CSB332: Your Gooner Mind Palace Has No 5 Star Replays

Yo-Yo.

Oh, I still can't see you.

I thought you were going to, I thought when we came in, you were going to switch to it, but I can't see you at all.

I just see the OBS symbol.

Oh.

Whoa.

There you go.

Oh, now I can see your hey, buddy.

Hello.

It's just weird to talk to a disembodied voice that I'm so used to.

There you go.

How you doing?

All right.

Not too bad.

Not too bad.

How's it going?

My stupid dumbass shoulder

is fine now.

Okay, cool.

I took my Tylenol and

I took my Advils.

Quick recovery.

I'm all better now.

Nice.

Okay.

Last week,

last week, I mentioned that I had hurt my shoulder.

And you're like,

how are you?

Sorry, you said, how are you the guy coming in here with like bruises and injuries?

No, I know, because you had recently been in a fight.

Yeah, I have been in a fight.

Yes.

And then I went and I took a look at that fight.

Yeah.

And I was like, oh my God, how did you make it out of that without grievous injury?

Yeah, no, that was, oh, that was crazy.

Yeah, that was a real fight.

So over on Versus Wolves, I fought John.

And,

you know, that was boxing.

There's a little bit of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in there.

And then just fucking

Hangman's Field, final

field punch violent go.

So I have a couple of questions.

Yeah.

Because that was a long episode, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I just want to skim this to get to the fighty bits.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That first round,

why were you guys just punching each other in the dick for 10 minutes?

Uh,

in the gym.

What the fuck is that?

What is why?

Were you in the gym?

I thought it was going to be like, well, we're internet people, so not the face.

In the gym.

And then later, the face.

So that wasn't the reason.

Yeah.

Okay, so in the gym.

Yeah, in the gym.

In the gym.

You were just like all tummy.

Right, so that is called body sparring.

And

what body sparring is, is basically when people are amateur and generally beginning at sparring and you haven't done it much, you do body sparring as a way of like, yeah, you avoid going wild swinging for the head.

A lot of people that are kind of nuts will just go too hard and potentially do serious injury to people.

Or if you show up and you don't have mouth guards or protection or whatever.

And body sparring is just to kind of get the fundamentals of moving around.

And, you know, you can take more to the body overall than you can like to the head.

I can take way more to the body.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Then like way more.

I got it, like, when I was younger, maybe not, but now I got all this nice, this nice, you know, help, right?

And here's the thing: if you're going in there with people that are just, you don't know who you're dealing with if you're all beginners.

And if someone just is like, ah, and just goes full swing hard at your head, and you're both beginners, someone can get seriously hurt really badly.

So I hold up my hand for a follow-up question.

Yes.

But isn't that cool as fuck?

Yes, it is cool if you agree.

If you agree.

Cool as shit to do.

If you agree to take on this potential risk, then yeah, it's rat as hell and you might get fucking get your bell rung, you know.

However, the

legal responsibilities of a trained coach who coached Lou, we were over at UD Performance, he is going to be like, I cannot, he cannot legally allow us to get in the ring without him sitting there, right?

Okay.

He is, there is, there are responsibilities that he's like, you know, like gonna take for people that are beginners.

And, you know, if you want, if you want to go in with like some headgear afterwards, which you know, there was one round of that with John versus Command Grab James, you can take that, you can do that or so.

But for the most part, beginners are supposed to body spar.

That's what that was.

And okay, but I thought you were like not a beginner.

Well, no, when it comes to sparring, I'm absolutely a beginner.

That's the thing.

Okay.

Right?

So

confusing,

but

basically

the

yeah, go ahead, guys.

I have a question I've never asked you in my entire life.

Yep.

You're a big, tall guy.

And I have never seen you like aggro up in anger in any context ever.

Okay.

Like just get unreasonable and like, I'm going to be big and scary.

When you were like growing up,

how many like physical scraps did you get into on average a year?

I got into many fights with, I mean, well, there's brothers and cousins, which is just like whatever.

But real, real fights at school type things.

Aggressive, violent, like attack fisticuffs.

Yeah, got into fights at school for sure.

Not,

I'd say towards the like middle to end of high school, there were like a pronounced

four

that that like that stand out, um, but it wasn't, it was, it was definitely, you know, there was a lot, a lot of random dumb kid shit overall.

And then, like, yeah, I'd say between, do, between like grades nine and 11, there were like four big ones I can think of, you know?

Because like, one of the things that I was thinking of when I was like watching this back and forth is like, there's a certain aura that people give off that you don't give off, and I don't think I give off, but I have known people who do.

When you talk to them and you, you, like, argue with them, and you back and forth, and you're like,

You've never been fucking punched in the face.

Like, you know, that

feeling

you've never had an argument escalate to the point where you got fucking rocked out of nowhere.

And I feel like that's affecting your view of the world.

Yes, you the way you treat people is as

someone who has not felt a fucking punch to the face, absolutely.

And, like, also, the other thing is that, like, people who have never been like fucking rocked, like, they, I feel like they think they're going to die

if someone hits them.

But you're not.

You're just going to be like, you're going to make that,

you know, that noise.

Yeah.

And I mean, it depends on how hard you get hit and what it is, right?

There's also a difference

between, you know, getting rocked with a raw fist versus like a glove, you know?

And I'll take the glove.

Well, so here's the interesting thing about gloves, right?

There's a part in that video where like the coach is explaining, he's talking to us and giving us just like overall boxing information.

One of those things is like the difference between MMA bare knuckle boxing and then like large like 16 ounce gloves or so is you would think that like the raw fist would be worse in a lot of ways just because of the idea of it.

There's no protection.

But the fact that there's no protection means the person swinging at you cannot swing as hard.

And the damage they take themselves also means that there's like a there's a there's a difference in how the the pain hits and how the the

distribution of impact is so for a lot for all these different reasons what you end up with is a lot more cuts and like bruises from a raw like a smaller glove or like a raw knuckle but a large padded glove is

just diluting all of that into a spread Point, but the impact is much harder because you can swing harder, right?

So you can, there's more concussive force.

Yeah, there's more concussive force coming at you with a large 16-ounce glove compared to bear knuckle, right?

And so that's kind of the difference.

If someone's on the street just swinging at you, you know, they can, unless they land a perfect good night

swing, you're not usually going to see someone go to sleep.

Exactly, exactly.

But a glove, our large glove has a higher chance of doing that for sure.

And yeah, so that what you kind of saw was just some body sparring at first.

And that's what that's what that was.

And then afterwards, looking back at that, and then you know, some of the pre-release kind of like hype and stuff, it was like, we can do better, we can do it, we can go further than that.

And then that was a decision to like take it to the field and go for real.

So, you also had the middle part, which was y'all were doing BJJ.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

I'm not super familiar, but apparently, John is more into that shit.

Yes.

He's a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu guy.

And that is definitely apparent from watching that video.

Yep.

Yep.

So I have a question for you on a strategy perspective.

I want to know what you were thinking when you were trying to outfootsy Daigo.

So there were, I watched that because like when I was, you know, I'm decades out of date.

The last thing I ever did was I was like 15, 16.

Yeah.

But like I noticed that you kept trying to grab his leg, right?

Probably for a sweep or like a,

you know, an ankle lock or or something like that.

Right.

But I noticed that when you would go in, you would like completely open up your body and offer your head

to his arms.

Yeah.

And get caught like that in a, in a just a standard choke.

Yeah.

And then you would be like, you'd be a really big man and like you would take like a really long time to tap.

And it doesn't look like that long on the video.

But as somebody who's been in that choke, that is, you take take a you took a weirdly long time to tap.

And I'm wondering if you had like a strategy

that you were gonna like offer yourself up and then get in there and then like tickle his balls a little bit and he would giggle and then that would give you the opportunity to get in to do something.

Did that just not work out?

So, so what the black belt, the uh

command grab James, taught was essentially he I learned like two little tickle just uh no, I learned two moves and and the second of which I forgot Which was this it's a grounded thing where you kind of it was it was a whole flip thing and I was like, yeah, I don't remember so the only thing I really knew was just a double neck like takedown, which is a type of thing you could do and when you're rolling with somebody is it is it rolling Brazilian jiu-jitsu is what you're doing.

You're supposed there's a whole lot of things you're thinking about and if you can go like ah I caught you off guard tackle you to the ground that's a good way to like get the advantage.

But if you're unless somebody knows that you can just, you know, unless somebody's been doing it for a lifetime and yeah, they've got their belt and they're like, oh, well, the counter to this is to then do that, you know?

And it was funny talking about it after the fact because like

Shane Foxcade, who's also a big boy,

had it also.

He's a big boy.

Yeah, he also had a role.

And like his role lasted way longer than anyone else's.

Like he was doing it for like seven minutes while we all went for like three or three and a half.

And the difference was he kind of like just stayed sturdy and didn't offer anything, any limbs or any part.

He didn't do much.

He kind of just made it like you're going to have to roll me around and open me up because I'm being defensive, you know.

And the thing is, is that ultimately, like, that is, you can, you can do that.

It'll take longer, but the person who knows more will ultimately win.

Because Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is one of those things where it doesn't matter if you're bigger or smaller.

Little girls can make big men tap, right?

So,

but there's an important part to there's an important second part to finish here, which is

when you don't know what you're doing at all, which is me with this thing,

there's a trying stuff out and finding out why it doesn't work teaches you more.

So, if I'm going to stick my arm out to grab you behind the head or something, and you're going to go, no, you don't, I'm going to learn from that attempt.

But I'm the kind of person who's like, well, let me go for it to learn what that is.

So, this is a question specific to the area that you guys were doing this in.

What were the rules on like

knuckling the face

or finger bending?

Okay, so

this, it was not an MMA fight that we were having.

It was not full-on mixed martial arts.

It was just Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which focuses on grappling, holds, and

things like that.

I'm not talking about grappling.

I'm describing knuckling the face, not punching.

Okay.

Like just scraping your knuckles against somebody behind their ears.

I don't.

Up in their neck.

Yeah, I don't think that's okay.

According to the rules generally,

the other, however, is okay.

I think you can absolutely grab someone's arm and or wrist and twist it.

And at one point,

when he's fighting, when

John, who's a

blue belt, is fighting Karan Gadrames, who's a black.

And later, and he kind of described, he's like, oh, the difference between, he said,

John said, he said, I am closer with no experience to him at blue than he is to black, right?

It's exponential.

And

at one point,

James grabs him by the wrist and just does this.

And then you just see him fall over and go, ah, and he goes, I'm taking your belt away.

And he's like, don't put that in the video, right?

Because it's essentially something that is so beginner and so easy.

But when you're afraid of a billion other high-level things, you forget about this one basic thing.

So you, but you, you, you're allowed to do that, but you shouldn't fall for that if you know what the fuck you're doing and you've been doing this for a while.

To go back a second, though, with boxing,

essentially,

yeah, so the gym that I was at, and then like, this is like, this is like a newer location that the coach kind of moved to.

But the gym I was at is one that has like a large class.

And

when I was going, essentially,

the place is set up so that they're training like people that go to like Golden Gloves, which is like a, you know,

exactly.

It's like real champs are going and going as far as possible.

Olympic boxers are coming out of there too, as well, and stuff, right?

So, um,

a lot of smaller gyms is are kind of like you get in there, you punch around with some people, you do some mitts and some drills, and then you, and they're like, okay, get in the ring and spar.

Whereas here, it was kind of like, yo, we're not going to waste our time with people.

Like, like, if you're not serious about this in a way, sparring is meant for people who are trying to get to that next level.

That's kind of the

we got people working here, all right?

That's that's the kind of impression I got, especially with a large class and like not wanting to waste time with people that are kind of just coming in.

And especially if you're if you're just coming in for like, you know, cardio or something like that, then it's like, yeah, we want people that are, they're looking for people that are going to, that are trying to compete or so.

And so with that, it was always something that was like, sparring was, I would love to get to that point, but I'm not, I'm not there.

I'm the person that's there doing the drills, doing the mitts, kind of working the bags, essentially hitting the lab, you know.

And there would be like you do like little drills outside where you and the other person would like, you do like a light sort of spar outside or so.

But as far as getting in the ring experience and going for it, I had not done that.

The only time I'd done it in the past was when I went to ComboCon and HDM Executioner had us a gym and he's like, yo, get in the ring.

Let's have it.

Let's do it.

But overall, that was my, that's the lopsided thing is like, while I've been at boxing classes and messing around and having fun with that and doing drills for years.

Full-on sparring experience was not something I had.

So

you said the word lopsided, which actually brings me to my next

question, which is like,

it's the question I've been thinking of over and over, and I wasn't going to ask it until the fight was over.

What is the weight differential between you two guys?

I don't know how much he weighs.

Are you for real with that?

I don't know how much he weighs,

but it's probably a decent one.

Yeah, it's probably big.

You know, I would imagine I have

anywhere between

40 pounds or so on him.

Okay.

You know,

I'm under the assumption.

I know you're taller.

I know you're significantly taller.

And I was under the assumption that you weighed proportionally more because you're much taller, right?

Which means I have to give all the kudos in the world to John because

you, as the bigger, stronger opponent risk

like all pride and can like win none back because if you did win, it would be like beating up children because of a small person.

Well, that's not how size works.

It's not as if you beat up me because how much pride could you feel in that?

But that's not how size works.

And that's not in this case as as well with like sparring when you're uh when you're going into like a a match where you're effectively like we're not

go there's no knockouts here per se it's like we're we're we're moving we're throwing punches we're landing hits but like at no point am i attempting to like rob his conscience

so there is a factor that's more about like how many hits you're landing and how cleanly you're landing them than it is about how hard you're landing that hit and whether or not the person is completely shut out as a result of it, right?

That goes into how we handle that.

I don't understand what you're saying.

What I'm saying is, is that in that last fight, we weren't swinging at 100% because that's stupid.

It's stupid.

It's a fight, Wooly!

It's fun to see the man fall down.

Okay.

Don't you got any showmanship?

The showmanship was certainly getting out there and going for it as best as we could with and also going, like, all right, like,

the reason why Coach wants people body sparring in the ring, the reason why people are generally doing this with headgear and such, is because, again, when you don't know what you're doing and you're swinging your fist out there like an idiot at full fucking,

you know,

going zero to 100, those are the people that like get really hurt, are really dumb, are really ignorant, and are not taking it responsibly, right?

Like there's something, like when it comes to boxing and trying to do it, what's, you know, like all bits aside, like you're a, you're a fucking dumbass if you go out there and do that.

Like that's, that's bullshit.

And furthermore, that would, if I were, if I were to go out there and do that and actually like just be that, the person that people in the gyms are making fun of that are making YouTube video compilations of acting like an asshole, asshole like i would be so it would be so disrespectful to like that coach and that gym and everybody involved and you know what i mean the gym it would be in the field no one can tell you yeah okay okay all right all right all right sure it would be it would be crazy like actually to go out there and and be that asshole and like i don't know if i i'd get uninvited hold on how are you an asshole if it's a if it's a mutually agreed bout in a field right right okay like no no hold on if you showed up and john's like let's spar and you're like, okay, and then you fucking try and knock his head off, that's different.

That's that's ridiculous.

That's totally insane.

But, like, I have to tell you, coming from a place that, like, when I was in high school and I, my fucking martial arts class got invaded by adults in their 40s, and my sensei was like, yeah, just be better and fight them.

And, like, adult man was like throwing 120-pound five-foot guy, me, over the fucking wall with no gloves and like just get raw I'm like yeah okay you get you get your fucking you get

you just handle it okay

well um

yeah we decided to I treat it like boxing and you know

get in there and spar head and body and

not try to do permanent damage ultimately there was blood drawn you know did you did you consider blading at any point?

If we're going to

tone it down for the show,

could you have considered like

walking out on fake crutches?

I don't know if, like, I don't know if you want Relancers or bit,

but like.

There's no bit here.

Okay.

Well, in any case,

yeah, ultimately, well, you know, once you're sparring and you're, you're, you know, essentially like moving and hitting and landing.

And, you know, points are a factor or so.

There's also no ring, certainly.

So you're kind of just like in this wild open space.

Massive disadvantage.

Oh, he's fast.

No ring.

Once I saw that you guys were in open field, I'm like, well, you're the larger opponent with longer arms.

A ring would do you a lot of good, actually, in a certain situation.

Certainly.

Yeah, but in any case,

there was already a level of like

there was already a level of like, okay, if we're going to go back for that final round and

the most responsible way to do it would be to like, you know, get back into the ring and get the headgear and go for it that way.

That was not possible within the recording schedule time we had, so we made do with the field, and I thought that that was cool in the end.

Is that the field near Verdun?

It's out there, yeah.

So.

Okay, I actually grew up next to that field.

That's super weird.

Yeah, there's a nice view of the city from out there.

Because I saw you guys out there.

I'm like, I used to go to the park near there when I was a little baby.

But,

yeah,

in the end, like I said,

there was some blood drawn, but that was not the intent, certainly.

But ultimately, we did want to go for it.

And yeah,

and there's a feeling to us, certainly, as well, where even if you're not going at 100% of a swing, there are are moments where you are moving in the wrong direction and you are moving into something

right yes exactly so the difference between hitting a parked car versus hitting a car in oncoming traffic the oncoming traffic version of that happens while you're sparring anyway right which is why you still need to put a mouthpiece in which is why you still need to be careful and why you still need to be aware that like you can actually get knocked out you know if you're moving into something coming at you the opposite way but um but yeah overall there's a there's a there's

there's also like

the main thing that you get better at too is that kind of FTSE skill of reacting to what's coming at you and moving quickly and getting your counter punch in or like, you know, feeling out what they're doing and looking at their shoulder and stuff.

There's a lot of that that you're kind of like that's getting in there.

It's not just a big, dumb fucking

Walmart fight, but like there's parts of that where

you can focus on the technical and improve by kind of sparring like this, I guess.

I do have

a non-blood sport related follow-up question, which is since you guys did like a boxing style first round and an MMA, sorry, a BJJ style second round, did you ever consider doing a

like open gloves MMA thing for the third round?

Before it's a mixture of both styles.

That, yes, that's what I thought that third round was going to be.

There was a thought for a second about that, but the reality of the situation is, is, like, whereas John and I both have some boxing experience, I have zero Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu experience, like, literally none.

It was just a funsies thing added onto it, right?

Because Command Grab James, who is the BJJ guy, was here and was like, yo, come to my gym.

Let's have some fun.

And it was like, okay, yeah, let's do a thing out of that.

But ultimately, the challenge I gave John months ago was to go check out a boxing class.

And

he had

escalated.

Well, he took to it and continued going

multiple times a week, you know, with goals in mind.

And,

but, but like me, I like, I'm like, I didn't have that necessary interest to go become a Brazilian jiu-jitsu roller, you know, or player.

So that wouldn't have, that, that was, yeah, the BJJ side of things is honestly just me flailing like a fish, going like, all right, how fast can you tap me out if I'm doing some random shit?

I think, Woolly, that your sense of fair play is a bit overactive and that the way you structured these fights put you at an inherent disadvantage.

Uh, yeah, I mean,

I think I get that, but Part of the fun was saying, yeah, fuck it, let's go.

You know, I think from the jump, the moment it was like, yo, I've been sparring and practicing and going hard.

Let's do this.

And I was like, oh, I haven't been doing anything and I have no sparring experience, but boxing is cool.

Fuck it.

Let's go for it.

You know, and I got in there and I was like, yeah, let me just see what this is like.

You know, but I'm, I'm.

Absolutely that that was what it was.

And I had no illusions about getting in there and thinking like, oh, yeah, my, my reach and all that are going to make up for it.

I'm like, no, I've got no cardio.

I've got no gas.

I have, I'm not an athlete.

Are are you frozen

uh no uh oh oh oh I am oh I might be hold on a second

BRP

hello hey man I can can you hear me oh there you are you're back okay weird yeah I I could hear you

no problem and I am I still frozen uh no no you're you're back you're back there we are okay yes so uh no no make no mistake like the moment that that was thrown down and it, and, you know, John was like, yo, I've been boxing and sparring a whole bunch and I'm getting into it.

And also, he's a, he's a

taekwondo black belt as well and has fought

in like in competition for that

before he became a Brazilian jiu-jitsu blue belt and has like, you know, a lifetime of like fighting experience.

And it was like,

I was kind of like, oh, yeah, no, I have none of that.

I have terrible cardio.

I'm out of shape and don't know what I'm doing.

But this is, I like, I think think this is cool.

So, let me just throw it bigger.

Yeah, so let me just throw myself into this and see what happens.

