Mom's Car: Briegh Morrison

Hello and welcome to Mom's Car.

Today is an incredibly special episode.

Again, for anyone that listened to Armchair Expert over the last seven and a half years, you've probably heard me talk a bazillion times about my ex-girlfriend Brie Morrison, who I still just adore to no end.

She's such an incredible person, an incredible mom.

She's just gone through an incredible journey, and I'm just delighted that we finally got to sit down and talk and introduce her to everybody in the armchair world.

So please enjoy my ex-girlfriend, Brie Morrison.

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Don't you find it kind of charming that Kristen could drive any car and this is her car, an entry-level Chevy Bolt?

I mean, yes, I feel the same way about myself.

i'm like this is the one i want and also i don't want to wash it yeah it's not for you just gets dirty you got the right color for that which is white i got the absolute last one it was like covid mad dash yeah it was 2021 okay yeah terrible time to buy a vehicle

and i just had to get a vehicle mine was due at the lease shop or whatever so i was like i've got to go get it now What did you come out of into that van?

What had you been driving?

Volkswagen.

You don't even know.

Ferrari.

You don't care.

Volkswagen Ferrari?

Yeah.

No, it wasn't an SUV.

Yeah.

I think I do know the name of that.

Again, it was like I was trying to eat outside my class.

Like, I believe Erin was originally the one.

Tyrell, remember?

Dyrell, yeah.

You can't have lobster.

I can't eat outside my class.

Yeah, the people in the Middle Ages would die if they had like steak.

I don't know where he would have learned that, but

I actually use that a lot.

In fact, the more money we have, the lower I go in general.

Have you known?

I'm like, I don't need to keep up with that.

That's not me.

Right, but have you been infected with anything?

Because like I can admit the things that I've been infected with.

It's humiliating.

No, not jewelries.

Jewelries are mine.

I like a jewelry clothes.

You still like a nice jewelry.

And I also still like vintage clothing, but I like real nice vintage clothing.

You go but get it from the real real?

Where do you get your vintage clothing?

I get it from this place AMT vintage in Pasadena.

I'll get like, you know, the used Gucci bag.

Oh, sure.

So they have high-end.

They have high-end, but it's used, and it's already a little bit trashed.

Like I got these Chanel flats.

So it looks like you've owned it for a while.

Yeah.

Or I just don't mind because I will trash it.

Yeah.

Like I can't not trash things.

Just fast forward.

I'm just a trash person.

You're a trash monster.

You've always been a trash monster.

Always.

So it will get dirty and gross.

So I might as well.

But I still like the fancy.

But you and I, well, all three of us come from a modest background.

You and I were broke for a decade together.

And I do certain things now where I go, like, wow, I can't believe I'm this person.

I don't have much shame or guilt about it.

I've worked through most of it, but hotels, I'm such a fucking snob.

Like when you go to an incredible hotel on vacation, for me, it makes it so much better because then I don't care what we do.

I'm just delighted to be at the hotel.

We were at a terrible hotel last year in Norway.

And I was like, I can't believe how uncomfortable.

This is really humiliating.

I can't do it.

How much this is rooming.

I was like, mismatch pillowcases, some silk, which I hate.

I don't want public silk.

Communal silk.

no.

Silk for like you and yourself.

Maybe your wife.

I like a nice hotel, but I also still.

That hasn't gotten yet.

No.

Like we're driving up to Washington.

We just need to stay at like a dog-friendly motel somewhere.

Like, I'll be okay with that.

Although we are staying in a hotel that I really love.

You're the McMiniman's branch branch.

Okay.

There's like...

I need to get hip to it.

Well, McMinniman's is a series of hotels.

You can get points if you stay at them a lot, but they convert old cool places.

So they've converted this old nunnery, this like Franciscan nunnery into a hotel.

In Seattle?

In Bend, Oregon.

So it's like on the way because we're driving up.

Do you remember the time we slept in Stockton on the way to go to your house, your parents' house?

And there was like a drug dealer next door and it was getting progressively crazier throughout the night.

And then there was like people being thrown against the wall.

And we were like, oh, is there going to be shots fired through the wall?

But I feel like that was a lot of stops on the way on the motorcycle trip as well.

Yes.

When you would just be like,

after like 10 hours, I mean, I was sleeping on the back obviously.

Yeah, you were just like Aaron on our road trips.

Ray slept at least half of the ride from Detroit to California.

I was on the back of the motorcycle.

Yeah.

I was all asleep.

I wasn't even a strap.

What were your plans versus?

Because you intended to do a ton of reading on the back of the motorcycle.

I did do a bunch of reading.

Yeah.

Like with an actual book.

Yeah, you could just open it right up.

You could just really do a lot of reading.

Were the pages?

No, because you just hold it tight.

Hold it tight.

Don't hold on to the motorcycle at all.

I just love two, like there's no pictures from that era.

You know, no one, I'm like, did I, did it happen?

Yeah, you're so right.

We took no pictures.

We took one picture that was really high priority to me, which is you were driving the cop car.

Oh, yeah.

And you were next to me on my Harley.

And I had the cruise control on and I was sitting on the back seat.

There we go.

Like looking because you could put it on your credit card if you got a Harley credit card.

You should have been reading back then.

I should have had one of your books.

One of the greatest things I ever did was that stretch of highway where there's no exit, so there's no cops.

Right.

And I went like 135 miles an hour.

And that was to this day, like thrilling.

That's very fast for you.

How fast can you go?

How fast does a car go?

Oh, well, it depends which one you're on.

But that's...

That cop car.

How fast did that go?

Oh, probably 130.

Yeah, 135.

I mean, it had to go to 135.

It went at least.

Well, I guess I went over.

Like, it went as fast as the thing showed.

And it was so thrilling.

And I only did it for about 15 seconds because it was so scary.

That ranks for me the Harley trip in the summer.

It was 10 days.

We rode from bar to bar to bar.

Remember when we went to Wisconsin and we bought everyone in the bar a drink?

Cause they were like 25 cents.

It was 20 cents.

And it was flooded.

So people had taken their rowboats to the bar from like to the bar.

How did you

cycle through that?

No, I mean the highway wasn't flooded.

This was is like down locals.

The valley was flooded.

Have you been to those bars in Wisconsin?

Where you're in someone's house?

Like there's just bars in people's houses.

I love them.

Yes.

And I went on quite a few trips.

I'm sad we never got to do one together.

Yes.

And probably a blessing.

Well, probably, yeah.

But yeah, I love those bars.

Everyone has a Paps Blue Ribbon sign in front of their porch.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

So you can just go in.

Anyone can have a liquor.

Yeah, that's a very

Wisconsin-y thing.

Yeah.

For sure.

where's that trip rank for you i actually talk about that one a lot well also because it was just so visceral yes you would be so dirty your arms would just be so dirty because we had to put so much sunblock on when you had that drink at the end you were so good because it was just

like because we put on a lot of hours in a day

you deserve those drinks yeah you did yeah it's only like rustic inn right there was a real an old haunch of yours

what was the fred eric's restaurant you worked at?

