Dating App Dealbreakers (ft. Lauren)

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Speaker 1 What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Speaker 1 Daddy Gang, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I am back with the one, with the only, McLarby McLarison.

Speaker 1 I feel like that's like your, what would be your DJ name, Lauren?

Speaker 2 Well, when I went to college, my Instagram name, I was dead serious. I went into college and shared this with everyone.
Laren McCott stuff. Wait, what? That was my Instagram name.

Speaker 1 Wait, how did I not know that? You were Laren McCott stuff.

Speaker 2 I was Larry McCott stuff. And like, I would meet people like freshly in my sorority, like, let's share socials.
And like, yep, hit me up at Larry McCott stuff.

Speaker 1 That's like actually

Speaker 1 offensive and that actually takes some balls to have that as your fucking name. But it's also kind of like fun if you're meeting guys and you're just like, anyways, Lauren is here today.

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Lauren is here and we are having a little girls night matt is upstairs watching football with his friends and lauren and i were acting like little freaks and so matt was like why don't you he basically was like why don't you girls go play like why don't we were listening to hand em on channel so you know what that means for us it means going through hand em on channel one and seeing how many songs we know on the album.

Speaker 1 Well, no, because this is what I said to Lauren. I said, I saw this trend on TikTok and it's like, oh, when I tell people I'm a Miley Cyrus fan and they think I'm going to play the song Flowers.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden the girl is like, and then you hear me fucking blasting East Northumberland High.

Speaker 1 If you don't know what East Northumberland High is, if you don't know what Good and Broken is, if you don't know you and me together, if you don't know nobody's perfect, life's what you make it.

Speaker 1 Like Lauren and I are OG Hannah Montana.

Speaker 2 Well, it was perfect because you would play Hannah. Yep.
I would play Lily. Yep.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Lauren and I are hanging out because Matt was like, do you guys want to watch football? And we were like, not really, not right now. We're feeling frisky.

Speaker 1 funky so we were having a little cock and we came downstairs after our cocktail and we just figured we'd podcast and hang out with you daddy gang i feel like we've been seeing each other so much recently which i'm very happy about well i'm a free bird oh i have i have no nothing tying me down nothing holding me back i can just go where the wind blows me and you do some cool things no it's actually a good point like there is so much to be said for when your friend is in a relationship and you can do like couple things, unless you fucking hate the person that your friend's in a relationship with.

Speaker 1 But like, it's nice when you're, you can do a couple things. It's also lovely that I will just text Lauren being like, hey, do you want to like come to the Super Bowl with me?

Speaker 1 And she's like, sure, I have no plans.

Speaker 1 But we are, yeah, we've been seeing each other a lot lately, which I feel very grateful for.

Speaker 1 But the last time I saw you, we've kind of been doing, we're back to the thing, you guys, where I'm like, save it for the fucking podcast because we had kind of gone through a little, we won't podcasting as much together i think it was because my relationship was crashing and burning and i wasn't in the good headspace and like he didn't want to see you on a podcast yeah um now you're back i'm back and you're better than ever

Speaker 1 and um can you give us an update on your dating life because the last we heard from you was you and i If you guys didn't listen to me and Lauren's last episode, it was how.

Speaker 2 You got to start there and then come back and meet us here.

Speaker 1 Because we basically were talking about how I was being the ultimate wing woman, really, that's what it was called.

Speaker 1 But it's about Lauren almost falling in love with a man on a plane, first class, flying high. We thought they were going to bang in the bathroom.
Turns out he was gay.

Speaker 1 So that was the last I left off with you.

Speaker 2 Oh, and I was going on a lot of dates that were eight hours and I was kissing everyone.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, yes.

Speaker 2 But I've cleaned up my act. Well, okay, so here's the update: I haven't gone on any like actual dates since we last podcasted together.
Okay, so I haven't.

Speaker 1 What the holly?

Speaker 1 The holiday.

Speaker 2 Should we take our glasses off? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 let's get serious. Let's get serious.
Kansas, fucking anything. It's right in here.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I'm not like intentionally taking a break from dating.

Speaker 2 The holidays happened.

Speaker 1 So you were kind of cruising for a minute.

Speaker 2 There was one time where I went on

Speaker 2 five dates in an eight-day time span.

Speaker 1 Wait, five dates in an eight-day time span? Jesus fucking.

Speaker 2 I was frinking and rocking and rolling.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, back to your dates. So.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I'm not like purposely taking a break or like purposely avoiding dates right now.

Speaker 2 It's just like a lot of work to like, if I'm gonna like scout out a date, like I need to like put aside like an hour at night to like do some good swiping and like make some movement.

Speaker 1 But do you feel like you kind of like burnt yourself out a little bit? Like you were kind of down for anything and now you're getting a little bit more subjective or no? You were going hard.

Speaker 1 You hit the pavement.

Speaker 2 Like Lauren, like my friends were like, why do you keep going on Sunday dates?

Speaker 1 Like I'd wake up hungover and be like, oh fuck, I have a date today. Can I say this?

Speaker 1 And you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like you went through a period where you had been saying to me, like, right when you got out of your relationship, you were like, weekends can be weird because I'm used to like laying in bed on a Sunday.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 So maybe you just like wanted like companionship. Just talk to someone.

Speaker 1 Maybe you wanted companionship. And most of your friends in Chicago are in relationships.
So I think maybe there's a part of you that was like looking just to speak.

Speaker 1 And maybe that's why your dad was going on for five hours.

Speaker 2 To have some human contact.

Speaker 1 Yes, you were just like trying. You're a social person.

Speaker 1 So maybe it was also you just like down to chat. Yeah.
Now you're getting a little bit more like.

Speaker 2 Now I'm like a little tired.

Speaker 2 I don't want to chat. But actually, so I haven't gone on a date in, I don't even know, like over a month now, a month and a half.
But I still go on the apps and like scroll and swipe and like peruse.

Speaker 2 And last week, there was this one guy.

Speaker 1 What do you have your settings to? Tell me age.

Speaker 2 30 to 45. I had a big 40-year-old face.
I think I'm done with that.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm glad that you're not going for like the 25-year-olds.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no baby boys.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you're going for the older daddies

Speaker 1 and but now you're done with the 40-year-olds.

Speaker 2 I was finding it a little 40-year-olds.

Speaker 2 I was finding it a little hard to connect with the 45-year-olds.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's pushing it. Yeah, you're like, so how many kids do you have? Yeah, like they're like, I have two families.
Oh, height. Are you in height? Yeah.
Are we allowed to say that?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I don't think I can.
I don't think I can. No, I think we can.

Speaker 1 I think we can. You, you.

Speaker 2 I like to feel small.

Speaker 1 I like to literally be so tiny they can't find me.

Speaker 2 Like, I like to look up.

Speaker 1 Wait, what is your, what is your height range?

Speaker 2 I don't have it restricted.

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't? But when you see it's like a little

Speaker 1 5'7 or you're like,

Speaker 1 sorry. I know, I'm sorry.
But to each their own.

Speaker 2 I have some inches on me.

Speaker 1 No, you're literally 5'6 ⁇ .

Speaker 1 That's tall.

Speaker 1 I think the average height of a woman is 5'5? 5'5?

Speaker 2 We're the exact same height and the exact same shoe size.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Lauren, we're 5'5. Yeah.
Lauren and I are both 5'5 and we have seven and a half shoe size and we can fit into an eight. And we have the same, we have the same everything, basically.

Speaker 1 We do the same makeup. We have the same every time.

Speaker 2 It works out really well for me.

