How To Survive Wedding Season

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Daddy gang, welcome back to another Sunday session of Call Her Daddy.

It is currently the middle of summer, even though I'm wearing a full sweatsuit.

The air conditioning is on, don't worry.

But I realize that we are deep, deep, deep in the trenches of wedding season.

Okay.

And I don't know about you guys, but I personally feel like my entire TikTok feed right now is

finally Love Island is over.

and now people are arguing over who should and who shouldn't get plus ones to a wedding.

And I first want to start off by saying I totally get it.

I personally planned a very, very small wedding last year, and I remember how stressful it was deciding who was going to make the cut.

Sunday morning, fat this Cautlin, doo doo doo doo doo do do do

every Sunday's

this day.

What the fuck?

That was pretty good, right?

Everyone's situation is different, so I'm not here to tell brides what they should do.

It is your wedding.

It is your rules, but

what I want to do today is just have a little conversation with my single girlies, okay?

Especially the ones who I realize could either be spiraling over not getting a plus one,

or you could be someone who did get a plus one and you don't have a boyfriend and you're scrambling to try to figure out who the fuck you should bring to these weddings this summer.

Okay.

So first, I just want to validate you and say I completely get it.

I know personally firsthand that going to a wedding alone when you're single, it can feel

extremely intimidating.

Like

you start going through, you know, are you going to feel awkward?

Who are you going to be stuck sitting next to?

Who are you going to dance with?

Who will you turn to when everyone else is in conversation with their partner?

Like

that anxiety is so real and I have been there.

But

here is what I just want to emphasize.

I don't want you to end up bringing some guy that you are hooking up with, but you aren't even dating as your plus one just because you're too nervous to go alone.

Okay.

Daddy Daddy gang, I know it's tempting.

I know, I fucking know it's tempting, but hear me out.

Bringing a guy to a wedding as your date is not fucking casual.

It is not casual.

I know a lot of people may disagree with me.

So let me explain myself before you all come for me.

Whether it is a guy you met on Hinge that you've gone out with twice or it is your full-blown situationship from the last three, four, five months.

Weddings, in my opinion, simply are just not casual.

Weddings are intimate.

They are extremely emotional.

People are crying over these beautiful toasts about soulmates and grandparents are slow dancing.

And then suddenly you're four fucking champagnes deep staring at your hookup and you're like, oh my God.

Q, what is the Hannah Montana?

He could be the one.

He could be the one.

You start to fantasize this man.

Like, should I settle down with him?

You know, what would his vows be to me?

Would he also cry when I'm walking down the aisle?

Like, what kind of suit would he wear?

And who would be his best man?

Oh, wait, I don't even know his friends.

I don't even know his friends.

You know what I mean?

But understandably, in those moments, you're starting to think about all these things because in this environment, that's what these things do, right?

Meanwhile, even though you barely know him, you are not even probably compatible, but you're thinking this way.

Okay.

And Daddy Gang, I'm here today to tell you,

no,

just

it's going to be a no.

Okay.

In my opinion, bringing a casual date to a wedding can truly,

it can like actually warp your brain.

The energy of the night and this emotion-filled weekend or night can,

it can just create this false sense of connection.

You

understandably, again, I want to be empathetic here, but like understandably, you start projecting something serious onto someone who is really only good for a late night booty call or like a fun situationship, right?

I really don't want us to do that this summer because first of all,

These men do not deserve it.

When you go back home after that long weekend, this man, you're still wondering if he's going to call and text you and like you still are splitting the bill or you sometimes have picked up the bill.

Like it's not great.

And second of all,

I think it's also why I don't want you to do this is because you're not in the right headspace.

You're not in your right mind when you are at these weddings.

Okay.

The reality I want to snap all of you back into today is that

being single at a wedding does not need to be this scary and overwhelming thing.

A solo wedding adventure can actually be one of the most fun nights of your life if you do it right.

So today,

I want to give you guys my advice on how to go to a wedding alone and how to still enjoy yourself.

Here we go.

Okay, so first thing that comes to mind is you need to strategize wedding night friendships.

You need to essentially secure a few allies.

So if you're friends with a couple that is going together, immediately text them and just say, hey, guys, I'm a little anxious to go to this wedding alone.

Do you guys mind if I occasionally pop in and third wheel you at times throughout the night?

Chances are most couples will be glad to have someone new to chat with beyond just each other.

But again, please, for the love of fucking God, read the room.

You are not asking your friends who are a couple that are also going to be there, hey, can I bunk with you guys?

Can I, can I bunk in your fucking room on this nice weekend getaway that you guys are getting?

Like, no, no, no, no.

We are being self-aware that throughout the weekend, yes, we are going to let them dance to the slow songs together.

We're not doing a fucking three-way.

We're all holding hands and we're going to slow to the beat.

But then obviously, when the fun group songs come on, for sure, like get the fuck right in there and do the YMCA with these motherfuckers.

Like, they don't need to be solo dolo on that journey.

You can pop in.

But read the room.

You know what I mean?

Like, don't late night in their room and it's 2 a.m.

and they're literally like, all right, Jessica, we're trying to fuck read the room.

And I get some people may wonder like, okay, well, what then do I do during the slow dance?

Because I'm going to admit I'm not a stage five clinger, but at a wedding, maybe I am going to go slow dance with this couple.

