Best of Episode: Teen Mom: All Grown Up with Amber Boone

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Things are going to

get weird. It's your fave villain, Kale Lowry.
And you're listening to Barely Famous. Hey, fuckers.
It's Kale with another episode of Barely Famous. Today, I have a TikToker or grandmother that went viral or mom who is just real as fuck on TikTok.
Her name is Amber. And I think you guys are going to love her story.
I think she has a lot to offer. And I can't wait to talk about her viral grandma article because I thought that was so cool.
So let's welcome her to Barely Famous. Hello.
Hey. Hello.
I was just, I did your little intro and I was talking about the, so I followed you on TikTok forever ago, right? And I had, I had just seen you on my For You page. And once I got to your page, it had been like a significant amount of time that I had been following you when I saw this article that you, I guess it was pinned on your thing about going viral as being like a hot grandma or something like that.
And I was crying because I was like, wait a minute. So what, what was the deal with that? So I don't even know, like, how does, how does this even happen with TikTok? I randomly, you know, did a video about somebody.
I don't know. I don't even know.
I did a video talking about something and someone left a comment like, grandma, like, aren't you like 27? And I responded like, 27, girl. Like, you know, I just like genuinely just responded and that blew up to like 20 something million views.
It was crazy because it was just nothing. That's so funny.
I was fucking crying because I was like, wait a minute. I didn't know any of this.
I just had followed you for other reasons. But anyway, hi, how are you? I'm good.
How are you? I'm okay. It's been, like I said, just a shit show today, but okay, let's talk.
Let's tell me about yourself. Tell me about, I know that you were a teen mom.
I knew that from TikTok and you had two kids as a teen, which obviously we can relate on that. What was that like? And you grew up in Michigan, no? I did.
And have you ever run into Eminem? Because I'm a huge fan. I have not.
Which is, like, weird because I swear we'd be at the same places. I'm like, how do I keep missing him? Oh.
Do you live anywhere near 8 Mile? No. Actually, I used to live right off 8 Mile for years.
But I no longer do. Yeah.
It's not like everyone's like, 8 wow, the movie. I'm like, it's just the divider of the city, really.
Oh, okay, okay. So that wasn't, that's not like a place.
It's a divider. It's a street.
It's literally a street that divides Detroit from all the suburbs. Okay, so where's 313? 313 is like on the.
And that's where you live? No, I'm not in the city anymore. I'm in the birds now.
You're like, I'm a, I'm a suburban mom slash grandma now. Okay.
So how am I allowed to ask how old are you? Yeah, I'm 37. And you are in fact, a grandmother.
I am in fact, a grandmother of two. Wow.
Of two. Yeah.
You have the little girl. Um, I don't know if you ever say her name or not.
So I don't know if you don't ever say it. Her name is Elena, but yeah, so I have her, she's three.
And then her older sister, Yesenia is five. Okay.
Do you have both of them or you just have the little one? I just have the little one, the older ones with her dad. Cause I know everyone always asks me, where's the older one? I'm like, she's with her dad.
And do they get together? Yes. Yes.
So I get her, I used to get her a lot more, but she's in school now she's in kindergarten. She has a whole life of her own.
So I get her a little bit less often, but you know, um, the, the part of me getting my younger granddaughter was like to preserve that sibling bond, despite whatever is happening with their parents. Yeah.
I know how that goes. It's hard.
It's hard to, I mean, it's so easy for people to be like, Oh, you know, this is what I would do. But it's just not, I mean, I'm glad that you have one so that you're able to kind of keep them together and make sure that, you know, they get to see each other still.
But let's run it back. So you were a teen mom.
You had your daughter first or your son first? I had my daughter first. Yep.
I had my daughter when I was 14. Okay.
I don't know how you did it at 14 because I did it at 17 and I thought I was going to lose my mind at 14. You're like a baby baby.
I know. And it's crazy because now my son's 14, my youngest is 14.
And I'm like, you could never like, there's no way there is absolutely no way. No, literally my, I have my third.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
I was I see the kids like I see kids that age every time even when my daughter when she was in the eighth grade I just I would stare at her every single day like oh god oh god this is what happened like please Lord know there's no way thank you like she didn't but like yeah her grade year, every day, I just woke up like in state of a panic.