Speaker 1 I'm dead. Anyways, okay, so back to your dates.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. So I like.
haven't gone on a date in a while, but like I keep a post on my apps and I was having some light chatter with this one guy and he seemed promising.

Speaker 2 He gave me his number on like a Thursday night, and I was like, oh, okay, like I'll text him on Sunday. Like, we don't need to make small talk through the weekend.

Speaker 2 So, on Sunday, like, I wake up, I sit down, I have my cup of coffee, and I'm like trying to clean up my app.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to like unmatch with people who died out and like go through and be like, why did I even match with him? I was feeling down in the dumps and desperate, like, goodbye.

Speaker 2 And I was just cleaning up my page. And I accidentally unmatched with the guy who gave me his number who I was about to text to go on a date with.

Speaker 1 So now on the apps, you like.

Speaker 2 He's gone.

Speaker 2 So So

Speaker 2 Chicago Daddy Gang, if you know a guy, I think he was like 31, 32, he had brown hair. He went to Columbia University.
It's hot.

Speaker 2 We were talking, he was like, oh, like fellow Columbia grad.

Speaker 2 So Chicago Daddy Gang, if you know anyone on Hinge who is brown hair, decent height, and went to Columbia, I was going to text you and I was going to go on a date with you.

Speaker 2 So find some way to contact me.

Speaker 1 I have a feeling if any girl lives in fucking Chicago and finds that man, they're they're scooping him from you.

Speaker 1 And they're like, I'm not giving a Columbia hot tall grad to you, Lauren, but good to know. Oh, wow, that fucking sucks.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 Like, there's me and he probably is like so confused because he probably thought you guys were like kind of vibing and thought you were about to like literally like suck the peepee and instead you like unmatch him.

Speaker 1 That probably is fucking him up.

Speaker 1 And he's probably talking to his friends like, I really think I'm like, I need to take a break from dating right now because I clearly am like have lost the plot and I like can't read a room because I thought I was about to fuck this girl.

Speaker 1 And meanwhile, she goes. Okay, so you accidentally unmatched.
Okay, but have you had any fun encounters at all with a man like recently?

Speaker 2 Okay, so yeah, I've been like really open to meeting people in the wild. So like I just feel like I'm walking around with like my eyes and heart open.

Speaker 1 And if you guys again didn't listen to our last episode, Lauren and I like said like there's something coming about us.

Speaker 2 No, I can feel it. I'm gonna meet someone in the wild.

Speaker 1 We are, is the word ravenous? Yeah, like we are ravenous for you to find a man to the point where like every turn, we are literally.

Speaker 2 You are objectifying men around every corner that you walk.

Speaker 1 Any man that like is somewhat attractive, I'm like, could he be the one? Matt was little, oh my God, I forgot to tell you this. Oh, my God.
Why?

Speaker 1 So, so, oh my God. So, Matt walks into the office.

Speaker 1 He walks into my office to introduce me to some guy he was just like finishing a meeting with.

Speaker 1 And he walks in, and it was a guy from like the film department that was coming to have a meeting with Matt at our offices. And he's like, hey, Alex, this is blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, Hi.

Speaker 1 And like, Matt always gives context, like, oh, he works at Netflix, or like, oh, this is a guy from Paramount, or, oh, this is a director, whatever. He's giving kind of like no context.

Speaker 1 And he's kind of looking at me. Like, Matt's like, eye, like, giving me weird eyes where I'm like, I can't read your mind, Matt.
Like, what are you trying to say?

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, so nice to meet you. And it was like kind of a weird interaction because we had no reason to talk.
He leaves.

Speaker 1 Matt comes running back into my office and goes, For Lauren, for Lauren, for Lauren. Okay, he's divorced, two kids, kids, good looking.
Kids, I know. Could we do kids? Maybe not.

Speaker 1 Well, what about how old are they?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I didn't get into enough detail, but I do think it could be like, okay, this is going to be really controversial.

Speaker 1 And I actually would love to know from people in the comments when Lauren is on this dating journey.

Speaker 1 Do we think a dad would be like a good fuck, or is he going to be lazy? I fucked a dad before.

Speaker 1 Wait, what?

Speaker 2 You don't know this story?

Speaker 1 Who?

Speaker 2 It was like three years ago, and

Speaker 2 I swooped him up at a bar. And did he like woo you with like the picture of his kids? No, his sweater.
I was obsessed with his sweater. I was like, oh, he looks like a librarian.

Speaker 1 And he's like, yeah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 mid-sex, he was like, I gotta be honest. My divorce is like in process right now.
And I was like, you did tell me that. Yeah.
And I was like, do you have kids? And he was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, like mid-stroke. And he's like, oh, I'm thinking about my divorce papers.
That's not fucking hot.

Speaker 2 But he was a lingerer the next day.

Speaker 1 But was the sexual situation?

Speaker 2 I think dads, because they like seen some shit, you know, like they've seen a baby come out of a vagina. They've like cleaned up shit diapers.
Like bodily functions don't scare dads.

Speaker 2 So I think dads are like down to get dad down and dirty.

Speaker 1 The dads? I think

Speaker 1 down for the weird shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. See, this is the kind of shit, Lauren, that I needed to know because for our single daddy gang, like I am.

Speaker 2 Don't be scared of dads.

Speaker 1 But this is also what I was going to say.

Speaker 1 I have a feeling that if you are not looking completely for a relationship and you're kind of looking just to like meet people and have good sex, I have a feeling a dad could be the perfect person because he may not be looking for anything serious.

Speaker 1 A recently divorced dad? Exactly.

Speaker 1 So like,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Like recently divorced dads.

Speaker 1 Hit me up.

Speaker 1 That's literally somehow you can like set your setting.

Speaker 2 Recently divorced dads.

Speaker 1 Please hit me up. That's in your bio.
Okay, anyway, sorry. How did we get off the track?

Speaker 2 Oh, me meeting people in the wild. Okay, good.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry.

Speaker 2 So last we podcasted together, we were in Utah and it was right before Christmas and I was going to

Speaker 2 Seattle to meet my family for Christmas. We do the national park bit every year.
We were doing Olympic National Park.

Speaker 2 And since I was coming from Utah with you, I was already on the West Coast and it made sense for me to just like go right to Seattle. So I was beating my family to Seattle by an entire day.

Speaker 2 So I had 24 hours to spend solo in Seattle. So I get to Seattle and I'm like, pop off.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 can you tell Lauren's back on TikTok? Pop off.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you get to Seattle. I get to Seattle.

Speaker 2 And I go to a rooftop bar by myself. Love.
I have a little glass of Savi B.

Speaker 2 I have some oysters. Then I go to the spa.
I get a massage. Oh my god.
And then I go out to a sushi restaurant.

Speaker 1 I can I just say I love this for you. And I feel like the best, most fun moments can sometimes come from when you're doing shit alone.

Speaker 1 Obviously, be safe, but like I feel like no one takes themselves on dates anymore. And I just want to put that energy out there, Daddy Gang.
If you were like, what should I do this weekend?

Speaker 1 Because all my friends are gone or my boyfriend's gone or you're single, do this. Because then what happened?

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. Oh, God.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 1 okay. We're getting there.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I'm at the sushi restaurant, and

Speaker 2 I have a little bit of a buzz going in because I had like two cocktails before my massage, and they gave me free champagne at the massage.

Speaker 1 Wait, you were buzzed during a massage?

Speaker 2 Oh, highly recommend.

Speaker 1 Wait, I've never done that.

Speaker 2 Really? Highly recommend.

Speaker 1 I wonder, would you ever take an edible before a massage?

Speaker 2 All the time.