Cause what the fuck else am I going to do, Alex?

You're going to go to the bar.

You're going to mix in a water maybe at this time, right?

Or you could get a tequila shot, wherever you're at on your journey.

You could go pee, right?

There's never a good time to go pee.

Now is a good time to go pee.

Um, you could take a couple selfies, quick selfies, cute little quick selfies that maybe you can wake up in the morning and be like, oh my god, I did get a couple pictures.

Although that is sad, I feel like, and I only got them by myself.

Maybe you don't ditch the selfies, ditch the cell phone in general.

No selfies, go pee or take it to Kila Shot.

Um, it'll be over before you know it.

Like, songs are so fucking quick.

And in my personal opinion, and I did this at my wedding, like we're rarely playing slow songs at weddings.

It's usually like the first dance and maybe they throw in one or two for the bride and the groom, but like no one wants to slow dance at a fucking wedding.

Now let's go to if you don't know anyone going or you really are just looking to hang with another single person that's going to be there.

My advice would be you are going to text the bride or the groom, whoever you're closest to, and you're going to see what other single girls are going to be at this wedding.

I'm also sure the bride would love that because she wants all of her girls to enjoy themselves.

And if she's like, oh my god, I was worried about Cassandra being single and I forgot that Mariah is single.

This is perfect.

Like she wants the vibes to be great too.

I actually had a friend who did this and ended up splitting a hotel room with another single girl who was going to the same destination wedding, but they had literally never met you guys.

And their mutual connection was being single and friends with the bride.

That was quite literally it.

And boom, it was a match made in heaven.

So I would ask the bride for the phone number of the one or two single girls who are going to be at this wedding and either shoot them a text or even you can just like DM them on Instagram.

And your message can be as simple as, hey, girl, so excited to meet you at so-and-so's wedding.

Do you know what dress you're wearing yet?

Full stop.

Like girls read the room.

Immediately that girl is going to be like, oh, she wants to be friends.

Thank fucking God she DM'd me because I was two seconds away from DMing her.

You don't have to become best friends, though.

I think that's a huge point too.

Like, but it's having an ally.

It's going to make you feel so much better going into the night or the weekend.

Like immediately all of your anxiety of like, who am I sitting next to, blah, blah, it kind of dissipates because you're like, at least I know the girl I'm going to be sitting at the bar with, the girl that I'm going to be getting ready with, the girl I may be splitting a room with.

Like immediately, check, check, check, anxiety goes from a 10 to like at least a seven.

In my opinion, you just need one person to anchor you, Daddy Yang.

Like that, I hope also brings the anxiety level down.

Like literally one person.

Honestly, if there's also no single people going, the bartender, the bartender can become your best friend.

Like who knows?

It's just one person.

And suddenly you are not the awkward girl standing alone in the corner.

My next piece of advice is

don't unintentionally isolate yourself from the other wedding guests.

And I know that sounds like obviously what the fuck, but hear me out.

What I kind of mean by that is like you need to fight the urge to hide on your phone.

Okay.

This isn't just at weddings.

This is all across the board, birthday parties,

fucking get-togethers, reunions, whatever it be.

Like fight the urge.

I acknowledge this might be one of the hardest pieces of advices to actually like implement that I'm giving you because I've done it myself.

The reality is our phones are our security blankets, right?

Like, especially when we're alone or we're out of place and we're like, oh my God, I look like a fucking loser.

I'm just sitting here.

What am I going to do?

Pulls out phone.

Daddy gang, I'm telling you, listen closely, okay?

When you're hunched over scrolling,

you look so fucking unapproachable.

Also, you look 10 times more unattractive because we don't know what we look like when we're on our phones, right?

We're kind of in our own world.

Everything is just not looking good when you're hunched over.

No one is going to come up to you and be like, hey, do you want to dance?

Hey, do you want to go get a drink?

Hey, my name is Barb.

Like no one is going to come up to you.

So you're going to miss out on meeting new people if you are attached to your phone.

So force yourself to put it down.

And I promise that you can survive one to two hours without checking your fucking phone.

Guess what?

Newslash, no one liked your Instagram picture.

No one liked it.

How amazing?

Or even 10 people liked it.

Don't care.

It can wait for later when you're alone in bed.

How about that?

How about that?

You're going to actually, well, we haven't gotten there yet.

Maybe you won't be alone in bed.

The point is fucking leave it.

Okay.

And then once you get past that point where you're like relinquishing all social media, all your phone, all that using it as a clush, it's going to get easier.

You're going to look around.

You're going to fucking smile.

You're going to make eye contact.

And you are going to try to strike up conversations.

In my opinion,

Weddings are the easiest fucking place to make small talk.

Even if you are like dreading it, I understand small talk is not something that I'm like, I can't wait to fucking small talk.

But everyone is connected to the couple somehow.

Like you have instant common ground that at a lot of situations in adulting, you don't have that.

Like networking actually punched me in the head.

Like this is so much easier common ground.

The easiest conversation starter is like, are you on the bride side or the groom side?

Like how do you know them?

How did you meet them?

Oh, did you meet in college?

Where did you go to college?

Like Like, it is fucking zinger after zinger, bitch.

Like, you're the most extroverted fucking cunt in the world at weddings because it's easy shit.

You could be the most unself-aware person and you can clock some great fucking questions, okay?

