Huda: Love Island Tell All

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What is up, daddy gang?

It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Huda, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Thank you.

How are you feeling?

I'm feeling like really excited.

I'm overwhelmed as fuck.

Overwhelmed in like a good way and like in multiple ways.

Like, I'm not even like sitting here and I'm like, I'm overwhelmed.

Like, I can't do it.

It's like an overwhelming, like, it's just, I'm taking everything in all at once.

I think anyone would.

Can you explain a little bit, like, what have the past 48 hours since leaving the villa been like for you?

I think, really, like, right now, I'm just trying to make sure that everything like is good with the people that I'm really close with and that I hold dear to my heart because I'm like my daughter, like my family.

Like, those are the people that I've checked on this entire time.

Like, I haven't texted anybody back at all.

How many texts do you have?

So many.

So many.

Hundreds.

I

haven't.

Like the only other person I've called is my best friend.

Okay.

That's it.

Throughout the season, you were one of, if not without a doubt, the most polarizing person on the show.

People either absolutely adore, love you, or there are people that like, it actually feels like hate you and like do not fuck with you at all.

Yeah.

Why do you think that this is the case?

I think that honestly, I think perception is everything.

And I feel like not all the time things are shown in the way that they are

like perceived on TV.

And I mean, I know who I am as a person.

I think that's what really matters.

I feel like...

If people are hating on me, okay, fuck you.

Like, like, I don't give a fuck.

Like, why does it matter?

As long as the people that I love are close to me and like that care about me and they, you know, see me for who I actually am.

Like, that's truly what matters to me.

And I'm very, very, very blessed to have so many people that do love me and support me because I feel like the good outweighs the bad in all honesty.

And yeah, I just, I try to pay the hate, like, no mind.

To be honest, like, you don't know me.

You don't know me at all.

I was going to ask you, like, now that you have had your phone back and have gotten maybe like a brief second in between, like, no sleep.

I was going to say, no sleep club, another club.

You have a good idea.

Girl, I haven't.

I am not.

I'm not outside.

I'm not.

You're sitting.

Girl, I'm sat.

I'm sat you're like this with your sunglasses the meme of no dad is sitting no you're not moving you're not moving but I was gonna ask like now that you've gotten to maybe see a couple of like your mentions like what comments have been like negatively the most shocking to you

oh fuck I really don't pay that shit no mind um

One the craziest thing I've heard is that people called CPS on me.

I was like, are you so serious right now?

First of all, my daughter's dad was fully aware of what I was doing.

He was fully okay with it.

He signed consent.

Like, we're like, we had that conversation.

We're fine.

Me going on a show does not make me a bad person.

You know how many mothers are, you know, doing tours around the world who are doing all these things and they can't see their kids.

It's like,

it doesn't make you a bad mom to do something for yourself in that way at all.

Yep.

Thank you.

And I'm just like,

I don't understand it because it's just like, you guys just have nothing better to do at this point.

And,

you know, I know that I'm a good mom.

I'm with my daughter 24-7.

Me and her dad are, me and her dad are, me and her dad, we split custody.

So like I have her Monday, Sunday through Fridays.

And then he has her the days that I don't have her.

And so I have her majority of the time.

I'm with her 24-7.

Like I do the pickups, drops offs at school.

I pack her lunches.

You know, I'm there to give her a pep talk of the kids being mean to her in class.

Like I'm there for her throat and throat.

She tells me about the boys she likes.

Like we do the hee hee ha ha like we get we put perfume on in the mornings together we brush our teeth in the same sink even though i have a double sink she presses it in my sink with me every morning i do her hair every morning we do outfits together in the morning like all that stuff anytime i put a dress on she's like you look so beautiful mommy like she she's my hype woman someone says something mean to me she's like don't talk to my mom like that mind you she's forward dude i mean i have questions like later on that i want to talk to you about because that was like a point people were talking about is like you and your family and all of it.

But like, I can imagine coming out of the villa and just as a human being, but most importantly, as a mother, understandably, immediately your gut reaction is to address that because, like, that's your blood, that's your daughter.

Yeah, anything.

Yeah.

My the only thing I was worried about as soon as I walked out of that villa was my daughter.

Yeah.

That is the main thing I wanted to address.

I could care less about hatred from people, I care more about her safety and if she's okay.

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Okay.

There has been so much conversation about your character, how you treated other islanders, whether or not your behavior was toxic.

And we are going to get into all of it tonight.

But I think, in order to have like an actual productive conversation, I want to get to know you a little bit better before we get to your Love Island days.

So let's go back.

I want to talk to you about your childhood.

What was it like in your house growing up?

So growing up,

so my parents, they immigrated to America and got their citizenship.

And my dad, he had his own business and my mother, she was a teacher.

And,

you know, we didn't, we didn't, we weren't like fortunate as kids.

Like we, my mother and father had five kids.

So it's like, and they immigrated here with no family, nothing.

So I wasn't raised with money.

I wasn't raised with, we played with sticks outside.

We didn't have phones till we were like 16, 17.

Like,

you know, know, I'm not, I'm not a, what is it, privileged child.

I was never that.

And growing up, my, my dad was extremely abusive.

He was very abusive, like, towards my mother, towards me and my siblings.

Like a vivid memory I have as a kid is like, I don't, like, I don't even know how old I was, but I remember hearing my dad like beating the shit out of my mom in the room.

And I remember like finally, like, I think someone got the door open.

And I just remember seeing my mom's face, like, her glasses were broken.

And then I just see him snatch her head back and slam the door.

Like, that's, I'm going to cry.

Like, that's, that's literally like my, that was my childhood.

Can I have a tissue?

There's a tissue.

I got you.

Damn, we just started, Alex.

Um, hold on, I'm a second.

Ugh, you're good.

I'm definitely about to start my period.

Like, there's no fucking way I'm not.

I'm on mine, so we'll just fucking cry together.

Alex, you're making me sink with you should I stuff this much yeah yeah just put it there okay so whoo um

but yeah so I grew up in an extremely abusive household not needless to say like I did have a fun childhood though I think me and my siblings were extremely close in the midst of the chaos like we were very very close my sister she would get us away from all that she would like take us on little we call it the dinosaur trail and it was like this dirt road because they were doing construction sometimes you would see like deer tracks and whatnot and like sometimes she would do things to make it look cooler to make us think there were dinosaurs and stuff like that's like the things we would have fun with we'd go in the creek and we'd play in the creek like we we would do all these things as kids we and of the five kids where were you in the lineup i'm the youngest i even in like writing this interview like i had no fucking idea yeah about anything about you because there's not anything really on the internet about your life

either

no that you didn't talk about any of this on the show.

Oh, that's crazy.

When you're talking about your dynamic with your parents and specifically your father being abusive, being the youngest, because I can imagine you're talking about your sister kind of like being the one that's getting you guys out of the house, but how do you think being the youngest in an abusive household impacted your personal development?

I think I was a lot more persuasive being a lot younger.

So I was a lot more persuasive in terms of like

giving me sweets and like buying me things and, you know, doing things towards me and hurting me and then saying, oh, here's this or like doing things and, you know, saying you know i'll go take you here if you know if you know whatever

and that happened to me a lot as a child as well like and then at one point you know when my parents separated i was in like the fourth grade i believe and my mom i remember when my dad was at work we packed up everything and we left and my mom she got it we lived in like this two-bed one bath apartment that was like i think it's like $600 rent i'm pretty sure um no washer and dryer we would go to the laundromat.

Like

me and all my sisters were in a room.

My brother was in his own room.

My mom slept on the couch.

It wasn't even a couch.

It was a, when you know those outdoor like futon things?

Yeah.

Outdoor like futon things.

Yeah.

And they have like the wooden

railing things on them.

And then like, it's like just a cushion.

That's what my mom would sleep on every single night because she didn't want to take a bedroom.

What was the breaking point for her to get you guys out?

I'm not 100% sure exactly what her breaking point was.

I think maybe it possibly could be her support system on the people on the outside that saw this happening.

Do you have a relationship with your father?

Do you speak to him?

I haven't talked to my dad in eight years.

Yeah, I saw talking to him when I was 16.

There's a really valid reason as to why I'm not speaking to him.

My dad was, there was a lot of times where I was alone with my dad, and there's things that my family doesn't believe me about.

Huda.

Tissue.

Damn, girl, you got me crying on the show.

I know that friggin' period is coming and it's on its way to us very soon.

Period or not, Huda, like this is some.

Girl, trust me, when I was with the psychologist, I like talked to her about all these things and I was just crying.

Because it's like you really vote when you talk about it.

hold on, take your time.

So, anyway,

there's a lot of things that happen.

I don't want to go like too much into detail.

Um,

but I kept a lot of things to myself, and then there was a point where

I got really scared, and I remember calling my mom and just telling her, like, please pick me up.

Like, please pick me up.

And she's like, what's wrong?

like i can't i have to get you tomorrow like she was she was working like three four jobs this woman would not sleep she would sleep like three four hours and we would never really see her as much because she was working all the time we would eat frozen food and wendy's and

um

she's like i can't i kept like i was crying i was like please pick me up i would lock myself in the bathroom um my dad went in his office and was like working and I like tiptoed out when she was there and I like grabbed my things and I like tiptoed past his office and caught the door the floor would creak sometimes.

So I was so scared.

And so I tiptoed out and I like closed the door really quietly.

And I just told her, I was like, please go, please go, please go.

Like, I was like, please get out, like, get me out of here.

And to this day, like, I don't think anyone in my family believes anything that I say about that.

Why?

I have no idea.

Maybe it's hard to believe.

Yeah.

But

I

just accepted that I know

was going on.

And,

you know, I had listened to like podcasts about certain things leading up to a lot with my dad.

And it made me realize, like,

I don't want to say grooming, but like, there's a lot of things that were happening.

You know, I don't know.

My dad hasn't remarried at nothing.

Like, it's, it's, I have no idea the reasonings behind it.

So I never really had a father figure growing up in that way

at all.

What was school like for you during all of this?

I always got bullied

in school.

I think I always was just like unapologetically myself, and that didn't resonate with a lot of people.

Seems like a theme in your life that we're going to get to.

Trust me, there was a lot of things that triggered me in that villa.

I will be completely honest with you.

And things that I caught and was clocking and was told that I was being crazy.

But I don't know if anything was done on purpose to make me

act out in a way.

But

yeah, what was I saying?

Oh, I got bullied in school.

When I was in middle school, there was a point where like I wanted to take my own life.

I did not want to live anymore.

Girls, I remember I was friends with these girls and then like It was, I think it was like two of them I was friends with, two or three of them.

And one of them was a new girl.

And mind you, I was friends with the other girls.

We were all fine.

And then the new girl girl comes and she's like does modeling and she does all of these things and like you know i'm just this girl who loves to sing and

um

she and i she knew i i was like my dream i used to watch america's next hot model growing up like i wanted to model so bad growing up and you know i realized i was too short like i was like this is not gonna happen for me but I was always a dream of mine and like she knew that and she would kind of rub it in my face and be like oh you're not even pretty enough to be like you're not skinny enough you're not this I stopped eating for days at a time like I remember my math teacher she would literally be like how do you you need to eat like you need to eat something like i would never eat anything i was bulimic like i would literally chew food and then spit it into a trash can just to taste it because i thought i wasn't skinny enough and did any of your anyone in your life like like your mom or your older sister did anyone know you were going through this i didn't say anything and like these girls would push me into lockers throw food on me um specifically that one girl she would do that and other girls would just hee hee ha ha

um kids would harass me in school they would uh i remember this one kid who was on the football team and he would grab my ass he would like pin me against the wall in middle school um people would make racial comments about me um call me a terrorist this this stuff happened to me my childhood and

um

leading into like high school like i had always felt like i got left out of things throughout school.

Like in high school,

I remember people tried to start bullying me again.

I think at that point, you know, before that, I had begged God.

I was like, please, please, please, like, please, please get rid of these girls for me.

Please, like, make this easier for me.

Like, give me a fresh start, please.

Both of the girls, they moved away.

And

I had a chance at a fresh start.

And, you know, everyone in school like kind of knew what people were doing.

I mean, at least as far as I knew.

And

I remember someone tried to make a terrorist comment towards me in high school and I shut that shit down immediately.

I was like, I'm going to turn a new leaf and just nip it in the bud.

And I did.

