Kelsea Ballerini: Divorced at 29 (FBF)

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What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Kelsey Ballerini, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Hello, Alex Cooper.

Thank you.

Congratulations on your new EP.

Thank you.

Rolling up the welcome, Matt.

I was listening to it in the car this morning.

And I listened to every single song.

And it's great.

Thanks.

It's also obvious what it's about. Your divorce.
Yeah. So let's get into it.
Let's get into it. You met your ex-husband Morgan Evans when you were 22 years old and he's also a country singer.
Yeah. How did the two of you meet? I was hosting an award show and he was my co-host and I was like newly out of a relationship and I was in this phase where I was like on my third single but like like I just felt like the world was like opening up for the first time for me and like things were things were working and I was like I just like I believed in everything yeah you know what I mean like everything good was happening at once and I think I was just like so starry-eyed to my life and then I met this person who like was is like so charming and sweet and um and just it like aligned with this this goodness that was happening in my world and it just all kind of clicked in like this kind of fairy tale moment I also feel like that age even if like we all have our ups and downs at 21 22 but it is a pretty ideal age where you like feel like you're an adult yeah you're kind of not but like you feel like it you're feeling like it I thought that I had my entire life figured out like I thought that I knew exactly what love was and what I contributed to a relationship and what I needed out of a relationship yeah and I didn't what was your first impression of him like what were you attracted to about him he just comes from like such a a loving family that believes so much in like unity and family and I come from a really really broken family um and I was really attracted

to that like I was really attracted to the security that that idea had and that he innately had in him

yeah um we definitely came in with different ideas of a relationship you know Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. I have been so into taking little weekend trips this year.
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Check out the VIP treatment at T-Mobile.com slash benefits. What were those first few weeks and months of dating like? It was just a whirlwind.
I like I'm such a jump right in person, which I part of me was like, I don't want to do that again. And part of me is like, here I am.
But I don't know how to shield that because I I like that about myself I'm like I would rather feel things without a filter and then fall on my ass later and and feel the opposite of that feeling fully than not let myself feel a feeling like that's the point of life you know um and so I I think that like, my life was changing so much. And I was, like, all of a sudden busy all the time and traveling the world for the first time.
Like, I'm from Knoxville. And then I was, like, going to Australia.
You know, I was like, this is amazing. Like, look at the world.
Yes. And he felt steady, really, really steady through all the chaos of my life changing.
When you look back now at those beginning first few, even like weeks, month or two of dating, is there anything now you can be like, oh, I think that's a red flag, but you were too young at the time to recognize? I, at 22, was much quieter. I didn't have an opinion on much.
I, um, I'm a people pleaser to my core. And I think that that was the thing that was in the driver's seat.
I was a mirror back to whoever was in front of me. And I was really good at being whoever people needed me to be.
And then I grew up. You got engaged after nine months of knowing each other.

Yeah.

Nine months of knowing each other.

Were you surprised when he proposed?

No.

No.

Really?

I mean, it was like, it was balls to the wall.

It was all in.

Had you guys talked about getting engaged?

Yeah.

And it's so funny because I swore I would never get married.

It was just not my thing. And I think it's because I watched my parents really have a time with it.
They had a nasty divorce. They still can't really be in the same room.
And so I think being an only child, watching that, walking through that at 12, 13, like those impressionable ages, I was just like, I'm not doing it. When you guys got engaged, what was your friends and family reaction they were happy I mean I think I think there was definitely uh like this is this is pretty vast um undertone to everything but like you know he's a good person and he was really good to me especially then yeah so I think they wanted to see me happy I also think that they were watching my life start to change and they wanted someone with me that was more steady.
So I didn't have a go off the rails moment. That makes sense.
I was wondering if there were any of those like friends that sometimes it creates a riff in the friendship, but they're like, Kelsey, like, are you sure? Like, this is really soon. Like, did you not have anyone in your life that was questioning you people questioned him more than they questioned me like my friend Megan I'll never forget this um the first time she met him she pulled him aside and she said you have a lot more to gain from this than she does why did you think that is I think we were just in different places you know he he's nine years older than me and he was kind of restarting his career in the states and I was like digging my heels in and it was just we were in different places with our with our jobs and with where we were at with them did you feel that way that he had more to gain I never felt like that until afterwards yeah did you live together before you got engaged we did how soon did you move in together eight months wow you had eight months it sounds insane for me to say it out loud now sometimes you can be so in it and clouded in your judgment because like the immediate in front of you feels so good and makes so much sense in your head not to say it's a full bad decision it's just like you don't have the wherewithal to be like let me think about this not from a place of being young and in love and infatuated like it's really fucking hard but eight months to move in did you move in with him or did he move in with you or did you guys get like a mutual place he moved in with me that's interesting so he's nine years older you have a place and he moves in with you how did that conversation go um it was just kind of the undertone of the whole relationship you know now do you see that as a red flag do you think if in that specific instance say like moving in like if you had pushed back do you think the relationship would have progressed in the way that it did maybe not as swiftly i think that definitely accelerated it um but like i said like i was just i was like how can i be of service i'm a people pleaser what what do we need to do to make this happen you know did anyone ever ask you guys like what's the rush like why do you have to get married so soon like date have fun I'm sure I'm sure people did yeah I'm sure people did and I just simply did not care to listen okay take me to