Use the married couple as a bridge to get the conversation flowing.

I think another way people accidentally isolate themselves is by not reading the room and matching the vibe of the wedding.

Okay, daddy gang, we've all been there, but

I know that when you're single and nervous, sometimes we think, wow, how can I alleviate this stress?

How can I alleviate this pain?

Let's take 10 shots, right?

Like it's a classic gateway.

And you think it's gonna make you feel more comfortable and it's gonna make you forget that you're alone, but it's not.

It's actually gonna make it a lot worse for you.

Not every wedding is supposed to be a rager.

If the wedding is chill, what are we gonna be?

We're gonna be chill.

We're going to have a couple glasses of wine.

Okay.

We're going to take it easy.

I get it.

It's easier said than done, but really, really, really big advice is try not to use alcohol as a crutch.

It's going to be really hard for someone to strike up a conversation with you if you are blackout drunk.

before the gorgeous, lovely couple has even cut the cake.

Like also, you don't want to be that person that wanted to show up for your friend and then you're getting blackout drunk and it's because of your anxiety.

And then you're like, oh my God, why did I do that to my friend?

Fuck, I hate myself.

Like, there is nothing worse.

How about this?

What's worse?

Feeling a little awkward in a room because you don't have a blackout.

You're not blackout.

Or you wake up in the morning and you did get blackout and you ruin this person's entire wedding.

You know what I mean?

Like, we got to look at the pros and cons.

Probably better just feel a little awkward because you're not that fucking drunk.

So keep it together.

Match the energy of the room.

Put yourself out there and be open to meeting people.

Like everyone at a wedding is trying, everyone feels that way.

Let's keep it fucking real.

As someone who loved her wedding, weddings can fucking suck.

Like weddings, you're like, oh my God, I don't want to have to fucking talk to these people.

And it's small talk.

Everyone's feeling that way.

So they're just looking for an easy, nice conversation.

If you can be that point of contact, you are fucking in, daddy gang, which leads me to my next point.

If you are single at a wedding, you need to embrace the romantic chaos and lean the fuck in.

If there is a cute single man there,

daddy gang, from my lips to your brain, is that a thing?

I don't know.

You're gonna fucking go for it because who cares?

Who cares?

You probably will never see this guy again.

You've got an open bar.

You have a DJ playing fun music.

You're a little tipsy.

You look drop dead gorgeous.

Okay.

There are flowers.

There are candles.

You got to go for it.

Go make out with a stranger in the photo booth.

Right.

Like we're not holding back.

Go skinny dip in the fucking hotel pool.

I love that.

If I saw that at my wedding, I would have been like, yes, yes, yes.

You're doing all the right things.

Okay.

You are surrounded by a lot of people.

Sometimes people have the snooze fest weddings where it's like everyone's above fucking 60, but most of the time, you may be surrounded by some people that are actually your own age, single guys.

And this is the biggest fucking point of a wedding that's your friends.

These people are already vetted.

Think about that.

When you're at a bar with those little creeps, you see a fucking guy that could be cute.

Little do you know, he's a fucking grade A creep.

Okay.

He's going to ruin your life and you don't even know it.

These people are vetted.

There's accountability to be had.

If you meet this guy and he fucks your life up, guess whose fault it is?

The bride.

Okay.

So this all comes back around.

You have vetted men in a contained area.

You better take advantage of that opportunity at this wedding.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, if you go solo, you actually have to switch your mindset to anything can happen at these weddings as long as you're open to it.

As long as you're not hunched over, fucking mouth breathing on hinge while you have a platter of opportunity in front of you.

Okay.

As long as you're open to it, it can truly be the most amazing night ever.

So instead of dreading going to weddings this summer, daddy gang, we are going to lean in and we are going to enjoy ourselves by bringing a default situationship or a guy you met randomly and you're like, Do you want to come to this fucking wedding with me?

You're just complicating something that never was probably going to last in the first place.

And also, if you do have a situationship and you invite him to a wedding, you're so done.

Like, you're so, that man is gonna be like, oh my God, she's so fucking obsessed with me.

Like, how many times do I have to not call her back?

And now she's inviting me to a fucking wedding.

Like, read the room that he probably will like you more if he's like, Oh, where are you going this weekend?

You're like, oh, wedding.

And he's like, oh, wow.

So I guess we definitely are still a situation ship.

Like, this is a good opportunity for you to not bring those pieces of shit in closer to your personal life.

Okay.

Going single and meeting a guy at a wedding is 10 times better.

No strings attached, no conflicted emotions, no crying in the bathroom.

You will be setting yourself up for success if you take this playbook and you put it to work this summer.

So, daddy gang, I hope everyone is getting excited.

You're getting your hottest fucking dress, you're getting ready for whatever fucking wedding you were miserable that you had to go to.

And now you're like, okay, wait, maybe I'm going to meet someone.

And if I don't, I'm going to make some great fucking friends and I'm going to have a good fucking time.

So I cannot wait for you guys to write in.

Tell me all of your crazy wedding season hookup stories.

But for now, Daddy Gang,

I personally think it's time that we, you know, venture off.

We got a, we got to pivot a little bit.

We're going to, we're going to go to a land.

We're going to go to a land that is filled with baguettes and

wine and spritzes.

We're going first class.

Up in the sky, popping champagne.

Having the live on the fast line.

