Sarah Jessica Parker: How Carrie Bradshaw Changed Me

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What is up, Daddy Gang?

It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Sarah Jessica Parker, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Thank you, Alex.

Thank you for having me.

No, thank you for being here.

You don't even know.

I, when I started Call Her Daddy,

you were beyond, beyond, beyond, obviously the inspiration.

And then when I started interviewing people, you have been at the top, top, top of the list to sit down with.

So thank you for being here.

Oh my gosh.

Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

And especially in New York City, because I know it's not your home home.

But it was at one point and you're is it true that you're maybe coming back or is that just some

wishful hopeful rumor rumor no you know what i every time i get here i feel like i'm alive again not that i'm like dead in law but it has a certain kind of uh it's a very dynamic city and it sort of it does that to people when they step off the plane which is really curious because i think los angeles actually

actively does the opposite it's sort of,

it's just a quieter, less intrusive city on a person.

Completely.

I feel like I'm like entering my spa era when I go to LA and then I come here and I'm like, where are we going to dinner?

What's going on?

The night starts at midnight.

That's why you earlier were like, oh, did you have a late night?

Well, didn't you?

Did your documentary documentary?

So how did it go?

And what was the experience?

And how was it to, I'm sure you've seen it already.

Yes.

It was so nerve-wracking.

Was it really?

I'm sure you know.

Like, even as you've been in media for so long when you put out a piece of work that's just a little bit different than you're used to or even coming back right like you're like yeah it just feels you're anxious because you want people to like it yes but i feel really hopeful that people will perceive it in a positive way and so It was great.

But I'm going to be honest, I was like, okay, now I'm going to interview Sarah Jessica Parker.

So everybody, I'm going to bed.

I'm putting my face mask on.

Don't talk to me.

So I'm happy to be here with you.

Well, you're no worse for wear.

You look great.

You look amazing.

And I'm glad the night felt good and felt the way you hoped

it would feel.

Yeah, it's a big deal.

Us talking about LA versus New York.

You obviously live here.

You're a tried and true New Yorker.

What is your favorite part of living here?

I really feel like when I walk out the door, anything can happen.

And there are degrees of that being good and potentially.

awful.

Yes.

You're bumping into neighbors and you're bumping into the familiar, but every single day

I'm having exchange with or physically touching somebody who might never be on that street again.

You know, and I

really, really

love that.

And I always have.

There were these two young fellas.

I came out of our house yesterday and

stoops are a thing in New York.

And just because you own one doesn't mean it's yours.

It's everybody's stoop.

And I said, I spent decades sitting on other people's stoops.

And in my head, I dreamed one day, I hope I can have a stoop.

And so every time we come home and there's people on our stoop, people always move their stuff really quickly because they realize they're in the path.

And I'm always like, no, no, no, stay, stay, stay.

But yesterday I came out and there were two boys standing at the at the foot of the stoop.

And there was a penny heads up on the last step of the stoop.

And I said,

fellas, there's a penny.

Heads up.

Why are you not taking, grabbing this penny?

I guess my point of the story is, I would have had no other reason to talk to these guys on the street smoking pot.

You know what I mean?

Like they were just there and having a moment, like they were in between something and chatting.

And,

you know, I like imposed myself on them, but it was definitely a friendly exchange.

And they were sort of like, I think they felt like a friendly reprimand or or something, but that would never happen if I had gotten out of, if I got out of my house, I walked out of my house and I walked into a garage and I got into a car and I drove down the street.

I just wouldn't have.

I don't know if that's something that other people might like, but I do.

I love people just like loitering in front of my house.

It's fabulous.

Hold on.

Did they know who you are?

Yes, they

did.

It was like a slow burn.

But

our initial

our initial exchange was just three three people two of whom were not strangers what i was the stranger to them and i said to them fellas look down like don't walk around just here or here um

look down for your penny feel like sarah jessica we're high like babe i'm too high i'm not even looking at the goddamn penny so did you pick it up right i i picked it up and i i felt like maybe if they saw my enthusiasm for it they would they would pick up.

And next time they'd be all the wiser for it.

I think they will.

I think they will.

I don't know.

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You and public transportation.

Let's pause for a few seconds because

you have quite literally been seen on subways walking around the city.

You're one with the people in New York City.

Like everyone knows that.

How?

Like, how are you just like walking to your local deli and not getting attacked?

I mean, people always say hello and they talk or they nod.

I have headphones.

I'm not convinced that really does anything.

I have sunglasses, but I always have worn sunglasses.

It does, it doesn't really,

there's still

activity.

On the subway, people chat and talk.

But I will say people are so much more on their phones now that

you're not quite as

on the subway.

If I talk, people hear my voice.

That's similar to me, where my voice is more recognizable That I am always like, I'll be in an elevator with my husband.

And he'll be like, what do you want to do?

And I'm like, Matt?

Later.

Later.

Later, honey.

Later.

Wait, when you have your headphones on, are you actually listening to something?

Always.

What are you listening to?

Oh, my gosh.

Putting you on the spot.

Everything.

Podcasts.

Lots of music.

Mostly podcasts.

I don't listen to books on audio.

It'd be podcasts or music.

Yeah.

And are you faking phone calls?

I've almost never done that.

I think I've done it more with my children when I was outside recently and I knew that they wanted to talk to me and I needed to do something.

And I, but then I thought, oh, you know, there's a right and wrong way to do this because the phone.

If you're actually on a call, the phone looks one way.

The screen looks one way.

And if you're not, I think it's all just visible.

Yes.

I do have a privacy screen on my phone.

Okay, that helps.

And pro tip, you need to put it on do not disturb and you need to angle it towards your chin.

I fake phone calls all the time.

All the time.

You just tilt it so no one can see that you're like fully on your photo album and there's no phone call.

Okay, great.

I got you.

So it's always on do not disturb and do not disturb just doesn't allow for like a a lighting situation.

Got it.

Okay.

Can we talk about fashion?

Sure.

Because

I talk about your shoes.

