CSB336: Hindmilk Foremilk Daymilk Nightmilk

Hey Wolves, how you doing?

Yo, yo, how's it going?

It's going great.

Yeah.

How's it going over in the new dad world?

You know, it's about as tiring as you'd expect.

Just

keeping up with all the things and trying to figure out how to solve the Rubik's Cube that is a baby.

Just keep doing it.

That's the solution.

Yeah.

That's the only day you just keep doing it.

Yeah.

And then eventually old problems disappear and are replaced with new problems.

Yeah,

you never clear more than like one side at a time.

Like you get close to clearing one side of the cube and then like it just finds new ways, you know?

But yeah, no, that's that's that's going.

But then you look at them and you're like, ooh, you're short.

Yeah.

Well, you know, but then, and I mean, like, even, even, like, again, just always brand new versions of things.

It's like, okay, so spitting up, how much spit up is too much spit up?

You know, is it like, are you, are you now, are you going to be hungry again because you spat up half of what you just ate?

You know, yes.

Yes.

It seems to be the answer.

Seems to be the answer.

Yeah.

I got really lucky, dude.

My little guy spit up once

that was one of the like the like we we made it all the way out of the infant stage and we're like

nailed it that dodge that one a hundred percent we didn't dodge the the sleep talking baby scream thing

that shit's crazy yeah the noise just dead asleep and go ah

okay

like just haven't had that yet

We get sleep coups, you know.

Sleep coups are nice.

That's so cute.

Sleep coups are cute.

But no, it's more of a,

yeah, like

the spin-up occurs, and it seems to be based on the speed at which milk is ingested.

So slow it down.

But but wait, they're gonna, the speed that they want the milk at,

they're gonna get mad.

Yeah, so you're fighting against yourself.

And anyway, you know,

there is all that.

How's Punch Bomb doing?

Doing, doing, doing good, doing good, you know.

Yeah, is,

is, is, you know,

we're doing the back and forth there.

Apparently, something we learned is that part of postpartum

development is that like the

there's all these crazy things that were like, again, you thought we learned a bunch of, and then it's like, no, no, no, no, no, there's more, you, there's more stuff coming.

And so, like, well, there's a bunch of shit they didn't tell you, so you couldn't back out.

Yeah, one of the things that we got from a nurse was that

the sleep cycles of postpartum mothers like actually change to be more adapted towards baby.

So,

like, while you know, the other partner parent is like just going through their regular sleep into REM, you know, crash cycles.

Mother drops into

the dream state immediately and gets a deeper sleep right away within that two to three hour period and comes back out.

And is like, it's still rough, but it's like the body is adjusting to let the sleep skip the first and second phases and just get right into REM and back out, you know, which is nuts.

So there's another process in human biology that mimics that behavior.

Are you familiar with with it?

Maybe I forget.

It's called sleep deprivation.

Sleep depth, yeah.

When you're sleep depth,

you skip phase one and two

and go straight to three and four.

So yeah, I guess that's what.

It might be related, might be.

But apparently that's a part of

what affects moms, you know.

You know what?

It's probably, I'm curious, is this affecting both of you guys?

Because it affected me and Paige, where you went from like, I'm a normal sleeper.

I have a normal sleep depth, to

I think I heard something two blocks away.

Does that mean the baby is in trouble?

Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, both.

And that stays on at all times for sure.

You know, and we're still figuring out the system, but for the most part, you know, besides shifts,

there's things where it's like, well, for example, like to do like a podcast like today or so, because the fact that this is, you know, I'm continuing to do this part means it's like, okay, I do have to get some rest before, you know, doing this

and then put the work in to do it and then afterwards as well.

So that means you know, like a longer period of time before a tag out shift can happen.

And then similarly, I will take later shifts to do like some bottle feeds to let her get a longer shift, you know, in certain places.

So it's just, yeah, it's an ebb and a flow and a back and forth of it.

Hey, Willie, good on you for being such like a cooperative and attentive dad.

It's very different from our parents' generation.

It's

well, yeah.

I mean, hey, I'm here.

So there's that.

No, I don't mean that.

But yes, no, it is not.

It is different.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

But yeah, it is very different for sure.

You don't mean that.

Yes, no, it's crazy different.

And what I will say is it also just, it's more logical in the sense that, like, being up early damages me more than it damages her.

And being up late damages her more than it damages me.

So.

Oh, yeah, no.

You run into all these setups where you're like, if you wrote this down on paper, it's like, that's, is that unfair and it's like no no no but it's it's not the same on paper so like for example i have an easier time waking up in the morning than paige does right and the reason why that is is because the boy tends to kick and claw at her at night more than he kicks and claws at me so i get up at six or seven or whatever but also because i'm dad he's more likely to play with his blocks and toys for me in the morning.

Okay.

Whereas in the morning, if Paige gets up with him at seven, it's mom, mom, mom mom mom mom play-doh play-doh mom mom and it's like it's it's completely completely different

yeah um

there's also the problem where like okay so if we want to optimize like battery recharges if i can run the whole night shift and then you know skip the feed and give a full double shift you know uh while i did a couple of those while she stays asleep that'd be great but uh 3 a.m is premium premium breast milk hours and that's the time where it matters the most because you can produce the most you can up your your supply the most and like but still

like having having to do that but also having to feed the child and then put the child back down and then the whole the whole thing that's still the whole thing no for sure and so it's just like sacrifice whatever you need to to keep your sanity make sure that that you don't want to make it so that you can't like function but like there's these things where they go if you can make one of these happen, make sure it's that 3 a.m.

one because between two and five is when this is the, and then you're like, oh my god, like, so that starts to matter more.

And before you know it, we're walking out of the, the, like, you know, so there's CLSCs, you know, which is the

whatever, like, um, it's a public health, public health clinic, exactly, like in Quebec.

And, you know, you were, and then we're catching words that we never heard before.

We're learning about

day milk and night milk.

Oh, yeah, day milk and night milk.

Absolutely.

And then, you know, and so, and then I'm.

You want to separate though?

Okay, okay.

Well, so here's the thing.

And like, we cross-reference that with other nurses that we talk, that are talking to, because we have some people that are just like, okay, we have a good resource of someone that's like, this is this sound, is this a real thing?

Is this some bullshit?

You know, and thankfully, they've been pretty, pretty solid on that.

And it's like, okay, so the day milk and the night milk thing, it sort of exists but there's not a whole lot of conclusive like a 50% difference it's not a slam dunk and also there's a whole lot of like misconceptions and misunderstandings about what the it's supposed to be implied what what it's implied to be is not exactly what you're getting and furthermore some parents some moms literally just their the milk they get later in the day has more of one or the other in it.

Right.

Everybody's.

So the idea is supposedly that like there is

day milk in the morning, it has

more,

what was it?

No, okay, night milk in the night has more

melatonin,

and that makes baby sleepier, but that also makes

mom sleepier.

So that gets expressed into both, and thus you

and both baby and mom get rest out of that.

But then furthermore,

morning milk, day milk has more cortisol in it, and that's better for getting energy and breaking up for the day.

Exactly.

And so on.

And so apparently, depending on when you pump and when you feed, if you pump some cortisol day milk and you feed it at night, that might, whatever, whatever.

And it's like, yeah, this shit only matters if you can get a surplus.

So there's that, right?

And then also, like, again, double-checking that with a trusted registered nurse that we know that is aware on things.

She's like, don't, she was upset that we were told about it because she's like, stop.

This is not, especially if you're trying to just, you know, if you're trying to keep up and manage things and keep, it,

keep a healthy supply and keep sane, do not start worrying about these things.

Yeah,

it's insanity, right?

And then she'll do it.

And she's like, she's like, I'm, she's like, I'm mad that you guys started hearing about that.

Furthermore, you know, they, they could have even gotten worse because then you start, not only is there day milk and night milk, but then you could go further into it to get four milk and hind milk.

Have you heard about foremilk and hind milk?

Yes.

So folks, besides there being a conceptual milk for the morning and milk for the night, there is also during a particular feed, the fore milk,

the start, the first drops have more of a certain buildup of fat.

to

you know other ingredients and then the hind milk that comes afterwards has less and so the composition does has different effects so if you're trying to.

Yeah, and you want to be careful because you want to express all the hind milk because if you don't, then you can get a clogged duck.

Clogged up because it hurts.

And you're like, okay, the min-maxing insanity.

There's, you can dive forever into this level of.

Oh, no, it's infinite.

Just give the baby milk.

And when the baby messy, clean the baby.

And when the baby's sleepy, put the baby in a cut.

That's it.

That's it.

And hug the baby.

And tell baby, good baby.

But it just, it's for those for those mothers who have to dive deep into the item world

They can dis they can discover the disguise Yes, for the disguise the disguia mothers can discover more about the four milk hind milk day milk and night milk.

You know

champion of the sun

Yeah, so proper I like that's one of those where it's like okay those words erasing those from just immediately just that's done wrote them down so I could bring them up today and never again

fuck that

I have also, I guess, discovered the worst gacha system.

My least favorite.

Worse than the laboo-boos.

My least favorite gacha system.

All right, let's talk about it.

I'm calling it the diaper gacha system.

Oh, that's right, yeah.

Because you never know what's waiting after you.

Like, you're like, oh, I think I see.

You know what, Willie?

You know what?

I'm going to reverse this on you.

Yeah.

This is the best gatch assist.

Is it?

Because with time and practice, you go from I have no idea what's in here to I will always know what's in here.

Well, okay, where we're at.

You eventually get to the part where you can look at the child and be like,

I know what you got going on.

So I've seen.

So that's the thing is I have seen,

there's always like, you know, you got one pull, right?

And what is that?

That's the sound of you hearing.

And you go, oh,

Jesus.

Okay, fuck, right.

And then, you know, and then what comes next?

And you're like, well, other times you might see the knees bend a bit and you might see like a

you're like, all right, all right.

But you don't know for sure what's going on, right?

Um,

and so, you know, take a look and I'm like, that sounded bad.

Let's, let's, but waking you up is also also a part of this process.

So changing is also a wake-up.

So that's good.

Let's get all, you know, all of all emergency measures on the table.

You know,

fucking red alert.

Tasmat suit on.

Battle stations are go.

Got the little, got the diaper cream even needed if I see an irritation.

And open it up.

And hey, we're clean.

Nothing in there.

False alarm.

False alarm.

That was just a fart, you know?

Okay.

Ha, jokes on you.

I was waiting for you to open the diaper.

Ambush.

Yes.

So great.

That's a great gacha system, right?

So I'm like, awesome.

We got some good stuff going on there.

And then, like, you know, other times you're like, okay, well,

it's been too long now.

So I know.

Oh, man.

I know

that there is a.

a pity system

in play here where it's like, oh, we've gotten, we've gotten in the, we were in the clear for too long.

so a reverse pity system is here.

And like, you put the baby down and it's heavier and you're like, ah.

Bro, one of the worst feelings, like genuinely of like taking care of an infant is like, you're supposed to have,

I think it was 12 to 14 dirty diapers a day in the early infant stage.

And it was supposed to be like eight to ten wets.

Yep.

We're talking two to four.

Six wets.

Six wets and six wets and three dirties are what you're looking for.

I'm sorry, I forgot the numbers booked.

And then you hit like day three, and you're like

there's trouble coming up.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Yeah, because it's it's been too quiet out here.

There's a trouble.

There's a trouble coming.

Trouble comes

storms brewing, you know.

And you know, when you see the little glow of purple

on the gate or the rainbow gate before your horse girl runs out, or you see

the little purple Overwatch coin shoot into the air.

That's right, yeah.

That little preview of a good thing is about to happen.

You even have that ability because folks, what they have on the diapers is on the bottom, there's a yellow line, and

only

when P is detected, that line turns blue.

So you can put the baby down and already get a preview of the color where you're like, oh, okay.

But if you're lucky, it's it's just a blue line and you open it up you're like oh cool easy it's just peak you know i found that blue line to be totally useless i i found it to be totally useless i find it very handy um so no here's the thing i found it i did find it handy and then i found it useless huh well how so

um

Because

it becomes like,

well,

you hit a point in which, like, to some degree, the line is always blue.

Okay, so for us, it's and then you're like, well, no, now I'm actually just running it on a timer.

Is it, is it, is it, has it been 90 minutes to two hours?

Change.

Okay, right?

Like, every single time.

Right now, it's, it's random.

It's completely random.

And, um,

and because I'm recording everything,

all the data is going down because we're counting it.

Are you, are you Excel spreadsheeting your child?

It's not an Excel spreadsheet.

It's an app, right?

And it's an app that

basically goes, hey, it's been three hours.

Breastfeed now.

Right.

And while you're at it,

there's a button that says, change diaper.

There's a button that says, when's the last time you did that?

When's the last time you did a

vitamin D drop, for example?

You got to do one of those every morning, right?

So just little things like that.

And then one of the, and it's, and it's like, and you can set reminders, so it's nice because you basically have like,

this is, yeah, we got recommended to basically like track this type of stuff because if you're going wait, how many poops was it for the day?

No, no, no, no, guys, no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop.

You don't know what you're talking about.

If you have to count a certain number of peas, poops, feeds, changes, cord cleaning, because the

umbilical cord has to fall off, and there's a number of cord cleans you have to do as well.

There's a lot of data you need to track in the first couple weeks of a baby's life.

That if you're not keeping track of all that, you're not

you're you're you're you want to do the best job possible.

You want to make sure that you're it's it's so weird because, like, we're at two different life stages here, and like I vividly remember, I vividly remember me and Paige tracking everything, but it wasn't, we didn't, we weren't writing it down, we were just conferring with each other.

When's the last time you changed him?

I changed him, and you know, you'd look at your phone and time it.

I changed him at X amount of hour.

When did you last change him?

I changed him at this time.

Okay, well, how much time is that?

That was 72 minutes.

Okay, that's time for change or a check.

yeah i mean like but then that that segues into vibes yeah later on for sure after a couple months i'm sure that that segues into like a pat on the butt going

but the yeah this yeah you need you need a new one so it's the book is not here i was gonna grab for it but there's a book that's like a the guide you know for the the provincial guide it's like toddlers to tots it's a thick book that has like all the things from pregnancy to delivery to postpartum and so on.

And they give you, there's literally charts in there, right?

And so there's fact fact sheets and charts and things that are like on a day-to-day basis from the first, from day one to week one to week two, all these things, the number is changing.

The color of poops is changing.

The amount of...

Oh, yeah.

No, the color is crazy.

And then also if you're, if you're feeding with a bottle,

you need to know how many milliliters extra per day.

So you're counting five extra milliliters per day up to a certain point.

There's so much data that if you just go, nah, fuck it, I'm going to wing it.

You're going to get a lot of that wrong.

So all this to say that there's a number of like apps out there that track this stuff.

And yes.

This is not necessarily an exact science down to the milliliter.

Of course, you're not getting it wrong.

Okay.

If you're a single milliliter off.

Okay.

No, that's not what I'm saying or implying.

However,

there is...

a generalized, there's a lot of it that they keep open-ended, where they're like, we're not going to tell you that, like, some, some guys, some of the parts, because I also looked up beyond this one we got, I also just looked online at others, and some of them were like, oh, give your baby one ounce, right?

If you're with a bottle at this phase, give your baby two, right?

Give your baby 60 milliliters or up to 90 or whatever the case is.

And there's a wide range.

And the idea is your baby will tell you how they're feeling about how much they got.

You'll know fairly easily, fairly quickly,

based on how they respond, based on the speed of how you feed them, whether they're fussy afterwards, and so on, and diaper changes and everything.

So you do learn about it.

But they basically are giving you that range.

And

unfortunately, if you overdo it with like feeding, for example, they'll spit up and it'll let you know, hey, they had too much, you know.

But

the point I'm getting at is the amount of things we're tracking here.

When I look at the book they hand you and it says, yeah, six wet diapers and at least three dirty diapers for

starting on phase day five.

