Outsmarting the Fuckboy

Speaker 1 Hi, daddy gang. It is your father.
I am so excited that Call Her Daddy has officially joined the SiriusXM family.

Speaker 1 I cannot wait to talk to new guests and continue to share my crazy personal stories and experiences with you every single week.

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Speaker 1 What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Speaker 1 Hello, Daddy Gang. Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy.
I

Speaker 1 am aware that this week is the presidential election. And by the time that this episode comes out, we may all know who the next president of the United States is.

Speaker 1 But I am recording this episode before all of that. So the Alex you're looking at right now has no fucking idea what the election results are or who the current president may be.

Speaker 1 So don't worry, no politics will be discussed on Caller Daddy today.

Speaker 1 Today is going to be one of those days where it's just a little TLC time, you know, just me and you, baby. So let's hang out.
Let's tell some stories.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to give you guys some life updates, if that's okay with you.

Speaker 1 Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing. You guys know I'm obsessed with Airbnb, okay? It has been a part of my life forever.
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Speaker 1 Last week was obviously Halloween. And while I was mindlessly scrolling in bed on TikTok, I came across a video that made me giggle.

Speaker 1 It was this girl who was like, shout out to all the college freshmen who are having their Canon Halloween event this year.

Speaker 1 I paused on it and I screenshotted it because, first of all, if you're not up to date on TikTok lingo, a Canon event is basically a life experience that you'll never forget.

Speaker 1 That it either altered your life trajectory or it altered your brain chemistry. And it just really shaped who you are to the core.
That is a canon event. Is it dramatic?

Speaker 1 Yes, but I personally fucking love it. So it got me reminiscing though, trying to think like, what was my

Speaker 1 Halloween canon event? What was my freshman year of college specifically? What was that canon event?

Speaker 1 Here's the thing: when you're a freshman in college and Halloween rolls around, that's the point in the year, in my opinion, where you're kind of starting to figure things out a little bit, right?

Speaker 1 Like you're beginning to have a friend group established. You kind of know where the parties are and where they'll be happening.

Speaker 1 You essentially start to feel like hot shit, right?

Speaker 1 And since you're feeling yourself so much, the obvious next step is that you dress up as slutty as humanly possible for Halloween, okay? Because you're not cool enough yet to like

Speaker 1 go the weird embarrassing route. Like you're still trying to make a name for yourself on this campus and you're a freshman.
So you're like, I want people to like fucking remember me and think I'm hot.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 My freshman year, I was none other than a slutty schoolgirl. So fucking original.
I had the pigtails, the glasses, the micro little skirt with the thigh highs, the whole thing, Okay.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I remember I was all dressed up. It was Halloween weekend, and my friends and I were hitting the frats of Boston on Alston Street, ready to find ourselves some men at BU.

Speaker 1 And I remember shortly into the night, I found myself talking to one of the Boston U hockey boys that I had my eye on for the first semester, okay?

Speaker 1 And so I'm laying down my moves, I'm popping out the tits, and eventually I worked it enough that we headed back to his dorm to hook up. And this is where,

Speaker 1 this is really where the Canon event begins, okay? Sit back, relax, and get your fucking popcorn. I was a water bottle of vodka deep at this point, if you know, you know.

Speaker 1 And I'm in the elevator up to the dorm. And I decide in my drunken state that dressing up as a schoolgirl was only the beginning, right?

Speaker 1 So we got into his room and we started to aggressively make out. And when the moment felt right, I knew it was time for me to

Speaker 1 fully embody my costume. And I flipped a switch and I began to role play as a schoolgirl as if my life depended on it, naturally.

Speaker 1 You know, you may be wondering like, oh damn, like was role play like a thing that you had been doing before, Alex? Were you like role-playing it up in fucking high school? Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 This is probably the first time I was fucking role-playing, okay? I had zero experience with it. But in that moment,

Speaker 1 I felt like a goddamn veteran. I got into character, and

Speaker 1 I was the schoolgirl, and this guy

Speaker 1 was my teacher.

Speaker 1 I started slow.

Speaker 1 I started slow. I started off easy, throwing a little softball.
I said something like,

Speaker 1 do I get extra credit if I make you come? Just like some light porno classics, you know, like just like really scratching the surface, okay?

Speaker 1 And as we kept going, I kept ramping up. And I was so into my character that I wasn't picking up on the cues that this guy,

Speaker 1 he wasn't necessarily

Speaker 1 He wasn't vibing with my performance. Okay, it still hurts to say to this day.

Speaker 1 And so after I was hitting him with line after line, like giving him honestly, like grade A type shit, his energy had clearly shifted.

Speaker 1 And he kind of looked at me and was like, shh, shh, just like enough talking, like just suck my fucking dick. Okay.

Speaker 1 And again,

Speaker 1 intoxicated, like you don't take the social cues like you would if you weren't fucking drunk, daddy gang. So I'm in my own world.
And I was fully a schoolgirl at this point. There was no turning back.

Speaker 1 And I was not ready to give up yet because I'm still like in a fantasy land. So I'm like, okay, if he doesn't want me to talk,

Speaker 1 I just got to act this shit out.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I remember I jumped off this man's bed. I stumbled over to his desk and I'm on the hunt for a ruler.

