Long In The Leg

Speaker 1 Say hello to the all-new Alexa Plus and see how Alexa can do so much more for you. Need last-minute concert tickets? Craving your favorite restaurant? Just sit back, relax, and talk naturally.

Speaker 1 Alexa's on it. It remembers what you love, anticipates what you need, and makes it all happen.

Speaker 1 Whether you're using Echo, Fire TV, or any compatible device, Alexa Plus brings thousands of possibilities to life.

Speaker 1 Everything.

Speaker 1 The fact that you can just order concert tickets through her, that's that's crazy yeah exactly you didn't know that even i knew that wow yeah and i fought in world war one and i know that ready whenever and yeah and you were born in the second obama administration this is incredible ready whenever inspiration strikes amazon.com slash new alexa

Speaker 1 The LL bean flannel has been part of the holiday for over a century. Cozy, reliable, and made to last.

Speaker 1 It's the shirt you wear when you pick out your tree and when you're home relaxing with a warm cup of cocoa.

Speaker 1 And it's the one you wore in the family photo where somehow everyone's matching without even trying.

Speaker 1 These shirts, these flannels from LL Bean have been around for a long time. Yeah, they have.
They've been around from the olden days. I'm going to go churn some butter.
But first, my LL Bean flannel.

Speaker 1 Oh no, President McKinley has been wounded.

Speaker 1 Anyway, these have been around a long time. They're great for the holidays.
You got to get them. Go check out LL Bean Flannel.
Invited to the holidays since 1912.

Speaker 1 Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/slash call Conan.
Okay, let's get started.

Speaker 1 There's so much water that's almost spoiling. Hi, Micah.
Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi, thank you so much.
Hello. Hi, Micah.
How are you? Welcome to your water talk. I'm very good.

Speaker 1 How are you? Thank you for pronouncing my name correctly. Wow.
Well, Micah, I take the world's people very seriously. I like to understand all cultures.
And

Speaker 1 I think she was talking to me. No, she's talking to me.
Micah, I'm going to start fresh because it's a muddled beginning and

Speaker 1 we can edit it. I'm just talking to myself.
Micah, how are you? I'm good. How are you? You guys doing? We are doing great.
And you are coming to us, I'm told, from Amsterdam. Yes.
Are you a native?

Speaker 1 Are you a native of Amsterdam? Is that where you're from? Yes.

Speaker 1 Can you hear by my speech? I'm not good at picking out various accents. So I wouldn't be able to listen to you and say, oh, that's an Amsterdamian accent.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah. But I do.
I was in Amsterdam many years ago shooting a project, and it was one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. The architecture,

Speaker 1 the people,

Speaker 1 I was just stunned. You had good weather, I assume.
Otherwise, you probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much.

Speaker 1 What makes you think I don't like bad weather? I like rainy weather. I like foggy weather.

Speaker 1 Your hair would get a little

Speaker 1 upset with bad weather? Oh, yes. My hair absorbs moisture and then it gets even bigger.
Okay. So, but enough about me, Micah.

Speaker 1 It's very nice talking to you. And I'm looking at your, right now, your beautiful Amsterdam home.

Speaker 1 Everything is very orderly and gorgeous. There's the natural woods, which one does find

Speaker 1 in the northern realms of Europe.

Speaker 1 Micah, tell us. And everywhere else.
Go for us.

Speaker 1 Turtle gold trees.

Speaker 1 Please.

Speaker 1 Ours are very specific. Please, Mike.
I've never been more on my game. And I can't believe you'd interrupt this incredible role.

Speaker 1 Natural woods, Micah. I see you have those famous Dutch woods.
I mean, you have fake wood.

Speaker 1 Yes. They're made out of paper.

Speaker 1 Well, you guys got it all. Very nice.
You Dutch in your paper books.

Speaker 1 Go, Kindle, or get out. I say, Micah, let me ask you a little bit about yourself.
You seem like a lovely person, full of energy, very young. Tell me what you do.

Speaker 1 I work as a high-fashion model. Oh, my God.
Well, that makes perfect sense. You are.
extraordinarily beautiful. So

Speaker 1 you really are.

Speaker 1 She really, I can't stop looking at your cheekbones. Thank you.

Speaker 1 You're not sure if it's like a filter or something, you know? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 And how long have you been a high fashion model for? Is this a thing that you began doing very young?