I was about to say, we need to talk about my shoes.

I have, I don't usually dress up for interviews.

You look so beautiful.

Thank you.

Really?

And your hair is down and your hair is not in a pony or a clip.

Or I know I'm so

touched.

I love that you walked in.

You're like, wait, I'm dressed down and you're dressed up.

I know.

I felt like I went through three outfits before I came here, trying to telepathically

guess

what would be appropriate.

And then ultimately I realized, oh, the more I'm trying to be something else,

I look like an idiot.

You dress down as me dressed up.

Unless you showed up in sweats, I'd be like, okay, you got it.

So these shoes.

I have never worn open-toed heels on Call Her Daddy ever.

Ever in the history of ever.

And I probably never will.

I'm lovely on you.

Well, thank you.

But it's just an ode to Miss Carrie Bradshaw.

They are the shoes that you wore in the show, Running to the Ferry.

Yes.

This outfit was also loosely inspired by the green jersey.

I remember it.

With the cargo.

I was like, I have to recreate it.

I knew the minute I saw it.

And I don't actually remember a lot, but I remember outfits and cross streets.

Outfits and cross streets.

Yeah.

I didn't know if you would know the Jimmy Chews.

And the minute for everyone that didn't see this moment, She literally walks in the door.

She goes, hi, I'm Sarah Jessica.

Oh my gosh, I love the shoes.

I can't believe you're wearing the shoes.

Like, thank God she noticed.

And it was such a clever thing that Jimmy Chu just reissued.

Was it 2007?

Yes.

2008.

I can't remember the year of that line.

Yeah.

I got you, girl.

Those are really pretty shoes.

And

my

original pair,

we had two pairs for that episode because I lost one.

And I was running so much in them that they were getting trashed.

So they had a backup pair.

The pair that I wore

has

the glue under the feather has yellowed.

We, we pull them out all the time to have them on the show now because they're always like in the closet moving around.

And we have a new pair, but the new pair is of like, we have the unused pair, but it's of little interest to me because it has like no sentimental.

value.

So, but when I saw fresh pairs, I was like, wow.

They do look good.

That's what it's like with a fresh pair.

But I bet the yellow glue is even sexier it's pretty touching yeah i think so too i'm gonna add that to mine later okay pretend i was there feel something um the iconic looks that you've had how involved were you in carrie's style i think pat and molly would probably characterize this the same way it was it was always a real conversation and i

i'll try to paint a picture I'd come to a fitting.

It would be 11 o'clock at night at wrap, or it could be two in the afternoon.

And the fittings could be anywhere from two to five hours.

And that wouldn't always cover an episode.

So

I would walk in, there were racks of clothes, and that those, the, the quantity of racks grew and grew over the years.

Initially, nobody loaned us anything.

We couldn't get our hands on anything.

We had, I think, $10,000 originally.

per episode as a budget.

So I'd walk in and there would be racks of clothing and there would be ideas set per scene, per episode.

And we would talk about it.

They'd show it to me.

And I always tried everything on.

I don't, I didn't care how ridiculous or whimsical or even hideous it was that the joy it would bring the costume department to just see something on as, you know, it could be some crazy jumpsuit that they pulled out of someone's bin or a basement from 1971.

And it was like ill-shaped and sort of unattractive, but there was something great about it.

A lot of Polaroids.

So we work.

So, but then once we kind of figured out what we liked per scene and we knew that it fit with perhaps other people's fittings, if someone else had fit before me, we knew their colors, we would talk about it.

And then we would show the pictures to Michael.

or Darren, the showrunner.

Initially, it was Darren.

And then they'd have feelings.

They'd come back and we'd talk about it and we'd plead our case in some instances where they didn't want us to wear something.

And we had to sort of, you know, our case before the court.

But more and more so was the case that it's just big conversations.

And it usually starts about three months before we're shooting, even two months prior to prep.

Molly and I are already figuring out.

So I started my fittings in February for this season and we started shooting in April.

And your whole life, were you a big fashion girl or did this happen because of the show?

I wasn't somebody that

my mother really loved beautiful clothing and

we didn't have money to have beautiful clothing but she was very industrious and we lived in a wealthy neighborhood we were like the least wealthy people um the affordable house and you know in those days church tag sales and she was really smart about getting her hands on beautiful things for little or no money so in our home she liked beauty and she made some of her clothes she could sew so i grew up

understanding that

things were

worthy things were beautiful things were well made things were good quality fabric things were um hard to find that you know that taffeta or that file would be very expensive by the yard.

And so I understood it, but I didn't have my hands on a lot of it.

And then when I started living on my own, I would still see things in New York City that I understood to be good, but I didn't, or even important,

but I didn't necessarily have the financial opportunity to get my hands on them.

And I was pretty strict about

sort of what I thought would have a life.

I was thinking about it because I saw recently online, it was a part of an interview you did, and you talked about how you negotiated in your contract that you got to keep every single one of Carrie's outfits and you have it archived.

I'm like, Sarah, Jessica, how the hell did you pull that off?

And it's from episode one?

It's from episode one.

Yeah.

It's, you know, I will, none of the credit is mine because previous to Sex in the City, I started working with a new attorney before I even met my husband.

So about 35 years ago.

And

one of the most important things he said to me, outside of the fact that I think he's a terrific businessman and a great and fair attorney is that from the beginning of our relationship, he said, you should always keep your clothing, no matter what it is.

And he said, some studios are going to be harder to negotiate with about that because they like to have their own archive and that makes sense.

And he was totally right.

There are studios that really want to hang on to stuff.

So it's a very complicated dance to get your pieces.

But so by the time I was doing Sex in the City, it was just in my contract that I have everything.

I mean, with the exception of something that a designer loaned us that needed to go back or a consignment piece from a vintage shop.

But often, those same designers would end up saying, just keep it, have it be part of that archive.

So, yeah, it's a huge amount.

How often do your daughters ask to borrow clothes?

You know what?

So many people rightfully ask that.