Speaker 1 And unfortunately, news flash, unfortunately, guys in their 20s apparently don't keep rulers around. So I found the next best option, a thick spiral notebook, a five-star thick boy, okay?

Speaker 1 And I brought the notebook over to this man and I handed it to him, turning around

Speaker 1 so he could spank me with it. I was so proud of myself.
Like, I'm thinking I'm rocking this guy's world in the moment. I'm like, oh my God, I'm fucked up and I can think of this genius shit.

Speaker 1 I'm literally bent over, ready for Papa to give it a swing.

Speaker 1 And then I'm just kind of like, air is like bristling my butthole. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 he didn't spank me.

Speaker 1 Okay. He didn't spank me.
He'd even pick up the fucking book. Okay.
And after a minute, I looked back at him kind of like,

Speaker 1 what the fuck is he doing? I turn around.

Speaker 1 This man was sitting up, getting out of bed, putting his fucking pants on. And I watched in absolute horror as he proceeded to button his pants, put his shirt on.

Speaker 1 He handed me my schoolgirl skirt, and he said the most dreaded words a girl can hear.

Speaker 1 He said, I'm going to go back to the party.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 no, my ego in that moment, to be like,

Speaker 1 my skirt was off, I'm ready for the big boop boop, and he won't even fucking touch me.

Speaker 1 In that moment, I realized I was not the schoolgirl of his dreams, and I had, in in fact, made a massive fool of myself.

Speaker 1 And I think I remember like waking up that morning so fucking mortified about what he probably told his friends and was like talking about with them that morning.

Speaker 1 But the glorious part of college, I will say,

Speaker 1 is that you are never, ever, ever, ever alone in ruining your life, especially on Halloween. Something about costumes clearly makes all of us girls act fucking insane.

Speaker 1 And I remember I'm tucked in bed in my single fucking trunk trunk in my little dorm room.

Speaker 1 And I'm, I'm on the verge of just flinging myself out the window and ending it all because I'm like, it's the hockey guys. They're going to talk.
I was supposed to be the hot new freshman.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? And I remember the next morning. My first friend barges through the door and she has cat makeup smeared down her face onto her tits.

Speaker 1 She has a little bandeau on and she is wearing long, long, long boy shorts. She has size 16 shoes on, sneakers, like whale fucking fucking boots.

Speaker 1 And she comes in announcing that she had fucked the captain of the crew team, hence the size 16 fucking shoe.

Speaker 1 And she says, and when I say fucked, I say that loosely because I attempted to ride said captain of crew team with a little soft wiener, okay?

Speaker 1 And then the rest of that morning, all of my friends trickled in. My fucking slutty ass bumblebee of a friend tried to fuck the wrestler.
She got tag teamed by two men that night.

Speaker 1 It literally just, no, my friends came one in one. And if anything, I'm not going to lie, my story was like low-key not the worst.
And I just remember we talked about it and we debriefed.

Speaker 1 We debriefed so hard. I will never forget all of us that morning just really hyping each other up because what the fuck else can you do? And saying, it's not that bad.
Like he probably won't remember.

Speaker 1 Truly, the reason we were doing this, all of that, was so that we could get the courage to walk into the dining hall with our heads held high and potentially come face to face with our demons.

Speaker 1 Like if I saw that man in the dining hall, this is quick note just for dowdy gang.

Speaker 1 If you ever have an awkward moment with a hookup or someone or anything in your life, the rule that I live by is it isn't awkward and you can completely morph that person's memory and perception if you are so fucking normal the next day that they're like, oh, wait, I forgot she's like hot and cold.

Speaker 1 And like, wait, like she's so much more cool than I thought she'd be about that.

Speaker 1 Like, trust me when I say I wanted to literally exit and run and transfer, but I saw that kid kid the next morning in the dining hall and I walked right up to him and it pained me to do so.

Speaker 1 And I was like, last night was weird, fun. What are you guys doing tonight? And my, I hope.

Speaker 1 Well, I know my casualness about the absolute demolishment that I did to my personal career and my ego and my reputation kind of went to the wayside because he saw the tits. I was looking good.

Speaker 1 And he said like, oh, we're going out tonight. And I ended up dating the kid.
So you know what? It's never as bad bad as it seems, but that moment it really put me, it put me into the ground.

Speaker 1 It let me know, like, you're not shit, Alex. And don't for a fucking second think that you can just swing this shit left and right without consequences.
Um, so that was my freshman year.

Speaker 1 Honestly, not as bad as it could have been.

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Speaker 1 My junior year, Halloween. Oh my God.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Story time.

Speaker 1 This was a different type of canon event. This is where I would say I was less humbled

Speaker 1 and I really started this year to master finessing. Fuck boys.

Speaker 1 Let me set the scene. So my junior year, I was talking to this professional athlete who lived in New York City.
I knew that he would have the best Halloween plans.

Speaker 1 And so I was determined to get myself invited and to spend the weekend with him. Now, the problem was this guy wasn't really the type to make plans ahead of time with me.

Speaker 1 You know, it was more of like a spur of the moment type of relationship. And I had to kind of be ready and on call at any given moment.
We weren't dating. So yes, he was a fuckboy.

Speaker 1 And yes, I was at his like beck and call. Okay, but don't fucking judge me.

Speaker 1 So I was so fucking desperate that I ended up leaving Boston and all of my friends on Halloween weekend to return home to good old Newtown, Pennsylvania. Now, why did I do that?