I don't know what it is about the kids raised to, I mean, I have not, I mean, knock on wood, I haven't seen any teens pregnant. I don't know about any teens pregnant in like my son's school.
My son's 13. My oldest son is 13.
and um's so funny on the way to the office today, he asked me how old was I when I started smoking weed? And because there's kids at his school that smoke in the bathroom and stuff. And I'm like, I literally said to him, I'm like, I just don't know how you would even get away with that because I'm so involved in what all my kids do.
And my mom just didn't care. So I was running the streets doing all kinds of shit.
I cannot picture kids today doing it. And I don't know if it's being that we're in 2023 or it's that we are just involved parents.
Like, I don't know. Yeah.
Yeah. I think it's probably a combination because I was the same way raising my daughter.
Like she, she couldn't blink without me knowing, like I was on her, I was on everything, which probably backfired later. But when she was a kid and under my care, baby, she was on point.
Cause I was on top of everything. I knew everything.
All of her friends' parents were significantly older and they didn't know what the hell was going on. And their kids were too scared to talk to them.
So my daughter would come and tell me things. And I'm like, their parents don't know about this.
Like, what are y'all doing? But like, I was the young mom, you know, so people would talk to me, even her friends. Like, I was the person that they came to.
Man, them parents ain't know nothing that was going on. No, they don't.
And I think it's because when we had our kids, we were not that far removed from how old they are, right? Like,'m 31. I have a 13 year, he's about to be 14.
So I remember the things that I was doing at his age, like yesterday, where, you know, if you're, if you're in your thirties having kids by the time that they get to the age that we were at when we had kids, it's just so different. I think it's not that different when we have, when we're young and we have our kids young, not saying that that's like, don't, I'm not telling anyone.
Yeah, don't do that. Oh my God.
Every time I post, everyone's like, stop encouraging this. I'm like, I'm not, trust me.
We're not at all. Like, please don't.
Like, I'm like, I saw, I think you did a video about it, right? Like someone was talking about like encouraging it and you're like, no, I'm literally doing the opposite. Like I'm trying to tell you guys the struggles.
I've done so many videos of like, I'm not encouraging this. Like, please know.
I don't even want adults to have kids. Like everybody just chill for a minute.
Like stop having. I don't want adults to have kids.
Everybody just chill for a minute. Just calm down.
That's so funny. Okay.
So you have your daughter at 14 and then you have your son a couple of years later. Yeah.
So I had my daughter at 14, um, at 16, we got, I got married to her dad and we got pregnant like immediately after we were married. So I had my son at 17.
And how was that? You were a teen mom to two parents married. What was that like? That was crazy.
And it, well, for me, it was normal. And that's when people ask me that all the time.
And I'm like, I don't know. It was just my life.
You know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't know the alternative really. That was, that was it for me.
Um, but at the time, like you said, like you were young, your parents wasn't really paying attention to what you were doing you were kind of wilding out same thing so for me I was just like I'm grown what are you talking about like I'm married I have kids I'm living an adult life like what's the big deal um but yeah but their dad was kind of a dick can I say that yeah he was kind of a dick and like dick. And like, so it just, it wasn't a good marriage.
It wasn't a good relationship. He wasn't a good dad.
We were very different people, but it's hard to know when you're a teenager, really what type of person you are. And you usually like just develop so quickly in those later teen years into like the person you're going to be.
And we were just growing in complete opposite directions. So by the time I was 19 years old, I was done and finally left him.
Yeah. And that was it.
So then I was 19 and single with two kids. That was me at, I don't even know how old I was when I was divorced with two kids, but my first two kids had different dads.
Also, I think you have talked about like, your kids are biracial, right? So we also have that in common. Was that kind of common where you grew up or was that like a taboo situation? Yeah, no.
So I don't understand. That's like when people make comments, I'm always so blown away.
I forget that TikTok is like the whole world and it's people that whose whole world is TikTok and they literally don't go outside of their bedrooms. They don't know what the hell's happening in the real world.
But when I grew up, you know, it was, I grew up in Lansing, Michigan. So it's about an hour and a half from Detroit.
That's where I went to school and everything. And it's not just diverse.
It's very integrated. Like everybody is mixed.
Everybody's working together, playing together, going to school together. So, you know, I don't even know it was a melting pot.
It was not uncommon at all. You didn't think twice about it.
So yeah, my first two children are Puerto Rican and Colombian and white. So technically their race is white, but their ethnicity is Hispanic.
And then after, you know, I had divorced their dad a few years later, I met my second husband and had, you know, a biracial son, which again, to me, whatever, like I'm not picking people for their race. I'm just like, Hey, you're a cool person or a good dude or whatever.
Like you could be purple Asian. I don't care.
I didn't care. So I mean, like at this point we can do the rainbow.
I don't care. Like it makes no difference to me, but yeah, people seem to, um, take.
Fixate. Yeah.
I noticed on your videos, I haven't, I have not experienced that as much as what I've seen on your page. Like people are very fixated on that with you.
And I thought that was really interesting because that's not my experience. I haven't had people really say anything to me about it.
And I just like, couldn't believe some of the comments that you get because I'm like, this literally happens every day. And it's almost like people were acting like it was foreign, like you're the one that started it.
Yeah, no, I don't understand what the fascination with me and race is, but there is some fascination, which also kind of was like a whole other leg of my TikTok journey was, oh my gosh, you know, there were some really large creators that were coming for me, like unprovoked and unnecessarily so. And it was an issue for her.
I had a whole stalker, like she was like stalking every single social media that I had and was like blowing me up, sending me messages, like tagging me, like going crazy. My whole, her whole page was like videos of me.
It was insane. It was insane.
And this was a big creator? No, that one wasn't. But the people, the reason how she found me was because a big creator did a video on me.
And I like clapped back and was like a whole thing the videos have all to my knowledge been deleted or the original video was deleted that the large creator came after me or whatever um yeah but again just what I don't know what the fuck I don't I don't understand why what what is there to come at you for I'm not I, I'm not following. Like, were you canceled for something? No, apparently I have a black scent.
A what? A black scent. What is that? A black accent.
I don't know. So it's the whole, like, it's an insinuation that I try to be black, or I want to be black, or that I'm doing it for clout, or that I'm appropriating culture, or I'm like, oh, she thinks she has a black kid or a black man, so she can da-da-da-da-da.
People forget that I existed before the internet, and I existed before TikTok. So I've been a whole human being before all these things came to play.
And just because you see me now doesn't mean that I'm trying to appropriate something I saw on this app, because I've literally been the same person since before the app existed. But people get stuck on that.
So originally what happened was a creator called Aunt Karen, which that's not her real name. But she did she took a video, she found a video of me talking about something positive.
I was just talking about some, I don't know, happy, smiley smiley happy shit and she took that video and made a duet or a stitch or something and was like but why the black scent and was just like going in on me and everybody and I happened to see it like within 10 minutes of her posting it and I looked at her follow kind of like 1.6 million followers. I was like, what? Like, what? This is what I want to like

