Dominic Fike

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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.

I'm Dan Shepard.

I'm joined by Modest Mouse.

Hi.

Oh, Modest Mouse, ding, ding, ding.

You went with me.

Robin, I went and saw him.

Today we have just one of the most adorable boys out there.

Out there.

Oh, Dominic Fike.

We both fell in love with him on Euphoria.

That's right.

He's a musician, a producer, and an actor.

He was just impossibly good on Euphoria for having never done it.

And we get into it.

You know, there was some stuff going on.

Sure, he was juggling some things.

Yeah.

And he has a couple different albums out.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Sunburn and a new mixtape out now called Rocket.

I love his music.

Wild childhood story, as you are about to hear.

Oh, man.

Buckle up.

Buckle up.

Please enjoy Dominic Feike.

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He's an all-checkster.

He's an all-chance.

How you doing?

All right, brother.

Welcome.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Pleasure.

Monica, I'm Don.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming.

Yeah, no problem.

Mind if I sit here?

That's

I've seen you sit here.

We're going to insist you sit there.

I have seen you sit here.

Yes, if we're checking facts, I sit there.

In an interview, I sit here.

So we move on to the next one.

Oh, facts.

Yeah, Daisy.

Okay.

You're as cute in person as you are on television.

You don't always know what you're going to get.

What do you mean?

You see people people on television.

They're super cute.

You meet them in person.

You're like, they're not as cute.

Personality-wise?

You know, I don't know.

There's some magic with a lens.

I'll meet other people and be like, wow, in real life, that person's unbelievably attractive.

It can go, yes.

It often to me goes the other way.

People are more attractive than personal.

We love to think we're more attractive in person because we don't like how we look on camera.

Yeah.

Us.

You and us.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When people meet you, do they say one way or another?

Because that's a common thing for people to say.

Oh, you're so much cuter in real life or you're taller I see Instagram comments about people thinking like I don't shower apparently I look like I smell better you read dirty yeah I read dirty yeah that's what people say okay well we can confirm you don't smell yeah we can tell the world you don't smell that'll be the first myth we dispel today that's right what do you chalk that up to do you think it's my hydrobell I take a long time to shower I spend time showering I'm a single man

Sure

you really got to get in.

There's no one waiting for the shower or waiting for me.

Oh, that's your point about being single.

I was thinking more like you're on the market.

You got to put your best foot forward.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know.

I don't think that women like it when I try to get all primped out.

You know, I think they prefer me more dirty.

Interesting.

I'm not shocked by that.

You have a mysterious vibe and so hyper-powered.

I got a mysterious vibe.

I think so.

Well, let's put it this way.

I'm a child of divorce.

All of my friends.

Their parents were divorced.

Like, are all your friends, the parents are divorced for the most part?

No, man.

No.

No, I grew up with a lot of people who had healthy admirable parents who were all in high functioning relationships because a lot of rich people where i grew up naples florida sure so they were like model families i feel like the model families kind of changed but for that point in time when everybody was really trying to fit into that box and that middle class thing was like dying out that is what i experienced from my friend's parents i think maybe that's a testament to your self-esteem or not or your own security because i felt judged by other people.

I needed to know everyone else was dealing with some shit or I got insecure in those situations.

Like, oh, this family thinks I'm trash.

You didn't have any of that?

Yeah, I had that, but I was also trash.

I was like, yeah,

this family's got a good read on me.

It was cool, though, because the division between middle class and rich people and poor people, it wasn't so thick and palpable.

It felt like you could slip into any one of those sections because I would hang out with a lot of people from in my city.

They call it in town.

Okay.

A lot of people call it Brown Town.

Minorities lived here.

So I grew up there and I had a lot of rich white friends because I like to skateboard and I like Blinkwin 82 and Sgt.

Peppers and shit.

Sure, sure.

I also like whatever slim thing.

And they have swimming pools and it's hot out.

You meet some friends who have swimming pools.

And a lot of snacks.

I know this game.

You got to go somewhere after school to eat.

Of course.

Who's got the microwave pizza?

Yeah.

We all hung out, you know?

There wasn't like a hard demarcation.

Yeah.

That's good.

There wasn't like socias and socias, like from the outsiders.

That's right.

Soches and racers.

Because I feel like my school was pretty hierarchical it was and socioeconomically especially in junior high where'd you grow up detroit area okay motor city that's right sir when'd you leave there 95.

that's when i was born i know that we have a lot of weird things so you're about to turn 30 gross december 30th right i can't say that here we're both much older than you so you don't get to say that here but i was doing all this math i was like oh i basically got sober

exactly right now for for your lifespan because I got sober in September and I turned 30 three days after you, January 2nd.

So I've been messing with, it's like a team of people called the Malone Collective.

Is it a cult?

It's kind of a cult.

Okay, great.

And the way they call it.

I already know.

I already know.

They help you with sobriety in whatever way you see fit for yourself.

So you can go there, do acupuncture, craniosacral.

You can do somatic therapy.

What's somatic therapy?

Somatic therapy deals with your nervous system.

So it's the language of your nervous system.

So whatever you can do to quell those waves that reach your window of capacity, you can like quell that signal that like dysregulates you.

Yeah, absolutely.

So it's super helpful.

It's super helpful.

And are you allowed in that program?

What I think is cool about SLA sex and love addiction, if I understand it correctly, because I'm not a member, but my understanding of it is you create your own definition of sobriety.

So you have, I think it's called a ring.

And it's like, I cannot go to sex workers.

I can jack off as much as I want.

You know, whatever you're thinking is.

Say your own rules.

Well, that's a dangerous game.

Saying your own rules.

Well, yeah, but I think it makes sense because for some people it's not an issue for they're not addicted to pornography they're not this but they are that yeah sex is so ambiguous yeah that you kind of have to create rules like an eating disorder some people are like so they can't masturbate but that's not for everyone right right right so does this cult and i'm one myself i say it with a lot of respect do you get to define your own definition of sobriety you get to define your schedule i think that we all have a mutual understanding of what sobriety kind of looks like well it's getting different I'd say.

We're in a different era than we were in the 90s for sobriety, where there are tons of people that are now sober that smoke weed, or they would say they're sober.

It's Callie Sober.

Yeah, Callie Sober.

Some people do ayahuasca, but they're dead sober.

I think it's gotten more.

Ayahuasca's intense dude.

Nuanced, right?

Yes, I've not done it.

Have you done it?

You have.

And did you lean anything from it?

Was it?

a breakthrough at all in any way.

It's like all psychedelics.

For me, it's like opening a map.

You kind of check where you're at.

you have this big scope it's like zooming out you take that like 30 000 foot perspective on acid it's funny because you're like okay i got it and then you're like we're good right and the dude's like no there's six hours

but i got it though right now and then you get tired of it and then by the end of that six hours you don't even care about the message you're like i just want to get back to the playstation and cigarettes maybe that's the message that is i decided recently it's all great cocaine's awesome sobriety's awesome i don't want to go on this like kanye thing where he's like i love everything but like like i do like i do like it's fine as long as you can handle it my brother i just put him in this place called cirqu lodge oh yeah i've sent people there i've been there too it's great i love him there but i sent him there and he's back now and he's looking at me because for a while i was just very loose with my definition of it and i'm still kind of to this day like figuring it out yeah yeah yeah i got no idea i think it can evolve sometimes you evolve past where you're supposed to go and it knocks you back and i think i'm finally at the point where like you know when you fucking stretch out a rubber band and it's like

yeah

I'm like, right here.

Right.

So vibrating, but not

sketchy wampus.

Yeah, not yet.

So Alex, my brother, I just put him in there and he's back because he keeps looking to me like, how do I do this?

What do I do?

So this was my thing where I'm glad I didn't grow up with a dad because I didn't have that dude to be like, what the fuck's going on?

I've been that to him.

And recently I kind of shut the phone on him.

Let me just see if he figures it out.

Cause he'll text me in the middle of the night like, yo, I need to buy a crib right now.

And I'm like, actually, shut the fuck up and like listen to your body and then we'll see where you're at and he hit me he's like i kind of want a beer today i'm like okay cool thank you for calling me yeah why you want a beer he's like you know just go out to dinner like a gentleman

of being like a sexy drinking gentleman is so whack sipping wine yeah but some people just can't do it i noticed this great illusion in the program which is like almost everyone has the same fantasy like why can't i have a glass of wine and read a book and it's like hey i never wanted to be the dude drinking a fucking glass of wine reading a book i want to be jumping off the second floor into the pool facts so it's like you're already pretending you have this fantasy that you don't even have just because it's a version that you think you can for sure and you see people do it and i guess it looks fun but it doesn't really i'm all for what anybody wants to do if they're suffering i hope they'll figure out a way to not be suffering do you feel responsible for him now that he's out in the world and he is calling you that's intense so i got a crazy situation with my family when i got out of jail i went into jail pretty homeless i got a record deal while I was in jail.

We're fast-forwarding way too.

I know.

Well, we'll hit it all.

Okay,

no, my bad here.

No, you're bad.

I'm just thinking about the responsibility of a brother that just came out of.

Yeah, let's start at the beginning.

How old are mom and dad when they get divorced?

I don't know that they were ever married.

I didn't mean them.

How old were you when they separated?

Oh, for as long as I can remember, like maybe two.

Okay, I was three.

We're on a very similar pad.

We are on a similar pad.

We both hit the stepdad lottery, it sounds like.

That's bad foreshadowing.

When I interview someone and they're like, oh, I love my stepdad.

I'm like, congratulations, man.

It's kind of hard to get a great one.

Super hard.

It's crazy.

I've had so many.

How many?

Too many.

Just called my mom out.

Yeah.

Your mom's so old.

I can tell she can take it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

From your earliest memory, they're not together.

Yeah.

Did he have children before he met your mom?

He told me that he did.

Because you came into the world with two step siblings, no?

Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

I was like, if I've gotten that one more, why aren't you?

So they weren't really in your life, though.

No, they were in my life.

My stepsiblings.

Yeah.

It's just lives ago, it feels like.

But yeah, Janelle, my older sister, and Alex, my older brother.

So they were dads.

They were the stepdads.

Oh, oh, oh.

They were your mom's boyfriend's kids.

After dad.

Yeah.

Okay, right.

I didn't really know my dad.

My earliest memory of my dad is like him catching me masturbating.

Way too young, by the way.

What was his reaction?

Way too cool about it.

He was like, what you doing, bud?

And when I think back on it, I'm like, damn, that's so weird that he took that approach with me.

Well, maybe he didn't want to shame you.

He didn't, but I'd rather he did.

Now that I think back on it, I'm like, we weren't this like hippie, comfortable family where like, you know, everyone's jerking on and everything.

Here we go, young man.

You're doing the Lord's work.

Dude, that wasn't it.

So that bothers me.

But I don't remember a lot of him.

That was one of the only memories I have of him and me as a kid.

And I say this with love.

He was a junkie?

Yeah.

And mom, too?

Yeah.

Okay, so they both liked opiates.

And had they met?

already liking opiates or did they develop that together?

My mom doesn't really tell me much about them meeting.

The only only thing my mom has to say about my dad is that he's a piece of shit.

Okay.

And she changed my name from Dominic Mills to Dominic Fyke.

That's how much she didn't like him.

Even my name pissed her off.

To this day, like I can tell when she sees something in me that reminds her of my dad and has to shove it down.

Oh, wow.

And that sucks.

That's a bummer.

Because I will say, my mom and dad, they got divorced, but my mom always loved my dad.

And I think when she sees him and me, she likes it.

She's like, oh, that's the guy I married.

That's cool.

That's

I like that.

That's rare, I think.

Yeah, probably.

Pretty rare.

Yeah, it'd be so interesting if you did hate your ex, which is so common because your kids look so much like you both.

Constant reminder.

Same way.

So dad was gone.

Dad resurfaced at like 10 or at some point we'll get to, but how functional was mom as an addict?

Pretty functional.

She raised me and my brother alone.

Now that I have a kid, I'm like, how did you do that?

I know you had a lot of time.

And resources.

I'm not on heroin.

Yeah.

So I'm like, how did you do that?

How did you?

And I hate and I'm here because of her.

That's a really nice and positive takeaway.

because you could feel differently for sure well she was incarcerated sometimes all the time okay like how frequently once every year a couple years she'd go away for a while for drugs for all types of stuff driving drunk or drugs doing addicty shit addicty shit domestic violence my stepdad would beat the out of my mom all the time and we would have to watch it and then the cops would come and arrest my mom Every time.

I didn't even know what cops were or what the problem was.

Yeah.

So it was tough.

I could have like, I saw what happened.

I could have been a good eyewitness account.

I could have saved my mom maybe like six months in jail.

Wow, no, I'm sure the stepdad was probably terrifying.

Yeah, he was a big dude.

And he had his own problems, I'm sure.

You know what?

He was like an alcoholic.

Okay.

And I know

old-fashioned.

Old fashioned.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Close.

You knew what you were getting.

You know, he came at the door and he was angry.

That's how it went.

Something always seemed to happen to him on the way home from the bar.

At least he was consistent.

He was disappointed when he got into the house.

So I too watched my mom get beat.

And that created that thing.

It fucking killed me to not be big enough to protect her.

It then made me feel like a coward.

Like I had all this shame about it.

You should grab a knife.

And then this oversized trigger for any bullying.

And I want to get in the mix way too much if anyone's getting kind of victimized.

Did you pick up any of these issues?

Absolutely.

And people would take take that as like, dude, this guy's got a big heart.

And then you go around thinking like, yeah, that must be it.

Like, I got a big fucking heart.

Right.

Well, it's in the mix.

Yeah.

It's one of the things that makes a big heart, for sure.

Yeah.

The events were one thing, but the abuse I put myself through after those.

Totally.

That's rough.

And I don't like dudes as a result.

I just, in general, I don't need to meet any dudes.

I feel you.

Yo, you know what's crazy?

