Michael Lewis (on the gambling epidemic)

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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.

Experts on Expert.

Oh, wow, that was a kind of cheerleading move you did.

Thank you.

I'm Randy Shepard, and I'm joined by Lily Padme.

Oh,

it's an honor to announce our guest today.

Oh, one of our radical thinkers.

Yes.

Michael Lewis.

Michael is a best-selling author and podcaster.

His books, The Fifth Risk, Flash Boys, The Big Short, Read It, Loved It, Moneyball, The Blind Side.

He has an awesome podcast out currently.

You could listen immediately called Against the Rules.

And this season is all about

this pretty troubling gambling epidemic among young men.

Yeah.

And we talk at great length about that in addition to, you know, all of his other great works.

I mean, this person wrote Moneyball and The Big Short, two of my favorite movies of all time.

Yeah.

And we've left one out, which is this great

Wall Street book that started it all.

Liar Spoker.

Liar Spoker.

Yeah.

Good job.

I'm editing it.

But also, you're...

You've become a real brain trust.

Thank you, but I can't take credit for that.

I was editing it this morning.

Okay.

You are okay.

All right.

Please enjoy Michael Lewis.

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So true.

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He's an all-transfer.

He's an all-transfer.

He's an all-chance.

I just walked around the corner to your local pharmacy,

Alabud's pharmacy, and he said, What are you doing in our neighborhood?

I said, I'm doing Dak Shepherd's podcast.

And he goes, I love that podcast.

That guy's funny.

And his wife's even funnier.

That's true.

She's better looking.

She's more talented.

I'm still having a great life in her shadow.

And there's still plenty of light over here.

You get enough attention.

I do.

And the more she gets, the better for me.

Yes.

It's lovely.

I'm like, that's right.

Get a picture with her.

I'll hold the camera.

But also, you never walk into a dinner dinner party and everybody just wants to talk to you.

And that's good.

That's really good because I was on TV and had a girlfriend for nine years.

And it drove me mad that we would go places and people would be meeting her for the fifth time and introducing them.

And I'm like, this fucking sucks for her.

I don't know how she does this.

And for you.

No one's really winning.

I'm like, well, this is miserable.

You've just made this person I love feel very insignificant.

And I don't know how she's going to deal with this because I think it's going to just get worse for a while.

I just read the book.

I love it.

Oh, thanks.

So you have a circuitous path to writing, which is you are from New Orleans, yeah?

Yeah.

And you go to Princeton and you do art history.

And when you started that major, had it not occurred to you, there's no employment after.

Like I majored in Anthro, but I knew I'll never be employed as an anthropologist.

But you probably had the same experience I did.

You went into a class and you went, oh my God, this is interesting.

Yes.

And I had the freedom to do that.

A lot of people don't.

So I did too.

Not only had the freedom, I had a father who said, don't you dare waste your Princeton Princeton education trying to figure out what you're going to do for a living.

How to make money.

Yeah, he said, Don't go study economics because you want to work on Wall Street or that kind of stuff.

He says, Such a waste.

And your dad was a lawyer.

He was.

Does he fit the form of most lawyers where they absolutely hate their fucking job?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He ran a law firm.

He's still alive.

He's still great.

Good for you.

My parents are still living in the house I grew up in.

I'm going to go back in two weeks.

You know, you're going to live to 100.

What a freedom you have.

I'm going to

stay in my bedroom from when I was six years old.

So I had not only the freedom, but also a dad who had said, don't screw it up by succumbing to this pressure.

I knew that it wasn't a path to fame and fortune, but I didn't know what to do.

You were on fire for it.

I was so excited.

I lived for that feeling.

And you had a bit of focus on archaeology as well?

A little bit.

You did some homework.

Well, I tried to.

To get out of Princeton, you have to write a thesis, and it's not trivial.

Here's what was 160 pages.

190?

It was like 60,000 words.

It's like a book.

It was narrow.

I really cared about it.

It was about the way Donatello used classical sources.

And serendipitously, I had access to unpublished research about what Donatello would have seen.

We know all kinds of stuff that's been dug up since then that he didn't know.

So I could recreate the picture he had of what Romans and Greeks were doing and think about what he saw and how he used it in his sculpture.

And it had this feeling like I'm doing something that no one's done before.

Yeah.

So exciting.

When I got so immersed in something, I became a different kind of student.

I was a mediocre student when I had to do lots of shallow stuff.

When it was just deep dive and get it down on paper, I became excellent.

And for the first time really in my academic career, and I thought, oh, means I want to be an art historian.

And that is when the archaeologist who supervised the project said they know jobs.

Yeah.

This is what you're going to do right now.

Actually, in the thesis meeting, I must have been thinking, oh, I'm a good writer.

Because I said to him, what did you think about the writing?

He said, put it this way, never try to make a living at it.

Like, you're not that good a writer.

Oh,

that's where I was in my head when I got out of college.

I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do.

The professor says I'm not a very good writer.

He thought I I was a thinker, which was funny because I never thought I'd had a thought.

Yeah.

I wasn't aware of that.

If you caught me there, age 21, graduating from Princeton, you'd have said, poor Michael, he has no plan.

People have said, oh, he's charming.

We like having him around.

I have a lot of friends who are going to be successful.

You might get invited to some fun barbecues.

Oh, definitely.

That was never a problem.

It was like I captured some people's imagination, but no one saw use in me.

But I got in my head, shit, if I'm not going to be an art historian.

I want to write books.

I want to do that again.

So that started that early.

Yeah.

Okay, because my chronology for you, you do go get a job working for an art appraiser in New York or something, right?

Wildenstein.

You know the Wildenstein Gallery?

I do not.

You know it because of they call it the tiger lady, the lion lady who had all the plastic surgery.

She was Jocelyn Wildenstein.

She was the wife of the heir to the gallery.

And I actually knew her or had met her.

I was a stockboy at Wildenstein.

It was just like, get the pictures from the vaults and bring them out to show the clients.

And this place, it might still be the world's most valuable private collection of art.

When I was there, I mean, they had 64 Fragonards.

They had 10 Sezans no one had ever seen.

It started as Jewish rag merchants into the 1800s and on the streets of Paris would trade rags with Impressionist painters.

And then they smuggle all this stuff out

during World War II.

There's a whole story about collaboration with the Germans to get their stuff out.

So that stuff was in there.

And I was the stockboy.

Okay, so I had a rare experience where I knew a dude through sobriety who was an art dealer and he drove a carrera gt he had like 15 incredible cars i went to his house he had a magrete hanging on the wall he subsequently was evading the law what i found out is that that whole world is rife with Con artists.

There's got so many people that sell art they don't actually own.

It's a very willy-nilly world, right?

I feel like it needs an expose.

I thought that for a long time.

That's more true of the contemporary art world than it is of the world of old master paintings or even the Impressionists.

But still, there was a whole class of person who would come in and look at what might be a Raphael to say it was a Raphael.

And they were paid by the gallery to determine what it was.

And all the incentive in the market is to say it is, it is, it is.

And you saw with this Leonardo that sold for $400 million

two years ago.

You must have seen this, this picture.

It was found by a New York dealer in a Louisiana auction house and bought for like $4,000.

And it had been in a house six blocks from where I grew up for like 50 years.

A New Orleans family had bought it at auction in England.

Is it real?

It ended up being bought by the bad dude in Saudi Arabia for, I think, $450 million

and instantly discredited.

And it's sort of like maybe Leonardo might have seen this at some point.

Oh my God.

Did they get their money back?

No, because it hasn't been so totally discredited.

There's enough to be in a place between a fake and a forgery, right?

A A forgery is something that is consciously pretending to be something like you and I went and painted a Leonardo and tried to pass it off.

That's an actual fraud.

That's fraud.

There's intention.

This is misattribution.

It's probably like school of, but the Louvre had a Leonardo show.

The guy at the Louvre is sort of like the man, declined to include it in it.

And it's just vanished.

Nobody knows where it is.

Oh my God.

So that kind of thing happens.

quite a bit.

And of course, when the buyers are Russian oligarchs and they're sticking in shipping containers and nobody's going to see them again, they're just marks because yes you may get shot if they find out but nobody's going to know what you did i had in a movie i wrote a plot line about a guy who he wants to travel with 30 million dollars undetected so he has a mandreon that he just folds up into a backpack you know like it's a very cool

transfer of wealth these things it's like how else does one hold 400 million dollars and travel with it but you can but if you have a stolen work of art you've got something that really isn't vendable you're not gonna be able to sell that right you get the pleasure out of it but that's all you're gonna get you get to tell your mobster buddies, come over and look at this.

That you have.

Can I tell one Wiltenstein story?

Because this was an amazing story.

The question at the time when I was there, I was only there six months, but I had a free run of the whole place because I was a stockboy.

So I spent all my time looking at paintings no one knew existed and sculptures.

There was a time when Daniel Wildenstein, since deceased, the grandson of the guy who founded it, comes rolling in from Paris and he says, bring me the Houdon.

Now, Houdon was a very famous Enlightenment sculptor.

He did the busts, you know, of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin and Voltaire.

He managed to get all the leaders of the day.

They're these magnificent, realistic things.

And everybody thought they were all known.

You'd open a book on a hudon, you'd see all of them.

And to our knowledge, we did not own a houdon.

And so nobody knows what he's talking about.

And finally, he gets really upset.

And he marches into the elevator and motions everyone to come with him, goes down to the basement, pulls out this massive, shitty plaster bust of his father, of George Willenstein, I think his name was.

Takes a hammer and a chisel, goes, boom, it opens up, and inside is a houdon of Mirabeau, who was the triple agent in the French Revolution and who had smallpox.

His face was all scarred.

And this thing was unknown to anybody.

They had smuggled it out of Paris and gotten it to New York.

Whoa.

Now it's known.

It's sold.

I don't know who bought it, but it was like he put a $10 million price tag on it and eventually it sold.

Yeah.

There was that kind of stuff going on.

You're kind of watching as they pull the jade mask out of the burial site.

Like you're getting to see the artifact when it's first discovered in a way, watching it come out of the plastic or that.

It must have been so cool as an art person to be in it like that.

There was nothing to do all day because the only people who came through, every now and then, a billionaire would come through.

And every now and then, the other people who would come through were the museum directors.

And there was a guy named Tom Hoving, who was a very famous director of the Metropolitan Museum, and another guy named Everett Fahey, who ran the Frick Museum.

They were just world-class observers of paintings.

And they would come through, and I'd be left alone with them.

I was told, show them whatever they want to see.

Fayhee, I loved him.

Both of them have died since.

But Fayhee came through and I got to kind of know him because he came through a few times.

And one time he looks at me, he goes, you have any friends who are interested in Renaissance painting?

I said, yeah, actually, my dad is.

He's obsessed with it.

He says, this isn't very expensive.

They have a couple of pictures here.

I don't think they know what they have.

Really?

Wow.

My father owns them.

No.

No way.

My father bought them.

Because you were like, hey, dad, fucking pick these up.

Wow, insider trading.

Well, I mean, they sold it knowing it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He said, these are gems.

These are interesting pictures.

They're not very expensive.

One was $40,000.

I mean, they cost something.

Yeah.

What do you think they're valued at today?

He has a Saint Jerome in the wilderness bashing himself in the chest with a rock.

The idea is to ward off sexual thoughts.

Age-old story.

Not an obvious thing to go and take a rock to yourself.

But it's by Fiorenzo de Lorenzo, who is the master of Perugino, master of Raphael.

And it's an amazing picture.

He bought it for, I don't know, $100,000 or something, and it's a million-dollar painting.

Anyway, it's great.

That's so cool.

That's so cool.

I want to get into art.

Well, be careful.

Here's the problem.

The original point, this seems like this should be a good book in the art market.

And I'm sure for someone else there is.

I have so much trouble caring about the people.

The people who are the victims are billionaire collectors.

And it's just so hard to get worked up about the characters.

This Saudi dude got ripped off for $450 million.

I'm kind of like, cool.

I'm glad the money's here.

Yeah, you're kind kind of rooting for the guy who ripped him off.

Did you ever want to steal one?

That's all I would be thinking about.

I'm like, I got to get a replica of this.

You know, it's very funny you say that because I swear to you, that thought never crossed my mind.

No.

That's the first thing I thought.

I mean, it's so funny.

They must smell that and keep people like that out.

Yeah.

But that thought never crossed my mind.

What did cross my mind, this is a strange story for whatever reason.

My father told me two things growing up about careers.

He wasn't unhappy with being a lawyer exactly.

It just wasn't a passion project.

What he was was a very gifted administrator.

And so he ran the law firm.

He would also end up running businesses that the law firm were entangled with.

He did a lot of different kind of administrative things.

He ran a big hospital for a stretch, but he said, the problem with the law, unless you're a litigator, and litigators love their jobs.

They're performers.

They're actors in the courtroom.

He said, you're dealing with other people's problems, and other people's problems are just not that interesting.

You're also dealing with people in the worst version of themselves.

They are in trouble.

They are desperate.

They're scared.

You're not catching any of these people on their best day.

You're catching families that are fighting over money and it's nasty.

So he kind of scared me off the law and things like the law.