have happen or be known for or whatever. And so I, I was busy.
So I like took a screenshot real quick. So I remember to go back to it because at the time I had a lot of notifications and I just couldn't keep up.
So I'm like, okay, screenshot, I'll go in, whatever. Well, next thing I know, when I go to go back to respond, it was deleted because the comments that she was getting were all like, why are you doing this? What are you talking about? They were like supportive of me.
And I think it didn't get the reaction that she wanted. So she deleted the video, but I decided to still go ahead and respond to her because I was just like, you, you can't falsely call things like this out because you have a large platform that you could be using for good and calling people out for stuff that's not actually wrong or they're not actually doing anything wrong like that's bullshit so yeah and then it like went on this whole thing and then the girl found me and they started stalk it all the time like the amount of effort that people put into hating other people is so insane to me because I literally if I literally don't like someone I will just either move on I might send something to the girl group chat and be like oh this gets on my nerves but like that's the extent of it I'm not going to lengths or making videos or doing any type of like cyber stalking cyber bullying to someone that I don't like like Because you've got, is never going to revolve around, around someone else other than my children.
So like, what in the world are y'all doing with your free time? Yeah. Well, and I think, I think a lot of it has to do with it.
People, people really, and I've just learned this, especially since being, and you've been dealing with this for a long time, obviously, because of just being in the public eye and the media and everything. But, you know, people love to point out the flaws or perceived flaws in others because it makes them somehow feel better about their own insecurities.
It really is projection. It really, and I hate like being this, I don't know, like in this world where everyone's like, oh, I'm using these big therapeutic narcissists and this, but I mean, no, I really do believe that people, happy people genuinely do not go and shit on other people.
If you are sincerely at peace with yourself, you are not shitting on someone else. Even if you don't like something, you're moving along.
Because when you're genuinely at peace and happy with yourself, the only contribution you want to have and make is that of positivity and just uplifting other people so they can get to that place you're at period. Yeah.
That's what I had a conversation with my boyfriend about that last night because someone had said something about him and he just couldn't wrap his head around it. Cause he he's like, I don't bother anybody.
And I looked at him and I said, but that person doesn't realize that they're projecting. They don't read that.
When you're in that state and I've been there like through depression and other like lows, low times in my life where I realized, okay, I've talked shit when I shouldn't have, or this bothered me more than it should have. It's not something that truly impacts my life, but I fixate on it is, you know, I'm

projecting because I'm not happy with this, you know, myself and something that's going

on within myself.

And so unfortunately for him, I, he, but he couldn't wrap his head around the idea that

someone would not realize that they're even projecting.

So they come up with these excuses.

I'm not miserable, but X, Y, you know, you do X, Y, and Z, or I'm not miserable.

I have X, Y, and Z going on.

Thank you. realize that they're even projecting.
So they come up with these excuses. I'm not miserable, but X, Y, Z, you know, you do X, Y, and Z, or I'm not miserable.
I have X, Y, and Z going on. And that might be true.
You might have those things going on, but you're still not happy within yourself and your own life for you to be fixating on someone else's life in that capacity. Absolutely.
I did see another video of yours that you were talking about how you don't have kids with your husband. Is that right? Yeah.
Can you talk to me about that? Because clearly I've had a problem across the board with, I seem to have children with pretty much every single person I'm with. So I'm just wondering how that dynamic works for you.
And do you ever feel like, you know, your marriage or your relationship is missing something because you haven't had kids with him? No, I feel like the only way it is going to survive is if we don't have a child. Okay, so here's, there's a couple of different things that play into this.
Number one, you know, obviously, I had a kid at 14 years old, got married and was like, we're going to be together forever. I don't want to have multiple partners.
I was like, I only want one person my whole life. I want all my children to have the same father.
I want this picture perfect, like thing that I was told I was supposed to have. And I was like, I'm going to have that.
And so I stayed with a person for far too long because I thought that's what I was supposed to do.

And he was a shit person. And it was like, wait, why am I doing this?

So we stayed together far too long because we had kids and because we were married and

because that was the right thing to do.

And it was like a lot involved in that.

