Fabio | Club Random with Bill Maher

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Speaker 1 I can eat and then go work out, or I can eat and really have big time sacks. You are truly Fabio.

Speaker 1 The first time I came to the United States, I was 13 years old. As soon I got off the plane, I go like, oh my God, I feel home.

Speaker 1 Fabio?

Speaker 1 Bill.

Speaker 1 How you doing?

Speaker 1 Oh, good to see you, my friend. You look like you're really Fabio.

Speaker 1 I heard you doing it. I thought thought maybe there was an AI version of you.
No, actually, they were really trying to do AI, Fabio, and I'm like, oh man. Are you serious? I swear.
I swear.

Speaker 1 And you know what's crazy? They did it like that. That's not like a hologram.
It's, or is it similar? AI, AI. AI, like.
And he speaks different languages. And it's so, and I tell you, what's crazy?

Speaker 1 They did it like in 10 minutes. Okay.
And I couldn't believe how real it was. And I mean, this stuff is.
Well, where would I see this? Where would where do they see it? Like on the internet?

Speaker 1 I'll get you a link.

Speaker 1 Well, let's not go that far. I'm not saying I want to see it.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. I mean, that to me is scary.
It is scary. And I'm sure they'll do it to me.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's certainly going to be an issue in this presidential campaign. Yeah, and I'm telling you, it's going to be a point.

Speaker 1 You know, that's what Elon Musk and all the people are saying, hey, this thing is scary. This thing, you know, AI can get to a point where it can outsmart the people

Speaker 1 it can take and take well you know of course that's this fear right that's the main thing

Speaker 1 it will happen you know that's there's no doubt it will happen you know i just my friend just gave me this movie called uh colossus you can't see it online you have to buy the actual movie it's from 19 i think 1971.

Speaker 1 eric braden you know eric braden

Speaker 1 longtime soap opera actor he was on the show for like 40 years german guy. You must have seen Ember.
He was in the Rat Patrol. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 He's German with a slight accent, but he's the star when he was a leading man. And it's like amazingly prescient because it means 1971.
So the computer is as big as this room. Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 Beeping lights. But the guy invents AI.
And it does exactly, they're talking about exactly what we're talking about now.

Speaker 1 He assures the president of the United States who they cast somebody who looks just like John M. Kennedy because it was only eight years after his assassination.
So,

Speaker 1 you know, Mr. President, the machine will never be able to outspeak.

Speaker 1 And then Russia comes up with one, just the same thing. And then the two computers get together and then they blackmail the whole world.

Speaker 1 And they do exactly what we fear AI will do, right away, take over and be the boss of us.

Speaker 1 And it's...

Speaker 1 It's crazy. I don't know if you know, but just not too long ago at the Pentagon, they announced that actually the drone,

Speaker 1 it's controlled by AI. AI will make the decision to kill or not to kill.
Right. Okay.
But if you look back in 2008, where Obama was the president, there was a major big mistake.

Speaker 1 One of our drones killed a bunch of people. I think it was in Iraq.
And

Speaker 1 then came out, then it was already controlled by AI. So AI made that decision already in 2008.
And the Pentagon just admitted now. They're just doing it now.

Speaker 1 Or they would just love to blame it on AI because trust me, we've broken up more than a few weddings

Speaker 1 in Afghanistan. I mean, you know, it was not just one time this happened.
Now, look, I've always been of the opinion that Americans are very naive about the threats in the world.

Speaker 1 There are really bad people in the world. And sometimes you got to break a few eggs to make an omelet.
I'm sorry that weddings got killed. people at weddings got killed.
It's not right.

Speaker 1 But 9-11 wasn't right either. And the idea that, you know, there are not people plotting against us and that we have to do something.

Speaker 1 Iraq was wrong to like go to like invade a whole country with an army. That wasn't the right way to do it.
But you got to do something. Drones.

Speaker 1 targeting terrorists is like the least awful option sometimes. And also Iraq was the cushion with Iran.
Because if you remember, of course. If you remember, you know, my father used to be

Speaker 1 a top engineer. And we used to have, you know, Iraqi.
And I remember growing up being 13, 14 years old. And you grew up in Italy.
Yes, Milan. Milan.
Milan. Is that really Italy?

Speaker 1 Well, please, is that Sicily, okay?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, I know enough about Italy to know that... if Americans think the north and the south of America are very different, which they do, they are.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Try Italy. Oh, my God.
Milan is nothing, and they don't really want to be part of the same country. It's true.
It's true. It's true.

Speaker 1 But you go like 30 miles away from Milan and they speak a totally different dialect.

Speaker 1 Talking about dialect, it's like you get 30 miles each way, east, west, north, south of Milan, and it's a totally different dialect.

Speaker 1 And the people are lighter, blonder. Yeah, we have a lot of, you know.

Speaker 1 The men have very long hair.

Speaker 1 Not all.

Speaker 1 Look at you. You still got the fucking...

Speaker 1 That's all your hair. Those aren't extensions? No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Can a man wear extensions?

Speaker 1 You know, it's... I mean, without...
Maybe, you know, it's like...

Speaker 1 Come on, we're still men, man. I mean, probably we're still the last of the Moekin, you know, our generation.
Well, we are, I think, like the two of the very few men our age, 40.

Speaker 1 who have never been married and no kids, right? Yes. And this is because we're homosexual.
No.

Speaker 1 No, this is because

Speaker 1 I always say to people when they ask about this, if you're our age and you've never gotten married, it's either for one of two reasons. You don't like women or you like them a lot.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Right? And,

Speaker 1 you know, it's like, listen, we're smart and we're picky. So we're not going to, you know, and when you're a successful man, especially living in Los Angeles, you have to be careful.
No, there's,

Speaker 1 trust me, I know, and sometimes women are sincere, but I mean, I have a pretty sharp eye now for, like, especially like you say, we're older now.

Speaker 1 I know when a woman wants to be like a Beverly Hills wife and have the Beverly Hills wife life. Maybe it's because they see it on, isn't there a show? Of course there is.

Speaker 1 I've never seen any of those housewife show because I feel like I might get sucked into it. Oh, my God.
But like, and they didn't need a show to tell them how to show. Hypothetic.
What? Those shows.

Speaker 1 Those, you know, those shows. You've seen them, you watch them.
No.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I saw clips and I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe people, they watching this garbage. I mean, come on.

Speaker 1 See, if we had led our lives differently, gotten married, our wives would now be on that show.

Speaker 1 Run your show. Our wives would be throwing drinks in each other's faces.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And look what we avoided. I know.
I know. It's great.
You know, it's like,

Speaker 1 I love, you know, cars, motorcycles. And, you know, know, it's like,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 always women are like, well, Fabio, why you have to have all these cars? Why to have, you know, because I go like, I like variety. Maybe give you a hint.

Speaker 1 Well, I, I, you know, couldn't give a shit about variety in cars. I have one car.
I mean, I'm not a car guy. But

Speaker 1 I, I see your point. And so you like variety so much, it even extends to the automobile.

Speaker 1 It's well, you know, it's like, listen, in life, life is too short you never know right so i believe you know it's like you have to have

Speaker 1 the best in your life you know it's like i understand you work right and then you have fun in life you have to have balance okay so a lot of people they work too much and they don't live life right i like to live life I work

Speaker 1 you look like you're still living it the same. You got the hair, you got the plunging neckline.

Speaker 1 I mean, you look good. I'm sure.

Speaker 1 You too.

Speaker 1 You know, you look great. And those books, you know, so interesting the way, you know, society kind of frowns on what those books are really selling.
Like, it's toxic.

Speaker 1 Like, if you really do the shit that the guy in the book is doing. That's what I'm telling you.
It's America. America is very good to market and marketing and to sell fantasy.
Think about Hollywood.

Speaker 1 It's based on a... On a fantasy, right? Yes.
So the same. You know, those books give people fantasy.
Fantasy, it's healthy. It's an escape.