I say this all the time to my manager.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Now we're talking about it's usually about work.

Then it'll be like a meeting with my agent.

And it'll be like, you got to go do this.

I'm like, who is it?

And they're like, Dan or something.

I just don't know my agent's name.

I'm like, I don't really want to hang out with a dude today.

And then they're like, Dom, it's not about gender.

You have to talk to this dude.

Like, I don't text guys forever.

If they're in my house, that's when it's really...

Like, Christian can invite over infinite females.

There's too many people.

It's too noisy.

But I'm not unsettled.

The second there's a dad of a kid that's getting picked up.

I'm like, like, all right, who the fuck is that?

What's he planning to do?

I think that's pretty primal, that sort of response.

That's what I wonder because you can't really have a different childhood to know, like, yeah, am I just genetically wired this way?

Totally possible.

Or is it, no, a random dude showed up and then the outcome wasn't great.

So, guess what?

I don't look forward to random dudes.

Totally.

I don't think anyone does.

We had a joke going for a while.

It was an ongoing bid that was like, should we get some more guys here?

Yeah.

We can almost play football.

Should we get a couple more?

Sausage is in the mix?

Like, I love it here, but we should get a couple more fucking guys in here.

Yeah, that'd make this thing really pop off.

I do think, because Dax is an AA, he's accumulated a bunch of AA friends.

Guys, yeah.

Mostly guys.

But they all prefer to be around women.

I think there's like a calmness maybe or a grounding that the men don't provide that the women do.

I lost that for a minute, my feeling grounded with women.

For the past like six months, I think I retreated to work.

And you know, when you're in and out of relationships for a stretch of years, and people are like, This is a relationship guy, and then you take that second and you're like, Okay, I need to be single.

And then you have the talk with your friend.

You're like, Yeah, I've been single for a minute.

And you know what?

I'm really enjoying my time.

It's being me.

I'm single now.

You do that for a while.

I lost my feeling comfortable and connected around them because of that phase.

I went into this phase of not dating and scarcely being around them.

You lost yourself.

But in a cool way, it wasn't in a negative way.

Now I'm just so nervous and I admire the shit out of them.

My mom used to have this friend named candy she was like the first other woman you know your mom's your first girlfriend yeah so this was the first other girlfriend i was just in a harem it was me as a kid like fucking q hefing it

but this woman was that to me like this tall nurturing mom girlfriend type of thing and that's how women have become to me now they all remind me of candy Yeah

now women to me are like aliens and I'm walking around and shaking hands with them is crazy.

Have you heard the song Candy by

Mandy Moore?

Kristen's favorite.

He's like a singer-songwriter dude.

Oh, I remember.

Cameo?

No, it's a man's name.

I like sexton.

Candy.

Is that how it goes?

Here we go.

Marcy Playground.

This is incredible.

None of us can find it.

It's called the boss.

Who sings Candy?

Your favorite?

Martin Sexton.

Martin Sexton.

Sexton.

Do you know that?

Sarah Marshall.

Thank you.

Yeah, I just got Sarah on the phone.

All right.

Thank you.

Have you seen this Chat GPT shit with South Park?

Have you been watching the new South Park?

I watched the first of the two Trump episodes, and what a mind-blowing experience.

This ChatGPT thing that they're talking about.

Do you guys use AI at all?

Chat GPT?

Yes.

Yeah, what are they exposing?

I want to know.

It's just like how fucking lame that is.

For when people use them for everyday life, that's what it's useful for.

Like, how many ounces are in this?

Or just anything.

Yeah, when you could have asked Chad about this,

potentially, it would have known.

Yes, I use it as Google.

I'm very much an old person.

Yeah.

And I get it talking to it's easier.

Yeah.

Have you heard the guy try to make it count to a million?

No, that's hilarious.

It will not.

What?

Exactly.

It's highly impractical.

Sorry.

She was Australian.

Oh, no.

I was ripping it out.

We were just at lunch.

That was where my story was going to end about the women.

Damn.

It was a fucking map.

We just went and ate at this place near here called All Time.

Oh, we love All Time.

You know the spots.

Siren City over there.

Oh, yeah.

Mani's always over there.

Beautiful women all over that place.

There's a blonde girl that works there.

We made eye contact multiple times.

Does she have blue eyes?

She does have blue eyes.

Like, very blue.

Yeah, like Australian kind of eyes.

I bet her name is Francesca.

Francesca.

I will pass.

Connie Dominic.

Wow.

Wow.

Reachable on Instagram, I hope.

Of course.

She is beautiful.

She is gorgeous.

I'm actually going to Jamaica in a week.

And there's an open

spot.

You got a seat next to me on the plane.

First date, Jamaica.

Yeah.

Okay, so I guess also I just am curious.

I know what it's like to be the little brother in this scenario.

How many older brothers?

Just one?

Just one.

And he's five years older.

And it's only now that I'm writing about my childhood where I recognize the amount of pressure that was on his shoulders.

He was dealing with the same thing with mom.

And then also, I'm supposed to be protecting this little boy.

I am now understanding how insanely stressful that probably was for him.

You know, it's funny, your older brother probably thinks about it that way too, though.

Like for you, because I think about my younger brother, and I'm just like, I can't imagine having to live up to all this shit.

Sometimes I feel so fucking bad.

And sometimes I feel like crying.

I'll be sitting alone and thinking about my family and want to literally just scream or cry just because there's so much you want to say, but you can't because you got to work through this.

And they got to say what they got to say.

And by the time they do, you probably don't even remember what you were going to say.

You feel like there's a bunch of healing out there that's not been done.

Yeah, there's been so much damage, I suppose.

I think what might be nice about your position is when you watch him struggle.

Again, I've had this with my best friend since he got sober.

I have compassion for him I can't really have for myself.

And similarly, I wonder if you look at the fact that you had to send your brother to treatment, you might go, oh yeah, man, this is kind of the outcome of what we dealt with.

So obvious that that's what's happening for him, and maybe you can extend that to yourself.

It's funny you say that, yeah, because it's harder to think about yourself in that perspective.

You can't deserve anything bad now.

You try not to because you're kind of taught from a young age not to.

When kids do it and it's unregulated and you don't don't know the other side, like parents worry that it's some form of narcissism.

That way of thinking is phased out.

And so you sort of cater to other people and you fill that void by worrying about other people.

Yes.

I never extend that care to myself or that courtesy or that grace.

I've never, ever done it.

And part of that, I think, makes me who I am and high functioning.

And it's gotten me to where I'm at.

You're also 29.

You don't have to have a lot of people.

A lot of time you have to figure out how to love yourself and not be mad at yourself.

I'm not.

Today I'm not.

So yeah, I just took my family to Big Sur.

That was super nice.

We were out in Carmel.

I got this cabin.

My nephews are good.

They're playing.

My brother's good.

He's on the couch.

His girl's good.

My son's okay.

My mom's sitting telling me about the space in a song, like a Justin Bieber song, because my mom loves Justin Bieber.

Come on, who doesn't?

Shout out to Justin.

I was talking to her and she's like reveling in this space of a guitar.

So between verses, and it's not like we don't have lighthearted talks.

For some reason, this one felt significant.

This sentence, like, I love the space here.

I think that was all she said.

But for me, it felt like a point of departure.

It was like, everyone's safe.

Right.

She does not have the weight of a bunch of other she's so comfortable not worrying about babies or rent or food that she's telling me about an understated guitar solo in a pop album.

And for some reason, it hit me like I wanted to cry.

So I'm thinking, I made it to this point.

It's always been a little bit stressful, but for some reason, I'm not living like the way I want to, like a piece of art like Prince would, you know, these stories about these artists that you hear and you're like, oh, it'd be easy to live like that.

All you would have to do is make sure a couple of things are in check.

So I'm like, what's stopping me from doing that?

You know, when you're hanging out with someone you're interested in and you bring them around your old friends and your old friends won't let you be a new guy.

They won't let you progress.

Yes, they're threatened by who you might be with this person.

So I have that friend in my head that never lets me be different or progress.

It's always reminded me of something I did before and that's why you're not able to do this.

Your street cred was fucked back here.

You're not this guy.

But I'm like, what is this guy?

So instead of being like, okay, just can't do that anymore.

I'm like, what is this?

Why is this?

I got a lot of shame too because of this narcissism that was sort of created for me with my cell phone.

Like it gave me narcissism.

And a lot of people didn't have this opportunity to go look at themselves or how people are interacting with them.

Right now, if you wanted to know someone's opinion of you, you can go get it.

Yes.

I could go get anyone's opinion of me.

It's irresistible.

That gives me shame because I'm constantly have this reference of myself when really there is no reference of yourself.

If you wake up today and you want to be a fucking chair, like it's all good.

Today I was like, I don't want this shame.

I don't want this vanity.

So I'm i'm not doing it and removing that for some reason coming back to it like a mantra like i don't want shame i don't want vanity right now the sky is bluer and like my stomach is easier i can talk and i'm not worried about a microphone in my face or a camera or the imprint for the rest of my life of the words i don't give a damn now and it's really good have you seen the jonah hill documentary with phil stutz no you should watch it it's about him and his therapist oh i know about it yeah and he talks a lot about the so that voice he would call the shadow and the shadows created to protect you at some point when you're younger younger.

And then you outgrow it as your life evolves.

And the shadow is afraid you're going to leave it behind.

So there's this weird practice of thanking your shadow, appreciating your shadow, inviting them to be a part of the new you, and then they fight backless.

I know it's pretty fascinating part of that doc.

Giving them form and humanizing emotions.

Somatic therapy is big on that.

It's helped me with a lot of that.

Yeah.

For sure.

Okay, so during all this chaos, you find, is it Avalon Forest?

Yeah.

Tell me about Avalon Forest.

Yeah, what's Avalon?

My childhood was kind of like South Park.

The day would start and it's us four friends and we're all like sitting on a stoop and I'm like, an idea comes and an adventure takes place.

And the forest of Avalon was just one of those episodes of that season.

We went to the beach, me and my four friends.

We find.

some weed on a rock on the beach super rare what a blessing yeah 14 year olds

no one's around yeah you have to go through sketchy drug deal to get it you you know not get robbed beat up police it's just on a rock we just started riding our bikes around because that was our mode of transportation the bike the pegs the shoulders god i missed that anyway

we're riding around and my home was small and the problems were so present you could feel it and you addressed them every time you walked in the room So every time I left the house, it was like, let's get into it.

I wanted Alice in Wonderland.

Yeah, yeah.

Every time.

I wanted there to be some sort of danger.

We narrowly escaped.

And the Forest of Avalon was like perfect for that.

And you know why?

Because our arousal setting was set way too fucking high.

It takes a lot to wake us up.

Yeah, because you might think that if you're coming from chaos, all you want is peace.

Yeah, all you want.

But it makes sense.

Like, no, that's not the idea of fun when you grow up with the chaos level.

100% of my

memoirs so far is this field we've lit shit on fire and we had a rope swing.

This is what I'm describing.

Well, we just go up there and act like a fucking caveman.

Yeah, did you have a name for it?

Because I had a name.

It made it so much funnier.

No, we didn't.

It was just the Forest of Avalon.

The mystical forest of Avalon is what we would call it.

I would be laughing every time you said it and you hit the joint and call that and be like, you know.

So it wasn't a real place.

It's just a place in your mind.

It was literally an undeveloped lot.

It was just a lot that had not yet turned into a rich.

Yeah.

Where you might be able to make your own society.

Yeah.

Yeah.

With its own.

Lord of the Flies kind of deal.

Yeah.

I loved it in that.

Possibility.

My dad was an addict, and I was like, I'm never going to do anything.

And then that failed, but that was my initial game plan.

I was like, I know what this does to my family.

I'm not going to fuck with it.

Did you have any reservations about smoking weed or doing anything?

Around the time that it happened, no, but initially, yeah, because I saw my mom smoke cigarettes and I found my mom doing drugs a lot too.

I would find heroin and just put it back.

By the time I...

Made it there, I was trying to just keep my hands from not sweating.

So if someone's like, yeah, we smoke weed, that's what we do.

I'm like, damn right, that's what we do.

And we fucking kiss girls too.

Yeah, yeah.

Whatever things I'm supposed to be doing to be acknowledged as a boy.

What's that?

We hate hate school.

Yeah.

Who's an asshole?

Yeah, it's just confirmation of your identity with people around you.

I mean, we all did that.

So when do you start?

Well, you start rapping at that point, too.

I did, but that was more for fun.

We just started getting drunk.

One of our friends, Gus, had a rich parent situation in a huge house, and we would go and steal his mom's Kahlua and like fill the bottles back.

Oh, yeah.

Freestyle in the car.

It was just around the time when currency was really cool.

Lil Wayne was really big.

The drought mixtapes or whatever they call them, no ceilings, all that kind of stuff was coming out.

And I had this Colombian friend named Jabron.

Shout out to Jabron.

Who's an idiot?

Legitimately an idiot.

And this guy who was only into Lil B and pissing people off, like teachers, just calling them slurs that they didn't know what they thought because of map songs.

So this kid was funny.

And we would just sit in the car and freestyle all night.

And then one time we're drunk as fuck and he turns to me.

He's like, dude, you're kind of too good at this.

And like took the mic over and they just started doing fart bars again, you know?

And then from that moment, something did kind of flip there.

Where you're like, Oh, I want to pursue this.

I was like, How do you guys not see the paths in the writing?

Sometimes they would sing something and do a flow, and I'd be like, and I expected them to hit it there, and they left.

I'm like, Well, no, this is the right way.

And I think that was the reason I started making music because there was like a period of time where Weezer music and Jack Johnson music or chili-like, I hadn't heard a guitar solo in like five years.

Yeah, and so I'm sitting on house arrest.

I'm like, Well, shit, I guess I could make it.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert

if you dare.

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Well, let's talk about how do you get to house arrests because yes, this is great now.

The story really takes off.

