Grace Van Patten: Tell Me Lies & Toxic Relationships

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What is up, Daddy Gang?

It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Grace Van Patten, welcome to Caller Daddy.

Thank you so much.

I am so happy to finally meet you.

Like, it's been a long time coming.

This is very exciting.

How are you doing today?

I'm great.

I'm so excited, too.

I've, I said when I walked in, I've like seen this chair, this iconic chair, so many times.

You're here.

And I'm here.

Wait, so you live in LA?

Yeah, recently.

I moved here like two and a half years ago.

And you're from New York.

From New York.

How are you liking it?

I love it.

It took me a while.

And I told myself I would never do it.

Me too.

But I also know I love New York so much and that's my home.

And I know for a fact I'm going to end up back there.

So I figured like, if I don't do it now, I'll never live in another place.

It's a good point.

It's a really hard transition, though, because I used to live in New York.

And when I got, oh my God, I got here and I was like, where is everyone?

Because you think it's just hello?

Yes.

Yeah, everybody.

Everyone drives everywhere.

No one's like popping into bars and restaurants around here.

You're just like, hello.

And I moved here with my best friend years ago and we were both like thinking we were going to have the time of our life.

It's like early 20s.

And then we were like, wait, where is everyone?

But then you eventually find your place.

It's also like, I tried out so many different neighborhoods and I'm my happiest where I can walk and like get a coffee.

If I can walk and get a coffee, I'm fine.

Wait, do you live alone?

Yeah.

And do you have any animals?

No, but I want them so bad.

It's a big decision I'm making right now.

But I think you're always traveling, though.

I know.

Yeah, so having an animal would be tricky.

Maybe like a fish.

Oh, wait, no.

That would travel with like a bag of

no, I was thinking, what could you leave at home?

And I'm like,

but no, I think you would also kill the fish.

Okay, maybe like if I had koi fish in my pond, I don't have a pond.

Very sexy, but very sexy.

Okay, we're going to play a game.

Okay.

First and worse.

I'm going to give you a scenario, and you just tell me a story that comes to mind.

Okay.

Okay.

Growing up, what was the worst trouble you ever got into with your parents?

I was actually just speaking to a friend about this.

I got into trouble

frequently.

Okay.

Because I would get caught doing a lot of things.

My mom had my location for a while.

And I thought I found a loophole by leaving my phone at...

my friend's house and just saying I'm in for the night.

And I think when my mom caught onto that, it was got reprimanded for sure.

Grace, that is like,

it's brilliant.

And it's something I used to do as well.

Really?

And my one friend, Anna, shout out if you're watching this.

Her, she, we were always going to her house because her whole family was like chill.

They didn't really care what we did.

And I'm like, I'm going to Anna's.

What could happen, mom?

And she's like, uh-huh.

Leave the phone in the mailbox.

Why the mailbox?

Why the mailbox?

You know, I don't know.

In case we had to go to a quick pit stop and I would like to check my groan.

So I'd have to go.

All good.

Yeah.

And it worked every time until finally my mom was like, I know you're not just sitting there all night.

And then it was like, but at least we tried.

We tried.

And it worked for a while.

But were you going to like clubs when you were younger?

No, I wasn't.

I mean, I definitely did at a young age, but that was never.

I never enjoyed that.

You never went to One Oak?

Of course.

I've been to PhD rooftop.

I can't, though.

It freaked me out even then.

And it still freaks me out.

Like, clubs

freak me out.

They're They're very over the top.

I don't, I, I don't, I used to.

I didn't have a phase.

You had a phase.

But you never, oh, I was like that girl.

You were.

I worked at the club, literally, and also figuratively.

But then I just

put socks in my tits to push them up, like looking like, oh my God, I have triple D's.

Literally would have reflected what I was doing.

I didn't tell me that.

Did you really?

No, not socks.

But you were like, help, help.

Shoved.

Shoved.

Shoving them up with anything.

Whatever I can fit in there.

Okay.

Who was your first celebrity crush oh um

steve oh from jack

wait wait

i had a weird i don't know i get it thing about snapping turtle just nipping at his nipples i guess got me honestly that show do you get it at all without a doubt okay but i could see no because what was it recently on an episode of love island then everyone was doing it where this girl was like okay wait who is your like okay wait but hear me out who Who you would like hook up with, but it's like, okay, wait, hear me out.

But you wouldn't want to, but like, you know, people would be like so fucking judgy.

It's like my take.

Yes, mine used to be like, I thought Johnny Depp specifically as Captain Jack Sparrow with like the eyeliner.

That's a good one.

And I, but I was like, why am I so attracted to that?

I get it.

Talent.

Talent.

Steve-O.

Something about like a daredevil.

Like, I don't know, adventure.

Okay.

Love it.

Okay.

What's a time you made a horrible first impression?

Oh, God, probably so many times.

I do remember

one of my first movies,

Dustin Hoffman was playing my grandpa.

And the first time I met him, I thought it would be cute to be like, hey, grandpa.

And I saw his face kind of drop.

And I was in, I like my face turned red.

I was so embarrassed.

And from that, I realized, you know, do not call any actor old.

He's like,

he's like, honestly, fuck off.

You're like, well, I thought it was for the old.

He didn't call me old.

I was like, I was mortified.

It's the worst when you have something ready in your head.

I planned it.

And then it comes out.