But for some reason, he said, never take a job where you have to wear a blue suit.

I think what he was thinking was banking.

I don't know what he was thinking.

He had something in his head about if you have to wear a blue suit.

And I thought, well, that's never going to happen.

But when I got to the Wildenstein Art Gallery, the rule was the stock boy had to wear a blue suit.

And all I had was like seersucker from New Orleans.

And I just wore it.

And they started yelling at me, go go get a blue suit.

And I said, I don't own a blue suit.

It was a knockdown, drag out fight.

And finally, they took me by the hand over to the Bloomingdales Young Men's Department and bought me a blue suit.

And so the one thing I did do that was kind of squirrely was when I quit, I went in the morning before they opened and I left the blue suit on the sidewalk in front of the place.

Wow.

As an act of like, I don't know what, upper middle class protests.

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Very brave.

Very brave.

Very brave.

Very brave.

Okay, so after a bit of this, you do realize I'm going to need to make a living and you decide to go to the London School of Economics.

That was a bank shot because I had a girlfriend at the time who was getting out of college and she really wanted to go to the London School of Economics.

Okay, great.

And you wanted to be with her.

Yeah, so I followed her.

And I also had the thought.

The world is a conspiracy of people who understand the language of economics.

All these classmates of mine in college seemed to threw away their college lives studying something they didn't care about, but in exchange, they got a pass.

They got a pass to wander the halls of Goldman Sachs.

They could talk that language.

And I thought, I'm going to go learn that language just to go learn that language.

I was suspicious.

And I had one class in microeconomics when I was a senior that I took pass-fail because I didn't have to do very much work so I could focus on my thesis.

And I remember thinking, why didn't I realize this was interesting?

I stayed away from it because all these people I disapproved of were studying it rather than going and seeing what it was.

And actually, some of this is really an interesting way to see the world.

learned of, in combination with your Van Di Fair article and this great front line about the meltdown, when I learned about the complexities of the credit default swap and about the instruments that no one at the firm understands except for three people.

That is fascinating.

That's finance.

So that wasn't even this.

This was like, what's the difference between a complement and a substitute in the marketplace?

When prices go up, what happens to demand and supply?

Like Adam Smith.

Yeah, it was Adam Smith 101.

I thought, wow.

Markets are fascinating.

They're like a living organism.

They're cool.

They are cool.

And the London School of Economics gave me a chance to play catch-up.

They had a program where they put you through their whole undergraduate program in a year and you got a master's in year two.

My father, in his wisdom, he called it the Lewis family deal.

And this is the joy of being raised with privilege.

He said, as long as you're doing something, I will cover your expenses for the first three years out of college.

Oh,

laws of that.

So I was working as the art dealer, but I didn't get paid very much.

I actually became a woodworker's apprentice for six months.

And then I went to the London School of Economics for two years.

And that was, in a lot of ways, transformative.

That's where I started publishing stuff.

I started submitting things willy-nilly to magazines.

And the British are much more receptive than Americans to amateurs.

It's not who are you?

They just read it and go, wow, I like this.

That's almost counterintuitive to me.

I think of Britain as being much more steeped in social hierarchies and prestige.

That's true, but there are many fields that we treat as professions that they treat as crafts or guilds.

You don't have to go to journalism school.

You're just writing.

Yeah.

I have a great friend in Britain who's a journalist, and yeah, he didn't go to, and he's incredible.

No one cares if you wrote for the school newspaper.

All they care about is does the piece work?

Okay, so the writing started then.

That's where it started.

So then you go and you trade bonds or you sell bonds.

I mean, there's a wild story.

You have a cousin in London who's kind of aristocracy.

She married into it.

New Orleanians understand this language more than anybody on earth.

She's my first cousin once removed.

Yeah, no one knows it.

Which means she's my mother's first cousin.

She married Baron Patrick von Stauffenberg.

Fucking A, let's go.

He is the nephew.

You know the von Stauffenberg who put the bomb onto Hitler's table?

No.

Yes.

His uncle was the one who tried to assassinate Hitler.

No, that's a a cool name.

And he's great.

They were great.

I got to London and they had dinner parties and I would be the young person they would invite over to amuse the older people.

One day she says, I got an extra seat at a dinner and it's in St.

James's Palace.

It was hundreds of people, but the queen mother was coming and she said, you can meet the queen mother.

And I thought, why not?

You know, is the queen mother just the queen?

The queen's mother.

Oh,

very literally.

She was Queen Elizabeth's mother.

Okay, great.

And I was sat between two women, both of whose husbands ran Solomon Brothers' London office.

And at the end of it, one of them said,

whatever you're doing, you stop doing.

You ought to come work for my husband.

Come work at Solomon Brothers.

Which I can read between the lines and you charm the fuck out of these.

The fix was in at that point.

I went over and had interviews, but it was kind of like, whatever.

Everybody seemed to like me right when I walked in the door.

And then I got offered this job.

You talk about learning the secret language of what's really going on.

It's like, yeah, that's how it happens.

If your wife says hi, or then

this is really true.

It masquerades as a pure meritocracy.

The The first break is not pure meritocracy.

No.

I had that point in my head.

I was getting out of school.

And at this point, the Lewis plan was over.

I had to make a living.

I was publishing stuff, but I was being paid so poorly, you couldn't live on it.

And I thought this when I got out of college, when I started to write stuff that didn't get published, have lots of experiences.

Writers have this problem.

They just become writers, and then they don't know anything but writing.

And that gets very boring.

And you write books about

you've been pretending to be other people since you're 18.

You didn't gain any real experience.

Yeah, it's to be a lot of people.

You're playing up factory worker.

You never even how do you enter into that space?

Yeah, that's right.

I'm just going to have to rely heavily on imagination.

And a bag of tricks, probably.

Yeah.

So I thought, and still think, whenever you have a chance to have meaningful life experience that isn't writing, have it.

It will inform the writing.

And it gets harder and harder to do that.

You're typed as the writer.

Yeah, the more successful you are, it almost hinders you in that way.

True, because you don't have to do it.

Yeah.

A lot of interesting stuff happens because you have to do it.

But I thought of Wall Street, not only is it going to pay me a whole bunch of money, but this could be interesting to write about.

You know, to peek behind the curtain of this culture, which is elusive, how could you not be intrigued to see what's happening?

Back Wall Street in the 80s.

Yes.

Nobody quite understood what had just happened.

Why were young people who had just come out of college being paid the equivalent of $100,000 or something to start when they clearly didn't know anything?

Like, what was that all about?

It was also true that serious quantitative ability was starting to get valued.

So this was the moment where they were starting to grab people out of like the physics department at MIT.

And it was just happening in our place.

We were at the bleeding edge of that.

And as chance had it, it wasn't just that I got a job on Wall Street.

At that moment, the firm I joined, Solomon Brothers, was making more money than all the other Wall Street firms combined.

What had happened is there had been an explosion in indebtedness in the society.

The government was borrowing lots of money.

There was the invention of mortgage bonds.

When did those get invented?

Late 70s, early 80s, but the market was exploding.

And Solomon Brothers had historically been this place was kind of a sleepy backwater, but they were really really shrewd traders of bonds.

And bonds were always thought to be like, that's not where the money is.

Stocks are where the money is.

And all of a sudden, bonds were where the money was.

And what happened in that place was the best story on Wall Street.

An atomic bomb of money went off.

In a crazy place, that, although when I got to it, had become a public corporation.

They had sold stock in themselves.

They had pretty recently been just a private partnership.

And the behavior in the place was like the behavior you would have in a private men's club where nobody was ever going to see what happened there.

And it was literally every third day, some stripper would come in, take off all their clothes on the desk.

Dude, they're throwing spitballs at each other.

I mean, everyone's acting like they're 13.

Yeah, buying too much food just to show off.

The material was fantastic.

What about Coke?

How much were you seeing Coke?

I need a little more Coke in this story.

Is it Coke or Kwaluds?

I hesitate to.

That's to come off the Coke.

Because I'm pretty naive about drugs.

Oh, you are.

Alcohol is great.

I never really needed any more.

But we would agree it was all fueled by Coke.

It was fueled by almost like a gambling addiction.

But that's what you saw.

It's this compulsive behavior.

People were betting money for the firm.

And when they weren't betting money for the firm, they were betting with each other on anything they could bet on.

Liars, poker.

Dice.

One thing after another.

Horses, sports.

It was just constant gambling.

And I got my problems, but that's not one of them.

I don't care about it.

But it was fun to watch and fun to describe.

They let in all kinds of characters.

It wasn't cookie-cutter people, former Navy fighter pilots and former professional athletes and people who just come off the street and shouted their way into a job.

It was hustlers.

That's an energetic vibe.

Very energetic.

In some ways, I love that part of the place.

Yeah, I bet it would be intoxicating just to be involved in it.

It was.

It was also intoxicating because I was, by their standards, kind of an intellectual.

I had gone to Princeton.

I had a master's.

I thought all the time about things.

Yeah, you knew about art.

Yeah, that kind of stuff.

Triggering stuff.

And so there was a training class for six months where it was not like teachers from out of the place.

It was the actual traders paraded through and you could ask them anything.

And I was the guy who always had his hand in the air and was grilling them, trying to understand what they did.

I got to master the subject because they let me do it.

It's a moment I don't have anymore.

I know what goes on in Wall Street a little bit, but at the time, I felt like I knew more about what's going on in Wall Street than anybody.

And so much of the stuff is brand new.

Everything's been digitized.

That's right.

The young person is learning it and the old people don't know it.

It was absolutely thrilling for about a year and a half.

And then I hit some cliff.

All of a sudden, there wasn't that much to learn.

And what I was supposed to be doing is selling people stuff they shouldn't buy.

And you're surrounded by toxic human beings who are in a noseduct.

Yes.

I remember just like going home at night and staring at the ceiling thing, I can't believe I just did that.

You did a bad, bad thing.

And I was rewarded for it.

I was successful.

I was in the loan office and my clients were people who were managing billions of dollars.

It wasn't widows and orphans, but my job was to get them to do stuff they probably shouldn't do.

Or sometimes they should do it, but mostly not.

And in a funny way this is a little crude it was to get them to take the other side of bets that our own traders were making so these are not good bets that's what's wild as you learn about how all these banks work they're playing every single side of it they used to be some tiny margins yes that's right it's like in your podcast the guy who figured out on a new york Knicks versus Lakers game, the odds in New York are going to be different because they're biased by loving the Knicks.

And then the Lakers betters are going to be biased.

So the spread in those two places, there's something to be made there.

There's like a point off.

Yeah, that's right.

You bet the Knicks in Los Angeles and the Lakers in New York, and you're going to win, or at least you're not going to lose.

Get different point spreads in different places.

Yeah.

I got to a point where I was faking it.

And when I started to fake it, I started to do less work at work and started to write more articles about what was going on at work.

And I got in trouble.

I was wondering the fallout because it's nonfiction.

You're using everyone's names.

This is what happened.

I wrote an article for the Wall Street Journal's op-ed page saying everybody on Wall Street was overpaid.

Oh,

while you were there, while

you could jump at the bottom of it, it said my name, and I was an associate of Solomon Brothers in London.

Oh, wow.

This is how delusional a 24-year-old is, though.

I remember thinking, it's so cool.

Everybody's going to think it's so cool.

He has an article.

I was thinking, I'd come in the boss and we'd go, man, you have an article in the Wall Street Journal.

Oh, no.

That's not what they said.

You thought everyone had your same primary desire, which is to be a published trial.

I get to work.

The guy who's the husband of the woman, the guy who hired me, who ran the whole Solomon Brothers, is waiting for me at my desk.

I really liked him.

And he looked so sad

and kind of gray.

And he said, Michael, what have you done?

He said, I've been up all night.

And I said, why?

And he said,

because you love my article so much.

And he said, no, we had an emergency board member meeting because of the article.

And I said, oh,

very oddly, there were a bunch of reasons that they didn't want to fire me.

It would have looked horrible if they fired you.

You'd be like a a whistleblower.

No, that wasn't it at all.

What was it?

I had stumbled into the second or third most profitable client the firm had who I didn't do anything useful for.

They were just amused that I was there and I would tell them the things I was going to write.

The guy said, I don't need any advice from people like you.

If you just tell me what you're saying, that will be useful enough and I'll funnel a lot of my business through you.

It was Jacob Rothschild.

Wow.

The Rothschild.

The Rothschild, the guys who ran his money and they became so big that I was just a money machine.

All I was was not offensive to them.

I wasn't trying to sell them things that they shouldn't buy.

And whenever they buy something, they call or sell something.

And they let us make money off them.

They were really pretty funny because I was 24.

They refused to talk to anybody else in the firm.

Oh, I love this movie.

So extremely important people, including the CEO, would come to London and want to meet them because, my God, they're now the second biggest client of the firm.

And they would say, no, thank you.

We just want to talk to Michael.

This is awesome.

So in a way, they made me possible.

They protected me.

So the guy wasn't going to fire.