We were having a going away party for my older brother.

I was living with my older brother.

At this point, I'm homeless.

My mom's in jail.

So I'm on his couch and I'm just doing little sessions with people because I at this point got a name in my city from just rapping.

So people are paying me two, 300 bucks to do a verse, which is like horrible.

But back then, you're going to give me money to eat.

Of course.

I'm going to do whatever the fuck you want.

I'll sing and dance too.

I'll definitely rap.

So then I get into this kind of lifestyle where I'm in and out of the studio and partying a lot.

And so is my little brother.

When my mother was in jail, for a while, we tried to hold on to the house.

So he starts car hopping, like stealing from cars.

Like we'd get like carbines and shit and sell them, iPads, whatever.

Sometimes you find like 10 grand of cash.

And he's paying the rent for so long.

And then he goes to jail.

At what age?

Like 16, some shit.

Okay.

And he's in there for a while.

And then he gets out finally.

Five days out of jail.

My older brother now, my stepbrother, is going away.

He's going to jail as well?

No, he's just going away.

He's leaving on his own recognizance.

Right, to jail, right?

He's just going to travel.

That's where he just started.

He's going to Miami.

I think he's going to California to pursue a rap career.

Okay.

Yeah.

And we're all excited for him.

And my brother is there and he's drunk.

And a cop pulls up for a noise complaint.

So my brother starts dipping out.

He's on probation.

And once you get out, you're not supposed to do anything stupid in like the first five days.

I know that's a rule.

20 underage probably isn't.

Good luck.

Oh my God.

Here we go.

This is awesome.

This is awesome.

Okay.

Dude, I shit you not.

He runs away.

It's an apartment complex.

There's a nearby lake and they have these reeds sticking out of the fucking lake.

Yes, he is.

Do you know where I'm going with this?

Yes, without a paddle.

Yes.

Crazy.

He did that.

He performed.

Yeah, he did.

He performed it.

It was through cartoons originally.

It was like you go underwater and you can't breathe and they're shooting at you.

So you take a reed and you breathe through it, you use it as a snorkel.

And we did it without a paddle, but it's like a cartoon trick.

Here we go, real life.

Yes.

Oh, because he saw it with that.

Yes, yeah.

He's doing that.

So the cop starts chasing my brother.

I'm chasing the cop the entire time, too.

So at one point, the cop notices me next.

So I'm trying to tell Alex, yo, slow down.

The cop's not going to do anything.

It's fine.

I got you.

It's good.

So the only thing I can think of is trip the cop.

Keep the cop from your brother because he's going to go back to the bottom.

Whatever works.

Yeah.

So he pulls out a taser.

I'm thinking it's a fucking gun.

Immediately, my instincts, boom.

And I knocked this dude over.

Oh, man.

I knew I fucked up.

I saw him be embarrassed.

You know, when a grown man gets fucking embarrassed, dangerous.

Yes.

And he's a cop.

No, you're lucky he didn't get it.

He fucked me up, boy.

And then he put me in that car and then I went to jail.

And then you got assaulting an officer charge.

Yeah.

Okay.

And then you get house arrest.

How long was that supposed to last?

Supposed to be, I think, a year.

And then how did you fuck up house arrest?

Cocaine.

Okay.

Crazy.

So house arrest really enabled me to focus because I had just been running around.

Like I'd been making music here and there, but it was for features.

It was like transactional.

None of it was real art.

None of it was face-to-face with any sort of songwriting.

Like I really hadn't even thought about a stanza in months prior to this.

So I finally get on house arrest.

I'm at my computer.

Actually, there was these girls.

Shout out to Bailey and Callie, but they just let me me live at their house because they liked me.

And you're cute as fuck.

Yeah, they're like, you're fucking so cute.

This cute face in our apartment.

Yeah, they let me live with them.

And I just started making music with them.

I had a girlfriend at the time and I used to play guitar for her.

I hadn't played in years, but she bought me a guitar.

Like, remember when you used to play guitar for me?

I'm like, yeah.

So I started playing the guitar again.

And then I'm like, shit, I'll make a mixtape with a guitar, though.

This time I'll sing instead of rap.

And maybe this will be for girls.

Turns out it just sparks my entire career.

That's all I do now.

I hardly rap.

Yeah.

And it for girls.

It is.

We all like it.

It's working.

It's working for you.

I have a question really quick.

How do you feel?

I'm sure you've told your story many times.

When people

show pity,

what does that do to you?

Are you like, yeah, that makes sense?

When people say, uh, or are you like, no, it's fine.

Don't feel bad for me.

Yeah, I think I've told the story enough times at this point.

I've seen all the reactions.

Yep.

Some of them surprise me.

Some of them are comforting to me.

Sometimes pity's good.

Sometimes you want it.

Sometimes when you're telling your story and you're in Europe and you're hungry, you want something to eat, and this lady's asking you about it, and you tell her that, and she pities you, she puts a little bit more cheese on that thing.

Sure, it can work for you.

Yeah, yeah, because I can imagine, I feel multiple times in hearing this, like, oh man, don't you feel like I got to take care of this?

Yeah, there's that.

There's a lot of cows attracted to you that are

wanting to take you in.

There's a lot of cats.

Yeah.

How do you like it?

Because you don't.

I don't like it.

No.

You don't like it.

I don't want anyone to take care of me.

But you do.

Yeah, secretly.

Don't tell anybody though.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Do I want you to like me and not like me at the same time?

Not like me for the reasons that I want you to not like me.

Exactly.

There's a lot of active contradictions.

Okay, but you didn't get to cocaine or breaking house arrest.

Oh, yeah.

So you're in there focusing.

It's doing wonders for your songwriting.

But I'm in a room all day and I'm trapped all day.

And even now, that's my job.

I know that it's healthy to step away.

Yeah, isolation is.

It's a bitch.

So I start using.

everything I can that has a short span in your stream.

Coke is like three days.

Yeah.

Is that what it is?

I don't know.

When I was looking it up,

I wasn't taking a lot of piss tests when I was smoking crack.

This may be surprising.

I did not hold any employment.

You know what's funny?

Me neither, but I think it's something in middle school that you do with friends when it comes to weed is like you guys discuss like the shelf life of drugs in your system.

I didn't know weed lasts for like a month.

I know that one.

Yeah, everyone knows that.

Every guy knows that.

Yeah, and meth lasts a while in your system, too.

But I don't know Coke.

Coke's one of the quicker ones.

So I'm doing Coke.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah, because you're not.

Because you might take a piss test.

I guess you are on on house arrive.

That's true.

I'm bored.

And the girls are always at work.

And their mom lived there too, but she's always at work.

She's trying to get me to go to school.

She's like, Dom, you need to do something with your life.

I'm telling her, I'm making a mixtape.

Kid with a face tad smoking dope, doing Coke in her fucking department, talking about a mixtape.

I'm not necessarily investing on that stuff.

No one gave a damn.

No one gave a damn.

And then I get called in.

I think, and it's right as I finished the last song on the mixtape.

I'm up doing Coke that night.

And the dude calls me at 7 a.m.

to dump another drug test.

And I'm thinking, like, oh, well, I just did it.

So it's probably not even in there yet.

Oh, like, I just did a shit.

Like, what's up, Pete?

Yeah.

Give me the cup, motherfucker.

Yeah, yeah.

He gives me the cup, and I just failed.

And he put cuffs on me right there.

I'd never been so in disbelief.

I was like, we thought you had it all.

People do that, won't it?

That's the great thing about Coke.

It makes you optimistic.

That's why it's a relief.

And then I went to jail for a while.

And during that time in jail, I released the mixtape.

Yeah, so how was the time in jail?

You were in county.

It's awesome.

It was great.

I'm not even kidding.

Really?

I had a good time in jail.

Again, this is a stereotype, but I'm worried how cute you are.

I'm a little worried about how cute you are.

That's scary.

I know.

I hate the brewth way to stereotype.

Okay, so it's not really like that.

I'm a little nervous.

Okay, tell us.

There's this thing called like PETA, Peta, Reda, something like that.

It's some four-letter acronym that is against prison rape.

Okay.

So we got some action in there.

We got some prototype.

It's huge.

It's like dare, but if they kept doing dare, and it was a huge name.

And it worked.

And

I had the full long hair.

I was like 20 in there.

Oh no.

I was a piece of ass.

Yeah.

There we go.

You're a piece of ass.

I was.

Call it what it is.

I was.

Yeah.

And I was in a violent block because of my charge.

My bunky murdered his family.

Okay.

Hilarious stuff.

The funniest guy.

Well, if you can't laugh about murdering.

You can't laugh with them because you killed them all.

Oh, my God.

Wait, how long were you in jail?

Like a year.

I did have one question we blew past.

Did you watch Florida Project?

No, I never watched Florida Project.

I was never into people making movies about my town because they always did it wrong.

And I just didn't want to be let down and pissed off with the floor.

I don't think you will be with that.

I hadn't seen it when everyone else saw it, but then I loved Anora.

So I went back

and watched Florida Project.

Florida Project's better than Anora, and I love Anora.

Florida Project is

like, that's a crazy take.

It's awful.

Sean Baker's amazing.

Oh, he did Florida Project.

He did Florida Project.

It is.

Okay, we love Sean Baker's.

Yes, and it has this impossible thing that kids have.

Once every 30 years, someone captures little kids being little kids.

You're like, how did they get this to happen?

It's mad.

The first time you saw Dakota fanning.

What the fuck's going on?

Yeah, I am Sam.

That's true.

I'm Sam.

Yeah.

So you piss hot, you go to county, you release the music.

Now, this is so improbable.

By the time he gets out, there is a bidding war to sign you, and you sign at Columbia for $4 million.

What?

I mean, I don't know why.

This is up there with Kihe Kwan.

Yeah.

Kihe Kwan.

Yes.

He's on a refugee ship.

Within a year, he's flying first-class

to be in Indiana Jones.

Wow.

Wow.

So, yeah, this getting out of prison to a $4 million contract, how do you compute that?

I don't know.

It was kind of like the first of its kind in that span of time to happen to this bidding war thing.

I'd never been a part of anything.

Because it was big on SoundCloud, right?

You had put it on.

Yeah, yeah.

I put it on SoundCloud.

And then my manager, Reed, who's still my manager to this day, takes it off real quick quick because he sees it starting to garner attention.

Yeah.

We had a couple like suits reach out.

We'd never been in contact with anybody like that.

I've been releasing music for five years at this point.

These dudes start flying from California to visit me in the jail.

Like

this dude that's like, hey, Dominic, you ready to be a millionaire?

And you're like, I'm homeless.

I'm not doing this for a penny under $4 million.

You can take $3 million and shove it in your.

What had happened was my mom is in jail and my dad's in jail at this point, both they're facing 20 years because this whole time, my family, they're huge heroin dealers.

My stepdad, Sean's a a heroin trafficker we're all chilling at one point and we've been doing this for years living in hotels selling coke it worked out it put me through school and then all the doors get kicked down at our hotels and at our other houses and everyone's taken to jail marshals it's in the news i'm seeing them both i'm like oh man they're fucked 20 years each so i'm in jail too and my sister's up for adoption because of this and my brother's in jail and i need to get my sister out of adoption i need to get my mom out of jail and i need to get my stepdad out of jail so each lawyer for them is 200 grand and then to get my sister out out, I'm still paying for that to this day.

So I'm thinking about my position.

And I'm homeless at the time.

You know, and I need to.

You're in jail yourself.

Yeah.

You're damned.

This is my work that y'all are buying.

All this is in my head.

It wasn't that I came up with like 4 million.

I had never seen money over $1,000.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So motherfuckers are like 200,000.

I'm like, that sounds like a not real number, I guess.

Cool.

I'm not pushing it up.

Another dude flies from another label, comes to the jail, says a bigger number.

And then I didn't even know this was a thing.

I tell that dude that the guy said a bigger number yeah this motherfucker goes with a bigger number yeah like wow I feel like I'm a

yeah you're a Jerry Maguire Jerry Maguire yeah dude that'd be so funny we get to the point where we're in LA and on top of the Columbia building or the Sony building because at this point Rob Stringer's involved the dude who owns Sony he's like all right who's this motherfucker like everyone's throwing this money around who's this guy he comes to meet me we're in a meeting and at this point I know how to do this money thing

so I'm in the room and I'm like playing them songs and they're like oh these are so good and then I'm like yeah, well, you never know.

And I'm about to walk out and Rob Schringer's like, so what?

Are we doing this or not?

Because he's a businessman.

I respect him so much.

I'm like, well, I don't know.

And Ron's like, maybe we could.

And he's like, no, no more millions.

Are we doing this right now?

I'm like, yeah, I'll do it right now.

And we just sign it and we pop a bottle of champagne on this rooftop.

It's me, Rob, and a couple of my friends.

And then I go into the bathroom and I'm like, yeah, I got to piss because all the champagne.

And I'm looking at my phone, the bank account.

Shouldn't I see the number jump?

No.

At the urinal.

And then from then on, I just don't remember.

It's been like seven years.

So you initially just blew a ton of money on lawyers.

Yes.

Were they successful?

Only one.

My father's still in jail to this day.

Mom got off.

Crazy probation.

I was able to get her custody of my sister back.

Yeah.

Move her out here.

She hasn't worked a day since.

Oh, this is great.

It's a movie.

It is a movie.

I got a piss, and then I want to talk about it either.

Okay, you guys go potty.

How'd it go?

Okay.

Thick, ropey.

We get it all in.

Or a weak, thin.

Pretty weak.

Pretty weak.

Sure, sure.

My friend, Stefan, was walking by the bathroom when I was like 17, and I was peeing, and he was just like, Weak.

That has stuck with me for nine years.

We've talked about this.

I think guys, when they go into a toilet and they think other people can hear them, they think people are evaluating how big their dick is by how powerful the stream is.

Well, it sounds like they are.

Wait, have you ever done that thing to yourself?

Sure.

