Conan Recaps the Oscars with Mike Sweeney

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Speaker 2 Hey, Conan O'Brien here. Usually in this slot, we air a fan interaction episode, but we're not going to do that.

Speaker 2 We've had a lot of requests out there from people to talk about my recent experience hosting the Oscars. It is

Speaker 2 only been about a week by the time this airs, a week or so, week and a half since I hosted the Oscars. We're taping this a bit earlier, several days after the show aired.

Speaker 2 So it's still fresh in our minds. And I am joined to go over this experience with my head writer of many, many, many years, some say too many years.
Too many.

Speaker 2 Mike Sweeney. Mike Sweeney has been with me almost since the very beginning of my late night show.
He waited a little bit to see if it would survive or not.

Speaker 2 And then, when he saw that, you know, it was probably going to make it, he came aboard. So, he is a coward.

Speaker 2 But Mike Sweeney. He should have led with the coward party.
Yeah, Mike Sweeney came, has been with me for a long time.

Speaker 2 330 years. 30 years.
11 of them quite pleasant.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 we worked together on the Oscars along with Jeff Ross. And Mike Sweeney led the creative team.
And

Speaker 2 people seemed very happy with how it went. I had a blast doing it.
And one of the reasons I think I was able to enjoy myself so much is I knew I had, we worked very hard to get material that we liked.

Speaker 2 And I think the call came in from the Oscars in late November. It was the day after we got back from Spain.
Yeah, shooting a

Speaker 2 travel episode in Spain. And I got a call and I called you.

Speaker 2 And I said,

Speaker 2 I'll do it, but you got to be on board.

Speaker 2 I just laughed really hard. You laughed really hard for a long time.
When you said,

Speaker 2 I just got a call, they said, would you want to host the Oscars?

Speaker 2 Why were you laughing?

Speaker 2 Because the timing of it. We were just coming back.

Speaker 2 You got really sick in Spain, along with a few other people. And also,

Speaker 2 it just seemed random out of left.

Speaker 2 Like not

Speaker 2 on our brain. It was not on our radar.
Not on the radar. It was as if I had.

Speaker 2 It was as if I had got a call that said, we want you to be the new Miss America. Right, exactly.
It was that random and from left field. I would have laughed less.
So

Speaker 2 I said yes. And then we quickly had to go and tape.
HBO Max very kindly said, okay,

Speaker 2 you're supposed to finish this travel season. So yes, go host the Oscars, but can you knock this other travel show off very quickly?

Speaker 2 Squeeze it in quickly. So we immediately dashed to Austria

Speaker 2 and we're shooting a show in Austria when I get the call that my father had passed away. So I rush home.
And then while I'm home,

Speaker 2 I see that my mom is going too. And she went three days later.
And

Speaker 2 that was an experience that was very intense. And

Speaker 2 a bunch of you were very kindly flew out. for that, which blew my mind.
And I still thank you for that. That means the world to me.
Of course.

Speaker 2 Eduardo Eduardo and no show

Speaker 2 it was duly noted Eduardo yeah I called for you with the eulogy

Speaker 2 I said and of course Eduardo Eduardo right Eduardo I'm so sorry yeah Eduardo sure sure whatever

Speaker 2 the funeral is not properly mic'd yeah he didn't

Speaker 2 Well, I'm glad you can laugh at my parents' death.

Speaker 2 No, no, I'm kidding. I'm laughing too.
And they would have wanted that. Who knows? No, I don't think so.

Speaker 2 You know, while you were gone, you left Austria and we had to stay there another few days. Oh, I'm so sorry.
That must have been tough for you. Well, yeah, we had to go on to Vienna.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I had to go on Jules.

Speaker 2 I had to go mourn my parents while you guys went to Vienna and shot B-roll

Speaker 2 and drank schnapps. Yeah.

Speaker 2 John, just so you understand, it wasn't just you that had a difficult

Speaker 2 journey. Exactly.
So then the van was kind of crap. But we shot, we were like, what do we do? So we,

Speaker 2 I don't even know if we talked to you about this. We shot something with Jordan

Speaker 2 that I've not even seen. Yeah.
That you haven't seen. Yo, I'm cutting it without even seeing it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So then there's a real role here because that rolled right into

Speaker 2 right into Christmas, felt like days after, which rolled right into January, which rolled right into the fires.

Speaker 2 I've been living in a hotel since then. Right.
And so I remembered us noticing that the Oscars are getting closer and closer.

Speaker 2 And because of all this madness, we haven't been able to get together in a room and get going.

Speaker 2 And so

Speaker 2 you were instrumental in putting together.

Speaker 2 I mean, some of the names were obvious because it's people you and I had worked with for a long time. But I think we put together a murderer's row of writers.
Amazing. Amazing writers.

Speaker 2 We just laughed. I missed being in a room with this crew.
Oh, Oh, man. And we all stumbled downstairs

Speaker 2 in this building. It's a big conference room there.
And we just would laugh. And

Speaker 2 I would come in, and it was therapy for me because I would come in. And

Speaker 2 anyone who knows me knows that

Speaker 2 I'm like a fish in water, in tropical water, when I'm in a writer's room.