your wedding day what do you remember about that day oh my god I haven't thought about that in a

minute um I just wanted everyone to have a nice time. I didn't want to have a wedding.
Why? Um, because I didn't, I think at the end of the day, I really want to get married. Um, I did in that moment, but fundamentally, I think from the trauma that I had as a kid I didn't and then I

think I told myself that I did and I take the full responsibility of that narrative did you ever share with him that you didn't think fundamentally you believed in marriage for yourself I think these bigger thoughts started really showing up as I grew up. And that was in the marriage.
Yeah. You know, because I was like, of course, I love you.
Of course I want to marry you. Of course I want to have kids with you.
And then we were married and then it was like time for kids. And then I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
How you enter into a relationship and how you show up to it. And like that, that's going to be the through line.
Yeah. And so I started overcompensating really, really early on.
And that happened till the very end. Can you explain what you mean by that overcompensating? Like I was the one who was like, when am I going to see you? How is that going to happen? Here's the flight.
Let me buy that flight for you. Here's the hotel.
Sure, I'll leave my mom for Christmas and buy our flights to go see your family in Australia. Okay, cool.
We have an anniversary coming up. Should we book a trip? Okay, I'll do that too.
We're home for a week. I'll book the cleaners.
I got that, too. Like, I just did it all.
And it's because I started it that way. I didn't ask him to meet me anywhere.
I just did it. When you're saying you were basically financially funding the relationship, when did you start to get, like, resentful? When I just simply didn't see him I got to a place where I was

like if I wasn't if I wasn't killing myself to figure out how this overlaps and how this works

as I'm like you know busy just we wouldn't exist we and why weren't you seeing him where is he

Thank you. works as I'm like you know busy just we wouldn't exist wait and why weren't you seeing him where is he I mean he was touring he was doing doing it all I just I think if you want to you will yeah so how was your first year of marriage because you were married for five years almost five okay so how was the first year of marriage? Because you were married for five years.
Almost five. Almost five.
Okay. So how was the first year of marriage? It was great.
Okay. It was great.
We, like, we were still so young in our relationship. Like, our relationship was still so young.
Right. Let alone the marriage, you know? So, like, we were still kind of in, like, the rainbows and butterflies.
And it was fun and sweet and romantic and there was effort and um I know I always say to myself and to my girlfriends of like you have to get to the year mark and then you kind of start to recognize if you'd want to be with that person yeah you got married in the honeymoon stage for sure when did you realize the two of you were not on the same page about what marriage looked like longer than I give myself credit for um a long time a long time and there were there was separations there was years of couples therapy there was like many a nights of sleeping on the couch like this was just a relationship that took work for a long time. Do you remember like the first night that you slept on the couch? I remember, I don't think it was the first night, but I remember it was a night where I was like, this is not what I want.
But I slept on the couch the night before the CMAs. And I remember I went to rehearsal at the arena and texting him and him being like I'll just see you at the carpet like okay can you give me a little bit more of an why did you sleep on the couch there was just such a sense of disconnection we hadn't seen each other there was a lack of effort to see each other I was getting resentful because anytime we did see each other I couch? There was just such a sense of disconnection.
We hadn't seen each other.

There was a lack of effort to see each other.

