Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)

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Speaker 1 What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Speaker 1 Is there anything that made you almost quit?

Speaker 1 I will say

Speaker 1 there has been a lot of times where I've almost quit.

Speaker 1 And how do you not? Like, what are the, what brings you back to not quitting? Well, I'm in an interesting spot now where,

Speaker 1 you know, I'm 20

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 I am in a spot where I'm ready to evolve things. And I don't really know what that means for myself right now.
But I need to like

Speaker 1 find what mediums and what things make me excited because

Speaker 1 I was in this hamster wheel. of, you know, creating content every single week for four years.
And the thing that kept me coming back was the fact that

Speaker 1 that's

Speaker 1 the dis it's like literally like a disease. Like when you start doing YouTube or you start a podcast or whatever you do, which I, you know, I've been doing both now for like two years or so.
Like

Speaker 1 you're like, if I miss a week, I'm done. People are gonna fucking forget.
People won't care. And you you like guilt trip yourself into pushing through even the roughest moments because

Speaker 1 I burped. Um,

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 there's this stigma that, like, the second you take a break, you're out. But I'm done with that.
I've taken a break for the past few months. I'm like, sorry, I'm done.

Speaker 1 Or two months or so, not that long, but I was like, I'm burnt out, so I'm gonna take a fucking break.

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Speaker 1 I'm burnt out, so I'm gonna take a fucking break. When we talk about going through

Speaker 1 this hamster wheel process, it's so hard to

Speaker 1 explain like a tangible feeling that it is. And like I talk about it in therapy all the time.

Speaker 1 Like I started this podcast kind of like when you started YouTube and you didn't have anything in mind of like a start or end date. It was like, I'm just gonna start this.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden, you wake up and you're like, I've been doing this for years. Yeah.
And like,

Speaker 1 who am I without my podcast? Who are you without YouTube? Who is going to change my life? And it's like, it, there's no light at the end of the tunnel.

Speaker 1 And it's also not like the type of thing that you can ever stop thinking about. I've been thinking about YouTube for four years straight.

Speaker 1 There's not been a day or an hour that has gone by where something about it has not come into my head. And whether it's like, how do I want to evolve my videos? You know,

Speaker 1 what what am I going to film next? Like, what are people going to think of that video? Was that video shit? Like, same thing with my podcast. Was this episode, did I rant too much?

Speaker 1 Did this episode, like, was this episode fucking annoying? Like, was I repeating myself too much? You know, it's like,

Speaker 1 there's no end date. There's no room for a real break.
There is, but you don't want to let yourself believe that, right? And

Speaker 1 there's no room for mistakes. There's no room for mistakes.
There's no room. It just feels like,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 your boss is

Speaker 1 humanity in a way. Like, your boss is literally just like public opinion, it feels like.
And that's fucking weird. And it's so out of your control because

Speaker 1 the court of public opinion evolves. It ebbs.
It flows.

Speaker 1 It's not like you're reporting to one person and like being like, here's my work for the week. You just have to be constantly trying to guess what the people want.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 when you're living by that,

Speaker 1 it's like, what formula are you to follow? There's no formula to follow. It's like uncharted territory.
And sometimes the people don't even know what they want.

Speaker 1 So if they give you an idea, that might not actually work. Sometimes you have to predict what people want.
And it's just this whole mind fuck.

Speaker 1 And listen, I'm not complaining about it because in every job, in every, you know,

Speaker 1 profession in life, like there are elements of it that are just a nightmare. And I think, just with this, it's like

Speaker 1 everything could just go away so quickly. And I think the way that I've found peace in it is I'm like, okay, if it does, then it does.
And I'll just get pregnant and have a baby.

Speaker 1 This is Emma's pregnancy announcement, right? Guys, I'm pregnant.

Speaker 1 Like, no.

Speaker 1 It's like, goodbye. No, it is.
The publicist said, no. I have never heard someone explain it like that where your boss is the public.

Speaker 1 Every single creator said, does exactly what you just said, you quickly say, like, and I'm not ungrateful, and I'm not saying I'm not like so happy with what I have. That's not it.

Speaker 1 But in everyone's life, you have your struggles and you have your adversity that comes.

Speaker 1 And when you have millions of people

Speaker 1 every single day

Speaker 1 having not only an opinion on you, but sort of a holdover whether you have a career or not,

Speaker 1 it is a lot to to fucking handle as a young adult. Well, the thing is, too, about it is that

Speaker 1 as humans, you know, we're not supposed to,

Speaker 1 I mean, this is just an issue with social media in general, but you're just not supposed to be exposed to that many opinions, that many people's successes, that many people's vacations, that many people's

Speaker 1 hot takes, you know, and like when they're, you know, you're just like not supposed to experience that many people's lives, right?

Speaker 1 You're, you know, we're programmed biologically to only have to compare ourselves and listen to like a handful of people, right? I've watched a video about this.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm not a fucking scientist, but like, I did watch a video about this. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm citing my sources. Long story short, like, you're just not supposed to hear from that many people.
It's not

Speaker 1 like something that we're evolved to be able to comprehend.

Speaker 1 So it makes sense that, you know, for us, for example, example, like reading comments all the time from hundreds of different people, sometimes thousands and sometimes millions, that's just not a normal experience.

Speaker 1 And so when our brains react

Speaker 1 in weird ways, it's like, what else did we expect? This is a weird situation

Speaker 1 and is not natural. Yeah.
And I hate when people say like, then just don't do it. Yeah.
I understand what you're saying, but I

Speaker 1 do love it. I love it.
it's my passion.

Speaker 1 So then you have to basically, I think what we're both saying is like, it is, there is no book that gives you, here's a guideline. Right.

Speaker 1 This is, there is no one that can tell you, like, this is exactly how you act the minute you get this many followers, then this is going to happen.

Speaker 1 And then you talk to this therapist because they'll know how to, like, it, there's just no formula. Yeah.
And so it's weird. You eventually moved to LA.
Yes.

Speaker 1 How did the change of scenery affect your videos and your life?

Speaker 1 Should I go pee before I do this? Yeah, go pee. Let me pee.
Go in the.

Speaker 1 Sorry,

Speaker 1 sorry, daddy gang. I'm pissing now.

Speaker 1 No, I'm kidding. You don't want us to listen to you, P.

Speaker 1 Go down the,

Speaker 1 all the way down the hall. Okay.

Speaker 1 Anyways, Emma's back. How was your pee break?

Speaker 1 Hello, hello. Check, check.

Speaker 1 Pee break was popping. It was popping.

Speaker 1 I hope there was toilet paper in there. I don't, like, we could literally talk for six hours.
Oh, wait, this is just like the podcast house? This is the dad pad. No way.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's kind of nice to like not be in your own house. I used to do it from my bed all the time because where do you podcast? From my bed.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like there's pros to that, but I started to feel like I could never turn it off. So I just.
Yes. I've been having that struggle recently.
Because that microphone is sitting on your bed or near it.

Speaker 1 You just keep being like, should I start? Should I start? Should I start podcasting? I'm like, I could record right now. And it will be like almost midnight.
And I'm like, oh, I have a thought.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, no, I need need to like set boundaries. Thank you.
Absolutely. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So I asked you, how did the change of scenery to LA affect your video in your life?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I think a lot of people who were following me at the time, when they found out I was moving to LA, were like, there she goes. You know what I mean? Like, there goes the girl that we fell in love with.

Speaker 1 She's about to die. You know what I mean? Like, she's not going to be here anymore.
And I think to a certain extent, that was a valid concern. And I think,

Speaker 1 well, okay, here's the thing.

Speaker 1 It was such a huge life shift in my foundation and my reality changed so much that my sense of identity kind of went out the window. And I was having to like rebuild

Speaker 1 my new,

Speaker 1 I mean, and this happens regardless of

Speaker 1 if you're moving to LA and doing YouTube or if you're just literally a teenager, you know, like there was a lot of shifting that was going on. It was like I was making new friends.

Speaker 1 I was starting to try to date guys. Like, I was like living on my own and

Speaker 1 like trying to figure out what that entailed. And like, there was so many life changes all at once that like a whole new group of people, a whole new scenery.
It was just like whatever.