Speaker 1 Yes, I started when I was 13 and I'm 30 now, which is, I want to say, old within this industry. So for a very long time.

Speaker 1 And it used to be normal to be 13 and start modeling, which now doesn't happen anymore. Oh, they don't do that? They make sure that people start a little later on.
Yes, there are rules now. I think

Speaker 1 that's probably good.

Speaker 1 Well, I will pay you an obvious compliment

Speaker 1 that just on Zoom, you're, I mean, stunning. And

Speaker 1 I don't see why Micah could not model for another 60 years. You really do.
You have beautiful.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 60 years. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Until you hit 90, though, you have to stop. Yeah, at 90, you stop

Speaker 1 or you go down the runway with a walker.

Speaker 1 What do you think I should do at 90? At 90?

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 I would say paint over that natural wood. It's time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
No, it's just time to change it up a little bit when you hit 90. Just a nice thick coat of pink.

Speaker 1 Micah,

Speaker 1 fashion model. Have you modeled all around the world? Have you traveled a lot? Have you traveled to the great cities to model? Yes.
I used to live in New York for six or seven years.

Speaker 1 That's actually when I first heard your guys' podcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I usually when I have a job, I go to Paris or Milan or anywhere else within Europe at the moment.
Okay. So

Speaker 1 are you all around? Are you tall? Many models have to be a certain height. How tall are you? I'm six feet.

Speaker 1 How tall are you? Oh my lord. I'm six's four, but if I've got Joe in the hair, I'm six, seven, six, eight.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 yes.

Speaker 1 Yes, I am six feet four inches tall. And

Speaker 1 nice. Thank you.

Speaker 1 You're just where you thought about. Yeah.
Have I thought about modeling? You know,

Speaker 1 Is that where you want to go? Well, listen, Micah, I could use your advice.

Speaker 1 Do you think I have what it takes to be... I know that I'm a little long in the tooth.
I'm an older gentleman. But do you think I could be a model? Do you think I have what it takes? I think, yes.

Speaker 1 I think also nowadays, you know, there's more diversity within age. I think you would be perfect.

Speaker 1 And you've compared yourself to Tilda Swinton, which I think is the most gorgeous human on this world well i um which one me or tilde swinton

Speaker 1 think about it think about how long you want this interview to go on language barrier

Speaker 1 very nice micah micah you should

Speaker 1 you should become a diplomat you should work for the united nations it was very well done um that's what i'll do when i'm 90.

Speaker 1 i i am uh i'm very long in the leg i think that's helpful when you're a model my legs are very very long beautiful Yes, I think it would be perfect. Beautiful long legs.
Beautiful.

Speaker 1 I don't know who's going to be.

Speaker 1 Where do you find your jeans or your pants? Or do you have someone that and don't? No, I'm able to. It's hard for me to get them off the rack.
They have to be quite long.

Speaker 1 Very long.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to say sensual.

Speaker 1 Did I say that earlier? My legs are sensual?

Speaker 1 How do you, how is that? I mean,

Speaker 1 meaning my legs have senses and they enjoy food. Oh.

Speaker 1 Okay. They're sensuous.
And your legs eat? Yes. That's even more disgusting.
Little mouths on them. Okay.
Hey, Micah, this is. I'm going to drink up food with your feet.

Speaker 1 Yes, with my feet, and then I feed my legs.

Speaker 1 Micah,

Speaker 1 Micah, you know what? I'm going to blame you. You're very beautiful and you're very funny, but you came on and you destroyed this podcast.
And it's your fault. I think you did this.
Me, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's all your fault. I'll take the blame, no problem.
Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 We have that.

Speaker 1 Micah, I have to ask you a question because it's something that I'm naturally curious about. You are a very stunning person, and what's it like when you're walking around?

Speaker 1 I'm just imagining that guys would bother you all the time, and that would be annoying. They don't.
They don't?

Speaker 1 No. At this point, I'm almost, I don't want to say insulted because I don't want to be bothered, but also, yes.

Speaker 1 No, I don't get both. I don't get stopped at all.
Do you think it's because they're intimidated? No, I don't know. I think it's, I mean, you're six feet tall and you look like a supermodel.

Speaker 1 And I think it would be very, it's a very confident man, I would think, that would walk up to Micah and say, hi, would you want to go get a burrito sometime?

Speaker 1 That was my opening. The burrito?