I was getting resentful because anytime we did see each other,

I felt like I was carrying that load.

And I was tired.

I was just tired of showing up in that way all the time and not feeling like I was seen or matched.

And then I was also tired from traveling all the time

and giving so much of myself

because that's what I want to do to honor my career too and I think I just felt really depleted and not understood what did those nights look like like fight wise though like are you we didn't fight you didn't fight yeah we didn't fight no so it would be just silence you're walking out you're sleeping on the couch you wake up in the next morning and it's like yeah that's how it goes yeah and when you walk out onto the like to go to sleep on the couch he doesn't come to try to get you he stays in the room it's just silence yeah but how would you feel when you're on the couch like going to bed like what were do you remember what you were mentally going through i definitely learned how to compartmentalize which is some undoing that we're working on now yeah because i was like i have to work tomorrow i have to work tomorrow and i have to show up with him so people don't ask questions and then you know 2021 i host the cmt awards he just wasn't there he didn't show up i i was like you cannot come you cannot come it was so bad why did you not want him to go? Because I had to work and I had to show up. And I knew that if he was there, we were like in and out of separation and just not good.
And I was like, it's just like, I don't want to fake it. I don't want to fake it.
Did people in your life know that this was happening? Yeah. Everyone in my life knew this was happening yeah everyone in my life knew this was happening everyone in his life knew this was happening how soon into the marriage did you guys get into couples therapy because i know you said you've been doing for years year two and what was like the issue you kept reaching a standstill on to make you be like we need to go to couples therapy um just like feeling really lopsided just feeling like this relationship would not be alive if i if i didn't do everything and i just like you getting on the plane that i found and booked for you is not enough when you because i appreciate how you said earlier like everyone is gonna have their own

side and i like really respect that everyone experiences it their own way but from your recollection of how you felt in those moments what would be his reasoning when you would come at him to be like i'm literally doing fucking everything like give me something like what would he say um I mean he was busy too you know and I I think I was maybe a little too nice about it um but like he needed to do what he needed to do too and and also by the way like I don't pin the whole downfall on him at all, I was not perfect, he was not perfect, it was not perfect, um, and so there were definitely moments that I look back on where I'm like, oh, I should have done that different, or I could have showed up here, I could have taken the flight this time, whatever it is, um, and I, in, in the unravel unraveling that's definitely something that i ended up

sharing with him um just saying like i need to own the last few years of like i think i checked

out a long time ago and i need know the state of my mind and how I feel, therapy has been such a great investment, a big investment, but a great investment.