Speaker 1 Why am I going in just raw dogs? I don't know.

Speaker 2 I've literally never done that.

Speaker 2 Do it and get back to me.

Speaker 1 Okay, good to know.

Speaker 2 Okay. So I'm sitting at the bar of the sushi restaurant and i love the bartender it's a woman

Speaker 1 i'm already like so you

Speaker 2 know it's a woman we're just like vibing and like i'm alone and like i haven't i've been in seattle all day by myself and it's like 6 30 now so i haven't really had much human interaction so like i'm just like hitting it off talking

Speaker 2 to chat i'm just ready to chat so i'm chatting with the bartender and she's like really proud of her craft and she's making me all these different cocktails like these fancy ones so now i'm like three cocktails in, and I'm like feeling great.

Speaker 2 And it's like 7:30 on a Friday, and I'm closing my tab, and I'm like, okay, like, I had myself a nice day. Like, I'll go back to my hotel room and just like watch a show.

Speaker 2 Then this guy comes and sits down next to me at the bar, and he starts immediately striking up conversation. It's like, this is my first time coming here.
Like, what did you order? Did you like it?

Speaker 2 Immediately, I'm like, I'm not attracted to you, but I'm not,

Speaker 2 I can tell you're very cozy and non-threatening and safe and I'm enjoying the conversation with you.

Speaker 1 You're not thinking of it as a complete prospect, but potentially by more conversation, you may be like, huh.

Speaker 2 I'm just in the mood to chat and not necessarily in the mood to go home.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, and there's something about when you're in a different city and you're not like there's something.

Speaker 2 It was starting my Christmas vacation too.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, oh, like, let's go.

Speaker 1 Vacation.

Speaker 2 Yeah, vacation's starting. I mean, I was going to drink responsibly because I'm alone in a new city, but like, I'm like down to like have a good time.
meet someone new. Love.

Speaker 2 And so we start talking, and the talk, the conversation is so enjoyable that at this point, I had closed my tab and I reopened my tab to get another drink and like keep talking to him. Okay.

Speaker 2 And we're sitting at the bar talking for like 25 minutes. What minutes?

Speaker 1 What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 We were just like talking about like, I was saying I was going to Olympic National Park and this is what I had planned for my trip and like, okay, nice.

Speaker 2 What I have planned for the holidays and what he's up to. And like, we were just like chatting it up.
Love.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 so now at this point, it's probably like 7.30. Okay.
And he was like, well, like, you're alone tonight, right? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, me too.
And

Speaker 2 he was like, I actually was going to go to another bar after this. It's one of my favorite bars.
And there's a live show. Like, do you want to come? And I'm like, yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, in my mind, I'm like, oh, like live music, a live band, a singer, like love that. So now.
And I'm like, yeah, totally. Like, let's go.

Speaker 2 So we close our tabs and we're walking to the next bar and we get to the next bar. Okay.

Speaker 2 It's a drag show. And I'm like, oh, that's not entirely like what I was anticipating, but like, okay, like, I'm down.
Fun. Like, let's go to a drag show.
Yeah. So we're like watching the drag show.

Speaker 2 We're hanging out. We're laughing.
In my mind, I'm like, oh, he thinks this is a date. He's so into me.
Right.

Speaker 1 Like, he's like having fun and he's thinking he's like so.

Speaker 2 He's like, yeah, he's like, wow, like, what a great night for me. I thought I was going to have a solo night and now I'm on a date with this girl.
Love. So, like, we're watching the drag show.

Speaker 2 And then there's like an arcade in the bar too. So then we go play like some games together and we're talking.

Speaker 2 And then we go sit at a table in the back and we get another drink, and we're still just like chatting.

Speaker 1 Keep going. I have a feeling where this is going just from the sheer fact that you went to a drag show.
Keep going.

Speaker 2 Keep going. So we're talking, and we've been hanging out for like an hour and a half now at this second bar.

Speaker 2 And I look up and I look around at the bar. And I'm like,

Speaker 2 is this bar circus themed?

Speaker 2 And he's like, yeah.

Speaker 2 He's like, it's my favorite because it makes me feel like I'm at home. I'm like, what do you mean it makes you feel like you're at home?

Speaker 2 And he's like, well, the past six years I've been in the circus. I just got out of the circus.

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Speaker 2 I look around at the bar and I'm like,

Speaker 2 is this bar circus themed? And he's like, yeah.

Speaker 2 He's like, it's my favorite because it makes me feel like I'm at home. I'm like, what do you mean it makes you feel like you're at home?

Speaker 2 And he's like, well, the past six years I've been in the circus. I just got out of the circus.

Speaker 2 I'm like, oh, you were in the circus.

Speaker 1 Like, pop off.

Speaker 2 And I was like, he was telling me about like his roommate and him who just like moved out. And I'm like, by chance, was your roommate also in the the circus?

Speaker 2 And he's like, yeah, all of my friends here are from the circus.

Speaker 2 And then, like, I like really paused for a second and I like really take in my surroundings.

Speaker 1 Like, sober up a little bit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was a circus-themed bar. It was a gay bar, and he was a gay man.

Speaker 1 Lauren, sweetie. Lauren, Lauren.

Speaker 2 I don't think he thought he was on a date with me.

Speaker 1 No, he found a nice, young, straight woman who he thought loved the gays.

Speaker 1 who does love the gays.

Speaker 2 I'm at this point

Speaker 2 let it be known I'm an ally.

Speaker 1 Not only are you an ally, you are literally trying to turn gay men straight. You're like,

Speaker 1 are we in love? He's like, babe, this is my boyfriend over here. You're like, Jonathan, we, Lauren.

Speaker 2 I have something wrong with me. Like,

Speaker 2 my gaydar is broken. I can't tell a gay man from a straight man.

Speaker 1 I am sorry. I have no words.
I'm trying to like process.

Speaker 1 Like, again, you guys, this basically the last episode after she found out that that man was gay, she turned to the guy at the bar and she was like, He's so cute.

Speaker 1 We're like, babe, like, he's drinking a pink martini. Like, he's gay.
Like, Lauren is like, not that again, like, I get straight men can drink, but it's like, it was so obvious this man was gay.

Speaker 1 And Lauren was like, his muscles. And I'm like, babe, Lauren, you're going.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, Lauren. Yeah.
Okay, but at least

Speaker 1 once you realized he was gay, like, what did you do? I called it. You were.

Speaker 2 I was just like.

Speaker 1 I thought I was going to get a maybe little finger tonight.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I called it. And then I texted my friend who gave me the recommendation for the sushi place.
And I was like, wow, so funny how this night turned out.

Speaker 2 My friend who gave me the recommendation is a gay man. And he was like, oh, honey, I could have told you you weren't going to meet anyone.
I sent you to the gay neighborhood.

Speaker 1 Oh, my fucking God, Lauren. I know.

Speaker 1 Can I ask what he did in the circus?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 He was the control panel operator. So he coordinated the music, the pyro, and the lights operating in sync.
Huh. So at least he, like, it could have.

Speaker 1 He wasn't.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I mean, if you fling.

Speaker 1 That could have been cool.

Speaker 1 It could have been cool, too, if he was, like, the flamethrower.

Speaker 1 Like, he ate fire. Right.

Speaker 1 Moving on. Okay, so that.

Speaker 2 Okay, so then I thought on the way home from this trip that I was going to redeem myself. So I'm flying home from this vacation and I am.

Speaker 1 Are you going home and like masturbating? Or are you like so turned off that you're like, fuck, I really fucked that up?

Speaker 2 No, I went home and I was like, I need to like reevaluate some things.