Speaker 1 But the fantasy,

Speaker 1 that's where the hypocrisy comes in. The fantasy that the women have in the books is sort of frowned upon in other quarters of life and media because it's a little like, I want to be taken, right?

Speaker 1 But, you know, the guy,

Speaker 1 didn't they call them bodis rippers? Because he's literally ripping off the whatever the bodis is. I don't remember ever being with a girl who had a bonus, whatever it is.

Speaker 1 But, you know, the fact that it was being ripped off is, that's a little,

Speaker 1 that's not in the me too

Speaker 1 catalog there.

Speaker 1 You're not supposed to rip things off. But women

Speaker 1 do want something in men that they sometimes, I think, to their own detriment these days,

Speaker 1 root out of them because it's so all about we can't have any toxic masculinity and we certainly are toxic and have done a lot of bad things.

Speaker 1 But, you know, they still want to feel like they're getting fucked by a man

Speaker 1 and not a wimp or a boy.

Speaker 1 I mean, this political correctness is just not sexy. No.
You're right. It's not sexy.
And

Speaker 1 nobody ever came after you for being like part of this evil.

Speaker 1 No, no. You know, it's like...
You know, always treat women with respect on a gentleman, you know, and then takes two to tango, you know.

Speaker 1 So it's sometimes, you know, men and women they do stupid things and then they're gonna bite him in the ass in the long run.

Speaker 1 But, you know, it's like, you know, when you know, all the stuff with the Me Too movement came out, it was such a Hollywood thing.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, where was the Me Too movement with all the women being raped down in

Speaker 1 October 7 in Israel? You know, the movement, they didn't.

Speaker 1 It's so, you know, nobody, no,

Speaker 1 you know, celebrity, no, no, none of the Me Too movement say a word about what happened. No, and a lot of the dumbass, useful idiots defended it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Didn't spend one day in sympathy for the victims, went right to Hamas. It's unbelievable.
Way to go, boys. It's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 And I tell you, all this,

Speaker 1 to me, cancel culture, the stupidest thing, because

Speaker 1 you have, you know,

Speaker 1 people, I mean, you have civilization with thousands of years of cultures and you know it's and and then now the cancel culture I mean these people they chant from the river to the sea they don't even know which river and which sea I mean it's like you don't even know where Palestine is you know it's unbelievable

Speaker 1 and you know my father used to tell me you know they're always going to find out a cure for diseases they will never find a cure for ignorant people

Speaker 1 It's, you know, even you go education. Yeah, look at the education people get today in colleges.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 I mean, it makes them stupider.

Speaker 1 But they certainly don't.

Speaker 1 They certainly don't. I mean, I was a history major.
And

Speaker 1 if I was king and took over the education system, I would make everybody take a course. I don't know what I would call it, but would be something like...

Speaker 1 You are here. You know, on a map, when you're trying to find your way around a park or something, you are here.
So you know exactly where you are in the big picture. That's what they don't have.

Speaker 1 They don't know like how old the Earth is. They don't know like how many people on Earth.
They have no

Speaker 1 perspective. They have no clue.
Where did I come from?

Speaker 1 How old is history? They would be shocked, I think, at all these things.

Speaker 1 And it's very important to know because they have no perspective. This is why they were able to have that attitude like, boy.

Speaker 1 People 500 years ago really should have known better. Columbus was not politically correct.
Yet nobody was then. And And you wouldn't have been either,

Speaker 1 you asshole, if you lived that, as if you were Nostradamus. And in 1492, you'd be like, taking slaves is wrong.
It wasn't wrong to anybody, including people of color in other parts of the world.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I was just reading about, was it the Mayans or the Ingans? It was in yesterday's New York Times.

Speaker 1 chopping the heads off of the children as a, you know, was part of a religious sacrifice. I mean, come on, man.

Speaker 1 I mean, humans just, we grow up in stages, just like you do

Speaker 1 as individuals. Right.
But it's part of our, you know, it's like you have to acknowledge our, you know, culture.

Speaker 1 And also, America was such a different country from the rest of the world because it was a melting pot of different cultures. You know, that is the beauty about America.

Speaker 1 When you grow up in a country like Italy or any place in Europe or around the world, you're pretty much exposed to your culture.

Speaker 1 And most of the time, they tell you your culture is the best. You invented this, you created this.
You know, it's like they, you know, they don't pop. Why did you come to America?

Speaker 1 I came to America because it was,

Speaker 1 um, I, I was very fortunate to travel the world with my parents. My parents love to travel the world.
So, since I was like four or five years old, we went everywhere all over Africa.

Speaker 1 Did your father worked in the Foreign Service or something? No, my father was a top mechanical engineer. Oh, and he was one of the first men to create an assembly line.
Oh

Speaker 1 so it was very very successful. Fiat

Speaker 1 well you know the fiat they were you know it was

Speaker 1 at Milan? Yes no fiat is in Torino. Torino right.
Torino.

Speaker 1 But my father built you know some of the top assembly line for Whirlpool for both so you saw America when you were a kid with your parents and you just liked it and wanted to move here?

Speaker 1 Let me tell you something. I've been around the world.
You know, by the time I was 13, I was already been around in many, many places around the world. And I never felt home in Italy.

Speaker 1 I was always felt, you know, I feel like a fish out of the water in my country.

Speaker 1 You know, I think the mentality, the Italian mentality is kind of like narrow. You know, it's like they still live on a Roman Empire.
And it's like, excuse me, what have you done 2,000 years

Speaker 1 from that time until now? You know?

Speaker 1 It's like those bridges, those monuments, those buildings are still there and they're still standing. You build roads and bridges, then at the inauguration day, they collapse.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. It's crazy.
It's like, what have you done now?

Speaker 1 It's amazing the way

Speaker 1 the forces that collapse the Roman Empire are very similar to what's happening today because

Speaker 1 migration around the world is always such a key factor in it.

Speaker 1 And I'm not saying, first of all, the barbarians who took over the Roman Empire weren't barbarians. They were just different people.
They said

Speaker 1 any more than the people who are coming to this country, they're not barbarians either.

Speaker 1 But when people are on the move, I mean, the Roman Empire collapsed because the Huns, who were from north of Beijing, they were from north of China and they fought with the Han dynasty.

Speaker 1 And then they migrated westward and then they put pressure on tribes that they were pushing out in Eastern Europe, the Viscoths and the Goths. Yes.
Okay. And then they moved into

Speaker 1 the Roman Empire. So it was like when people are moving, it just puts pressure on other peoples and everything changes.
And I mean, immigration is probably the biggest issue in this election.

Speaker 1 And in European elections, I mean, Maloney in your country,

Speaker 1 you know, that's how she got to be the prime minister. And she's the only one in the G7 who's popular now because she has a reputation as being tough on immigration and keeping Italy Italy.

Speaker 1 And when you say that in certain quarters, that'd be, you know, oh, that's racist. It doesn't have to be.
It can be. There can be racist elements.

Speaker 1 But other, but other people, like the majority of people, I think, in some poll in this country said, there are times I just don't feel like I'm at home in my own country.

Speaker 1 They couldn't keep out the people who wanted to be there. I mean, that's what a lot of people would say is going on in this country right now.
We seem unable to keep out anyone. And because

Speaker 1 the people coming through the border now are not just from Central America, everywhere.

Speaker 1 China and like lots of people are saying, oh, you can get in through there. And I just feel like this is going to be Biden's undoing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And being, you know, America, you know, you have a lot of enemy.

Speaker 1 So you really want to take care of your border because,

Speaker 1 you know, ISIS and you know, and

Speaker 1 they caught eight ISIS guys last week yeah there was exactly and you know it's like I guarantee you Hamas they have a lot of cells in the United States and you know and as well as Hezbollah so you know it's like you you have to listen if somebody wants to come in your house should be come from the front door right right not from breaking the rear the window okay because when somebody break your window is because doesn't have good intention i came here legally so you know many times people they go like okay Fabi, you're an immigrant, you came here, but I came here legally.