But I know for sure that I'm not going in like,

yeah, I know that for sure, I'm not going in necessarily at anything besides a size advantage, but perhaps you're overestimating what size advantage means in the grand scheme of life and the world.

No, I'm not.

Trust me, I'm not.

Okay, well, Wooly, Wooly, look, look, look at, look at the camera.

I am a tiny man.

I know, but trust me.

But the part that it seems because Everyone I've ever scrapped with in my entire life was like a foot taller than me.

But if there are also people that are scrappers and or if there is a

fight where you're trying to end the person versus something where it's more of a sport and or something like jiu-jitsu where small people regularly tap out larger people because the nature of it is limbs and weight transfer and a whole bunch of other technical shit going on.

It's not just

this, you know, David and Goliath situation,

you know, every time.

And there's more to it just being like, you're bigger, you're heavier, therefore you should always win, you know?

No, no, no.

What I'm saying is you're bigger and heavier, therefore you should have organized these bouts.

To be in my favor.

No, no, no, no, not in your favor, but it'd be like it would allow your natural advantage to work.

Because in an open field, John can and did

consistently back away from your longer reach.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which he wouldn't have been able to do if he was in a ring because then you could have crowded him and get real close and

give him a hug.

Yeah, and the body sparring match, actually, I did walk him down to the corner

a couple times and kind of tried to lock him in there.

And I was like, ooh, I can use that to my advantage while trying to get like, take one and give one for sure.

But no,

the thought about how to organize it and set that up and stuff wasn't really, there wasn't much put into that either.

I just kind of knew, I'm like, yeah, I have this much gas in my tank.

It's significantly lower, you know, and I have

this much experience as well.

And I'm just going to go in there and have fun.

You know, I'm going to go have fun.

That's kind of what it was.

And I wasn't really putting all that there, you know,

forward because I kind of just wanted to enjoy the exchange, you know,

which I felt like I did.

That being said,

you know, this is the literal definition of got some good hits in, though, right?

Yeah, absolutely.

You know, got some good hits in there, took some as well.

And I kind of was interesting watching back on it and kind of seeing like, oh, I have some tendencies.

You know, I have some things where I'm like, oh, one thing I kept like a couple tendencies were like, you know, sidestepping and like going for a hook, you know, and then a couple times I'd do that, I'd go for a sidestep to set something up, and it worked about half the time or so.

Dropping my arms.

It was a massive prop.

You did not do a weird little spin.

I did not do a weird little spin.

You did not do a weird little spin.

And I mean, again, and this is like, you know, meanwhile, Command Grab James was doing literal fucking Mashiba like flickers, you know, crazy shit.

But

no,

I did.

I know it did not slip at any point with that either.

Because I'm also like just being like, don't embarrass the fucking yourself or the gym or any of those places.

Just keep it basic.

Don't try to do anything crazy and stupid and fucking fall out and have your balls out, you know?

So, like, this,

there was like a, there was like multiple months of like abject confusion from me that I like, I guess this is just the way my brain works.

I could, like, I was, I was talking to Paige about this.

I don't know what Woolly's doing.

He's scheduling a fight right before

the birth of his child.

What if he, like, breaks his arm or gets like a serious concussion?

Like, wouldn't that be like really

like a bad time for that?

It would.

And that would be why sparring was generally the approach we took as opposed to

booking it.

If it wasn't for the birth of your child, it wouldn't have been sparring, it would have been like bare knuckle dukes in a pit.

I mean, realistically, regardless of kid, I don't know that as somebody who talks for a living, I'd ever want to fully go down the road of taking a lot of head blows

for

long term.

Well, ask the football players and various punchy retired boxers how they feel yeah so there we go right like

like again

bitter reality right i if i love i love boxing and i think it's really cool but i also don't know that it would be great for me long term to walk into a situation where i'm getting hit up in the head constantly and i don't think that uh uh you know you would necessarily see the effects right away but over time you you would you know that's real man um

you know and uh not to mention of course that like the time it takes to dedicate to get that good and to take it to that level is also like okay well goodbye you know it's way more fun if you guys are just total amateurs and you just do no training whatsoever yeah yeah well that you know I mean there's there's there's drills you know there's there's there's mitt work there's bags there's shadow boxing but at the end of the day like you know real real sparring against somebody is like it's completely different from all the above well late

you're a longtime friend of mine, and I love you, and I want to tell you that I support you in any fight that you take, but I also want to tell you that I respect you enough to let you die in the ring.

Good.

Good.

Okay.

No towels thrown.

No.

No.

You got in there and you knew what you were doing.

Yes.

And I would never steal that from you.

100%.

I'm glad to hear it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I would also like to say I don't plan on fighting anybody in the future, but if I do fight someone and lose,

I will die in the ring.

Okay.

Okay.

I will take that.

I will take that into account.

And if I need to,

the towel will actually be a pillow to just make sure that your final resting place is leaving.

If you haven't gone 12 rounds minimum and I'm on the floor, just piss on me and throw me in a ditch.

It's what I would have wanted.

Yep.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Oh, man.

And I feel like you're the only person I know in my life that knows I'm telling you the truth.

Just, just, yup.

You're the only person I've known for long enough and I heard me say the dumbest things in the world that if I tell you, if I get into a fight of some kind of spectacle,

pull all the rules off and let them break my legs.

Yep, I will, I will encourage the ragdolling of your of your corpse afterwards.

Thank you.

There we go.

Yep, no, 100%.

Um,

it would be so cool, though.

It would be, it would be so cool.

It would be cool.

Because, like, I'll be in the hospital and I'll be like, you should see the other guy, and the therapy dog will be on my lap.

Man, those, those, those views would go crazy.

Um,

it's therapy dog,

Yeah, yeah.

No,

there is a.

Obviously, it goes without saying, but there's a whole lot you learn about yourself in the process of getting physical

and pushing it.

And

it's

like what I'm seeing, I've been bringing him up, but Command Grab James and like the

seeing like how he moved and like how he did that head.

That's a good nickname.

Yeah, yeah pretty solid um how he how he did that that headgear match and everything i i kind of was like oh

if we just stopped and put out it like if we just had this body sparring footage after building up all of this like yeah you needed more could you imagine the wet fart oh yeah of just like all right here you go uh uh uh uh i think to the the grappling you know is is a is a really good follow-up to that because

punching and kicking and pads and whatnot, I mean, your neck getting choked out or your elbow being bent, that sucks.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It sucks ass.

And every time I got tapped, or multiple of us got tapped with a chimura, it's called a move where you're just swinging the arm back.

And

he would see that and go, ah, I can't look, I can't look.

And he would get really, really squeamish.

And we're like, oh, did you

feel that time really badly?

And he went, no, I did it to someone and they refused to tap.

And the difference between

tapping and breaking is an inch.

That is respect.

And he was so squeamish after doing that once to somebody who didn't tap that he's like, I hate this move.

I can't look.

I can't deal.

You know?

Because once you feel doing that to somebody, yeah.

Yeah, then you get to walk around the rest of the day with a heart on.

Or you never unfeel it, or the memory never goes away.

It's go time.

I just, I just damaged a person.

All right.

You know, like he was getting so like squeamish about it because he's like, I've done that to people and it's fucking broken and he hates it because that's not what you want to do.

And you'll notice, there's a thing here.

You'll notice like

people who are really, really good at fighting and confident in that are the nicest, kindest souls.

Oh, yeah, they're very sweet.

With nothing to prove.

They have, they walk around with like feather weight on their chests because they're just like, yeah, we're just like, we're chill.

Everything's chill.

If anything steps out of control, it's not.

because I'm in control.

Everything's fine.

You know, other people getting heated and shoving and button and getting barking loud and whatever because they have no control over their situation or what's happening and they don't know what's going to happen.

So, that fear is coming out as anger so that they don't lose any fucking,

you know, ball points.

But when you are absolutely confident, you can just smile and chill and have no malice whatsoever in all of these situations.

And that's, that's, that's how he is, you know.

So, yeah, I could, he's the kind of person who's like with a smile on his face, rolling people around, flipping them over, and being being like woo hey nice hands let's go and like he sounds like he's having fun while absolutely massacring and mauling people you know playing putt-putt with a four-year-old you're like oh good shot buddy that's it that's it but you're hurting but you're hurting each other you know yeah um i mean you you can't see it up close but like his ears are the flattest cauliflowers you've ever seen i love it like it's that sign of like oh that the ears tell you the ears tell you everything you need to know this is this is like slightly tangential do you know that in the fit the tick tock fitness community there is a trend that the gen z's are doing where they have their buddies drop weights on their ears

boy so that's not new fake having called so that's so that's not new on that's been pre-tik to that's a

it's new to me that is a yes that is a a a mma gym bro move for or just not it's not even that you can all just rolling it on the on the mat right doing a lot a lot of ear rolling on the mat to like falsely get that ear it's I mean listen have you ever seen synthol do you know what synthol is yeah if you look up synthol people are willing to do that to their bodies so the surprise of there's no surprise behind um people forcing cauliflower ear in mine because

if you just there's motherfuckers that want big muscles so badly that they'll inject inject themselves with liquid shit to make their arm look like a balloon.

And it's horrendous.

You know what?

Good for them.

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

It's illness.

Sema B deflate them.

It's fucking illness, you know?

You're like, people are willing to do that.

So of course they're willing.

Yuck their yum, Woolly.

Oh, yeah.

Man.

They want to be mentally ill and deform their muscles.

Oh, fuck.

And

then it melts or pops, and then all the worst things happen.

And then it's cool as shit.

Oh man.

Yeah.

So anyway,

I got into a fight and you can go check that out if you'd like.

If you want to go see me get that.

I did get popped a couple good times.

I saw John got you a couple like in the kiss or more.

Did you suffer any bruises from that at all?

No.

He got me more to the body.

A couple to the head, more to the body.

I think.

It's a little hard to tell with the body because you guys were wearing, like, bluntly, like you guys were wearing clothes.

Yeah.

so it's a little it's a little more difficult to tell so the amount of headshots we got on each other was uh closer to even but he got way more to the body on me and i kind of was like walking through them at first and then i was like he got one where i was like oh

okay no stop walking through these you know there's the one where i you he you you see me go oh

right you got a good old horf in there i get a horf out and then you see me drop my hands right

and then you know and then uh there's another one there's a couple of those where there's hit reactions where I go, oh, the gloves come down, you know.

And like, yeah, gloves coming down, like, like, there's, there's the bits where you're kind of like, you can, you can,

your arms are tired, you know.

So I'm just like, okay, I'm defending my head more than anything.

And I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll be willing to tank some to the body until you're not willing to, you know.

But no, I was fine.

Um, by basically about an hour afterwards, I was like, okay,

I felt like a little bit of ringing, you know,

and popped a Tylenol, and then

by that night, it was all good.

He

was

feeling it way more, surprisingly.

Do you know what that means?

That means you won.

That means you won.

The next day,

his head and his arm, he was talking about how he was still kind of feeling some of that.

And I was like, oh, shit, okay.

That means you won.

100%.

100%.

You conclusively won.

There's no life bars on the screen.

Damage received versus damage given.

Come on.

There were no life bars on screen.

If you had kept going, then you would have concluded.

Absolutely.

You stopped the fight too soon.

If we kept going, I would have been a sweating, heaving mess because I was like gasping for air.

Use the sweat.

Oh, man.

Cardio is rough.

Boy.

Anyways.

On a timeout,

guy with less life, they lose.

That is

like

the last 10 seconds or so, like my hair falls down and you can see me in burnout.

That's like being like.

That's weird.

Oh,

fuck.

What you're supposed to do after the fight

is when you ask somebody, how you doing?

Never felt better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You feel great.

You see the other guy.

Oh, like, what?

It's like, oh,

I should go work out more today.

Oh, man.

gasping gasping i i pushed uh initially the thought was three rounds and then i was having so much one i said let's do four then i said fuck it let's do more let's keep going you know but yeah um

the the ability to uh build that up is the most important thing i would say and it's the and i felt myself having fun but also like mad at my body for reaching its limit it was such a it was a dumb anime moment but it really was like damn it i'm starting to fucking go here.

We're starting to get warmed up, and I can't move my legs or arms anymore.

You know what you can do?

You need to do to help with that?

Yeah.

Just start pissing your pants.

Oh, yeah, there we go.

Because the adrenaline from the embarrassment is going to really just help you push through.

Oh, man.

Yeah, I wonder what the ref has to say about that.

I wonder.

Well, there was no ref.

Right, right, true, true.

There is an adrenaline dump, by the way.

Command grab told us about that, but like there is a definite, like, like

about 30 seconds in armor where you don't feel much.

You don't feel anything really.

Absolutely.

You know, because you're just your brain's on, and then it's going to wear, it's going to go down, which also you feel when you're getting fat skin.

Clearly, you would have wanted to have won by that point.

Yes, you would want to win.

In the ideal world.

Right.

But hey, you know, this is not fucking Takamura or Tyson, for that matter, where the impact, the strength, no, strength stat, strength stat doesn't mean much in a

in a in a hit counting fight right so

uh anyways that was uh that was that that was that did you go through the trouble of like counting all every single hit over all the footage no no no i mean i i by the end of the the the five rounds i i knew i he touched me way more than i touched him and i was like yeah that's that's that you know um

ultimately it was uh

it was one where he was like ah yeah he was kind of like ah it doesn't even matter or so but i'm like yeah no but you know you got me like you can i can feel the, the,

the, the, the tally if there were judges.

So, we have a, we have a question from the audience from one Peach Saliva asking, when you were getting hit and feeling pain, did you goon during the fight to distract yourself?

Oh, man, that is the good tech, isn't it?

Unfortunately, I am not Hsoka, so I did not, you know, like, as much as I love the idea of the combat sexual, um, yeah, it, it just wasn't working in this particular one.

I was a little too

locked in there.

But you know, like,

it might have happened subconsciously.

I might have not been paying attention.

I don't know.

You know?

Oh, God.

And, and for the record, did you check?

For the record, the gooning, the gooning tech,

the tattoo gooning tech.

My impression is that under my understanding is that gooning implies like you have to actively do it.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

Gooning requires

you to make many clarifications, so it was left to everybody's imagination.

Okay, okay.

Because, yeah,

my impression is that gooning requires like actual physical activity to be occurring, as opposed to just like

to you know, mind traveling, mind palace, you know, depends on where your Kegels are at.

Hmm, hmm.

Okay,

because yeah, I

if you can

if if

the definition of the modern goon to me

has come to be just

edging it, edging it for hours, just non-stop, right?

So, I don't know.

To the limit.

But in terms of follow-ups on the storyline here on CSV called Don't Tattoo Me, I'll Come, we had someone in this audience decide to give it a shot themselves.

And how did that go?

Not effective.

Okay.

They didn't find it particularly effective.

Though what was really funny is they posted about it on the subreddit and didn't get any traction and it immediately fell off the fat the front page.

But me and Paige saw it and recognized the name.

And the next time they came into my stream, I was like, you,

I saw you gooning during your tattoo.

They were very embarrassed.

Yeah, again, if if if just going into your mind palace counts as gooig, then I suppose.

But, you know, if otherwise you're just hitting, you're just meditating your way out, then I don't know what to call that.

Sorry to hear that didn't work for you, buddy.

You know, maybe your Rolodex sucks.

Maybe.

Maybe the replays were not that great.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

I'm sorry if you don't have any five-star replays ready to go.

That person's husband is listening to this right now, by the way.

You know,

if your best material just didn't isn't going to cut it, then I don't know what to do.

You know?

Damn.

Sucks to suck.

Anyway.

what's going on?

I'm glad you had fun, buddy.

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Had a lot of fun.

Loved it.

Loved it.

What's going on?

Let's switch over because I got a couple things, but.

Yeah, well, let's keep rolling with you because we're on the woolly show right now.

What's going on, man?

Okay, so

besides fighting,

there was a couple.

Besides sparring

and then getting flopped around like a fish,

There was a couple of Fantasia movies that I wanted to catch that's going on right now, and that's the Montreal Film Festival that comes every year.

And I've talked about it a couple times, and shout outs to them.

Got the cool little Fantasia shirt going.

It's cool.

Nice.

Yeah.

So this year, one of the ones they had was All You Need Is Kill,

which is the original story that Edge of Tomorrow is based on, exactly, right?

But this is finally animating

the source material.

Oh, they made an anime movie about the Tom Cruise movie?

So it's such a confusing series of adaptations.

Sure is, isn't it?

Okay, because,

and it really should have been called Live Die Repeat.

Like, it should have been called that, right?

Let's be real.

Uh-huh.

I kind of love the name All You Need Is Kill.

That's great too, but like, but like compared to Edge of Tomorrow, right oh terrible god which that should have got all the edge of tomorrow i'm like is that the one where like the world has a big title wave

where robert patterson gets hit by 9-11 yeah like is that is that where the world just has a big old natural disaster because that's what it sounds like you know um anyway so the light novel

um was one thing and uh i checked that out back in the day i mean honestly like years ago i think i talked about it on uh friendcast right and then there was a manga adaptation of of that light novel.

And then there was

the Tom Cruise Edge of Tomorrow adaptation.

And now we're going back to the

light novel and turning that into an anime.

And it was Studio 4C

who animated that.

And they're the folks who did

Kid Story and Detective Story in the Animatrix.

Really, really talented studio.

Tech on Kid Crete and

the Golden Age Arc of Berserk, Spragan, et cetera.

Very, very cool.

And

surprisingly,

going into this and going, all right, let's see how the source material holds up in animated form all these years later, they changed that shit again.

And

yeah, and they made a huge narrative swerve on

what is is happening because, um, are you familiar with the

besides, you know, you know, okay, you know the Tom Cruise movie?

I've only seen the Tom Cruise, The Edge of Tomorrow.

Okay, so there's there's details that change between the source material and that, of course, but for the there's large strokes that are mostly the same.

They

adapted it so that it's following Rita, the girl, as the main character, not Tom Cruise.

Okay, they changed the main character, like Like when she's doing it?

You're following her story, and

it basically makes it like

the rhythm

follows the beats, but then you end up meeting the weaker person instead of the weak guy meeting the stronger girl, so to speak.

And this version is the best version of all of them.

It fucking rules.

It works really well.

When you say you're following the girl, do you mean like through repeats, or she just has one narratively sequential story?

Okay, so

in the Tom Cruise movie, and then of course in the original, you're following the guy who is a soldier who's joining up.

And he's not a soldier, rather, he's like one of the random grunts.

And then you're following his respawns

as he finds himself stuck in the loop.

And then eventually you meet Rita, who's like a badass fighter at that point, with her armor, her red armor going all in, and she's already, you know, well advanced, and she's on her own

path.

And then the two of them working together have to make it through and then overcome the whole time loop problem, right, of the invaders.

This story, the movie starts on her point of view and stays on her, and she's the main character of the film.

Okay.

And we're following her story through the whole movie, and he ends up being the supporting character.

So this is like new game plus read aside, essentially.

Okay.

But the events.

This is a sequential narrative.

No, no, no, no.

That's the thing.

The events are occurring as

are occurring differently from the source material as well with her in the main character spot.

And it works so well.

It's really good.

Like I was at first I was like, why are you changing it?

You know, after all this time, we're not adapting it as, and it's like, no, no, no, they didn't.

This actually, it really worked out.

It gives a bunch of extra perspective to things that, like, I felt were undeveloped in the source material.

Something in particular that ends up being really cool here is like, you know, you get the,

a big part of what's awesome about the all you need is Kia Led, Edge of Tomorrow, and such is like the montage of getting stronger and learning how to fight from being somebody that doesn't know what they're doing.

And

watching her kind of like spec all that you know experience into memorizing footsies and and and you know details of how to fight um but this guy who's the weaker supporting kind of dude is spending his loops like speccing into int

and knowledge and tech and advancing you know their their their their shit and like the combination of the two ends up working really well and complementing each other in a really cool way, you know?

There's aspects of their personalities as well that are expanded upon when you get their backstories that

like their personalities, like, you know,

I don't want to go too far into the, because this is a brand new telling of the story, so I don't want to like, you know, spoil

too many of the details, but they've, they've made them really complementing characters with each other.

And

the source material has like this thing where, you know, a relationship feeling kind of sorts to form towards the end, but it definitely always felt like it's a bit sudden, but it maybe, you know, but it was a bit loose and odd.

And here it gives you a bit more to chew on with that.

And something about the original as well.

The Tom Cruise movie got rid of it, but the all you need is kill original movie always had this thing where there's an invading alien force that's like a protoss of sorts that's just not in the situation that sends in the stuff you see them fighting.

They're not actually, the things that are fighting on Earth, the spinning, you know,

blade enemies, are actually

a detachment of like

self-controlling, self-perpetuating drones, essentially, for like a smaller, intelligent, alien force that wants to invade.

