Outsmarting the Fuckboy

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What is up, Daddy Gang?

It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Hello, Daddy Gang.
Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I am aware that this week is the presidential election.
and by the time that this episode comes out, we may all know who the next president of the United States is. But I am recording this episode before all of that.
So the Alex you're looking at right now has no fucking idea what the election results are or who the current president may be. So don't worry,

no politics will be discussed on Caller Daddy today. Today is going to be one of those days

where it's just a little TLC time, you know, just me and you, baby. So let's hang out.
Let's tell

some stories. And I'm going to give you guys some life updates if that's okay with you.
Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. Okay, so I went on a trip with all of my girlfriends to Vermont where my best friend was getting married and we were all going to figure out like, well, where do we want to stay? And, oh, this place is too far away.
And if you stay there, I won't really get ready with you. And then we decided on an Airbnb and it was the best decision of the weekend because we got this house.
All of us stayed there. Matt came, my friends came, my friend brought her boyfriend and we all were able to feel like we were almost back in college where we were all in one space.
We all got to make our coffee together. We got to eat breakfast together.
We got to go on walks together. We got to have a late night conversations after we went to the rehearsal dinner and the weddings.
And it was just the best time because I feel like if you don't stay in an Airbnb, you're not going to be as close. You're not going to have those late night conversations.
And we as girls, you know how much goes in to those late night conversations. We also had a pool table, which was so fun.
The guys ended up playing while the girls were having wine in the living room in front of the fire, just talking about all the things about life and dating and relationships. You know, a wedding makes you emotional.
I told Matt in 2025, my goal is to stay in more Airbnbs wherever we go. If we're exploring a new city, culture, learning a new language, traveling, wherever it be, Airbnb is where it's at.
So you can really be fully, fully invested in your time and experience all the things that come with that environment. Airbnb is the best way to make your trip one to remember because you get to explore not only the new city, but a new space in the city.
Staying like a local helps you feel immersed wherever you are, as opposed to feeling like a tourist. You can grab groceries at a local market, explore the neighborhood bars and restaurants, Daddy Gang.
And if you wanna go somewhere, but you don't really know where, guest favorites might inspire you and may create a new tradition for you. So Daddy Gang, as you book your 2025 travel, my number one tip is to check out Airbnb first to find the perfect place to stay because your accommodation can really make or break the trip.
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There are so many reasons I love Airbnb. Stay tuned to hear more about my upcoming trips this year.
I am so excited for this spring. I have a lot of travel coming up, some for vacation, some for work, and I am preparing by trying my hardest to get ahead of planning outfits, of trying to get ahead, of making sure I have enough of my makeup products and all the things that I usually need and I'm not racing at the last minute.
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Last week was obviously Halloween. And while I was mindlessly scrolling in bed on TikTok, I came across a video that made me giggle.
It was this girl who was like, shout out to all the college freshmen who are having their Canon Halloween event this year. I paused on it and I screenshotted it because first of all, if you're not up to date on TikTok lingo, a Canon event is basically a life experience that you'll never forget that it either altered your life trajectory or it altered your brain chemistry.
And it just really shaped who you are to the core. That is a canon event.
Is it dramatic? Yes, but I personally fucking love it. So it got me reminiscing though, trying to think like, what was my Halloween canon event? What was my freshman year of college specifically? What was that canon event? Here's the thing.
When you're a freshman in college and Halloween rolls around, that's the point in the year, in my opinion, where you're kind of starting to figure things out a little bit, right? Like you're beginning to have a friend group established. You kind of know where the parties are and where they'll be happening.
You essentially start to feel like hot shit, right? And since you're feeling yourself so much, the obvious next step is that you dress up as slutty as humanly possible for Halloween, okay? Because you're not cool enough yet to like go the weird embarrassing route. Like you're still trying to make a name for yourself on this campus and you're a freshman.
So you're like, I want people to like fucking remember me and think I'm hot. So my freshman year, I was none other than a slutty schoolgirl.
So fucking original. I had the pigtails, the glasses, the micro little skirt with the thigh highs, the whole thing.
Okay. So I remember I was all dressed up.
It was Halloween weekend and my friends and I were hitting the frats of Boston on Alston street, ready to find ourselves some men at BU. And I remember shortly into the night, I found myself talking to one of the

Boston U hockey boys that I had my eye on for the first semester. Okay.
And so I'm laying down my moves. I'm popping out the tits.
And eventually I worked it enough that we headed back to his dorm to hook up. And this is where, this is really where the Canada event begins.
Okay, sit back, relax, and get your fucking popcorn. I was a water bottle of vodka deep at this point, if you know, you know.
And I'm in the elevator up to the dorm. And I decide in my drunken state that dressing up as a schoolgirl was only the beginning, right?