Like, I thought, oh, that guy's wrestling a hog in there.

I hope you can keep it in the toilet.

But you're right.

It's almost counterintuitive because really, if you think, if you had to pass the urine through 18 inches of Sauzige, that would slow it down.

Oh, that's interesting.

It's almost like we have the backwards notion.

But it really, it's like if it was just a hole coming out of your top of your balls, it'd probably be like, I mean, it's how big the urethra is.

Surely, sure.

But also how much pipe it's got to pass through.

It's going to lose momentum.

Sure, yeah.

Unless it's like the early mining hydro projects where it's like the urethra is big at the top and gets narrower then it would increase the pressure we'll look into it for the fact check as we mentioned earlier so i think it's a comedy because i went and listened to a lot of the podcasts and actually went far back because i just put it on to sleep too oh okay it's good to sleep to by the way that's awesome i'm with media that you can sleep to i agree to me priceless that's biography

comforting you ever listened to the podcast come town no you guys familiar with the podcast

come town?

Oh, wow.

I like the title.

Tell me about it.

Mick Mullen, Stavros, Hutchis, and Adam Friedland, they have since disbanded, but they were like the originators of, to me, the comedy podcast.

Oh, cool.

Okay, and it was called Come Town.

That's it.

Yeah, and it was just horrible shit.

Non-stop racism.

Oh, wow.

Okay, so the original Manosphere.

Like, horrible.

Yeah, but now it's different than the Manosphere.

Well, also, I heard you say in an interview that Florida has a different sense of humor than L.A.

You can go a lot harder.

But now the world is kind of like taking

everyone can say retard now.

Everyone likes to say it.

Turned back.

Yeah, people

say that now.

That's why they've been saying it in South Park.

They're like, everyone says it now.

Carmen's walking around on the street that says woke is dead because he's sad.

He doesn't have anyone to oppose anymore.

Yeah.

That's how I feel now.

Sure.

People are confused.

No one knows what ends, what's up.

Was it liberal to say this?

Or conservative?

I miss it.

Stay in your lane.

Play your role.

Okay, so.

$4 million appears in the bank account.

Yes, you spend a lot of the money immediately on your family.

That's lovely.

And then you have your debut studio album in 2021.

Yeah.

Three nights was huge.

That's streamed a billion times.

For sure.

So that's their first kind of big hit.

If I were you and I had been in jail and these people start flying to see me, I would have the most imposter syndrome possible.

Like they're fucking up.

I'm not worthy of flying in here.

I felt pretty like...

I'm in jail.

I felt like fucking Al Capone or something.

I'm like, this is the least impostery I felt.

In jail, right.

Because you're like, I'm a piece of shit and I'm aware pieces of shit.

You're like, I'm really doing it.

I went all the way with this thing.

People said this is where I'd end up, and here I am.

They were right.

No, but the notion that I would be worth $4 million investment, given your track record, would have been kind of overwhelming pressure.

The whole time in my mind, I'm like, white people are crazy.

Yeah.

What the hell?

The first mail, I'm like, fucking hearing this shit, mom?

Like, what are you talking about?

White people are nuts.

You guys are nuts.

I don't know what you're talking about.

So, did that get in the way of you being creative at all?

Feeling like, oh my God, these guys just bet $4 million on me.

I'm never going to have a that's going to pay this off.

Back then, that was my thought.

But really, it fueled so much.

The older you get in this industry, you start looking for somebody to like jumpstart your shit.

You're never using your own phones to pay for your shit, first of all.

But back then, receiving money like that, I didn't realize it was like jet propulsion.

It really pushed me into this thing.

I'd never seen snow before, too, when I got out of jail and they gave me all this money.

So I'm like, let's go get a house in the snow.

So I go to the highest point in Colorado.

So I start thinking like how Led Zeppelin and shit, how they made albums, they would go out and retreat.

And I'm like, well, I'm a rap artist, but I just made this rock album.

And now people are talking to me about my bass lines and about my writing.

Maybe I'll just, boom, go into that.

You're trying to figure out what to double down on, right?

Yeah, where to double down.

Exactly.

And so I'm like, well, let's go see Snow.

So we go to Breckenridge, I get a cab, and I bring all my friends that are producers.

And it's a fucking madhouse.

In a good or bad way?

In the best way.

I married one of my friends to be a chef.

Guy never, my best friend, Max.

His mom died when he was young.

And he had his dad who was a good dad, but absent a lot of the time.

And I was homeless at this time.

And whenever I would come to Max's house and we would need food, and our parents wouldn't be there, he would cook us up something.

He would go into the fridge and say, Oh, here, I could whip us up something like this.

So when I get my money, and he's my best friend at the time, like, just come chef for me.

Come chef for the guys, cook on some very sweet story shit.

That's what he does.

And I'm taking all my other friends as producers, but we didn't realize like the altitude thing.

Oh, yeah, it's conducive to great thinking.

Oh, my God.

We're out there drinking whiskey, wine.

No, the hangovers at altitude or something else.

Oh my gosh.

And also, you don't stop to think about your nose.

At one point, I wake up and I just, I'm like, I can't breathe.

And we're supposed to be recording an album.

I have to sleep with six humidifiers on me.

So I would wake up soaking wet every morning and like go down and record, get drunk.

Turns out this album was actually one of my favorite albums to listen to now.

Well, all these things work for a while until they don't work.

You're so right.

You don't do them over and over again because they didn't work initially.

For sure.

Yeah, all this stuff's like you get hammered.

Oh, I can talk to girls.

That worked out great.

I now don't have social anxiety.

That's cool.

I did this and I stuck out for myself all these little things you build while it's positive so that album does really well and then i want to know what it's like you end up singing on a bieber song shout out justin again second shout out of the pot yeah i think he deserves it yeah he does something else i hadn't done any features with anybody and i still don't really do features i think the only features i've done is like ramy wolf paul mccartney and justin bieber that's uh pretty solid

how did you get approached does he call you how does he know about you okay yeah so i'm in antigua in rehab eric

That's where I sent my best friend Aaron.

For real?

Crossroads.

Yeah, I was at Crossroads.

Nice.

So I'm in Crossroads.

What year?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

How do you end up in Crossroads?

I was dating this really nice Jewish actress lady.

I love her so much.

Her name is Diana Silvers.

She was amazing.

And we were dating for a while.

And I...

I already know the answer.

You already know what happens, right?

Cheated.

Yeah, okay.

She didn't know what happened.

And then she's like, you need to go to rehab.

And I'm like, it wasn't me.

It was the drones that I'm on.

Go to rehab.

Not true and not true.

Not true and not true.

Both not true.

It's funny talking to you because you care they bullshit you.

That's funny.

So, yeah, I'm in crossroads.

This is why the program works, right?

Yeah, it's your floor.

I don't have my phone because they don't let you have your phone, but apparently, he DMs me.

My manager calls me because you get the phone like once a week or something, and I'm on the fucking jail phone.

Earning your swimming rights.

It was COVID, actually.

I went during COVID.

So did Aaron.

I wonder when Aaron was there.

What is Aaron?

Aaron's my best friend from childhood.

And he was there in 2019,

Thanksgiving to January 1st, 2020.

You guys just miss each other?

Probably.

It's hard to catch each other because nobody really stays at those things.

No one's ever.

He had a full month and a half.

I was proud of him.

He accepted the advice to stay longer, which I was happy about.

Good.

Which no one ever does.

No one does.

No one ever does.

Yeah, you never die.

Okay, so you're at crossroads.

There was this cheating event.

Did you yourself think I have?

Some kind of substance abuse issue.

Were you there yet or no?

No, because my parents were drug dealers at a young age they're giving me drugs my mom finds drugs she gives me more drugs you know so it's like i didn't know what normal was and as far as i'm concerned all these normal people don't have as much money as me at the time oh my god what the fuck is that mean yeah this is i'm doing it wrong but it seems to be working pretty well working all right okay so he dms you and how do we think he found you he just heard haley

Oh, Haley Bieber.

He was like, yeah, Haley's been listening.

Which is always my point of entry is somebody's girlfriend.

That's right.

So funny.

Same Same thing.

That's this show, too.

That's how we get any guy, somebody's wife or girlfriend.

Of course.

The 10% that resist hating our guts.

They'll join in.

I think it's more common to go, fuck this dude.

Oh, he's been malicious.

Maybe Haley is.

He's honest about it.

Oh, what is it?

Okay, so she loved it.

She loved it.

She had been playing it for him, and he was like, I've been drumming to it for the past month.

Why don't you come by and do something?

And I'm telling him, I'm like, right now, I'm like, yo, I'm in rehab.

And he's like, oh, that's cool.

I know that he's dealt with so much.

Yeah, sure.

Dude, he's the coolest guy also.

Let me just say that.

Oh, please do.

Yeah.

I don't think anyone knows.

We had this faux fight with him in the media, Kristen and I.

What?

With you?

Justin?

Years ago.

I'll patch it up right now.

Call him.

Years ago, he was renting a house in this neighborhood.

And when he was renting that house, the paparazzi were out in front non-stop for him.

But guess what?

If he wasn't around, they'd pick us up because fuck it.

They're just there.

So it helped our paparazzi interactions a lot so i think i complained once in an interview that bieber fucked up our whole scene by moving behind us but i wasn't mad at him it's not his fault that got perpetuated into a little thing did he think you were really mad i think maybe he thought that for a minute because then he had to respond well imagine being the dude that everyone's like he's a lesbian he's a fucking he looks like ellen de jent you know for years anything that pokes you is probably like well him then yeah you know i completely understand but i've since spoken very favorably about and he did dm me once interesting but i missed it by two years.

I didn't realize you could look at your DMs.

Totally.

Anyways, I think he's radical.

He's sick.

He just dropped an album.

Oh, he did?

Like last night or today.

Oh.

Swag two is what it's called.

When you look at him, what quality do you go like?

Oh, that's the thing I need.

Well, I say this all the time.

So when we worked together, I finally get out of rehab.

We go to Henson.

We're in the studio.

This is the Muppets Henson.

Yeah,

that's right here.

Yeah.

What was it originally?

AM?

Precisely.

So, yeah, I come through there.

I'm actually with the girl that I was dating, dating, the Diana girl.

We're back because I'm back from rehab.

You did what you were supposed to do.

You did what I was supposed to do.

She's my ex-girlfriend now, if you can.

Yeah, we're gathering.

We still are.

We're not rolling out on rekindling.

Life is long.

She's there, which was insane.

You should see how girls look at Justin Bieber, even if they're your girlfriend.

It was crazy to see.

I was like, damn, do I do that to people ever?

Yeah.

You were doing it to Haley.

Like a shark.

Exactly.

Yeah.

This is a push.

That's her.

Oh, good for him.

What I do admire about him is he is an athlete with it.

When he shows up, it's like seeing Michael Jordan or Kobe step on a court.

He's warming up.

I mean, I don't dance, but this motherfucker can like pop and lock.

So when I write, I just like, leave me alone.

And I'm singing it over to myself in my head.

And I'm going to need some time.

Everybody's kind of got to do your own thing.

Don't look at me.

Act like you're doing something.

Even if you're not doing something, probably don't do anything because it's going to be too loud and interrupt me, but act like you are.

Yes.

And he's there and he's like, Dom, you know what?

I think you should do this harmony that he did.

Like hit the harmony.

Wow.

And I would just be like, okay, I guess.

Because some artists you work with, they're just like, man, it's all good.

Like, we just do whatever.

It's music.

It's a free love.

Bullshit.

This man took a jersey off.

And I was like, whoa.

Time to get to work.

I love that.

Yeah.

And it's still love for it.

It wasn't like it's transactional.

I'm not a musician, but on the outside, I can see where there are a handful of people who their voices are so great.

Like, I don't know a lot about Sinatra, but I think everyone wrote his music.

That's not his thing.

But you start to see, let's just say Timberlake leaves his boy band and he ends up with the Neptunes, and that first album is what it is, and it's incredible.

And then you wonder, I wonder how much is Justin and how much is the Neptunes.

And then over time, it starts to surface.

Oh, no, it's them clearly, right?

Because that's Bieber.

No matter who he works with, which he works with a lot of people, the quality ends up being there, which leads me to believe, yeah, he has some kind of quality.

He does have that.

In the people that do sing and not write their own songs, you would expect that quality to always be present, but it's not.

And he

has it in,

you know, what do people say?

In spade, that's what they say.

He has, yeah, so much of it.

I'm impressed.

Okay, so you work with him.

Then Euphoria comes.

How do you get approached for that?

And had you ever considered acting?

I'd never considered acting at all.

I actually didn't want anything to do with acting.

I was doing a triple J performance called Like a Version, where you have to perform another artist's song.

So I performed a Claro's song.

But what I did was I wore a wig.

Because I was like, I'm a girl.

I was also just high as fuck.

So I was just like, whatever.

Okay, so the rehab had not stuck.

Yeah.

Okay.

Great.

It did erase the cheating, but it didn't cure the addiction.

Okay, great, great, great.

Every time.

So I started playing that.

And I guess one of the casting agents for Euphoria, her name was Jennifer Vendetti.

She saw that video and was apparently...

intrigued.

Yeah.

Called me.

I didn't know what Euphoria was.

I didn't know it's this big fucking TV show.

I don't know who Sam Levinson is.

I don't know who fucking even Barbie or Zende or any of the girls.

So the night before, I was reading about some actor who did his thing fucked up or something.

Maybe it was a week before.

So I stayed up all night with this girl drinking whiskey, taking shrooms.

I show up to the audition or the read beyond fucked up.

I'm just laughing at Sam and everyone's laughing at me because I'm just laughing at them.

And I'm like, what is this script?

I'm like throwing shit around and calling Sam.

I'm like, you're wearing a fucking dress, dude, talking to Sam because he's wearing a dress.

And I was like 30 minutes late.

And they're like, can you do this?

And I was like, I don't know, probably.