His name was Charlie McFay.

great guy he says we gotta find a way this doesn't ever happen again you can't write it's what i love to do and i'm gonna keep doing it and he goes could you find another name oh and i said that's not a problem and i don't know why it popped into my head i said what if i use my mother's maiden name diana bleecker monroe so i wrote some things under the name of diana bleecker oh interesting because now we've changed genders i wonder what that does to the reception that's what he said he said this is perfect because none of these people around here are going to think a girl's a guy right right exact quote He said, no one will think about it.

It never would say Solomon.

It would just say Diana Bleecker is whatever.

Now, The New Republic then was a pretty hot magazine.

Michael Kinsley was an editor of genius.

Michael Kinsley, who published some of my first pieces, some of them under the name of Diana Bleecker.

He refused to just let it sit at that.

So he would put at the bottom of the article, Diana Bleecker is a pseudonym.

One day I got home and I got a landline call.

I pick up the phone and the actor Chevy Chase,

his dad was named Ned Chase, And Ned Chase was a prominent nonfiction editor at Simon ⁇ Schuster.

Oh, wow.

He said who he was.

I can't remember if he told me that Chevy was his son.

He did.

Guarantee.

I'll be out.

He definitely did.

He might have.

And he said, I just figured out you're Diana Bleaker.

He said, and you really need to write a book.

And at that point, I thought, you'll pay me to write a book?

I'm out of here.

It had to be a pay cut, though.

Oh, well, a huge pay cut, but I wasn't even thinking that.

It's as long as I can live on it.

So I remember this.

It would have been like September of 1987 because I realized at that point, I got to stay till January because my bonus will hit my bank account in January.

So I got to fake this until January.

Once a month I would fly back to New York to bring clients to the Chicago Exchange or to go hobnob with the people on the New York trading floor.

And I had with me a notepad out when the stock market crash of October 1987 happened.

And I was just wandering the Solomon Brothers trading floor, writing what ended up being a chapter in the book.

And I was already thinking, I got a book in this.

Yeah.

Funny that nobody is like, Michael, what do you write right now?

So that happened right before that.

And then I told them I was leaving in January of 88 and the book appears in the fall of 89.

There's one other funny little footnote.

They were charming in their way.

They were rude, crude, socially unacceptable, misogynist.

Like if any one of these guys was sitting here, you would like them.

Yeah, of course.

You would say, Michael, you're an asshole for having sold them out.

That's a real guy.

You shouldn't have done that.

They were not phony, slick investment bankers.

They were like street hustlers.

And I was very fond of them.

Not all of them were that way, but a lot of them were that way.

So you've seen this chick has just written a book about Facebook called Careless People has just come out and Facebook has sued her.

And she's not even allowed to go on television to talk about her book.

Oh, no.

And she signed some sort of non-disparagement agreement when she was leaving Facebook.

So she can never talk about it now.

And they have to pull the books.

She feels like you have made everyone else wise.

Something like that.

So I didn't sign anything.

And not only had I not sign anything, I told them, I'm quitting to go write a book and I'm going to write a book by Wall Street.

Why not tell them, right?

I like them.

And some big shots brought me into a room and asked me, what are they paying you?

And I said, I think it's like $40,000 advance.

They had just given me like $160,000 bonus.

And that was like for them chump changes.

It's like, next year it's going to be $400,000.

Oh, my God.

They brought me in a room and the tone was, they were troubled.

They were really worried about my mental health.

They thought I was screwing up my life by leaving what they thought was a sure fortune to go write a book.

Who was going to read a book?

Yeah, yeah.

They cared about my well-being.

I'm going to regret saying this because it'll come back to haunt me.

I have said it a few times.

I don't think I've ever said it publicly.

One of the guys, and he was extremely senior in the firm, said, Michael, we think you could run the firm one day.

Oh, my God.

And I remember thinking, you're out of your fucking mind.

I can hardly show up.

I can't brag myself to work.

Did I run the firm one day?

But they thought highly enough of me in that moment.

They just cared.

Well, how intriguing you must have been to them.

Oh, my God.

I don't know.

I think so because you all seemingly have the same goal, which is like, let's make a bunch of fucking money and let's make it for our clients.

And to see someone have gotten to the place they're all desiring to be and to leave is just very intriguing.

Well, it was weird.

This is Bradley from your podcast.

To go be a Rhodes Scholar.

That's so intriguing.

Instead of going to the Knicks right away.

David Robinson, instead of going right to the Spurs, goes into

the Navy.

Roger Staubach does the same thing for the Cowboys.

Some people go on Mormon missions.

Fucking Tillman.

Yeah, people do that kind of thing.

It's far more noble than anything I did to go and fight for your country.

Yeah, yeah.

To be wired so that you're insisting on living your life instead of the life the world wants you to live.

And that sounds like, oh, of course you live your life, but actually, there are all these incentives to do stuff that you really don't particularly want to do.

You just get on an exit and you're on that road.

And it takes a great deal of effort to exit it.

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This is a byproduct of first being raised with incredible privilege, so I don't fear starvation.

So that's a necessary condition there.

But it's also a byproduct of being from New Orleans and being raised in a pretty happy, very kind of family-oriented environment where you didn't get measured by your success, except in sports.

But nobody knew what anybody else's dad did for a living or cared.

That's unique.

A value system was a little different, but I knew what happiness felt like.

I also think New Orleans, New Orleans, whatever you call them, I think they also value personality more than other places.

What is really rewarded is openness to other people.

Openness is casual social interaction.

Being entertaining is highly valued, but it isn't highly valued in a very self-conscious way.

It's just appreciated and encouraged.

Yeah, yeah.

To be a character is cool.

Yeah.

Okay, so the book comes out.

It's very successful.

It is one of the seminal works from that time.

It goes right to the top of the New York Times bestseller list.

Wow.

And I'm nobody and I'm 28.

All of a sudden, I have a career.

People are telling me I'm a born writer, which comes as news to anybody who ever taught me.

Yeah, you should send that to the professor or the English teachers throughout time.

It was like, I always had problems.

And so it is a curious situation to be in.

So my one follow-up question, because now that is 30, however many years.

36 years in the River View Mirror.

And I imagine you have a similar dissonance that Oliver Stone has, where Wall Street, although supposed to be a cautionary tale, was very inspiring to a lot of people to actually get into Wall Street.

How do you take the fact that many people read Liars Poker as a how-to?

They want more tips.

So this was a great lesson to me about how people read books.

They read the book they want to read.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got a letter after I wrote The Big Short from a very intelligent, very serious, very upset Oxford Don, a philosophy.

I saved it.

I don't remember his name.

Saying, you were responsible once for diverting all this young talent to Wall Street.

I thought you might have learned your lesson, but you've now done it again with a big short, and you really ought to take responsibility for what your readers do with your books.

And I'm not unsympathetic to the criticism.

Maybe I should take more responsibility for the consequences of the books.

However, if I do that, the books are going to suck.

Also, the person who wants to read the big short and get that message is in search of that message and will find it.

Find it somewhere.

And I just talked about this the other day.

It's like JD Sandra cannot take responsibility for two assassins holding his book.

I'm sorry that those people, Phil Incline, John Lennon's assassin, is reading the book at the scene of the crime.

There's been a suspicious amount of people that have found the inspiration to assassinate people.

Now, I read that book.

It's one of my favorites.

I certainly didn't get that message.

No.

Yeah, it's Bill Gates' favorite book.

He started Microsoft, but it's not on JD's.

He can't fucking decide how people are going to.

And it isn't that every young person who read the book said, no, I want to go work on Wall Street.

Cause I've had plenty of people say, I read it and I hear what you thought it might have done.

And it did that for me.

It demystified it for me.

And I thought, I don't really need to go do that.

I'm going to go do what I'm going to go do.

So I've had plenty of people say that, but I've had more people say, it's why I went to Wall Street.

Wow.

But those people would have found some other reason to go to Wall Street.

Exactly.

I do think there's an appeal to it.

I get it.

It's like, if you're a young dude, it's the closest you can get to have a career that is playing a video game.

You chase points, more points.

You're in a constant state of dopamine and reward center being triggered and all the addiction things.

I get it.

People who want to live at 11, that's the spot for you.

Yeah, you get to play a video game with a stripper on your desk.

Yes.

Yes, while eating too much guacamole that you've ordered.

No, that's right.

Yeah, yeah.

I think there's this other thing.

Books have dog whistles.

And sometimes you don't realize what the dog whistle is until you say, oh my God, look at all these dogs running because of the book.

And the dog whistle for this book was, I persuade the reader, because it's true, that I don't know anything.

Art history major, yeah, I studied economics, but that doesn't teach you how to make money on Wall Street.

I get to Wall Street, yeah, I learn intellectually how these markets work, but I know nothing I say to you is going to cause you to go get rich.

And if I knew something, I'd go to our trader and tell him to do it and make money for the firm.

There's almost no way that what I'm saying has actual financial value, and yet the world is paying me a fortune for it.

There are lots of young men sitting at American universities who think, I don't know anything, and no one's ever going to pay me to do anything because I don't know anything.

But look, he doesn't know anything.

Yeah.

And they paid him a fortune.

This is the place for me that I'm just like him.

Hollywood.

Yeah.

There's a lot of Hollywood.

Wow, I'm just like him.

There was, I identify with you.

And wow, it pays to be that.

And so that happened a lot.

I do want to talk for a second about Big Short because I had the enormous pleasure, and I want to thank you to your face

to getting an issue of Vanity Fair where you started writing in 09 and reading the article that led to that book, or maybe that was an excerpt.

Portfolio magazine.

Is that what it was?

It was a kind of Ness magazine, but the big shorts starts when an editor portfolio calls me and says,

You want to revisit?

And I said, Nobody will talk to me.

I am just toxic.

If anybody sees me on a trading floor, anybody who brought me in is going to get fired.

Who's the guy who rattled the automotive industry with the safety glass?

Ralph Nader?

Yes.

You were like the Ralph Nader of Finance.

I just thought I'm toxic.

But however, I sensed that the things that had gone wrong in these big Wall Street firms had their origins in my experience at Solomon Brothers and that this was kind of the end of a story that I had written the beginning of.

Yeah.

And then I started just trying

calling some of the guys who had lost all the money for the Wall Street firms.

And they were individual traders who had lost like $10 billion.

For me, it was unthinkable because the place I left, the Wall Street firm had such an informational advantage in the market, they seemed to just win every time.

And I thought that was going to happen forever.

But somehow, Merrill Lynch and Morgan Stanley and Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns had become the dumb money at the table.

I thought that's the story.

Well, AIG the most.

AIG too.

They were selling the credit defaults.

They were selling, all these people were selling insurance.

And I just want to say to people really quick, a credit default swap.

It basically is in concept.

I own a million shares of General Motors.

I want to make sure I have a little insurance in case it ever goes out of business that I don't get wiped out.

So that's a credit default swap.

But you actually don't have to own a million dollars of stock.

This is the fucking major hiccup in the premise of this product.

So I can say, I want to insure 10 million shares of Berkshire Hathaway and then launch some scandal.

I could buy fire insurance on your house.

Now, what incentive does that create?

That you want my house to burn down.

I want your house to burn down.

Yeah, that's an insane product.

There is a wonderful New Yorker writer named Casey Sepp who wrote a book about Harper Lee.

And in this book, she creates the book that Harper Lee was trying to create when she got blocked.

And it's about about a minister in the South who bought life insurance policies on other people and then murdered them.

Of course.

Yes, yes.

We see this on Dayline every week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And made a huge living.

Yeah, yeah.

You should not be able to buy insurance policies

you don't own.

Exactly.

Or lives that aren't yours.

That's right.

However, Wall Street creates this product where you can buy insurance policies on securities you don't own.

And they're astronomical, people should know.

So it's like the factor of I can insure a million dollars worth of stock i don't own for very little amount of money the returns were astronomical it's pennies on the dollar i can buy a billion dollars insurance for a few million dollars on these bonds that are never going to go bad and lehman brothers which people own credit default swaps on lehman brothers started as a rumor that took down the firm that's right so they create all these incentives to destroy all these companies but it dovetails nicely into the fact that you started when mortgage-backed bonds happen because now we have all these mortgage bundles that were being sold all over the place And you buy a short selling even if you didn't own the things.

And so I wander back into Wall Street for Portfolio Magazine and I start calling some of these traders and they want to talk to me.

That's when I thought, Christ, I might be able to do this because I can get that side of the story.

And it turned out they wanted to talk to me because Liars Poker was why they were on Wall Street.

And it's like after about

10 days, it was like, I created the financial crisis with this book.

Stories need structure.

And there were two aha moments.

One is, oh, they were the dumb money.

Who's the smart money?

Michael Burry.

Yeah.

That's among the most interesting stories I've ever read.

It's such an amazing personal story encased in this kind of world event.

But the notion that you have a man who has a wandering eye or a lazy eye and believes that's why he's a glass eye, even better.

And that's why he's not social.

And that's why he explains all of his awkwardness with all of his relationships through this glass eye.

And then he's a fucking surgeon.

Training to be.

A nuisance.

And then starts trading.

And he's the only person willing to sit down and read the actual loan loan applications and then wins and has a son who clearly is autistic, then takes the test.

And as he's saying, my son does not have autism, and he's getting 100%.

I mean, what a fucking story.