Speaker 1 You're not taking her to like a nice restaurant? This was a line that I tried.

Speaker 1 The long food. His legs got to eat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a man's legs got to eat, Sona. A man's legs got to eat.

Speaker 1 I just, I wouldn't. No, they don't.
Really? Okay. I think it's intimidation.
I think they would think there's no way that Michael.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's what I tell myself to fall asleep. I'm not sure.
I think so.

Speaker 1 Also, your producer told me you have a resting bitch face. I think I might have the same thing.
Oh, you think I have a resting bitch face? Oh, sorry.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't. One of your

Speaker 1 play. You do.
No, I mean, it's a good thing. You know what's happening? That makes you a good model.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes, I think, look, I'm going to... I'm not insulting you.
For people that are listening, you can always go look this up. But my natural face in the world is this.
It's that one.

Speaker 1 It's that one that's turned away from me or the one.

Speaker 1 The one on the left. Thanks a lot.
Thank you. Here we go.
No, no, I was actually thanking you. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Can you see it?

Speaker 1 Do I need to get closer? I don't know if this thing zooms or not. Do you want to hear?

Speaker 1 Maybe we can try to get it. No, no, you don't have to go that close.
Not that close. Maybe you get further.
You can go further away.

Speaker 1 Maybe even dark. This is good.
Oh my God. Oh, the posture.

Speaker 1 Sit down and they can zoom in on you if that's okay.

Speaker 1 Please sit down and they can zoom in on you.

Speaker 1 All right, here we go. They're zooming in.
Now do it. Okay.
Wow. Oh, thanks a lot, Micah.

Speaker 1 What happens is my natural face, and what happened when I lived in New York and I was doing the show is I'm always smiling on television. Dorman

Speaker 1 would see me. And I was just neutral.
My face was neutral, but this is my neutral face. And people were were constantly saying, what's wrong, Conan? Why, you know, cheer up.
And I was fine.

Speaker 1 I wasn't sad. I was just neutral.
Why are you calling me? That's what happened. No, I'm sorry.
I was just, yeah, this is. Well, okay.
Yeah, that's what happened. Micah, that's just gravity.

Speaker 1 Now, you are a

Speaker 1 genetic. You were talking about

Speaker 1 a 30-year-old supermodel and with a beautiful face, and you're talking to a man who is into his 90s.

Speaker 1 And gravity is tearing at my face tearing at it shredding it and so that's what's happening but maybe you've you've left too much in your life you know and they want to relax so they want to hang like in the downtime your smile muscles just want to maybe that's weird look at this guy do you like this guy better

Speaker 1 oh no oh god i can't win no my confidence is destroyed can you do it one more time hi how are you oh my god hi micah i love it how are you nice to see you my name's conan and i'd like to buy you a burrito oh my God.

Speaker 1 He's the burrito. They're doing a zoom-in on you now.
I don't know if it helps.

Speaker 1 That's my favorite food, and you're somehow making it off-putting.

Speaker 1 Well, Micah, I have to ask, because my interest is peaked now, are you in a relationship? Are you married? Is there someone in your life? Let's discuss.

Speaker 1 I am in a relationship with a man called Robert.

Speaker 1 Is Robert also from Amsterdam, or did you meet him someplace? He's also from Amsterdam, but we met on Bumble.

Speaker 1 And he said he would not have approached me in real life either, but that's because he has only dated women that are like five feet tall.

Speaker 1 How tall is Robert?

Speaker 1 He's 6'1.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So, yeah. Yeah, but no, no, but we're in a happy relationship.

Speaker 1 He's fine with my height. Thank God.
Well, he's, yeah, he's got an inch on you. That's fine.
That's a 6'1 ⁇ .

Speaker 1 And also, many women are happy with shorter men. Many men are happy with taller women.
It takes all kinds. You're making it a trend now, too.

Speaker 1 Shacking.

Speaker 1 It's like a thing online, right? I see Sona. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 My dream,

Speaker 1 and my wife knows this, is to be with a woman who's like three feet taller than me.

Speaker 1 Having trouble finding one. Yeah.
Just that she carries me wherever we go.

Speaker 1 Did you guys see the video of the tallest woman on earth and the smallest woman or person on earth? I'm not sure if it was women.

Speaker 1 Meeting each other? Yeah, I have. I saw that video.
Yeah. It's cool.
Yeah, that was. And they met each other accidentally.

