S3: E8 – No More Secrets

Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.

Speaker 1 You know that feeling when your alarm goes off and your first thought is, why do I feel so awful? It's like being betrayed by your own body. But here's the plot twist: it's not your fault.

Speaker 1 Dehydration and brain fog are sabotaging you beneath the surface. When I found Early Bird's morning cocktail, I felt the shift immediately.

Speaker 1 It's this blood-orange mimosa drink that you mix the night before and you keep on your nightstand. When the alarm goes off, you drink, and it's like flipping flipping a switch.

Speaker 1 Clean energy, no brain fog, no crash. I'm in control of my day again.
Early Bird is clinically engineered to target morning fatigue from all angles.

Speaker 1 There's clean, natural caffeine, mood lifting nootropics, and a supercharged electrolyte blend to combat dehydration. This is more than just a morning drink.

Speaker 1 It's a science-backed tool to help you take control of your mornings and own your potential. It gives me the energy to show up as the best, most accomplished version of myself.

Speaker 1 Discover how good it feels to rise and grind grind on your own terms. Visit clubearlybird.com and use code BETRAYAL for 20% off.
That's clubearlybird.com.

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Speaker 3 Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your home.

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Speaker 4 Add a little

Speaker 3 to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 5 This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturees with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 2 This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 5 What if you could boost your Wi-Fi to one of your devices when you need it most? Because Xfinity Wi-Fi can. Like when you need to upload 200 photos of your cat in a Santa hat to post online.

Speaker 2 We've all been there. And what if your Wi-Fi could proactively fix issues before they even happen?

Speaker 5 Xfinity Wi-Fi does that too.

Speaker 2 It's like having a little holiday helper. And what if your Wi-Fi had parental instincts built right in so your kids are always protected online?

Speaker 5 It's Wi-Fi that's not just smart, it's brilliant. And during the holidays, that's a gift we all could use.

Speaker 2 Xfinity, imagine that.

Speaker 1 Hi all, we have some exciting news to share. ABC News Studios has turned Ashley's story from Betrayal Season 2 into a docuseries.
You will get to meet the people involved.

Speaker 1 You will hear from people who have never spoken before. And you get to see where the story took place.
We are so proud and excited to share it with you all.

Speaker 1 You can start streaming it on Hulu on July 30th.

Speaker 7 Stacy has pulled herself out of a complete nightmare. I can't even imagine

Speaker 7 finding this out.

Speaker 7 If it had been my son, my husband wouldn't be here, it would have been no trial. I'd have took care of him myself.

Speaker 1 I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal Season 3, Episode 8.

Speaker 1 No more secrets.

Speaker 1 In 1931, the citizens of Reading, Pennsylvania, were upset because their courthouse, originally built in 1840, was going to be demolished.

Speaker 1 It was to be replaced by a new, more modern building, a huge granite and limestone structure with tall vertical windows. The budget for the new courthouse was $2 million,

Speaker 1 which is about $43 million in today's money. The building would be 19 stories high and boasts 16 courtrooms.

Speaker 1 It was completed in 1932, and nearly 100 years later, that same Berks County Courthouse stands today.

Speaker 1 This is where Justin Rutherford would face the final chapter of justice.

Speaker 1 On Tuesday, February 6, 2024, he would be called to account for criminal solicitation to commit murder in the first degree. It was time to pay for the plot to kill Tyler.

Speaker 1 In the vastness of the courtroom, Justin looked small. He was dwarfed by the space and by the judge looking down on him from the bench above.

Speaker 1 It was a stark contrast to Justin's last appearance in court. There were no reporters and no crowds, just rows and rows of empty benches.
There were only four spectators.

Speaker 1 The prosecutor had irrefutable evidence for her case. A jailhouse informant had assisted law enforcement, and Justin was caught on tape.
explaining the best time and method to kill Tyler.

Speaker 1 It's what one might call a slam dunk. The prosecutor had been hoping to reach a plea agreement, but it appeared that Justin wanted to go to trial.

Speaker 1 Based on the letters he had sent from jail and the absurd speeches he had given during his sentencing, I can imagine the fantasy.