A Vita?

Vita, a Vita.

Just Vita.

The one thing I'm really sad about from the fires is he had a wine key made for me that was engraved with DJ Bree because I would make all the mixes for the restaurant.

And somehow it got thrown away with the cleanup, you know, because they threw away a lot of like silverware and stuff and I can't find it.

My house didn't burn down, so I'm pretty lucky.

It didn't burn down, but it really lost a wine key.

But it's poisoned with lead.

No, you can wash it.

Okay.

And I don't use it that much anymore because I don't drink.

So I'm like, no, no, no, no, the house.

Oh, the house.

I'm still thinking about the wine cake.

No, the house is filled with toxic lead.

It's supposed to be five, and ours is 200.

And this is after it was cleaned.

Wait, it's supposed to be five and a half.

Five is like the UG level for floors interior.

And I just wiped it up after the cleaning and it was 200.

Now, but have you considered you never tested it before the fires?

Not before the fires.

By the way, the other rooms are not that high the windows in the kitchen and the living room blew open with the fire so the smoke came into the living room and all the other doors i closed because i was actually very good like post-apocalyptic person yeah i had every battery out isaac was testing the batteries we filled every headlamp because you know the power was out i had the extra water containers and the backpacks yeah on it really good where did you guys safe harbor at we went to the omni downtown and just kept looking for hotels until we found one we had a bunch of people at our house.

Oh, yeah.

You offered.

Thank you.

That was nice.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

I forgot I did that.

It was fun.

Oh, I bet.

I always feel guilty about this.

COVID was fun.

9-11 was so fun.

Oh, my God.

You remember going?

Woke up and we were smoking cigarettes in bed, watching it.

God freaking bedrooms.

Smoking cigarettes.

We did.

We like literally lit up cigarette.

We were like, fuck it, we could smoke inside.

It's 9-11.

We didn't smoke in bed every day.

We didn't.

I think we did.

I remember I wouldn't really open my eyes until the cigarette was in my lips and I was about to light it.

The second I woke up, I was reaching for the soft back.

And then I would light it and then I'd be like, and then I'd open my eyes.

Do you think back on how absolutely terrible our apartment must have been for non-smokers?

We were hosting like Super Bowl parties.

Didn't they all smoke too?

No, Scotty had asthma and didn't smoke.

Nate.

Nate smoked only when he drank.

Yeah.

The whole world smelled like smoke back then, though.

Maybe less in California, but a little.

It was a tiny apartment.

Even I sometimes would be like, oh, it's very smoky.

It's so smoky.

That's so even smoky for me.

I actually think it's so funny.

I think about that apartment a lot right now because it was my like first remodel.

Because now I'm deep in remodeling again.

I actually really love it.

I made that apartment so freaking cute with that giant bookshelf that is the strongest thing that's ever been made.

The one I made for your birthday.

That was the hugest, biggest.

I think you put like two four by four stick next to each other.

Like it was thick.

Yeah, it's a little overbuilt.

Poor me.

Turn around.

Turn around.

Yes.

Bree, we had Tim Lovestead in here the other day.

Yeah.

A little blast from the past.

And Dax asked him, where did you guys meet?

And Tim's like, I think we met at your house in Santa Monica at the apartment.

Dax said, well, that must have been a real fucking smoky apartment if Aaron was there with me and Bree.

Yeah.

I don't don't remember it being but then again like my fondest memory is still holding the little ashtray in the center with my grandparents smoking and it was like a scottish checked pattern and i would just like let the sandbag and they would just

you know let the ash fall over my face yeah so cigarette smoke in interiors is actually like a proustian madeline for me yeah i like it i do know that you can i like that you can drink and drive yeah non-alcoholic beers well that's what we assume i don't know if you can or not.

I certainly have.

I think that's a good assumption.

Yeah.

I mean, you're not allowed to drink and drive.

I go in and get it.

Okay.

Oh, you were saying Tim, though.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

A smoky apartment.

So I should probably get back in nicotine, is what you're saying.

I like it.

I think it's good for you.

It's a good product.

And now you have all these different delivery systems.

I have the lozenge, of course.

But then also, this is just straight spray.

It's just straight nicotine.

Yeah.

There's no other bullshit in it.

I just feel like I've gotten over it.

You've gotten over it.

When's the last time you had nicotine?

Oh, geez.

Oh, I'll tell you.

Yeah, tell me.

The night before I started chemo.

Okay, good.

I went up on my roof and I smoked a cigarette and I like cried and said all the prayers like I want to make it while smoking a cigarette.

I'm like, I'm not going to do this anymore.

Yes.

It's probably not a good idea.

I didn't smoke for a long time, like until...

Isaac was like four near drowning.

I remember.

And that was very stressful as well.

That's the most haunting story I think I've

ever heard about a kid.

I just picked picked up a pack of cigarettes, and then my kids even know this.

Like, I just buy a pack of cigarettes, go behind a Target parking lot, smoke, leave it there,

the whole pack of it, leave it there, thinking that somebody else would want to smoke behind a Target parking lot.

It's an amazing place.

And I would come back like a week later, and sometimes a pack would still be there.

Oh my God, really?

LA?

Insane.

Yeah, the Eagle Rock one.

So basically, you're just keeping your cigarettes behind Target.

Yeah.

Yeah, basically.

Yeah.

And And they'd be in the car?

No.

Never smoked in the car.

No, no, no.

I mean, would they be waiting in the car as you were buying in a dart behind Target?

No.

Oh, okay.

No, no, no, no.

This was.

Because I feel like I'm going to run to Target and then I would go to Target and get the things I needed.

And then there's two Targets that I do this at.

There's one that's actually behind the old Macy's in Eagle Rock.

It's like more recycling on the side.

And every time I drive down the two and I look over, never see anyone there.

And I'm like, it's a missed opportunity.

Did you have one target you shopped at and one you smoked at?

No, I shopped and smoked those thing.

But I also would smoke behind the Lock and Yada one.

Will you tell Aaron that terrible story?

Oh, no.

You don't want to tell it.

I mean, I can tell the story.

It's like when Isaac drowned.

Yes.

It's just one of the most brutal stories I've ever heard.

I've told so many people that story.

I guess I should have asked you.

You're comfortable with it.

Well, let's just acknowledge this.

You're so part of us having kids, which is you probably wouldn't even remember doing this.

I remember I was in northern Michigan and you called me randomly and you said, do not miss this.

You had had a kid.

Yeah.

And you're like, you know me, I'm selfish.

And trust me, none of the work feels like it's work and you just can't miss it.

It's the greatest.

And of course, I already wanted to have kids, but I did get off the phone with you and I'm like, Let's go.

Yeah, let's go.

And I remember saying to Kristen, like, yeah, I just talked to Brie.

Just talked to my ex-girlfriend.

He said, it's time for us.

Let's do it.

Brie has advised us to procreate.

I think I might have also called you after the drowning and said, make sure your kid goes to swim to bill or one of those swimming classes.