They just don't.

They don't.

No, they're not girls.

They like clothing and

I'll get a text

couple times a month asking, can they purchase something?

They're, um, but they mostly, they mostly buy their clothes used almost entirely, which I think is pretty common now with girls, young women their age, they'll be 16 later this month.

Um,

so they're pretty steady.

They don't tend to be trend.

They don't move toward that.

They know they don't have a budget.

They don't have money with the exception of what they've earned.

And one of them is a little bit better at earning than another who's pretty,

she saves pretty well.

They both had jobs last summer.

Do they ask for fashion advice?

They'll ask me.

They'll ask me, you know, what do you think of that?

Or what about this dress for this occasion?

Maybe they'll ask about shoes.

My shoes don't fit them.

It's really a tragedy.

I'm actually not kidding.

I find it really tragic that that's actually the worst.

They can't.

One of them can

sort of

squeeze.

But their taste is different than mine right now, too.

Like what I have is not necessarily of interest.

They've never seen the show.

So they haven't an idea about what is available to them yet.

But I do give, I give them stuff of mine all the time.

All the time.

I think that makes sense, though, because I think back to my own mother.

And well, also my mom is not you.

So love you, Lori, if you're watching this, but my mom was like way more like polo and Bermuda shorts.

I'm like, that's not going to cut it for me.

I want something glamorous.

But as I got a little older, I started to really appreciate like her vintage Levi.

Yeah.

So maybe eventually, who knows, they will eventually like tap into the Carrie Bradshaw archive and be like, I need a, not maybe a dress for prom, still not that age, but maybe in their 20s, 30s.

I I would, yeah, and I would loan.

I think I would be happy to loan them anything out of my closet right now.

I don't really have as many clothes as people think.

What is a piece from Carrie's closet that you still wear today?

Nothing.

I keep,

I keep in my personal closet, which everything else is an archive.

I keep this belt.

that I named Roger, and I don't know why.

It's a belt

from

later

years, episodes.

It's a studded leather belt that Carrie wore a lot, a lot, a lot.

And it was, I think,

in the movie and it's reappeared.

Carrie, you know what?

I think Carrie first wore it when she was shopping in

DVF store in the meat packing and she had on a pink linen shift and around her waist was a hard leather belt, a vintage belt that's about this wide.

And it's studded and it's really old and hardy.

It's like a muscle.

And for some reason, I have that.

I never,

I never sent that to archive.

Yeah.

You don't know why you called it Roger?

I think we were reaching for it so much, which happens in fittings where something becomes like a favorite.

And it just kept being right for everything.

And so

I don't know why I named it Roger.

I just, it just seemed easier and more efficient to everyone know instead of saying the black leather with the studs and just Roger.

Roger.

Yeah.

Grab Roger.

How is your personal style different from Carrie's?

Very.

Not nearly as brave.

Not as

kind of not as

conscious about body and

what cloth, how clothes lay on a body,

which I guess has to do more with, like I said, being brave and just access to way more.

Like a much more, I always say it's like she has a much more fevered relationship to fashion than I have.

So she just has so much more.

It's so decadent, the amount of

things,

you know, pieces and layers and hats and

belts, shoes, obviously,

coats, gloves.

And I just don't have that, you know?

When you were referencing earlier that your kids don't really lean into trends, this is a very pressing question.

Oh my God.

I hope I'm capable of answering this.

You've got this.

Okay.

You've got this.

There is no right or wrong answer.

Okay.

Okay.

Sarah Jessica Parker, would you put a laboo boo on your designer bag?

What is that?

Oh my God, you guys are laughing at me.

No, no, no, no.

Wait, hold on a second.

What is?

Wait.

I just want you to know I don't own one of these, so don't judge me.

Someone put this on my bag earlier.

Oh.

So this is are these like

dolls they look like um

cupie dolls so people are buying these things again clarifying i've never bought one okay did someone send them to you someone in this room owns them we're not gonna judge no no no no i'm not judging at all it's a curiosity it's like a yeah it's like an archaeology like a dig

So people are buying these for extremely high price.

People are waiting in line for hours to get these things.

Do you think, do you feel comfortable telling me what you think one of them costs?

Like, is that a product?

For now, it's going higher because there's so few that people are trying to get these.

Wow.

Would you ever put this on your bag?

You can be honest, because I wouldn't.

I think I wouldn't, but not because I'm better than that and not because I'm above it.

I just.

It's not your style.

I don't think I ever hung a lot from a bag.

Even when scarves started being tied around bags.

Oh, yes.

People are adding things to bags and chains a lot, but you've never been a chain-adding bag girl.

No.

Because so SJP's not putting a laboo boo on a birth.

But once again, not because I don't care for it or think it's silly.

Everybody, do what you want.

Yes.

100%.

Do what you want.

Yes.

And now, how long has this been happening, this laboo boo thing?

It's a new trend for sure.

I would say this past month, it's really popped off.

People have had it for a little bit, but it's really.

So you just said something.

Did you say popped off?

Popped off.

Yes.

So that means

like really big.

Became big.

Like a thing.

Yeah.

Okay.

Viral.

Yeah.

Did it go did Laboo.

Your daughter was like, yes, mom, pop off queen.

Oh my God.

Okay.

Let's go back for a second.

You mentioned obviously your mom and where you guys lived.

Everyone obviously knows you as a New York girl, but you're from Ohio.

Yes.

I moved to New York when, um, on January 1st of 1977.

So I was 11 or 12.

Yes.

What was that?

What was your hometown like?

Cincinnati.

Wonderful.

We go back to Cincinnati all the time.

It is a very impressive, exciting city.

Okay, I'm going to say

it's beautiful.

It's beautiful.

Done.

Yeah.

Seven siblings?

Yes, I'm one of eight.

What was the dynamic like in your house?

Like, was it chaotic ever?

Yeah, it was chaos all the time.

It was my mother amazingly survived.

My mother just,

it was a military operation without any of the infrastructure.