Speaker 1 My sense of identity was fucked.

Speaker 1 And so, when it came to like making videos, the shift from moving from home to moving to LA took such a psychological toll on me that I don't think I was willing to admit to myself at the time, but it was so exhausting to,

Speaker 1 you know, find your footing in a new place, especially LA, that like I was very drained just from life itself.

Speaker 1 And so when it came time to like make YouTube videos, I was like, I am so fucking tired just from like existing here right now that I think my content at certain times throughout the first year and a half, two years of being in LA, like my content had moments of suffering because

Speaker 1 there were just moments when I was

Speaker 1 my life itself was

Speaker 1 a mess. And not even a mess in a bad way, just simply a mess where I didn't feel like I had a foundation.

Speaker 1 Can you explain, in your opinion, like the good and the bad evil parts of LA when you're talking about your experience?

Speaker 1 I think the good

Speaker 1 is that there are so many people here that are in a similar industry

Speaker 1 to me and to you.

Speaker 1 It's so being here is nice because there's a lot of people around that can relate because it's a very unique situation and it's comfortable to be around people that are in the same industry as you.

Speaker 1 But, but

Speaker 1 but, well, also another good thing about LA is that,

Speaker 1 you know, there's a lot more opportunities here and it's a lot easier.

Speaker 1 Like, if you have to do a shoot for something or if you have to do an interview for something, you know, everybody's in the same area.

Speaker 1 So it's just a lot more convenient to get a lot more done because everything's here. It's either here in New York.
And usually it's here, actually. A lot of people from New York fly here to do stuff.

Speaker 1 And so living here is very easy to get the most done. And I can't take that away from LA.
Also, LA, you know, it's like the weather's nice and like,

Speaker 1 you know, you're close to the beach. Like, there's great things about LA, but I will say that there is a lot of toxic stuff about it.
Number one, being that you can't walk anywhere.

Speaker 1 That makes me really upset. Number two, that's like the stupidest thing to complain about, but it sucks.

Speaker 1 Number two,

Speaker 1 being around people that are in the same industry as you is also not always the best thing because there's a lot of competitiveness. There's a lot of trying to, you know, use you to get farther.

Speaker 1 And that's something I didn't anticipate. You know, it's great when you can find someone here who is in the same space as you

Speaker 1 that like

Speaker 1 just wants companionship, but that's actually more rare than you think. Yeah.
So there's a lot of

Speaker 1 room to get fucked over when you're being friends with people in your industry. And that's something that I really struggled with and experienced.

Speaker 1 When you say that, can you elaborate a little bit on like, when was a, and you know, obviously you're not naming names, but

Speaker 1 when was a moment that you realized like,

Speaker 1 I think I'm getting used right now. Oh my God.
It's like been so many times. I mean, like,

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 and sometimes using is not always a bad thing.

Speaker 1 Like, sometimes you can even find yourself being like, well, yeah, they're maybe using me, but I guess I'm kind of using them too, you know, like in certain types of collaborations, things like that.

Speaker 1 But I think that's kind of different because usually, when it comes to like a collaboration of some sort,

Speaker 1 it's a mutual benefit. Sometimes it's not, though.
And in those moments, you're like, okay, I'm not benefiting from this at all. This person's like profiting off of me in some way.

Speaker 1 And I don't feel number one

Speaker 1 like it's having a positive impact on me. And number two, like I don't think that they actually care about me.
And so that's when it gets a little messy is when

Speaker 1 it's not a mutual thing.

Speaker 1 And you can tell that they actually don't even care about you at all. And, you know,

Speaker 1 it's a part of it. Again, like, it's a part of it.

Speaker 1 And so I, in retrospect, now that I'm far away from all people or all things that could ever put me in a spot where I would be used or would feel taken advantage of in some way, like now that I'm far away from those things and I can look back at those moments when I did feel that way and I was wrapped up in those things, I forgive because I understand that,

Speaker 1 you know, it's like we're all just trying to prove that we deserve

Speaker 1 to have dropped out of college or to have dropped out of high school or to have moved to LA. Like, we're all just trying to make it happen.

Speaker 1 And so, if somebody thought that they could benefit from me in some way, yeah, that's not nice of them, but also I understand where their head was at, and I'm able to forgive now.

Speaker 1 When you say you're able to forgive, so you've been burned by people.

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Speaker 1 And like, again,

Speaker 1 so not saying so surface, but not going into actual detail. Like when you say burns, like, can you give an example? Like, was it someone asking you to be in a video?

Speaker 1 Was it someone asking to come in your videos? Was it someone a brand deal? Like, what are you referring to?

Speaker 1 There was like a few instances where, you know, people would want me to appear in their videos, for example. And,

Speaker 1 you know, I would be like, I can't today because like I need to be working and I need to, like, I have to be do, and they'd be like, and, you know, maybe because they were more successful than me in some ways or whatever, when they would be like, you have to.

Speaker 1 I would be like, okay.

Speaker 1 You know, and so I was young and very yes man when I first moved to LA. So if somebody and these like YouTubers who are maybe more established,

Speaker 1 I think that they knew that they could kind of

Speaker 1 push me around a little bit, not only on camera, but off as well, just by,

Speaker 1 you know, like they just knew that I was really

Speaker 1 also still kind of a fan of everyone. I think they could sense that as well.
So a lot of people, I think,

Speaker 1 knew that they could take advantage of me and that it would be fine. And listen, again,

Speaker 1 it's fine. Like, I get get it, but I'm also like, but it still sucked.
And it, it made me a lot less productive.

Speaker 1 And it made me depressed because I felt like just an object in some ways, which again, I don't think that was their intent, but I felt like I was just like a fucking drone, a corporate drone.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like a YouTube corporate drone.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I honestly would say that the ways that I was burned the most, though, were like more personal ways, like the ways that just like

Speaker 1 people who were like kind of bullies to me, like behind the scenes. Like you would never, like, not necessarily on camera, but like most of the shit that was like

Speaker 1 bad was like behind the scenes. Whereas just like shitty friends,

Speaker 1 point blank. You know what I mean? And I feel like when you're also saying that, would it also, but it would always somehow tie back to content?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, I think that our friendship was based in content. Yeah.
You know, a lot of the times it was like, what was our friendship without content? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like if we

Speaker 1 weren't friend like if we weren't making content together would we be friends it's hard to say yeah that's what i think a lot of people um aren't able to obviously aren't privy to that information on the internet you see these people they're hanging out oh my god they're new friends most

Speaker 1 of the relationships that I have seen in LA are transactional. A thousand percent.

Speaker 1 I don't know a lot of people that like genuinely when we're all home like for like holidays, like those people are not conversing

Speaker 1 being like, hey, girl, like how are you doing? Like it's not like that. It's all based on, we're back in LA.
You want to shoot a TikTok? Yes. And

Speaker 1 you're promoting. I remember doing it in the beginning of my show when I co-host.
It was like we were promoting being like best friends. We had met like three months before.
Of course.

Speaker 1 And it was like, but you sell this like fun.

Speaker 1 lifestyle and it doesn't look great. I guess people think that if you're standing with someone that doesn't have followers, that's actually your friend from your hometown.
Right.

Speaker 1 No one's interested in in that. But if you're standing next to,

Speaker 1 if I'm standing next to Tana Mongeau, that is logistically going to get more downloads and views than if my friend Jackie from home is going to be next to me. Like, who is that bitch? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So there is like an incentive to create these dynamics,

Speaker 1 but it's really dark. Well, it's interesting because actually, some of the friendships were

Speaker 1 like quite close friendships where we were talking a lot. Some of them not.
But like some of them genuinely were close like that.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 the question still remains: would we be friends if we weren't making content together when we were together? Right. And it's like, that's kind of where it gets foggy, right?

Speaker 1 Because it's like, we were really close,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 if we weren't making content together, like, would we be hanging out? Would we even care to check in on one another? You know what I mean? Where was the intent? When did

Speaker 1 those type of dynamics, when did you wake up and they stop?

Speaker 1 It happened like one by one, I would say. Like

Speaker 1 I would have kind of realization about

Speaker 1 just, and it wasn't like anything.