There was this cliche on Wall Street when I was there in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

And he was actually the one-eyed man who was king in the land of the blind.

And there's this other thing about him.

It wasn't until the movie came out that I understood it.

Christian Bale plays him in the movie.

Christian Bale nailed him so unbelievably exactly on the screen.

And I had the thought, I could not have described to Christian Bale what he needed to do to play that role.

How did that happen?

So Christian Bale finally confessed to me what he had done.

Michael Berry said, Christian Bale called me up and said he wanted to spend the day with me, and it was the weirdest day I've ever had in my life.

Christian Bale came and studied him for a day.

He was you on the trading floor.

That's right.

And asked for his clothes at the end of the day.

So Michael Berry shipped him his clothes, so he wore his clothes.

But Christian Bale figured out that all the weird mannerisms he said, it all came from him breathing in the wrong places in sentences.

If you try this,

if you do this, all of a sudden you're herky jerky in all kinds of odd ways.

And he's told Adam McKay, the director, as long as I'm breathing in the wrong place, I will reproduce this guy's physical.

He is the best living actor.

I'll be on record saying he's impossibly good.

There's something about when someone is really good at what they do, there's a simplicity to it.

Everything slows down for them.

When he said that, I actually thought, first, I'm ashamed that I spent a year with Michael Berry and I did not notice that.

You wouldn't have been able to pinpoint that.

It was his breathing out.

I just need to notice things.

And I never noticed that.

But yes, it's true.

And then I thought, when I go write about people, I'm going to try to spend a little time pretending I'm Christian Bale and asking myself, if I'm Christian Bale, how do I play him?

If I had to be him.

Yeah.

I think

that's even funnier as a protocol is you call the subject and you go, I want to do a piece on you, but first I'm going to send actor Christian Valley for a couple hours and then I'm going to meet with Chris and then I'm going to come talk to you.

It's a very unconventional approach I have to writing, but you will be sitting with Christian Valentine.

Spend a couple hours with you just to tell me how to describe you.

The movie's so good.

Were you so happy with it?

Yes.

More than happy.

I was shocked he pulled it off.

I thought it was undoable.

I didn't say you made it.

People buy stuff all the time they're never going to make.

I thought this is one of those.

It's incredible.

Yeah.

But he had to get really creative.

And he nailed it and it's got real relevance now.

I think that event, the financial crisis, speaks to this moment in our politics right now.

The anger it created.

And it was a justifiable anger.

All of a sudden, we go from a society where everybody is at least willing to at least pretend to believe that it's capitalism.

We're all living by the same rules.

It's fair, but it's harsh.

Then all of a sudden, no, these rich people are not playing by the same rules.

If I fail, I fail.

If they fail, the government comes in and not only bails them out, but enables them to keep paying themselves huge sums of money when what they did caused enormous harm to me they should at least be out of business down to if you were on a line making suvs for general motors that hit you it just really knew no boundaries that crisis it radicalized a lot of people yeah and it's funny because you can read about savings and loan scandal milking right after you wrote liars poker and you kind of think okay we identified this thing we must be aware of but then it resurfaces in 2008 and you go okay and what you really have to admit is this impulse is never going anywhere.

It'll be whack-a-mole for eternity.

This is the nature of people.

I think that's right.

And it'll have different shapes over your lifetime, but you're going to witness these things every 15, 20 years.

And that's kind of the reality on this planet.

And that's my cynical takeaway.

But if you think about what came out of that event, the Tea Party, which morphs into Trump.

Tea Party even into QAnon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Bitcoin, which is a reaction to the mistrust of the institutions and the governments.

I remember when I was reporting the book, one of the obstacles I faced was that the smart people who'd been on the right side and had often tried to do the right thing.

They didn't just make the bet, or in one case, before they made the bet, they went to the Wall Street Journal, they went to the FBI, they went to the SEC, and nobody wanted to hear about it.

They made the bet sort of more in sorrow than in greed, but they were terrified that the society is going to wake up and it's going to have to turn on someone and they're going to turn on me because I made all this money out of it.

And getting the subjects comfortable with me coming in and talking to them to write about them in a way that was going to make them very prominent made them very nervous yeah you're shining out line at wait somehow this guy made a billion dollars during this like the two guys those two guys were the most sensitive yeah I bet they seemed like such sweethearts two young guys in the garage in Berkeley yes now what wasn't in the book it was the one time in my career I regret allowing a subject to tell me we'll tell you everything but there's one thing you have to keep out no one's ever done it to me before but I thought in this case I should do it it was worth it his father was the vice chairman of Lehman Brothers he and his father had this argument while they were making the bet because the father had funded the firm.

Like the father would say, Lehman Brothers would never do such things and Lehman Brothers would never be in this position.

And the son's saying, no, your firm's actually corrupt.

It got very heated.

If you were ever going to turn this into a different kind of drama, that father-son thing, it killed me.

I couldn't use it.

Yeah.

That would be very frustrating to be telling this whole story and to be leaving out such a compelling part of it.

I hate the feeling that I haven't told the reader everything I think is important.

Yeah.

And it was the one time I felt this is kind of important.

The reader should know this.

But that was the only time.

I have moments like that in my life.

I remember I stopped blurbing books like 20 years ago because someone I had a social connection with asked me to blurb the book.

I didn't like the book.

I could not do it.

So I was lying on the back of the book.

I said, I'm just never doing this again.

So I'm never going to do this again either.

If I can't include all of it, it was worth it, but uncomfortable.

We cut stuff in here that any guest wants cut.

And

our feeling is generally more just like, oh, what a bummer.

That's That's a really good spot.

And they're too nervous about this.

How often does that happen?

One in five.

There are very few times, but there have been times that I've pushed back.

There's a reason why this is important to keep in.

Yeah, most often it's heartbreaking because they're worried about the reaction.

And it's so clear that the reaction would be very positive and supportive.

And it's just like, you don't see that this is actually great.

It's never like, oh, damn, we don't have a juicy thing.

It's just like, oh, man, you don't know that this is actually quite endearing about you.

So, this is very funny you say this because universally, when I write a book, the main characters are a little upset with me because I don't give anybody any editorial control.

And they read it when it comes out.

And they call, we have a conversation.

They don't feel betrayed exactly.

That's not right.

They feel like I have exposed them.

They feel very, very nice.

They feel naked.

And they're upset that they're naked.

And then what happens is people appreciate them.

Yes.

And their best friend calls and says, that's you.

And they realize my best friend knows that's me and still loves me.

And so everything's okay.

And then they forget that they were ever naked.

Yeah.

And then they forget they were ever upset.

I don't write books about people I don't feel some sympathy for.

This is not a hostile act.

Yeah, yeah.

I know exactly what you're saying.

People don't know how other people see them and they think they're managing the situation and they aren't.

I know that you are seeing me right now in some way that's slightly different than I would see myself if I was sitting there describing myself.

And it would make me uncomfortable to know what you were saying of course but it's okay as we say in aa it's none of your business like what he thinks of me it's actually none of your business

okay would you agree that i guess it's five seasons not four but this season of your podcast against the rules so we took on sports gambling as a way to talk about the society really but it's a really interesting situation and it's an awkward thing to take on because everybody who might take it on is being paid by the sports gambling companies there's not a lot of honest stuff about it right and I've had friends who gamble on sports or who are friends with the people who own DraftKings and FanDuel or whatever, whose opinion about the industry has changed because of the podcast.

So that I've noticed.

And I was just at this past weekend, the MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference.

It's like the Moneyball Conference and it's 3,000 nerds in a room and a lot of GMs of sports teams.

And it's been overrun already by DraftKings and FanDuel.

And so there are all these people from DraftKings and FanDuel.

And it felt like I was the stink bomb in the the room.

They didn't have any panels on the subject, but it's clear that this is an uncomfortable.

It's kind of like exposing CTE.

Or smoking and cancer.

People get pissed off because there's a lot of money at stake already.

Oh, yeah.

Those two companies are $30, $40 billion companies.

It is sinister what we're doing to young men right now.

It's not just with sports gambling.

We're creating young male anger at a fantastic rate.

If you were going to set out to create as much young male anger as you could, we're doing a great job.

Let's take away manual labor jobs.

Let's take away the trades.

Let's stop sending them to college.

Let's get that suicide rate up.

Let's tell them they're evil from the minute they walk in the classroom when they're in first grade.

And then let's create an industry that preys on young male overconfidence.

And testosterone and rites of passage and acts of bravery.

Yes.

And that has with unbelievable precision the ability to identify people who don't know what they're doing.

and get them to do as much of it as possible.

Yes.

At the same time, they can, with great precision, identify the very, very, very few people who actually know what they're doing when they're betting on sports and kick them out of the casino.

Yes.

It's diabolical.

Those algorithms, they can go, oh, this guy's too good of a gambler.

He actually is making edge bets, the bets that have positive expected value.

He knows something about golfers that we don't know.

We can't take the bet.

And he's gone.

So they just say you can't do this?

Yeah.

We got a pro gambler who knew what he was doing to give us his bets to place.

And we participated a little bit so it was legal.

And we got booted out of everywhere in a matter of four or five bets, even where we'd lost money because they could identify that the bet even though the bet lost it was a smart bet that's like a bar that's only letting alcoholics in you got to prove you're an alcoholic first literally and then anyone who can manage their drinking you get the fuck out of here that's exactly

you're just going to drink water we don't want you yeah we want fucking addicts in here just be legal well let's go through it can we start i was really fascinated with dan won

He's a great character.

So Dan Juan started studying fans, which no one had really ever studied.

And I think the reigning opinion of people who attended sporting events was a certain type of person.

And through his studies, he found out, well, you know, you'd be surprised to find out that fans, they donate more money.

They're more politically active.

They have higher GPAs.

They're not the group you think they are.

No.

They're socially engaged, but they are not rational.

Right.

So now we get into the kind of Danny Kahneman take on these guys, which is what happens to someone's thinking when they're a fan?

I mean, it's motivated reasoning.

You will systematically think your team is going to do better than you should think or your favorite players.

You got one half your brain in a really irrational space already because you are a fan.

Well, I like when he puts it so simply, like, just the original proposition is come spend two hours with us.

There's a 50% chance that you're going to be very upset at the end of this and it costs a lot of money.

You see the bias right there.

Any rational person would be like, no, those are terrible odds if I'm going to spend a bunch of money.

When you introduce gambling into this mind, it's already a mind that thinks it knows things it doesn't know.

He gets into the superstitions.

And I myself just did this.

I went to a Detroit Lions game, the one they lost in the playoffs, and I hadn't been to a game all year.

And I went and it was like a big deal.

And they lost.

And I'm like, it's because I hugged the coach.

He didn't want to hug me.

I was like, why do I have to hug that fucking guy?

Because he's on TV.

I had this whole story.

I'm like, oh, Detroit hates my guts.

I'm kind of buying it.

It's funny what gets studied by academics and what doesn't.

And as he points out, the fan was just sitting there waiting to be studied.

It's such an important character in American life.

But pinheads like me generally don't like sports.

People were just turning a blind eye to it because they thought it was not worthy of attention.

And for our podcast, it's worthy of attention just to establish the brain space in which this gambling industry is going to enter.

Because they are targeting fans.

That's why it's very important to understand right out of the gates that a fan is doing some irrational thinking.

So, most people who bet are a fan of the thing.

That's surprising to me already.

I would assume most people who get into sports betting aren't fans, so they could be sort of objective.

There are some who do that, then they're kicked off.

Overwhelmingly, they are fans.

Wow.

So, what happened in this country is that back in 1992, Senator Bill Bradley, former New York Nick, had passed a federal law that forbid states from legalizing sports gambling that didn't have it already.

And that grandfathered in Nevada, for example.

Maybe Atlantic City.

No, they didn't.

Oh, they didn't have a sports book there.

Then what happens is because Atlantic City is not grandfather, they don't have it.

New Jersey gets upset they can't do it.

And Chris Christie, governor of New Jersey, launches what seems to be a quixotic and futile lawsuit to try to overturn Bradley's law.

It succeeds in 2018.

In 2018, the Supreme Court says this law is unconstitutional.

It's up to the states.

Any state that wants to legalize sports betting can.

Since then, 38 states have legalized it, which created all kinds of weird natural experiments.

Like Alabama doesn't, Mississippi does, and suicide rates go up in Mississippi and savings rates go down in Mississippi.

You can see

bankruptcy, all that stuff.

My own personal story, I got to have dinner one time with Ted Olson.

So did I.

And I find him to be one of the most impressive people I've ever had a dinner with.

And what's so interesting to me about Ted Olson is he was the lawyer that argued in front of Supreme Court that Citizens United, is that what it was called?

So he has this one thing on his record that us on the left would fucking hate, which he made corporations humans.

And at the restaurant, the bus boy comes over, starts crying, and says, thank you so much.

I got to marry the love of my life because of you.

And then he's on the other side and gets rid of DOMA.

And you're like, fucking, here's complicated life for you.

And so brilliant.

And he's the lawyer Chris Christie hires to argue the Supreme Court case.

Wow.

Right.

I mean, this is the reality of life.

Well, he's just a good lawyer.