So she was really

strict and scary and had very high standards.

And

I'm going to use the phrase that she yelled, but as a parent, I can now recognize that it wasn't yelling.

It's the level you need to speak at when you're trying to organize packs of people and get people

wrangled.

But it was, you know, a messy house, a loud house.

It really funny and there was always a record on or music or the news and yeah, like always

something.

Yeah, always noise, always.

Can you describe yourself as a kid?

Very curious.

I would probably say that I was nosy as well.

Like I wanted to

I wanted to hear and know

everything.

I stared a lot at people.

Like I was always

looking at everybody.

I liked any new thing.

I liked any chance to get out of the house.

I loved going to the theater.

Cincinnati has a really incredible theater called the Playhouse in the Park.

And my father was a stage manager there.

So we went to a lot of theater and University of Cincinnati, their conservatory has an incredible theater department.

We went to the ballet all the time.

Like there was a lot of opportunities to be outside, like literally and psychically.

Eventually you get to New York City.

Can you tell me though, like once you really start

working and acting in your early days, what was the hardest lesson you had?

to learn in those like kind of beginning big days of acting?

You just don't get the job.

You don't get the job.

You just audition and audition and audition and audition and you don't get the job.

And it's,

there's something about it that's very bleak sincerely,

but it's the very best thing that can happen to you.

And I know people kind of frame all conversations about building a career that way.

And it's probably true across industries.

There's a lot of virtue that we put on failure.

And I'm not quite talking about failure.

I'm talking about

getting better at trying, getting better at auditioning, plain and simple in my case, just

being better at it, maybe being more prepared, maybe being more comfortable, better certainly at not getting the job and having it not

like crater you.

So the biggest lesson I got from those early days is, yeah, you pick yourself up and you move on.

And in my case, you know,

I didn't have,

like, I needed to support myself.

By the time I was really on my own, which I moved out when I turned 18, I had a little money in the bank from Square Pegs, but not a big amount.

I knew exactly how much money I had in the bank.

And I took it out like very judiciously.

I tried to get by on $40, like for three days

because I just didn't know for sure.

I knew I would work,

but the investment, the 10 auditions for the one job or the 20, but I just simply think it's really good for us.

And I feel like you're so much more equipped even to have this conversation because you're constantly talking to people your age and younger about

how to pursue something and have it be meaningful and the difference between that

and pursuing success.

And there's this big chasm that exists between creating a career and having that be your destination

and having your destination being success or fame or wealth.

And I think they're at odds.

Yes, I agree.

There's a lot of times where when you're talking about getting rejected, essentially, in these moments, which is so hard, when you love something and something is your true passion, yes, of course, everyone has an ego and it's going to sting, but a lot of times you can turn it around and self-motivate again to be like, I'm going to just keep going because this is the thing I want so badly, which I know in your case, like with Broadway and all of it, like this is who you are to the core.

You've wanted this.

You want to be performing, right?

In some capacity.

Performing but not famous.

Exactly.

Performing but not rich.

Performing but not wealthy.

Performing but not powerful.

Like none of that used to exist as

something you work toward.

Now

I'm not speaking for everybody, but I don't recall any conversation

ever for the majority of my youthful career when I was building one that I heard anybody talk about

fame or any of the collateral stuff that accompanies that.

And

I just feel like it was healthier for all of us, you know, and I don't not, I'm not entirely sure I understand

what all the other stuff really

adds.

I mean, there's security and financial gain.

There is so much and it's such a relief to be able to pay your bills.

But I don't know.

No, I will add to that.

I think a lot of people, one, it is way

there is more ability to get fame nowadays.

It's, it's almost like it's quite accessible, especially with the internet.

Yeah.

And I think, yes, it's almost like take finances out of it.

Of course, money can help in so many ways.

Like that isn't obvious.

But fame as a concept, I actually think it's the rise and people getting to it that they think it's going to solve something within themselves.

And if you probably ask anyone with fame, how do you feel about the fame?

Everyone's going to be like, well, I actually love my job, but I hate that part of it.

So it's almost like once you get to that top, don't, if you're going for the fame, you're not going to actually feel fulfilled because there's actually nothing within fame.

Yeah.

And it's too elusive.

You can't, it's unreliable.

It's fickle.

But I feel like we both have to be so careful.

Like, there's nothing wrong with wanting to have people know who you are.

And I, I, and I think it, all the water, all the water is like very muddied.

Yes.

You then eventually got fame.

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Let's talk about sex in the city.

What was your first impression of Carrie Bradshaw?

I really liked her.

I mean, mean, I was, I would say more than even liking her.

I

just found it very compelling.

All I had was the pilot script.

I did know who Candace was because I was a New Yorker and I knew about her column in The Observer.

We all knew that paper because it was pink, which is unusual for.

That's a broadsheet, I think.

But, and somebody had sent me the book and I don't know why.

So I was familiar with her work.

The script was was pretty slight, like it wasn't a long pilot.

But first of all, the way she was

speaking, like her choice of language,

I

never

seen or heard a woman talk like that.

And there was a kind of darkness to the pilot script that I thought was

very exciting to imagine.

And there is the last

moment, as described, almost entirely in stage direction, is she meets this fellow big.

He gives her a ride.

He says, Hey, can I give you a ride?

They have a sort of

flirty,

slightly withholding conversation in the back of a town car.

I miss a town car.

And do you know what a town car is?

I do.

I do.

You guys don't know what a town car is.

Do you?

If you saw it, you too would be a town car.

And

he asks Carrie, you know, have you ever been in love?

And she says something flippant to him about, I don't remember what she says.

And he drops her off at her apartment and she gets out.

And the cameras, as described, I think in the pilot script, the camera stays on Carrie and she walks toward her apartment door.

And she quickly turns around and she goes up to the window and she knocks on the window, like with her knuckles.

And he,

he rolls it down.

And she says, have you ever been in love?

And he says, Can I curse?

Okay.

He says, Absolute fucking lootly.

But he doesn't say it like that.