Speaker 1 It was at at a 7-Eleven at a gorilla show. Yeah, they were they were reaching for the same schlurpee cup.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 I said schlurpee.

Speaker 1 I like to put a little shh in there, and that's my business. All right, you know, stop.
You guys are like a jury constantly stopping me from we learned it from you, dad.

Speaker 1 Um, Micah, uh, you guys, so Robert sounds like a nice guy. Is he nice to you? That's the important thing.
Good. He's super nice to me.

Speaker 1 Tonight, he was like, I know you're a bit nervous, so go take a nap. I'll cook dinner for you he poured me a glass of sake

Speaker 1 uh he made me a tea wow super nice i'm borrowing his laptop that's i i wish i was in a relationship with robert i know he sounds pretty good yeah um and he's pretty good yeah

Speaker 1 introducing the latest innovative bidet from luxe bidet

Speaker 1 whiffed bidet the first bidet that thinks ahead oh my god the bidets are thinking. Wow.

Speaker 1 I knew this would happen.

Speaker 1 This is a sci-fi.

Speaker 1 The bidet comes to you. I think it's time.

Speaker 1 Not just now. Oh, no, I saw what you ate.

Speaker 1 Wiff Bidet from Lux Bidet is the only bidet with a built-in deodorizer that sprays a fragrant mist

Speaker 1 directly into your toilet bowl. Stopping foul odors before they happen.
I went to college.

Speaker 1 With one press of a button, Wiff Bidet miss the bowl with a scent shield that buys you both time and dignity.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dignity I've lost reading this ad.

Speaker 1 It says, talk about your experience with Lux Bidets. Well, my experience is being forced to talk about Lux Bidets.

Speaker 1 You're a big fan of the bidet. Of course.
And you too. You have one.
It's great. You have one.
Well, now it's thinking.

Speaker 1 Does it ever text you at work? Don't use a toilet without me. Don't betray me.

Speaker 1 Does your bidet know when you've used a regular toilet at work? And you come home? Who is she?

Speaker 1 Grab yours. Yeah, grab yours.
Or you know what? It'll come to you. Buy me.
How did you get my number? We know where you live.

Speaker 1 Grab yours at luxbidet.com and get 20% off with code CONAN. Oh my lord.
Lux Bidet, the better way to go.

Speaker 1 With the U.S. Bank Split World MasterCard, all purchases are automatically divided into three payments and placed in a payment plan to be paid back over three months.
That's a nice little buffer zone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If you're looking for additional flexibility, you can extend your plan to six or 12 months with equal monthly payments for a low monthly fee.

Speaker 1 So whether it's concert tickets, a new sofa, or an unexpected vet bill, pay later on every purchase. with the U.S.
Bank Split Card. Why do they always say an unexpected vet bill?

Speaker 1 There are expected vet bills. Well, I got my golden retriever a facelift.
We talked about it for a year.

Speaker 1 He was very unhappy. He wasn't doing well on social media.
So we had a little to nip and tuck. Yeah, it was a good time.

Speaker 1 No, I've never had that. It was a good time.
I never did that.

Speaker 1 Animals never had facelifts in my home. That's one thing where I will draw the line.
No facelifts for dogs in my home. Cats, on the other hand, need all the help they can get.
I lost my mind.

Speaker 1 Learn more at usbank.com slash split card. The creditor and issuer of this card is U.S.
Bank National Association, pursuant to a license from MasterCard International Incorporated.

Speaker 1 Some restrictions may apply.

Speaker 1 Macy's has a new parade this year, a parade of deals.

Speaker 1 So if you're standing on the street waiting for that parade to go by, because you took this literally, you're going to be wasting your time. Wake up, kids.
It's a parade. Where is it?

Speaker 1 A parade of deals. What?

Speaker 1 Kid crying. Every day from now through November 27th, Macy's is featuring a new must-have deal that will last only one day.

Speaker 1 We're talking about daily deals on things you'll love, like a super cozy UG fluff throw. Hey, try and say that.
Even if you say it slowly, you'll probably mess it up. Ugh fluff throw.

Speaker 1 An upgraded Dyson vacuum. That's nice.
And some of your favorite frequencies, hair products, jewelry too. Oh, and don't forget Black Friday deals start November 10th.