Speaker 1 He'd like a defense attorney to stand up like he's in a TV show and enumerate Justin's many wonderful qualities. He's a great dad, a good provider, loved by his patients.

Speaker 1 And the judge would say, this is a misunderstood man and a doctor no less. This is a miscarriage of justice.

Speaker 1 Maybe this time, someone would get it. He wanted a trial.
He wanted someone to say the words, not guilty.

Speaker 1 So a few days before the trial, it was looking like he wasn't going to make a plea deal until he did.

Speaker 8 I still had to show up just in case at the last minute he would have thrown a Hail Mary and said, nope, I'm not signing this.

Speaker 2 I want a trial.

Speaker 8 The district attorney said that we would have went directly into one. So to my knowledge, all of the witnesses were there.
The guy that was the informant, I think he was there.

Speaker 1 Based on the transcripts, we've reenacted some of the court proceedings from the hearing.

Speaker 9 Your Honor, we are here in the matter of Commonwealth of Pennsylvania versus Justin Rutherford, Dockett 766.

Speaker 9 We were listed for jury trial for today. However, the defendant has completed paperwork for a guilty plea today.

Speaker 1 Stacey, Michaela, and a victim advocate, sat behind the prosecutor's table in courtroom 5A.

Speaker 1 A familiar person sat behind Justin.

Speaker 8 It was just Nanny.

Speaker 8 She was the only one that went to the first case on his behalf, too.

Speaker 8 That's just kind of how she is.

Speaker 8 I mean, when it comes comes to him,

Speaker 8 there's really nothing that she won't do for him.

Speaker 1 Justin sat in the far corner of the courtroom as Prosecutor Meg McCallum laid out the details of the case.

Speaker 9 Between October 2nd of 2022 and January 17th of 2023, the defendant did solicit an inmate who was also in prison at the Berks County jail system, who was going to be released from prison prior to the defendant being sentenced.

Speaker 9 He asked him to kill Tyler, a a male juvenile who is the victim at docket 3752 of 2021, where the defendant did plead guilty and was sentenced for rape of a child and other related offenses.

Speaker 9 The defendant did have discussions with the inmate describing Tyler and his family schedules and when it would be best to kill Tyler and methods to kill Tyler.

Speaker 9 The defendant provided Tyler's address and a diagram of the home where he lived with his mother and his other siblings.

Speaker 9 The defendant indicated to the inmate that after the murder was completed, he should flee to Europe and that he and the defendant would meet up with each other after the defendant was released from prison, after his sexual assault case was dismissed, and that the defendant would then provide the inmate with money from a secret bank account.

Speaker 1 Tyler did not attend this hearing. He had a job and didn't want to return to Pennsylvania and give Justin the satisfaction of seeing him again.

Speaker 1 Stacy was permitted to make a victim impact statement. She spoke directly to Justin.
She let him know how strong her family was and that his crimes didn't break them. He appeared unmoved and vacant.

Speaker 1 He looked right through her.

Speaker 1 Then the judge asked if there was anything the defendant wanted to say. There would be none of the wild statements from the last hearing.
This time, Justin's lawyer spoke for him.

Speaker 4 Yes, Judge, good morning. Mr.
Rutherford has written a lot. I'm going to try to read some verbatim and summarize some.

Speaker 4 His last sentencing kind of went off the rails a little bit, and I want to try to focus on the sentencing as much as I can.

Speaker 8 I think this new lawyer was a little bit more sensible, considering the first case, and

Speaker 8 knew that what he wrote up probably was really screwed up because Justin didn't read it.

Speaker 4 He is amongst probably the more educated defendants you'll find.

Speaker 4 He was a physician, Your Honor. And a lot of these are not excuses, more mitigation that I'm about to present.
And not to excuse his behavior, but Mr. Rutherford was quite mentally ill in jail.

Speaker 4 The insanity defense is not a possibility given the clandestine nature and some of the code and some of those things.

Speaker 4 This could have very well been a guilty but mentally ill sentence. However, with the current sentence, it's not appropriate.
He was on and off medications.

Speaker 4 And he, you know,

Speaker 4 did in his letter, and I'll try to read it verbatim.

Speaker 4 He does accept

Speaker 4 responsibility for his actions.

