CSB 286: WAZZLE NATION BABY

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, Willie, how you doing?

Not too bad.

How are you?

I'm okay.

I'm laughing at a dank meme that Broski just posted.

My body is a machine that turns.

Here comes a new challenger into MR minus 10.

Minus eight.

Yeah,

yeah.

Yo, what's are we Wazzlin out there?

Everyone out there?

Are we Wazzlin?

That's

a everybody out there in Wazzle Land.

How are we doing?

There's a real

incredible combination of game with a relatively small population and a guy who plays it all the time

that they become a complete fixture and thus problem.

Wazzle Nation, baby.

Let's go.

The best.

So those of you who don't know, it's NBC2,

the new collection, Justin Wong is going online as the Wazzler and just beating people off the game.

Like, get out of here.

Stop it.

And then, like, the

Steam reviews and stuff are coming in, and people going, like, went online, fought the Wazzler, fucking ruined the game, ruined the experience.

Dead game.

Dead game now.

People are just hitting him on ranked, all up and down.

And then he's like, wow, I thought people were having fun.

That's crazy, guys.

Damn.

You know, and then Justin is like, then he jumps on.

He's like, yo, let's see what's happening on the Switch version.

He's like, installing the Switch version.

And everyone's like, no, no, Justin, don't do it.

He's like, yeah, Nintendo fans, let's see what's happening over here, you know?

And like, literally as well, like, yeah, like he did a, like, he played a match matches with Max.

And like, at one point it was like, oh shit, Justin was like, oh, wait, this has open mic?

I didn't realize that the mics are open the whole time he was playing because it has just, yeah, it does, yeah, you know, by default.

So it's just like, what were you saying?

What was happening?

He's like, I don't know, but some people probably uninstalled.

Oh, no.

Oh, the Wazzler, man.

Wow.

Like, honestly, honestly, when one man is like, I am the gate, this is not gatekeeping.

I am the gate.

You know,

man just becomes Walmaria.

Just, boo.

It's kind of an incredible.

It's too much, though.

He's like, unequivocally, like, one of the best people in the world at MVC2.

Maybe the best.

On planet Earth and has been forever.

Like, it has never been more his time to shine.

He's only going to get

better

overall by comparison to the average Marvel player who is, oh, cool.

They got Jill Valentine in a fighting game.

I didn't know about that.

I mean, it really is about preserving the legacy.

And what is more part of the legacy than fucking Jae Wong running sets on everybody's ass.

And like, and the best part is in every one of those highlights, I'm always watching him do some shit I didn't know existed.

You know, when I'm seeing him like touch somebody once and then do a team hyper combo with fucking Juggernaut Colossus and

Juggernaut Colossus and a Hulk at the same time and it's like one touch.

Oh, you're dead.

Like I'm like, oh shit, that's a thing, huh?

Yeah, okay.

Like literally just every one of those things, every one of those moments and those highlights is all new shit because just with the entire cast, he does it.

It's kind of incredible.

um

you know so the legacy began back in strive with uh little bussing man

right little

little bussing man

i forgot about little bussy man imagine obama was gatekeeping the streamers you know and he was showing up and just putting the you know he's putting up the shield and like locking it down but now there's something about There's something about the gatekeeper.

Like, it's not, because gatekeeping is usually referred to as like a, like a social dynamic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, hey, you can't sit at our lunch table, essentially.

But there's a real appeal to the gatekeeper being like, no, I'm going to physically prevent you

from entering this space because you ain't shit.

And it's like, it's like, hey, man, I've spent 25 years of my life

getting this fucking good.

And now the game's out.

I'm going to play it.

And that's all I'm going to do.

I'm just going to play it.

I'm going to play it as good as I've learned how to do.

And I'm going to treat every single match dead seriously you know so obviously the the prior clips of Justin playing against children going oh you go learn today you know this is just an expansion of that same philosophy

I there

there's there's like a dark spot in my heart for

angry

upset child learning that the world is the way it is through video games.

I don't know if you've ever seen it.

And I don't know the streamer.

I don't know his name, but he was playing Fortnite.

And some kid on the mic goes, yo, man, you got to let me win this Fortnite tournament.

My mom needs the rent money.

Come on.

And he's trying not to laugh.

He's like, just going totally still.

And the kid is just screaming, I can see you try not to laugh.

It's eyeshow speed.

That was eyeshow speed.

Okay.

Okay.

Why are you laughing at me and it's just like vibrating it's like don't laugh oh my god don't laugh at the homeless child don't do it i'm gonna guess that clip ended in an ear-searing volume spike he just he just stopped playing okay and let and like he like he just stops playing to try not to laugh oh my but it's not

and yeah no there's that jaywong clip of him and it's mortal combat and he's just zoning stuff yeah yeah yeah you go you're gonna learn today you're gonna learn today and this kid's just becoming a Velociraptor.

It's incredible, man.

I mean, quite frankly, look, if you jumped on Marvel and you got wazzled, that's a badge of honor, right?

Yeah.

That is a story to take home.

Clip it.

Upload that shit.

Incredible.

Yeah.

Wow, there's killers out here.

This is crazy.

Yes, I do appreciate.

I mean, this is a

steelball run moment for anybody, but like the race coming to a stop so that Ringo Road again can introduce you to the true man's world.

Like, I appreciate Justin's role in going, nah, nah, nah, nah.

This, it starts here.

Welcome, you know.

It is

important to the legacy, quite frankly, of this game.

And I'm glad to see that that's intact.

Marvel is still Marvel is still Marvel.

I think it's important in nearly all competitive functions that when the new person comes in, they need to be informed at the gap between them and the top.

And equally.

And that gap may be insurmountable.

And equally as important is the name choice so that when the story is told by the unknowing victim, they can go, I just got my ass beat by Lil Bussy Man.

Who the fuck is Lil Bussy Man?

Is that a story you really want to tell?

You know, or just like, this fucking Wazzler is ruining the game.

Your name choice is very important.

It's

you know you can't have people logging in and going like ah it's jay wong

no you know you need to no it's got to be stupid it's great it's got to be dumb as fuck great love that so uh fun stuff there

um what's going on oh my god okay so i've been streaming a lot lately uh so there's a huge amount of games that i played this last week as for what else is going on aside from that um I watched the Emmys

with the wife.

That happened

because the Emmys had Fallout nominated for some stuff, which meant that there was a possibility that Ghoulman and/or

Lucy got up

onto the stage and got to talk about being the ghoul and how they're totally going to kiss.

This was part of the

jerk report.

I'm going to just say that

watching the Emmys for this hyper-specific reality is bound to disappoint because Walton Goggins did not get to go up on the stage because he did not win anything.

In fact, Shogun won everything.

I hear that's really good.

Shogun won everything.

I hear it's really good.

But like, you know, the Emmys is like the most boring fucking thing that's ever existed.

It's just a bunch of Hollywood royalty going around going, I'm so famous.

But at the same time, it does have like a decent, like, I've never heard of this show.

What is this show and why is it winning 40 awards?

Yeah, man, I can barely be bothered to watch an award show for the industry that I actively am a part of and enjoy.

I can't believe you sat and fucking watched.

Oh, I was watching the baby.

Yeah, okay.

Okay.

I will like.

I was watching the baby because Paige had her notes out just in case.

When there's a live performance of some kind that I want to catch, then I'm like, I'll tune in and watch that.

But like, man, award shows.

Yeah, they suck shit.

They're awful.

And like, I'm sitting there.

I'm like, you know, I bet this thing would really pop if they had like a halo trailer right in the middle.

Yeah, I got a hard cut to some fucking clash of fights.

Like, oh, man, give me a new Dragon Age character synopsis right in between the part where Jelly Bean sings about dead old people.

That shit is weird.

I forgot the Emmys did that.

You mean Jelly Roll?

Jelly.

What is

some fat tattooed god?

Yeah, Jelly Roll.

That's Jelly Roll.

Singing a sad song.

I only talk to God when I need a favor.

There's something really wild about not being into popular Hollywood culture and seeing a guy like that.

And not like, is this a fake person?

No.

This is a completely fake person.

No.

So Jelly Rolls, Jelly Roll's a real person.

And he only talks to God when he needs a favor.

That's his deal.

That's the only time anyone ever talks to God.

Who the hell am I?

Who the hell am I?

Yeah.

Jelly Beans is the ex-boxer that punched out Johnny Knoxville.

No, that's Butterbean.

Butterbean.

Oh my God.

It's a different bean man.

Now, Butter Roll, on the other hand.

Y'all need to learn about Butter Roll.

Oh, man.

But yeah, no, I have a huge, huge list of fucking games I I played.

Let's see.

Satisfactory 1.0 came out.

Satisfactory 1.0 is filled with the type of freaks that I'm streaming it.

And I'm like, how many of you are playing Satisfactory 1.0 and not watching the stream?

And you just have me on in the background for background noise when you're running your conveyor belts.

And it was like 99%

of the chat.

Now,

those games don't have any, like, you're not connecting to other people's games in any way.

There's no multi-anything, right?

So, in Satisfactory, you can totally play co-op.

Oh,

okay.

There is co-op buildup.

But that just sounds like a reason to get mad at other people for fucking up your efficiency.

Well,

yeah.

Yeah, okay.

So here's the thing.

You could have up to four players in Satis Factory, and you could be like, all right.

Like, if you have goal-oriented co-op, it can work really well.

So it can be like, I'll use Vel because I played Satisfactory with my friend Vel a little bit.

I'll be like, Vel, can you get the coal generation up and running?

And

that's the only criteria.

I'm going to go work on reinforced steel plates over here.

Then eventually at the end of Vel's job over there, there'll just be a conveyor belt that shoots out coal.

Yeah.

How fucky and ugly and dumb and gross it looks over there doesn't matter as long as eventually there's just a conveyor belt that shoots out coal.

Now, is this a situation where automatically another person is going to be less efficient than if you were to quickly

get that yourself?

No, because like the

part of the weird annoyance and joy of a game like Satisfactory is that you are you are placing every smelter, every miner, every conveyor belt, every power pole, every power generator, every storage device yourself.

And so, actually building out your factory takes like a very significant amount of time and like placing it and making sure all the belts hit correctly.

And then the

fast belts are feeding into the slow splitters so that you don't get a jam and shit like that.

So like, no, it is probably like double the efficiency.

Okay.

Because I can like you can you can go four times as fast with four people.

Because in a much simpler situation, I can imagine having to

split control of playing like SimCity with somebody else.

and very quickly there would be words that couldn't be taken back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why are you building your residential district?

There would be no.

So close to my factories.

There would be words very quickly, you know.

So this sounds like a bad idea on paper.

Yeah, no, as long as you do it goal-oriented, like, you know, a goal would be like, hey, I have all these materials and I need a way to get these materials to the other side of the map.

Can you, friend, build a train system or truck system or drone system just to get this shit from point A to point B.

Use any materials you want, just make it go from one to the other,

right?

And then there's the then like working on like a singular task, like hey, we need to get the all the ore out of this one spot together.

That would be constantly like you'd be overlapping your bullshit onto each other, and it'd be very annoying.

But there's, there's always, there's always more to build upwards, though it is fascinating to see like who

are you familiar with the term of

spaghetti building?

No.

I guess I'd call it.

No.

Okay.

So, I'm, so that if you imagine like a factory, like in a building game, you'd have like your mining node, and then you would have a conveyor that goes to a smelter, and then you'd have a conveyor that goes to a fabricator, and then that goes into a storage box, and it goes one, one, one, one, one.

And then nice line.

Or maybe, like, if the, if, you know, one mining node could like fit five smelters, it'd be one miner and then one two three four five

and then those would go to one two three, you know, etc and it'd be nice and orderly, right?

But the way that you actually build these things are you get like you build like four of them and you're like shit I need eight more and I don't know where to put them

I'll put them over here, but now I have to link them.

So I'm just gonna drag the fucking thing over here.

Bad planning.

And then you do that like on 10 different things.

And now every single part of your fucking thing is underneath and over and going in a turn and a squiggle, and it looks like spaghetti.

Yeah, yep, yep, bad plan.

I mean, shit, bad Protoss pylon placement, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so, when it gets real spaghetti, you run into a logistical problem, which not many games actually help you with, which is or make you deal with, which is

okay, I need

reinforced steel plates.

Where

are

those in this system?

Where is the node?

Where are they going?

Where are they being stored?

And you have to probably jump onto a conveyor belt and run around until you see them going past you and follow your spaghetti to wherever you decided to point it.

Yeah, even so, like the moment I had to expand my

bases in PAL World, I ran into that like placement efficiency problem where you're like, okay, my immediate needs for this base are I need this to be mining for whatever mine, rock, wood, etc.

So you just, you build all that by necessity first.

And then

a couple rounds later, coming back to it and like expanding it outwards, you kind of like, are like, fuck, I have to scrap and redo this all over again because this is super inefficient for where the things are sleeping, where they're eating, and then where they're carrying and doing the labor, et cetera.

And then I imagine, in fact,

Satisfactory.

I was going to say Satisfactory.

Satisfactorio.

Satisfactorio.

Yeah, I know.

But I imagine that these are also the kind of games where you can just take a look online and see people discussing it and immediately realize how insanely inefficient your entire game plan has been till then.

Oh, so Satisfactory has like, because it's all in 3D, it has this great thing where people post videos of the most optimized, possible, perfect, like aesthetically designed.

aesthetically designed, right?

So, like, I'll send you a picture of what, like, oh, that's like a nicely ordered production line with everything all in a row and it splits, right?

But that's not what you end up with, right?

What you end up with because you never know what parts you're ever going to need when you're going through the game, you're you don't know what's needed for what.

You end up with something more like this.

Now, if people who can't see this, I just typed in the phrase

satisfaction and nonsense spaghetti.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're like, like, oh,

where's the copper wire going?

Over.

I got a underpasses and overpasses of shit, just all chaotically placed.

And then your fucking, then your fuse blows, and you realize that you're actually underpowered when everything turns on simultaneously, and you have to build an entire power generation plant, but there's no power sources anywhere near you.

So you got to go like four kilometers over to find a new coal or new nuclear fission.

And then you have to wire the power all all the way back to your fucking abomination and hope it's enough.

Now, show me what the inside of your PC tower looks like for one that you've built yourself.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

It's the same thing.

Let me see.

I didn't build that myself.

Yeah.

You had a nice man putting together the cable.

Yeah, you did.

I want to see the one you built.

I don't want to do it.

How many clips?

How many ties?

You know?

Zero.

Zero.

Literally not one.

Yeah.

Ah, we can squeeze this fucking cable between the hard drive and the

other one and the stand the SSD.

Yeah, so Satisfactory is very satisfying.

It is a pure,

like,

it's like running your own episode of how it's made

for like a hundred to

between a hundred hours and four thousand hours.