Speaker 2 I'm just so happy to be around writers and to be joking around, usually riffing on things that could never make it into an Oscar show. And there was plenty of that.
Yes.

Speaker 2 And that was a good shorthand to bring this crew back that had already written for you.

Speaker 2 Yes, they knew my style. And also just goofing around.
Like, you know, it was just an instant.

Speaker 2 Brian Kiley,

Speaker 2 Matt O'Brien, Laurie Kilmartin,

Speaker 2 Dan Cronin. Dan Cronin.
Jesse Gaskell and Jose Arroyo, who also work on the travel shows.

Speaker 2 Skylar Higley. Yep.
And did we mention Brian Kiley? Oh, and by the way, yes, twice. Brian Kiley was also the same.
And then also Brian Kiley.

Speaker 2 Kylie Kama. Oh, and Scott Gairdner came in to help shoot some of the amazing.

Speaker 2 He's amazing, and he helped give a great look to some of the things that we wrote. Scott Gairdner was a writer, yeah, on the TV.

Speaker 2 Josh Comer's fantastic. Did we mention Kylie Comers? Brian Kiley.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 But also.

Speaker 2 Berkeley Johnson. Berkeley Johnson.

Speaker 2 And you should see Berkeley's Johnson. It's a joke I've been doing for 15 years, and it's always better.

Speaker 2 I was,

Speaker 2 it's so satisfying, but we have to tell this story.

Speaker 2 Skylar Higley wrote the

Speaker 2 Drake joke. Halftime joke.
The halftime.

Speaker 2 Halfway through the Oscars. Halfway through the Oscars, which means it's time for Kendrick Lamar to come out and call Drake a pedophile.
And he wrote that joke. And

Speaker 2 today I was,

Speaker 2 I mean, this has happened to me a couple of times, but I walked to some store this morning to get a cup of coffee.

Speaker 2 And this young black gentleman came up to me and went, Corner, I got to ask you, did you write that

Speaker 2 joke about Drake? And I said, I did not. That is the handiwork of Skylar Higley.
And I got to give it up.

Speaker 2 I'm not that well versed in the rap battles.

Speaker 2 But I got major props from this gentleman. Excellent.
And, uh, but

Speaker 2 we

Speaker 2 started working and then just generating ideas.

Speaker 2 And it's the same, it's the same thing we've done back when we would do Emmy shows or any kind of Comic-Con shows, which is just generate thousands of ideas and throw most of them out.

Speaker 2 We had so many ideas that like you can't get too attached to any idea because

Speaker 2 you just know that things are going to get cut.

Speaker 2 For example, we had a a whole big

Speaker 2 cold open

Speaker 2 that we loved.

Speaker 2 It was not the substance cold open that we ended up going. It was a different one, and it was basically hammered out before

Speaker 2 the fires, the idea of it before the fires happened. And then even after that, we kind of honed it.
And it would have been like three or four minutes long. And it was you

Speaker 2 starting out in Wicked. So you're in a state of mind.

Speaker 2 Well, it was the idea that I'm going to, oh, Conan's now going to goof on all the movies.

Speaker 2 And so it starts with me, and I'm all green in Wicked, finishing Defying Gravity, or one of those songs.

Speaker 2 And I finish it, and then you see you cut to the next thing, which is Gladiator, and clang, clang, clang with swords. And then you see that I'm a gladiator, but then you notice that I'm still green.

Speaker 2 And then you go on to

Speaker 2 Conclave, and you see people voting with their ballots, and then one of the hands is still green.

Speaker 2 And then you cut to me and Dune, and

Speaker 2 one of the characters, Javier Bardem is saying, I can't hear you because I all wear those masks in the sand. Take it off, take it off.
And I finally take it, what's your problem, man?

Speaker 2 And I take it off and I'm green. And he's like, what the hell, man? Did you start?

Speaker 2 this with wicked and I went yeah we and this stuff doesn't come off and the whole thing is that the die wouldn't come off and we had to shoot it all in one day and it was kind of a conceptual idea which we were but we thought oh this is we can carry this through the whole thing where then all the characters in every movie that I've inhabited are laughing at me and giving me a hard time because I started out as green.

Speaker 2 Including Nosferatu. They're all

Speaker 2 piling on me. Like, you don't start with green.
Everyone knows that stuff doesn't.

Speaker 2 Everyone knows that stuff doesn't come off.

Speaker 2 You shoot the wicked at the end. I know, but we had one day and no one told me.
That's a good Bill Scarsberg. Thank you.
So we thought,

Speaker 2 so we thought that that was

Speaker 2 really like, oh, yeah, this is the idea.

Speaker 2 And then we realized this is so complicated to shoot, and it takes so many different setups and started to kind of fall out of.

Speaker 2 Well, it was more, but also then the Oscars said we're opening because of the fires with this big

Speaker 2 musical tribute. And that we were like, wait, you can't go.
You have a five-minute musical tribute and then go into a five- or four-minute tribute. So we needed something quick.