Speaker 1 Some of them there was like moments where it was like a blow up where I was just like, fuck you, you know, like this is just like not, like, you are using me. I can tell, fuck you.

Speaker 1 But then other moments, it was like.

Speaker 1 It was more just like a drift away where I was like, you know what? How is our friendship off camera? And if the friendship was like not good, then I was was like, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm just going to back away. And I've always been somebody where I'm like, I don't feel much sadness.
If a friendship's not like positive, I'm, I will be the first one to fucking cut it off.

Speaker 1 And just, because

Speaker 1 what's the point? You know, even if we're profiting off of our friendship, even if we're not, even if it's a private friendship, both. I will like walk away with no

Speaker 1 remorse if I feel like it's right. And so that I kept that principle for all friendships,

Speaker 1 you know, throughout my teen years. Have you ever stayed in a friendship longer for fear of the public perception and the fallout?

Speaker 1 Yes. Like I've definitely like I've definitely struggled to cut off public friendships a lot more.

Speaker 1 Public friendships have always been harder to kind of back away from, even if it was like what needed to happen for all parties, you know, like it's definitely harder because you're like, God, like, you know, even if this ended civilly or even if it fucking didn't,

Speaker 1 we, you know, I don't want someone else, the other party, to get in trouble by the court of public opinion for our friendship ending because even, let's say they did the worst shit.

Speaker 1 Let's say they were such an asshole to me.

Speaker 1 They're going to pay enough with their own conscience. Yeah.
You know, I don't think it's necessary to have the world knowing about that too.

Speaker 1 What do you get anxiety about in general? Like, what are the main things that give you anxiety? I would say the main thing that gives me anxiety

Speaker 1 is

Speaker 1 the pub is

Speaker 1 something

Speaker 1 happening

Speaker 1 where my character is

Speaker 1 portrayed incorrectly and it being believed, right?

Speaker 1 And me not feeling like I'm able to to say this is not me because i know like i don't care what anybody says i'm not a bad person so and i know that and i know that because

Speaker 1 i have too much of a conscience like i i the guilt i feel about

Speaker 1 everything

Speaker 1 I I can't do bad shit.

Speaker 1 Like, I, because I just, my guilt and conscience is so strong that, like, I almost wish I had less of that because I actually feel feel guilty about things that I don't need to feel guilty about and it sucks, you know, like, but I know that I'm not a bad person, but I do

Speaker 1 sometimes fear that something will get in the, somebody will even spread a rumor about me that's not real. And that will become known as fact.

Speaker 1 And I know how things work on the internet where it's like, People aren't digging into every single story that they see.

Speaker 1 So if like a bad story that comes out about me comes out, people see it, they're just going to take it as fact. And let's say a week later, it's proven, oh, that's not true.
Like

Speaker 1 Emma didn't hit an old person in the street.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 people are still going to remember the article that they saw where

Speaker 1 they said that I did. And

Speaker 1 that's what freaks me out is that, you know,

Speaker 1 I don't always feel like I'm able to defend myself. And I also don't always want to.
Yeah. And I also can't go in and

Speaker 1 defuse every rumor about myself. I would be fucking, that's all I would ever do.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 If I went and addressed every fucking rumor or every fake blah, blah, blah, blah, blah about me, you know, I wouldn't, that would be actually my full-time job. So like, I can't do it.

Speaker 1 And so it's just like this process of trying to figure out, like,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 like I just feel so out of control of the public perception of me because somebody could go and lie about me tomorrow. And you know what?

Speaker 1 The other thing is, I don't, like, let's say I did do something fucked up. Let's say I did push an old lady in the street.
Let's say I was having a really bad day. Who knows?

Speaker 1 There's not a lot of room for having a bad day. There's not a lot of room for making a one-off mistake.
And even if that's not something that reflects my character, how am I,

Speaker 1 I can apologize and say, this is not me, all I want. But everybody does that.
And how do people even know that I'm being honest? You know, so it's like, it kind of feels like a witch hunt in a way.

Speaker 1 And I think that in some areas, like, yeah, criticism is necessary.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. But I think that sometimes like people love it.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 they want to feed the drama. And I don't want to be the butt of that.
And listen, it's happened.

Speaker 1 You survive, but it just fucking sucks. And it sucks even more when it's not

Speaker 1 true or it's not a representation of you as a person. And people make blanket statements like, oh, we, we heard Emma did this one time.
Emma is now evil all around.

Speaker 1 You know, there was like a rumor that I was a bully in high school. And I remember I was like, okay,

Speaker 1 and I saw like a girl from my high school made a TikTok that was fully not true. It was fully not true about like me saying some mean shit during class.
Like made up this whole like fake story.

Speaker 1 I'm like, girl,

Speaker 1 we went to all girls school. We were like nerdy, like nobody was bullying each other in high school.
Is there a chance that I excluded somebody in high school?

Speaker 1 Is there a chance that I maybe made a snarky remark to someone in high school? Fuck yes, there is. There's a great chance that I probably did that sometimes.
I woke up too early.

Speaker 1 I was in a bad fucking mood. Sure.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I never did anything evil. I know that for a fact.
And do you know what? If I did, I'm sorry. I don't know.
I don't remember. Do you fucking remember what you did in high school?

Speaker 1 No, nobody fucking remembers. And we're also kids.
It's like kids playing in a fucking knife drawer. We're all learning how to be good people and you're gonna fuck up in that process.

Speaker 1 But it's the fact that, you know, my identity is in the hands of like everyone who's ever met me and everybody who's ever seen me do anything. And I don't have control over that.

Speaker 1 And the psychological damage is quite, it is crazy. But also.

Speaker 1 I signed up for it.

Speaker 1 So here we are. You know what I mean? Most people listening to this podcast right now are the ones that you're referring to as your boss, my boss.

Speaker 1 They're listening to this and they're going to make a decision. Yeah.
Do we like Emma Chamberlain? Right. Does the daddy gang like Emma Chamberlain? And I'm sure.
It's okay if you guys don't. No.

Speaker 1 And I'm sure vice versa. There's going to be people that are like, there's people that don't like me and they'll be like, why did Emma go on Alex's show?

Speaker 1 And it's like, people are unforgiving and ruthless on the internet. And not only that, they are excited when there's drama.

Speaker 1 Like there are, there have been episodes where people are like, I'm going to cancel you for having that person on your show. Yeah.
But does it say more about me for having them on?

Speaker 1 Why are those episodes the most downloaded though? Of course. So that's actually you guys are listening.

Speaker 1 You are the ones ingesting it. You're clicking on it.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's a scary industry a little bit to be in right now. I agree.
And I think the other thing is, is that there's a difference between, you know, somebody

Speaker 1 doing something genuinely bad, right? And something genuinely bad and having an intent that's like, I actually

Speaker 1 like want to hurt people, you know, because that, that happens on the internet.

Speaker 1 You know, you see people fuck up and do things that genuinely directly harm people and they actually had the intent of harming people, right?

Speaker 1 I never

Speaker 1 on my whole time on the internet have ever posted something with the, with a negative intent, right? Now listen, if I do something that is perceived in a way where it's like, Emma, that's not right.

Speaker 1 And here's why, that's fine. I'm willing to like learn.
I'm always open-minded, you know, and I think criticism, constructive criticism,

Speaker 1 there's nothing wrong with it.

Speaker 1 This could have been perceived in a way that was offensive and hurtful. I totally get that.
Then it's like, okay, we'll go from there and thank you for letting me know. Let's move on.

Speaker 1 Like, I didn't have that intent, but I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm so glad that, you know, you let me know.

Speaker 1 I'm so happy to do better next time and to to be more aware of how this could be perceived wrong but it's when people are like oh no you're done you're done because even though you had no idea what you were doing and even though it was a complete complete 200 accident you're still done because you made a mistake that is such fucking uncharted territory how are you supposed to predict it's like i could fucking like put on deodorant in a video and i feel like at this point somebody's gonna be like

Speaker 1 you're offending people that don't want to wear deodorant like no literally you know what i mean? It's like, I understand that, like,

Speaker 1 you have to, if somebody does something wrong, holding them accountable is fair and in some actually places, very good.