And we started reading it, but then the words started jumping around on the page.

So I was like, I can't do this script.

And they were like, Dom, just go get rest.

And they were so mad at me.

I remember they called my agents and were like this kid's never doing anything in hollywood again ever were so mad but then i guess i posted something like a month later that was like it's not about what you do it's what you do moving forward that really is going to define and it wasn't in reference to that but i think that jennifer saw that and i think i was living in a different way at that point i was trying to like buckle down they call me back it was like a year later and sam had written a part for me Sam had rewritten this character that I'd showed up to read, but he wrote it with the qualities of the guy he saw show up.

So he writes this guy that's like half his character and half the dude that showed up that day.

And then I was honest with him.

He has a meeting with me.

He's like, okay,

I know that you get fucked up.

Obviously, you have some problems.

I have those problems too.

We can get someone to help you, but you have to do this.

You sign a five-year contract.

It's just a formality.

But he's like, I need to know that you're not going to like fuck me on this.

I was like, brother.

Got you.

I'm not understanding the stakes still of this show.

And then we get into filming it.

You find out real quick when you see that budget.

You know?

Yeah.

When you show up and there's like 20 semis there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then you meet all the people too and you see actors really take this shit serious.

So because I'm here, I'm just like, I'm just doing another whatever.

Which is like a self-defense mechanism.

For sure.

If I saw that.

I told you I don't care.

That's so true.

Yeah, yeah.

That was definitely what I felt.

And did you feel pretty natural pretty quick?

Because you...

hit the ground running.

You were so good immediately.

I was rooting so much for you guys.

Such a good character.

Yeah, thanks.

I love.

I wanted he and Rue to be together.

Oh, really?

Did you write that song?

No.

Labyrinth wrote that song.

Sam had asked me to go write a song, and I wrote one.

I mean, I had like overdubs, and I didn't know what he meant.

Something that couldn't be done in a room.

He was saying, Write a song on the guitar.

So then I get this song Labyrinth makes, and it's gorgeous.

And I was like, I'll sing that.

Yeah, yeah.

I was going to say, was it hard to admit?

Like, yeah, this is pretty soft.

It's better than what I thought.

The song that I wrote for it is still good, though.

I listen to it sometimes.

Okay, great.

Well, I heard Pharrell getting interviewed by somebody at some conference, and I was relieved to hear that happy was like his 16th attempt at the theme song for that movie.

Yeah, Happy Feet.

For Happy Feet.

Happy was a theme song for Happy Feet.

Wait, this is not sounding right.

No, it wasn't for Happy Feet.

That was a theme song for them?

Oh, it's for Despicable Me.

Now if you feel like

they hired him to write it.

Yeah.

Despicable Me Too.

Okay.

So the first album, he wrote all these hits, goes away to do the second one.

And every time he submits, they're like, that's not it.

I've been there.

It's such a relief, I would imagine, for people to know that Pharrell sometimes has to stand up at the plate 16 times, and that's why he's Pharrell.

He didn't go, Well, no, I'm better than this.

The end of that story, I think, is that he basically said, No more.

No, like, I've done it this many times, but he came up with happy and he's like, Well, this is it, this is it, and we're not doing it again.

And then, specifically, he told the president of the studio, I need you to drive around in your car and listen to it.

Yeah, something about driving around the car.

Stay tuned for more armchair experts.

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You realize when you work in music, all these dudes are super normal dudes and they're just like you and I.

This Danny Elfman dudes, just like the Omar Apollo dude sitting next to me, the only difference is this dude was down to do 15 tries of it for 15 plus years every day.

That's the only thread that I find connecting all the people that I admire.

It's not that this person drinks this type of water, this person wakes up and shits excellence genetically.

Yeah, it's that this person just didn't fucking stop.

That's so true.

I heard you say that you

were almost kicked off the show a bit

for your drug use.

What was the consumption at this point?

Doing a lot of coke and a lot of it's really weed great stuff smells so good smells great

it must be hard for you though because if everyone's like you're doing so good and you work yeah character's incredible

how then do you what's broken why am i fixing again same what you go to jail and then you get four million dollars how do you right-size that and say no i really need to get my act together because your act is working yeah well it was kind of like if a dude gets like a cool cut on his arm and then they put a band-aid on and the bandaid's like transformers i was like what do you mean i'm doing great transformers band-aid but then you take it off and there's a fucking gash in your arm that's kind of what it was all this money this is a temporary fix for something that i need to actually go and heal i would kind of be better about going on camera super fucked up like i would space it out like my weed would be like 50 minutes i'd put eye drops in the thing about getting fucked up on set was like people imagine that i'm just constantly talking to sam and zendaya and hunter fucked up i was in my trailer bored all the time you fucking know it's insufferable You're in

all day.

And then at the drop of a day, you know, you got to be there.

That was the funny part: is when you are in the middle of doing something and they're like, you're on it five.

Mac, Mac.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You were signed on for a season three.

Is there a season three of that show ever?

No.

Yeah, I actually just did some of it.

There is a season three.

They're filming it.

I was just talking to London.

She's filming it.

Oh, I was afraid.

Nah, they're going hard.

Oh, good.

They're bad.

I love that.

Rosalie is in it, I know.

Oh.

It's such a good show.

It's such a harrowing show.

A good friend of mine is on that show, Dane.

He's going through some.

I saw some shit about it.

Yeah,

heartbreaking.

It's crazy.

Because, you know, I met him.

He's like a superhero.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

Heartbreaking.

Okay.

When you sang to her.

I know.

People hated that scene.

What?

Who did?

You didn't see me get roasted on the internet for that?

No.

The whole internet just blew up about me doing that.

What were they mad about?

They were just like, why is this guy singing?

I'm trying to see the rest of the character's arcs because it was kind of at this point when everything was like imploding.

Yeah, the culmination of all this drama is happening right now.

And then it comes to me being like, you want to hear some shit I wrote?

No, it's being like,

it's too time consuming.

Yeah.

These people are just like, which just goes to show where we're at as humans.

Yeah, that's.

You know what it more goes to show?

It's like every conversation's happening and you have to find the ones.

that are bad really because that in our world oh my god no one thought i've never even heard that away and also that's so dumb because it's also about her it's a very human moment you would want to skip that no one was trying to see that they were trying to see like animal kingdoms

girls fighting with the hair they wanted to see that oh my god have you seen the user interface have you seen amazon lately ever just go into any streaming service do you see what it is it's just like yacht murder this person was discarded in the back of the fucking popeyes and they used her as a rug for eight months and here's the doc about it that's all it is and that's why you know where we're at as humans yeah before it was like charlie chaplin like slipping on on banana peels.

We outgrew that.

We needed something more radical.

Oof.

Well, I can't be the first person that would compare you to him, but Mac Millard.

A lot.

That's got to be a tremendous compliment now.

Yeah, it hurts, though, because he's dead.

I know.

You can take it a different way.

I loved his music, and I felt like we were really close to working together.

I'm managed by the same people who managed him.

And I know a lot of his friends.

Have you done a tiny desk?

I've not done a tiny desk.

I was supposed to, but I didn't sleep the night before I was coked out.

And so I missed it.

Right, right, right.

These things happen.

They do.

Where are we at with the drugs now?

Good.

Was there an event?

Was there anything exciting that was like, okay, these are getting more dangerous?

Yes.

You have a child.

That was a big one.

We would like that to be.

You know what's funny?

That wasn't the thing.

No, it's not.

It's worse.

It's worse.

I can't.

That's honest.

I've seen so many dudes in sobriety think that when their kid arrives, that's going to be the, it's harder.

More stress in your life.

It is.

And you also get this thing.

It's like, all right, well, he's one now.

Maybe I got three more years of this.

And then it's boom.

Yeah, he'll remember all these things.

It's a fallacy to say there's a bottom because I've had a dozen.

A billion bottoms.

But certainly I did have the profound moment looking in a mirror at a bar trying to get well enough to make my flight where I was just like, wow, man, you got everything you wanted and you're the most miserable you've ever been.

What is broken?

Know that feeling.

You got all the stuff now.

So what is it?

Crazy feeling that one.

It's scary for me because I was like, oh, if I get rich and I'm famous, I got no problems.

Yeah, you think that.

And then it feels like a man on the edge of the world.

When you're in that mirror, you're like, what?

Yeah, why don't I like what I see?

What happened?

Yeah, it's scary.

It sucks.

Then you got to figure out what the fuck's broken.

Yeah, man.

I was in Paris for fashion week and getting after it.

No shortage of drugs and women in Paris.

I end up staying up too late and I have to go to Rome for a week and a half.

Supposed to be great.

Rome's beautiful.

This is the most miserable I've ever been.

I'd run out of Xanax, which I've been taking for like six months at this point.

So I had like a psychotic breakdown.

I didn't sleep for three days.

I'm up screaming, crying, throwing shit at the walls, breaking things, screaming at people, calling people pedophiles.

I was just going to say, people know from watching movies that kicking dope is hard.

I don't think people understand how absolutely horrendous kicking benzos is.

It's the devil.

Xanax and all the benzos, they seem so innocuous.

It's like, oh, yeah, take one.

Because everyone takes one.

Yeah.

But it's when you've taken them for 30 days straight and you're up in your dose.

It fucks up your brain pretty severely.

People take them for years.

And I look at it online.

It's like, you're supposed to take these for this amount of time max, or else it can be serious.

Yeah.

I think I took them for six months.

Getting off of them, I almost died.

Having seizures, flashes, fucking, all I'm freaking out.

And then I just ruined this trip for everyone in Rome.

And by the time we get back to LA, I'm like, okay, I'll stop doing it.

Turns out I am fucked up.

You go so long thinking that you kind of maybe can get it under control.

And there's always this stretch of time when it really feels like you're doing it.

And boy, does that ground come away from you?

And you're in Rome and you should be happy and the people around you should be happy, and you're miserable, and they're all miserable.

Yeah.

How many times do you go to treatment?

Like four.

Oh, wow.

I went to Cirque twice, crossroads once, and then seasons.

I also did some recovery in jail to get out quicker.

What's your favorite part of it?

What's your least favorite part?

My favorite part of it is, you know, what I was talking about with the dude that's your friend that kind of won't let you progress and change.

You show up there and no one knows you, so you get to create this person.

And then when you leave, you get to be that person because your friends, even waiting back home, expect a little bit of change.

Everyone gives you the grace to change at the same time, which rarely happens in life.

It's always different times.

Everyone's on a different schedule.

When you go to treatment, you're a baby again.

I love that part of it.

And they give you the opportunity to change.

You're like, you're sure I can change?

Right.

Go ahead.

And then you do.

And it's amazing.

I love that part.

My least favorite part is, and there's no really bad things about it.

If you look at it from, you're about to die.

Yeah, yeah.

It's all great, you know, but there's a couple treatment centers that get a little clicky, which is human.

But I think if there is a way to eliminate that, which is funny, because I'll be in the studio and I'll be like, I need a guy here to do hi-hats.

Just do hi-hats, but not talk.

Prefer like he doesn't eat or drink water.

And then they're like, so you want a human, but to erase his humanity.

I'm like,

that'd be ideal.

Exactly, exactly.

It would be the most efficient for me.

That's kind of how I feel about rehab.

I'm like, if we could just eliminate the human part of it, it'd be amazing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, there's a lot of parts I would have wanted to get rid of, like the God part.

I'm like,

oh, yeah.

What are we doing here?

For some reason, that isn't a big thing to me because I like that challenge.

Where I got to it was like, you're so bogged down in the logic of it all, as opposed to this is an act of humility.

You lack humility.

You need some fucking humility and you need to ask for help and avail yourself to help.

And that is one act of doing that.

And even more so if you don't believe in it.

So I'm like, oh, I get it.

It's an even cooler test for me.

I got to be that humble to participate in something I don't necessarily believe in otherwise.

I think that's good.

Saintly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you going to act more other than you formulate what you want to act to?

I've I'd love to act more.

I've been busy with music, but I'd love to act more.

I have an acting agent, Agent C as well.

I bet you're very representative.

I'm busy.

I'm away for months at a time.

The kid, I'm down to do more acting.

Some musician just told us, it was a female.

She said, there's this illusion that you can do both, but you absolutely can't.

Like to promote the album, to record it, then to promote it properly.

Wand.

You're the one.

Duxime.

I don't even know who you're talking about.

Just describing her in porn tag boys, like ivory.

She's ebony.

She's light skin and white hair.

You're like the driven.

Who everyone was crying?

Dove Cameron.

Dove.

Dove.

Dove Cameron.

Dove said that.

You have a similar vibe.

Musicians.

Musicians, baby.

Yeah, did you get along with Zendaya?

Yeah.

Zendaya's great.

She's very much Michael Jordan.

Okay, but let me ask you this, because you're kind of a scumbag like me.

Yeah.

And I look at her as like a goody-goody.

Oh, yeah.

I would have been so triggered by like, I bet she thinks I'm a piece of shit.

So funny.

That is why I really just wanted to to skip over this part of it.

I was just like, I already know any mention of her name.

I don't know.

If she sees it, she would look at me and be like,

I already know.

I knew who I was on that set.

And I think that kind of affected the way people felt about me too.

But again, it's a little bit of that self-protection.

Exactly.

It's like, I already know I'm a piece of shit.

She can't knock me any lower.

But they can.

I'm not taking this serious, but I am.

She probably has more grace for you than you.

Maybe, yeah.

I imagine.

She's great.

Tom Holland maybe is a secret.

So come back and find out.

would be great.

I hear he's a good one.

I actually like him.

He's funny.

We hung out a couple times.

One night, I'm not even fucking with you.

I go out to this bar.

I'm with Tom Holland for some reason.

Toby Maguire's there.

It's just me, Toby Maguire, and Tom Holland.

Two the Spider-Man.

Two fucking Spider-Man.

I'm just realizing the connection here.

And I'm just between them both.

I was like, dude, this is awesome.