Speaker 1 So remember, this isn't a real parade. It's a parade of deals.
I was fooled. Don't bring a balloon and get all excited.
Your daily thrill starts now. Shop now at Macy's.com or in store.

Speaker 1 This is an ad by BetterHelp. It's that time of year.
Holidays are upon us. I think it's a good idea to reach out to people.
Yeah. You know, we've talked about this.

Speaker 1 It's good to try and just keep in touch with friends, family. As the seasons change, shorter days don't have to weigh you down.

Speaker 1 This season, BetterHelp, encourages you to reach out, check in on friends, reconnect with loved ones, and remind them that you're here. So it could help you.
It could help the person you're calling.

Speaker 1 You never know.

Speaker 1 Just like it takes just a little courage to send that text to grab coffee with someone you haven't seen in a while, reaching out for therapy can feel difficult too, but it can really be worth it.

Speaker 1 It can leave people wondering, why didn't I do this sooner? With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp is one of the leading online therapy platforms. BetterHelp therapists are fully qualified.

Speaker 1 BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. And that's a huge deal.
You don't have the burden of trying to figure out who's the right person.

Speaker 1 They'll give it a shot. And if it doesn't work, you can switch very easily.
This month, don't wait to reach out.

Speaker 1 Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist, BetterHelp makes it easier to take the first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/slash Conan.

Speaker 1 That's better, H-E-L-P.com/slash Conan.

Speaker 1 Do you think the three of us would get along if we hung out? Because I intend to, to, you know, hang out with you guys at some point.

Speaker 1 Weird. I think you sound weird to you, but it's Europe, so I know things can get weird.

Speaker 1 I think the language barrier might be coming over.

Speaker 1 Does Robert speak English? Yes, he does.

Speaker 1 But he hasn't listened to you guys' podcasts. He hasn't.
And I'm quite disappointed. He won't listen to you.

Speaker 1 He hasn't, or he refuses to listen.

Speaker 1 You can be honest now. It's okay.
This is a safe space. Are you sure? Well, oh no, I'm not.

Speaker 1 And it's not really a safe space. It never happens.
I'll take the risk. Yeah, take the risk.

Speaker 1 For up until now, he won't. But maybe

Speaker 1 I think he can be convinced. He won't.
So he won't. He won't.
He's defiantly saying, I will not listen to that podcast. It's a choice.
Yes. It's your active choice.
It's a choice.

Speaker 1 Well, is it because of Conan or because of one of us? Well, it's not because of you guys.

Speaker 1 It's because he doesn't know who I am.

Speaker 1 Conan doesn't know who I'm talking to again. It's okay.
It's quite clear. You know what? Micah, I'm a mature adult, and I can handle that.
Someone is not a fan of mine, and I'm deducing.

Speaker 1 I know you take it as a challenge. No, I do not.

Speaker 1 I like this guy, Robert. He clearly has excellent taste

Speaker 1 in choosing you.

Speaker 1 And so I

Speaker 1 respect his opinion, and I deduce that he is not a fan of my kind of comedy.

Speaker 1 Is that the case? You can just say yes or no.

Speaker 1 I declare the fifth. Yeah.
Well, I didn't realize you guys had the American Constitution.

Speaker 1 You can't use our Constitution. You're in Amsterdam.
You didn't mean anything to you. You can keep your fucking hands off our Constitution.
We barely can keep it under control here in America.

Speaker 1 And suddenly, oh, I know what the problem is. You guys have it.

Speaker 1 I know why our system's breaking down. down.
Our constitution's in Amsterdam.

Speaker 1 Micah, he's not a fan. Just say it.
It's okay. He's not a fan.
I'm so sorry. He's not a fan, but I feel bad because I think you're so nice.
Nice. I sincerely think.

Speaker 1 I mean, I am nice, but I consider myself a great comedic talent.

Speaker 1 Now, what is it he's... Oh, okay.
Sorry. Sorry, it's not about personality.
It's about your tenant. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So, what are we left with? What is it? I'm going to, I shouldn't, but I'm going to dig deeper. What is it about my comedy that Robert does not enjoy? You can just say.
It's goofy.

Speaker 1 Can you let her answer the question, please? You're leading the way.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Exaggerating. Maybe give me a multiple choice answer.
No, no,

Speaker 1 I'd like to get to the truth. I really would like to get to the truth.
No, okay. I'll be completely honest with you.
I have discussed it today as well because, you know, it's...