And like, it's the kind of game where

you discover a hidden hard drive that teaches you how to make screws out in, like, like right out of an iron ingot instead of using rods.

And you go, oh my God, cast screws.

This changes everything.

I gotta tear the whole thing down.

You have to tear the whole thing down.

And fucking reorient everything.

You know, so.

And how much time and or resources does it take when you have already built up to like rearrange, to tear down and rearrange versus like

discovering for the first time?

Okay, so the question that that is a really, that is like the most fun question to answer about this, which is how much time do you got tonight?

Fuck.

How much time do you have before you're going to go to bed tonight?

Yeah, okay.

Like it is, I remember we were talking about audio engineering a while ago, and you said the phrase, there is no upper limit to how much better an audio engineer can make make your thing sound.

With Satisfactory, it's like there is no upper limit to how much cleaner and more efficient and nice and placed and perfect it can get.

It's your task.

If you want to be crazy, you can start running the Satisfactory calculator.

Oh, boy.

Which will start doing the math for you.

Okay.

But then you still have to place them on the geometry of the world and get the power running.

Now, I say, oh, boy, and react like, wow, as if I'm not opening and running the Ballatro calculator on a tab in the background because there's a Ballotro calculator for optimizing and figuring out which positionings, you know.

Did you hear that they've discovered

a new ballotro hack?

Which one's now?

There's a new secret to Balatro with the misprint joker.

Yes.

If you look at the flickering fucking digits, the misprint Joker gives you the gibberish, is actually telling you what the next drawn card will be.

And if you don't have it in your hand, you can still go to the collection and see it, and it'll still tell you at any time what the next one single card drawn will be.

Fucking no.

Disgusting.

Fucking crazy.

What a game.

Yes.

But no, it is it is

it is the thing that I've I've started turning to when I'm like when I'm on a run that is like super rare and has taken a really long time to get to, and I'm like, you have a bunch of fancy multiplier additional ones, and you're like, I don't know what the good order for these.

And the difference between exactly this one dragged over that way or not, you're like, wait, which would net the most?

Because the math is literally.

I would actually, genuinely, maybe this is kind of spoiling the fun a little bit, but I would actually like it if at the top of your card thing, it gave you like a number at the end.

Like, like,

like, I would like

a total calculator

modifier

to be, to show you at the end of all of these cards, assuming the number you start with is one, what is the number you will get at the end?

Yes, it doesn't have to be an optimize button or anything like that.

No, I just want to be able to move it and be like, oh, that's worse.

That calculate, exactly.

Oh, that's worse.

Yes.

And so that's literally, and if it's the last hand that's going to be the game over or not, then I go, ah, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Somebody in the chat says they think that that's planned for the next update for when it hits the mobile.

Fucking because

the score preview is not the right idea at all.

It's just based on the hand.

And you're just like...

Well, the score preview is worthless after like a couple blinds, man.

Yeah.

Like, it's...

But, but, but.

It's infinite.

And on top of that, like, the whole malt versus bits.

chips is like a balancing act that is actually very, very tight.

And there's a point

where one surpasses the other and it's kind of invisible where that moment is, you know?

So, yeah.

You want to have a little bit of chips, but you malts, you definitely need that malts.

Yeah.

But you need chips to start.

So, anyway, all this to say that I understand pulling out the calculator and, you know, using it sometimes to solve problems.

Personally, personally, I think that's no fun.

And this is going to sound strange because I'm not a big math guy, but I was running,

I was running like, I wanted to make like copper wire and cable, which both come from a copper mining resource and I'm like okay and I just looked at it and I was like okay I need

one one copper node that's pure kicks out 120 ore which on a mark II belt can go into a splitter and split between 260 belts which can split between

four

smelters which go three 30 at a time and then I can rewire the two smelters into a combined merged belt which will kick into us then I'll get copper here and I'll get copper wire there, and then that should work out.

And when you eventually get the math right in your head on that first shot, and you turn the thing on, and all the little pieces go down, all the little things, and merge into all the right belts correctly, and split in all, and it works.

Yes, yes, you're like, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

but most of the time, that doesn't happen.

Most of the time, what happens is you do all that shit, and then one block, one side of the machine is completely full, and the other side is fucking empty yeah okay and you're like i've totally fucked up the load balance here but you're but the downside for that fail state is essentially you got to go do it again and kind of like you know

start over what i'm going to do is i'm going to pull these down audit and i'm going to rewire audit and find the mistake right but you see what i'm describing and this is where i'm like it's not taking the fun out if it's a matter of like what is the what is the state the what is the fail state here and if it's like you're calculating for example your build in a souls game game, and then you're like, so if I have this exact balance between a quality build of this, and then you're like, and so I think this is the right thing to put on this weapon, and then I waste a slab on the fucking wrong weapon.

Ah, that fucking sucks, right?

Right.

And this is the part that makes Satisfactory actually fun to play.

You want to guess what the fail state of Satisfactory is?

That's a trick question.

There is no fail state

all resources are infinite yeah okay um the factory will run forever when once as soon as you get off like biofuel power generation you get to hydro power or something energy is infinite okay resources are infinite all enemies that you use for resources respawn quite quickly there is no uh there is no threshold you must stay up with by a certain time point otherwise the game is over right don't take your time yeah uh if you die you can just go get your stuff or you can just turn off um like loss of materials.

Okay.

You can turn off corpse runs.

Then that's completely understandable.

If I'm playing a game.

There's no timer.

Yeah.

If I'm playing a game that has a lost state and it takes a while to get the perfect iteration, then

do what you got to do.

On top of that is that...

So there's no timer and all resources are infinite.

But also when you dismantle any...

you know, thing that you've built, because you're going to do that a lot, it refunds you 100% of the materials.

Wow.

So you can just be like, oh, this setup is weird.

I shouldn't have six feeding into four.

I should have three feeding into five.

Dismantle the whole thing and then just go buh buh bubbling.

I mean, to be fair, like, I can't think of any, like, it's almost never, I can't think of a time where I enjoy the fact that this game punishes you for trying something else out.

I think full respects should be everything for everything else.

Yeah, every game ever should not punish you for refunding something else.

I don't care.

It seems, it seems.

It makes me anxious at the skill tree because I will make the wrong decision first.

I will.

I fucking will.

Even like selling a weapon back at a reduced rate or whatever, it's like, like, why?

Why just, why not just let people try to have fun?

You know, there's no reason for it.

The way that Satisfactory gives you challenge is really simple, and I really like it because the challenge is time.

So phase one in Satisfactory is you have to make something called

smart plating, and you need to send that into a

what's it called?

Orbital elevator?

No, space elevator.

You know, those elevators that go.

Yeah, okay.

You gotta get, you gotta feed 50 smart plates into the space elevator.

So you have to build your whole starting area in order to make

assemblers, which will take reinforced steel plates and combine them with rotors, which all have multiple pieces, you know, blah, blah, blah.

And there's a a massive chain.

And so by the end of about seven hours, I built a system that would spit out

five smart plates a minute, and you need 50.

So when I did that, I'm like, okay, I did it.

I'm going to clean some stuff up, get some more fuel.

In 10 minutes, they'll all go down the belt and do it, right?

And then it goes, you know, it shoots up to space and you see the space, something in orbit getting built and it unlocks the new tier of of uh technologies for you to research and you're like okay i did it i beat phase one phase two comes in and goes okay

the next step you need a thousand smart plates

and you need two other brand new technologies that are also at the complete end of the manufacturing tree of 10 different things that you haven't.

So now set it and fucking forget it and just go the other direction.

But more than that.

Solve a new problem.

More than that, like, so I started building a coal generator and by the time I finish the coal generation plant or even just the framework for it, I'm up to 300 smart plates just

uploading.

But like for the other two, it's like the same level of difficulty of the smart plates, but yeah, five a minute isn't going to fucking cut it.

Right.

I'm going to need to

raise this whole level of production up, which means you run into new logistical challenges like, well, that means I I need doubling this and double.

Yeah, or that means I need faster miners and

by the time you get there, eventually you hit the point where like I've gotten everything from the first two phases and they are all feeding into the elevator.

I now have a completely separate technological piece of advancement, which means I now have to leave the area I'm in and go and make a completely new factory at the ass end of the map because I need more iron.

Right.

I need more copper.

I need more coal.

But then you're like actually in-game, like eight kilometers away.

And I now need ways to get that shit

over here.

Here comes trucks.

Here comes trains.

Here comes drones.

Here comes tubes, etc.

Or you can just build a 10-kilometer line conveyor belt if you're insane.

But yeah, I guess when you hit that point where you're like, it's not coming out of the ground fast enough.

Right.

Then you need to research how to make it come out of the ground faster or find more.

Is it easy to optimize when you where the slow or missing link is in a chain of command where you're like, okay, the stockpile of

raw material is massive, but the get the getting it from point A to point B is the slow part.

It's actually really, really easy because you look at the system.

Let's assume it's all in the line.

Right.

You will look at it and go, what conveyor belts are completely full?

Yeah.

Right?

This one is like empty.

It's shooting out like one a minute.

Okay.

Right.

That one is so full, the belt isn't even moving.

Right.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Then you click on the smelter or whatever, and it will tell you what percentage capacity is it running at.

Is it running at anything under 100%?

You could throw more chips.

That's the problem.

Right.

Okay.

Or is it running at 100% and it's being fed so much shit that you just can't?

Then you figure out ways to overclock its production.

And I want this smelter running it 200%.

It's funny, right?

It's funny.

Someone earlier, when we were talking about the cost of like refunding things in game and that being like getting back 100%,

it's like, why did, why should it ever punish you?

And someone said immersion.

And that just

but that just made me think it's like, we're so conditioned to walking into a store and selling something back to the store secondhand and getting fucked over so hard in real life that now that being translated to video game economy is like, oh, that's real.

This is believable now.

I'm used to getting fucked over.

Thank you, GameStop Prices.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

Satisfactory without perfect refunding would be an unplayable piece of shit.

I would imagine.

It would be like.

It would be like a zero out of 10.

It would be so punishing.

It would be so mean.

And it would take so long.

Just for changing your mind on something.

I am not into factory games or Sim games or Sim City or anything like that.

That is not my jam.

This thing is incredible.

And it is at 1.0.

So I was about to ask,

is this one of those cases where it's like 1.0, what did we do?

It's the same thing that you just played, except now it's like advertised and out.

No.

Or was there like a big drop?

So like, this is...

You know what?

I'm going to use the 1.0, a singular 1.0 change to like really sell how the people who play this game, like their brains work.

So, in the very beginning, of the very beginning of the game, you need power, but you don't have anything that generates power.

Your hub, like your little base, has what is essentially a leaf burner.

It's called a biofuel generator, but it's you put leaves and twigs and wood into it, and it burns it and it makes power, right?

It's really bad.

It's really inefficient.

So, the second step is what you call, you create what's called a biofuel generator.

And a biofuel generator is the same thing.

You can make as many of them as you want, right?

And

they generate much more power.

They're much more efficient.

And you can feed it leaves or you can feed it wood.

Or

you can break that down manually yourself, like at a crafting bench, into something called biofuel.

Or you can take biofuel, sorry, biomass, or you can turn biomass into biofuel, and each of these burns slower and is more efficient.

But at the end of the day, it's really annoying because every time your factory turns off because you run out of like energy, you have to go out and grab a bunch of sticks and twigs and leaves from the ensuing area and then go and put it into the biofuel generator.

Right.

And if you have 10 biofuel generators, you got to go to each single one and fucking put it in.

And it's like a massive hassle, right?

One of the 1.0 changes they made is they said, Hey man,

we've added conveyor belts to the back of the biofuel generators.

And what this means is that what my old system was, I make five biofuels and I just run it until I can get to coal, and it's really annoying.

And I'm just running out to grab leaves and jam them in the fucking thing, and grab leaves and jam them in the thing.

It's really annoying.

Now, I have a storage bin, and the storage bin has two modes.

One is where leaves go in, and one is where wood goes in.

Both of them feed out to constructors, which turn that into biomass.

Both of those now split, sorry, merge into one thing where all the biomass goes into a third constructor, which turns it into solid biofuel.

And then the solid biofuel splits among four splitters to 16 biofuel generators.

And now I have power.

I did the math on it.

I have power for like 10 hours.

But wait, the previous version of this, you had to manually walk up to

the

Well, that just sounds like a shitty system from beforehand.

Yeah.

But that was because

you really want to get to automated power with coal, right?

So really, really, really minor changes, like...

Did you hear they put a fucking conveyor belt to the back of the biofuel generator

allow for like huge mechanical like other like updates.

The other thing they added in 1.0 is they added like a pocket dimension that you can just build things out in the wild by just pulling like huge amounts of materials from nowhere.

They added the final tiers of technology.

They added the final goals, etc.

That first thing you just described is, it's kind of like shattering what I thought this game was in a way because it's like, hold on a minute.

I thought the whole point of this game was when you're running at peak efficiency, which again, questionably no upper limit to,

You can stand back and do this and watch your thing just go.

But what you're saying is, except that you have to walk around and dump these things in the whole time, even when everything else is going efficiently, which I'm like, well, fuck that.

The whole point is that it needs to be going on its own.

And that's why it's so exciting to get to coal power.

Because when you get to coal power, so the whole, you remember the smart plating thing I said?

That's the first step.

The second tier enables coal power.

And with coal power, you get a mining node and you get a water extractor, and those go into a coal plant, and that will generate electricity automatically forever.

Okay.

All right.

So it's a level of technology thing once you get past the twigs and leaves.

Yeah.

Yeah.

After that, I believe it's oil.

And the thing with oil is that you're piping fluids extremely long distances, which is his own technical problem.

And eventually you get to nuclear, at which point the power generation is crazy, but now you have to deal with exporting nuclear waste to a part of the map you don't want to ever live anymore.

Right.

Okay.

Okay.

So, like,

there is always something you can't automate until you learn how to automate it.

But, and then you go, fuck yeah, I automated it.

Like, at a certain point, transport of your character becomes automated with zip lines and,

you know, vacuum tubes.

But at the highest level, it's not the input that you have to deal with.

It's the output, like waste, for example.

So it reverses.

That's cool.

Okay.

That makes sense.

It's an incredible game.

I would recommend that everybody try it.

It's awesome.

It's super great.

I love it.

It is a perfect,

I don't need to work tomorrow late-night game kind of thing.

And it's out.

It's finally out.

It's been in development for eight years.

And it's been in early access for like

I want to say like six of those.

It's been a bit.

It leaves you with a feeling of

satisfaction.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, that's right.

Well, I actually got myself with that where I'm looking at my

fucking

little 1.0 factory that I built that sucks, but I had all the numbers were right and it was feeding out the things I want.