So we got into his room and we started to aggressively make out. And when the moment felt right, I knew it was time for me to fully embody my costume.
and I flipped a switch and I began to role play as a school girl as if my life depended on it naturally you know you may be wondering like oh damn like was role play like a thing that you had been doing before Alex were you like role playing it up in fucking high school absolutely not this is probably the first time I was fucking role? I had zero experience with it. But in that moment, I felt like a goddamn veteran.
I got into character and I was the schoolgirl and this guy was my teacher. I started slow.
I started slow. I started off easy, throwing a little softball.
I said something like, do I get extra credit if I make you come? Just like some light porno classics, you know, like just like really scratching the surface. Okay.
And as we kept going, I kept ramping up and I was so into my character that I wasn't picking up on the cues that this guy, he wasn't necessarily, he wasn't vibing with my performance. Okay.
It still hurts to say to this day. And so after I was hitting him with line after line, like given him honestly, like grade A type shit, his energy had clearly shifted.
and he kind of looked at me and was like just like enough talking like just suck my fucking dick okay and again intoxicated like you don't take the social cues like you would if you weren't fucking drunk daddy gang so I'm in my own world and I was fully a schoolgirl at this point there was no turning back and I was not ready to give up yet because I'm still like in a fantasy land. So I'm like, okay, if he doesn't want me to talk, I just got to act this shit out.
So I remember I jumped off this man's bed. I stumbled over to his desk and I'm on the hunt for a ruler.
And unfortunately, newsflash, unfortunately guys in their twenties apparently don't keep rulers around. So I found the next best option, a thick spiral notebook, a five star thick boy.
Okay. And I brought the notebook over to this man and I handed it to him turning around so he could spank me with it.
I was so proud of myself. Like I'm thinking I'm rocking this guy's world in the moment.
I'm like, Oh my God, I'm fucked up. And I can think of this genius shit.
I'm literally bent over ready for Papa to give it a swing. And then I'm just kind of like, air is like bristling my butthole.
And I'm like, he didn't spank me. Okay.
He didn't spank me. He'd even pick up the fucking book.
Okay. And after a minute, I looked back at him kind of like, what the fuck is he doing? I turn around.
This man up getting out of bed putting his fucking pants on and I watched in absolute horror as he proceeded to button his pants put his shirt on he handed me my schoolgirl skirt and he said the most dreaded words a girl can hear he said I'm gonna go back to the party like no my ego in that moment to be like you're my skirt was off I'm ready for the big boop boop and he won't even fucking touch me in moment, I realized I was not the schoolgirl of his dreams. And I had in fact made a massive fool of myself.
And I think I remember like waking up that morning so fucking mortified about what he probably told his friends and was like talking about with them that morning. But the glorious part of college, I will say, is that you are never, ever, ever, ever alone in ruining your life, especially on Halloween.
Something about costumes clearly makes all of us girls act fucking insane. And I remember I'm tucked in bed in my single fucking trunk in my little dorm room.
And I'm on the verge of just flinging myself out the window and ending it all because I'm like, it's the hockey guys. They're going to talk.
I was supposed to be the hot new freshman.

And I remember the next morning, my first friend barges through the door and she has cat makeup

smeared down her face onto her tits. She has a little bandeau on and she is wearing long, long,

long boy shorts. She has size 16 shoes on sneakers, like whale fucking boots.
And she comes in announcing that she had fucked the captain of the crew team, hence the size 16 fucking shoe. And she says, and when I say fucked, I say that loosely because I attempted to ride said captain of crew team with a little soft wiener.
Okay. And then the rest of that morning, all of my friends trickled in my fucking slutty ass bumblebee of a friend tried to fuck the wrestler.
She got tag teamed by two men that night. It literally just, no, my friends came one and one.
And if anything, I'm not going to lie. My story was like low key, not the worst.
And I just remember we talked about it and we debriefed, we debriefed so hard. I will never forget all of us that morning, just really hyping each other up.
Cause what the fuck else can you do? And saying, it's not that bad. Like he probably won't remember.
Truly the reason we were doing this, all of that was so that we could get the courage to walk into the dining hall with our heads held high and potentially come face to face with our demons. Like if saw that man in the dining hall this is quick note just for daddy gang if you ever have an awkward moment with a hookup or someone or anything in your life the rule that I live by is it isn't awkward and you can completely morph that person's memory and perception if you are so fucking more normal the next day that they're like oh oh, wait, I forgot she's like hot and cold.
And like, wait, like she's so much more cool than I thought she'd be about that. Like, trust me when I say I wanted to literally exit and run and transfer.
But I saw that kid the next morning in the dining hall and I walked right up to him and it pained me to do so. And I was like, last night was weird, fun.
What are you guys doing tonight? And my, I hope, well, I know my, my casualness about the absolute demolishment that I did to my personal career and my ego and my reputation kind of went to the wayside because he saw the tits. I was looking good.
And he said like, oh out tonight and I ended up dating the kids so you know what it's never as bad as it seems but that moment

