S4: EP 5 — Fantasy Land

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Speaker 2 Shh, you won't believe what my new friend just told me about dinosaurs.

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Speaker 5 I tell her what he has told me thus far,

Speaker 5 and she says there's a lot more.

Speaker 5 He's actually said that he's done so much that if you find out everything,

Speaker 5 there's no way you guys will be able to stay together.

Speaker 41 I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal Season 4, Episode 5:

Speaker 27 Fantasy Land.

Speaker 21 Lieutenant Joel Kern spent years building a successful career with the Colorado Springs Police Department.

Speaker 17 But in early 2022, it all unraveled after a woman came forward claiming she had sex with him in his patrol car.

Speaker 47 What started as one allegation quickly ignited a chain reaction, exposing the secret life Kern kept hidden for years.

Speaker 41 In the last episode of Betrayal, we shared recordings of the CSPD's internal affairs investigation into Joel Kern's police misconduct.

Speaker 27 After signing an agreement to tell the truth in his interview, Joel continued to lie until investigators presented him with irrefutable evidence.

Speaker 45 Several weeks later, Joel's commander recommended him for termination.

Speaker 51 Quite frankly, the legislative intent is very clear that we cannot allow peace officers to remain employed when they've lied during an IAA investigation.

Speaker 51 I have no option but to recommend your termination.

Speaker 46 Termination would risk Joel's entire career.

Speaker 27 It would be more difficult for him to get a job as a police officer ever again.

Speaker 41 Listening to the interviews in the last episode, it all sounded straightforward, open and shut.

Speaker 44 But that's not how it all shook out.

Speaker 36 Joel wasn't fired.

Speaker 47 And we'll explore what actually happened and why over the next few episodes.

Speaker 27 Following that meeting, Joel seemed to think that there was still a chance he could save his career.

Speaker 53 He had one more card to play.

Speaker 49 Here's Caroline.

Speaker 5 He said, there's a possibility I could save my job and go to an inpatient treatment program that's specific for first responders and Laguna Beach.

Speaker 27 Unbeknownst to Caroline, Joel had already started making arrangements.

Speaker 21 While his internal affairs investigation was underway, he went to a psychiatrist.

Speaker 36 He told her he needed help.

Speaker 5 The psychiatrist said he was under such duress that he really needed to go to inpatient treatment almost immediately.

Speaker 5 And according to his self-report to me and the kids, he was diagnosed with PTSD, and that was his cause and reason for being sent to inpatient rehab.

Speaker 40 Laguna Beach is in Southern California, about 90 minutes south of Los Angeles.

Speaker 39 When you first see the homepage of the rehabilitation facility, you're greeted by stunning blue-green water stretching against golden sand.

Speaker 38 It looks luxurious, and of course, it's not cheap.

Speaker 30 But Joel and Caroline wouldn't pay a dime.

Speaker 5 He said the department's going to approve it. They have a connection with them.
They'll make arrangements for me to go there. It will be paid for.
And so I said, but you're pending termination.

Speaker 46 His termination wasn't official just yet.

Speaker 39 He was in limbo, awaiting the meeting where the disciplinary ruling would be finalized.

Speaker 55 So there was still time for one last shot.

Speaker 21 If he took medical and sick leave, he could delay the disciplinary process.

Speaker 36 If he could show the department he could change, maybe he could still keep his job.

Speaker 5 Joel thought if he admitted he had a problem and he really committed to treatment, he could turn things around.

Speaker 5 He absolutely needed to go to rehab to address not only his sex addiction, but because he wanted to make sure that he was doing everything he could to show the department that he was trying to be a healthy person to continue his employment.

Speaker 27 He also told Caroline that it was a symptom of a larger issue.

Speaker 5 He began to say

Speaker 5 that he struggled over the past handful of years with just feeling as though he had a sex addiction.

Speaker 40 Joel was in repair mode to save his job and his marriage.

Speaker 49 He told Caroline he'd fully commit to the treatment program.