So when I finally ended that situation and started building my life, and then I came

across another boy and did the whole baby and marriage thing again. And we were together for 10 years.
And once again, I felt like we were together far longer than I believe we would have been had we not had a child. and I think a lot of the us staying together was we really want he was also a teen parent so

you know he had an older daughter and so it was just like we wanted to provide our son with what

we were unable to provide our older children with and we wanted to provide them with this like family and we did like we achieved the American dream we bought the house with the picket fence and the suburbs and did all the things and in it there was something like that still just it wasn't it so um after that, I was just like, I don't want to ever be in a relationship again or a marriage. I really didn't want to get married again because I was just like, I want to be in a situation.
I want to be with a person that we wake up every day and we just choose each other because of who the person is. And not because, oh, well, damn, we have assets tied together or we're married and it's too much of a pain to go through a divorce or we have kids or this and that.
Cause I feel like I always found these reasons to hold on that had nothing to do with the person that I was with. And I feel like those are not good reasons to stay in a relationship or marriage or anything.
So yeah. So with me and my husband, I was just like, I don't want another reason to stay with you if I don't want to stay with you.
And if I have a kid and even us being married, it was just like, we did it. I didn't think I was ever going to get married, but we did it.
And I'm just like, just so you know, I have no problems getting a divorce. Like this paper is just, I don't mean, it's good for like taxes and logistical shit.
Outside of that, like I have no problem divorcing your ass. Just so we're very clear.
Cause I'm not having shit hold me here. That's like, I don't want to be here.
And he just kind of felt the same. No, he wanted to have a baby with me.
Oh shit. Shit.
So then what did you do? Like, how does that work when you, because I haven't ever been in a situation where I get, well, I guess my ex-husband and I, we had one and then I had some miscarriages. And so it was like, I don't want any more.
I don't want to go through this again. I ultimately did with other people, another person.
But, you know, that was hard. How do you decide? Because that's like a big decision, right?

Like that's like a lifelong commitment, a huge decision.

Are we going to have kids or not?

How do you decide?

Because you went back on, you know, your own position on the marriage thing.

You decided to get married.

How did you stick to the I don't want to have a kid thing?

Well, because it's more than just like marriage.

Again, I think marriage is a lot easier to dissolve.

You can't dissolve a kid. Like the is better right and there's no bagging so I'm just like I think for me that was my little safety net if we lived in a you know a world where divorce was not legal or something then I probably wouldn't be married but because I know I have that out if I need it I'm good yeah but with a kid like he he baby.
And, um, first of all, he has five children. He needs no more.
We need no more period. We have like 10 between the two of us, between our kids and grandkids, there are 10 underneath us that we are responsible for in some way, shape or form.
And that's a lot. So I was like, you know, first of all, we don't, we don't need any more.
You don't need any more. Um, but the one who got to go through that.
I don't, listen, listen. I feel like I never even got to see my body fully achieved.
Like my boobs never fully came in. My butt, you know what I'm saying? Like I never got a full woman body because I ruined it before it even came by getting pregnant.
So I finally am at a time in my life now where I am confident and I feel sexy. And like, even, you know, I got stretch marks on my belly or whatever.
My titties finally came in in my thirties. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I'm so thankful they are.
So I'm like, if you think I'm about to ruin this, absolutely not. And he finally was just like, okay, I agree.
Like he was like, it's not't a deal breaker for him. Well, I think, like, I think it was just, we had several conversations over time.
And I, you know, from our first date, and I continue to reiterate, like, I don't want. But what happened, I think, ultimately, I did end up, he knew, like, fighting to get my, my youngest grandbaby when we were dating and stuff.

So I think once we got her or once I got her and then like, he was, you know, more involved

in our lives and everything, I think that was kind of like, well, this is like our baby

because we're going to raise her together.

So even though we don't like have a baby that shares, you know, our features and things

like that, we still have a child that we can raise together.

So that's kind of like, we get the best of both worlds, I guess.

Thank you. and things like that.
We still have a child that we can raise together. So that's kind of like, we get the best of both worlds, I guess.
You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but what does she call you guys? Depends on a day and her mood because she calls, she calls me mom and she calls him dad mostly. And she knows us as mom and dad, but she knows we're also, I don't know how she knows.
Like, I think, well, because when her sister visits, she calls me grandma. So she also knows to call me grandma sometimes.
But then, you know, his kids call me Miss Amber. So then sometimes she calls me by my name.
But she's starting, she's three now. She's in preschool.
She's very smart. And I think she's starting to realize, like, my family's a little.
And I'm not really sure why she doesn't really understand who is what and all of that we had to do. We did a lot of therapy with her when she I mean, she just graduated therapy recently.
But up until then, we were doing therapy. And part of the therapy was her calling me mom, because when she was starting to talk, she started saying like mama and stuff.
And I'm like, whoa, at this point, I hadn't even adopted her. So I'm like, like, so you're all and we were going through therapy, the therapist is like, so well, what do you how does she get your attention if she needs you? And I was like, well, she usually just says, like, give me a hug.
Like, she doesn't call me anything. Like she had names for my son.
She had names for everybody. But for me, she, I, because I didn't respond to mama or I would like shut it down.
She would just be like, I want to hug. And that was how she got my attention.
And the therapist was like, well, what do you, what do you think a mom is? So I went through the whole, you know, what I think a mom is. And she was like, and what are you to her? And I was just like, yeah, but this is weird.
Whatever. We went a lot of back and forth.
But ultimately, like the therapist kind of helped me be okay with her calling me mom because as the it came apparent that adoption was going to happen I'm going to be mom on the birth certificate when we take her to school they're going to call me mom you know as we're you know I had her in like swim classes and stuff and they're like go to mommy like these people don't know so they automatically just refer to me as mommy and I'm not going to be like oh well let me tell you my whole life story because actually I'm not her mom I'm a grandma right you don't look all the way to my grandma and then it's like this whole thing right so I just let it be what it is and like as she ages I will age appropriately answer any questions that she has what is her relationship with her bio mom so her her bio mom, which is your daughter. Yeah, they don't really have much of a relationship.
You know, she has never really been in my daughter's care other than when she was first born. So she was recently reintroduced to her life.
And again, with like a little bit of guidance and how to properly reintroduce her. But my daughter is in the process of like getting her shit together.
She's in the process of trying, of recovery and like all of these things that she needs to do. So it's, they, when they have seen each other, like it's usually like, oh, let's go to an event or something like something that's like public.
And there's a lot of people there. So it's not like very intimate and like