Like, did you be like this?

And I'm like, can you guys do the meme?

And they both did the Spider-Man meme.

Oh, yeah.

That's exactly what I get.

That's awesome.

Well, it's a delight to meet you.

Yeah.

As I said, you're even cuter in person.

Thanks for having me.

I've never done a podcast.

This is your first podcast.

And I watch them a lot.

I'm going to guess your favorite.

I get one guess.

I'm going to guess your favorite.

Theo.

I love Theo.

No,

MSSP really is good.

Matt and Shane Secret Podcast.

MS.

MSSP.

Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker have a podcast.

I love Shane Gillis.

It's great.

It's good to sleep too.

But like I said, this one's really great.

Thank you.

We're going to keep at it for a little while longer.

It's a good thing y'all got going.

Please make that fucking season three of Euphoria.

I love it.

I'll make it myself.

Yes.

It's on you.

Call everyone and go, let's pick up the fucking pace.

We don't need to know what's going on.

They're like filming it.

All right.

Well, could you go faster?

All right, brother.

Well, great meeting you.

Nice to meet you.

And good luck with everything.

Thank you very much.

Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

It's cloudy out.

Is it?

To me.

Are you sure?

When it was outside, it felt so sunny.

When I woke up, it was cloudy, and then the weather app said cloudy all day.

Oh.

And you're right.

We were outside and it didn't seem cloudy.

It felt bright, a little bright.

But in my heart.

It's still cloudy.

This is

my argument against.

sleep data.

Yeah, I understand.

Yeah, I've already laid that out.

Yeah, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yes, I'm with you.

You need to do a sleep study.

Cool.

You need to find out what's going on.

Yeah.

But just waking up every morning and having a device tell you basically the limits of how good your day can be.

Yeah, I agree.

I'm against that.

Yeah.

So I think that happened with the weather app.

It's like you woke up, it was cloudy, and then you're like, and it's going to be cloudy all day.

And then you click into that gear.

Yeah.

We've had really weird weather this summer and going into fall, and I'm very grateful grateful for it.

Yes.

Notoriously, Los Angeles is at peak heat in September.

Yep.

In the beginning of October.

And it's scorching.

It's always over 100.

Yeah.

It's miserable.

You can't keep up with anything.

You're damn near dead in your apartment with one fucking window unit in your kitchen.

Yeah.

But

also another thing that won't interest anyone is we have a season which is marine layer season.

End of spring, early summer is marine layer.

So all the way to like one or two in the afternoon, it's always overcast, which keeps the heat down in June.

It's nice.

But we've been in marine layer almost all of September.

Interesting.

Which is interesting.

And then it also said it was going to pour today, right?

It did.

It said it was 80% chance it was going to rain, but that didn't happen.

Because I keep looking out my bedroom window on the second floor down at the roof of the guest house.

And there's so many leaves in the gutter.

And I go, I got to leave blow those out before the rain comes.

And then I was like, it's coming Wednesday.

I got to get.

And then I went to the store.

I didn't do the leaves.

But then it broke.

So maybe you,

it's the sim because it's like, oh, he's not ready yet.

He hasn't done the leaves.

So we have to hold off on the rain.

That's nice.

So maybe the whole state will be like, please clean up your leaves.

We need rain.

Um, I'm good.

We need rain because it's fire season.

You're right.

You're right.

Uh, marine layer, shout out, gray clothing brand.

Oh, yeah, I have some marine layer.

Yeah, they, we used our sweatshirts.

Old, if you have an old

armchair expert Christmas once a year limited edition sweatshirt,

chances are it was marine layer.

Yeah.

Speaking of trusted brand.

Not yet, but we will have a new merch

situation very soon.

So keep your ears and eyes peeled for that.

Monica's been using all of her style prowess to come up with a whole new set of designs.

Yeah, we're working with a new company who's very well-versed in merch.

Yeah.

And we've all been working together to come up with some nice basic pieces.

Basics.

And I think they're going to be really cute.

It's not,

I guess it's a little bit of a cock tease because it's not available yet, but it will be.

I don't know that I.

How often do you say cock tease?

Is that new?

No,

I said it.

Somebody listening, please go back into all the episodes and see how many times I've said it.

SKI.

I guess normally I say a tease, but

it means cock tease.

Yeah.

Yes.

Do you think I said that?

There's rungs of the intensity.

You could say, she's a tease.

He's a tease.

She's a dick tease.

She's a dick tease.

Never said that.

She's a cock tease.

That's like triple X, full blown, full throttle.

Dick tease sounds like dick cheese.

Yeah, I don't like the sounds of that.

It's like automatopoeia.

I like it all.

It sounds like someone's teasing it.

They are, but then they walk away.

But then they walk away.

But that's much better than nothing.

Is it?

The dick tease is always framed as something negative.

But I would way prefer some light teasing than to nothing.

Oh, yeah.

People really act like it's the worst thing you could possibly.

I mean, this is

blue balls.

Exactly.

It's kind of a patriarchy thing because it's like these women, they come and they just like tease and they tempted their sirens and then they walk away and then these poor men have these huge balls that turn blue also

we just had a guest on whose mother was like you gotta oh it was it was that terrible doc we watch oh the hoarder no the the woman the

unknown number yeah although did we have someone oh yeah oh maybe the mom with the hoarder her mom was telling her like you got to jerk these guys off oh my god she was and she gave her a vibrator for christmas in front of her brother and dad father yeah yeah

oh my god maybe that woman had a little bit of mindshaw but just didn't have the internet didn't have

was too lazy to pull it all yeah well she had hoarding also i mean she had a lot to handle she had a lot although that unknown number lady when we see her house because of the um

body cam it doesn't look organized oh it doesn't look organized it didn't look bad though Really?

I felt like it looked right.

I was expecting to see something worse.

Worse.

Yeah, I I had my expectations very low.

Yeah.

I wonder if people have watched it since we've talked about it.

Great, Doc.

I went to the Emmys.

Yes, you did.

I wrote that down.

Tell us.

Yeah, I went to the Emmys.

We also went to this party called the Night Before Party, which raises money for the MPFT fund.

Okay.

That's motion pictures, arts, sciences, televisions.

Yeah.

We haven't been in

probably 12 years.

Really?

Yeah.

The last time we went was the time that we were hanging out with Amy and Tina.

And the next day we were on a walk, and Kristen's just said, I'm just not funny.

Yeah.

I'm like, well, that was,

yeah, it was like, I think it was at least 12 years ago.

Maybe, maybe more before Lincoln.

Before I was even born.

We went because the beautiful Adam Scott and his wife Naomi were official hosts of it.

Yes.

Friend of the pot.

Friend of the pot, friend, just real life friends.

We just adore those two.

And

yeah, so we went, and that was,

it was fun.

And

I was reminded, I have the same

anxiety of any function with a lot of people, which is like, you're going to see a lot of people you like, and then you're not going to be able to really talk to them.

You're going to have like three minutes of small talk, which is not my favorite.

And then someone else is going to walk through that everyone knows.

And we're going to start the cycle all over again.

I hate this too.

yeah so it was really fun to see everyone uh that i watch on tv that part was fun yeah i did get to chat with ben stiller for a while oh and that was fun friend of the pod friend of the pod and i'm a friend of his pod

i'm kidding i feel his sweat

it's on me he was really sweating then because we had a sitting

monica sitting on the exact same spot that our guest who just left was sitting and he's very sexy he is very sexy a sex machine yeah And you're now in his sweat.

Do you kind of like it?

I don't like it.

Yeah.

I don't smell it, which is cool.

You just feel it.

His sweat doesn't smell.

His sweat's a back tease.

Which makes sense because

you're getting a back tease, right?

This person has to sweat a lot for their job or did.

They work in a steel mill.

And so his sweat is evolved where it's just, is it's just releasing water to keep cool, but it's not stinky at all.

No.

Wow.

So then

you got the Emmys the next day.

wait i want to stay on the party for a second oh okay great okay because parties these parties these parties they're fascinating and i think they're relatable to anyone as an adult going to a party

where you don't know people or you kind of know people or you know some people you're trying to figure out how to maneuver through and you don't want to be by yourself and it's all very fascinating mixed with it's actually like being at a high school party because there's popular kids and there's crushes and there's like all these dynamics going on.

A lot of dynamics.

There was a Netflix Emmy party after the Emmys day of

that Anna went to.

Okay.

And she didn't get a plus one.

Okay.

Or yeah, she didn't get one and then she didn't ask for one, which mistake.

You got to.

I always am the plus one, so I don't know the rules, but that's what you do if you get invited and you ask for a plus one.

Are married.

So if you I'm the plus one.

No.

Either way, either you're the plus one or she's the plus one.

Sure.

There's no like issues.

It's just built in.

It's built in.

If you're inviting Chris and you have to invite me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And vice versa.

If you're a single person, you kind of have to make sure you ask for a plus one at events.

Okay.

Which I've learned over time.

Okay.

So she

went

and she was like so like for like a week.

She was so excited about this party.

Oh, good.

Oh, Oh, yeah.

Also, Ana, our friend, is so fun, right?

She's the funnest person.

She loves a party.

She's always in a great mood.

She's got a zest for life.

She's just ready to, she's just going to say yes to anything.

She'll do anything.

She's so fun.

She is normally my plus one because of that because she'll always say yes.

And then she's just easy at the place.

Yeah.

So she was so excited.

And I had this sort of feeling like,

God, I mean, Ana's, of all people, she can like handle a party by herself.

Yeah, this is, if anyone could pull this off, it would be her.

For some reason, I had this.

I was like,

I don't know why I don't, I feel like this, like, might not go very well.

I, I didn't, and I didn't want to say that.

You don't want to jinx her or yuck or yum.

Yeah.

And also at one point, she was like, I wish you could come.

I was like, yeah, this gets complicated because I, of course.

want to be embraced and invited to things.

And it's lovely.

It's so nice.

However, I am not a person that feels super comfortable going to a party without needing to be there.

Right, right.

Yes.

Like, I don't want to just be invited to a party unless I'm in a show that's represented there.

Or I'm like, obviously, I went to the SAG party because I was a part of that show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Things like that.

But I'm not interested in just like going to a party to see him be seen.

Crashing a party kind of thing.

Yes.

Although you do want to go to the U.S.

Open and see him be seen.

Of course, but that's like fun.

That's watching tennis.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'm obviously bringing a plus one.

Right.

Anyway, but even that, like, no, I would not want to go by myself.

Right.

Even if I was invited.

I would feel so uncomfortable.

It's uncomfortable.

I feel like a loser.

I know.

And you shouldn't.

You should feel great.

We've talked about this.

I used to go to eat all the time by myself and I loved it.

I didn't give a fuck.

I was like, I think I'm angry.

People are like, my guy's pretty cool.

He doesn't care.

Yeah.

And being recognized has made me feel a little less comfortable.

I'm now back to enjoying it.

Yeah.

But I do feel like people will go, like, well, that guy must actually be a loser because he should have a friend.

No, I think he's on TV and doesn't have a friend.

That's not the same thing as a party.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

Okay.

I love going.

No, I was more U.S.

tennis open.

Oh.

There I would feel like people would be like, why is that?

Right.

That guy's on TV.

Why is he buying that?

That's more adjacent to a party.

Right.

Okay.

Oh, there's so many layers.

So, yeah.

Anyway, I'll have to say she goes to this party.

Yeah.

She's there for like 10 minutes and I start getting texts.

Right.

Oh, no.

No one's here.

Like no one from the show is there or some people were there, but they were not talking to her.

I'm standing at this table by myself.

And I said, well, go sit at the table.

And

she's like, no, I feel better just standing at this stand-up table.

And, you know, she was like, and I'm going to have to drink.

I'm going to have to keep going to the bar because I feel comfortable.

You know, these things that start happening.

And I thought I was like, you start getting very self-conscious.

So self-conscious.

You start feeling like, oh, I'm leaning on this thing.

Does that look right?

Does it lean?

Should I have my hand in my pocket?

Do losers lean?

You almost like short circuit as a robot.

You do.

And it's so

human and relatable.

Relatable.

It's like going to a wedding by yourself and you're just standing at the stand-up table

and like hoping.

Oh,

I just think like i'm too old to do this ever i went to oh i went to a birthday party recently that was sort of like this and i hadn't felt it in so long i'll i'll shout it out it was ashley who owns all

no but ding ding ding um elizabeth olson was at this party

yeah so Ashley from all time had a birthday party and it was in this like cute side room at all time.

And I don't know why I didn't even think twice.

I was like, oh, it'll be, this is fun.

I'll just pop in.

I got there and I was immediately.

I was like, what have I done?

It's an immediate feeling.

Yeah.

And now you're like,

I got to walk out of here, but that's going to be awkward.

I can't.

You got to like save face and spend 10 minutes here.

Exactly.

It's all going to go downhill once you feel that way.

And those 10 minutes are.

40 hours because you're figuring out, at least, okay, first I'll go get a drink.

That takes some time.

And then I'm going to act like I'm going to the bathroom, but I'm going to leave then.

No, I don't, I didn't leave.

I couldn't leave.

Like, I had to at least stay to engage with her, but she's obviously talking to people.

And then I'm like looking around, like, who do I know?

Oh, I kind of know that girl.

But she's in conversation.

And so I'm kind of like, you know, you're kind of.

Saddling up next to.

Yep.

You're, you're doing that, or you're kind of trying to get in their eye line and like.

So that they'll like ignore whoever they're talking to to talk to you.

Why would they do that?

So they're kind of, they kind of just nod to acknowledge you.

And then you're still standing there with your wine.

Oh my God.

It was so bad.

It's kind of crazy that

being a social primate, that we do all feel that.

I mean, I guess what that's what we're feeling is like, oh, there's a group and we're not in it.

Yeah.

It's very uncomfortable.

It was so uncomfortable.

And it is so, the human brain is so

interesting, depending on your

place and time and where your location, places you feel comfortable versus places you don't?