Speaker 40 that he'd address his mistakes head on.

Speaker 27 As furious as Caroline was, it looked like Joel was finally taking accountability.

Speaker 46 Maybe being recommended for termination was the wake-up call he needed.

Speaker 27 During this time, Joel swore he was committed to change.

Speaker 49 He kept repeating the same mantra.

Speaker 5 I want to get better. I need to go do this.
I want to get better.

Speaker 5 I softened a little bit.

Speaker 5 And when I began to soften, I started having these feelings of, will he get better? Could he get better? What does this look like?

Speaker 55 Here's Caroline's daughter, Nicole.

Speaker 5 There was this period where my mom was thinking like maybe

Speaker 5 he'll get better and then they could possibly start from scratch and start dating again.

Speaker 56 There were moments when that possibility felt within reach. Caroline never wanted to lose her family, and Joel was saying all the right things.

Speaker 53 But Nicole was having her own reckoning about her relationship with her father.

Speaker 27 Once she understood the depth of her father's betrayal, she reflected on who he had been during her childhood.

Speaker 27 She started calling him one-on-one, sometimes demanding answers, other times simply voicing her anger.

Speaker 5 During one of our phone calls, I said something. alluding to the fact like he never really paid attention to any of us.

Speaker 5 He never really did things to show appreciation for us.

Speaker 38 He'd always been less present, put in less effort than Caroline. The family had always chalked it up to his demanding job.

Speaker 33 Now his daughter was left wondering, maybe that's just who he is.

Speaker 27 Maybe her dad just didn't care.

Speaker 5 But one

Speaker 5 of the last few times that I saw him before he went to rehab,

Speaker 5 he came to the house with my mom's coffee order.

Speaker 5 The way he was at that time, he seemed remorseful.

Speaker 27 And that remorse gave Caroline the tiniest bit of hope.

Speaker 49 As Joel prepared to go to rehab, she offered him some grace.

Speaker 5 After a lot of conversation, He

Speaker 5 and I agreed that he could stay at our home in the guest bedroom before he left for rehab.

Speaker 27 Joel said he would come back from rehab a better man, that he was getting help so he could salvage the family.

Speaker 52 There was a big piece of Caroline and Nicole that wanted to believe it.

Speaker 46 But the night before he left for California, Nicole started to question, was her dad actually planning to come back?

Speaker 5 He

Speaker 5 led me downstairs, showed me how to reset the Wi-Fi.

Speaker 5 He showed me like where our air filters are and then how to turn on and off

Speaker 5 the sprinkler system for our house. It was just a bunch of little things and I remember thinking like

Speaker 5 well I guess this is it.

Speaker 5 He's never gonna come back to the house because he was showing his 17 year old daughter how to change out the air filter.

Speaker 24 There were a lot of conflicting feelings.

Speaker 55 Whenever Caroline was kind to Joel, Nicole felt protective.

Speaker 38 On one of his last nights in the house, Caroline made Joel dinner.

Speaker 5 Even after

Speaker 5 all what he did, our mom made him tacos.

Speaker 5 And I remember feeling so angry because I was like, why are we even letting him stay in the first place?

Speaker 5 If he doesn't want to show he wants to be with us, just let him figure it out on his own.

Speaker 5 I was just so frustrated at the situation at hand, him going to rehab, him doing this to our family, yet my mom is still

Speaker 5 trying

Speaker 5 to be a wife, I guess.

Speaker 53 It was a hard habit to break.

Speaker 43 Caroline's default mode was to care for her family, even Joel.

Speaker 42 And he was trying, or at least they thought he was.

Speaker 5 I will admit, we at one point had talked about if he could show that he was truly someone who struggled with addiction and was trying to engage in healthy behaviors.

Speaker 5 That at some point we could be friends, then attempt to date and start all over again.

Speaker 5 We have a dry erase board in our kitchen that we would leave notes for the kids or reminders or a grocery list, you know, whatever that may look like.