Speaker 1 I've learned so much from being on the internet and from people being like, hey, when you talk about this, like, this, that's not cool.

Speaker 1 And I've been like, damn, I would have never known that otherwise. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Like, truly, like, I'm grateful for that. But it's when it's like people twisting shit just for funsies

Speaker 1 and not giving me room to be like it just discourages me and it just makes me yeah it makes me want to disappear yeah you know how has your brand evolved

Speaker 1 when i first started uh on the internet in general i was just kind of copying what all the girlies were doing you know i was like okay i'll talk about makeup and clothes and things like that and then that wasn't really

Speaker 1 lighting my soul on fire so then I was like I'm gonna start vlogging and I just started vlogging and then I vlogged for years I mean I was like

Speaker 1 you know, just like filming random shit. Like whatever I thought was like funny or interesting or random at the time, I was just filming it.
And so, um,

Speaker 1 and some like more concept-based videos too, like stuff where I was like

Speaker 1 going to children's place and trying to pick out a cute outfit, you know, like shit like that. Yeah.
Um, and just like having fun with whatever.

Speaker 1 I kind of had no, I was like, my baseline theme on my channel is me. So like whatever happens, I'm just like the main theme of it, which, I mean,

Speaker 1 what kind of like self-centered idiot 16-year-old you have to be to think that that's existing. I know, right? I'm like, damn.
It's about me. I'm like, it's about me.
Okay, that's it.

Speaker 1 My, what's your channel about, babe? It's about me. Hey, tune in, bitch.
Tune in. I promise you'll love it.
No.

Speaker 1 But really, that was it. And then I think within the past like year or so, I've been trying to kind of make my content a little bit more mature because I'm more mature, you know.

Speaker 1 So like on my podcast, I've been talking about more serious topics. And on my YouTube, you know,

Speaker 1 the last few videos I made were very like

Speaker 1 more just like chill and toned down and just relaxed and like not super based on like a gimmicky kind of concept, like just kind of just me existing and doing whatever and like editing the videos myself in a way that I felt was like

Speaker 1 calming and more mature to watch, I would say.

Speaker 1 Because I just don't think that like I want to be making, you know, I have to evolve the things that I'm putting out or else they'll seem ingenuine they have to evolve with me or else it's like not gonna work right

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Speaker 1 you mentioned kind of having an identity crisis you have an entire life to live how do you see this public persona that you created basically as a child yeah

Speaker 1 evolving into adulthood

Speaker 1 this is something I've been thinking about a lot because

Speaker 1 I think that the last

Speaker 1 four years or whatever of me being on the internet, you know, I

Speaker 1 when it came to

Speaker 1 my career, I was just in autopilot. I was just like pumping shit out, and it was coming from my heart still, but it was like

Speaker 1 I was just kind of like on go, go, go, go, go mode. So

Speaker 1 I wasn't thinking about anything too deeply, and I also wasn't thinking about, I definitely wasn't thinking about my own personal identity when no one's around and I'm by myself and I look in the mirror, who is that?

Speaker 1 I was so focused on

Speaker 1 working 24-7 for the past four years that I was teetering between

Speaker 1 having no thoughts and being burnt out and just feeling like I was like dying because I just could not look at a Final Cut Pro one more fucking time, right?

Speaker 1 But then also moments of just like

Speaker 1 absolutely just busting shit out. And like, it was just like back and forth teetering.
That left no time for me to ever have a free moment to be like, okay, wait, who am I outside of all this? So,

Speaker 1 for the past four years, you know, I've just been on this hamster wheel of working and working and working and working and working and, you know, kind of exploiting myself at times to just

Speaker 1 do as much as I possibly could. Especially because I started to get so many opportunities that I was excited about.
I was like, well, I don't want to say no. You know what I mean? Like,

Speaker 1 I want to do everything, but you can't do that. But I didn't know that at the time.
So I was spreading myself so thin and giving myself no time to

Speaker 1 sit back and be like, okay, wait, who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you?

Speaker 1 And within the past, I would say honestly, especially two or three months, I've been having a lot of like psychological struggles because I'm like, I'm now having to figure out,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 refine my identity after like shoving it away for the past four years, ignoring it, and just putting that on the the back burner.

Speaker 1 It's like now I'm left being like, I don't even know what fulfills me, what excites me, what,

Speaker 1 you know, makes me feel like I have purpose outside of my work. I don't know what it is because I've not let myself go there.
I didn't have the time to go there.

Speaker 1 And so that's kind of what I'm figuring out now.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I've gotten to a place where it got so dark for me, you know, even recently that I was like, well, I don't fucking care if everything goes away. I'm like, I don't care because I'm so,

Speaker 1 I'm so disconnected from

Speaker 1 myself that like, I need to refine that. And if when I'm ready to come back to the internet fully and if when I'm ready to like, you know, get back into the swing of things,

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 I, if, if people don't want to watch anymore, people don't care anymore,

Speaker 1 I need to do what I got to do. Yeah.
It's impossible.

Speaker 1 to develop your identity

Speaker 1 and be online at the same time. Because developing your identity means silence.
You need silence. You need alone time.
You need to be intimate with people.

Speaker 1 You know, you need all of these types of things that do not align with being a fucking YouTuber or even being a podcaster at times.

Speaker 1 You know, I think podcasts is like, when it comes to personal identity, it's easier, especially too, because they can't always see you. There's something nice about it.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 But with YouTube specifically, it's like trying to develop your personality and simultaneously continue to be consistent on the internet.

Speaker 1 It's like you cannot do both because you have to have a fully formed something to show. Did you ever watch Harry Potter? You know I did.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Did you watch their reunion? No.

Speaker 1 Emma, you need to watch it. I don't know if anyone listening is a Harry Potter fan, but some people may consider me like Slytherin.
I'm more of like a Gryffindor Hufflepuff.

Speaker 1 You're giving me Gryffindor through and through. And I like, and I don't say that about many people.
People like Slytherin, which I'm like, no, I'm Hufflepuff. Like, no, I'm not Hyfly.

Speaker 1 You're not Hufflepup. You're Gryffindor.
Anyways, it is fascinating because Emma Watson,

Speaker 1 Daniel Radcliffe, and

Speaker 1 I think it was Ron who was like, I love how I'm calling the sea. I'm even calling them by those names, the characters.
Of course. They literally said, they were like, when we stopped the movies,

Speaker 1 I genuinely felt uncomfortable when people called me my real name. I didn't feel like I could even identify with that name.
Totally. Child stars or child performers or now

Speaker 1 internet kids that come up on the internet

Speaker 1 they are losing some of their identity in the characters that they're portraying how did the growth of emma chamberlain

Speaker 1 stop

Speaker 1 when emma chamberlain the internet character was born

Speaker 1 you know

Speaker 1 I wouldn't say that like my growth completely stopped because I, you know, it's like I was still growing.

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 for the last four years, made my entire purpose in life

Speaker 1 to like, at a certain point, I was like, my entire purpose is to now succeed at this and take it as far as I can and enjoy it while I'm doing it. Right.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 I put away and threw away all other purposes that I had even brewing in me. I was like, I don't give a fuck about anything else.
I'm throwing all of my eggs in this, in this basket.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? I want to make, this is my only purpose. And then now I'm at a place where I've arrived at what I wanted to happen.

Speaker 1 And now I'm left with this feeling where I'm like, this is fucking amazing. And I'm so happy that I'm here.

Speaker 1 But I don't have any more goals in this area, right? I don't have any more thing. I don't want to get more followers.
I don't want to get more views. I don't care about that shit anymore.

Speaker 1 You know, like at a certain point, I was like, I would love to grow this as big as I can. Like, whatever.
Now I'm like, I don't really think it needs to go any bigger. Like, I'm good.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? I'm fine with it how it is now.

Speaker 1 So I'm having to like figure out now

Speaker 1 what things will give me purpose outside of

Speaker 1 this.