I nip it in the bud and no one said anything about it again.

And I remember I was friends with these group of girls in school and I had always felt left out in things because my mom was really strict on me.

Like she wouldn't let me go to sleepovers.

She wouldn't let me go out.

Like she didn't even want me to go to like, I think we had the thing called like tea dance.

Like she didn't want me to do any of those things.

I had to beg her to go to prom.

And

like

when

I felt left out in things with those friend groups, because they would be like, oh, she can't even go anyway.

But it's like, just ask me if I can.

Like, like, just give me like a bundle

included yeah um i didn't have a phone either and then i finally got a phone like they kind of like they made me get instagram they're like you need to make an instagram you need to make instagram i'm like okay so i started doing instagram stuff and like i started gaining followers for like my singing videos and things like that it was like it was a fun moment for me but in turn people in school were like she's so full of herself she's so cocky like who does she think she is and

you know with that friend group that always left me out there was i think there was one point where i was sitting with them at the lunch table and I was just like, the girls were laughing about something and I really didn't find it funny.

I have a unique sense of humor, I feel like, like, and sometimes people don't understand it, but like, there's certain things I really don't find funny.

And, you know, I'm sitting there and these girls are like, hee hee, how, and, like, laughing.

And I'm just sitting there just like this straight face, just kind of like wondering, like, how that is even funny.

And they looked at me and they're just like, Huda, like, why are you not laughing?

Like, what is it?

And I was like, honestly,

I don't think any of you guys are really funny.

And I really don't want to be friends with you guys.

And I got up and I just walked away.

And since then, I would go into this dressing room thing that had little mirrors around it.

I would practice dance.

I used to be a dance captain.

I practiced hip-hop in there.

Was I the number one person in the world?

No, but I was still learning.

And

I would sing in there.

I did, like, I would practice my a cappella stuff in there.

I would practice, I was a theater kid.

I did a lot of musical theater.

Like, I practice all these things in there by myself.

Free period.

I'm going to that room and I'm practicing.

That's all I would do.

Just even like hearing you explain, I feel like at such a young age, you were getting it from every fucking angle and there was nowhere to go but rely on yourself.

Like you talking about

being in your household, looking at your mom, being physically abused, then it turning to you, being alone with your father in this moment where you're like scared for your life and you're trying to flee a situation that should be the only, the one place you do feel safe.

Then you go to school where maybe it's like, let's get some reprieve.

Maybe the kids at school can make me forget about my home life.

And then you're getting it from your school life and your peers.

And it's like, I can't help but think like, what that young version of you, how do you not put up this hard wall?

How do you not become this person that, like you just said, the minute they made a joke about you and they came at you and they tried to make a racial comment to make you feel less then?

One day you decide to be like, no, fuck that.

But how many days prior were you crying in the bathroom, sitting alone, crying about it?

Like, it's so sad to think about you develop mentally, how you had to turn from this like soft, loving girl to then like you needed to create this hard exterior, literally just to survive.

Like, what do you wish you could go back and tell yourself, like, sitting here right now with all this success in like the darkest moments of your life where you mentioned like it got to the point where you literally didn't want to be here anymore?

Fuck him.

Fuck him.

Like,

who gives a fuck?

Be yourself.

Do what you want to do in life.

And this is what I tell my daughter all the time like I'm like do what you want to do stop caring about what other people think um because there's times where kids will be mean to her and like and I'm just like

honey like you're so smart and you're beautiful and you know you're fun you're funny anyone would hate on somebody like that we all know that you are a mommy mama sita mama mama mama sita i became a child like you saw that where you like i died how is this the most viral thing I said?

I died.

I was like, this is the most viral thing I said is that I'm a mommy.

Like, in that, in, you know, it's funny.

Me and Nick, like, barely remember that conversation.

I just remember going into it.

I remember I was like, me and Nick were, we're very, like, goofy people.

And we don't take shit seriously in conversations when we talk.

And, you know, like, there's times where we try to be serious, but it always ends off on a funny note.

And in that conversation, I remember I wanted to bring it up to him, but because of the, of our nature and like the way we are, I was like, I can't sit here and be serious towards him, right?

Like, Nick, I have these things to tell you.

I'm so sorry, but like, this is so serious, and you're gonna fuck around.

I am a mother, and I really want you to understand.

Like, I didn't want to do that, I'd be like, Guess what?

Like, because that's how we are.

Me and him were goofy as shit.

But the point I was bringing that up for is: you are a mother, you have a daughter, a gorgeous daughter.

Thank you.

How did you meet her dad?

Um,

Tinder.

Stop.

Oh, my God.

You need to do like like your first brand deal.

Tinder, listen, it may not always work out, but you might have a fun time.

Um, like, literally, so we

uh, we met on there.

I remember I was like 18.

Okay, and I think this is the first time I ever moved out of my mother's house because I was just sick of being controlled at that time.

You know, everyone's rebellious.

You're getting control your whole life.

You're told you can't go on sleepovers.

You told you you can't do XYZ one, two, three.

It's like, finally, I'm 18.

I'm legally, I have freedom.

I can do whatever I want to do.

And I moved out.

Um, I was living with these two other girls, and I decided I was like, okay,

I'm gonna

talk to whoever I want to talk to.

I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna do this.

I had my fun when I was 18, and I think that's why I'm like not really big on like going out now.

Like, I feel like I did it, I did the thing that was enough, you know, the thing, yeah, I did it.

You did that, okay.

Wait, how would you describe your early stages of that relationship with him?

Um, we were very lovely, we got very lovely very fast.

Very lovely, Dovey.

Like, I really liked him a lot.

And for me, I always tell people, I'm like, you can always tell when I really like somebody and when I really don't.

You can always tell.

It's like zero to 100.

Like you can 100%.

I can't lie.

I cannot lie.

I know you told us you're sitting there with the girls and you're like, you're not funny.

No.

Literally.

I can't sit here and act like I like you when I don't.

I can't be fake.

Like if I sit here, I'm just like, oh my God, like, I love you

like i don't know i'm like can you just leave me the alone please like get away from me so you really really liked him i did i really really liked him off the jump like we were very very close very fast but in that um he did cheat on me you know and that doesn't make him a bad person he just made bad decisions okay wait before you got pregnant did you guys have conversations about like what you wanted your future to look like together um we obviously wanted to move in together the The goal was marriage.

Like, that was always a thing.

Like, we were very locked in with each other at that time.

We would always, I mean, a lot of the videos got out.

Like, we made so many cute videos together.

We'd go to the beach a million times together.

Can you take me to the moment when you found out that you were pregnant?

Bitch, girl.

I remember this was after he cheated on me when I was in Puerto Rico.

I was in Puerto Rico with my sister for the first time ever.

Okay.

First time ever on vacation with her, you know, first major vacation.

I was really excited.

It was a good time until it wasn't.

And then I remember, you know, I had his location.

And at this time, hell yeah.

When someone's cheating on you multiple times, you're going to get a little toxic and go a little crazy.

And I'm checking that man's location like nobody's business on this vacation because he cheated on me so many times.

But I was naive.

I was naive at that time.

I took him back a million fucking times.

Okay, I do want to emphasize you were 18 at 18.

Exactly.

This is like what?

Like six years ago?

I know, I know.

But now we like, we do got to get better.

But I agree.

I don't do that anymore.

Okay, okay, okay.

I don't even care.

Like, no, no, now, girl, guys have given me the location.

I forget that I have it.

Okay, perfect.

Like, you're too tired.

I'm tired, grandpa.

Like, I don't want to do that shit, man.

Okay, so you're 18.

You're getting toxic because he's cheated a couple times.

And you're like, I'm on to you, motherfucker.

I'm in Puerto Rico.

What happens?

Girl.

So I'm looking, I'm looking through, you know, seeing where this man is going, right?

And I remember there was one night particularly, he was not answering the phone.

And I was just like, okay,

this man is up to something.

I was like, he has to be cheating on me because that was the only logical answer.

And

to my surprise, he was cheating on me.

So I was like, okay, cool.

Um, great.

So I remember I was just going off on him because he was not answering his phone.

He was at this random house.

And we had a talk because he wouldn't let me go to clubs or anything.

And I wasn't like allowed to go to parties.

I had lost a lot of my friends at the time because, like, he, every time I would hang out with them, he would like blow up my phone.

And, you know, mind you, I feel like I blew up his phone phone too.

Like, it's not like it was just him.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's, I'm not,

I was doing shit too.

There was a cycle that was being created.

Yeah, it was a very toxic relationship.

And

basically,

he was at this house.

I'm calling.

He's not answering.

Then I see his car leaving early in the morning, like, just leaving that house.

He's calling me.

He's like, I just got a ticket.

Like, I'm late to work.

I just got a ticket.

I just got a ticket.

I'm just like, hmm, where were you?

I was home.

I was home.

This is when he was in the barracks in the military.

And so you told me he was in the barracks.

brother.

Did you forget I had your location?

Like, I've been tracking your house like my Ubery Torter.

Literally, I'm like, best of girl, I'm on like a hawk.

Like, I'm looking at your ass going.

You're like, you're zooming.

You're going 71 miles per hour.

It's back down to 60.

Like, I'm looking at the whole shebang.

Like, I know what route you took.

Literally, I know the way you go home from work.

Like, I saw the whole thing.

But no, no, I'm just kidding.

But, like, I, I was just like,

all right.

Um, you definitely weren't home.

I'm not crazy.

I'm texting his friend.

His friend, I guess, told me, he said that he was, he slept at his place, like his friend's place, in like the barracks room.

Yeah.

And then I asked him where he slept last night.

He slept, he slept in his own room.

So the math wasn't mathing.

You're like, one of you is fucking lying, you idiots.

In the middle of this conversation, I get a DM.

Hey, girly.

I was like, be so for real.

My intuition never lies.

I'm like, oh my God.

I looked at that shit.

I was like, wow.

I got pictures of them in bed together.

No.

Yeah.

I was like, damn, that's crazy.

Not that

girly.

Yeah.

And I was just like, okay, cool.

Yeah.

Then

that whole thing happened.

Then he was like,

said a lot of things to convince me to take him back, which I did.

And I was naive.

I get it.

I get it.

Anyone that's judging didn't have their, one of those first true, like, so madly in love toxic relationships.

Everyone has one.

I had one and it was horrible, but, and it fucks you up.

But it's intoxicating because when you're in love for the first time you don't really understand anything else i never had that a good example growing up like i never had anyone to guide me in that way at all i thought man when i got when i became 18 and i mind you i didn't have my first kiss until after high school i didn't have sex until after high school like

i thought i thought man i thought it was like like a fairy tale I thought it was like Disney.

Swear to God.

I'm watching all these things.

I'm watching all these Disney movies and I'm just like, oh my God, like, it's going to be like that.

And he's going to, like, he's going to look at me from a costume and be like, hey, like, I'm thinking it's, like, gonna be some cute lovey shit.

Bitch, when I, girl,

when I lost my virginity and that man was sleeping with one of the girls who bullied me in school, I was like, be so for real.

This shit is not what I thought it was.

You're like, this is a horror movie.

I'm deadass.

Dead ass.

What is this shit?

Literally.

Dude.

Dude, a rude awakening coming.

Literally.

I know I haven't gone on the pregnant topic yet, but.

okay, yeah, we're getting that.

We're getting that.

Sorry, I have ADHD.

I won't let you forget.

Thanks, Mike.

How the fuck did you find out you're pregnant?

Okay, so after that happened, I remember we were all hanging out, like having a little party, whatever.

I remember I was going up the

stairs, and I remember me and his friends crossed paths.

I remember I was lit as shit this time, and I was just like, I looked at his friend, I was like, I think I'm pregnant.

And he was just, he looked at me and he was just like, no.

And I was like, yeah.

He's like, no.

And then I remember I had eaten Taco Bell

and I threw that shit up everywhere.

And then this is also when I found out I was allergic to Tylenol.

So I took a Tylenol and I found I was allergic to that.

So that was another thing.

I had a fever after that.

Not a good time.

You know, morning sickness plus a fever, not great.

So anyway,

after that, we were going home and I was like, okay, we need to buy a plan B.

I'm like, okay, cool.

Let's go buy a plan B.

We go to Walmart.

Okay, we go to Wally World.

And I was like, all right, let's go buy a plan B.

We're going to think I'm looking at the pregnancy pregnancy test.