Well, the thing is, he had already done one of those swimming classes.

It was like 11 a.m.

Cause of course, you know, like your first thing is like, I wasn't drinking.

I said to my friend, I was like, okay, you got.

eyes on Isaac.

I had paid to have a pool fence put up in the rental in Atlanta.

Yeah, your husband was producing a movie in Atlanta.

And then it was the very first day we'd used the pool.

We were in and out of the pool so much, I I just took down one of the panels.

And I'm sitting there, I'm holding her infant baby.

And all of a sudden, I just didn't hear Isaac chitter-chatter.

He's like, oh,

he liked to like talk, guys, you know, his little toys.

And I just didn't hear him.

And I stood up in the one, literal one section of the pool I could not see.

Yeah.

He was laying face down in it.

And I

ran across the water.

pulled up lifeless, just no breathing, no anything, threw him over the side, got up on my stomach here and started doing compressions.

And because I was a teacher or had been a teacher too, I like, I knew anyway, I got so confused.

I started doing the mouth thing too.

And you're only supposed to do chest compressions just PSA.

I started breathing and then he started going like, ooh, and I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

But he wasn't breathing enough.

How long were you doing chest compressions and stuff before he made a noise?

A minute.

I mean, I don't remember what you were doing.

I mean, I can't even imagine.

Wrench crying, like screaming the address out.

Come on, one, one,

whatever the address was.

I knew it.

I'm like screaming it.

The ambulance was there within five minutes.

I mean, it was absolutely insane.

But what ended up happening, the worst thing, is that I ended up aspirating vomit back into his lungs because of doing the breathing.

Oh, and by the way, you're the daughter of a firefighter.

If you can't get it right, what are the odds?

Anybody going to get it right?

Anyway, you know, he was 100% fine.

He's Mensa.

Yeah, he's golden, but you had like a big wave of depression after that.

Oh, huge.

Joya put me on like a benzo almost immediately and i was like no no no i don't actually like pills at all or even like i don't even take an advil i was like no no no i don't want to do it she's like oh no no you're at risk for advanced onset aging like you know like the people and i was like

give it to me give it to me you know like when the person's like his hair it's gonna whack into bright why like like obama yeah like stress like extreme stress will do that so that was why i took it and i remember i took it for like three days and it just basically tamps down you don't have the feelings.

Yes.

It makes it manageable.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't even know.

Anyway, how long were you fucked up over that?

I mean, no,

no, it's fine.

You know, I just think the guilt.

You just try to be such a good mom.

I don't know.

I don't remember.

I mean, probably not too long.

I tend not to.

Yeah, you keep it moving.

Here you go.

I hated that story so much.

I'm so glad I heard it because I was like, oh, right.

It can happen when you're doing everything.

I think I saved many children's lives.

And so none of these have come out.

Yeah.

No.

Okay.

No.

And they get edited so we can say whatever we want.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

It won't necessarily be on.

Yeah.

You smell good.

I've always wanted you.

I was telling Aaron that I keep trying to get this side so I don't give the camera my.

What do you got?

She's missing it.

Oh, you're missing it too.

From what?

Is that cancer rubber?

A little bit.

I got an infection.

I mean, I had like so many infections, it was insane.

Because your immune system is completely destroyed.

Yeah.

When you're doing chemo could we start at the beginning oh geez are you comfortable star angie i heard secondhand i'm very curious i have to say that the two saddest moments i've had for other people are both of you

like i've lost parents and step parents and when aaron got sick aaron got really sick a few years ago i probably didn't tell you well five and a half years ago six years ago six years ago now yeah okay yeah what did you have um basically this is what led to me getting sober sober.

Yeah.

Cancer led to me getting sober.

It's funny when the thing becomes a gift.

Like the hard thing.

But I also read, I don't remember, I keep trying to figure out which author it was, but I was in college and they were saying that like you're only able to experience the amount of joy in direct opposition to the amount of suffering that you've experienced.

Oh, wow.

So it's not that that should be a reason for like going down a dark road, but I wonder I'm so fucking happy.

Yeah, no, I know.

That's how I was I'm like, holy shit, I've never known joy like this before.

There's something about coming through that meat grinder of anything scary like that.

When you told me you had been diagnosed with cancer, I was pretty devastated.

Yeah, I heard

from Dax.

How did you discover it?

Well, what I really like is just how on trend I am because I feel like everybody.

You're nobody if you haven't.

No, I know.

Pretty much all the coolest.

That business is noise to talk about.

She ain't even been through cancer.

What's crazy is that I actually got not just my ammograms.

I got these extra breast ultrasounds because I had really big boobs and they were very dense.

And so I was- Does that up your odds?

It ups your odds for not being able to detect it.

So nothing detected it.

I was going to sort of a hippie-dippy naturopath-type doctor anyway, just, you know, optimize aging and doing different sorts of things.

And she kind of randomly called in an MRI.

She was like, you know, there's something.

One of my sonosines is what they're called.

They're this really elaborate ultrasound that goes in.

She's like, one of them was missing.

The clinic had changed ownership one of my images was missing she's like well something's different from this one and this one on the right side so she's like well let's get an MRI let's just do it somehow she called it and insurance paid for it I got it done there's nothing on this side this side lit up like a Christmas tree I had like 240 gram tumor it was 11 centimeters it was huge but it's lobular cancer so it grows like a slime mold with these tiny, you couldn't even feel it.

Even when I had the full tumor in there, you could not feel a lump.

It wasn't hard and dense.

dense it was like fluid it's like um it's not fluid but it just felt like

breast no i mean it didn't feel like anything yeah yeah thought it was like three centimeters but once she got in there she's like oh my gosh they can visually see it once they're in there once she's in there she could visually see

so when you've got that first mri

what's the response from everyone from the second they read it doctors are so clinical.

They were just like, you have breast cancer.

No, the MRI, then they did a biopsy.

Okay.

So they they don't know anything.

From the MRI, they're like, this doesn't look right.

Right.

And then they do a biopsy.

So they pull the tissue out and then they test it and then they know exactly what it is.

Yeah.

So it's lobular, stage 2B, but they didn't know.

how big or how much was in there.

So once they go in for surgery, she was able to get all the margins.

They took a bunch of lymph nodes, hadn't spread to my lymph nodes.

Okay, that's great.

But as you told me, it had left the breast, right?

And it made its way almost into your armpit.

No.

Well, it was really almost all the way to the

to the ribs

actually my surgeon did a great job

sorry no

okay so once they got in there though once they got in there they they took it out and then there's the cancer surgeon and then there's the reconstructive surgeon so he kind of tried to make the right one sort of match the left one but they had to take so much out of the left one that he didn't take as much out of the right so it's a little lopsided for a minute you know i didn't think i was going to have to do chemo but then they run your numbers and they're like you're this age and blah blah blah blah blah so then i ended up having to do chemo i did 30 rounds rounds of radiation last sun round.

30.

Yeah.

I mean, it was black.

The skin was like falling off.

So it's like getting a sunburn and then being like, all right, let's go to the beach.