But he cared deeply about DOMA.

He felt like that was a huge violation.

DOMA, or did he care about winning a hard case?

He truly said this is an injustice and believed that.

And it was a liberty issue.

And he believes in liberty.

And sometimes liberty falls on your side and liberty falls on the other side.

You make a very good point in asking that question because I had dinner with with him too and we interviewed him.

I really, really liked him.

He's damn likable.

He's run the zone.

He died.

He died.

He died three months ago.

Oh, I did.

And he died right after I had dinner with him, like two weeks after I had dinner with him.

But I asked him, I was just curious, you're the most famous constitutional.

Argue the most cases before the Supreme Court.

What's the strategy here?

You're not just taking anything that comes in the door.

And he would say that one is, I don't want to argue something I don't myself believe, but also, if I think this is a non-starter, it's a waste of time.

So he's also picking cases.

He's looking at the Supreme Court.

He has the Supreme Court wired.

He knows what they think about things.

He's picking the things that he thinks are going to succeed.

And he had an odd premonition that sports gambling would work.

One element of this that I heard in the podcast, which is fascinating, is someone comparing some definition is, is this a game of luck or a game of skill?

Because tournaments are not illegal.

The reason we have two huge corporations in the middle of this business that are not Las Vegas casinos, DraftKings and FanDuel, preceding the legalization of sports gambling, there was a fight to legalize fantasy sports.

And they were two fantasy sports companies.

And fantasy sports looks a lot like gambling.

You're entering competitions and you buy in and you win money.

And they went state to state, these two companies, with very shrewd lobbyists and persuaded a lot of states that this was not gambling because it was a game of skill.

But poker's a game of skill and it's gambling.

Yes, so is Blackjack.

It's a slippery slope.

And where they had success was especially where there weren't Native American tribes to oppose them.

We'll get to California, but that has a lot to do with California, right?

California and Florida are both places where the tribes are very powerful and they had the right to have gambling on the reservation.

They didn't want anybody doing anything like gambling off the reservation.

That's right.

And anyone who lives in California, every time these props come up, you see these are very heavily funded because you have casinos on one side and you have the tribes on the other.

You see more of those commercials than anything else.

That's right.

Okay, so the Supreme Court says states count.

And the states are starved of revenue and they're looking for new sources of revenue.

They want to believe.

And FanDuel and DraftKings lead the charge and and legalize sports gambling in lots of places with state regulation.

But if you interview the state regulators, they basically say they're running circles around us.

The state regulator in Ohio was very funny.

We interviewed him.

He said, my teenage son is getting pizza boxes with free sports bets attached to it from these companies.

And I'm the regulator.

And now I got to go, okay, no more on pizza boxes.

You're whack-a-mole.

Or with your Uber ride, you get a free sports bet.

And so they're enticing young people.

Yeah, I bet it's not a lot on the salads.

The quinoa bull probably doesn't have to be a lot of fun.

That's probably right.

So I live in a state, California, where sports betting has not been legalized.

Nevertheless, the vast majority of the boys in my son's high school class are betting on sports.

So they are both underage and in a state where it's illegal.

He was like, yeah, I can do this.

Here's the app.

You find ways to get around the restrictions and you just do it.

So we actually did an episode where I gave him $5,000 and put a GoPro on his head, basically, or a wire on him and said, let's go see how smart you are.

And we're going to learn why you shouldn't be doing this.

I inoculated him, just like handing him a box of cigarettes and saying, you got to smoke the whole box or a fifth of whiskey.

You don't get to get up until you finish it.

Yeah.

And it was really interesting to see him figure out what was going on.

For me, it's obvious, right?

I was on Wall Street.

I know a lot of people in that world.

I know that if DraftKings are fan duel trying to get me to do something, I shouldn't do it.

Yes, you enter life as I do, which is you're in Las Vegas and you see they've built a glass pyramid in the desert and you must go.

I guess the people gambling don't win, right?

You just have to know

the reality of there's systems at play that are much more complicated than I could ever be as an individual.

And I have to acknowledge that enormous asymmetric.

It's true in all markets.

If you're going to teach a trader, someone who's going to trade anything, one thing, you teach them the idea of adverse selection, that if someone is finding you to trade with you, it's quite likely that person knows something you don't know.

Or to expand on this, if there's a market price for something, there's all this information in that market price.

And a bet, like a money line or a point spread, is a market price on a sporting event.

Unless you know something that the market doesn't know, and you better know why you know something the market doesn't know, because the market knows a lot.

You are a disadvantage that the market knows stuff you don't know.

So, the person on the other side of the bet likely knows something you don't know.

That's your baseline.

So, there are, I know them, professional sports gamblers who know that golfer A is better on this kind of course than the market knows and is going to overperform at this tournament because this kind of course suits him.

Or fraternity brother knows that his fraternity brother, who's on the basketball team, has just agreed to miss the first free throw in the basketball game this weekend.

There is inside information

that is useful.

If you have that, go for it.

I mean, it's not advice.

I'm not divorcing it.

If you have to gamble, if you have to gamble, try to know something.

Yeah, you should know something.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.

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Once this happens and the Supreme Court allows this, you go to Vegas and you talk to some like veteran bookmakers.

What has the impact of this been on Vegas?

And what are the people in Vegas saying?

Vegas was not ready for the change.

FanDuel and DraftKings has this huge advantage over the Las Vegas casinos, who have sports books.

Their business model was more like a tech company, the FanDuel and DraftKings, more like a social media company.

They knew everything about the behavior of their fantasy players.

They knew what their weaknesses were, what vices they could be encouraged to indulge in, who would make what kind of bet.

And the fantasy sports companies knew everything.

That was their business model, knowing about their customers.

That's a new idea for Las Vegas.

I mean, they know the high rollers.

They know it in a very general way, but they don't know how to take someone who is engaged in two-legged parlays and turn them into someone who will make even worse three-legged parlay bets.

It is nefarious.

Yeah.

It's just straight nefarious.

It's like pay-day loan type shit.

Imagine prohibition ends in the 1930s, and there's a liquor company that actually has incredibly detailed information on how to get addicts to drink.

They have your whole history pre-Prohibition.

Yeah, that's right.

They have every drink you ever had.

This guy can't say no to Rye.

That's right.

And they show up on your doorstep and give it to you for free.

And start to get you going again.

Yeah.

Jesus.

Get you off that wagon.

That liquor company has this huge advantage.

And that's the advantage that fan duel and draft kings have.

What about the mules and the runners?

Once I found my character the professional sports gambler rufus peabody is his name he's among the smartest sports gamblers on the planet and he's been making a very good living out of it for 15 years what is a very good living billions of dollars a year millions of dollars oh i thought you said billions

and he works his ass off he really does have edges in the marketplace and it's not easy but part of his problem is that in the old world the vegas casinos would take his bets In the new world, FanDuel and DraftKings won't.

They figure out he knows what he's doing and they don't want the bets.

So, to get his bets down, he has to hire networks of people like his mother.

They're professional people.

Well, he's got to trust them.

He has to trust them, and they have to be smart at disguising the bets so that if you're actually a professional mule, if you're actually placing these bets for Rufus, you do things like make stupid bets occasionally so that they don't.

You got to trick the algorithm.

You live in New York, you bet on the Knicks.

You do that for a little bit so that they classify you as dumb better, and then you come in a bunch of smart bets.

So our producer in the podcast, Lydia Jean Cott, who one, doesn't know the difference between a basketball and football, and two, is such a nervous nellie around money and risk, would never go into a casino.

That's too scary kind of thing.

Brufus gave Lydia Jean 100,000, 150,000.

I can't remember, lots of dollars to place bets with.

And she was running.

The bank shut off her credit cards because they thought someone had stolen them because there was all this money coming through the bank account.

She has been banned from, I think, every sports book in in the country and has been told, you're never welcome here again.

The funny moment was there was one sports book, MGM, so one of the Vegas sports books, took her first bets, the smart bets.

The bets actually lost.

So she lost a bunch of money right away on golf, like tens of thousands of dollars.

They thought, oh, dumb high roller.

They misidentified her.

They weren't good at figuring out those bets were smart.

They wanted to make her VIP.

They got in touch with her and they gave her free tickets to Charlie XCX.

And she calls and she says, this has been the most miserable experience of my life.

I don't want to be doing this.

When can I stop?

Cortisol levels are through the roof.

Now I can go see Charlie at Madison Square Garden.

And she was so excited, but she made the mistake of continuing to place bets.

And the day of the concert, they called and said, we're taking away the bits.

He took the best.

Those bastards.

Those bastards.

Oh, my God.

Those bastards.

Broke her heart.

I should have bought her tickets.

Well, I was just going to say, you should have wealthy.

You should have bought her.

It's so funny.

I should have bought her tickets, but I was thinking, this is such a great end to the story.

I'd just want to leave it at that.

Crazy, they can do that?

I want to hear her tears.

You have your priorities straight.

How does the VIP status work on these online things?

And how is that turbocharging the addiction?

If you get to be a VIP, you have a problem.

I was talking to a bunch of people who manage large sums of money for like university endowments and pension funds and all the rest, people who are giving money to Wall Street people to invest for them.

And they asked me, If you were interviewing a Wall Street investor to decide whether to trust them with your money, what question would you ask?

And I said, I'd ask, have you ever been a VIP at a sports book?

Because if you're a VIP at a sports book, you're exactly the kind of person who should not be investing money.

They have identified you are bad with money.

You are going to be a long-term cash cow for them.

You make a lot of stupid bets.

And yeah, we'll all frame it as, I can afford to lose this.

It's just fun for me.

It's recreational for me to lose a million bucks.

In this pool of VIPs are lots of people who can't afford to lose the money.

And they don't make the distinction.

One of our sports gamblers want to see how badly the big sports books would behave.

He started to behave like an addict and would say things like, I just need another line of credit that my wife doesn't see.

Let me in in the game.

And they would say things like, you can't put this in writing.

Just tell me over the phone and we'll get you the line of credit.

I would say that if you manage to get yourself designated a VIP, it's an embarrassment.

It's not a compliment.

Oof.

Oh, boy.

I want to thank California publicly, and I want to acknowledge my own stupidity as a fan.

So I see this Jake Paul fight with Mike Tyson.

I grew up watching Mike Tyson knock guys out.

I know the one thing that doesn't decline as you get older as a boxer is your knockout punch.

We watched George Foreman drop Michael Moore very late age.

And I'm like, this kid's never fought.

So I see that Mike Tyson knocking him out plays three to one.

I'm like, I have to make this bet.

I sign on to one of these sites.

I can't even remember which.

Go to place this bet.

You can't.

And I'm like, I can't.

It's because I'm in California, but I didn't even know that.

Oh.

So I'm pissed.

Then I go away to Hawaii that weekend.

I can't make a bet in Hawaii.

I don't know what to do.

They have a real problem with gambling in Hawaii.

It's one of the couple of states that have moral objections.

Good for them.

So I go down there and I've got to take some side bets with human beings.

I end up getting $300 on the table.

And of course, he loses and he doesn't knock out Jake Paul.

And I was like, thank God, California didn't take my bet.

I was like, I think I was willing to go like 10 grand on it.

And he goes, yo, I'm a fan of Mike Tyson.

I don't even think about the fact that, okay, Jake Paul's the one with the career that's building.

He knows something I don't know about this fight.

I just get rid of all my rational thinking.

And now I just want to thank California for not taking my bet.

Do you think think the fight was rigged?

What I think

is that there are a couple of slow motion exchanges that are impossible for me to believe because Tyson does his bob.

He's done this a thousand times.

This is muscle memory.

As soon as he ducks and misses that, you're getting the right uppercut.

And you see him start to throw it and then he doesn't throw it.

Oh.

Now, I'm not going to say publicly, I don't want to get sued, but I'm saying that doesn't make any fucking sense to me.

This is a guy that's thrown that exact move hundreds of times with crazy outcome, and he just stops.

And he's in the middle of the movement, and he stops.

And I'm like, that doesn't look right.

Do you think if you said what you were maybe about to say, that you would get sued?

It's just your opinion.

I don't think you could get sued.

I wonder if I say Jake Paul fixed that fight.

In your opinion.

Yeah, what's the difference?

When you say your opinion, it's still slander, isn't it?

No.

I have no information.

Let's try it.

Let's give it a war.

Hold on, that's the way to get your legal advice.

I think if you say allegedly, would you say allegedly after after that?

All I'm saying is, I witnessed some of the fight that

does not make sense to me.

Do you have an opinion on it?

I don't.

Do you watch it?

No.

I'm not a huge boxing guy.

Okay, great.

I don't like seeing people get hit.

I remember when I was a kid, I went to a camp where you were forced to box.

And I remember the first fight I got in and I wailed on some kid.

I hated it.

Like, I just stop.

I don't want to beat him up.

And then in the second fight, someone got in and wailed on me.

I thought, I like this even less.

Exactly.

So where is the fun here?

Like, there's a lose-lose.

Where is the fun here?

Okay, so how is California?

I guess we're six, seven years into this experiment.

You already mentioned Alabama and Mississippi, but is California experiencing less of some of the fallout from this as other places?