I won't change.

We're going to Paris.

Oh, the flousy, flousy to Paris.

Oh, the flousy, flousy in Paris.

We are going to a little place I personally like to go.

Questions

of the mother.

The mother.

The mother fucking week.

Questions of the motherfucking week.

That was like chill,

easy, no dog.

Guys, when you message me and you're like, Alex, my dog was jumping at the TV screen like there was a burglar entering our house.

Gets me every fucking time.

Questions of the motherfucking week, you guys.

Let's answer some of these burning questions.

I need to help you.

You know, you help me.

I help you, daddy.

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Number one.

Daddy, I need help.

My boyfriend of two years recently asked for a break, classic immature move.

During that break, I hooked up with a lifeguard and it was amazing.

Now, a few days later, he wants to get back together.

I want to get back with him, but should I tell him I slept with someone during the break or keep it to myself?

Much love.

Girl.

Okay,

before we talk about whether or not you should tell this man, I think that it's really important to acknowledge the fact that he is the one that put your relationship on a break.

So you said in your write-in, you said, like, this feels like it came from a place of like just pure immaturity.

So my question back to you is, why do you want to take him back?

Like, is he truly a really good partner or do you just want the comfort of having someone again?

Or even is it, is it like an ego thing?

Like, because he ended it with you, now you just want him back.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, it doesn't sound like he's ready to be in a full-term committed relationship.

And my initial worry for you is you kind of have no clarity on why he wanted to take a break and why he did what he did.

So that to me means he's probably going to do it again, babe.

Like this is not the last time.

Maybe the first, but definitely not the last.

Also, the fact that the break was only a few days is a major red flag to me.

This feels extremely impulsive and yes, immature, like you said.

Also, if you hooked up with someone else during this really short break, again, I think you need to ask yourself, do you really even like this person?

If I was

in love.

with someone and they blindsided me with a break.

Like I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and I'm thinking about when I was kind of of first, you know, pretty serious with Matt.

I don't think I could have even thought about getting back out there in 48 fucking hours.

I would be like on the bathroom floor crying and upset and trying to process all this.

So

I want to clarify, I'm not saying that you should feel guilty, but I do think it says something about

how you feel and the true depth of the relationship that currently stands.

So first piece of advice is I would ask you to really reevaluate how you feel about the relationship.

What doubts and concerns did you have before that break that maybe you weren't willing to look at?

Sometimes I feel like the person that puts the break or decides on the break or the breakup, like it feels like they have all the power because you're looking inward being like, what did I do wrong?

What did I do wrong?

And meanwhile, it's like, girl, do you even want to be in this anymore?

Now for whether or not you should tell him, I personally think you should without a doubt, 100% tell him.

The reason that you are able to so freely go and hook up with someone else is because of him.

He made the decision to go on a break with you.

So you're allowed to do whatever the fuck you wanted during this time.

And if he gets mad or breaks up with you over that, then there is your immediate answer and sign.

Like, you shouldn't be with someone like that, right?

You did nothing wrong.

In my opinion, breaks are so

messy, honestly.

And I think the only way a break could potentially work is if there is such a level of maturity and honesty and communication around said break.

And even still then, I think they're really difficult.

Most of the time, it's one person initiating the break.

And the only way I think it can again work is if they're doing it in a way that they're trying their hardest to respect you and your feelings.

Like, is the goal of the break to make you stronger or find something out that you both know you need to individually work on?

Like, this break literally fucking sounds, babe, and I hate to like kind of punch you in the face, but it literally sounds like he wanted to go play Xbox for a few days or like fuck a couple bitches.

And then he was like, okay, I'm good.

Decided to come back.

It sounds like this break was three days.

Like, that is unacceptable to its core.

And my final red flag, which I want to leave you with, is.

This is an indicator to me of how he's going to handle really important or tough conversations between the two of you for the rest of time if you have a relationship with this person.

This is not someone that's thoughtful.

This is not someone that is thinking about your feelings.

This is not even someone that's thinking about your future.

They're just kind of going with what feels right in the moment.

And I personally don't want someone like that for anyone in the daddy gang.

You need someone that's thoughtful.

So

to the daddy gang listening that maybe you haven't been asked to go on a break with your partner.

Maybe this doesn't exactly relate to you.

What I could say is for anyone listening, I hope what you can take from this is

sometimes when a partner does something that hurts us or upsets us, we understandably are so caught up in our emotions and our ego that we rarely pause and honestly evaluate, wait,

why is this person treating me this way?

Like we're so wrapped up in, oh my God, this person just broke up with me and I'm so embarrassed or I'm so hurt and I'm feeling all these things.

And you're understandably so trying to connect with the emotion of how it's making you feel.

But I don't think we often pause to be like, wait, wait, wait,

why would we want to be with someone that just did that to us?

Like even as far down to when you get cheated on, we're like, oh my God, what did I miss?

And how many times has this happened?

And I'm so embarrassed and I'm so upset.

And how am I going to tell my family?

And it's almost like the person's like sitting over here.

And it's like, wait, wait, wait, let's deal with all those emotions in a second.

Let's all collectively agree this person's a piece of shit.

Got it?

Okay, good.

Now handle the emotions.

So I just think we have to look at the bigger picture because most of the time in these little moments, they're telling us exactly how they are going to continue to treat us.