You know, the next day, just get another sunburn.

Right after the surgery.

Six weeks after the surgery, I started chemo.

Six weeks after chemo, I started radiation.

Okay.

And then six weeks after radiation, they put me on all the med, which I'm now on.

And then I also had reconstruction.

And they basically take fat, which is great.

They take fat from like my waist.

And then they like,

oh, wow.

So they can't pump it up.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

You didn't have to have a

saline implant?

No, which is great.

But what was great is I had a lot to offer to take away.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Do you think that God smited you because you valued your boobs too much?

Well, that's what this is one of those people.

I actually feel like.

If I got a cancer, it would definitely be dick.

I definitely feel smoked.

Yes.

Pride goes before the fall.

Vanity is a sin.

I definitely was, I was so devastated about losing any of the tissue.

You're God's gift.

And now I'm like super stoked because I get like all these new clothes and they look different and I look thinner and I like it.

So I'm into it.

But again, you don't know what the gifts are going to be until you go through.

And how did you do with all the sympathy that came your way?

I tried to imagine all the different stages of this.

It's, of course, very hard to imagine someone looking at you and going, yeah, okay, so you have tons of cancer.

Like that's certainly a moment.

But I called you and I'm like, I just want to be with you.

I loved that part because I am super, super social.

I want to always be chit-chatting with people.

So anyone who wanted to like come around and hang out with me, but you kind of had three different camps.

You had the people who are just like, I want to spend as much time with you before you die.

Sure.

Or, you know, just I want to make sure I spend quality time with you.

Those I was like super happy.

And that was really fun.

There were the people who are just like,

Your cancer is too hard for me.

And they just kind of leave.

Like they're just gone.

Without naming anyone, were there a couple that shocked you?

Like, wow, we I thought we were closer than this, or yes, yeah, yes, there was there been residual damage from that, or you got over it.

I kind of get over it because, again, I'm an unlimited well of putting more conversation, just put in more people.

I just always want to be social, or it was just like where I would still hang out with them, but I had to do a lot of like, it's okay, yeah, control comforting.

Yeah, comforting them.

Most people were just fine.

I also love to get A pluses.

I've always got A pluses.

I'm like a 4.0 student.

And I got a fucking AP level A plus in cancer.

I'm not shocked.

No, I did so good.

I try to always explain.

When I try to explain our time together to people, I go, well, this was the pattern.

Whatever I did, Brie came and did much better immediately.

Like, I worked at shows and shoes, people like me.

You went there, and my mom was like, I want to give her the company.

I was very good at shows and shoes.

But I've also come to realize that about myself is that you aren't going to find someone who works more.

You know, like I'm always

moving, always cleaning, but I don't really like the pressure of big job.

Like, I don't know.

Right.

Let's keep that in mind for somewhere down the road in this conversation.

You cleaning a certain boat, maybe after sniffing a lot of drugs.

Do you remember this story?

Oh, no.

I don't know if I remember.

Tell it again.

I need to.

Oh, I don't know.

Cleaning a boat is something I've done so long.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

This is from my memory.

Yeah.

These are all, by the way.

From my iron claws.

Yes.

This is fact.

Let me give you some facts about

your life.

So Dean's house, Dean Nichols, Dean and Michelle, their first house, which they were the first to get a house

out of anybody.

They're the first kind of grown-ups.

We're at Dean's.

Now, Dax and I just talked about this.

Me bringing Meth back to Detroit.

Back to Detroit.

What a treat.

So cheap.

Doesn't fill you up.

You bring it low gallery.

Yeah.

A little, it will go a long way.

Or you can just do a whole bit and, you know, deal with it for a few, three or four days.

Yeah.

So I remember my first time, I think it was four days.

Like the fourth day was insane.

Yeah, yeah.

Where you are actually maybe losing your mind.

You might be too far gone, like that that kind of thing.

And I think it was this time because a lot of days went after this.

Like I remember days by myself and I was still rolling.

That was the worst experience of my life.

Right.

So I think day one, though, we're all partaking and partying.

Was I partaking?

Yeah, yeah.

If you recall, you have, I'm going to guess five times you did it.

Yeah, I was going to say, because I was not, because I wasn't needed.

My memory, ironclad.

I remember the girls like you doing a little, but then we were hoarding.

Yeah.

And you and I, especially.

And you were probably hoarding even more than from me.

Sure.

And then we hoarded from Dean and everyone else.

The layers of loyalty.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly.

I remember you guys did a little, but a little was enough.

And was it meth?

Yeah, it was fucking math.

Melissa, you'll remember because you were working.

We won't say your name, but you were working at Fred Siegel.

And the girls at Fred Siegel did meth.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

I mean, for the most part, the very first time we ever met, Nate and I were doing meth for the first time.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, that's what we did.

In Franklin Hills, actually.

Yeah, at like Brooks.

Brooks House.

Yeah, yeah.

So we had gotten it from one of your co-workers.

Okay, got it.

Around Michael Torina area.

I had brought it home on the plane so that they could try this great drug I had discovered.

That was amazing.

Which ended up being hell, I asked for more.

And I remember you sent me some further down the line.

But that was terrible.

Can you get more of that?

Yeah.

I mean, the first couple of days were great.

Yeah, sure.

When you're just horny and not crazy, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Those were fun.

And you can, you know, just drink an excessive amount.

So the next morning, this is what you have to remember.

Butch, Dean's dad, comes over because he always does this shit.

He comes over and it's like 10, 11 in the morning.

And we're all up

as if fuck.

We all try to pretend we're just getting up and we're having a good weekend and the fucking yard is fucked.

We're still drinking.

It gets a little uncomfortable, too much maybe for some to handle.

You, and I think Michelle, the boat was in the driveway and you were cleaning that fucking boat for

this really

seemed like the entire morning, like after the sun came.

I think it was before.

Yeah, when Butch showed up, you were already cleaning the boat.

Oh, I'm sure.

So you were cleaning the boat.

Dax was overly trying to compensate that, like to prove to him we are sober.

So sober.

So he fuck it.

Who would be cleaning?

He's just talking to him so much and chewing his lips off and

like to make it seem like it's normal.

Sure.

Yeah.

So, you know, that fucking, of course, we all know that horrifying feeling, like later knowing what we do.

Oh, yeah.

Like, oh my God.

Yeah, like we won't even let him go until we.

So anyway.

on account of just getting up and waiting to sleep.

Breakfast, we already had it.

Yep, we had it.

We woke up.

We were starving.

We have our full appetites.

I'm going to get that boat clean.

That's what the girls are doing.

We've got the clean quote.

Got the windows.

We're going to get on the boat.

We're going to work on the engine when they're done.

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I guarantee though, if you ask Dean Michelle, because I remember the boat being cleaned was my favorite part because I think it went on most of the day.

Oh, I'm sure.

Like once you got started, you wouldn't start.

I actually realized when I look back at I never was this crazy drunk all down ever, never.

No.