Speaker 1 I went through the system and I became an American citizen. It's almost like you go to the bank, right? And you're waiting for an hour and a half at the bank and

Speaker 1 you have to go and run your errands and you're waiting and all of a sudden 30 people, they come in and they pass in front of the line.

Speaker 1 Boy, I bet you there's a lot of... chicks who are masturbating to your photos on the cover of those books or who are listening to this going, wow, that guy can talk too.
Well, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm not just a pretty face. No, no.
But women, when women masturbate, I feel like it's very different than we do. I don't mean we like it.
We're very visual. Exactly.
You're very visual.

Speaker 1 Women, they're not that visual.

Speaker 1 You know? Right. That's why, you mean, you know, porn, you know, with men, it's, it's, it's, you know, it's porn.
Because we've, yeah, because we're very visual.

Speaker 1 We see a girl's, you know, working out at the gym or that. Right.
We already, you know.

Speaker 1 Women's porn is almost a contradiction in terms you know it's almost the opposite of what porn is or what classic porn is yes and uh and lesbian's always the exception to it and lesbian porn is just i mean how do you know when you're done is you know

Speaker 1 there's no there's no finale to this show you know talk about third act problems

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Speaker 1 So, what's your life like every day?

Speaker 1 I'm very curious.

Speaker 1 I love life every day.

Speaker 1 I know. I can see that.

Speaker 1 You get up in the morning. In life, you

Speaker 1 balance. No, I don't like early morning.
I don't either. Oh, my God.
I hate early morning. What time do you get up? Normally?

Speaker 1 About 10 to 11. Me too.
I'm telling you, it's like... I'm telling you, we're brothers from another mother.
Soon, I mean, when the sun is that high in the morning, I'm just like a vampire.

Speaker 1 Right. I don't even know how that is.
Well, there's only so many hours in the day, and I like the night.

Speaker 1 I mean, one reason I created this atmosphere for this show is because I feel it's the only podcast that has a nighttime feel. Yes.
You know, like you don't see any cameras.

Speaker 1 It's just you and I sitting in my little den of iniquity, smoking, drinking. You know, that's, I mean, some people are just night people.
I've always been a night. My father worked nights.

Speaker 1 And everything was just always on a late clock. And I'm sorry, but just like a lot more fun things happen at night.
At night.

Speaker 1 When you're an adult, not when you're five.

Speaker 1 I get it. I want more time to be in dirt.
But I don't have that issue anymore. I want more time to be in bars.

Speaker 1 Maybe not bars, but places, you know, out restaurants, people,

Speaker 1 you know. I mean, I

Speaker 1 think there's some morning people.

Speaker 1 They can, I mean, they love the morning. Oh, it's great.
You know, I, you know, I always said, you know.

Speaker 1 I never got morning sex. No.
I just, I can't stand morning. I mean, what what about morning sex? Morning what? Morning sex.
Not between us. I mean just

Speaker 1 well, you know, it depends. You know, if you have a...
Yeah, I mean, I've done it, but it's like, first of all, I feel disgusting when I first wake up. I mean,

Speaker 1 even when I see it in a movie, when people wake up and kiss each other, I'm like, ugh.

Speaker 1 How can you kiss someone after eight hours of sleep? I mean, it's just, it just, but some people are not bothered by things like that. It bothers me a lot that, like, I'm fastidious that way.

Speaker 1 So, like, the idea that you could wake up after all that sleep and then just start like kissing,

Speaker 1 that's gross. And, you know, you're kind of, who knows what's in your eyes?

Speaker 1 It's just, it's just,

Speaker 1 you know, you get, it's better at night, night.

Speaker 1 You know, listen, you know, some many times in the morning, you know, especially when you're younger, you know, you get up with a boner and then, you know,

Speaker 1 you know, you go to the bottom of the body. Get up with a boner, you know? Yes, you do.
You know,

Speaker 1 it's always, you know, when to a certain age. I think that that was Ben Crosby's theme song, you get up with a boner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I still get up with a boner sometimes, but I don't have to put it in someone. It's the morning.
Can we just like have coffee? And like, you know.

Speaker 1 Yes, the best time is after coffee and some breakfast. It's not going anywhere.
Right. But I mean, I've also, I must say, in the last, I would say, five years especially,

Speaker 1 really appreciate, since I started doing like

Speaker 1 a kind of a fast a couple of times a year, and you get used to like not eating for like a stretch of hours, that most of my life I, you know, I just like went by the normal thing of three meals a day and like,

Speaker 1 no, I don't have to. Two is fine.
And

Speaker 1 I really like the time of the day before I eat because I just have more energy. Food makes you eat.
Oh, totally. Totally.
You know, it's like, yeah. You know,

Speaker 1 normally I always say like a brunch because by the time I get up, I have, you know, my breakfast, you know, and then

Speaker 1 some, some eggs, omelette, and so on. So I do my brunch every time.
And then I don't eat until, you know, the evening.

Speaker 1 But yes, of course, you know, it's like every time you eat, you have, you get more energy.

Speaker 1 You get less. Huh? You get less.
When they eat,

Speaker 1 you get more. From eating? Yes.
Oh, see, there we're opposite. Yeah.
No, to me, I'm like a wolf. I eat and I want to sleep at the mouth of the cave.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, because the body, most of the body's energy is taken with digestion. When you have to digest something, that's like, I never want to like fuck after eat.
You know what?

Speaker 1 It's fuck and then eat. This makes so much more sense.
I'm trying to be fun. It's so funny because in Italy they used to tell me that, oh, you know, you eat and then you.

Speaker 1 And I was like, no, I can eat and then go work out or I can eat and

Speaker 1 have big time sucks. You are truly Fabio.

Speaker 1 You are

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 burn calorie. I mean, now you got, you know,

Speaker 1 you fill up your tank and, you know, you're ready to go.

Speaker 1 You fill up your tank, but

Speaker 1 most people get lowy after food. Most people get lethargic.
Most people get sleepy. Again, because...
all

Speaker 1 your digestion because most of the blood your body just wants you to like you know sit down and do nothing while it does its job. I mean, I'm

Speaker 1 using my first meal. It's a, it's a kind of a shake, but it's heavy with a lot of stuff in it.
And like, I can guarantee a half hour after I drink that,

Speaker 1 I will not be able to stay awake for just 15 minutes, but like, it will just kill me. My body's just saying, you can't even be conscious now.
We are just working on this now.

Speaker 1 We are working on this thing you just ate, and then we'll wake you up when we're done with that. But we can't do two things at once.
So if you can do all these things right after you eat, work out,

Speaker 1 you're not even supposed to do that. Doesn't it? I've been doing it all my life.
It doesn't even bother me. You ever told you as a kid you're not supposed to go back swimming in the ocean?

Speaker 1 All the time. And I used to be very summer.
And I wanted to prove the point. I used to jump right in the ocean.
Really? Oh, I used to draw my parent correctly. And it never killed you? Never.
Never?

Speaker 1 You're still alive. That's awesome.
So

Speaker 1 not to get too personal, but that's why you're here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, you know, it's like it's and tell you, the world is beautiful because it's colorful, you know, and there is no such a, you know, everything,

Speaker 1 there is exception to the rules, you know, in everything.

Speaker 1 Apropos of what are you saying there? Well, you know, there is always exception. I mean, is that what? What are we talking about?

Speaker 1 Exception to what? On everything.

Speaker 1 To what, though? I mean, why are you making this point?

Speaker 1 What's the exception?

Speaker 1 I mean, what's the

Speaker 1 rule that we have to make a thing about the exception? I know.

Speaker 1 But, you know, it's like it's like you were saying before, you know, like it's like, oh, you know, people eat and then they can't work out. Oh, I see.
I see.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. That's unsaney.
Right. No, absolutely.
Everybody's. It's different.

Speaker 1 Everybody's so different, especially about very personal things like that.