Speaker 2 We needed needed something quick.

Speaker 2 I was obsessed,

Speaker 2 always obsessed with coming out of Demi Moore's back. Right.
Since I was a child. No.

Speaker 2 I just, I mean, that visual of my hair coming out of my head was something I was obsessed with, and that ended up being

Speaker 2 good. But it's one of the things you learn, which is that you constantly, it's not just, it's with monologue jokes and it's also with bits.
And this is, this is more about the process.

Speaker 2 Don't fall in love with anything because also the times times change. You know, if something is eight weeks out or nine weeks out, what's funny now isn't the story four weeks later.

Speaker 2 So so many of the narratives kept changing with the Oscars race that, and things would seem funny now, but then not later.

Speaker 2 And then we got a lot of clarity because I started going out to different clubs

Speaker 2 and doing jokes and I could see which ones

Speaker 2 consistently work well. That was incredibly helpful.
And I think also just, you know, for just confidence in that, oh no, these

Speaker 2 jokes are good.

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Speaker 2 I never had a football. Where would you find the pig? Oh, yeah.
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Speaker 2 The audiences were very nice because I would go out and say, I mean, I know Nikki Glazer does this as well, but it's a very good tool to go out and try things out with an audience.

Speaker 2 But I would say, please don't record this. And they wouldn't,

Speaker 2 which was really nice because all they'd have someone would have to do is put that online and you're completely screwed.

Speaker 2 Well, the other landmine, which I didn't think about, I wasn't really aware of, is like I've heard the term award season, but it never, I was like, well, award season.

Speaker 2 There was a different award show. So once we were going to go to a club and they're like, oh, sure, you're going after so-and-so who's hosting the D, you know, Judd Appentile's hosting the DGA awards.

Speaker 2 He's going to do his monologue first. And you're just like, wow, there's

Speaker 2 a word show. We can't even be there when he does his because we don't want to hear something like we can't be influenced.
We don't, we want to make sure there's no overlap.

Speaker 2 So you get into this thing where then you say, okay, that show's over. I know, but

Speaker 2 this, this comics out hosting the Spirit Awards.

Speaker 2 And they're doing the circuit and trying jokes about. So you have to wait till,

Speaker 2 and if anyone does any joke, you can't do that joke then. Obviously, it's gone.
So we had a couple of areas. Where we're just like, ah, no, we can't do that.
We can't.

Speaker 2 It's gone now because someone else did it. So the whole thing was fascinating, but I have to say the real education, the real behind-the-scenes education was, you know, the Academy of Motion Pictures.

Speaker 2 They are very serious about certain things.

Speaker 2 And we had this real lesson in,

Speaker 2 and again, I don't fault them. I'm just, this is what they do.

Speaker 2 The Oscar, the Oscar, the image of Oscar is very important to them. And there'd be times where we'd be shooting bits to promote the Oscars.
Promos.

Speaker 2 to run on ABCs. Promos to run on ABC or to go on the internet that would, you know, promote the Oscar.
And I remember there was a giant Oscar statue, and I shot something with it. It was really fun.

Speaker 2 And at one point, I said, it would be really funny. It was about Oscar and I, the Oscar and I sharing an apartment, and we don't get along.
Our marriage is crumbling. And this was actually out there.

Speaker 2 They ended up releasing it, and I thought it came out pretty well. But it's just a nine-foot Oscar and I bickering.
And he has, of course, the Oscar's not doing anything.

Speaker 2 It's just standing there like a statue. And I'm saying, what happened to our marriage? And we're fighting about things that couples fight about.

Speaker 2 But at one point, I thought, oh, this would be really great if the Oscar was just on the couch. Let's lay it on a really big couch.
And I'll be vacuuming and say, could you at least

Speaker 2 lift your feet? Or could you at least get up and help load the dishwasher? And we wanted to do it. And they just said, no, no, no, that can't happen.
And I was whispering.

Speaker 2 There was whispering in this big room. And then one of the people from the Academy came forward and said, Oscar can never be horizontal.

Speaker 2 And that blew my mind. Like, wow, this is like the thigh bone of St.
Peter.

Speaker 2 This is a religious icon.

Speaker 2 And we tried to put an apron when it was serving you leftovers. And they're like, no clothing on, Oscar.
Yeah, Nick, Oscar is nice. Oscar's always naked.
He's always naked, but he won't lie down.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's rules. I didn't know.
Oh, no, there's just rules. There's rules.
There's a lot of rules with Oscar. And then you realize, oh, this has been around.

Speaker 2 This award ceremony has been around since 1929. Right.
There's a lot of different

Speaker 2 sort of shorthand for what can and can't happen. But they ended up being very helpful.
I want to stress that. They

Speaker 2 let us. Everyone was great.
They were great. And the ABC people were fantastic.