it really put me it put me into the ground it let me know like you're not shit Alex and don't for a

fucking second thing that you can just swing the shit left and right without consequences

um so that was my freshman year honestly not as bad as it could have been

I'm not going to die. my freshman year.
Honestly, not dropped messages from an unknown sender. From the producers of Megan and producers of A Quiet Place, audiences will be on the edge of their seats.
Don't miss Drop Hitting Theaters on April 11th. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by T-Mobile.
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Oh my God. Okay.
Story time. This was a different type of canon event.
This is where I would say I was less humbled. Um, and I really started this year to master finessing fuck boys.
Let me set the scene. So my junior year, I was talking to this professional athlete who lived in New York City.
I knew that he would have the best Halloween plans. And so I was determined to get myself invited and to spend the weekend with him.
Now, the problem was this guy wasn't really the type to make plans ahead of time with me. You know, it was more of like a spur of the moment type of relationship.
And I had to kind of be ready and on call at any given moment. We weren't dating.
So yes, he was a fuck boy. And yes, I was at his like beck and call.
Okay, but don't fucking judge me. So I was so fucking desperate that I ended up leaving Boston and all of my friends on Halloween weekend to return home to good old Newtown, Pennsylvania.
Now, why did I do that? Let me explain my logic here. I needed to go home so that when I got the last minute text asking me to join in on his Halloween plans, I would be only one state away ready to plot my ass on New Jersey transit and have a straight shot into New York City.
Okay. So I lied and I told him that I was going to be in the city and I was going to be out with some of my friends.
Little did he know I was literally sitting in my fucking childhood home with my parents, watching them prepare for all of the young, young sprout kids to come and trick or treat in our cul-de-sac. OK, but he thought I was going to be in New York.
OK. And so my costume this year was very strategic.
I knew it was guaranteed to make this man fall in love with me. He was obsessed with Game of Thrones and I was going to dress as Khaleesi.
At that point in college, I had platinum blonde hair that was so fake. It was nearing white, honestly.
Now I look back and I'm like, that was ill. But at the time it was perfect for the costume.
So I didn't even need to wear a wig. Okay.
It was perfect. And I would buy no mean if I'm being truthful with myself.
Like I wouldn't really consider myself a Halloween girly, but I put fucking effort into this costume. Hours of blood, sweat, and tears.
I was so committed. So it's Friday night of Halloween weekend.
I am sitting at home in Pennsylvania with Lori and Brian. It's early in the afternoon.
I would say it's about like two or three o'clock and I start texting him. It starts a small talk, but my goal is to have him invite me to his Halloween plans in New York City.
Okay. Now the problem is, because I really wanna break this down in the desperation, I needed a strong, firm invite from him because I had to get on a train, pay for a train ticket.
That train ride was an hour and a half to New York City. And when I got there, my broke ass could not afford for him to cancel the plans because I had nowhere to stay.
Like I couldn't afford a New York city hotel room. Right.
So if I was going into the city, I had to be able to rely on this man. Now, why wasn't I just truthful? Why didn't I just tell him that I was in Pennsylvania and I would come into the city if he wanted me to, and if he wanted to invite me to his plans because it gave him too much fucking power.
Okay. This is when I was in my toxic days.
This was in my, I couldn't be truthful with a man phase. Okay.
Because anybody who has ever hooked up with a fuck boy knows the chiller, the plans, the better. And you know what I'm talking about.
If he knew that my mom was putting me in her fucking minivan and driving me to the train station in Trenton, New Jersey, just to come see him way too much effort game over. Like he would have freaked out.
He's like, that is way too committal. That's way too serious.
Like your mom knows about me. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Like it needed to seem like I was already out and about. So chill.
I wasn't even in the city just for him. But like if he invited me, like sure, I'll pop by.
I'm cool like that. Meanwhile, like when you're on a budget, nothing is fucking chill.
Okay. Nothing is fucking cool about this.
So I hope I'm painting enough of a picture of like the intricate and delicate dance I was having to do with this fuck boy. So I'm pacing in my childhood room.
My mom's on my bed because she's like fully clued into the story. And she's like, send the text.
Send the text. Like we got to know, like, are we getting you to the train station or not? Like send the text.
And I'm like looking at my Hannah Montana poster and my high school musical poster and my Jonas Brother poster. And I'm like, I need to get the fuck out of here.
I got to send the text. So I shoot it off and I ask him, what are your plans for tonight? So chill.
I ended up throwing my fucking phone across the room. I tell my mom, like, you're going to need to fucking check it.
Like, and of course I had like his little, um, like a ringtone. If he texted me, like I knew his exact ringtone and I'm waiting for the ringtone.
And my mom's like, it's going to be fine. You're so gorgeous, sweetie.
Your moms are so annoying like that. Like, shut up mom.
Okay. I'm one of many.
I know my fucking place, bitch. She's like, okay, sweetie, do you think you should be talking to this man? I'm like, yes, bitch.
You're driving me if he fucking says come. She's like, okay, mental illness.
So the dreaded hour goes by and he finally answers. And you know, it's good when like you text the fuck boy and like, you've been like getting after it.
Like he, it's like, Ooh, one minute after another. And then you ask him what his fucking plans are and it's ghost city.
You're like oh that's like that's a direct attack you're like bitch we were I just saw like you were fucking typing and now you're not typing like what the fuck so finally he answers and he says I don't know yet what are your plans I wanted to smash my phone into my fucking forehead okay again like I had no fucking plans but I plans, but I'm going along with the lie. So I tried to play it cool.
So I was like, oh, like me and my friends are probably just going to like bop around to some bars. Like, but let me know if you want to meet up.
And poor, my mom is just like, why don't you just be direct? I'm like, mom, if you give me advice one more fucking time, I'm going to fuck boy. I'm going to fucking lose my shit.
She's like, okay, sweetie. OK, let's go make you some hot cocoa.
Now, here's the thing. I was actively refreshing New Jersey transit times and losing more and more hope.
And when I say actively, my dad's like sitting there with me, like working the system like this is a family operation, OK? But this guy's communication at this point was so noncommittal that I knew if I got on a train and just kind of went for it at that point, I would have been standing alone in New York City with nowhere to stay. Dressed as Khaleesi, you know what I mean? Like none of my friends were in New York City at this point.
So keep in mind. OK, so when it hit 9 p.m., I made the executive decision.
To shift gears and shift my plan for the night. I saw on his friend's social media that they were out and I saw only the back like a little strand of his hair the back of his head a strand of his hair but I knew it was him and it ignited something in me.
I knew I knew in that moment I needed to strategize so I called my parents parents into the living room for a family meeting. And I said, if you guys have ever loved me, I need you both to buck up and pull this next move off with me, OK? Our family name is fucking on this shit, OK? They're like, we have literally lost.
We have lost our daughter, OK. But immediately they're in.
My parents were like