Speaker 1 Let me explain my logic here.

Speaker 1 I needed to go home so that when I got the last-minute text asking me to join in on his Halloween plans, I would be only one state away ready to plop my ass on New Jersey transit and have a straight shot into New York City, okay?

Speaker 1 So I lied and I told him that I was going to be in the city and I was going to be out with some of my friends.

Speaker 1 Little did he know, I was literally sitting in my fucking childhood home with my parents, watching them prepare for all of the young, young sprout kids to come and trick-or-treat in our cul-de-sac, okay?

Speaker 1 But he thought I was going to be in New York, okay? And so my costume this year was very strategic. I knew it was guaranteed to make this man fall in love with me.

Speaker 1 He was obsessed with Game of Thrones, and I was going to dress as Khaleesi. At that point in college, I had platinum blonde hair that was so fake.
It was nearing white, honestly.

Speaker 1 Now I look back and I'm like, that was ill. But at the time, it was perfect for the costume.
So I didn't even need to wear a wig, okay? It was perfect.

Speaker 1 And I would by no mean, if I'm being truthful with myself, like I wouldn't really consider myself a Halloween girly, but I put fucking effort into this costume. Hours of blood, sweat, and tears.

Speaker 1 I was so committed. So

Speaker 1 it's Friday night of Halloween weekend. I am sitting at home in Pennsylvania with Lori and Brian.
It's early in the afternoon. I would say it's about like two or three o'clock.

Speaker 1 And I start texting him. It starts as small talk, but my goal is to have him invite me to his Halloween plans in New York City.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Now the problem is, because I really want to break this down in the desperation,

Speaker 1 I needed a strong, firm invite from him because I had to get on a train, pay for a train ticket. That train ride was an hour and a half to New York City.

Speaker 1 And when I got there, my broke ass could not afford for him to cancel the plans because I had nowhere to stay. Like, I couldn't afford a New York City hotel room, right?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 if I was going into the city, I had to be able to rely on this man. Now, why wasn't I just truthful?

Speaker 1 Why didn't I just tell him that I was in Pennsylvania and I would come into the city if he wanted me to and if he wanted to invite me to his plans? Because it gave him too much fucking power, okay?

Speaker 1 This is when I was in my toxic days. This was in my, I couldn't be truthful with a man phase, okay? Because anybody who has ever hooked up with a fuckboy knows.
The chiller the plans, the better.

Speaker 1 And you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 If he knew that my mom was putting me in her fucking minivan and driving me to the train station in Trenton, New Jersey, just to come see him, way too much effort, game over.

Speaker 1 Like he would have freaked out. He's like, that is way too committal.
That's way too serious. Like, your mom knows about me.
Like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Like, it needed to seem like I was already out and about, so chill. I wasn't even in the city just for him.
But like, if he invited me, like, sure, I'll pop by. I'm cool.
like that.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, like, when you're on a budget, nothing is fucking chill. Okay, nothing is fucking cool about this.

Speaker 1 So I hope I'm painting enough of a picture of like the intricate and delicate dance I was having to do with this fuckboy. So I'm pacing in my childhood room.

Speaker 1 My mom's on my bed because she's like fully clued into the story. And she's like, send the text, send the text.
Like we got to know, like, are we getting you to the train station or not?

Speaker 1 Like, send the text. And I'm like looking at my Hannah, Montana poster, and my, my high school musical poster and my Jonas Brother poster.
And I'm like, I need to get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 I got to send the text. So I shoot it off and I ask him, what are your plans for tonight? So chill.

Speaker 1 I ended up throwing my fucking phone across the room. I tell my mom, like, you're going to need to fucking check it.
Like, and of course I had like his little

Speaker 1 like ringtone. If he texted me, like, I knew his exact ringtone.
And I'm waiting for the ringtone. And my mom's like, it's going to be fine.
You're so gorgeous, sweetie.

Speaker 1 Moms are so annoying like that. Like, shut up, mom.
Okay. I'm one of many.
I know my fucking place, bitch. She's like, okay, sweetie, do you think you should be talking to this man?

Speaker 1 I'm like, yes, bitch. You're driving me if he fucking says come.
She's like, okay, mental illness.

Speaker 1 So the dreaded hour goes by.

Speaker 1 And he finally answers. And you know it's good when like you text the fuck boy and like you've been like getting after it.
Like he, it's like, ooh, one minute after another.

Speaker 1 And then you ask him what his fucking plans are and it's ghost city. You're like, ooh,

Speaker 1 ooh, that's like, that's a direct attack. You're like, bitch, we were, I just saw like you were fucking typing and now you're not typing.
Like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 So finally he answers and he says, I don't know yet. What are your plans?

Speaker 1 I wanted to smash my phone into my fucking forehead. Okay.

Speaker 1 Again, like, I had no fucking plans, but I'm going along with the lie. So I try to play it cool.

Speaker 1 So I was like, oh, like, me and my friends are probably just going to like bop around to some bars, like, but let me know if you want to meet up.

Speaker 1 And poor my mom is just like, why don't you just be direct? I'm like, mom, if you give me advice one more fucking time, I'm gonna fuck boy. I'm gonna fucking lose my shit.
She's like, okay, sweetie.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go make you some hot cocoa. Now, here's the thing:

Speaker 1 I was actively refreshing New Jersey transit times and losing more and more hope. And when I say actively, my dad's like sitting there with me, like working the system.