And you see, not only did it land, it actually just pissed the person off.

And you're like, swing and a miss.

And I was ready.

I was like going in there like, this is going to make everyone laugh.

No.

Ready?

Actual anger.

Anger.

Okay, Grace.

Last one.

What was the first time you were ever recognized in public?

Probably

before I started acting for my work in Divergent as Shaylene Woodley.

That's probably the first times I got recognized was as Shaylene Woodley.

That's actually amazing.

Rewind.

So so many people in your life have come up to you and been like, Shaylene.

Yeah.

Especially like when I was in high school and she was in the Divergence and also that movie with George Clooney.

Oh, yes.

The Descendants, I think.

Yeah, because, yes.

And we had very similar like hair at the time.

And that happened a lot.

Have you ever met her?

Yes, I met her once and I think I said something, but I always get so nervous in those moments.

Did you feel like when you met her, you both were like, you see the resemblance?

Is it annoying when people say that, though?

No.

Right.

It's like when you're compared to each other, where you're like, we're both.

Also, she's so beautiful and so talented.

I'm like, oh, yeah.

That's actually so true.

When people are like compared to people that you're probably like, wait, guys, that's not funny.

Don't compare me.

Right.

Wait, you think that's funny?

Right.

Wait.

Do we actually look?

And then you don't want to act offended.

Right.

Right.

Right.

No, Shalene's gorgeous.

Yeah.

I'm like, I will take it.

That's fair.

Okay.

Let's talk about your family.

Okay.

You have two sisters, right?

Yes.

How would you describe your relationship with them?

They're my best friends.

And you're the oldest.

I'm the oldest.

And then I have a middle sister who's only two years younger than me.

And then I have a 14-year-old sister.

So 15 years apart?

Yeah.

What is that like?

Which was wild at first.

My mom was 45 and she was like, I'm pregnant.

And I was like,

what does that mean?

Right.

I was 15.

I'm like, you guys have sex?

That's disgusting.

Now I'm like, good for you.

I couldn't fathom what life would be like.

Like, I've lived 15 years as like we're like a little family unit.

And what is, what is, I couldn't comprehend what that would be like.

And then she was born and it's like the best thing that could have happened to our family.

It's like kept us all young.

I do feel like I've seen that where like if someone has like a lot of younger sibling, it kind of gives a fresh new energy that keeps you guys like more like, okay, we're still young.

We're not all out of the house.

There's a reason to come home she's in high school now or whatever and you're like that's fun it's so fun is she watching you though in like she's not watching tell me live i told her not to okay but she'll she's always sending me like like tick tock edits of myself

and i

and i'm like june i love you i'm not i'm not gonna watch this but she like every time i see her she's like look at you look at look at this thing and i'm like she's like there's like tick tock edits she's excited that's really cute though that she's like they're shipping you online.

And you're like, stop showing me the fan edit.

But at least she gets to see something.

Yes.

Your dad, he's a well-known director.

What was it like growing up on these type of sets?

Like, that's obviously a very unique experience.

And now you being in the industry, but before you were fully in the industry, tell me about what that was like growing up like that.

It was amazing.

I mean, like,

I was always so curious about what my dad was doing and then being able to watch through a couple a couple different jobs that he's done and how they were all different but like

being surrounded by so many different types of people at a young age was really interesting and watching all of these amazing actors do what they do and like I was just so in awe of that you could play dress up as a as a job.

Like that's how I saw that's how I still see it.

Like it's just a very fun

thing when you're doing it.

The rest of it is

can be scary and unpredictable and inconsistent, but when you're actually doing it, it's so, so much fun.

Like that's, that's it.

That's really cool because I feel like there, I grew up and my dad was more in like the sports television world, but I always like accredit, like there was something about growing up that watching my dad get up every day and go and do something he was so passionate about.

Like, he loved it.

I feel like all of my siblings then and I either went into like entrepreneurship or the creative because I didn't understand what it would be like to not be so immersed and love it so much, like, go for your passion, which is such a privilege, but it's so cool to watch.

And so, it's been, I think, innately in me that I was like, I have to wake up every day and love what I do because both of my parents did that, which it feels like you kind of were like watching your father being like, this is so incredible.

I want to immerse myself also in that world.

100%.

That is like the main thing I took from it.

And he's never, he's like only ever done jobs that he's so passionate about.

And I really try

to do that.

You got your first acting job on The Sopranos when you were eight.

Yeah.

Like walking in on that set day and that whole experience.

What do you remember about it?

I remember like the most vivid memory was the audition.

Like that is engraved in my brain.

It will be forever because I have never been so nervous for something.

Cause my, I was telling my parents like,

I want to be an actor.

I want to do that.

But I was eight and they were like, okay.

And I kept bugging, bugging them about it until my dad was like, all right, you can, you can audition.

You can try and audition.

And I remember to this day, like every step of like walking to the elevator of Steiner Studios and like signing my name.

They just like left left me.

They're like, go.

And I like sign my name and the

guests book, whatever it is.

And I'm like waiting in the chairs with all these other like girls with their parents.

And they call my name in and

it's a bunch of like producers and my dad's like in the back and like with like with his legs crossed.

So they really wanted me to feel how it would feel like if he was not involved, which I appreciate now.

But I remember doing that audition and just feeling so, so scared and so nervous.

And then obviously did not, I didn't consistently act

in between

when I actually started acting.