And we let things

kind of blur our vision and we let things distract us from the obvious answer directly in front of us.

So I hope that helps.

Okay, next question.

Hey, Alex, my best friends, one guy, one girl, started dating earlier this year.

Before they went from friends to lovers, we were all such close friends for literally a decade.

It was never weird for the guy and I to hang out one-on-one.

He is one of my closest guy friends.

Now that they're dating, my female friend will not allow me to hang out with her boyfriend without her, and she gets mad if we are even texting.

She said, if I can't follow her new boundaries, she will cut me off.

I feel so uncomfortable and trapped.

How do I handle this?

What the fuck?

Dude,

I don't like this.

I don't, ah, I don't like this at all.

Um,

whoa.

Okay, this sounds like you are dealing with a friend who is dealing with some major, major insecurities on her end.

The thing is, is like, you haven't changed anything, right?

You would all hang out individually and in a group, and you are moving the same way that you have for over a decade, a decade.

So,

my hope is that she settles into the relationship, and these boundaries that she's putting up will loosen.

But right now, it is putting you in a really tough position.

And I can acknowledge for you: like, she is not being a good and thoughtful friend.

What I don't love is that she's throwing down all of these really strict rules without having a conversation with you to the point

where

it almost makes me feel like there is something

huge missing in this dynamic.

Like my personal brain goes to,

I feel like it's possible that this guy once had like a crush on you and said something to her about you that clearly stuck with her like a decade ago.

And now she's hyper aware and hyper insecure about how the two of you interact.

Meanwhile, you're completely oblivious to this.

Like clearly, you're literally like, guys,

what?

We're not doing Friday movie nights anymore.

Like what happened?

regardless, I don't think it's healthy how she's treating the situation, but I worry for you if you try to call her out for it.

She's probably just going to get so fucking defensive.

So, I want to protect you and want you to be careful about how you navigate this given her current headspace.

Um,

because even like if I pause for a minute and I think about coming from the perspective of as someone who does feel secure in their relationship, there is truly no better feeling than when my partner gets along with my best friends.

That's why I know there's something off with her because when you are secure in your relationship, it's like, oh my God, nothing makes me happier than when Lauren and Kristen get to hang out with Matt if I'm working and I'm like, oh my God, I come down and they're all like eating and having wine together.

And I'm like, this literally melts my heart.

So I think this is what I would do.

I think that you can ask to have a conversation with her about what this new trio dynamic looks like and you can make it clear, even though you're going to be like, oh, I hate this, but just fucking even lie, even if it's just a current lie.

Tell her how much you love them as a couple and that you are so, so happy for both of them and you are more than happy to be the third wheel in moments, but

point out to her like, but you did have your own friendship with her and him before this.

And now it feels like you are being punished for them starting to date.

Also, the toxic side of me can't help but think about this.

Like,

she

is inadvertently making your friendship with him awkward and tense now.

And, like, I feel like when people do that and she's creating this out of thin air, like, that's actually what would push you guys together to like have an affair.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, there was no forbidden fruit in your eyes.

And now you're like, wait, why can't I be alone with him?

And then all of a sudden, his like dick starts to look longer.

And you're like, maybe I do want to be alone with him.

Like, it, but she's creating this thing.

It's not you, it's her.

Um, I don't know.

At the end of the day, she's putting you in a position where you're being forced to choose between her and him, and that is irrational.

So, she should want her boyfriend to be close with her friends.

Also, I'm so curious.

Like, I wonder what he fucking thinks about this.

Like, do you even think he's aware of this?

Actually, this is what I just realized.

This is what you're going to do.

You're 100%, you're not having a like a solo conversation with her.

You're going to sit both of them down.

That's what you're going to do.

See, we we just need to talk through it.

As in, talk through it.

I just need to process this.

This is, oh, oh my God.

Wait, now I need you to like write the fuck back into me because this is what we're going to do.

Okay.

You're going to sit them both down and you're going to say something along the lines of, I'm making these fucking names up.

Okay, guys.

Shelly has made me aware that you guys are now uncomfortable with my friendship with you, Mark.

And I am both hurt and genuinely confused.

And I just want to have a really honest and open conversation.

I love you guys so much.

I am so happy for you guys that you found love and started dating.

And I don't want anything to change between the three of us.

You guys have been my best friends for over a decade, but I'm really just coming to you guys because like I literally don't.

I don't know what to do.

And like, I just wanted to hear from you guys, like, what do you guys propose?

I'm not not kidding you.

I think you coming to both of them and doing this, I think it's going to completely break open a different conversation and it's going to force everyone to put their cards on the table because I have been in enough situations in my life where I think the moment that you say this,

the guy is going to turn to your girlfriend and be like.

What is she talking about?

What do you mean that she and I can't hang out individually anymore?

I bet he has no fucking idea and when this goes down you are going to realize this has nothing to do with you like this has literally nothing to do with you this is your friend needs to work out something within herself and within her relationship but

you kind of can just sit back and then I swear to you you think this fucking dude is like yeah I can't hang out with her anymore I'm really uncomfortable no your friend is feeling uncomfortable and I bet the guy has no fucking idea

and I would say if you weren't friends with the guy, obviously you would never ambush your friend like this, but this is your friend group.

You guys have always hung out alone.

What the fuck is the difference now?

Because she's being insecure.