Speaker 2 And the producers we worked with, Raj and Katie,

Speaker 2 they would just make anything happen. They would just anything we said, they would say, yes, let's, that sounds funny, let's make it happen.
So the day we met them, they were so nice.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, this is the classic rope-a dope. Yeah, this is a trick.

Speaker 2 The first time we asked for some, you know, and they were amazing, right? Yeah. Every step of the way.
But it's, uh,

Speaker 2 it just kept getting.

Speaker 2 My experience of it was: once I said yes, I would always wake up at three in the morning and look at the ceiling and go, What?

Speaker 2 That's a,

Speaker 2 what,

Speaker 2 what, what? I said yes to what?

Speaker 2 And then it takes about an hour and a half to get back to sleep. And that's just the deal.
That's just what it's like.

Speaker 2 I talked to a few other, some of the writers, and I was waking up at three

Speaker 2 thinking of things that either were still up in the air or that I forgot to do that day. They

Speaker 2 came to me at three in the morning and I was like, just and then I couldn't go back to sleep until this week.

Speaker 2 It was

Speaker 2 joined this week. Yeah, no,

Speaker 2 I have been, I have been, I refuse to, I mean, we finished, it's now Friday. We did, Sunday night was the show, and it's been,

Speaker 2 my wife is just,

Speaker 2 I am horizontal all the time. I'm glad I know Oscar can't be, but it doesn't like you horizontal.
Yeah, I never has.

Speaker 2 The response was really lovely. And then just, but the thing I keep going back to is, is the lighting.
The lighting is insane. It's the best lighting I've ever had.

Speaker 2 It's the best lighting I ever will have.

Speaker 2 And it's Bobby Dickinson and Noah Mintz. And they

Speaker 2 kept, they were like looking at my face and touching little dials and adjusting things during the rehearsals. And

Speaker 2 they also adjusted my face manually.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 I swear to God, I looked at myself in a monitor at one point in rehearsal and I'm like, who's that guy? It's not me.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I know online people were speculating, you know,

Speaker 2 did Conan get some work done or something? He's like, it's called lighting. It's called lighting, which, by the way, if you've checked out the podcast, this is not Oscar lighting.
That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 And also, we do these travel shows. And I'm always, my brand of comedy has always been, hey, this could be really funny.
Let's just go do it.

Speaker 2 And we shoot it with no thought towards lighting, or I'll run into a 7-Eleven and do something. It's a documentary cruise style.
It's a documentary cruise style as if it were a war zone.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I always look like

Speaker 2 a toy that a dog got a hold of and shoot up. And then suddenly I step out there and hit my mark.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I'm a 19-year-old.

Speaker 2 You looked great.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then I step

Speaker 2 out.

Speaker 2 And I step out of it.

Speaker 2 And it's like, oh, the old pumpkin's back.

Speaker 3 That's an intimidating room. To be up on that stage and looking at all those people must have been.

Speaker 2 I think it was you're in the audience.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what was it like in the audience?

Speaker 2 Were you scared for me?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I, you know, I was really.

Speaker 2 You can say it.

Speaker 3 No, I was a little nervous for you. And it was weird not to work it.
It's one of those big events that I would normally have worked.

Speaker 3 I didn't work at the event you brought tack i brought tack and we were uh sitting next to kurt russell and goldie hunt oh wow wow

Speaker 2 wow

Speaker 3 we were behind the complete ones they are so much they are so much fun yeah we were in the fourth row ariana grande and cynthia rivo were just a few rows ahead of us your seats were much better than i was said they should these are not the same

Speaker 3 i think you made a mistake i think i do i really think you made a mistake yeah um and i i just didn't move the whole time because i was like i can't someone's gonna touch in.

Speaker 2 And also, if you leave this seat, someone's going to take it from you. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And also, every time you would come up, Tac would be like, yeah, Conzy. And I'd be like, stop talking.

Speaker 3 You can't do that here. It's the awesome.

Speaker 2 Who sat behind you?

Speaker 2 Oprah. Oprah sat.

Speaker 2 Oprah.

Speaker 2 Sat in the room behind us. Better seats than Oprah.
Oprah. Yes.

Speaker 2 Oprah Winfrey had to look through your big hair to try and see who had won an Oscar. Oh, my my God.
How did that happen?

Speaker 3 So, you know, Erica Brown was there as well, who works on the show. And I was like, we have to get you to meet Oprah.
So we were following Oprah.

Speaker 2 And we have, I've introduced Erica Brown to former First Lady Michelle Obama twice. Twice, twice.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And, you know, she's from Jackson.

Speaker 2 She should count as an Oprah.

Speaker 3 Everybody back home is just like, oh, my God. And so, you know, I was like, we'll just walk by her and I'll like push you into her, you know, like, just like, well, that's a good idea.

Speaker 3 Shove you into her.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and you're telling Tac to be quiet.

Speaker 2 So, what did you do? So, what happened?

Speaker 3 She was following Oprah, and then she just disappeared. Yeah, she's and I think she went out of like a special exit, you know.

Speaker 2 Well, she has trapdoors installed

Speaker 2 before she goes, people show up and install trapdoors. Yeah, she helped design it.