I'm like, do you think we should buy a pregnancy test?

He's just like, why?

I was just like, I don't know.

Like, I just feel like we should buy one.

And he was just like, okay, but why?

I was like, okay, well, you know, we're not really rich right now.

I was like, the plan B is more expensive than the pregnancy test.

Imagine if I'm pregnant.

We can just return to plan B.

So that was my logic.

I was like, all right.

And we go, I go in the Walmart bathroom.

And I pee on the stick.

I put it back in the box and I walk out.

And he's just like, what did it say?

I'm like, I don't know yet.

It's still developing.

He's like, okay.

We walk to the car.

We get in the car.

We sit down.

He's like, all right, you want to open it?

I was like, yeah, open that shit.

Pregnant.

I said, oh, we started crying.

We started crying.

We was in shock.

I was in shock.

I was crying.

I was like, what do I do?

I'm talking to my best friend.

I'm like, girl, what do I do?

And she's just like, what are like, you know, do whatever you want to do, whatever you feel is right, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I'm like, okay, cool.

And long story short, we kept breaking up and getting back together.

He deployed.

We kept fighting the entire time.

You know, he still was talking to other girls.

Like, it was like a whole thing.

And

yeah, that was the story of how I found out I was pregnant.

How did your family react?

So I actually kept it from my mom for like three or four months.

Okay.

Kept it from everybody for three or four months.

I didn't know how to do this at all.

I didn't even know I was supposed to go to the doctors.

I didn't know anything.

I hadn't, I've, no one taught me anything.

So I didn't know what to do.

And I just kept her growing inside of me.

I didn't go to an OBGYN.

I didn't go to anything.

I just was pregnant.

And they didn't, no one got, I didn't get checked at all, nothing.

And I remember, I think like three or four months in, I was getting a little bit bigger.

We would go to the grocery store and meet my mom.

And like, she'd, I would be craving things.

And she kind of looks and she's like,

mom's no.

So I remember there was one time I like, she was, I was in my room.

And this is back when I moved back in with her.

And I was in my room.

And she came to like give me a hug.

She said something.

And then like, I hugged her.

I'm a big hugger.

She came and gave me a hug.

And then she goes, you're getting chunky, like chubby.

Like like you're getting a little chubby.

And I'm just like, oh, shit.

Like, I have to tell her.

You got to tell her.

And I'm sitting there in my room, just like constantly.

I'm like, fuck, like, what do I do?

What do I do?

So I don't, I'm like, mom, she's cooking.

I was like, mom, I was like, I have something to tell you.

I was like, can you please come to the room?

And she's like, she's like,

she like walks to my room.

And then she sits down on the bed.

I was like, mom, I was like, I did something bad.

And my mom is extremely religious.

She's Muslim.

So she's extremely religious.

I was like, I did something bad.

And she's just like, did you hurt somebody?

Said, no.

Did you do drugs?

No.

Did you, she's like, just was the same thing.

She's like, did you do this?

I'm like, no.

And she goes, are you pregnant?

And I just start crying.

And she sat there and she looked at me and she goes, don't sin twice.

And that's when I knew I was going to keep my daughter.

And

yeah, that's the story of how I told my mom.

Wow.

Okay.

How did you decide to end that relationship on, off again, toxic while you're pregnant, then you have your daughter?

Like, when did you end it?

And how did you end it with him?

So we were together.

We moved in together after having her.

And then I think like less than a year, I'm not pretty sure exactly how long it was after we moved in together, but.

I remember we, there was a lot of things that bothered me in the relationships.

Like when my daughter was an infant like firstborn

You know, I was breastfeeding at the time and yeah, I was a stay-at-home mother, but I was with her 24-7 never sleeping and

You

if I got up she would cry and cry and it's it's the point where when your kid has like colic you Just don't want to hear crying anymore like it's like it's like you don't want her to cry So you will sit there and not eat so she doesn't cry You will sit there and not shower for days so she doesn't cry Your daughter had colic and can you just just really make sure everyone understands what that is just in case they don't know?

So it's like when kids, like they cry for no really apparent reason.

Like you can do anything and they will not stop crying.

And, you know, some mothers go crazy with it.

Like I had to keep my cool the whole time.

I would just cry because I couldn't do anything.

And

like one, one time my mom, she was just like, just sit her in the room, walk out for five minutes.

She can cry, just come back and just like collect herself a little bit.

And like when she would cry in the middle of the night, like I understand he was in the military and he worked a lot, but it's like, you know, this is a team effort.

And, you know, being a mom is a full-time job.

Like you were with her 24-7.

And like in the middle of the night, we were supposed to do shifts.

Like if, if, like, I had to change a diaper, then it was his turn.

That was my turn.

Sometimes he would do it, but a lot of the time it would be like, like, hey, like, I would wake up to her crying.

I'm like, hey, can you, can you, come on?

Like, can you help me?

Can you help me?

And he was just like, you do it.

You do it.

And so I would get up and go do it.

And, you know, in times like when he would come home, it was like, oh, let me shower first and I'll make you something to eat.

Oh, can I play this video game real quick?

And then I can make you something to eat.

And, or like, I'll be like, can you take her so I can do this?

Hold on, let me shower.

And mind you, he was a great dad still.

He still did good things.

Like, he still spent time with her.

He still was fun with her and stuff like that.

But I think a lot of the hardships were on me.

And,

you know, that's also why like on the show, like the baby thing that triggered the fuck out of me.

Let's get to that because we're going to love Island.

I want to go through that.

Okay, cool.

So you ended up just realizing this person, it just wasn't going to work romantically.

It wasn't going to work romantically.

There was a point where, you know, he wasn't very good with his finances.

And I was just kind of like realizing what I really wanted in a man because I was getting older.

I was getting less naive.

But yeah, so then.

During that time, like he wasn't really good with his finances and we were always late on bills, late on everything.

I would do Instacart with my daughter, which is dangerous.

I would do Instacart with her and bring her with me to do that because we were so broke.

And I would give him all the money that I would make from that.

And we were still late on rent.

And I remember there was a time where he was like leaving for, I think, training or declaration, the deployment or something.

And we had like 30 days, less than 30 days, actually, to move out.

And we had to get it, find a new place.

I have never found a place before.

I had never done anything like that before.

Nothing was packed.

Everything was, I had to do everything.

And I pack everything.

I'm getting, I'm trying to get like some of his friends to help me.

Like, I hired people to help me move.

Like, I was doing everything by myself.

I was losing my mind trying to find a place, like losing my mind.

And

I finally found one, like literally, like, two or three days before I had to move out.

And I moved everything in.

I put his stuff in the storage room.

I left it there.

I told him, I said, listen, when you get back, like, you have two weeks, and that's it.

Cause I'm what kind of man leaves you with all of that?

A boy.

So I wanted better for myself.

I knew my potential as a woman.

I knew my potential in life.

And I knew what I wanted to do with my life and what I wanted in life.

And I wasn't going to settle.

Nor should you ever.

But I get, I can only imagine like the complexity of having a child, but it seems like in a beautiful way, you finally hit that point where you just started to choose yourself.

And it was probably

the best decision you could have made.

But it's so fucking hard to leave.

It was hard to leave.

I remember I would cry every day, every single day.

It's easier to stay sometimes.

I would cry every day by myself.

He wouldn't know I was crying every day, but I would cry every day.

And I would say, I'd like, I hate my life.

I don't want this.

Like, I don't want to be with him.

Like, I was losing my mind.

I was trying to figure out how I could leave and what I could do to leave.

I didn't know what to do.

Like, we weren't even kissing anymore.

And when this ended, around how old were you?

22, 21?

21?

21.

About 21.

Okay, so now you're 24, right?

20, almost 21, I think.

Okay, so now you're 24

and you have all of this going on in your life.

And then fast forward, this little show

comes along called Love Island, and you decide to go on reality TV.

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Tell me how the fuck that came to be because I'm literally like, holy shit, dude.

Like, just

suppose I'll pause for a minute.

Hearing the beginning half of your fucking life, dude, and then to where you're sitting right now.

I know we have a lot of shit to go go through.

I know we have so much to talk about of what the way the internet feels about how you act and all these things, but like, this is the shit of why I love doing my job because it's like, we know none of this.

We've known none of this.

We didn't know about your childhood.

And I understand Love Island's not the platform to like be talking about this kind of shit.

But When we're judging so intensely someone on reality TV, there's 19 million more chapters that we weren't privy to.

And so I appreciate you even opening up a little bit today because I know there's so much more to these stories.

And we're getting a preview.

But thank you for sharing because it does give a lot of insight into now what we are about to talk about.

Thank you for asking.

Of course.

Like, okay.

Love Island.

How?

How did this come to be?

So I always wanted to do the show.

It was always a dream of mine to do the show.

I just never knew if I was going to.

I remember like when I would go, sometimes I would go on like TikTok Live with like

at the time because I was doing social, like gym content a lot of times.

So I would go on, you know, live sometimes and just talk about gym stuff.

And like everyone kept saying, like, cause I sometimes I would say stories like about my dating life because it's fun, like to talk about it.

And I would tell people about my dating life, whatever, everyone's like, you should go on Love Island.

I could so see you on Love Island.

You should do Love Island.

Everyone's pushing me for it.

Like, you should do Love Island.

I was like, okay, I met this guy.

That's how it all starts.

I met this guy.

And he knew that I wanted to do Love Island.

And it ended up being just like a really toxic thing where it was like, he was not at all who I thought he was.

That ended.

He ended up trying to like rub in my face so they reached out to him

and because he knew I wasn't doing it.

And I was like, huh.

He

might do it.

Why the fuck can't I do it?

Because he told me he was dumb.

So I was like, why the fuck can't I do it?

You're rubbing it in my face.

So I said, fuck it.

I'll apply.

I applied traditionally.

I applied traditionally and I said, you know what?

I'm going to do it.

And I did.

And then I think like a month later or something, I had gone reach out to, not even, sorry.

I got reached out to shortly after that, but about a month later, I had my interview.

Did that months later, another interview.

Then I think it was like the final point where I met the producers.

Since then, every week, like multiple interviews a week, multiple things I had to do.

Then I remember I flew to Fiji and I manifested this shit, bitch.

I'm just like.

positive.

I'm always trying to stay positive, even though regardless of how negative that situation was, like I was staying positive.

And I was like, I'm going to have this.

I would speak it into existence.

Like, I, this is going to be my reality, I'm going to have this.

This is what I'm going to do.

And I was like, I kept telling myself, I'm going to be an OG.

I'm going to be an OG.

I kept telling myself that.

I was like, I'm going to be an OG.

And I remember I came to Fiji, they flew me out.

And,

you know, I had done all the interviews and whatnot, and like, all the filming prep work and whatever.

And they're like, this doesn't guarantee you're on the show still.

I'm like, okay, I'm like, I have anxiety.

I'm just like, no, I'd like to know things before they happen.

And,

you know, I'm sitting there and then I get told, told, we want you in the first lining, like the first lineup.

I was just like,

my jaw on the floor, like on the fucking floor, bitch.

That shit was catching.

That flies were flying in the hoe.

And I was like, holy shit.

My manifestations are coming true.

And I get on the show, doing the whole thing.

I think I had a lot of luck on that show.

in terms of how long I stayed.

And I think think that whole show is really luck a lot of it is luck america's voting luck like it's luck how they perceive you luck okay

well we're gonna go back to the beginning let's go because i didn't watch all these episodes for nothing come on you didn't live it for nothing let's do it boom chicken okay day one couple up with jeremiah yeah

what was your first impression of this man Um, so, okay, so when we first saw each other, I remember I thought everyone was really attractive.

Um, when he came in, he like, I could just, you know when you can just tell when when a guy really likes you the way they look at you.

Yes.

I remember I was like, I went to go hug him and like I tripped backwards and he like pulled me in and that like stuck with me.

And I was like, hmm.

It's like a movie.

I was like, love it.

You know, my childhood dreams are coming true.

I remember in that point.

And then, you know, we, you know, kiss in the heart thing

and, you know, he kissed the girl on the cheek.

And I was like, hmm.

Like, why would a man not do that for me?

Do you know what I'm saying?

I'm like, I'm like, okay, period.

Like, we love that.

Everyone's like, do you not think that's a red flag?

I'm like, damn, like, is is that a red flag?