And because I know the state of my mind and how I feel about myself is so important to me enjoying life in general and being a good person and being a good friend and being a good daughter and being a good wife, that investment has returned to me tenfold. Let's talk numbers.
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Your pictures from your wedding were in People Magazine. How did the pressure of having a public relationship also impact how long you stayed? I think I'd be lying to say it didn't.
I think there was a lot. I think there were two levels of fear that I had to get past one was that I was my parents like having that fear of like you're doing what they did how how has this happened anything that how our parents fucked us up we're like I'm gonna do it the complete opposite I'm not gonna let this happen to me can you talk about your feelings towards having that as like a big thing in your head of like, I cannot fail because I don't want to be my parents.
Like how did that mentally and emotionally affect you? I think I got married because of my parents. I think I got divorced because of me and I I like I think me choosing to get out of that marriage was me kind of rewriting what divorce looks like and what it means I was listening this morning and I remember hearing the line of like I may be not getting this exactly correct but it's like we would text and in place of basically like sex when did like you lose the spark in your relationship sex in in in my life and in my journey has been something that's taken a lot of um work um I think I grew up really really, really religious.
And I went to like a Church of Christ college. And like, if you have sex before marriage, you're going to hell.
That was like in my body, like not just my mind, but like my body. And I had been with one other person before I got married.
And it was a really negative sexual experience and it was in a relationship but it just was not healthy at all and so the way that i define sex was very one-sided very for the man very um not not a sense of connection at all and then it was also littered littered with this like you're going to hell and so then i got married and um like had this shame around it going into it um that made it really difficult for us to connect in that way from the very beginning and i don't even think i understood what a good sexual relationship was so i don't think i had anything to compare it to it just was yeah when we saw each other not very often yeah that would be something that i knew that he wanted and needed and i wanted to be a good wife yeah were you lonely yeah yeah for sure but i will say like i learned the value in female friendship like oh my god so much like I'm an only child and I always wanted sisters so badly and I'm gonna cry not this but like that is such a gift that came out of it was like I I have like such a good group of girlfriends that would like they've just shown up when it's not convenient and um i i have a story yeah because this to me is like this to me is just in a nutshell the reason it ended and the reason that i am where i am and the reason that i'm fucking happy um is there was a time that i was out here i think it it was 2019, and I get really, really, I get sad in LA. I don't know what it is.
And I didn't have a good group of friends out here yet. I do now.
In therapy, I was learning, like, you can't expect your partner to read your mind. If you need something, ask for it.
Like, that's going to lead to a healthier communication. And so I remember I called him and I was like sobbing and I was just like I'm in a bad place I need you like can you please get on a flight sent him the flight um and he didn't come and I remember um feeling like really embarrassed because I was vulnerable and I asked and I hate asking and all these things.
And it was just a moment that I shared with my friends and whatever. And then last year I was on tour going through the divorce publicly, going on stage every night.
And my best friend Kelly surprised me at my L.A. show.
And it was such it was so special. Like that whole show was so special.
And then the next day I had a day off and we were driving in Malibu and she looked at me and she was like, Hey, do you know why I'm here? And I was like, cause you wanted to see the Greek show. She's like, no, because in 2019 you had to ask for someone to come out here that should have known that he should have known and you asked and he didn't show up and I'm here to show you that it's not that fucking hard.
Who brought up the idea of divorce first? Me. How did you begin that conversation? Take us to that moment.
The moment I think it was over over was I was realizing that I wasn't ready for kids and that's a fundamental difference and I don't and I still don't I don't know if I want kids at all or not um but that was something that we had talked about early on and that was something that I was changing on you know because he was ready he was like I don't want to be an old dad is what he kept saying and I was like I'm not I just like I'm not there yet and I can't I can't do that to like save this and give you something that I'm not ready for like I just can't do that to myself um and I remember I went to get everything checked to see if I could freeze my eggs and I didn't tell him and I took him out to dinner and I was like for my 30 30th birthday, I want to freeze my eggs. And it was not a good day.
It was not a good day. And I think that was when I was like, there's a fundamental difference here that has happened and that has shifted.
And it's no longer like, I don't see this person. I miss this person.
I'm alone. I'm lonely.
It's like, he wants something out of life that I'm I don't think I'm I don't I'm not there and whether I'll get there or not I don't think it's with this person if it is um and I think internally in hindsight that's where I went like I think maybe we need to rethink this Kels first all, I really respect you having that moment within yourself to be like, because of now kind of getting to know you, you're like, I have people-pleasing tendencies. I sometimes have a hard time with saying no, and so I'm just going to go with the flow and I'm going to go with it.
There's lot of people that have children to save a marriage yeah and that is I mean children are beautiful things but like not to save a marriage yeah and so the fact that you had that internal strength to be like I know this is never going to be something that I can do just to save this it sounds like there there was a very bad reaction. Do you think had he been loving and sweet about it, would you be in this situation? I think at the end of the day, even the fact that I was having the conversation of freezing my eggs, that was telling me that we were on different pages with it.
Yeah. You know, he was like ready, ready.
and I was wanting to freeze my eggs a year and a half from then right so when did you have the like the conversation that you wanted a divorce in August um but we had kind of been separated and I had asked for a separation and so we were like switching off in the house and I was like living with my mom if I wasn't on the road um and then I went on this girl's trip to Napa with like all my girlfriends and I just felt joy like pure joy and I was and I and I wasn't sharing it with them like we weren't talking you know and uh I was just like yeah this I like this version of myself so much more so did you end up having like a conversation with him or did you just when did that happen um a couple weeks later when I saw him in person um and it was like a really beautiful conversation if I'm honest with you you know I was just really was just really honest. I just said like I've loved what this has brought in my life.
And I respect you. And I respect me.
And because of that, I can no longer be in this marriage. And I really want to do this together.
And I really want to like honor the good that we've experienced by doing this the right way. And, um, and like, it was, it was beautiful.
I cried, we hugged, it was sweet. And then something changed and I don't, I haven't talked to him since.
Oh, wow. You never spoke through like the lawyers and everything.
That was it. That was the last day you last day you spoke wow yeah he'll like after that conversation obviously you lawyer up and you tell you tell your team and you get your people and yeah and um yeah and everything kind of just shifted how does that make you feel that you haven't spoken i mean i'm at peace with it now at first i was just like i i just felt like you know we had had a conversation of like let's let's do this right like this doesn't have to be yep this doesn't have to be nasty this doesn't have to be what i've experienced divorce to look like it got nasty yeah it did he released a song about your divorce and this was before it was finalized this was weeks after we decided and you had no idea the song was coming out no some of the lyrics and these are like not even some of the i'm not gonna say the worst but like it was how long have you been waiting to take our pictures down why am i just finding out i was reading the lyrics and i was like oh shit like from my interpretation i was like he is like blaming you of like you have like known all along that you weren't in this and like i'm blindsided and like why why are you just like randomly last minute telling me like this this is pretty fucked up when you heard the song and