so used to my antics at this point and they're just like happy I'm fucking home and I'm including them in any of this. So I told them that, here we go.
I told my parents that we had to transform our garage into something that would pass for a sick Halloween warehouse party. because I needed this man's attention and I needed to post on social media in my Khaleesi costume ASAP but it needed to like look somewhat adjacent to something you could see it like a rustic New York City like grunge speakeasy okay so we headed into the garage and we started to really like clear the shit out and like throw it on the driveway, right? My childhood bike kicked to the fucking curb.
The box of Christmas decorations. Get the fuck out of my way.
My dad's lawnmower, gone. I was like, mom, what is this box? She's like, those are your baby photos.
How cute? Should we go through it? I'm like, mom, burn it to the fucking ground, okay? We need to get this operation up and running. I was a woman on a mission.
My poor parents. Once we cleared out a corner of the garage, I had my mom working the camera.
My dad was standing behind her manning the lighting. Okay.
We needed it to look spur of the moment, like even a little blurry could do while also hitting the perfect angles. Okay.
So by the grace of God, my parents got the shot and I immediately went inside and did the only thing I knew I could do to make the shit even better photoshop the shit out of this photo on picmonkey.com tits bigger ass bigger lips bigger waist smaller I looked fucking amazing honestly I was I looked I looked a plus I was playing right into his fantasy. Now I knew I couldn't just throw up any basic Halloween post, right? This man isn't going to call me if he sees a little fucking Bo Peep on his feed.
I needed this costume to awaken something in him and alter his brain chemistry. Was I doing too much? Yeah, to each his own.
Okay. I wanted, I wanted to put in the work.
I'm a creative person. Okay.
So there I was like, picture this. I'm not fucking kidding you guys.
Cause once you get your family involved in shit, they want to see it through. Right.
So I'm like on my fucking phone. It's like the beginning days of Instagram.
My dad's on my right shoulder. My mom's on my left.
My mom's on the phone with my brother. My dad's on the phone with my sister.
It's like the whole family operation. My brother's like, you're a fucking idiot.
My sister's like, gal, this is so fun. Like, fuck them.
Like everyone has to say. I'm like, shh.
Post. My mom's like, oh my God, did we get the right lighting? Should we do another one? I'm like, mom, shut the fuck up.
And like clockwork, less than 10 minutes later, I got a text.