I'm like, wow, this is really satisfaction.

Boo.

Oh, yeah.

It's been in development for one Concorde.

Eight years.

And it's out now.

Eight years.

Yeah.

How about that?

There's only one type of person I feel bad for because there's three types of people who play this.

The people who are like, oh, that looks cool now.

The people who play it obsessively all the time and have already reached tier five after a week or whatever.

And then the people who picked one of the updates.

There were eight updates, one through eight, and went super hard on it for like 200 hours back in like update five or six.

And now 1.0 is out.

And they're like,

oh, it's kind of not as different as I wanted.

Or.

Well.

Like, you know, the Hades problem?

Yeah.

I played so much of it.

Yeah.

That.

Well, then, but then I guess the question was always losing your progress, right?

Yeah.

Which.

Oh, yeah.

Every

update would.

So the way Sass Factory did it, they'd be like, okay, you're not going to lose your save files.

Every update, you're not going to lose your save files.

But if anything breaks, it's not our fault.

But we moved some of the resource nodes around.

So many of your factories are now pointing at nothing.

Yeah, okay, okay.

So to fucking start over anyway.

All right, so that's Satisfactory.

I can't recommend it enough.

Everyone should try it.

Everyone within the sound of my voice should try it.

I also played a game called Hollow Body.

This is a survival horror game that came out very recently.

That is super interesting.

And it's, it's,

it's, you know, like

wearing your inspiration on your sleeve.

This thing is just wearing the whole jacket.

I mean, I feel Signalis and Crow County

gave us that

aggressively.

Yeah.

So what if this?

So the developer of Hollow Body was like, what if

Silent Hill 2,

but

England and the future.

Okay.

So, like, for example, it looks like Silent Hill 2.

It plays like Silent Hill 2.

The menu sounds like Silent Hill 2.

The first weapon you get is a board with a

stick with a nail in it.

Most influential horror game of all time, huh?

Yeah, it's up there, man.

Yeah.

And

the first level's like an abandoned apartment building.

Like,

it's going for it.

I mean, I'm looking at this footage.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's, you've seen it?

It's like, yeah.

It's pretty good.

Okay.

Uh, I didn't beat it.

My act, I was streaming it.

My fucking internet died in the middle of the stream.

Um, apparently, it's very short.

It's about four hours long, five hours long.

Um, but from what I played of it, I really liked it.

I thought it was really nifty.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Uh, I mean, again, as those two examples that I just listed were like still great stories in their own right,

just the moment-to-moment walking around thing looking identically spoopy to what you know is like not enough of a

discreditor.

It's like what's narratively happening or what's going on mechanically.

Is there anything that is

a monster design or concept that is like particularly horrifying in a brand new world?

The whole vibe and setting is pretty interesting just because it's in the future, like in the far future.

It's like 21 something.

Like the intro looks like Blade runner um and then you're going back to like the destroyed remnants of like modern england so looks like now

uh it's pretty good uh i don't i didn't so i didn't beat it so i don't know if it has any like super massive fucking pop at the end um what is of note though is that

um

I got through the first level, the apartment building, without solving all the puzzles in it.

I was like, I'll keep exploring and then I'll backtrack to get to a key I couldn't get a hold of.

And I finished it and I never went back to the apartment.

And I'm like,

what the fuck does that key do then?

Could it be that it's just like for future revisiting?

Or it could be for like a

like an item or something that I didn't find.

It's very rare for me to get through one of those sequences without actually completing all the

puzzles in them.

Yeah, that's how you drive me crazy.

It's a bunch of, not dead ends, but like loose ends that don't go anywhere.

And then you just move past the moment.

You know?

Like, ah.

I guess if there's multiple ways through the thing.

But in these games,

so far, everyone that I've played has felt like

there is a very clear rail to put this fucking gem into this stupid slot to open that door.

Oh, that, that.

It's it's very, it's a, it's a

strict rail most of the time.

But every once in a while, when you find something that doesn't go along that rail, it's because it's going to lead to more ammo or a cool weapon.

Or a different ending.

Perhaps.

Yeah.

Or Silent Hill 1.

Or some, or like some healing items or something, you know?

Yeah.

Okay.

So that game's cool.

Check it out.

It's short.

It's cheap.

It's cool.

Support cool PS2 games.

I am very into the fake-ass PlayStation 1 and PlayStation 2 aesthetic.

I think every game...

Yeah, fuck it.

Every game should be a fake PS2 game.

Fuck it.

Speaking of fake PS2 games, did you play Kenitsugami Path of the Goddess?

Not yet.

I was curious to take a look.

Just last note on that final bit, though.

Isn't there like a

just massive plague of horrible, shitty horror games that are all trying to ape

Silent Hill and RE that you used to shitstorm all the time?

And, like,

so there's only one good one, rarely, of a pack of bad ones.

I would say that horror had the worst batting average of any genre.

That's the impression I got.

Like,

there were

so

many

that thought they were hot and they were very bad.

It's wild.

Straight to DVD and Sellers level fucking.

Yeah, the shitstorm was like built on it.

And I think it's because,

like, a huge proportion of people don't understand literally even one thing about horror at all.

And they go, well, we'll put a scary monster in it.

And yeah, it's like, it's, you know.

But the ones that have been coming out lately, your fake-ass PlayStation 1 and PlayStation 2 games, have been pretty excellent overall.

I mean, you mentioned Signalis and Crow Country.

Those are great.

Yeah.

So I mean, has it like dried up a bit and now we're coming to the corner?

Oh, no, it's actually worse than it's ever been.

Oh, okay, cool.

It's way worse.

Way, way worse than it's ever been.

And part of that is our fault.

Not necessarily you, but content creators getting jump scared for the lulls has created just

an infinite amount of horror games that are so scary.

Wooly's being attacked by the sun.

Apologies, everyone.

Have you defeated the sun?

I've been defeated.

Handily.

I am one of the greens after all.

Yeah, it's it's true.

I was thinking about that when you got up.

I was like, how could he be attacked by the sun if he's one of the greens?

Shouldn't that power you?

Yeah, so okay.

It continues to be worse than ever, but I guess like.

Oh, yeah.

No, horror.

Horror is like, like, it has the worst batting average of any game genre.

Okay, well, but the good ones are really good.

Cream rises to the top, then that's cool.

You know?

Yeah.

So speaking of fake-ass PlayStation 2 games Knutsugami Path of the Goddess which I will now call path of the goddess every time because I have a really hard time saying Knutsugami

is a fake fucking PlayStation 2 game from Capcom they sent me a code

and I expected nothing from this game I was like Okami tower defense Okami Tower Defense sounds like the shittiest thing ever.

And I'm hoping that

And I hate it.

All right.

I think it looks all right.

And

that's how I felt when I walked in.

And I came away with

an emotion that I feel is unique to people who stream or play games on YouTube, which is, oh, shit, this game's really good.

Damn it.

Like, fuck.

Aw, crap.

Uh-oh.

Oh, it's actually really good.

Damn it.

Again,

always a sucker for the art style choice of like, you know, Yu-Ki-O-A,

old paintings and brushstrokes.

But then there's like a combat system to it as well.

Yeah, so the combat system is pretty simple.

Like you have

lights into heavies, and then you have like a, you know, a special move, which is like, you know, a

big flame swipe with your sword that, you know, knocks enemies down, or

the one that I was using, which is like it it you cheer and all the little dudes that help you

become like move twice as fast and attack twice as fast

right

and yeah it's it's like Capcom Pikmin people are saying in the chat and the part that that kind of got me and it's it's

it's something I was I've said before, it's like, if I play anything that's tower defense at all,

I need the tower defense part to feel as good as watching a hundred Zerglings hit a wall of Protoss cannons.

Right, right, right.

Like, that is my

baseline.

Yeah.

Um, annihilate the wave.

And so I start with, you know, you start with like two or three.

Like every level, you get one more dude, at least in the early game.

So by the end of the time I played, I had five dudes.

And I got access to

axemen, archers, and

like a what's he called?

An ascetic, like a monk that doesn't attack and he just puts this huge slowdown area.

So like he'll pulse the ground and the enemies will basically freeze in place.

I'm like, okay.

And damn it, the animations and like general feel of your boys moving around and shooting these demons coming out of the wall is really satisfying.

Okay.

Because like the melee units are like running around and fighting guys and then returning to their placement point and like defending it so and archers have a lot of really good animations and good sound effects on them it's not just placing a tower that shoots a laser out but it's actually no you're you're placing a dude doing stuff yeah yeah you're placing dudes and then if anything changes you can move the dudes at any time nice okay and uh any any part of your defense that is getting a little overwhelming your character is the strongest character on the field because they're they're like

a basic action game hero and you can clean up the edges or a boss that comes in or the buffing type enemy that comes through.

My brain goes towards

fucking

Jack Black.

It is totally like Brutal Legend.

Brutal Legend.

My brain goes to Brutal Legend.

So

do you so

fun fact when I was streaming that I was talking to the chat about Brutal Legend a lot.

Okay.

Okay.

And Brutal Legend has two problems.

Brutal Legend takes about 15 hours to

punk you and let you know, by the way, this is going to be a real-time strategy game for the whole rest of the game.

And you go, I didn't want that.

And it goes,

okay, there is an older example.

You can also go to the PC game Sacrifice, which I bring up from from time to time i could but i've never played that okay um rts where you're on foot

yeah

and the second problem brutal legend has and i think everyone who played it can agree is that it decides hey we're gonna be an rts game you go

okay and then tim schaefer leans in and goes and it's gonna be a really bad rts game too and you're like no

um the difference here is that uh the controls in kinitsugami pathogatis uh feel good uh it lets you zoom out and you have a really good, wide view of what's going on.

And then you can zoom in to when you actually use your character to fight things.

It has a little base building mechanic that happens afterwards.

Every level has an accompanying boss fight.

And the bosses are all really interesting.

And they all, every single level and every single boss has a set of challenges after you beat it to see if you can beat it better.

Okay.

So, like the very first boss is, you know, a big spooky demon and you beat him up and like, okay, done.

And then it's like, but can you beat him under a minute?

And I tried a couple times and the answer was no.

Actually, beating him under a minute is really hard until I extended longer and I went, you know what I can do?

I can use the perfect respec option this game offers you for upgrading your units to pull all the upgrades off all my units and put them all on the axemen and completely max them out and go into this boss fight with just fully maxed out axemen

and then i got them in like 25 seconds sick and then i went oh that's a really bad setup for the mission in the cave so i'm gonna pull all the off upgrades off the axemen and put them on the archers and then

keep it do that

okay okay that's fun that's cool and then when you um and then when you uh beat any of the challenges, you get just a little bit more upgrade juice.

So there's a mechanical reason to do them.

It's not just a point.

And are those upgrades and resources you're putting across your team also applicable to yourself?

No.

It's just for your boys.

You have your own completely separate upgrade mechanic.

Okay.

Which is like items.

Like you'd equip items on your character that give you buffs or increase your health or increase your damage or what have you.

And I mean, again, to go back to the Brutal Legend bit, are you meant to be

doing most of the

damage yourself or is the placement of your shit?

The very first mission, like, so your character is like

two, three, four times as strong as a generic X-Man, right?

But when you have six dudes, you've gone from doing 50% of the damage to doing 30% of the total damage.

And then when you have eight dudes, you're now down to 20%.

And when you have 10 dudes, you're now down to like you're a powerful unit, you're a hero unit, essentially, but you have to have been placing your boys correctly, or else you're just going to get completely.

Management affects the outcome more than

your fighting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

And

the game looks incredible.

The enemy designs are like, it's very, very Ukio, like Okami demon kind of painterly stuff, but it's like very hand-explicit.

So like it, there's a, you know, how like

Gurun Lagan used like faces as like its primary design aesthetic?

Here it's hands and fingers.

Okay.

And so they're really, like, it's a lot of enemies holding like their hands against their eyes, but like they're melded into their face in like a nightmare.

They're called the seethe.

The enemies are called the seethe,

which like just translated into our modern millennial jargon really badly.

Nice, nice.

Because

you just keep, you're just trying to cope and mauld all over them.

I mean, samurais are literally maulding when they shave their top knot little hole.

Yeah.

But yeah, no, it's.

It's really good.

I thought I was going to hate it, and I came away from it annoyed because I want to play more of it but i also want to run my conveyor belts satisfactory i remember when we were talking about it on reveal and uh you said it wasn't didn't look your speed but no that's cool i am absolutely certain that uh path of the goddess was the game that uh kept leaking out as the a new onomucha game is coming okay

i mean like over and over and over and over and i will say like you know credit to them the like introduction of a new ip like they they pushed it and they went hey we have a new thing check it out.

And,

well, okay, I haven't seen a massive push like since, but I guess that's what currently is happening by sending out the codes and stuff.

But Capcom announced it has over 500k players, so it's doing okay.

Yeah, but like, you know, it's not a bomb.

You want, you want, like, if it's a good new thing that they're trying out, you want that to get an honest shot if it's solid.

Yeah.

Um, the last thing about that is that, um, so you get you, I don't know if it's a pre-order or whatever the fuck, but like, there's a bunch of Okami like visual effects in the game.

So you could be like, hey, do you want to play in an Amaterasu costume?

Do you want to replace the princess with Waka?

Whoa.

Which is smart.

They look like shit.

They look way

worse than the default stuff.

So they headed off at the pass the idea everyone would have, which is how cool would it be if Okami crossed over with some of this aesthetic.

And it looks terrible.

It looks god-awful.

And I do appreciate because this is like a weird game and it's like Samurai Tower Defense, which is not everyone's cup of tea.

There is a demo you can just go play.

Oh, nice.

Okay.

Yeah.

So, like, you can, it'll let you play a couple levels, and you can be like, either, oh, darn, I think I really like this, or

I hate it.

It's really screwed up that I actually just said you might play the demo and go, oh, darn, I think I like this.

Like, enjoying this game is like a genuine,

like, oh, shit.

I hate that I like this.

But I guess that's how jaded I am towards tower defense.

Like, I fucking hate most tower defense.

I haven't enjoyed a lot.

I don't go back to it that as much, but it's still like, yeah, it can be fine.

It can be background to other things too.

And I like the idea of, again, that the towers are units.

That sounds like a huge, fun thing to do.

And you can pause it at any time if you move your boys around, right?

There's no like

I was talking about this with RTS games recently, and I'm like, Age of Empires 4 came out relatively recently.

It's a, you know, in your single-player RTS game, just hit space bar and it pauses.

And you go, okay, well, I'll move my units over here and I'll move my guys over here.

It's like a Starcraft-style RTS, but it just has a full pause button on

the spacebar.

And

it's not that I'm old and I'm too slow.

I always always wanted a fucking space bar in those games.