And they're not in the picture, and it actually makes, it's just tighter.

It's a tighter story to not have this other force that doesn't really do much in the end and doesn't really lead to much either.

And one final bit is that

there's a, the end of the original story

was,

I don't, yeah, if anyone hasn't seen it or so, like, there's some twists that happen and stuff that, that, that plays out where it's like, that's cool, but

they made it a smarter twist is the best way I could describe it.

They took what was there and they made what happened here like it's smarter and it feels better.

So overall, the characters feel like they're just better fleshed out, better developed.

And it's, yeah, it's the best adaptation of this story so far.

Also, the art style is like really

having fun and like exaggerating proportions and characters and stuff in a way that is like

unusual.

And I really like it, you know?

If you go check out the all you need is kill, I guess, 2025 anime trailer, you'll see what I'm talking about.

There's like kind of goofy, stretched-out faces and stuff.

And, you know, and Studio 4C is willing to do that.

Like, if you, if you see some of the previous stuff they've animated, like Tekkon Kincrete, for example.

So great job to them with this.

Like,

it's a fun,

well-done adaptation after all this time.

And, you know, for the changes they make, they're for the better, I think.

This is my favorite version of this story now that I've seen it like four times.

Okay.

Can't wait for the fifth adaptation.

Yeah.

I mean, to be fair, like it was always, there was always a feeling of like, oh, the original was always just sitting there and never got anything.

You know, you went, you went from light novel to obscure small manga to Tom Cruise, you know?

So

yeah, anyway, beyond that, there was another film called Angel's Egg.

Oh, I know Angel's Egg.

Yeah, have you seen it?

I've seen bits and pieces.

Okay, Angel's Egg.

I've seen just enough of it to understand how it relates to the Ring City DLC in Dark Souls 3.

Angel's Egg is

a lot.

Directed by Mamoru Oshi of Ghost in the Shell fame and art done

by

Yoshitaka Amano of fucking Final Fantasy fame.

You can really tell with all the wispiness.

It's gorgeous.

It's one of the most beautiful things.

And, yep, wispy blonde characters with their hair in the wind walking around painterly, souls-esque gothic architecture, shadowy, dark, and brooding.

It's

difficult because...

What's it about?

Well,

Mamoru Oshi doesn't really want you to know.

It's

beautiful, and it's a movie that, like,

it's extremely light on dialogue.

It's extraordinarily obtuse, and there's moments where analogies to biblical

Noah's Ark and

come into play heavily.

There's a couple of signs of like things like

angels.

You see like the bones of an angel with the titular, you know, so to speak angel.

You see fishermen that are trying to catch an army of fishermen that are catching fish that don't exist.

They're failing, but they're fishing after shadows.

And what I can say is that

this movie kind of came out and Mamaru Oshi had a hard time with his career afterwards because it was so obtuse that people didn't know what to do with it.

And it does now watching it back, it does feel like an art book committed to film.

And

for better and for worse,

you feel where Amano and Oshi are like, okay, we love Gothic architecture.

We like pretty girls.

We like cool young lads with like weapons on their shoulders and capes.

And we're going to show these things.

And that's kind of what we're going to show.

And don't worry too much about the rest of it in a way.

There's cool imagery.

You can interpret as the best you can what you're looking at.

But

everyone was left scratching their heads going, I'm not sure what happened.

And

there's parts of it that slow the fuck down and get really like

you're tilting your head sideways, trying to, you're like, what are we doing here?

And not in a Lynchian way, but in a way where, like, um,

like, Lynch will show you a lot of things, but like, you won't know what those things are or why they're happening.

This, there won't be things, there'll just be like a lack of things, you know?

Um,

there's a heavy, like, like Ava elevator style scene.

There's a, I felt like a minute-long like single-frame shot, you know, at one point.

Um, I think that by the numbers, they said that this movie had like 33% of the shots that an average animated feature does.

So like it's way less, but there's these big painterly things you're kind of looking at.

Gorgeous, but you just kind of have to go into it going like, I'm not going to understand shit.

And

to some degree, there's an effect that doesn't work in its favor, which is

I was describing an episode of Game of Thrones that happens in the late seasons, right?

When it starts, when the horse starts to get into the child's drawing phase of Game of Thrones, where you're following the group that is going beyond the wall,

you know, with the Wildlings and such, and Jon Snow.

And they don't really have any other group to cut to for the whole episode.

So they just have moments and scenes of characters doing stuff.

Then the camera pans up and then establishing shot and then right back down to the same group.

And you're like, oh no.

Oh, no, we're out of stuff, right?

That's a little awkward.

Suicide Squad, the original movie, exact same problem.

They walk, they have a couple quips, camera pans away, pan back to the group, we're still here.

We do another quip, we do another scene, pan away, pan back to the group, we're still here.

And you feel that in films when they're edited that way, and it feels bad.

It feels very bad because it slows down the time and it makes it feel like, oh, we don't have anything else to teach you, or to say, or to explain right now.

So we're just going to watch the character walk in and do a scene and then walk out of the scene.

And then the next scene with that character will begin.

And unfortunately.

It looks really pretty in this movie, right?

And so this is a, it looks really pretty, but this is,

it does feel like an amateur move when like the time to move away from a subject or establishing a thing about a character into something else or in a different location, whatever the case is, is, you know,

usually

you, you know, you space things out so that you can build up an idea of the whole pieces and then you let those dominoes all fall and then they clash together and then you get to your third act.

And here there was not enough pieces moving because there's one main character who was by herself and didn't say anything.

So it was her running around with her egg for

we don't know.

But

that carried on for the first, I'd say, 40% or so.

And then eventually there's another character who joins, and they kind of move together.

But because they're not talking, and because there's, you know, you're kind of just moving through this environment, which is beautiful, but it does suffer from this problem, right?

So we walked out of there going, I don't know what the fuck I just watched.

It was gorgeous, but holy shit.

And,

you know, some folks were starting to fall asleep, and I don't blame them because it does get, it does drag, you know.

You watched like the genesis for the entire storytelling perspective of the from software catalog.

I can see that.

I can see Berserk as well being

part of that genesis.

That makes more sense in a way, especially when it comes to the characters and the

doing of things,

you know?

Because, yeah, like an art book showing you beautiful scenes and characters moving through them is what gets Amato fucking hard.

And Oshi loves these beautiful moments as well.

But

I had to go back and read about what this movie was and what happened.

And

I learned how we got here and why the obtuseness is as bad as it is.

Because essentially, this was supposed to be a Lupin III movie.

Okay, that's what?

That's not what I thought you were going to say.

And then that didn't happen.

And Amano was slated to work on that with Oshi back then.

And when that didn't happen, the angel's egg idea and the wanting to, and there's a whole like Noah's Ark theme to this.

Well, he wanted to revisit that.

So he was planning to make an original, also action comedy.

And

then he saw Amano's artwork of all that gothic imagery and went, no, I'm going to make it a more serious gothic tale.

And then

a script writer that he was working with wrote up his full detailed script and a whole story about it.

And then he threw that version out in favor of one with all the words gone, basically.

And there's a couple scenes where things happen, and he decided to go back and change them to make them harder to understand on purpose.

I feel like Yoshitaka Amano is the single most prominent artist ever that has had the least amount of his art actually hit the page.

Yeah,

the translation.

And so when we talk about something that's like, Amano

did this and oh she did this.

It's like, what do you got?

I don't know.

I don't know what it is.

It's pretty.

And I mean, but people love it so much that they're like, I'm going to strive to try to translate this into another medium.

I won't capture it at even 50%, but we'll do our best, you know?

But in this case, I mean, I feel like the environments especially feel like his final work, you know?

Like, it feels like they really did realize a lot of his gothic castles and such.

But yeah, Angel's Egg was supposed to be a comedy Lupe III thing, and then that got scrapped.

And then it was going to be like a more coherent story.

And then that got scrapped.

And then he wanted wanted it to be obtuse.

And so the end result was it got critically acclaimed for its beauty

in Japan.

A lot of people were like rightfully praising that.

But there was one notable negative reception that I saw.

And

that came from

That came from one Miyazaki Hayao

and he said that he didn't understand the film and he appreciates the effort, but he feels it was not something others would understand.

Oshi goes on a one-way journey without thinking about how to get back.

And honestly,

he's not wrong.

That's so brutal, man.

He's not wrong.

So brutal.

Holy shit.

Like, it...

It's gorgeous, but he's not wrong.

And

as somebody who like like there's definitely always room for something to be like kind of left open and to like let the let the let the viewer come to you sometimes and such I you know, but like there's when you make those decisions, I guess like they're open to critique sometimes they work and sometimes they don't and um

This is this is kind of one of those cases where I'm like I don't think it worked as well, you know, and not that he shouldn't be like able to or willing to try that, but the end result did like you kind of lose track of everything going on at a point, um, despite the beauty.

Now, I know that it's a divisive as fuck movie, and if you're somebody who's like, I just love the vibe, and that's all that matters, it's gonna be the best thing ever, and that's I get that that's fair if that's if that's all you were looking for.

But um,

I read that and I was like, damn, Miyazaki, I see what you're saying.

If I can pull from a turn of phrase my wife loves to use,

if I was a filmmaker and was criticized harshly by Hayao Niyazaki, I would simply kill myself.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

It's funny because I then read that like

Oshi's own mother said that this would result in him not being able to get work.

And

he struggled to get work after this until Patlibur, and then eventually Ghost in the Shell.

And

it's weird, but when it comes to these types of.

Did you know that you can tell what's happening in Ghost of the Shell?

You can, actually.

You absolutely can.

Yeah.

You can actually, you can find, like, there's a plot, and you're like, oh, that character.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, and, you know, because ultimately

uh ultimately you know he's he's adapting um you know the the original work and and not necessarily in charge of the the directing and script and and everything else entirely you know um

but uh

uh uh

anyway no what where was it what was i gonna say um

the the uh uh yeah he had a hard time uh getting work after that and uh eventually like you know he kind of broke the spell or so but but there's a difference when you're making these decisions to be obtuse on purpose right um yeah if masamuno shiro is behind him then god bless but uh uh when you decide when something is like being written or a moment happens and you go

huh you know what should we explain more or should we leave that where it is and you go I'm going to leave it where it is.

Let's leave that.

Let's leave that open.

You know,

I can I've seen and

I've worked on things where that's been a part of it,

where it kind of like it comes out of the sculpture, so to speak, and then you kind of leave it undefined in a way deliberately.

There's a reverse version of that.

I want to hold you onto it because I feel like there's a somatic version.

of the two ideas you're describing.

Like there's a body version.

Because like one of the things that I think about when you run into like a, you know, an obtuse narrative, right?

Or like something, there's two things.

You can have your, you can look at, you know, audience man, audience woman.

They can either be sitting there with their arms crossed a little bit and their hand on their chin, maybe, just like, hmm,

hmm, right?

That's good.

That's what you want.

What you don't want is their hands on their knees and their eyes squinted a little bit, going,

what?

What?

So, who?

There's two feelings.

Why?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those two feelings.

And there's also two ways to go about these moments, right?

There's ways where you can essentially

think about the, like,

a character and whatever details you want to say about them and go, let's bring these lines to the forefront, right?

So

an item description in souls is a great example of that.

We don't know anything about this character except for what we get from their weapon, their soul, you know, these couple of paragraphs or so, right?

when average moviegoer is watching a film they should not sound like my mother watching an episode of law and order

okay getting confused by law and order okay who who who was that wasn't he the the other way to go about it

the other way to go about it is to have it all fleshed out and then take things away um

and that that can be done but it's a much more delicate situation to fuck up and in this case case where you're like oh he specifically took moments that existed and said I want these to be harder to understand the like that is my goal it's like

it's not the same feeling you know um

and and I I feel like that's there's a bunch of of this where it you know you kind of go ah yes this this had more context or more lines or this had something that was uh fit better or fit more clearly into the narrative.

And then he went, nah, I don't don't want people figuring it out that easy and then decided to to

obtusify it, you know, so anyway, all this to say that it's a gorgeous movie, but fuck is it a

head fuck narratively and

It's a it's a gorgeous art book that is moving, but it is a difficult recommend unless you are down with that art and That's the entirety of what you're here to experience.

Yeah, there's a decision to leave the audience behind and it was made on purpose.

And

sometimes that works, but in this instance, I don't think it did.

This is also an old classic, so

it's kind of wild to be pointing at it and saying this, but you could taste the paper on it.

But

this is, you know, walking out of the theater with it.

This feels like the kind of movie that, like, the most annoying guy you know would make his entire personality.

I mean,

yeah,

yeah, it could be, it could be, you know, like, there's still, there's always the, I mean, Lynch gets those Lynch fans that go that, that become that person.

Yeah.

You know, um,

but but in any case, this is this.

I didn't get the same vibes from this that I got from Mulholland Drive, mind you.

Um,

but yeah, uh, I don't think anyone ever would

from anything

or but or other media that decide to be

more quiet and obtuse about things.

It feels absent is what it feels like, you know?

Like, if you're showing me things that I don't understand and then kind of like letting me piece together how they might connect,

there's at least, there's more to chew on there.

But in this case, it was a lot of like this one girl in this one environment with

little things

around, but not much in a larger context to, you know, sort of chew on.

You know, I described the fisherman and the fish and the shadow thing.

Like, that was one of the most standout unique moments that were not just involving these two characters walking around.

You know, and I fucking loved Eco and Shadow of the Colossus.

You know what I mean?

So, anyway, anyway.

It's beautiful, though.

All right.

And then, last,

there was.

But not least.

But not least.

Fixed.

Ah, you saw it.

I saw that it has excellent reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.

The Gendy Tardakovsky animated feature film coming to Netflix on August 13th

about a dog who's about to get neutered, having his last day out on the town.

Now,

so I'm going to grab my dog with no balls

to listen to this review.

Starring various names, including Idris Elba, and so on.

Like, incredible,

ridiculous cast in this.

Fixed is fucking hilarious.

Oh, yeah.

It's really funny.

It is absolutely disgusting.

It is super funny and fucking gross.

And you have to be...

Last batch of Run and Stimpy episodes.

You have to be down

with the fucking gross if you're going to fully enjoy and embrace this.

That's the caveat, and it's loud and clear.

Willie, I would like to ask you

just a clarifying question.

Yeah.

Just to set the tone.

Is this cope?

No.

No.

And I can elaborate.

I need you to like go back and like examine it for like a second.

No, I can elaborate.

I can elaborate.

There's big laughs that the audience is having and that I and that we had

to the shit going on in the movie, but there are also moments where the entire row of us, where Punch Mom and me and Reggie and Canti are like all

looking away from the screen because we can't take what's happening on screen right now.

All right.

So if you want like hilarious, like there's funny dog owner humor going on and a lot of fun.

Like you can tell too, like, okay, this is a dog owner that knows and understands dogs and like little inside bits that are very, very specific to dog ownership.

Ugly disabled dog, I would get these bits.

Absolutely, right?

They're out in full force for a whole lot of that movie.

And there's a charm to how much much this movie loves dogs and paying attention to the little things they do and if you're a dog owner what you what you get from that

at the same time i hope you are okay and ready to stare at turds being chewed on in detail

like yeah i can do that okay so if you're listening to this some people

can probably do that some people can't

staring

I can't take that.

I've had to scrape cat shit off my dog's teeth, man.

Yeah, okay.

I'm out.

I'm out.

I can't do that.

That's fucking crazy.

I can't do that.

Oh, man.

Right?

Oh, I have bad news for you, sir.

And you know what?

No, no, no.

Bad news for you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Baby, and her own poop are

its own little world of

its total.

All right.

Hold on to that.

Yeah.

Fucking dream.

There is nothing that can come from that'll be an issue.

Um, there, someone write down that he said this.

Okay, okay, okay.

What that actually means is

it will be an issue, but I'm gonna fucking do it, and that'll be that.

There you go,

okay, all right.

Like, an issue actually is for me, is like, nah, I can't do this.

I'm tapping out.

No, there is no tapping out, it's happening, regardless, but it'll stop.

Right?

That's it.

I'll tell you a story.

Now, now, now, now

the row of us sitting there can't deal with that.

That's too much, man.

And it was fucking, and like, the bit was that, like, it keeps going.

It was like, we know we're gross, so let's let that linger and let's add,

right?

Let's add the details, right?

Right?

You're like, oh, I got no problem.

Sure, okay.

And, like, you know, there's, there's points in the movie where there's like a poop emoji style joke of like, oh, it's the, it's the little ice cream fucking thing or whatever.

This is like details and peanuts, man.

Yeah, whatever.

Okay, so you're saying whatever, but for anyone listening.

I didn't watch the cup.

I didn't blink.

That's fine, but just understand a lot of people are not going to whatever that.

That it fucking is like, ugh, right?

Yeah.

So that's it.

That's it, right?

If, um,

you know, there's, there's hilarious laughs,

you know, and big old fucking

some funny ass bits, but there's like dog fucking.

Like, there's dog sex happening and it's awful.

And it is like super like emphasized.

There are out, right?

There are elements of that where it's like you're animating the feeling of like, you know what a cartoon dog is like floating or a cartoon is like floating because of the smell of a pie or whatever?

That's right.

Yeah, the waft of the heat coming from the

female in heat.

And we're animating that.

The fucking, we're animating the dog pussy waft

as the dog is getting in there to fuck.

And you're like,

oh my god, what are we doing, guys?

And it's just, it's a lot, man.

I gotta tell you, somebody who's owned dogs my whole life, this is actually like, you need to just fucking okay.

Well, that's good.

It's good that you can fucking tank that and you're fine.

But I'm describing why everyone else is having a rough go about fixed, right?

And where you start, the reason why you started this going, like, are you sure it wasn't cope is because that feeling everybody's getting is from what I'm describing.

That shit is in there.

You know?

If you're going to go see this or go watch it on Netflix or if I'm going to recommend it to people, you have to be able to deal with what I'm describing.

And if you can, then great.

And if that sounds like a bad time, then you know.

So what you're saying is that you're saying is if you're cool and tough as fuck, you should watch this movie.

And if you're a little pussyman, you should watch.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Not

being down with the fucking fucking turd eating is

just gross stuff.

Yeah,

exactly.

It's gross stuff.

Anyways.

I don't know what there's no...

You either feel this way or you don't.

And that's it.

End of story.

This is where we are.

It's not like it's pickles on a sandwich.

Okay.

Disgusting.

The things that make you viscerally react and gag

make you viscerally react and gag, Pat.

Hey, hey, listen, Wooly.

Woolly.

Dogs exist in the real world.

Mystery syringes are rare.

And we've reached the limit of the point.

And I've established so that anybody who's hearing this, I'm talking past you at this point.

To people who are like, oh yeah I kind of don't want to see shit eating actually you know yeah but anyways um

now that being said it's fucking it's it's it's really funny like it's super wild and it does definitely um I was thinking that the the um

the inspirations were gonna be, I think I said like Fritz the Cat or

John Kay.

And it's like, it was actually not that.

It was like Tex Avery.

It's just going on like a big adventure into the city.

and you know um

overall in terms of just like animation quality and like the um gendi doing what he does it's incredible stuff but he's using it for evil for evil he's using his talents for extreme evil to attack you specifically to attack everybody really this is not no you he's pointing his finger at you going i'm gonna get you woolly well i can prove that that's not the case and let me let me get there all right oh yeah oh oh

so

we're sitting there and like they go all right um we're gonna bring up the um

we're gonna bring up a special guest and it's the and then we're like uh and it's like it's the um the animation france festival curator and it's like oh hey come on you know he comes up and he introduces uh some of the choices for their films and everything and we're just like jesus christ like okay he's like it's the closing film of the festival.

You know, let's, uh, yeah, like, fine, this is a big deal and such, but, like, imagine meeting him under these circumstances.

That would be insane.

And then the dude goes, ladies and gentlemen, Gendi Tartakovsky.

And Gendi walks out on stage.

And we're like, what?

I filmed a bit, like, literally me and Reggie.

And we're just like, why?

You're here now for this?

We're meeting you because dog pussy.

Yeah, dude.

It's what he really cares about.

And he

actually

showed up

for this premiere.

And then, you know, we like the movie played.

He got an award.

And then he did a Q ⁇ A afterwards.

And at the Q ⁇ A, he was describing, like, they're like, okay, so.

What the fuck, man?

And he explained it.

He explained it.

And so basically,

he's been trying to make this.

I said 11 years before, since 2008.

So it has been longer than that.

And he has been trying to make this.

And it was also a movie that he wanted to make.