Speaker 1 You need to be talking to me and it's just a big message.

Speaker 1 Why do I want to meet, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he just thinks it's too much. It's too much.
I'm a little much. You're trying too much.
Trying too much.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He likes

Speaker 1 probably more of like a quiet. He wants more naughty.

Speaker 1 I asked him the word, he said naughty. Naughty.
He likes naughty. But I think you're super respectful, and I think that's where...

Speaker 1 You know? But I think what he's saying is he thinks that maybe I'm too hyper at times.

Speaker 1 My energy is too much. Maybe a neediness comes across, and he probably likes a quieter kind of jop-tati kind of comedy.

Speaker 1 I think if you take this attitude, you will be perfect. Yeah, he likes

Speaker 1 something like this, which is

Speaker 1 quieter and more relaxed, and much less funny.

Speaker 1 This is just not funny at all. He just likes non-funny comedy.
Yeah, I think the problems with Robert.

Speaker 1 I think so too. I mean, for the rest, he's great.
This is just something we don't ban over. Yeah.
Well listen.

Speaker 1 And to be honest, I put up an Instagram post for like friends like asking like who of who of my friends is listening to Conan O'Brien

Speaker 1 needs a friend.

Speaker 1 And no one replied.

Speaker 1 Wow. But maybe I don't have many friends.
I mean

Speaker 1 I answered. Micah,

Speaker 1 can I tell you what's happened from my perspective, Micah? Micah, let me tell you what's happened from my perspective.

Speaker 1 I just think you need better PR in the Netherlands that's just what I think

Speaker 1 maybe you're not reaching beyond you know you need to

Speaker 1 I think I've been lured into a trap by a very beautiful woman this is how it feels like to me that there's this extraordinarily beautiful professional model named Micah who's charming and and lovely and she's a fan of mine and she's talking to me and the whole time she's leading me down an alley and when we get to the end of the alley she tells me my boyfriend uh loathes you

Speaker 1 That's a honey trap for your humility. My friends have never heard of you.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 everyone I know,

Speaker 1 everyone I know finds you disgusting and loathsome. You're like the creature.
I've got

Speaker 1 the creature at the end of the substance.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 And you tricked me. You tricked me.
You said,

Speaker 1 let's get on this Amsterdam bicycle built for two and take a nice ride. Oh, no.
What's happening? Oh, no. no, poor Conan.

Speaker 1 Let's throw you in the canal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I'm talking to you.

Speaker 1 Is that not enough for you? Nope.

Speaker 1 Okay, now you hurt my feelings. No, you're, I love you.
No, you did. I love you.
You did. No, no, I did not.
I did not. Yeah, you did.
I did not, Micah. I know your feelings about it.

Speaker 1 You're very direct. You should know that.
You,

Speaker 1 I can take it. I can take it.
I'm not for everyone. I understand that.
And

Speaker 1 I do, you know, I paint what I see. I am who I am, as Popeye said, a great Nordic figure.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I mean, you're hosting the Oscars, Neg. You're fine.
You're fine with Ed Robert. Oh, yeah.
No one judges anyone on that job.

Speaker 1 That's going to be all of Amsterdam saying, sucked.

Speaker 1 We don't even watch.

Speaker 1 Nice. I am kidding.
I am so sorry. I'm kidding.
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 Hey, listen, I'm not Joe Oscar either.

Speaker 1 You know, take it easy. I don't work for the Academy.
You know, it's a job. I'm getting 200 bucks.
I'll do it.

Speaker 1 Congrats.

Speaker 1 Micah,

Speaker 1 I do think, how would I win over Robert? I know this is insane because I've won you over, and that should be enough for me because, again, you're extraordinary. There's a light coming off of you.

Speaker 1 You're a Renaissance painting, yet still

Speaker 1 I'm obsessive, compulsive about now.

Speaker 1 Robert is going to be the one I wake up thinking about and his disapproving face glaring at me three inches below my own face.

Speaker 1 Three inches below my own face. Yeah, you're taller than him.
Feel good about that.

Speaker 1 Somehow it doesn't. Well, it doesn't help.
It doesn't help.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm taller than Brad Pitt. That doesn't help, you know.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm stronger than him, too. I fought him twice.

Speaker 1 I won once.