But like the day before that, the numbers were all different and stuff.

I'm like, okay, so I'm using this app and counting that stuff out.

So when we're marking, I see the blue line, I go, oh, that's a wet diaper.

That's one of three for the day that were needed.

Okay, cool.

Everything's on regular track.

Now, Wooly, I'm going to tell you something you're not going to want to hear,

which is, especially because you're a numbers guy and you love to track.

Sometimes it won't be accurate or right or wrong.

Sometimes it'll be out the way.

Well, no, it's just laws of averages

don't preclude for outlaws.

Of course not.

So my guy was like a pound underweight.

Well, not underweight, but he was like a little baby.

And so you had to alter

the whole curve of the graph.

You know what the nightmare graph is?

Oh, you know what the one that's fucked up is?

Is

milestones for like speech and shit like that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's assuming you have a little girl, which is fine for you because you have a little girl.

But little girls are like eight months more advanced than little boys when they're like one and two.

And so you're looking at the fucking milestone.

You're like, holy shit, what the fuck?

Oh, wait, no, no, he's a boy.

It's fine.

Yeah, no, I, I, and with all of these things, you know, there's a heavy caveat of like, everyone's different, everything can go out the window, of course.

But I just want to look and go, like, while we're tired and not paying attention, to go, like, wait, how many times did you pee yesterday?

Oh, shit, once?

Hmm, that's a little low.

Okay, what about the day before that?

Oh, seven?

Okay, we're fine.

You know, as opposed to one, one, two, uh-oh, that seems pretty low.

Let's call somebody and ask: hey, what do you think?

You know, no, there's only

one number on that whole chart that I got really worried about, and it ended up being completely fine, and we were worrying for nothing.

But it was like, hmm,

zero,

zero,

okay,

zero, okay.

And then you're a day four and you're like, hmm.

All right, we're going to go down to urgent care.

What's going on?

No.

Wait.

Don't.

Yeah.

It's fine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, there's a, there's a couple of those for sure.

Um,

yeah, there's, there's, there's some where

you look at it and you're like, that doesn't seem right.

And then at one point, the nurse is like, okay, um, let's measure.

And then they pull out like a chart and start calculating graphs into the future.

And they go, okay, well, on this date, you had this number.

And on this date, you had that number.

So based on this chart, yeah, you're fine.

And you're just like.

Have you done the like the height, weight, percentile, graph, weighing at like the

health center?

We did, yeah, we did the weight, which is like the, you know, how much of your birth weight do you get back to, you know?

And so, yeah, we, we, we did, we checked out some of those.

Um, we checked out, uh,

I mean, there's, there's little things out there.

There's like, there's like, um, um, like jaundice numbers for like yellow scale.

And you're like, oh, what do those numbers mean, you know?

And then it's like, yeah, you.

How much jaundice they got?

It's like, okay, well, they're all going to get some, but

how they all come out a little jaundice.

You know, but then you're like, and then that's got to get out of their system through peas and poops.

So then you're going to see yellow diapers for a while, you know?

But for the most part, baby peas supposed to be clear, right?

And then some crystals start showing up, and you're like, wait, what?

You know, so yeah, wild shit overall.

But

anyway, the, the,

it's, it's such a, it's such a fascinating time because you're like looking at the floor and you're going, uh,

every day is a miracle.

I also,

and you mean it.

Yeah.

I, uh, the things that the things that I hate are when like

two

very reasonable, two respectable sources of information conflict with each other, and then you go.

Oh, ignore them both.

Yeah, and well, I'm just like, okay, well, here's a stick.

Now you two need to fight to the death, and then the winner will be right.

Because even stuff where they're like, okay, we stocked up on pseudo creme, right?

And that's your diaper cream.

And then it's like, okay, what do you need this for?

And it's like, all right, well, if you see diaper rash start kicking in, diaper rash should only

and that shouldn't be a problem unless I think you know the baby's skin is very sensitive or

if there's too long between diaper changes, if you don't catch them quick enough, then they can start to get irritated and red and then rash up.

So then you got to put some of that cream on.

Yeah, the instant you see that red, you grease that baby up.

Right.

Well, okay, well, no, because one source said it's for rashes.

So if you're on top of it quick enough and you don't see too many issues with the diaper change and irritation, then you're fine to just keep going regular and just pay attention.

Nah, grease them.

And then the other person said, if you see any red at all, go for it, right?

Grease them.

And so I'm like, okay, wait.

Get that calendula cream and just grease them.

And then how do you apply?

And then been looking at it.

So there's two schools of thought on whether to go preemptive on a lot of diaper cream or just like wait for the rash, you know, looking online with the official usage of it, trying to find, you know, what the middle ground is.

There's also a like, some folks, it's like, okay, so are are you supposed to spread it thin and buttery across as much of the area?

And it's like, no, cream cheese it, right?

Just.

No, man,

I'm making a

Chicago-style hot cake.

You're icing a cake.

You're icing a cake.

Yes, exactly.

Absolutely.

And so that's what we're learning.

Like, I'm going to need to trade the child off to mom because I'm going to need to spend like four or five minutes washing my hands.

You're layering it on.

So we got these spreading tools that are pretty handy, like that stick to stuff.

So it's like you can quick grab and paste them up.

But all this to say that it was

unclear initially whether to apply to some red or some not.

And I think we kind of went with, let's apply to the parts that

are starting to get irritated.

Yeah.

You're not an idiot.

No,

and it's also going to be clear where it's just like, ah, if she's getting irritated by that, if that feels bad or so, then you're like, oh, well then, yeah, you should get some cream on that to make sure this doesn't get worse for sure, you know?

Anyway, anyway, all that is,

it is interesting just like looking at this chart of all these little things throughout the day.

And

the app, admittedly, because so the funny thing is that

Because charting all this information is like clearly two things that are useful for a lot of people is like charting all that info and also having a white noise machine.

So your camera.

Oh, white noise machine is the best.

But like your camera has one built in, your snoo has one built in, the hatch has one built in,

and the snoo app has your diaper changer tracker metrics if you want to use it for that.

So does the camera.

Like these all, they're all offering all these things or whatever, right?

But the one I ended up going with was, yeah, one that a nurse recommended.

And it was pretty good in the end because basically me and Punch Mom can both just on the same app do things, track and update and put things in.

And like, again,

you know,

when you don't know, you don't know, audience.

But here's how detailed like things get sometimes.

When you're breastfeeding, they're going to ask you how much time on the left one and how much time on the right.

And you're actually supposed to like start and stop so that you can get a feel for how much time on a particular side was spent.

And that'll give you a better indicator of, because you can't measure how much they're swallowing because it's hidden from you, from you.

So the time spent gives you an

also they lie.

So you're getting a bet, guesstimating according to the time spent, and then as you alternate, that also tells you more about like how the production is going to go.

Because as you empty one boob out, you got to get the other one in there, and you need to rotate the whole thing.

So, like, it's actively a thing, you know.

Um, let me ask you a

more

ideological question.

Are you the type of person who the data relaxes or causes anxiety?

Um, the data relaxes because

I just don't need to remember it because I wrote it down.

You know?

Because for me, looking at the chart makes me feel like I have to do the chart perfect.

And this is where the warnings came in about the sock,

right?

Because that outlet is...

got so much data, but there's a lot of warning from professionals on just like, if you are paranoid to begin with, this becomes a magnifier.

So you have to be careful.

The owlet has a lot of good.

We loved our owlet, but the owlet has one purpose.

And the purpose of the owlet is, is the baby alive

when you're not looking at the baby?

That is the number one purpose of the owlet.

And so.

Tracking their sleep and all that other shit is like, it's all nice, but it's also not super reliable.

But like, does the outlet give me a heart rate or does it say zero or air rate?

And so you can dive into these like threads where people are going, hey, I have an anxiety disorder.

I find myself staring for hours, not able to.

peel away because I can't accept that the baby is going to continue breathing when I'm not looking at it.

Right.

And they're like, I'm getting this outlet so that I can relieve myself of that anxiety.

And And it's like, okay, that might help, but it also might make it worse.

It depends.

How were you expressing that?

Because there's also moments where the contact on their ankle might just separate.

And

that happens.

And it's fine, but it's just a mechanical failure, but it'll give you a thing going, yo, alert, alarm, you know?

And I dealt with that personally because during my diabetes study thing, I was wearing a continuous glucose monitor.

And every once in a while, I'd roll over and it would just like the contacts would fail, and it would be and then that means all the sugar in your body would fail.

Yeah, and so like it's beeping, saying you're having an emergency, go to the ER right now.

And I'm like, actually, I just rolled over and like my gut just kind of pushed the thing so that it stopped connecting properly.

You know,

you know, what's uh, you know, what the Outlet did?

Despite the fact that the Outlet is not like a medical-grade device and it's not to be used for this purpose, it did have one very useful non

non-Is baby alive or not thing where it's like the heart rate thing is pretty close and you can't take it as like a certainty, but you can notice trends, right?

And what you can notice, which we noticed at a certain point, which was like, hey, that's weird.

His BPM is like 10 higher than normal across the board the whole night, and he was fussy.

Time for everybody in the house to get sick.

Oh, you can't see.

Like, we got just the tiniest preview.

Time for everybody to get sick as fuck.

Oh, you can see it coming.

Damn, that's crazy.

That's nuts.

Wow.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, like, you know, in the end, that's that's useful to know.

But consensus-wise and such,

there was an overall thing that's just like, this is meant for a month and beyond, anyways.

So do not use it before a month is the, you know, all the official recommendations and in general, like for people with their casual suggestions too.

So

excuse me.

What I was going to say about tracking though is

the

like

it is very easy to use one of these apps though to become like the

bad data parent where

because

okay things to track okay so right now yeah hey that's awesome awesome.

So, right now I looked at it and I can see that, um, yeah, hey, right, boob, 14 minutes, 31 seconds.

Good stuff, right?

Happening right over there.

Now, all that is there: bottle feeds, diaper changes, vitamin D, you know, that you got to do, um, and then general weights, baths, and so on.

But then, as you scroll down into the other sections, it's tracking things like

toothbrushing,

it's tracking things like tummy time, crying,

playtime,

sleeping.

And you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We don't need that level of granularity applied to

every activity in life.

Every activity in life does not need to be on the chart, but it allows you to do that if you're that type of person, you know?

I mean, look, if it's something where you're like, I need to, it'll have like vaccination, doctor visit, temperature, et cetera.

If you need to treat.

Okay, yeah, vaccination do that one.

Yeah.

I mean, we, we got a phone call the week before all of our appointments.

It was like, are you still on for your appointment?

And we'd be like, yeah.

Yeah.

And, and, and to be fair, like, if you forgot to do tummy time today, right, then it, then it'd be nice to be like, oh, we did it.

You know, some kids just don't do tummy time.

Like, that's, that's a cultural thing as well.

Like, people in France don't do tummy time at all.

But if you have other, but if you spend more time on the, like, doing tummy time with a parent leaning on their back, then you're going to get that development naturally, right?

So depends on what your habits are.

Like, I spend a lot of my time with her, like, leaning on me.

So, she's kind of doing tummy time that way anyway, versus with mom, like, she's never in that position.

Hold on, thought.

We got some young people who are like, what the fuck is tummy time?

Yes.

So, hey, what we're going to learn about as these days go on, folks, are the things that babies need.

One of the things things babies need is tummy time, where that is time spent on their stomach.

Because generally speaking, babies who sleep on their sides or on their face down have a way, way, way higher risk of SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome, where you're going to choke on spit-up or a million other things are going to go wrong.

So don't do that.

That's bad.

You want babies to safely sleep on their back.

In fact.

But that means they're on their back almost all the time.

Exactly, right?

So swaddling them in, which means containing them and locking them in place so that they can't roll over and risk their lives by doing so, is nice and safe.

Furthermore, when they spit up with their heads facing upwards or to the side like that, it's safer because, again, it's not going to block the air and come back up and choke them.

Great.

What you're getting from that, though, is

also the soft spot on their head, in the back and on the top, needs to even out by looking in both directions.

So you want to make sure that they're getting enough rotation to, you know,

not get any things going on there.

Let me ask you a question.

Does your daughter have a preferred side to sleep on?

Her head, not yet, but her head is locking into place sometimes in a way where we're like, yo, stop.

Let me turn you that way now.

Dude, oh my god.

And it's so strong.

Hey, hey, you got lots of time to do that because our guy was the same.

He's like, I want my head over here.

Like, no, I'm trying to even you.

Yeah, bro.

I don't want you to have like a square head.

Exactly.

So what I'm doing is I'm unclecking the latches on the snooze, on the swaddle, and I'm flipping the baby upside down to make sure that she looks towards the fancy glowing light with the heartbeat coming out of it to be like, Look, look, look, look, look over here.

And it's like, okay, what's that?

Good.

Now make sure you curve out that side too.

You got to get both sides.

But all this to say is...

It's like a pancake, man.

But all this to say that the weight distribution of you, an adult,

generally speaking, for

women, it's in their hips.

For dudes, it's in your shoulders and chest area.

For babies, it's all in the head.

It's like 99%.

Yeah, it's a bowling ball with limbs attached to it

with tape, right?

So

that means a baby doesn't have the arm strength or shoulder strength or leg strength to push themselves up and move around.

You have to develop.

They basically got nothing going on.

They have to develop that.

And the way you help them develop that is by putting them on their stomachs so that they do struggle to do these kind of push-ups and learn to get the arm strength to manipulate and hold their bodies up as

their head stops being the center of gravity for them.

Yeah, so the long and short of it is you put your baby on the stomach and then you stand in front of your baby, you sit in front of your baby, you go, hey, baby, look at me, look at me, look at me.

And they go, I hate this.

I hate you.

Yeah,

it's like doing a plank, right, when working out.

It's like,

but it's necessary, right?

So yeah, that's tummy time.

They hate it so much, dude.

Like, I look back on it, and it's so funny, but, like, I would get so upset because, like, you have to do your tummy time, and he would get so mad.

So, she's like, you can hear her going

and flopping to like position herself, but she's not crying as a result of it, thankfully.

It's me.

It will be about month three or four before your child discovers rage, and then you will see.

I mean, we are getting four, we're getting different forms of, hey, hey, hey, hey, but it's not yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Directed anger.

You will see see your little girl look at you in your eyes, and you will see that she is mad at you for putting her on her tummy.

Yeah, but it is necessary, right?

It is, that's what it is.

You got to do planks.

You got to get tummy time in there.

Anyway, so, but, but, like, keeping track of that is something that's not.

This baby can't even train under one Earth's gravity.

What I want to know is, like, when can we go do a Nirvana album?

You know, is that, like, immediately?

Because they say scientifically it's immediately, where you can start.

Well, I don't know if you're supposed to dunk the baby under the water, man.

Yeah, that's the thing.

And also, like, it's exhausting because the temperature change and all that stuff is a lot for them.

They, they, you know, they got to go to sleep immediately afterwards.

But

it is cool that it's like, oh, well, they do open their eyes and can swim immediately, but I don't know if they should, you know.

Anyway, so that's what's going on, you know.

Diaper Gacha and

baby metrics.

Yeah, you're probably going to be just doing variations of this for about two and a half more months.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like I said, it's.

And then you're going to get used to the sleep schedule.

You're going to get used to it.

You absolutely are.

But it's that.

Plus, again, like you're like, you're, like I said, you're working on spec.

You're not getting any payment for this whatsoever.

And then maybe in three to four months' time, you'll get a smile, and then you'll get your pay.

You know?

But there's not a smile to be had for a long time.

No, no, no.

So it's all just internal work.

First of all, you've received the greatest payment of all, the knowledge that you're a big man.

Oh.

Because like, I think, you know, like the boomer generation is so like fucking stupid and they were always complaining all the time.

But like one of the things that I don't see a lot of people talk about, I'll use, I'll use my stupid dog here as a, as a thing.