Like, when I'd play Warcraft, I would like massively overproduce units so that if I completely fucked it, I could just have, oh, here's another batch of units.

Here's just another batch of units.

I don't have to think too hard about it.

I have famously said many a times that the RT part of the title is often my issue with all of these things.

I have so much more fun when I can like stop and think.

Yeah.

But yeah, no, that game's cool.

That's a Knitsugami Path of the Goddess.

I'm also now stuck in a loop thinking about an alternate timeline where Brutal Legend came out and it was just a simple hi-fi rush style action game and that's all it was.

You mean the game that they like told everyone it was going to be and the demo told you it was going to be

and the game that every single person wanted.

And the high likelihood that that would have gotten maybe two or three sequels of just like, hey, cool.

It's that Jack Black musical action game series with Lemmy being a cameo in one game, and then in the next game, you get someone else, and you just kind of fucking, you know, and it just becomes this thing of like, yo, let's let's homage metal while having a fun little action game, and that's all you needed.

You know, that concept, I know you use this concept sometimes.

It's like, you know, sometimes you don't want to do the next thing or the simple thing or the sequel thing.

You, you, like, sometimes audiences don't know what they want, right?

And I'm sure that's what Tim Schaefer would say if you asked him about, like, hey, so why'd you guys make it like a real-time strategy game?

It's like, oh, we thought we'd try something new and different and not what people expected from like a rock and roll game.

And that was a massively stupid fucking decision.

You should have made the game everyone thought that game was going to fucking be.

Even if it was mediocre, we wouldn't be cursing its legacy decades later.

I mean, like, I think one of the issues is I could imagine Lemmy himself playing.

for the first couple missions and then going, what?

You know, hitting the, you want me to do what?

And fucking, ah, fuck this, right?

As opposed to just running around, swinging the axe, blowing shit up, and fighting a boss, you know?

Like, I don't know if you and I have ever talked about Brutal Legend, but like, I feel like they should have hit a part in the prototyping phase where they're like, well, how are you going to control your units?

Well, you'll be on the ground and then you're, then

Jack, I don't know his fucking name, Jack Black will fly up, and then you can kind of control them with like a really, really terrible mouse interface that's using the controller and the camera.

And then someone should have said, Yo, that sucks as your primary gameplay.

Don't do, throw it away.

Throw it away.

It's bad.

Again, hi-fi rush is right there now.

We could point to it and go.

Yeah, no, actually, that's really sad because now we're like, hey, you know, you could have made this music 15 fucking years ago.

Yep.

You know, that's it.

Anyway, cool.

I hate Brutal Legend.

Great soundtrack.

Love the theme.

Love the setting.

Love the art style.

Love all, like, the, you know, um,

what's that guy's name?

That guy that I love.

He was in Rocky Horror, and then he was in Red Alert, and he says, Space.

Um, Tim.

Tim.

God damn.

Frankenfurter.

Curry.

Frankenfurter.

Curry.

Tim Curry.

Tim Curry's there.

And he's great.

He plays the devil.

Nice.

Which, of course, he fucking does.

What else?

Hey, last night I got sent a code to play Inotria, The Last Song.

It's an Italian souls game.

It's about putting on masks and art and stuff.

It's terrible.

Bap it a boopy.

It's yeah, Bapada Boopy.

Save your.

I played it for 40 minutes,

ended my stream after an hour, and then went on Twitter and went and said, save your money for pizza.

Past the souls.

We got it.

Oh, yeah.

All right.

The movement and the general hitting the buttons doesn't feel very good.

The tutorial immediately slams you with, like, hey, make sure to enhance your weapons with one of four elements so that you can do real damage to enemies.

And I went, I don't want to do that.

And it's like, well, you'll die then.

And

like,

this enemy does...

This enemy is purple.

That means you have to enhance your weapon with like a

special attack to make it do red damage.

So fucking do purple.

Golden axe beast rider hours?

Okay, hold on.

We're doing beast rider hours on the game design.

You know how you can tell something's in bad shape?

So people who played the demo said that that elemental stuff was not in the game

in the demo.

And so people were like

having a better time with it.

Yeah.

I think.

that it's possible that you have massively overthought your elemental like attack system.

If I'm going to send this to you so woolly could you describe what you're looking at

uh i see a wine cup i see four icons um

and i guess this is like button placement or this is the type chart for what beats what yeah it is this four icons in a diamond formation um i i can't quite tell if one is beating the other or if it's okay so it's going clockwise it's a sharing

yeah okay so what it's telling you is that fire beats wine, wine beats plague, plague beats light, and light beats fire.

And once you unlock the game's element system, that's on the screen 100% of the time because it's so important, they can't ever let you forget.

And after fighting like the Black Knight equivalent was just a normal mob that had the wine power, which meant since I didn't have any fire power, I couldn't beat it up correctly.

I'm like, this is terrible and I hate it and it would be better if it's gone, but it's so important

that that fucking type chart thing is on the screen 100% of the time.

And I just, I, I, I was playing it and I uttered the words, this game is not good enough otherwise for me to put up with this.

It's really unfortunate.

And I just turned it off.

It's really unfortunate when something like resistances and weaknesses is just misunderstood as to like how to make that fun in a game.

Because it can, the game otherwise could be totally fine, but you just find a way to be like, no fun allowed right now, actually.

And like, you know, and you, and you kind of just miss that it sucks when you have to like take away options from people instead of like allowing them to do better by optimizing, you know?

Hey, here, here's one for you.

Okay, let's take a very famous souls example.

When you fight Radon and the Radon festival, and you and all your boys, you know, the whole like, you know, gigantic fight, right?

You can just fight him.

You just fucking fight him, right?

You have all your summons, and you're all fighting him.

Now, he's weak to Scarlet Rot because that makes fucking sense, right?

And so, if you want an easier time, you can hit him with Scarlet Rot.

It's not, hey,

I hope you have Scarlet Rot or else he's not going to take any fucking damage.

Right.

Like, that's the, that's it.

Or, or, like, are you fighting this electric knight with your electric spells?

That's probably not going to be not as effective.

Yeah.

And like, you know, like, okay, cool.

Got it.

You know, but you, like, that's it.

You have your, your, your,

yeah, anyway, like, Pokemon style type charge.

Yeah, I see people say Pokemon and SMT.

I'm like, those are turn-based RPGs, man.

That is the gameplay.

It's different.

But also, like, Inotra doesn't feel good enough, like, moving around and attacking for me to

bother to learn this.

Like, Liza P felt immaculate within seconds.

Okay.

Liza P feels better than a lot of Souls games, actually.

It feels incredible.

So, yeah.

France,

France/slash Korea.

Thumbs up.

Italy.

Well, until you said what those icons were, I certainly wasn't going to be able to guess, but I mean, I could have

depended on it.

One of them could have been tomato.

One of them could have been tomato.

And last but not least, I went and played through all of the co-op missions in Space Marine.

So there's the campaign, which has co-op, but then there's a dedicated set of co-op missions that are primarily for co-op, and they have their own upgrade system and perk system and weapon unlock system.

They are shorter missions.

So the like the main missions in the campaign are like an hour and a half, maybe two hours long.

The co-op missions are 30 to 40 minutes long because you're supposed to be playing them in you know in a row like bamboo ba ba um they're really really good

and in particular you fight a better set of bosses in the co-op missions than you do in the campaign

Like there are more bosses and they are better different bosses

in the co-op stuff than the campaign.

Yeah, I saw some gameplay of like basically someone that was just like jumping into the air, jetpacking, and then axing down on opponents and like not shooting at all.

And I was like, huh, they could actually do that.

In the campaign, you play as like a fairly generic guy who will at some point get access to a wide variety of weapons that don't fit into any particular class.

Right.

In the multiplayer and in the co-op stuff, there's a class system.

So like the assault class is I have a jetpack and a melee weapon and a pistol.

Okay.

But I'm trading having a primary weapon, like primary ranged weapon, for the ability to jetpack around and do like death from above all over the place.

And in the co-op, you can continue to upgrade that character to get all sorts of benefits.

One of the ones was if you do a perfect dodge with the jetpack, it regenerates your

jetpack charge.

So you are just mobile, mobility,

going all over the place.

But it has a difficulty scaling system on four difficulty levels, kind of like a Left 4 Dead or like a Dark Tide, where you need to increase your character's power and upgrade your weapons to continue to go.

So, now that I've done every single thing in Space Marine,

that game is incredible.

Like, that is a really great campaign, a really

good, if simple, PvP experience with bad servers, which apparently they're working on, and a

completely separate,

different game that's the co-op stuff

that would kind of be a pretty good game on its own.

Hmm.

And they're all in the one package.

All three different.

Yeah, you were mentioning last week that it's basically three different games and they're all three different eight out of tens are combining to make like a nine or a nine and a half.

Like, it is excellent.

Is this the best Warhammer-related game?

Oh, that's so controversial.

That's so hard to say.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

People would say the only, okay.

Vermintide 2,

Space Marine, Mechanicus,

and Dawn of War 2, Retribution, and Total Warhammer 2 are like the five best ones.

Vermintide was talked about for a while.

Bolt Gun's also really good.

And Rogue Trader is good, but it's not done.

But yeah, so there's like 400 Warhammer games, and I just listed like the best ones.

Like

there are like 10 incredibly excellent Warhammer games.

And then there are a lot of other.

There are a lot of other Warhammer games.

Many others.

But yeah, no, this is excellent.

Okay.

Like, this is a really fucking great shooter.

The multiplayer feels like the good times of Gears of War.

And the co-op is fun.

It has a huge amount of progression and cool little doohickeys about it.

Yeah, it's great.

I loved it.

I guess

servers are shit.

I guess it's probably also relative depending on the genre and stuff.

Like if you want team multiplayer versus the horde or third-person shit or, you know, all that stuff.

So, you know, the way that it tends to work out with Warhammer is that each genre will have one really good one.

Like, if you want a real-time strategy game, you're better off playing Dawn of War 2.

If you want

a Total War game, you would play Total Warhammer 2 or 3.

If you want an action game, you would play Space Marine.

Right, right.

Etc.

If you want an XCOM game, you could play Mechanicus or Chaos Gate.

If you want to play football, you'd play Blood Bull 2.

I think.

I'm not sure.

And when would I boot up the Saturn and pop in Space Hulk?

You wouldn't.

Like, those games being worth playing is a relatively new phenomenon.

Okay.

They used to be like universally terrible.

But yeah, no, Space Marine 2, good.

Also,

I will reiterate it.

You can really dress up your little Space Marine dolls real pretty.

I spent a bunch of time making

all my guys look like pre-Heresy Death Guard, and they came out great.

I was very happy about my pretty little Space Marine dollar.

Is that like a base that you can like rotate them on, and like actually, like

is it simulating?

So it's not, it doesn't, it doesn't include like a miniature look.

It is like you are going.

So, what it is, is you go into the,

you know, like your class selector kind of screen but instead you just head over to the appearance tab

and in the appearance tab you have uh

two sets of options one is what do you want the pieces on your armor to look like do you want to have a helmet on do you want to have the backpack covered in tabernacles do you want to have uh writing all over your shit do you want to have solid gold

you know whatever right the the pieces and then you go one tab over and goes well what do you coloring to be and step one is do you want to be one of the existing 40 fucking whatever chapters that are in the game just ready to go?

Right.

But if you don't want that and you want to customize it or change it in any way, you go down to the custom coloring section and it goes, here's your base.

And you set your base.

And then it goes, do you want to create new rules?

And new rules are, I want the base here, but I want the helmet like this.

Okay.

And you can combine all of those in any which way you want

to make your prettiest boy.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of,

I think people are calling it the crayon eaters chapter of the Space Marines, which is the motherfucking Lego Roblox looking freaks with the bright red arm and the bright yellow arm and the green leg and the blue leg.

I mean, that's the price for freedom, right?

Are you gonna?

It is.

It literally is.

That's like Armored Core needs to allow you to do everything, and that means eyesores included.

So fuck it.

I do really like that every single single time I've seen them mentioned, I see people say, oh, it's the crayon eaters.

Like, that's a fucking chapter.

But yeah, that's been pretty much it this week.

I should mention every single game I talked about, I got sent to free code this week.

I didn't buy any of these.

So take that under consideration.

Except for Anotria, because

I got sent to free code and I couldn't play it for more than 40 minutes.

That's bad.

If I had bought it,

I would have been

probably a little more scathing.

Don't buy it.

Oh, no, not Satisfactory.

I bought Satisfactory on Early Access like

fucking four years ago.

That game's good.

You should play it.

Make the conveyor belts touch.

Yeah.

That's the kind of thing.

Well, there needs to be an opening in my life for that style of game.

That style of game is a great game to do one stream of ever.

Because I did one stream of it and people were like, what is this?

And then I did the second one.

And everyone's like, we're playing with our dolls in the background also.

Yeah.

If you want to check out my show this week, it's twitch.tv slash patstairs at.

I'm also on Adeptus Ridiculous this week.

Bricky, Shai, and DK invited me over to talk about getting into Warhammer and what gets people into Warhammer with a side of Space Marine 2 just came out.

This week is Plucky Squire, Dead Rising, and Frostpunk.

So go check that shit out.

All right.

Not a ton on my end.

It'll go pretty quickly.

But

the highlights started Phoenix right.

I heard good things.

Yeah, managed to get out of that first stream, throat intact.

That's good.

So, you know,

the Gluck Luck has been preserved.

Is this the part where I mentioned that I should have told you ahead of time that those first three games are essentially all one big story?

Oh,

I mean, I did, I already know that they were interconnected

these ways and stuff.

Like, yeah, I've every time I've talked to people about it and or heard about it, it's always been like, you know, the overarching narrative of like the

trilogy and stuff.

So you're fucked now.

You got to do them all.

Yeah, we'll see.

You know, I don't got to do shit,

actually.

Turns out when I wake up in the morning,

I don't have to do anything.

You know, it's funny.

I say that to, I say that to Paige.

Like, Paige was

making breakfast this morning, and

she was like, well, it's the least I can do is make breakfast because you're going to go to the podcast.

I'm like, That's really sweet, honey.

But remember, the least you can do is fucking nothing.

Like, the least anyone can do in any situation is fucking nothing.

You could just do nothing.

But no, it's

been just a fun little bit.

And going into that as well, like I definitely had,

we had these moments of like, okay, so the characters are on screen, they're doing their thing, and for maximum voice preservation, just dry line reading would be the smart thing to do.

Yeah, but if we're here now and we're doing it, then you gotta do it, right?

What's the point of doing it if you're not gonna do it well?

If it ain't flashy, then what's the point?

Hey, listen, anything worth doing is also worth doing badly.

There you go, but um,

full full effort, so you know, be it, be it uh uh Larry Butts or or whatever evil villains are going to be coming and cracking on the stand, you know?