I'm like, fuck.

I'm like, am I tripping here?

Because I'm so used to getting love bombed.

At that point, when everyone's like pointing out to me, they're like, do you not think that's a red flag?

And I'm sitting there at Beach and I'm just like, am I being love bombed?

Like, is this not real?

I'm like, is like, is this like, am I tripping?

How would you describe your guy's dynamic in the first 24 hours, that first 24 hours off the rip?

Me and Jeremiah.

Yes.

Oh, lovey-Weby as fuck.

Like, he was so into me.

I was so into him.

Like, even on chill days, like, we would always like blow kisses from across the room.

Like we would look at each other and be like, and like we would get yelled to be like, stop interacting with each other.

Like we would do all those little hearts to each other, like blow kisses.

Like we would sneak in the hallway to kiss each other and like we would get in trouble.

Like we would do those things all the time.

Like we would kiss each other all of each other's faces and whatnot.

It was very physical.

So you

intentionally decided that you wanted to wait to tell Jeremiah about your daughter.

Why was waiting important to you?

So I felt like in the dating world, in the real world, I think that people don't really see me as a person and like get to know me fully.

I think immediately it's like mom.

And they're just like, oh, she's a mom.

She's a mom.

She's a mom.

I'm more than just a mom.

Like, I'm Huda.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, there's more to me than just that.

And I was taking this opportunity as a way for people to get to know me first to decide if they liked me.

And then go from there.

There's people that have mom fetishes and shit all the time.

Like, do you know what I'm saying?

Like, I'm trying to let them get to know me first.

And I said this on the show.

I don't know if it was ever shown.

I haven't watched it back, but like, i said all of these things one of the things that people online have kind of accused you of

being slightly manipulative by hiding that part of your life from jeremiah did you feel like you were leading him on and kind of setting up him up to fail by keeping this from him um not necessarily whenever we would have conversations and stuff and i felt like he was liking me more and more and more as a person i was like okay i i can tell he really likes me so i think this is the the right time to tell him I was terrified to tell him.

Why?

Because I was, because I really liked him.

I was so scared.

Like, I was, I was like, what is he going to do?

Like, I hope he reacts well.

Um,

you know, I didn't want him to freak out to be continued, but like, you know, I was just

um, but yeah, so I was just like, okay, I want it to be the right time to tell him.

And,

you know, I did bring it to his attention and we talked about it.

Um, I freaking stuttered a lot of the time I said because I was so nervous.

Like, I was so scared to tell him.

And

yeah, I told him.

He told me he was like, he's like, honestly, I find him more attractive than your mom.

Did I fully believe him?

No.

But I told him, I made sure to mention him.

I was like, listen,

if I, like, I'm telling you this, but you do not have to stay with me.

I made it very clear.

I was like, you do not have to be with me.

It is okay for you not to not want to be with me.

Like, I just wanted to bring this to our attention.

Like, if you want to go explore, like, by all means, just let me know.

Cause I really like you.

And, you know, clearly, like, we both really like each other.

But if this is a deal breaker for you, just let me know.

He's like reassuring me, like, no, like, I'm just more attracted to me than your mom.

Like, blah, blah, blah.

I'm like, okay, cool.

And,

you know, I'm letting him know, like, you can leave if you want to.

And there's times where I brought that up to him when I could tell he was kind of switching his

the way he would treat me after I told him.

And he would just, he would get to him and be like, I can make my own decisions.

I know what I want to, like, I can do that.

A huge debate on the internet internet is whether Jeremiah was the victim of Hurricane Huda or if you were the victim of Jeremiah's love bombing.

Just if you had to give your immediate reaction, what is your answer?

I think that we both had faults in the relationship.

Like, I don't think that anyone should fully take blame for anything, in all honesty.

Jealousy was a theme throughout you and Jeremiah's relationship.

In the second episode, he was convinced that you got up to kiss someone during the blindfold challenge, and he was like convinced.

He kept asking you and asking you and you were like, I swear to you, I didn't.

He made you pinky, promise, the whole thing.

What red flags, if any,

did that raise for you?

Or did that not freak you out?

You know, it's so weird.

I think

I'm such a person where it's like, I love giving reassurance and I love making sure people are okay.

And in that moment, I was like, oh my God, like, like, are you okay?

Like, are you good?

Like, are you, are you okay?

Like, I did it.

I don't want you to feel, you know, like, I'm going to do something to you.

Like, are you, like, I promise I'm not going to hurt you?

Like, Like, and I was just, I just wanted to make sure he was okay.

Like, take care of him in that moment.

Do you see, though, that it's day two, and you guys already having that level where it's like, you're not closed off, and you having to reassure him that you moved so fast?

Like, that's fast.

Yeah, we moved fast.

Okay, we did.

You spoke about how you like when guys are obsessed with you.

How do you tell the difference between when that is healthy and then when that can lead to being problematic?

I think that, especially on the show, I think I've learned a lot more about how to differentiate the two.

But I think there's a point of like obsession where it's like, I've had moments in the past where like people are like, should I, should I, should I move to North Carolina?

Should I stay, should I stay here and not move to another city?

Like, should I, and, you know, past me, I might have been like, oh my God, he loves me a lot.

Like, wow.

And another part would be like, that's really crazy.

Like, that's insane.

Like, don't do that.

When I say like being obsessed with me, it's more so like, okay I like a man who like wants to hug me and like physical affection and stuff like that I like a man who's like no like I want to make sure I'm taking her to do this and I want to make this little cute thing that's thoughtful for her and I want to do this for her I want her to be happy and I want to show that I really like her now looking back in those very early days

what red flags do you think you missed from Jeremiah?

Damn, I got to roll it back.

Shit.

There's so much that has happened in that villa.

It's like, I know.

I mean, honestly, the whole thing was the, you told me the kissing thing.

The people brought that to my attention.

Like, that is a red flag.

You know, just like, from what I've seen is like when I'm having conversations with other people that he's looking over too, like, see things like that.

You know, when, for example,

before Pepe walked in, he was like,

I'm not going to be intimidated unless he's like a 6'3, like, buff guy.

Like, I'm not going to be intimidated at all.

Then Pepe walks in and now it's like a, when he found out Pepe didn't really like me, that's why he befriended Pepe.

And to make sure like that's what the guys would do they would befriend each other so hard I never had a shot like it was not fair like

at all and now it's broken and I clocked all this shit there's so much stuff that I clocked that proved me right when I saw like little edits and shit I was like oh my god I wasn't crazy like I wasn't losing my mind here girl When the whole Iris thing happened, I think I was working out with Pepe and Hannah and like at this time I wasn't with Jeremiah.

I wasn't with him.

I remember he was in the kitchen and I could just feel this man staring.

Like I could see him staring because Pepe was like helping me with my weights and stuff.

And I could see this man staring from the kitchen.

Like I'm just like, I know he's looking at me right now.

He does that.

Yeah.

He would do that.

Okay.

Whenever a new bombshell came into the villa and wanted to explore with Jeremiah, you had pretty intense reactions.

Yeah.

Even though you guys weren't technically close off.

Yep.

Why were you getting so territorial?

I think because I was scared because of everyone doubting us in general.

And it made me wonder, like, okay, what is he saying?

And I'm like, should I be more possessed with this man?

Like, should I

mark my territory here?

And, you know, like, cause he told me, like, you know, we're, yeah, we're technically exploring other people, but like, you're the only person I want.

Like, da, da, da.

And I'm like, okay, let me make it clear that like we only want each other, but like we're still open to exploring other people.

That's interesting.

Okay, because so basically you're trying to say you were feeling like other people were questioning you guys.

So you thought so much throughout the villa.

So you wanted to lean in more to prove like, no, look, we're good and we like each other.

And you're almost like putting up a bigger facade.

Not that it's fake, but it's like, let's play it up a little bit so they really believe us because we do like each other.

Yeah.

I mean, there was even times where I don't know if any of this was shown.

Like, for example, like me and Amaya, we're busies now.

But like back then, I thought, because I heard that the bomb shows watch before they come in.

I thought that she knew me and Jeremiah were so like lovey-dovey and she did that on purpose to piss me off.

So at that time, I had thought that she did that to piss me off.

So I'm sitting here like, this bitch, like, fuck this girl.

Like, she, she knew that me and him were like all lovey dovey.

Like, how are you going to fuck with somebody who like you know that is like super close with their person?

Like, you're weird as fuck for that.

And that's what I thought.

And until after she told me, I was like, okay, but then I knew she still wanted to explore him.

And then at the time, I was just like,

this is just weird.

Looks like it's the new, it's first bombshell.

Do you think, though, Huda, that now looking back, what was that?

Second bombshell, sorry.

Second rack of the bombshell.

But now looking back at that amaya moment like let's use that as an example you

going and being pissed at a maya even if she had watched

that's her job as a bomb show and that's what i had you know what i mean i had to learn that like it was it's new this is not the real world like this is very different you have to adjust to this

do you now see how People on the internet could be upset with you being like, that is like fucked, that you're going at Amaya.

It's not Amaya's fault.

No, did they, did they show that anything of me saying like oh what no anything of me saying like okay oh i didn't know that you didn't know blah blah blah i don't think we saw that weird um okay at one point i'm so sorry can i point on something on that last thing yes so i was gonna say also at this time as well that's when all the boys were like pushing jeremiah like go explore go explore go explore like like like do you know what i'm saying and it made me just be like damn like all these boys are encouraging this man to to do this and it's like damn you're trying to you're encouraging him to like leave me basically basically because none of the guys like liked me really.

Pause.

Why?

Bitch, honestly.

It's a beats me.

Like, I don't fucking know.

And

there might be things that I haven't seen that I got to go look at.

But, you know, a lot of the time, like, I feel as though people didn't want me and Jeremiah to be together.

Why?

If you had to give your best guess, why do you think people were so upset?

And I get, as it got on and it got toxic, fine.

People were like, this is fucking up.

Even at the beginning stage, but the very, very beginning, they did not want this.

Why do you think if you can come up with your best guess?

They have their own narrative on like what to do in Love Island.

And like, yes, you're supposed to explore, but if someone wants to lock in, let them lock in.

Like, if someone wants to explore, let them explore.

Like, let them do whatever they want.

That's their own narrative.

It's their own life.

They were very fixated on it.

It was a big topic in the villa.

Like, everybody only talked about me and Jeremiah.

Especially Ace.

He was fixated on you and Jeremiah.

So I've heard.

That is a fucking fact.

Like, this man, half the time, I think most of the time I was looking at tweets, people were like, can this man give Shelly half the energy in the beginning days that he's giving Huda and Jeremiah?

Like, bro, get in your own relationship and stop getting in theirs.

Even if it's toxic, even it's whatever, like let them do their thing.

Before this seeped into affecting the whole villa I'm talking about, we're not there yet.

But at one point, Ace literally questioned, what happened to you in your past that made you move so quickly in your dating life?

Looking back, do you think his concerns were valid or do you think he was crossing the line?

I think his concerns were valid.

I think that, you know, he has a right to ask me these things,

which is fine.

And like, honestly, I respect people who talk and ask me things.

Like, I would rather someone have that conversation with me rather than assume that's something that would happen a lot in the villa.

No one would sit down and ask me, hey, why is it that you do these type of things?

And I respect people that do that in all honesty.

I really do.

Can you confirm, was there ever any sexual tension between you and Ace?

Yeah, at at one point I liked him.

I definitely did.

Like, there was a point where I definitely found him attractive.

I thought he was really cute.

I did not kiss him for nothing.

Like,

yeah.

Have you seen now the screenshots that people have posted confirming that Ace used to like a lot of your Instagram photos

before you guys even got to the villa?

So I've seen.

I've heard excuses.

I've seen, I, that is something where I can't say it's not, it's beyond me.

Um, that is his own words to be telling.

It is beyond me, whether it's AI, whether he blames it on someone else, whether it's whatever.

It's beyond me.

So I've heard that he's unliked all of them.

Like, I don't, I've heard.

I don't, these are all word of ear.

I've, girl, I've only been here for so long.

Like, I haven't been able to catch one.

I'm trying, bitch.

Okay, can you clarify for me?

How early on were you and Jeremiah intimate?

Oh, damn.

I don't even know.

Like,

honestly, I don't remember.

Okay.

Even when people were saying, like, oh, we did shit.

like, it was like, you can't fully do shit in there.