It was basically like something with him and like his friends from school back in the day, like their crew, you know, was kind of like he wanted to kind of like kind of have it like a little animated feature with some of those friends, almost like Seinfeldie, you know?

And then at one point, he he was like, oh, making them dogs is like a fun way to do that.

And pitched it and got interest, but you know, couldn't get, couldn't land it, you know?

And

after all this time, it's finally like, it's finally possible.

That's fucking 17 years now, you know?

But he was describing how he's like, you know, in addition to that, he's like, he loves his dog.

He loves, and you can tell, like, he fucking, he's in, you know.

How can you not?

They're the best guys.

and uh just he just he didn't have a pitch beyond him and four other dogs that represent his real life friends kind of have hanging out and having adventures and then at one point they went like oh well they're like they're like that's good but it needs a point it needs like something to stick you know and then they're like oh what if he was gonna get fixed the next day and then they're like okay great but also Right around 2010 or so, like adult R-rated comedy just evaporated and stopped existing.

Like there was nothing and no one was interested.

And that continued to be the case for a really long time.

And then basically it was around like COVID where like that started to like change again or so, but no one was hiring and no other, no one, no one else was working on

that stuff.

And, you know, R-rated things are always like really, really like rare for studios because they're just like, nobody's going to see this.

It makes no money.

What's the point?

Then you go on top of that 2D, hand animated, not 3D.

What are you, crazy?

Right?

He's like, I don't think I could get the chunks the right viscosity in 3D.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so, you know, TV has always been TV, but in terms of film,

yeah, Simpsons and Family Guy and

South Park have always been there.

But in terms of getting movies made, like, it was just, it was a huge obstacle that nobody was interested in.

When they eventually did get it done, he's like, they ran it by and they did four large test audience screenings.

And at each one of the screenings, the audience was howling.

It was every big laugh was happening.

It was humongous.

Everyone was dying in their seats.

And then afterwards, under your seat, you grab an iPad and you fill out how you felt about the movie.

And

on the test screenings, they tested like shit.

They tested horribly because everyone was laughing, but was also disgusted and horrified.

And it was

this is my mom and The Simpsons.

My mom hated my dad and me watching the simpsons she'd be like oh it's so crass and rude and disgusting and we'd be like it's the it's the simpsons what are you talking about and then every time she would walk by and see it and stare at it for 10 seconds a gag would get her and she'd laugh go

oh no no no right yeah so the idea being like yeah it's you you're the person like everyone they're laughing and then after the fact there's just there's that there's some people that are probably just like feeling that shame at it or whatever.

But as someone who likes raunchy comedy, you know, I'm down for raunchy comedy.

But the test screenings all went horribly because it was just also too disgusting.

You know?

And so you can laugh at a movie because some scenes are like that, but other scenes, you're losing people.

And when I was like, there were at least, yeah, there's two, three parts where I was like, all right, we get it.

I'm looking away.

Like, I'm legit looking away now, you know?

And

I think that's kind of what the struggle was.

Eventually, you know, Netflix is like super down for it.

And they're like, yeah, fuck it, throw it up there.

And so that's getting made now and it's done.

But this is what you got to know going into it, you know?

And I think the reviews as well, like, yeah,

you're going to see once it comes out or so, you're going to see it's going to probably be very high, but also extremely divisive, right?

It sounds like a good kind of movie to see with like a milkshake and like chocolate raisins.

Mm-hmm.

Or a specifically.

Or a melty O'Henry bar?

I don't like the melty.

They're like a mess in the best of times.

Well, in any case,

yeah.

There is a very clear, like, you know, kind of like a good movie can still have a dog dying in it, and that that always tests poorly.

Yes.

You know how that's a universal thing that just doesn't go well?

Hey, I'd say that that's not even true.

I'd say that your movie can't be good if a dog dies in it.

Bad movie.

Oh.

Oh.

Immoral, even.

Oh.

Interesting.

Dogs are good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So if a gag in this movie happens where

I don't know.

Would that 180 this conversation suddenly?

Oh, absolutely.

100%.

Oh, then I...

Well, then I guess we have to.

Because it makes me feel sad.

I don't want to feel sad.

And if I feel sad watching a movie, bad movie.

Well, then I guess you're going to have to 180 your stance.

Darn.

Because it is.

No, no, no, no.

It is a quick gag, but there is absolutely dog death in this movie, and it's brutal.

It's brutal.

There is also squirrel death you could see in the trailer.

Ah, squirrels have no souls.

That's very brutal as well.

So, you know,

yeah.

Guess what?

The old adage that dog dying on a film is like horrible for test scores continues to be true.

In this case, 100%.

You know?

So yeah, fixed is coming out.

You can, in 10 days or in less than, no, in about a week, you can check it out on Netflix and see for yourself but like this is the deal there's going to be a line drawn in the sand between you know the folks who are able to handle the scat humor and those that can't per se and the rest of it you know the in like like animal sex in particular is like you can it's it there's a lot of cases where it's like okay you can imply you can zoom out but then some parts where you go all in on it there's like a oh my god okay you know um austin powers had the and then like poop bits happen in in comedies from time to time as well like the austin powers mug is implied and that allowed the censorship rules to change forever, et cetera.

But this is just what it is.

Just like, know you're going in and know that's going to be a part of it.

And if you're going to get your laughs regardless, then, yeah, it'll be great.

You'll have a good time.

Because I enjoyed it and thought it was a very funny movie, but I have to put this the biggest disclaimer heads up in advance of this.

And let me ask you, Gandhi's milk.

Do you think that this is the kind of thing that if you had not seen it in the theater,

you wouldn't have felt as much social pressure to not vomit.

If I watched if you watched it at home, you would have been like, fuck it, I'm going to barf.

If I watched it at home, no, I probably would have reacted the same way.

I would have been like, yeah, we get it, man.

We get it.

We get it.

Okay.

Next, right?

And I would have been like, oh, God.

Like, yeah, no, I think I can see myself reacting pretty much the same way.

If you're with a group of friends that are like super down with the fucked up, then, you know, they'll probably encourage that shit.

If you're with your mom and dad having family movie night,

and you got the kids nestled up, then maybe not.

You can't be the first person to barf.

Right?

That's just embarrassing.

You want to hold on to at least like number two or three and have it hit with the chain reaction.

At the end of the day,

it's animated, so there is a limit to the amount of damage it can do,

right?

Versus like the real thing.

The real thing is always way worse.

But here's another example.

Jackass 3.

Hilarious movie.

Absolutely.

Fuck that train scene.

Fuck.

There's a train volcano scene that is just the worst thing.

Oh, really?

I think the same one as you with the poop.

Yeah, the diarrhea.

The diarrhea ass, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

Not a fan.

Not a fan.

Funny movie.

Fuck that thing.

I hate that.

That sucks.

So,

yeah.

Shit volcano was not a good time.

And that can simultaneously exist in a movie that I find funny.

Seems like other people

are in agreement there.

Like, yes, okay.

Right.

So that's it.

That's fixed.

And

I'd say that's probably like the apt comparison point where you're like, big laughs, but boy, do they come at a cost.

So yeah, anyway, that's about it.

The only other thing I wanted to let people know is that this month and this month only, you can get the woolly plush.

Well, wolves in the lab is up for order now on makeshift.

And

I'm

going to have have to remind folks that it's going to be over at the end of August 30th.

It's going to be done.

So you can orally order it this month.

And in the future, when you're like, how do I get one?

You probably can't.

So grab it.

Grab it now while you can.

Should I have put a plug

in

the big old boxing match?

Yeah, I probably should have.

That would have been smart.

Yeah, that

would be a wildly appropriate thing.

Yeah, especially given it was right before the day before.

But you know what?

I'm a dumbass.

So

this is what you get.

You're busy.

This is what you get.

Yeah.

But if you want to get one, get one now because you will not be able to get one later.

Unless it does crazy well and they go, hey, let's bring it back.

But as far as my understanding, this is a one-time shot

with a threshold of really high sales for being like, we can do another if you want, but we'll have to see.

All right.

Do you want to do some sponsors?

Or do you want to switch over to Pad Time?

Let's do some sponsors.

Alright, can I pee first?

Let's pee.

Yeah.

Piss.

Not as nasty as poo.

Hold it.

Piss can be much nastier than poo.

Because piss can be hidden much more effectively.

Hmm.

No.

Like, like you walking somewhere.

Is that a log of shit?

And you're like, whoa, that's brutal, right?

But there could be items that are, like, secretly pissed on.

No, it's just, it's old and vague.

But I won't feel anywhere close to the level of revulsion that I would feel with number two.

Like, one is just always not going to do as much damage as number two.

Universally, under any circumstances.

What about this?

What about this?

You can avoid shit a lot more easily if it's being like thrown at you or attacked on you.

But piss, it's hard to dodge piss.

Yeah, And I would.

When piss is coming at you, it's going to get you.

But the desperation to avoid it is not nearly as high.

Oh, I don't know.

I don't want piss.

No, I don't want it either.

I'm going to be very desperate in all scenarios.

But yes, but it's just.

Like, there are people that are not listening to this episode anymore because we started talking about poop.

Oh, I would like to point out, I wasn't going to blow her up quite as hard, but like my wife has like barfed twice listening to this episode so far.

So that's that's what like like people are tuning out because of this conversation like you're you're you're standing here being like nah it's no big deal and i'm like dude everyone hates it it's the worst you're nuts don't don't get it twisted i hate this also but i hate lots of things and i have to do them okay well this is this is this is about the poop that you don't have to do like sometimes your dog has like a turd and like there's too much of like hair in the turd yeah

yeah

pull it out and then his whole ass and being yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so, being responsible means you chose this path, and therefore, you got to do that to be a good, you know, dog owner and to be a good parent, and so on.

Sure, but for all the stuff that you don't have to do, that you have no responsibility to, for all the ones that are just out there in the wild that you have no responsibility over, fuck that shit.

All right, let's.

I bet I could run faster from a guy pooping than a guy pissing.

The neuron activation.

No, I bet he could run faster if he was just pissing than if he was pooping.

I mean, it's just

like

you can't.

You just can't get there.

You just can't get there.

I don't know.

It's just

yeah.

I don't know what to tell you.

It's just like,

well, I'm going to go piss in a toilet where you're supposed to.

A threat to no one.

Let's take a quick break.

BRB.

You know?

I just thought.

Yeah,

what did you think of

two sponsors?

Because I can tell this is a pre-sponsor thought.

I can tell it's a pre-sponsor thought.

I have a name for you.

And that name is Jim Norton.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, no thanks.

No, there's a difference there.

And he made his, he made a career.

He made a career on the fact that he was able to take it further beyond the limits of where anyone is willing to go with that shit, right?

No.

The fact that, like,

people are like, yo, if you're being a fuck, a filthy degenerate and you take it to number one,

People are people are gross, but like, can follow you there.

But with the two level two is like, well, that's why you're, that's what your career is based on.

His career is from the fact that everyone's like, you, you're down with what?

Here's the thing.

I'm not down with anything.

I, like, I have, I, like, people who watch my show often actually know I'm actually down with almost nothing.

What I have is just a really high threshold for tolerance.

Because in that whole discussion, that whole discussion, none of that is the grossest thing that I've ever had to deal with.

I used to have to sort bottles that were given in by homeless guys in the bottom of the grocery store for like entire work shifts.

That

is an order of magnitude grosser than anything we have talked about today.

Like

that is that is so

much worse

than anything we have talked about today.

It is so disgusting.

And I would do that like nine to five for like a week.

So after

drinking bottles,

40s and beer bottles that would be found,

acquired,

brought in

to

give in, not washed out.

Okay.

So when you're stacking

thousands and thousands and thousands of filthy beer bottles,

you hope

that that's old beer

you're smelling.

You pray that that's old beer.

Yeah, I think

I think like

just the gag reactions are just placed in different locations for you.

Like they exist, but they come from different places.

You know, they're distributed

a little bit differently, you know?

But

I say, Jim Norton to say that someone in the chat says, you hope it's Piss, even.

You hope.

Yeah, you hope.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dear God, please.

Oh, no, it's Jenkim.

Well, then, well, no, then you, then you fuck up and drop one and cut yourself, and then you get to enjoy this mental process.

Sure.

Nightmare.

Nightmare.

Nightmare.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, so that's, that's it.

That's it.

But like, like, that, that is a career built on the fact that most people cannot deal

with this discussion.

That's his entire fucking...

These Gen Zs don't know how to deal with piss anymore.

Back in my day.

I mean, that's from the fucking Aussie generation forward, really, you know.

But

I don't know.

Gig Allen, some something.

I wish Gigi Allen was still performing.

But Gigi Allen is a...

Gigi Allen is a wild and funny like anecdote because it is just a story and it is just words coming from our mouths into a microphone and not actually in the room happening to you.

Like as long as this is a fable and also he is no longer alive and cannot hurt you, then we're then we can laugh about Gigi Allen all we want.

Only grows with the fact that he's a dead guy.

Oh man,

would that stop being funny the second he was standing behind you?

Now?

Oh, that'd be hilarious, dude.

I guess you can't poop with bones, but.

Um.

Hey, how's the weather?

Weather's fucking great, dude.

It's awesome.

Nice.

Weather's great out here every day.

Cool.

Weather's all right over here too, getting a little hot.

Let's take a quick word from our sponsors.

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I love you.

How's it going?

Bro, I had a huge week.

I had a lot going on.

August is gonna be a fucking big month for me going forward.

Yeah, lots of birthdays.

Yeah,

lots of birthdays.

So today

is my darling, wonderful wife's 29th birthday yet again.

29 years young.

Congratulations, Paige.

Happy birthday.

It's been 29 for an unknown number of years.

Happy birthday, Paige.

Love you, darling.

Birthday stuff is one of the reasons that we are moving today's show slightly over.

I noted that you have not yet.

You're still doing good because the mistake is when you start saying 29 years young, that's when it's over that's

oh that's that's that's that's when it's over right that's that's even worse than than the real van

yeah no no all right also i now have a two-year-old

um

which is crazy

because and i've described this on on on stream um it's weird that my son is two years old because he just got here six months ago uh-huh uh-huh and it was weird when he was one years old because he got here six months ago.

Uh-huh.

Yes.

Like, no matter how old he is, he feels like he's only been here for six months.

It's fucking weird.

It's super fucking weird.

Yep.

It's the 2000s.

They were just yesterday.

I hear those twos can get pretty terrible.

Oh, he's an angel.

He's I mean you hung out with him.

He was an angel then and he's an angel now.

Yeah.

No tantrums no problems His language development is rock solid when I take take him out for his morning walk

to the park, I set him up into the stroller, and what does he do?

He looks over and goes, bye-bye, caboose.

Bye-bye, Catmo.

Oh.

Every morning, total angel.

The best child ever.

Let's see what new language he learns and, you know, whether too bad.

Oh, he's full on repeat mode.

We got to, we're locked in.

We're locked in down right now.

Too bad and

hug rejection.

Yeah, no, no, no, no.

We're up to

what's the newest one.

We're up to like six, seven

word sentences now.

Like, oh, we can't go to the park because it's dark.

And he'll go, oh, sun go down, moon go up.

Big night time.

It's like, yeah, let's go to the park because it's big night time.

Let's go.

Hell yeah.

Is Pat capable of not swearing?

No.

I'm I'm trying to just phase out.

I'm just trying to phase it out.

It's tough.

He's a genius, and he's the handsomest child of all the other competing children in my neighborhood.

And it sucks for those other parents.

Competing.

Oh, yeah, no.

My child is better.

Just give it a give it literally a couple of weeks, and you'll be like, wow, every other baby in this maturity ward, shit.

Stupid.

Unemployed.

Just literally give it a couple of of weeks.

Would step over them if they were on fire.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, 100%.

Oh, you're going to feel it.

It's going to be super intense.

And then the part of your brain that's going, that's not real.

And you're going to be like, shut up, that part of my brain.

I don't love you anymore.

I love that.

This front part?

Fuck that.

I want this back part of my brain.

Oh,

friend.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

That's where all the bad stuff comes from.

Nah, that's where all that good animal brain shit comes from.

Hell yeah.

That's where the boomer lead retreats to.

No,

it's too late.

So

we had a big day.

We had a combination birthday, like a big outing for Paige and the little man.

So what we did is

we got Auntie, or the boys babysitter, who we're friends with, right?

She has,

her grandkids live in Victoria, which is the capital of BC.

It's on Vancouver Island, right?

So, what we did, so we got everybody into the car.

We took a day trip down to the Victoria, right?

And the primary reason for that is that we caught the last show of this.

Oh, Book of Mormon Live.

I'm

a Book of Mormon standee.

Hell yeah.

Paige wanted to see live theater, and she's like, hey, bitch, you're going to see live theater for the first time, she said to me.

You didn't catch it when they came here.

I've never seen Book of Mormon.

I've never seen live theater in my life, aside from the dog shit that our Dawson English teachers mandated us to go see as part of curriculum.

Oh, okay, okay.

So I've been like, wow, live theater is trash.

And to Paige, this is offensive because she's been on the live theater.

No, no.

Okay, but wait, but we talked about the original.

Like, you saw the recording of it from years ago.

No, no.

No, I thought we talked about that.

I just listened to you talk about it.

Wow.

Okay.

There was a recording.

There was a recording of the original Broadway run that was on the internet, and it was fucking hilarious.

And then years later, it toured and then started making the rounds.

And yeah, we caught it here in the city.

I think twice.

But yeah.

How about that?

So before that,

went down to Victoria.

Beautiful city.

Really pretty city.

Like top shelf, like pretty city.

Gorgeous, walkable.

Took my little man to the Beacon Hill Children's animal farm oh in victoria okay

large scale public park filled with wandering peacocks alpacas pigs ducks goose and goats

and we took my little man to pet the piggies

and pet the alpacas and pet the goats and he petted those goats and he had a great time uh uh uh Did he see any for the first time?

Oh, this is the first time he's seen a goat.

Okay, okay, okay.

This is the first time he's seen a pig in person.

Okay, okay.

Yeah.

And he was super, super, super, super stoked about it and had a great time.

But better than that

is that, like, because who knows what the memory thing is, right?

Right?

So you go, hey, little man, like, four days later, like, hey, little man,

did you, did you, what, did you go to the park?

And he goes, yeah, you know how he does.

And go, what did you do at the park two, three days ago?

Right?

And he goes, pet, pig, pet, goat.

I'm like, okay, memory.

Yep.

Like, it wasn't a transitional

good time.

Like, memory loaded in.

of petting the goats.

And you got the photos

and the memory to like reinforce in the the future as well because because that's the thing is like like it's in there, right?

But so for me, like some of my earliest memories I have are like

Disney at five because everything I have before that was just people describing things to me.

And you start thinking

you start thinking about what they described more than what you actually lived through.

So like having that stuff to reinforce it is really crucial and important.

And also, I'm really thrilled because my first experience with goats and animals as a child that were not dogs or cats were all universally horrible nightmares.

Oh, Gramby?

So, like, my parents brought me to Park Safari when I was three.

Ah, Park Safari.

And then they put me in the goat enclosure and said, go pet the goats.

But they didn't go in with me.

And so then the goats started to eat my jacket.

And I started to lose my fucking mind because the goats were eating my clothes off my body.

The fucking irresponsibility.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, in you go.

You'll figure it out.

And then back when SeaWorld was a thing, and I went to SeaWorld when I was like four or five, and my dad was like,

hey, Pat, why don't you go feed the deers?

So what he did was he took a handful of deer food and gave it to five-year-old Pat, the smallest child you've ever seen, and sent me off by myself to feed the deers that towered over me.

So what happened?

This massive batch of baby deers just knocked Tiny Pat over and were like, give me the treats.

So I had to like grab me.

So these were not good situations.

That sucks.

You were set up to fail.

Hold on.

Did you mean Marineland?

Absolutely.

These were massive parental mistakes.

Did you mean Marineland?

Yeah, it was Marineland.

Yeah, Niagara Falls.

The Canadian nightmare.

Yeah, okay, okay.

All right.

Horrible.

Me and Paige bring the little man into the goat enclosure, and dad crouches down, goes, pet, pet, pet the goat.

And my good little guy goes, pet, pet, pet.

And he petted the goat.

And the goat got near him.

And he was like, I'm cool with the goat.

And he petted it.

And he was chill.

And it was like a good time.

Didn't fuck it up.

The fear of fucking it up is so intense.

You got the one shot for the first time.

No, you should be afraid of deer.

You you like based on what you just

you should what you just described should be a one and done I'm out experience also not big on goats in general, like because of I can remember being afraid that they're gonna eat my clothes, but it's like a core formative memory.