Yeah,

how far did you get case-wise?

We got to,

I think,

the first two cases, I think.

So basically the intro, the Larry Butts case, and then the immediate one with the introduction of Maya and me, and then like

to be continued on that.

So

yeah, no, I mean, it's it's you know, it's it's as fun and squirky as I recall, although it is hilarious to kind of like, going into it now, to have the little extra bit where you're like, yo, Phoenix Wright hates a working woman.

That dude is not a fan of a lady who might be out there making some money, you know, running her business.

There's been at least like two or so little conversational ellipses, you know, where he's been like, but Larry, Larry, she was a,

and you're like,

and what, Phoenix?

And so she did.

So she deserved it?

These games were written in the mid-90s.

So, you know, those are powerful ellipses, you know.

These are Game Boy Advance games.

They sure were.

And, you know,

and all that is

great.

And, you know, I think it's as as well coming into it.

Like,

I've said it in advance, and I can see here

now live as well, that it's like, yeah,

I'm going to save frequently and go about it in a, you know, press everyone and sort of see what's going on kind of way.

But I expect there to be very bullshit leaps of logic where it's like, ah, you drew the right conclusion, but you are not doing so at the same time that the game wants you to, you know, or

there is no clear answer here.

Therefore,

you actually have to kind of just wing it in some cases and see what see what sticks.

Throw some shit at the wall, right?

There's clear, it's, it's, it's, it's very clear.

And like, um, just the energy I get from people doing kind of what you just did with that face of like,

I'm like, yeah, I know, I know.

The game's going to be full of shit.

So

I'm preemptively walking forward with my shield up and we'll see what happens.

It's not that the game is full of shit.

It's that the average adult is smarter than Nick.

Okay.

So, like, I ran into it maybe once a game where I was just like screaming at my DS.

Oh my god, Phoenix, fucking get it together.

Okay.

It's obvious they use the fucking candlestick in the fucking dot in the kitchen.

Like, I'm showing you the candlestick, Phoenix.

Fucking connect the fucking dots.

And he's like, I don't see how that has to do with anything.

And then the judge goes, you're stupid.

Right.

And, you know, one of my long-standing annoyances with Naruto when I was watching it was I went, I, like, back in the day, a long time ago, I was very excited starting that show.

And then it got really annoying when every character and everyone and everything in the world caught on to what was happening faster than he did.

Oh, yeah, I know.

That's.

and it would, that's really.

And it was tons and tons and tons of moments of everyone going like, da da da da da da da da.

And he's just going, what's going on?

And it would constantly be.

I'm actually stupid and uneducated.

Help me.

Right.

And then, like,

the whole story or show or event or fight would have to slow down to his pace.

And I'm just like, oh, my God.

So I very much do remember that.

But now, coming at this from the future, knowing that this is part of the legacy of what people talk about with these games, I'm just like, yeah, man, hit me with it.

Let's see where it fucking let's see if I can figure it out.

Every now and then, man, you're just going to have to save your game and present every single fucking piece of evidence in your inventory.

And then Phoenix will be like, Because of the autopsy report, which has nothing to do with what we're talking about, that's how I know it was in the kitchen.

And you're like, one, that's wrong.

And two, you could have just said it was in the kitchen, Nick.

Ah, what are you doing?

But did you see that there's an updated autopsy report?

Okay, so I want you to know.

I want you to know.

So that to have fun with that.

That happened.

So that happened

in the case, in the first case we did.

And then when I was just like throwing up gifts of like fun things for the, like, oh, we're streaming live.

It's just a shot of like Edgeworth going, but the updated autopsy report and Phoenix just fucking punches him and knocks him out.

So

I hope you like updated autopsy reports.

Good shit.

Yeah, that's funny.

It's also really wild.

Like, you have enough of Edgeworth right now to just be sitting there and be like, this motherfucker is making shit up.

So,

like, this is nonsense.

So, that's actually one thing I don't know about.

I'm like, Edgeworth, as the guy who's like the rival, like,

you know, counter attorney here.

And

he's the setup is the defense and everything, but like he has his own games and all that.

I'm kind of like, huh, I don't know if he's like a anti-hero or like if he's like a venom of sorts, or is he just straight up like, nah, bro, I'm covering for evil.

Like, I don't know what the character of this man is, right?

As of Ace Attorney One,

hey,

i put dudes in jail that's my job right i'm gonna do it right so i'm we're gonna have to find out you know i suppose but like knowing that he gets his own spin-off games i have to imagine that likely he's not just someone where you're like oh god fuck this asshole this piece of shit sucks the whole time you're using him you know like in ace attorney one i get the feeling that edgeworth is being written as the prosecutor is like well why would he even be on trial if he wasn't guilty right right which is japanese crime, criminal system, you know, to a T there.

Um, but I guess, yeah, the question is going to be like, oh, and what lengths are you going to go to to make sure that you never lose a case?

You know,

yeah.

Doesn't matter what happened or what's right or what's wrong, right?

So we'll see.

We'll see.

But no, fun so far.

And

yeah, I think we're just going to, you know, call it as we see it on the voices and how to go about it.

Evidence is, I'm also expecting there to be things where it's like you might not have the detail in the moment in the courtroom, but a conversation in the investigation phase had a line that you're going to have to zoom in on and focus on and stuff.

The best thing that I can say about Phoenix, right, particularly in terms of streaming it, is that that game, regardless of how it looks, is a straight fucking line.

Yep.

It may appear that you can diverge in any way.

No.

No, it is a straight line.

It is A to B to C to Z.

It is nice to basically have a visual novel where I just have a mouse and I can just kind of like relax and drink some water and go through it.

So yeah, so far so good.

The

oh, also every case is going to be longer than the last one.

Duly noted.

Like every case is like 25% longer than the last one.

Okay.

Okay.

Which is something they pretty much keep throughout every game, where it's like the first case is your tutorial and it's very short.

Well, I think I prefer that than, because I'm not sure how the hours were going to be padded, and I think I'd prefer that than the investigation parts being padded out and taking longer, you know?

Because

the courtroom.

Oh, no.

When I say the case, I mean like the whole fucking thing.

Oh, the whole chapter.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

So the investigation and court are like,

I mean, it depends on how good you are at either, right?

Because like I got stuck on the investigation parts a couple times.

That meant it ran long.

Yeah.

I mean, it's so far, it feels as if, like, if you go to the right place and make the right thing happen, you don't have to go look at the other places you didn't go.

No, no, if you get what you need, you're good.

You can just re-line it.

Yeah.

So, yeah, that started.

Shoutouts to Quiet Viking made a

fun intro as well.

Super amazing.

So that came out.

Really cool.

Yeah, I also expected to finish off Dino Crisis by the time we started, but it's a little longer than we thought.

So we're in the last chapter going into it now.

So that should be wrapped up in about one more stream.

But

yeah, it is kind of...

It is interesting to see how, like, okay, they're like, okay, the end part of this game, new dinosaurs get introduced.

And now the whole node system, if you would, of like boxes of resources, it's like you can't get enough.

They're handing you so many.

And they're just like, load up and go for it.

Do what you like, like go nuts and spend these how you want to.

Hey, you know how you've been really careful the whole game?

What if you stopped?

Yeah.

What if you

didn't have to be careful?

But the problem is that the moment you kill a dinosaur, it doesn't stay dead.

Well, that's why you need to beat the entire game in one sitting.

Yeah, I guess, right?

Like, like, actively saving and stopping is like a detriment because you have to waste more ammo to handle respawned enemies that otherwise wouldn't be there, you know?

Yeah.

So

anyway,

that's got about one more session.

Yeah.

Y'all mad about Naruto?

Did that ruffle some some Jimmies?

Some people got rustled out there.

That's bro.

You fuckers are old.

That's stop it.

Enjoy it.

You're too old to be getting mad about your cartoons.

Time skip Boruto is a thing.

He's an adult now.

Did Boroto's dad have another child?

He died.

I think he did.

I think he did.

There's a little ghost of another child next to him.

Yeah,

got to and through the

what's it called?

The Fissure in Elden Ring.

And

way down at the bottom of that, quite interesting.

That's a fucking A-plus souls area.

What an incredible god design.

What a really weird, creepy.

Just so eepee.

Yeah.

Good stuff with Saint Trina.

Really nicely just disturbing.

And the more you stare at it, the less you understand what you're looking at.

It makes less and less sense the more you figure out what, wait, where's the button?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Great job on that, especially with the whole discarded bit.

And hey, you know, little did I know we'd be fucking snooze-cucking

some dudes out here.

But

you knew.

It was a weird turn of events.

But yeah, that was a great, that was a great, nice little vertical.

That is like one of the best areas in the DLC, especially since you just find it and it's just a hole in the ground.

And you're like, I wonder what's in this hole in the ground.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

And the history of vertical levels is very hit and miss.

Yeah.

So going down is better than going up.

It is.

Yes, it is.

There's a detail that I picked up on at the very bottom, which was

some, you always get the same stupid question, which is like, Do you think that the DLC is gonna fucking connect it to Dark Souls?

Do you think it's gonna?

But at the very, very, very, very bottom, that room where you fight the knight,

that is the same color palette, the same floor, the same stalactites, the same ambiance, the same thing as where you fight Madeir in Dark Souls 3.

I remember.

And as the first cutscene in Dark Souls 1.

Okay.

I mean, like, it's

the way they do it so that if you really want to believe, you can look at that and go, ah,

colors.

All right.

I mean, look, I do remember that big drop in the, in the Dark Souls 3 DLC where you land on what was Firelink.

Is this Firelink?

You know, and it's like, there's that big, yes, that big drop feeling.

That's what I thought of as well

when we landed at the bottom.

But it's like,

we're at a point where it's like, okay, going from demons into dark, I can see that curiosity being a thing.

Going from dark into Bloodborne, it's like, eh, this would be better.

Dude, don't you know the Ronnie ending just leads straight to Bloodborne?

This would not make it better.

You know, and then now it's like, no, this would actively just make it worse.

Like, we need to stop with that.

Just accept that the Moonlight Greatsword as the Frumsoft item is the thing.

It just is and always will be.

And that's all you need to do.

Yeah, the connection here would not in any way make this a better thing.

It doesn't make it cooler or whatever.

But what if it did, though, bro?

What if Tony Stark was actually the reverse Flash?

Yeah.

And so this week as well,

Zafarino joined us of the FGC.

He runs Fighter Academy, which is a channel and got some tips for leveling up

if you're playing Street Fighter, if you're playing fighting games, you're trying to

get yourself in the right headspace.

He has a lot of really good kind of educational stuff and jumped in and like, yeah, put on a little class of sorts.

So it's definitely one of the more discussion-heavy episodes we're going to put out there.

So tune in for that.

Had some fun as well.

And

good dude, running

a good channel if you're looking to level up and get into some of

the theory stuff and you like kind of

breaking it down and getting analytical about your game, then, yeah, Zaf has got you covered on that.

So

this week,

gonna be picking back up with you know those games as mentioned, Dino Crisis and Elden Ring and Phoenix Wright.

And I'm trying to figure it out because

I want to

get some Astro bot in there,

but I'm not sure.

In my heart, you're PS5.

I'm not sure how.

So

I'll make an announcement on the schedule and you guys will see.

But yeah, I'd like to get some of that.

You know what I'm seeing in your mind's eye right now?

I'm seeing you with that chart that says like work, food, and sleep.

Delete one.

And then you're like, where could I fit this in?

And you're like holding on to the sleep parts.

Oh, yeah, you could, hey,

absolutely.

Um, so yeah, that'll be overall.

Who needs it?

Wooly vs on Twitch and on YouTube.

Uh,

all right, let's take a quick break, and we'll be yeah, I got a piss the RB.

Bye.

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All right.

What is he?

Yes.

When you go to a urinal,

how much are you taking out?

Because

I'm going to give you a backstory here.

I'm going to have a backstory here, all right?

So I recently

went to the public washroom, right?

Okay.

And

I mentioned to Paige that it sucks that

because I hate using the regular urinal and I always use the child's urinal because it's so much shorter.

Because

wait, we're going to get there.

We're going to get there.

Well, yeah, no, by the way, we're going to get there.

We're going to get there.

Yeah, don't click the clip button just yet.

Go on.

Because

when,

like, I like like when i used the regular man's urinal yesterday

like my balls were so close to touching the urinal that it made me super nervous yeah that's bad you don't want that that's terrible and

and like i with me and paige are having this conversation on twitter because why not

of course um as you solve all these issues And people are like, well, why the fuck are you taking your balls out of your fucking pants?

Like, well, how are you supposed to piss

if you don't take your balls out of your fucking pants?

I see.

I see.

So what we have here.

Because the dick in your balls go over the waistband of your underwear through the hole in your pants.

So we have a butter situation where the ass is out and we drop it right down to the ankles.

No, you just feel good, man.

No, no, you zip

your zipper and then you reach in there and you pull the whole thing out over the waistband.

Okay.

And then you got, and then people are like, well, why would you put it over the waistband?

I'm like, how are you supposed to get it out then?

Well, look, I mean,

sometimes I'm wearing the kinds of boxers where it's much easier for me to simply lift one of the pet legs and just use that.

So that ends up being the

simplest way most of the time.

Other times, depending on, again, the boxer brief type, you can use the flap in the front, at which point we're just, it's just, it's just shaft peeking out the, you know, it's just shaft coming out.

We don't, there's no need for the whole thing lock stock.

So someone on twitter.com said, why do you think that flap is there?

Just for show?

And I actually was like, oh, shit.

Is that what the flap in your underwear is for?

Yeah.

I've been going over the waistband for 30 fucking years.

But that hurts.

That's fucking.

Yeah, it sucks.

Why do you think I hate going to the bathroom in a public urinal?

Like, using the elastic to fucking like that, that's painful for no reason.

You have an opening flap that is meant for.

I thought that was some kind of fabric breathability thing.

You know,

it's just, you just, you open it up, and then that's it.

And it's just, at that point, if you're trying to shove

full package and, you know, frank and beans through the damn thing, then that's your fault.

There's no reason for that.

That's crazy.

No, no, I guess you don't need.

Okay, well,

you don't need the elastic band pressure.

You don't need to.

Yeah, no, because that's crazy.

Yeah, no, it's not good.

Well, you know, you learn something new every day.

Yeah, well, you know, that's it.

You don't, you don't need.

Yeah, okay.

Well, well,

I've learned something today.

Yes.

Though it does suck using like an adult urinal because

you look like a tiny person more than normal.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know.

Do you look like more of a tiny person by using the child's urinal?

I mean, look, man, if everything's pretty busy, I've taken the child's urinal and it's been rough because it's like, please don't splatter.

So then there's a whole technique

at which point you're like, let's get it higher up so that you're not going straight.