It was so wild.

Finally, my friend Mara came.

She just happened to be there.

Mara Rozak, incredible hairstylist.

Shout out, Rose hair products.

They're great.

A lot of people were going to shout about that towel I talked about because my hair was looking so good.

It's sold out, but they are going to maybe bring it back for the holidays.

Oh, okay.

Anyway, so a lot of sidebars.

Thank God Mara walked in and I beelined.

And I was like, you're not getting like, you're mine now.

You're now on a date with me.

Yes, that's right.

And poor her.

She had to talk to me for a long time.

Yeah.

I did speak to Elizabeth Olson.

Oh, Deko.

Did you?

That was fun.

I've never met her.

She was really, really nice.

This is also funny.

I was like, whoa, does she notice that you're in head-to-toe row?

Yes.

Uh-huh.

And it actually, my shirt wasn't, but my pants and my bag were.

Yeah.

And I was like,

for the first time, I was like, I wish I wasn't.

You felt silly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was like, this is like your sister's.

I'm dumb.

I got to die.

I want to go die.

Like, I'm wearing your sister's clothes.

You're like,

who is this person?

Why do I have to talk to Mara?

Why are you talking to her?

And then you find yourself talking about such dumb, like small talk.

Yeah.

It's

uncomfortably inane.

It's like, it's like, yeah,

your soul feels like it's

getting sundered.

Yeah, because I think in that conversation, I tried to bring up perimenopause.

It felt like

you were forcing it.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It wasn't on anyone's mind.

I felt like it was going to be a good entree in these three women who were talking about hormones.

And I was like, oh, well.

And then I was like, I was about to say on my show,

but I was like, I can't say on my show.

She's going to be like,

what show?

You got a show?

What podcast?

Please don't tell me about your book.

Exactly.

It was so scary.

Yeah.

Anyway, so parties are hard.

Parties are hard.

They are hard.

Stay tuned for more armchair experts.

If you dare.

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So we left there, then we went to the big event itself.

Yeah.

And they had a really heightened security.

Oh, I see.

Yeah.

There were snipers on the roof and stuff, different roofs.

I'm glad.

But it made getting in

really quite crazy.

Yeah.

Like we're, there was definitely a moment where I was like, do should we get out and walk the remaining half mile?

Kristen and I did that one year.

Did you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not sorted all that well.

And I was like, are we going to miss?

And I think her category was like second up or something.

I was getting so panicked because I'm watching the English carpet to to get you guys.

And I'm like, time is a ticking.

I haven't seen them.

What's going on?

Yeah.

We walked around the whole side of that whole thing.

We never were even on the right carpet.

We came in the side

and got there in the nick of time.

And I don't know why I had a memory of them having some great green room with a lot of snacks.

So I was like, I'm going to be fine.

Oh.

And then, you know, I'm like, ooh, I'm hungry.

And she's like, yeah, I'm hungry too.

Okay, after your category, let's go to the green room.

So we go to the green room, slim fucking pickings.

There was nothing there.

I think I ate like seven pieces of Mortadelo ham.

Oh, sure.

And that's all there really was.

Okay.

And I ate it all.

That was it.

Oh.

You save, you saved none for everyone else.

I was in a desperate situation.

Okay.

And then

when she went away to go do the Ted and Mary presentation, I knew I had a few.

Minutes.

Yeah, like a few awards.

I had a little buffer.

Right.

So I'm like, oh, I'm going to to go out to the lobby.

And I, I was going to be conservative.

I was like, I'm going to go get a thing of popcorn that'll tide me over.

And that's, I can manage that.

It's just a couple kernels at a time, hide it on the ground.

But high-choking probability, just, you know, something to think about, I suppose, or in your teeth.

Yeah.

But, anyways, I got up there.

They were sold completely out of popcorn.

So I said, oh, fuck it.

Give me the nonchos.

I sold out of nonchos.

So I ended up with

a huge hot dog, like a Snoopy special hot dog, like a quarter pound hot dog

and a bag of flaming hot

Cheetos

and Skittles, which I don't eat sugar really.

And I certainly am not eating Skittles if I'm going to eat sugar.

I'm going to eat like a candy bar of chocolate.

Yeah.

So I got back to the seat and I was just trying to be pretty quiet about it.

Now I have an enormous tray of food.

By the way, sincerely, none of this occurs to me for whatever reason.

I just don't think.

You're not thinking you're on TV.

I don't think, oh, hey, guy, you're the the only person in the first six rows with the tray of food on you.

Yeah.

I literally don't even think about it.

I was like, I'm hungry.

I got nothing to do here.

I'm not nominated.

They're not cutting to me.

Well, they might.

So I'm pounding this hot dog.

And

all of a sudden I hear, Dex, Dex.

And I look over.

I posted this video.

Yes, I saw.

And yes, Sarah Paulson's recording me and she's

friend of the pot.

By the way, so many friends of the pot at this thing.

It was so fun.

like half the people are nominated it was it was it was i really liked that a lot i just really liked it i was like everyone in this room is human yeah not gonna see everyone be human for two hours and that's really cool in the past when i'd go to these things there's all these different people and i'm imagining what they are and they're you know and i'm applying the status and stuff but this was i think for the first time ever at an orchestra i was like oh yeah there's a room full of people Yes, I love that.

And I'm happy for him.

It's really cool what they did.

And then, and it's just really like a room full of people and it was great.

I'm like whispering to Seth Rogan once, because I'm a huge fan of Tony Gilroy.

He wrote and directed Michael Clayton.

He also wrote Andor.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

So then I see the nomination for Andor and it's for like, it's for Mike Gilroy.

And I'm like, what?

Does Tony go by Mike?

And then I like lean over and I'm like, if there's one guy in this audience that'll know, it's Seth Rogan.

This motherfucker knows every single thing about him.

I lean over and I'm like, Seth, does Tony have a brother?

And he's like, yeah,

two brothers.

And then it was the brother that won.

And then he mentioned the third brother who's also writing the show.

So this is so fun.

I'm like getting info from him and I'm staying dialed into what's going on.

But anyway, so that hot dog thing happens.

Yeah.

And then friend of a pod, Sam Rockwell, has left his seat and comes over and just goes, buddy, you killing that hot dog is the funniest thing.

I've been watching you eat that hot dog.

Oh my God, the whole room.

Now I realize everybody's been watching me eat this hot hot dog.

And then Sam leaves and I look at him to say goodbye.

And then I catch eyes with Seth Rogan and Ike, Baronolds, and Seth's like,

you ate that thing like a corn on the cob.

And I'm like, oh, I,

oh, no.

Everybody there was watching me fucking pound this hot dog because I didn't want to eat the bun.

So I was like eating it kind of crazy.

And I'd put a ton of ketchup and mustard and mayonnaise on it because I wanted more calories because they didn't have any food for sale.

Oh my.

So I just, I had a moment where I was like, oh my God, I was being stared at by a lot of people.

You were the jester.

Accidentally, I was the jester.

And I think if I saw me,

I would think I was doing a bit, but I wasn't doing it.

I don't know why, because I'm still.

Well, no, it's a pattern.

This is why I would think that.

Because the other time when I was watching the

Lions game at the Golden Globes.

Oh, right.

On my phone.

Yeah.

Again, I thought I was just having this very secret moment where no one knew i was looking down at my phone yeah and then kristen had recorded me and posted and became kind of a funny thing yeah but i don't think the room was paying the room wasn't but if i add up that little boopsies with this now this hot dog gate

If I, and I was cynical, I didn't like me already.

I'd be like, this guy's just, he's never nominated these things.

Why is he there?

Yeah, why is he there?

Why does he go there and have to do something stupid each time?

Oh, interesting.

So I kind of had accidentally backed into another

little thing.

I mean, but it was,

I was fine with it, of course.

They sell food.

Yes.

So obviously people are, if it was all sold out, people ate.

Yes.

Well, I had seen.

Oh, another fun thing I'll say is Chloe 70 was directly in front of me.

She's so fashion.

She's so fashion.

She's so cool.

Yeah, I know.

I was with her one time with my friend Leslie, and I just thought she was really cool.

And I've I've always thought she was really cool.

So when she

was, she was nominated.

And when she didn't win, and the other person came up, and the second the camera was off her, because I didn't want anyone to see this, I slid her $20.

Okay.

Okay.

She turned around.

She's like, wait.

She was laughing.

And then she was like, tried to give it back to me.

I go, no, you must keep it because if people say, sorry, you lost.

You go, oh, no, no, I won $20.

Okay, great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So she's the one who had been sneakily eating some popcorn where I got the idea.

Yeah.

I imagine people have to eat.

I guess the line was at popcorn before people were going to look at it.

The nachos were

sold out.

Yeah, it must have been folks in the back.

Or before the show started, maybe.

Or in the breaks, when they, maybe they buy it in the lobby and eat it all in the lobby.

But I carried this huge tray back to my seat and no one said anything to me.

There was ushers everywhere.

Right.

Wow.

Yeah, that's funny.

I ended.

I mean.

So now I guess I'm kind of pot committed to this.

Now it is going to have to become a big

I'm going to have to play like a trumpet in the middle of something.

I know.

I'm sorry, but that's my response.

As soon as it turns into on purpose, it's not

ugly.

Yeah.

And it's about you and attention and I actually feel confident I'll accidentally do that.

Yeah, just let yourself be.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it was a good, it was a good, it was a really good time and I

felt like kind of a moment of growth, which is like, I didn't feel better than anybody and I didn't feel less than anybody.

Good.

Yes.

That was a great feeling.

This is the thing I'm always trying to tell you.

Do you think maybe I'm just ahead of your time?

Probably.

You're probably way ahead of your time.

We don't always, it's not always, status isn't always a bound.

And it doesn't.

Well, it always is.

And then you participate in it sometimes or you don't.

It doesn't have to be.

It's the way you perceive it.

Yeah.

You can,

it's hard, but you can remove yourself from it.

Write it down.

But I didn't do anything to earn it.

I just kind of felt that way, which was nice.

Yeah, great.

Well, I'm glad.

I'm glad.

Better than fainting.

Did you see some one like

lady?

It was some political thing.

It was like her first day.

Maybe she was French or something.

And she passed out.

And there's video.

And it looks so scary.

She's making a speech.

Like, they're all up there doing, yeah.

Like, she wasn't in the middle of talking.

Somebody else was talking, but it was like four podiums.

and then she just like watching someone pass out is so weird yeah to see the human body just like get out yeah is quit very scary yeah and um

you ever fainted i yeah i had this weird passing out thing which then caused all this anxiety about passing out oh okay uh but you passed out on the bike riding it at soul cycle no when did you pass out i passed out babysitting it was a whole thing and it was really scary.

What age?

Um,

it was while I worked at Soul Cycle.

Oh, okay.

An adult.

Not like babysitting when you were a kid.

No, no, no.

It was during that time.

Okay.

Anywho, just watching someone's body give out, but she said low blood sugar.

So like, you could have passed out and it would have been so

big.

Exactly.

You would have taken out the body.

I would look like a dum-dum.

Like, oh, look at that big, dumb guy.

He just like fell over.

Yeah.

This big ogre fell over.

I have never fainted thank god i hope you don't i feel confident i'm not gonna

thank you um speaking of fainting bodies giving out health stuff tell everyone the story you told me the other day oh oh okay great yes another highlight thank you highlight this was really just a highlight for you i was excited to tell you yes I know Wiley was seated, I think, two rows behind me.

So on one of my many trips to try to get food, I saw him and I kind of locked eyes with him.

So, I walked over and I introduced myself to him.

I'm like, hey, no, I'm Dax.

Nice to meet you.

And he said, Oh, yeah, I was on your hay ride this year.

And I'm like, You were on my hay ride?

And he goes, Yeah, I was on the hayride last year.

And I go, Why didn't you say hi?

And he goes, I don't know.

You were driving.

I didn't think you'd necessarily want me to say hi.

And I'm like, Well, I'm delighted you on there.

And he said, He goes, Man, you make some sharp turns.

And I go, i'm so glad you say that i only go through all the effort of doing it so that people will compliment me on how tight the course is

but he did he he he he couldn't wait to tell me how impressed he was with the turn into the alley

isn't that great i mean it's hard for you made it about you and it's about me he was

sitting next to me somehow probably

and i didn't even know he must have been full mask or something oh my god and it's un also we had this we've had this with a couple of guests that were on the hayride that we don't know about.

But no one's more exciting than Noah Wiley.

No one's more exciting.

It's extremely exciting, but I can think of a couple people.

Like if Jay-Z said he was on the hayride, I'm going to be a little more excited.

Okay, again, that's your preference.

That's my thing.

Okay.

My preference is to be on the hayride with Noah Wiley.

I'm not going to be able to get the field this year.

Yes.

Do you think maybe he was one of the ones that came into the house that wasn't supposed to come into this?

He's like, hey man, I took your hay ride and I shit in your bathroom.

I came for a free hamburger and then I was like, oh, this place must be open to two.

Mary Amanda Knox.

Yeah.

Anyway, I am delighted about this.

It feels like a good start.

And then I DM'd him to invite him on the show.

Yes.

I knew I smelled something really good on the hayride, but I never could identify it.

And now, mystery solved, it was him.

It was his pheromones.

Now, did you consider telling him that

we talk about

the pit constantly on the show, big fans?

He comes up all the time.

I want him to do surgery on my body.

I did consider saying my co-host is obsessed with you, and I hear about the pit all the time.

And then I realized they're being celebrated tonight, right?

Like me telling him someone's obsessed with the show felt

extraneous in a given, given the amount of acclaim they were receiving that night.

It felt like, yeah, duh, don't you see what's happening?

We're winning every award.

Everyone loves it.

I think a line reading could have been.

Okay.

We'll start with hi.

Hey, I'm Dax.

Oh, okay.

Hey, I'm Dax.

Oh, Noah.

Noah, nice to meet you.