Speaker 1 What's that? You're not stronger than Brad Pitt. I am stronger than Brad Pitt.
No, you're not. If I fought Brad Pitt, I would win.
No, he would be. No, he would call a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 Get in here, security, help me. That's how he talks, too.

Speaker 1 Mine? Running away. Yeah.
No, my hands become like hoses. They're just, they're like whips.
They whip. It's a whipping motion.

Speaker 1 You got me off track.

Speaker 1 It's a slapping. I'm a slap fighter.
I slap, I pinch, and I bite. I get on the floor, get my back on the floor so that I'm protected, and I kick and I bite and I scratch.

Speaker 1 Where you pull someone over you, right? No, I don't do that. That would hurt my back.

Speaker 1 Micah, I'm sorry. You and I have a strange chemistry, and yet I've never been more in love.

Speaker 1 And I say that knowing I've been happily married now for quite a long time. Yes, but that marriage is over.
I think it's you and I now. I think Robert is not

Speaker 1 going to be very appreciative of the comment you've just made. Yeah.
Oh, oh, I'm really scared of Robert.

Speaker 1 Oh, boy, Robert.

Speaker 1 Oh, Robert doesn't like. I mean, listen,

Speaker 1 I'll handle Robert. Don't you worry about that.
But I think it's you and I now

Speaker 1 together. We're going to let Robert.
What's that? What are you going to do to Robert? I'm going to overwhelm him with my high-energy comedy.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be so energetic, and he's going to be so put off by it that he's going to run away.

Speaker 1 I think that would work.

Speaker 1 My comedy would drive Robert away from your relationship. That's how bad my comedy is.
This is incredible.

Speaker 1 This is a massacre. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 She didn't even need to tell you she posted on Instagram and none of her comments. You know, you didn't need to.
She did.

Speaker 1 You didn't need to mention that.

Speaker 1 You know, oh, and Conan, one other thing. I went to an orphanage.
No, no, no. Where the children don't have parents.
And I said, does anyone want a parent? And they all said, yes, please.

Speaker 1 And then I said, it will be Conan Rebyn. And they said, no,

Speaker 1 we'll live our lives alone with no money and food. Did you know that, Conan?

Speaker 1 I think, again, now it's a cultural difference. I was trying to help you.

Speaker 1 You need more fans in Amsterdam or in the Netherlands. And

Speaker 1 I don't know, maybe there's

Speaker 1 some people that can help you with that. I'm considered a god in Finland.
Did you know that? Finland. The Finns, Lord.
Great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1 I'm happy for you.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Micah, you're a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 You really are.

Speaker 1 All joking aside, you are a lot of fun and very funny. I do feel bad.
No, because

Speaker 1 I am very appreciative of your podcast. It has helped me through dark and fun times.
Yeah. Well.

Speaker 1 Dark and fun times?

Speaker 1 I'm glad I was there to help you through fun times.

Speaker 1 I'm having so much fun.

Speaker 1 I I don't know how I'm going to make it.

Speaker 1 Conan will balance things out. Let me listen to something that will bring me down.

Speaker 1 I need a downer.

Speaker 1 You're making fun of your one Dutch fan.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Listen on to her. Micah.

Speaker 1 Micah, you are my one Dutch fan. Okay.
Yeah. And I'm loving you.
You need to be nice to me. I know.
I know.

Speaker 1 Unless it's complicated because I know you have feelings for me.

Speaker 1 I can tell. It's probably the only reason you reached out.
Robert, if he exists, I don't think he does. I think that's made up.

Speaker 1 I mean, there couldn't be a guy who doesn't like Conan.

Speaker 1 It's not possible. Oh, well,

Speaker 1 our lines are lighting up.

Speaker 1 Shouldn't you do like a spin-off? Like, Conan O'Brien needs or is looking for a whatever, like a hater? I don't know. Oh, oh, a hater.
I mean, instead of a fan.

Speaker 1 Well, that's what this.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 that's your purpose. You called in as a fan to quickly reveal.
I'm not sure I'm a fan. To quickly reveal your most important relationships with a hater.
And then to talk mostly about it.

Speaker 1 You're a hater. Please.
Yes, we did.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I.

Speaker 1 Where is he now, this Robert? Is he there? He's upstairs. Yeah, I bet.

Speaker 1 I just want to see him. No, I don't want to see him.
What if he's so buffed? I know and handsome. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's really handsome, isn't he? I bet he's really handsome. He is a.
He is.