weird. Um, you know, they have a good time.
My,

my granddaughter loves everybody. So she's super lovey, super happy,

super social, all of the things. And she's no different with her mom,

but she just doesn't know like the,

I think the depth of the, of what it is. You know what I mean? She's just like, oh, she's like another cool person.
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Pickup fees may apply. I think I resonated with you and started following you once I learned more about what your role was with your granddaughter and also with your daughter.
My mom is an addict and an alcoholic to this day. And I just bounced around a lot in my childhood and I my grandparents were too old to like, actually adopt me.
So they did everything they could without the adoption aspect. And so, you know, if they if I wasn't with my grandparents, I was with friends or I was with other family members.
And so I think that there's a lot to be said about your character and who you are as a person to be willing to take on. I mean, you raised your kids, right? Like your youngest is 14.
So you're almost out of, out of the woods as in terms of like raising children, which is so fucking hard. And I don't think that people talk about it i mean thankfully now with tiktok and social media people are talking about the really hard parts of parenthood but i think it just it speaks to who you are as a person for actually taking on another child that you know you didn't necessarily plan to take care of and i think that that's really awesome of you and your husband because then that also speaks to his character because he didn't have to do that either.
Yeah. And that's, I mean, we, we've had so many conversations over the years about it and how it would look and everything.
And ultimately like we viewed it from that standpoint, well, we're just going to be in it together. And this is like, we're going to raise her together and like all of these things, but every, every new day, every new thing that happens is like, oh dang, like, you never know what expect.
Like now that my daughter is clean and in recovery, it's like, I have all of these emotions that I didn't see coming. So I, now I'm, I was like really angry with her at first.
And then I was really, I'm just going to love you through it. I'm just going to be compassionate.
And I'm just going to be like, so selfless, unconditionally loving to you. And now I'm like, wait a minute, I'm mad again, because I'm, I'm actually having angry feelings.
And so I recently enrolled in this, like it's families against narcotics. And I have like, basically my own 12 step program where I have a coach and I go through these 12 steps as like recovery, even though I'm not the addict, I'm like the mother of an addict.
But as you know, that comes with so many emotions and so many life changes. And, you know, I never know what to be prepared for.
And I thought when my daughter got clean, like, everything was just going to be good again, it was just going to be great. And I was just like, Okay, let's do this.
And I realized that that's just the beginning of it. And recovery is not like, cut and dry.
It is a long process. And there's a lot of things that come with that.
And I was like, holy crap, it all hit me kind of hard. And my husband was really worried about me.
So he like, did some research and found this place. And I got enrolled in this program.
So I'm doing it now. And I'm like, really excited because I don't want to be angry.
But yeah, it freaking I just said, like, I honestly like, what the man, raising kids. I've been doing this shit since I was 14.
I am tired. I'm so tired.
I hear you. That's why I was like, hold, like I cannot imagine like, just like starting over when you're almost like, you're almost there.
Um, but so do you know where the anger is coming from? Like you said, you were angry at first, which I think also comes with anyone who is affiliated or associated with someone they love being in addiction or alcoholism or anything like that. It's like, there's so, there are times where I forgive my mom, right? Like there's times where I'm forgiveful and I, for forgiving, not for forgiveful, um, forgiving.
And I go through these periods of time and then there's other periods of time where I'm like, I her guts. And I don't understand how she did this to me still, you know? Yeah.
Do you know where the anger is now? Like, is it because she's clean? And you know, you don't know where that leaves you and your granddaughter? Or is it because, you know, you've gone through all of this? I think it's because I have a second to be angry. I think that when she was in active addiction, I was so busy worrying about her and so busy, like, you know, is she safe? Oh my God, save her, save her.
And also I couldn't because once I got the baby, I had to focus on the baby. So before I had the baby, I was, I was knocking on hotel doors.
I was chasing her down. I was like doing all of the things to try to legitimately like literally save her.
And then I got the baby and I had to focus on my energy and the baby. So then all of my like emotional stuff and my mental stuff, my worries, my dreams, like everything was around my daughter.
Is she safe? Is she alive? Is she okay? Oh my God, what's going on? And it's like, once all of that is like lowered because now she's in recovery and she is safe and you know, she's good. And then it's like, okay, okay.
So now you're safe and you're good, but why did you do this? Like, what the heck? You know what I mean? Like, and it's frustrating too, because mind you, I kind of started going through all this publicly because I did share it. And so then people ask me questions, which sometimes makes me think things that I maybe haven't thought of before.
And people, you know, say a lot of really mean things. Oh, obviously you were a horrible mom.