Speaker 5 The night before he left, he wrote a note to my daughter and I that said, I love you guys. I will, and underlined will, get better.

Speaker 5 And I went to erase it and my daughter asked to keep it up for a while. And then she made the decision of when it would get erased.

Speaker 46 That was the last message they would receive from Joel for a while.

Speaker 27 He was required to give up his phone during the first few weeks at rehab.

Speaker 5 After two weeks at the facility, Joel was given his phone back.

Speaker 5 And he sends a text saying just how incredible the facility is, and he thinks it's going to be beneficial to him that he wanted to be vulnerable with me and the kids.

Speaker 49 He described to Caroline how his behavior evolved, all of it by text.

Speaker 21 We asked a voice actor to read his messages.

Speaker 58 I was playing an online game in 2005 or 6 where people used an app called Palringo to communicate about game strategy.

Speaker 16 For several months, I used used it for that, and then out of curiosity, I searched sexual terms, and all these groups or chat rooms popped up.

Speaker 60 People would post porn and homemade porn on them, and that started my addiction.

Speaker 58 That progressed into chatting with females on there and sexting.

Speaker 48 Joel said that led him to seek out other apps like BetLife, the kink and fetish site that he'd been caught using at work.

Speaker 58 I downloaded the app and found all kinds of porn that included pictures and and video.

Speaker 58 I found myself becoming more immersed in it and growing resentful of you because I could not please you like the men in the porn did.

Speaker 56 Joel wasn't blaming her per se,

Speaker 55 but he was implying that this was all about not being able to satisfy her.

Speaker 58 I found myself starting to believe in the fantasy world and my self-esteem crashed. There were no boundaries or limitations in this fantasy world.

Speaker 58 I could say things to women that were not imaginable in real life.

Speaker 27 Joel went on to explain in graphic detail how this fantasy escalated into real-life actions.

Speaker 60 I could get a blowjob and feel more manly.

Speaker 61 Once I saw how easy it was, I got hooked on that.

Speaker 16 I felt guilty and knew what I was doing was wrong, but by then, it didn't matter.

Speaker 58 Low self-esteem, self-hatred, depression, anxiety, addiction all contributed to my behavior and actions.

Speaker 58 Sane people would not do what I did, but I literally was not in my right mind.

Speaker 37 Joel went on to say that this wasn't a justification for his behavior, just an explanation.

Speaker 56 Then he tried to assure her he had told her all of his secrets.

Speaker 61 You have discovered everything, and I have told you about all that is significant, or I remember. I have tried to explain it as best I can in this text.

Speaker 58 Are there things I'm omitting?

Speaker 16 Absolutely.

Speaker 58 But not out of intentional deception.

Speaker 60 I simply can't remember everything.

Speaker 58 I hope that this in some way helps show that I'm being honest and forthcoming about my actions.

Speaker 53 Back in Colorado Springs, Nicole watched her mom grapple with the tug of war between hurt and hope.

Speaker 5 She

Speaker 5 was trying so hard to be with my dad for the beginning of it, like trying to work through it and trying to like maybe start fresh with him.

Speaker 50 Still, Caroline felt that Joel was holding back.

Speaker 27 For example, when she asked if he had affairs with any co-workers, his response was cagey.

Speaker 58 I want to engage in conversations to heal. I'd be happy to address this, but I'm wary of piling on for the divorce proceedings.

Speaker 58 If there is any hope of working through this, then I want to address this.

Speaker 27 Caroline suspected he was still carefully picking and choosing what he'd fess up to.

Speaker 21 She wrestled with all of this while trying to keep some normalcy for their daughter.

Speaker 39 Nicole was a junior in high school.

Speaker 27 So while Joel was in rehab, Caroline took her to tour a college campus hundreds of miles from home.

Speaker 44 That's where Caroline was when she got a call from Joel's case manager at the treatment center.

