Days of Awe - with Rachel Goldberg-Polin

You are listening to an art media podcast.

There's a famous story where Yaakov is supposedly has a moment where he's wrestling with, we're not sure what.

It's either an angel, it's a man of God.

He says to this entity,

I will not let you go until you bless me.

And what that really reminds me of is my sweet friend, Sarit Zussman, whose son Ben Zussman was a friend of Hirsch's, a friend of Aner's.

Ben was killed in Gaza fighting to try to get our hostages back.

He was killed in December of 2023.

His mother at his funeral, Sarit said, our story will have a good ending.

And it reminds me of Jacob saying, I will not let you go until you bless me.

And I think that there is such power in that.

And we are at a moment in the Jewish story, in history, in Israel's story, in our own personal stories, that we are in a crisis moment.

The modern Hebrew word for crisis is mashber.

But the biblical word mashber means birthing pains.

Because when you are in that moment of crisis, where you feel that you cannot take it, that you're being broken.

Sometimes that's the labor pain.

And just ahead is the rebirth and the light.

And we must go toward that light.

We have no other option.

It's 11 a.m.

on Sunday, September 14th here in New York City.

It's 6 p.m.

on Sunday, September 14th in Israel as Israelis wind down their day and also begin a new week.

Over the past day, following warning leaflets dropped by the IDF, tens of thousands of Palestinians have evacuated Gaza City, bringing the total number of those who left Gaza City to approximately 280,000, according to IDF estimates.

More than 700,000 are believed to still remain in Gaza City.

Shortly after issuing the warning, the IDF bombed a high-rise tower in the area, continuing its recent pattern of leveling tall buildings in Gaza City, which the IDF says are used by Hamas for surveillance, as sniper posts, and to store weapons.

On Friday, President Donald Trump said that, quote, there could be a couple of dead in recent days from the 20 hostages thought to still be alive in Gaza.

Those final 20 or 10 are going to be tough to release, Trump said, asserting that there would not be any more partial hostage release deals.

On Saturday night, large crowds gathered in Tel Aviv and other cities across Israel calling on the government to reach a ceasefire agreement that would secure the release of the 48 remaining hostages in Gaza.

Families of the captives sharply criticized Prime Minister Netanyahu over Tuesday's strike aimed at Hamas leaders in Qatar, saying the move appears to have derailed negotiations for a deal.

Less than a week after Israel's attack in Doha, Secretary of State Marco Rubio arrived this morning in Israel for an official visit.

On the tarmac in Washington ahead of his flight, Rubio told reporters that the U.S., quote, is not happy about the Israeli strike in Qatar, but that the attack will not change Washington's allied status with Israel.

Rubio went on to say that on his visit to Israel, he would, quote, emphasize our shared goals, ensuring Hamas never rules over Gaza again and bringing all the hostages home, close quote.

And he also said, our commitment is to fight anti-Israel actions, including unilateral recognition of a Palestinian state that rewards Hamas terrorism and the law fair at the ICC and ICJ.

Close quote.

Soon after Rubio's arrival in Israel, Prime Minister Netanyahu and Secretary Rubio visited Jerusalem's western wall, the Kotel.

After praying together, Netanyahu and Rubio toured archaeological tunnels beneath the Kotel, with Netanyahu hailing the U.S.-Israel reliance as durable as the stones, that's a quote, of the holy site.

On Friday, the U.N.

General Assembly overwhelmingly endorsed a declaration outlining, quote, tangible, time-bound, and irreversible steps toward a two-state solution between Israel and the Palestinians without the involvement of Hamas.

Israel rejected the declaration, calling it a prize for the terror group.

As a response to the UN vote, Finance Minister Smotrich said that, quote, Israel must apply sovereignty to the West Bank as a preventative measure against the reckless attempt to establish a terror state in the heart of our land, close quote.

Now on to today's conversation.

The news is moving fast and it can be hard to stay grounded in the maelstrom of world events.

But as most of our listeners know, Rosh Hashanah begins a week from today on the evening of Monday, September 22nd.

To do some learning as we approach both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we welcome back Rachel Goldberg-Poland, who will teach and discuss these holidays and how to think about them and observe them in today's upside-down world.

Rachel helped us navigate this past Pesach and Shavuot, and we will do more learning with her in advance of these high holidays.

But before our conversation with Rachel, a word from our sponsor.

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The Technion really captures that spirit of non-stop innovation that sets Israel apart.

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You want to keep it safe.

You want to boost its economy.