Like, yeah, we had sex, but it wasn't like full-on boo-boo.

Like, do you know what I'm saying?

What was that noise you just made?

Boo-boo.

Like, there's not a full, like, boom, shiggaboom, the basketball babo.

Like, it's, it wasn't like full,

you know.

But you were like, you were, you were intimate pretty early.

Yeah, we were.

How do you think that complicated things, if it did?

I think that you should definitely, from learning from my mistakes, like, especially coming out of this,

don't do that.

That's all I will say.

Like, don't zoo it.

Like, that is a no-no.

I think that a lot of times when guys end up getting what they want, it changes their character.

And you felt that way?

I did.

I don't think I spoke on it, but there's things that I felt a lot in the villa that I never spoke on, but I clocked.

Why?

Because I didn't really have much people to talk to about it.

That's why a lot of time, like with Psych and stuff, I would ask for her so I could talk about it.

What did you feel about post-being intimate with him?

How was what was the shift?

Like when I would ask him to do like nice things for me, because like a lot of the guys in the villa were doing really cute, thoughtful things for their girls and couples, and they weren't even on the level of like intimacy as we were or anything.

And like they weren't saying the things that we were saying to each other, that's why the love bombing, like, hey, you know, you got what you wanted.

And

yeah, it's just, I don't know, like there was that.

And

I would ask of things.

And like, people are always like, Huda, I saw people were saying, like, oh, she's so needy.

She's so this.

She's so that.

What does it mind say?

I'm not your cup of tea.

Don't drink it.

Like, the fuck.

But I think it's interesting to hear you with, especially with love bombing, which we'll eventually get to.

But you're talking about the phase where you're being lifted up like you're this princess and you're the world and you're his girl and you're all these things.

And then you basically get physical and you feel discarded.

And it's kind of like, I got what I needed.

And now I think it's important.

I'm not saying everything that you went on to do is correct, but I do think it's good that we're kind of just like walking through slowly because any woman listening,

I hope you haven't experienced it, but I have.

So I can sit across from you and say I've been there where there is this horrible feeling when you realize, oh my God, did he love the chase?

And then I gave in and I had sex with him.

And now

it's not as enticing to him.

It's not as interesting.

And so you being like, can you just do little cute things for me?

You're really just trying to see.

I was like, damn, it's only physical.

Like, like, I was like, fuck.

Yeah, you're making me breakfast in the morning.

But like, sometimes it's.

It's more than just breakfast in the morning.

And then people are like, oh, you're, well, you're not doing stuffing for him.

I'm not giving wifey shit to men who don't fucking deserve it.

Can you explain Pancakegate to me?

Bitch.

Oh, can I explain this to you before I do that?

Yes.

So there was times where like I would express to him what I, like, I, what I wanted from him.

And like, I would be like, hey, can you do this for me?

He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it.

And they would never do it.

And it drove me crazy because it was like every single day I'd be like, hey, like, you know, and it's a lot for me to come up to some and be like, hey, this is what I want because I always get scared I'm going to push them away.

And I would say, like, hey, you know, and it's one of our conversations we had early on.

It was like, I have a hard time asking for things.

and

yes, I've done it a lot in the show, but it's like it's because I'm getting out of my comfort zone.

I'm trying to ask for things

and I'm trying to be communicative and like speak about it what I'm feeling.

Because the whole point, how are you feeling?

Like all the time.

And so I brought things up to him, and he would say he was going to do, oh, yeah, I have this and I have this and I have this plan.

I'm going to do this this and this for you.

I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm sitting there waiting like for the day.

Nothing.

I'm like,

that would drive any girl crazy.

Without a doubt.

My question, though, back to you is, do you think that you reciprocate the same standards that you hold your partners to?

When I'm with somebody, like, and they are showing me days on end that they truly give a fuck about me getting to know me, about showing me that they like me more than just words, but through actions,

then I'm the type of person like, girl, with my ex, he switched his career every two seconds.

Every single time he'd be like, oh, I want to decorate shoes.

I said, okay, cool.

Bought him everything for it.

Oh, I want to go run track.

I was at the field with him.

Oh, I want to do this.

I would do X, Y, Z with him.

Like, I'm such a supportive partner.

I love uplifting and motivating whoever I'm with.

That is my big thing.

I think that you can do anything you want and you set your mind to.

And I feel like every man needs that.

They need a woman who's their cheerleader.

And that's who I am in a relationship.

Like, that's what I do.

I love taking care of somebody.

I'm a mom.

Like, I love.

taking care of somebody, making someone feel okay.

I like, like, when I, when I have, like, if I'm actually like with somebody, I love cooking for them.

I love cleaning, doing their laundry, massages.

I love doing all of those things for my partner.

And in past relationships, I'm 100% that girl and I do that.

What do you think was the actual first crack in you and Jeremiah's relationship?

Oh my God, I would have to like deep dive.

Can you remind me of like key points?

That would happen.

I mean, I definitely think after you guys were intimate, I felt you understandably being needier, like wanting more validation external from physical.

And it almost felt like that like pursuer-regressor situation where you were going to him being like, Can you do this?

Can you do this?

And he would run away.

And then it was almost like.

And I felt that in person.

And it just makes you want to run more to them.

Like you want to be like, hey, look, can I do this?

Can I do that?

Like, am I, am I, like, are you mad at me?

Are you this?

Like, and I, I'm always that person, like, are you mad at me?

Did I do something wrong?

You know, one of the big talks me and him had before we even started anything was, we're going to communicate.

We have to communicate.

We're going to tell each other everything.

And

he told me I could tell him everything.

So I did.

Anytime I was feeling something, I would tell him.

And,

you know, everyone has expectations for their partner and like what they want.

And I think at the time, like, I was thinking about like what could be and I wasn't thinking about like the reality of it and like seeing it for how it was.

And at that point, it was like too late for me to even explore others because everyone had their mind made up about me.

They're like, oh yeah, she's so locked in and she's this and she's that.

And it's like, great.

So like now I really don't have an option if I wanted to.

So I'm forced to make this work.

At one point in the season, Jeremiah told Iris, even though that you guys were going through this rough patch, he was still focused on you.

You were his girl.

He was validating your relationship, but you were upset that he had confided in Iris.

Why was that something that made you uncomfortable?

I don't like when people talk about like our business

personally.

I've maybe I've done in the past I'm hypocritical, but like I've, I mean, I've I don't like it.

Then I've learned from my mistakes.

you know what I'm saying?

Like,

am I going to do that?

No, like, do you know everyone fucks up?

Um, but yeah, no, I just didn't want him to

tell that to someone I don't know.

So I get that, you being upset.

And I think what people got frustrated with you during the season, Huda was like, a lot of times your feelings were valid.

That's so valid for you to be like, why are you telling another woman about our issues that like she likes you and you guys have kissed?

And like, what?

This is messy.

Please don't talk about it.

I'm sorry, but when he's walking in, she's like,

and stuff, like, freaking the fuck out about it.

I'm like,

you're giving me the ick, brother.

Like, get the fuck out of my face.

But see, okay, hold up.

What I'm saying is your feeling is valid.

Yeah.

But your reaction a lot of the time,

you took it too far to the point then where you were basically losing your credibility.

Remember when I told you that there's a lot of things that play into how you react emotionally in there?

Yes.

Is that right?

No, it's not right.

And it's my first time in an environment like that never in my life have i been in an environment like that usually i can just

have that conversation when i want to or feel the feelings like privately or do you know what i'm saying and in terms of like crash outs for example Bitch, we all fucking crash out.

Like everybody crashes the fuck out.

And in all honesty, if someone says, oh, you're doing too much, I know damn well your ass fucking crashed out in your room alone in 2018 over fucking Jacoby.

Like,

what the fuck?

Like, do you know what I'm saying?

Mine was just fucking caught on national television.

Do I think I could have handled that a lot better?

Yeah.

And that's what taking accountability and learning from your mistakes is.

Can you talk to me about this communication breakdown?

It seems like you and Jeremiah got to this point where you guys were always arguing.

You could not get it right.

Like we hit this one point in the season where it was like, holy fucking shit, they actually can't have one civilized conversation.

When you would talk about things, why do you think the communication was breaking down so heavily?

So I think that at a point I was scared that things weren't going to work.

And I, I, like at one point, I knew that I had no other options in there, first of all.

And

that, I mean, I'm, it's partially my fault.

Like, do you know what I'm saying?

Like, it's not like, it's not like I didn't prevent that from happening.

And,

you know, and that's the thing I, like, I made mistakes in there.

And I've, I've had to learn throughout the season that, hey, you shouldn't do that.

But there was little things I built up where it was like, okay, you know,

I'm asking you like, hey, can you just, do you want to play ping pong with me?

Like, I really want to play ping pong.

And you don't want to play with me, but you pull Iris and play with her.

You've never pulled me the entire season to play ping pong.

It's like little things that like mean something to me.

And people say, oh, you're so nitpicky.

You're so this.

You're so that.

Okay.

There's things that I like in a relationship.

There's things I want in a relationship.

The right man is going to do all of those things.

When the shocking recoupling happening, where America split you and Jeremiah up,

going into that night, like what were your feelings about your relationship?

And then how did you feel when you found out that you guys got split up?

At that point, I think I felt fine in the relationship.

I can't remember vividly exactly what happened.

I would have to watch it back.

Like, I really don't.

I just remember that I felt fine.

Um, because I was like, oh, you know, couples argue, like, we can work on things, blah, blah, blah.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I was like, I'm willing to work through this and yada, yada, yada.

And then when it happened, I was like,

What?

I was so confused.

I was like, America fucking hates me.

I was having a full-blown panic attack,

full-blown panic attack off camera, like full-blown.

They're sitting there with me, like, okay, like, calm down.

Like, you're gonna be okay.

I'm like, I failed as a mother.

I fucked up.

Like, I'm like, America fucking hates me.

Like, my daughter's gonna come back, and her mom's gonna be the worst, the most hated person in the world.

And I was like, now she has to live with that.

Like, I'm, oh, I'm gonna cry again because it's like, I'm reliving it.

But

sorry

anytime i'm talking about my daughter i cry um

but

you know so

i just i was like i failed

at that point i was like i failed um

and

it was a terrible feeling

I'm so thankful.

That's why I say luck is a big thing.

I'm just so thankful that I had an opportunity to redeem myself, not once, but twice.

First time, did I do that to the full extent?

No.

Because I was convinced maybe I could make things work still.

And I knew that, for example, Pepe didn't want to explore me because, you know, me and Jeremiah were still locked in.

And with Jalen, Jalen wasn't my type.

And he's a sweet guy, but like, he wasn't my type.

And they always say, you know, explore people that aren't your type.

And there I knew what my type was and that's what I wanted.

but yeah, I was convinced that I could maybe make things work and fix things.

I came to the point, it wasn't.

Then I got saved again.

But even that moment, Huda, again, all we see is you're on the chopping block, you almost go home, he recouples with Iris, and you go up to the makeup room, and you are hysterical.

You're sobbing, you're so emotional.

So, you want to know why?

I don't know if they didn't show this part, but this is a big, big, big part.

And this is why, this is the literal reason why I was sobbing so much up there.

I am there for Jeremiah 24-7,

always

checking on him.

When he's arguing with the boys and he's sad and whatever, I'm there for him.

Like, hey, like, it's okay.

You're going to be okay.

When

in that moment, I'm hysterically crying.

Taylor is sitting there comforting me the whole time.

When we're off camera, he's comforting me.

Taylor's scared as fuck, but he's comforting me, okay?

Same goes when Taylor was in there and I'm purposely saying out loud, hey, Taylor, do you want to help me with my coffee?

Like trying to see, hey, is Jeremiah gonna see that?

Jeremiah's standing right there.

I'm trying to see if he's gonna step up and be like, No, like, you're not making my girl coffee.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I wanted that from him.

Show him, like, show me,

hey, I like, I, I, I'm, I'm, I want to do these things for you.

Ask me, hey, do you, would you like a coffee?

Like, you know, something like that.

And in that moment, after the chopping block, I was hysterically crying because of how much I like, just, I felt like it failed.

I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying.

Charlie goes home.

Jeremiah

does not check on me once.

We saw that.

You did?

Like, he didn't, he didn't check on me at all.

I'm always checking on this man.

He never checked on me.