Speaker 1 Like, this is a family operation, okay?

Speaker 1 But this guy's communication at this point was so non-committal that I knew if I got on a train and just kind of went for it at that point, I would have been standing alone in New York City with nowhere to stay

Speaker 1 dressed as Khaleesi. You know what I mean? Like none of my friends were in New York City at this point.
So keep in mind, okay? So when it hit 9 p.m., I made the executive decision

Speaker 1 to shift gears and shift my plan for the night.

Speaker 1 I saw on his friends' social media that they were out.

Speaker 1 And I saw only the back, like a little strand of his hair, the back of his head, a strand of his hair, but I knew it was him.

Speaker 1 And it ignited something in me.

Speaker 1 I knew,

Speaker 1 I knew in that moment I needed to strategize. So I called my parents into the living room for family meeting.

Speaker 1 And I said, if you guys have ever loved me, I need you both to buck up and pull this next move off with me, okay? Our family name is fucking on this shit, okay?

Speaker 1 They're like, we have literally lost, we have lost our daughter, okay?

Speaker 1 But immediately they're in. My parents were like so used to my antics at this point, and they're just like happy I'm fucking home and I'm including them in any of this.
So I told them that here we go.

Speaker 1 I told my parents that we had to transform our garage into something that would pass for a sick Halloween warehouse party.

Speaker 1 Because I needed this man's attention and I needed to post on social media in my Khaleesi costume ASAP.

Speaker 1 But it needed to like look somewhat adjacent to something you could see at like a rustic New York City like grunge speakeasy, okay?

Speaker 1 So we headed into the garage and we started to really like clear the shit out and like throw it on the driveway, right?

Speaker 1 My childhood bike, kicked to the fucking curb, the box of Christmas decorations, get the fuck out of my way. My dad's lawnmower, gone.
I was like, mom, what is this box?

Speaker 1 She's like, those are your baby photos. How cute should we go through it? I'm like, mom, burn it to the fucking ground, okay? We need to get this operation up and running.
I was a woman on a mission.

Speaker 1 My poor parents. Once we cleared out a corner of the garage, I had my mom working the camera.
My dad was standing behind her, manning the lighting, okay?

Speaker 1 We needed it to look spur of the moment, like even a little blurry could do, while also hitting the perfect angles, okay?

Speaker 1 So by the grace of God, my parents got the shot, and I immediately went inside and did the only thing I knew I could do to make the shit even better.

Speaker 1 Photoshop the shit out of this photo on picmonkey.com. Tits bigger, ass bigger, lips bigger, waist smaller.
I looked fucking amazing. Honestly, I was, I looked, I looked A-plus.

Speaker 1 I was playing right into his fantasy. Now, I knew I couldn't just throw up any basic Halloween post, right? This man isn't going to call me if he sees a little fucking bo peep on his feed.

Speaker 1 I needed this costume to awaken something in him and alter his brain chemistry. Was I doing too much? Hey, yeah, it's each zone, okay? I wanted, I wanted to put in the work.

Speaker 1 I'm a creative person, okay?

Speaker 1 So there I was. Like, picture this.
I'm not fucking kidding you guys. Cause once you get your family involved and shit, they want to see it through, right? So I'm like on my fucking phone.

Speaker 1 It's like the beginning days of Instagram. My dad's on my right shoulder.
My mom's on my left. My mom's on the phone with my brother.
My dad's on the phone with my sister.

Speaker 1 It's a whole family operation. My brother's like, you're a fucking idiot.
My sister's like, ah, gal, this is so fun. Like, fuck them.
Like, everyone has a say. I'm like, shh.

Speaker 1 Post.

Speaker 1 My mom's like, oh my God, did we get the right lighting? Should we do another one? Like, mom, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 And like clockwork,

Speaker 1 less than 10 minutes later, I got a text. I got a text.

Speaker 1 And it said something along the lines of, holy shit, babe, your costume. You look fucking insane.
Where are you? I need to see you.

Speaker 1 Jackpot.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 something inside me shifted. And I realized

Speaker 1 so much of that night and my relationship with that person was based off of

Speaker 1 who had the power.

Speaker 1 And a light bulb went off in that moment when I realized, holy shit,

Speaker 1 this new plan would be even more effective than if I went into the city.

Speaker 1 I had a chance.

Speaker 1 to make this man jealous. Based off of this picture alone, okay, he was under the assumption that I was somewhere in New York City wearing the costume of his dreams and he wasn't with me, right?

Speaker 1 So what did I do?

Speaker 1 I took the costume off,

Speaker 1 washed my face, did an everything shower, cuddled up on the couch with my mom and pop, okay?

Speaker 1 Turned on Halloween town, said, Austill Lowego, motherfucker. And an hour after he sent that text, I replied to his text with a simple kissy emoji.
What did that do? What did that effect do?

Speaker 1 What was his canon event? Okay.

Speaker 1 It made this man spiral. Think about it.
Daddy Gang, if you're fucking with a fuckboy, he had just asked me where I was. AKA, I got what I wanted.
He wanted to see me. And I was ignoring his request.