Speaker 1 That's why, you know, guys like us, I mean, we can sit here and chortle about, oh, we never got married, so we don't have the divorce and all the horrible things that we think that happen with marriages.

Speaker 1 And awful things do happen with marriages, but also great things happen with marriages it's just based on who you are and your nature and like what works for you i i people say why are you anti-marriage and i always say i'm just anti-marriage for me i get it that it works for you right there's some people that are meant to be married and there's some people they can be alone you know there's a lot of people they can be alone j-lo

Speaker 1 that's all

Speaker 1 i mean i'm not picking on her but that was all in the uh i saw dr drew I texted him yesterday. I was kidding him about it, but he was on TMZ last night.

Speaker 1 And he would, because he had to be interviewed about J-Lo and Ben breaking up. And like, that was his thing.
Like, some people cannot be alone. Guys, too.
I've known guys like that. Oh, a lot of guys.

Speaker 1 Yes, guys who, oh, my God, they like were unhappily married for 20 years. I know guys like this.
And they would always be bitching. And it was every joke was about how horrible the marriage was.

Speaker 1 Right. Like,

Speaker 1 it was like I was laughing at the jokes, but I would always be thinking, oh, but for you, that joke comes out of real pain. But okay, if we're all laughing at it, I'll laugh at it too.

Speaker 1 But it made me think, I'm glad I'm not married.

Speaker 1 So they're married for like 20 years and

Speaker 1 they just can't get the courage to break off. They want to get out of it, but they've got kids.
The roots run deep, you know, all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 Money sometimes is, but they're miserable every day. and all the jokes are about how they never get laid and they never get blown

Speaker 1 and they finally

Speaker 1 they just are driven to a point where they cannot take it for one more

Speaker 1 second and they do it they get away and then they fucking marry the first girl who gives them a hand job

Speaker 1 just they break right back into prison that's true it's almost like you know every single every single guy wants to marry a nymphomaniac and after a few years you know, like the nympho live and you got the maniac.

Speaker 1 And the maniac stay, you know, it's like, but listen, some people, they're meant to be

Speaker 1 married.

Speaker 1 You know, they find that really special person,

Speaker 1 that bondage, you know, and some other people.

Speaker 1 They're just, you know, people like me and you, we're not, we're very, we are happy people.

Speaker 1 We are happy to by ourselves i mean you know number one happy smiley people in life you have to be happy okay well you're right but yeah but the problem is with a lot of people they always try men and women they always try oh i'm gonna be happy only if i find the other person no you have to be happy first to be happy first then you have to find somebody else who's also very content

Speaker 1 with their life and then maybe we can we can share something but you know if you're miserable and uh and you get another person, you're only going to bring the person down.

Speaker 1 Or if you're happy and you and you marry somebody who's miserable, there's nothing you can do, she's going to bring you down, right? Well, you know what people usually use to make up for being happy:

Speaker 1 liquor and drugs.

Speaker 1 It's so sad.

Speaker 1 818, kids. Well, I'm glad you're happy.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know, it's like it's listening. If you keep your life, you know, I always try to keep my life simple.
not you can complicate your life as much as you want correct complicate your life

Speaker 1 then you're going to pay the consequences if you keep your life simple it's much easier to have a happier life okay so so put some meat on those bones what do you mean by keeping your life simple what's keeping it simple not getting married see no i mean see what you really no but that's a big part of simple it's like once you not again and again i'm not knocking marriage because i think i know people who'd be miserable without their spouse but it does immediately life is complicated because first of all, you've invited the government, the legal system into your life.

Speaker 1 You are now in a relationship, not just with your partner, but with the legal system of the United States. So if shit goes sideways, the legal system gets involved.

Speaker 1 That was always a very big red flag for me. Yeah, but yeah, that is in this country.
That is in the United States. In a lot of place on earth, you know, other countries is not as that complicated.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? But, you know, in the United States, everybody knows. I mean, you know, you mean the divorce? It's easier to get divorced and stuff in other countries? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's, it's, it's, and also, you know, it's like another country, a lot of countries that don't believe in suing

Speaker 1 each other. They're like, you know, in this country, I mean, you know, it's like one of the first they tell you is like, prepare to have a lawyer in your pocket because you need a lawyer for

Speaker 1 in Islamic countries. countries, I mean, I'm quoting this from fairly recent times.
Maybe this has changed. So, if it has, don't hate me on that.

Speaker 1 But certainly, in this century, and I think still in many places, all that has to happen is the man has to say, I divorced thee, I divorced thee, I divorced thee three times.

Speaker 1 I'm not kidding about that. Oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 That's like a law. Yeah, yeah.
I think that's probably still what happens in Saudi Arabia. They can have as many as women they want.
That's a lot easier than Jacoby and Myers.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 and getting Saul Weinstein involved in your life and having his bills come everywhere. And I see why guys go apeshit.
I mean, I've seen this with so many guys who they go through the divorce.

Speaker 1 They think, you know,

Speaker 1 they set themselves up for life with the perfect wife. And then

Speaker 1 And not only do they now have to pay these exorbitant legal fees of their own, they have to pay her lawyer. They have to pay the guy who's fucking them in the ass.

Speaker 1 I can see why this drives them to the brink. And I've seen them.
Oh, yeah. And,

Speaker 1 you know, I mean, it's the kind of thing that can make you physically, and I think it has made people physically sick.

Speaker 1 Relationships are wonderful, but

Speaker 1 they can actually,

Speaker 1 if they go badly, can make you physically sick. Or in Johnny Depp's case, just lose the tip of the finger

Speaker 1 i know and you know it's like you've been around you know how many really people

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 meet they're extremely happy with the marriage i mean the majority they're they're they're not they're not oh i'm happily married i mean everybody's miserable you know it's like no i know i i do this bit in my act so i don't want to like pretend that i it's not a joke but I always say when people ask me why I don't get married, I say, because when you ask people about a marriage, what comes out of their mouth, the first thing is always some variation of,

Speaker 1 well, it's tough. You know,

Speaker 1 it's a lot of work.

Speaker 1 It's never, yi-fee!

Speaker 1 And that is another, you know, these are just red flags. And have you ever been engaged? Because I was engaged.
Never. Never, never even got that far.

Speaker 1 When I was 29.

Speaker 1 I was engaged, bought a ring. I remember in New York City.
I was living out here, but we went back to New York because the 47th Street Diamond District, you know, on the west side of New York City.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So, you know, that whole block. It's it's immortalized in the movie Marathon Man.
Jibbusi Marathon Man? Yes. Lawrence Olivier, Dustin Hoffman, classic, and that's the end scene.

Speaker 1 And every shop is a diamond district. And you can buy just the chip, you know, and I did.
I remember it was $1,250

Speaker 1 to get just a little diamond. And then you'd put it on a ring.
ring, but you saved a lot of money doing it that way.

Speaker 1 So, you know, and,

Speaker 1 you know, then we lived together and it was just,

Speaker 1 I used to call it, it was a real Italian movie. It was duck and fuck.
You know, we would, we would fuck a lot and then there would be fights and, you know, it's just there is a level of

Speaker 1 drama that you will put up with, or at least I would put up with at that age that I guess I just thought was normal, that I would never put up with today.

Speaker 1 Ever.

Speaker 1 Like, I just don't have, I just wouldn't allow the drama. The time and energy.
And also, now at our age, we sat in our ways. I mean, you know, we...

Speaker 1 And what I think we prize, at least for myself, is two things, comfort and acceptance. That weren't, that were, comfort and acceptance were not number one and two on the charts when I was 25.

Speaker 1 Maybe they should have been. But you're different.
and you have different goals and you have different feelings and you just can put up with more.

Speaker 1 I mean a lot of what's great about aging is like weeding out things that you never liked to begin with and you don't have to put up with anymore. You get wiser.
Wiser? So you and more

Speaker 1 able to just eliminate what you don't want, the clutter in your life or the things you never wanted to do. Right.
Like Christmas.