Well, she needs to get the fuck over it because you're not trying to fuck her boyfriend until she pushes you far enough.

Then maybe you will.

No, I'm just kidding.

No, I'm really sorry overall because

When a friend is projecting insecurities onto another friend, it's so hard to not take it personally and it's hard to get to that person and try to get them to understand, like, you're not a threat.

You love them.

Clearly, this is something they're going through and you're just like collateral damage.

But I would say, Daddy Gang, at a certain point, you do also have to set boundaries for yourself and you have to stand up for yourself and you can't keep taking shit.

Also.

Again, if you're not in a trio, I do think also another takeaway that's just more relatable for people is this.

Like, I feel like as uncomfortable as direct conversations can be, it it is the absolute best way to work through difficult moments because even if there is an initial blow up,

you will never regret being honest and upfront in a situation, especially when it's coming from a place where you genuinely want to find a resolution.

And then, of course, it's on the other person if they can meet you in the middle and you can work through it.

Like if they freak out, if they lash out on you, then you probably weren't meant to be in a relationship with someone that's that insecure and that's that unwilling to see both sides and empathize with you.

So

you're going to get your answer, even if it's the one that you don't want, but in the long run, you'll realize it was for the best.

I'm sorry.

That's really fucking shitty.

I hate

getting friendship questions because it's just so fucking sticky and it's, there's so many dynamics at play, but I'm hoping that could help.

Okay.

Question three.

Hi, daddy.

I really want to focus on my health and fitness this year, but I'm single and feel like the only way to meet guys is by going out drinking at bars.

The problem is drinking always leads to drunk pizza and hangover binges and always wake up feeling like shit on Mondays after a weekend full of going out.

I can't seem to break the cycle.

How do I balance my health goals with my social life?

Girl.

We would have been friends when I lived in New York City because I feel like this was, it was like a ticking time bomb.

I was like, there will be celery and broccoli on my plate.

Oh, it's Sunday.

Now I'm back to fucking eating Chick-fil-A because I'm so fucking hungover.

Why can I not win?

Listen, I remember this in my early 20s, being in these spirals.

You try all week to be healthy.

You try to hit your goals.

You try to self, set yourself up for success.

Weekend comes, bender, you've never felt shittier.

I get it.

So the first thing I want to say here is like, it does make total sense that you want to go out to bars on the weekend, but I think we almost need to like reprogram our brains that the wildest night out is not the type of night that will lead to you meeting a potential partner.

And that I wish someone would have said to me back in my single New York days, I would go to certain clubs, shout out, you know, Marquis, shout out One Oak, all these places, PhD rooftop, okay?

I would go to certain clubs.

There was literally no way that I was going to meet a serious relationship there, but what drove me to go every single time was just because FOMO, all my friends were going, everyone's hammered.

Even if you're in a relationship, sometimes people are going because it's like the DJ's playing, no one's talking, you're supposed to go, right?

And you're like, why do I feel like shit when I get home and even more lonely?

It's because you got no actual fulfillment within it.

You didn't get any good conversations.

Nothing stimulating happened.

And a lot of times, if you're in these like bar club situations, a lot of times you are just connecting off of genuine first base attraction.

It's not a foundation though that you're like looking to build a relationship with.

You probably don't even know what this fucking guy's first name is if you're going home with him because you couldn't even talk to him in a club.

So I actually think it is the chiller type of nights and events where drinking is less the focus, where you're actually going to be able to meet someone.

And I know that sounds really fucking straightforward, but for some reason, we keep doing this to ourselves.

And by ourselves, I did it my whole fucking 20s.

I'm like, why am I not meeting someone?

And it's literally like, babe, everyone's taking Jaeger bomb shots, and then we're all blackout.

Like, no, you're not going to, even if you met the love of your life, you wouldn't know it because you wouldn't remember in the morning.

Okay.

So, I think it's looking for more of like the networking drinks drinks or like apartment warming parties or house warming parties or baby showers or like friend family dinners like even going out for happy hour drinks on weeknights like i think sometimes we don't have to live for friday saturday it's like what about a nice wednesday you're going to a happy hour you're having two drinks the vibe is just automatically chiller in these type of settings and A lot of times if you go to a happy hour during the week, like people are still in their work clothes.

They're not trying to fucking funnel 12 beers that night, right?

So

even though it may not sound as exciting to potentially meet someone at your local coffee shop, I do think that that's actually going to be where you get the outcome that you want.

So it may not look as cool on social media, but that's okay.

We have to stop giving a fuck about social media, you guys, okay?

I don't think when you're writing this in, and I know a lot of people struggle with this, the best point I think I could make is like, you do not need to re-haul your whole life and stop going out.

I think a huge misconception we think to ourselves is like, it has to be one extreme or the other.

We're either coffee date girls or we're raging whores in the club.

Like, no, we can find balance.

But I think it's making small changes within your current cycle that will help you a lot.

This may sound counterintuitive, but this is just something that I have found that has worked for myself.

And it may not work for everyone.

Maybe don't be so restrictive on yourself during the weekdays because then that may make you almost feel like you're using the weekends as a complete escape where you're just going balls to the wall.

Like if you can find a little bit more balance during the week, it will go a long way.

Also, I would ask yourself, are you going out on the weekends because you're actually thinking you're going to meet a guy or because you're just bored and lonely during the week?