Speaker 1 He just asked me a question and I just hit him with a fucking emoji. So what do you think happened next?

Speaker 1 He texted me again. Babe, where are you?

Speaker 1 I want to see you in that outfit i dozed off at around 10 30 sharp okay i was fucking exhausted it was a big day of work you know what i mean curled up in my childhood bed when i tell you daddy gang i woke up to 22 text messages and about eight calls from this man when i woke up It was the best fucking gift I had ever received, hands down, okay?

Speaker 1 The texts are like, Alex, where are you? I need you. Like, it's all like sweet.
Like, come to me, baby. And then all of a sudden, it's like, wow, so you're with another guy.
Cool.

Speaker 1 I wanted to see you tonight. Guess not.
Damn. Like, just the spiral.
It's the fucking best. When you are in that position and you wake up to that shit, you're like,

Speaker 1 I can breathe easy. Like,

Speaker 1 damn, it feels good to be on top. And when it felt like the appropriate time that morning, I picked up my phone feeling absolutely victorious.
And I said

Speaker 1 something along the lines of, why do I have like all these text messages memorized? You guys, I, it was ill, okay.

Speaker 1 But when you spend that much time on a text message and you're going back and forth with your friends or your mom or your grandma, like you remember that shit, okay.

Speaker 1 And I wrote, haha, whoa, chill, dot, dot, dot. How was your night? Now, that may have taken me about an hour to concoct, but was perfect, okay?

Speaker 1 He texted me back immediately and he said, come over, let's spend the day together and go to this party I got invited to tonight.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 men are so fucking stupid and predictable. It's like annoying.

Speaker 1 But it really, what it is, also, women, if you are in your toxic phase still, like that advice to you is just like, you just have to, like, have your friend lock your phone away.

Speaker 1 Have them literally physically remove it from your body and hide it because it's going to do you so much better than good.

Speaker 1 When you just ghost, when you're just like, oh, I'm gone, girl, it, it works magic. So, what did I do? I,

Speaker 1 my dad drove me to New Jersey Transit. I got on that train.
I rolled up to his place, purposely looking like a little disheveled.

Speaker 1 He was insecure as ever, asking me, like, why didn't you answer me last night? Like, were you with another guy?

Speaker 1 And I was so coy. I was like, stop.
Like, we're not even exclusive. Like, chill.
Like, you calm down. Like, we're going to have fun tonight.
Just playing it so casual. We went out together that night.

Speaker 1 And later, he floated the idea of us being exclusive.

Speaker 1 The war was over, ladies. I had fucking done it.
I got more out of that Khaleesi costume than I could have ever dreamt of.

Speaker 1 And a canon event was secured for sure because that, I fear, was the moment, like one of the moments I really truly saw, like the power of

Speaker 1 finessing a fuckboy in a way that like you can't help but get a little off on it, right?

Speaker 1 Because when you've been done dirty by them and you, every girl has had that where you're sitting up and you're waiting for their text message and you're like kind of just completely on their terms.

Speaker 1 When you flip the switch and the roles are reversed, you're like, this is intoxicating and this is, and then I went on to date him and it was like the most toxic relationship, but like it's a classic.

Speaker 1 Like exactly how you got him is how you're going to lose them. It's a classic and it's a tales all the time.
Anyways, those are my two like memorable Halloween.

Speaker 1 I mean, I have a lot more Halloween stories, but that's enough for today.

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Speaker 1 This year, I did not participate in Halloween at all. Matt and I actually, this is more wholesome.
Now we're going to transition to a more wholesome side of the episode.

Speaker 1 Matt and I actually flew to Chicago this past weekend to spend it with Lauren, who you all know, she's one of my childhood best friends. She's been on the show.
And it was Lauren's 30th birthday, And

Speaker 1 she is going through

Speaker 1 an unexpected life change right now and is moving into a new apartment by herself, which is definitely overwhelming. So

Speaker 1 Matt and I knew we weren't going to let her just like do this all alone. And we wanted to physically be there with her to support her in person.

Speaker 1 And so Matt and I told her we were going to come to Chicago, but we had also cooked up a little surprise of our own.

Speaker 1 We had told Lauren that we we were going to come in town and like hang out and go to dinners and like celebrate her birthday.

Speaker 1 But little did she know we were planning to surprise her by furnishing her entire apartment.

Speaker 1 Our girl didn't have a single piece of furniture to her name in that place yet. And Matt and I were like,

Speaker 1 she needs this. And we got her.
And so we got to Chicago Friday night. We met up with Lauren and Kristen, my other childhood best friend.
She also lives in Chicago.

Speaker 1 Imagine the FOMO I have that my two best friends live in the same city and I'm just like over here in Los Angeles. The amount of dinners where I've been like, but what if you guys just like moved?

Speaker 1 And they're like, no. I'm like, okay.
But like, what if you just, and they're like, just come visit us more? I'm like, okay, fair.

Speaker 1 So we went to dinner that first night and it was 10 out of 10 amazing. It was just like the three of us girls in with Matt.

Speaker 1 If you're ever in Chicago, also just highly recommend. We went to this restaurant called Bivetes.

Speaker 1 It's like, every time I'm with Lauren and Kristen, we're always looking for like dark vibes, good energy, good music, sceny, but not too sceny, and just like a good hang.