When I was holding my little boy in my arms, and I was, like, looking at him, and he looked like me, and I'm like, I'm such a big man.

I made the baby.

Yeah, I'm so cool.

Look at this cool thing I did.

Not you.

You're from the street.

But like,

but like, yeah.

Yeah.

No.

That's baked in.

Yeah.

And then you're talking to your wife and you're like, man, you made a little person.

That's so crazy.

That's so crazy.

Dude, we're like two years plus, and we're still looking at this little guy running around singing his, he's singing his ABCs now.

And we're just looking at each other, going like, oh my God, we made like a little guy.

It's so crazy.

No, like, I was pointing out, I'm like, there was that, that thing, that, that was inside of you.

That was a person inside of you.

You grew that.

Yeah.

That part is,

I don't think, ever going to make any sense.

Oh, yeah.

We're still at exactly the same level of incredulity as we were at like one month.

But I'm also like, can't I just shove the bottle in the umbilical cord?

Can't I just

feed them the way that they want it to be fed?

That is not dad's purview.

Yeah.

That is, I don't know.

And there is that perspective of like everything is crying because once upon a time the temperature never changed

Like I never got tired and I never got hungry because it all just showed up in my stomach and exists oh yeah being out of the womb sucks it's all it is

yeah it's just denying you like um

the the state of existence that was all taken care of and now one by one this there's weird guy here that is not mom what's up with yeah yeah one by one there's things hunger that exist now and temperature and, you know,

light and dark and, you know, a million other bits.

I don't like this onesie.

Oh.

Yeah, okay.

Well, we got a little fancy this week and we went for a two-piece outfit, you know?

Oh, you're insane.

Well, it worked.

It was very cute.

It worked out.

But there was definitely the like, are you seriously expecting me to pull this over their head?

Like, what is wrong with you?

You know?

Like, we're at this stage right now where we're like, all right, this shirt,

you hold up the shirt to the little man and we're like, yeah, this shirt, he has not outgrown this shirt.

And then you go to put it on, and you're like, his head has outgrown this shirt.

Because much like his dad, my guy has a big ass head.

Okay.

And so, so, like, he needs to wear clothes that are a little big for him just so he can get his noggin through the neck hole.

It's, It's wild.

And then, of course, the shirts that you have at this phase need to clip through the bottom.

And like, you know, that depends on how the diaper is clipped and so on.

We put socks on, and it was like,

let's just entertain this idea.

And seemed to be fine, you know, for the most part for Punch Bomb.

For me, she just would not keep her left sock on, you know?

And she kept just kicking it off.

And I'm like, okay, you know, whether it's just too small or too large or you just don't like it or whatever,

that's a thing.

um

but like if you if they're down in a place where so if they're not swaddled in and locked in with the sack or so um that kicked off sock suddenly is not just ah she doesn't like it that's loose bedding

and that's brrr brr brose bedding you cannot have loose things loose fabrics loose anything in the can't do it in the thing where baby's sleeping so you know you might idly just go not think of that as much but in the context of of being in the bassinet, it becomes a huge problem.

So, yeah, even just paying attention to that as well is

anyway.

You're doing a good job, bud.

We're doing stuff.

We're trying.

I also hate that the camera

that we have, it does the daytime, nighttime view.

And at nighttime, it switches to the black and white, you know, like night.

Of course it does, yeah.

But with black and white, you can't see spit-up.

So you'll hear like a gurgle burp, and you'll go look and see, and it's actually nothing, it's fine.

But other times, there's spit-up, but it's not, the contrast doesn't show up.

Whereas in the day with the color, it does.

So sometimes she'll be crying and you're like, okay, what's going on?

And it's like, oh, goddammit, there was spit-up.

That's the problem because she hates the feeling of that happening.

Just check 40 times an hour.

Well, you just got to check 40 times an hour.

Yes, that's correct.

You know,

yeah.

Anyway, that's yeah, having the infinite is like, surely there must be a better way.

Nope.

No, there isn't.

I mean, there's

well, there's parts where I'm just like,

oh, can we get like a

moisture detectors or, you know, or

it's your eyes.

Use your fucking eyes.

Because it works fine half the day, and then the other half, it just fucking doesn't.

Anyway, that's fine.

I also learned the hard way too.

Like,

we were like carrying her out of the house and I was like, okay, well, car seat, you know, and I'll just do that.

Should be fine.

We'll pull up, we'll park, and we'll

bring her with us.

But then we ended up parking a couple blocks away from the place and you're like, ah, shit.

Hey, you know, that car seat's pretty fucking heavy if you gotta carry it more than five minutes.

So all of a sudden, you're like, okay, fuck, we have to walk with the stroller that it clicks into that, you know, and just

you're making these mistakes, you know, just not thinking about it.

Remember, okay, so you pulled out

the cool like instant changing station that you drop to the floor and you go like, but

it's all there.

Got one of those, right?

Yeah.

And those things are handy.

But the ones I have at home have the belt that locks her in.

So when she's Sonic the Hedgehogging, I'm like,

you stay.

I can clean that butt.

And does your travel one have a stop rolling strap?

No.

Okay.

because i want to see if that exists i don't know if that exists it doubt it because i feel like because the travel one doesn't lock to the floor yeah so what you're supposed to be using it on is a changing table and the changing table supposed to have a strap but every changing table i have ever used had a broken strap okay so what you use is uh my uh my pro tip on how to make sure your kid doesn't roll off the changing table when you're changing them out of the house is to uh use your fucking arm to pin them to the changing table and do the rest of the process with one hand.

This is one method.

This has been used.

I have gotten particularly good at putting a foot between each of these fingers and doing that, you know, so that they're all locked in with the one hand.

But

there's times where it gets fussier than others, and you have to basically go for the

Hannibal Lecter,

you know, strap him down, and

you stop spinning right now while we clean you up.

If all else fails, if all else fails,

they can't fall down if you are on the floor.

Yeah.

I have various changing stations set up throughout the place.

And

I'm

getting down on the floor is difficult.

I can't work as well for that for me.

It's just my knees kind of suck.

Oh, yeah, you want to hear

it.

Bigger guy.

It's just.

This might change your life because I made a mistake.

I made a mistake learning to change diapers.

Do you change

your baby's diaper with their head pointed

left and their feet pointed left?

I watched you do this.

I watched you put them down and you were like, oh, shit.

Wait.

No, I have to be on the right side.

My kids' head has to be pointed left or I put it on.

You can't do this.

I literally can't do it.

I don't know how to do it.

I've put them all, I was thinking about when that happened, and based on that, I was watching.

I put them all in a sideways orientation, but I mostly am able to change from like facing the bottom, you know?

So,

and it works well for the scoop and contain process.

Because I'm on autopilot at this point.

Like, I can change a mean diaper in like 30 seconds, as long as his head is pointed to the left.

Yeah.

No, I'm, I'm, I can do either or.

I haven't done right side yet, but like, that's smart.

It's versatility is going to be important, yes.

Also, because you got to, you know, there's some times where you're like, ah, shit, this is more than just a quick one.

You know, this is a, like, your entire waist down needs to be like fire sanitized, you know.

Don't use fire on the baby.

No, no fire on the baby.

But don't, but bad to do.

Yeah, no, you know, but it's just like you got to get in there sometimes more than others, you know, and those are the ones where she also is being extra like

from your

perspective, right?

It's like

I've never had a gigantic, like a person 10 times larger than myself change my poopy diaper.

Well, actually, I have, but I don't remember.

Um, I wouldn't be super good to go for it right now.

Let me tell you.

So, thus, Liu Kang bicycle kick while it's happen while it's while it's happening yeah

um anyway that's that's kind of the deal that's what's going on um i attempted to

play

half an hour of jump king

yeah and jump king man jump king is a game where you are a knight and there's a hot babe at the top of the tower And you got to jump to get to her.

And you can hold the button to do a long jump, or you can tap it to do a small jump.

But once you're jumping, you cannot change your trajectory in the air.

There's no DI.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah.

I'm looking at it.

This looks cool.

Maury was talking about it.

Yep.

And there's an old man at the bottom that's like, ha, I remember I tried to jump out there once and I fell down and never tried again.

Good luck.

And he talks shit about you every time you fall back down.

Sick.

And so, yeah, you're doing a like

almost

getting over it, Bennett Foddy style streamer challenge game because it's very easy to fuck up the jump and fall back to the bottom.

And

it gives you some variation because you can walk left and right and control the height of your jump, but you just you must jump the correct perfect height and hold left or right or neutral.

I'm watching a video of a streamer just falling the entire length of the world.

Shit sucks.

Not happy about it.

Shit sucks.

It's one of those.

It's one of those.

Also, you can get up to one pixel on a surface, and the rest of you is floating off of it.

And so you have to make those types of jumps too as well.

So, you know.

You know what?

You know what's going to be really simple.

Right now, your week is going to be

a baby.

Right?

But in a couple of months,

particularly if you're, because you're going to be doing the night shift, like switching back and forth stuff for a long time, right?

You're going to notice there's going to be a really specific period from like that three to nine months.

You're actually going to get in like a ton

of game time.

Like a ton.

But the difference because you're going to be going for like

three, four naps a day.

But it's going to.

And you're going to just have

the human placed in the crook of your arm.

But it's like

so for video people.

Yeah.

And you're going to learn to get real good at this.

But the question is, is it going to be like quality time, you know?

Like certain.

Oh, absolutely.

Because

I cannot play fighting games without being fully locked in like that.

Oh, absolutely.

No, just

lock in your arm.

Sure.

And

get child comfortable.

Or even action games where it's like having the baby monitor.

I'm like, yeah, you want something where you can kind of be distracted, you know?

I put in a crazy amount of,

was it Street Fighter?

Street Fighter out?

I think it was Street Fighter.

I put in a crazy amount of Street Fighter when that guy was like six months old.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, yeah,

once the cycle begins to get regular, we'll see how things shake up, you know?

But for example, this week I was like, oh man, I'm seeing some fucking shits going on with Lost Soul Aside.

Let me check that demo out.

And then I didn't get to, you know.

oh man i i had such a strange experience with lost soul aside was like oh that's coming out good for that guy i hope it's not

yeah and then i just waited for other people to play it

and then other people were like oh wow it's

i saw i saw a clip of a combo um

happening in a in a against a bunch of enemies that were not attacking um and

that's my favorite type of enemy man yeah so the the enemies were not attacking and then there was a big combo sequence And

throughout the entire thing,

there was just no hit stop or weight to anything.

And I was like, oh no,

you're making like that one crucial mistake that from day one should be solved for a game that's been in development this long.

Like, how do you not know that you gotta have the weight of impact on something?

Because it's a one-person game, man.

You know, like that specific pause, right, right as you're doing,

you know,

your high timing, you know, and if you're doing so with,

or you're streaking and you're doing so with a rev off Nero, and there's like a little hit stop on the hit, and it's like, ah,

you know, that little impact moment is so important.

And to not get those when you're swinging at things is

like...

It's crucial to making it feel good.

So I was like, damn, that sucks.

And kind of just, I'm like, what are people saying?

How's this going?

And between the demo and full purchase,

sounds rough.

Sounds rough.

They did,

he was one guy, but then, yeah, China did invest, right?

It became part of the

Team China Hero Joy Fund.

Yeah, apparently they scrapped most of the game's story a month before it came out.

Well, all I know is at a certain point, the team expanded.

They got and they put a whole lot of money into it to be like, yo, let's make this a premiere title.

And for all the cool,

like, stylish moves the character has been doing over the years,

and,

you know, it's seven, eight now, I think, that it's been.

Yeah, you just, you don't want to fuck up that combat impact feeling.

Guess what, Wooly?

There's no time left in your life for mid.

No.

No, no, no, no.

There is no time left for mid.

The bottom tier.

There is only time for peak.

Yeah, no.

The ice climber's level of quality has scrolled too high up.

Like,

we can't be looking down there.

You know, there was a book.

It kind of rules, though.

It actually kind of rules, like, really good.

Because you're like, yeah, oh, man.

Because you remember when you were a teenager and you're like, oh, there's nothing to play because I played everything.

Like,

everything that exists.

And now it's the opposite.

I don't even have time to touch all the game of the year nominees.

Well, to be perfectly honest, like I wouldn't have anything to say or care if I have not been hearing about this game for the last decade, right?

Because if like Wukong came out and it were not great or there are problems, I'd be like, okay, whatever, just some random action game came out and there's nothing to say about it.

But the whole like, this was a Twitter game that one person was doing on his own.

And look at this noctis-looking dude, and oh, it's getting its own identity, and it's changing things up a bit, but it's, it's a fan of character action that's like putting in pieces of DMC and putting in pieces of Bayo and other things that they find really stylish, and you kind of are like, Yeah, you go, indie heroes.

I want to, you know, you want to cheer that on when you see that.

Like, um, We Shall Wake back in the day, you know, and stuff like that.

Like, yeah, I kind of am always like rooting for the games that are being developed via tweet over the course of a couple years where they're like, okay, this time the stop sign guy can launch the stop sign combo and do a big hammer thing, you know, or the frog one or the tank one, etc.

Like, the win rate on that specific genre of game is fucking dog.

It's low.

Like, it's terrible.

It's low.

It's low, you know.

I can't even think of one.

No, Ultra Kill.

Ultra Kill.

Aside from Ultra Kill, I can't think of one that I saw in that context.

I'm going to count.

It's not an action game.

It's not a character action game, but I'm going to count

Bloodborne PSX.

You know, I first saw.

That doesn't count.

It's free.

Yeah.

You're not counting.

You mean paid only?

I mean paid.

Oh, okay.

I mean paid.

No, I was just saying games that I discovered via dev tweets in

sandbox environments that eventually became real products that shipped.

Because everything about

the quality metric and the judgment changes when the money dollars happen.

Yeah, but also for me, I'm more just going like how many of them released?

How many of them came out?

Oh, Signalis was shown as a dev tweet game.

Okay, I never saw that.

That's cool.

I never saw those.

I saw a trailer at a show.

Okay.

But yeah, no, so that's kind of it.

It's like, I feel like, ah, Lost Soul Aside was, you know, this one.

more like lost soul move aside

it was this one her

it was this one Herculean effort being put in you know um by one person so it's a it's a bummer to see that like it's like ah shit it's making these really easy basic action game mistakes after all this time

so

we're

you know womp womp womp womp womp womp um

and And

yeah, and again,

there is that part of me because I did also see people going, like, I know he still looks like Noctis, but trust,

it's different and stuff.

You're like, okay.

Yeah.

You know.

I'm basing

a character action game based off the troubled, developed Final Fantasy game that ended up releasing as an even more troublesomely developed Final Fantasy game.

Here comes my game.

Game that had troubled in developments and had weird combat with no hit stop.

Oh, I did it.

I did it.

He did it.

He did release Final Fantasy vs.

13.

He really did.

Yeah,

you have to know.

You have to know about hitstop.

You have to know.

You can't get that far and not know.

One of the best pieces of advices I've ever received in my life didn't apply to me at all because I'm not a creative person who makes things.

But it was like, hey, you know that great idea you've had?

The idea that you've thought about since you were like five years old and the one you've been working on and you've had all the backstory for, and

you've been dreaming about making it for your whole life?

Yeah, don't make that your first project because your first project's going to have problems.

And you don't want the pinnacle, your magnum opus

to be the one that has all the problems.

You want the project that you make at the end of your career or middle, fine, fuck it, middle.

So to be the one that you have the experience to actually like, like manage.

Like, look at

Mr.

Toby Fox, right?

Toby Fox Delta runes the actual goal.

Undertale was the practice run.

So drawing for the trash bin is what we learned about in art school, right?

Is like literally learning to make projects and expect them to go nowhere just to get all those failures out so that you can learn how to do the process better.

If you have a pretty good idea, then saving it for that when you're ready, when you're capable of executing it properly is good.