Speaker 1 You know, I did christmas forever and now i don't like i don't hate it it's just like i'm not doing anything for it i'm not buying you anything i'm not going anywhere right i don't have to get a tree i do i mean it's the same tree every year it's not real it's lovely i love a christmas tree i love christmas yeah you know make me do anything and plus you know freedom is a beautiful things and be able to you know sometime i go like oh you know let's make plants what plants i don't even know when i get up i don't even know what i gonna do right you know I don't even know what I'm going to do.

Speaker 1 What am I going to tell you? Let's do this. I don't even know what I'm going to do.
So when I wake up, I want to do whatever I want to do. That's exactly how.
That's, again, exactly how I feel.

Speaker 1 Like, I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. That's a tough thing to do in a relationship.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 I'm of the opinion that the word consider is the most important part. of a real relationship because the word considerate comes from consider.

Speaker 1 You just have to consider what the other person is doing almost always, especially if you live with them.

Speaker 1 You don't have to

Speaker 1 do something about it all the time, but you just can't live your life without thinking about what another person is doing at this moment. And

Speaker 1 I think most of the stress in my life came from when I was in a relationship and I had that to, it just doesn't suit me. I'm a lone wolf.

Speaker 1 I'm the same word. You know what the other word is compromise.
I hate that word. As a matter of fact, I cut them off from my vocabulary.
There's no compromise. I mean, what I want to do, I want to do.

Speaker 1 He's like, you know, that's the way it is. You know,

Speaker 1 compromise.

Speaker 1 Why do I have to compromise?

Speaker 1 Alan Richson, you know who he is? He plays Reacher. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 He's got a very big career going on. He was just in that big movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was in

Speaker 1 the movie Bruce Willis. Yeah, he he was doing great.
And he was here and he was telling me, and I love Reacher, and he was, by the way, you could play Reacher's dad. That'd be a great part for you.

Speaker 1 Oh, see, I'm always helping people's careers here. You'd be perfect because he's big.
You know, that's the whole thing. There's a thousand Sasquatch jokes about him in the show.

Speaker 1 But like

Speaker 1 he was telling me, he's like, yeah, wherever I'm on location, my wife and my kids come with me. He's like, I'm a lone wolf.
I'm like, lone wolf?

Speaker 1 I'm a lone wolf.

Speaker 1 You're wiping kids can look at that. I'm not a lone wolf.
I mean, it's cool. I'm glad you like it.
But that, I mean, this is a lone wolf.

Speaker 1 And it's actually hard to stay single, especially if you are successful your whole life. I mean, you have to really work at it.

Speaker 1 You know, I mean, somebody once shouted at me when I was on stage, how are you not married? I said, vigilance.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 You know, sometimes people have, you know, society, they have

Speaker 1 the categorize, you know, it's like, you know,

Speaker 1 you get to a certain age and, you know, you have to get married. Women, you know, you're getting older, your clock is ticking, you know, you have to have kids.
And

Speaker 1 it's like, you know,

Speaker 1 there is no real rules in life. I mean, it's like there are rules than society put,

Speaker 1 but you don't have to follow. We're lucky because we live in a place where there are no rules.
That's why we love america with all its flaws or at least i do oh it's the best country in the world

Speaker 1 even with all the shit yes there's a reason why they're trying to get here the reason why our problem isn't keeping people in

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 we're not building a wall right it's such a bad country you know sometimes people hear on tv they're like oh you know america's so horrible

Speaker 1 and it's like why the fuck everybody wants to come in this country because it's so horrible it's not like our diplomats are calling up the dude from Tajikistan and saying, listen, we've both got the same problem.

Speaker 1 Why don't we get together just informally, have a dinner, kind of spitball it, see what we can do about this? Because I know people are just flooding into Tajikistan.

Speaker 1 And if we could just get your point of view, sometimes fresh eyes on a problem would really help.

Speaker 1 It's like, no, this is, and look, Europe has the same issues. I mean, people want to get to, I mean, what I find cheeky, if I may,

Speaker 1 about some of the immigrants who come into places, all of them, but especially Europe.

Speaker 1 This is more of our immigration is mostly Latin American, which is a culture which really does want to melt and is not that distant from us to begin with.

Speaker 1 Spanish, English, you know, they're not that hard to learn

Speaker 1 each other. Okay,

Speaker 1 immigration to Western Europe is a lot of it is Muslim. It's from North Africa.
It's horrible. North Africa.

Speaker 1 well let's let's wait wait wait till we get to the end of this we went jump right to it's horrible okay the people are not horrible no the people are horrible the ideology the ideology and it's it's very different and it's and and some of them are very open

Speaker 1 about talking about a europe in the future that is

Speaker 1 their the civilization they came from that's what i find cheeky you're leaving this civilization which is very different

Speaker 1 than Western Europe.

Speaker 1 Very different than Christian slash atheistic, whatever it is, secular, enlightened Western, enlightenment Western Europe. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then you want to, you're leaving the place that's very different, but then you want to come to this place and make it like the place you left. Exactly.

Speaker 1 You know, I mean, if 51% of any Western European country was Muslim, they would be under some form of Sharia law. I love my moderate Muslim friends.

Speaker 1 Moderate Muslims are great, but there's not that many

Speaker 1 who ever win.

Speaker 1 The more fundamentalists win.

Speaker 1 That is the challenge Islam has. They want to come in your country and they leave a country that were actually kept like

Speaker 1 animal in the cages.

Speaker 1 Because in their country, I mean,

Speaker 1 they were miserable. And then they go to another country where actually they feel all of the sudden freedom and they have some kind of happiness.

Speaker 1 And all of a sudden they want to turn that country into the country like the one they came from. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's cheeky.

Speaker 1 It's very cheeky to do that. It's one thing to come here and say, hey, we were from this other country where things are not good.
We don't really have a lot of freedom.

Speaker 1 We don't feel good about life there. We don't feel like we have a future and our children, blah, blah, blah.
So you're a shining city on a hill.

Speaker 1 We'd like to come here and we'd like to be part of that. And thank you for having us.
And we'll, you know what we're going to do? We're going to contribute mightily.

Speaker 1 And that's what immigrants in this country have mostly done, contribute mightily because they wanted to be part of it. It's another thing to say, we're going to come over here.

Speaker 1 And then, you know what would be great if we had a Sharia law because that works so well in the old country.

Speaker 1 This is the issue that Islam at some point is going to have to deal with.

Speaker 1 It is a supremist religion. I mean, all religions are to a degree.
If you're telling everybody in the world, our guy is the guy, you kind of have to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 They have no tolerance for anybody else. Right.
But there are degrees of that, and

Speaker 1 they do not have as much tolerance, not nearly.

Speaker 1 And it's more fundamentalist. They believe the holy book in a way Christians, because it's an older religion, really don't.
They don't. The Bible says crazy shit too, but nobody takes it seriously.

Speaker 1 But they do take it seriously. They do take it very seriously.
Very seriously. That's what they're saying.
And they've shown it.

Speaker 1 Beheading people from the time of Muhammad all the way to the modern day. And nothing has changed.
And, you know, when also

Speaker 1 Europe was invaded, you know,

Speaker 1 back, I think it was in 1400 from

Speaker 1 Turkish and the Arabs. I mean, Europe was...
Oh, it was invaded way before that. No, but I'm saying.
But, you know, it's like then the Europeans, they kicked them out.

Speaker 1 And the Muslims said, we will be back. Oh, they were.
They were at the gates of Vienna in 1529. Yeah.
And also in 1678. Did not get past.

Speaker 1 But Vienna is the heart, not the heart, but close to the heart of Europe. I mean, and I've been in Vienna.

Speaker 1 I was there in the summer of 2010.

Speaker 1 At least in the summer, like

Speaker 1 I would say at least half the women on the streets were in a complete black chatter. Totally, totally.
It's all over Europe, I can tell you.