Few investments will make a bigger impact on Israel's future like an investment in the great minds, discoveries, and inventions that come from the Technion.

To help support their critical work, follow the link to the American Technion Society in the show notes or visit ats.org forward slash callmeback.

And I'm pleased to welcome back to this podcast my friend, my pal, my thought partner, Rachel Goldberg-Poland, who just days ago asked me if I was a nerd.

In high school.

Why did you want to know if I was a nerd?

Because you answered something that I asked you with, I will revert.

And I thought the last time I heard someone use that was in high school, a beloved nerdy friend of mine.

Right.

So I just thought, perhaps you were a nerd in high school.

That is a normal way to speak.

I use that all the time.

And now I will never use it again.

You've made me totally self-conscious.

Why?

It's actually a very nice way of speaking.

Okay.

Okay.

There's too much baggage.

All right.

Let's jump into this as we enter the days of awe, which we are going to talk about.

We're going to talk about Rosh Hashanah.

We're going to talk about Yom Kippur.

But before we do, Rachel, as we talked about in our last conversation before Chuvuit, about in whose service we're doing this learning.

We are doing this entire session of learning together in the merit of our 48 cherished hostages returning home in the blink of an eye.

And so every single thing that you and I are going to learn together today will be in the merit of that.

And I'm hoping that people who listen and learn something from it will also be having that intention of that going into the world.

All right.

I'm glad we framed the conversation with that, which is the most important framing.

And now let's get into these holidays.

Most Jews, most non-Orthodox Jews, don't observe Jewish holidays, rituals, customs throughout the year in a traditional sense, except for this period we're about to enter.

Almost every Jew I know, Sarah Hurwitz was just on my podcast a few days ago.

You mentioned that you listened to it.

She talked about this, that she was once one of those Jews, you know, that just Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, something about these two holidays.

Every Jew locks in.

Why have these two holidays become the entire ballgame for so many of us?

First of all, I'd like to say that I too grew up in a home where we went to synagogue twice a year on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, and that's it.

And it was such a strange method when I think back on it, because it is sort of like someone who never goes to the gym, never works out, never does anything physical, deciding once a year to run the Boston Marathon.

And I think that if they were successful, if somehow someone was able to show up for the Boston Marathon and actually get through it and not quit halfway through, but actually drag themselves across the finish line, it creates a situation where that person definitely doesn't want to go running again anytime soon.

And that was what I always felt when my family would do that.

You know, we kind of felt like, okay, we've done that.

That was really arduous.

And now we're done.

And so it does beg the question, why were we doing it?

What is this holiday?

And I used to give my canned answer.

What is Rosh Hashanah?

And your answer is, It's the Jewish New Year.

Right.

That is also what I said.

But it's not.

Right.

And so what we have to find out is when is the first time that we actually hear about this holiday at all?

I'm very much Maria from the sound of music.

I like to start at the very beginning.

And for this holiday, the first time that we hear it mentioned in the Torah is in the third book of the Torah, Leviticus, which is Vikra in chapter 23.

And we hear this description that just says that God speaks to Moses and says to him, speak to the children of Israel and tell them that in the seventh month, on the first of that month, there's going to be a day of rest.

It'll be a day of remembrance and a day of shofar blowing.

This would be like, if we say Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year, it would be like saying to someone in June or July, Happy New Year.

Right.

It's saying on the first of the seventh month, on July 1st, is when you're going to celebrate this holiday.

And that's how we know right away, it is not the Jewish New Year.

It is something else.

We have a mystery.

So call Sherlock Holmes or call Agatha Christie, who are all very good at solving mysteries.

And we have to figure out: so, what is the Jewish New Year?

And now that's interesting, Dan, because you and I actually learned together seven months ago before Passover.

We learned the Passover story.

And if we go back to that Passover story, which is in the book of Exodus, which is the second book of the Torah, the book of Shemot, that is where we, right before leaving Egypt, God actually says to Moses and to his brother Aaron, this month is going to be the head of the months for you.

This is going to be the first of the months of your year.

Why?

Because that was the moment that we were becoming a people, a united entity.

We were beginning our relationship with God, and therefore, all of our holidays were going to be counted from that union.

So it's sort of like counting an anniversary.

And so if all of our holidays are counted from that moment that we became a free people,

then the seventh month is Tishrei.

So then we beg the question, so what is so special about this date?

Okay, what is Rosh Hashanah marking?

And this is when we say, thank God for the Talmud.

The Talmud is the oral oral law that was redacted, that was written down eventually in around the year 200 of the Common Era, thankfully, by Rabbi Judah the prince, who realized, you know, the community is fracturing because of exile.