when you hear the lyrics what does it make you feel oh so angry so angry that's like that i felt

pretty i had a pretty good grasp on like my grieving journey until that song came out

and i was livid i think that maybe there's a world where he was blindsided I did not blindside him I think two things can be true and I I think like if he truly was blindsided then where was he and that's the point yeah because you write were you blindsided or were you just blind the truth is hard to hear but it wasn't hard to find can you explain your like mentality when you were writing these lyrics and like where were you at trying to explain this I mean I think I was just kind of like putting examples in there like we were in therapy for years like remember that time that I slept on the couch before the CMA awards and then we like walked the carpet like with bags under our eyes because we'd been fighting like but not really fighting because like you know I was just like again if that is your narrative if that's true to you like where were you how does it feel though to like in that moment now be going like back and forth in songs with your ex-husband I feel if I if I'm honest like I felt like it was really opportunistic for him to put that out when he did when we were still going through the legalities of getting divorced and um i felt really used in that moment

um and again his healing journey is his healing journey i respect that but but publicly exploiting it feels a little nasty to me before it's final now we're like months past it you know we're moving on and and I've taken the time to, like, actually sit in my feelings and, like, go through that grieving process and and take ownership of what I what I brought to the table, too, you know, and and that's why, like, this EP has been like, I'm nervous to put it out for sure. But I wish I would have had it in August.
I wish I wish in August when I was like I'm blowing up my life. I'm doing it.
That someone would have had those six songs that I could have listened to. To like go through the intricacies of the emotions of everything that you think your life is going to look like it's not when you were saying it got nasty it obviously feels like it's not just because he wrote a song no no can you share yeah I mean I want to like protect him weirdly in this um but like one thing that was he was so diehard about in the beginning was like I don't ever want people to think that I'm like using you or riding any coattails or like trying to get opportunities through you or any of that and I never felt like he did I never felt like he did like to my core even now I'm like I believe I have to believe that this man like was purely just in love with me, not artist me like me, me, you know, and.

And then we got divorced and who you marry is not who you divorce. and um like you know as he's putting out a song about being blindsided, he's taking half the house that he didn't pay for.
So you didn't get a prenup? I did get a prenup. It was kind of like that or alimony.
What fuck what the fuck i remember being on tour and um i had just gone home i had like two shows and then one night off and i flew home to pack up my shit in the house because we were listing it and flew back to denver and got on a call with my manager and my lawyer,

and they're like, you know, he wants half the house.

That's how they're reading the prenup.

Or there's messy alimony language.

And I just remember being on the phone being like,

can you articulate to me that I have, like, a choice right now

to either give up half of the house? That I bought I bought and he contributed but not not equal and or say legally in this marriage and have like public alimony hearings indefinitely and they're like that's correct and I was like give him the house I want out I want Give me out. How did that make you feel when you got

that? Like shit. Here's the thing.
And this is the thing that I still have to work on. It makes me not trust myself.
It makes me not trust myself because I'm like, hurt people, hurt people. I totally get that.
And I have grace. I really do.
because I do I do know that he was hurt and is hurt but like how did i

how was i married to this person for this long and i had no idea that that that bit of character

was tucked within that human being that's what's hard for me that's what's hard for me. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by White Claw.
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I love a good wing, but if it does not have a crunch, I start to be like, what is this texture and why is it happening? So daddy gang gang you can always get so much more at jack in the box like free food when you sign up for the jack app when I go all the way back to the beginning of this interview and your friends were like you have way more to gain than she does don't let him take blah and then I get it the feeling of like oh my god it's fucking happening. Yeah.
It's, it's all happening.