Speaker 8 His lawyer had the paper in front of him, and he kind of would skim over it and be like, Yeah, we're not saying that. No.

Speaker 1 Justin's attorney then pulled out a letter Justin had written for Stacey.

Speaker 4 I read the letter, Judge. I believe it's appropriate.

Speaker 4 It puts simply:

Speaker 6 What a rocky road.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry to have put you through this stress.

Speaker 4 I've allowed myself to be a product of my environment. You know, that's not the real me.

Speaker 4 The man who was never violent at home,

Speaker 4 It's no excuse. I'm just trying to do what's right and what's honest.

Speaker 4 I know I made mistakes, lots of them, but I hope you will release that grudge you hold against me.

Speaker 4 I still pray for you every night. I'll never stop.
Take care. Wish you the best.

Speaker 1 Justin said those words again.

Speaker 1 I was never violent at home. Several months in prison had done nothing to enlighten him to the fact that rape is violence.

Speaker 1 The idea that he was praying for Stacey revealed the arrogance he still possessed.

Speaker 8 He always has something to say. He always wants to make excuses for his behavior versus taking responsibility for what he did to Tyler.

Speaker 1 But legally, he had taken responsibility, and that's what the prosecutor wanted. It would limit his ability to appeal or change his mind.

Speaker 9 Your Honor, the Commonwealth made this offer of five to 10 years concurrent based on the length of the sentence that the defendant received at docket 3752 of 2021.

Speaker 9 I believe that the defendant has now taken responsibility for this. It alleviated the necessity of a trial, which we all know is often burdensome to everyone.

Speaker 2 And Ms.

Speaker 9 Rutherford had indicated to me through our multiple discussions that she was okay with that.

Speaker 9 And so we are asking that your honor go by the agreed upon sentence to bring closure to this family.

Speaker 9 And because he's serving a sentence of 26 years, 10 months at his minimum, he would not even be eligible for parole on his underlying sexual assault charges until he is close to 60.

Speaker 1 Five to 10 concurrent time meant he would get no additional prison time.

Speaker 1 The judge didn't have to agree to the plea deal, and he let everyone in the courtroom know the only reason he did was because of the length of Justin's sentence for rape and voyeurism convictions.

Speaker 1 The whole process took half an hour. When it had finished, Stacey asked to meet the informant, Justin's cellmate, who had come forward to report Justin's plan to kill Tyler.

Speaker 8 I just wanted to thank him for essentially saving my child's life.

Speaker 8 Had it not been for him coming forward, this would have never been possible.

Speaker 8 What his crimes were is irrelevant to me.

Speaker 8 What was relevant was that he saved my child's life.

Speaker 1 The prosecutor declined to make that introduction, but she did promise to convey Stacey's gratitude to the informant. It would have to be enough.
And with that, after three years, it was all over.

Speaker 1 They were finally, really

Speaker 1 done with Justin.

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You know that feeling when your alarm goes off and your first thought is, why do I feel so awful?

Speaker 1 It's like being betrayed by your own body. But here's the plot twist.
It's not your fault. Dehydration and brain fog are sabotaging you beneath the surface.

Speaker 1 When I found Early Bird's morning cocktail, I felt the shift immediately. It's this blood-orange mimosa drink that you mix the night before and you keep on your nightstand.

Speaker 1 When the alarm goes off, you drink and it's like flipping a switch. Clean energy, no brain fog, no crash.
I'm in control of of my day again.

Speaker 1 Early Bird is clinically engineered to target morning fatigue from all angles. There's clean, natural caffeine, mood-lifting nootropics, and a supercharged electrolyte blend to combat dehydration.

Speaker 1 This is more than just a morning drink. It's a science-backed tool to help you take control of your mornings and own your potential.

Speaker 1 It gives me the energy to show up as the best, most accomplished version of myself. Discover how good it feels to rise and grind on your own terms.

Speaker 1 Visit clubearlybird.com and use code BERTRAIL for 20% off. That's clubearlybird.com.

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Speaker 1 With the legal proceedings in the rearview mirror, Stacey and Tyler are holding their community close. And it might surprise you, some of those closest to them today are members of Justin's family.

Speaker 1 In previous series, I've seen examples where blood relations take sides. But that has not happened here.
They support Stacy and accept that it's Justin who caused all the damage.