Speaker 1 A friend of mine is a federal judge in Italy, and he just retired because Italy Fabio, I mean, I cannot believe where our country is today. And I say, why, what's happening?

Speaker 1 He goes, like, number one, Italian citizen, they are fifth-class citizen, not even second-class, they're fifth-class citizen. Meaning.

Speaker 1 Meaning, then everything, the government supply everything to the immigrant. Everything is for free for the immigrant.

Speaker 1 The pension plan is pretty much gone. You know, you have old people, 80, 9 years old, they go and collect their pension plan.
The government says, go home because we have no money.

Speaker 1 But in the meantime, they give free phone, free everything, free. I mean,

Speaker 1 this is a similar complaint we hear in America.

Speaker 1 But this has been going for many, many, many years in Europe.

Speaker 1 And they're to the point where, like, my friend who's a federal judge in Italy said, you know, I can't take this anymore and I'm going to retire. I mean, our police don't want anything to do.

Speaker 1 In the middle of major city, you will have 40, 50

Speaker 1 people from Arab country, from Africa.

Speaker 1 This is a major, during the day, major square.

Speaker 1 get around 40, 50 guys, they get five or six women and they rip them right down the street.

Speaker 1 The police can be 10, 15 feet away and the police don't want anything to do because if they get into confrontation, then oh they're gonna if they beat up these people, they're gonna be racist and so on.

Speaker 1 And my friend told me it got to a point where

Speaker 1 law

Speaker 1 do not apply to these people,

Speaker 1 all the immigrant. They don't.
They can do whatever they want. Their jail system is full.
So these people, even if they commit crime, they get arrested, they get released the next day.

Speaker 1 So they commit more crime, they get arrested, they get released the next day. I mean,

Speaker 1 it's like that constantly every day. You turn the TV on, it's constantly, you know,

Speaker 1 a lot of gypsy now they are living in Italy. You know, the women,

Speaker 1 the gypsy women, they go on buses and metro, they put a pill, they stuck a pillow under their

Speaker 1 coat, and then they go and start doing, you know, wallet and purse and, you know, stealing money.

Speaker 1 What's the pillow for?

Speaker 1 They pretend to be pregnant. Okay.
Because in Italy, there is a law and a cop cannot touch a pregnant woman. So

Speaker 1 they put

Speaker 1 some TV show put some camera on on a metro and they caught on video all these women. pregnant women, gypsy, stealing money left and right.
So they call the police.

Speaker 1 so the police wait at the uh at the stop you know when the the the metro stop they went in and to talk to this women and try to arrest this women and these women they're hitting the cops they're spitting on the cops they're calling the cops name and the cops there's nothing they can do because

Speaker 1 this woman pretend even if they pretend to be pregnant women

Speaker 1 Because they're not. The cops, there's nothing they can do.
And

Speaker 1 these people,

Speaker 1 they get away with murder every day and i think sometimes people in this country don't understand that crazy woke

Speaker 1 also happens in other countries oh

Speaker 1 i i feel like you could do a whole show about crazy woke in other countries okay yeah trust me italy france

Speaker 1 england

Speaker 1 germany i mean it's like i remember reading one about uh and it was england and like the kids with the you know the ones who are so afraid of everything and need a trigger warning for everything that's going to upset them, they were

Speaker 1 someplace wouldn't allow clapping anymore for a show because the noise, you know, you know, the kids with the ASMR where they have to have soothing voices because everything causes anxiety. Clapping.

Speaker 1 So, like, when,

Speaker 1 but what about the performer, you know, and they're just jazz hands, just do this if you liked it.

Speaker 1 I mean, and you think, this has got to be an onion story. You know, this can't be real.
I'll tell you, you should do, you should do, I can put you in content. You can do some stuff

Speaker 1 in Italy. Stuff of the stuff happening in Italy is unbelievable.
I mean,

Speaker 1 one of the cases, you know, three

Speaker 1 people from Africa, they broke into a house. They put an older man and the wife.
They tied him up in the chair. They beat him up for hours because they were looking for cash and jewelry.

Speaker 1 The people, they didn't have no cash and jewelry in the house. So they beat him up because they wanted, they thought these people had cash and jewelry in the house.

Speaker 1 So then they started looking from room to room to room in the house if these people have cash and jewelry. And, you know,

Speaker 1 this couple, they had a Doberman. And the Doberman was in one of the rooms.
So when the three guys opened the door, the dogman came out. and beat him all three, right?

Speaker 1 They ran to the police.

Speaker 1 And the police went. And you know what they did? They find steel, the bloody couple, steel tied down to the chair.
You know what they did? They arrest the dog.

Speaker 1 Well, that's the moral I take from that story. Dobermans are racist.

Speaker 1 This is like.

Speaker 1 But again, it's not, we're not objecting to this because they're Africans. We love Africans.
We're objecting it because they're robbers. Exactly.

Speaker 1 And of course, if you let too many people in the country with no plan for how they are going to live, of course,

Speaker 1 some of them are going to turn to crime. They want to eat.
They have to, and they want to survive. And

Speaker 1 of course, look,

Speaker 1 for eons in this country, that has been a way you advanced. Scarface came over on the Mario Boatlift in 1980 from Cuba.
And how did he get ahead?

Speaker 1 Say hello to my little friend. Yeah.
You know, and the mafia.

Speaker 1 You know, I mean, that's how you get ahead when you're an immigrant in this country and you feel like it's your, almost your entitlement because the country is treating you so badly.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know what, then fuck you. I'll get into crime and I'll beat you at your own game.
And they often did. The Irish did it too.
And the Jews, Bugsy Siegel, and,

Speaker 1 you know, Meyer Lansky and, you know, every

Speaker 1 ethnic group that's treated, I mean, there's mafias of every Mexican mafia, Chinese.

Speaker 1 No, no, I know. I said the, you know,

Speaker 1 The Godfather. And yeah, I mean, The Godfather is a great movie, partly because it's so understandable, especially in Godfather 2.

Speaker 1 You know, when you see him coming to America and why he does what he does, that's the genius of great filmmaking, I think, is we understand why he is who he is. And he's not not a bad person.

Speaker 1 He does bad things. Yeah.
But he's not a bad person.

Speaker 1 Plus they got a little help from the Vatican. Well, that's Godfather Thoreau.
That's a long story.

Speaker 1 What are you saying about the Vatican? Oh, the Vatican is totally, you know. Were you raised Catholic? Yes, I was.
Are you still? No.

Speaker 1 How old were you when you threw it away? Eight years old. Eight.
My parents said, you know, you're like, you're an angel up to eight years old.

Speaker 1 Then you did your first communion, and the next morning you woke up and you were like.

Speaker 1 I remember first communion. Yeah.
I remember training for it, being traumatized by it, by the training. We had to go after school for like months

Speaker 1 to learn to like this one-day ceremony that was like, okay, you walk to the head of the thing and the old pervert like fucking taps you on the head or sticks something on your tongue or God knows what the fuck it was.

Speaker 1 I was so,

Speaker 1 I was once so so

Speaker 1 like traumatized by this thought of going to catechism

Speaker 1 training that I rammed my head into something at home to get out of going. So I had a bloody head.

Speaker 1 I know. No, I was like, you know, I was really good until I was eight years old and then I had the first communion.
And then the next day I turned like into the Antichrist. the next day.

Speaker 1 My parents, they go like, what happened to you? And, you know, for

Speaker 1 three years, because my parents sent me to school at five years old, so in case I lost one year, I would be normally going to school at six. Really? Six? Yes.
Six? That's pretty late. Six years old.

Speaker 1 In Italy, you don't go to school till you're six. Well, you go to kindergarten first, and then you go at six years old, you go to school.

Speaker 1 I think six, we were by, I think we were in second grade by then.

Speaker 1 It's you know, we have

Speaker 1 five years, then three years, then five other years of like high school, and then you go to college. So you do 13 years.