Speaker 27 Joel gave the facility permission to keep Caroline updated about his care, but this was the first time she'd heard from a staff member.

Speaker 5 And so she said, he said that it's important for you to know that he is doing all of these things and trying to get better to not only keep his job, but to try to change and be a different person.

Speaker 5 And so I tell her what he has told me thus far.

Speaker 5 And she says,

Speaker 5 there's a lot more.

Speaker 5 He's actually said that he's done so much that if you find out everything, there's no way you guys will be able to stay together.

Speaker 46 Then the case manager got to the point.

Speaker 55 The real reason, she was calling Caroline.

Speaker 5 She said he was one of the worst cases of sex addiction she had ever seen.

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Speaker 32 When your alarm goes off in the morning, do you feel energized or are you tempted by the snooze button again and again?

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Speaker 56 Caroline received a call from the rehabilitation center where Joel was being treated.

Speaker 44 The case manager was direct with their assessment of Joel.

Speaker 5 She said he was one of the worst cases of sex addiction she had ever seen.

Speaker 5 She's telling me all this and my head is just spinning.

Speaker 5 I'm on a campus trying to keep some normalcy for our daughter and let her be able to get a glimpse of what her future could be on a college campus. I'm trying to hold it together emotionally for her.

Speaker 5 I'm trying to hold it together emotionally for myself.

Speaker 44 The case manager's words replayed in her head.

Speaker 37 Maybe the story Joel was telling Caroline about reflections, breakthroughs, and progress was just that.

Speaker 64 A story.

Speaker 5 One night I get a phone call and he says he has his ability to call people now. And he's talking himself up.

Speaker 5 And he's saying, you know, what a leader he is at the facility, that he doesn't think he's even going to be there the full time because he's just doing so great.

Speaker 5 And his therapist thinks he's amazing and he is taking on different leadership roles in his groups. And I couldn't take it anymore.

Speaker 44 So she told Joel about the phone call with the case manager.

Speaker 55 The case manager's version of Joel's progress did not match his.

Speaker 5 Joel became infuriated.

Speaker 5 And he said that she was a bitch. And, you know, this is why now he could see why she was standoffish to him.

Speaker 5 You know, he just completely twisted it and turned it and then let me know he didn't want her contacting me for anything ever again.

Speaker 5 And so I said, sounds sounds appropriate at this point because you're not honest with me and you're not honest with this treatment team.

Speaker 27 If he wasn't going to tell her the full truth, she would investigate herself.

Speaker 5 And I can't tell you what prompted me to finally have this epiphany, but I did.

Speaker 5 I had this moment after all of this to pull our phone records.

Speaker 27 To understand the gravity of this next story, we have to go back in time, about five years prior, when Nicole was in middle school.

Speaker 50 When I first introduced you to the family, I told you that their son and daughter were accomplished athletes and hardworking students.

Speaker 27 It's extraordinary they have maintained that, especially considering the trauma they have experienced.

Speaker 38 For Nicole, it wasn't the first time she had faced adversity.

Speaker 5 Middle school and the beginning years of high school definitely weren't the best for me.

Speaker 21 For several years, Nicole was bullied.

Speaker 39 She felt like one girl had turned the entire school against her.

Speaker 5 There was a ring later.

Speaker 5 It was the typical sort of movie scene where she seemed really popular and had a bunch of friends and everyone was like crowding around her and her lunch table was big where mine

Speaker 5 was not.

Speaker 5 It was hard forming some connections.

Speaker 5 And so a lot of times family dinner would be the first time like I ever talked to anyone that day.

Speaker 5 It was hard. So that structure of family dinner was important to me.

Speaker 5 This girl definitely was someone who was a leader amongst her peers and somehow was able to get folks to kind of side with her in essence.

Speaker 5 And so she often was able to rally folks to isolate our daughter. Nicole would often be in tears talking about how this little girl at school was bullying her relentlessly.