Speaker 1 Here's Justin's aunt, Nancy.

Speaker 10 It is extremely extremely hard to accept that the little baby, the little boy I knew, did something like that to another little boy.

Speaker 10 I just, I couldn't understand it and I still can't understand it.

Speaker 1 Another relative who wishes to remain anonymous, we'll call her Susan, recalls finding out what happened.

Speaker 7 I actually threw up. because I'm like, what is he doing? Not to mention the first thing, but I don't understand how he came to that point.
You're born innocent.

Speaker 7 How in the world do you get so wired up where you want to kill somebody and plan it out?

Speaker 7 He's so arrogant. He wants to actually see me for two hours straight to explain everything.
He thinks I'm an idiot. I walk in there, he's going to look me in the eyes and tell me why.

Speaker 1 I wondered if Nancy thought about seeing Justin and what she would want to say to him.

Speaker 10 I would ask him why.

Speaker 10 Tyler's a great kid, and I don't understand why he did that to that little boy.

Speaker 10 What was done to him was wrong. I would ask Justin on what planet he thought that was even remotely right.

Speaker 10 And then to hook up cameras.

Speaker 10 What was he thinking?

Speaker 10 I know in his mind, he's justifying this.

Speaker 10 I was in love. He was my boyfriend.

Speaker 10 But you and I know that is just plain ass wrong.

Speaker 1 Susan wrestles with going to see Justin in prison.

Speaker 7 He can't expect he's going to turn me on his side. I can't imagine Tyler lying all these years and then you want to kill him too?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 7 I want to see him because I want to say goodbye

Speaker 7 before something happens to him.

Speaker 1 Both women have very strong feelings about justice.

Speaker 7 Stacy has pulled herself out of a complete nightmare.

Speaker 7 I can't even imagine finding this out.

Speaker 7 If it had been my son, my husband wouldn't be here.

Speaker 7 It wouldn't have been no trial. I'd have took care of him myself.

Speaker 1 Justin's Aunt Nancy admires Stacy's restraint.

Speaker 10 Stacy's a stronger person than me. I'd attacked him.
Yet when I found out what he did to my child, it would have been all over.

Speaker 10 I'd have probably been the one in jail.

Speaker 1 Susan loves Tyler and has been looking for signs that he's okay.

Speaker 7 Our last meeting, our last dinner, we had with the kids. Me and him talked, and he literally, he got up and gave me a hug.
And I said, this is the first time I've seen you smile.

Speaker 7 So he's going to help somebody. Somebody that's scared to death is going to hear this, and he's not going to be scared anymore.
And he's going to think it's okay or she to go get some help.

Speaker 1 She is particularly concerned for Stacy's youngest daughter, Justin's biological child.

Speaker 7 I'm really worried about her down in the future because that's her dad. You're going to have dad and daughter dances.
You're going to have school with them bringing their dads.

Speaker 7 That's going to torment her because someone's going to always ask, Where's your dad?

Speaker 7 And that's going to really be harder as she gets older.

Speaker 1 But she knows Stacy is on top of all of it.

Speaker 7 I'm really proud of Stacy. She's just going to have a long road.

Speaker 1 When I visited Stacy and Tyler in West Virginia, I noticed how long it would take to travel a mile. The terrain was so different from what I normally see.

Speaker 1 My Airbnb was just a mile and a half away, yet it still took 25 minutes to reach Stacy's home. There were winding roads and out-of-the-way passes I had to drive through in the other direction.

Speaker 1 And I realized it was such a good metaphor for living with betrayal.

Speaker 1 In the aftermath, rebuilding is a process. It takes you in different directions.
It's not linear. For Stacey and Tyler, it's been three years and they've made a lot of progress.

Speaker 1 But sometimes it doesn't feel like you've traveled very far at all. It's a reminder that when you're climbing a mountain of grief, it just takes time.

Speaker 1 What grounds you is taking stock of what's around you or in front of you. During those drives winding up and down across the mountain range, we would drive in and out of rainstorms.

Speaker 1 I would look far out to see light beaming onto the vast pastures in the valley. And I thought of Stacey, Tyler, and their family.
The love they have. The closeness they share.