Speaker 1 And I remember as we were singing happy birthday to Lauren, she's blowing out her candles and

Speaker 1 Kristen is like,

Speaker 1 is that Will Farrell? And we're all like, what? And Matt's like, yeah, that's definitely Will Farrell. I'm like, that's Will Farrell.

Speaker 1 And we all realized that the entire night turns out, Will Farrell and his entire family were just dining next to us all night. It was a glorious experience and it made her birthday even better.

Speaker 1 The other side of the night after after dinner was, I forgot to mention, um, Matt's one stipulation of the weekend was that he was happy to have a girls' weekend with us, okay?

Speaker 1 But we had to watch the Dodgers because they were playing the Yankees in the World Series, and Matt is a huge Dodger fan, okay?

Speaker 1 So, after dinner, we all went to a bar and we watched the game, and it was quite entertaining, honestly.

Speaker 1 Like, I've had enough baseball in my life for a lifetime, but um, I was like, you know what, it's fun, it's the fucking World Series, and it ended up ending on like a grand slam walk off the night that we were watching.

Speaker 1 And Matt was so fucking amped up. I don't know if anyone has this, but like, it was such a fun game.
I get it. Matt, we get back to the hotel room.
He's pacing.

Speaker 1 He's calling everyone he knew in LA, recapping the game. He calls his dad, he calls his brother, he calls his cousin.
Like, I'm like, Jesus Christ, Matt, sit down. He's like, I can't.

Speaker 1 This is the fucking best thing ever. So that was fun that he got a little him time.
But the big event, Saturday morning. Saturday morning was our big surprise.

Speaker 1 So we had Lauren and Kristen come over to our hotel for for breakfast and we sat Lauren down and we told her, sweetie, get ready. Today is entirely for you.
We hired a driver for the day.

Speaker 1 We are going to go to every possible store and we are going to fully design and furnish your apartment this weekend on us. Get in and get ready.

Speaker 1 And it was just like.

Speaker 1 She was in complete shock and it was so cute. It was just, I will say, like, it is so surreal being able to do

Speaker 1 stuff like that for my friends. Um, and

Speaker 1 I don't know, it was like a really fun and like emotional moment. And we like hugged and cried, and it was like a whole thing all fucking weekend.
We were all just like crying and emotional.

Speaker 1 And it was beautiful. But okay, so first stop of Saturday.
We go to her apartment. We see it beautiful.
We whip out the measuring tape. Classic.
Okay.

Speaker 1 We made a list of every single possible thing she needed. We're taking pictures of the walls.
I'll like post some of these pictures because it's funny because Matt's like directing traffic.

Speaker 1 And we basically started to formulate our design plan, which is, it is so fun to design a new space.

Speaker 1 If you're moving into a new space, like where you're going to organize things, but it's also very daunting because I think understandably, some stuff is not in stock and it's everything's coming in like piecemealed moments.

Speaker 1 And it's just like overwhelming if you don't have a vision.

Speaker 1 We asked Lauren, like, what's your aesthetic? Like, what do you want this new chapter of your life to be?

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, like, I want it to be like classic, but like have tinges of like moodiness and like kind of like weirdness and like maybe like library-esque. We're like, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Matt's like, great. Challenge accepted.
Love.

Speaker 1 So after we got all the dimensions and we're taking pages of notes, we were off to fuck up the furniture stores of Chicago. I will say.

Speaker 1 My husband really comes live in the furniture store and it is, it is quite attractive because he is so like, I I wouldn't say aggressive. He's just, if we're like, is this cute? He's like, no.

Speaker 1 We're like, is that? He's like, absolutely yes. That goes with that.
Like,

Speaker 1 when I tell you, we were like three little ducklings following Matt's lead around all these stores. He was a man on a mission.

Speaker 1 Also, maybe he was on a mission because he didn't want to miss the fucking Dodgers 7 p.m. game that started that night.
He's like, we're getting in and out. We're cutting this shit at six o'clock.

Speaker 1 I need a cocktail. But nonetheless, we hit all the places.
We went to Creighton Barrel. We went to West Elm, CB2, Pottery Barn, Rejuvenation, vintage stores.
And I kid you not,

Speaker 1 multiple stores asked, like, oh, what interior design firm do you guys work with? Because we can get you guys like a discount code for that. And we're like, no, no, no, we don't.
We're not. We're not.

Speaker 1 It's just like, we looked like a crew on a mission, you guys. Like our measuring tapes, like at one point, I'm pretty sure Lauren had the measuring tape like holstered on her belt buckle.

Speaker 1 We had our dimensions printed out. Matt is walking around like he's fucking amber interiors in this bitch.
Like he cannot be stopped. I will say, people are probably like, why?

Speaker 1 Reminder, why is Matt so good at this?

Speaker 1 Matt produces movies, right? So like he's walking around and he treats everything in life, whether we're like throwing an event or he's doing something like this.

Speaker 1 Like Matt is going to treat anything like he is producing a movie. He knows budget.
He knows color palette. He knows how it needs to visually look.

Speaker 1 He knows where people need to congregate, where people will stand, the lighting, the whole thing. So it was very fun to like see him do his thing.
And it was honestly like so relaxing.

Speaker 1 A couple of times we're walking around with our coffees. We got like chai lattes.
Matt's just like, you like this? Lauren's like, uh-huh. So we went non-stop, you guys, from 11 a.m.
to 6 p.m.