There was like a, I just went to school and didn't continue to audition and didn't do any of that.

So you went to a performing arts high school though?

Yes.

Talk to me about how this was different than like a traditional high school.

Um

it was

it was insane.

Like I can't imagine going to a normal high school.

It was like it was all of these

very creative like quirky kids like literally singing and dancing on tables and in the hallway like people on vocal rest like writing on whiteboards and young kids that were very serious already about their art.

And of course, there were like, there's variety.

There were kids who didn't want to be there.

And I was kind of like in the middle.

Like, I loved acting, but I didn't know if I wanted to do it as a career yet.

It was just like a hobby.

But it,

yeah, it was a wild experience.

I heard that you and Timothy Chalmay went to the same school.

Yes.

Yeah.

He was a grade above me.

Did you ever get to watch his infamous talent show show

every year

front and center?

I witnessed the great act.

It was incredible.

It's just as amazing as it probably is watching the footage of it.

There is footage of it.

There's footage.

If people have a world gets to experience it, there's footage, but if people don't know what we're talking about, can you lightly describe what his performance was?

He had a rapper, alter ego named Tiny Tim or something.

That's it.

And he would, we had these

yearly talent shows, which is like

it was, it was called Rising Stars.

And this talent show was like American Idol.

It was like all of the most insanely talented kids doing like either rapping or singing or doing crazy like contemporary dance or playing a flute.

Like you name it.

It was insane.

Like I would still go to it because it was just the most talented kids.

And you, did you ever partake in the

no, I didn't get asked, Timmy.

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Okay,

tell me lies.

Yes.

Tell me the first time you read the script initial vibe.

What did you think?

I loved it.

It got me so excited.

I was like,

because it was my dream to do like a toxic, fucked up relationship thing.

Why?

Because I just loved those movies.

They're like my favorite movies.

I don't know why.

I do too.

I mean, I loved Steve-O.

I clearly liked it.

It was just some toxic

energy.

There's some through line.

But I loved watching those movies.

They're like my favorite actors who have been in movies like that.

So it was just something that I wanted to be a part of.

And I thought it was so cool that it was

a TV show and also about young people in a toxic relationship.

And

I only read the pilot when I first read it.

So I had no idea.

I just had no idea

what it was going to become in terms of chaotic.

That's actually crazy to read the pilot and you were like, oh, this is going to be really

tame.

And then to to find out.

Yeah, because Lucy in the pilot is like a completely different person.

I thought I was like signing up to be like a preppy, like kind of closed off, like going to college, maybe going to reinvent herself, meets a guy, it sucks.

But like

she is a full spiral out, like

manic journey that I did not know.

If you had to say, because I know as an an actor, like, I'm sure you're trying to find some ins.

Like, is there anything you relate to her on?

Yeah, for sure.

I mean, I

definitely related, especially first season when I was filming it, like

being young and being really afraid of your feelings and then showing them and being like, oh, this is why I was afraid of them.

Like, I think you...

you meet Lucy in season one and she's very like has a guard up and then this guy just like slowly chips away at it and then she's like

gates are open and she can't reel it back now and I've totally had that.

Have you been in

situations where you feel like you've maybe not been as like vulnerable in your life and then you're saying when you've been you're like oh that just bit me in the ass kind of yes and then coming out the other side of it being like vulnerability is the most powerful thing you could ever have in any relationship or friendship.

Okay, I know you said in the past you hope you're not like Lucy, which like I agree with, but also we love her because she's entertaining.

We love her.

Heading into season three.

Yeah.

What is the biggest difference, would you say, between you and Lucy now?

Probably not like learning her lesson.

I feel like I'm pretty good at like

knowing I've made mistakes and then stopping.

And she's a little relentless with that.

Oh, she's relentless.

Okay, we're going to do some rapid fire of tell me lies.

Okay.

Which character would you want to be friends with in real life?

Oh.

Probably Wrigley.

Probably Wrigley.

Like Akki the sweetie boy.

Yeah.

Okay, what item of clothing would you steal from Lucy's closet?

Well, I just did steal some when we wrapped.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

I stole like the iconic true religions that like I cannot find in real life any that like look good or fit, but for some reason, the Lucy jeans that Charlotte, who's the costume designer, found

I was like, Can I please Charlotte will help you?

She's a genius at finding dude.

I need to find Charlotte and be like, get me those jeans the low-rise jeans that she has found for you.

It's crazy.

She really found that.

Oh, I would steal it too.

Yeah.

Okay, which character frustrates you the most?

Lucy.

Lucy.

What's been Lucy's most cringeworthy moment?

It's a lot to choose from.

Or like, I think any time

Lucy thinks she's being subtle about something is the most cringy.

That's a good point.

Like when she's

like, I think it was season one, when she tells Steven that she's not going to India because like some reason, but it's so obvious that she's staying in town to like be with him.

And he like shuts her down.

It's like the modern day version of back in the day when with the Hills, when like Lauren was the girl that didn't go to Paris because she stayed to go with her boyfriend.

Yeah.

And that was you in like, you're like, you're not going to India, babe, because of Stephen.

I know.

It's not because it's really obvious.

Okay, mine was though, the underwear moment in season two.

Oh my God, of course.

Of course.

I was like screaming at my television when you are like hooking up with both of them in the same day and you're wearing the same fucking underwear.

Same underwear.