Speaker 1 That's kindergarten is designed. So why do you think you never felt at home in Italy?

Speaker 1 What was it about Italy? I know they're mama's boys.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 60 Minutes once did a story about all the grown-up Italian men who live with their mothers. Mammoni.
Yep. It's, it's, I'm telling you, it's what's

Speaker 1 mamoni is like you know, it's like yeah, you live with your mom and they they put everything why including it's the mentality, it's the old mentality. They go race and the mother spoiled them.

Speaker 1 I thought they were such macho, you know,

Speaker 1 military.

Speaker 1 Pinching asses.

Speaker 1 You know, not everyone. Not everyone.

Speaker 1 So they pinch ass and then they go home to their mother. I know, but you know, it's like a lot of this

Speaker 1 guy, the mother did everything for them. Everything, cooks them,

Speaker 1 worship them.

Speaker 1 So, you know, it's like even when they're married or they find a girl, they're not.

Speaker 1 We have people like that in America who like to enjoy the generosity of their mother's cooking and their mother's laundry service and their mother's bed. They're called millennials.

Speaker 1 Yes. No, I'm joking, of course.
They're called Gen Z.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's, but in Italy, it's like...

Speaker 1 See, here it's, I think, frowned upon. It's like, oh, come on, get out of the house.
You're in your mother's basement, loser.

Speaker 1 But in Italy, it's not because it's just the way of life, right? The way of life, and it's so used to it. What do the women think of that?

Speaker 1 They must...

Speaker 1 There was a major, you know,

Speaker 1 confrontation and fight between the women and the mother, and the mothers, because, you know. Of course, the woman wants to be the first.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 1 Marry you. Or if I'm your girlfriend, I should come first.
No one's ever second. And no one is ever going to do it as good as your mother i'm talking about hand jobs of course

Speaker 1 no i mean cooking right and laundry and that right it's your mother right but i mean crazy you know there's a time you become a man and then you know you cut the umbilical cord and exactly and you go and you do your life right

Speaker 1 and a lot of a lot of it's when i tell you people when i left italy all my friends are saying are you crazy it's like why are you leaving you know you have a very comfortable life in italy Um, you know, it's like your parents are great, they have a you know, you're the father of a big company, you don't have to worry about for the rest of your life.

Speaker 1 I say, I don't care, I'm leaving because I don't like the mentality, it's too

Speaker 1 old, too old mentality. I've been around the world, so I have a world mentality.

Speaker 1 I've been in America many times, and the only time I felt, I swear to you, the first time I came to the United States, I was 13 years old.

Speaker 1 And uh, as soon as I got off the plane, I got like, oh my God, I feel home. I I felt that way when I came here.
You know, I was raised on the East Coast,

Speaker 1 lived in New York, grew up in New Jersey, then lived in New York when I started my career. So when I came out here, I felt like, oh, you know, it's funny, we're animals.
We know where home is.

Speaker 1 You're right. Same thing when you buy a house.
Like, oh, yeah, I'm supposed to live here. You're right.
It's like, it's not because you're born in that place, you belong to that place.

Speaker 1 But you see the mentality, they were like, they were telling me, if I be crazy, you don't even speak the language. How are you going to survive? I'm like,

Speaker 1 that's it. I mean, the language ain't going to

Speaker 1 stop me.

Speaker 1 Stop you. I'm sure, not that you needed help getting left.
You know what I'm saying? But I'm sure it was, and you know, women love

Speaker 1 American women. It's like you could have been 10 times less attractive as you are physically, and it still would have been a great asset.
You still would have,

Speaker 1 British accents, but especially Italian. Oh, it's just talk about a panty wettener.
Yeah, but you know, it's like a lot of people in Europe, especially, I mean, in Italy or France, they

Speaker 1 think it's like, okay, you know, it's like I don't speak English or my English is very limited. How are I going to survive? How are I going to make a living? How are I going to find a job?

Speaker 1 You know, it's,

Speaker 1 they have that very close mentality also because you know what's the difference between European and American.

Speaker 1 Then I saw right away. In Europe, they always keep you, oh, you're not smart enough.
You're stupid. You're this, you're that.
They keep you low, right?

Speaker 1 And also they have tests along the way that if you don't pass like the baccalaureate in France, you take it like when I think you're 16, your future is completely decided from that moment on.

Speaker 1 You're either now going to become a tradesman or you're going to go to college and become something else.

Speaker 1 That is what, again, is great about America. Exactly.
Also, because we don't, we, you can always reinvent yourself. Exactly.

Speaker 1 And in America, you know, they're like, oh, you know, I think I can do this, this, and this. And America is like, okay, do it.
Exactly. Do it.

Speaker 1 You know, show me. It's like they give, especially the young generation, you know, they give opportunity to everybody in Europe.

Speaker 1 In Europe, the mentality is so old. And, you know, like the people on top, they are like, oh, you know, you're too young and too stupid.
We're the old one, we're the wise one,

Speaker 1 and we know what's better for you. Okay, so we're going to tell you, because you're too stupid, okay, to think for your own.

Speaker 1 We are the wise one, and we're going to tell you. So did they have

Speaker 1 said that it was the kids who are marching for Hamas who are dumb and stupid, and we do need the older ones

Speaker 1 sometimes to actually do that.

Speaker 1 It's a mix. You need the energy of the young, but let's not pretend that they are wiser.
Now, older people can do stupid things, and they certainly can do corrupt things.

Speaker 1 But in general, I would rather have my fate in the hands of somebody who's lived.

Speaker 1 Yeah, definitely. I mean, I'm talking about...
I wouldn't want a young doctor, would you? Would you want a doctor who's 30?

Speaker 1 No, you want an older doctor, somebody who is wise and it is. that.
I want a doctor who's seen it

Speaker 1 1,000 times. Yes.
But, you know, it's not so much that. It's like anything you do over in Europe from a young age, you know, it's like they, they,

Speaker 1 any dream you have, that's the beauty of America. Any dream you have, you can.
Yes, you can. You can.
Over there, it's like, no, we think you're smarter than everybody else.

Speaker 1 You think, you know, like they, they, they, they

Speaker 1 downgrade you. They, they, they, they make you

Speaker 1 like no no you can do it you can't where here is like show me

Speaker 1 no it's that's the big difference between so when i came to america i was like number one america was back then was so far ahead of europe

Speaker 1 in technology i mean i remember the first time i i came to an american airport it was like oh my god this was unbelievable you know future futuristic technology and my father was into, like, he was a top, top engineer.

Speaker 1 So I love technology. And I remember used to come to America also to

Speaker 1 see different kinds of assembly line because, you know, like my father was one of the second or third men in the world to build assembly line. The first one was Ford,

Speaker 1 is the guy who invented conveyors. Okay.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Then back then,

Speaker 1 he was coming to America to see all the new stuff, you know, if there is some new stuff. But then,

Speaker 1 20 years later, I said, Dad, why you don't go anymore to America? They go, in technology, now we are more advanced.

Speaker 1 Really? Yes, we are more advanced. Now they come to us.

Speaker 1 Italy was more advanced than America?

Speaker 1 In certain fields, yes. In certain fields, yes.
Like, you know,

Speaker 1 that's not mostly where, I mean, America.

Speaker 1 Like, let's say in electrodomestic, okay, there was a company named Zanussi then became Philips. And it was at one point, you know,

Speaker 1 with my Federal Assembly line, they were making just a refrigerator, 13,000 refrigerator a day.

Speaker 1 And, you know, and at that point, there was no company around the world that were making that kind of,

Speaker 1 you know, numbers.

Speaker 1 every day. And this company was selling refrigerator, washing machine, dryers, you name it all over the world.

Speaker 1 So, back in the beginning, it was Whirpool, but then Whirpool came like

Speaker 1 followed back in their,

Speaker 1 you know, they were not so advanced with their assembly line and conveyors.