Speaker 3 And it was really exciting to just be there in the audience watching you and just like hearing the jokes for the first time, you know. I mean, it was, it was awesome, it was really, really cool.

Speaker 3 And everybody around was talking about how great you were doing.

Speaker 2 It was fun. It was a lot of fun.
It was

Speaker 2 to have

Speaker 2 also

Speaker 2 an orchestra. Yeah.
You get spoiled between the lighting and an orchestra.

Speaker 2 Hi. That's the first time they put the orchestra.
That was high, right? Yeah, wasn't that a great idea? That was incredible. It wasn't cool.
It was really cool.

Speaker 2 And they had a trapdoor, an Oculus had opened to reveal the orchestra.

Speaker 2 It was very, it was neat. Yeah.
And yeah, kind of, and they had a bond tribute for no good reason other than I assume it was for you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I have some notes.

Speaker 2 Let's hear it. No.

Speaker 3 How much of this show do you have?

Speaker 2 That is the joke.

Speaker 2 That is the joke. Well, no, anything I'm doing, we wrote.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but like the rest of the

Speaker 2 they have a great, they have a very good team

Speaker 2 headed up by John

Speaker 2 Max

Speaker 2 who works on, man, he works on every award show. He's working on one right now.
I'm sure he's the Soul Train Awards. He's working on the Mark Twain Awards.

Speaker 2 I said Soul Train. Okay, but I'm just.
just, I'm a stickler for accuracy. So

Speaker 2 the Soul Twain. Yeah.
And so

Speaker 2 Zach Alphanekus did that very joke in one of the clubs I was in. Oh, sorry.
No, no, no, it's okay. It's okay.
I just want to make sure that he doesn't think we ripped him off.

Speaker 2 The,

Speaker 2 yeah, I have to say,

Speaker 2 that was a...

Speaker 2 That was a highlight, probably, in a long career. That was just so.
Oh, yeah. It was so fun.
And, and then, but I just was thinking, lighting, the lighting is amazing. There's this orchestra.

Speaker 2 Everyone in the crowd is wearing a tuxedo. And

Speaker 2 I mean, you hosted the Emmys twice.

Speaker 2 That's true. Right.
But, but, yes, this. So it's like, oh, well, okay, you know how to do that.
But then I don't know. It just, it was a different level of getting scared before something.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you get intense. You get intense.
They got very intense. That's a big gig.
Yeah. Because then you know people are watching like whatever around the world or something.
Well,

Speaker 2 I wondered. I'm like, why are you so out of your mind and waking up at 3 a.m.? And then afterwards, you're like, oh, that's why.
Because it really is highly scrutinized. What's it like backstage? Oh,

Speaker 2 that's interesting. Is it chaos? Is it controlled? No, it is a machine.

Speaker 2 My experience of it was

Speaker 2 that the way they have it set up is

Speaker 2 the winners drift off stage right

Speaker 2 and they're taken into a whole,

Speaker 2 you know, it's like a digestive system.

Speaker 2 It's like they're taken through, they're taken through the winner's walk, then they're taken right into a press, there's a quick, I think, glam shots, then they're taken into the press room, then they're going taken this way.

Speaker 2 And I'm on the other side mostly. I'm either going to center, but I'm always coming off from

Speaker 2 stage left. So I'm coming out.
to either my mark on stage left or to the center. So there's not a lot of interaction,

Speaker 2 but every now and then you'd have this amazing moment. And the one for me was I'm backstage and I'm watching the monitor because you're just watching the monitor in between.

Speaker 2 I'll go and talk to the writers and we'll think what could be a funny idea, what could be a funny thing we could say here.

Speaker 2 We were constantly trying to think of what's something that could come up, what's happening in the show and what can we comment on.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 every now and then, there's not much to do. We know which the next joke is.
It's not for 10 more minutes.

Speaker 2 So I'm sitting there, stage left, and I'm looking at my monitor, and I'm just aware of like a presence

Speaker 2 to my left.

Speaker 2 And I kind of just look over, and it's this guy,

Speaker 2 and I

Speaker 2 immediately see that it's Mick Jagger, who I've never met. Oh.
And Mick Jagger

Speaker 2 looks at me

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 He starts nudging me. And in kind of a comic American voice, he's like, Hey, hey, how's the crowd? How's the crowd? How's the crowd? How's the crowd out there? How's the crowd doing?

Speaker 2 How's the crowd doing? How are they? How are they? And I said,

Speaker 2 crowd's really good because they words. I said, it's a good crowd.
And I said, but you don't have to worry about that because you're Mick Jagger.

Speaker 2 And he went, oh, no, no. And I'm not going to try and do a Mick Jagger.
But he said, I always worry about the crowd. And I said, wait a minute.

Speaker 2 So you're with the Rolling Stones and you're in Buenos Aires and

Speaker 2 you're

Speaker 2 getting ready to come out and start the show and you're going to start off with satisfaction

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 you're anxious that the crowd isn't going to be good. And he said, oh, no, definitely.
I wear an earpiece and I listen to the crowd. And sometimes I can tell the crowd isn't quite there yet.