But I will look back and be like, oh, I was trying to be so on top of everything in my life in order for nobody to like, you know, question having a little extra or whatever, which is this weird thing.

And it probably just started even back then.

Well, I always think too, you were in a tricky position to ever evaluate your drinking because you lived with someone who was going very hard all the time and doing drugs.

Yeah.

And so relative to me, you had your ship fully together.

You could have had a roommate that you might have been like, oh, I drink a lot.

I mean, I drink much more than she does.

Or like Scotty.

Scotty was a heavy drinker, but he had to say to me, you can't drink at my house anymore.

Like, so relative to me.

Yes.

I also stopped drinking as much.

You know, I wasn't binge drinking when I was a working person and stuff.

So I feel like, oh, well, that was then.

That's when I was partying in my 20s.

And that was like an era.

And now I'm a responsible drinker.

Yes.

I weirdly have become grateful that I didn't have a drinking habit that was in the gray zone.

Mine was just so obviously untenable that I had to stop.

And I just have a lot of friends who it's like, they're not sure if it takes more than it gives.

Sure.

It's like hard to figure that out.

I feel like I felt like that for a long time.

Yeah.

And I've always just kind of been more like, I almost would rather just be a drunk and then you got to quit and then you don't even have to even ever evaluate it anymore.

Yeah.

Once it's over.

Well, how did your parents take it?

Because now obviously that you have kids, I just can't imagine that call.

They kind of went into go mode.

My mom, she came down.

You're your mother's daughter.

Yeah, exactly.

She came down for the surgery.

She had all my like meds ready to go and just was really taking care of the household, taking care of the kids, doing all of that.

One of my favorite things is there was like a journal, my meds after the surgery.

and then it was all brie thinks brie is i wish i remember like bree thinks brie is okay brad thinks bree's not okay

i thought i was like totally fine but i was on like oxies and stuff you know

brie thinks brie's okay but brad's not so sure not so sure that's so funny my dad was good too they were perfect not alarmist and then joya of course went into full doctor mode yeah and was just a good time to have a best friend that's an er doctor.

Every really walked me through the emotional parts that were really the hardest part of all of it.

Yeah.

Was the fear.

She deserves a shout out too.

When my dad was diagnosed, I called her.

I was like, here's what the diagnosis is.

And she goes, yeah, there's nothing that can be done.

He's going to die in a few months.

And so.

proceed accordingly.

And I was like, oh my God, I'm so glad someone just told me.

We have no magic silver bullet for small cell carcinoma.

Don't waste your time trying to fly to some other state.

Just get in there and spend as much time.

Go hang out.

Yeah, yeah.

actually, one of my biggest regrets was not reaching out to your dad before.

It was hard, but I felt like it wasn't my place.

So I just didn't.

I did reach out to buttons.

You did?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I reached out to you.

Oh,

your mom and buttons before.

Dave buttons.

Oh, sweet Dave buttons.

Were you on the trip where he got named Dave Buttons?

I maybe.

Oh, yeah.

You told me, but I feel like.

I don't know.

We went twice to an all-inclusive place.

I went once with you and I went once with Carrie and I can't remember what trip was on.

But basically.

we were checking in was your mom wasn't with buttons when you were with Carrie

yeah she was buttons was around when I got there or soon after I think 10th grade they started dating oh okay never mind okay yeah yeah 10th grade for me and Carly was in fourth grade or something because yeah he was very much her dad but yes we're checking his name was Dave Barton and we're checking in to this all-inclusive hotel and we've all just gotten off a plane so there's a line of like 15 people that are checking in and Barton and his soft voice they're like, reservation name.

And he goes, oh, Dave Barton.

And then a guy like four behind us goes, excuse me.

No, excuse me.

I'm Dave Buttons.

I'm Dave Buttons.

I'm Dave Buttons.

And Barton goes, no, I'm Dave Barton.

And for some reason, neither of them can hear that it's two different names.

The guy keeps going, this man's trying to check in in my name.

I'm the real Dave Buttons.

I think it was scary because I remember hearing it.

Yeah.

And Barton's like, I'm the real Dave Barton.

It was insane.

But the best part was we get into our room and of course all of our luggage is there.

His is not there and there's a Aaron's suitcase in our room.

And Barton's like, he just can't figure out where his bag is.

It's so weird that.

And I go, Barton, clearly Dave Button's angry bag, and this is Dave.

Maybe it was.

It's so hard sometimes whether you know if you were there or you just heard the story so much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We don't know either.

We've been wrestling with that a lot.

But anyways, I pick up the phone.

The room's registered today.

And I said, I swear to God, I call up and I go, hi, can I be connected to Dave Button's room?

And they go, sir, you're in Dave Button's room.

And I go, no, I'm in Dave Barton's room.

And they go, oh, yes, sorry.

You are in Dave Barton's room.

So then

they patch me through to Dave Button's room and he picks up.

He's like, hello.

And I go, buttons, it's Barton.

And I go, do you have a bag in your room?

Because we have an extra one.

He's like, yes, I do.

Okay.

What's the room number?

I'll come to

you.

You are in Dave Button.

You're calling calling from Dave.

Now I'm really feeling like I was definitely there.

Because I feel like that's basically the only thing we talked about for the rest of the trip.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dave Buns.

Okay, good.

So you called him.

No, I went up to Oregon and saw them.

Great.

Just on a random trip that I went up there, but I went up there to see him.

To see him.

Yeah.

Was it 2016, maybe?

You know, I'm so fucking bad with dates, but what I remember is that I had taken Lincoln at three years old to North Carolina, just her and I.

And then when Delta turned three, I was like, I'm going to take you to Michigan.

It was like springish summer.

That trip was planned.

And then I ended up kind of last minute going to see my mom and Barton.

And when I was there, things were quite untenable and bad.

I had to like talk to the hospice woman and find out.

I don't know what you want me to say or not want me to say.

Legal here in Oregon, right?

Is it legal?

It's legal, but he would have had to, you can go get it, but you got to go in person and prove your mentally sound.

And he was intending to do that.

And he missed his window.

All of a sudden, he was just stuck in bed and he couldn't go.

So I said to the woman, I don't know what you want me to say or not say.

And she said, don't worry.

I've been in this situation lots.

What I'm going to say, I heard you ask is, how can we keep him very comfortable?

So let me show you the schedule of drugs that is, you have to do it this way.

And these are the ones that are at your discretion as he needs it.

And she kind of walked me through what's going to get measured at the end, what's not, what's loosey-goosey and said, I'll be back.

And then at one point, he was unconscious, but he was foaming.

And my mom was freaking out.

And she came back.

And I was like, what do he's foaming?

foaming at the moment she's like don't worry I have drops for that let me go get drops so it was interesting it was like all unspoken I then left there and immediately I just flew to LA went home grabbed Delta brought her back got on a plane and went to Detroit and on that flight to Detroit with her I was like holy cow that was a crazy three days because it took a couple days two and a half days yeah yeah it was gnarly why did I even bring that up I know because I saw him because anyway regrets do you think you would have been nervous to call my dad because it would have felt disrespectful to Kristen.