However, for some, it is, it's relative.

For some people, it's better to expect that first project to just have huge problems and fail and know and like know that what you develop way later is going to be a lot better because you'll have the practice by that point, right?

So let being willing to let go is also an equally valid skill to learn and to just be like, this is going to, getting this out and being done with it,

like warts and all, is just as important um you know to being willing to like start the next thing and improve where you made mistakes before yeah that's uh you could call that the cojumbo method where you just make the same game like 15 times in a row and just learn from the last time you made that well no i'm not i'm not saying to say make the same thing every time but uh

you know there were like like i remember in literally in art school with a bunch of students and and people that were working on comics and stuff how a lot of folks had their like their dream comic idea.

And it was kind of like, yeah, just make a version of that that you can get out and finish and be done with so that you can get it off your chest in a way.

Because the problem with sometimes, for some people, holding on to that dream idea the whole time, it kind of like eats away at you inside as this thing, you know?

And like in

many cases, it can be a motivator because you're like, the whole thing about not telling people about an idea is good because it makes you want to work on it harder to show the world because you can deflate your motivation by telling people the cool parts without actually doing them.

And then when they pat you on the back and applaud for you and tell you how cool that idea was, you go, yeah.

And then you never actually have to work on it.

Right.

But it's not universal.

Everyone's kind of different.

You have to learn about your own creative methods, your own self.

And like, if you feel like, you know, you're somebody who's

If you trust in your ability to come up with

something that you want to say later on when you've learned more about the medium that you're working in, then you can take the cool idea you have and get it out the door and just accept that version of it and then move on to the next thing that inspires you or that you're interested in working on.

But there's also people I know who are in death spirals holding on to that one project that they'll never let go of 15 years later,

and it actively ruins your life.

Hey, well, yeah,

what if

you just made the same thing

from 1996

to like the 2020s.

Are you making

and you just made the same game nine times in a row?

Does it sell millions of copies every time you do it?

It starts too near the end a little bit.

Well, you're already doing better than 99.9% of other people trying to do that.

And what if you lost the rights to that game every single time

and so you had to you had to put a goofy little prefix in front of all your games so you call the first one Xenogears and then you leave that company and you completely lose all the rights to everything you made so then you go to work for a new company and you call it Xeno Saga and then you make three of those and then you leave and you lose all the rights to literally every single fucking thing you made and then you go to work for another company and you make Xenoblade, and you're like, Hey,

hey, I think we got it this time.

I think we did it.

I think we actually did it.

So, I beat Xenoblade over the last week.

I beat Xenoblade 1 Chronicles.

Did they do it?

Did they finally do it?

I have never seen a more obvious

excuse of we're like, no, we'll just do it again.

Yeah.

Well, no, we'll just do it again.

At about the 50, 60% mark, I started just looking at the screen and going, I can't believe they're literally just going to do Xeno Gears again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like

plot points so specific,

there are no other games that I have ever seen do them but these games.

And they're just doing them again.

Like, like exactly the same.

And they're so smart about it.

So, Xeno Gears takes place on a far-off alien planet, but it's humans, right?

Xeno Saga takes place in space, but it's the same humans.

And you were who.

And Xeno Blade takes place on a far-off planet, and it's still humans, kind of.

And they all exist just a little bit outside the range that the other games could see.

So even though we lost all the rights to everything, there's nothing in any of them that would directly contradict anything in the other ones.

So, even though it's owned by Square Enix and Bandai Namco and Nintendo, you could just be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Xenogears is totally happening.

We just don't turn the camera over the three degrees you would need to see what's happening in Xenogears.

But it's over, it's definitely

sick.

I mean, if you want to, you can go full-on Mazzinger Zero with it and just have the outlines of the shapes of things you recognize if you want to.

Shadows.

Yeah, you could do that.

Shadowy silhouettes.

You could have some really wildly specific shapes

start to appear.

There we go.

Yeah.

You could have

really important metaphysical, Gnostic influences that just happen to be an incredibly specific shade of metallic red and sea foam energy green

on literally everything of a certain nature.

You could just do that.

Amazing.

Amazing.

Can't stop it.

You could have the symbolic X in every single green, in every single game be offset in a really specific way that only the Xeno games do.

You could just start naming things after things you found in the Bible or the Torah or the Kabbalah or any Gnostic text that you read in high school and went, whoa, that sounds cool.

I'm going to put it in just like Evangelion did.

Love it.

So I beat Xenoblade Chronicles in 40 hours

as part of my beelining series, in which I only did content that was directly in front of me and just went straight ahead the entire time.

That is 12 and a half hours below the average time on just the main story on how long to beat.

So, like, I zoomed through that bitch.

Okay.

Like, I like as fast as you can go.

Do you have a calculation on side quests completed versus skipped?

I picked up side quests that were next to me.

Yeah.

And I did side quests that were in my way.

But do you know if that was like 10% or just

20%?

Okay.

I don't know.

I intentionally did one because it was the only one in the entire game that had voice acting.

Okay.

People are saying like 1%

total.

That's a really good game.

That's a really, really fucking good game.

That is the type of good game that I can see if you played it when you were 10 could become like a not insignificant amount of your personality.

No, if you played it right after you had played Xeno Gears and you waited long enough to be frustrated at it not getting a sequel Well, here's the thing Xeno Gears did get a sequel.

It was called Xeno Saga and they're actually really bad.

Well, that's the problem.

Okay.

Yeah.

So that that kind of salted the earth on it a little bit.

Uh, yeah, no, that's a really,

really,

really excellent, good game.

The Switch version, the definitive edition, makes a bunch of changes that are quite excellent.

That's, it's, um,

it's, it came out in like 2010, 2011, around then.

And it does like a really specific RPG plot line

way better than than a much later Final Fantasy game.

Okay.

And it's like the same villain just executed on a much, much more consistent and more interesting level.

Monolith is like Nintendo-funded, right?

A second party at this point.

It was complicated for a while, but they are just now in Nintendo.

Okay.

Yeah.

And

it's like from a a musical perspective, from a from a cast perspective, from a storyline perspective, it is just top to bottom like a universally excellent game.

There is a bunch of weird systemic nonsense, like the side quest system is still terrible, and uh the gem forging system for upgrades is still like a mess.

Um, there's also um there's a system called heart to heart in that game, which is interesting, but like remarkably poorly introduced and made.

So basically what it is, is as you do side quests with a certain party, or as you do battles with a certain party, so say you're playing as the main guy, Shulk, who is in Smash, and say you've got Dunban, who is the mentor character, and Ricky, the cute little mascot guy, right?

And say you do a bunch of quests.

That will increase these characters' affinities, right?

And it'll be like a sad, it'll be like a sad face and then like a like a line across the mouth space and then like a green happy face and like a blue really happy face and then like a purple ecstatic face right and that shows you how their affinity is how much they get along right well there's what's called a heart to heart sprinkled all over the game and what those are is like hey when you have green affinity between ricky and dunban

you'll be able to go to the heart to heart and they'll be able to have a little chat.

And you'll be able to find out.

Dunban will ask about Ricky's kids and Ricky will ask Dunban about how his arm is feeling.

Like skits in the Tales games.

Absolutely.

Just like skits in a Tales game.

There's only one problem with the heart to hearts in Xenoblade.

Despite the fact that they're interesting and their story content is like very interesting thematically and there's a lot of stuff that you would find out in those.

Like people had to tell me that so-and-so had like an entire romantic subplot that I just completely missed because I didn't do their heart to heart, right?

The problem is, is that every single one I encountered in the game was locked when I got to it.

Literally every single one was locked.

Every single one I got to was like, hey, this is a heart-to-heart between Melia

and Ryan when they are maxed out on affinity.

And I went, I don't have Melia and Rhine in my party, and I never will.

So I guess this shit will just never get done ever.

And then I'm like, well, I rolled me, Ricky, and Dunban for like, sorry, Shulk, Ricky, Dunban for like nearly the whole game, right?

And then I'm like, okay.

And I'll get to like, hey, here's one between Ricky and Dunban.

Locked until max affinity.

Dude, this is like 50% through the game.

I'm not coming back to this.

Like,

so this is anti-B-lining mechanics.

Oh, it's it's super like, hey, when you increase your affinity, why don't you roll back on

every area in the game and see what heart to hearts you've unlocked?

Right.

And I'm like, this sucks.

How about you just have the fucking skits available

when they fucking feel like it?

How about that?

How about I don't have to grind out characters in battles or side quests so that I can find out that Ryan and Melia don't get along or whatever the fuck it is.

And then I recently started playing the DLC called Future Connected.

Or it's not DLC.

It's an extra episode that came with the Definitive Edition.

And they rolled that back.

They're like, okay, Heart to Hearts don't have anything to do with Affinity.

They had to do a story progress.

So as you hit certain limits of the story, you just do them whenever the fuck they want.

Just do them.

Yeah, that's.

And they also gutted the whole, they gutted the whole

gem system.

It's very interesting playing a DLC episode that came out like after its own sequels because they're taking like lessons learned from like Xenoblade 2 and its DLC and backporting them into Xenoblade 1.

Okay.

Because like the Future Connected came out after Xenoblade 2 and its own DLC but after Xenoblade 1.

So it's like it's like a little preview of the sequels and how they work.

Did they sell it like that?

It's part of the definitive edition

on the Switch.

Okay.

There's something else that I need to talk about, Xenoblade, which is really interesting to me.

So you remember what Xenoblade 1 looks like.

It looks like Shulk and those guys, right?

Yeah, the Monado and JRPG.

RPGing it.

Yeah, yeah.

Boy, they say the word Monado a lot.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, the Monado.

It's crazy.

You would not believe the amount of different types of British accents you could hear say the word Monado.

Oh, yeah.

Every corner there's northerners and southerners and cockneys and it's bananas,

eastenders.

But and then you remember what Xenoblade 2 looks like, and Xenoblade 2 looks like some anime gooner shit.

Yes, with the gacha and the costumes and the dating your weapons and all the hentai artists.

Yeah, all the gacha shit.

Yeah, big lewds.

And I was always so confused.

I'm like, what?

That's so strange.

Why did they go from what looks like a fairly normal-looking JRPG that looked classy?

And then they were like, hey, you know what?

We should put in our game?

A bunch of asses and titties, right?

Just

big old titties all over the place.

And then I hit like the 60 or 70% mark in Xenoblade and discovered that the only difference between those games is where those characters live in terms of progression.

Because

you hit like the 60, 70% mark in fucking Xenoplay Chronicles 1, and you start getting some characters.

You start getting some fucking characters.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay, sure, sure, sure.

Right, right.

And they're just, they just got all that shit out there.

And they're just bandering to everything.

Well, I'm just remembering how.

All over the place.

I'm just remembering how every single one of those persona games that I played had at some point that steel bikini you're gonna unlock for the party.

You know, like no matter what, no matter who you, no matter what their energy is or who what you think of them, that's gonna be one of those things that you're gonna unlock.

Yeah, okay, so it was there.

It was there.

Yeah, it was there all along.

It was there, but it was only for people who got deep enough into the game.

And that makes Xenoblade 2 look way more normal by comparison.

Because they're like, well, you beat Xenoblade 1.

You know what we got hiding back here.

So let's just put it up front for y'all.

Yeah, as long as,

like, if there's sincerity to your horny, you know, if

I believe in it, then all right.

Also, like, it's one of those things, like, Xenoblade 2 has a character called Rex in it, and everybody makes fun of him because he's got a bad voice role because he didn't get enough time to do it.

But also, he looks like a weird little weirdo with assless chaps in his weird diving suit, and he looks like a freak.

And then, like, you, the reality of, like a single screenshot later, finding out that he's the Impregnator

completely changes his character before you even get to him in Xenoblade 2.

Got it.

Okay.

Is this one of those things where the game itself is like not that horny, but it's just the aesthetics of these characters?

The game itself is not horny at all.

Right, right, okay.

At all.

It's just what they're wearing.

Yeah.

It's just, it's just, well,

okay, let me let me rock that, roll that back.

The game itself is not horny at all, except for a couple of cutscenes where the camera decides to get super horny.

Okay.

The camera specifically.

None of the characters.

No, that still counts.

That still counts.

But the camera's like, you know what?

We need to do?

We need to pan during this conversation.

I know.

We need to pan right here.

If God is horny, then the game is horny.

That still counts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, no, Xenoblade 1 is great.

I had a great experience just flying through that fucking game.

It was really interesting.

This might be the first RPG I have played in my life in which I was fighting bosses underneath their level.

The first time.

Like fighting a boss that was like level 80 and I was like level 76.

And having a final boss in a JRPG in which I had had to actually fight my shit off instead of just completely roll over them.

As intended.

Yeah, as intended.

Struggle and just barely get past that.

Yeah, it took me like 10 tries to beat the final boss of Xenoblade.

Huh?

Isn't it fun?

And I had to really

clutch it out.

Isn't it fun to

have a tense battle?

Yeah.

Yeah, no, it is.

It was weird, though.

It was very strange.

Yo, that game's great.

That game's super good.

I would advise everybody who likes RPG to play the Xenoblade Chronicles.

Chronicles, not Xenoblade.

Xenoblade's actual title is Xenoblade Chronicles.

Oh, okay, okay.

They literally all have the title Xenoblade Chronicles.

Okay, sorry, then I was messing it up because I thought it was like Xenoblade,

Xenoblade 2, or Xenoblade Chronicles, and then X, Chronicles X?

So it goes Xenoblade Chronicles, Xenoblade Chronicles X, Xenoblade Chronicles 2, Xenoblade Chronicles 3.

But that's not what it actually does.

What it actually is

is Xenoblade Chronicles, Xenoblade Blade Chronicles, Future Connected, which is its extra episode, then Xenoblade Chronicles X, then Xenoblade Chronicles 2, then Xenoblade Chronicles 2, The Undiscovered Country, then it goes goes Xenoblade Chronicles 3, Xenoblade Chronicles 3,

Future Redeemed.

So Xeno Gears was supposed to be episode 5 in a six-episode series.

And then when they made Xenoblade Chronicles, what they did is they made one main game and one DLC for each of them.

So now it is a six-episode series.

Okay, and definitive edition,

Xenoblade Chronicles collects the DLCs for each respective game.

No, no, it's just the first game.

Okay.

Play one, two, three.

That's that's and then if you want robots, you play X.

But there's a Xenoblade Chronicles X Definitive Edition that is coming.

I came out?

That came out.

Yes, right.

Okay.

Yes.

And

there's a very significant possibility

that in 10-ish days, there will be a Nintendo Direct where they announce Switch 2 versions of these games.

That is a gut feeling I have in my ass.

There's a possibility

that they may put out Switch 2 versions of these games.

Maybe.

I always thought about it from.

I don't know.

Okay.

As somebody that was like fairly, you know, like I'm like mid-interested, but not a ton, I always thought that if I jumped in, perhaps I'd consider the one where the where you had the mecha move like as the main thing.

So that one exists totally separate from the other three.

Which is why I was thinking.

Yeah, that's it.

I've heard that before, and I was like, okay, that seems like something I would enjoy doing, you know, but eh,

either way, the interest is not like super duper high.

Cool.

All right.

B-lining successful.

Absolutely.

Well, the irony, of course, is that Xenoblade 3 is one of those games where I'm like, I was told, you know, when someone tells you, hey, even though it's got a title that has a number in it, don't worry, you you don't have to play the other ones.

Oh, that's cool.

Because Xenoblade 3 looks like the one that's like really, really cool and the one that I would want to play the most.

And then I looked at the game's title screen, and the title screen is a mashup of the first two games' title screens.

And I'm like, I don't believe anyone who told me that.

That seems like a massive lie.

Yeah.

That seems like a big lie.

So gotta go through them if you want to get to that third one.

Gotta do it.

Man, this dog is ugly and stupid.

Cool.

Anything else this week?

Yes.