Speaker 2 And I have to give it a little extra up front.

Speaker 2 And I was so relieved because I realized, obviously, he's 35 levels beyond me, but nothing ever goes away.

Speaker 2 Meaning, I've had many people give me a hard time because I'm at a small gathering and I'm supposed to get up and give a toast.

Speaker 2 And Liza can tell I'm anxious and I'm getting worked up and I'm looking around the room to see, is this a good room? And she's like, it's a dinner party. What are you doing?

Speaker 2 And I'm like, it just never goes away. You're always worried about that stuff.
And to hear that Mick Jagger,

Speaker 2 who's, I believe, 81,

Speaker 2 the front man for the Rolling Stones,

Speaker 2 is asking people,

Speaker 2 asking me, how's the crowd? You think I'll be all right out there?

Speaker 2 I don't know. It's going to be touch and go for you, Mitch.

Speaker 2 Sliding. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But he, I mean, I was kind of intimidated because I didn't know what he would be like. He was incredibly nice.
He said to me at one point, oh, and by the way, we've never met. And I'm like, he?

Speaker 2 How do you know you've never met me? Isn't your life just a blur of occasionally an orange person comes by?

Speaker 2 He was lovely. He was great and funny and thoughtful.
And I had a great exchange with him. And then I knew

Speaker 2 I need to end this. Like, don't hang on too long.
So I said, well, anyway, wonderful, lovely. It was very nice to meet you too.
And I walk away, and I think Ruthie has me walking away from him.

Speaker 2 And I saw that Ruthie was filming it. And I just walk up and go, okay, that just fucking blew my mind.

Speaker 2 That's pretty crazy. Back into the tent with the riders.

Speaker 2 hey sona i heard you got a new car yeah you know david usually gives me a ride to work but i'd love it if you no no no you're not i'm sorry you're not allowed in my new car um

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Speaker 2 what are you talking about i made you you when i found you you were wandering the streets with a bucket on your head what and now you're son of obsession and you're driving around the palisade you won't give me a ride this is why I don't let you in my happy place.

Speaker 3 Because you talk about me walking around with a bucket on my head. Why would I let you into my personal oasis if this is the way you're going to talk?

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Speaker 2 were you guys in a tent we were it's kind of a black duvetteen kind of roped off area and we had monitors and we had a um you know

Speaker 2 we had the scroll of the script and so we would like after flow one brian collie had a joke about you know it's the first win for latvia yeah it's your kind of like it's your move estonia yeah and then you guys are on the fly just like

Speaker 4 what's the process of you doing that and then getting that into the teleprompter for him in time.

Speaker 2 How much time was there?

Speaker 2 There was this

Speaker 2 producer named Rachel was right in the room with us, and she really helped with the script along the way.

Speaker 2 She was great. During the show,

Speaker 2 our script guy, John Crateau, who we could not have done any of this without.

Speaker 2 He's a hero. He came out from New York just to work on the show, which was amazing because he worked the whole show.
Walked the whole way. He walked the whole way.

Speaker 2 Because we wouldn't give him a bus fare. Right.
And And he's right now only in Iowa. He's still on his way back home.

Speaker 2 But she,

Speaker 2 so we'd tell Jot, you know, okay, let's do this. And then she'd talk to the prompter person and it would come right up and he'd read it and be like, get okay, you've got 10 seconds to get out.

Speaker 2 There was one

Speaker 2 couple of times. Yeah.
There was a moment that I was happy about, which is we're.

Speaker 2 I don't know if we're backstage, but it's very just before the show. And we see

Speaker 2 Timmy Chalamet coming in. Right.
And he's wearing a bright, bright yellow

Speaker 2 covering.

Speaker 2 And he's wearing this suit that's just bright, bright. Like creamsicle.
Creamsicle yellow.

Speaker 2 And I said, well, he won't get hit driving his bike at night. And people around me were like, that's funny.

Speaker 2 And so I just kept it in my head and I walked out there and it was one of the first things I said, like, hey, it's Timmy Chalamet. Hey, you won't get hit on your bike.
And people were like, ha ha ha.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, that's not even on a prompter. But it was just kind of, it was a nice feeling to feel like it is the same thing as you can just think of something and say it.

Speaker 2 And this giant important room, if it's, if it's okay, they'll laugh at it. It doesn't not all have to come through this

Speaker 2 huge process of agony. You were very, I mean, you were very loose, you know.
I had a few pills in me. Well,

Speaker 2 whatever.

Speaker 2 They worked because you were as loose as a goose. And it,

Speaker 2 well, it was a, it was a, it was a really

Speaker 2 fun night. And

Speaker 2 I have to say

Speaker 2 lots of thanks and gratitude to ABC Academy.

Speaker 2 They really did, and the producers, Raj and Katie,

Speaker 2 they took really good care of us and they seemed to know that, yeah,

Speaker 2 this needs to be what Conan wants it to be. It's got to be in his voice.
They were very good about that.