Speaker 1 Okay, so. You try to redeem yourself.

Speaker 2 So I'm trying to redeem myself. So I'm flying home from my Christmas vacation.
I'm going back to Chicago and I'm in a fabulous mood.

Speaker 2 I'm feeling on top of the world because I just got upgraded to first class. I'm going to get on this plane.
I'm going to have two glasses of red wine. I have like three hours left in my book.

Speaker 2 I'm about to like sit down and like read like the final battle scene of my book.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, I'm going to have a great flight home. Love.
So I walk onto the flight and I see that in first class, I am seated next to the hottest man in the entire world.

Speaker 1 Here we go again.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 And he's,

Speaker 1 no, he was straight.

Speaker 2 He was straight. Okay.
I like definitely know he was straight.

Speaker 1 Okay. So the story is not ending and you fell in love with another guy.

Speaker 2 It's not another gay man. Okay.
And I don't want to be the girl who cries hot guy on the plane. Because I know we said last time that like the guy on the plane was the hottest.
This guy was

Speaker 1 10 times hotter. He was hotter than the guy on the plane.

Speaker 2 10 times hotter. He was even dressed better.
He had like a fear of God, like sweatshirt on, like a little like hat, like perfectly fitted jeans, like a little scrub.

Speaker 2 No, I'm like really sure this guy was struggling.

Speaker 1 Okay, no, no, no, I believe that. So he had like swag.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he is swag.

Speaker 1 Swag. He was like with it also.
Yeah. Okay.
So those are like name brands that are like not name brandy. Like you kind of have to know.

Speaker 2 No. I only know them because of you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 And so I sit down next to.

Speaker 1 Are you in the aisle or the.

Speaker 2 I'm the window. He's the aisle.

Speaker 1 Ooh, so you have to like climb over his big dick to go to the aisle.

Speaker 1 Can we also agree before you tell me the rest of the story that without a doubt, every single fucking time that you go to the airport moving forward.

Speaker 2 I have to stop looking like shit. You have to glam.
I have to get my shit together.

Speaker 1 Even if you're not full glam, like you need to start.

Speaker 2 Oh, did you see what I wore when I flew here yesterday? No. I arrived to your house yesterday.

Speaker 1 What were you wearing?

Speaker 2 I was wearing leggings, a sweater, and a little scarf.

Speaker 2 And I had earrings on. You had a scarf? I had a scarf on.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait. Okay, so you're going to start putting yourself together a little bit.
Because again, like we've said, and does everyone else agree?

Speaker 1 And comment down below if this is on fucking TikTok or wherever the fuck this is on Instagram. Let's all debate for two seconds.

Speaker 1 What is one of the hottest, most like meet cute places that you could meet someone? A plane.

Speaker 1 A plane. It's like the fate of you ending up sitting next to someone that you end up vibing with, and the fact that they're single.

Speaker 1 Like, usually, you just get like a fucking frumper that's fat that's like coughing and sneezing.

Speaker 2 I got a 10.

Speaker 1 Okay, but where else would be hot to meet someone?

Speaker 1 I feel feel like the plane is like the plane's like it. Or like a coffee shop, too basic.

Speaker 2 You know why the plane is good?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 2 other places, it could come across off-putting if someone just like stops talking to you. But like if you're seated next to someone on a plane,

Speaker 2 I'm not

Speaker 2 a freak. I'm not entirely off-put if someone tries to talk to me.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's fair. Okay, so sorry.

Speaker 2 Back on track. Okay, so I sit down next to him and

Speaker 2 I was ugly because I got to start looking better on planes. So, I'm like a little insecure.
I'm like, this guy is so hot. Like, how ugly?

Speaker 1 Like, are you like, you're like worst?

Speaker 2 A little better than the last time. I'm not hungover.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 So, I'm not puffy, but I just like don't have any makeup on, and like, my hair is greasy and in a bun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, and I think I'm wearing like a full sweatsuit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he can't even like see those hips.

Speaker 2 No, I was gonna have to wow him with my personality.

Speaker 1 But, you know, if he falls in love with that and you rip your shirt off, and he's like, look at these titties. You're like, that's not what I leave.
you. That's not my best.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's not my best asset.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 you know, when like someone's so hot, you're like a little uncomfortable? That's how I felt.

Speaker 2 So I popped in my AirPods and I was like, I just need to like be with myself a little bit and kind of strategize. Like, what in the world could I make conversation with this guy about?

Speaker 2 And I'm like, I need to, I have a four-hour flight. I'm going to like hit pause.
I'm going to have two glasses of wine.

Speaker 2 I'm going to read my book and I'm going to get a little liquid courage brewing inside of me. And then like, eventually I'm gonna find some way to make contact

Speaker 2 so I get lost in my book for a second and like I kind of forget he's there and like I get like a buzz on and all of a sudden like I realize like I have to pee so bad and

Speaker 2 I'm a bitch on planes when it comes to asking people to stand up to go to the bathroom. Absolutely.
I don't think I'm a bitch in other areas of my life. I don't really have boundary issues.

Speaker 2 I can ask for like what I want and need, but when it comes to asking people to stand up on a plane so I can pee, it's terrifying. Worst night.
It's terrifying.

Speaker 1 I'd rather get an infection than sometimes ask, especially.

Speaker 2 I'd rather pee my dribble a little bit.

Speaker 1 And especially depending on the person. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So I'm like, all of a sudden it like hits me. Like I'm in my book and it just like hits me.
I'm like, I have to pee so bad. And I look up at my man and he is knocked the fuck out.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's tough.

Speaker 2 Sleeping. But I'm like, It's just one person I have to ask to stand.
And like, I have two and a half hours left.

Speaker 1 Like, I gotta pee. Yeah, like, I can't do this.

Speaker 2 So, at first, I like lightly tap him and I'm like, excuse me,

Speaker 2 not budging. And then I go a little harder and I'm like, excuse me.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, excuse me. He gets a heart on.
I start budging him.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait. So you go harder.

Speaker 2 So I go a little harder and I'm like, excuse me, excuse me.

Speaker 2 I'm doing this for like a few minutes and like, I'm wanting to like crawl in my skin. skin.
I'm like, I'm dying. Of course.
The guy across the aisle sees me and he starts giving me encouragement.

Speaker 2 He's like, you got this, you got this, you got this. So I'm, I'm now like, okay, like

Speaker 2 he's, he's encouraging me. So I'm getting a little more like, like a little like,

Speaker 2 excuse me.

Speaker 2 And this guy is like still not waking up. So then the guy across the aisle reaches over and joins in.
So the guy across the aisle is leaning across the aisle on one shoulder.

Speaker 2 I'm on this guy's shoulder and we're both like, excuse me, excuse excuse me. And he's not waking up.

Speaker 1 This is horrifying, Lauren. Fucking put your leg over that man's dick and lunge over him.

Speaker 2 Then the flight attendant joins in because the flight attendant comes over and is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, like, what's going on here?

Speaker 2 What are you guys doing to this man? And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I couldn't get him to wake up.
And that guy saw him was struggling. So then that guy joined in.

Speaker 2 So the flight attendant, like you can tell this ain't her first rodeo, she two-hands him and jolts him awake.

Speaker 1 And he wakes up.

Speaker 2 I'm leaning over him on this side. The flight attendant's over the front of him.
And the guy across the aisle is leaning over him too. And he wakes up and he's like, What the actual fuck?

Speaker 2 You probably panic.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, we're going down.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I'm like, I'm so sorry.
I was trying to wake you up. Then they joined in.
And the flight attendant saw she thought we were trying to harass you. And she joined in.