I played

an early access copy of the game Hell is Us yesterday.

Oh, I've been seeing that pop up in the news.

Yeah.

So Hell is Us had a demo a little bit ago and

the demo was

It was mid.

So it had like a lot of delay on it.

So it's a Souls game-ish like it controls like a Souls game.

But this is the it was this is the one that it's a souls game, but the trailer looked like a strand game at home.

Yes.

Yeah.

So let's just go for structure wise in terms of your buttons

It's more or less a souls game.

You equip things more or less like a souls game that kind of thing and

its

weird hook is that you're infiltrating a isolated country that's in the middle of a civil war.

Okay.

And the demo did not leave me with a favorable impression because there was just a weird amount of delay on all of your attacks.

Like it had

80 milliseconds of input delay on your strikes.

And it felt quite bad.

That is no longer the case for the full release uh it actually it it feels nice and snappy it controls well so i got way farther into it um

it is absolutely dedicated to a feeling of being lost and feeling weird and being strange and unknowable um it's a relatively uncommon

setting.

It takes place in like a fictional Eastern European country in like 1993, 1994,

in the middle of a civil war.

And

so it's like, it's not modern, but it's like it's the 90s.

Okay.

And there's like modern military around, but you are still fighting weirdo alien monster freaks with a magic sword.

And the long and short of it is that it has like an aggressive lack of any quest system or map system.

And it just literally says, hey, figure it out, find it, do whatever.

Like, you get a quest, somebody talks to you, remember where they are because the game's never going to tell you ever again.

And you wander around, and

you start to explore and talk to a lot of NPCs actually in this war-torn Civil War country, and it is

the darkest subject matter I have ever encountered in a video game, bar none.

Because

the

blueprint for the game's setting is Yugoslavia/slash Bosnia

and the civil war is actually a pretext to ethnic cleansing.

Okay.

And

every single NPC you encounter is a victim of it in one direction or another.

And we'll tell you just how bad it's gotten.

And it is the worst.

Okay.

It is the

worst

content I have encountered.

And very little of it is like shown to you directly.

Most of it is discovered after the fact

or

told to you by things.

It is an ethnic conflict between two groups called Sabinians and the Palomists.

And they are just doing everything you could ever imagine two groups that can't get along would do to each other.

Yep.

So, and um, the backdrop is genocide, even what it's not at all times as a concept.

Yep, yep.

And uh, the game is called Hell Is Us, and it is absolutely nailing the thematics of that because me talking to NPCs in town was like harrowing and stressful.

And then, when I left town to fight actual, honest-to-god, hell beasts, I became relaxed and chill.

Jeez.

Like talking to the NPCs is given like harrowing mood music

and feels like a nightmare.

And going out to kill monsters is like

musicless and just like chill video games.

More demons, please.

More hell demons, please.

Yeah.

Okay.

Right.

It is fascinating

how stressful it is to to talk to people on that game.

Have you played Necromunda or Mordheim?

I played Necromunda.

I have not played Mordheim.

Okay.

Is Mordheim the game you are thinking of?

It's the games that

Rogue Factor made.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

I played Necromunda.

I did not play Mordheim.

Okay.

This is a massive step up over Necromunda.

Yeah, I was going to say, as well.

It's extreme for Necromunda.

I was going to say, yeah, this looks and sounds nothing like

previous efforts.

It was like,

for an example, I had somebody come into the chat going, hey man, this game looks good, but I have like some issues with like

PDSD revolving around like ethnic cleansing and genocide.

Should I go or should I leave?

And then I turned a corner to find a mass grave with an excavator broken down next to it.

And they were like, okay, I'm out of here.

Bye.

And like, they made the right decision.

Like, it is unrepentantly miserable and heavy and upsetting.

And that's a decision that was made.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

As for the game part,

it's really interesting.

There's a lot of wandering.

Like the, it's like, you know, like a souls type area, but it's actually a really large, wide open space.

It's not Elden Ring.

In a good way?

Yes, no, in a good way.

Okay, okay.

Like you're going through a lot of farmers' fields or marshes or woods and

sewers and whatnot.

Because, again, when you're Mortal Shell, you know,

there's the battle.

No,

it's a lot, it's a lot better put together than Mortal Shell.

Okay.

It's, it's really interesting because it feels like a really, really, really grounded,

like, horrible place.

But and then monsters attack you.

Right?

Like, and then you discover that they have like a, like, you know, it looks like, you know, an Eastern European country in the 90s, but then over that corner is the 2,000-foot tower monument to evil.

Just happens to be over there.

You know, like,

it's very strange.

Really cool.

Very strange.

Extremely heavy and upsetting.

Yeah, I feel like when we saw the initial trailer, it was, yeah, again, that the strandiness of it was.

None of this played at all

when we saw that trailer.

No, and I and I couldn't tell if it was walking around and then horror happened or like you action for the most part in a horrory setting or so.

But

yeah, you're doing sword play and spin attacks and stingers.

Absolutely.

Yeah, so yeah, okay.

It's a very strange game.

It's an incredibly strange game.

I think it's really, really, really cool.

It is not the best put together game.

Like,

the combat isn't as good as a Dark Souls or a Litas of P.

It's just not.

The themes make up for it.

It's still pretty good.

Okay.

Right?

And

it's absolutely, totally unique setting really does a lot to carry it.

Super cool game.

Don't know if I'm going to go back to it.

It's like legitimately like a massive downer.

Like,

you're playing it and you're like, these guys set out to say something and they're saying it really effectively and it's affecting me and I kind of want it to stop.

If that makes any sense.

Yeah.

No, no.

So like chat showing up and going, ooh, I don't know if I should be here.

Yeah.

That's fair enough.

I had like maybe four or five people people say, Should we put like a content warning on this?

And I'm like, well, the Twitch automatically put in the mature content warning on it, right?

And they're like, yeah, but

there's mature and then there's this.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, I'm reminded of like talking to Courtner and Disco, where game

narrators like, do you want to continue?

Are you sure?

Entire settlement of that guy to talk to.

Yeah.

yeah, yeah, okay.

Sucks.

Yeah, cool.

But, uh, but cool.

It's, it's a, it's a, it's a weird fucking game.

I also did a stream where I rated my audience's pets.

They're very cute.

They are all very good, cute animals.

You did a pet rating stream?

I did a pet rating stream.

Paige was like, you should do a pet rating stream.

And I'm like, okay.

And what was your metrics?

They're really cute and nice.

Yeah, okay, okay.

Did you?

I stopped writing them immediately and just started going, oh, fuck, you don't.

Well, I was about to say, right, did you do the thing almost like the rate my pet or rate the dog accounts, where it's like, what the fuck are you going to do?

Actually, put a number on that, you monster?

Absolutely not.

You psychopaths.

You psychopet.

I have the best pet.

I have both best pets.

The caboose is right here, and he's dumb and ugly.

I love you.

And Elmo's old.

He's so old.

What else did I do?

Let's see.

I played the new shinobi game, Art of Vengeance.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That game's great.

That game is like

a big budget, wildly expanded version of something like Ninja Gaiden Rage Bound.

It's really weird how it's like the exact same game, but bigger and cooler and twice the price, to be fair yeah it's like a fifty dollar game um but but that's that's um that's um whatchamacallit right uh lizard cube uh

yes of um streets of rage for people

right

um yeah no the the both both the timing is wild on both of those things coming together so so um

so close together but both look awesome man uh they're both great i've played them both now um

uh

shinobi

its art is like lavish.

It is in love with its own art, and it really deserves it.

It's also a really strange setup.

It's like 10 little mini Metroids.

Like, it is a stage-based game, but all the stages are mini-metroids.

Where you can come back later with upgrades to get a bunch of new stuff.

Okay.

I don't have much to say about it other than it's like it plays super good.

It feels super good.

It sounds super good.

It looks really good.

It's awesome.

Yeah, I think just based on that layout difference,

Ninja Gaiden is a little more

jump in and out, which works for me right now, where I'm like, I'll do a stage and stop.

You know, I got 20 minutes.

Let me just complete this one channel challenge or like this one boss and call it.

But this is all like open world Metroidvania and yeah, you know what?

Somebody in the chat says it's kind of like Order of Ecclesia.

If you played that Castlevania game,

it's kind of like that.

Okay.

Order of Ecclesia is pretty good.

What else?

I think I did something else.

Oh, that's right.

I'm doing a sub-athon for September.

September?

And

Subtember.

Yes.

Are you familiar with September?

Yes, in that I've heard the word and I've heard people say it and I've heard the word suba-thon before,

but I don't actually know what that entails.

Okay, so in order, Subtember is Twitch offers like basically 30% off subscriptions to Twitch channels.

Okay.

Which makes it a really good time to go, hey, everybody.

Come subscribe to me.

You should subscribe to my channel right now.

Right.

What this also means is that if I want everyone to subscribe to my channel right now,

I should create a bunch of goals for them to shoot for,

which so far we've hit for,

including new emotes.

We have one where people are sending page blue sky tweets to post under my account when I'm here or on stream,

out of my control or knowledge.

Which so far the ones she has picked are wildly confusing and look real,

which is really upsetting.

Later on, we're going to be changing my username to whatever chat votes for.

There's a Bioshock Infinite and Lisa the Painful LP on there at certain guidelines.

There's also, at certain higher guidelines, I'm going to dye my hair and give myself mutton chops and wear clown face.

The fuck you are.

Bull shit.

If it hits those numbers, I will do it.

What am I going to not do it?

Yes.

What am I going to not do it?

Correct.

Unless it's like a,

the mutton chops are incidental on your way to doing a clean shave anyway.

Oh, no.

So the mutton chops is not that far away.

It's like less than half up the list.

And there's a 30-day timer on that.

I have to maintain that shit.

Okay.

And then if the number goes high enough

after all of the horrible appearance altering goals are done with, I will then cue ball my shit off and go pencil mustache like Vincent Price Egghead from the Batman show.

Oof.

I will destroy my appearance and humiliate myself in my daily life for money.

Yeah.

So if you want to see that, go down to

twitch.tv slash pat stares at and kick in a couple of subs.

I'd love to see how the kid reacts to that one.

But

he loves it.

At this point.

Okay, so it's September is when you throw stretch goals on the on the on the Twitch channel for for the month.

Are you like pretending to not know this?

No, I'm just more concerned.

The Twitch.

You are a Twitch streamer.

I Twitch stream to record the LPs for YouTube.

But you like exist in the same world that we both live in.

That's correct.

I hit the live button and I sit down and I record my YouTube Let's Plays.

That's correct.

Yes.

Anyway, one of the goals on here is I'm going to death stream Banjo-Kazooie and I'm not going to be a big baby about it.

That's probably the hardest goal of all.

Yeah.

So I'm not going to be a big baby about it.

I'm not going to be a big baby about it.

Okay.

Sorry.

I'm going to try

and not be a big baby about it.

You did enjoy

A Hat in Time.

I very, very much enjoyed A Hat in Time because it didn't have some stupid fucking bear in it.

Look at me.

I'm fucking stupid.

It's just

the bear.

That's it.

It's just the bear.

It's just the bear.

And all the googly eyes and shit.

The rare.

The rarer.

I can be as big of a baby as I can right now because the goal hasn't been hit okay

I mean it's it's fun platforming but you know like yeah

also there's a bunch of fun stuff like Paige is gonna make up me up like a pretty lady I'm gonna cook chat a meal and I will eat it and I will not die etc

Wow okay it's elaborate my My personal favorite I'll send you the list here I'll send you the list of what we got here my personal favorite, and one I hope that we reach,

is that I will guide Paige through RE2 Classic while being blindfolded and my wife on the controls.

Which I expect will either be much easier than I think it'll be or much harder than I think it'll be.

You blindfolded, telling her what to do.

I will have to be mentally guiding her

from memory.

With audio cues, that sounds very doable.

I think.

How much footage have you seen of Paige using tank controls?

Well, it's more about your perfect memory of RE2 that I'm.

Oh, that's rock solid.

There's no worries there.

It's less about that.

Yeah, okay.

Interesting.

All right.

Anyway, if you want to see bad things happen to me or good things happen on my channel, go down to twitch.tv/slash patstaresat and kick in a couple of subs.

That's running all the way until October 1st.

Dye your hair a color of chat's choosing.

Damn.

That's for 30 days or until it fades.

That's crazy.

Yeah, I didn't want to put that on there, but Paige was like, quit being a pussy and put hair dye on there.

I'm like, I don't want to dye my hair.

And she's like, do it.

People will do it.

I'm like, okay.

Yeah, I mean, I've gone through the full rainbow at this point, you know.

Well, yeah, because you have a common hair color.

You weren't blessed with a cool hair color by default.

Ah,

I see.

That has no downsides whatsoever.

Oh, it has tons of downsides.

Oh, my mistake.

Tons of them.

Oh, my mistake then.

Whoopsie.

Genetic predisposition and ignoring painkillers sucks, dude.

It sucks.

It's the worst.

Blessed, though.

Blessed, we are.

Yep.

Yep.

Okay.

Okay.

That's the worst.

Anyway, yeah, so that's going on.

That's pretty much it for me.

I think so.

Oh, wait, no.

My adorable perfect son.

has now he is now singing songs back to us from memory

He's saying, but, but, he's in the toddler phase of 10-word sentences, but they're just off enough that mom and dad have to sit there and work it out.

What is he saying?

What, what is that?

It's golden sun.

It's golden sun because at the end, he goes, shine on me.

And I'm like, yeah.

And then he realizes that we know what he's saying and he starts to get super pumped.

That's pretty sick.

It's awesome, dude.

That's pretty sick.

It's great.

I can't wait for that.

I just realized, I just had

a weird flash in that, you know, how you're like,

like, yeah, no, my kid, though, is the best.

And I'm like, yeah.

And I'm like, my kid's the best, right?

Yeah.

Like, and everyone's doing that.

Drake is the person that hears you say that and gets mad at you for saying how much you like your kid and how much your kid's the best.

Because what the fuck are you saying about me and mine, then?

Right?

That same, like, just the level of it's in the same way that people kind of hype themselves up in the game.

Do you understand what I mean?

With, like, with, like, I thought you were going to go to a totally different direction.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I thought you were going to go, I say I like my kid the best.

And then Drake goes, I also like your kid.

That's not.

Yeah, okay, all right.

Well,

and we're out, leave that alone.

That's not where I was going, but uh, yeah.

All right.

Um, bathroom break then.

Yeah, let's do it.

There we are.

Also,

if you go down to my channel this week over twitch.tv slash past stairs at, tomorrow, that'd be Wednesday, the 3rd of September, I'm going to be doing a sponsored game of a game called Hiro Gami, which is the only game to come out and go, we are not moving our release date away from Silk Song.

I see.

So it's on my back.

It's on me.

Okay.

And then the next day I'm playing Silk Song until I throw up or fall asleep.

And then it's Silk Song the rest of the week.

And on Sunday,

you look confused.

Isn't there a state of play?

I don't give a shit.

Hey!

All right.

Love to hear it.

I got too much going on, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Too much other work to do.

Good stuff.

And then on Sunday, I will be adhering to one of my sub-a-thon goals where I will be making a tier list of every CSB podcast title to date.

Oh.

Oh.

I look forward to it.

Thank you to not Woolley, but chat member Wool for putting together the existing tier list already for me to use on Sunday's stream.

I look forward to the results.

That's I skimmed it and couldn't remember 95% of those titles.

Oh, yeah, no.

They had left my mind.

Yeah.

No,

this is the legacy.

I feel like truly, when I have shuffled off this Mortal Coil, my life's work will have been from Friendcast all the way through,

just a legacy of heinous titles.

It'll be really funny to see if I can remember

what the actual title came from.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I bet the answer is like I won't be able to at all for almost any of them.

I did not get a Marvel token beta invite.

Neither did I.

So

if you've got a free one,

I won't suck your dick, but I'll say thank you.

That's not a sub-a-thon goal?