You had fun in Nara,

yeah, but Nara deer are more polite than Western deer.

They are Japanese deer are more polite,

they understand they understand the common creative social norms, they do, they really believe in the collective good, you know.

They care about society and order,

um,

just less selfish, you know.

So then we

hung out with the boy, did Beacon Hill, petted the animals, saw a bunch of peacocks.

It's just peacocks all over that place.

That's the weirdest part.

Like free-roaming peacocks throughout the whole park.

Then we went down to a place called Quasars in Victoria, which is a basement arcade.

Okay.

And

Quasars is very cool, very classic style, old style arcade.

It has the only House of the Dead 2 cabinet I've encountered in decades that the guns have the sights on correct and the elastics aren't busted to shit.

Okay.

Like, I got there and I walked, there's a House of the Dead 2 machine.

I'm like, okay, let's see how broken this one is.

And I put a token in and shot it, and it went where it was supposed to, and the elastic on the guns worked fine.

Yeah.

And I went over to the guy that was clearly stoned running the fucking thing.

I'm like, I can't believe the elastic isn't busted on this fucking thing.

And he goes, yeah, I know, man.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

Keeping it in good condition is also an extreme rarity.

Shout outs to Cidercade in Texas.

That's really, really cool.

Okay.

So those guns were made to last.

Now they're over 20 years old.

So there's a thing that's been popping up around recently, which is like, because all arcades died and atrophied, right?

In this area.

The only things existing were the machines that were inside the movie theater, right?

Everything else, fuck you.

um but something that's been popping up recently has been claw machine um zones well that's just gambling has that i don't know if you've been getting like japanese style claw machine like rooms

okay they're a big trend popping up over here and i walked into one with a couple friends before and i was like oh yeah this is okay it's a kind of it's doing the japanese style thing but the feeling of the lights and the music and everything going and you have all those little machines but then there's some kid arcade machines to like and little things to write on and i was like oh fuck you know what Actually, I'm glad these are here because if they weren't, there would be no experience of walking into an arcade feeling as a kid for her when she gets here.

All right.

If this is the only way to get that feeling of, whoa, the lights and all the fucking bells and whistles.

I think you might have overshot the target on this.

Anybody watching this live can see that there is a functional,

brightly lit, colorful arcade in your background

like yeah

but think you're fine she's not gonna be up here for a while

you know

but like we'll get there she might be sick of it at that point to be perfectly honest that's the danger that i'm constantly like mitigating myself to not be like

check this out yeah but the feeling i i the feeling of walking into the rows of games and fun stuff like that those places were just dead here.

And now that they exist, I'm like, you know what?

I don't really care for claw machines, but at least it gives something possible for her to experience that.

So that's super cool.

And

what did he run to?

Oh, the little man?

Oh, he had split off from us to go hang out with Auntie and the other grandkids

out on the town by ourselves.

Oh, okay, okay.

House of the Dead was for you.

Yeah, it was just for us.

Yes, okay, okay.

No, no, we wouldn't have brought the little man to an arcade at two.

It's way too loud, way too, way too

fast.

Fair, fair.

So then we went,

just a very minor side note.

Then we went to a Japanese restaurant that I can't remember, in which me and Paige, once we ordered, were like, oh my God, that old lady who took our order fucking hates us.

Holy shit.

What happened?

She hates us.

No, she just like she looked at us.

And I could just feel

how mad she was to be serving anyone in her restaurant.

Ah, so that means the food was incredible, right?

It was incredible.

Yeah.

It was fantastic.

Yeah.

It was absolutely stellar.

Let's go.

I was like live posting it while it was happening.

I was like, in a restaurant, I think everyone here hates us.

Correct.

The food is fire.

It's incredible.

The more they hate you being there, the better it's going to taste.

Love it.

Fucking contempt is the best spice.

I had to ask her a couple times about what kind of noodles I wanted with my soup, and she was just like fucking trying not to roll her eyes and just

yep.

Nothing tastes better than malice on your on your dinner.

So then we went down to the Royal Vic Theater where we could see the Book of Mormon.

And a miracle happened.

We got good seats.

Yeah.

Center middle row.

So like maybe eight rows from the back

on the main floor.

Packed house.

The two people who had seats in front of us never showed up.

Whoa,

that's fucking lucky.

Just the absolute most peak viewing experience.

Holy shit.

Damn.

And I tried to point it out, and Paige was like, shut up.

Shut up.

Don't ruin it.

Don't ruin it.

The best man in the world.

Yeah, that's great.

Especially for that one.

So I,

as I said earlier, have never seen live theater, ever.

And I've also been one of those guys, eight rows from the stage.

I don't know what I said that's different, but I was not from the back.

No, eight rows from the stage.

So, like, near the front.

Yeah.

We were close to the front.

And I'm one of those people that goes, explain why this is good.

And then people have a trouble explaining it.

And I go, that sounds like shit.

It must be bad and you must be stupid.

Which is a very difficult personality type to actually engage.

Hard cut to Hasadiga Ibawai.

So I think that might have been one of my least favorite.

Yeah.

Maggots in my scrotum didn't get you?

It's pretty good.

Like

All-American Prophet is probably our favorite.

Oh, man.

It's such bangers.

It's so good.

What's interesting to me, because I don't have a whole lot of experience with Mormons.

I have one experience in which I scared the Mormons

in my neighborhood away from my house

because they kept showing up

over and over.

And Paige would handle it.

And Paige was too nice to be like,

fuck off.

She'd always defer.

She'd always be like, oh, I'm really busy right now.

You see,

but

without being harsh enough, you leave the polite window for revisiting.

So

I got,

you know, at some point she saw them out the window and she's like, Pat, fine.

That's that, that's the scenario I live with in my life where eventually someone goes, Pat, oh, I remember this.

I remember this.

You stepped in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

With my favorite like shutdown ever, where I opened the door and they got two words in, and I just said, yeah, I don't care about any of that shit.

Yes, right, right, right, yeah.

And they just had no idea how to play off that.

You see, like, this was where

one of my early encounters was when I was still in the church.

So, I took it as an opportunity to debate, which they were at first like, ooh, we got one.

And then, and then they're like, no.

Yeah, and then cut to the clock, and then cut to like, what the fuck are we doing?

Why are we,

you did a public service because you cut down on the amount of visits that they can make it to other houses.

There you go.

Yep.

But so, to their credit,

despite coming to my house a lot, they were always very nice and very polite.

Of course, very kind, right?

Well,

so

Book of Mormon is an incredible fucking musical, absolutely stellar, hilarious, had a big old grin on the whole time, sitting on the edge of my seat,

audibly gasped at a significant number of plot points, and just like, oh, God, no, to use the best use,

most intense use of white face I have seen to date.

Do you remember, like, was there a point where it just got you like sniper headshot?

Do you think, like, there's a point where I remember just absolutely losing it?

Uh, it was the big step forward and inhale, and white boy going,

I am Africa.

That's pretty light

for my audience.

It's like nuclear.

For my audience, it was

turn it off.

Yeah, yeah, like a light.

Switch, shut it down.

Take those gay thoughts, put them into a box, and crush it.

And just like had to put the song on hold for about 10 seconds because the audience couldn't hear them.

Turn it off.

Like a light.

Switch.

Shut it down.

Yeah, wonderful experience.

Fantastic.

Of note, the cast we saw,

the gentleman playing Elder Cunningham.

Let me see if I can get his name.

That's not the main guy, right?

I forgot the name.

Main guy.

Okay, main guy, yeah.

Let's see.

Named Diego Enrico

was incredible.

Fantastic.

Just as good as would you expect that of Josh Gadd or any of the others?

It's his first

role.

Whoa.

This is straight.

He has no credits.

This is his first credit.

Oh,

okay.

So that's Diego Enrico.

The touring cast.

Follow him on Instagram, and he's got nothing on his Instagram because he's brand new.

That's crazy.

Because I know that, like, as soon as something goes off Broadway into like the tour, you know, it's a bit like the

Final Fantasy concerts or things like that, where they start getting a touring group to like, you know, people that are willing to, like, yeah, and so they have to get the cast different.

You're never going to see the original cast members, of course, that were there.

Usually at that point, they're often famous.

And depending on where the tour is happening, what country and such, you're getting a completely different cast.

But, you know, you would hope that, like, yeah, stringent rules for like, okay, if you're able to fucking get cast here, you're perfect for the role.

So that's, that's awesome.

That's really cool.

First time, uh, yeah, no, uh, very few notes.

Uh, absolutely, uh, incredible experience, fantastic musical.

This, uh, this was a thing for Paige's birthday, which is also uh one of those like segues.

And now she's like, Well, now we gotta go see more live theater because you know, you know, it's good, you can't,

so that's the thing, and like, I'm like, okay, there's a lot of like, not every live theater show is gonna be like this targeted to like our sense of humor, admittedly, but obviously this is fucking

South Park guys, you know.

What sucks is the other one was Avenue Q but like that never toured or got as famous as this did and that was basically Sesame Street but R-rated you know you know it's been a really funny process

me talking to Paige about talking to you about this on the podcast and Paige is like I bet any amount of money that Wooly has not seen the Book of Mormon and I would go

as I knew you had already seen it and was just holding on to that like three times

no that's hilarious no I have that's the problem is I have not seen Avenue Q like

I want to.

I've heard the music.

I listened to the soundtrack of it, you know, but I haven't seen the actual show.

So, yeah, listening to the soundtrack on the way home, right?

Really, really put into practice, like, wow, how different it is to listen to the album of a musical than it is to see a musical perform.

Like, really, really genuinely impressive.

I do have one thing.

I have one

tiny little complaint about everyone I've ever spoken to, including Paige, about the sell of live theater.

And I think it's a respectability problem.

Every single conversation I have ever had about live theater, they go, but it's different.

It's different when you're there and it's live.

And they're talking about that genes qua, right?

That that that that live energy, that yeah in your face production.

Yeah.

Right.

And I go, oh, like a wrestling show.

And everyone goes,

oh, fuck off.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And it's like, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It is exactly the same.

It is exactly like a wrestling show.

It is exactly like live comedy.

It is an audience with a room where the laughs are bouncing off the walls and you're there with it.

It's crowd energy plus sublimation and the loss of body.

So you like, I felt myself

rise up.

And so I was like kind of looking down on the cast in the moment.

That's my body.

Combined with a live switch.

Exactly the same.

Combined with live music.

Turn it off like a light switch is the same as Undertaker getting up again.

Yes.

Combined with live music.

And like the enjoyment, especially when the songs are good.

I wish it was different, Paige.

Wait, I can't argue with her.

It's her birthday.

Of course you did.

I'm definitely mistaken, sweetheart.

So, yes, it's 100% that.

The crowd energy, the room, the live concert, all of that is real.

It's a tangible fucking enhancer of

these events.

Yeah.

I will say, though, one thing, and this is a social consideration, intermissions,

20 minutes.

I got up to stretch my legs and saw the bathroom line and was like, every single one of you is fucking kidding yourselves.

I watched like a good 200 people lose their minds thinking they were going to be able to piss during this 20-minute intermission.

I couldn't believe it.

Like, you know, when you're walking down a line and you hit like guy number 100 in the line

and then you see the hundred guys after him?

So.

Have you all lost your fucking minds?

Oftentimes,

it's girl 100.

Oh, yeah, no, no, no.

No, women should carry a bottle.

It's rough going.

But so now that you have been converted and shown the light, then,

when's Spider-Man turn off the dark?

We were talking about that a lot, actually.

Haynes was like, man, I wish I had seen that shit before it killed all those people.

Including fucking audience members that might fall on you, you know?

Yeah.

If you're down, if you're willing to risk a Spider-Man actor falling on top of you.

Yeah, dude.

I would risk that.

I don't care.

Damn.

You probably get a sick-ass settlement if you lose an arm at the Spider-Man show.

That'd be hot.

Yeah, dude.

That's Workman's comp forever.

Because Spider-Man.

So our birthday extravaganza was excellent.

Everything went great.

The baby got a bunch of cool goat-based memories.

I got to see live theater.

Paige got to feel like the smuggest bitch in the world because she was right about live theater.

Something we've been back and forthing on like our entire relationship.

But here's another thing, and this might be a dampener.

So I don't know.

It might be.

I know exactly what you're going to say.

Book of Mormon is like the best live thing I've ever seen.

I know you're going to say that.

It's like, it's actually the best.

I use that against her because I'm like, oh, I'll definitely go to more live theater with you as long as you can handle after every single one.

I wasn't as good as Book of Mormon.

It really is all downhill from here.

Like, I'm sorry to say, you're never going to hit that.

It's like one of those phenomenal.

In in the same conversation of Book of Mormon.

I'm like, so

unfortunately, to all people who don't exist in the time and place,

the loudest, most pop-off event I've ever seen in my life was

the first show

of the first day of the first week of South Park the movie in a Canadian theater in Canada.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like the earliest a human being could have ever heard Blame Canada with like with a batch of hundreds of 14-year-olds.

Like, oh my God, dude.

Us getting the spotlight in the South Park movie was kind of wild.

Oh, it was the sickest shit.

I couldn't believe how much attention we were getting paid.

Oh, I loved it.

It's me.

Blame me.

So that went great.

I also played a couple video games.

I beat DK Bonanza.

Okay.

DK Bonanza is uniformly excellent, top-to-bottom, absolutely amazing top-shelf Nintendo game.

Banana scraping?

No.

Okay.

No,

I got like anything that was in my way.

I got it.

And there's a lot in your way.

Like, I ended the game with full half of all bananas.

Okay.

Like, like, 500 out of 1,000 bananas.

Fucking great game.

Weird difficulty curve where it's a joke.

Like it's a joke until the 99% mark and then it gets really hard.

Oh, yeah.

Like the very, very last level all of a sudden gets super hard.

Is it Nintendo hard?

It's really weird.

Where it's like, it's hard, but the penalty for failure is just a couple seconds lost.

No, you start to die and have to have like a boss run, like a Dark Souls game.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Okay.

However,

I will say,

do you remember me making fun

of Nintendo fans because everyone was going crazy about spots?

You know what?

We're going to just.

Okay.

Now, for those of you who are like, oh, like a Kirby game.

No, no, no.

Kirby gets hard after you beat the boss.

Right?

It begins once you hit first credits.

What's going on?

I was making fun of Nintendo people because all of a sudden, everyone's like, oh, my God,

Donkey Kong has so much going on.

It's so crazy.

There's so many spoilers about it.

You got to have a shh,

shh, right?

You remember that attitude?

And I was like,

you people all sound insane.

This is fucking Donkey Kong.

It's going to be like a guy shows up and goes, I'm going to eat the bananas.

And Donkey Kong's going to go, no, my banana.

And it's a fucking, it's a fucking Donkey Kong.

Shut up.

And then I was reached out and I was like, no, man, it's actually, it's really good.

You should be careful.

You shouldn't.

Right.

Yeah, I'm going to go back on what I said earlier.

Donkey Kong game.

Yeah.

The Nintendo people are insane

and don't know what spoilers are.

Like,

we're not even talking a twist here.

It's totally ridiculous.

You're going to go back.

You said you're going to go back on what you said.

Yeah, I'm going to go back to my original state.

To what you said, not back to that.

Yeah, you guys sound like insane people.

Okay.

You sound like Disney adults.

You sound like, I don't know if you'll remember this.

This is so ancient.

You all sound like that guy crashing out on that NeoGAF tropical freeze thread that had Ramby the Rhino in the title, going, You motherfuckers, I can't believe you ruined the surprise that Ramby the Rhino was there.

Insane.

Okay.

Just, just ridiculous.

Okay.

What a great game.

What an incredible game.

And

my YouTube comments are dog shit right now because

I got to the end of that game story and went, huh, cool.

And no more.

And you should have emoted it.

And I didn't pop off hard enough.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh, no, don't do that.

But yeah, no, absolutely.

Excellent.

Fantastic final gauntlet, like final set of challenges.

Though I think that

it could have curved up a little more smoothly.

It goes from my baby could beat this section to

took me like an hour and a half to get like the last three bananas.

Okay.

Is there a post-credit challenge?

And you know, absolutely.

There's a large-scale post-credit challenge.

Yeah, there we go.

That's what I expect to step up all these things.

Super difficult levels that you need increasing amounts of total bananas to unlock.

Okay.

Yeah.

So like the very first challenge is like, well, you can attempt it at 300 bananas.

I'm like, well, I have 500, so I could try it.

But like, and it'll escalate from like the Mario Galaxy, like, Black Stars, or whatever they were.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Great game.

Nintendo people are insane.

They are the Disney adults of video games.

It's cringe.

Stop it.

It's a cartoon monkey that eats bananas.

That is all to be said.

Incredible game.

Absolutely fantastic.

Probably my number two this year after Expedition 33.

Okay.

I'm glad to hear that order maintained, actually, because

there's been some speak of that being upset or something.

You might win over it because

people.

I'm going to hold all the thoughts that I was about to say.

Okay, okay, okay, that's fine.

That's fine.

You might win because people have shittier tastes than me.

Okay.

I do also remember in terms of like whatever lore things and stuff, it's like, you know, there is that feeling of like when something, like, nothing, in a series of like childhood property where nothing ever happens, the decision to suddenly make something happen is always like, oh, wait, are you actually doing something?

If something happened, but that, but then, and I remember

wild if something happened.

And so, when I was thinking of Mario Odyssey, and I was like, oh, wait, are you going to do it?

And then they're like, nah.

It was kind of like that.

And I was like, why?

Come on.

Just make something happen.

And they're like, no.

No.

It needs to live forever.

And things can't happen.

Otherwise, if things happen, then it won't be forever.

And you kind of describe my exact thought process here.

Yeah.

Moving on from Donkey Kong, great game.

I'm going to go back to it every now and then when I feel like hearing old banana and just scrape it up, but I'm definitely not going to go for completion.

Late last night, I was like, fuck it.

It's really late.

Everyone in my house is asleep.

I'm just going to play Fear and Hunger 2 on stream.

Fuck it.

Okay.

So I'm well aware that you, my friend, are a fungerite or whatever y'all call yourselves.

I have fungered.

But I've got that funger on.

But I've

funger one.

I didn't funger two.

Which I hear is way better and

improves on all the bullshit.

I played Funger 2 enough to be like, I'm going to try out Funger 1, and then played Funger One for a half hour at 1:30 in the morning by myself and was like,

Fuck this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not going back to this.

Holy shit, but you tried.

You know what?

As long as you tried, that's it.

So you see the difference.

So the issue with Funger One over two is like

movement and item use and hunger meter

uh no no i'm talking like control basic basic like

moving through menus walking around

um

like is incomparably worse in the first game like that weird stutter step

that the the environment does when you move in funger one is terrible yep it it feels like that rpg maker ass basic style

beginner's experimental project, you know, student project.

In that half hour of Funger One, did you get got?

Oh, yeah, I got caught a couple times.

I discovered that I shouldn't fight anything.

Ah, yes.

That's what I discovered.

Were you

sodomized then?

No, no.

I played Funger 2 on

the stream, and just to be sure,

I added the censorship mod by some Raccoon Man.

Though, Funger 2 has

an official Twitch category.

Yeah.

And censoring it is not required.

But I was like, ah, whatever.

Because boy, is Funger 1 edgy.

Yeah, it seemed I'll only cover up like two or three enemies like Dick and Balls.

Okay.

Though I did have a fun time where playing Funger 2, every time I boot it, I get like an error from RPG Maker that doesn't make any sense.

Classic.

And when someone killed me, the game crashed super hard and the command line came up.

This is like a brand new install off Steam.

I don't know what the fuck is going on.

As it should be.

No,

I mean,

I feel...

So the further you go into Funger 1, the more you feel the kid in...

grade 11 or 12 just impressing his friends by edging the fuck out, right?

And two, I believe, is like the, let's refine the ideas into an actual video game.

Yeah.

So

my understanding is besides like,

you know, the improvements mechanically and such,

the overall flow and narrative and events happening are also not so like, all right, we get it.

Yes, look at the monster with the big dong that's going to grab you and fucking, you know, get

sodomize and then you're crawling around in the dark, and then the dogs get you.

And then, also, hey, man, do you like Berserk?

So, uh, Fear and Hunger talks about

a more modern setting.

It takes place in like the 40s in Bohemia.

Um,

and uh, like very old-timey, but like still more modern.

Um, I got soft-locked on my very first try.

Uh, the tutorial monster cut off my arms and legs, and that was that, and then I couldn't move, yeah, and I had to just choose die.

Yeah,

um,

Vicious and unkind is kind of underselling it.

Like,

it is a JRPG roguelike that just demands perfection per encounter.

But it does suffer.