You're hitting an angle and you're minimizing splash.

So you have to learn that technique.

But fortunately, if you're doing the pant leg

method, as I described, then you're already angling downwards so that you're not creating a splashback point.

This is why you just skip all these logistical problems by like, if you're in your own house, you just get completely undressed every time you go to the bathroom.

You just, you just like, every single time you go to the bathroom, you just take off all your clothes and put them to the side.

Again, the butters.

You know, no,

look, man, do what you want in your own house.

God bless.

I fucking will.

I will.

Quite frankly, but no, I feel like I've learned, depending on which boxer I'm wearing, the most optimized way to go about this.

And, you know,

well, you know, the important thing is that I learned this before I had to teach it wrong to someone else.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, you know what?

That's what, that's what really matters.

Mm-hmm.

I'm going to end up calling, dude, I'm going to end up calling my dad on the phone like all the time.

And it's going to be super cringe.

oh well

there are um there's a proper game of mind sweeper you're gonna be playing here with every lesson taught you realize I am well aware

yeah no I I live in fear of teaching the boy all right so this is how you do this totally normal thing dad all the kids at school made fun of me because the way you taught me to tie my shoes.

Why?

They said I tied my shoes like a freak.

Mom, this is how dad taught me to tie my shoes.

And then Paige comes in and goes, why do you teach him to tie his shoes like a freak?

And I go, wait, what?

Do I tie my shoes like a freak?

What's wrong with bunny ears?

It works every time.

I mean, it is a nice reality check moment, right, in life to be like,

to have a halfway point.

Like, hold on.

What are we doing here?

Let's go over each one of these things from the beginning.

Take it from the top, right?

And as you're going through through with the kids, you kind of get to learn one by one, what the fuck did you learn wrong as a joke?

Yeah.

I mean, look,

tying shoes was particularly

a tricky one for me, but a bunch of weird shit.

Oh, what?

Well, a bunch of shit was tricky because I skipped grade one and ended up missing out on a bunch of like, again, like non-cursive writing.

The first handwriting I ever learned was cursive.

Oh, that's strange.

Right.

And that's and a bunch of weird shit that you kind of all get established in.

I, I,

I believe that even left and right is a grade one thing that gets established.

No, your parents are supposed to teach you that before you go to school.

Right.

Well, you know, maybe.

That's one of those things that's not for schooling.

That's home stuff.

But I just.

Ideally, you should be able to read before you go to school.

Okay.

Well, I just remember.

Ideally.

I just remember coming out the other side of that going like, oh, fuck.

I missed some fundamentals here.

And

it made some other stuff tricky.

So, anyway.

Well, thank you for your input.

Yeah.

Anytime.

Now, let's listen to the guy who doesn't know how to take his dick out of his pants talk about layoffs in the industry.

Yeah.

Spur me from my own brain.

I had a bunch of dumb jokes that were not going anywhere.

And

move on.

Yeah.

All right.

What's happening in video game?

Well,

there goes the entire staff of Atapurna Interactive walking out.

I want to, hey,

there's so much good about this story.

So, first of all, big old clap for them beating the layoff by just fucking.

You can't fire me.

I quit.

Yeah, and also everybody.

Bye.

Bye, bitch.

What a great feeling that must have been.

So,

Annapurna was publishing and doing a bunch of really cool stuff.

So, like, that was one of those, like, what the fuck was happening there?

I thought, you never know, but it's safe to assume there's little fires everywhere in the industry, even when it's really quiet and they're putting out stuff that was good.

Yeah.

And, like, to the point where, like, recently with like,

you know, Thirsty Suitors and Sayonara Wildhearts and stuff, I'm like, oh, yes, the Annapurna vibe, you know.

Right.

But no, it turns out that they were in talks with the owner, Megan Ellison,

about,

yeah, going independent entirely and spinning off the

studio to be its own entity.

And all of that hit a wall.

And I guess because of the way

the disagreements, like the whole deal fell apart,

all 25 members of the team collectively just quit in a joint statement right away.

So it seems as if, like, I like, I don't know if we're privy to, like, exactly the type of bullshit that happened that led to that drastic result, but there was some kind of just line in the sand that was totally unmovable.

And

yeah, they basically went, fuck this, all walked away.

And it's, again, nuts because that, they have a ton of publishing stuff they were

in in charge of as well.

And

they

like, you kind of have to wonder if that's a previously discussed bit.

Like, is that going to mean like those people are walking right into the new thing that they're forming?

You know, was that what that means when you cross that line in the sand?

Did they already have ideas or plans for that?

But yeah, they were publishers of Outer Wild, Stray, Cocoon,

and they were also partnering with Remedy for the upcoming Control and Alan Wake stuff.

So, who knows?

Apparently, that was a different Annapurna.

That was Annapurna Pictures.

Yeah, so they're also a film and TV studio,

which

is why I was going to say, I'm like, we'll see if the loss

incurred by this massive walkout can be made up for with a critically acclaimed film to soon be released, Night Bitch.

Yo, I gotta be real, though.

The trailer for Night Bitch looks pretty cool.

You see Night Bitch?

Night Bitch is coming.

Bro, I was watching the trailer for Night Bitch, and Paige came down the stairs and was like, You watching Night Bitch?

Yeah, yeah, I'm watching Night Bitch.

Yeah, Night Bitch.

So, Night Bitch is

an Adapurna Pictures movie.

So, you know, we'll see.

And if you don't know, then hey, there's a movie called Night Bitch.

Go look.

It's genuinely incredible

how far a good title can carry something.

Sometimes the entire concept, really.

I mean, Cocaine Bear was just the title.

Right?

Like, if that was like...

I'll be honest, any other title at all?

I would not have given it even a blink.

Not even remotely.

No one gives a fuck.

But it's called Night Bitch.

Yo, you're going to see Night Bitch in theaters?

Yeah.

We're going to see that Night Bitch.

She turns into a Night Bitch.

That's great.

Yeah.

Nailed it.

Yeah.

No,

there will always be.

There will always be a spot for that.

You know, Hobo with a Shotgun, et cetera.

Just

delivering on exactly what you promised.

I'll say it.

I'm going to be on a Hobo with a Shotgun.

Because Hobo with a Shotgun.

is slightly different because it's not, its title is its old-fashioned presentation of its title.

Specifically, Rudger Hauer is a hobo with a shotgun.

Like that very old-fashioned, like Hollywood star is.

Taking a car to hell.

And you're right in shotgun.

Yeah, can I just go back and say the weirdest thing about Hobo with a shotgun is that Rudger Howard is doing like sorry, Rudger Hauer is doing like proper real fucking acting in that movie and no one else is?

It's great.

Like he's being a fucking actor

in this dumbass movie.

Yeah, so that's it.

You know, when you get a nice little, the title is the concept, is the whole bit.

Again, like even snakes on a plane, same thing, right?

You're just like, hey, what's the, okay, yeah.

Yeah.

Will you do...

Sam Jackson's going to be

there's going to be a plane and there'll be snakes.

So yes, anyway,

Annapurna.

You know, we don't, that's the thing about it.

It's just like, I just don't know that like there's enough of that story that's public to know what

there is one,

there is a part of that story that we don't know, but I bet we can surmise.

I bet walking out all at once felt super good.

I bet it felt really good.

It was a 25-person team, so not like a giant, giant studio.

But that's just enough people to walk in and then

open up a new thing and do what they can with that.

Though, admittedly,

as a publishing wing, it's much different from just a straight developer, right?

Like, it's not the same thing.

Like, the whole strength of a publisher is that, hey, you've made a lot of money and you now have the ability to publish other projects.

No one not.

And we're going to handle a bunch of awkward paperwork that no one wants to do.

Yeah, a lot of studios that, like, you know,

I mean, we just saw, like, I think it was the

Among Us team, right, started doing that.

And it's like, that comes after you've already developed and built up enough of that structure.

So,

yeah, Anna Perna, the publishing arm, is a really good example.

It's like, hey, are you, indie developer, completely unable to talk to a single human being over at Xbox and thus your port is in limbo for a year?

A proper publishing arm might know a guy they can call to actually get your submission through.

Yeah.

So

again, you know,

all the stuff that they were putting out or publishing was pretty interesting as a label.

There was like a flavor to their stuff, similar to, I guess, New Blood and things like that, right?

Like, or not New Blood,

Devolver, rather.

Well, kind of like New Blood.

Like,

New Blood and Devolver have like flavours.

Yeah.

When you see that name, you're like, oh, oh, okay, yeah.

Outer Wild Stray, Neon White, What Remains of Edith Finch,

a bunch of stuff.

Anna Perna to me said like

Bravo.

A24 Games.

Yeah, okay.

A24 Games is what I'd say.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, we'll see.

Where New Blood and Devolver are the first and second half of Grindhouse.

Yeah, correct.

So, along aside that,

big fan of huge leaks from achievements being uploaded to Steam DB.

Always a fun way to find out what's going on.

Hey, you copy-pasted the wrong thing, shithead.

Yeah.

Also, shout-outs to

our boy Flux Waves, who's a

really, he's stronger, one of the strongest Street Fighter players in Montreal, but he runs Persona Central.

And he reporting on the story here, Devil Summoner, Rydo, Kuzunoha versus the Soulless Army achievements appear on Steam DB.

So

basically,

everything

updated on SteamDB right away often can show you what a company will

upload in advance when they're when they're putting getting achievements into place.

And a bunch of the SMT three page stuff had its achievements changed to some straight-up Rhido-related stuff right across the board,

in particular relating to the versus the Soulless Army.

So,

yeah,

Rydo is

a really great game, as you well know.

You played it on your channel just a little while ago.

I hope this means that King versus King Abaddon

also comes out because King Abaddon is like

a late era old rare PS2 RP.

Like it is

one of those ones that nobody really got a chance to take a look at.

Similar to Rhydo Kuzno-How One, but also it's

like Rhydo 1 is really good.

Rhydo 2 is much better in a lot of ways.

That game's great.

Yeah.

I can see the pieces of one that were like combat-wise.

There's a lot of room for improvement there.

Hey, how about you don't do random battles in every single screen in the entire game?

Right, right.

But the bones were, the bones were fucking cool.

And certainly, and just, you know, aesthetic and character-wise and stuff, everything going on with

that era of Japan and everything was really interesting and fun as well.

So,

yeah,

that's cool.

I hope that this announcement comes with Devil Summoner 2.

Oh, wait, there are also achievements pointing at the second game.

Oh, yeah, okay.

So then.

Oh, are there?

Fucking sick.

Reach Summoner rank 30, complete a case file.

Those are terms that are more associated with King Abaddon.

Yeah.

So there you go.

Looks like they're doing both of them.

Fucking sick.

That would make it much simpler to go into that second game if I ever so

felt inclined.

Hell yeah.

yeah, I'm excited.

Fucking

uh the that anytime you see like like uh that uniform or that style of character pop up, like the um the dude in five, I forgot his name, that I'm just like, oh, you're you're you're just rido,

you're meant to be the rhythm of here.

I'm just like, it's it's always dope.

So, uh, cool.

It took all this time, but finally, these games are being saved from the past.

Uh, you know,

that's great.

I don't have anything to say other than like the Atlas, Atlas and Vanillaware were right there being like, hey, do you want some of the best PS2 games ever?

And you want to never play them ever again?

Something changed, right?

Something changed.

For years and years and years

before, all it was was just, you know,

why will they not port these?

What's the fucking thing?

What was it?

Was it Persona 4 Golden?

Person P4 Golden.

Yeah.

That was the every time.

Because that blew blew up.

That sold shitzillion.

And

all we used to talk about before that was just, why do you hate money?

Why do you hate it so much?

Why do you refuse to gain money?

That's it.

It made no sense.

because

I see Atlas

in Mission 11 going, why isn't it working?

Must more blood be shed?

Damn it.

Exactly.

Oh, stupid fucking Atlas.

Damn.

You idiot.

Oh.

Yeah.

Play Devil May Cry 3.

It's a great game.

So speaking of old things

from the past getting fucking updated, did you watch the trailer for Uzumaki?

So

I was really worried about the Uzumaki animated series because I watched a little bit of the

Jungji Ito

Chronicles or whatever it was called.

And those were terrible.

Those were awful.

And Uzumaki is like the fucking, it's the fucking thing.

It's the fucking thing.

It's the thing.

And it looks great.

This fucking trailer kicks so much ass, dude.

It looks incredible.

And again,

I haven't read Uzumaki, you know, but looking at it and seeing like how you've committed to the black and white.

Like,

that,

I, oh, I respect that so much.

So fuck.

I have read Uzumaki, and I think that I read Uzumaki in what might have been the most optimal setting conceivable, which was I had just finished catching up to Berserk

and

saw something called Uzumaki and went, fine, whatever, Junji Ito, I don't know who that is.

And then blew through Uzumaki from 1 to 5 a.m.

on a Saturday and

then could not sleep for shit because I was all fucked up over it.

Because I was like, how, I'm not scared when I read books.

How scary could a manga be?

This is a blue spiral.

Oh, shit.

No, I read Amigara Fault and then

after reading it, continued to think about it for like at least a month straight,

just conceptually about the implications of what that meant.

I think it was absolutely mandatory, hyper-vital, that this was not colorized,

that this had to be in black and white.

It's so important to Uzumaki's style that it's in black and white.

What's really strange to me,

like really, really goofy, is that the music in the Uzumaki trailer sounds like World of Horror,

which is a game based off of Uzumaki.

Uzumachunji Ito style horror.

Yeah.

And like, um, having play, so playing that recently and kind of getting the, the, the, the flavor as well.

That, and that game goes strictly black and white for the exact same purpose.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Absolutely.

Um, yeah.

Um,

no, they really, yeah, no, it, it, look, it looks so goddamn perfect.

I'm so excited.

This is gonna, this is gonna cause like a

surge

of like

new people discovering it and just obsessively talking about it all the time which is kind of going to be horrible because it means you're going to see Uzumaki stuff everywhere and all that shit is a nightmare it's all horrible

but um um but like I think what's also worth pointing out here with just like the way the animation is is being handled in the trailer is it's not just that it's black and white it's that it's actually like they have

ink lines, they have pen work, they have line art, they have like hatching and a full 100% just like accurate and respectful translation of the way the pages looked, you know?

Yeah, so like literally every single shot you see in this trailer is a manga panel, like a one-to-one

and animation is being used for like tweening.

Yes, the 3D, that the way the 3D looks and the way it's textured and everything is lit is that it's lit to look like the manga panels and you don't have any grays where there wouldn't be otherwise, you know?

A lot of it is.

There are things that go black and white, but they really just go like monochromatic and it ends up like losing.

Like Ghost of Tsushima's black and white mode or Kirakurosawa mode.