Speaker 1 Their laughter and sense of humor. It's unique, beautiful, and rare.
It radiates like the light shining down on the valley. Hope while navigating a mountain in a storm.

Speaker 1 I knew when we wrapped up this story that it wasn't finished. They aren't finished.
But they are going to be okay.

Speaker 1 I wanted to sit down with each of them to reflect on the experience of putting their story out there. What was your main purpose for doing this?

Speaker 12 Just to help people and hopefully reach some man out there that felt like I did and felt alone and let him know he's not. And even

Speaker 12 actually at the start, I mean,

Speaker 12 I was definitely a little nervous to talk about it. Yeah.
I think it'll always be hard to talk about somewhat, but it also feels relieving, like you're breaking out of chains.

Speaker 1 Even Tyler's friends are seeing him differently in a good way.

Speaker 12 You know, the stigma around boys and how nothing's serious. Like, I have this one friend who, when we're hanging out, he's always saying something stupid, doing something stupid.

Speaker 2 Goofball.

Speaker 12 Yeah, that. There we go.
Goofball. He was like, you know, we joke around with each other.
But listening to that was crazy because I didn't understand, like,

Speaker 12 really how it was.

Speaker 12 So, like, I've had a few friends come to me and just really open up to me about, like,

Speaker 12 how appreciative they were that I did that.

Speaker 1 Tyler is grateful for the betrayal community.

Speaker 12 Thank you for listening. Thank everyone for listening.
If they made it this far. Because I hope if they made it this far, that means they liked it.

Speaker 12 And I'm glad they stuck to the end because I've even had some relatives tell me it was kind of hard to listen to and they had to stop it.

Speaker 12 So I appreciate the people that wanted to hear my story out and just listen.

Speaker 12 No one can ever find out my secret because it's not a secret.

Speaker 1 Stacey, when we first started and when you were thinking about why you would want to do this project, what were the reasons? Like, why did you want to do this?

Speaker 8 You know, it was really hard for me to find people to relate to. So I felt very much alone.
And when I heard the first two seasons, it made me feel not so alone.

Speaker 8 And I wanted to be that for someone else.

Speaker 8 I also

Speaker 8 wanted Tyler to heal through this too. I knew that there would be a lot of healing in talking about this for our family.
And there absolutely has been.

Speaker 8 I've seen such a huge change in our interaction with each other and how we've handled things.

Speaker 8 And I wanted that for someone else.

Speaker 1 I have watched you

Speaker 1 and your family since we started working together. And I

Speaker 1 definitely acknowledge this

Speaker 1 need and want from you to feel seen.

Speaker 1 And I think so much of your connection to Justin is this was a person that felt like he saw you. You felt very seen in that relationship.

Speaker 1 And the grieving of not having that has been really difficult for you.

Speaker 1 But the one thing that I just want you to have is: I want you to be able to see yourself as an incredible person the way that I see you. I left Boston being like, who wants a ready-made family? I do.

Speaker 1 Like, I want to be part of Stacey's family.

Speaker 1 So, we reached out to people who wrote in,

Speaker 1 and they have some messages for us. Okay.

Speaker 1 I haven't heard these so both of us are listening to this for the first time.

Speaker 13 My name is Anna.

Speaker 13 I was driving and just kind of going through the episodes and my fiancé happened to be in the car with me and

Speaker 13 Tyler was talking about how he ended up coming forward and how he really, really didn't want to do it

Speaker 13 and then he ended up deciding to be that voice and my fiancé he made a comment like you know yeah this this happens a lot more than people think

Speaker 13 later I couldn't get it out of my mind that comment he had made and so we were getting ready for bed and I asked him about it I was like have you ever experienced something like that

Speaker 13 He was really, really quiet.

Speaker 13 And

Speaker 13 he goes, yeah, Yeah, like when I was seven, an older cousin was at the house, and some sexual abuse transpired.

Speaker 13 Sometimes something happens, and it reminds you, and it all comes rushing back. And he said that that was kind of a moment that he had after hearing Tyler tell his story.

Speaker 13 It was extremely, extremely emotional.