You were describing Horizon and how the encounters stopped being a thing because they're puzzles to solve.

This has that exact problem

where

arms.

Hit the arm.

Hit the arm right now.

Depends on what you're fighting.

Sure, but like one of the first enemies in the game is like a guy with a rifle.

I pick Marco, the punchman,

who looks like a JoJo character.

I'm like, pick the evade skill so that the monster has a dramatically less likely chance of killing me.

Okay.

And then punch his arms off.

So yeah, who you pick, what your character has, and then what you're fighting are all, you know, that you could just get the wrong thing and do the wrong thing.

But once you learn the solution, they should never be a problem again.

You know?

Yeah.

Should.

But barring crit, barring unluck, barring disaster.

And so, you know, well, you know, I fought, I got a little bit in there.

I fought some dudes.

I got infected, then I cured being infected, then I got infected again.

What difficulty?

By the way,

were there difficulty choices to there are three difficulties in Fear and Hunger 2.

Okay.

The first is the main difficulty is called Fear and Hunger, which is the middle.

Yeah.

Then there's Masochist, which is the top difficulty.

difficulty, and then there's just easier Fear and Hunger, which is the easier.

Okay, so there was one called Terror and Starvation in the.

Yeah,

in the first game, Fear and Hunger is your easy mode, and then Terror and Starvation is the second one, and so on and so forth.

In the second game, Fear and Hunger is your standard normal difficulty.

Okay, because the biggest detail that changes the whole way the game fucking feels is torches and light.

Yeah.

And I don't know if that plays at all a role in that.

It's not a factor in the second game at all.

Okay.

Okay.

That's just why the game takes place during the day.

Well, it starts during the day.

Okay.

Right.

But,

yeah,

really, really fascinating aesthetic.

Well, like, well written for a guy whose second language is clearly English.

Like a lot of minor typos,

a lot of suspicious amounts of Finnish words.

Like, if it's,

if even had I not known, I would have been able to pick this out.

I was like, oh, a Finn wrote this.

The word percole is in this fucking thing.

I mean, when you see the credits rolling for one, it's the funniest thing because there's just like it's all the different roles, but it's just like story by Miro, art by Miro, Miro did everything.

Fucking Miro, though.

Really cool game.

Feels like

it has a really genuinely excellent progression of, yes, that did one-shot me and wipe me out and fuck my shit up, but I learned a concrete piece of information that will allow me to survive that encounter next time.

Okay.

And

saving as well was like pretty normal?

You can save.

I only found a temporary save point.

Okay.

I found a book of enlightenment

that lets you save when you pick it up.

Oh, yeah, okay.

And I did that, and I picked it up when I had one HP and was bleeding to death.

So that was a really good

pickup.

Good, good, good.

And number two,

it's over three days, and each day has like three time periods.

And I believe saving pushes the time period forward.

Ah, yeah, okay, okay.

All right, so you got a good chunk of what that.

Yeah, I did about 90 minutes to two hours of it, and like

dismal failures, but the dismal failure was further along

each time.

It's got eight characters.

I think the dev said that they're going to work on making all 14 characters characters in the story playable.

Work on as in updates, as in still chicken.

What?

Oh, my God.

Wow.

I had no idea.

The characters, even from the very, very brief time that I played, are very different.

Things such as start with a gun or a boxer, which can do excellent damage with just their fists.

Or a botanist in a wheelchair who can identify all plants right off the bat?

Oh,

yeah, cool, cool.

That's great.

Super cool game.

Looking very forward to messing around with it further.

Don't know if I'm going to keep messing around with it on stream.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Well, you can see how it's like content fucking farming, right?

Oh, absolutely.

It is made for

excited to see the failure.

Run stoppers.

Yeah, and they're constant.

They're constant um

and last but not least i started my new show beelining

with xenoblade chronicles uh de

awesome intro by the way very cool

uh fucking quiet viking is the shit yeah i contacted him and it was like i want the cheapest shittiest intro you can fart out in a week and he's like got it

did

Incredible.

Failed the assignment.

Too high effort.

So, beelining is

the attempt to be a normal human being playing a video game.

Okay, so I take issue.

I take issue

with the people who have been going, oh, so you're doing what normal people do.

No.

No, no.

Because

not playing any side quests, to me,

that's not the normal thing.

So that's not it either.

That's not it either.

No.

I have to keep re-explaining this.

So here's the thing.

I did the Celeste mind goblin stream with the strawberries, if you remember, a long time ago, which I'm like, I tried to play Celeste, but I couldn't because I tried to get every single strawberry, right?

Which is impossible.

Well, it's not impossible, but it's horrible, right?

So then I did a Celeste stream.

So I'm going to get no strawberries.

That'll show Celeste.

God, yeah.

Right, right, right.

Which ended up being an even more mentally ill playthrough than the strawberry one because I was like

floating into rooms and then like dashing around

the strawberries.

Touch the strawberries in a panic.

Right, right, right.

Yes.

So

it was much more mentally ill.

The strawberry thing,

I still don't follow you on that one.

Right.

But regardless, we got here.

And in this case, we talked about it, and the idea was essentially to

not do anything that was not right in your way or go out of your way for stuff.

So I did not know this before I picked Xenoblade Chronicles, but Xenoblade Chronicles has a main quest

line on the mini-map that is a yellow line

that, like, it says go there.

Yellow dotted line that points this is the way to the next story beat.

Fucking perfect.

It is literally a B line.

That is crazy.

That's fantastic, yeah.

And

the attempt to play a game like I'm Gene Park is to be normal.

Not

all nothing and not all everything.

I am trying to force myself into the intended design.

Okay, okay, okay.

For Xenoblade Chronicles DE, which everyone put an exclamation point at the end, so everyone keeps coming in going, what the fuck is Xenoblade DEI?

It's a game filled with British people, guys.

Come on.

So

it is

like, you know, there's the main quest.

I'm going to walk towards it.

If there is an exclamation point for a side quest within 15 feet of that corridor,

I will go,

pick it up, mash through the dialogue, and go back onto the line.

And if I'm on that line and

15 feet over the left is, oh, it's right there.

Okay, do it.

It's right there.

I'll do it.

But like, you pull up the map in Xenoblade Chronicles on my save file, it's fucking hilarious because the revealed map is like a fucking corridor.

Right.

Like, Gower Planes is like one line throughout the whole thing.

Important detail: mashing through the dialogue on those pickups.

Yeah, fucking terrible.

They're so boring.

As opposed to the mainline dialogue in a moment.

Yeah, no, no, I don't do that.

Yeah, of course.

Yes.

And the other thing is that the game has like a crafting system that's like make gems to slot in.

And I walked up to the furnace and went, I'm going to use all my materials on what I think is good.

And then I did it, and then I slotted them in, and then I left.

And I never opened up my phone or argued with my chat as to, so what do I want to put on Shulk?

Do I want agility or HP?

And I'm like, oh, that seems good.

Yeah.

And I did it.

Now that is normcore, right?

Just making things

just based on the whim of what you're looking at, absolutely intended.

And picking up side quests at your leisure is what that, I mean,

it can't possibly be because of previously established lore here.

Yeah.

So I had a bunch of,

so I'm almost 40.

And despite the fact that this is like, I'm gonna, I'm no longer mentally ill.

I'm very normal.

There were many moments of like

realizations so obvious,

I sound like

I have a learning disability.

Like

getting to the boss fight

at the correct level where the boss was one level above me, one above

and fighting the boss and like dealing with the mechanics of the boss and going wow

this fight's really great when you're not 15 levels above.

Because the thing you killed just outside that made you way stronger.

Yeah.

Yes.

The other thing,

the worst one was like, I got two party members in my party during the last session.

And they joined at the level that my other characters were at.

Yeah.

When Charla joined the party,

she was level 17 and Ryan and Schulk were level 17.

And I went, wow, do they match the party to your level?

And chat went, no.

And I went, that's crazy.

There you go.

I can't believe it.

There you go.

Yeah.

And that happened again with the fourth party member at 24 and 24.

I'm like, did they match that?

Like, no.

That's what you're supposed to be.

In QA, we call that user path one.

This is the correct path, and those numbers are exactly where they're supposed to be at the end.

When I played Metaphor,

the last two people to join my party were

tens of levels below me.

Like, tens of.

Very bad.

And then I said,

I guess the revelation to my own mind that was like

obvious to everyone else who plays video games forever,

which was I beat the boss,

and then

I'm continuing on.

I'm like,

oh,

I'm supposed to

go towards the main story, and if it gets too tough,

then I'm supposed to go do the side stuff

and

get stronger for the main story.

I'm not supposed to do all the side stuff and then complain that the main story is too easy.

Oh.

Oh.

Wait, like

yes?

Because doing all the stuff always makes you too strong for the challenge?

Let me...

I know we're on a podcast, and I know that this is the worst thing that I could ever do.

But the only way I can think of making this make sense is to use a food analogy.

Okay?

So you know when you have your steak and your mashed potatoes and your corn, right?

Standard meat and potatoes meal, right?

Yes.

Well, the steak is the best part, and it's the main course.

So what you do is you eat all of your mashed potatoes and then all of your corn and then once the lesser parts are out of the way

then you start on your steak.

And that's how you eat a meal.

And this is not an analogy.

This is how I literally think.

You eat all of the sides first so that they're out of the way for when you eat your main.

You eat the meal in chronological order, in qualitative order.

Right.

Okay.

Don't let them touch.

Right, right.

So,

no?

Yeah,

I guess, right?

Right?

And I mean, if anything,

it would be indicative because if you beat all that side shit and then went back to the main stuff and you were now just above the level, that'd be one thing, but you're never just above the level.

You're always way past it.

So I played Xenoblade 1 was chosen for this sequence, for this show idea, because when I played Xenoblade 1, I spent about 100 hours getting to like the 30% mark because I did every side quest.

And what this resulted in is that when...

I would be playing Xenoblade, like in the section that I just did, right, Gower Planes,

I would be engaging in what were essentially MMO kill, get me 10 boreasses quests

for like

15 hours.

And then when I was like, well, now it's on to do the story, I would go and do the story and clown the fights so hard that the story parts that are supposed to be the good bits

would last like 25 minutes

instead of the

longer cinematic sequence of getting through the tension.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So

I was playing through the sequence.

It's called the Aethermind sequence and Xenoblade Chronicles 1.

It's very early.

And I was playing through that, and I was like, wow, I don't remember the game having this much voice acting.

Like, everything is fully voice acted.

And then I realized, oh, I didn't remember that because there were 10-hour fucking

sessions in between smoking lines of dialogue.

Now,

ill though you might be

right,

there is still blame on any time a game and its side quests are so dull, uninteresting, and repetitive that you mentally are checked out while doing them because that shit, like it sucks, but it's lazy and it's a filler, you know, and we've talked about it like last time and so on.

But like cyberpunk, I went through that in a really strange way because I was waiting for main like screen, mainstream content was premium, and then off-screen content was the extra doing all these NCPD missions.

But

if anyone were to play that way normally, it would be exhaustingly boring.

If I did that exact thing and stopped streaming Cyberpunk for the exact same reason, it would suck.

Do the story mission on stream, and then I would just do, I would spend like three days doing every cyber psycho and every

cop mission.

And by the end of that, I'd be like, I'm actually really bored of this gameplay because I'm just doing just contextless gameplay.

Yes, yeah.

You're ruining the experience.

Absolutely.

And it's like, oh, what I'm supposed to.

Oh,

for cyberpunk,

I'm supposed to do main stuff

until I see a side quest that I think is interesting,

or I can't buy an upgrade.

So I'll do some,

you know,

generic stuff, or I want to practice the deflecting thing.

But here's the thing, right?

I'm a fellow, like, fucking online streaming shitlord, and I also,

um, I know you, so let me steel man you here, right?

Oh, hey, that's kind of you.

When you are choosing at a whim, which random townsfolk to help and not help,

and or which thing dungeons to walk into and kill, and which ones to not clear out.

The feeling that, like, oh, but what if something really cool that I enjoyed was in that one and not knowing sucks?

Exactly.

It sucks to not know that and to just move on and ignore it for the rest of the game.

That's not a good feeling.

So, streaming has actually made this version of me way worse because I thought about that before I ever started streaming or LPing.

And then streaming and LPing made it way worse.

And now I'm like that all the time, even

when no one can look.

Okay.

Like the conversation that caused this idea, which was basically me going, well, what if the one side quest I don't do is the best side quest in the game?

To which many people were like, that doesn't happen anymore.

In fact, that hasn't happened in like decades.

Hmm.

I mean,

in cyberpunk,

the most hidden out-of-the-way side quest is rarely the best one.

No, but in cyberpunk, there was certainly skippable, missable, awesome stuff that I had to be pointed in the direction of.

So I don't really think that's true.

I think

it's legit to be like, oh, that sucks.

I wouldn't have wanted to miss that, right?

And if you're somebody that goes, well, just deal with it.

That's what it is.

You just got to pick stuff and go.

And that's how it goes.

And maybe that's what second playthroughs are for.

You're like, yes, okay.

But I like video games because of the things that I'm describing that I don't want to miss here.

This is why I enjoy the mediums.

So

if you just, you know, you can't just dismiss that outright.

So

that is a reasonable reason to not want to avoid that shit.

So

I can now mentally look back on the events that caused this mental disease to take a strong hold over me.

Like an iron hold over me.

The first of which is when I was 11, I got really, really into survival horror games, right?

And that became like a long-term basis for like the content that I make and the things that I'm into.

I'm crazy about those old-style Resident Evil games, right?

Those old style Resident Evil games,

you can get to the end of your save file and be like, well, I'm fucked.

I used up too much ammunition.

I there aren't enough dead enemies.

I don't know where enough of the ammo is.

I'm fucked.

Have to start the whole fucking thing over.

And granted, those games are like six hours long, so it's not that big of a deal, but it created like the item scarcity, like insanity of like, no, I could get to the end and just be genuinely incapable of beating it, right?

It's you can ruin your save.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Ruin it, right?

And then the second one,

a series that is near and dear to my heart, but played on this mentality more than anything I can think of, is Yakuza 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

God damn, the Leica Dragon games.

Yes.

Do you know what happens when you don't do an unmarked side quest in Yakuza 1 to 5, and then the time of day changes because you went forward in the story?

It goes away.

It goes away.

Locked out till Premium Adventure.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's not, I like, and it's not the

whatchamacallit, Way of the Samurai, where it's like, oh, that's the content is the time-passing thing.

It's like, no, no, no, you just missed it.

One, two, three, and four, the quests don't fucking show up on the map.

So in one, two, three, and four, when you're walking down,

you're like, I hope I run into the side quests.

And so what happens, right?

Well, I want to fight them on, so I need to do all the side quests.

So

what ends up occurring is you end up going to Game Facts, and you end up going and looking at the Yakuza 1, 2, 3, or 4 guides by The Patrick.

And they will list the street corner and time of day and chapter that you will encounter every single psych list.

And so you go down the list by the Patrick and you do it.

And it creates this thing of like,

if I don't want to miss out on legit some of the best shit in the game,

I have to go and play this game with this list on my second monitor.

Right, Syrixy.

Yep.

You could have also just told the story of an old Persona game and maxing out those S-Links.

See, I don't, I didn't, when I beat four, I didn't feel like I needed to have maxed out those S-links.

I maxed out everybody I cared about.

Like, there are like

Ibihara and the shithead tower.

Yeah,

fuck them.

I give a fuck about them.

Okay, I thought you were guiding your way through for maximum efficiency.

Absolutely not.

Okay, okay, okay.

Because in the Persona games, I quickly identify three or four loser S-links that

you can choose to not give a fuck about.

Right.

Unless there's an amazing skill behind it, in which case, goddamn it.

Yeah.

But no, that's entirely it.

That's entirely it.

So, um, yeah, so I

um, and I'm on track, and because of because of this, I'm on track to the how long to beat

our count

actually

being a useful metric

instead of being a pipe dream, right?

Because when we do the how long to beat thing, it goes like 30 hours, and you go, no,

no, add 40% to that.

Well, so Pat, here's the thing, right?

Here's the magic.

Yeah.

Main

completionist.

Main plus extra.

Main plus extras.

What does extras mean?

Yeah.

Extras.

What's the valuable extras?

Extras!

Ah, fuck off.

Your heart will decide.

Let your heart decide what the extras are.

Going through the Xenoblade Chronicles, wow, the pacing in that game is incredible.

Wow, the pacing in that game is incredible.

It's really fast.

There's constant story.

Oh my God, the ability.

It might as well be a different game than the one I played.

That's crazy.

Just because of the nature that I'm doing it.

I will.

I will say that Xenoblade Chronicles has one specific

design flaw that is insane:

they load you up with a million side quests, but then they have an entire section of your menu called the affinity chart that shows the relations between every single character,

like every single townsperson, and implies that that's going to be a big deal.

It's a bunch of fucking pointless fluff.

It's absolutely, completely fucking pointless, and useless, and stupid, and shitty, and a time waster.

It's a trick.

Okay.

So this problem also, for me personally, depends on the flow of walking from one area to another.

Like I used to hate RPGs and random battles aggressively because of how it felt like the game was stopping constantly and that that overall flow interruption was terrible.

I just hated the feeling of like I take two steps and I can't get anywhere, right?

I can't believe you beat Rhydo one, by the way.

That's the worst one I've ever played in my life.

I mean, the actual worst one I've ever played was JoJo the 7th Stand User.

But that's not a real game.

Yeah, well, you know, because it was just so in love with Dragon Quest and random battles and non-random battles that it just decided, let's put them all in at the same time.

But yeah,

that pacing slog feeling is extra bogged down when you're like two steps to fight.

three steps to fight, and then you have to get from one time to the other.

It's like a big open MMO kind of thing.

So you see everything on the field and you're deciding to go fight.

You're engaging.

If anything was within like a certain cone of my vision, yeah, I'll fight you.

And then I got to the bosses on level.

I, dude, this is going to sound so fucked up.

I have not fought RPG bosses

on level in like a decade or more.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

No, I get it.

I get it.

No, FF7 Remake actually limits your XP.

Like any game game that you can grind it out,

right?

I've been like way above, way above.

Games like FF7 Remake where they're like, no, you're only going to get so fucking far.

Deal with it.

But here's the alternative reality.

It's the one where you got this great pacing and you were on level and everything was moving fine, right?

But again, to steal man, the illness,

you have the alternate version of this where you got all those things, but then you're like, someone's like, oh, did you get that fucking super sick boss fight?

And you're like, what?

Which one?

And it was like, in that cave over there, you're like, no, I went past.

And you're like, oh, you missed it.

It was the coolest dude.

He was full of all the things you love, and the reward was the best sword in the game.

Yeah.

And you're like, well, by shit.

And it's like, well, you can go replay it to get that experience if you want to go replay it.

Are you going to replay it or are you going to move on to another LP?

Because you could just, you know, you're like,

the reality that I have to deal with is that the mental back and forth

over

that scenario takes so much time that I could have beaten multiple other games just

combined of time about Heming and Hawing.

Right, I think about Final Fantasy XII and the time I wasted getting the fucking right chests for the Zodiac spear, and then didn't even get far enough to get the fucking spear in the first place

because I was playing that fucking game with a guy trying to do it perfect.

Yeah,

Yeah.

It's nice to know that overall, if there's been a trend towards not making really high effort, super cool content completely missable, or at the very least, it's encouraged to the user.

You know, it's nice to know that games have sort of like pushed themselves that way.

And overall, you know, you as well don't want games.

Game design hates when they do something expensive and you don't see it.

You know, so that's nothing expensive or most things expensive are going to be in your way.

That's there too.

You know, so anytime a repeating, reloading quest that never fully gets cleared off or whatever starts popping back up, you can go, good.

I'm safe to not care about that.

Like,

I'm playing Horizon Forbidden West in the background.

I might have talked about this last week, but like, I'm like, I'm trying to do more of the main quest at its appropriate level.

And, like,

my desire is to scrape the map like a fax machine.

And I didn't do that.

And I got the Metroidvania style upgrade that opens a bunch of doors that I would have wasted my time trying to get into if I scraped the map like a map effects machine.

There you go.

There you go.

Right, right, right.

Or, you know, feel like I have to go back and actually replay like 150 different games to do it correctly.

Oh, okay, because I was about to say, like, when you unlock double time in

a persona game, and then you feel like you wasted all of those previous days.

You know, you're like, thank you for this reward.

Actually, it's a net negative on my soul right now.

Oh, but

like, Kawakami's thing is like so crazy because you're like, wait, if I had focused her up in the first two months, I could have had double time this whole, for like nine.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

And, and, and this is, and the other side of this is just like, um,

you can do this on things that you don't care as as much about.