Speaker 1 And it's a fucking hard pill to swallow. I didn't, I, you know, I'm like, I'm 20 and I'm like,

Speaker 1 where, I have to, now I have to find a whole new purpose, but

Speaker 1 also everybody is looking at me and is like,

Speaker 1 look at that, like, you know, but you, but you have this to look at. And I'm like, I need something bigger and deeper for myself that might not have anything to do with the internet.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? I just don't know what that is yet. And so that's been something that I've been struggling with is like, you know, I haven't had time to like, you know, do hobbies or whatever.

Speaker 1 But the other thing is, is that I'm now in a routine where like I don't really have a lot of inspiration to do things that don't involve my work, which is a weird thing that like, because my work and my hobbies became one, right?

Speaker 1 Right. So like, I don't have like the desire to do other little hobbies that like my brain convinces me are pointless to do.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? Well, and also your

Speaker 1 job

Speaker 1 has flowed in not only to like your purpose and your hobby, but it's also flowed into into like your actual lifestyle and living. Every part of my life.
You can't go,

Speaker 1 you're not even 21, but if once you're 21, you can't go to a bar and not get recognized. And what you do in that bar is a direct reflection on your job, which is your purpose.

Speaker 1 And so every single aspect of your life is wrapped up basically in your job. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which

Speaker 1 for some people is very normal. And for some people, it's like, oh, I work at 95.
And when fucking Friday hits, I am a different beast on the weekend. Absolutely.
You don't have a weekend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's honestly like everything in my life is melded into one where it's like my job, my social life, or lack thereof most of the time, because I'm too anxious.

Speaker 1 But like, you know, every element of my life is all connected. You know, I don't have a separation.
of things.

Speaker 1 And because of that, it all feels like everything could fall apart if I just pushed the the wrong domino and it could just all fucking fall down. Like, you know,

Speaker 1 it's, it's, everything feels very fragile, which is why I'm now like, okay, I can't have all my eggs in this basket. I want to continue doing this.

Speaker 1 This is, you know, my passion and something that I, I enjoy doing this stuff, right?

Speaker 1 But I have to find a life outside of it and

Speaker 1 solidify that life and like make that life something where I'm not so worried about what people think of me on the internet.

Speaker 1 I'm not so worried about, you know, if this all went away tomorrow, because I do have this life outside of it that's so rich that it doesn't matter. Walk me through

Speaker 1 social anxiety now with this platform.

Speaker 1 It is,

Speaker 1 I mean, of course, like I do love meeting people. I mean, I really do.
And I am generally a social person, I would say. Like, I'm, I don't really get.
social anxiety about talking to people.

Speaker 1 Like, if somebody comes up, I mean, there's been moments when it's been like kind of overwhelming or something just because it was like, you know, I was late to something or blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 I always, you know, the actual interaction itself is always pleasant, you know.

Speaker 1 The only thing that I'm paranoid about is people who don't maybe like me and see me in public and they are like want to film me or are like watching me and like making fun of me behind my back.

Speaker 1 Like it's the fact that I could be anywhere and somebody might recognize me and I might not actually know that they know me. If somebody comes up to me and like says, oh my God, like, what's up?

Speaker 1 You know, like, that's sweet. I don't actually mind that.

Speaker 1 It's the fact that I don't know

Speaker 1 when I'm just another human being drifting through the street or when

Speaker 1 somebody is watching me because they've seen me before. That is what makes me anxious.

Speaker 1 And that's what makes it hard, you know, because I'm constantly feeling like I'm being surveillanced, whether I know it or not.

Speaker 1 What are you doing, though, like tangibles, in order to try to find and redefine that identity that you're looking for? Um, I think a big step in it was

Speaker 1 deciding like that I'm gonna

Speaker 1 probably step back from YouTube, okay, you know, just because

Speaker 1 I will say that, and I mean, I don't know, I'm not making anything definite, right? I'm just like, this is just where I'm at now. I take a day by day, that's what I have to do, or else I lose my mind.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I, I do, like, for me, doing a weekly podcast is something that I can do. Cause I mean, it's very much me sitting in bed and like just talking.

Speaker 1 But I also think that by stepping back from YouTube, I have a lot more free time so that I can figure out, okay, maybe I want to like,

Speaker 1 you know, who knows what I want to do, but like I might.

Speaker 1 want to do something else that's creative that I can create for, you know, the world to hopefully enjoy if they decide to enjoy it. Like

Speaker 1 it gives me room to explore, number one, like what I could do next in my career, but also it gives me more time to like develop friendships properly because I also

Speaker 1 don't like to have people in my videos or in my on my podcast or anything because I just gives me too much anxiety and I like it just to be me.

Speaker 1 And so, you know, it caused me to push a lot of people away because I couldn't combine work and play, you know, I had to keep those very separate. And so because of that, it was like,

Speaker 1 I didn't hang out with people very often. So I'm taking this time to just like have as much free time as possible and just

Speaker 1 let myself get really bored and like see what I

Speaker 1 do to entertain myself. I also hear when you're saying you're going to give yourself that freedom to find things you like, but then don't grab the camera and film it for content.
Like, no, it's yours.

Speaker 1 Let it be yours. Let a hobby be yours.
And don't be like, oh, this would make a good vlog. Yes.
Like, there's got to be a line for yourself of like, no, because then you're working.

Speaker 1 Like, do it for yourself. I can already feel like the tension.
You're like, fuck, I know. And I've done it too where I'm like, oh, that was such a fun moment.

Speaker 1 And then I have to exploit it on my podcast. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 it's hard. And I think I have to be strict with myself and be like, Emma, like,

Speaker 1 you know, you can do your podcast, but you can't be posting videos and be trying to figure out who you are and what you enjoy to do when the camera's off.

Speaker 1 If the camera's still fucking on every week, you just can't figure it out. So,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 I don't know like what's like,

Speaker 1 I'm constantly like changing my like, I'm like, oh, now I'm doing this. Oh, wait, now I'm doing this.
Like, I'm all over the place, right? Dude, you're 20, as you should be. Right.

Speaker 1 So it's like, I, but I just don't think, I also don't know if

Speaker 1 I feel like that there might be something else out there that might excite me career-wise and might light me, light my soul on fire, you know, like there's something out there that I might be missing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and so I want to have a little bit of time to explore that and see like what I want to do next that's gonna be exciting to me. Um,

Speaker 1 I think that's amazing. So, yeah,

Speaker 1 in terms of growing up, basically, on the internet,

Speaker 1 you have

Speaker 1 presented a very like PC brand, and no sex, no,

Speaker 1 like we don't even know, like, has Emma Chamberlain ever had sex? Has she ever kissed a boy? Has she ever given, like, we don't know. Like,

Speaker 1 how has

Speaker 1 people's fascination with your sexuality affected your sexuality? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's really interesting because I always, I struggled with my sexual identity growing up as well because as I mentioned earlier, like I was just a late bloomer and I just also wasn't like an ultra feminine girl, and I've never been like a super stereotypically feminine woman, but yet, like, I, I

Speaker 1 am a straight woman, like that's what I am, but like, no one ever, like, I've always gotten like shit for that, you know, and people have growing up too, you know, like people

Speaker 1 being like, that's not true. And I'm like, you guys, like,

Speaker 1 why?

Speaker 1 And, and I mean, listen, like, I don't ever want to complain. Like, sexuality is such a

Speaker 1 tough and like intimate and emotion-filled subject that, like, I don't want to complain about people, like, you know,

Speaker 1 questioning my sexuality because I know it can be so much worse and so much more complex. Um,

Speaker 1 so I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but at the time, I was like, you know, people,

Speaker 1 like, I remember my ex-boyfriend

Speaker 1 was like,

Speaker 1 we were dating, and like, one of his friends, like, was like, dude, like, she doesn't actually like you. Like, she, I don't think she actually likes you.
Like, she's, I think she likes girls.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't think she likes you. And then he came to me and told me that.
And I was like, why the fuck would you say that? Like, just why the fuck would you say that?