Speaker 1 And Antonio, it's like, you know, a lot of, and the German, the same, you know, it's like all of a sudden, you know, like, I mean, come on, Germany, German engineer, you know, you know, but Germany and Italy are so different.

Speaker 1 But you know what? It's in a lot lot of fields.

Speaker 1 Let's say, because I grew up in that, you know, business with my father. Let's say all the wheels, all the most beautiful wheels in the world, they were made in Italy.
And so

Speaker 1 the German, they were buying all the Italian wheels to put on the German cars. So, and a lot of things, a lot of some stuff, they were like

Speaker 1 wings of

Speaker 1 jet fighter.

Speaker 1 They were made of Section Italy in torino and then sold to the french and to the english mirage you know the the making you know the fighter jet so there was a lot of things in italy back then

Speaker 1 they were like ahead of some other country as matter of fact i mean look at you know why you think also the german they bought all the they bought lamborghini they bought uh you know

Speaker 1 the I got a joke for you, Hannah. Yes.
So what's the difference between heaven and hell?

Speaker 1 In heaven, the Italians are the lovers. Okay.
The Germans are the mechanics. The British are the police.

Speaker 1 The French are the cooks.

Speaker 1 In hell, the Germans are the police.

Speaker 1 The Italians are the mechanics.

Speaker 1 And the British are the lovers. Oh, that's funny.
That's a good one. Yeah.
It's even more elaborate than that. I couldn't remember it, but somebody wrote that joke a long time ago.
It was just genius.

Speaker 1 Like it had five different countries involved. And it was just like,

Speaker 1 oh, yeah. And hell, the British are the cooks.
That's

Speaker 1 what it was.

Speaker 1 That's funny. But I was in Rome when I was 21, when I was, you know, back the pack, the backpack Europe trip with no money and your college girlfriend, you're in love and you have no money.

Speaker 1 That says it all about life, right? Like, you know, you go through life and it's like, boy, could you replicate that experience at this this age no no

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 things come but things compensate I think we live probably one of the best time

Speaker 1 you know definitely it's people have no idea how lucky they are it is not corny or conservative to say you are lucky to live in this country yes and at this time with all its problems I mean there's such a cognitive dissonance between privileged people always complaining about about privilege.

Speaker 1 You know, like the most richest, whitest people are always like, Bill, what are we going to do? And I'm like, look around. You're going to pay your $800 dinner bill for three people.

Speaker 1 That's what you're going to do. Things look fine from here.
You know, and yes, could shit go bad tomorrow? They absolutely could. But I'm not going to get nervous about it until it happens.

Speaker 1 I just can't do it anymore. No.
You know?

Speaker 1 You're right. You know, people, you know, it's like people don't understand how lucky, you know, especially American, they don't understand how lucky they are.
They do not. They don't.

Speaker 1 They do not. You know who does? The immigrants.
That's why Trump is gaining with immigrants all the time. He does better and the Democrats do worse.

Speaker 1 Because immigrants do not like the relentless negativity. Yes.
that is coming from the left about a country they work so hard to get to. They don't want to see it shit upon.

Speaker 1 We wanted to get, you know, imagine working, walking a thousand miles or whatever it takes to get here.

Speaker 1 This place sucks.

Speaker 1 Loser. Oh, you walked to get here.
Oh, well, I guess the joke's on you. You're in shithole now.
No, we came from the shithole. Exactly.
Because, you know, immigrant, they saw that movie before.

Speaker 1 That's why they left. Right.
You know? So for us, it's like when we see all this policy, it's like, Our heirs stand up. They'll go like, you know what? Uh-uh.
This is shit.

Speaker 1 They they pulled a long time ago in our country, and we saw what happened to our country. Did you go back to Italy a lot? No.
Never.

Speaker 1 You must have old friends, no? They come here.

Speaker 1 They want it. They want it.
You see, they,

Speaker 1 this country have so much to offer. And so when they come over here, they really appreciate it.
Italy,

Speaker 1 it's a shithole now. It's everything.
I'm telling you, it's like a shithole. Oh, Oh, it is.
Well, it's in the G7.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, come on. It is still in the top 10 of the world's economies.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 They're all left. These are all left.
These are facts. No.
These are facts.

Speaker 1 Matter of fact, why you think, okay, that's why a lot of people in Italy now, they're like, they're going crazy because they move a lot of their company. in Russia.

Speaker 1 Really? Yes. And Russia.
And Putin,

Speaker 1 I'm talking about big companies, some of the biggest company, because tax, tax, tax, you know, the government takes 75%. They want a 75%

Speaker 1 of every single dollar you make.

Speaker 1 Italy has always had

Speaker 1 no deduction. They switch governments like I switch neckties.
I mean, it's, and they flirted with communism in the 70s. I mean, they were very, I know, trust me.

Speaker 1 Italy was very, very close to being a communist country. That would have changed a lot of things.
To have Italy, one of the pillars of Western civilization, go communist. Yes.
The Red Brigade,

Speaker 1 I'm sure you're

Speaker 1 in it. I lived during that time.
You were in the Red Brigade? No, no, no, no. But you know what? They were going around a couple of times.

Speaker 1 I was going to school. I had to dodge under the car, me and my friend, because they were shooting.
Right. No, it wasn't.
It was crazy.

Speaker 1 And you know, the Red Brigade, the guy, Morrow, you know, it's like one of the, and then, you know, that politician, then they find chopped up in the trunk of a car yes i lived all that stuff right so i i remember you know well uh i saw it down at umberto's clam house where well they they there was a lot of mafia oh yeah little italy in new york there was i remember when i lived in new york in 79 it was the picture on the front page of the daily news of you know with the cigar still in his mouth and the blood pouring out on the floor of the restaurant.

Speaker 1 Was it Umberto's? It was someplace like that. It was just like, you know, a place I've been to and we all could be at any time.

Speaker 1 And just, who was it? I think it was Carmine Galanti. I don't know.
But the days of mafia rubouts, those were good.

Speaker 1 Well, listen. Let me tell you, but in, you know, the big company, they didn't move to Russia.
Now, Putin

Speaker 1 took all this company away from.

Speaker 1 the English people, from the Italian people,

Speaker 1 you know, because the Italian, you know, they can build anything because, you know, like they get attacked so much.

Speaker 1 So the company they went on, you know, a lot of company, the big one, they left and they

Speaker 1 opened their plan in Russia. And now they're screwed because Putin said, oh, now they're mine.
Right. They took the company away.
And it happened to the English and happened to the French.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 right now there is no way you can do business. in Italy.

Speaker 1 You can open a business, you can have a business. As a matter of fact, look at them,

Speaker 1 except Ferrari,

Speaker 1 all

Speaker 1 the very prestigious company in Italy, they all got bought by the German. So Lamborghini, Ducati, I mean, you name it, okay?

Speaker 1 They all got bought by the Audivoswagen Posher Group,

Speaker 1 and they won it.

Speaker 1 So they do the engine in Germany. and they still do the bodies of the cars and wheels in Italy.
But otherwise, all the rest of the stuff is long gone.

Speaker 1 You're such an interesting guy to talk to. Oh, thanks.

Speaker 1 All right. I got to go back to my real job.

Speaker 1 But come back here someday. Definitely.
I would love. Invite me.

Speaker 1 Even when the camera isn't on. Definitely.
We'll just do the exact same thing. Yes.

Speaker 1 But, you know, usually. Oh, we can go and

Speaker 1 we're the only two unmarried, childless.

Speaker 1 You don't like kids either, right?

Speaker 1 I don't mind kids for the other people. I mean, I can play with kids, but then, you know, it's like it's...
See, I can't even do that. I know.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I have my book for you, buddy.
That was fun.

Speaker 1 Glad I got you.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm glad I got you.

Speaker 1 Be our guest at Disney's enchanting musical, Beauty and a Beast.

Speaker 6 Fill your heart with joy and Disney magic. Brought to life like never before.
Coming to the Orpheum Theater July 14th through August 9th. Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.