Yes, that was 100% the case.

Actually, it was so sweet.

There was like an must have been on social media of some point where you guys were all in the hospital.

And that's the only way I even knew it was close to the end was because of this.

And I had a really strong desire to reach out at that time.

Because Kristen was pregnant.

Because Kristen was pregnant, and like we'd just been able to tell him.

And I was like, this just isn't.

Let me ask you this.

Is Brad friendly with his exes?

No.

Right.

And either is Kristen.

And so I think initially when Chris and I started dating, you were still coming over a lot because my mom was living at my house.

You were around even in like the first month or two we were dating.

And she had initially was like, this is really wild.

Like I'm not friends with any of my exes.

I don't hang out with any of my exes.

And I'm like, I'm friends with all mine pretty much.

Over time, she got super comfortable with it and absolutely at ease with it.

But it is interesting.

There's been a couple moments where I was like, oh, is that potentially hurtful?

Like I did a live show in Seattle and I, of course, invited your parents.

They were very excited.

And I had the sweetest time with your dad imaginable.

And I just love him so much.

I would say, like, oh, I'm inviting Briece's parents to show.

And I'm like, is that one going to be a thing?

It's interesting.

When you extend it out, maybe it's a little trickier, like the parents thing.

Definitely.

I mean, I've talked to your mom over the years

here and there, or if she's been in town and had lunch.

Losing the relationship with your mom was one of the hardest parts.

Because I remember when we went to therapy, initially, like sort of like, let's work this out.

And immediately he was sort of like, you know, I know my job is to keep people together, but I very clearly see this as me helping you guys.

A healthy dissolution.

A healthy.

Yeah, exactly.

But I feel like we worked that out, you know, with help and all that.

And it felt very tough.

I think we should even back up.

My best friend when I was in Washington was your ex-boyfriend, Aaron.

Yeah.

And when you were in Michigan, your best friend was my ex-girlfriend, Carrie.

Oh, yeah.

Love Carrie.

William, Michelle, all that whole crew, but also, but your mom.

Oh, I'm only pointing out like you and I were already always very comfortable with that.

You and I were both the kind of people that stay friends with our ex-yeah, that just doesn't matter.

But yes, I definitely felt that Chris and I didn't want to step on

missing my mom would be a big one.

Yeah.

That was a big deal.

She loves you so much.

You know, I mean, like, I was so young and for so long, she was very much a mom figure to me.

I still love Larba's.

Who doesn't?

Do you know that Bree's husband, Brad, and Kristen went on a date in college?

Did they not go on?

No, she was dating one of his friends.

She thinks they went on a date.

Oh, man, he'll like that.

She tells people you should tell him.

I mean, maybe they, maybe he's cute or something.

But she was dating someone that he was good for.

He was friends with.

Maybe that came after.

It could have.

She thinks they went on a date.

I like it.

She doesn't think anything really happened, but she thinks she went on a date.

How could it possibly happen in this universe?

No, isn't that what that was?

I mean, there's so many random, weird, I mean, super fan, Kristen, but I like to see similarities between us.

You and

Kristen, which ones?

Just kindness,

beauty, intelligence.

No, but you know what quality you both have, which is super.

Super hardworking.

hot yeah great moms yeah no something that you guys have that i value so much is i think you two above any other people I've ever met, you have your opinions and your position, but you're really able to listen to another point of view and consider it and integrate it.

Neither of you guys are like stuck.

You have very fluid.

I would agree with that about myself.

Yeah.

I know Kristen well enough to know.

For me, it's an imperative quality because I'm most interested in going like, oh, I feel this way.

Okay, now I'm going to really make myself try to believe I'm a Republican and I think that's killing a baby.

Okay, yeah, I get that.

If you think that's killing a baby, that's got to be your number one issue.

You got to stop killing babies.

That's got to be above tariffs and everything else.

I get it.

They'll go like, well, he's racist, but yeah, but if you're evaluating racism against killing a baby, that's a very simple decision.

So I love spending time thinking that way.

And I think if I was just with someone who's like, no, and this.

It's got to be this way.

But I do think it is a funny small world, even that they went to college and ran in the same circle.

It's impossible.

But I also think it was like helpful in Kristen opening up to the notion that you could be trusted and be friends.

I think the fact that your partner was a guy she liked

was interesting.

I felt like that was a good thing.

I think it was really that she wanted to get her hands on Mac.

She was really willing to really put anything aside in order to get a piece of that.

That's true.

That was also a big building moment is that.

I mean, you guys had him for like six months.

Did we?

Is that the longest we had him?

You had him the whole whole time we were in australia god i loved mac so much no and i remember when she like used him for sort of larky things on the internet yeah he was like always doing dumb

yeah he was an influencer when he was with her

as he was always meant to be yeah we'll talk about the the craziest like the world's too small i was in new york with Kristen.

We're walking down the street and there's a guy on a bicycle and in a basket, he has a little Brussels Grafon.

And I stop as I always stop and look at Brussels Grafon because of Mac.

And I'm looking at this dog, and I'm like, it's Mac.

What?

I go, man, this dog looks so much like this little Brussels I watch sometimes named Mac.

And he immediately goes, wait, Mac, who was the girl who originally?

Margarita Leviva, who's doing a show with Bro right now.

No, no, no.

So we got to sit down and talk about Mac for like an hour a few weeks ago.

She's on Daredevil.

She remembers the moment.

It's funny because I felt like I had stolen him

from her.

She was away on a movie.

I knew he was supposed to be with you.

That was the one.

Yeah, Bill B was.

Oh, he was.

BLB.

He was.

So this was Mac?

Yeah, it was Mac's brother.

And

he goes, wait, Mac, who Marguerite adopted?

And I'm like, yes.

And lo and behold, Mac used to be a New Yorker.

And then Brie took him to New York, which is one of your funniest stories.

You say you took him outside of the hotel and set him down in the ground.

You know, know, he was this big.

Yeah.

And he just immediately was like, that's right.

And he was

strutting around New York as it was in his city.

I mean, he strutted around everywhere.

He walked across the stage at UCLA.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he walked across.

I had him tucked away in my.

He's been to Disney World.

I took him on a Gravatron.

You can't bring a dog to Disney World, can you?

Yes.

No, I snuck him in.

Oh, right, but you're not formally allowed to.

Okay, great.

That's great.

He went everywhere.

The Gravatron was really when Brad was like, okay, babe.

babe.

Like, I don't think he wants to be on the Gravitron.

He's not going to enjoy.

He's not going to enjoy the Gravitron.

Was Brad instantly at ease with us being friends?

Yeah, I feel like because he came in, we were already friends.

Right.

So it didn't really...

Yeah, I don't remember it ever bothering him.

He's so radical.

Oh my God.

He's the best.

Now, do we have any overlap?

With what?

Like, you and Kristen share that thing.

Do Brad and I share anything?

He's very ambitious.

He is very ambitious.

Yeah, so very smart.

I always said you should have started a tailing agency because you found me in a directionless drone.