I was like, no.

Disgusting.

Disgusting.

But honestly, genius writing.

I know.

So good.

So

oh, that was gnarly.

Okay.

What is one piece of dating advice you would really like to give Lucy if you were her friend?

Honestly, I feel like I would tell her.

Well, like, there's the obvious ones of like, get the fuck away from him.

Yeah.

But people don't listen to that.

People need to figure that out for themselves.

So

I would tell her to try and like

mend her relationship with her mom because she's had zero parental guidance this whole time.

She has like a shitty relationship with her mom, but

and I feel like if she had some sort of motherly figure, like just tell her because like

it was so helpful when my mom, like when you're caught up in something, when you're young and your mom just tells you, like reminds you how unimportant this is in the grand scheme of your life and how helpful that is to hear from like just an older, wiser person.

It's so true.

I feel like there's been so many moments watching the show that I'm like, oh my God, if only she could go to her mom and feel like she could actually tell her what's going on, her mom as an adult could be like, babe.

But because she lacks that, there's kind of nowhere to go.

And obviously when you are in college, I experienced it.

Like we're all a shit show at that point in our lives.

So, your friends can only give you so much advice, but at the same time, you're like probably doing a similar, right?

Everyone's doing a similar

kind of shit, kind of.

And so, it's like you need someone that's actually been through life to be like,

walk away, yes,

walk away, or like everything will be okay.

Like, somebody just to tell her that, like, you're good.

Fuck Mary Kill,

Max,

Leo, Evan.

Oh, my God.

Poor Max.

So,

Poor Max.

He's been right in front of her the whole time, and she's just like looking past him.

She's not.

Oh, poor Max.

Mary Max, obviously.

Probably kill Evan for Steven.

Bye, Evan.

Love you.

Sorry, Evan.

It's okay.

Sorry, Evan.

Yeah.

That's so funny.

Okay, What is, in your opinion, the most fucked up thing Lucy or Steven have done to each other?

I mean,

Stephen walking out of the Hawaiian party with Diana hand in hand, leaving Lucy in a coconut bra was pretty.

Has your sister showed you those edits on TikTok?

I don't think so.

They're everywhere.

They still live to this day.

Even though we're going on season three, that scene, wait, what was your reaction when you read that scene?

Because like you said, you only read the floor.

Jaw on the floor.

Jaw on the floor.

There's a really funny thing that happened because Robin Wright was directing that episode, the amazing Robin Wright.

And she really approached her directing style because she's an actor.

Like she, she knew how to talk to actors and she knew that Jackson and I were dating and was like,

was like,

basically just tried to get me to

believe that this was real life.

And like,

she's like, just think, what if Jackson did do this?

What if he walked out and said on the way out,

I never loved you.

I don't even think you're pretty.

And I was like,

and in the moment, I was like, oh, God, that's, that'd be really awful.

That'd really bad.

And I, I like, just tried to, to go there.

But really with that moment, it was like pure shock.

I thought like the less of a reaction, the more impactful it would be because it's like you, you don't even know what's going on.

Like everything's in slow motion.

It's a good point.

There's actually, there is no reaction because there's no reaction.

You're going to probably process it later.

Exactly.

But in the moment, you're like dissociating.

Yeah.

You're like, yeah.

I imagined it in slow motion because it's like, and I think that's what they did.

They read it.

They slowed motion.

Because it's like, you can't even.

I remember watching the first season, and I think something that I really appreciated about it is it's such an accurate portrayal of what a toxic relationship is.

And I think that's why so many people really gravitate towards it because

I haven't seen something like this done in cinema because you kind of are watching it and you're like, it's such a slow, sneaky burn at first.

Yeah.

For you in your life, like, what is the hardest?

I know you've said you've never been in a toxic relationship, but like, what's the hardest lesson you've had to learn in dating?

I mean, I feel like, like, to go back to what we were talking about before with like vulnerability, like before I learned that, I feel like it was so hard because I wasn't communicating and they didn't know how I felt.

So it was just like would become a mess because

I didn't know how to, how to talk about my feelings.

Yeah, I know, I think you said somewhere like you had never been in a toxic situation, but you've been in immature relationships, which is

all of us.

And when you start dating people, and it's cute because we think we're so mature when we get into relationships totally when we're in our teens or 20s or whatever it be and you're like i'm literally an adult mom don't tell me what to do meanwhile you actually have no idea what you're no idea you have no idea what you're doing no what did some of those like more immature things look like for you just like in life of dating i feel like just lack of communication jealousy is probably like a big immature

relationship thing, I feel like, which is, you know, normal throughout even non-toxic relationships.

It's very natural, but like that intensity of jealousy that felt like

death or something, you know?

It's like all-encompassing.

Yeah.

There's always the fear, too, of like,

even when you know something should be coming to an end, like the fear of like, what is life?

after that like that's always a scary thought even even if you know what you have to do yeah even if it is immature, even if it is toxic, it's like that fear.

Lucy's friends are obviously always telling her to leave Steven, but she never wants to listen, obviously.

Have you ever been in a tough situation with a friend where you know you need to have a conversation with them about who they're seeing, whether it's because it's deteriorating their mental health or you found out they were cheated on or whatever it be?

And like, have you had that?

Yeah.

For sure.

How do you even approach those moments?

Because some people are like, I'm not getting involved.

Some people get involved.

Yeah.