I got a text.

And it said something along the lines of, holy shit, babe, your costume, you look fucking insane. Where are you? I need to see you.
Jackpot. but something inside me shifted and I realized so much of that night and my relationship with that person was based off of who had the power and a light bulb went off in that moment when I realized holy shit this new plan would be even more effective than if I went into the city.
I had a chance to make this man jealous. Based off of this picture alone, okay, he was under the assumption that I was somewhere in New York City wearing the costume of his dreams and he wasn't with me,

right? So what did I do? I took the costume off, washed my face, did an everything shower, cuddled up on the couch with my mom and pop, okay? Turned on Halloween Town, said, hasta luego, motherfucker. And an hour after he sent that text, I replied to his text with a simple

kiss. said, hasta luego, motherfucker.
And an hour after he sent that text, I replied to his text with a simple kissy emoji. What did that do? What did that effect do? What was his canon event? Okay.
It made this man spiral. Think about it.
Daddy gang, if you're fucking with a fuck boy, he had just asked me where I was, AKA I got what what I wanted he wanted to see me and I was ignoring his request he just asked me a question and I just hit him with a fucking emoji so what do you think happened next he texted me again babe where are you I want to see you in that outfit I dozed off at around 10 30 sharp okay I was fucking exhausted It was a big day of work you know what I mean curled up in my childhood bed when I tell you daddy gang I woke up to 22 text messages and about eight calls from this man when I woke up it was the best fucking gift I had ever received hands down okay the texts are like Alex where are you I need you like it's need you. Like, it's all like sweet.
Like come to me, baby. And then all of a sudden it's like, wow.
So you're with another guy. Cool.
I wanted to see you tonight. Guess not.
Damn. Like just the spiral.
It's the fucking best. When you are in that position and you wake up to that shit, you're like, I can breathe easy.
Like, damn, it feels good to be on top.

And when it felt like the appropriate time that morning,

I picked up my phone feeling absolutely victorious.

And I said something along the lines of,

why do I have like all these text messages memorized?

You guys, it was ill, okay?

But when you spend that much time on a text message

and you're going back and forth with your friends or your mom or your grandma, like you remember that shit. Okay.
And I wrote, ha ha, whoa, chill, dot, dot, dot. How was your night? Now that may have taken me about an hour to concoct, but it was perfect.
Okay. He texted me back immediately and he said, come over, let's spend the day together and go to this party I got invited to tonight.
I mean, men are so fucking stupid and predictable. It's like annoying, but it really, what it is also women, if you are in your toxic phase still, like that advice to you is just like, you just have to like have your friend lock your phone away, have them literally physically remove it from your body and hide it because it's going to do so much better than good.
When you just ghost, when you're just like, oh, I'm gone, girl. It works magic.
So what did I do? My dad drove me to New Jersey Transit. I got on that train.
I rolled up to his place, purposely looking like a little disheveled. He was insecure as ever, asking me, why didn't you answer me last night? Like, were you with another guy? And I was so coy.
I was like, stop, like, we're not even exclusive. Like chill.
Like you calm down. Like we're going to have fun tonight.
Just playing it so casual. We went out together that night and later he floated the idea of us being exclusive.
The war was over ladies. I had fucking done it.
I got more out of that Khaleesi costume that I could have ever dreamt of. And a canon event was secured for sure, because that, I fear, was the moment, like one of the moments I really truly saw, like the power of finessing a fuckboy in a way that like, you can't help but a little off on it right because when you've been done dirty by them and you every girl has had that where you're sitting up and you're waiting for their text message and you're like kind of just completely on their terms when you flip the switch and the roles are reversed you're like this is intoxicating and this is and then I went on to date him and it was like the most toxic relationship, but like, it's a classic, like, like exactly how you got them is how you're

going to lose them. It's a classic and it's a tale's oldest time.
Anyways, those are my two

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Talk to qualified candidates tomorrow. This year, I did not participate in Halloween at all.
Matt and I actually, this is more wholesome.