Speaker 2 Everyone is very supportive. Michael Bearden, the conductor, the musical director.
Great, who worked out the

Speaker 2 song with me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he was great. He was a great collaborator, right? Yeah, Michael Bearden was great.
And that's a guy that worked with Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson.

Speaker 2 And I mean, the list of people he's worked with is insane. So

Speaker 2 I had huge moments of inadequacy saying, yeah, I want to sing this song. And he would sit down at the piano and

Speaker 2 start, and we'd be like making it up and thinking, I'm sure rather be working with a real musician. Right.

Speaker 2 You would transpose the key on the spot. Like, oh, okay, let's try D-flat.
Yeah, D-flat. Yeah.
It sounds like you're a D-flat. And

Speaker 2 so,

Speaker 2 but there were so many fun things like the sensibility has always been we love puppets and silliness. So we got obsessed with sandworm

Speaker 2 early on

Speaker 2 being part of the show. I kept putting off ordering it up.
I'm like, I'm like, is this,

Speaker 2 we're going to have a sandworm?

Speaker 2 First, the sandworm was sitting in the audience, and I'm like, uh,

Speaker 2 all right, a sandworm. Oh, and then there was one idea where the sandworm comes out

Speaker 2 with an envelope. And we were like, no,

Speaker 2 how are we going to get?

Speaker 2 It's not going to move.

Speaker 2 And then we realized that. And then it's going to come down upside down and talk to you.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 it's going to have lines. And so there was just, there's a whole

Speaker 2 there's a whole lifeline to these things. There's a whole evolution.
And then finally it became clear

Speaker 2 sandworm needs to be in the orchestra

Speaker 2 and needs to have gone to the Berkeley School of Music.

Speaker 2 Who played the sand worm?

Speaker 2 It was a guy who does creature

Speaker 2 acting. Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 But also, crucially, from our team,

Speaker 2 the gentleman, the artist who dresses me and who Scott Cronick, who's been with me for years,

Speaker 2 who I married. You married on television.
On television.

Speaker 2 He and his partner in New York. You officiated the wedding.
Yeah, right. You're not married.
But I also was married to a career. I love that for a while.

Speaker 2 And then Liza found out, and the whole thing went south. But it enhanced your own marriage.
Exactly.

Speaker 2 But he built the sandworm and

Speaker 2 in three days. He built it in three days.
And so it was behind the harp, but then we had different ideas for who should be behind the piano, and it wasn't quite working out.

Speaker 2 We couldn't quite figure it out. And then finally, it occurred to us the sandworm should be the person on the piano.
And then if sandworm can show up again on the harp as a callback, that happened.

Speaker 2 That happened like the day before the Oscars, we realized. I think it was the day before.

Speaker 2 We realized it was that Friday that yes, Sandworm should come out on the piano first and then show up later on on the harp because he's a multi-instrumentalist.

Speaker 2 Important.

Speaker 2 But when he came out the first time we rehearsed that song,

Speaker 2 rolled out on the piano. It was such a great reveal, such a great, oh, almost as dramatic as you coming out of Demi Moore's back.

Speaker 2 It was just like, whoa, that's a great tableau because you're singing in the foreground and there's this worm

Speaker 2 sounding away at the keys. I was like, okay.

Speaker 2 But Scott Cronick designed the costume. And then at the end of the show, before the show was even over, I think someone from the Academy said, we'd like to keep the sandworm.
Like, because

Speaker 2 they have a museum.

Speaker 2 So I don't know if it's ever going to happen, but if you go to the Academy Museum, you can see this.

Speaker 2 You can see the shark from Jaws.

Speaker 2 You can see

Speaker 2 the snow globe from Citizen Kane. Oh, there's Sandworm.
There's Sandworm from the 97th Oscars ruining the museum or dragging it all down.

Speaker 2 I heard they had to get rid of the shark from Jaws to make room for the Sandworm. The Sandworm.
It's priorities.

Speaker 2 But I think they have the right. The Sandworm ate the shark because

Speaker 2 he's above it in the food chain. We mentioned Scott Gairdner.

Speaker 2 He directed The Substance.

Speaker 2 We did an ad parody, Cinema Streams. Did a great job of that.
And then he shot our two, Jeff Bezos arriving. Jeffers are so good.
Yeah, at the Oscars. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And Matt Shar at the end. A reason I'll never get a package again.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bezos is probably like, ha ha, see to it, he never gets a package again. He's petting a white cat.
And yeah, Matt Shar, our

Speaker 2 travel show editor. Yeah, if we're just going to listen to the marketing.

Speaker 2 We were working on the travel shows during, well, like we had to come in on the weekend and edit, and I didn't even tell you because I thought you'd be like, What do you do? Why are you working?

Speaker 2 I was so enraged when people were

Speaker 2 when people would try to talk to me about the travel shows.

Speaker 2 Every now and then, Jeff Ross would say something like, So, anyway, you know, if we do end up going to Indiana, I'd be like, It's not about the Oscars!