The one time I really needed him, he was not there for me.

That was a rough watch because you were saying, like, my husband would never.

Like,

what kind of man is that?

Like, where is he?

And he's more focused on himself at that time.

And there's so many times where, like, I was still there for him regardless of what was going on.

Like I was always there.

And I always made sure he was like, hey, look at the milk challenge.

I still, I was, I remember, I, and I sat there for a minute.

They only showed a quick clip, but I sat there for a minute like, I'm so sorry.

I grabbed his face.

I was like, I'm so sorry.

Like, I rubbed his face like that.

We were sitting on the bleachers and we were both getting milked on.

He's looking at me while I'm crying, like checking on me.

And like, he rubs my leg.

and is making sure I'm okay.

And I rub his arm.

Like we were still checking on each other all these times.

Like, and

in that moment after the chopping block, and I realized he was never there for me, it just made me hysterical because I was like, this man doesn't care.

Once this all went down,

you guys are no longer in a couple.

We saw things really shift.

And I think this is really when people deemed this as like the crash out era, where you're no longer in a couple, things are shifting, you're kind of starting to spiral because you're losing him.

Were you aware of how unhealthy things were getting between the two of you in the villa?

Yeah.

Like you felt it.

I did.

Did it feel like it had gotten bigger than you?

Like, or were you just trying to save the relate?

Like, what were you trying to do in that moment, you think?

Can you reiterate the moment?

Like,

you, hmm.

I'm so sorry.

I know, I got it.

Let me just read it to you right here.

I have a perfect example.

The internet was extremely upset when you called Jeremiah a pussy ass bitch.

Right.

And then there's also the other side of the internet who are like, damn, if that's what you guys considered bad, you would fucking hate to see me on Love Island.

Regardless of how the internet feels about it, there was a lot of

name calling and all the things.

Like, what pushed you over to the edge to start kind of like using a little bit more profanity?

So at that point, I just felt like he kept winning.

It really upset me because like, it just felt like the stars were just aligning for him and everything was fucked for me that whole time.

I wasn't talking about twice.

This man doesn't check on me.

Then he's on a date and I'm crying by myself.

Like, then he comes back happy as can fucking be enjoying his day.

Still doesn't give a fuck.

Like, it's just like, damn, all that shit you said to me, where is that?

And I'm just sitting there.

I'm just like, damn, I'm stupid as fuck for sticking around.

Like, and just giving this man my all.

Like, I'm dumb for that.

Because even in that moment, even after everything he did, I was still checking on this man.

Like, and I shouldn't have done that.

I should have never done that.

And, you know, like, people are saying, oh, like, it's so bad that you called him a pussy ass bitch.

Be so for real.

You know how many people call it a man pussy ass bitch, me, right?

My ex-boyfriend, if you're watching,

my bitch,

he is a fucking pussy ass bitch.

No, but like, mine was recorded.

Like,

I have to be like, when you're texting with your friends, and your man just fucking did shit like that to you or something, you can text your fans and be like, fuck that man, you fucking piece of shit, loser-ass little bitch boy.

Yeah, I will fucking ruin your life.

Hold on, pause.

Let's calm down.

I'm weak as fuck.

Getting triggered.

She's like, hold on.

And also, and now that's a raven.

Like, they're like, you literally go back.

Like, the trauma.

Like that one.

No, but it's real.

It's like, why are you being held to this standard?

Again, I'm not condoning it, but I'm also.

It's not the best way to do things.

No.

But it's also not.

It's like, is it a crash out?

And I think, again, this is a big conversation.

If this was a man versus a woman, it's like, when you see a crash out, we have seen men on reality TV punch a fucking hole through a wall.

We have seen them flip furniture.

We have seen them throw things at people.

We have seen people literally talk about, I will fucking kill you, blah, blah, blah.

I'm not saying it wasn't a lot when you did it in the moment.

I think because you were the only one at that level, it also kind of exacerbated you and there was a spotlight and you're walking through and you're walking from the fire pit to the back and you're fucking that I will give you it was I would have done that.

You were like listening and on the conversation.

I did that a lot in this season.

Because I'm sitting here and I'm just like, I might as well do it by myself because I don't know who the fuck's going to tell me in here.

So I'm sitting here and I'm just like,

because mind you I'm hard of hearing so I'm like trying to listen in and see if I can hear it

I'm like I hope I'm getting this right

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There's obviously a lot of focus on you and like, but obviously there were two people in this dynamic.

Do you think Jeremiah has taken any accountability for what he caused within this relationship?

Not that I've seen.

I haven't seen really much.

Every time someone says something, I feel like he's always just like,

anytime, like I saw that interview with Kai Sana and Kai was saying that I was crazy or something.

And then Jeremy Mission is like, hmm.

Like,

do I think anyone should be getting hate?

No.

I'm going to say it like it is and say exactly what happened and be honest.

What another person, what another individual does is beyond me.

But I'm not going to sit here and laugh and be like, if someone's hating on him, I'm going to be like, haha.

Like, I'm not doing that.

Do you think you're being held to the same standard as Jeremiah in the accountability around the toxicity of this relationship?

What I will say is he got out of the villa before I did.

He had a chance to write his own name before I did.

He got a pretty face.

Like, he's sitting here and he's just like, I'm so charming.

And I'm like,

and it's just like, okay, cool.

You are painting your own narrative.

That's fine.

You're saying whatever you want to say.

That's fine.

But I'm going to say how it really fucking is.

I'm going to say exactly what the fuck happened and exactly what I was feeling because as of until today, no one truly knows what the fuck I was feeling.

And no one knows what was going on.

There's not, not everything was shown.

Let's close the chapter on Jeremiah.

Give me your synopsis.

What the fuck happened?

What do you think it was now that you look back?

I think that personally, from what I was feeling, now I won't know, but from what I was feeling, I felt like

everything was great, got intimate, things started changing a little bit.

Told him I was a mom, things started changing a lot of it.

Like, a lot of things kind of like people were getting in his ear, things were changing even more.

A lot of those things happen.

I was getting more needy because I was scared that he was feeling indifferent.

He has every right to feel indifferent.

Even if he felt indifferent about me being a mom, that's fine.

But, like, talk to me about it.

And you're telling me every second that we're fine.

You're good.

You're fine.

We're good.

We're good.

And then your actions are showing otherwise.

It's like,

okay.

i'm going to be upset about that i'm not going to be like that's fine like especially if we're supposed to be working on our relationship do you think you were love-bombed yeah

plain simple i think i was in all complete honesty I know that he feels indifferent.

I don't think he fully understands the capacity of love bombing.

He thinks that love bombing is just gifts and shit.

I'm pretty sure.

I think that's what I heard.

I'm just like, that's not it.

That's not all of it.

Looking at me all the time and being like, I love, I'm just kidding.

And mind you, the beginning of the season, take, take it, take it from me.

Around all my friends, I'm around my daughter 24-7.

I'm always saying, okay, love you, bye, love you, love you, love you, bye.

Cause I say I love you to everybody.

Life's too short.

You know, life is too short to not say I love you.

And I forgot, like, I hadn't been dating like that at all.

Like, it had been since like, well, like October or something.

Like, I literally was not in the dating world at all.

I'm so used to saying, okay, I love you bye, love you bye.

Even when any of like the people and staff and whatever were like doing things with me beforehand, like in the hotel and whatever, like people, I would always say, okay, I love you bye, love you bye.

It's the type of person I am.

A very lovely, dovey person.

And I had to catch myself a few times because I was, I kept saying, okay, love you by, like, saying to Jeremiah.

I remember that moment.

There was like one moment where you saw you say, like, love you by, and you're like, oh, wait, no.

Yeah, I think I did it a couple of times.

Like, I was, and I had to train myself, like, ooh, don't do that.

Cause I didn't mean to.

It was not intentional.

But he would look at me and be like, I love,

just kidding, I like you.

Like, he would do that to me a lot.

I don't know if any of that was shown, but he would do it so much, especially in bed.

Like, he would do that all.

Yeah, we never saw that in bed.

All the time.

All the time.

How could you not fall for somebody?

How could you not feel like, do you know what I'm saying?

And it's like when he's saying love bombing is gifts and whatever, from what I was hearing on social media, I don't know if he said more, but that's what I heard.

And

yeah, it's just like, and I seen him doing those things, just like, okay, love mommy is not just gifts and shit.

It's a lot more to it than that.

Being super physical with me all the time, lovey Dovey really fast, right away kissing a girl on the cheek, like those things.

Like, it's just like, okay.

How did you feel when he got kicked off the island?

I cried.

I hate seeing people

upset.

I hate it.

I'm a big empath.

Like,

my friend's crying over something, I'm usually crying with her.

Like, a lot of times, especially if I relate.

And,

you know, like, I have serious concern for a lot of people's feelings.

And when

he got dumped on the island, I was like, like, damn, like, I, it's not, this is not what I wanted.

It's not like I'm sitting here.

I'm like, fuck yeah, he got dumped off the island.

Like, I'm sitting here, like, damn.

Even though he was doing exactly what he was doing to me to Andrena, like, he did the exact, like, literally verbatim, like, the exact same fucking thing like every single thing down to the chill days the whole little from across the room the whole from across the room me and Taylor clocking this shit from we're just looking at each other like

is this really fucking happening again

exactly to the it's like he reads a textbook Was that hard for you to watch?

Yes.

Oh my God.

I had to sit there and I'm just looking at them doing it from afar and I'm like, oh, and that's when I started getting the ick.

I was like, you're, what is wrong with you?

I'm like, like, you're sitting here and you're just like, from across the room with the same, the same exact things he would do with me.

And it's just like, okay,

now I get it.

He is a love bomber, but I made sure not to speak to them about

each other.

I never did.

I wanted them to have their own ideas of each other and create their own.

Okay, so I think we can close the Jeremiah chapter.

Yeah, that man does not deserve to have his name in my mouth.

We're done.

amen let's talk about casa amore bitch casa amore tonight tonight oh my god he was saying my name huda he was

i'm like okay you're like saying that's my name um okay going into casa did it feel like a fresh start like what were you looking forward to i was hype as the whole time i was sitting in the freaking villa i was like damn when is my man gonna come in here like when is this gonna fucking happen i'm sitting here having me time 24 fucking seven like i know tj don't want my ass like

bitch i knew exactly who we wanted like i'm doing my best here i'm like trying my best thank you for the like the the practice you took it like a champ yeah i was like options are coming i'm fine like it's not the end of the world like you know what i'm saying i'm not your cup of seed that's fine like it's okay so were you nervous at all because i know the casa boys maybe got to see like a couple clips or whatever the amount was that they got to watch of the actual season were you nervous of how they were going to perceive you because of your situation with Jeremiah?

Hell yeah.

I was sitting here.

I was just like, okay, great.

So they're all gonna think I'm crazy.

Um

fabulous.

I'm walking in here.

I'm just like, and I'm even like, I'm thinking in my brain, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna sit here going into this, happy as fuck, and I know that these guys watch everything.

Is this gonna fuck up every like, I'm like, damn it.

The beginning, the guys are being buddy buddy, can't explore.

I fucked up my

thing in the beginning by being too close off can't explore this dude doesn't want me can't explore him going into Casa more thinks I'm a crash out great girl

you could only go up from there yeah that's a positive way and I think it surprised a lot of the CASA boys like I really did the number one thing they all kept telling me was like huda you're cool as fuck

They're like you're actually really fucking cool.

I'm like, what are they doing?

Like what like

Like why do y'all all think I'm like terrible going into CASA?

I mean people talked about how they really respected you because you tried to literally explore with everyone, and I think a lot of people respected that.

I'm thank God.

You connect with Chris, but so did Shelly.

What was your understanding of how she felt about him?

So, so from the beginning, when I first saw him and we were sitting next to each other at the fireplace, at the fire pit,

I was always making side jokes.

I don't know if any of these are showing on camera, but like I was always making little side jokes.

He would laugh at everything I said.

And humor is so big to me in relationships.

Like I'm goofy as fuck and I need a goofy person.

I was a fucking theater kid.

Like I'm very goofy, very weird.

Like we love that.

So I'm sitting there making like little jokes and I have a lot of sarcasm.

Like I do a lot of sarcasm.

I roast the fuck out of people.

I have a guy best friend and a girl best friend.

Like, and we're all the same way.

It's like, it's just my sense of humor.