Speaker 2 And like, now I'm so sorry that you're waking up like this. And it was like, he's like,

Speaker 1 can you imagine being on a plane and opening your eyes? And there's four human beings above you. I would be like,

Speaker 1 someone's in the cockpit. Like, someone's taking everyone down.
Yeah. Dude.

Speaker 2 But in my mind, I'm like, that actually couldn't have gone worse, right? But it's it's gonna be funny.

Speaker 2 So, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay, and like, we're gonna come back and laugh about this because, like, how absurd that like he woke up, that it took three people to wake him up, and that he woke up with three people.

Speaker 2 Like, you can bond over. Yeah, we now, now I have an in, yeah, now we have a bond, love.
So, I'm like, okay, like, go to the bathroom, like, pee, like, this is gonna be so funny when I come back.

Speaker 2 I come back, he is knocked the fuck out again.

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Speaker 2 I come back. He is knocked the fuck out again.

Speaker 1 Like, out

Speaker 1 cold. You're literally like, bro, bro.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 so i just crawl over him you crawled over i just crawled over and for the rest of the sleep he was sleeping like a sweet little angel baby and when you landed when he landed people normally wake up when you land you know like you like land you're like and like you're like awake he slept through the whole landing he didn't get out until like the actual last second so

Speaker 1 and he lives in chicago i don't know well or he's coming from

Speaker 1 i don't know see now would you ever have thought to yourself well i guess no because that's also reading the room.

Speaker 1 Because I was going to say, would you ever have thought it would have been appropriate if you just wrote your number on a little piece of paper, slipped it?

Speaker 1 No, then I feel like that woman literally, literally took advantage of it. It's touching me on my sleeve.

Speaker 1 But, okay, so it was kind of just one of those where you're like looking at this gorgeous man and you can't do anything.

Speaker 2 No, like, I think that would be non-consensual.

Speaker 1 Lauren.

Speaker 2 So I'm just not having good luck.

Speaker 1 Okay, but we have talked about it. Like a plane is really tough, but it does have opportunity.

Speaker 1 So I feel like what we know for next time that you're on a plane is number one, you're going to look cute. So you feel your best.

Speaker 1 Because let's say, you know, you saw this man and he looks like a 10 that you're sitting next to in his little fear of God fucking shirt, but you're feeling like a gremlin.

Speaker 1 You're feeling not your best. You're feeling like, wow, I haven't washed my hair in 10 days.
I was just with my family.

Speaker 2 I pinning up the mountain.

Speaker 1 I got pubes on every fucking crevice of my body. Like you're not going to feel like pop the pussy, even to lunge over his body.

Speaker 1 But had you been like a little seal, you're fucking shaved up, you got your like perfume on, you got your lip liner on,

Speaker 1 maybe you would back that.

Speaker 1 Maybe you would back that thing up right all over him just to get to the bathroom. And maybe he would have woken up and instead of seeing you be like, sir, he would have been like, God damn it.

Speaker 2 He probably like opened his eyes and was like, oh, what is that?

Speaker 1 And you're literally like this, oh, you're like,

Speaker 2 Lauren. I know.

Speaker 1 Okay, so, but what I think we also know is like, you're getting really good luck with like really good-looking men on planes recently. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, to be fair, because like you're usually flying to pretty like metropolitan places. So I feel like that's also the type of man that you want to be with.
Like we've talked about.

Speaker 2 I want like a go-getter. I want like a jet setter.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You want someone that's like in the know.
Yeah. So I feel like these are huge opportunities for you to meet men.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So I'm going to get my act together and I'll report back.

Speaker 1 I'm really proud of you though. I think that you are,

Speaker 1 you have the right mindset.

Speaker 2 we now just need to like wait what happened at your high school reunion so last i told the daddy gang was about my high school reunion yeah we've been potting a lot guys catching up thanksgiving episode i was talking about how i was about to go to my high school reunion you were gonna see your arch nemesis i was about to say i went off on my arch nemesis was she there okay okay okay

Speaker 2 So in that episode, I told a story about my high school boyfriend cheating on me at prom with my arch anemesis. Classic.
And that podcast episode aired three days before the high school reunion.

Speaker 2 So I had a little bit of anxiety going into my high school reunion. Like,

Speaker 2 is he going to be there? Is she going to be there? Did they hear me just like pop off on them? Do they think that like I'm still like obsessed?

Speaker 1 Obsessed, like in love. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And just like, what's the interaction going to be? So I did some intel. I knew, as I said in that episode, that my arch nemesis loves Snapchat.
So I got back in the old Snapchat.

Speaker 1 I love how you are saying that you know your arch nemesis loves snapchat again for context

Speaker 1 we are talking freshman and sophomore yeah like we're talking high school when this girl used snapchat that would be like saying you and i love snapchat that's like saying i love my space okay you are literally living in the olden age of something that you knew in high school this woman could have gone through 10 different lives since then but yes she loves snapchat

Speaker 2 uh yeah she did because i logged right back into my Snapchat and I checked her Snapchat story, which was active. And I confirmed she was not in the state of Pennsylvania.

Speaker 2 She was not going to be at the reunion. Boom, she's out.
Only contender left. My high school ex.
Is he going to be at the high school reunion?

Speaker 1 I'm actually really proud of you. And I feel like half of this is like the things that I've taught you because you're so not a stalker.
No. Like you're so not doing recon.
No.

Speaker 1 But you so are getting in there for this. Oh, I love this.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So I'm getting dressed and ready to go have my mom drop me off to meet my girlfriend.

Speaker 1 That's so humbling.

Speaker 2 Yeah. To have my mom go drop me off to meet my girlfriend so we could like pregame for the high school reunion.
And my mom's a ride or die. My mom's a homie.
She puts me on her back.

Speaker 1 She wants to be one with the girls. Yeah.
Like if she could have slept over with your friends, you know, she'd be there.

Speaker 2 She'd be up in there.

Speaker 1 If you invited her, she'd be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So my mom, I'm getting ready to walk out the door. My mom goes, Lair, Lair, Lair, we got movement.
And I'm like, what's going on, Katie? This is for context.

Speaker 1 Her mom has a southern accent.

Speaker 2 And I go over and she's like, Lair,

Speaker 2 bleep. That's my high school ex-boyfriend just watched my Instagram story.
Do you know what this means, Lair?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 It's so good, Lauren. He's so in love with you.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Okay, so first of all, this is like the one thing that you did tell me on break because we were like, save it for the podcast, save it for the podcast.
And then when you told me.

Speaker 1 I think I texted you and matt texted me and i said he watched my mom's instagram story okay he's trying to fuck tonight no not only is he trying to fuck tonight he literally thinks your soulmates and is obsessed with you i'm sorry and i'm sorry if he sees this but you can't fucking tell me we are 30 years old and your high school ex-boyfriend who you do not speak to you guys aren't like i haven't no i haven't i have not made contact with him in probably like nine years nine years is viewing your mother's instagram story and to top it off i was like mom, because she keeps tabs.

Speaker 2 She knows who's viewing every story.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, because she's got like 10 views. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm like, mom, is he a regular or is this a new view?

Speaker 1 And she's like, new view, Lair, new view. Can you imagine? Everybody close your eyes right now.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine you have not talked to your high school boyfriend in fucking 10 years and you are going to your high school reunion and your fucking mother alerts you that this motherfucking creeper is viewing her story?

Speaker 1 First of all, that is fucking insane.

Speaker 2 Second of all, I just close my eyes. I'm like, yes,

Speaker 1 second of all, all that's telling me is he's trying to see if you are in town and you're going to the high school fucking reunion because what the fuck else is he doing creeping around the corner in December?