It's a really shit feeling.

And I also appreciate you being like, I have to somewhat blame myself like that.

It's hard to, you got to like look inward of like, what did I miss?

It takes two to tango.

Totally.

Fully.

And I think anyone that like looks at the downfall of any kind of relationship and just

points their finger has a lot of work to do on themselves.

You know, like I've, I take a lot of ownership and I like, you know, I write in the, I write in there, like I've shared all my secrets and I paid for all my crimes. Like I was not perfect, but I gave my honesty to who I owed it to.
When you look back at this whole situation, what part of yourself do you feel like you lost or you kind of like silenced and pushed down during that marriage that now you're like whoa like look at me now like I feel like I'm like awake I think that I allowed there to be such a fear around getting divorced at 29 I think for me I think he loves me more at 23 and I love me more at 29 how are you finding a more positive spin than rather accepting the shame that society puts on women of like oh god she's divorced I think it's just all about forward motion you know like first of all asking yourself the question would you rather be lonely in a relationship or lonely alone coming to terms with that blowing up your life just in letting it letting the dust settle where it's going to that's been hard for. I love that you use the word blowing up your life because I really do feel.
I had a white picket fence. No.
Yeah. And I feel like it feels that way.
Right. And I bet so many people listening are in a situation where they're like, oh, fuck, I wish I was you, Kelsey, because I haven't blown my shit up yet and I'm just staying in it because I don't know how to end it.
And I don't know if you have any advice to someone. Of like how the fuck do you get the courage.
Because in your mind you actually are saying. I'm about to blow my life up.
You're not. Yeah.
But I'm not. I would say the same thing if I was going through it.
It feels like that in the moment. So how do you.
Now that you're on the other side of it. To speak to people maybe that like I can't blow my life up like our families like each other and our friends and our lives are entangled like we have a house together we may have kids together like yeah what do you say to someone that's like stuck in it I think asking yourself what the worst case scenario is like is the worst case scenario feeling like you're feeling forever or is it his mom being mad at you is it tmz running a story what is that the worst case scenario it's all right you're right worst case is fucking staying in something that makes you miserable worst case is staying in something where you are not honoring yourself and in doing that you're not honoring them and you're not allowing them to go live the life that they want to live you go through this divorce you are like oh my god we're like let's take a sip of water you're like where's the tequila literally we should have been fucking drinking we should have been so you go through this divorce yeah you're finding yourself you're figuring your shit out yes ma'am how did know you were ready to date again? Oh, God.
Am I ready to date again? Looks like it. I don't know.
You know, listen, I think obviously he and I's healing journeys are different. I think I grieved a lot of the marriage in the marriage.
And so I think I to open back up and I don't I actually have no idea what his journey is right now but um I I've just felt why not yeah why not I've never really dated I don't know how it works I'm like well let's just put ourselves out there let's just vibe and um and it's it's been fun I love that too because I feel like and I get it like we just talked about like a bunch of like a relationship and divorce and then I'm like so what about dating it's been fun. I love that too because I feel like, and I get it.
Like we just talked about like a bunch of like a relationship and divorce.

And then I'm like, so what about dating?

It's like, you got to move on.

You have to move on.

Am I just supposed to stay here?

No.

Be sad forever?

Please don't.

Right?

You deserve better.

Yeah.

Are you single?

Am I single?

Am I single?

Gosh. um am i single god um no i just want to be so clear on caller daddy every time i ask someone if they're single if it's not an immediate yeah you didn't even have to say no no you're like um i know i know i know i know i go to the bathroom so you're dating chase stokes i'm just vibing okay well i want to say you guys are sweating you're like no comment okay can i ask you yes i agree anything yeah at this point we go way back j.
We saw the photo of you and Chase,

and now there's more photos of you and Chase.

What does it feel like, though, to have that be so public? And did you at all think about your ex

and what he would think when he saw those photos?

No.

No.