Speaker 1 Like, why are you assuming that, like, because that's not true. And if it was true, so fucking be it.
But, like, why is this like, why are people speculating? Like, I'm, like, I'm dating it. Like,

Speaker 1 why do you think he thought that so he actually told my ex-boyfriend why he thought this and it was because i didn't wear makeup and i did and i wore sweatpants a lot

Speaker 1 so all of a sudden now i'm like not allowed to like boys

Speaker 1 i was like shut like right holy fuck i mean seriously like just stupid and i mean i've always thought like

Speaker 1 I mean, I get it. We're humans, like, we're curious about other humans.

Speaker 1 And so I don't think it's like, I don't think there's anything wrong with within the privacy of your own mind to look at somebody else and be like, hmm, I wonder this, this, or that about their sexuality.

Speaker 1 If you do that within the safety of your own mind, totally fine. Sure.

Speaker 1 But don't go to my boyfriend and be like, dude,

Speaker 1 like, I think you're barking up the wrong tree here. Like, that's so fucking rude.
Did that affect your relationship then with your boyfriend in terms of psychologically for you? Was it always...

Speaker 1 I was like, well.

Speaker 1 All of a sudden now I feel like I need to start being like, not myself. Like, this is me.
Right. You know what I mean? This is just who I am.
Like trying to prove now you're straight.

Speaker 1 Like, no, I do like guys. I do like you.
Yeah. And I'm like, why the fuck should I have to prove that anyway? Nobody should ever have to prove shit about never.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's so incredibly nobody's business, which is, I think,

Speaker 1 why, like, I've always kind of been afraid of getting into it is just because I'm like, sexuality is also something that has ebbs and flows too.

Speaker 1 Like, some moments you're like, oh my God, I'm on like a roll. I'm just like hooking up with everybody.
And like, I just, whatever.

Speaker 1 And sometimes you're like, I literally can't remember the last time I felt like any kind of excitement about anything sexually. Like, there's so many moments, things are constantly evolving there.
But

Speaker 1 I also think that I'm just not somebody where,

Speaker 1 actually, let me praise.

Speaker 1 Because I was

Speaker 1 a very late developer as a young person, and because I didn't get any attention from guys really for my appearance,

Speaker 1 I definitely like

Speaker 1 became used to getting attention from what I was talking about and like what I was and how I was behaving.

Speaker 1 And like that was what I started to lean into more because I was like, well, people don't, I don't have boobies. So like nobody's looking at me for my boobies.

Speaker 1 So, you know, I have to figure out some other way to get attention. And so that kind of became muscle memory where I was like, well, now I just feel like nobody's ever ever looking at me and is like

Speaker 1 looking at me in a sexual way.

Speaker 1 So in order to like get attention,

Speaker 1 I just have to like

Speaker 1 utilize my personality and then hope that like

Speaker 1 through that

Speaker 1 somebody will be able to be attracted to me in a more sexual way. Like if they maybe like like me personality wise.

Speaker 1 So that's kind of what I became used to, but it always made me feel shitty because I was like,

Speaker 1 I just don't think guys are looking at me and are like looking at me in a sexual way ever. And that fucked with me because I was like,

Speaker 1 but,

Speaker 1 but why? Like, you know what I mean? I was like, this sucks. And even now that I'm older and like I, like my boob has grown like maybe like this much, like

Speaker 1 a tiny, little, little, tiny bit. But now that I'm older, you know, it's like,

Speaker 1 even though like that's not really as much of an issue anymore, it's still,

Speaker 1 there's a little trauma there, you know, where in the back of my head, I'm like, number one, I remember people always not believing that I was, like, that I was

Speaker 1 somebody who preferred dating men,

Speaker 1 which like fucked with me. But then, also, like, I

Speaker 1 like have memories of like just guys not being attracted to me physically. And then, on top of that,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 I'm also just not a super outwardly sexual person. Like I never present myself in a very outwardly sexual way.
I'm just not comfortable doing that.

Speaker 1 And I don't have, there's nothing wrong with doing that. I just, it's never felt right to me.

Speaker 1 And I've always felt like, well, because I'm not an outwardly sexual person,

Speaker 1 like, does that make me

Speaker 1 less attractive to in some ways? You know what I mean? So,

Speaker 1 but like, that's just, it's so interesting though, because the perception of me is, is so interesting for me to like watch.

Speaker 1 Like, people are like, I've seen comments that are just like, there's just no way like Emma's ever had sex. And I get it, but I get it.

Speaker 1 But then that fucks with me because I'm like, I get why they think that.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it like creeps me.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? I will admit, I'm a tomboy and I have been my whole life. And so my brand is weird because I was so over sexualizing myself

Speaker 1 that I felt imposter syndrome sometimes where I'm like, that's not actually the full truth. Like, I don't, I'm not incredible in bed every night.
That's the truth. Some days I'm really tired.

Speaker 1 And like, and so for me, it was like weird to acknowledge that. But for you, do you ever find yourself like pushing yourself to

Speaker 1 try to be more feminine so that you feel something? Like, does that make sense? A thousand percent. I,

Speaker 1 I mean, my like

Speaker 1 experiences in

Speaker 1 throughout my life actually I haven't had like a lot of one-off experiences like I've mainly just been in relationships which I think

Speaker 1 was good and bad you know what I mean well I think okay I would say when it came to like any experience I've ever had in my life where it's been like a sort of one-time thing

Speaker 1 which hasn't actually happened a lot but every time that it has I feel like I've been able to kind of play a game where maybe I'm being a little bit more feminine

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 it's like

Speaker 1 it's just fun, like it's just fun. It's like I can just like be whatever the fuck I want right now.
And it's like a fake confidence you give yourself by acting it out. You're like, I can be this way.

Speaker 1 I am. You can't do that in a relationship.
No. Because the fucking, the colors come out far too quick.
So, like, I've never really been able to play that game in a relationship.

Speaker 1 I definitely have done that in the few times that I've like again like it so it's happened but never in relationships but I found that in past relationships I didn't feel as respected by guys that I've dated in the past just because I feel like they kind of

Speaker 1 Well, especially like one relationship in particular, but it was just like I just felt like

Speaker 1 you know

Speaker 1 He was very critical of the fact that I like maybe wasn't a super feminine girl and like sometimes he was like oh, it's actually super cool and chill and then sometimes he was like he was like like if i had like put on jeans and come over he would be like

Speaker 1 oh my god like you finally like put effort in like that's crazy like it was like and you're like and i'm like dude shut the fuck off like i'm like or you know if i would be wearing makeup

Speaker 1 or whatever it would be like a big deal and like it would be like oh my god you're wearing makeup like whoa you know what i mean or like or like you should wear heels tonight and i'm like what the fuck are you talking about like i'm like no like i felt felt like I wasn't enough.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And, like, the areas that I was feminine weren't enough.
So I felt like, you know, there was an effort to make me more feminine to fit what they wanted.

Speaker 1 Which is like, again, it's like, we were fucking kids. We were, all my relationships happen, you know, at such young ages that it's like, of course, there's going to be shit like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I would say I'm fully comfortable now in

Speaker 1 like what areas I'm more feminine and what areas I'm more masculine because I simply just getting into a relationship where

Speaker 1 my

Speaker 1 masculine and feminine traits are appreciated but also like

Speaker 1 you know dating somebody who like just doesn't care about that shit and is just like enjoys people for like being a person like that it's like and less about like

Speaker 1 And also it's like kind of similar to me in the sense where like maybe not the super traditional, super masculine, super feminine, like that's not playing any roles in our relationship. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know? So, and that's what it is. It's like anyone listening, like, sometimes it just takes finding the right partner that you don't need to change yourself.
No.

Speaker 1 You just need to find someone that aligns with making you feel like you can be 100% authentically yourself around them. And when you do, that it's a beautiful place to be in.
It really is.

Speaker 1 Support for Caller Daddy comes from Google Pixel. Okay, so I recently had one of those Sundays where I convinced myself it was a great idea to reorganize my entire closet.

Speaker 1 And of course, halfway through, I found myself sitting on the floor, surrounded by clothes, completely overwhelmed.

Speaker 1 So I pulled out my Google Pixel 10 Pro because it comes with Gemini built in on the phone. I launched my camera using Gemini Live, showed it my crazy closet, and I asked for help.

Speaker 1 And immediately it hit me up with all sorts of pro-organizing tips like what to hang, how to fold stuff, and even helped me decide which items to donate and where to drop them off.