People are moving.

Quick, we better write down this oral tradition that, according to our tradition, was given with the written Torah at Mount Sinai and was passed down orally, generation to generation.

So we look in the Talmud, and the Talmud actually tells us this date, the first of Tishrei, which is in about 10 or 12 more days on Rosh Hashanah, is the date upon which Adam and Eve were created.

And therefore, it is the birth date of humanity.

Okay, now remember, it's of humanity, which means this is a very universal holiday because Adam and Eve, we know, were the first people, but they were not the first Jews.

We know that Abraham was the first Jew and he doesn't even show up in the Torah for 20 more generations.

So this day, what is the nature of it?

Because it is the day that humans join the world, it is also the day that humans are assessed, that humans are judged, which means that explains one of the other nicknames of this holiday, which is Yom Hadin, the day of judgment, which sounds very scary.

It sounds nerve-wracking,

but I think of it this way.

When we lived in the Bay Area, when Hirsch was a baby, John worked worked for a company in the Bay Area that every year on the date upon which someone was hired, they would have an annual review.

On the anniversary of the day they were hired.

Yes.

So meaning if you were hired on

September 12th, so a year later.

Yeah, right.

Okay, got it.

So everybody's annual review was on a different day.

And I remember that before going in for his review every year, he worked there for several years.

He would kind of look over what he had done the past year.

He was assessing the different projects he worked on.

What was more successful?

What was less fruitful?

Where was there room for improvements?

He felt very strongly he didn't want to show up for his review unprepared.

And that is exactly where we are right this very second in the Jewish calendar.

We are supposed to be in an ideal world, all of us, all people.

Not just Jewish people, but all people.

We should be doing this inward searching and self-assessment to do authentic reflection and think to ourselves, what are the things this past year I'm proud of?

What are the things that I missed the mark?

What do I want to do differently going forward?

What am I doing with this gift of life that I have been given?

What am I doing with my time here that we all know, we all know is so fragile and so delicate.

and so fleeting.

We understand that this moment of the year is transformative and powerful, and yet we don't necessarily have the desired response.

And so something that's interesting is what is the antidote, according to tradition, to this.

Like when we show up in synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, which by the way, if we wanted it to be called the new year, we would not call it Rosh Hashanah, because Rosh, you know, means head.

Head.

It's the head of the year.

And the truth is, there is something very poignant about that this is the head of the the year, because if you think about it, your head has so much importance when you think of the whole body.

And so there is also this extra power in these two days that is outsized for the rest of the year.

And I think that is also why it's not called Shanach Hadashah.

It's called Rosh Hashanah.

So you talked about that this is the equivalent of John's, you know, one-year review.

Okay.

But in terms of the things that happen, if I asked most Jews what happens on Rosh Hashanah, they would likely say one or all of three things.

One is it's one of the two or three days a year I go to synagogue.

Two is apples and honey.

Three is the shofar.

Well, it's good that we even got the shofar into that because you remember that that is the central prescribed and really only feature that is unique.

Can you get into that a little bit?

Well, so the shofar is usually a ram's horn or it could be a sheep's horn, or a goat's horn, any kosher animal that has a hollow horn that you can use to make an instrument out of.

This is an instrument of our ancestors, it's an instrument of motivation.

There are three distinct sounds that the shofar makes.

You don't just randomly blow the shofar.

We have someone who's really trained in shofar blowing for any synagogue or temple that you go to.

And each of those shofar sounds is supposed to bring up in us, awaken in us something different.

And the first of the sounds is called the tikiyah, which is the one long shofar blast that sounds like a coronation blast.

Because truly what we are doing is we're saying there's something bigger than us out there, just to help us say, holy cow, it's not all about me and my life and my myopic way of living.

And then the second shofar sound is the shvarim shvarim sound, which is, it's three blasts.

And the truth is that that sound is the one that I always connect with.

And especially now, it's a sound of sobbing.

It's the sound of the soul crying out.

And the rombam is who I like, his interpretations of what are these sounds.

So I'm basing my...

Who's the rombam?

The rambam is Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon, the Maimonides, who was a medieval total Renaissance man, right?

Philosopher, rabbi, doctor, I mean, you name it.

And so he talks about, you know, this is a sobbing of the soul, saying,

I want to change.

I want to turn back to who I am at my soul, at my core, at my essence.

And he goes on to say that the final sound, which is the truah sound, that's the one that is.

And he says that is an alarm clock.