Speaker 1 I'm not respawning fast enough. I feel like that took me to a peg.
Oh, now you're taking him down a peg. I love this.
Wow.

Speaker 1 But maybe this is my character for. I do apologize.

Speaker 1 No, but he is handsome, but in

Speaker 1 a particular way. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's very.

Speaker 1 He's almost too beautiful to even describe.

Speaker 1 No, but he is like 3% Neanderthalerblot. I don't know what that means, but I feel like you can see it somehow in his face.
Like he's very... Did you say Neanderthal?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did. Does he have the ability to make stone tools?

Speaker 1 Is he envious of your use of fire to cook meat? No!

Speaker 1 I'm more practical than him, and I don't think I have Neanderthaler blood.

Speaker 1 I didn't see this part of the conversation coming at all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's no way if you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he's. Do you know the percentage thing? Yeah.
So he's part Neanderthal. Well, good luck with that.

Speaker 1 Micah,

Speaker 1 you chose well.

Speaker 1 It's a good ad for Bumble. He chopped all this wood.

Speaker 1 He's constantly pulling your apartment apart so he can burn it to cook Mastodon.

Speaker 1 Micah, I want us to be friends

Speaker 1 because I really.

Speaker 1 I mean, we are, first of all, we're height compatible.

Speaker 1 I think both of us, I am, you know, you are a supermodel

Speaker 1 in your world. I think as men go, I'm considered quite, fill that in later.
And then

Speaker 1 just whatever, use AI.

Speaker 1 Delusional. Delusional.

Speaker 1 But Micah, it's been really nice talking to you. And if our paths cross someday, I know we're going to get to the bottom of this very strange relationship we have.

Speaker 1 And it is a relationship, it's a three-way relationship now. It's you, it's Robert, and it's myself.
And this has to be resolved somehow. I don't, you know, we have to figure this out.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's a long time.
And we'll buy a houseboat together.

Speaker 1 I've heard this come on before. I've had other people offer to buy a houseboat with me in Amsterdam, and I was tricked.
And I know you're secretly talking to Flea. Maybe you need a local

Speaker 1 to help you out with this situation. Yes.
Yes. Well, Micah, do you have a question for me before we go? Because sometimes.
I don't think so. I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, we've gone on too long, I think. Okay.

Speaker 1 I can't, and it probably can't take any more punishment. The question is probably something like, you know,

Speaker 1 does your face hurt? Because it's killing me. It would have been nice.

Speaker 1 Micah, I really like talking to you. You're very funny and you're very cool.
And

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for you. And guess what? For Robert.
I think he probably has very good taste taste in comedy. He's a wise man.
So listen to him. Okay? I hope he'll listen to this.
Well, his choice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. You take care.
Thank you so much. Nice talking to you.
Nice talking to you, too. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonoma Movesian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leo.

Speaker 1 Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

Speaker 1 Supervising producer Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples.
Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.

Speaker 1 You'll get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at seriousxm.com/slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.

Speaker 1 I won't let my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis symptoms define me.

Speaker 2 Emerge as you. In two clinical studies, trimphaya gooselcumab, taken by injection, provided 90% clear skin at 16 weeks in 7 out of 10 adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis.

Speaker 2 In a study, nearly 7 out of 10 patients with 90% clearer skin at 16 weeks were still clear at 5 years. At one year and thereafter, patients and healthcare providers knew that trimphaya was being used.

Speaker 2 This may have increased results. Results may vary.

Speaker 1 Serious allergic reactions may occur. Trymphia may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them.

Speaker 1 Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis.

Speaker 1 Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms of infection, including fever, sweats, chills, muscle aches, or cough. Tell your doctor if you had a vaccine or plan to.

Speaker 2 Emerge as you. Learn more about Tremphaya, including important safety information at tremphaya.com or call 1-877-578-3527.
See our ad in Food and Wine Magazine.

Speaker 2 For patients prescribed tremphaya, cost support may be available.

Speaker 1 Traveling is better with T-Mobile with coverage and perks you won't find just anywhere. Like free in-flight Wi-Fi and up to 40% off select hotels.

Speaker 1 And when you land, you've got unlimited texting and data in over 215 countries and destinations. It's better over here.
See how at t-mobile.com slash travel.

Speaker 1 Qualifying plan required Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. flights and airlines unlimited at up to 256 kilobits per second.
See T-Mobile.com for details.