Speaker 1 It was a lifesaver, ladies, okay? But while I was neck deep in hoodies, I totally lost track of time until I got a text from Matt saying, hey, what is the address for dinner tonight?

Speaker 1 Fortunately, the Google Pixel has this feature called Magic Q that just pulls up the info you need without you having to dig through old emails and stuff.

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These AI features are for users 18 plus. Check responses, availability, and results vary.

Speaker 1 So this is Call Her Daddy.

Speaker 1 Yes, I have had sex, Alex.

Speaker 1 Can you tell me? Can you tell me when you lost your virginity or no? Yeah. Okay.
I was.

Speaker 1 I've never talked about this on the internet. This is so funny.
This is Call Her Daddy, and I'll get roasted.

Speaker 1 I also, like, in my personal life, I talk about sex all the time. Yeah.
That's why it's so fucking weird for me that I never talk about it. Like,

Speaker 1 I'm not like, I talk about it all the time. So it's like,

Speaker 1 and you're not saying saying in your show, you just mean in real life. Yeah, like in real life, I'm, I, I'm like, I talk about it all the time.
It was a weird thing at that time.

Speaker 1 You were talking about it with me. I'm not saying like even just sex.
She's not like, Emma's not like a nympho. Like I have so much sex, you guys.
Right. But like,

Speaker 1 I was surprised. I remember on that Zoom how naturally you discussed just like, oh yeah, like I loved that.
Like I've listened to your show and I like, and I was like, oh shit, I had no fucking idea.

Speaker 1 Your brand is very specific.

Speaker 1 And it's not that you're avoiding it it's just it's not talked about well that's the thing it's like if something's not talked about then how are you supposed to like know how someone where someone stands on a topic and it's interesting because yeah i just like it's so bizarre to like talk about it but it's also kind of fun okay because i feel like i'm old enough now like i'm finally old enough where i get to talk about it it's like the disney channel effect it was like when miley cyrus was like i have to go to such extreme and go like dance on a pole because like everyone sees me as a baby and i need them to not see me as that meanwhile she was like probably like fucking smoking weed on set of Montana.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? Like, there's

Speaker 1 so many things that, like,

Speaker 1 the perceptions can pigeonhole you, and then it does affect your identity. And so I can feel you being like, hey, guys, like, I'm 20.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can say I've had sex before. Yeah.
That's okay.

Speaker 1 Even though your publicist may be like, don't say that. I don't think, but also, like, I,

Speaker 1 yeah. Okay, so.
Oh, yeah. Oh.
I was

Speaker 1 17.

Speaker 1 Great age. It was actually a really not bad experience.
Like, it was with a guy that I was like seeing at the time that I was

Speaker 1 pretty comfortable with. And I mean, he was definitely like, you know, he had had sex lots of times and I obviously hadn't.
But he was like great. He like really like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It was just like...

Speaker 1 It was one of the most jarring experiences for me though in my entire life because it was one of those things where

Speaker 1 it was something I just like never believed was possible for myself because I, you know, growing up, I had these experiences of people like, you know, doubting my sexuality.

Speaker 1 You know, I even had moments where like

Speaker 1 I was kind of like, I don't even know if I like anyone. Like I went through phases where I was like, I feel nothing towards anyone.

Speaker 1 And like, I don't even know if like I'm ever going to like somebody enough to

Speaker 1 you know, let them in like that. And I also was like, I don't feel like anybody wants to do this with me.
You know, like, I've never been,

Speaker 1 nobody's ever looked at me in a sexual way before, at least to my face. So like, I don't think that this is possible.
Yeah. Um,

Speaker 1 and so when it was happening, I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 it was so, it was, I was like, this is just like, feels like everything's like shifting in my life, you know, because I was like, damn, this is like a new

Speaker 1 chapter. And I felt I had weirdly like imposter syndrome with it, right? Because I was like, I don't feel like,

Speaker 1 I'm like, are you sure that you want to do this? I'm like,

Speaker 1 nobody has ever wanted to do this. So I don't know why you want to do this.
And also, I had a huge crush on this guy at the time. So like, you know, it was even more crazy for me.

Speaker 1 And in retrospect, I can look back and be like,

Speaker 1 no, like,

Speaker 1 I, I, like, I was being hard on myself, and I didn't need to be like that. But, um,

Speaker 1 I mean, it hurt really bad. That's all.
Dude, I don't, no one should ever be like, my first time was incredible. Like, no, it was so awful.
We didn't even have sex. Right.

Speaker 1 You're like, it's like a movement. And then you're like, all right, we did it.
Because it's like, one, no one has.

Speaker 1 You're not going to have an orgasm. It's not going to fit.
You're not experienced. You don't know what you're supposed to be doing.
You don't know what you're supposed to be feeling.

Speaker 1 It's almost like, let me just get through this. Not in like a creepy way.
It's more just like, no one's going to be. Be relaxed and chill.
It doesn't get fun until you're like. Older.
Older. Yes.

Speaker 1 And even like

Speaker 1 then, like, there's always more to learn. Always.
And really, I think the weird thing is, is like that, as I've learned through my show, is like it's really starts with yourself.

Speaker 1 And a lot of people don't feel comfortable starting sexually with themselves until you get a little bit older. Right.
Because there's like a lot of weird shame.

Speaker 1 And especially if you haven't felt this like feminine sexual energy, you're so in your head that to even like be by yourself and masturbating, you're already thinking outside of your body about how

Speaker 1 totally. I'm not sexual.
This is weird. What am I? and you get in your head? Well, you also are like,

Speaker 1 it's so true. I mean, I've had moments like on a personal level, but also like with other people, like when I'm, you know, like

Speaker 1 where I've just been, I've gotten into my head and been like almost embarrassed. Where I'm like, bitch, you are not

Speaker 1 stop. Like, stop being like,

Speaker 1 like, stop faking it. Like, you're on top and you're like, I'm, this isn't, this doesn't feel genuine.
I'm like, I literally, i'm like

Speaker 1 this is not it feels like out of character yes and it doesn't feel like it aligns with me and like

Speaker 1 and you want

Speaker 1 i hate going on top because i i'm like i don't want to have to fucking think about me no but i think i think it's okay to say in terms of like sexually it's hard especially growing up where there i mean i will admit like my show as much as it probably gave women confidence it also probably drew a big hole in people's sex lives being like wait I don't do that and like I've never and then it's in you get insecure totally and again porn and everything makes you feel like you've got to be this like sexual deviant yeah and so when you're like again like a position like on top eyes are on you and you're like okay so I know I'm supposed to start like moaning and then like I should like throw my head back and like but naturally right now like I feel a little out of body imposter syndrome of like yeah I don't feel that yet and it's so it's weird but also like if you're like for me personally, I'm not like I don't fucking like want to it doesn't excite me to like do crazy shit necessarily.

Speaker 1 I just don't

Speaker 1 but it's like people are very judgmental about if you're like I'm not I don't

Speaker 1 like I listen it's not like I'm not a sexual person. There's definitely that side of me, but I also am like not a super sexual person.

Speaker 1 And like there are times when I'm like, I don't, it doesn't need to be this like whole crazy thing. Like it's just, it just is what it is.

Speaker 1 And like, I don't feel like I, I don't want to fucking perform. I don't want to, it just,

Speaker 1 and I think that the expectation to perform might actually end up being detrimental too at times because you're like, it's all about like figuring out what the vibe is.

Speaker 1 And like, if you're just like, well, the vibe doesn't feel like making really loud sounds right now, but I'm just going to do it anyway because I saw it in porn yesterday.

Speaker 1 And then you get that pattern. And then it's like, then it's like kind of like, but then it takes away from the intimacy of it.
Yes. You should just disappear and like not think.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And like let it happen. Yeah.
And that's it. You just have to get out of your own way.

Speaker 1 I will also say to like I think when what you're saying is the majority and the norm and and but people publicly don't admit that. I know.
And so it's like, let's just say it.

Speaker 1 I will admit that I like will enjoy both like it does.