Some people, they're very sensitive and they can't take that type of humor.

And that's okay.

Like, it's something in the world.

I just won't make those jokes with you.

That's fine.

But like, like, you know, I'm sitting here and I'm just having these jokes and doing sarcastic comments.

And he is eating the shit up.

And I'm like, hell yeah.

You think I'm funny?

Like, fuck yeah.

Because in the villa,

no one gave a shit about nothing I would say.

I say something, it's

I'm just like, okay, great.

And I'm in the, I'm in Costa Moore.

Oh, we love Huna.

She's great.

I'm like, yes, like, you guys like me.

I was like, thank God.

been.

I was so isolated.

I was like, you think I'm funny?

Like, okay, so you, you, though, knew that Shelly kind of was interested?

So I knew she was interested in him.

Okay.

Um, obviously, she picked him for the kiss.

When I didn't pick him for the kiss, it literally wasn't a I'm not interested in you.

I literally said, and Beacha, I don't know if it was showing, but I said in Beacha, how I don't know who I want, which is true, because I want to get to know you.

Learning from my mistakes, I want to get to know them.

That's what I was doing.

You know what I'm saying?

So it's like, of course, I don't know who I want.

JD picked me out and picked JD.

That was not my decision at all.

So can you clarify?

Did you bring Chris back to the villa for you, for Shelly, or for both of you?

For both of us.

I've literally said this so many times.

Explain it again because people still don't get it.

I've said it so many times.

I literally said, I'm sitting there in the dressing room with her

i have this great idea

chris likes me i like chris chris likes you you like chris i haven't found a match in here i haven't even explored him because i'm thinking he doesn't want nobody else because you're making it seem that way

but i took a chance last minute i took so crazy how cards play out

so crazy take a chance and i go and i bring him for a chat we have a conversation goes well he likes me i like him Cool.

Great.

We're interested in getting to know each other.

I can get to know somebody.

Cool.

First time in a minute.

Great.

So I was like, okay, I have this great idea.

Let's do this.

I'll bring Chris back.

You with Ace.

That way, you can still explore Chris and I can explore Chris as well.

And you can still explore Ace.

Like, it's a happy...

I'm sitting here being like, we're going to be great.

Like, this is great.

Like, we're happy as fuck.

That all made sense to me.

So then, like, and I don't want to be tear tear-to-a-more.

That's the other thing.

Like I'm trying to completely change.

Like I'm trying to be a better person, not just like

as myself, but in relationships.

I'm trying to be better.

So what the fuck do you think got lost in translation between you and Shelly?

Beats me.

Like I'm sitting here, and this is the thing.

Like I felt like everyone kept talking about me and no one was talking to me.

No one was asking me.

So what is XYZ123?

Like, what did you say specifically?

What this and this and this.

And I think there's like little relationships in there that are a lot stronger than me and other ones.

And no one gave a fuck about my opinion.

I would try to talk about things in a lot of scenarios where

there's a lot of situations where I would be like, Hey,

can I talk to this about you?

Or do you think this?

And people would dismiss me multiple times in the villa.

I felt like I had no one.

Like I, I was, I wanted to talk about things with people, and no one would give a fuck.

And

I think that a lot of people were just talking to Shelly, and there was things that were said that weren't said.

And it's just like you're dragging shit and you're making things seem otherwise.

And

that fucks me up.

Now everyone is yanging up on my ass.

And all you could have done is had a conversation with me.

Okay.

When you,

there were so many conversations about like who's being a girl's girl.

Can you, from your perspective, explain to me how do you balance friendship while competitively trying to pursue love?

I think that in the villa, people would always tell me, even when I was with Jeremiah, they're like, everyone's here to explore.

Everyone's going to explore.

You're not closed off.

Everyone's going to explore.

Things are, you know,

you can't take it too seriously, blah, blah, blah.

No one owns anybody.

So I'm taking all of these things that people are telling me to try to learn this process and kind of like do it better.

And I'm carrying that with me.

And in that, that being said, I'm getting shitted on for it.

And everyone had their opinions on us too.

This is fake.

They don't really like each other.

Because in CASA in general, like I really kept a lot of things to myself just from me being so expressive about Jeremiah in the beginning and how that played out for me.

It's like, I don't want to tell everybody everything.

Like, I don't.

Okay, I have to ask, this is a little bit of a pivot, but.

The moment with Amaya in the standing on business challenge, why did you not speak up for her?

I wanted to speak up in that moment i think i was trying to and then everyone kept talking over me and it was a thing where like if i yelled they'd be like hudda be quiet

and i'm just like

yeah well that was fucking rough um okay you better be fucking honest with me right now come on what really happened between you and ace in this goddamn heart rate challenge

oh why is everyone thinking i went too far yes oh okay so you know you know when i was doing the it was like the dominant versus the missile challenge?

Yes.

Where like I kind of just go like, like,

to everybody?

So, well, not to everybody, to Jeremiah?

I did the same thing to all the guys.

Wait.

Okay, slow down.

From like, from like dick up.

Like, I went like, okay, wait.

There is a, there's a clip of your gorgeous, bodacious ass

turning from you forward-facing to him to you

doing a little spin around

ass near face, and then it cuts.

And then we see you guys, like, getting up.

And the theory online is that you put your ass in his face.

Is that

true?

Why are you looking at me like that?

Because it's so funny.

I'm just like, that's no ass.

Like, did you ride his face a little bit with that?

No.

Were those ass cheeks a little around his?

No, I think that's too far.

Like, that's a no-go.

My butt, I think, was like on his stomach area, like this area right here.

Okay.

And I was twerking.

And I got, it was like two seconds too.

I literally went, I went da-da-da, and I got up.

I'm so dead up.

So there were no cheeks suffocating?

No,

the only thing that ever happened was when I accidentally fell on Taylor in that fucking woodchuck wood challenge shit.

Like, that is the only time

Taylor was like, I fucking love my life right now.

I flew back.

I was like, fuck.

I literally said, I'm so sorry.

I get up.

I'm looking at Jeremiah.

I'm like, fuck.

Like, I fucked up.

I did not mean to do that.

No, I did not put my ass in on whatever the fuck Ace's face.

That did not happen.

Okay, more importantly, where the fuck did you learn how to shake your ass like that?

Girl, I learned.

Even when I had like no booty, I learned.

My friends taught me, girl, I would be there in the mirror just practicing.

I would take little videos of myself trying.

I remember when I started to get a little booty from working out, I remember I would literally be like, be like, oh my god, it's moving.

Oh my god, it's kicking.

Like, it's, it's moving.

Like, press.

Girl, that is a fucking skill.

Thanks.

Okay, we got to talk about Chris.

Now let's get like a little bit more into the weeds here because motherfucking shit, this shit went south.

Viewers were excited for you to have a connection in the villa.

And you guys get back and we do quickly kind of see issues start to arise.

A big issue in you and Chris's relationship was that he felt like you were touchy privately, but not publicly.

Why?

And I know you said it was because of Jeremiah, but like, can you really describe why you did not want to do PDA with him?

Um, okay, so like in my brain, it's like, okay,

undercovers,

private, in a separate room, private.

I don't like, and mind you, I was doing it with Jeremiah, but like until I see it in my face, like, for example, like, like, in Irish and Pepper would do it all the time to piss me off, like, just to be funny.

They'd be like, Huda, look away.

And they'd be kissing.

And then I'd look over and be like, oh, my God.

Like, I don't want to see that shit.

I don't want to do that.

Also, the entire time with Jeremiah, everyone has their opinions on our relationship because we're so touchy in front of everybody.

It's like,

maybe I don't want people to have their opinions and talk about us and whatever.

Like, I just want to keep that to us.

Is that a crime?

I mean, I got it.

I think I couldn't get why he kept fucking lingering and like really couldn't get over it.

There's reasons why I wouldn't either, too.

Why?

There was so many things that he was doing that were not shown at all.

And I think

that, like, all of those things played into me not wanting to kiss him sometimes.

Like, can you just give an example of what you were experiencing that was playing into you not wanting to kiss him?

Yeah, no.

So he had a wandering eye.

He was definitely looking at other girls, even if it was off-camera, would say things about other girls.

And it's like, why are you talking about a girl like that in front of me?

And he would have little cute nicknames for girls.

And

he would

say, shut up.

He would, a lot too.

He, that was

to shut up so many times where I was like,

this isn't like joking.

He didn't even talk to me that way.

Yeah, he always was saying that to you.

Yeah.

And a lot of times, like, and I think that people were saying that I was being rude in certain ways.

There's sometimes in my joking way of talking sometimes, like when I'm just like, Rob, be so for real.

Like, and I talk like that.

And it sounds like I'm being really mean, but when you know my humor, like, that's how I talk.

Um,

i can't remember there's like one specific moment i had seen a clip of me talking i was like damn i can see how that sounds mean it was in a joking manner but i can see how that sounds mean and that's happened a lot too i mean people don't understand my humor but there was a lot of things that played into me not wanting to kiss him because i'm like you're not doing the things i'm asking you to do so why would i kiss you in front of other people right girl he would never talk to me during the day but he would talk to every single girl he would i would walk in the mornings and i would get all cute and like i remember there was one specific moment i was in a green bikini and like some white shorts and I felt so cute that day.

And I walked down the stairs, he is not looking at me, even, but he's having a full conversation with Shelly.

Like, doesn't even

just full.

And this would happen with multiple girls in the villa.

Like, he would do this, and it's just like, damn, say good morning.

And everyone's like, why didn't you say good morning?

Because it's like, this has been happening for a while since I noticed he started having a wandering eye.

And that's when I was like, okay, I'm not about to start trying to get his attention.

I'm not about to do what I did before and like be needy.

I'm not doing that.

Like

it seemed like Chris, it was like randomly just kind of like told

everyone that you guys had sex without talking to you.

Bro, he didn't fully do anything.

That's the other part.

Oh, really?

Girl, it was like halfway.

It wasn't even all the way.

Like, he, we didn't, like, that's the other thing.

You're like, it was like this.

Like, it wasn't even the full shebang.

Like, I'm just like, you're over here, like, yeah, we had sex and we did this, and I fucked this girl.

She's so fine.

Shut up.

Like, you barely put that shit in.

Don't even.

And it's not because I couldn't take it.

That's for fucking sure.

Like, bitch, shut up.

I like that shit irritated the fuck out of me.

But did you two even have a conversation that you were like chill with him even saying that shit, or is he just going around and saying that shit?

Girl, he knows how I feel about me, about people sharing business of mine.

I think we all do.

Amen, sister.

Like,

I learned that today.

You're like, shut up.

Nothing between us.

You want to know what's funny?

In bed, I literally said, keep this between us.

You think I'm going to tell him, honey?

You think I'm going to tell him,

I'm like, okay.

Like, okay, I know he's not going to tell me.

Then he goes and does it.

You told me you weren't going to do it.

And I don't think that was shown on camera.

But he took in bed.

A lot lot of the conversations in bed were never shown.

But that's when everybody starts getting Lovey Devi and talking real a lot.

So just an FYA.

But yeah, in bed, he told me he wouldn't.

Oh, my God.

I'm just like, be for real, brother.

Go back and play basketball.

Yeah, you were good.

Yeah, exactly.

Thank you.

I'm just kidding.

No, it's fine.

You're sorry.

I just don't know.

I haven't watched anything.

Can you explain to me this pillow fight situation?

So I had a nose job.

Yep.

Looks great, by the way.

Thanks, Queen.

I had a nose job

like a few months ago.

He threw this pillow.

Mind you, it might have not been on purpose.

I don't, like, I don't think it was on purpose.

But even I kept saying, I was like, bro, you picked the hardest pillow and threw it at my face.

You saw the way you threw that shit?

Girl.

You're 6'8.

Your hands are the size of my face.

And you chuck a pillow at my face.

Girl, it like.

Do you process things in your brain?

I'm just like, you got fucked.

You got wacked.

Girl, and I'm sitting here and they're like, she's so dramatic.

It's like she got shot.

Get the fuck out of my face.

That shit hurt so bad.

I couldn't even touch my fing my nose like like, like lightly like this without it being in so much pain.

Did he apologize?

He goes, sorry.

Cuddles his pillow.

Let's quickly talk about the peaks in the pits.

It was so fucking sad.

You're all sitting at this goddamn dinner.