It sounds like an alarm clock for the soul.

And you'll see people in synagogue, people close their eyes.

some people are smiling, most people are crying.

It's a very moving sound that is reminiscent of where were you last time you heard these sounds.

Oh, wow, because it is the only time you hear it is during these 10 days.

Not like, oh, I heard a little bit of it during the year, but now it's like, no, the only other time I could have heard this was one year ago.

Well, except, so fun fact, starting on the first of Elul, at the end of regular prayer services, we add Psalm 27, which is talking a lot about King David's relationship with God.

It's one of the psalms that he wrote.

And before we say that psalm, we actually blow the shofar.

So the truth is for people who have been going to synagogue or who live in my house, because another secret is that John Poland is a good shofar blower.

And so he blows the shofar for me every morning during Elul

before I say Psalm 27.

And then we continue saying the Psalm 27 until the end of Simcha's Torah.

Okay, so what's Tikiyah Gedola, which is Takiyah, but a long one?

Like why?

Why a long version of Tikiyah?

I think it's trying to crack you open.

And that's always what I picture.

And it's also cracking open the heavens to say, please accept our turning around.

Because one of the central features and what we talk about in the prayers, in the liturgy of Rosh Hashanah and certainly on Yom Kippur, is this image of there's a book of life that's open, there's a book of death that's open, and there's the intermediary book that's open.

And we're all hoping to get written into the book of life.

And what are we going to do to really, you know, show me, don't tell me.

Like this idea of God and our tradition is saying, don't tell me, show me.

And so how do we show that we mean it?

We do actual real repentance.

We'll talk about what that means.

In Hebrew, it's tshuvah.

We We also say that prayers help.

And we also say that giving tzedakah helps.

Again, that word is a confusing word.

Because people think it's charity, but it's not, the word is not charity.

It's rooted in the word justice.

I mean, you're not just altruistic and charitable.

It's an obligation.

Correct.

It's saying, you know, the scales are imbalanced.

That is not right.

I need to recalibrate them.

You have less.

I have more.

So I need to give you some.

That's me doing righteousness.

It's not me being a great person.

It's just me doing what's right and what's just.

And so one of the very difficult things is this tshuva, this actual what we call repentance.

What has happened?

And just to stay, hold on, Rich, on the repentance, because what we're doing now, which is intentional, I want our listeners to understand it's intentional.

We're blurring these two holidays because I think many people think on Rosh Hashanah, I go around and dip apples and honey and wish everyone a happy new year and then like sort of cut, fade, you know, that's done, Rosh Hashanah.

And now we go to to Yom Kippur, and that's where we go around asking everyone for forgiveness.

And I think what you're getting at here is there's a blur here, and there's a theme in that blurring between these two chagim, between these two holidays, and Chuvah's is part of that.

Well, and also, I think you're absolutely right.

I think because of the misunderstanding that a lot of us have, thinking, oh, it's New Year's.

So it's like confetti and Times Square and everybody's happy and apples and honey and honey cake and pink lemonade.

But what really set the mood for me, a few years ago, I got a new prayer book for Rosh Hashanah.

And on the very first page, you open it up and it says, Yom Hadin, Judgment Day.

And all of a sudden, I was like, whoa.

Buzzkill.

Yeah, I was very nervous.

But it also really sets the tone because it's a serious day.

And really, if you take the analogy that I was saying before, on the one hand, it's John going in for his annual review and then the boss taking everything that he says that John said to him and everything that they sort of discussed and saying to John, okay, let me go think about it.

And leaving the room and saying, you know, I'll get back to you in 10 days and I'll tell you, are you being promoted?

Are you staying where you are?

Are we getting rid of you?

Or think of it as a judge saying, okay, I've heard all of these arguments, all of these points, and now I'm going to go deliberate.

And the judge is out for 10 days.

And it is scary.

And if you want to prove that you're serious about whatever it is that you presented on Judgment Day, then you use those intermediary days to show.

And, you know, I talk a lot about this.

Don't just say it.

Don't just think it.

Don't just believe it.

Do it.

Show it.

And so this is why people give tzadaka.

There's extra different prayers during the 10 days of, it's called in Hebrew, Aserat Yeme Tsuvah, the 10 days of tshuvah, of turning.

The actual literal meaning of tsuvah is turning, but you know, we say it means repentance.

It's actually going and doing repentance.

I just want to like underline something that I think you're getting at and that you and I have been talking about over the last few days, that it's not just about asking for forgiveness.

You know, we all go around saying to loved ones, friends, if I've done anything to hurt you, I ask for your forgiveness.