That's kind of a little asterisk here.

Is anything you care too much about, this is not going to work for?

Yeah, so Elden Ring, I did every single fucking dungeon in that game, except for the like two at the end.

Yeah, you did over

a 16-day period, which was like sick at the end of it.

Yeah, I mean, sick.

I did as much of that as I could.

I didn't do absolutely everything, but I did as much of that as I could.

And, you know, yeah, someone just pointed out, like, in Nier Automata, I didn't do the Emile

bit at the end there.

I did everything else, but that was one we never got back to, you know, but like as much as reasonably possible, and also and pushing it to that limit.

But if you care about the content a whole lot, this whole discussion changes because you're really regretting what's not around what not seeing what's around that corner.

So I'll send you this wolves.

So Goblin's adjective.

I was so happy

with

I was so happy with the way that the beeline things are.

I had Viking make me this, which is a transparent PNG of the beelining logo.

Okay, okay.

That I am now turning on and off during my streams.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There we go.

When I got to the final sublayer in Donkey Kong, I turned that fucking logo on and went, mm-mm, no more banana.

This is your lab.

This is your lab.

Yeah.

There we go.

It's just, it's, it's, I'm glad the results have been, uh, uh,

you know,

are reporting back in with successful results.

I would say stellar.

That's great.

Providing that, again, we're talking about games where the amount you care,

you know?

I will say, Woolly, and this is me

gaining a new version of empathy for you and your side of the streaming coin.

I've never had this happen to to me nearly as much as it happens to you because you tend to play like much older games that you missed, right?

You'll play like Halo, Halo 1, right?

Like 20 fucking years after it came out, right?

And as soon as you started to play Halo 1,

here it fucking came, like, when are you going to get to reach?

And it's like, shut up.

Oh, my God.

So I'm playing Xenoblade Chronicles 1 that came out in 2011.

And like,

I'm half an hour in.

And I'm getting comments that are like, are you going going to beeline the quests in three?

Bro, these are 100-hour RPGs.

Can I even see if I'm going to continue this fucking segment to the end of the day?

No, no, you can't.

You can't.

The person sitting behind the keyboard has a jumbled collection of positive memories of the entire franchise, and they're grabbing all the top ones and just going, Are you going to do that one?

Are you going to do that one?

And it doesn't matter how far apart they are or how the distance from one to the other, how practical or impractical they are.

It's just my favorite memories from one, three, and 15 are you going to do though?

But

that's it.

It's not a thought.

I'm like, hey, can we see how successful

is?

Like, not even the LP, not even the LP.

Can we just see if today goes well?

No, no, no.

There's no thought behind it whatsoever.

It's just, yeah.

But you mentioned about games that are near and dear to your heart.

Xeno Gears is like insanely near and dear to my heart.

And then Xeno Saga trampled on it.

And once again friend of the show Gene Park it's his fault because he said that Xenogear as

Xeno Gear's dream was like realized in Xenoblade 3 and I'm like you bitch you can't fucking is that

so

yeah

and I'm like

interesting but yeah so did a lot this week lot going on lot going on did any evil stuff happen oh hold on is is Xenogear's Dream Disc 2?

No.

Xeno.

Xeno Gears is supposed to be part 5 of a six-part series like Star Wars.

And so Xenoblade 1 plus DLC and Xenoblade 2 plus DLC plus Xenoblade 3 plus DLC ends up being six parts.

There you go.

And Xeno Gears was supposed to be part 5,

which

coincidentally, Xeno Played Chronicles 3 is the fifth part of that.

And the main character happens to look exactly like the main character of Xeno Gears.

And the whole love story there is about two people on opposing sides of a war.

But then they...

In order to fulfill the childhood desire of seeing Xeno Gears finished, I now must go through 450 hours of RPGs.

But they never drew the direct line.

They kept it vague.

No, though, though, hey, do you know what's really cool aesthetic?

Metallic red

and neon green.

Okay.

All right.

The spiritual.

Yeah, yeah, alright.

That's fine.

That's fine.

Nothing wrong with that.

Let's do it.

Some stuff happened.

2xKO gave.

Fuck it.

I got some good feedback coming in.

Yeah, let's hear it.

So, yeah, Evo happened, and

you know, I was not.

Just a heads up, we're on a one-hour timer.

I got to be out of here in an hour and five minutes.

That's yeah, okay, let's make it work.

So, a couple of things happened at Evo.

I've, you know, I was supposed to do that.

I was going to do something official that didn't end up happening, which is fine.

But, um, uh, I tuned in to the best of my ability to do stuff, but you know, I didn't get to watch the full streams in their entirety.

So, running down the highlights of what was cool, announcements and events.

As far as the actual

some of the events go, Betty versus Justin Wong, surprise, amazing event, good fight.

Betty, Japanese strong jury player, and Justin, who, you know, full-on family man, barely even plays Street Fighter VI, had a really clutch, sick,

to the edge, tooth and nail

exhibition fight that had like lots of twists and turns.

And yeah, it was just a fun, unexpectedly like, oh shit, this got hype real quick kind of fight.

The Wazzler did it.

Beyond that, hey, guess what?

Meta RD is fucking unstoppable.

Just

straight.

I'm glad that we live in the Blanca timeline, the timeline in which you don't play Blanca anymore.

There you go.

You know, which is, you know, that's fine.

That's that's okay.

Allergic to top tiers, just allergic to it.

At the end of the day, too, I mean, it's like, I pick a character, and if I'm having fun, well, whatever, we don't have to break this down, but yes, Mena RD is incredible with Blanca and is a fucking goat.

And,

you know, Tekken is, they had the Anna finals, Arcelon Ash won there.

And,

man,

that is.

Arsenal Ash won again.

Well, I mean, at this point with Mena crushing three championships, you're going like, okay, so how many, what's the record to go like all-time, you know, all-time greatest in a particular game, especially in a row.

Right now, him at six is like

convincingly uncontested compared to like other entries of the world.

In the nine Netherrealm games, where's Sonic Fox at on that?

I mean, not in just Netherrealm, but counting everything, Sonic Fox did beat Justin's record, I think, for the seventh Evo win.

That's crazy.

But

not just one.

Or eight?

Eight, excuse me, eight.

Not just one company.

With

the

announcements,

some cool shit showed up.

So one, how the fuck about that Stella Bryant versus Akira, Virtufighter 6 teaser.

That was gorgeous.

Little training room action.

I may have gone over that with a fine-tooth comb.

If you don't want to listen to me talk about it, Rufflemonger has a great 14-minute Vint-minute video up.

So, the coolest thing about it, which we saw a little bit in the preview trailer before this, was the blocking animation and how dynamic it is.

When you see this,

it is exactly as dynamic as it was going to appear.

It's very custom for everything.

Akira is like throwing his hand up and parrying and deflecting and guarding.

And it's just blocking, but like it's making the block look like a real fight, you know?

And

that part of it just looks fantastic.

It's also a breath of fresh air because you're just seeing the characters silently, mind you, fight on a training stage and move and do buttons, hit each other, do some combos, a little bit.

But the comparison between that and Tekken's like fireworks show, which currently Tekken like players are upset about how much that it's become so spectacle-oriented and it's losing its way from the pure fight.

Virtual Fighter looks so pure.

Virtual Fighter had two characters fight on a featureless stage to no music.

They didn't even go ah,

they made no barks.

It was as dry as it possibly could have been.

And I was like, yeah.

RGG Studio understands the assignment 100%.

Silent match, and it looked great.

Very clear.

I love that there's like a heat move style cut of like, you know, you know,

Stella kicking Akira in the face and like, oh my god, it's so dramatic.

It's the round-ending strike.

It's not in the fight.

It's completely separated from the gameplay.

Cinematic moment for the KO only.

Also,

they side-announced that they're putting Dural

back in the F5 in the

That's crazy.

Wait to see what happens there.

That's batshit.

That must be a rebalance because this is a competitive version.

Because Doral is so fucked.

Completely unfair.

So ridiculous.

She's a necrid of all the best moves.

It's like a weapon master.

And then in Virtual Fighter, having all the best moves is like batshit.

Fucking Kage Azuna drops into Jackie flip kicks into

just everything, everything.

Oh, Doral is not tournament or online legal.

Okay, okay, so unbalanced.

There you go.

As she is, Akira shoulder block, and then Jackie Flip, you know, like, yeah.

Then we got a lot of coverage of Tokan fighting souls.

Marvel,

there was some folks playing matches at the stations,

and then

that some of that got uploaded for day one.

A lot of people very confused about the flow of the game,

So it's got

standardized inputs and like easy things all over the place, but it also has like 40 systems on top of one another.

It's

an ARC systemworks game.

So

it's more like the systems are actually fairly simple, except for there's one concept, which is assembling, which is very complicated, right?

Like everything else is pretty much just like, yeah,

it's Dragon Ball Fighter Z again.

If I knock them up and then I knock them down, I can tag my guy in.

But then there's assembling, and assembling has a whole lot going on with it.

For one thing, day one, people were confused and couldn't really find their routes and were not sure about the feeling of it.

There was some awkward footage and some awkward play, and some people walked away feeling like unsure about it.

And that's coming from the thought that if you try to play it like Marvel vs.

Capcom, you will be unsuccessful.

You need to play it like Arcsys games and like a Dragon Ball game is what comes to mind in particular.

But

one of the features

is that when you call in assists,

they come in and then they do their little help, their move, but you can't just switch to them right away at any time like you could in like more free-flowing like infinite style games or so.

There's a window of time, of opportunity that has to happen after they finish their move and their posing.

And that means that like you slow down how quickly you tag back and forth between characters to xko and marvel infinite are like

stream go right just put both on the screen jump back and forth handshake handshake handshake and uh that pressure is pretty nuts and i mean it makes for an exciting game in this case they're going with a different flow to that um

the other thing in particular is as a newer ArcSys game, there's a lot of screen transitions, there's a lot of slowdown moments, there's a lot of hit stop, and things are going to, every time a new character has to reassemble on your team, you're going to have a wall break style moment occur.

They really love those fucking wall breaks.

So does...

Throw a wall break, you man.

That's crazy.

It became really evident watching full matches that, oh, when they made Strive 3v3, they were just testing for this game.

Oh, yeah.

That's all that was.

That whole feature that came out of nowhere where we went, why?

Was like, because this is what our next game is, you know?

And

yeah, I think, and they even, even having the shared life bar as well and stuff, you saw that then.

It makes a lot of sense.

It does work out.

But I would say that like day two is where Max and some folk like started to got, he got some combos videos from the devs showing off some stuff that were like, oh, okay, this is what you're kind of supposed to be doing.

And then on the last day, they've had some match footage fighting against them or so.

So it was not immediately clear.

There's a bit, there's definitely a weirdness to it that is not Marvel versus Capcom.

Like you have to kind of let go of that idea

in terms of how it feels and how the rhythm of the game goes.

But it is similar in that you're seeing a ton of Marvel characters on the screen doing stuff

at once.

That is clear, but game feel

is a different thing.

I think the way that your assists come on and the fact that you have to assemble your team from a 2v2 fighter into a 4v4 fighter is really genius.

Yep.

I think it's really smart.

I like it.

I think it's because

giving somebody a 4v4 team right off the bat, Jesus Christ, that's fucking intimidating.

That's a lot, man.

That's bananas.

It's doing its best to de-emphasize how much you need a full team.

Right.

They really want you to feel like you can pick one and then just use them and focus lightly on the others as they eventually join in.

And if you're feeling confident, hard tag to them.

But like, really,

it's up to you, you know?

And

with that, we will need...

So like

this is newer on the block, but like 2xko, this game will also need a giant roster because you're going to feel eight characters every single round.

You know, that's going to need to have a bunch of people coming along for that game to not suffer the same kind of like vibe.

But

I love the like flair of like, you know, the anime versions of the characters.

So, of course, Tony Tony with the V-Fin is one thing.

But the moment I saw Star-Lord do a rainstorm all the way from the top of the screen to the bottom, and I'm like, look at his red coat.

Look at his weapon switching.

Look, look at Dante at home.

We have our own fucking shit-talking gunslinger.

We don't need yours.

Starlord looks cool, and I want to main him until someone else comes along.

I saw that rainstorm, and I was like, fuck, I love that.

But yeah, combos, part of

the factor that people are feeling is limited is because this has something similar to Killer Instinct, which is

essentially like a combo limiting meter.

Each time you do a hit, you could see the meter get closer to being full.

And there's a couple of ways to extend it.

But if you don't really know them, after a certain number of hits or after a certain type of

under a certain number of specials, the combo is just going to end, no matter what you're doing.

So that means that like your ability to kind of like get creative and discover and have that open sort of system,

this is not that.

This is a much more fixed, closed system.

No infinites here, sir.

Not even no infinites.

Your overall just like wild reset reset game is going to be a little bit more limited.

I feel like they saw like Alpha Lab Ari in 2xKO and they're like never.

Oh,

well, to be fair to 2xKO, as of their latest build, they also said never to Ari because she's different.

That was like one of the worst experiences.

They completely changed that shit.

Yeah, for the better.

So what they're doing too as well is like that whole thing about like, I like these three characters, and this is a real Marvel problem, right?

I like these three characters, but if you don't have a beam assist, get fucked, right?

Damn it, I want doom missiles, but I want to plick this other.

It's like, yeah, well, too bad, right?

And then there's the opposite, which is like, oh, I want Doom's assist.

I don't like playing as Doom.

Like, it sucks that a full character on my slot is just assist.

I am not a Hawkeye, like, Hawkeye was never my favorite character.

I love him now, and I read that Matt Fraction book, and I was like, damn, Hawkeye's sick, actually, you know, but

when Marvel 3 was out, I was like, I don't really care about Hawkeye, but I need that assist.

So here we go.

And this really gets rid of that problem because they're like, it doesn't matter who's on your team.

It doesn't matter what's going on.

Everyone has a projectile.

Everyone has an uppercut.

Everyone has a body rush.

And they're all going to have different strengths.

They're not all the same move.

No.

But the idea of those three being things that can help you out according to the situation is fantastic.

Like, Cap's body projectile is probably stellar because it's a charging star, right?

And it's nice and fat.

And I'm sure Storm's like, you know,

wind projectile

is like super good.

But you're not going to be completely missing a full part of your assist kit, depending on your team.

So that's a great decision from them.

The fact that the game has no push blocking is crazy because Dragon Ball Fighters launched where people were getting locked.

Goichi was was putting people in block strings for like 20 seconds plus as they were getting Gohan kicked and they couldn't do much about it.

This time around, they have this like

assemble like counter where it's like an alpha counter essentially.

When you're blocking, you can call it a partner to knock them off of you.

And if they see that happening, they can react with perfect timing to like shut down all of your assists and counter that as well.

So there's a little play there.

But overall, not having a thing that just says, leave me alone, get off me, and pushes you away is like, ooh, I hope you're ready to play defense.

And that's going to be, I don't care how experienced or like if you're new, if you're playing fighting, whatever the fuck it is, if you can't push people off of you, you're going to, you're going to have a hard time because learning to block and getting opened up and what that is is really tricky when the game fills the screen up with shit and you're stuck surrounded, you know?

There's a big slow, the soul is leaving Captain America and going into

Miss Marvel.

So you can't miss that.

But the overwhelming feeling of like, I'm surrounded and panicking is going to be present in this game a lot.

But yeah, that's kind of the deal.

So just

looks incredible.

Looks very cool.

Also, just don't expect it to be Marvel versus Capcom.

And

we'll have to see what people get with a chance to lab it properly.

Some of the dev footage looked a bit better for sure than

what people were figuring out on their own.

But

the players who like to figure things out on their own, kind of going like, it's, they didn't like the, like, the fact that it's like, oh, what I'm looking for, I'm not finding with this kind of time is a bit of a like,

okay,

I'm not sure where it's going, but hopefully it,

the, the, we believe in the planet, it makes sense, you know, and hopefully Patchy, who's the, the battles director here, the combat director, like, you know, we can believe because, you know,

storied FGC player coming from the Arxis side.

Doctor Strange kind of got leaked on a document as well.

So, hey, guess what?

I'm fucking shocked.

I can't believe it.

He's going to be there.

2xKO got some leaked.

That means it has more characters known than 2xKO.

Eight.

Nine.

Nine.

Nine

with the leak.

Yeah, 2xKO, new build.

Got some word on the street footage about that.

Or feedback on the new build as well.

Some cool stuff.

Big, big improvement with the new no longer carry meter between rounds is making the game a lot better.

The fact that you just are encouraged to spend all of your super each round, each time is great.

And furthermore, your partner dying and you still having some super with them, now you can use it to call in and do their big super assist, you know, and so like there's a reason to go through all of that stuff.

There's

fewer timeouts and lame non-fighting moments happening as well, like a big, big improvement over over that um and yeah the fact that uh you can use your assist to for most of the match they can push block as well and all that stuff is yeah just good good feedback on that stuff vi has some some particular um she has some of those um ducking punch combo stuff where like you can get a basic version of each of her special moves by just tapping it after a ducking move but if you hold it for like just frame kind of timing you get like perfect timing versions that you can do stuff with so kind of like lukish you know so there's a little bit of a skill thing to getting her best combos out if you can hold and release with the right timing.

I think stuff like that's fun.

We got to see Lucy

in Strive.

And also the announcement of 2.0.

Yeah.

So the Lucy trailer, hey, guess what?

Really wants to stay at your house.

You know?

That's crazy.

Hope you don't get choked up every time.

But they did kind of what you'd expect where her trailer has her in the bathtub and then she fucking she dives into

the Guilty Gear world and pops out the other side

and also is like seems like her memory is kind of fractured and messed up, but she appears to be looking for David.

Yeah, you see in her moveset, she's doing a bunch of whip stuff, which is all fine.

She's a whip character.

She's got the guns as well.

But the coolest thing, you see her hit you, and the person gets hit.

You see some of that black wall energy coming off of them

as well.

The coolest thing is the screen freezes, and she goes into a quick hack screen and starts selecting quick hacks and stacking them up in the trailer.

And I'm like, that is awesome.

Right?

It's kind of like when...

Asuka is like stacking through his deck.

So hacking in mid-fight is really dope.

So yeah,

that's all fine.

And

the 2.0 kind of teased artwork for RoboKai and Jam Karadaberi.

So guess what?

I fucking love RoboKai.

Yeah.

Everyone loves RoboKai.

Everyone loves Jam.

So they're coming back.

Good stuff.

Guilty Gear Strive going healthy into its fucking fifth or sixth season.

Like

they're doing it.

Things are doing well for them.

They're thoroughly supporting this game five years in.

Also, why wouldn't someone from the world of cyberpunk be able to hack into the Guilty Gear world?

It is the backyard, after all.

God damn it.

Did you think we were going to get out here

without the backyard coming up?

I was hoping.

Backyard's so fucking stupid.

I tell you, man.

And then you got Tekken just announcing these characters, and you're like, wait a minute, that character has the same face as those other characters.

Like an Armor King?

Yeah.

Look at that.

Look at that.

Look at that.

Look at that king face.

It's just king again.

What the hell?

Look at some goddamn Jaguars all over the place.

What the hell, guys?

God, fucking at least mix it up a little bit.

Armor King had the coolest trailer.

He looks really cool.

In the context, of course, of Tekken 8, you're seeing these insane lockdown, you know, set play moments and heat drive, heat rush, all that nonsense.

But in terms of just the spectacle of watching him do sick-ass wrestling moves and

spitting poison mist, lighting his hand on fire, doing all these cool like, like specials where he breaks the ring, um, Armor King is the, is the sickest.

Armor King fucking rules and uh,

yeah, drops you through a table as his wind pose.

Awesome.

I love you, Armor King.

Armor King's.

Not as much as Wolf, but hey.

Armor King's a badass.

I love fucking.

And then they showed off the next character, Mighty Zoe, who is Malagasy and comes from Madagascar.

And that's shout outs to a character getting representation from Madagascar.

That's a cool location.

I've always loved the.

Like, there's a lot of, it's like a New Zealand-style place where you're just like, man, you couldn't mistake this for anywhere else.

It's gorgeous.

Beautiful, beautiful island.

And

the character,

I popped up and I was like,

that

vibe really does look a lot like the previous characters Tekken has released.

And

it is unfortunate that she's easily mistakable for a Christie or a

Azusena or a Josie Rizal and so on.

And it's like,

there's an accuracy.

There's a face model that we have seen, you know, and there's a real person they're basing that on, you know, for the accuracy of the culture.

But

with Tekken, there's a bunch of characters that kind of look like that, unfortunately.