He says it beautifully.

He says, Absolute fucking lootly.

And she turns around and walks back to

her door.

And his car, I think, pulls away in the background.

And the camera just freezes on her.

And I was like,

well,

now we got a story.

And I just was

like, well, where could this,

where could it possibly end?

You can just, whether these two together or separately, there's so much.

It felt to me that there was a huge amount there.

I have chills.

You just describing that.

I'm like, okay.

Like, it was perfect.

What did you admire the most about her?

Her kind of candor, her curiosity about.

sex and sexual politics, which is not like me.

I don't talk about that at all, even with friends.

I'll talk about it globally, but not, I don't sit and share intimate details of my life that way.

I liked that she was sort of circumspect about when she wrote that she had a kind of thing about

this was what happened and how,

well, how does it relate to the world?

How does it relate to other women?

And I admired that she was

scrappy, you know, she was like a little survivor.

She had like instincts to like

keep her head, not always making smart choices and falling short of being

the best friend or the best girlfriend or her best self.

But I also was very happy that they were writing her that way.

Was there anything that frustrated you about Carrie?

So,

no.

And yeah.

And I say that

like slightly chagrined because

I know

as much as I don't read anything, you can glean that people, there's a sentiment sometimes that she's frustrated or she's selfish or she makes poor decisions or she doesn't manage her money well.

Yeah, all of that has been true over the course of the last 25 years.

But she's also been like hugely loyal, decent, reliable, a really good friend, generous, available, present, comforting,

given of herself in,

you know, in big and small ways that are private and public to her and among her friends.

And she loves, like,

so

frustrated.

If I were watching her and if I were her friend and I would see a misstep or see her keep repeating something, you know, whatever, however, she was choosing to deal with big,

I'm sure I would feel frustration or I would feel like,

but as an actor playing it,

I want all of it.

I want all of it.

And also, I think we forgive our male characters,

our male leads.

We have no problem if they're, you know murderers right you know like we have honestly like

so true my favorite show in that period is sopranos like it's my

and i love tony soprano like

i don't know if you guys watch sopranos but it's one of the great television shows in the history of american television but tony soprano was a deeply flawed man

But we didn't talk as much about that as we did Carrie having an affair with a married man.

You know, it was just very curious to me, or they'd say she's selfish.

And I was like, I can give you 10 reasons and ways in which she wasn't.

And you're like hyper-fixated on this.

So frustrated, no, but

I can absolutely understand

if you're along for the ride, you can be like, lady, girl.

It's such a good point.

I think it's so fair.

And I think that's also a lot of even criticism also comes from women.

And I think it's just because we criticize ourselves so much.

Yeah, we're very good at that.

We're beyond.

Yeah.

A plus in that category.

But I think when people are watching a lot of times, I even felt like you really become so obsessed with these women that maybe a lot of the critique is because these, we actually, as viewers, are like, no, you're my best friend, Carrie.

Like, I'm with you, but like, we got to get it together.

I got scared to hear you as an actress being like, oh, I loved her.

And I, but I so get where you're coming from, but like, doesn't bother me.

And I,

I think that, um, the way you characterize that, that kind of voiced frustration is so

wonderful.

Even if they're mad, even I feel like, gosh, to be part of something that is, um,

that people have such strong feelings for and against.

And those feelings can change and they think they're made they've made decisions about people and then the people surprise them.

And Carrie matures too um

but

there wouldn't really be a show if she had

been

a more stellar consistently stellar human being there's no there's that's that's it the end done yeah done at the pilot see you all bye yeah um

The show really celebrated female confidence.

Behind the scenes at that time in your life, how did you feel about yourself?

Probably the same level of confidence one feels on their best day and the lack of it that one feels on a middling or your worst day.

And I do think that

being

on

a television show in particular

that

grabs people's attention

was probably a real test of

coping, like my coping mechanisms, because I wasn't prepared.

And this was before social media.

So I really wasn't prepared for public commentary.

And I think that is, that was

really unpleasant at times where people would have opinions, not about the work.

Everyone's allowed to, everyone's a critic, but at the time there were fewer of them and they had their feelings about the show.

And Sometimes I felt like we all felt like, well, you're not really, you're misunderstanding, but that's a separate thing.

That's like an academic conversation.

It was the personal stuff that I was

really not prepared for.

So

at that time, I thought I was a fairly competent person, not boastful, not,

it wouldn't be a competence you could detect.

It was just the way you get up every day and try to get on with your life and take care of yourself and the people you care about and love.

But I think it really comes into question and is tested when

you're kind of filleted in a way, when you're opened up.

And I know you know this,

we're better for

those kinds of experiences, but not all of us are good at it right away.

And it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Yes.

And I think that was the thing is that up to that point,

I would just, I just never had

people

have, and there was no chatter about me.

There was no chatter about me.

There was just my work.

What were some of the comments that would be the hardest that got you?

I think just discussions of my physical person, like stuff that I couldn't change and wouldn't change and had never considered changing, or

even still after hearing something that was like, what?

Somebody would say that, even still,

no interest in changing it.

And also,

and I think once again, you can appreciate this and you've,

I feel like you found a better way.

I didn't feel like it was actually a conversation.

I didn't feel like I could sit in a room and someone would say to me, you're really unattractive.

And then I could say, wow,

well,

first of all, that's like hard to hear.

But second of all, why are you why are you, why do you seem angry about it?

Or why do you feel it's necessary to say say it to comment

and i think it was really only only one time

um and i don't really remember specifically the occasion except it was brought to my attention that a magazine said something really

um

really mean about

you know who i am how i look

and i was like

i was like someone it was like a kick in the rubber parts.

I was just like, why,

why is this

a problem?

Why is this

deserving of your time?

And why do you seem to delight in saying it?

And I called my friends, two of my friends who happened to be male because I knew that they might know about it.

And I was just like,

I was sobbing because it felt so purposeful.

And I think that's the only time I really cried about it.