And then the person dutifully says, yes, of course.

And then that's it.

And it's handshake or hug and then off to chew.

And what you have been trying to impress upon me is it's a process.

It's not that simple, Dan.

You don't just get to ask.

And, you know, if you ask, you get it.

And then onward, there's a process to legitimize chuvah repentance.

Right.

There are a lot of things in our lives where we go through the motions, but we know on the inside what we're thinking, what we're feeling, and what we're doing.

So what are the steps to doing this real sort of making amends?

How do we do this?

And the first step is that we have to feel regret.

If you don't feel bad about what you did, then you can't start this process.

So the first thing is we realize the extent of the damage and feel the sincere remorse about whatever the action is.

And then the second thing we do is we have to stop that action.

Now that's already asking a lot because a lot of us know, and I mean, I'm certainly, I think we're all people who have done this where we say, oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

And we then keep doing the behavior, whatever it is, right?

Let's take it to an extreme.

Like if there's someone in an abusive relationship and the abuser keeps apologizing and then keeps doing the action, that is not tshuva.

You have to regret it.

You have to stop it.

You have to own it by saying it out loud.

We have to put it into words and say, I cannot be doing this anymore.

And then we have to make the resolution and create the parameters to make sure that we don't repeat it again.

We have to put up actual, actual guardrails or spiritual guardrails or emotional guardrails so that we don't fall back into these behaviors again and again and repeat them.

But the steps go farther because Yom Kippur, which is only a useful tool for issues we have between us and our idea of God.

does not help us.

If I have hurt your feelings, if I did something to you, Dan, specifically, if I do something to you, I cannot ask God to forgive me for something I've done to you.

It doesn't work that way.

I have to go to the person and I have to be specific.

And it is

hard.

It is very uncomfortable.

It's very embarrassing and it's very transformative.

Why is it transformative?

The way you're describing it, it sounds miserable.

I mean, think about any time in your life where I'm sure all of us have times where we missed the mark and we went to fix it.

And it's embarrassing and it's hard.

And yet afterwards, it is transformative because owning when you make a mistake, really owning it and sincerely apologizing is you're in a different place.

You're a different person afterwards.

Okay, let's take a break for a word from our sponsor.

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When Saul Singer and I wrote Startup Nation, that was the kind of spirit we were writing about.

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You want to keep it safe.

You want to boost its economy.

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To help support their critical work, follow the link to the the American Technion Society in the show notes or visit ats.org forward slash callmeback.

Okay, Rachel, what you're describing only works if you really have a plan to fix it.

Like, I know many people who, you know, treat other people poorly and then they say, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

And they mean it, by the way.

They mean it.

They really feel badly.

But what they're really saying is, please let me off the hook.

That's what they're saying.

If it's not paired with, and I have a plan to not do this to you again.

Well, and that's why the fourth step is: how do you put up those guardrails so that you're not in that situation to do that again?

And it takes a lot of work.

And you know, sometimes I will tell you that sometimes the plan can be, I'm working on it.

And so from 3 to 4 p.m., I'm going to be extra vigilant and not do it.

And that sounds bananas, but it is a start and it is genuine.

You know, I remember I had a friend who he felt bad that he didn't spend enough time with his kids.

And he really did feel bad about it.

And so he started with committing to a half an hour at night reading to his kids, right?

You have to start somewhere.

I think that if we bite off this huge idea of, I'm just going to be better.

Better is sweet.

Better is not a plan.

Okay.

I want to get into the idea of words, using words to express the regret and maybe even words to express the plan.

Well, what's amazing about words, especially in Hebrew, we feel there's extreme power to words.

And in fact, you know, biblically, in Hebrew, the word divarim means two things.

It means words and it also means things.

Because actually, words are things.

Yeah, they're concrete.

They're real things.

And that's why they can be very destructive or constructive.

I actually just heard this beautiful statement by Rabbi Dr.

Tal Cecil,

who said, words are redemptive.

And I thought it was just magnificent.

Words are the beginning of healing.

When something is out there, when you say it.

I go through my day talking out loud a lot now.

I think after losing Hirsch, there's a lot of dialogue, either with him, with the universe, with myself, but I'm speaking out loud.

And when I'm feeling extra angst and I call out,

it is a thing that is out there and it is different.

And so I do think that when we have this sort of acknowledgement of speaking it, and that it's a weird idea to us moderns that we would go somewhere and say, here's what I want to work on.

And kind of you're having this conversation, but it's not in your mind.