I don't know.

The tribes have succeeded in preventing gambling from being legalized.

But as I say, my son, 17 years old, and he's on the apps and he's gambling.

Well, just paint me a little bit of a picture of how bad it is.

And then I want to go into what you taught your son and what we can maybe advise other people that are listening to adhere to.

Young men who take to sports gambling become addicts at a rate of about 8%.

Charlie Baker, former governor of Massachusetts' new head of the NCAA,

when he became head of the NCAA, he went and did a kind of listening tour of colleges because he wanted to see what was going on in sports on campuses.

And he thought he was going to find one thing and he found another.

He found an epidemic of athletes being harassed by their fellow students, gamblers.

And the harassment was like death threats.

You missed this free free throw or you're dead or just tell me now something that I know that I can bet on it was so bad that he did a survey and found that 60% of the boys on college campuses were sports gambling I think that is probably

missing what is an even bigger story which is I don't think there's a high school in America where there isn't basically a sports gambling ring.

It's part of being a boy.

It's just become what you do.

Of course, for most people, it's not going to have much effect.

And it'll be 92%.

Yeah, but it's a machine for creating lots and lots of addicts.

And it's a particularly cruel addiction.

We interviewed someone with a gambling addiction.

Yeah, the famous chef.

And what was illuminating to me as an addict was I've never done an eight ball of Coke, felt like shit, and thought, oh, I could do another eight ball of Coke and that would get me out of this.

It has the most unique trap, this addiction, which is like there's the illusion of getting even and then exiting.

So everyone has a fairy tale.

I just want to fucking get even and then I'll stop.

There's no getting even in Coke.

Thank God.

Because maybe I'd still be trapped there.

It leads you to oblivion.

It leads you to the end.

It leads you to ruin.

And I kind of thought one way that reform is going to happen is going to be some high-profile person's child.

Yeah, we're going to wait till that's happened in England.

I don't want to tell you who it is, but I do know a person who's very prominent there whose son has just not committed suicide, but close, who's bankrupted himself.

And the dad realizing this is outrageous and is going to work politically to constrain the gambling industry.

In the UK and Australia, there are things to learn from them.

They're way ahead of us.

And they're much less prone to making stupid bets.

It's interesting.

We are uniquely stupid.

We're not inoculated.

It's like smallpox just hit us.

And I might be wrong about this.

Maybe this is all just going to go away and this new vice will be assimilated into the culture and we'll all be fine.

But I do think it's more likely that we're going to be living with an epidemic.

It's silent.

You don't see it.

With drug addicts, you see them.

This, just someone on his phone doing stuff.

You've got a casino in your pocket.

So I think we're going to wake up and go, what have we done here to a half generation of young men?

The question is like, what do you do then?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have a child.

What do you do?

It's a question I think a lot of parents ask themselves about a lot of things.

How do I protect my child from this thing?

He's out there in a predatory environment.

It's essentially a predatory business.

As was the mortgage thing.

As was the mortgage thing, but my child was not going to buy credit to false swaps.

No, but just I remember my initial reaction to the 08 meltdown was like, all these people that couldn't afford these houses went and bought these fucking houses because they believed it was going to go up 20% a year.

And I blamed them.

And then I learned how they were approached to refinance, how they were encouraged to buy a house outside of the thing.

I go, oh, no, no, this was a calculated, coordinated effort to get all these people.

They abused vulnerable people as they always do.

That's right.

I actually do think that if you have a boy, that you need to have not just the sex talk, you have to have the gambling talk.

So, yeah, what did you do with your son?

Walker, who is a senior in high school.

And a Texas Ranger.

Famously a Texas Ranger.

Born in Oakland A.

But I said first, you hear this thing, sports gambling.

He goes, yeah, we're all doing it.

He was not yet, but all of his friends.

I went and taught his English class and there were like 30 kids there.

And he asked during the class, can you raise your hand if you're gambling on sports?

All but one of the boys.

None of the girls.

So, but he said, you're like, yeah, I'm tempted.

I think I know some things here, especially with hoops.

He's a hoops player.

He knows about the Golden State Warriors.

So I said, here, I'm going to give you $5,000 and you're going to wear a wire and we're going to just follow you.

I'm going to stay out of it.

I'm not going to parent you.

The producers may a little bit, but you're going to just explain why you're doing what you're doing and you can keep the winnings.

What I thought was going to happen is he was going to vaporize the $5,000 and it was going to be humiliating.

And the humiliation would be the antidote.

He would learn how little he knew and that the things he thought he knew, he didn't know, and how complicated this market was.

And how this market was trying to get him to do stuff he shouldn't do.

Yeah.

That's not what happened.

oh no

he drank the fifth of whiskey he was like that's great let's do this again tomorrow he made a million dollars he didn't throw up he didn't get hung over i don't want to ruin the episode for the listener the episode it turned out so beautifully what actually did happen he got the lesson and he got the money and how that happened i would rather people just listen to that yeah

yeah

i'm really delighted you took this on yeah but now you do have a book coming out i do who is government the untold story of public service What is this about?

I got really interested in the federal government during Trump won.

I thought it was just comic material.

Trump had fired his whole transition team the day after the election, 500 and something people.

There were a thousand people inside the Obama administration who had spent six months preparing sort of a course on how the federal government works for whoever won.

And Trump said the course is irrelevant.

He literally said, I can learn everything I need to know in two hours.

That's quite a feat.

Very smart man.

Beautiful mind.

He's a beautiful mind.

But I thought this is comic material.

I'll go get the briefings.

Starting with how the nuclear weapons are run, the people who were going to give that briefing, they couldn't give me all the classified stuff, but they were kind of grateful.

It was like, we worked so hard.

We wanted someone to read this.

Could someone just hear this?

But the reception, it was called The Fifth Risk, to that book was so positive that I thought I might want to do more of this if it proves useful.

Another thing happened was at the very end of the book, I did one deep dive into the life of a single civil servant.

And the story was literature.

The material was so good.

I thought I should have done more of that.

So a year and a bit ago, I was on a hiking trail with the then opinion editor of the Washington Post, David Shipley.

And I said, you know what, we should do?

I can't do it.

It's too complicated an institution.

The government is huge.

It's massive.

They're 2.3 million employees.

I said, let me go hire six writers I love, people who just I know make everything fun on the page.

I, along with the six of them, will parachute into the government.

Everybody can find their story.

And you can run it as a series running into the election, just to remind everybody what these people do.

And the series was called Who is Government.

The pieces were so good and things you just wouldn't expect.

I give you one that's not mine.

Casey Sepp, New Yorker writer, found a character in the Veterans Administration named Ron Walters.

No one's ever heard of him.

No one would have ever heard of him, who took over the National Cemeteries 20 years ago.

And the National Cemeteries is where we bury our veterans.

And when he took it over, they had a kind of mediocre customer satisfaction.

The families of the people who were burying their dead had mixed feelings about how the operation was run.

There's now at the University of Michigan that measures consumer satisfaction across our society, like it's not just private companies, but also government agencies.

And so you can find out how the Department of Agriculture is doing, but you can also find out how Amazon and FedEx is doing.

Ron Walters turned this enterprise into the enterprise with the highest customer satisfaction.

in the entire country.

And you think about why do we have a country?

What are the things the country does?

Mostly we're better off in a country because it helps keep us safe, but it preserves certain values.

And if we don't honor our war dead, it's ugly.

And that this man has come in and honored the war dead.

Quite moving.

And not asked for a dollar more than like his civil service pay and not ask for anybody to write an article about him.

He was very wary.

It's story after story like this.

And the idea of some know-nothing rolling in with a chainsaw and saying, you're all.

waste, fraud, and abuse when some of these people are the best among us.

And have taken 20 years of their life to make their whole thing.

It's obscene.

So it turns out that the book is very timely.

I wrote the last piece of it after the election, but all of it mostly was written last June.

And it's Dave Eggers and Kamal Bell and John Lanchester

and Casey Sepp and Sarah Vowell.

You've seen the Incredibles.

She was the voice of Violet in the Incredibles.

She's a wonderful historian too.

And Geraldine Brooks, the Australian novelist.

Really gifted writers.

Each piece is so different from the next.

That's fun.

It's a way to have a conversation about this.

Yeah.

Okay, great.

So listen to Against the Rules, but then also get Who is Government, The Untold Story of Public Service.

Michael Lewis, you're very, very charming and interesting.

I love being with you.

I've really enjoyed having you.

I really enjoyed it.

Hi there, this is Hermione Hermium.

If you like that, you're going to love the fact check.

Miss Monica.

I am launching a competing religion to Quakerism.

Oh, to Quakerism.

And I'm using spices too.

Dax, why don't you at least do herbs?

I'm going to use spices too

to confuse people.

Okay, and

what are your spices?

Shining.

Prancing.

Okay.

Intriguing.

That's bad.

Captivating.

Okay.

Energizing.

Oh, my God.

Sprinkling.

Could also be sparkling.

Okay.

This is like an extrovert's religion.

Yeah, this isn't, this is about, this is so outward.

This is great.

And it's so performative.

Shining, prancing, intriguing, captivating.

This is a way of life.

Intriguing is, is not good.

Yeah.

Well, if you're using it specifically in the SLA way.

Yeah, that's what it is.

No, things that are intriguing aren't inherently...

It's just been used in that.

Things that are intriguing, but you're saying these as verbs.

But you can be intriguing in many ways other than romantic or sesual.

Okay.

Mine's also easier to memorize, right?

Because you probably already have mine memorized, and you probably don't off the top of your dome have the original spices memorized.

I think I do.

Stewardship, service.

Oh, you're good.

Okay, you're just kind of

making a mess of it now.

Okay.

What?

That's true.

But you got to go S-P-I-C-E.

Well, no, no, I don't.

Okay.

God.

You and your rules.

Service.

Service.

Stewardship.

Stewardship.

Community.

Um,

peace.

Oh, good job.

Um, what's E and I?

Integrity.

Integrity was I.

It was.

Yes.

How many have I done?

You need one more.

You need an E.

Equity.

Equality.

I did it.

Good job.

Now yours, shining, prancing, spit takes.

No, no, that was Pete.

What?

Okay.

Shining, prancing, intriguing, celebration, captivating, captivating,

Egg on your face.

Energizing.

Energizing.

And sparkles.

Sprinkling.

Oh, sprinkling.

Okay, so mine's not easier to remember.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, that's cool.

Your cult, you're going to have that.

Okay, do you want to talk about, because you were waiting patiently for me to listen to the Malcolm Gladwell episode called Rogan Intervention?

Joe Rogan Intervention.

It's on, it's revisionist history.

Uh-huh.

And the new season's great so so far.

There's also a couple really good episodes about George Floyd.

Oh, an RFK or whatever.

Yeah.

There's an episode before the Joe Rogan intervention about that called the RFK Jr.

problem

that leads sort of into the Joe Rogan intervention.

And

God, that Malcolm Gladwell.

What a gift he has.

He's so good.

What an incredible episode.

I thought, yes.

Okay.

So the episode is

starts off kind of calling out Joe Rogan a little bit about his interview with RFK Jr.

and not really, and like the difference between an interview and a conversation.

And it really just deep dives into what is a good interview.

Versus a conversation between friends, yeah.

Interviewing is a real skill.

It is different from conversation.

And it is like that, yeah, they play a clip where Malcolm is being interviewed by Michael Gervais Gervais

and Malcolm starts crying talking about his dad.

Yeah.

But what led there was so nothing.

Like it was, it was very simple.

It was,

and I was like, yeah, it's

complicated and it's simple, getting like real emotion out of someone.

So there's this string of back and forth where RFK, RFK Jr., he claims that the Spanish flu, he's got three whammies in a row, Spanish flu,

that people didn't die from the virus, that in fact they died from this bacterial infection.

And that

Fauci signs off on it.

That Fauci agrees with him, this conclusion, and then that what the Spanish flu really was, was a backfiring of a vaccine.

And so, yeah, Joe's like, he is skeptical at first.

He's like, you know, according to what and what's the documentation?

And he finds the article from Fauci.

Then there's some like, you know, at least Malcolm's conclusion is that neither of them really understood the difference between a primary and a secondary cause of death.

So, you know, what's he to do if he doesn't know that?

Right.

Right.

Like an average person could misread that conclusion.

And then when he gets into the vaccine thing, now he's just, you know, now you're in this weird position where this guy's saying there are articles, but you don't have them.

And I just wonder, I was trying to just, I was trying to delineate how ours is different.

I guess really the only difference is the people we have on are truly experts in the field they're talking about.

But likewise, we can only push back so much because it's not our field.

Well, right.

But I guess if we're going to have someone controversial on,

which we don't do that often, actually, but if we do, like before we had Andrew on, there was a conversation we had that was like, if we're going to have him on, we're going to have to have all the conversations and push back.

So to me, it's that.

It's like, you

can't have someone like that on who's extremely controversial and says all kinds of stuff and not be prepared to

really push back.

Challenge

the statement that that was a vaccine that killed 100 million people.

Right.

Yeah, of course, I'm in bed.

Like,

that's one of the few issues I'm pretty vocal about.

You know, I'm very pro-vaccine.