Speaker 5 And I was really caught between a rock and a hard place between not wanting to give into a bully, but also to try to instill self-confidence in her and look out for her safety.

Speaker 1 Joel had casual contact with the mother of Nicole's bully through the kids' activities.

Speaker 5 I said, don't you think maybe we should sit down and talk to her? And he said, let's see if the girls can work this out on her own.

Speaker 5 And he just reiterated that this was a piece of growing up and that we really should reinstill self-confidence in our own child so that she could stick up for herself.

Speaker 53 It was a painful chapter that only improved as Nicole made more friends in high school.

Speaker 55 Okay, now back to the phone records.

Speaker 5 I had this moment after all of this to pull our phone records.

Speaker 5 I searched the first number and it came back as the mom of the little girl who bullied our daughter so heavily throughout middle school and the onset of high school.

Speaker 34 It was right there in black and white.

Speaker 56 Call after call, text after text between Joel and the mother of Nicole's bully.

Speaker 5 Around six in the morning, I called Joel and he answered.

Speaker 5 I said, Joel, I just pulled our phone records.

Speaker 5 Why are you in constant contact with?

Speaker 5 And he got really quiet.

Speaker 5 And then he said, she saw me at Target and thought I looked really skinny. And so she was concerned for me.
So she's just been checking on me. And I said, no,

Speaker 5 I just don't believe you.

Speaker 46 They both knew it was total BS.

Speaker 38 But for Joel, lying was like a reflex.

Speaker 25 This time, Caroline demanded the truth.

Speaker 17 And finally, he confessed.

Speaker 5 He said that he had been having an affair with her since our son graduated from high school. It started because She reached out to him and congratulated him on all of our son's accolades.

Speaker 5 And then he was very matter of fact and said, Then she said to me, I always looked forward to seeing you because I thought you were cute.

Speaker 5 And he said, from that moment, I knew she'd be easy to have sex with. And so he said that he started driving to her home at least three times a week and would have sex with her while he was on duty.

Speaker 36 All of this was revealed on May 8th, which happened to be Caroline's birthday and Mother's Day.

Speaker 39 At this point, the kids insisted on knowing every new detail. They wanted to know the truth no matter how disturbing.

Speaker 5 I was just about to turn 17.

Speaker 5 I didn't want to be in the shadows, and I wanted like the full picture of my dad.

Speaker 5 But then sometimes the full picture of my dad was

Speaker 5 a little gory.

Speaker 5 And so it was hard to hear.

Speaker 41 Hard to hear is an understatement.

Speaker 49 Joel having an affair with the mother of her bully was devastating.

Speaker 52 Nicole confronted her dad.

Speaker 5 She said, you knew what that girl did to me. You knew how she treated me.
You knew that sometimes you and mommy were the first people I spoke to all day because she got everyone to ignore me.

Speaker 5 And then you went and had sex with her mom.

Speaker 5 And he just said, I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 so it was just kind of a reality check like my dad just did not care

Speaker 5 did not care about his actions and who

Speaker 5 his actions

Speaker 43 affected this was the last draw for their son how a parent can

Speaker 15 witness firsthand the torment that another child puts on their kid

Speaker 15 knowing this and then deciding I'm going to have an affair with her mom.

Speaker 15 And so there's the breaking point where it's like,

Speaker 15 you are not someone I look up to anymore.

Speaker 5 You're Joel to me now.

Speaker 15 You can go fuck yourself.

Speaker 2 You won't believe what my new friend just told me about dinosaurs.

Speaker 3 Is your child having conversations you never imagined?

Speaker 5 Are they learning without realizing it?

Speaker 6 It's not a tablet. It's not a toy.

Speaker 8 It's Miko Mini Plus, the AI-powered companion that turns curiosity into endless learning.

Speaker 11 Hear the future of playtime.

Speaker 7 Meet the extraordinary Miko Mini Plus.

Speaker 4 Only at Costco.