And I think it was just like an accumulation of like maybe a season of that kind of commentary, which nobody was trying to make me aware of it, but it get, you know, it gets back to you.

It gets in.

It's interesting, though, because like you said, how maybe there it is a little different now.

Like in my position, yes, I can like come on and speak like this, but like back then, I, the analogy you use was so interesting where you're like, I feel like I'm like being put out basically like a filet almost.

And it's just like I'm getting seared.

And I, and then, and you're an actress.

So you're not, you're playing this character.

People are commenting on you.

You're going to the grocery store.

You're seeing your face on magazines.

They're giving commentary on your looks.

This is in the day of magazines.

Oh my God.

And then you just have to go back to work.

Whereas now, yes, we can go online and I can make a whole episode about it of why do we feel so comfortable commenting on women's bodies?

Why do we feel like women have to actually look like a statue where we celebrate men and a beer belly.

And it's like, everyone's like, he's hot.

And it's like, it's just the double standards are insane.

And talking more about it, I appreciate you sharing that because I think so many women watching this would be like, wait, what?

You're literally one of the most beautiful women in the world.

Like, what does that?

And yet, here we are.

We can never be good enough for the standards.

So at what point do we actually just be like, you have to just let it go?

But it's so fucking hard.

I think maybe you, there's like a

threshold where

maybe

you know crying about it because it just seemed so cruel um was like

done

i do wonder like and i'm sure you've said this and meant anyone who's been criticized you can't help but wonder i couldn't help but wonder um sorry um

would you say it to my face

Would you?

They will.

I don't know.

Anyway.

Mike dropped.

You were already married by the time you started filming Sex in the City.

I just got married the night before.

Like I, we were married.

We were married.

I told Darren we were supposed to start sooner.

And I said, I'm going to tell you a secret, Darren, but I'm getting married on May 19th, but we don't really want to share that publicly.

So can we start shooting?

And I was doing a musical on Broadway at the time also.

So the show closed and the next day I started shooting.

So the show closed, I think June 1st.

And the next morning, Monday morning, I I started shooting the show.

So I was 10 days married.

Before that period of your life, how did your dating life compare to Miss Carrie Bradshaw?

It didn't compare.

It doesn't compare at all.

It was much less colorful, less busy.

I dated,

but

I would be, I would meet someone and date.

And then...

That would be a relationship.

You know, it lasted seven years, you know.

You were a relationship.

Yes.

Did you have a type?

No.

No.

You were.

I don't really think I have had it.

I don't think I have a type.

Do you think you and Carrie would have ever dated the same man?

Yes.

I do.

Big was always sending Carrie mixed messages, obviously.

Eye roll.

But

I feel like we all have that one guy that we gave too many chances to.

What was a moment in your dating life where you realized like, okay, I actually like have to cut this off.

Like I've given this person too many chances.

The first person that I really,

I had a really lovely boyfriend at the end of high school, like really

spectacular human being.

And then

I met somebody else who was also really interesting and exciting and a dazzler and had no interest in being in a relationship.

And I was really, really, really young.

And so that, like,

I was like, what do you mean?

How, but

I was so,

I just couldn't believe it.

Um, so that was an appropriate heartbreak.

Like, that was a good old-fashioned sitting by the phone.

Um,

today's gonna be different.

This is today's day.

And, um,

but after that, I met a fella, and um,

you know

he was handsome but

he he was not the best choice for me and

i think it was um too many conversations that were not fruitful like they didn't they were a waste of time

and i

actually

I appreciated that he was a beautiful, handsome man that people

said, my God, he's handsome.

But I discovered I don't, I didn't care.

I don't care if we cannot

speak.

If we can't.

Right.

You're like, what are we doing?

What are we doing?

Now you're beautiful, but like, at what point am I now going to bed?

Like, I'm lonely.

Yeah.

We haven't spoken.

When there was nothing.

Yeah.

There's just nothing there.

Yeah.

I know, ladies, like looks only go so far.

You need the depth.

You need the connection.

I think that's so relatable.

Humor and intelligence and complexity and surprise.

Him being interested in you.

Yes.

Asking follow-up questions.

Yes, follow-up questions.

The simple things.

They were just, anyway, not a bad person.

Just not right for you.

Yeah.

If you needed relationship advice, who from the core four would you want to call in the show?

I suppose if you just want someone to comfort you, you reach, you'd call Charlotte.

Yes.

You know, because she's so naturally

comfortable.

I'm going to say she's maternal in the because she is, she is actually maternal, the character is, and it's a it's like a source of pride that she can soothe.

Um, I think if you want, like, sound harsh, not harsh, sound firm

Miranda.

Um, and then if you want some nuance and like you want to open it up to a larger conversation, Carrie.

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Sex in the city was essentially, I feel like, the first time on television that women talked about sex and pleasure pleasure in a really open way.

How do you think the conversations on the show actually allowed women to have more sexual agency in real life?

I mean, I guess what I could tell you is that

probably about a year into the show airing, I could see evidence of its

the way it was impacting

New York City, say.

You'd see groups of women all of a sudden in tables leaning into each other, not leaning in, which I can't stand the phrase.

But I mean, physically, like clustered and

you'd see them in fours walking down a sidewalk, like lined up,

like almost like a piece of equipment, which I'd never really, now maybe I was like hyper-vigilant because of what we were doing all day long.

So,

and then just the anecdotal stuff all the women that just came up to me and said, all these years, you know, I

was allowed to be me.

I have different relationships because what I saw, I wanted, I wanted to talk.

Or perhaps more so importantly,

the multiples, the thousands who have said to me over the years, that's me.

That was me.

I never heard somebody

say on television or in cinema, talking with my friends, like the way we talk, the way the truth of the way we conduct our relationships, which is all intimacy.

It's all sharing.

It's all needing.

It's all helping.

It's all truths.

It's all hurting each other.

So I think like that combination I'm aware of, but I think the larger, like, where does it sit?

How has it?

I think I'm just like, I'm not able to see it.

And I think that's so fair.