It depends on the friend.

Okay.

I mean, especially when, when something is so overt, like cheating, if somebody cheated on my friend, like, I feel no problem being like, don't, don't settle for that.

But it's also hard.

It's like, cause you want to support your friends.

And

a lot of them, a lot of people

are in this vicious cycle of relationships.

And it's like, even if they know it's not good for them, it's just, it's hard to break the, that's the hardest part.

And it's hard being a friend because you're like, on one hand, I feel like it's my duty as a friend to be like, girl.

Yeah.

But then I also know you, you can kind of like suss out when your friend's not ready to hear it.

Yes.

So you're kind of like, you kind of have to gauge it.

And then you're like, are we going to get in a fight?

Right.

Cause I'm technically it would be overstepping.

And some people would be like, no, you have to tell them.

But it's like, you know, sometimes if you found out some shit, you're like, I actually could tell her, but she's not in her right mind.

Right.

She's just going to get pissed at me.

Yeah.

So you almost have to kind of just like be there for a friend.

Yeah.

And kind of like we said with the themes in the show of like, if you go at them and you judge them, then they're going to alienate themselves and then they won't come to you the next time.

Exactly.

So some, which is really dangerous too.

It's and like you don't want to like,

there's been so many situations where that friend does open up and go there with you with like shitting on the guy or breaking up with them.

And then they get back together and you're like face to face.

And you have to, that's tricky.

It's so hard.

And you're like, so I think there's like a way to do it in like a tame, supportive way.

Yeah.

It's like, because at the end of the day, it's not your life.

It's your friend's life.

And so you can be there, but you're like, listen to people.

Like, advice is a very like ethereal comfort thing.

It's not like people don't take it literally unless it's like technique bit like unless it's like

people rarely take advice.

I agree unless it's not so personal.

Yes.

Right.

Yes.

It's almost like if you can get like work wise, if you have something that is tangible that is like, oh, this is going to help you get the raise or this is going to help you get the job, whatever it be, people are like, oh, I'm going to try it.

Yes.

But when it involves someone mental

personal thing.

Yeah.

In the moment, they could be like, that's literally genius.

Yes.

And then they get home and they're like, wait, I can't do that.

Yeah.

they're gonna be like, I'm gonna text him.

Yeah, yeah, they're like,

Yeah, exactly.

You also can't take it too personal when you're a friend like that.

I agree, where it's like, give the advice if it feels right in the moment, don't overstep, but also expect nothing.

Totally, totally.

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We have kind of an overlapping fun story because we met both of our partners on Zoom.

Oh my God.

I met my husband on Zoom, a work Zoom.

You met Jackson on a Zoom.

Yes.

Okay, tell me about your first Zoom because most people, you guys, would think it's not so sexy.

And I remember when I told my story, people were like, a Zoom.

And I'm like, yeah, it really went down on a Zoom.

Wait, I need to hear your story because I bet mine's the opposite of yours.

Okay, I got on a Zoom and there there were multiple people on it.

Okay.

I was meeting with my husband's production company at the time and he was late.

I'm on the call and everyone on the call was like fans of Caller Daddy.

So they were like big Caller Daddy fans and they were like mentioning episodes to me and it vibes were great.

Yeah.

And then Matt got on and he comes in as just like the producer that's like, oh, like, I don't know much about your show.

Like, tell me about your show.

And I'm like, immediately, I'm like, that's.

I need his validation.

I'm like, why is this so fucked up that I'm like, oh man, it's so hot.

You don't know who I am.

Love this.

Totally.

And then the whole Zoom, I'm like staring at his Zoom box.

I'm looking at no one else.

I'm like, you like pinned it?

Yeah.

I'm staring directly in his eyes.

He has no idea.

He's like on his phone, busy, not paying attention.

No, but I'm, I'm watching him and I'm like, wow, he's like really hot.

Like, I'm attracted to this guy.

And then afterwards, he emailed me just being like, are we making this TV show or what?

Like, let me know if you're ever in LA.

I was like, I'm going to be in LA next week.

And then we went and got dinner and the rest was history.

Was it instantly romantic vibe?

Or did you like kind of weasel your way?

I was like, I'm on a date.

Okay.

He's like, so the show.

And then finally, he was the person that actually gave me the advice where he was like, can I be honest?

I really don't think you should make this TV show right now.

It feels like this is not the right time in your career.

And every other producer had been like, let's make it tomorrow and just saw like dollar signs.

And I was like, wow, that was very attractive that he wasn't just trying to use it for because like it would be a benefit to him.

And then I was like, okay, well, if we're not making the show, let's turn this into a date.

And he was like,

okay.

Oh, my God.

And then it just, so I was like pretty forward because I just felt it.

Yeah.

And I never usually was like that in relationships.

But you knew.

Okay.

What was your Zoom like?

I

didn't, didn't like Jason.

Stop.

No, we talk about this all the time.

It's like, cause I had done.

A bunch of Zoom chemistry reads because it was still like COVID-19.

So it was all on Zoom the first round.

Wait, so this is for telling lies.

Yes.

And you have the job.

I I have the job.

Okay.

And I'm in the, we're in the process of like Zooming with with guys and like reading scenes with them.

And like, uh,

Jackson, I had heard like was the favorite.

So I'm like excited for his thing.

And he gets on and I just, I've told him this that I'm like, oh, this is like a, this is like a serious

actor, like actory actor.