Oh, I actually said if somebody wants to kick in like 10K subs, yeah, I'll fly to your house and suck your dick.

Okay, well, you know, then I got a family to take care of.

I'll suck any dick you got

for money.

For money.

Monetary value, yeah, no.

Not for fun.

Yeah.

For sure.

I'm not a fool.

No.

Sex work positive.

The token thing, though, is there was a video that figured out from all the different footage exactly how the combo system works.

So it's no longer like this abstract mystery.

It's actually very unique.

I haven't seen anything like it.

It's closest to 2KI, but overall, the system is you get to do 10 moves in a combo before someone drops out.

Oh, that's very interesting.

Before someone drops out.

Oh my god, 10 moves?

That's one more move than 2xKO has characters.

Well, hey now, we got Blitzcrank here.

But

you can do up to 10 moves, and then certain things either cost zero moves

or reduce from that counter.

So every time you use an EX move, it costs zero.

And every time you do a tag or assist move, it subtracts.

You know?

And if you do an auto combo, the last hits of the auto combo take up like five moves.

That's fair.

That's fair.

Yeah.

That's fair.

So that's how the system works.

Again, really nothing like it I've seen, but you just, there's a counter and you have to subtract or add by using the system mechanics.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

So, yeah, and it doesn't have

people flipping out faster or any of those like proration aspects or anything like that, which actually is pretty, that is a much simpler way to go because, like, in games like trying to figure out how combos work in, like, a persona game, for example, or like in Skull Girls, it's, or, you know, there's games where like there's a, there's an invisible number that increases every time you touch the character, and then they flip out faster and faster at different rates that are just like this crazy blackboard equation of what a combo is and isn't, you know?

So we'll see how it works in this context.

But yeah, we'll see how

that beta goes.

Yeah, I have a start time for Silk Song on Thursday.

It's noon, and I don't have an end time.

I'm going to Silk Song all over that shit.

Skong it up.

Skong it out.

All right, let's take some sponsor words.

I love sponsor words.

Did you know they're some of my favorite words?

This week, the podcast is sponsored by Shopify, and if you have a business idea, you need to get the fuck on,

use it.

You need to do it now.

You want to figure out how to sell a thing online and you need help.

You want to integrate your shop into your social media and track where people are buying things from and all of that, then you got to get on Shopify.

It's the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world.

And Mattel, Gymshark are some names that are using it.

If you have your millionth sale going off, or it's your first one, Shopify is awesome.

For that, you want to get in there.

They've got hundreds of ready-to-use templates so you can build an online store that matches your brand style.

You've got a design studio.

You've got

basically like a marketing team behind you to create email social media campaigns wherever people are scrolling and strolling and looking around.

World-class support and international shipping, processing returns,

all kinds of metrics and data to see where and how your store is expanding.

I always talk about the shop app, which I really like using, keeps track of stuff.

I can look right now and see a couple shipments going in.

Particularly useful.

Yeah, when you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify.

When we had to figure out how to get a t-shirt, sold, that was the easiest way to do it, to integrate into everything and

get your business ideas off the ground.

Don't let your memes be dreams.

Turn your big business idea into money with Shopify on your side.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial.

Start selling today at shopify.com slash Superbeast.

Go to Shopify.com slash Superbeast.

Shopify.com slash Super Beast.

Thank you very much.

Do it.

Support the show.

I love you, Shopify.

I love it.

I love it.

You're anthropomorphized.

The next best thing you can do is make out with that URL instead.

That's tough, man.

Do I have to print it out?

I'm not stopping you.

I don't have a printer.

People don't anymore, actually.

I don't.

I just go to the print shop if I need to print out the one piece of paper I need a year.

Yeah, it's become exactly really archaic and weird.

I have a I got one of those ones that's like it's pretty cool, actually.

It's a printer with no ink.

It just uses a special paper.

You buy the paper, and then the ink is forever.

And it hooks up to a thing on my phone, so I can just be like, yeah, just print a document from an email, go, you know.

This week, the podcast is sponsored by Chubbies.

Hey,

there we go.

Love that.

That's a descriptive ass name.

That's perfect.

My wife and baby made banana bread yesterday, so I'm well on my way because that stuff's delicious.

Chubbies is comfy, casual shirts, stretch shorts, built for life.

Um, really, really comfortable.

I'm currently wearing a chubby shirt.

This little bro, I'm like, this is such a you need to, I need to pay attention to the URL.

The pajama pants I usually wear fully disintegrated.

Oh,

right off my body, rotted off the body.

I'm wearing jorts today, dude.

Oh, man.

No, you need to stop with.

I don't like the jorts.

Yeah, no, if you've got your clothes disintegrating from crotch rot,

then it's it's time to fix that.

Chubbies.

Chubbies is pretty sick.

And

they've got performance polos.

That's currently what I'm wearing.

This material is super thin, super comfy.

I legit, it's one of my favorite new things to wear.

My other chubby shirt as well with the

purple,

kind of pink and green swirl.

coffee cup colors

is dope.

And I feel like, you know, popping that on, comfortable.

Got some compliments about it, and I'm like, yeah, that's cool.

I appreciate that.

I'm going to rock this a little more often now.

And I appreciate as well the fact that the sizing on it is accurate.

A couple times I've bought a shirt that said it was my size, and then you get it, and you're like, this is a lie.

Why did you lie to me?

Why did you just embarrass me?

And I sit here looking at the mirror going, God damn it.

You know,

what am I saying?

I bought a shirt once and it said XL on it.

And I went to put it on, and then it just told me I was like a fat little baby.

Yeah, no, and I was like, well, you lied to me about being XL, sir.

Exactly.

No, the creases, the new, the new shapes, and the new

lines that didn't exist before are.

Listen, I didn't have an A-cup before I put on this shirt.

Yeah, you're hearing the fabric stretch, and it's like, stop it.

No, get in there with

a comfortable Chubby's Fall Collection that's dropping September 9th, packed with with cozy gear that brings

metaphorical and real heat.

Launching the comfort collection, everywhere joggers, perfect pants for impromptu naps, weekend errands, and everything in between.

Yeah, they're really comfy.

They're really, it's a nice, smooth, easy, stretchy fit, and feels good.

So

whether you're layering up for tailgates, lounging through lazy Sundays, or just leaning fully into fall comfort, Chubbies has you covered.

For a limited time, Chubbies has given our listeners $10

off your order with the code superbeast at chubbieshorts.com.

That's code superbeast at chubbieshorts.com.

Support the show and show your thighs some respect with Chubbies.

There you go.

Your thighs, Chubbies.

Absolutely.

Really cozy.

Really, really comfy.

Appreciate it.

Support the goddamn show.

Go to Chubby's Shorts and use the code.

And

last but not least,

boot.dev

is the smartest way to master programming while tackling the hardest part of online learning.

Boredom.

It sucks to get bored when trying to learn how to do things.

And when you're a student,

it literally is a disqualifying factor.

I have quit.

How am I supposed to put one game in another game

if I get bored learning?

I have tried and failed to learn how to code, to learn programming, because of boredom and retention of the difficult material.

So boot.dev is a really awesome hands-on way to learn the curriculum by gamifying the process.

You get to.

Have you tried to gamify it for yourself and you end up just showing off to yourself what a horrible lack of willpower you have?

I mean, that is possible.

At one point, I was like, okay, for every paragraph I read, I'm going to eat a chip.

And then I just eat the whole bag of chips, and I'm just sitting there with no knowledge and chip dust all over myself.

I mean, honestly, it's more like around the 10th time I'm rereading the same page of the giant thick manual book, and I'm looking at my computer and back, and I'm just like, again,

again, again.

And I'm like, this is not working.

This is not working.

It sucks.

Hate that.

Hate that.

Extremely ineffective.

So, no, boot.dev gamifies the process so that it's like you're playing an RPG as you learn.

So you get to go through different challenges, and each one is kind of like, you know, beating a boss or fighting through a level.

You solve the coding challenges by

putting in your solutions, earning XP, unlocking treasure,

and you even are competing on a leaderboard as well

with your items and your XP and everything else that's going on, too.

There's even like raid bosses with stories that advance each section as you fight collectively.

So it's no, it's an awesome way to go.

If you're trying to learn Python, go JavaScript, you know, TypeScript, a whole lot of options for you.

And

learning how to code is not only a really cool way to

get yourself a job that, according to Stack Overflow, has a median salary for back-end developers in 2024 in the US of over $100,000.

Besides that, you also have the ability to make your own games and program your own ideas and actually get them

from concept to reality and get past the hardest part, which is just the learning.

And if you're a student,

everything

on boot.dev, all the content, it has free-to-read guest mode.

So you can check out and

preview preview everything that is part of the curriculum before you pay which is a really awesome thing you can do.

Paid membership unlocks interactive features like hands-on coding, progress tracking, and game mechanics.

There is also a

Discord full of real humans to help you if you ever get stuck anywhere.

So yeah, jump on it and learn.

in a fun way that you can actually retain what you're learning with boot.dev.

As you unlock pages and go through your lessons,

you'll level up your spell book and you'll have a cheat sheet that you can use and reference and review at any time.

So go check them out.

Go to boot.dev and try out the courses for free and then use our code CastleSuper Beast to get 25% off your entire first year if you choose the annual plan.

One more time, that's boot.dev and you use the code CastleSuper Beast to get 25% off your entire first year if you choose the annual plan.

Learn to code in the fun way, y'all.

Thank you, Boot.dev.

Thanks, boot.dev.

All right, what's going on?

Uh.

Nothing.

Okay, so there's a fun article that popped up this morning.

Yeah.

About Final Fantasy tactics.

Let's hear it.

I like that game a lot.

At a panel at PAX West 2025,

director Kazatoyo Maero explained that the reason why Square Enix no longer had the original source code for Final Fantasy Tactics boiled down to how the original source code was overwritten when the game was brought to audiences outside Japan.

We'd basically take the data from the Japanese version and overwrite the English data on it.

And we wanted to do another language.

We would keep just stacking on top and overwriting and overwriting.

Maedo began.

So we kind of went on a journey to find the original version, and we were using whatever resources we had available to us.

And all those different versions would be analyzing what was there to try and find what we felt was the original.

On top of that, we actually had to go to different websites made by fans to look up the data there because we know you guys could do such a good job of keeping that all up to date.

The Final Fantasy Tactics fucking

remaster

needed to use ROMs

and emulation

preserving the original game because Square themselves did not have the source code anymore.

Why did they save over it?

That's such a strange way to do that.

Because Japan at that time especially had such a little,

they thought so little of preserving code for the future and they never thought anyone would want or give a fuck about it going forward.

So they just would use it over and over for new games or for the same game every time and had no thoughts towards preserving what they were working on.

It just wasn't important.

Way crazier than we destroyed it so Sega couldn't get a hold of it or whatever.

Yeah.

No, they just gave them, they gave no shits about it.

It was a low-priority thing, and the thought that you would ever need it again in the future was just like, meh.

That actually explains a lot about the various issues Final Fantasy Tactics releases have had over the years and why new problems kept showing up.

And it's because they just kept stapling new shit onto the old thing.

That was already stapled on.

Yeah, I mean, you know, why buy a new, why buy new storage when you have the existing storage and the game is already shipped, so who cares?

On to the next, right?

Um,

fan preservation

ROMs and emulators emulators actually

are massively important.

You bet there's a dinosaur that's actually really angry about these quotes.

Oh, the Stegosaurus is losing its mind right now.

It's thrashing its tail around the office as we speak.

But regardless, the official product had to turn towards fans preserving the original copy of the game in order to help the remake of it currently coming out.

I gotta tell you, Yoshi.

A necessity.

Yoshi P and his boys and girls are like

super on the level.

Everybody over Creative Business Unit 3, like every interview they give is just like a normal person talking to you instead of like a Japanese businessman.

It's really refreshing.

I just like...

Like the wild part is this is the type of antics I expect to hear from the Super Nintendo era.

You know?

Not the PlayStation era.

By the time you hit fucking discs on PlayStation, guys, what are we doing?

That's crazy, man.

Whatever we feel like, bruh.

You're hitting late 90s to 2000s and you're still just like, fuck whatever we just made.

We're already on to the next.

Who cares?

No one will ever give a fuck about this.

And I mean, like, when you think about how many games were being put out by, like, all the big companies at the time, like, yeah, Square and Capcom and Sega, all these Japanese companies were making a bajillion games per year at that time, right?

It was a boom.

Square was putting out a crazy amount of shit a year.

Yeah.

But just the thought, you know, that like

we do not give the slightest shit about ever preserving this in the future.

What about like even printing second-run copies?

That like it's crazy.

It makes it's so nuts.

It makes no sense, you know?

Um, anyway, and so yeah, uh, um, you just get this thing now where you're like, so de facto, de facto, you must rely on fans preserving the games and fans preserving shit.

There's no way around this.

And, and furthermore, like, you know, remakes and

remasters and all these things might not actually happen in the future if

fans don't step in and do this, you know?

Or worse, they will do it, but they'll rely on

either AI or something, or they'll just, or they'll not, you know, maybe the, like, whatever the case of the budgetary constraints would be for something, like the ability, the fact that it'd be like, no, start from scratch, do it all over again, or you end up with mobile chrono trigger or something like that, you know?

Yeah, dude, the PC and mobile versions of chrono trigger took like years to get up to snuff.

Like, it was just ridiculous.

And the fact that the company can't tell that there's a difference in what's being output between those shitty.

Well, yeah, because no one who worked on it before is on the project now.

So, yeah.

If there's any question about, you know, fucking archiving and preservation for games in the future, like, this is a definitive one here.

So, um, I'm pretty sure we didn't cover it, but did we talk about something called Mare last week?

No.

Okay, so

this relates to Yoshi P and his team and them sounding like normal human beings.

There has been an FF14 drama that has occurred that has expanded and expanded and expanded to the point where Yoshi P had to come out and make a massive

blog post about it.

I think it's like the longest blog post he's ever done while working on the game.

So the long and short of it is that despite it is against the rules to modify Final Fantasy XIV, this is explicitly against the TOS.

You are not to modify FF-14.

It is against the rules.

Bad.

Don't do it.

I would never do it, and none of your friends would ever do it either.

However, people do it.

It is a thing that people do.

Yes.

People will do things such as put a pixel underneath their character to simulate their hitbox.

or

add chat bubbles so when people talk out in the open world they do chat bubbles or they'll put cooldown timers with numbers instead of just the visual, right?

And usually these are things that everybody just shuts the fuck up about and ignores.

And the devs look at it maybe and then they don't see nobody saying fucking nothing.

And so they go, okay, everybody's shutting the fuck up.

And they go, hey, maybe we should put chat bubbles into the game.

And these are a couple patches go by.

Local on your machine modifications.

Yeah, local on your machine.

Very important.

Yeah.

And they go, hey, you know what?

That's actually a decent idea.

Let's implement chat bubbles later.

And when they ask, hey, where'd you get the idea?

They go, player feedback.

And they look at you like this.

Right?

Yeah, okay.

Right?

And this has been kind of the

way it goes

nature of the way modifying works is like, hey,

shut your fucking mouth.

Like, like, there's something called parsing.

And what parsing is, is something you're not supposed to do and is against the rule, so don't do it.

But what parsing is, is it a meter that allows you to see who in your party is doing how much damage to the ball?

Oh, I remember this conversation.

And then you can grief people because you can tell that they're not doing the rotation efficiently.

The rule of the land is like, hey, if you're using this for personal use and nobody knows about it, how would you ever get caught?

Like,

that's the actual official stance.

But if you're going into group content and shitting on people for information you're not actually supposed to have,

fuck off and die.

Well, here comes Mare.

And Mare is a super mod.

And what Mare allows you to do, it says, hey, Woolly, you, breaking the rules, have decided to modify your

bunny girl to have way bigger tits than normal.

Way bigger.

Titties.