Speaker 2 If it's not about the Oscars, I don't want to talk about it!

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I'm a real pleasant chap.

Speaker 3 You know what? Yeah, we were real pleasant leaning up. Your mind works constantly when you're focused on something.

Speaker 3 And, you know, I feel like a lot of times when you're getting your creative energy out, you're just making fun of us more than you normally would.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's gonna say that's in your head. Do you feel that way too, Matt? I felt like it was just

Speaker 3 elevated, so it was a real joy for all of us to work for you.

Speaker 2 It wasn't always easy to be around, Picasso, okay, but boy, did he fill a lot of museums with wonderful work.

Speaker 2 Two, three, four,

Speaker 2 and sword worm. Yeah,

Speaker 2 those are my muses. But also, Sweeney, weren't you,

Speaker 2 we were in Austria, and weren't you trying to then pull together this writer's room from across the world as well as

Speaker 2 during the day? You would be directing the Austrian show, and then at night, you would come back to the hotel, and then we would all chill, and you would be going and trying to pull together.

Speaker 2 I was on the phone with different writers' managers because initially it was. They were often funnier than the writers.
Yes, the managers were very,

Speaker 2 they got great ideas. They're great to chat with in Salzburg.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 that was all coming together over there. Yeah.
But then we ended up, you know,

Speaker 2 we reassembled our old team and it's the best move.

Speaker 2 They're the funniest. Yeah.
It was so much fun.

Speaker 2 It was great. Incredible.
Great to have that room. That writers.
It's good to see them all again.

Speaker 3 Yeah. What a nice reunion.
It was really, really nice to see everyone.

Speaker 2 Also, to have everything humming where there's a writer's room downstairs working on the Oscars. I'd be in there joking around.
Then I'd come up here

Speaker 2 and we would do a podcast. Abuse these people.
Abuse you guys. You're abuse people on multiple levels.
I know you really could get rooms set up just to make fun of people.

Speaker 2 People are going to get the wrong idea about me from these jokes you're making. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Anywho,

Speaker 2 can I also ask, you went on Kimmel, which is really funny. And he gave you advice to sit down.
Did you sit down by the mouth? No, not that much. No, you were on your feet the whole time.

Speaker 2 I was on my feet the whole time because I'm very hyperactive. Yeah, Jimmy's advice was sit as much as possible because it's a lot of standing and

Speaker 2 I can't sit still.

Speaker 2 And so there's footage. I mean, I got to give a shout out since you're naming everyone you've ever met.

Speaker 2 I think it's, hey, doing an amazing job.

Speaker 2 I'm going to list the people that served in the Korean War now on the American side.

Speaker 2 No, but

Speaker 2 Ruthie and Samantha, who are on the, who handle the social media, they did this. amazing thing where they were shooting video all the time, sort of day in the life video and posting it.
But there's

Speaker 2 not only am I not sitting down, but at one point I'm doing a Russian dance while the writers around me are chanting, come on in.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the show is only half over and I'm expending energy and doing that leg kick dance where I'm trying to get it.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 it's madness, absolute madness. But that's the world I like to live in.
Anyway,

Speaker 2 it was an honor. It was a a privilege.
It was a thrill. And Mike Sweeney

Speaker 2 would not have happened without this man. You guys probably do.
No, we'd have found some actors. Sure, of course.
Very quickly. So the first thing I learned about is everyone's replaceable.

Speaker 2 What's new? You better show up to work.

Speaker 3 I mean, you've hosted the Emmys. You've hosted it.

Speaker 2 You've got a 10 Grammys.

Speaker 2 No Grammys. Yeah.
Come on, Edward. You're a real fit.
What do you think? I think you're a perfect fit.

Speaker 2 I think you'd be. You're Spanish killed during the

Speaker 2 CS Verdad. Yes.

Speaker 2 And you're Hindi and you're Chinese, you're Mandarin.

Speaker 2 The key to the Mandarin was they were laughing, so they couldn't hear the Mandarin.

Speaker 2 But anyway,

Speaker 2 it was a real highlight, but it's also, man, it's nice to have that behind us.

Speaker 2 I got to say. Well, great job.
I know I haven't said that till now. No, you really nailed it.
Fantastic. Well, we can't just be patting ourselves on the back.

Speaker 2 There's work to be done. There's work to be done.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So.

Speaker 2 This man, can I talk to you about this? Can I talk about

Speaker 2 you?

Speaker 2 What you do and what you did.

Speaker 2 Now I'll be Sebastian Maniscalco. This guy, this fucking guy.

Speaker 2 This fucking guy.

Speaker 2 All right. That was our Oscars podcast, Talk Down.

Speaker 4 Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonoma Obsession, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Fross, and Nick Liao.

Speaker 4 Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

Speaker 2 Take it away, Jimmy.

Speaker 4 Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

Speaker 4 Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

Speaker 4 You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.

Speaker 4 It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at seriousxm.com/slash Conan.

Speaker 4 And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

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