Speaker 12 Life gets messy. Spills, stains, and kid chaos.
But with Anime, cleaning up is easy. Our sofas are fully machine washable, inside and out, so you never have to stress about messes again.

Speaker 12 Made with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind.

Speaker 12 Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers, allowing you to refresh your style anytime. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly.

Speaker 12 Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes. Plus, they're earth-friendly and built to last.
That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch.

Speaker 12 Get early access to Black Friday pricing right now. Sofas started just $699.

Speaker 12 Visit washable sofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life. That's washable sofas.com.
Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 32 When your alarm goes off in the morning, do you feel energized or are you tempted by the snooze button again and again?

Speaker 17 If you're dragging yourself out of bed, fighting brain fog and fatigue, I've been there too.

Speaker 24 Then I found Early Birds Morning Cocktail.

Speaker 29 It's formulated with clinically studied ingredients like clean caffeine, electrolytes, antioxidants, and adaptogens.

Speaker 26 It's a simple morning cocktail that fits seamlessly into my wake-up routine.

Speaker 21 It starts working immediately to combat grogginess, fatigue, and mental blocks.

Speaker 33 One drink, and the brain fog clears.

Speaker 64 The fatigue lifts.

Speaker 30 I'm in control of my day again.

Speaker 24 Take back your mornings. Visit clubearlybird.com and use code betrayal for 20% off.

Speaker 35 That's clubearlybird.com.

Speaker 65 Scams are everywhere. On your phone, in your inbox, even on your television screen.
Looking at you, Tinder swindler. What is it about scams that has pop culture so obsessed?

Speaker 65 Maybe it's because it could happen to anyone.

Speaker 66 Or maybe it's because we're all so deeply fascinated by the psyche of someone who can lie with ease, cheat with no guilt, and convince the world that they are who they say they are, even when they're not.

Speaker 65 Scamfluencers is a weekly podcast that takes you into the world of deception, sharing the stories of today's most notorious scams.

Speaker 11 Like the recent episode of Natalie Cochrane, the pharmacist femme fatale.

Speaker 66 It seemed like she had it all. A good job, loving husband, and two kids.

Speaker 66 But behind the scenes, Natalie was scamming friends and family using using fake contracts, fake government emails, and she even faked cancer.

Speaker 66 But when the walls start closing in, she'll do anything to keep the lie alive until someone ends up dead.

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Speaker 56 The betrayal with the bully's mom was the deepest wound. And the fact that Joel didn't tell his family about it himself made it that much worse.

Speaker 53 But the phone records revealed much more.

Speaker 57 The affairs didn't end there.

Speaker 27 Caroline tracked down the identity of another phone number that appeared multiple times.

Speaker 49 This discovery helped her to make sense of something that had bothered her for years.

Speaker 5 Like a lot of spouses who their significant other spouse is a police officer who works during the evening hours, the kids and I would take him dinner.

Speaker 5 And so when I would take him dinner, there was a specific employee who is just so incredibly mean to me and the kids.

Speaker 5 If our son would drive down and bring him like ice cream or something like that, he would notice that this specific person, that she was just incredibly rude and just not nice.

Speaker 38 It upset Caroline, and she regularly brought it up to Joel.

Speaker 5 And he would be like, oh, look, you know, she's a miserable person. That's just who she is.
You gotta, you gotta let that go.

Speaker 1 Turns out, Joel had been contacting this coworker repeatedly.

Speaker 5 When Caroline called Joel to ask if this was another affair, he denied it. He said, come on, Caroline, she's just checking on me to make sure I'm okay.
I said, I just don't believe you. And I hung up.

Speaker 5 And then he admitted that he had started having an affair with this employee.

Speaker 5 when he was a midnight lieutenant and that the affair had continued on off and on intermittently over the years and that she was even in the process of booking a ticket to come out and see him while he was in rehab.

Speaker 23 In one text, Joel laments about his situation to this same co-worker.

Speaker 58 There are pages upon pages of my text exchanges with you and our family phone bill. And Caroline and the kids seeing it has not lent me to building any trust.