I also think like

it's probably also easy to digest in those moments when you meet a woman on the street and she shares that with you.

You're like, that's amazing.

That's beautiful.

I'm so happy a piece of work and art that I've put together with a group of people has impacted that way.

Like, I think for me, I remember the way that.

comedy was used to lighten the conversation for women around something that historically has been

so taboo.

Yeah.

It was, it almost makes you think when you're in your room at night, watching it, if you're alone or with your friends, you're like, why do I feel so awkward to talk about something that should be liberating if I want it to be, right?

Like, if you want to engage in that capacity.

And I felt like for me, even at the genesis of starting Call Her Daddy, like I remember that in the back of my head, even of like feeling empowered to just go for it because I knew that had impacted the way that I felt comfortable.

So if I now do a new iteration on my show, other women hopefully will continue to feel more liberated.

And so I also think the lack of shame, I think the debriefs with women was such a beautiful element of freedom it gave to women to be like, why can men just so casually talk about sex?

Like for women, if you want, you can also be celebrated and enjoy it.

So there was so many nuances to it, which I completely understand.

It's like, where do we begin?

You could do a million part series on it, but I just wanted wanted to tell you, like, it changed my life.

So thank you.

Well, it's good writing.

And it's great that they

stuck, not stuck with it, but it's great that they, um,

the writers like felt convinced of the idea.

And,

you know, then you,

you do with it what

you want.

Yes.

Obviously, the show is really based in these beautiful friendships.

And I have to bring up because I've obviously hung out with him.

He came on my tour, Mr.

Andy Cohen.

You guys are close friends, and I feel like people are obsessed with your guy's friendship.

It's quite so funny.

What is his best quality as a friend?

There's multiple.

And Andy has talked about this both in his books and on the air.

Andy has said yes to everything.

He has like gobbled up life.

He's tireless.

He wants to taste it, experience it, see it, hear it, know it, travel to it.

He has

a

very attractive joie de vivre, and

he

is very

proud of his friends.

He's very

always

noting people's accomplishments.

Always, we had a club years and years ago of everybody downtown.

It sort of fell apart because people moved and stuff, but it was called the Nitwits.

And we would meet and there was the deputy, there was the

vice president, there was a president, there was a secretary, there's a treasurer.

And

then Andy would write the letter to the group like once a month.

It was the Nitwits newsletter.

And the entire beginning or the majority of the text of the body of the work was everybody's accomplishment over the last month, everybody's success story.

Didn't have to be a big deal, you know, to the wider world.

So that's just his nature.

And I think that's why he loves parenting so much and why it felt so necessary for him to be a parent was to be involved in somebody else's life.

Because he,

you know, as much as his reputation and his public profile is wrapped around,

you know, women that sometimes, you know, fight or behave poorly or whatever.

And he's a good shitster and he knows how to do it on the show.

That's good.

His nature is to be,

you know,

up here.

Uplifting.

Yeah.

Okay.

This is a little bit of a pivot, but I do want to just quickly ask you, because I know a lot of women are listening.

Do you have any advice for women who want kids, but are also afraid that they may fall behind in their career?

What do you say to them?

I mean, I just recently talked about this.

I think it's like being really in tune with yourself because I think the reality is as a woman, it is going to be different, but hopefully in a beautiful way different, right?

And I had spoken about with my husband that we thought we wanted to try this past year.

And now I realize I'm not ready and that's okay.

And I felt shame and weird about it.

And I was upset with myself just because I was like, how was I so sure about something?

But really, I want to, I have so much more I want to be selfish with.

And I think as women, it's hard to be selfish.

Yeah.

And it goes against our being.

So I want to be selfish a little bit longer.

And I think that's okay.

So my advice is take your time.

I don't think there's ever a perfect time, but listen to yourself and don't allow exterior factors to impact you.

Just in general, that's just

outside of fertility issues or

thinking about planning a family, that's really good advice.

In my opinion, it's really good advice.

I couldn't agree more.

And I think the most important thing that I think you said, well, no, it's equally important to other things is

there's no right time because

that's what makes it so confusing for yourself.

And for so many women, you think, okay, I'll just accomplish this.

And then it'll be a better time.

And then maybe you are, you do it, you accomplish that.

And you think, but wait a second, but because of those those accomplishments, now this opportunity exists and I'm not quite ready because I know I won't be able to be the same professional person.

So I would say, first of all, there's not a right time.

So you have to kind of keep looking at your life

with honesty.

And also, it's really nice to have somebody to talk

about it.

to with whom you can speak about it.

It doesn't have to be a partner because a lot of people are choosing to have families without

um having somebody to talk to i think that because we i think we spend a lot of time with fear and anything that's complicated in our heads and the minute we can talk about it oh my gosh it feels so much better such a relief so i think finding somebody to talk to um who you trust and

You know, like you said, just beating yourself up is, is,

it really is an in like you're spending so much time trying to make good decisions and right decisions for you and for a potentially have a

baby, you know, so be decent to yourself about it.

Be decent.

Let's talk about, and just like that,

we're back.

We're back.

Um, what was it like returning and playing Carrie?

Cause like I was thinking about it.

You've, you were gone, obviously for a while on the show.

And now you guys have been back.

But like,

is it weird?

Does it feel the same?

Like, how, how do you feel?

Well, when I first started talking to Michael Patrick about it, it was

March of 2020 or April of 2020.

And

I started talking to him about potentially

doing a podcast because we had, he and I had never talked about what it took to make the show.

And

I thought it was a nice idea idea to kind of do like or could be potentially interesting to do like an all access backstage pass to like really what how do you produce this show um and in the course of those conversations

he said

why aren't we just doing the show again

and i said

wow i can't believe you said that because every time i had to come up prior to that it just never felt like the right time

but when we were all at home

um

I felt like everybody was looking for home in a way that they weren't experiencing in their home.

And that meant their friends, like what people really missed

outside of like being with family, which for some people was a really great experience, but they missed their friendships outside of their family.