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 Okay, so then now I get to the pre-game and me and the girls are like hyping it up. I'm like, oh my God, he's going to be there.
I'm going to see him for the first time in nine years.

Speaker 2 Like, do you think he's mad at me? Do you think he watched the podcast? Is he about to confront me? Like, if he confronts me, like, what do I say?

Speaker 2 Like, actually, do you think there's going to be like, just like this, like, fuck you, and then grab me and make out with me? Sexually.

Speaker 2 Like, we're just, we're running all the scenarios so fun so fun so we get to the high school reunion and we get there 30 minutes late because we're cool of course and then

Speaker 2 no and so now we're it's like an hour and a half into the high school reunion and me and my friends are kind of like keeping tabs on the door like is he here is he gonna walk in is he gonna walk in and also at that point also it's not like you're obsessed because obviously he's obsessed but like i'm like trying to clear your name before you like fuck yourself here but i do want to say it was just like a bit that we were all so funny.

Speaker 2 It was just like a bit that we were all like running in our heads. Like, what is going to happen? It's so fun.

Speaker 1 Cause what the fuck else are you waiting for? Like, oh, hi,

Speaker 1 Patricia. Like, how's your

Speaker 1 insurance? Like, insurance job. Like, no, you want to see your first, like, I just want to.
You want to see your fucking high school love? Yeah. Okay.
Come on.

Speaker 2 Okay. So an hour and a half, I'm like, I grab my friend and I'm like, let's just go ask the woman working the door, like, is his name on the guest list?

Speaker 2 Like, let's just go ask, is his name on the guest list? So we walk up.

Speaker 1 Because you had to RSVP.

Speaker 2 You had RSVP and like pay so that like you have like a wristband for the open bar. Oh my God.
Yeah, it's an open bar. So imagine we're

Speaker 2 wearing that here when I go this way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're probably like 19 drinks deep on an edible. Like, hello, ma'am.

Speaker 2 So we go up to the woman working the door who has the list and like who RSVP'd and paid.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, is his name on the list? And she's like, no.

Speaker 2 We and this girl make eye contact. And I know she's daddy gang.
And I know we're vibing on like a different frequency. So I'm like, again,

Speaker 1 open bark, keep in mind, Lauren thinks she's vibing with this door woman, and Lauren thinks this woman is daddy gang. This woman could be like so unaware and is like, what is wrong with this girl?

Speaker 1 She's a staring problem. But okay, yeah, she's daddy gang.
She's an ally. Yeah, she's

Speaker 2 she's an ally.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, she's an ally. Listen up.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Buckle up.

Speaker 2 Okay. So I look at her and I say, I need your help.

Speaker 2 I'm about to maybe have a faded run-in with my high school boyfriend. And like, I need to crank it up a little bit.

Speaker 1 Did you say a faded run-in? Fated.

Speaker 1 Like, fate. Like a faded.

Speaker 1 Is that a saying? Nope. I love it.
A faded run-in. I thought you like said faded.
Like, I'm faded on this fucking juice, girl. I've had a couple whiskeys.
I'm throwing it back.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So I'm like,

Speaker 2 I'm going to, are you down? I'm gonna give you his number You're gonna call him and say hey, this is Karen. I'm working the door at blah blah blah bar someone actually paid for your wristband.

Speaker 2 Are you one you gonna be here to pick it up?

Speaker 1 You think he's that dead broke that he'll come the only reason he's not coming is cuz the $15 wristband It was 50

Speaker 2 and like maybe he was just in the area out in Philly like didn't know if he wanted to stop by but like if the bartender or if the door woman is calling him to say, someone wants you here so bad that they paid for your wristband, just stop by for a free open bar, like, fuck it, let's go, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, fair. I would do.
I'd be like,

Speaker 2 um,

Speaker 2 he doesn't answer. She leaves a voicemail.

Speaker 1 And what does she say? Exactly what I told her to. I'm picturing you, like, seconds away from grabbing the phone, being like, it's me, baby.

Speaker 1 You're like holding yourself back all your fucking free will. It's like, don't grab the phone.
Don't grab the phone.

Speaker 2 Well, he didn't answer and it went to voicemail and I never heard from him or never saw him.

Speaker 1 So you're exposing yourself right now on call her daddy to millions of people that you are in fact the girl that had Karen from the bar call him and try to get him and lure him to the bar so you could see him.

Speaker 2 I wasn't trying to see him to hook up with him or anything like that. What were you looking for? A little rendezvous.
Just a little like...

Speaker 1 Fair, because at least he's not gay and we know that.

Speaker 2 A little like.

Speaker 1 That fucking sucks, though, that, like, I actually.

Speaker 2 So, since I've downloaded Instagram, I've requested him, and he won't accept my friend request. So, I think he saw the first episode.

Speaker 1 But also,

Speaker 1 we do not want him. No, I don't.
I don't. I don't want him.
I don't want him to be able to do that. What are we doing?

Speaker 2 No, you just want to. I just wanted to stir the pot a little bit.

Speaker 1 No, you want him.

Speaker 2 No, I don't want him.

Speaker 1 So then you can pull back and then you can be like, ew, I don't want you anymore. That's so high school.
But you want him to come to you so then you can fucking bounce. I don't know what I want.

Speaker 1 Who has she become?

Speaker 1 It is crazy.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know if anyone feels this babe, but no matter how far away you get from your hometown, it's the saying of like, you can take a bitch out of Philly, but you can't take the Philly out of a bitch or whatever the fuck the saying is.

Speaker 1 Okay. Oh, also, people got so mad at me when I was like, I will always be Philly.
They're like, you're from the fucking suburbs, cunt. I was like, okay, first of all, fuck off.

Speaker 1 It's not the same thing. No, you know what I'm saying.
We went to Philly every fucking day. Second of all, it's weird how no matter where you go in life,

Speaker 1 stirs up those emotions of when you're like an adolescent. Because remember, did I tell you that my- I think I was regressing.

Speaker 1 Yo, fake.

Speaker 1 No, did I tell you that my ex-boyfriend randomly texted me a picture of the Look at Me Now song by Chris Brown out of the blue and just texted that to me

Speaker 1 in November? Oh. And just like a picture of like, look at me now.
And I couldn't tell if he he was saying, like, look at you or look at me.

Speaker 2 Look at me exactly.

Speaker 1 Look at you.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't know what he's up to, but like, look at you kind of makes sense.

Speaker 1 I was thinking that, but it says, look at me. Like, I couldn't tell.
So I just didn't answer because I was like, I'm not sure.

Speaker 2 And you're also married. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It was just like a little bit. I'm not married.
You know, you're looking at me. I'm single.
You're looking to get fingered.

Speaker 2 I didn't know.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you had, like, you, wait, did you have any? I'm blowing up your spot. I forgot you told me.
What? You had a makeout, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Zoom, Rewind and zoom in on her face when she just said,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, who are you? I'm upset. You had a makeout.

Speaker 2 I had a makeout, but not with my high school boyfriend.

Speaker 1 No, with a different man. Okay, now that we are in our era of you are single, we do not want you to end up with a gay man.

Speaker 1 Although we are allies, we want to keep our gays and our girls, and then we want to keep the dicks that we want to suck and fuck over here for you to marry.

Speaker 1 I have a little game on my phone that I, if anyone is single, or even if you're fucking married or in a relationship, I don't give a shit. Just play with us because this is going to be fun.

Speaker 1 So, I have a game for Lauren, and basically, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want to know if you would swipe right or left. I don't know right or left,

Speaker 1 I don't know, is right good, left, bad. I don't know.