Speaker 1 I am so excited for everything to get delivered so that Lauren can begin to create this new chapter of her life for herself.

Speaker 1 Matt and I are so invested now. If anything, Matt more than me, he's literally like texting our group chat to Lauren being like, updates, photos, photos, updates, updates.

Speaker 1 Or he'll be like, it's delivery day. And I'm like, how do you know that? She is the tracking information.
He's like, I know exactly when they said it's getting delivered. I'm waiting for the photos.

Speaker 1 We're very invested.

Speaker 1 Every time a new piece of furniture arrives, she will send us a picture and we'll be like, can you move the chair a little bit more onto the rug and go a little like two inches to the left?

Speaker 1 Like it is fun. And we're all just like, I don't know, it's fun to be a part of it with her.

Speaker 1 And I think, again, like scary, daunting moments moments in your life when you have the right people around you.

Speaker 1 I think you, it literally is just about like the vibe and who you're surrounding yourself with can immediately change the way that you view something that you're going through.

Speaker 1 So I'm just so happy because it felt so amazing to be there for my friend in a moment where she needed me because she has

Speaker 1 certainly been there for me when roles have been reversed. I

Speaker 1 I've only told this story on tour, so maybe I need to tell it on the podcast one day.

Speaker 1 I'll spare you like all the details, but I will never forget when

Speaker 1 I started over in a New York apartment

Speaker 1 back in New York City. I had gone through a breakup and it was sudden.
I was basically like on the street and didn't have a place to stay.

Speaker 1 And I found this place through Facebook, Marketplace, whatever the fuck. And it was like a two-month rental.

Speaker 1 And I remember it was like the dead of winter in New York, and all that was in the room was like a mattress on the floor. And Lauren came over and we

Speaker 1 went across the street and like got like a deli sandwich and chips and sour patch. And we

Speaker 1 sat on the floor and she held me while I cried. And we slept on the mattress with no sheets that night.
And it was one of the darkest points in my life.

Speaker 1 And the one thing that allowed me to keep going and not feel utterly alone was Lauren being there for me.

Speaker 1 So it was just so special that I was able to almost like do it, like give it back to her also, because that's the weird shit about friendship.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, I didn't think that Lauren was going to be moving into a new place and now she is and I'm here for her. I also will say

Speaker 1 it is so special that Lauren and Matt are close now.

Speaker 1 There is truly no better feeling than when your best friend and partner also have a friendship of their own.

Speaker 1 And I think it's no secret that when you get older, you don't have as much time for friendship as you did when you were in high school or college, right?

Speaker 1 Like you're not running into each other at class. You don't live together anymore probably.
You're not meeting up in the dining hall every day. Now you're adulting and you have a career and a life and

Speaker 1 taxes and a mortgage or rent and you're all over the place. And like you may not even live in the same city.
But the point is,

Speaker 1 I think when you get older, you have to to make so much more of a concerted effort to see your friends and stay connected with them. I think

Speaker 1 another point to adult friendship is

Speaker 1 you really start to learn who is going to show up for you and be there for you in those hard moments. Like

Speaker 1 my friends and I were talking about it this past weekend, but like as you get older, understandably, the stakes get so much higher. I'm not really looking for a drinking buddy.

Speaker 1 I'm looking for someone who I can call and ask for their advice. So

Speaker 1 when your priorities in friendship shift,

Speaker 1 it kind of just naturally weeds some people out because it's like,

Speaker 1 do I respect your opinion? Are you someone who I want to go to for advice? And I also think one of the most common things that is kind of this like unsaid dynamic in adult relationships is

Speaker 1 the rarity that you're ever fully on the same page. Like Lauren and I right now, we both just turned 30.
Lauren is recently single and I'm married.

Speaker 1 And on paper, our lives couldn't look further from aligned. But on one hand,

Speaker 1 it doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter because

Speaker 1 how I see it and how we see it is how we are aligned is our values and how we show up for each other and the way

Speaker 1 in which we give each other advice and how we treat each other.

Speaker 1 Like when I look at it, Lauren and I always laugh, but it's like, Lauren and I have been on different pages through most of our friendship, all the way dating back to literally being like almost six years old.

Speaker 1 Like I feel like if I'm thriving, she's usually down. And if I'm down, she's usually thriving.
Like we're usually rarely ever on the same page.

Speaker 1 But that's friendship. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like those moments, though, in my opinion, when you are on different pages, are when

Speaker 1 it is even more important, Daddy Gang, to pour effort and energy and time into your friendship.

Speaker 1 It's easy when everything is aligned, but the mark, in my opinion, again, like I know everyone has different fucking definitions, but the mark of a good friendship to me is showing up for each other.

Speaker 1 when it isn't necessarily fun, when it's hard and it's exhausting and it's stressful and things are tough.

Speaker 1 And when one of you is up and one of you is down and it's like, fuck, like, I wanted to have a good time tonight, but she's fucking crying. Like, yeah.

Speaker 1 So then you sit the fuck down and you be there for someone.

Speaker 1 And like,

Speaker 1 I think having to go out of your way in moments to fit into each other's lives is so beautiful because it shows like you want to.