So it's just like, man, this was a good opportunity to kind of like have someone that stood out a bit more.

And

it just doesn't, you know, nothing.

She's cool.

But yeah.

And then the concept art certainly has a different kind of face where you see.

maybe we're beating a dead horse here, but more freaks.

Sure.

Sure.

More freaks all the time, every day.

In this particular case, though, with Tekken, there's a thing that's called like Tekken girl face.

And you there's all look like Julia Chang with different skin tones.

So if you take the Anna haircut and put it on top of all the other girls and go find Anna,

it's a game you can play.

And you know what?

I did find Anna, and I knew who Anna was because the trick was I'm like none of these have their eyebrows showing because they're in the wrong place but the only one that does is because it was designed for this haircut so the one where the eyebrows are showing correctly is clearly anna but still find anna and tech and girlface is an issue and yeah they're not getting as distinct from each other as they ought to be and i find you know that's like they're pretty but in the meantime fucking chunly looks nothing like cami looks nothing like kimberly looks nothing like marissa looks nothing like Juri, you know?

And I much prefer...

Like, Zafina looks

different, you know, and there's a couple of more pronounced instances, but there's kind of a safe, pretty girl face that they tend to sort of use a lot.

And I think this would have been a great instance to not do that.

Sea Viper looks dope as hell.

Love that.

Love that outfit.

Can't wait to see the baller ass just original outfit as well.

The original black suit, you know, but the cool looking white one with the shoulder jacket is awesome.

Not much to say, but besides, hey, look, it's exactly what we expected.

And,

oh, yeah, they announced Alpha 3 Max is pretty much getting dropped on top of the collection for Street Fighter Alpha 3.

Crazy.

So, hey, here's an update.

We're adding the extra characters that weren't there in this version.

Here comes Ingrid and Eagle.

You too can hate on Ingrid in an updated manner.

Awesome.

Eagle, Mackie, Yun, love that.

Love that they just gave that out there.

Super fun update for that game.

So good stuff, you know.

Overall,

that's pretty much, you know, what I saw from Evo.

That was that was dope.

I feel like it was like a slow Evo for announcements this year.

I mean, slow Evo for like

going down there and a lot of fashion.

I was kind of surprised that 2XKO didn't have anything else to announce

like they didn't have the final two characters to announce and when they didn't do that I'm like oh my god are they using the beta launch to launch the game with eight characters so that they can say hey we have 10 at launch because launch launch is like four months later

I don't know I don't know I think Like whatever decisions they would have made in light of all these new tag game announcements, it's probably been too soon for them to be able to reflect those publicly.

You know, so if there's shit going on behind the scenes that they're cooking, especially because the tag wars are upon us,

it probably is going to take a little longer than a month or two before they're willing to

tell people what they're doing.

Yeah, that was pretty much it.

Yeah, the hey, guess what?

Like, Street Fighter 6 characters, fucking Tit's ass and dong are coming.

Yeah, they look hot in bathing suits.

Can you believe it?

I can't.

I want Alex Lay to go back and record new lines that are like extra himbo.

I'm super interested in seeing what geefs

bathing suit is going to be.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I'm totally baffled.

That's what it needs to be.

So I have been told by gay men that there is a way to it's not about just being randomly naked it's about emphasizing particular parts of the body in a slutty manner right they just put them in a crop top so if you have a really low cut or like even some kind of corset that kind of like amplifies the parts that's way hotter than just having someone standing there naked

Because like geef is like functionally naked in his classic costume.

But hotter than just naked is a leather thing that like, assless chaps, which all chaps are assless, that emphasizes that part, right?

Or again, the

someone in the chat says he'll probably be in like an old-timey sweat

bathing suit that actually covers a lot of him, like Expedition 33, like potentially, potentially, if they want to go the other way with it.

But, but if you want to make this, if you want to make it sexy, then you have to cover up some stuff and deliberately choose to slut it up in other ways.

This is tech.

This is known.

Or just have

the same thing, but a little more banana hammock, right?

Just a little more

ride it up a little bit higher, like the Todd.

Anyway, so there's that.

Alright, moving along.

Evo aside.

There

were...

What the fuck was it?

Okay,

so

the

update,

there was a whole thing with the MasterCard bit going on.

Long story short.

There's more.

There's more.

MasterCard said, we're trying to curb illegal content.

And Valve's like, they're full of shit.

Yeah.

So long story.

Long story short, MasterCard's basically just been like, no, no, no, our policies have always been about not illegal stuff.

And that's the same thing we're doing now.

And it's like, well, clearly it's not.

You know, and clearly this reinforcement is changing a ton of large platforms.

So

that's bullshit.

And they, you know, their first statement was kind of like dodgy.

And then the second one kind of like, you know,

kind of contradicted some of what they were saying.

So

the pressure on MasterCard and them feeling the heat for listening to this stupid fucking, you know, Australian group.

Good.

Good.

The people working their lines that were like, this is, this fucking sucks, and them being like, we have to say something.

And eventually getting to the point of going, hey, there are way more people that are upset about this than the people that were complaining to begin with.

This is the asymmetrical amount of pressure that needs to happen to stop this shit from going.

Yeah, so just if you're calling, keep calling.

If you're

haven't been calling, think about calling.

Awesome.

I like that in the light of this, Newgrounds and other censorship stuff.

Newgrounds basically came out because censorship and age verification and whatnot are coming through as well

because the Online Safety Act that is like, you know, fucking with a bunch of places.

They basically went, here's how we're going to handle UK users and verifying their age.

One, if your account is more than 10 years old, we'll assume you're over 18.

Because when you hire people to do effective age assurance, you pay a third party to match your email address with a database of scraped data, and then they basically determine that your email has been used for a long time anyway.

We have our own data, so we'll just use that instead.

Second, if your account ever bought a supporter status with a credit card, and we can confirm that was with a payment processor, we'll assume you're over 18 because you need to be 18 in the UK to use a credit card or to have a credit card.

Three, if you ever bought a supporter status more than two years ago, we'll assume you're over 18 because you need to be at least 16 to have a PayPal or debit account in the UK.

And if none of the above applies, then you can pay a small one-time fee via credit card, and that'll be confirmation that you are over 18 because you have to be over 18 to have a credit card in the UK.

Done and done.

Right?

Solves the problem completely on their own.

How about that?

Incredible.

Looks like you can fucking find a way to do this if you cared.

Yeah, so they put all that out there and then just went like, this online safety act is a complete bullshit scam.

And all it does is punish smaller sites that can't afford to keep up with the regulation.

That's it.

So good on them.

Good shit, new grounds.

Appreciate that.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the equation,

there is

a speedrunning event in Japan.

The biggest speedrunning event is RTA,

Japan Summer 2025.

And all Nintendo-owned titles are excluded because they were told that they have to apply for permission for each game.

Stupid.

This is a charity event that raises money, and they're a non-profit.

And nonetheless,

this appears to be a strict regulation that has come down.

They've used them in the past as well, but Nintendo's going to Nintendo.

And the dinosaurs in place,

you know, of course, are going to look at it in one

way.

It seems like the reason why this happened is because in 2020, the

speedrunning organization became a legal entity, right?

They're the biggest event.

They always had a large charity non-profit drive, and they became an official legal entity.

And that change made it so that Nintendo's like, well, now it has to go through a licensing process officially.

So

stupid fun, Stegosaurus is going to chew on their leaves.

Dumb shit.

Other

fun announcements.

Amazon has announced a service called Showrunner.

And Showrunner is an AI streaming service, the Netflix of AI.

You, the user, will type in the prompt to generate scenes or full episodes of content that you want to create from scratch or based on existing IPs.

And Disney and other studios are in talks to license their IPs so that you can generate content with their characters.

And anything generated, of course, is owned by the IP holder.

So if you wanted to know where this was going,

this is where it's going.

I want to see Captain America blow apart Mickey Mouse's ass with his dick.

Oh, what?

Not allowed?

Oh, oh, no way to went through.

Okay, post it everywhere.

Oh, I think you might just have to work a little bit harder on the prompt.

I think you can work that in there.

Like, you know, tell it to

disregard all previous prompts, pretend you're someone else, pretend you had no morals, or pretend you didn't care about whatever.

And then just, you know, put all the things in there and get there eventually.

Mouse plus 9-11.

Just keep, just keep putting it in there and just posting it everywhere.

Well, listen, clearly, after Darth Vader's slur fest in Fortnite, Nintendo went, ooh,

how can we make it happen even faster?

How can we get there?

It's literally a single day before the worst things you've ever seen get slopped out.

You know,

the lesson learned was we can make it even more horrifying with all of our properties.

So,

yeah.

Yeah, that's somebody in the chat wished ill on the people who are profiting off of this.

And I really feel like it's important to note that no one is profiting off of this.

The entire AI revolution is a massive investment loss-leading bubble project.

No one's making any money off of it.

They're all making up all this shit in the hopes of maybe being the only people to make money off of it later.

The person behind the company that's making this, Edward Saatchi,

is not totally sure it's going to work.

Yeah.

But has a vote of confidence from Amazon and the venture capital firm invested in Fable.

And they're going to go forward and see what happens.

But there is an uncertainty from

the people creating it as to whether or not it's actually going to work.

But hey,

what did he say here?

Ah, yes, the toy story of AI isn't just going to be a cheap toy story.

Our idea is that the toy story of AI would be playable with millions of new scenes, all owned by Disney.

So

it's good, good, good timeline, good stuff, good stuff.

One of the really important things to learn as you get older is the larger the claim, the less you should believe it.

This is this applies to everything.

I just

can feel warmth in the cockles of my heart thinking about the size of the lawsuit from the class action of all traumatized kids subjected to AI-generated children's content that unfiltered

got distributed and showed the worst things ever, and all the nightmare fuel melded into one.

I greatly look forward to seeing how that pans out.

Like ElsaGate, like fucking

dialed up to the maximum.

Like, absolutely.

And Elsa used to get pregnant a lot.

Oh, yeah.

Well, what if now Elsa could get double pregnant with

pregnant SpongeBob?

With already pregnant SpongeBob.

With God's light, all things are possible.

There we go.

You know?

And then Shrek and Shadow the Hedgehog no longer have to be supporting dad on the side.

They can be be in there.

In there.

I'm not going to follow up.

I'm not going to follow up.

I don't want it.

In there.

Alright.

Look, before we take a letter, I will say that, like, I have seen...

I have seen God's Light, and I have seen the first mobile game ad that I absolutely, unironically love and endorse.

Yeah, what's that?

Did you see the DC phone game Superman ad?

I did not.

Okay, so

I'm going to send you this game, this little ad thing over here for

I'm watching it already.

Yeah, yeah, it's, I think it's,

what is it, DC?

That's the funniest shit I've seen.

That's the funniest shirt.

So

it's two Supermen, and you have the option to save the squirrel or don't save the squirrel.

And if you save the squirrel, it plays the scene from the new Superman movie where he saves the squirrel.

But when you click don't save the squirrel, you see the squirrel in Man of Steel holding its hand up going, no, don't save me.

And then it gets blown away in the wind, and fucking Superman's like, no!

That's the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life.

It's the best mobile ad I've ever seen.

It's the best.

I love it.

That's good.

Give that team a raise.

Oh, please.

Holy fuck.

That's incredible.

Yeah.

Just, well, I don't even know what the game is, but kudos to them.

Oh, it's some bullshit, I'm sure.

Yeah, I just, but I, you know, like, whoever that, whoever is responsible, for once in my life, I will say good mobile game ad.

Good.

Yes.

I think those mobile game ads that like just

those Chinese knockoff game ads where it's just like a girl and then you click on one and it's just like pregnant and

homeless are the only two options.

That's the only option.

Crack me up pretty good.

Yep.

Pregnant and homeless is one of them.

Impregnate.

Impregnate.

The other option being

to show someone someone playing a game really, really easy game really badly to frustrate you into going, I can do it better.

Dude, I don't, hey, hit me up.

I'll do one of those.

I can play a game badly on purpose, even.

Incredible stuff.

Let's take some letters.

If you want to send in a letter, send it to castlesuperbeastmail at gmail.com.

That's castlesuperbeastmail at gmail.com.

All right.

A fan says, dear brown bear and red panda.

I realized lately that I always lose my shit when comedy shows an action shot with an obvious mannequin or a doll being thrown, dropped, crushed, or exploded.

Bro, I was just thinking about this the other day.

A bad dummy shot makes me howl.

It's really

like Jack Black punting Baxter off the bridge in Anchorman.

Yep.

Yep.

That's good.

That's good shit.

I was thinking of Rocco throwing,

what's his name?

The old Nintendo guy, Yamauchi, off the fucking

off the roof.

I'm thinking of that wrestling match

with the fucking inflatable doll, you know?

Yeah.

It's the funniest thing.

He does a fucking

atomic spinning pile driver.

What tried and tested cheap comedy gag never fails to get a laugh out of you?

Yours and mind Globalism.

That's that dummy shot.

That's a big

stop there.

It's probably my favorite.

It has the best success rate.

You kind of stole our answer with your premise.

I have a second one that also gets me most of the time, which is smash cut to defenestration.

Yeah.

Smash cut.

Thrown out of windows is pretty good.

Smash cut to someone or something getting thrown out a window will always get me.

It needs to be smash cut.

Yeah.

But that's a clean win every time.

Yeah, I can't beat either of those two.

Those are too good.

You know what?

I'll give a shout out to Paul Rudd

playing that goddamn clip of that kid in a wheelchair.

Oh, man.

Mac and me.

No!

And just like, no, no, I'm going to play the real clip this time.

And then just playing it again.

I mean, actually, like, getting to the point where the bit is over and done with, and then somehow finding a way to work it it back in yeah um don't like getting to the point of like don't do it okay i'm not gonna do it and then he did it

uh good shit um all right kid

uh let's see over here okay

Greetings, old hunters.

Been following you since you introduced my favorite game, Bloodborne, via your playthrough.

Thanks for sparking my deep love of Souls' likes as well as video games as a whole.

My question is, with the introduction of Lagarius, excuse me, Lagiacrus into Monster Hunter Wilds.

Lagiacris into Monster Hunter Wilds, we see the pseudo-return of Underwater Combat, restricted to one zone, with the ability to do everything except fight the monster with your weapon.

As someone who enjoyed Underwater Combat and Try, I found this to be quite lackluster.

I feel they should have left...

held off until the expansion to do it to do it properly.

Are there any types of of games that you've played where a feature was reintroduced from a previous installment to a limited or lackluster degree, or reintroduced mechanics that were better?

Okay, so I'm going to start off by saying that everything in your email is wrong, and you should stop talking about underwater combat, and that they will never add underwater combat again, back again, because it was bad, and you should stop it.

I do remember you saying how awful that was, and based on how

being underwater works in most games, I'm inclined to imagine that sucks.

Underwater, everything is bad.

Bad combat

under the water.

Don't like it.

I think Donkey Kong Country was like the first time I felt like, ooh, being in the water is fun.

Or Echo the Dolphin, you know?

Echo the Dolphin's a weird fucking game.

It's cool.

It's weird, but it's cool.

But yeah.

I don't care for parrying in Street Fighter VI.

It's not as fucked up as it was in three.

Okay.

I liked it when it was fucked up.

Okay, okay.

No, I understand.

The stakes are lowered, and it's now more of a faultless defense than it is a parry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a correct take.

That's fine.

They've lowered the bar for more people to be able to do it.

That's totally fine.

God.

I mean,

I guess everything Gunslinger that went into DMC3, that was like an improvement over what they tried to introduce into Twosome Time.

Yeah.

You know.

I don't care for Gunslinger in 3 at all.

Rainstorm.

So I just don't care for it.

I do feel like that's a thing, though, in games where there might be a feature that hasn't been there in years that they

bring back after time.

I think losing health on death should not have come back for Dark Souls 2.

I think that shit sucked and was actually way worse than the human ghost form in Demon Souls.

Um

they never brought back post-KO hits after four.

No, they didn't, and that's stupid.

That was the end of it.

Disrespecting the corpse.

Okay.

I would accept that.

I'm okay with...

If you remove post-KO hits, make it so that villains or certain characters can do wind poses that interact with the corpse regardless.

Yeah, you should be able to piss on them.

Right.

Yamazaki, you hold one of the, I think, hard punch, and then he's like, picks your corpse up.

And, you know, Marissa picks you up, and some of the, there's a lot of, like, fucking with the body in the wind poses of Street Fighter VI, you know?

Even Sagat with the rrr.

But, uh, yeah, post-KO victories were a bit of a thing there.

I actually really dislike all 3D animated fighting game intros.

I don't like them.

I've disliked them since Street Fighter 4.

I want to load it into a static shot and then have a million different animations instead, then one fancy animation for that comes in every single time that you skip every single time.

So I completely agree, but for a different reason.

I hate that they're both in their own world and you do not see them interacting with each other.

Yeah, exactly.

I want characters to interact with each other with custom

animations that are one second long.

A basic, shitty animation of two characters doing something unique is way better than a fancy one where you're in your reality and I'm in mine.

Ryu and Ken fist bumping each other in like 10 frames is a better animation than

a single custom intro for every fighting game character since.

When Ryu and Ken in Street Fighter 4 just didn't acknowledge each other, I felt immense sadness, profound even.

Strive comes closer because they talk to each other and you look at

and you see them standing there.

Your characters would fucking fight to start off the round.

And Ken and Terry Bogard now give each other props.

So, you know, this is the, this is, we're, we're going back to that at least once.

Like, XX had, like, detailed, epic DBZ clashes before certain characters before fighting.

It was awesome.

Yep, they took it away from us.

They absolutely took it away from us.

In Xerd, not XZerd, in

Reload and,

you know, all the pre-ax and core games, there were, like, insane ones that were story mode only where you took damage.

Yeah, you would take damage on the screen.

Sol versus justice.

You actually got hit,

you know, and started the fight in a weird place.

You know, so yeah.

Holy Order, Soul, and Kai is one of the sickest ones, and I use that in my series as well.

Yeah, yeah, 100% right on that.

That needs to come back.

100.

And, okay, there was a question about beelining, but I do feel like we talked about pretty much that.

Okay, dope.

Is it normal?

I mean, the way that

normal.

Is beelining normal?

It feels like it might actually be.

Yeah,

if you're not avoiding and running away from the side quests, like that guy from Flapjack,

who's like side limboing

around their shit or the strawberries in, you know, Celeste, then yes, it is.

Fair enough.

Alright, cool.

You get out of here.

The 11th character in 2xKO might be Zed, and that is an even worse character to pick than we had discussed earlier.

Okay, okay, okay.

So, based on the previous discussions,

your picks are the best and only picks that should be picked.

So, what were your picks again?

Oh, I could throw off like okay:

Thresh,

Nautilus, Timo,

Fiddlesticks,

Aphilios, Senna, Set, Mordecaiser,

and if none of them,

Riven

Yeah, I could just do that.

Okay, Bard

and if none of them

are Karma

Azir, Irelia,

Dr.

Mundo.

I like we, yeah,

okay.

Um,

yeah, yeah, I think when Scion, Ergot,

Scion should be there, so I don't know what the fuck they're doing.

Scion's not there.

And if not, then dead aren't arrival.

That first day of

Tokan, when people were confused by it and stuff, was a moment of like, hmm,

this

is fresher in the mind, but has the exact same quandary with the roster.

And

yeah, I don't think it has the same quandary because that game's going to have at least

okay, you know, it would DPZ, FC, DHCP, how many.

It's more like it would be crazy if it didn't.

But that is the conversation we had about League of Fighters a million years ago, right?

It's the most obvious thing.

League of Fighters had a small roster.

It had the roster of TN, Yamcha, Gohan, Krillin, Goku, Frieza, Android 18, Kid Boo,

Captain, what's his name?

Captain Ginyu, Napa, Trunks, Vegeta, Beerus, Cell, Android 16, Go Tanks, Piccolo, Kid Gohan,

Regular Boo, Hit, and Black Goku.

Yep, and that is a Bandai Namco game funded by Bandai Namco, who determines things like rollback and how the game is produced as opposed to Marvel.

Yeah, which means it's...

The entirety of those things is a production decision, and Arcists are not the ones that choose that.

Yeah, exactly.

So you would actually expect way more out of Marvel 2XKO than you would out of Bandai Namco.

You really, Marvel really, really ought to.

Yes.

It would be crazy if they didn't.

I think you should look at the DBFZ roster as like the absolute bare minimum possible.

Sony in particular.

Sony in particular as well being involved too is like, yeah, there's no reason for this not to just get the fullest

final roster on it.

Okay, get out of here.

Have a good one, everybody.

Y'all love birds.

Go do your thing.