Speaker 13 I mean, I feel horrible that this person I love so much had to go through this, but I know he said that talking about it after all this time was like a huge burden off of him.

Speaker 13 It just made me grateful that he ultimately told me about it.

Speaker 13 I'm glad that I know this about him and that it's something that we can now speak about openly. You guys sharing your story truly

Speaker 13 is

Speaker 13 life-changing.

Speaker 13 Something as simple as riding in the car and just listening to it to pass the time. You never know what kind of conversations it can spark.

Speaker 13 I just commend you so much for your strength and I cannot say thank you enough.

Speaker 1 After the break, a male listener shares how Tyler's story has helped him to confront his own past.

Speaker 1 When your alarm goes off in the morning, do you feel energized or are you tempted by the snooze button again and again?

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Speaker 1 Visit clubearlybird.com and use code BETRAIL for 20% off. That's clubearlybird.com.

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Speaker 3 Anibay has designed the only fully machine washable sofa from top to bottom. The stain-resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud-like frame duvet can go straight into your wash.

Speaker 3 Perfect for anyone with kids, pets, or anyone who loves an easy-to-clean, spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style.

Speaker 3 Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Anabay has you covered. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home.

Speaker 3 Sofas start at just $699 and right now, get early access to Black Friday savings, up to 60% off store-wide, with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Shop now at washablesofas.com.

Speaker 4 Add a little...

Speaker 3 to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 5 This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 2 This is Bowen Yang from Los Cultural Resistance with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 5 What if you could boost your Wi-Fi to one of your devices when you need it most? Because Xfinity Wi-Fi can. Like when you need to upload 200 photos of your cat in a Santa hat to post online.

Speaker 2 We've all been there. And what if your Wi-Fi could proactively fix issues before they even happen?

Speaker 5 Xfinity Wi-Fi does that too.

Speaker 2 It's like having a little holiday helper. And what if your Wi-Fi had parental instincts built right in? So your kids are always protected online.

Speaker 5 It's Wi-Fi that's not just smart, it's brilliant. And during the holidays, that's a gift we all could use.
Xfinity, imagine that.

Speaker 1 I'm with Stacey and Tyler for our final episode of Betrayal Season 3, and we're hearing some feedback from listeners. Okay, so here's another one:

Speaker 6 My name is John, and I am from the Houston, Texas area.

Speaker 6 It wasn't until I got married, started having some issues,

Speaker 6 got addicted to pornography and stuff like that. I finally went to talk to a therapist and finally realized as a child that I was assaulted.

Speaker 6 Going back to when Tyler first opened up about what happened

Speaker 6 took me back to when I first had discovered what the root of the problem was.

Speaker 6 It's uncanny how your memory just unlocks.

Speaker 6 You hear stories and you wonder, how can that be true?

Speaker 6 But when you hear it, and then all of a sudden you're reliving it,

Speaker 6 wow, that happened to me. Wow, he said that exact same thing.

Speaker 6 And then my wife and I were sitting there one evening, and my daughter, who was just finished her junior year of high school, comes in crying.

Speaker 6 And that's what she told us: that she had been assaulted by my father.

Speaker 6 I worship that man. You know,

Speaker 6 the rage I had finding out that it happened to her

Speaker 6 the anger came back

Speaker 6 i said i know exactly what you're going through and she said how

Speaker 6 and i told her what happened to me

Speaker 6 tyler spoke to him in court

Speaker 6 talking about how stone-faced he was he decided to speak on the fly without having thing written down

Speaker 6 That's kind of how I felt when

Speaker 6 they sentenced my dad. I was like, I'm not going to to speak because I'm afraid I'm going to jump over the wall and attack him.
I said, no, I need to say something.

Speaker 6 I remember saying, you may have thought you broke her.

Speaker 6 I guarantee you, she's going to come back stronger than she's ever been.

Speaker 6 You've broken me more than you've broken her,

Speaker 6 but I'm not going to let you win.

Speaker 6 I tell Tyler I'm proud of him. I know it's not easy to come forward.
It takes a lot of courage to do that. And Stacey, from a parent's perspective, it's not your fault.

Speaker 6 You know, we can blame ourselves and ask ourselves, what did we do wrong? Where did we go wrong? How could we not have known?