And

we thought.

Well, that's why it's right now because everybody's looking for home.

And Carrie's always been looking for home.

And the way she tries to find that is with her friends.

Like, how do they guide you home?

And so

in theory, it felt really good.

It was terrifying.

I mean, the table read was so happy.

We were all so happy to be together again.

Like it was a perfect day, but I was really nervous for the first.

two weeks, three weeks of our first season.

And I am typically anyway at the top of every project.

Doesn't matter how many times I've played a part.

You just are constantly like,

is this how I walk?

Is this how I talk?

Is this how many?

No, is this how she walks?

Is this how she talks?

You know, does she run this way?

What's what feels right and correct now?

So

that's just the way I examine

everything anyway.

Did you watch any of the old sex in the city to remember anything?

No.

I've never seen most of it.

I've never watched the show.

I watched it in the beginning, and there was a period in which I was getting

dailies and rough cuts from the studio, but I finally begged off because A, I wasn't keeping up.

Michael Patrick wanted, he's like, you've got to watch it.

You've got to give me notes.

You've got to watch it.

And then I realized that I wasn't being helpful because it was so unpleasant for me to watch.

myself that I couldn't see the work.

Completely.

And that's not a good producing partner.

I was able to be a partner in lots of other ways.

So

I would say

easily by second season, I wasn't watching at all.

And I've never seen almost anything.

I saw the final episode ever because Michael had a screening of it live as it was happening live, which was pretty incredible.

But that just was an opportunity for all of us to be together.

And I think the only time I understood that the show

was in the world in the way it was because we had been so

kind of purposefully cloistered from too much chatter you know peripheral blah blah blah so

was i came home from seeing that episode and that was season six so i hadn't seen almost anything up to that point after season one

and we turned on the we were just the news was on and under the what do they call that the yeah like the banner yes news banner it said uh

carrie ends up with big

on cnn and i was like

did they know who carrie is and they know if they say big what that means and john maybe they said john

and i only then thought

wow that's making a big assumption that there's going to be people in the broader world that know who carrie is They do, honey.

They do.

Did you, of all the years that you were away from her, did you miss her?

Or were you for a while at ease with like,

it's okay?

I always feel good when we stop because I feel as if

Michael has been so clever about

like if somebody said to me, do you miss her?

I'd say like, I know, I think she's well.

You know,

we'd leave a season

or a movie and I would think,

but she was, she seemed really well last time I saw her.

You know, so I always felt like he left her in,

not in good hands because she's in her own hands, but

having sorted things out and finding a kind of contentment that sustains a person.

And those friendships I trusted would remain, even if they change and they do.

So I didn't miss her.

I always felt

that Michael,

that we, you know, did right by her.

In this moment, because I feel like it changes, right?

What do you hope your legacy will be within the sex in the city

franchise era?

Gosh, I never thought about me.

I suppose.

I hope the work is good.

Like, I really do care about the work.

And I think

I care care because

of the audience.

Like I feel

such a

debt of gratitude that will never be able to be paid back properly.

So the work matters because

for all these years, people have

paid to have us in their home.

They've actually paid to have us in their home and they were the gang of 10 million from the beginning.

It was slow, but they

were

they were as much a part of the show as we were.

And

so I feel for me, the work

that has been so important to me is in large part about the audience's work and time spent with us, which is equally as important.

And the two cannot

we can't exist

without

them and the commitment they've made.

And so therefore, I made a commitment that I would care about every little detail.

And some people make fun of me on the set for the kind of vigilance around detail.

And, but I think it all adds up.

And

the audience

sees and knows it all better than I do.

So it's beautiful.

Last question.

Okay.

Really?

Oh, that's so sad.

Sad.

I know.

I know.

I could stay here all day with you.

No, no, no.

You got to go home.

In what ways has playing Carrie Bradshaw shaped you as Sarah Jessica Parker?

Well, I suppose in ways that don't really matter, in ways that matter.

So sometimes on a

seemingly surfacey level, and then more so.

in ways that matter.

The idea of breaking rules, I think I learned very early

that Carrie is a rule breaker.

And

when she's doing it sartorially with clothing, it's people love it.

And then sometimes when she does it in her interpersonal relationships, it's

been not as successful or it has been because she was willing to risk convention and be herself.

So I would say,

I came to look at rules different because I was somebody that always followed rules.

Like I really did believe in them because I felt that they were

like a kind of constant that

was good for us.

And

Carrie didn't always, and there was a lot that came that made her life better by being completely herself.

But I'm wary, you know, I wasn't unaware of the ways in which it was harmful, even if briefly.

So that,

and I would say that though

none of us have the time that she has had to devote to friendship, um,

I so admire

the way that friendships are

like foundationally the most important thing.

And

a lot of us have spent a lot of time working, and I always have had friends that were important to me, but I was envious of the way the time and the way she took care of those friendships.

And it made me want to be a better friend.

It taught me,

even if I wasn't able to mimic it, because life doesn't give us time to have lunch all the time with our friends,

but even if you put aside that kind of luxury of time

and leisure,

it's still like

It's still something to aim for.

I agree.

I cannot thank you enough for sitting down with me.

I feel like I'm in a dream right now and I don't know when I'm going to wake up, but like this has truly been such an honor.

Like, again, I just have to reiterate it.

Like,

from me starting Call Her Daddy to now actually getting to sit down with you, I have chills.

I've had so many chills throughout this interview.

Thank you so much for giving me the time and sitting down with me.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you.

And I'm really, really proud of you.

And it sounds like you're so

so healthy about

the the way that you're looking at your life.

And um, I'm sure it's a huge source of comfort to a lot of women that listen to you who are also contemplating in their lives some similar things.

But also, even if they're not, it's like guideposts.

So, um,

thank you for the way that you have connected with millions and millions of women and men.

Yes, we didn't forget about you.

And thank you for having me and being so hospitable and lovely.

It was was a real treat.

We did it.

And safe travels home.

Woo!

Thank you.

We did it.

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