Oh, this thing actually sucks really well.

Exactly.

It looks nothing like an Akira Kurosawa.

The contrast is not balanced for this.

It's balanced for a color, and then you're just desaturating a colored image, which looks terrible.

Yeah, so it looks, it looks like shit.

But here, the actual white balance and darks are like at the highest level of contrast from each other, which is what the pages of the book look like.

So fucking incredible.

Looks super duper good.

Yeah.

And it is fascinating to me how Uzumaki is his most famous and probably best work when he's talked about the process of writing it and he was like just freeballing it chapter to chapter with no plan and no ending.

Really?

Huh?

Yeah.

Like he was like, what if I wrote another spiral story?

What if a spiral was creepy again?

That's it.

Yeah, I.

Between this and the Slam Dunk movie, it's really dope to see, like, okay, 3D is able to

fully capture

a manga art style, you know, and keep that accurate and not just kind of like split the difference and call it somewhere in the middle, you know?

Yeah, there's only one thing it can't capture, and that's horses.

We'll see.

We'll see.

See, man, time will tell.

Like, those muscles are fucking detailed and rigid.

Yeah, Uzumaki's

an adult swim production, too.

So weird.

Very.

Not like a Netflix thing or so.

Yeah, specifically Adult Swim.

Cool.

Although,

speaking of Netflix, yeah, so...

I'm not sure if you've been keeping up, but they announced that Castlevania Nocturne Season 2 is coming in January.

I still got to watch Castlevania Season Nocturne season one.

I feel bad because, like, yeah, everything that I have watched so far of like, I think it was like the first two seasons was dope as hell.

Okay, so I'll tell you right now, I watched the first four.

Season one, great, but short.

Season two, great.

Season three, it's fine.

Season four, great.

Season five, I saw people saying it wasn't as good as season four.

Okay.

Just there.

Right across Castlevania animated solid across the board generally.

Yeah.

Season three is pretty good, but like it's mainly to get to season four.

Yep.

Um,

and I guess, um, has the episode count gone up with each of these parts?

Yeah, every season has uh higher episodes.

I don't know about Nocturne, though.

Because, yeah, if I'm if this is part two of it, then I'm kind of curious if it's like hitting that

adventure time thing.

Well, if the quality stays consistent, then that's that's great.

Um,

But I certainly didn't mind the first ones being, you know, again, shorter length, anthology length, whatever.

What's that Devil May Cry shit coming out, man?

Yeah.

Yeah, we just come on.

All we got is that one screenshot, you know?

I don't know.

Come on.

No word.

At least put out, like, the thing is, at least put out like a guy, another look at it or another, just let's see another character design.

Get a feel for what's going on.

After all, it's going to be the last Devil May Cry related anything for probably a very long time.

You don't know that.

We don't.

We don't.

But Daddy DMC is out, right?

Ah, doesn't mean anything.

No, they can keep it going without.

Capcom's got good people.

They do.

But I just, I think it'll take a little bit longer to

reset.

You know, find the person and then keep it going with the rest of the team

as opposed to just like picking back up where you left off when you had the last guy in charge, you know.

It really does put into context, uh, it's you know,

uh, like when they did DMC5, it's like, and Virgil and Dante rode off into the sunset,

and so am I.

Okay, bye, everybody.

Like,

yeah,

um,

now Virgil and Dante, legendary rivalry for the ages.

But what about

Jeff Keeley versus Hard Drive?

Oh,

man.

Jeff Keeley

is not doing super great this week.

I can't believe he replied.

I can't believe he replied.

I bet he's mad from everybody making fun of him for that PS5 Pro fucking series of tweets.

Probably.

And so here's where I ask.

Like, I don't, did you, you did some quick math on the inflation?

Okay, so let's let's scroll back.

The PS5 Pro is going to come out for fucking $699 US dollars.

Old snake with the gun in his mouth.

Always remember.

But actually, if you account for inflation, it's shut the fuck up.

People are broke.

Also, and this is my favorite part.

Mark Cerny's like, look at the, look at the.

We know everyone wants performance mode, but what if you zoomed in on this background character in Wretched and Clank?

Look at the shadows.

Yes, we had to literally zoom in on the picture in our presentation to show that it was different.

So, but wow.

So, like,

after that happened, because I saw the bullet points, but I didn't like even watch the thing.

I just remember going, like, I was like, okay, any new features?

anything that actually changes anything no no the new feature is it doesn't have a disk drive

yeah and and and um

which i shadows and and textures in the background will be nice i'm running the digital only version anyway that's what i already have there so whatever um okay so that that's it right and so there's a bit of a like yeah i don't i don't care um right off the bat but then i'm like wait a minute it's probably better because if there was some sort of bigger feature then that would just create a huge FOMO.

Yeah.

That would be.

Then you get in the Xbox Series S fucking nonsense.

So

it feeling very skippable is probably for the best.

Yeah.

You don't want something.

I don't know who this thing is for.

Because people willing to spend like $800 to $1,000 on a console can buy a PC for just a couple hundred more.

Like

it's insane.

But like, I can't stand the adjusted for inflation.

This thing is actually blah, blah, blah.

I hate that so much because wages

have not kept up with inflation anyway.

So using inflation as the metric is fucking stupid and pointless.

So I went and I ran some math.

I can't find it now.

I'm scrolling past a guy who's eating a horse electrolytes.

Don't do that.

I'm trying to find it.

Oh, here it is.

I found it.

So I ran it like, hey, if you were in the U.S.

and you worked minimum wage and you wanted a console because people who are poor deserve to have video games, also,

right?

How long would it take you?

And like, the only fucking

fucking thing that this thing is cheaper than is the PS3, the thing that was the most overpriced fucking piece of shit that Sony ever put out.

And the PS3 could play PS2 games.

Yeah.

So like.

Now,

funny enough, like, the thing that I, well, the thing I want the most is probably that I would have hoped for of a new SKU would have been more space.

But also,

it being smaller, it being slimmer would have been a possible shutdown.

But, like, none of those things, you know, so yeah, like, it's not, it's not even that because I'm like,

the current thing is fucking massive.

If they actually made it slim, that might have been a thing.

But

yeah.

So, alongside

that discourse, then

Jeff Keely has been running a just his timeline has been like talking about the upgraded GPU and then the price point.

And then, you know, like, here's the announcement for

the title and all the other details.

And it's like basically just running a PR campaign.

It is, it is wild to me.

Like, Jeff is so fucking out of touch.

Like, you and I used video game consoles as part of a business expense, right?

It's not like we're in a different situation than your average consumer.

And you and I look at this and go, that's fucking ridiculously price.

That's absurd.

But Jeff is like so far out there.

It's like, well, think of the value.

It's easy to think of the value when the cost doesn't mean anything, Jeff.

It is a

business expense tax deduction for us, and and it's still absurd.

It's still

like 30% off because of the tax deduction.

And I look at that and go, that's a fucking huge waste of money.

I played two PS5 games on the stream a year.

That's not worth it.

Yeah.

So anyway, but I like,

yeah, so that then leads to

this like hard drive tweet where they they basically just are scrolling through and like the back-to-back PS5 Pro

PR tweets and just wrote, did you forget to invoice them?

On Jeff Keely's timeline.

You know.

I think so the PS5 Pro thing is like there's a lot of there's a lot of weird

resentment and anger and it seems like a little higher than you would think but I think it's a combination of like a lot of factors.

So, one, Sony,

crazy Ken Sony is coming back because all the shit we've been making fun for Microsoft fucking it up means Sony feels very confident to do their crazy Sony nonsense again.

And it's only going to get worse from here.

Um, I actually forgot.

I messed.

So, that reply they gave was after their initial tweet, which was a truck full of money and going Jeff Keeley on his way to PlayStation HQ, on his way home from PlayStation HQ.

And then he replied, I want to see the receipts with the Whitney Houston GIF.

And so then they went like scrolling down the timeline.

Here you are, you know.

So

he then comes in and goes, we'll send mine right after yours and has a picture of

Hard Drive posting, Happy Game of the Year launch day.

Enjoy your controller with a photo of an Astro bot dual sense controller.

And

hard drive then replies to that with a wrap-it-up

screenshot.

So now hard drive is fighting Jeff Keely.

That's great.

So, yeah.

Shit, what was I?

Oh, right.

The other thing is like, okay, so they did you watch the PS5 Pro thing?

It was like eight minutes.

No, no, just

pull it pulling.

So it has Mark Cerny going,

look at how much better the graphics could be.

And they're like zooming in, and then you still have to squint.

It's like, it's bad.

But they haven't released any footage of like the difference on any games.

And then they gave like the Digital Foundry guys a crack at it.

And Digital Foundry guys wrote, oh my God, it's like night and day.

It's amazing.

It's like so great.

And then they just posted like singular screenshots.

And like, where's my high-quality video comparison between the two?

Like, you're asking people to spend $700, but you won't even show them the actual difference between the two things.

Man.

And yeah,

and I feel like on the flip side, it's like now when nothing, when Nintendo just kind of scrapes across the bare minimum with everything they do and then goes $2.99.

It's like, yeah.

Oh, wait.

People are saying that they used,

they put out footage of Last of Us 2 and Ghosts of Tsushima to show the difference.

Bro, those are PS4 games.

That's great.

Oh, that's super.

Yeah.

Anyway, man.

You want to spend $700 to play the games you play?

Get a fucking PC.

Oh, my God.

Come on.

And buy a Switch 2, which will cost $299.

And you'll be able to play Breath of the Wild at a decent frame rate.

Yeah.

I consider...

So my.

No, you won't.

I am sick of running out of space on my

diskless PS5 here.

We'll just delete games, man.

Yeah, well, every time I have a sponsor thing or whatever, I'm constantly doing that, but it's like then reinstalling fucking Elden Ring and reinstalling FF7 or whatever.

Like, it's always just the entirety of it.

Well, beat games faster than that.

Well, yeah.

Yeah.

So

I'm going to have to deal with that at some point.

But yeah, no.

this is the absolute era of they will learn discipline once again.

I want people to take a second job to buy PlayStation 5 Pro.

They need to feel like they've earned it.

You know, I actually, I have to say, probably

where the most frustration is coming from is like

we waited through the pandemic and all this shit, and it was impossible for people to buy PlayStation.

And now that you can buy it like a regular product, here comes the new one that will also be impossible to buy if you actually want it.

And didn't this also go hand in hand with the

used prices fucking tanking?

Yeah, and also

alongside this, Sony is like increasing the price of controllers worldwide, and I think the PS5 in Japan due to inflation.

Fucking rad.

Yeah.

So

Nintendo's going to make a billion, Shaidzillion dollars next time because all they have to do is make a Switch 2 and have it be exactly the same thing.

And that's the thing.

That's the problem.

Nintendo does nothing.

Nintendo does nothing.

They don't, you know, on one hand, you have this where it's like, what the fuck are you thinking?

And on the other hand, you have like, nothing ever changes.

And like, they get to...

They get to skate on that forever, just coming in at the bare minimum because, like, I think about it.

They throw the price out of it.

every time we talk about nintendo and it's like maybe if you spend 400 million dollars on your new game it can sell half as many copies as the worst mario party ever

right like oh man like come on god

yeah

just

at this point in time you know i remember the era and the years of thinking like oh yeah well, not this generation,

you know, but the next generation, Nintendo's gonna go all in.

You know, they're gonna, they're gonna, they're gonna

gun for that number one spot again.

It's like, bitch,

like, the f I, the fuck you think this is?

Like, I think,

I think the Switch and I think this nonsense with the PS5 Pro,

we are actually hitting the point where, like, even to the average consumer, graphics are ceasing to matter nearly entirely.

Like

all the, all the, all the PC stuff that I, I, I deal with, like DLSS and all this shit, it's all to make the game run better.

Yeah.

Like ray tracing, like ray tracing is like a little side thing.

Everything's to make it run better.

Switch games look fine.

They just need to run a little better.

Even Mark Cerny, in that thing, he says there's a really interesting factoid that's super important, which is they have the data.

When players are given the choice on the PlayStation 5, three quarters of players choose the performance mode instead of the graphics.

Interesting.

Interesting.

It is absolutely proven now

that people just want the games to run.

better.

And then they spent the rest of that performance saying, but look how much nicer the graphics can be.

Look how much nicer.

And look at all these games that are going to get patches.

And then some of those games are still not going to hit 60.

They're just increasing the existing fidelity of their 30 FPS games.

And it's like they aren't even listening to themselves.

And every time we everyone just wants PS2 games.

And every time we

generation reset and start a new one,

it's gotten easier and easier to just go, fuck this.

I'm just going to get a good video card and call it a a day.

Yeah, like the next eight years.

Like the PlayStation 6 is going to show off some games and they're going to be very impressive.

And it's going to be like

you're never going to feel like Silent Hill 1 to Silent Hill 3 ever again.

Ever.

Ever.

That jump.

Yeah.

FF6 to FF6.

FF6 to 7,

you know,

and then, yeah, and then 9 to 10.

Ever.

That's done.

That's we are, we are.

So, someone in the chat says that normies don't care.

I think that's kind of my point: is that like normies aren't technically like pixel hunting and resolution line scanning, and it's getting more and more and more and more difficult

to actually tell the difference between ensuing generations of games.

Um,

yeah, and I think, um, uh,

like there also the other day when I said like I saw Call of Duty and I was like, huh, Call of Duty doesn't look better than that?

Huh.

No, Call of Duty has looked the same for like 15 minutes.

I was like, oh, okay.

Well, that's

that's what all the money in the world nets you.

Well, guess what?

That's where we are.

You know what my favorite thing about bringing up Call of Duty with that is, is that people like playtesters and general normies will, you'll, or any normal people, hey, why do you like Call of Duty compared to blah, blah, blah?

And they're like, oh, it just feels better.

Oh, because it runs at 60 FPS and always has.

Well, they don't have the language to say that because they don't know about frames.

But yeah, no, it's because it runs at fucking 60 FPS and it feels better than all the other shooters that don't.

Yeah,

it's always interesting because I always, whenever these things kind of get announced and come out, you kind of wonder if, like,

do you, could you hit a better price point by

having this be released a little bit later in time?

Could you simply wait it out in that way?

But the way the market goes, you can't do that because at any given point, investors need

their return in a certain amount of time and generations have to turn over in a certain amount of time.

And

even though the industry has gotten bigger and bigger and

a lot of this stuff has grown, it's also become one where generations used to be four years, right?

Like

sometimes questionably, like half generations in between and all that, and even less.

And PlayStation having these super duper long tails

does not equal the same amount of hardware turnaround over time.

So, yeah.

And also, there's a fun little problem that I had to be reminded of, which is,

you know, let's say the

PS2 comes out for, what was it, $2.99?

I think it was $2.99.