Speaker 58 I should be in contact with them, trying to win their trust back.

Speaker 18 He was attempting to cut off contact.

Speaker 42 It was too little, too late.

Speaker 41 Only 10 days after Caroline dealt with the phone records, an emergency jolted her out of her grief.

Speaker 5 It was our daughter. She was driving from lunch back to school,

Speaker 5 and she was hit by a driver who had a long history of DUIs, and the driver T-bones her.

Speaker 5 and

Speaker 5 totals the car.

Speaker 5 I got there and our daughter was just completely in shock and in a ton of pain.

Speaker 21 They drove to the hospital.

Speaker 26 Caroline felt it was important to let Joel know, but his friends at CSPD had beat her to the punch.

Speaker 5 He proceeds to tell me how he already knew some of the facts of the accident because his friends had recognized her name on the call screen.

Speaker 25 He knew and he didn't call Caroline.

Speaker 40 Nicole continues to recover and still has anxiety about about driving.

Speaker 49 In the weeks that followed, the contact between Joel and Caroline mostly revolved around logistics concerning the total car from the accident.

Speaker 43 There wasn't much more to discuss.

Speaker 47 Then one day, Caroline got a call from the rehab.

Speaker 25 They had a problem.

Speaker 5 He says to me, Yeah, well, we don't know where Joel's at, so we wanted to check in. Is he with you? Or, you know, do you know if he's still at the facility? And I said, No, I have no idea.

Speaker 5 And so we still had his location on all of our phones. So I pulled up his location.
I could specifically see an address where he was at in Hermosa Beach. And then I just looked at our phone records.

Speaker 5 Easy enough. And the phone records had one specific number over and over again.
And so I googled the number. It comes up to a female's name.

Speaker 5 And then I called the number. And I just said, hey, just to let you know, my estranged husband, I believe you're with him.
he's at a treatment facility and they're looking for him.

Speaker 5 It's important that you let him know that they're looking for him.

Speaker 5 Shortly after that, I got a phone call from Joel who said that he had relapsed and had fallen prey to his addictions and that he had been meeting women online again and had been going out to different areas surrounding Laguna and meeting women.

Speaker 27 Caroline sent emails to his case manager advising him of where Joel had gone.

Speaker 55 With that email went Caroline's last shred of hope. Joel hadn't let go of his habits.

Speaker 21 He'd just relocated them.

Speaker 43 Caroline made the decision to prioritize herself and her daughter's needs.

Speaker 5 His next contact with me was to call to say that he wanted me to know that he got a job.

Speaker 45 This was June 2022.

Speaker 55 After about two months in rehab, Joel told Caroline he was leaving. He landed a new job outside of law enforcement.

Speaker 1 He was getting his own apartment in Colorado.

Speaker 38 Caroline was confused. She thought all of this was to try and save his job at the police department.

Speaker 5 And so he said he was at this point just hoping he could retire without any type of concern or charge of misconduct.

Speaker 27 He wouldn't know if he would be criminally charged or how his actions would affect his record until later in the summer.

Speaker 23 Would he be allowed to retire scot-free or would there be consequences?

Speaker 27 We'll get to this in our next episode. For now, though, Joel seemed to accept that he had to move on from the CSPD.

Speaker 47 He came back to Colorado to start a new job.

Speaker 49 And Caroline got clear about their relationship.

Speaker 42 It was over.

Speaker 43 Now they would have to work out the terms of their divorce.

Speaker 27 So they set a meeting to hash out details concerning money, property, and custody.

Speaker 5 He and I agree that we'll meet on the 4th of July to agree on some things to be able to divide them out. And we agree to meet at a coffee shop that we used to frequent together a lot.

Speaker 5 And so when I walked into the coffee shop, it was just so bizarre. I see this older gentleman who clearly is not my husband.
I see a young teenager who obviously is not my husband.