You're having a conversation with yourself.

And there is something in our tradition that gives us permission to own that power.

So the words matter.

They are concrete things.

And then this dialogue happens between you and the person from whom you're seeking forgiveness, between you and God, between you and who.

It could also be between you and you, right?

I also think that there is something to trying to do tshuva with ourselves, with really saying, am I who I want to be?

Am I doing what I want to do?

Am I being genuine to the essence of my soul?

Who am I?

These are all huge existential questions that this is the time of year where it is ripe to be having them, ripe and right.

to be having them.

And I also think, you know, it shouldn't just be now.

That's the mistake we make is that we should be having a mini Rosh Hashanah, Asara Yamet Shuva, and Yom Kippur every day.

We literally should wake up and start our day and say, what did I do yesterday that I'm proud of?

Where did I miss the mark?

Did I hurt anyone?

Was I mean to my friend?

Right, because we treat Yom Kippur as like this big watershed moment where we can just pile up all the regrets and clean the slate in one.

in one day of the year.

And what you're saying is, no, we should do this every day, a version of this every day.

Well, and someone said famously, and I wish I remembered because I like to quote the teachers who I've learned from, but there is a saying that you shouldn't be so obsessed with what are you doing between Russia Shana and Yom Kippur.

You should be obsessed with what you're doing between Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah.

Wow.

It's saying you can't be mean to someone in February and say, I'll deal with it Era of Russia Shana, you know, the night before Rosh Hashanah or the night before Yom Kippur.

No, we should be aiming that every day should be filled with awe because who knows when we're checking out of this place.

So, my friend Daniel Bonner sent me this note leading up to this chagim saying that we should, famous text from the Mishnah,

repent one day before you die.

And he quotes here, we learn there's a Mishnah that Rabbi Eliezer says, repent one day before your death.

Rabbi Eleazar's, I'm quoting here, students asked him, but does a person know the day on which he will die?

He said to them, all the more so.

This is a good piece of advice, and one should repent today, lest he die tomorrow.

And by following this advice, one will spend his entire life in a day of repentance.

This is from the Talmud that my friend sent me.

So it's the idea that you don't, the point is you don't know when you're going to die.

But if you live your life thinking, tomorrow I could die, so I better take care of my repentance.

That's like good repentance maintenance.

It actually makes me think a lot about my grandpa who was obsessed with saying goodbye in a proper way to everyone because he had a very traumatic experience when he was 22 years old that he said goodbye to his father and his father was in a robbery.

Like his father was working and robbers came into the grocery store and they shot his father and killed him.

And my grandpa always was obsessed with his children that he would always kiss them goodbye as if like it was, you know, his kids would say, dad, we're just, we're going out for two hours to play baseball.

We'll be back.

But it was very traumatic for him.

And my father ended up being like that.

And I actually am happy that we are like that.

You know, we've talked about how on October 6th, on Friday night before Hirsch left with Anair Shapira to go down to the Nova festival, that both John and I blessed him, you know, before Shabbat dinner, and that he kissed us goodbye.

He spoke to us before he left.

That is a tremendous sense of comfort for me.

And the truth is, we all should have those opportunities.

Now, obviously, I had no idea that that would be my last goodbye, but I have tremendous comfort that I had a last goodbye.

And I do think that Rabbi Eliezer was this really wise,

what a wise and poignant, profound way of living your life.

And it's not morose and it's not negative.

It's actually positive.

If you know this is your last time to do this podcast, this podcast is going to be crazy great, right?

Or if this is the last time you're going to see that friend of yours, you're going to really tell them, I love you.

Yeah.

So there's power to that.

And then we move on to, you know, the day of atonement, which is this weird word, atonement.

And even when I was a little kid, I thought, there's serious stuff happening here.

We're not eating.

What's going on?

So, okay.

So first of all, again, you know, I'm very formulaic.

Where did we first hear about this day?

And we hear about it in the book of Leviticus in chapter 16.

And it really sounds kind of groovy because it says, this is going to be a day where God affects atonement upon you.

You will be cleansed of all your wrongdoings.

Okay, sign me up.

I mean, I would love to be cleansed of all my wrongdoings.

It's like that day at the library, Amnesty Day, when you could bring your books that have been checked out for 12 years and everything's fine.

Nobody minds.

You start over.

I would like to say that I never did that because I was a librarian in college.

I'm not an overdue kind of gal.

But the question is, why this date of the 10th of the seventh month?

And it's kind of crazy.

So I think you should fasten your seatbelt.

All right.