Like restructure your week so that you aren't waiting for the weekend and putting so much pressure to have these insane weekends that you're like daydreaming about at your desk.

And then you get to the bar on Friday night and you're like, let's fucking go.

And you're like alter ego comes out.

It's like, no, no, no, no.

Try workout classes with friends or like sober dinners with your girls.

Like try to mix things in during the week so that your weekend isn't actually like all hell is breaking loose.

And then my final piece of advice is.

If you do go to these clubs or bars, you do not need to get fucked up.

And there is something really fun and comforting when when you do connect with someone who is on the same level as you in these environments.

Like imagine this, okay?

Imagine this.

You go to the bar that you always go to, but you decide, you know what, I'm going to have two to three drinks instead of six drinks.

And therefore, you are coherent enough to suss out the guy who is also on your level.

And you're actually able to have a real conversation to the point where he may be like, hey, there's like a wine bar down the street.

Do you want to go somewhere like a little quieter?

Yeah, fuck me.

Like that is the type of shit that's going to come to you more if you put yourself in these positions.

The biggest point is you need to be in the first place acting the way you would want to be attracting people.

So blackout you is not going to find Mr.

Husband right.

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question

four

okay

daddy help the guy i'm hooking up with has one of those bathrooms that is attached to his bedroom and the door doesn't go all the way down to the floor so you can completely hear anything in the bathroom from his room i literally can't get myself to use the bathroom because i'm so self-conscious about him hearing me i just found out i have a u ti so i know i need to get over this and start peeing after sex what the fuck do i do

first of of all, who the fuck designed these bathrooms?

And whoever did, because I've dated someone with that kind of bathroom, needs to go to jail.

Why are we making bathroom doors that aren't fully closing?

Also that have like a full fucking six inches just left uncovered.

Um

I'm so sorry.

I really can't imagine this.

I am picturing myself back in the day, whoever I was dating, and it was just the worst.

It's also like, do you guys, have you guys ever stayed in one of those hotels where the toilet is like literally for some reason in the fucking middle of the bedroom?

Basically, like they are trying to fuck women over on purpose in every aspect of life, but this one also specifically.

Here's the thing: at the end of the day, you either need to stop fucking this man or you need to accept that he's going to have to hear you pee.

And to the woman that's writing this in, like, I thought you were going to say, like, you have IBS.

Like, I really thought, girl, you were going to be like, oh my God, I am ready to blow out his bathroom, but he can hear me.

Girl, Girl, a little tinky winky,

bitch, you gotta just get the fuck in there and pee.

Like every man I think I've ever fucked in my life, I've always been like, oh my God, I need to pee so I don't get a UTI.

And I like run to the bathroom immediately.

I feel like that's like, one, we need to educate these fucking idiots, you know?

They probably don't even know what a UTI is.

Or if they do, that's also a red flag.

How many bitches is he with?

But there's a lot of things here that you can learn about a man, right?

Like if he's like, no man is gonna be like, ew.

Maybe if you were like, hold on, I gotta go take a big dump.

But for the most part, if you're just saying you have to pee after sex girl this is very very straightforward like you're not dealing with having to fart or poop it's just a classic pee you've got this um it is human nature also i think something that i used to do when i was dating guys and like dealing with those like beginning day awkward moments is you just have to use humor like i feel like every single situation i ever got myself into where I was like, how do I handle this?

You just meet it with humor.

I feel like the next time that you fuck, you can literally get up immediately.

You're going to rip the bandaid off.

You're going to lean into the humor.

You're going to walk up.

You're going to touch the door and you're going to turn to me and be like, this door is going to be the death of me.

Are you, I hate that you can just like hear me peeing and he's going to be like, babe, I don't care.

And you're going to be like, okay, but I get so pee shy.

Can you like set the scene for me, be a gentleman and like.

turn your favorite song on.

Let me like blast the music.

Then he's going to put some music on.

Then you're going to turn the sync on.

And then you're going to, like, turn on the fucking TikToks.

And guess what?

If he thinks you're shitting, it's okay.

Cause then you're going to open that door and it's not going to smell like shit.

Okay.

So it's going to be okay.

I just think sometimes we are in our heads and men, listen, this man has potentially had his fucking face in your asshole.

This man was eating your ass 30 seconds ago.

This man was deep in your vagina juice.

Like a little pee isn't going to hurt anyone.

You know what I mean?

So you're in your head too much.

You just have to remember men are disgusting.

They're disgusting.

So this is like the least of your worries.

Love you.

Hi, daddy.

I need advice.

I posted about my dog passing away on my Instagram story, but none of my closest friends reach out to offer condolences.

Meanwhile, people I'm not very close with sent me messages of support.

My best friend sent me a simple text, but they never followed up again.

Am I wrong to feel hurt by this?

I know it's just social media and some might not understand the bond between a person and their pet, but still it stings.

Am I being too sensitive?

Oh,

okay,

there's a lot going on in my brain right now for you.

First of all,

no, you're totally valid for like feeling like, oh my god, guys, like my beloved Gigi just died.

Like,

can you like send a girl some cupcakes?

But here's the thing: let's Let's address that

Anyone, how about this?

Let's pause on your dead dog.

We'll get back to her.

Anyone that posts something on social media and is hoping for their friends to, or anyone to take the social media post and then reach out to them,

it's almost like you're being passive aggressive.