Speaker 5 And then I see this man

Speaker 5 who is fully bearded, hair is shaggy, he's wearing a fedora and a skull shirt, and he's waving at me from a distance.

Speaker 5 And I had to take pause and stand for several seconds in the entryway of this coffee shop and stare at him. Joel had always been someone who was extremely clean-cut.

Speaker 5 And I just sat down.

Speaker 5 And so as I sat down, he had his phone facing up.

Speaker 5 And I could see

Speaker 5 prompt after prompt after prompt coming up, you know, just notification after notification after notification of his phone, of various dating apps, tender, bumble, and it was just constant, constant, constant.

Speaker 54 Caroline ignored the unending alerts.

Speaker 38 Then the conversation turned to their daughter.

Speaker 27 Following the incident with her bully's mother, Nicole refused to be in contact with Joel.

Speaker 40 But she was 17, so there was still the issue of child support.

Speaker 5 He said he shouldn't have to pay child support for someone who wasn't in contact with him.

Speaker 5 And so we went back and forth, and we even talked about that when we went through the mediation process. And

Speaker 5 I could not see myself forcing her to go through that. I mean, my attorney advised me that we could go and have court testimony and take a look at what a judge would rule on that.

Speaker 5 And I just agreed to waive child support so that I didn't have to put her through that.

Speaker 5 After we agreed on how things would be divided out,

Speaker 36 we started walking out of the coffee shop.

Speaker 5 He walks me over to where I parked. And it's such an ironic memory because

Speaker 5 I see his watch and I can just see the constant notifications.

Speaker 5 And so I thought to myself, let's see what you say.

Speaker 5 And I just said, your phone kept going off and your watch is going off so much.

Speaker 5 And his comment was,

Speaker 5 these are all my friends from rehab and my therapist. They just keep reaching out to me.

Speaker 5 I mean, even in that moment, after everything that had gone on, he just looked at me and lied. I mean, blatantly lied.

Speaker 5 And so I didn't even argue with him on it. I just nodded my head.

Speaker 5 And then I said, thanks for meeting me. Have a good 4th of July.

Speaker 5 And then he said, can I have a hug? And I said, no.

Speaker 5 And then he just stared at me for several seconds. And like,

Speaker 5 his voice was cracking.

Speaker 5 And he said,

Speaker 5 you will always be the love of my life.

Speaker 5 And I just stared at him.

Speaker 5 And then he said, I hope you know I love you more than anything in this world and I always will.

Speaker 5 And all I could say back was, okay.

Speaker 5 And we parted ways.

Speaker 5 And that was the last time we saw each other. And probably ever will.

Speaker 5 On the next episode of Betrayal, when I came home, there was this envelope taped to our front door. And she just had this desperation in her face like she just was hoping for it.

Speaker 5 And she said, oh my gosh, is that from my dad?

Speaker 37 Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season 4.

Speaker 27 If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email us at betrayalpod at gmail.com.

Speaker 41 That's betrayalpod

Speaker 36 at gmail.com.

Speaker 30 Also, please be sure to follow us on Instagram at betrayalpod and me, Andrea H.

Speaker 1 Gunning, for all betrayal content, news, and updates.

Speaker 37 One way to support this series is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts.

Speaker 41 Please rate and review Betrayal.

Speaker 42 Five-star reviews help us know you appreciate what we do.

Speaker 35 Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 37 The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison.

Speaker 41 Betrayal is hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Carrie Hartman.

Speaker 44 Also produced by Ben Fetterman.

Speaker 27 Our associate producers are Caitlin Golden and Kristen Melchuri. Our iHeart team is Allie Perry and Jessica Kreinchek.

Speaker 54 Story editing by Monique Laborde. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio.
Editing by Tanner Robbins.

Speaker 55 Special thanks to voice actor John Balomo.

Speaker 20 And special thanks to Caroline and her family.

Speaker 48 Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines.

Speaker 20 Music library provided by My Music.

Speaker 35 And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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