No, same.

And Brad's like, I picked you up in a Honda Civet.

Yeah.

And like, literally did not have a job.

He just uncovered a picture because we were looking for pictures of Maisie for her bot mitzvah and stuff.

And he uncovered a picture of me installing a toilet paper roll holder at his apartment because he didn't even have a toilet paper roll holder.

So I went to Home Depot, bought him a screwdriver and like put it in.

But you know her husband, who she met, who was penniless, He was doing EPK maybe running a video camera on Iron Man.

He was the producer's assistant like getting coffee and working checks.

But he also by the way had an Emmy at that time.

He had like a Webb E and an Emmy for web content.

But now it's Kevin Feige and him at Marvel.

He's like the baddest motherfucker at Marvel.

So when we broke up, I think certainly in retrospect, it was time for that.

Yeah.

Amicable as it could be when you're with someone.

Absolutely.

So like the breakup was manageable, but I will say for a while, I did think, well, I'll never be in love with someone again in that way.

I had a deep fear.

I'm like, oh, I don't think I'll ever really feel the way I felt about Brie with anybody.

I was quite scared of that.

Yeah, I think it's so funny because for me, it basically was that I fell in love with someone while we were dating.

Yeah.

and was sort of like, oh shit, I can't do both.

things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I actually very quickly did not like that guy after that.

So sometimes I wonder, like, did I just let myself get tangled up in those feelings in order to do what I knew was going to serve me ultimately, which was that we needed to not be together.

And I don't know what, too, if you have in a relationship with someone for so long, can you go back and then not?

Can you go back and then not have an open relationship?

Oh, right.

Well, I will say, so ours was, I would say, by all accounts, quite successful to go nine years open.

Absolutely.

Four years for me.

That's a terrible night.

Sorry, y'all are going to have a whole

round of guilt tonight.

No!

No, because I did actually.

What's so funny is I, again, I think that there's like, I don't really get mad.

No, I know.

Or I just don't really, like, I just think.

Great ball ears and a kind of a sad ball.

Yeah, but the whole human experience is so complicated.

Why would you waste any time like begrudging someone?

When I look back, there's really nothing I regret.

But I will say, I can see the things that also fueled you and I, which is like, I think for myself, I was inclined to be smarter and transcendent of this thing that lesser smart people were trapped in.

Okay.

If that makes any sense.

Like, I like the idea when I'm crafting my story of who I am that other people succumb to this and I don't.

I'm above this.

Yeah.

Like, yes, my girlfriend may

like other boys at times.

But I can handle that and I'm kind of above that.

I think I felt the same way about that.

I don't remember any being mad at you ever, really.

I mean, we had some fights when we were drunk.

Oh, God.

Because Drum was a bad cum.

No, which is hard because we were drunk a lot.

Yes, yes, we were drunk a lot.

But I think in general, we didn't, we almost never, ever, ever fought.

Yeah, our relationships like Aaron and I's friendship.

We just never fought.

Yeah, I don't really get incensed.

I just don't really get mad.

When I think back of that period, my whole 20s, where it was like, I had moved to this state to do this thing and I was failing at it.

I was pretty certain I was going to continue to fail at it.

Like I wasn't optimistic about it.

The kind of burden of my ambition is not a good enough word for it, but just I have to do something special.

I have to be special.

Everyone has thought I was special growing up and I have to deliver.

And like the way to that was quite intense.

Did you have that?

No.

Okay, because when you're saying that cancer was pleasurable, I relate, but I relate in the way that I would have an excuse to like take my foot off the gas and not have to evaluate how much I'm doing and am I achieving my potential and all that.

But that's not what was comforting to you about it.

Yeah, no.

Does it make any sense?

It does make sense because I know a lot of people.

Because you had the drive to go get all A's.

Sure, but that was a good question.

And also because I think truly, truly, truly, I wish I had just stayed in school and had been like an English professor because I really just like working in the world of ideas, talking, thinking about the way people think.

That's why I love reading so much because it's really just looking inside people's brains

and just listening to all their deepest inner thoughts.

And that's my favorite thing to do.

Or like, I wish I would have become a therapist or something.

But I remember when I was working for Gavin and Greg, I was really like, okay, I'm supposed to have ambition now.

I'm supposed to like do something in this industry.

I'm smart.

I owe it to the world to like make it.

But I never knew what making it looked like for me.

Like you knew you wanted to be a comedian.

You wanted to get the most laughs.

You want to have the biggest audience.

Right, right, right.

I never really knew what making it looked like.

Right.

Because I didn't have a goal.

My goal is always just like, I want to be wherever I am and talking to the people that I'm talking to.

Yeah.

And getting into it.

Yeah.

Which is also, I think, one of the things I really liked about drinking is because it's so funny how many people are so sad that I don't drink.

So sad.

Like so sad.

Sure.

You're a good time.

They're just like, oh, like it's almost as if my drinking gave them permission to have a good time yes and it's so hilarious to me so i'm like on the one hand i'm like well thank god they're not like oh god you know she really needed to quit you know like it wasn't yeah people aren't going few yeah no one's like oh yeah yeah yeah no no great idea but it is funny to me because i'm like no one of my gifts is really just being in the moment with the people that I'm with.

And alcohol especially can loosen people up to go deeper with themselves and with the people around them.

You're almost committing to the hang because you're like, well, we're going to be drunken a little bit and then we can't go to work or go exercise.

We can't sit here and just keep shooting this shit.

Yes, we have no options.

We can stay up all night and shoot the shit.

Yes.

And that's what's so great now is when I'm around the bonfire with my family and things, I'm still the last one up.

I'm still talking to everybody.

And what I've also realized, so my daughter's bought mitzvah was just this Saturday.

Yeah.

And my Gigi, my grandma, Winkle, she was famously sober for many years.

But she's always like, right, it's fine.

As long as you start out sober with everybody, you'll just feel as drunk as everybody else by the end of the night.

She's like, you just can't go into it.

Right.

You can't show up where everyone's hammered.

No.

That's right.

Even by the end of the night, I'm now seeing that more and more.

I'm getting more validation that that's the case.

Yes.

And it loosens my grip on feeling like I'm supposed to participate in that way.

Cause I feel like, oh, I'm still bringing.

every bit as much as I was bringing to the table as I was before.

More so.

And I get to wake up and remember it and like have more fun and feel great the next day.

Yeah, feeling great in the morning was such a rare

like when people get really super wasted

and staying up all night with them.

You know, it just depends.

Not with my family.

Like I still like it because like my brain is myelianated to know these people so well at this stage of drunkenness too, you know, that I just like fall right into some of the same conversations that we still need to have, you know, many, many years later.

It doesn't annoy me that much.

It definitely annoys me sometimes when people are, you know, a little too drunk.

But then I just go to bed and that's why they're disappointed.

Let me ask you this.

There's kind of a cliche, but I think there's some merit to it that girls fall harder, but guys fall longer.

There's something about the pattern.

We just had an expert on like women end more relationships than guys end relationships.

That was interesting to me.