Now we're going to transition to a more wholesome side of the episode. Matt and I actually flew to Chicago this past weekend to spend it with Lauren, who you all know.
She's one of my childhood best friends. She's been on the show.
And it was Lauren's 30th birthday. And she is going through an unexpected life change right now and is moving into a new apartment by herself, which is definitely overwhelming.
So Matt and I knew we weren't going to let her just like do this all alone. And we wanted to physically be there with her to support her in person.
And so Matt and I told her we were going to come to Chicago, but we had also cooked up a little surprise of our own. We had told Lauren that we were going to come in town and like hang out and go to dinners and like celebrate her birthday.
But little did she know we were planning to surprise her by furnishing her entire apartment. Our girl didn't have a single piece of furniture to her name in that place yet and Matt and I were like she needs this and we got her and so we got to Chicago Friday night we met up with Lauren and Kristen my other childhood best friend she also lives in Chicago imagine the FOMO I have that my two best friends live in the same city and I'm just like over here in Los Angeles the amount of dinners where I've been like but what if you guys you guys just like moved? And they're like, no, I'm like, okay.
But like, what if you just, and they're like, just come visit us more. I'm like, okay, fair.
So we went to dinner that first night and it was 10 out of 10 amazing. It was just like the three of us girls in with Matt.
Um, if you're ever in Chicago also just highly recommend. Um, we went to this restaurant called Bavettes.
It's like every time I'm with Lauren and Kristen, we're always looking for like dark vibes, good energy, good music, sceny, but not too sceny, and just like a good hang. And I remember as we were singing happy birthday to Lauren, she's blowing out her candles.
And Kristen is like, is that Will Ferrell? And we're all like, what? And Matt's like, yeah, that's definitely Will Ferrell. I'm like, that's Will Ferrell.
And we all realized that the entire night turns out Will Ferrell and his entire family were just dining next to us all night. It was a glorious experience and it made her birthday even better.
The other side of the night after dinner was, I forgot to mention, Matt's one stipulation of the weekend was that he was happy to have a girls weekend with us. Okay.
But we had to watch the Dodgers because they were playing the Yankees in the world series. And Matt is a huge Dodger fan.
Okay. So after dinner, we all went to a bar and we watched the game and it was quite entertaining, honestly.
Like I've had enough baseball in my life for a lifetime, but I was like you know what it's fun it's the fucking world series and it ended up ending on like a grand slam walk off the night that we were watching and Matt was so fucking amped up I don't know if anyone has this but like it was such a fun game I get it Matt we get back to the hotel room he's pacing he's calling everyone he knew in LA recapping the game he calls his dad he calls his brother he calls his cousin like, Matt, sit down. He's like, I can't.
This is the fucking best thing ever. So that was fun that he got a little him time.
But the big event, Saturday morning, Saturday morning was our big surprise. So we had Lauren and Kristen come over to our hotel for breakfast and we sat Lauren down and we told her, sweetie, get ready.
Today is entirely for you. We hired a driver for the day.
We are going to go to every possible store and we are going to fully design and furnish your apartment this weekend on us. Get in and get ready.
And it was just like she was in complete shock and it was so cute I it was just I will say like it is so surreal being able to do stuff like that for my friends and I don't know it was like a really fun and like emotional moment and we like hugged and cried and it was like a whole thing all fucking weekend. We were all just like crying and emotional and it was beautiful.
But okay. So first stop of Saturday, we go to her apartment.
We see it beautiful. We whip out the measuring tape.
Classic. Okay.
We made a list of every single possible thing she needed. We're taking pictures of the walls.
I'll like post some of these pictures because it's funny because Matt's like directing traffic. And we basically started to formulate our design plan is it is so fun to design a new space if you're moving into a new space like where you're going to organize things but it's also very daunting because I think understandably some stuff is not in stock and it's everything's coming in like piecemealed moments and it's just like overwhelming if you don't have a vision um we asked Lauren like what's your aesthetic like what do you want this new chapter of your life to be? And she's like, oh, like, I want it to be like classic, but like have tinges of like moodiness and like kind of like weirdness and like maybe like library-esque.
We're like, okay, okay. Matt's like, great, challenge accepted, love.