Obviously you, you inflicted trauma on her and it's your fault and like all these things that I'm like oh my god there's not a day that goes by that I don't think it's my fault like even if people tell me that or not I'm always I will literally be sitting there like you know I wonder if I didn't ground her in the eighth grade for doing calling that boy if she would have you know I literally I think and I've with my daughter, like, do you think it's because you got in trouble that one time? Remember when I yelled at you? You think like, I just asked her like, why? Because your kid is 13, 14 years old right now, like your oldest. So think about when I raised her, like I said, we achieved like this picture perfect thing.
I was like, oh my God, like the person that people look to like, wow, you did it. My daughter was on the honor roll.
She got good grades. She was in church.
She was on the cheerleading team, like picture perfect. Okay.
She was like amazing. She graduated at 16 years old, did all the things.
Right. What the, what happened? Right.
What happened? But it just, it just goes to show that addiction does not discriminate. It doesn't matter how perfect you are on paper, if you check off every box, or you've had the picture-perfect childhood.
Because that was my mom. Yeah, of course.
I mean, my mom was – she's in her 50s now. So she grew up at a time where it was like kids are seen, not heard kind of thing.
But she had other siblings that all went to college. My mom's older, my mom's older brother is a doctor teacher, you know, there's all kinds of, how did she end up this way? It doesn't discriminate, you know? And so I just feel like the people who are, you know, sit there and they're like, oh, well, you must've done this.
Well, how, how did she do all of these great things? And then this happened. I think people really need to open their eyes and understand that it can happen to anyone.
Right. And that's why I do share publicly because I'm just like, if y'all, if I would have had this platform 10 years ago, we'd be having a completely different conversation.
You're just like, oh my gosh, look at her. They're just so cute.
Like, yeah, everything was good. Then life happens.
And sometimes we don't know why it happens and I have my theories and you know a lot of it I believe she had postpartum depression really bad after she had my oldest granddaughter and something happened like there was a switch in her and I know because I was up I was driving at the time I'm in Detroit they was up in the Lansing area and so I was making that hour and a half drive like three four times a week the night, like all the things just to help out with the baby and everything. And we had so many conversations.
I was just like, what is going on with you? And she's like, I don't know. Like, I'm not myself.
I was like, you need to go to the doctor. And she just kept refusing.
She had a really bad case of sepsis. Like she had blood infection after she had the baby.
She was in the hospital for a while. And it was like, after she got home from that, things were just different.
And I just, we had so many conversations where I was just like, what is going on? Are you okay? She didn't feel like herself. She's like, I don't know what's going on with me.
And she was searching for something. And I think like self-medicating and trying to figure out what that was led down a crazy road that got us to where we are today.
But I mean, no one really, really really knows and I think until she does she goes through like the full recovery process and she comes to kind of some of those answers herself like all I can do is really speculate but it just sucks like this isn't the life that I had pictured for any of us and not I didn't I didn't know that I was gonna be I thought I was gonna just be a grandma like yes and the babies on the weekends like let me smell them and cuddle them and like that's it and then send them back and then send them back right I always yeah like you just oh I yesterday we um I was like I want a pretzel I'm sitting on my couch I was like I just want a pretzel so bad right now I was like I'm about to go to like the pretzel place and get a pretzel I was like Lord Jesus I gotta get this girl get your shoes on okay I get to do all this you're in the car see I got a bucket you want your blanket I gotta go back in the house and get your blanket like I and I told my husband and I was like, Lord Jesus, I got to get this girl. Get your shoes on.
I got to do all this. You're in the car.
See, I got a bucket. You want your blanket.
I got to go back in the house and get your blanket. Like I, and I told my husband, I was like, I really miss, there's only like a few months of my life where I can just get up and go, but I miss that.
Like, just go get a pretzel. I talk about that all the time.
Someone sent me something yesterday and I was like, oh, that happened in the 3.5 seconds that I wasn't pregnant for once. Like I'm always fucking pregnant.
So I completely resonate with that. Only it's the children I keep having.
I can't, I don't, I don't even know how I got here either. Probably trauma, but we just take it day by day.
But yeah, no, I think there's also so much to be said about like the getting up and go like we just can't moms just can't and when you know you're you know taking care of a child all the time but who is Amber outside of being a mom and grandma like who what do people not know about you because I feel like your whole TikTok presence is kind of like your backstory, but like, who, who are you guys without, you know, not without, but aside from being a grandma. You know, that scale is like the interesting thing.
And I think that's part of the frustration is I was just finding that. I was just finding that out when I got my grandbaby.
So like, you know, when you're young, you have kids.

I literally gave up my life.

I mean, like I was wild.

Like I was 13 years old doing things that grown people should not even be doing.

And then I got pregnant and I was like, I'm done.