I was on your hayride.

What?

Yeah, yeah.

What do you mean?

In your neighborhood, I was on your hayride.

You were making those like crazy tight turns.

Like, it's crazy.

Oh, well, let's talk about my co-host.

Thanks for the compliment, but she

is obsessed with you.

You're co-host of what?

Oh, I have a podcast.

Oh, we're dead.

See, we're dead in the water.

Because that could have happened.

No.

Now I'm explaining to him what a podcast is.

Oh, Monica, you must acknowledge it's so high risk.

No, it's not.

And this is why I'm self-conscious.

Okay.

I

know.

And it's not a fair comparison.

I know.

It's not a fair comparison.

And everyone's going to be mad at me for saying this probably, but this is where my head's at.

Okay.

So I got to.

Yeah.

You would have no problem

saying

Kristen's obsessed with your show.

She loves it so much.

Because I know 100% they know who Kristen is.

So I do not walk around assuming Noel Wiley knows I have a podcast called Armchair Expert.

I don't, I don't.

I don't, I don't ever assume someone knows it.

Right.

If they bring it up, I'd love to talk about it, but I never say my show,

our show, this show.

I don't ever do that.

Because I don't assume everyone knows.

Yeah, but you could say I have a podcast and my co-host is.

That sounds terrible.

I have a podcast.

Well, we already have agreed on this.

We know it's embarrassing to say I have a podcast.

We already dealt with this.

We were sitting at a table.

It said podcasts, and we were embarrassed.

So, but then you said the goal is to invite him on the podcast.

Yeah, so how are you going to do that if you can't tell me?

I'm going to meet him.

I'm going to be nice and likable.

And then his publicist is going to pitch him how every guest comes on this show.

And he's going to go, Oh, I met the guy.

He's pretty cool.

I'd love to.

His co-host is obsessed with me, apparently, and wants me to do surgery.

So I'll definitely go on

anyway.

Anywho, facts.

Okey-dokey.

Dominique fike.

I loved this episode.

Yeah.

I really did.

What a.

He's got the MKG.

Yes.

You want to, you really, I'm sure every woman is.

MGK.

MGK.

MGK.

I'm sure a lot of women want to just protect him.

Well, that's very,

I mean, yes.

It's a little, it's a little

cliche, but I guess it's true.

But also, it's not.

It's like, there's just something admirable about a person

who has

been put through the fucking ringer and is like

smiling and thinking about it in positive ways.

Using it to create.

Yeah, using it to create, not letting it kill him.

Yeah.

Is admirable.

It is.

And there's something like

a twinkly, like, just like in his eye.

I don't know.

I, I, I, I liked him a lot.

He's very playful.

Yeah.

He's like a nice boy.

Would you date him?

I mean, he's very young.

He's too young.

But he's very attractive.

He's too young.

He's very attractive, but he's too young for me.

How old was he?

He's about to be 30.

If you are my brother's age.

Okay, that's the, I get it.

I can't do it.

I get it.

You have the brother in the mix.

But 30 is an adult man.

I know, but.

I bet he has pubic hair and stuff.

I've shared a shower with my brother, so I would assume he does have pubic hair.

But

yeah, that's a sticking point point for me.

Anyone who is my brother's age or below is a baby.

They'll just be a baby forever.

Even when my brother's below.

Oh, when you're 58 and the person's 50.

Still.

Really?

Even when it's an old grizzled man like me?

They're babies.

Just a little baby.

Actually,

there were times when Dominic was talking that I was like, I would like see my brother.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Because

they're the same age.

And so some of the ways they were talking and certain mannerisms, I was like, oh my God, are generational.

I think generational boys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, so that was sweet.

But also

my brother has a girlfriend.

Yeah.

And it's so exciting for me.

Yeah.

Wonderful.

I think it's so wonderful.

Yeah.

And I'm so happy.

Yeah.

And,

you know, I don't know where it will go,

but I had this set, this like feeling where I was

like, there's no other feeling other than just being so happy yeah

because he's my he's your brother but he's also your son because of the age yeah and you want him to not be lonely yeah

it makes me so it makes me feel like I'm so much

happier about that development than I am if I had a boyfriend to bring to the table.

Like I prefer this, that just like he's good and he's happy and

I feel that way about Carly and Yurt.

Like, I'm just so happy that Carly has had Yurt for so long.

It's really great.

And then even the idea, like, what if they, like, I've taken it so far, like, what if they have kids and they're going to bring maybe these little babies to Christmas and I get to play with these babies?

That is.

And I get to pay for their college.

And like, it's just so cute.

And there was, there's also something like energizing about it for me.

I feel so excited that there might be like new energy in the dynamic.

Now, yeah, that is fun.

It's fun.

And

she will make him grow as partners meet.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now,

I love it.

One shouldn't care about this, but

I do.

Yeah.

Which is,

do you have any sense of relief of like,

I want my parents to know that they carried on and I might not facilitate that.

And I'm comforted for them that the Padmans may live on.

So I talk to them about this.

They don't care.

They don't.

They're so interesting.

They really don't care about that, about like, about like the legacy or the seed continuing or the name continuing or anything.

It makes me sad.

Like if I think about my dad and the shepherds and Papa Baba and Grandma and that I ended that line, that

I would have a hard time.

I have some guilt about that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, this isn't helpful.

And I'm saying, it doesn't make any sense.

Why do we care if one genetic pool carries on or not?

I don't know why I care.

Well, it makes sense.

You kind of feel like, I feel like, oh, they die for good if that doesn't happen.

Yes.

Right?

Like, there'll be no one here to care.

that they were here.

Yes, correct.

These are the feelings.

Yeah, they're deep.

Yeah, they are.

They are.

But then you also have, you can't do it for that.

No, of course not.

So, yeah, when

she came into the picture and I was talking to my parents and I said that, I was like, well, good.

At least we know.

Yeah.

At least we know someone's going to carry this on.

Yeah.

And

they like laughed and they were like, we don't care about that.

Yeah.

Like they, I think, want little babies around right now.

Like that sounds fun for them.

Right.

But also they don't,

they're like, fine if that doesn't happen.

And they're all, and they don't care about the name being spread.

And they're bizarrely healthy and evolved.

They're very healthy and evolved.

Thank God because they got me.

So like I don't, although maybe I wouldn't be, I probably wouldn't be me if they weren't that.

Well, of course not.

I would probably want to do what they wanted me to do and I would do it.

Yeah.

Beat yourself up or not do it and feel guilty.

Or I would just do it and then be miserable.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, so I'm lucky.

Yeah.

But anywho, so that was exciting.

This is all very exciting.

Yeah.

And to be clear, I don't care for me.

Like, I don't care if my children have children for me so that someone remembers me.

It's really just about like my

dad and my mom.

Yes.

It goes the other way.

My grandparents.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it like, also, it's like, what does it mean?

They didn't live like they did.

And death is death to me.

Like, I know.

And they're dead.

I mean, except they are and they're not because there is some truth to like, we don't know what to do.

My home's so alive right now.

As long as I'm here, he's so alive.

Yeah.

You know?

This is unhelpful.

Anyway, okay.

Some facts.

Okay.

So somatic therapy.

Somatic therapy.

I'm doing it.

Explores how the body expresses deeply painful experiences, applying mind-body healing to aid with trauma recovery.

Since disturbing feelings often show up in the body in debilitating ways, somatic therapy aims to drain those emotions of their power, relieving pain and other manifestations of stress, such as disrupted sleep or an inability to concentrate.

These types of emotions can stem from a variety of conditions and circumstances that somatic therapy may potentially help alleviate.

They include PTSD, complicated grief, depression, anxiety, trust and intimacy issues, self-esteem problems.

Can't imagine there's a human on earth without one of those.

Yeah, I agree.

You know, it's funny.

I had therapy this week and she said something really interesting because I was having this period

of

anxiety

that felt really

old.

And I was having all these like old feelings come up that I thought I had like said goodbye to fully put to rest and were gone.

So then, of course, then I was like mad at myself.

I'm like, why, why this again?

This is back.

Like, what?

It was a failing on your part.

Yeah.

And, um, and she said an interesting thing.

She said, with loss brings back old losses.

Mm-hmm.

So there's a current loss.

All these old things that are similar in feeling and body come back to the surface.

Yeah, that makes sense.

So you smell something that's from 20 years ago.

You smelled it.

It reminds you of that whole thing.

Yeah.

And so you kind of have to walk through those emotions again,

which is hard, but good to know that like that's what's happening.

Anyway, that just reminded me of somatic therapy.

Oh, he mentioned drinking Kahlua.

They would steal from friends' parents.

And I was like.

this is such a universal thing.

That was my first drink.

I think it's most people.

I know.

Because it's a milkshake.

But also like...

Because alcohol tastes terrible when you first try it.

Right.

But I don't know anyone who has Kahlua.

Anymore.

Anymore.

It does feel very 90s,

80s, 90s.

Yeah.

I wonder what the new one is.

I'll tell you when it looks so good as in

The Dude.

The big dude.

The White Russian.

The White Russian.

Yeah.

When they'd make those at the bar.

Like, I remember watching that and just being like, fuck, I'm so mad I didn't drink White Russians.

They look so good.

That's thick.

Yeah, it's fack.

That's really fack.

Okay, the Cirqu Lodge,

we kind kind of like, we talked about it in a way that it's as if everyone knew what it was because the three of us do know what it is, but it is a rehab center.

Yeah.

And I think they do multiple things.

I don't know if it's just addiction.

I think there's a lot of different.

Oh, yeah.

The studio, Cirqu Lodge, Studio, Alcohol and Drug Rehab Facility.

Luxury Rehab.

Luxury Rehab.

Yeah.

Highly rated.

Okay.

How long does

I'm going to get so many flags?

Cause how long I looked up, how long does Coke last in your system oh yeah how long um

how long is it detectable it says detectable if someone has used cocaine only once it usually detectable in urine for around three to five days someone who takes a larger dose or uses it occasionally it may show up in urine for three to seven days for frequent or heavy cocaine users five to 14 days after the last dose

So, okay, I looked up that if you can go 14 days between using Coke, then you're not really a heavy user.

It's all kind of circular.

True.

Okay, now weed.

I looked up weed as well.

Single first-time user, up to three days.

Moderate user, which is a few times a week, five to seven days.

Chronic user, 10 to 15 days.

Heavy chronic user, which is multiple times a day, 30 days or longer.

I had always heard 30 days.

Okay, so you got to really.

But maybe that's someone who's every day.

Yeah.

Pedal to the metal.

And then meth.

Oh.

When I looked that up, I did get like a

hotline.

Oh, you did.

Uh-huh.

Which is great.

Yeah.

It says meth can be detected in urine, blood, saliva, and even hair for different periods of time that vary from person to person.

In general, it's much longer than you'd expect.

Although the high for meth may only last a few minutes to a few hours, a drug can remain in your body for a much longer period of time.

It's not saying specifics, which is, oh, this says can

stay in your urine for up to five days.

Well, what is wild is

I have had drug tests show up for meth

from

pseudophat.

Yeah, it happened.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know.

I mean, I truly haven't done meth in 23 years.

Yeah.

Um, but I, when I was taking drug tests, yeah.

There was a period where I was like, what is this?

Yeah.

And I had to go like, what is, what is going on?

And that is I had taken pseudophat.

Right.

But it also says your meth can be found in a half-inch hair sample for up to 90 days.

Okay.

There's no getting away with that one, it sounds like.

Let's just leave that one alone.

Yeah.

Okay.

The act that is there to combat prison rape is called PRIA.

It stands for Prison Rape Elimination Act in 2003.

Okay, good.

So that's amazing.

I'm glad they finally.

I think there was a big period where they were like tough shit.

Yeah, exactly.

You went to prison.

Like, that's on you.

You deserve it.

Yeah.

Which is gnarly.

I know.

That was so crazy that his cellmate was murdered his family.

Yeah.

I mean,

wow.

Okay.

Now, you're going to be really interested in this.

So we took a pee break

and then you asked if his stream was ropey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then we got on to the subject of does a larger penis mean you have a

thicker stream?

And so I looked this up.

Having a bigger penis is linked to a slower urine stream due to the longer length of the urethra.

You were right.

Thank you.

And I was like, no, but you were right.

However, it just makes sense.

I guess.

However, a slow stream is more strongly influenced by other medical conditions with penis size having a minor indirect.

Yeah, I think your prostate has a lot to do with it.

Sure.

I think when guys have really enlarged prostates, it's like constricting everything in the vas deference and urethra.

And then it's just a dribble, drip, drip, drip.

Or I see guys all the time at the urinal and they're like trying to get it going.

And I'll like do my whole thing.

Well, it makes sense if anything's expanded or bloated.

Yeah.

Because sometimes, even when I've, if I'm on my period

or if I have a tampon in,

when you, which is often, as it turns out,

um, it's harder for me to pee.

I don't know if that's just my body, but for me, it makes sense too.

Cause like then everything's like stuck, yeah, yeah, constricted.

Yeah.

So, but luckily for me, I barely ever wear tampons.

Yeah.

And you barely pair.

Correct.

Yeah.

Correct.

You're hitting us from a lot of different angles.

But that's why it's a little, it's uncomfortable if I have to pee because

I don't pee often.

So when I pee, there's a fair amount of pee.

So if I have a tampon in and I can feel like it needs to come out, it's like it's uncomfortable.

Yeah, too much pressure.

All right.

Oh, the happy Pharrell thing.

It is despicable, me me too.

And yeah.

And a lot of bats before he cranked it out of the park.

That's it.

Well, I loved him.

Me too.

So cute.

I want to take care of him.

I want to buy a house, and me, him, and Machine Gun Kelly all live in it.

Oh, that'll be fun.

You can do a lot of hugging and comforting one another.

And that'll be fun.

A little bit like crying.

Oh, cute.

Yeah.

Okay, bye.

Let's go.

Love you.

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