Everyone's like, let's talk about our peaks.

You get to Chris.

The motherfucker is like, my two peaks are playing basketball with the boys and seeing my fucking family.

And you're sitting directly across from him and he doesn't mention you at all.

Can I tell you I clock everything?

And these are all things that put in the back of my mind.

You're like, you won't give me a moment.

Bitch, be so for real.

How did that make you feel when he wouldn't even mention you?

I sat there and I'm just like, I think there were so many things that were showing me that this man did not like me in that way or like was losing feelings in some way.

And it's like, okay, it felt like the more I would talk about what I needed, the more he would pull back and like act like he was so nonchalant.

And it's like, okay, great that's fine but i'm not gonna yell at you about it i'm gonna sit here i'm just gonna put it in the back of my mind and carry on okay wait the snuggling moment though what's up you wake this man up in the dead of sleep and oh girl he was not asleep this man was not asleep he purposely rolled over and was just standing there like this stiff as a board like standing there like this and i'm like hey hey he's not listening so i'm like

to his lip i'm like brother i know you're awake And he's just like

acting like he's asleep.

He just rolled over.

Like he's sitting there acting like he's dead asleep.

And I'm like, dude, why the fuck are you ignoring me, bro?

Like, and you're like, if you don't cuddle me, I'm going to be mad at you tomorrow.

Because I was so over it because I brought it up so many times.

And you just smacked me in the fucking face.

I got fucking tape on my nose looking like the fucking Notre Dame or whatever the fuck, like over here.

And you, brother, you're sitting here and you're just like, oh.

You're like, I'm going to count to three.

Yeah, dude, I'm trying everything.

I tried everything.

I got down to, okay, you want me to treat you like a child?

Yeah, I'm going to sit here, bitch.

Was that the correct thing to do?

No, I should have just left it and just left it alone.

But you keep telling me that you're going to fix this and fix that and do this and do that.

And it's like you're not doing it.

And it's getting to that point where I'm like, brother, this is so...

irritating to me because it's every single night.

You know when like they say like the guys will give you 100% and then they'll take away 20, give you another 10, take away 20, give you kind of like it to me, that's how it was feeling.

And I'm trying my best to be on my best behavior.

And I'm just like, I'm trying to be a better person.

Like, I am trying, like, and if you say I'm not, bitch, look at the first, like, like, I'm, I'm trying.

So, like, was it correct for me to count down?

But, girl, I went down to my last option.

Um, Chris's ex,

ex alleged ex posted on TikTok that he has a track record of being cold and passive-aggressive.

Can Can you confirm from your experience with him?

Yes.

Um, take me to the motherfucking.

It's so easy.

I'm sorry.

You're like, yes, yes.

And what else?

Oh, yes.

Yes.

The water moment.

This has gone viral, obviously.

You and Chris are having this final dinner and you're sitting there together and you're breaking up.

And oh my god, it was so funny.

Oh my god, Huda.

When I watched that, I died laughing because I know exactly what happened in that moment.

Okay, what?

So it's just so funny.

He,

um,

because it made him look like he was doing his big one.

What I had done when he walked up to me, like, after he had walked away initially, I told him, and I was just like, hey, like,

are you going to carry me or like, should I walk?

Because mind you, there's like rocks in the water and it's like murky and there's like maybe dirty things in there.

Like, I don't know, glass.

I have no idea.

I don't want to walk on that barefoot.

And so I'm like telling him, I'm like, I'm like, okay, like, do you, do you want to like carry me or am I going to walk?

And he's just like, I'm not going to carry you.

And I said, okay, then I'll walk my fucking self.

Are you here?

And then he walked away.

And in the moment, so you guys had broken up, and I was curious because I feel like every girl, I hope, can see through that.

He was kind of being like, I don't care what you want to do.

And I personally felt like it was such a cop-out where it was like, he wanted you to be the one to end it.

He was going to play victim.

You can take the blame, and he's the victim.

I know.

And did you know?

And did you feel it in that moment?

Yes.

Yeah, that was tough to watch.

I'm sitting here and I'm trying not to argue.

Like, I'm trying my best, like, to just have a civil conversation.

I was told so many times, it's the most mature conversation I've ever had.

Like, I'm sitting here and I'm just like, okay, great.

You're putting all of this into my hands.

And you're like, no, I want things to work with you.

Like, I want it to work out.

And you're doing everything you possibly can do to make me think otherwise.

And you're putting it all on me.

So pick your decision.

So, what are you going to do?

And I'm just like, okay.

Well,

I'm just like,

is this what I want?

No.

And I'm not settling.

I'm not settling.

Where do you guys stand today?

Cordial.

Before this comes out.

I don't give a fuck.

You'll be fine.

You'll say this to his face.

I've told him all.

He knows every single thing I've said right now.

He's heard already.

He's posting a little on social media acting like you guys are really fine.

I wonder why.

Me too.

You know, a lot of people are.

Or trying to.

Trust me, I've clocked all of this stuff.

Do you realize you made history?

You and Chris made history kit together as the first couple to break up during the finale.

You know, congratulations.

I sat there.

I sat there after it happened.

I was like, has anyone ever done this before?

I was like, is this like, is this like something everyone's like,

that that goes for standing on business, bitch.

You can't say I'm fake.

That's for fucking sure.

You can't say I was going after that fucking money, bitch.

Like, that's all I have to say.

I stayed real as fuck this entire fucking season.

Even if it was was messy even if it was messy i'm real as shit okay let's talk are there any toxic patterns that you recognized within yourself from being on love island that you are gonna try to move forward and break in your future dating life um yes one talking over other people when they're talking i'm working on that

um two

I think being a little clean early on.

Three, there's a lot, honestly.

I'm working on myself, bitch.

Oh, it's good.

I think, like, not getting too defensive about things sometimes.

Um,

I always say taking accountability.

Like, I always want to make sure I'm taking accountability for things.

Um,

you tell me.

I feel there's, there's a lot that I'm like, no, I think that's it.

I think it's like everything that you've talked about today and knowing more about your childhood, I think

you experienced certain things that as a young girl, you should never have had to seen or experience.

But what we all now know, especially because thankfully mental health is a larger topic, it's like we now know that whatever your childhood was, it plays a fucking massive part into who you become and who you are.

And so the fact that you

are in moments repeating patterns, whether you are getting love bombed, it's like there is a reason you're doing that, Huda.

There is a reason that you are genuinely so excited when someone is showing you love.

Because look back at the beginning of this fucking episode.

You had a parent who you trusted, and they completely abused their power and their love and all the things, and you didn't feel safe ever.

So, if someone's making you feel safe and loved, why the fuck wouldn't you be excited to embrace that and enjoy that for even a fucking second, even if it doesn't last long?

So, it's now on you to take what happened to you in your childhood and now be like, I am now a grown-ass woman and I'm going to do the fucking work so I cannot repeat the patterns and also not let what my parents did in my childhood did define who I am as a woman.

But I'm actually going to take that shit.

I'm going to learn from that shit and I'm going to be better from that shit.

And I know what happened on Love Island was a lot for you mentally, but I do believe even sitting with you today and getting to know you, like I can feel it in you.

Like you don't like this shit.

No one wants to be in a toxic relationship because there's fucking shit in you that you still got to work on and that's okay.

Don't we fucking all?

Yeah.

And another thing is, I know that there's this thing going around that like they told me I had to act right in order for me to stay on the show.

And then I also got told that someone was like, oh,

you know,

they had to put her in psych all the time.

Like, but first of all, I would voluntarily go to psych on my own.

I would voluntarily go on my own if I felt like I needed to have a conversation about something because I didn't feel like I could have conversations with the girls around me,

I needed a woman to talk to.

That's when I would go to psych.

And

when I felt like there was a time where I felt more emotional, I would go to psych.

I wouldn't, I wasn't a, we're so like, you are mentally unstable.

It was never that.

Like, because people knew who I was.

Like, they knew the real me.

I absolutely needed to talk.

Yeah, I need to have a conversation.

And it's like, I know I have things to work on.

Nobody's perfect.

No, fuck no.

That's why I think I'm like a little exhausted and tired of the conversation about you online.

I'm like, guys, let's fucking calm down.

Like, I think again, what I was saying earlier is like, I watched fucking season two of UK Love Island.

I was all the way back in those days watching that shit.

If your shit was called a crash out, these motherfuckers are up for murder.

Like, this shit was fucking unhinged.

Like, you've never seen.

It's like, I think we have to put in perspective what the scenario was, the environment.

This is television.

Guess fucking what?

As much as people want to deem you as this, that, or the other, you gave us the best fucking TV.

And clearly, it seems like you do have good relationships with people in the villa.

You aren't this big villain that the internet has made you out to be.

I do want to just ask, though, like, how are you, though, mentally right now?

I'm fine.

I will say, like, I'm really happy I met Amaya.

She's awesome.

She sees me.

Like, she really does.

Like, I'm truly so grateful that I met that girl.

Like, she is there for me 24-7.

Even after this, like she's there for me.

And I'm there for her.

Like that is my girl.

And

Gregon,

I love her.

But

damn, I'm emotional today.

You caught me at a great time.

That'll be the thumbnail.

Just me crying.

Call her mommy.

So I am sick, period.

So I

love her.

And I feel like after this whole experience, it's like, I'm just just happy that I'm here.

I'm happy that there's so much love.

I'm happy that I'm able to not really focus on the hate.

And I'm happy that I have things that are more important to me, which is my family.

And those are things that I'm more focused on rather than hate.

Who are you closest to aside from Amaya?

Probably like Nick and Elandria.

I think a lot of people wanted to know like the amount of times Nick did vote you to go off.

How have you kind of reconciled?

I think that

I feel personally, I feel like he was influenced a lot in his decisions.

From my perspective, was that made, did that happen?

I don't know.

I think that everybody makes mistakes.

I'm all about second chances.

Alandra can tell you that.

She tells me all the time, like, you made me believe that people deserve second chances.

I always felt like no one deserves one and you see the goodness in people.

And

that's how I felt about Nick.

I love him to death.

Like, we were so close.

We were such good friends.

And,

you know, he keeps me in check.

I keep him in check.

Like, we're great.

But yeah, like, I do have good relations outside the villa.

But, you know, a lot of people

definitely are being a lot nicer.

And I clock it.

I do.

I see these things.

Okay.

I feel like I've put you in the hot seat enough today.

I get it.

The internet is going to be like, why didn't you ask her this?

Why didn't you ask her this?

Why didn't you, guys?

There's only so much time I can have with her.

Part two.

Part two coming soon um call her mommy i'll be back um okay i'm gonna ask you some burning questions who was the fakest in the villa sierra who was the worst kisser on the show see this is the thing i did say like oh my god i feel so bad but i really don't care because he doesn't even like me um

fucking jalen swallowed my whole face

that'll do it my entire face i'm sitting there like Who are you dreading seeing at the reunion the most?

I don't know.

I think I've seen everybody already, except for Jeremiah.

I mean, I'm not really dreading.

I really don't give a fuck about him

and like at all.

Yeah.

Do you guys think he'll have a conversation or no?

I already know he's going to be like,

like, we're all brands with it.

I already know.

Like, I already know he's going to do that.

Okay, last.

Who is the most exciting guy that has slid into your DMs since you got home?

Bitch, I can't even look at them shits.

Every time I fucking refresh them, hoes, they freaking, they refresh and there's too many.

I literally commented on someone's TikTok.

Someone was like, oh, yeah, Huda left single, but I look at like there's so many guys that are in her DMs.

I said, are we looking at the same DMs?

Do you know how to organize your DMs by blue check marks?

No.

Damn bitch, I got to teach you.

Do you want to do that now?

You kind of.

Just get my phone.

No, go.

None.

Like, I literally haven't read anything.

Oh, my God.

I am fucking dying at one of these.

We need to talk about this immediately.

You're fucking lying.

No, I'm not.

I have so much to tell you.

I'm like, damn, bitch, I just want to lay my life on you because there's so much about me that nobody knows.

Well, I was about to say, the minute the cameras go off, then we're going to keep talking, which is so annoying.

And I'm so sorry to say that, you guys, but you know that's we're about to yep

you're lying right

literally

we're gonna stay here forever and be like okay so come there's only wait what's going on so what about you i want to hear about you no you're like never it's 10 o'clock at night you're lying no i'm not kidding

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