I'm done doing all of the things.

I'm just going to, I'm going to be a good mom.

I'm going to be the mom that I wanted.

I'm going to be a great mom. and I dedicated my life to just doing everything I

thought would make me a good mom and my whole life was centered around my kids let me tell like I my

jobs that I picked they were so they were jobs that I where I could make sure I got my kids to school and get them home from school and on their lunch hour I was up there volunteering at the book fair and then I was taking them to you know cheerleading football soccer whatever, football, soccer, whatever, and like all the things, my whole life was them. And then it was like, as they got older, okay, I finished my college degree.
I started, you know, working and like developing like a brand and like a corporate persona and all of this stuff. And I was like, okay, cool.
Um, but still it was somewhat revolved around my kids or whatever, but it was just like, but I started to realize as my kids got older, I was like, oh my God, they're going to leave. And then what am I going to do? And that's when I started looking at my husband at the time differently.
Cause I was just like, when the kids are gone, are we going to choose each other when they're not here? Cause I don't, I'm like, so like, so it was like this identity crisis. And I started finding myself, I got divorced, you know, like all of the things.
And I, I literally, I started a podcast called 30, 30 and thriving. I was like on top of the world, um, finding myself exploring what I liked, what I didn't like.
Cause when I got divorced from my husband, I had to get a new car and I was like, I don't even know what kind of car I want or like, because every decision I've ever made has always been tied to my husband or the person I was with. And like, what's going to be good the kids that we have to lug around I never was just like oh this is the car I want and that was like mind-blowing for me like I don't even know what kind of car to get um and so yeah so that was like 30 flirty and thriving I'm in my early 30s I'm thriving I'm figuring myself out I'm learning who I am bam back into this bullshit so now like, like, I'm still trying to figure it out.
Like, I, I feel like I meant for something so incredible. And maybe this is it, right? Maybe, maybe my persona is always going to be tied into being a mom and a grandma and caring for others.
But like, I just feel like I meant for something and it's so hard to just keep my eyes focused on

just building and building and building and figure out who I am when I'm

literally always like have to be available.

Like you said,

like you,

it was a crazy day today.

You have packets and all this stuff.

Like literally before we got on,

I'm like,

my daughter's calling me with some craziness.

And like,

I just had to be available for like all of these outside things.

And I was like,

how the hell do people just do their thing? Like, imagine if I just could do my thing. I was like, does mom's energy go off? I don't even know if that's like, do moms ever, well, like now you're a grandmother.
So like, do they ever just like turn off that and can be just a human outside of all? Like, I don't know. Like,'s my point so like it's funny because when Teen Mom came out I watched the first season and part of the second so you're on the second season right like the OGs yeah you I stopped watching after you because I was like but it was also frustrating because I was but anyways my point is that as I was watching as I was watching that, I was just like, at the time I was already well into raising my kids, like in my twenties.
But I was like, I wish there was like a teen moms all grown up. Like I, I mean, I had this thing like teen moms all grown up because for me, the hardest part about being a teen parent was not figuring out how to buy diapers at 15.
But it's like, it's buying your kid braces when they're 12. It's figuring out.
Amber, get out of my fucking head because Kristen and I, she's on this call or she's on the zoom or whatever. I tell her that all the time.
I'm like, I'm so sick of the fact that people will talk about teen parenting being hard because of diapers and not having a job or a license or whatever. Nobody talks about about the teen years.
I cried because I had to take my son's phone away from him last weekend. And I didn't know why he was sneaking behind my back trying to play a game on his phone.
Nobody talks about how much braces... My insurance doesn't cover braces for these kids.
I got to pay $6,000 for three out of four of my kids. And their dad...
dad, I mean, one of their dads doesn't help. And so one of them is just completely on me.
And so they don't talk about the later years, like no shit. We're exhausted when they're babies.
Every mom is exhausted when you're a baby, no matter how old you are. But the teen years and the tween years, forget about it.
Yeah. And, and that's, and that's my point.
Like

teen mom, all grown, it's like the hardest part comes later on when you are just starting to figure out who you are as a human being, while your kids are growing into human beings and you're trying to like get them to be a good human being, but like, you don't even really know yourself. You're just figuring it out.
So like, it's really, it's difficult in so many other ways. And now, yeah yeah so no matter how long I live my grandma's 87 years old and she's still independent damn it if I live that I get exhausted even thinking about living that long I'm like oh my god if I got 50 more years no I tell my kids all the time cut me off at 60 pull the fucking plug like I'm not doing this shit any, any more years after 60, I cannot do it.
Count me out. Listen, I'm like, I, I want, you know, of course, hopefully I live a long, healthy life.
Just let my grandma be independent. But that's the point.
I want to, man, if I have to 50 years of parenting and grandparenting and great grandparenting and maybe great, great grandparenting, like I just get so tired. Like it makes me cry when I think about it because I'm just like, oh, my God.
It's so much. Like, I will never not be a parent.
I will never, ever in my entire – if you get one shot at life, one. And this is why I'm promoting teen pregnancy.
Like, listen to me. I get one shot at this shit, and I will never know what it's like to not be a parent.
I will never know what it's like to not be responsible for a human, another human being financially, mentally, emotionally, like, and anyway, I will always, this is all I will ever know. So yeah, don't wait.
Just wait to have kids, please. Lord Jesus.
Oh, I tell people all the time, don't have kids. Like my, my two oldest, they tell me they don't want kids.
And I'm like, good, go explore the world, go travel. Like don't have kids if you don't want to, because just don don't and that's the thing and you know I used to tell my daughter that I'm like you know I have a lot of friends who like one of my really my best friends have had since I was eight she's having her first baby now at 37 she's I do have her any day now but like growing up my daughter she's watching all my friends I'm like do you see how beautiful my friends are? Do you see how amazing their bodies are?