Wow, bazongas.

Beefy Vieras.

Let's go.

Now, luckily, you have Mare installed, and I have Mare installed, so my mod will contact your mod and go, hey, Wooly's got the Big Bazongas mod on.

You should download Mare so that you can see Woolly's Big Bazongas.

Yes, okay, right, right, right, yes.

Right?

And this will work with hats, or cosmetics, or gigantic balls,

fucking dick, dick shit.

No, the player I know in particular that is in there has as their Viera with tons of pubic hair, actually.

Yeah, you don't know that.

That's not real.

Okay.

You would never know a person who would do that because that would be a rule breaker.

And you don't want them to get banned.

But what has happened is this

functionality has become part of that group of people on FF14

and have started to post about it and put it in their player bio and mandate it for groups groups and put billboards on real light soil about their cyber orgies

okay and the creator of the mod accidentally left some of their personally identifying information in one of their updates at which point square inix

said hey turn that shit off take it down okay at which point they said oops i got caught i'm taking it down which resulted in review bombing, people crying about it, etc.

And Yoshi P comes out and goes, listen, and made this exhaustive, detailed breakdown that is in paraphrase:

everything

is fine

if everyone shuts the fuck up

because I have to pretend I don't know what I'm talking about to my boss.

Right.

But also,

my boss, the Stegosaurus.

Yes.

But also,

with all this Visa MasterCard shit going on,

when you guys are using modded versions of the game and hashtags for the game and posting your fucking big titty fucking or GFF14 content all over social media,

it could impact our ability to run the fucking game.

Oh my gosh.

So we can all just shut the fuck up.

Just be chill be cool man

okay okay it's the anti-yoko taro where yoko taro's like i need you to send it to me send me all of it

yoshi's like i do not see it

don't tell me

thousands of words to just say if we could all be cool and shut up about it yeah yeah we would be fine he will only look you in the eyes he will not look down at all because he doesn't see it and i bring this up to you because everyone obviously goes to your video of like hey how about we all just shut the up

yes even the developer of the game is like can you all just shut the fuck up about it the answer is always no because it only takes a few that don't understand because it's the problem the problem is that the shut the fuck up idea especially in a community context requires like

a social understanding and there's always going to be those that just can't don't understand why what they're doing is fucking it up for everybody.

We got rants about how it's my game and I can do what I want.

And it's like, okay, one,

it's not.

It's actually an active game that is shared with other people, but also you're actually logging in via permission of the right.

Like, reading the room.

Never before has there been a game that is less, oh, it's mine.

I can do whatever I want with it.

But also, they're saying you can do whatever you want with it on your local machine.

Just don't fuck it up for everybody.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Reading the room is

a very hard thing for some folks, man.

God damn it.

That's a bummer.

Okay.

Now, the thing is, too, is like, I am, even the part where you're talking about invisibly knowing somebody is not doing their rotation efficiently, you know, that when the time comes to, like, make decisions about that player and to whether to play with them or not, or whatever, that's going to affect it, right?

Okay, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna surface a

fictional scenario to you

born from my imagination.

Yes,

assume you're running an eight-man, and you're like, Man, the damage just isn't there.

So you pull out your robot, and it will tell you where the damage is and is not coming from.

And you correctly discover, oh, the summoner, let's just say, wow, they're really not pulling their weight.

You could then

turn the shit off,

run

a

encounter, and physically use your eyes to see that they are not doing everything they could do.

Because every action in that game is visible to other players.

And you would be able to tell,

I can literally see you not popping your cooldowns with your eyes.

i'm very observant

okay you can also tell by the aggro list okay you can be like why is the dps doing less damage the more the healers well so but this is the question is then is everyone going to kind of silently then just be like okay thank you very much we'll play with someone else next time no no you're gonna have drama okay but that's that's just the nature of that's just the nature of the beast okay

um

i mean surely if you're not getting healed fast enough, then you're like, hey, you should be healing faster.

You can feel that.

Yeah,

that's the one that is really obvious where it's like, hey, here comes the big AoE, and we all died despite being at full health.

Did no one put shields out?

It really looks like there was no healing shields that went out.

Can we do that again?

Hey, there's no shield.

Oh, we'll just die because there's no shields here.

Can you put some shields out?

Can you please put a shield out?

But there is a fine line to tightrope walk, of course, which is to not grief people over data that you're not supposed to see.

Yeah, so what happens is, is the ideal use is for your own personal improvement.

That's the ideal use of that kind of system.

Okay.

The realistic use is going, I ran a dungeon with this dumbass fucking mouth breather.

Here's their name.

I'm going to go to Tales of Duty Finder Reddit and just shit all over them.

Oh my God, how do they even let people like this play the fucking game?

It's fucking embarrassing.

Oh my god, they don't even know the rotation.

And that's the actual use case they're trying to avoid, which is constant.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, that tales from Duty Finder is not supposed to be about complaining about the tank not doing enough damage or the healer not healing.

Tales from Duty Finder is supposed to be about the time I ran Zelphatol and the Dragoon kept dying to the wind mechanic on the second boss and it was like, bro, you you need to stand in front of the barrier.

And he said, You are easily the gayest tank I have ever seen.

And I went, What?

And then he didn't move for the entire rest of the dungeon, and then we finished it without him and then kicked him before the boss so he couldn't get credit.

That's what Tales from Duty Finder is supposed to be about.

What the fuck is happening?

Okay.

Okay, all right.

Is it possible that some people's inefficient rotation is because the giant titties on their character are blocking the icons for their spellcasting?

Wooly.

Is it possible that the visible attack cones are being blocked by the giant titties?

Here's the thing for real, okay?

And Magnum Dawson.

I don't believe in big titty goon modding your character because it's against the rules, but also it's not my thing.

I see people post like screenshots of their like

freak beasts.

I would say like, because it's always like, it's always like way beyond.

Oh, yeah, you can't, no, you can't stop anywhere saying.

And I'm just, and my thought just like, you play the game like this, dude.

Like, you, you, like,

you, like,

you fought in Singer with this shit on?

Like, are you serious?

Yeah, I mean,

you don't pay my sub.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah, totally.

That's, that's.

That's so fucking weird to me.

It's essential.

It's important, you know.

It's, yeah, somebody in the chat points out it's like running your regular Master Rank matches as your like Street Fighter VI creative character.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Now, are all the cutscenes and story mode taking place in engine?

Absolutely.

Oh.

Oh, well, then now we've got extra.

Absolutely.

Well, now we've got extra incentive.

All right.

Yeah.

No, that's what's going on over at Yoshi P's house.

That sucks.

That sucks that that's what has to happen.

People to please be normal.

Just be chill.

Yeah, and they won't, but you know, there you go.

Also, this is of note.

Somebody pointed out, it's a very clean distinction.

They also went out to say that Mare would have been banned as soon as they could have gotten a hold of it, no matter what, because Mare does something that is against the rules, even more than everything else, which is it allows you to change other people's players

and then photograph them and weird on them.

Like, there's like, there's like band, which is don't fuck with your characters and make them freaks.

And then there's a, hey, don't fuck with other people's characters and make them freaks and bring them into your nonsense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right.

That's extra against the rules.

This wasn't the same thing that could also like track your name changes across servers and shit.

Yeah, okay, that was a different thing.

Yeah.

Okay.

That sucks, but I'm also just thinking, too, about like the fact that the MasterCard and Visa element brings a whole other side to this that wasn't there before.

They're like, can you really stop this right now, please?

Really shitty timing.

Absolutely.

And I know with like WoW and stuff,

like every MMO, there's always going to be mods.

It's always going to be the case.

It's never going to not be a thing.

But whether you embrace it or not,

it's a lot cleaner for your company if you just leave it over there and just be like, we won't fuck with it, but myrrh.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Um, so anyway, yeah, that's that's that that's how tactics got remade.

Uh,

I guess

Blitzcrank trailer.

Hell yeah, he looks great.

I saw at least three command grabs, one of which was a running bear grab and a get over here claw, which even if you're blocking, pulls you into him.

Full screen get over here.

That is

very,

very

true to Blitz Crank's kit.

Okay.

I saw the get over here and on a blocked character.

I saw it lead into a grab.

I saw it lead into a launcher.

I saw the wrecking ball thing, which is pretty cool.

A good old attack that stays on screen for a long time that goes back and forth like that is like great for like, yeah, covering an assist or whatever.

Blitz looks really good.

This is not just a character that looks really cool.

He's also a really good translation from League.

He is the only character on the roster from League's original 40.

He's the oldest of all the characters on the roster.

British robot.

I went back and I heard the original voice, which is just robot.

That is just robot.

They made this one British.

Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah.

He looks great.

He's a proper big body grappler.

He's great.

Some decent trash talking lines in there.

Yeah.

Asking if this is how you talk trash.

And.

Now get another freak in there, and we got a stew going.

Well, I was going to say, that's the grappler you were looking for, right?

Well, no, I was looking for Nautilus, but I knew I wasn't going to get it.

I knew I wasn't going to get Nautilus because he's too cool.

Too interesting.

And the fact that I saw like three command grabs, mind you,

and I think an Ariel wanted to as well is like, okay, so there is a paddock.

You know, do I hold a button?

Do I hold up?

What do I do type thing?

And

it seems like he's going to

probably

be...

Just based on what I'm seeing there, like a...

I didn't see any armor, but it seems like...

He does get armor.

If he charges up his electricity, he gets armor.

Then that's an amazing secondary for just about everybody on that cast.

Someone that can pull them in, someone that can, you know, do

the threat of the,

whatchamacallit,

wrecking ball, or just a command grab and switch.

Pretty sick.

Yeah, cool.

Now let's announce Timo, and we can have a good game.

We'll call it a day.

If you put Timo on that 10th slot, you have a good game right there.

If you don't, bad game.

Just that simple.

His assist restands.

Interesting.

Yeah, okay.

You got a freak bot.

I

also saw.

So there's Blitzcrank.

There was a.

It's been a minute, but there's a new Punch Planet character that came out as well.

Really?

Reno got announced and basically looks like a Black Ops character is is the best I can kind of describe it.

Here you go.

Like, buff girl with a tactical outfit on and

skull death face paint doing CQC.

Oh, man, that's a Cod Blops right there, man.

Yep.

Yep.

I'm seeing a siege character doing CQC.

And she's got counters and rolls and arm and leg breaks.

And I'm going to say like...

I'm a fighting game character from Cobblox the Siege.

Krav Maga or something to that effect, you know?

Yeah.

So

I thought that they were satisfied having like kind of muscly girl and then huge snooznoo lady, but Punch Planet's like, no, we got an in-between two as well.

If you want half snoo, you know, a little more.

Don't care for that.

Half snoo, a little more thick.

You got that option as well.

So

cool stuff.

No, I'm just like, you know, shout out to Punch Planet.

That's a, you know, that's a small team, and Will over there is like still working on it after all this time.

Cool fighting game.

Dope to see that there's new content coming out.

There was also a trailer that dropped while we're just talking about the fighting game stuff for a roguelike single-player fighting game

called Poly Fighter.

And it uses a two-mellow track.

So right off the bat, good shit.

I recognize that track as the Jet Set Sona

music.

No, not Polyamorous Fighter.

Just Poly Fighter.

As in Polygon.

Why do all the characters look like that?

Because they're polygonal.

And basically, the deal with this game seems to be like

slay the spire, down to the pick your character, pick your pathways, and go.

But instead of the card game battle, you have a fighting game round or a fight that you play, and then when you beat the enemy, you get to take one of their moves

and

apply it to your kit and then improve your kit over time.

Or

tag fighter?

No, no, no.

It's

weird, you'd figure

because of the yeah, yeah, right, right.

Like, like, right, Tolkon is the 4v4.

You'd think Poly Fighter would be the 4v4.

All right.

I can't.

It's fine.

That's okay.

No, it's fine.

It's okay.

The final boss is the cuel.

And

whoosh.

That's fine.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm trying to, I'm trying to, like, trying to sand it, but I'm not.

Yes.

We fuck a lot of people, fighter.

Go.

Run the bit.

Run the joke.

Listen, I like Slay the Spire, so I think that's a cool idea to just be like, hey, you can kind of go for this sort of randomized progression and stuff.

Seems like a fun idea.

We'll see where it goes.

But yeah, the

I think stuff like World Tour could have been a bit more fun if it had more replayability and a shorter burst, kind of like this sort of concept, really.

So fun stuff.

And hey,

too mellow on the track there.

So, go check it out.

Alright, what else is going on?

There was an announcement after an interview with Mike Booth that he's going to work on a new four-player co-op shooter, Ala Left for Dead.

Yeah.

And so I have to, I know I have to double-check each time, right?

But Back for Blood was made after he left.

Right?

The creator of Left 4 Dead.

I've fallen for this before.

Okay.

Was he not

on Back for Blood?

Turtle Rock made Back for Blood, but he was gone at the time?

Is that it?

Yeah, he was gone at the time.

So he's doing this.

Did he not work on Back for Blood?

No.

Okay.

Maybe I'm ready to fall for it again.

Okay.

Did he work on Evolve?

Oh.

Mike Booth.

Evolve.

Let's see.

I don't know.

I look to you for.

He did not work on Evolve.

Maybe

he's ready to not fall for it again.

I don't know.

Seems like

the timeline was left for dead

and then

some creative work on Counter-Strike and Team Fortress 2 beyond that.

But

yeah,

seems like he left before all the other stuff happened.

I'm willing to fall for it again.

There's only so many times you can call out and be like, I'm the successor of this.

Well, if it's, I guess it's like, it's like, can it?

Is it the director that's gonna get to do that, or is it the other, the rest of the team?

From the people who brought you this thing, they worked in the mail room, and some of them had a producer credit.

The movie trailer bit from the guys that brought you this.

What were you?

You were producers.

Oh, okay, cool.

Were you a producer?

No, I just got a producer credit.

I submitted a

shankar does.

I submitted a treatment on the script, and I got a producer credit.

Executives.

Did the treatment go anywhere?

It shipped.

It got greenlit.

I edited it so that

Virgil would look like even more of a hero.

So

when I had a production credit on it, I added a scene that I thought was really important, and then they shot that scene, and then the scene got cut in the edit because it was shit.

So I'm a producer.

I'm a producer on the project.

Sidebar, Devil May Cry season two

trailer from

that dropped the other moment ago or a week or two ago.

The

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that noise, the noise you just made, that's the noise.

Yeah, I

Virgil's gonna fly that plane directly into the Twin Towers.

So, so what, what I just did, you catch the part where when he walked in, and you're seeing older-looking Dante from DMC One, so he's got the shirt on and he's got the jacket and everything.

You're like, oh, look, it's the older Dante, he looks cooler, or whatever.

Did you catch the part where when Virgil walks on the screen, there's electricity coming off of his boots and off of him because he is the literal storm that is approaching?

I get it, I get it, I get it.

I get it, bro.

I got it.

I've seen it.

I'm just checking in case you missed it.

You might have missed it.

It's a very subtle detail that you might have missed.

Lightning struck, and then Virgil started walking towards the camera.

All right.

And what else is going on?

Well, hey.

Over at Blizzard,

there's an article that popped out where they spoke to some of the teams on Warcraft that were saying, hey, you know, it is possible to use AI tools while still feeling handcrafted.

It's about incredibly...

The word feel is carrying a lot of weight in this.

Load-bearing word?

Yeah, it's about incredibly talented people not doing incredibly boring stuff.

And then the article goes on to describe the ways in which AI integration with their daily teams and yada yada can go and so on and so forth.

But, you know, this is all just a shot because The Chaser, of course, is the article that follows this.

Diablo Dev's Unionized following layoffs and dissatisfaction with AI and pay.

Hey, cool, Blizzard.

You're telling me that parts of your game just don't matter and are shit and are actually really boring for you to make.

And we need to automate those by making those parts.

I'm supposed to be excited by them.