Girls tend to break up with boys more than boys break up with girls.

Is that because the girl has another option?

I don't know what the explanation is.

Okay.

Where I'm going with this is we broke up.

Well, I was just very disoriented for a while.

I remember an exact moment where I was just very disoriented for a while.

And I was shooting a movie in New York City, staying at the Maritime Hotel.

And there's this great Italian restaurant downstairs, and it's outside.

And I was out there in New York City by myself, and I was single.

And even though we were in an open relationship, I obviously never felt single.

Sure.

I wouldn't have taken anyone on a date.

And I just had this moment.

We had been broken up for probably maybe a year at that point.

And I remember going, oh, this is fun.

I'm single in New York City and I work two days a week.

And it kind of lifted a bit.

But the part that didn't lift for me, and I'm curious if you relate it all, is what was hugely important to me always from the moment we broke up is I pray she meets someone that she falls in love with.

I just thought about it a lot.

And I was just so hopeful that you would find someone that you loved a lot again.

Yeah.

And I just remember being so happy about Brad.

No, Brad, I think more than I was so happy about, I mean, I was so happy.

So one of the hardest things about when we broke up was that I really had my head around, we were going to have kids.

Yes.

We had a house now.

Like it was going to be this thing that I wanted.

I was getting on in years, you know, like these were the things.

Well, we had always said, oh, when you turn 30, 30.

Yeah, we're going to go.

So it was like around that time.

I mean, I met Brad on my 30th birthday.

I think I was like 28 or 29 when we were like kind of bringing.

Anyway, I was like, I'm going to find.

And I kept dating people who.

At civics?

No.

I was like trying to date people who like had some scratch.

Were established.

And were already established.

And it just wasn't working.

And I was like, I need to be in love.

Like, I have to be in love.

I'm a real romantic.

So when I met Brad and was like very much swept off my feet, never looked back.

We went straight.

You know, we'd always just say one, two, three, we're married and made it happen.

I was like, like, no, so grateful.

But I think it was so funny is I was really worried about losing the thing I wanted for my future was great family experience.

And also I think that went into like losing your mom and feeling like, well, that's not, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I had the same thing in that I was a bit panicked because I was 32 when I met Kristen.

I was thinking like, I'm supposed to be getting you pregnant right now.

My timeline was like, at 32, that was going to start.

And I was like, well, I have to date someone for at least a couple of years before I I have kids.

I got to find out if they're really good.

I got to live with them, all that.

And I just remember feeling very pressured about that.

One, I was dating before I met Kristen.

I was like, if three weeks, I thought, this isn't like a huge one.

I'm like, oh.

Oh, I was going through on that.

Yes.

And, you know, with the high bar.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Word.

You guys were doing the same thing.

Were you ever worried?

Like, boy, I hope he falls in love again.

I have a hunch not.

I mean, mean, I don't think it's good.

I didn't think about it much, but because I guess from my perspective,

because your career was really sort of meteoric in that moment, and it also just felt like I couldn't keep up with that.

So, like, I sometimes felt like, well, we didn't just break up because of XYZ.

It was also, I didn't know how to keep up with this new

really big thing that was happening in your life.

Yeah.

And I didn't really know where I fit.

I was so bad at that.

I was very bad at letting you feel like it was our money.

No, definitely.

It was not ours.

And I don't think it was anything.

It's definitely not.

I remember like buying a dress for a premiere to go to one of your premieres and going to a thrift store and not feeling like I could really afford the dress that I wanted.

Oh, man.

Which is fine because I think that's.

It's regrettable.

Is your girlfriend homeless?

You should really get your assistant a nicer dress.

That's my wife.

Why are you in a tuxedo?

No, but because, but to me, the joke was always: I'm in really good company because you were dating all these, you know, hot celebrity.

So, I was never thinking you were going to fall in love.

You were freaking hanging out with, you know, these big time.

I was like, okay, well, if anything, you might have thought, like, this guy might end up with Natalie Foreman.

No,

I know your real true dream.

We got here.

What number?

I did.

45.

So, how many episodes are you guys doing of this?

12.

12.

Is it all old blasts from the past?

The last one.

Ooh, last but not least.

Joe, Tim.

We did have Tim Lovestead.

We had Nate, Kristen, Monica, Jackie Tone, Kristen's friend from their new show too.

Tim Simons.

You know him.

Oh, no, you don't watch TV.

I was going to say V, really tall.

Oh, I do know.

I actually did watch Kristen's show.

Did you like it?

I did.

Nobody wants this.

Aaron and I watched it together in Texas.

Okay.

We were down in the bus going from grocery store to grocery store to meet people for Ted Seekers.

Oh, yeah.

And we put it on in that first kiss right down there on the sidewalk.

We both got heated up.

It happened.

And I paused it and I go, what do you think of that kiss?

And Aaron's like, that was incredible.

No, that kiss was famous.

Maybe the best kiss I've ever seen in a movie.

They did a great, really great actor.

They did.

They did.

Excellent acting.

Yeah, acting.

Really good acting.

And Aaron goes,

has she ever kissed you like that?

And I go, no.

And he goes, and he goes, I don't know who I want to kiss me more.

I am.

Yeah, I just want to be involved in that.

Exactly.

Get me in.

So you will watch the ones where like everyone's talking about it.

You kind of have to watch it.

I mean, I, like Aaron and Sarah Foster, I had sort of followed them loosely on social media because a really good friend of mine worked for a company that did the full favorite daughter thing and really still like free stuff.

Oh, yeah.

Like free koozies.

They're free shit.

Sure.

Come here, fucking koozy.

I want koozie.

I want key chain.

What do you got?

If you can't watch them.

I don't know if you remember this, but Josh and I wrote a sketch about that.

Yes.

We want a frisbee.

like all the things the guys want it's like you gotta watch you gotta make washing machine back there

but i got a bunch of free t-shirts from that company for part of their campaign and then i'd follow them so because i just sort of followed them and i never knew she was a writer producer aaron foster so when she did it and then i saw kristen was in it i was like oh i gotta watch that yeah i'll give this a shot yeah i'll give this a shot and thank god because every single human being was talking about i mean i actually watch everything kristen's in and not in a weird but i really love love the good place.

Yes.

And she just has good taste, you know.

And she's insanely talented.

Yes.

No, I know.

So I only watch the best things and she's in all of the best things.

Well, can I tell you the thing that I think you guys have the most?

It's just how I feel.

Yeah.

Which is, I admire both of you so much.

And I realize that's a rare thing to get in a partner: I just admire you so much.

I like who you are so much.

That's all my.

You're just one of the greats of all time.

I'm glad our life's worked out so well.

Me too.

We did a good job.

It all worked out.

Well, I love you.

I'm so happy you did this.

This was so fun.

And I think your short, curly hair is very cute.

I know, it's so funny.

It's so fun.

It's so funny.

I like some of my David Hasselhoff era, but I also look like, well, I kind of look like a Blanche and Dorothy.

Blanche and Dorothy.

Dorothy.

Dorothy.