Do you see how much they're traveling and how much fun they're having?

Be like them.

Do you see me?

I haven't washed my hair in three weeks.

Like, don't be like me.

My hair is not washed right now.

I have not washed it since Monday.

And I just, we just do what we can.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

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No, but nobody talks about that part. It's always, you know, you're gonna be tired be tired you need you know the diapers the formula that's not the worst part about the later years no now i'm like my tummy tuck is ruined and i don't know if i'll have i need my boobs done that's what i'm saying like you finally get to a place where you're like good.

And then you're like,

Oh,

have another baby.

Every time it's,

but every single time I'm like just getting my grooves back a little bit. And we've like kind of gotten with like the ebbs and the flows of

everything.

I find myself pregnant again.

I find myself.

I don't know how it's happening.

You would think I would know by now. You better get your money on.
Just close up shop. That's why I had to do my husband.
I was like, no, you need to. Yeah, and he did because I'm like, there's no way.
I can't. Okay, so every episode before we end it, we do dating profiles.
So I i'm gonna pull up some dating profiles that we can react to and um this is fun i haven't done this in a while actually oh good okay perfect the first dating profile says gentlemen always get treated bad girls i enjoy riding my bike slash working a lot so stacking the money for my house i'm the life of the party i'm the life of the party unlike some girls as their bums or want everything for nothing might as well go out with no one as you're all tramps yeah i i mean i knew that was where i was going from jumps he sounds like he sounds like he heard about the the run-on sentence i don't even know like i had a hard time reading it because there was no period so like i didn't know or comma so like i'm just having a hard time with the grammar yeah someone hurt him you're all tramps someone definitely hurt him okay the next one says excuse me women are a joke they are the worst creatures on planet earth this one looks like bumble or tinder maybe it says y'all just play games and treat the good decent guys like shit there are no good women around anymore he he's 5'11", and he's a Christian. It would have been easier to just put up a bunch of red flags, and just, he could have kept all of those words, just put red flag emojis, and that's it.
Well, it's just like, you're on a dating app, so if you think you're going to attract people this way, I think you need to reevaluate where you, um, you know, the whole, your life. You must have been raised believing that if you push girls, that means you like them.
You hit girls, that means you like them. You need to them.
I hate people like that. Um, and then the last one says, his about me, he's 32 and it says trigger warning.
You're probably nearing 30 with or without someone else's kids. And now you want to date and settle down with a real man.
By the age of 25, you have thrown out your price a minimum of four times because you deserve better. I have a comfy life, a good job that pays 40K plus a year with a house on the way.
What do you bring to the table? If the answer is your kids, your looks or holiday holiday wishes, go pound sand. No, no man that has a shred of self-respect would even touch you.
So he would have been easier for him to just say, I pay for Punani because clearly you ain't getting it for free. Yep.
Ain't no way. Not with that attitude.
I pay. Like you're trying to attract women, the women that you're, you're on a dating app.
Like you, I don't understand. I think a lot of these men are in the closet.
If you're gay, just say that. Exactly.
Like if you don't like women, that's okay. No, but it's that projection.
It's that projection. They are upset with themselves.
They have this hatred towards women. They're upset with themselves because they're gay and they can't just admit it.
So instead, they project their hate of themselves onto women. And that's why they're on a dating app.
You know what? I feel bad for them and I hope they heal really soon. I feel bad for the women.
Got to swipe through that. Oh my gosh, man.
I don't know what I would say if I actually was on a dating app and had to come across that. Like, I don't even know how I would react because I feel like I would get upset.
Like what is wrong with this person? But anyway, it was great to finally meet you because I follow, I've been following you for some time and where can people follow you so that they can go look, watch your TikToks, your Instagram, all that? Yep. Get Real with AB is my handle on everything.
Okay, perfect. Do you have any projects that you want to plug? Writing any books? Do you have a podcast? Oh, my God.
So, like, I have so many things. Okay.
So, first and foremost, if you're in Michigan and you're looking for a realtor, I'm a licensed realtor. And if you already are a realtor, I teach continuing education class.
You can get your credits with me. That's how you got to get them anyway.
I teach people how to use social media to grow the real estate business. I also do social media consultations.
And that was actually my day job. Like long before I actually started growing myself on social media, I helped other people grow on social media.
And amro Amberboom.net is my website. Oh, I love that.

No, perfect.

I'll put that in the bio too.

So that, or like the description of this episode

so people can click on it.

But yeah, I actually didn't know

about the real estate stuff.

So that's awesome.

Well, thank you for coming on Barely Famous.

Thank you so much for having me.

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