Although I have a little bit I've had, I understood people who didn't want the COVID vaccine more than maybe someone who's so pro-vaccine that I am was.

I understand it's your body, and you ultimately get to decide what you put in your body.

That part, that piece of it, I totally get.

But I was, I got more.

I want to hear your conclusions because I, and maybe this is a bad habit of mine.

I keep trying to zoom out and figure out what's really going on.

You know, like that's my great curiosity.

You've got like two intelligent people,

Joe and RFK.

They're not dumb dumbs, either of them.

They're both intelligent people.

And then you wonder,

why is it, does that story appeal to them?

That there's like, there's been a conspiracy, it's vaccines, that's the Spanish flu is really vaccines.

Why are two intelligent people drawn to that conclusion?

Well, I don't know if Joe is.

I don't know if that's yeah, I don't know either.

He seemed skeptical in his defense while he was hearing it.

Yeah, I don't know what he thinks, but RFK Jr.

Well, must believe it.

I mean, I yeah, he's sincere about it.

Yeah, so.

So then I just, I try to figure out what's going on under it

and even broader, why is it so appealing to people?

Like a vast, you know, like a very large amount of people are drawn to that.

And my conclusion is:

I think if you

feel very left out and excluded, that like there's this group of people in the country that are living this great life

and you feel excluded by that, it's almost like you feel like they have some secret shit.

Like they have some secret.

Why are they succeeding at this level and enjoying all of this prosperity and opportunity.

And I'm not,

they're not more valuable than me.

They're not smarter than me.

There must be some kind of conspiracy just in general.

You know what I'm saying?

Like there's some, there must be something dirty going on that all these people have all this shit and then all these other people don't.

But it's not, those aren't the people, it's not poor people who are anti-vaccine.

In fact, it's mostly very, very privileged people who are anti-vaccine.

Well, that is what there is.

Well, there's two.

I think there's two really big buckets.

There's the

Whole Foods,

super liberal, probably

elite group.

And then there was the

fuck no, that's got trackers in it.

That's,

you know, Biden trying to control me.

That's like the anti Bill Gates faction.

So I think there is two really big factions.

Yeah, but I tend to think the people who, I mean, just in my experience, the people who are the most vocal and leading the charge are not

poor people.

When you have so much privilege and access to the Brazil nut that might have, that's, you know, $14 per nut that might have this special benefit, like they want to go that route.

And then that's natural and all of these things.

But I think most people believe doctors.

They like believe the system, right?

That doctors pretty much know what they're doing, that when the baby is born, it needs these things and they're just going to go do these things.

And they don't

have to question every single thing that comes in also because they don't have time or energy to question it.

They're living their lives.

Well, yeah.

I think the last time I looked, like 83% of the country had gotten at least the first round of the vaccine for COVID.

So despite whatever you were hearing and the pushback, the vast, vast majority of the people did.

So yeah, I agree.

Most people just do.

Most people are vaccinated.

Thank God.

Most, you know, but I'm, I'm, um,

I get just curious why that thing that sounds pretty far-fetched to me doesn't sound far-fetched to an intelligent person.

And I guess my conclusion is if you already think the system's rigged, like if you're already suspicious that there's some kind of weird unfairness happening, happening.

I have to imagine you're more open to

that.

Yeah.

If your kind of baseline assumption is like something crooked's going on.

I know, but

I don't think that's the majority of those people.

I really don't.

I mean,

definitely not RFK.

He's a Kennedy.

But he's the black sheep Kennedy.

Like, that's how I set him in that category.

It's like the other Kennedys

had a much different trajectory than him.

Trajectory, but not, he was privileged.

So, fully.

And like, but even like a privileged person could feel like the least privileged among the groups.

I don't know.

Yeah, but that to me is like so

kind of part of, I guess, sort of this bigger thing, right?

Like you're, it's so, you're so privileged and insular that you think you have it bad.

Yeah.

Like, look, and then that, it's also, look, if he's just a random person on earth, I don't care, right?

Yeah.

But he's in charge.

Well, now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not at the the time of that conversation i think when he had rfk jr on

i think was during the election i don't know i don't know do we know rob can you check june 2024

june 2024

he was running for president at that time right right okay yes exactly he was a nominee okay yeah and so he's saying like this is my platform yeah yeah and then there's a bigger then there's a really fun and i wonder where we both land on it there's the bigger issue of like this spectrum between journalists and comedians with podcasts

and then their obligations as such, right?

Yeah.

Like a journalist has a whole code of ethics and vetting sources and all this kind of stuff.

Yes.

And there's tons of conspiracy theory podcasts.

You know, there's nuts.

No one gives a shit.

What people are really worried about is that he has a huge audience.

Yes, of course.

Yeah.

So it's just interesting.

It's like that's a very relevant variable and how upset someone is that there's just a comedian talking about conspiracy theories.

But he's not a, he's, his podcast isn't a comedy podcast.

He's a comedian.

No, yeah, I'm just saying he's a comedian.

He's not a journalist.

Correct.

He's not a politician or a doctor.

But his show is a show where ideas are explored.

It's not, you know, a laugh riot.

I mean, I'm sure there are funny episodes or whatever, but it is there to explore ideas.

Maybe he thinks he is being responsible with it.

Well, I assume he does because I think he's a principled

guy with integrity.

And he just happens those.

So I believe the experts we have on and he believes the experts he has on.

Well,

I don't know though.

And then

we wouldn't have him on

to come talk about anti-germ theory.

Yeah, because I don't believe in exactly.

But I don't think, I don't know that Joe Rogan does.

I think he is like, come talk about your thing.

Let's, let's talk about it.

But then he himself isn't equipped to really have that conversation with this person who's powerful.

You know, in the episode before when they're talking about RFK, you know, he, he doesn't believe in Louis Pasteur's germ theory.

He doesn't believe that.

He believes in the opposite thing.

And

so does Woody Harrelson.

Like they're and so yes, it's not to me, it's, it's like, see, I think it'd be easy and convenient if you could write the people off as dumb, but I don't think you can do that.

So then the question is, how do smart people

have the courage to go against 99.9% of

biologists who think a certain thing?

I think it's courage.

I think it is a

a long time of not having your feet on the ground, that you're able to explore all these

options for life and the world and the way it works and who's in charge and who's not in charge.

I do think it's like checking yourself on how, quote, normal your life is in comparison.

I think most of these peoples aren't.

Yeah, I just think there's a baseline distrust of

systems.

The government, healthcare, doctors, universities, like all of these institutions.

It's just, it's becoming more and more.

Yeah, it's hard to know chicken or the egg where there are that many people and now there's just an outlet.

I don't know.

You know, I'm not,

I don't know.

Well, we do know because measles is back now.

It wasn't.

You know, people are now, these things are coming back that were gone.

There's that whole episode about the rotavirus and the

the vaccine for that, which they've like, you know, RFK and them have said is bad, and it is like single-handedly saved to millions of more children

from diarrhea, dying of diarrhea than any other vaccine.

It's so reckless, it is, it's just reckless.

Yeah, but, anyways, I remain really curious: like, what is why, yeah, as a smart person, how do they look at that?

Look at like the tens of millions of kids just in India that have been saved from the Rotovax.

Yeah, I want to like

understand how that gets shoved aside in your 13 cases of maybe not even verifiable

side effects takes charge over tens of millions of people.

I know.

And

I mean, I think there's got to be something interesting there.

There also might be a part

of a lot of humans that want, that, that want to be

the exception, you know, it's almost like the opposite side of the coin to like exceptionalism.

Like I'm different

from everyone else.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

It is, it is a kind of a display of courage.

You know, it is, um, I am not afraid to go against the grain and to march to the beat of my own drum and all these other, you know, individual tropes that we love.

Um,

but great episode.

Most importantly, no matter how you fall on it, I think, like my

headline of that episode to you, my original feedback was, Malcolm's genius for the way he unravels a story is so proprietary and unique and stimulating.

Yeah, it's just so

the way he flips, it's like he flips channels back and forth to different stories, and then the way he weaves them ultimately together is

so impressive.

Great show,

revisionist history.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert

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Okay, let's see here.

We talk art, art with Michael.

Let's talk about some art.

We're going to do from Wikipedia.

Let's talk about art, baby.

The list of most expensive paintings.

Okay, according to Wikipedia.

The Salvador Mundi

is the most expensive.

$450 million.

Adjusted $577.

But this is the one that he talks about that a lot of people say, a lot of people discredit.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

That's a very unimpressive painting to me.

It's Da Vinci.

I mean, we love Da Vinci, but I'm not impressed.

That doesn't say 570 million to me.

1500, though.

That's when it was painted?

Yeah.

1500.

Yeah, attribution is pretty disputed.

Then we have interchange.

Simona Lisa, obviously, we just need to say it's never been sold.

Yeah, yeah, these are paintings sold.

Yeah, that would be billions of dollars.

Probably, yeah, I assume.

Yes, interchange is a cooning.

Ooh.

Okay, I like that's more my speed, Monica.

Yeah, it's nice.

It's nice.

It was 300 million adjusted $398.

That was sold by the David Geffen Foundation.

It still blows my mind.

There's objects that are worth a half a billion dollars.

I know.

Well, there are cars.

I think the most expensive car is about $75 million for a GTO.

The third is a Cezanne, the card players.

That was $250 adjusted $349.

I like it.

It's like two cowboys.

I like that one.

Yeah, they're about to shoot each other.

That's my story.

I don't think so.

I think they're playing cards.

One of them's always cheating.

There's always a cheat in these cowboy card games.

Why are they cowboys?

Well, the guy's got a cowboy hat on.

He's wearing like an Abe Lincoln hat.

It's kind of a mix between a stovepop, stovepipe, and a

stovestop stuffing.

Okay, then we have

Paul Gaugan.

Gaugen called

Gauguin.

Is it Gauguin?

Yeah.

Okay, Gaugain.

Nafe fat ipiopo

translates to when will you marry?

Okay, I like that one.

I like her dress.

210, adjusted 270.

Her feet are a little mangled like mine.

Right.

She has a lot of toe.

Have I told you this that I'm now describing my foot as a comb over?

What?

Because the long toe has now moved over to fill the gap of the baby toe.

Oh, wow.

So it looks like Trump's hair now.

Yeah.

my God.

Fucking comb over on my feet.

Oh, wow.

That may come up on Kimmel tonight, but it happened here first.

We tend to talk about my feet a lot.

Yeah, that's true.

That's true.

Yeah, you're doing Kimmel tonight, and I'm going to Beyonce tonight.

What a night.

Star-studded night.

What a night.

Jackson Pollock is next.

Number 17.

I think that's Jackson Polak.

Incorrect.

Number 17A, 200 million, adjusted 265.

Oh, 200 mil.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I'm allowed to say Polak.

Did you know that?

Because I'm 12.5% Polak.

Okay.

Because my kids are 25% Polak.

It's like the Natalie.

Yep.

The no.

Then we have Gustav Klimpt,

Washer Schlangen, too.

That's a hundred men.

What a name.

Washer Schlangen.

Oh, wow.

This is like.

That's a fever dream.

Women, naked women, two naked women.

Oh, I see a breast.

I see butt cheeks.

But they have long hair.

Yeah.

This is cool.

Flowers in between them.

They're like maybe on a.

Oh, there's, there's like four women in that photo or in that painting.

Where's the other two?

You can see that if you look at the faces, top, middle, then to the right, we've got two broads.

And then on the bottom, we've got a broad.

Wow, yeah.

This guy was having a hell of an afternoon.

This was fun.

Well, I want this one because

I like art of women.

You do.

that's your niche so i wonder if i can buy it it was sold for 183.8 million adjusted 248 so i just got to save up quarter bill mark rothko is next number six

violet green and red now this is pretty much just squares yeah good for him for being so successful with the squares i do like it though it's pleasing i do too i do too beats the hell out of that da vinci salad or moon

oh my god have so much

respect that isn't worth 500 bucks

you're me today i don't even trust the providence of that well we don't people don't yeah count me in that group next is a rembrandt um pendant portraits of meritin suman

and upjin koop

all the people in these rembrandt photos look like they have um

syphilis like their faces are red and weird like look at her nose is red as hell.

What do you mean?

You're the least observant person I know.

I love this.

You can't see her red.

I mean, look at her face.

If I'm not not, I'm staring at it.

I don't see it as bright red, like a clown nose.

Oh, I do.

It's like it's going to fall off.

And then the guy on the left, he's like, he's suspiciously rosy cheeked too.

But that's very, like, that's very close to real-life skin.

I think all these people were like, they had all kinds of parasites and skin.

I think people looked terrible back then, don't you think?

Max,

you can wash your face or brush your teeth.

Yeah, but white people's skin is disgusting.

No, is pink.

Your skin is pink.

I don't have blotches of blood on my face.

What are you talking about?

Look at her nose.

Her nose is just shaded.

No, no, she's got like a huge sore on her nose.

All these people look like they have scabies or.

Oh my, you're like so.

Is this because you're nervous about Kimmel?

You're being so sad.

I'm lashing out at these people from the past.

Oh my God, you're right.

Oh,

geez.

I'm impressed you admitted that.