So after we got all the dimensions and we're taking pages of notes, were off to fuck up the furniture stores of Chicago I will say my husband really comes live in a furniture store and it is it is quite attractive because he is so like I wouldn't say aggressive he's just if we're like is this cute he's like no we're like is that he's like absolutely yes that goes with that like when I tell you we were like three little ducklings following Matt's lead around all these stores he was a man on a mission also maybe he was on a mission because like he didn't want to miss the fucking Dodgers 7 p.m game that started that night he's like we're getting in and out we're cutting this shit at six o'clock I need a cocktail but nonetheless we hit all the places we went to Crate and Barrel we went to West Elm CB2 Pottery Barn Rejuvenation Vintage Stores and I kid you not multiple stores asked like oh what interior design firm do you guys work with because we can get you guys like a discount code for that and we're like no no we don't we're not we're not it's just like we looked like a crew on a mission you guys work with? Cause we can get you guys like a discount code for that. And we're like, no, no, no, we don't, we're not, we're not.
It's just like, we looked like a crew on a mission. You guys like our measuring tapes.
Like at one point, I'm pretty sure Lauren had the measuring tape, like holstered on her belt buckle. We had our dimensions printed out.
Matt is walking around like he's fucking Amber interiors in this bitch. Like he cannot be stopped.
I will say people are probably like why reminder why is Matt so good at this um Matt produces movies right so like he's walking around and he treats everything in life whether we're like throwing an event or he's doing something this like Matt is going to treat anything like he is producing a movie he knows budget he knows color palette he knows how it needs to visually look he knows where peopleate, where people will stand, the lighting, the whole thing. So it was very fun to like see him do his thing.
And it was honestly like so relaxing. A couple of times we're walking around with our coffees.
We got like chai lattes. Matt's just like, you like this? Lauren's like, uh-huh.
So we went nonstop, you guys, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.
I am so excited for everything to get delivered so that Lauren can begin to create this new chapter of her life for herself. And Matt and I are so invested now.
If anything, Matt more than me, he's literally like texting our group chat to Lauren being like updates, photos, updates, updates. Or he'll be like, it's delivery day.
And I'm like, how do you know that? She is the tracking information. information he's like I know exactly when they said it's getting delivered I'm waiting for the photos we're very invested every time a new piece of furniture arrives she will send us a picture and we'll be like can you move the chair a little bit more onto the rug and go a little like two inches to the left like it is fun and we're all just like I don't know it's fun to be a part of it with her and I think again like scary daunting moments in your life when you have the right people around you I think you it literally is just about like the vibe and and who you're surrounding yourself with can immediately change the way that you view something that you're going through so I'm just so happy because it felt so amazing to be there for my friend in a moment where she needed me because she has certainly been there for me when roles have been reversed I I've only told this story on tour so maybe I need to tell it on the podcast one day um I'll spare you like all the details but I will never forget when I started over in a New York apartment uh back in New York City um I'd gone through a breakup and it was sudden and I was basically like on the street and didn't have a place to stay and I found this place through Facebook marketplace whatever the fuck and it was like a two-month rental and I remember it was like the dead of winter in New York and all that was in the room was like a mattress on the floor and Lauren came over and we went across the street and like got like a deli sandwich and chips and sour patch and we sat on the floor and she held me while I cried and we slept on the mattress with no sheets that night and it was one of the darkest points in my life and the one thing that allowed me to keep going and not feel utterly alone was Lauren being there for me so it was just so special that I was able to almost like do it like give it back to her also because that's the weird shit about friendship you're like oh I didn't think that Lauren was going to be moving into a new place and now she is and I'm here for her I also will say it is so special that Lauren and Matt are close now um there is truly no better feeling than when your best friend and partner also have a friendship of their own.
And I think it's no secret that when you get older, you don't have as much time for friendship as you did when you were in high school or college, right? Like you're not running into each other at class. You don't live together anymore.
Probably you're not meeting up in the dining hall every day. Now you're adulting and you have a career and a life and taxes and a mortgage or rent and you're all over the place.
And like you may not even live in the same city. But the point is, I think when you get older, you have to make so much more of a concerted effort to see your friends and stay connected with them.
I think another point to adult friendship is you really start to learn who is going to show up for you and be there for you in those hard moments. Like my friends and I were talking about it this past weekend, but like as you get older, understandably the stakes get so much higher I'm not really looking for a drinking buddy I'm looking for someone who I can call and ask for their advice so when your priorities in friendship shift it kind of just naturally weeds some people out because it's like do I respect your opinion are you someone who I want to go to for advice and I also think one of the most common things that is kind of this like unsaid dynamic in adult relationships is the rarity that you're ever fully on the same page like Lauren Lauren and I right now, we both just turned 30.