So I was just like, oh God.

But he was so good.

And I was like, all right, it's fine.

Maybe we won't get along.

But like, he's perfect for the part.

And he's so talented and great.

And so I was like, it was half really excited that like we found the Steven.

But the other, I was just like, kind of rolled my eyes a little bit.

And then, and then we met in person

for the next round.

And he was like, it was like a completely different energy.

And he just told me he was like really nervous for the Zoom.

And, and he was just like, and now I know him so well.

And I know that part of him.

And I'm like, oh, that's what I was seeing.

But it really took me to meet him in person to be like, this guy's the best.

So you're about to do a job together.

Yeah.

But then you start dating before the job starts.

You start dating before the job.

Who makes the first move?

How do you guys decide to even like go on a date?

We had some mutual friends that like

I

was so in the like zone of the show and being so excited about doing it and like finding the guy and just like, it was just something I was really excited about.

So like my brain was very like, tell me lies.

And I kept thinking

about him and I couldn't tell if it was like, oh, I'm so excited that like, I couldn't tell yet.

I couldn't tell if it was like a crush or like

a

career exciting thing.

And

then I remember hearing

like

my friend's boyfriend was working with him on another movie.

And

we decided after they finished that movie, like we were all going to have dinner or something.

And so,

and so we all had dinner and it was just like instantly, we were, it was just, we vibed instantly.

And it was kind of that night.

We were both like, we both have a crush on each other.

This is probably like the worst thing that could happen.

And like we sat on a stoop for, I think, like six hours and talked about every reason why we should not act on this.

And then I kissed him.

You're like, so with all that said, with all that said, come here.

Yeah.

So then no one knew you guys were first see each other.

No, no one knew.

We were like, And we didn't, we weren't like, let's, we need to keep this secret, but we were like, we don't have to flaunt it.

We don't have to,

but we also saw it as like a fun game.

Like, how long can we go without people realizing?

And so, how did people find out?

I mean, it was pretty quick.

It was just like

the cast knew pretty immediately because we would all hang out to like get to know each other.

And they're like, why do you guys feel like you guys know each other?

Yes.

And all of us.

And you're like, what?

Yeah, what are you talking about?

So they knew right away.

And then people just caught on.

There was never like,

I never announced it, but like.

Okay, love.

Yeah.

How did you?

Because I think this is something people are always so fascinated with me being like, What, how the fuck do you work with your husband?

And, like, it actually, for me, I'm always like, I know this sounds maybe weird, but it's the easiest part of my job because completely agree.

I was going to ask, like, what conversations did you and Jackson have in going into, like, we're working together, we're seeing each other, how are we going to make this work?

I actually don't know if we had any like initial conversation.

I think it was very, because it was so early on, I think it was very very like, let's just see how this goes.

And it just happened very naturally that it just,

we found our groove in it.

And

we were able to be professional and then also just have the best time together.

And

yeah, and I completely agree.

It's like the best,

the best part of the job is being able to do it with him.

What do you think is the most difficult scene that you guys have had to shoot together?

I mean, honestly, anytime he's being like

a dick, which is most of the time, I'm like, you're a little too good at that.

I'm like,

can you come here for a second?

Why were you so good at that?

That's, you're really good at that.

That's so real.

I'm wondering, like, because you know when like you have a dream, like, I don't know if this ever happened to you, but sometimes I'll have a dream that like something happened with Matt and I wake up.

Oh, you wake up fully pissed.

And I'm like, wait, why am I mad at him?

Yes.

Does that ever happen with you where like he's playing so good that you're like, am I mad at you or mad at Stephen?

Oh, but you're Stephen?

And you're going home at night together and you're like, like, you were really mean today.

Yeah.

It's real.

No, thankfully, I can separate Steven from Jackson, but I do have the dream thing 1,000%.

Will you really?

If I have a dream that he like cheated on me,

I wake up and he, she cheated on me.

I'm like, I've ruined our life for sure.

Matt's like, bring me coffee.

He's like, what do you mean?

I'm like, you, oh, fuck, I know it was a dream, but I still am angry.

He's like, why?

I know.

It's like such a real thing.

Do you dream really vividly?

Oh, yeah.

Same.

I think that's why.

I just pick up on my dreams the next night.

I like to tap back into work.

I do the same thing.

It's like a show.

And it feels so, feels so real to my dreams.

Yeah.

Okay.

There's a lot of sex in the show, obviously.

Yes.

Talk to me about how when you kind of knew that this was something that was came with the show, how did you feel about it?

Was there any part that was hesitant?

Did you tell your family?

Were they chill?

Like, because it's a lot.

It's a lot.

I remember, like,

it's not the first time I had been like naked in anything.

So it wasn't like, it didn't feel like this first scary thing.

It was scary for a million different reasons.

But

I'm like,

the most important thing to me when there's like nudity or sex stuff is that it's just necessary to the story and to the character.

And I felt like this really was like

it's such a specific thing being like for Lucy sexually awakened for the first time and being obsessed with the guy who like changed her life sexually and like not being able to get that out of her brain.

Like that.

is a very relatable thing.

And I couldn't imagine telling that that story without sex in it.

It's like seeing the power dynamics changed through it and like getting that false validation from it, getting like so many things.

I feel like it was necessary to tell the story.

So in that way, I was like, I felt safe doing it.