Speaker 1 Because there's reciprocity in the dynamic. Like Lauren meets me where I'm at, and I meet her where she's at, even if we're on complete different pages.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 oh my God, I didn't expect this to like go deep, but

Speaker 1 I think friends can be truly just as important to your life as your romantic partner. And I am so grateful for the friendship that I have with Lauren and Kristen.

Speaker 1 And so, to close out our little girls' Chicago trip,

Speaker 1 on Sunday, Kristen had us all over to her apartment and she cooked us brunch. She made us all lattes and omelets and she had her record player on.

Speaker 1 And we were just recapping the immaculate vibes of the weekend. And

Speaker 1 we were just starting to talk about like, okay, what's next for all of us? Like, what are you guys doing? And what am I doing?

Speaker 1 And so currently, Lauren and Kristen couldn't be more aligned and on the same page. They are both recently single and both just turned 30.
And so it was really fun to see them.

Speaker 1 planning single girl activities together because when you're single, let's be real, you socially have a lot more free time.

Speaker 1 And I want to say to the daddy gang, anyone that is single right now that is listening and you're kind of struggling because maybe like you have more friends that are in like relationships or they're engaged or maybe some of your friends are married or you're always fucking third wheeling.

Speaker 1 Like my bit of advice to you when I was talking to my friends this weekend is like, you need to seek out at least one other person who is single. You have to.
You have to.

Speaker 1 And it doesn't mean that Lauren and I and Kristen and I can't be friends. Like it's not that like I'm like a loser now that I'm married or like they're fucking losers because now they're single.

Speaker 1 Like no, no, no. It's just like they now are able to show up for each other in a different way than I can show up for them.
Right.

Speaker 1 And I will just overall say.

Speaker 1 One, yes, get single friends because you don't want to do that shit alone. And it's so much funner to like have someone next to you and like go through those like escapades together.

Speaker 1 But two, now from my perspective, I will say this: as I continue to build a life with Matt, I feel so fortunate that my girlfriends are such a priority and important part of my life. And

Speaker 1 something I realized is that

Speaker 1 when you find the right person and get your relationship to a healthy place, you are capable

Speaker 1 of

Speaker 1 being there for your friends even more.

Speaker 1 Like, I have been in toxic relationships where my entire emotional bandwidth was being absolutely consumed by trying to manage and fix and deal with the relationship that I was in, that it was like nearly impossible to turn to my friend and be like, What's going on with you?

Speaker 1 Like, yes, go ahead, dump. Like, tell me what's going on with you.
And even if you do, you're like half listening because you're like, I am just trying to keep my fucking head above water.

Speaker 1 We've all been there. That is so fucking common.

Speaker 1 And I will say, Daddy Gang, when you see those friends who are in those situations and you're like annoyed with them being like, they've been such a fucking bad friend lately, I know that sometimes our natural inclination is to be like, she's just been like such fucking shit.

Speaker 1 Like she's not, I get it when they're MIA, but if you're really tuned into your friend, you should know it has nothing to fucking do with your relationship. and your friendship.

Speaker 1 And it has everything to do with the fact that your friend isn't in a good place in their romantic situation. And it is like eating them alive.
And it's affecting everyone around them.

Speaker 1 It's difficult to see it when you're in it, but it's obvious. Like, one person is usually way more capable to show up for the other.
And that's just the natural ebb and flow of a friendship.

Speaker 1 I'm also pleased, like, don't get me fucking wrong. I can already see the DMs coming in.
Like, I'm not talking about the people who are like, well, she hasn't shown up in seven years, Alex.

Speaker 1 Like, that doesn't fit. Like, no, then it's time to boot the fucking bitch.
That's not what I'm talking about. But everyone goes through their hard spells.

Speaker 1 The point is, I think

Speaker 1 female friendships are some of the most incredible relationships. And I have been through so much with my friends.
And even when my life feels good and Matt and I are good,

Speaker 1 there is truly nothing like when I'm with them. And it was so cute.
Oh my God, it almost like made me emotional.

Speaker 1 It was so cute because Matt and I were on the plane ride back from Chicago and Matt like grabbed my thigh and turned to me and was like, I love seeing you this happy. And I was like, what?

Speaker 1 And he was like, this weekend was

Speaker 1 so amazing. And the bond that you have with your friends is so incredible.
Like, you guys are so lucky to have each other.

Speaker 1 And I remember I just looked at him and I was like,

Speaker 1 they're my people. Like,

Speaker 1 since six years old, they've been my people and will always be my people.

Speaker 1 And so, the last thing I guess I will say is like, reminder, daddy gang, especially when you become an adult, you don't need a giant friend group.

Speaker 1 You don't need all these different people in your life. You need one, honestly.
And I'm fortunate to have a few, but you don't need a big friend group to feel fulfilled.

Speaker 1 If anything, it allows you to invest more time into those few friends that you're really, really close with. Anyways, Daddy Gang, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode.

Speaker 1 It's just a little girly chat for us, you know? Sometimes on a Wednesday, we got to kick back and just talk and hang.

Speaker 1 So thank you so much for listening. I love you guys very much, and I will see you fuckers next Wednesday.
Goodbye.

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Okay, I recently Matt came home and was like, babe, we need to try this thing called Padelle.

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Speaker 1 And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'll get on board. The thing is, though, is like, if I'm going to do a new hobby that requires me actually moving my body, I'm going to look cute while I do it.
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