Fasten up.

We're going on a tangent.

We're going on a lion hunt.

Bring it.

So remember, how did we get here?

So we have the very beginning of the Torah, let there be light.

And Adam and Eve are created and they have the unfortunate fruit incident.

We have Noah and the Ark and the flood and Ark Media and the rainbow.

And we have Abraham, who is the first Jew, who begets Isaac, who begets Jacob, who begets 12 sons, including Joseph with the pretty coat.

One thing leads to another.

They all end up in Egypt, enslaved.

Moses comes in as God's wingman, takes everybody out and says, everyone, we're going to be a nation.

We're going to be united.

We're going to be free.

And they go out into the desert.

And he says, we're stopping here at Mount Sinai to pick up the blueprint for life because we're saying that this is we're free but that doesn't mean it's a free for all there's going to be structure to our lives and he says i'm going up on the mountain for 40 days i will be back with this protocol of how we're going to live life.

He goes up on the mountain.

The people don't count correctly because nobody had a phone and nobody had a calendar.

No one had a phyla fax.

Remember those?

You're too young.

No, I remember the phylafax.

What they do, they have a freak out on day what they think is 41.

They think they've been abandoned by Moses and by God.

They create an idol, which is in the shape of a calf.

It's a golden calf.

And Moses comes back down with the tablets.

Most people have seen the Cecil B.

DeMille movie.

You can picture Charlton Heston.

And he's livid.

He's furious.

He can't believe that these people have done this.

It's a total betrayal.

And he shatters the tablets.

And if you put it in context, I mean, really what this is like is if you have a wonderful partner who you've met, who you kind of rescued from a bad, abusive, enslaved relationship.

And that person says to you, I'm going to work.

I'll be home at seven.

And the person comes home at 7.01.

And you have thought, or the person who was left behind, who said, oh my gosh, it's 7 o'clock.

Where is that person?

And they go and they sleep with the neighbor.

It's like this complete betrayal.

What in the world?

And then the people snap out of it and they feel horrible and embarrassed.

And Moses is furious with them and there's a whole punishment and everything.

But Moses goes back up for 40 more days.

He goes up on the first of Elul.

The people during that entire time do true tshuvah.

They fast.

They pray.

We know they fast.

We know that.

We know they fast.

We know they pray.

We know they're doing true tshuvah.

They're doing clear indications of sincere guilt, sincere remorse.

They were so embarrassed and they wanted to reclaim their spirituality.

God sees this as sincere according to the Torah in our tradition.

Moses returns 40 days later, and 40 days from the first of Elul is the 10th of Tishrei.

And God says in the Torah, this day forever, the slate is going to be wiped clean for your children.

So this date, this holiday of Yom Kippur is actually something that we merited through the true tshuvah of our ancestors.

We get this gift that every year on that date when Moses came down with the second set of tablets, that we get that date as a date that we also get to wipe clean our wrongdoings if we've gone through that process.

But if there is a devious calculation, it doesn't work for you.

And the worst part about this whole tshuva process, it's the best and the worst, is that you know, you know.

Meaning you can go to a friend and say, I feel really bad and I'm sorry about this and that.

And you cry, they cry.

And you know you don't mean it.

They don't.

They think you mean it And they truly are forgiving you.

You know.

And that's what's so fascinating and clever about this system.

It's so hardcore.

There's this authenticity test that if you go in a room by yourself, you know,

did you really do it?

Did you really do it?

Only you can answer that.

There's no rabbi.

There's no minister.

There's no one who could tell you if you authentically, genuinely, truly did Tsuvah except you.

You know.

Okay.

This holiday, and I think this is more a feature in the diaspora communities than in Israel, but it is for many Jews and for many rabbis,

the sermon they deliver on Rosh Hashanah and on Yom Kippur and specifically on Kolnijre, the first

evening service.

That sermon is like the State of the Union address for many rabbis.

It's when they have their biggest audience and there's always speculation about what's the rabbi going to focus in this sermon.

You can imagine now, Rachel, in the diaspora, there's just endless conversation and debate about Israel.

And then there's obviously our politics and our national politics and this god-awful sense that things are spiraling out of control over here.

I mean, it's just this endless sense that I don't need to tell you that things are, it just feels like things are spiraling and people want the rabbi to come.

This is the moment.

Wisdom, vision, processing of the moment.

It's an insanely unrealistic

expectation we thrust upon these rabbis.

So instead, I'm going to thrust it upon you.

What would you advise rabbis writing their sermons to think about as they're writing their sermons?