Well, no, because I'm not married to him anymore anymore and i don't need to care about his feelings anymore right and i mean that with all the respect in the world but his journey is not mine anymore um and so i hope that he is protected from whatever he needs to be protected from seeing i hope he has people in his life that help him do that that is not my job how did you that's gonna be a hot take and i'm gonna get picked apart for that what are you supposed to do not do stuff because an ex is gonna see it and i'm not exploiting what i know what i am or am not doing um well you're about to right now oh yeah i'm just kidding i'm just kidding um um yeah no i could because i do want to be respectful and um and also it's it's, it's new. Everything's new for me.

Um, dating, um, being photographed with someone, like it's all really new and I'm tiptoeing and I'm, I'm like happy and I'm really relearning a lot about myself and how I show up in a relationship and how I show up for myself. And, um, and it's been like a really beautiful re-awakening, I guess.

I love how you're trying to fluff around I'm about to come right back in how did you guys meet I slid into his dms I fucking love when people slide into dms what did you say well I was just like I'm not gonna get on an app and I I and honestly you know he shoots in Charleston. And my manager lives there.

And he, like, put the bug in my ear.

He was like, you know who's really cute?

Like, when you're ready, it's Chase.

And I was like, you're so right.

And I've never seen the show.

But I just knew of him.

And yeah, so I followed him.

And he followed me.

And I just swan dove right on in.

You have to not maybe give us the exact,

but give us an idea of, like, what the fuck

are you siding in with? His handle is HiChaseSt and i said high chase stokes oh wow and then he immediately answered you guys kind of look at you we're manifesting baby okay so now that you're kind of in a now a new relationship how are you in your head are you letting yourself just go for it are you being mindful about like do you have a certain different way about going into a relationship now with what you've learned in your past for sure chair oh I just I feel I feel like because I'm in I think I'm finally an adult I think that just happened over the last couple of years and i feel

like what that means to me is like i have opinions i have a career that is a priority for me to show up for myself and the people that i've aligned with along this journey um and um i have aspirations and goals that are tied to no one and those are all really important things i shit together. You know what I mean? And for me to share that with anyone is a gift.
And I want to be with someone that feels the same way about their life. And I want it to feel even that middle ground that I'm so bad at.
I'm eager to find it. Okay, you have to just give us a little insight of like going on a date with someone and then a photo of them just being like all over the internet what do the two of you say when that should happen like when you're sitting in your apartment or you're with him you're in your house where the fuck are you what are you guys saying when that comes out wherever you are what is happening when that comes out well he he kind of full sent it a little bit um so basically we had been hanging out and people got a photo of us um at the game at the championship and so that was kind of just going and he was like i mean it's gonna keep going so should i just like poke the bear and i was like sure and the poking the bear was like a photo of me just like leaning on him.
How long had you guys been together before that photo leaked? I mean, we weren't even together is like so relative. I don't even really know.
We had been talking for since the beginning of December. OK.
So you were just like, we're just going for it. You're having fun.

I'm having fun.

What is your mentality now around marriage, getting married again?

Would you ever do it?

How do you feel about it?

Anytime I've said a hard no to something,

I've come back later in my life and challenged it. So right now I would say I don't think I will get married again.

I love the idea, again, of of partnership I'm a relationship bitch but I I don't know if I believe in like the legality of it all anymore and I think if you want to be with someone it should be a daily choice I am also just fresh out of like a that was like a brutal moment so um subject to change right you're like alimony the house you're like marriage is a full estate I get it I get it what would you say to someone right now in this moment that's listening watching and is going through heartbreak oh um I would say be proud of how you're gonna handle it in 10 years I would say only way out is through and I would say like tequila so much tequila I love you you're like so much tequila it gets you right it's gonna be alright what would you say to 22 year old Kelsey right now in the seat where you're sitting oh my god oh what would i tell myself at 22 you are going to learn that pissing people off is okay and actually it's necessary you are going to learn that you can be a good person and not good for somebody you are going to learn that um your circle needs to shrink a little bit

and that's gonna hurt and that's gonna be awesome and you're gonna learn that 29 is gonna look a

hell of a lot different than you thought it would and so far so good kelsey ballerini thank you so much for coming and call her daddy thank you so much alex what are some of your favorite brands mother barley z Barley, Z Supply, ours too.

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