Speaker 1 Okay, I know you're gonna hate it. I was about to say something.
I was gonna say it. Wait, but should I say it anyways? What?

Speaker 1 And then I'll cut it out. On Call Her Daddy, I will admit that I enjoy vanilla sex.
I think that's okay.

Speaker 1 Like, you're not trying to, like, you're not. Boring sex.
Like, you're not trying to, like, swing from the. I think that's totally fine.

Speaker 1 What's wrong with, like, fucking, like, like a good missionary and then, like, one other positionary.

Speaker 1 Go to bed. What is wrong with that? Nothing.
I don't need to fucking like literally do a helicopter background fucking

Speaker 1 fuck flip all over. I don't want to do that.
I also, like, feel feel like,

Speaker 1 like, I mean, listen, okay. Yeah.
There's moments when you can be crazy. There's moments when you can be fun.
I get it. That's like once in a blue moon.
In reality, it doesn't need to be like that.

Speaker 1 And I think it's also like, I'm thinking about like the sex I was having at 20. Like, I'm excited for you because it's like

Speaker 1 at 20, I was faking things and I was performing and I knew like I, it was all a game to me because I was like, if I do this, then he'll be obsessed with me and then blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 And it was all, it kind of all corresponded to like a bigger goal of mine, not just like the immediate bedroom.

Speaker 1 But I do think as you get older, and again, as you get to know yourself sexually, you begin to like actually find

Speaker 1 things that you know you like. And then it's not even about vanilla sex.
It's like what works for you, you can start to implement in the bedroom. And it's not like you're faking it.

Speaker 1 But you have to actually find those things by yourself. Okay, let's move on.

Speaker 1 Kate's like, I'm going to, what gives you the ick? Like, I'm going to do come some rapid fire and then we're done. I know because it's going so long.
We need to go. I know.
We don't really go for six.

Speaker 1 No, no, I know. And I actually like Wolis Newt, but I like what you said because I think girls need to teach.
I like that. I agree.
Dude, I think that also

Speaker 1 is really, yeah, it's like real and it's not like jarring. I thought you were going to say something crazier.
Then I was like, oh, that's a good answer. Emma loves anal.

Speaker 1 I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 Promo of it.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm going to go rapid fire and then we're done. I'm ready.
What gives you the ick

Speaker 1 with guys or or in general? Oh, both. Okay, with guys, I get the ick when just like any kind of like cockiness and bragging and like trying to like

Speaker 1 signal that they're like successful. To me, this is not rapid fire with me.
Nothing will ever be rapid fire with me. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 Being cocky and honestly when people like just have bad taste in like clothing and fashion. I feel

Speaker 1 like we're around Emma right now. Stop.
With my outfit. I'm like.
I'm not saying like, there's like a certain like, but they're like braggy about it. So like, got it.

Speaker 1 Being cocky about like having bad taste. That's really icky to me.
It makes me have an ick every time.

Speaker 1 Is that you? That's not you.

Speaker 1 You, you're always hot. You always are.

Speaker 1 You're not allowed to hot. So anyone wondering who we're talking to, it's our mutual publicist on the right side who's been crying this entire year.
And who's also so gorgeous? So gorgeous.

Speaker 1 And so perfect.

Speaker 1 The hottest.

Speaker 1 She's a a full sweat outfit on blue heels. Like no sweetheart.
Nobody's fuller than pink. Yeah, they're like flared sweatpants.
No, she genuinely is slaying and nobody can talk about it.

Speaker 1 Anyways, okay. Have you ever been cheated on?

Speaker 1 You know. But Emma, you're like, it can never be short.
It can never be short. Not technically, but like I've been in situations where it was maybe not right for people to be going out and they did.

Speaker 1 Fair.

Speaker 1 Have you ever cheated on someone? No.

Speaker 1 What is the longest relationship you've ever been in?

Speaker 1 A year and

Speaker 1 like 10 months.

Speaker 1 Is that the one you're in right now? I will not say.

Speaker 1 Okay, fine. Better question after that.
Do you own a vibrator? Yes.

Speaker 1 I have one downstairs. It's in a box.
I got one when I was like 17. That's amazing.

Speaker 1 Who told you to get it? You just got it yourself? It was somebody I was talking to at the time. Okay.

Speaker 1 What is the most hurtful thing someone has done to you in a relationship?

Speaker 1 I would say,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 just like not be supportive of like things that I was doing, like simple things, like work stuff, what I decided to order on a menu, like just like being in a relationship where somebody was constantly disapproving of every little thing I was doing and like being genuinely mean about it.

Speaker 1 Good answer. How is the relationship you're in now different from previous experiences with partners? It's.

Speaker 1 I mean, so many, everything about it. I mean, obviously, being like best friends with

Speaker 1 your significant other is the best fucking thing ever. And I don't think that that's ever been true prior.
Also,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 just the most, like,

Speaker 1 like, incredible, I can't even, it's just like, it's almost like when you're in a good relationship, it's like you found somebody that's like

Speaker 1 a missing piece. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And And like they just have all the things that you wish you had, and you learn from them and they learn from you and they treat you with respect and there's a mutual respect and it's like all these things and it's like also your best friend and then it all comes together and you're like, I don't have any complaints and I don't know how that's possible.

Speaker 1 You know? Could you share

Speaker 1 what do you argue about in this relationship?

Speaker 1 Not a lot.

Speaker 1 We don't argue. Can I ask you how you guys met?

Speaker 1 Through the internet. Why do you think fans have become so invested with gaining access and insight into your dating life?

Speaker 1 I think that, like, even for me, like, as a consumer of the internet, like, things are interesting when there's mystery around them. And because I don't ever confirm or deny anything,

Speaker 1 that's why I think it's so interesting. It's almost like if I were to share it, it would become possibly less interesting.
But the problem is, is that I want to protect the people that I'm dating

Speaker 1 or the people that I'm like, even just lightly talking to, or the people that I'm hooking up with, like whoever it is, at whatever given moment, like even at whatever stage it's at, I want to give them complete privacy.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I don't

Speaker 1 want my

Speaker 1 life to like affect them.

Speaker 1 Are you frustrated when you do see like if like, God forbid, like a paparazzi thing comes out of you? Like, how does that make you feel?

Speaker 1 I mean, for me me personally, I'm like, I don't care. Like, I mean, I, it's more like I'm concerned about how it affects them.
And, and I don't ever want to, like,

Speaker 1 lose an opportunity to, like, have a good connection with somebody because my lifestyle creates them stress, right?

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 and that's something I've like worried about in like relationships that I've been in that have been positive.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I just like am scared that this is gonna get out because I don't want them to feel violated and like they didn't sign up for this. Like, I, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And so, that's why I keep it private.

Speaker 1 But also, if things come out or things are speculated about, most of the time, people that I've been with or people that I haven't been with where it's been speculation and they're like, this is silly, right?

Speaker 1 But I just decide to talk about none of it because I'm like, if it's true or it's not, it doesn't fucking matter.

Speaker 1 Because if I chime in about stuff when it's not true, then that means everything I don't chime in about. Smart.
I just leave it all to the imagination. And honestly, it's kind of fun to see.

Speaker 1 It's kind of fun to see like what people assume. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, wrapping up.

Speaker 1 In 30, 40 years, what do you hope people say about Emma Chamberlain?

Speaker 1 I would hope that people would say that in one way or another,

Speaker 1 like something that I said, something that I shared made them feel inspired or made them feel comforted in some way. Like, that's my main goal: I want people to feel

Speaker 1 comfortable and heard

Speaker 1 by

Speaker 1 listening to me, but also kind of like safe in a way, too.

Speaker 1 Emma Chamberlain. Thank you for

Speaker 1 coming, Daddy. We did it.
We did it. Dude, it's been a long time.
I'm fucking sweating. I'm sweating.
Dude, I am dehydrated. My legs are cramping.
We're a mess. You look great.
I am literally.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, that was, this has just opened up a whole new chapter for me. Hours and 42 minutes is going to be another two-part series.
I can't. Wait, we needed this, though.
I could have kept going.

Speaker 1 I do feel yeah it was like therapeutic. Yeah, we need great work.
Thank you Alex. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 That was

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