What's your message?

Well, I'll say a few things.

First of all, Going to shul, going to synagogue, going to temple, it's confusing and it's hard.

But I would like to say that sometimes just just showing up and being together, especially during these challenging times, just sitting together can be helpful.

Even if you go for an hour, nobody's saying you have to go for the whole kit and caboodle.

You know, Hirsch used to bring a book with him in addition to his prayer book.

He would bring a book because he wanted to sit with John, not to be alone, but it was hard.

It's long service.

And so I would say that during this time of real existential kind of crisis of our souls, that we should consider the possibility that being together in a temple might be a place where you could go for half an hour just to feel that you're sitting with other people who are having crises.

And when I think of crises, there's a famous story in Genesis chapter 32 where Yaakov is supposedly, he's going through a real crisis period, and he supposedly has a moment where he's wrestling.

And it's not just a moment, it's a whole night.

of him wrestling with, we're not sure what.

It's either an angel, it's a man of God.

There are people, uh, mystics in the Zohar, and your best friend Ramba both say that it's him wrestling with himself.

And I think that's what all of us are doing in many different levels.

We are each wrestling with ourselves as Jews, we are each as a community wrestling with ourselves, whereas a people we're wrestling with ourselves.

And what is, I think, so beautiful about that story is that at the end, he's exhausted.

Jacob is exhausted, and three things happen.

happen.

The first thing is he is forever injured.

He ends up limping for the rest of his life because this crisis is so internal.

Second, his name changes.

This is when Jacob gets a new name and it goes from Jacob to the name Israel.

Also, profoundly, he says to this entity, I don't know if it was a man of God, if it was an angel, or if it's him saying to himself, he says, I will not let you go until you bless me.

And what that really reminds me of is my sweet friend, Sarit Zussman, whose son Ben Zussman was a friend of Hirsch's, a friend of Aner's.

The three of them were in the same class in high school together for all of high school.

Ben was killed in Gaza fighting to try to get our hostages back.

He was killed in December of 2023.

His mother at his funeral, Sarit, said this beautiful thing that resonates so deeply with me, especially now.

She said,

our story will have a good ending.

And it reminds me of Jacob saying, I will not let you go until something good comes from this wrestling.

I will not let you go until you bless me.

And I think that there is such power in that.

And we are at a moment, it's very clear, we are at a moment in the Jewish story, in history, in Israel's story, in our own personal stories, that we are in a crisis moment.

But what do we do with this crisis?

The hebrew word the modern hebrew word for crisis rabbi sacks talks about this is mashber

but the biblical word mashber the biblical word in the torah of mashber means birthing pains wow okay because when you are in that moment of crisis bodily crisis where you feel really that you cannot take it, that you're being broken, sometimes that's the labor pain.

And just ahead is the rebirth and the light.

And we must go toward that light.

We have no other option.

And I would just say to everybody, all of us, we all together are feeling that.

There's no, I hope people don't feel alone in this crisis, in this moment of mashbear, because we're all in this together.

And the last thing that I would say is that there's a famous story at the end of the Six-Day War that there was a soldier who was part of the people who were at the kotel, who were at the Western Wall, at the Wailing Wall.

Liberating and unifying Jerusalem.

Correct.

And all these soldiers were crying.

And there's a famous story that I think that it was Yitzchak Rabin who told the story.

And I'm sorry if I'm misquoting that it wasn't him, that there was a soldier named David who was standing to the side crying.

So someone went over to him and said, why are you...

Why are you over here?

Like, why are you crying?

I'm crying because I don't understand why I should be crying.

He knew there was something monumental happening and he didn't understand what it was, but he still felt part and it was emotional.

There's something about that, that we can all be together in this moment, even if we don't all understand what is going on.

It's so confusing, and there's different worldviews, and there's different attitudes, and there's different philosophies, but we can all be together in the moment.

And I think that also that distance that some people feel from this idea of prayer, because prayer is such a confusing medium.

But fundamentally, what prayer is, is it is simply putting out there thoughts into the universe in words.

And those words, as I was saying before, can be help,

please, love.

And we are in a transformative moment.

And I really, I'm praying for us so much that this is a transformative and meaningful Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, That we merit, please, dear God, the return of our beloved hostages, and that every single one of us who's there, who's fighting for this to happen, that everyone comes home safely and in peace, and that we are all inscribed in the book of hope, the book of life, the book of miracles, and the book of freedom.

And that we should have a Shana Shaltikva.

Thank you, Rachel.

Thank you, Dan.

That's our show for today.

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