Speaker 2 So, just yes or no? Yes or no. Yes or no.

Speaker 1 Okay, ready? We're going to start easy. Okay.

Speaker 1 Hopefully.

Speaker 1 He has multiple mirror selfies on his profile. Multiple?

Speaker 2 Absolutely not. Like,

Speaker 2 maybe,

Speaker 2 maybe I could let one slide, but like, context matters.

Speaker 1 Okay, like, what context would you be okay? Can you imagine Matt taking mirror selfie?

Speaker 2 Like, mirror selfie? Like, if you're like stunting and posing, no.

Speaker 1 No. Okay, let's try to think of what is, what would be okay.
I feel like a man mirror selfie. This is like a music.

Speaker 2 Like, if you, maybe, if, like, you're wearing like a really funny costume for like a theme, something, you're just like snapping it, like, huh, funny costume. Yes.

Speaker 1 I was thinking the same thing, although a really random image came to my mind.

Speaker 1 He's outside at a cabin and there's a, there's a mirror like outdoor and he's like, like with his friends like drinking beer. Like, well, that may be too frappro.
No, it wait. Okay.
I know.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I take all of that back.

Speaker 2 I was thinking.

Speaker 1 Because imagine it has to feel like he was in a moment.

Speaker 2 Yeah, spur of the moment, quick, like, and then a boarding stadium.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but not in the bathroom. Not in the bathroom.
Not, it has to be like,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah like maybe he's walking by a mirror and someone snaps it of him but that's still frappro energy yeah no i think you're right the energy would be like if

Speaker 1 they're in a costume is that also frapp boy energy i it has again if he's like if okay once context around it context is really important if there's multiple absolutely not one mirror selfie and the context has to make sense we're struggling to find the context of the mirror selfie that would be a like but if you find it send it in uh-huh Everyone, comment down below, when is it acceptable for a man to take a mirror selfie?

Speaker 1 Because I'm struggling.

Speaker 2 I don't know when that's the right time.

Speaker 1 I'm struggling. Okay.

Speaker 1 His first photo is shirtless.

Speaker 2 Absolutely no. It's unacceptable.

Speaker 1 One shirtless photo? The only context that a shirtless photo would be.

Speaker 1 You're really far away.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't want to be able to see any lines.

Speaker 2 Like, you need to be far away where, like, you're just trying to show me more that, like, you go to beaches and, like, you go on vacations, but you're not trying to show me your body you're more trying to show me the scenery and you being shirtless is a byproduct of the scenery but you're not trying to get up in there and like i shouldn't be able to see any crevices because you'd be that far away from the camera and if we can see crevices that far away from the camera win obviously to know that like you have a nice body but i agree it should not be like your body's not the focus the scenery

Speaker 2 cool is if he was like on a hike with people and he just summited a mountain and he's so excited that he just summited a mountain so he rips his shirt off and he's like

Speaker 1 Yes, no. He has his shirt almost like around his neck.
Around his shoulders. His shoulders or his neck and he's so hot and he's sweating.
So he's taking a shirt off.

Speaker 1 And he's doing one of those like, when men do this, what does this thing? Do you know what when they do this to the, they're like pointing to the person next to them?

Speaker 1 Do you know what I'm talking about? Boys do that. Shut the fuck up.
But no, I think it's around their neck. Yeah.
Okay. All of his, no, all his prompts are knock-knock jokes.
No.

Speaker 1 Oh, I will talk about prompts, though. Okay.
Talk to me about prompts.

Speaker 2 Because you haven't been on the apps in a little bit. No.
So, like, prompts are

Speaker 2 prompts are huge on Hinge.

Speaker 2 Or like all the apps, I don't know.

Speaker 1 But Hinge specifically.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 2 am proud of my prompts.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Do you want to? Is that you being like asking me about

Speaker 1 my prompts?

Speaker 1 What's going on with your prompts, Lauren?

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And I love it until I don't have service. Okay.
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Speaker 1 what's going on with your prompts

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 2 So one of my prompts that gets the most traction

Speaker 2 is it's let's debate this topic. The top sheet is useless.

Speaker 1 I fucking remember when you were telling me about this, but then you started lingering too long on the fucking top sheet conversation.

Speaker 2 This is what I was going to say. Okay, so now when everyone slides in, they're all going for the top sheet combo.

Speaker 2 So now I have like 20 conversations going ham about whether or not you use a top sheet. Like I can like, oh, I feel so much further since I got rid of the top sheet.
Oh, I'm bold.

Speaker 2 I got rid of the top sheet.

Speaker 1 Like, right, like you now, you almost have prompts to go with once they start the conversation.

Speaker 2 I I can give you five top sheet jokes right off the top of the bottom.

Speaker 1 You can just kind of black out and then eventually you want to transition the conversation.

Speaker 2 But yes, because the danger is I can't go on a date with someone when all we've talked about is whether you have a top sheet or not on it.

Speaker 1 And when Lauren showed me one of her dating app conversations, I was like, babe, I'm scrolling and we're still on the fucking top sheet, which is where you really have to be careful.

Speaker 1 I think something that my advice for dating apps that I gave to you was, and I used to do this a lot, was,

Speaker 1 this is advice.

Speaker 1 I can be sarcastic like i think that was one of my like flirts like banter yeah banter and like i used to do that all the time the problem is if you don't get out of that zone somewhat in the beginning days of speaking before before the actual date before the actual date i find it very hard to transition your relationship out of the banter sage to being like sweet and romantic and like not shitting on each other yeah yeah because i remember um it was the canadian and it was this Canadian hockey player that I used to hook up with.

Speaker 1 And we were both Leos, which was just a fucking disaster in general.

Speaker 1 But I remember every single fucking time I was with him, we were constantly trying to one-up each other and we were constantly just bantering.

Speaker 1 And if you were at a dinner with us, like we would go to a lot of group things and people were like, you two are so fucking insane together. It's hilarious to watch.

Speaker 1 But I was also like, I also want you to like cuddle me.

Speaker 2 And then you end the date and you're like, wait, I know nothing about you.

Speaker 1 It's almost like a competition of if you can keep the banter going, and it gets exhausting. And I find that you almost regret that you never were just like normal, sweet conversations.

Speaker 1 And then you continue. So be careful, Daddy Gang, that you don't get stuck in the banter phase because, as fun as it is to find some that you're like, okay, this person can fucking banter.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Eventually, you're going to run out of like legroom to be like, it's now would be weird for us to have a romantic, loving moment because we're so joking with each other.

Speaker 1 Okay, good to know. Um, okay, next.
Your ex is in one of his pictures.

Speaker 2 I'm in a little bit of a destructive mode right now.

Speaker 1 What is going on with you?

Speaker 2 I don't know. So, like, I would probably just like

Speaker 2 go for it. No, no, I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 You were about to say some.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, say what you were going to say.

Speaker 2 No, no. Because, like,

Speaker 2 no.

Speaker 1 How long do you have to wait to fuck his friend?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think it has to be like a year and a half.

Speaker 2 That's murky territory.

Speaker 1 Seriously, that's murder.

Speaker 1 No, I feel like, because what if it's like, you know, love stories?

Speaker 1 Like, if you go to fuck a guy that your ex is friends with, again, if it's his best fucking friend, you're, that's just, that's mean. Cause it's also kind of weird in hindsight.

Speaker 1 Like, if his best friend would fuck you, then I don't like what that says about him and his morals.

Speaker 1 But if it was a guy in his friend group that he was always just kind of around, but you guys never hung out, but like, then you...