Lauren is recently single and I'm married.

And on paper, our lives couldn't look further from aligned.

But on one hand, it doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter because how I see it and how we see it

is how we are aligned is our values

and how we show up for each other

and the way in which we give each other advice and how we treat each other. Like when I look at it, Lauren and I always laugh, but it's like Lauren and I have been on different pages through most of our friendship, all the way dating back to literally being like almost six years old.
Like I feel like if I'm she's usually down and if I'm down she's usually thriving like we're usually rarely ever on the same page but that's friendship you know what I mean like I feel like those moments though in my opinion when you are on different pages are when it is even more important daddy gang to pour effort and energy and time into your friendship it's easy when everything is aligned but the mark in my opinion again like I know everyone has different fucking definitions but the mark of a good friendship to me is showing up for each other when it isn't necessarily fun when it's hard and it's exhausting and it's stressful and things are tough and when one of you is up and one of you is down and it's like fuck like I wanted to have a good time tonight but she's fucking crying like yeah so then you sit the fuck down and you be there for someone and like I think having to go out of your way in moments to fit into each other's lives is so beautiful because it shows like you want to because there's reciprocity in the dynamic like Lauren meets me where I'm at and I meet her where she's at even if we're on complete different pages so oh my god I didn't expect this to like go deep but um I think friends can be truly just as important to your life as your romantic partner.

And I am so grateful for the friendship that I have with Lauren and Kristen.

And so to close out our little girl's Chicago trip, on Sunday, Kristen had us all over to

her apartment and she cooked us brunch.

She made us all lattes and omelets and she had her record player on.

And we were just recapping the Immaculate Vibes of the weekend.

And we were just starting to talk about like, OK, what's next for all of us?

Like, what are you guys doing and what am I doing?

And so currently, Lauren and Kristen couldn't be more aligned and on the same page. They are both recently single and both just turned 30.
And so it was really fun to see them planning single girl activities together because when you're single, let's be real, you socially have a lot more free time. And I want to say to the daddy gang, anyone that is single right now that is listening and you're kind of struggling because maybe like you have more friends that are in like relationships or they're engaged or maybe some of your friends are married or you're always fucking third wheeling.
Like my bit of advice to you when I was talking to my friends this weekend is like you need to seek out at least one other person who

is single you have to you have to and it doesn't mean that Lauren and I and Kristen and I can't be friends like it's not that like I'm like a loser now that I'm married or like they're fucking losers because now they're single like no no it's just like they now are able to show up for each other in a different way than I can show up for them. Right.
And I will just overall say one, yes, get single friends because you don't want to do that shit alone. And it's so much funner to like have someone next to you and like go through those like escapades together.
But two, now from my perspective, I will say this. As I continue to builds a life with Matt I feel so fortunate that my girlfriends are such a priority and important part of my life and something I realized is that when you find the right person and get your relationship to a healthy place you are capable of being there for your friends even more.
Like I have been in toxic relationships where my entire emotional bandwidth was being absolutely consumed by trying to manage and fix and deal with the relationship that I was in, that it was like nearly impossible to turn to my friend and be like, what's going on with you? Like, yes, go ahead, dump. Like, tell me what's going on with you.
And even if you do, you're like half listening. Cause you're like, I am just trying to keep my fucking head above water.
We've all been there. That is so fucking common.
And I will say daddy gang, when you see those friends who are in those situations and you're like annoyed with them being like, they've been such a a fucking bad friend lately I know that sometimes our natural inclination is to be like she's just been like such fucking shit like she's not I get it when they're MIA but if you're really tuned into your friend you should know it has nothing to fucking do with your relationship and your friendship and it has everything to do with the fact that your friend isn't in a good place and their romantic situation. And it is like eating them alive and it's affecting everyone around them.
It's difficult to see it when you're in it, but it's obvious. Like one person is usually way more capable to show up for the other.
And that's just the natural ebb and flow of a friendship. I'm also pleased, like, don't get me fucking wrong.
I can already see the DMs coming in. Like, I'm not talking about the people who are like, well, she hasn't shown up in seven years, Alex.
Like that doesn't fit like, no, then it's time to boot the fucking bitch. That's not what I'm talking about.
But everyone goes through their hard spells. Um, the point is I think female friendships are some of the most incredible relationships.
And I have been through so much with my friends and even when

my life feels good and Matt and I are good there is truly nothing like when I'm with them and it was so cute oh my god it almost like made me emotional it was so cute because Matt and I were on the plane ride back from Chicago and Matt like grabbed my thigh and turned to me and was like I love seeing you this happy and I was like what and he was like this weekend was so amazing and the bond that you have with your friends is so incredible like you guys are so lucky to have each other and I remember I just looked at him and I was like they're my people like since six years old they've been my people and will always be my people and so the last thing I guess I will say is like reminder daddy gang especially when you become an adult you don't need a giant friend group you don't need all these different people in your life you need one honestly and I'm fortunate to have a few, but you don't need a big friend group to feel fulfilled. If anything, it allows you to invest more time into those few friends that you're really, really close with.
Anyways, Daddy Gang, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode. It's just a little girly chat for us, you know? Sometimes on a Wednesday, we gotta kick back and just talk and hang um so thank you so much for listening I love you guys very much and I will see you fuckers next

Wednesday goodbye We'll be right back. Pick up a pack today.
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