A year after it comes out, it's down to $2.49.

Two years or three years after it comes out, it's down to $199.

Nothing drops in price anymore.

I mean, consoles don't get cheaper.

You could go, you know what?

I'm not going to buy the PS2 or the PS3 because I know it'll be like $100 cheaper next year.

And you were right.

The Nintendo way.

Yeah.

Nintendo.

The Switch has dropped in price.

It actually has.

Has Has it?

Yeah.

Hasn't it?

Well, then I guess it's more so.

I guess it's Nintendo software that never changes in price.

Yeah, it's definitely the software.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right.

Oh, people are saying yes and no.

That's pretty funny.

Drop like 50 bucks.

Okay.

And the Switch Lite is much cheaper.

Gotcha.

Okay.

But hey, you know what, man?

Do you want to

do you want a PS5 Pro or do you want to get you and a second family member Nintendo Switches?

For everybody, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like,

I love it when people combine it.

It's like, do you want to buy a PS5 Pro or 10 copies of the newest game for you and everyone you know?

Fucking ridiculous.

Or again, a decent gaming laptop or something, and then you just hold that for a decade, you know, or whatever.

Cool.

All right.

Dude, that PS6 is going to cost like a thousand USD.

That thing is going to be so expensive.

I want to say that, like,

there's always been jokes about how this kind of scales up and stuff, but if it becomes a world where really, like, Nintendo's over here doing their own thing, and Microsoft doesn't exist in this space anymore, and the only real competition is just like PC releases of things, then yeah, they can do whatever they want.

You know,

absolutely.

Come on, Phil, make one good decision.

It's kind of not very uplifting when I'm like, hey, Phil, can you make some good decisions so I can buy your competitor at a cheaper price?

I wonder if there's I'd be curious to see what the stats were on each of these PlayStation releases as to what the point where it switches over from selling at a loss to or being a loss leader to then attachment rate.

They used to give those numbers out.

Yeah.

They used to announce that.

Like how at what point does it flip around?

Because it's always at a loss initially and then attachment rate grows, it flips around.

Not Nintendo.

But I'd be curious to see how that changes over the years with each of these, you know, and then with each SKU as well.

Because

I mean, when you have one of these cases where it's like, there's no FOMO in ignoring this type of half-skew, you know,

versus people feeling forced otherwise, you know.

Anyway, all right.

Not much else.

Fucking Dr.

Doom looks cool doing dive kicks in Fortnite.

That's dope.

Dive, foot, foot dive.

I'm glad they gave him the foot dive.

That's fine.

That's important.

I'm glad they did that.

Between that and rivals and then the upcoming Avengers bit, seems like it's like pushing Doom is like kind of what's starting to get started,

yeah.

Um, people like Doctor Doom,

like you know, Paige is like way out on all the Marvel shit.

She doesn't give a fuck.

And uh,

I'm like, How do you feel about Doctor Doom?

She's like, Doctor Doom's cool as hell.

Like,

he's he's universally loved by all.

And has been

garbage in

like movie iterations for a long time.

Yeah.

All right.

Uh

what do we got, letters-wise?

Probably a bunch of bullshit.

If you want to send, I mean, really sweet letters by nice people who are very smart and smell nice.

Um,

what the fuck is there to say about P.

Diddy?

Yeah, P.

Diddy, Diddy's a, he's a creep.

What?

Yeah, he's going down.

50s.

He's he's probably dumb.

Finny Send is making a documentary series called Did He Do It?

End of story.

Like, there's nothing.

Oh, is that the name?

Yeah, that's incredible.

That's it.

That's an incredible name.

There's nothing to say here.

Oh, my God.

That's amazing.

All right.

Bye.

There he goes.

Oh, that's oh, that's stellar.

CastleSuperbeastmail at gmail.com.

That's where you send it.

And to my side, it sounds.

Here's one coming in from Remurai.

Says, hello,

Professor Patton Wise Woolley.

Just wondering, what game would you recommend?

Basically,

what game you would recommend to basically form the closest you can get to gaming literacy, as silly as that term might sound?

To a completely new player, walking in a straight line and turning the camera simultaneously in a modern third-person game can be daunting and disorienting.

Can you think of any games, regardless of the genre, that would help?

Not asking for a particular reason, but I just remembered how Solitaire for Windows was at least officially introduced to familiarize people with the mouse and with a graphical operating system.

So this actually reminds me directly, because Punch Mom had some struggles, because Punch Mom, I remember when she started playing Tomb Raider Reboot.

a while ago.

Oh, the girl.

And

that was the first third-person kind of like action game, I think, ever, really.

Like, she played like Donkey Kong 64 way back in the day, but like, um, that's nowhere near the level of like, yeah, modern day expectation of proficiency on controlling your character with one thumb stick and then moving your camera adeptly with the other and then doing everything, you know, like

the levels increased.

Um, and

uh, I feel like what helped a lot was after that, she went, she played P5 sometime later, and moving around that in that game in a third-person way, but the camera is like, you're rotating and peeking around corners, but things are happening in almost a turn-per turn-based way.

Like, monsters are walking in real time, but you can hide in a corner forever.

So you have time to make your decisions and eventually prepare was a huge factor in getting her used to playing those games.

So I honestly think any time, any of the things you're describing there, as long as someone can play a turn-based version of that where there's no pressure timing-wise to make things happen, they can like slowly orient and spend as much time they need to in cover, peeking, and getting ready to do the thing, and then eventually doing it.

That helps a lot.

And now she can play third-person games, yeah, pretty much you know, without a problem.

But a turn-based if you had a gun to my head and told me to pick one, I would pick Portal

because Portal has for the very

vast majority of Portal's runtime, there's no time pressure on any puzzle yep um and

you can freely choose between moving your view with the mouse which is the most the most for camera moving your view with the mouse is the most intuitive

and

w ASD is forward back left right that's also mostly intuitive or at the very least it's four inputs instead of a full analog stick yep however portal's back half does introduce guns and weapons and you have to learn how to actually adeptly move and shoot.

But if you get through Portal, then you're probably fucking set.

Right?

If not for that, I would say literally any 3D Mario game.

Because Mario games are built to be controllable and beatable by literal tiny baby children.

And if you are totally unaware of how to control a character

in 3D space, you are skill-wise a tiny little baby, and that's completely fine.

But you can play a tiny little baby game that will allow you to control

as if you were a little baby, and you can just stay away from all the challenge shit.

I don't remember if Portal ramps up the turret stuff quickly to a point where you're like evading the shots and stuff becomes

a requirement.

But obviously, beating that, the last boss does require you to be active.

Yeah.

But yeah, the only,

there's only like two or three things in the entire game that require time pressure, and one of those is the final boss.

But in general, I would say anything that does remove time pressure from the situation, anything that gives you a turn to make up your mind and decide what you're going to do is like, okay, because the stress is always like, oh no, if I don't do this thing good quickly, then

I'm going to fail and I'm not going to be able to progress.

And that's always the stressor point.

So yeah.

I think one of the kickers, though, that like tons of people

don't think about or skip is that that it's a lot easier for a person to learn how to navigate in 3D space while controlling a camera if they already are very comfortable navigating in a 2D space without control of the camera.

Right.

Yeah.

Like a lot of people get thrown into the deep end and go, here's control of your character and here's control of your camera.

And it's like, how about you give them some adjust control of their character first

with like a 2D game or a game with a fixed camera?

Like Super Mario 3D land almost always has camera control taken away from you.

Yeah,

when we're moving the camera around to an angle,

it's putting it into

a position where we're already still automatically comfortable because of years of 2D gaming, for sure.

I feel like a Kirby game is also a pretty like stress-free way to go through.

I think that in a lot of cases.

You're right, though.

Because

there's honestly levels in a lot of of Kirby games where you can just fly over everything and hit the door.

The game is almost a sandbox in some cases, right?

So, yeah.

That's probably what I would recommend.

I think time pressure is like the single most damaging thing to learning anything ever.

I still struggle with it.

All right.

Kaharnick says, hey, Woolly and Pat.

Hey, Kaharnick, what are your favorite fan-made terms or nicknames for things like a game mechanic, character faction, etc.?

For example,

since this is now partially a Warhammer podcast due to last week's episode, I present the Chaos Dwarves.

They're from the Warhammer fantasy, loosely based on a blend of ancient Assyria, 19th-century industrial might, and demonologists' worship of the god of tyranny.

Of course, this means people just refer to them as chorfs, since it's faster than saying chaos dwarfs.

That's great.

I've never heard that.

Yeah, I'm pretty happy with

my canon of blorbs, robs, porbs.

I'm a big fan

of the abomination we created with that.

I give a shout out to,

yo, we gotta go kill the night song.

Let's go, shark.

Solid.

I'm a big fan of shadow heart to shark.

Yep.

Yep.

I,

if it is very self-congratulatory or maybe congratulatory for you, Wooly.

Again, it is one of those terms.

I don't know which one of us said it.

I am madly in love with the frame rate dimension.

I find it endlessly useful

for huge varieties of things.

Yeah, that was not me.

That was not me.

That was not you?

Okay.

So you can take

it talking about Astral Chain then.

Because in Astral Chain, you go to the frame rate dimension.

It is crazy in there.

Yeah.

And,

you know, and then I'd say equally, when it goes the other way, you get schlutters, right?

Fucking schlooters.

Shut up, Randy.

Shut the fuck up.

So it can go the other way.

Ugh.

Hobby grade.

Ugh.

Eurojank is pretty good.

Eurojank's good.

That's a good one.

You know what's funny?

We had that whole JRPG debacle debacle about like whether or not Japanese creators appreciate the term JRPG because of the history of like anti-Asian like sentiment and like the stigma.

But like, and like we all had like a conversation about that.

Uh, but like when it comes to Eastern Europeans, we're like, it plays like shit because Ukrainians.

But it's good though.

The Polish, they don't know how to make a game that controls well, but it's got boobs.

Yeah.

Like EuroChank, it's like explicitly negative.

Like, it's so mean.

I'm not going to stop using it, but, you know.

One more.

Dear Will Ron and Patty.

I don't like that.

Well,

let's see, you know.

Jacob from Michigan says, you ever heard an opinion or an aspect of a have you ever heard an opinion aspect of a game that is so universally loved

by

okay, hold on a second?

Yeah, just try this again.

I bet this is a mess.

Have you ever heard an opinion against an aspect of a game that is universally loved by the rest of the community?

For example, my friend hates aggro from Shadow of the Colossus and thinks it's the worst horse.

Oh my god!

Thinks it's the worst horse in games and celebrated the ending.

Have you ever heard of opinions nearly the opposite?

I mean, that's wild.

Wow,

you started the show with a showstopper on that one.

Holy fuck.

I'm doing wondering, like, what is the actual worst horse?

Like, oh, it's from a game we haven't played.

Well, yeah, I guess.

I mean, if you're that's that's always the thing.

What's the worst game?

It's like, it's some piece of shit you really knock off pile of fuck.

That barely fucking works.

Sure.

I feel like Assassin's Creed ones horse by today's standards was probably

pretty rough to go back to but

I was blown away by aggro

and yeah when when first playing it

um

bad fucking takes what's the worst take I've ever heard

okay okay a lot of them are mine well well

um

the the the original,

and he will claim mischaracterization, but the Min DMC2 debacle

was quite a spicy one for a minute there.

And

I forget his clarifying point on it, but there was something.

There was something, there was an asterisk to say, no, he didn't think it was the best one, but there was something else to claim.

I don't remember.

But yeah, for a while, Min was DMC2 guy.

And

that wasn't great.

I'm going to say

I just had it, but it left me.

Damn it.

Oh, it's gone.

It's completely gone.

Whatever I was about to say was gone.

I lost it.

It's gone.

Yeah.

I got thinking about God Hand's goddamn review and how fucking insane that is.

And yes, then there was Min on the third birthday as well.

Yeah, I mean, to be perfectly honest,

like, I think Min in general,

somewhere between that and Gurin Lagan and fucking has Susan Mia Harui, like, I'm like, oh, man,

our circles are just not overlapping, bro.

It's just not overlapping.

They're just not overlapping.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, there you go.

Can I give a shout out to Tommy Tallarico shitting on any soundtrack on that reviews on the run that he didn't personally write?

Yeah, the CVS2 review, The Age of 2D, is fucking over, and they need to get this shit out of here.

Embrace 3D.

Look at these old

sprites are old and busted.

Yeah.

What did I say about Other M?

That the combat was way cooler than I expected it to be for a Metroid game.

Team Ninja combat was surprisingly, wildly good for

what I expected to be point shoot.

See, that was always the deal breaker for me because I think you're actually more wrong about that than you are about everything else you've ever said about other M.

Because I hate the concept.

I'd have to, you know, but I just, I remember being like, oh shit, you could fucking parry and flip and melee and shoot and have an actions game going on.

I thought I was just going to run and gun, you know?

I was pleasantly surprised with that.

But

anyway.

I want everyone to submit their bad takes.

Be brave.

Stand up in that Norman Rock.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Have you seen the part?

I know what you're going to talk about.

You're talking about the gym one?

So you have the Normal Rockwell painting and standing up to say the brave thing, and then you have the second view angle in the sniper scope?

Do you remember what that was for?

No, I don't.

I don't.

I remember what it was for.

And like, I've never agreed with it.

It was the gym would be a better place if it was more social and no one was allowed to wear headphones

and it was like it might be the most unit timely despised take I've ever seen

holy shit do not let him stand up Fucking yeah, yeah, Normal Rockwell view of the same guy standing up and everyone looking at him like oh but just in the crosshairs Fuck that take

the shot

That's insane.

That's the most insane thing ever.

Yeah, Riggs the Roadie in the chat.

We know you love Brutal Legend.

You tell us every couple of months whenever there's a real-time strategy game.

And we look and it says, hey, Riggs the Roadie is

blew it over Legend time.

Okay.

All right.

I mean, you know he's serious because he put the umlaut on the U.

Yeah, he got it.

See, I can respect it.

You went to get the you with the umlaut on it just to type the name out properly.

That's fucking wild.

You know what?

Hey, genuinely, I think we can all agree something in the world of bad takes.

I think

guy who absolutely adores something that sucks is a hundred times better than guy who absolutely hates something that rules.

but what about your entire career?

Oh, I suck shit.

Oh, I'm terrible.

Like,

all right,

but I like tank controls and pre-rendered backgrounds, and people say those are

man.

They're ruining my life a little bit in Dino Crisis, but I'm

not even getting the smile.

I'm I'm getting

the fucking juice of it because the camera moves a little bit in that.

Fucking fake panic ass bullshit.

It's wild.

Oh no, I'm well aware that I should try and be more positive because that's uplifting, but sometimes shit sucks.

Hey, man, don't forget the rebrand.

We moved past this.