Speaker 6 All we can do is love each other, help each other, be there for each other. As hard as it is to listen to,

Speaker 6 It helps those of us who've been through it find more ways to cope and lets us know that we're not the only ones out there.

Speaker 6 So thank y'all.

Speaker 12 Almost brought some tears of joy out or something.

Speaker 12 It's nice to hear more men talking too, especially.

Speaker 8 Tyler has always just wanted to be that for somebody. And I feel like this gives him that feeling of having a purpose and reaching people.

Speaker 8 That's been one of the most amazing things I think I've seen through this is

Speaker 8 see him realize that what happened to him was not his fault and that it does not define him or his success or his purpose.

Speaker 8 And I think it's just amazing to see that a man reached out.

Speaker 1 And there was one more.

Speaker 11 My name is Kristen and I am from Chattanooga, Tennessee.

Speaker 11 I basically almost experienced the same thing that Stacey did. My ex-husband committed a crime as well to my daughter.
I was two months pregnant when I found out.

Speaker 11 I really struggled with feeling like I should have known and how could I not know, but Stacy really talked about how she had no idea and there was no signs for her as well.

Speaker 11 And she talked about how well her husband was as a father.

Speaker 11 That is something I have often said, how I feel ashamed or guilty that I miss what was so great about our relationship. And I hate that I feel that way.

Speaker 11 I don't want to think about it or miss him at all, but it made me feel a whole lot better that she feels the same way and she understands.

Speaker 11 It definitely gave me some relief that I'm not. bad for feeling that way.

Speaker 11 The biggest reason I wanted to reach out because I wanted to thank Stacey and Tyler for being brave enough to talk about their story.

Speaker 11 I feel like I've been hiding my story and I haven't wanted to talk to anybody about it because I feel so ashamed. But after hearing their story, I feel a whole lot better.

Speaker 11 Like I actually can talk about it, especially at night. It's hard to go to sleep and be in my thoughts.
But my routine now was to constantly just turn on the podcast and listen to them.

Speaker 11 And it was, it felt like a form of therapy, like I could talk to somebody else and not feel alone. So I'm, I'm very thankful for them sharing their story.
It has definitely helped me a lot.

Speaker 8 You can beat yourself up about that kind of stuff.

Speaker 8 But I choose to focus on the people out there who are going to hear our voices and who are going to be set free from things because of Tyler.

Speaker 8 and the braveness of sharing your story because it's it's not easy to put yourself out there for world.

Speaker 8 It feels absolutely amazing to know that there's someone out there who doesn't feel so alone anymore because I know that feeling so well.

Speaker 1 Every time I've worked with, you know, when I've worked with Jen, when I've worked with Ashley, you know, just through getting to know them and their families, I've walked away with different takeaways of what I love and I adore about each individual person.

Speaker 1 And I just see really great women in really unfortunate circumstances. And for you, I just want you to give yourself some grace.
And I want you to love yourself because you are so lovable.

Speaker 6 Thank you.

Speaker 1 I'm proud of all the work you're doing.

Speaker 2 It means a lot.

Speaker 1 If you're a man who has experienced sexual abuse or assault, or you know someone who is seeking support, go to onein6.org. That's the number one

Speaker 1 six.org. Find a path to a happier, healthier future.
If you would like to reach out to the betrayal team, email us at betrayalpod at gmail.com. That's betrayalpod at gmail.com.

Speaker 1 Also, please be sure to follow us at glasspodcasts on Instagram for all betrayal content, news, and updates. We're grateful for your support.

Speaker 1 One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal.
Five-star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners.

Speaker 1 Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison.

Speaker 1 Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Carrie Hartman.
Also produced by Ben Fetterman and Trey Morgan. Associate producers are Kristen Melchiori and Caitlin Golden.

Speaker 1 Our iHeart team is Allie Perry and Jessica Kreinchek. Voice acting by Trey Morgan and Estee Miller.
Special thanks to Stacey Rutherford, Tyler, and the rest of Stacey and Tyler's friends and family.

Speaker 1 Audio editing and mixing by Matt Zalvecchio. Editing support from Nico Aruka.
Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by Mybe Music.

Speaker 1 And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 1 This is an iHeart Podcast.