Exactly.

You're like, oh,

have to make the whole thing?

Can't we just get something to generate generate this boring shit that nobody cares about so that the players will get it and then we can just save some money and have

all the creatives working on the more fun, exciting stuff?

God, I am so bored listening to these voice actors do their lines and writing the lines themselves.

Can I just have a robot do all the dialogue?

It's so boring.

I just want to do.

Coming up with these icons for these attacks, you know, is just incredibly boring.

Dull.

Yeah, so you know, the Diabolo team joins the other unionized teams over there

that are part of CWA.

So,

yeah, good on them.

That's cool.

But just alongside of the complaints and stuff that was basically led on by the fact that a bunch of people got laid off, as usual, and so on, comes the other part of it where they're like, also, this AI shit that they keep talking about is creeping up more and more into our daily work, and that shit sucks.

Did you see that Copilot has come to Excel?

No.

Did you see that Copilot has come to Excel with a caveat mTOR?

What was that?

Microsoft says, hey, guys, Excel has Copilot now.

You can use AI stuff for Excel.

However, please do not use it on anything in Excel.

You need to be accurate or reproducible.

Oh, my God.

You know, in Excel.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, like tracking data.

You know, it should, the data should change every time you open up the file, really.

Just based on how it's.

When I load up Excel, I think, oh man, it'd be super fun if all these numbers changed when I wasn't looking at them.

That'd be really sick, actually.

I would appreciate it if it just kind of generated a different number when I scrolled down and back up.

Just make it different.

The whole thing is just an exercise of like people who don't actually care about results.

They care about like, yeah, this feels right.

Yeah, but that feels right.

But the aggression with Copilot and Microsoft also feels like they've hit that sunk cost fallacy threshold.

Yeah, well, they spent a billion Shitzillion dollars on it.

And it's got to make money now.

Between the investors and the desperation and the firings and the forced usage, it's like we must, it must succeed.

It must happen.

There is no turning back now.

We've committed all in and we're in a death spiral at this point.

Oh, yeah.

Also, one of the things is Microsoft Word is going to start uploading your documents to the cloud automatically.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

No, double.

And law offices are now going like, well, no one can use Microsoft Word anymore because

our fucking contracts and in-progress legal documents and discovery and briefs are just going to fucking get auto-uploaded to a company that we don't have control over.

So fucking use something else.

Well, fortunately, OpenOffice won their lawsuit against Microsoft a billion years ago, where Microsoft stole their shit.

So you can go use OpenOffice if you didn't feel like using the Google version.

I do.

Yeah,

because you got the Google version

online that's with your profile.

But if you don't want to use the Google tools, you got the OpenOffice tools.

So those are there too.

No, Microsoft has been

in the business of annoying the shit out of their users for years now.

So it doesn't stand, it's not that surprising that they'd be first to go furthest down this path.

Interesting

anyway.

Um, let's take a couple letters.

Uh, was there any news that I wanted to go over before we hit letters?

There's one piece of news, which one Paul Tassie over at

somewhere, some newspaper.

Hold on, let me check.

Forbes, Forbes

has a Destiny 2 update today.

80%,

80%.

Yeah.

Yo.

Long and short of it is that Destiny has this thing called the portal, which is a way for you to go to certain activities.

And certain activities are doable through the portal.

And now these are the only activities that will provide a gear increase in power.

The only ones.

Which means that 80% of the game is now to do it once and then go to the portal.

Oh, my.

So, by the way, this is the 80% of the game that remains in Destiny 2 is now sunset.

If you were to include the parts of the game that were already

deleted, it's probably closer to 90 or 95%.

So, what are you playing when you boot the game?

I don't know.

I don't know anymore.

Oh,

but it's for long enough, but it's crazy.

They clearly want people to only do the newest stuff that they just put out.

But there's not enough of that.

There's never enough of that.

Oh,

wow.

I'm like,

I don't get the business plan.

I'm going to get $4 billion

for that company.

Also, hey, Wooly, you would know about this.

If you were to play test marathon one hour a day, every day, and do a survey for it at the end of your 30 days, would that be worth $500?

And you may think, this seems like an incredibly specific question, and it is

$500

for

30 hours of work.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Let's, you know, carry calculator.

So it's about

$16.50 an hour.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Let me see here.

Let me pull my calculator out.

USD?

Yeah, USD.

Yeah.

This is about 20, 21 an hour.

In QA context, I take that, sure.

Yeah, but it's not QA.

It's playtesting.

It was sent out into the ether going, hey guys, we're opening up playtesting to people, and we're going to give you a $500

gift card at the end.

Gift card.

Yeah.

Specified.

That's an important distinction.

That's an important distinction.

And

I just want to bring it up because,

like, I remember when I streamed Marathon, I had the most behind-the-curtain, throw-the-curtains open moment I've ever had on stream where I was like, wow, there's a lot of people in here on this stream.

I think I had like 2,100 people or something.

And I was like, I should really keep streaming Marathon because this is really good for my channel.

I don't want to.

And then I just ended the show.

And it just led to this thing of like, wow, you can't even pay people to stream Marathon.

And I guess you have to.

The cool part about gift cards is how when you don't use them after a long enough period of time, there's a fee that starts eating away at their total.

Isn't that crazy?

That's awesome.

That's the coolest part.

Love that.

Wow.

Okay.

Bam.

It was a Discord leak.

I didn't know that.

Well,

let's go into emails while I find out more about that.

You can send in an email to castlesuperbeast at gmail.com.

That's castle superbeast mail.

That's right, the castle superbeast mail at gmail.com.

Yeah, and

there was the update to

the story from last week about Evo shifting hands.

So RTS was being invested in more by Cadilla, and

Sony was giving it off to the other company.

So basically,

they didn't say how much at the time that investment was.

And so it looks like RTS is completely being bought by Kadia.

So Pokemane is

handing off RTS to Saudi, it seems.

So,

yeah.

How could Pokemane do this?

How could, how could you know?

Pokemane was supposed to be the chosen one to save us, not destroy us.

So, yep,

the ever-encroaching influence continues.

Everything is horrible.

It all sucks.

It's crazy how

you chose the birth of your child over the last Evo to matter.

You made the right decision, buddy.

I'm seeing people describing how many different ways their tag can include variants of Khashoggi.

So, yeah, we'll see.

If you got an email, you can send it to castlesuperbeastmail at gmail.com.

Castlesuper Beastmail at gmail.com.

Here's one.

Can you either of you dudes do a flip?

A kick flip will be accepted.

Absolutely not.

Nope.

The last time I tried to do a flip, I was 13.

I almost died.

I had a friend who could do a a flip off of the bottom of the staircase at church, and I was going to try, but then I got a really impending sense of you're going to break your neck if you do this, so that I didn't do it.

I did one on a soft mat, and I didn't complete it, so nuh, cannot do that.

And with skating, I never got the ability to do a kickflip.

The most I was ever able to do was a really shitty ollie.

The first time I used a skateboard, I was 17.

I went to a friend's house, he had a skateboard.

I I stepped on the skateboard.

The skateboard flew out from under me and I fell and hurt my back, and my back hurt for that summer.

You actually got on a skateboard?

Yeah, no, for about one second.

Okay.

And then I immediately hurt myself.

I did not get a second foot onto the skateboard before pretty recently.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, you know, me and a couple friends, you know, post-Tony Hawk were feeling like getting out there, so we did for a bit.

Actually, you know what?

Hold up a second.

Hold up.

I can do a flip.

And how so?

Okay, I'm going to do a flip, but you can't look.

Okay, I did the flip.

I did it.

We heard it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Nice.

It was pretty tough.

Let me see here.

And there you go.

Oh, my God.

Oh, man.

No, this is no, this is.

So I already

used that bit.

I already used that bit like two years ago.

I did like the first entire hour of my show upside down because I had used the New Zealand PSN trick to unlock RE4 remake.

Okay.

And so I was like, well, I'm in New Zealand.

Yeah, all right.

So then, yeah, you know what,

a mailer?

Yes, we can do a flip.

We just did.

That's crazy.

That's amazing.

All right.

Let's see over here.

Seth asks, dear dad and pop.

Oh, you know what's fun?

The discussion now that's being had for

what the grandparents want to be called?

Oh, dude, that discussion, like,

like, I,

like, you know what sucks?

It's, like, it's hard to give the kid non-standard grandpa and grandma names.

Like, grandma and grandpa, like, you build up to that, and that's universally applicable.

But everybody wants the unique thing, and then you have to teach the child the unique thing, and it's like not a real word.

Okay, so for me, because there's a French side, there's French names that apply.

You know, there's Memer and Peper

and, you know, shit like that.

So.

Well, I just had Grama Mont.

Right.

Who wants to be Grama Main?

Exactly.

So there's that discussion.

And like, you know, some people

want to need that.

Some people have the title, but you don't want to take it away from other people.

And, you know, the priority of the step parents versus the biological.

And so there's a whole discussion there.

And,

you know, I'm kind of thinking.

And then on my, you know, on my end too as well, it's just kind of like, okay, so is it like my mom called her grandma Granny, but I don't think she wants to be granny because grandma is kind of normal.

Granny sounds like super old.

Granny's like 95.

Yeah, granny is extreme.

Like an antagonistic flair.

And then like,

there's, then there's places that go with like Mimaw, and I'm like, I don't know, I don't know where that is.

Like Page?

Yeah, Mima.

And Peepaw, and whatever that stuff.

That's just weird.

Anyway, but weirdly, we had a, our grandma was mama.

Okay.

Right?

So

that's not wildly confusing in the early days.

No, but everyone, everyone called her mama.

So it just contextually became known.

There's no mama, there's only mama, and mama is everyone's mama.

And that's it.

You know, so anyway,

we're figuring all that out.

But dear dad and pop,

most people agree that some spoilers have a statute of limitations when it's acceptable.

To assume their common knowledge, Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back, Aerith and FF7 are good examples.

But what are some that reset recently?

What What are some that you believe have no limitation on Unspoiled Forever?

Murder Mystery, anything with a murder mystery.

Two examples for me are the culprit in P4 and Dear Zachary, for example.

Willie, good luck in your successes, and I hope it gets easier.

I promise it gets easier.

Thank you very much.

Yeah.

I think the mystery genre kind of locks the

13 Sentinels is just the whole point of playing the experience is what you learn.

So, talking about that, not only is it very difficult to spoil because of the nature of how the mystery keeps changing, but it defies the whole purpose of the adventure, right?

So,

yeah, I would say anytime there's a mystery, or especially a murder mystery, where your whole journey is all about that ride,

you should probably keep that under locks the whole time.

You know, I will give a big shout-out to Warframe players.

The Second Dream

is

really,

has really good etiquette.

Everybody's really cool about the second dream.

That's it.

It's like people could be not cool about it, but they are.

They're really cool about it.

I think you can tell, right?

In a lot of cases, you can kind of just tell by the nature of what the deal is.

Like, there's some parts too of a game where, like,

so, uh, uh,

Expedition 33, it feels like you can talk about later parts of that game, but there are early parts that you'll just should never discuss.

I would say Expedition 33, uh,

people are generally also really cool about it.

Yeah.

There's a really consistent explanation that everybody I've ever seen have to bring it up as brought up

across across all playthroughs, which is very, very good.

But I think that that's a great example of this question because Expedition 33 has stuff that is openly discussed that happens later

after stuff that is not openly discussable.

Yeah.

You know?

So it's all context of how important it is to the work and how it feels.

Okay, and Cap Flat says,

Dare Harley Quinn variant cover one and Harley Harley Quinn variant cover two.

Is that the one with the farts?

Will farts ever break free?

Can a fart ever be used in fiction as an innocuous action?

Or even a dramatic one?

Must it always be either comedic or at best

a fetish at worst?

Can an attractive character ever fart without it being a fetish thing?

Does the nature of an attractive person doing it forever lock it into sus territory?

Will farts ever break free of their undignified confines?

No, because they're either hilarious or undignified.

First of all, the fact that you're asking the question already makes you sus and puts us onto your game, cap flat.

Make no mistake.

This is not just food for thought.

It is also food for your nose as well.

We're aware.

We know what you're up to.

The Harley Quinn variant thing.

Like,

we both pet got you instantly.

I can't even see the fucking email, and I knew exactly what it was going to do.

This fucking snoofer is trying to get his shit away.

Listen, I know Cap Flat.

I see them in my fucking stream, so now we know they're a snoofer.

Because the thing is, you have to question, right?

Whatever, like, it's Chekhov's gun, right?

So, Chekhov's fart, if you would.

Like, what reason is there to depict a fart in fiction if not to convey either a comedic moment or what you're looking for?

The Harley Quinn variant cover, right?

These are, reason why you depict it is for one of those two purposes.

Like, I can think of, um,

I can think of scenes in movies where a character is like, I don't know, just like outside pissing in the bushes or something, talking to somebody else as like a casual moment of whatever.

That there's nothing too much behind that or so.

But if you had somebody drop Trow and just start blasting down on the trail, you'd be going, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck are we doing?

Right?

Yeah, so like, my life is like a fiction.

Let's assume my life is a fictional story, right?

Let's just paint my life like a story.

So, like, if I were to tell you that, like, earlier in the week, I ate some food or whatever, and like, I farted so bad that my wife got really mad at me because she started barfing.

Like, is that like, is that, like, is that not being played for laughs?

Like, is that not being played for laughs?

And then when I was like, fine, fine.

And then I went to the front door and opened the door and started farting out in the front yard.

And she's like, Oh my god, stop it!

The neighbors can hear.

And I'm like, Well, you said not to do it in the house.

What am I supposed to do?

You like, I'm either telling that for humor or you're supposed to hear that about me as like an impun and like an attack on my character.

Um, um, cap flat, at what moment in the English patient is a dramatic fart supposed to be ripped and not played for laughs or for fetish,

right?

To what ends would the writer indulge in this way?

You tell me because I believe that fiction can be, you can do anything, right?

So you create the reason then.

Find a way.

Like what purpose, like when I'm, when I'm scrolling on TikTok, right?

When I'm scrolling on TikTok and I run into like the darkest dank corner of TikTok, which is farting on my roommate's door or farting in my grandpa's sleep apnea machine or farting on my grandma's oxygen tank.

Like, what am I, and what, what am I supposed to do other than laugh or jerk off?

If you're like, what, like, what, like, what are my options?

In a horror movie, if a character is afraid and they're, they're, they're kind of tiptoeing and then something scares them and they go,

like, you're telling me that that little fear toot, that little fear toot is not, it's not a laugh?

What do you want here?

I forgot about the second part of farting on my roommates.

I did see it.

I did.

I did see it.

Shit.

What's the second part?

Oh,

I don't want to ruin it for you, man.

I don't want to ruin it for you.

It's.

It's.

It's.

I wish I could be as funny as the guy who made farting on my roommate's door.

I mean, my brain only goes so many places, and I'm just yeah, you would think, you would really think.

It only can go so wrong so many ways, you know?

Yeah, you would think.

Hold on.

All right, all right, all right.

Well, anyway.

Hold on, hold on.

Oh, this is a classic.

Here, right, there you go.

Here you go.

Here you go.

Okay, but this is gonna fuck up the set, the stream sounds to all right.

Watch it on your phone.

Sounds matter?

Okay.

Woolly.

Alright, alright.

No, no, because the browser's muted so that no one's gonna hear it.

Yeah, so you watch it on your phone.

Which I put away over here because I.

Okay, alright, halto.

Alright.

Farting on my roommate's door

That's a big ripper

He's got the tippy toes and everything

Did did you see it?

Dude, I saw it.

I did see it.

I couldn't hear the

entirety of

the commentary.

I saw it.

Wait, what the hell?

Why am I not red on my own OBS, but I'm red up on Discord?

I don't know.

A white translucent what

it's a ghost, man.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Got it.

Okay.

All right.

Well, there's your answer, Cap Flat.

Yeah.