Speaker 2 I think you'd have to be like, am I doing this

Speaker 2 to like

Speaker 2 get closer to him? Have like a little bit like one leg into like a circle of his life. Am I doing this? Cause I hope he's going to hear about it.

Speaker 1 Ooh, yeah. Or is it like you move to a new city and you see a friend that was his friend?

Speaker 2 New city, that's safe.

Speaker 1 Or you also have to check with yourself, depending on the way that you broke up with your exes, like, are you also leaning into it for the familiarity that's just like comforting to you, or do you like actually like this guy to like this guy?

Speaker 1 Okay, so there's a lot of dynamics up right here. Interesting, daddy gang, right into us if this has happened to you.
Um, he's 6'11. Oh, yeah, baby.
What?

Speaker 2 6'11? How tall is that?

Speaker 1 Can we talk about that for a second? 6' Lauren, 6'11? Can you like give me an if you were doing 69?

Speaker 1 Your fucking your fucking face would be at his nipple.

Speaker 2 How tall do you, like, what do you think is a sex celebrity? Like, what is it?

Speaker 1 Lauren. I know Matt.
Matt is 6'3. Oh, no, no, I, I actually think 6'11.

Speaker 2 Are there 6'11 people?

Speaker 1 Lauren, have you ever watched the NBA?

Speaker 2 They're 6'11?

Speaker 1 Yes, and they're seven feet.

Speaker 2 Can you, wait, let me Google. How, let me Google average NBA Pellier height.

Speaker 1 Lauren, seven feet. Really? Not average, maybe, but I think Google it.
Okay. From what I understand, a lot of like the crew boys at BU were really tall.

Speaker 1 And I just remember, I've never hooked up with someone that tall, but I remember my friends always saying,

Speaker 1 oh my God, sex is so hard because also if you're riding on top and you're looking at him, you go to kiss him, it's like your head would fall down and you just hit like nipple.

Speaker 1 Like you can't even reach up to him. Like the proportions are off.
Tell me.

Speaker 2 The average height of an NBA player is six foot, six and a half inches. Is that true? That's what AI, that's why AI is called Matt.

Speaker 2 And how tall is Matt?

Speaker 1 6'3.

Speaker 1 Although it says he's shorter online and it really upsets him. Business can wait for two seconds.
What is the average height of an NBA player? Like, what's the average height?

Speaker 1 I mean, Google it, but I would probably say 6'5.

Speaker 1 6'4, 6'5.

Speaker 1 Really? But there are people that are 6'11.

Speaker 1 Yes, but then there's people who are 6'1. So, like, maybe 6'5 is 6'6 is probably the average.
But there are men that are 7-foot in the NBA. There's men that are 7'3.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Love you.
Love you.

Speaker 1 But listen, I'm telling you.

Speaker 2 You're going to see us next week, courtside.

Speaker 1 Lauren's like, I don't want him throwing me around. But do you understand what I'm saying? Logistic.
I love how we're saying it's too tall, but listen to me. Think about it.
You are riding a man.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I love what we're doing. Like science.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You

Speaker 1 are riding this man.

Speaker 2 We need him to be longer.

Speaker 1 This is him.

Speaker 1 You are riding this man.

Speaker 1 You're riding this man. Okay.
Here. Ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 1 You go to kiss him and his head is here. But think about that.
You can't reach him. So you can't make out when you're riding him.

Speaker 2 You're not going to be able to do that.

Speaker 1 Well, I guess it depends the intimacy level if you're just trying to fuck. But do you understand what I'm saying? You can't 69.

Speaker 1 You're so far away when you're sucking his dick that you can't can't really like make eye contact. He's so, he's like a mile away.
But like, I think there's definitely positives to date.

Speaker 1 Does anyone, is anyone in a relationship with a man that's seven foot? Let us know. 6'11.
And I don't want to discriminate. I'm just saying for you, I can tell with you.

Speaker 1 I think you want big, but I don't know if you want that big. But if it's love.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Next question. What the fuck was my question? Oh, 6'11.
It's a good question. It's a good question.
Oh,

Speaker 1 he's doing a baby voice in his voice prompt.

Speaker 2 Whenever there's a voice prompt on a dating app, I don't listen because I know I'll immediately get the ick.

Speaker 1 I think that it's the worst fucking thing that they did to that app.

Speaker 2 What does a man doing a baby voice even sound like?

Speaker 1 I don't know, but I know that men do it. And I actually think,

Speaker 1 ladies, I know it's probably like feels counterintuitive, but I actually genuinely believe. I remember when I was like, oh, you're a hinge.
And I was like, do not click on that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't click on their voice prompts because if they have one, they're probably trying to do something funny and they don't understand like it's going to give you the ick.

Speaker 1 And maybe he is like a good guy, but he's like, Maybe he's a stand-up comedian, but like, save it for the stage. He's vegan.

Speaker 2 That's like an like, that's not a deal breaker, but that's a big inconvenience.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, come on, like, I want to go have

Speaker 1 steak. Yeah, exactly.
Sushi. Um, okay.
Oh, his frat Greek letters are in his bio, and he's 30 years old.

Speaker 2 In the bio, get the fuck out of here. If you even bring up what fraternity you were in on our first date, also, like, get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 I agree. Um,

Speaker 1 he's hot, but his outfits are horrible.

Speaker 1 I think it's okay, like, there's room to grow. Yeah, but I also would have to, like, meet him in person because maybe he's like a some men are resistant to change.

Speaker 1 I couldn't have a guy that, like, actually, like, like

Speaker 1 looks like to the point where I'm like, we're going on a date night, and I'm just like never getting turned on. Yeah.
Okay, fair. I think that's it.
Yeah. I feel like we did it.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 So I think this is like a fun game, you guys, that Lauren and I are just trying to figure out like who is Lauren going to end up with? And we're

Speaker 2 in no rush.

Speaker 1 We're in no rush. And I feel like we're all very invested in this journey of yours.
And I think people are really enjoying it.

Speaker 1 Like the last couple of episodes that we've done, I feel like people are really enjoying the.

Speaker 1 conversation around you being single, getting out of a relationship at 30, like you shared with us. And like you're so young and you have so much opportunity.

Speaker 1 And I like that you're kind of like dipping in and doing dates when you're in the mood. And then you're kind of going on a little hiatus.
And I think that is a great,

Speaker 1 that's a great strategy. Like, don't force yourself, like, don't feel bad if you haven't gone on dates in a couple months, daddy gang.
Like, maybe you're just not ready.

Speaker 1 And you're probably, like, your body is probably telling you, like, maybe you need to focus on yourself a little bit more. Maybe you want to focus on work right now.

Speaker 1 Like, don't get mad at yourself if you go in flux of like going on a bunch of dates and then stopping. I think that's normal, right?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. That's

Speaker 2 next time we podcast. Oh, you know, I'm inviting myself back.
Yeah, come back.

Speaker 2 Always here.

Speaker 2 Next time we podcast,

Speaker 2 we can debate the fact that I do not agree with my therapist. Yes.

Speaker 2 My therapist told me that, because I don't want a relationship right now. And she was like, well, why are you going on dates if you don't want a relationship? So you out there ponder on that.

Speaker 1 Do you agree? that Lauren should not be dating if she doesn't want a relationship, or do you think it's completely fine that Lauren is going on dates, but she doesn't want a relationship?

Speaker 1 We will leave you with that, with that big, big, big question mark. And we are going to go have wine and watch football with Matt.
So, God bless.

Speaker 1 And thank you guys so much for listening to another lovely episode of Call Her Daddy. And you know the drill.
I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. Goodbye.

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