Yeah, she has a fucking, this woman will be dead within a month.

No, no, you're overreacting.

She's dying of someone.

First off, you're overreacting.

Is it that she was blowing her nose so much?

See, this is why you shouldn't blow your nose a lot.

She's not.

She does have a red, this area of her nose, this nostril

is red.

She blew her nose.

She had a cold.

No, she has a real, like a bubonic plague.

Black death is on her nose.

You know what?

Tell me.

And this chap on the left, he's like 18.

He's going to die within the month as well.

Oh, my God.

You need to stop.

These people are long gone, Monica.

You are not being respectful of the dead or the living.

No, or the painted.

Also, don't fuck sheep.

If you're in the audience.

What?

What?

That's how humans got syphilis.

Fucking sheep.

This sounds like RFK.

No, look that up.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Rob, can you look it up?

I can't type that into my browser.

I think the reason I couldn't see it

at first, we're looking, for people who are listening, we are looking on the big TV screen at these pictures, and I'm not wearing my glasses.

Right.

And I think that makes me a better person.

I know.

I really do.

Because now look.

we have a history of this then i zoom we were watching an interview with somebody one time and their tongue was so big

and you thought i was a bad person for observing that their tongue didn't fit in their mouth i thought it was a little i didn't you guys were being mean listen i didn't say like

this person was a jerk or anything it was just like wow they really have to wrestle their tongue and you made some jokes What were the jokes?

I don't remember any jokes.

Yeah, about this person's tongue being very big.

I was just observing

some you think you could ever observe something and not make a joke about it?

I'm not sure.

Yeah.

There's no scientific evidence to support the claim that syphilis originated from sheep.

Thank you so much for saying

that it was likely was brought to Europe by Columbus's crew.

Columbus, they were sheep fuckers.

Don't say that.

Yeah, that part's true.

This is how conspiracies start.

Well, no, but you're kind of like, this could all seem like pageantry so that we could demonstrate we're above that because you just pushed back.

Then we looked it up.

Then turns out I'm wrong.

Yeah.

It's not from fucking sheep.

Continue on.

Okay.

Anyway, I just think it's best if none of us wore glasses.

Okay, I think that's all for the paintings.

Okay, great.

There's a lot of money out there.

Okay, first cousin once removed.

Someone who's related to you as a first cousin, but is in a different generation.

Specifically, they are the child of your first cousin or your parents' first cousin.

Think of it as a first cousin who is a generation removed from you.

So that's a tricky one for me because I have Mandy and Kelly who would be,

they'd fall under this category.

I thought they were your cousins.

They are, but they're my dad's cousins' children.

But

here's what makes it tricky.

I'm going to tell you why it's complicated.

There's only two bloodlines because my grandpa's brother married my grandma's sister and had

Mandy and Kelly's mom.

Oh.

So they're like double first cousins, I think is what they called themselves.

And so because of that proximity, I'm actually not, I'm like, it's same blood level as would be if it were my brother, you know,

my dad's brothers.

They were your dad's cousins' kids.

Yeah.

Your first cousin once removed is supposed to be your dad's cousins.

But that's interesting, the two bloodlines thing, isn't it?

Yeah, that is.

Yeah.

Okay, who is Jacob Rothschild?

Big business guy.

Nathaniel Charles Jacob Rothschild, 4th Baron Rothschild,

was a British hereditary peer investment banker and member of the Rothschild banking family.

Rothschild is a hard one.

I can see you trying to not bring it up over there.

Rothschild?

Rothschild?

Rothschild.

I was thinking, I wasn't trying to not bring it up.

I was just thinking about that the Rothschilds are the center of many, many age-old conspiracies.

And then I was thinking, oh, this is related to what I was saying earlier.

Because I think when people acquire great wealth, they amass great wealth,

all of a sudden

they're somehow running the world and they're cheating, you know?

So like the Rothschilds are the center of all this, that book I read, The Behold the Pale Horse.

They're kind of like they're crucial players in the Illuminati theory.

Like they themselves believe it or people believe it about them.

People think the Rothschilds have run the world order.

Roths.

Childs.

Rothschild.

child.

See?

Johns Hopkins.

It is a Johns Hopkins situation.

This is a regular old Johns Hopkins right here.

Okay.

The book Careless People is by Sarah Wynn William.

Are people from New Orleans called New Orleanans?

Yes.

Assassinations due to J.D.

Salinger's book.

Oh, here we go.

Many murder cases throughout its time.

Mark David Chapman, who had an obsession with the book, murdered John Lennon.

Also, John Hinkley, who attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan.

Got shot.

Was thought to be obsessed with the books as well.

There are many other people whose murders or attempted murders are thought to be connected to the catcher-in-the-wry, such as Lee Harvey Oswald's assassination of JFK, and Robert John Bardo, the man who killed Rebecca Schaefer.

It says Holden Caulfield might have some criminal potential as well, having similar traits of killers.

Yeah,

that's my favorite book.

Because you're a killer.

Because I like to kill people.

And I do think it captures very well a feeling of not fitting in or feeling different, different in a way that's going to prevent you from integrating the way everyone else seems to be integrating.

Yeah.

And I think that's

that's on the ladder to that.

Yeah.

It's a slippery slope.

Yeah.

To incel.

Like a soft landing is punk rock music, but you could, you could further, you could follow it further.

Yeah.

I think a lot of these people

in basements who are, what are they called?

Like incels?

Yeah, I said incels, but something else um basement dwellers no rat people chosen chodes no it's called

jesus

god

just go on kimmel already get this over with

oh it's called something like abstinent like not chosen abstinence but something like that celibate no what if i became an incel because i started doing research involuntary celibates?

Yeah,

that's it, I think.

Involuntary celibacy.

I think is just where the term incel comes from.

Just like the long.

Oh, that's what it comes from.

I never knew that.

It's an acronym-ish.

It's actually a portmanteau.

It's what?

A portmanteau.

That's what it means when you take two parts of two words and put them together.

A portmanteau?

Yeah, you ever heard that?

Oh, my God.

A portmanteau.

Natalie Portman, too.

That's like if Natalie Portman had a Fu Manchu, you would call the Natalie Portman 2.

Heterosexual men who blame women in society for their lack of romantic success.

That's not going to get it done, boys.

I wouldn't say it's the best route.

No, no.

Yeah.

I mean, could you make yourself any

less appealing?

I know.

That's the irony of the whole thing.

It's the double-edged sword that people can come together on the internet and find each other in a great way,

and then they can find each other in a terrible way.

Because these dudes,

there were always dudes that couldn't get laid in their basement.

Yeah.

In their mom's basement.

They were mainly watching TV.

Right, but they couldn't like commiserate and feel bad for themselves and become victims.

Those other guys who were in the basement just watching TV, now they seem hot.

Yeah.

Just the lazy guys.

Yeah.

Do you think sex robots will cure this?

No.

Like if all these incels get a a really good sex robot, um, no, will they be not be so hostile anymore?

No, because they'll still be there.

They still want the power over women.

Like, they don't want women to be more powerful than them.

And so, the sex robot isn't going to fix that.

Well, the sex robot won't be more powerful than them.

They'll be in charge.

I know, but they'll still be real women in the world.

Yeah.

I just wonder if it's like

if you video game it,

they'll be distracted.

I mean, they can masturbate these.

It's not like.

They want to move their hips and hump that's that's a primal desire they do on the couch yeah they just hump their couch yeah i'm watching a show where the woman just uh masturbated by humping a big pillow yeah and i just got kind of envious of female anatomy sure because i i i couldn't hump a pillow to completion i bet there is something you could put it in and yeah i just

pillows everywhere like you check into a hotel room and if you can just hump a pillow that's great but But why do you think that's better than jacking yourself up?

Because it's somebody else.

You're not exactly you're not providing the friction.

I see.

There's no like

dual signals going on.

Like you're trying to ignore your hand.

Yeah.

I'm surprised they haven't invented like a mechanical hand.

They have.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think it's called a flushlight.

Oh, a flushlight.

Yeah.

That's a.

I've thought about it.

Oh, yeah.

That's.

I've thought about it.

And you know what has prevented me from ever trying one?

The cleanup.

Ew.

I don't want to deal with the machine that I'm humping.

Also, don't you have to hold the flashlight?

Presumably, yeah, yeah.

I think the hand, like it just a mannequin hand, yeah.

You, you can, like, connect it to the wall.

Oh, well, I got a suction cup.

No, like, it's plug-in, but it's a long cord.

So, if you're in bed,

you don't have to touch it.

I tried to hump numerous times the toilet paper roll,

which was always a it never worked but it always called to me because it was a circle okay all right i don't think i want to know anymore okay

you've got a boundary yeah casey sepp's book on harper lee furious hours murder fraud in the last trial of harperly okay the tiger lady

he mentioned this tiger lady he said tiger lady or lion lady who got all that plastic surgery.

Do you remember her?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, it was tiger lady, Jocelyn Wildenstein.

I wonder how much money that costs.

Well, she had a high-profile divorce from billionaire art dealer.

Ding, ding, ding.

Oh, my God.

And businessman Alec Wildenstein, cat-like facial appearance.

Oh, she passed away in December.

She went through all nine lives.

Wow.

She has two children.

Oh, okay.

Now I'm sorry.

That was a pretty good one.

Okay, let's see if it says here.

Oh my God, her yearly telephone bill was $60,000 and food and wine cost $547,000.

This is in the like settlement, divorce settlement?

I guess.

She received $2.5 billion in the divorce settlement.

Oh my Lord.

Yeah.

That's outrageous.

Yeah.

She could own almost all those.

And then she went bankrupt.

She went bankrupt.

How the fuck did she lose 2.5 bill?

She had a lot of...

Well, that's not in surgery.

Well, some of it is.

Maybe a mill.

Yeah.

Oh, three apartments in Trump Tower

were repossessed in 2020.

Oh, my God.

She ran through $2.5 billion.

I mean, I know I'm surprised a woman who turned herself into a cat also wasn't great with money, but it still shocks me to lose that much money.

Yeah, she was Swiss.

I'm glad she's Swiss.

They need something.

You never hear anything bad about the Swiss.

They're always been neutral.

They've got great chocolate and skiing,

great banking.

Yeah.

We need something on them, and this is a start.

It's true.

Oh, okay.

Did Ted Olson argue the most cases in front of the Supreme Court?

So there's like a list of from

lone dissent of U.S.

Supreme Court top advocates.

Number one is Lawrence G.

Wallace, 157 arguments.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Then there's number two is an unknown advocate.

Okay.

Wants to go by unknown.

Hold a mensch.

Three is Edwin Needler, 143.

Four, Michael Drieben, 106.

Five, Paul Clement.

I've heard that name.

92.

Six, Carter Phillips, 86.

Seven, Erwin Griswold, 83.

I'll just, Ted is 13 on this list.

Okay.

My claim wasn't that he had argued the most, but I thought he was maybe the most victorious.

But I bet these, some of those names are from like people in the 1800s that were there every other day, back when it was in the basement.

It was kind of a joke.

Kangaroo court.

I don't know.

That was mean again.

I was.

Do you ever read like this?

Like you're Stevie Wonder playing the piano?

No.

He said he passed.

I know.

That really bummed me out.

I know.

I feel very lucky that I had a passion.

I felt really kind of weird in that moment.

You did.

Because I knew that was new.

Like you were finding out.

Yeah.

And I always had this fantasy we would interview him someday because I really, really enjoyed the dinner I had with him.

Yeah.

So I felt

felt like.

What'd you feel?

Like I should feel stupid.

Okay.

We've been at this for a while.

Okay.

You don't know how you felt.

I will.

No, I I just felt like, what if you cried?

Like, what if you got really needed to take a break?

When that would have been fine, of course.

But no.

Yeah.

What if I need to take a break?

We have a guest.

We can't invite guests on, and then I go, I need to take a break.

Well, if you find out that I die in the middle of an interview, I'll take a look at that.

Well,

that'll mean I have witnessed you get killed in the middle of the interview.

You're never not in a kid.

Or have a heart attack.

Okay.

I will have to take a break.

Yeah, to start chest compressions.

Or what if I, what if my um, an email comes in with my

AIDS test?

Oh, boy.

We're in, you're going to get in hot, hot water this episode.

Unairable.

Cut it.

Dump it.

Dump it.

All right.

All right.

That's it.

Love you.

Love you.

Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com/slash survey.

Hi, I'm Monica Klewinski.

Welcome to Reclaiming.

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was was yours.

Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.

Miley Cyrus, welcome to Reclaiming.

My 2013 is your 1998.

I lost everything during that time in my personal life because of the choices I was making professionally.

Chelsea Handler, welcome to Reclaiming.

I did have a teacher who instilled in me that I was going to do something special.

And she was like, you're going to have an impact.

Sophia Bush, welcome to Reclaiming.

You went all the way.

You committed.

and if it wasn't for you, you had the courage to tell the truth and get out.

And I had to say that to women in my life, and I had to learn how to say it in a mirror to myself.

This last decade for me has really been what I consider my own reclaiming.

My own journey, my own reclaiming story is in the bones of this show.

Please listen to Reclaiming on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.