If you want support from your friends, send a text in the group chat and be like, hey guys, I'm really struggling with Fidge's.

What was his name?

Fidgeys?

Fidge's?

Gigi.

I'm really struggling.

Figgy's death.

Figgy sounds better than Gigi sounds like a grandmother.

Let's go with Figgy.

Figgy?

Figgy.

I'm really struggling with Figgy's death and I know you're not all dog people, but like I'm really upset.

Like, could we do like a girls night sometime this week?

Like, I just, I'm like feeling so emotional.

Boom.

Now, if your friends don't fucking answer that group chat, jail.

Like, what the fuck, you guys?

Maybe you're cat people, maybe you're lizard people, maybe you're not pet people at all, but like, if your girl is reaching out, even if you roll your eyes and you're like, okay, it's just a fucking dog.

And we have to remember, sometimes people aren't pet people.

So they may not understand the gravity of how hard and painful that experience is of losing an animal.

But you have to set them up.

Let's keep it real.

Sometimes I'm fucking scrolling and I'm scrolling past a black and white photo thinking it was an aesthetic photo and it was a fucking obituary and like I don't even know this shit because we're not focused when we're scrolling, you know?

So it's a little bit on you to be like, you can't expect friends to handle it right when you're just posting about it on social media.

And like, what was the post?

Like R.I.P.

GG Figgy, like missing you forever?

Or did you post like a sob story?

I don't know what it was.

So let's just like give them some grace there.

Number two, I have a hard truth that I made to hit you with.

So

as a dog mother myself of two gorgeous, brilliant individuals, they are literally the most incredible dogs in the world.

I recognize that a lot of people don't, one, care about animals as much as I do now.

Fuck, when I didn't have dogs, I was shitting on people for posting about their dogs.

I'm like, no one cares about your fucking dog.

And now I'm like, do you see Henry's new haircut?

Like, this is literally national news.

It's just all perspective.

My worry for you, though, is like all of my friends know how much I care about Henry and Bruce.

And so, God forbid, knock on wood, something ever happened to one of them.

I know my friends would reach out because they know how much I care about them.

My worry is that maybe

Gigi

was kind of not the best,

vibe-wise, to your friends, to your friends, to you,

companion, confidant, lifelong bestie, like totally.

But sometimes people are a little unself-aware with their dogs.

And I can own that.

Like, I have a lot of friends that aren't dog people.

So when they come over, I'm immediately like keeping Henry and Bruce in a different room.

I'm not letting them jump up on them.

Like, people don't like your fucking dog sometimes.

And I worry that maybe Gigi was fucking humping their leg.

And you're like, that's just my Gigi.

And it's like, no, it's not your Gigi.

That's an annoying fucking dog that I want to punt across the room.

Not actually, but you know what I mean?

Like you have to be self-aware.

So if all of your friends are kind of ghosting you on this Gigi death, I worry maybe you kind of lost the plot and your love for Gigi

got a little too big and clouded that you didn't realize that Gigi was taking pisses on your fucking friends, new Gucci loafers, and you never even apologized or offered to go half-seas with her to buy a new pair.

It's just a little, it could be a lack of self-awareness or you have the worst fucking friends in the world, but something's missing here because i know shout out one of my friends you know who you are hates dogs hates dogs and like but she would text me so either you're not self-aware or you have shit friends but at the end of the day uh your friends are supposed to support you and help you during the hard times in life and to be going through something challenging and not feel cared about is fucking horrible so i am sorry and like jokes aside um i'm really fucking sorry but i have a hard time believing a whole group of people are like evil So I do think you need to look inward.

One,

have you been there for them always when they're going through hard times?

Was your post about, you know, Figgy just like kind of a nothing burger where they're like, I don't know what to say to her.

I don't know.

But I worry that maybe your dog was a little bit of a rascal and maybe they're all like.

Now I can go to her house and like, I'm not going to get fucking humped every five seconds.

This is bad.

This is bad, though.

I just want you to know I'm on your your team.

But I'm just trying to think if someone didn't reach out to me with Henry and Bruce, I would be like, oh, you're dead to me.

But like, did Bruce ever

do something inappropriate to them?

You know what I mean?

We just have to take accountability where accountability is needed.

And that's that.

But yeah, overall, people, just with dogs and animals and pets in general, not everyone is pet people.

And I know that firsthand.

So act accordingly.

But I'm so sorry about your dog's death.

And that's really fucking hard.

I think you should send a group chat text.

And if they don't answer you, you know what you need to do you need to apologize no just kidding you're like by the way no no no no no no they'll they'll come to their senses um okay daddy gang i think that this was a very very

hopefully helpful episode i'm still thinking about that girl with shelly and mark those literally aren't the names of the people but i'm thinking about you with your friend group of a decade and this motherfucker icing you out from talking to your guy best friend yeah you got to follow up and tell me if you have that three-way convo because i'm telling you, your friend is going to shit her pants.

She's going to fucking shit her pants.

I'm really happy that Sunday sessions are back.

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Okay, love you guys.

I will see you fuckers next Sunday.

Bye.

Peace, love.

Gigi.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

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You guys, this is the new way to do it.

Try the new Tinder double date, explore all the possibilities.

Tinder, it starts with a swipe.

Download Tinder today.

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