That's a great point.

Like, I agree.

I think there's been shows, I think, that I've watched that I'm like, this feels forced.

Yeah.

And I agree with you.

I think so much of it, again, why it is so relatable.

It's like, I have experienced that where as as a woman, you're like trying to navigate, like, should I sleep with him now?

Should I sleep with him when?

And like, how will that impact the power?

And it's just such a mind fuck.

And we watch you handle that so well.

So I agree with you.

Obviously, I think there's the natural

question that everyone always has: like, how does

playing this character with your boyfriend and having these sex scenes in a show, like, is it hot and steamy?

Which, I mean, I'll let you answer for yourself.

No, it's, I think it's like a

very common misconception to think that it's hot because it's, it could not be less sexy to me.

For me, at least, like, filming those scenes are the most

technical, choreographed.

There's like intimacy

coordinators there.

There's the directors, the show run.

Like, there's so many people around.

There's like, it has to be like planned legally.

So it's like

it's be very hard to enjoy yourself in those moments.

I was thinking about that when I, when I was going to ask you that, because I was like, knowing that like, that's what happens on sets, which I get it.

Like for most consumers, they don't understand that where it's like, there's like sometimes 20 people in a room or five or 50.

It depends on like what the shoot is.

And it's so not about the sex.

It's so about like, can you

lift up your right leg more so you can see

your arm?

Can you move your arm a little bit so you can't see your nipple?

Like, it's like all that.

And then you'll like turn your head and you'll see like a guy holding a boom and you're like, what?

This is so weird.

This is so weird.

And you're so, I mean, for me, I just like completely disassociate in those scenes too.

I like feel so out of body.

I don't know.

I like, I don't know what I do in those scenes because I'm like.

Is it easier to do it with Jackson or would it almost be easier to do it with just a Garanda?

No, it's so much easier because you feel comfortable.

Like, so much of the weirdness is not knowing the guy you have to do that with.

And, like, it's just, it makes it so much safer and comfortable at least.

What is the most awkward moment that you guys have had on set together?

Me and Jackson?

I don't know if we've had an awkward moment.

I made him laugh, which Jackson is like,

he does not break.

Like, you cannot break him when he's in the zone.

And I made him laugh this season.

And I will wear it on my chest for like the rest of my life.

You're like at dinner, you're like, remember when I made you laugh?

I literally

take so much pride in it that I broke him.

So that was, that was great.

Can you tell me about this ADR situation that we were talking about before we started filming?

So obviously, because of the amount of sex scenes, there's going to have to be, or you explain it.

Yeah.

So like

normally after you finish a show or movie, you go in to do ADR, which is like plugging in sounds that like maybe the sound got messed up or whatever it is.

There's some interference with the sound.

And with all these sex scenes, I've had to ADR sex scenes multiple times.

And that is the most awkward thing.

I think I've that is worse than shooting the sex scene.

Like

kissing your hand or like moaning and

Dude, you are putting us on your back.

I'm literally like, can anybody else?

No one knows what my kissing sound sounds like.

Can somebody else do this?

They're like, Grace, get in the booth.

Like, honestly, thank you because it seems so real, but like now hearing you now, I'm never gonna be able to ugly.

Now, that's amazing.

It's so, oh.

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What would you say your best quality is as a partner?

Hmm.

I think

support.

I think I'm really supportive.

And like

I'm so excited for him about everything.

And I think

I just, it's one of my favorite things to do is to like get excited for him and support whatever he's doing.

What is his best quality?

He's a really good listener and like really

eases my anxiety on a lot of things.

He's like a very calm, grounded presence and

it makes me feel really, really like at ease.

Cute.

Yeah.

Cute.

Okay, we're going to play a game.

Okay.

There are obviously a lot of secrets and tell me lies.

So today we're going to learn some of yours.

Okay.

What is a secret obsession of yours that people would be shocked by?

Secret obsession.

This is a new one.

I'm obsessed with pajama sets.

Like sexy or oh, like, like, oh

Jackson.

He did a video of me last night because I started getting in this.

I don't know if this is like an OCD thing that's begun or like a

rich, not like a ritual?

A ritual or superstition.

I don't know.

I've made this up, but like recently, like the past year, if I have something to do the next day, like a like a first day of something of work or whatever, or like a big day of press or whatever, I feel like I have to wear a pajama set or else it's going to be really bad.

Did you put on this pajama set?

Because you knew you were coming on Caller Daddy.

Wait,

after you have to show me, what does it look like?

I tried on a new one last night that I've never worn, but I ordered online.

And I looked like a 1930s jester.

And so you're just like trying out new PJ sets left and right?

Trying out.

No, none.

Literally, none of them are sexy.

They're either like I can do with like a long nightgown or like,

or

just like a cozy set, like top and bottom.

And, but last night was really, I had to change.

I had to change.

Cause I'm like, this almost, I think this might give me bad luck.

There was like weird cinching happening that I felt like my arms were getting cut off.

Yeah, no.

But I'll get the video.

Because he's like, what?

He was like, did you miss clown school?

Thinking of you being like, okay, I'm going on Color Daddy tomorrow.

What should I do?

And you're putting this shit on.

He's like, you look like an actual clown.

Take it off.

I look, it's literally like red, white, no, red and like navy stripes with like almost like a bib thing.

It looked so cute online.

And I got them for my sisters.

So now we all have them.

And I remember actually thinking, like, when I gave them to them, I think they must have worn them.

And I was like, you like your pajamas?

And I remember like, kind of not loving their response.

And they were like, yeah, they're cute.

And now I know why I put them on last night, and I was like, This is this is actually heinous.

Goodbye, goodbye.

Okay, see, we needed to know these things.

Um, okay, what's the worst lie you ever told to get out of plans?

You know, I feel like

when I was younger, I would like really try and come up with an excuse out of like not wanting to hurt people's feelings, but I really take pride in just telling the truth now.

Like, I love

canceling plans

and

saying, like, I'm really tired.

Or, like, I don't want to leave my house.

Or, like, like, I'm trying to do that as much as possible.

I actually respect that more than when you get the text that's like, okay,

yeah.

My grandmother.

I'm like, wait, you said she died.

Right.

Well, she's back.

Right.

And, and then you go on this long tangent.

You're like, just tell me you don't want to come or you can't come.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

So that's what I'm, that's what I try and do.

What's a childhood secret you never told your parents?

I actually just

let one secret out that I kept.

I got a tattoo and I mean, so long ago and I never told my parents.

And we were on vacation last summer and I had a couple drinks and I was like, guys, look.

And I flipped because I got it in my lip.

What does it say?

It says 99 and it's, it's for my grandpa.

It was like a grandpa thing.

And I was drunk and thought that my mom would love it because it's like for her dad.

And they were like, what?

What?

Because they've thought I've had no tattoos.

And

I let it slip that I do.

And they freaked out.

They freaked out.

But it's also

inside your lips.

You can't see it.

It's like.

So you have no other tattoos.

I have a little spider here.

When did you get that?

I got it with Jackson on my birthday, like two years ago.

Maybe it was three years ago.

When is your birthday?

November 21st.

Are you into your horoscope or no?

I'm into it.

I don't know a lot about it, but I'm down for it.

Scorpio.

Scorpio.

Scorpio.

Uh-oh.

See, that's the face I always get.

Well, I dated, I think, a Scorpio man.

I don't know any Scorpio men.

What are they like?

Scary.

What is Jackson?

Pisces.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Scorpio men,

they'll fuck you up.

Mental, mental games.

Uh-huh.

Scary.

Yeah, scary.

But, you know, I think women are great.

A lot of my friends are Scorpio, so I love you.

Okay, good.

So you're totally good.

I'm in.

Okay.

Okay.

Let's talk about the twisted tale of Manda Knox.

Let's do it.

I will never forget the day I interviewed her.

Oh my God, yes.

I know.

I met her.

Oh my God.

This was like

years

ago.

And it was before I even had video podcasting.

She came to my house.

Her husband came.

They brought their child, and I met her.

And I was just like,

I need to know everything.

Like, she just has

she'll tell you.

I know.

She'll tell you everything.

She'll tell you it all.

She's such an open book.

Talk to me about how rewarding it was to play this character.

It was, it was amazing.

It's like,

it really feels like the most important thing I've ever done and ever will do.

Just being able to

help somebody tell their story in their own way is so,

just so cool.

And I'm so, so honored that I got to be a part of it.

Is it true that you have said throughout your career you always wanted to play her?

Yes.

What drew you to it?

I remember watching the documentary, the Netflix one, in like 2015 or 16, whenever that came out.

And I just remember watching her and being like, I want, this person is so fascinating.

Like, yes, the story is crazy and, and

I can't believe the story and the details of it, it, but I thought she was just so interesting and I couldn't get a, I couldn't quite get a full grasp on her and I just wanted to know more.

So like that intrigued me.

No, you were incredible and I think you did such a great job of making your own while also staying true to Amanda and the integrity of her story.

Like how much time did you get to spend with Amanda pre-shooting?

I found out I got the job and then I had like two months.

Okay.

So

that was those two months were like crammed in with a lot of learning Italian and talking to her as much as I could.

But like throughout the whole shoot, I was talking to her pretty frequently.

Amazing.

Cause she was, I mean, you've met her.

She's so open and so vulnerable.

I felt like if I had a question at any moment, I could just like text her and call her.

And she was just so there.

Then after this, we are going back to Tell Me Lies because season three then is going to come out.

I know you can't say anything, but to wrap up, number one:

so you filmed everything, so you know what the finale is.

You're sitting in my presence with this knowledge.

I wish I could tell you.

I feel like the cast

I feel like I've seen in the past always has tried to predict or like bet on what they think is going to happen.

Oh, yeah.

Did you guys bet on anything for this season?

And did anyone get it right?

Honestly, no.

Okay,

no, that scares me.

There, yeah, there are some things that I really,

really did not see coming.

Okay, last question then.

Can you describe season three, Tell Me Lies, in three words?

It's fucking chaotic.

It's perfect.

Fucking chaotic.

Bye.

Fucking chaotic.

Dude, thank you so much for coming.

Thank you.

It was so fun to meet you.

You too.

I'm so excited to see what you continue to do.

Like, you're so talented.

You have so much, obviously, that's coming.

And I'm just a fan.

So, I'm really excited to watch your career.

I'm such a fan of you.

I'm so happy we got to do this.

This was really good.

Thank you.

I'm like, it's so crazy.

You did it.

You sat associating because I'm like, I've watched this

so many times.

You did it.

Crazy.

You did it.

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