Conan Recaps the Oscars with Mike Sweeney

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Hey, Conan O'Brien here. Usually in slot we uh we air a fan interaction episode but we're not going to do that we've had a lot of requests out there from people to talk about my recent experience hosting the Oscars it is um only been about a week by the time this airs a week or so week and a half since I hosted the Oscars.
We're taping this a bit earlier, several days after the show aired. So it's still fresh in our minds.
And I am joined to go over this experience with my head writer of many, many, many years. Some say too many years.
Too many. Mike Sweeney.
Mike Sweeney has been with me almost since the very beginning of my uh late night show he waited a little bit to see if it would uh survive or not and then when he saw that you know it was probably going to make it he he came aboard so he is a coward um but mike sweeney should have led with the coward yeah mike sweeneyweeney has been with me for a long time. 30 years.
30 years. 11 of them quite pleasant.
And we worked together on the Oscars along with Jeff Ross. And Mike Sweeney led the creative team.
And people seemed very happy with how it went. I had a blast doing it.
And one of the reasons I think I was able to enjoy myself so much is I knew I had. We worked very hard to get material that we liked.
And I think the call came in from the Oscars in late November. It was the day after we got back from Spain.
Yeah, shooting a travel episode in Spain. And I got a call and I called you.
I said, I'll do it, but you got to be on board. I just laughed really hard.
You laughed really hard for a long time when you said, I just got a call. They said, would you want to host the Oscars? Why were you laughing? Because the timing of it, we were so busy.
You got really sick in Spain along with a few other people. And also it just seemed random out of left.
It was not on our brain. It was not on our radar.
Not on the radar. It was as if I had got a call that said, we want you to be the new Miss America.
Right, exactly. It was that random and from left field.
I would have laughed less. So I said yes.
And then we quickly had to go and tape. HBO Max very kindly said, okay, you're supposed to finish this travel season.
So yes, go host the Oscars, but can you knock this other travel show off very quickly? Squeeze it in quickly. So we immediately dashed to Austria.
And we're shooting a show in Austria when I get the call that my father had passed away. So I rush home.
And then while I'm home, I see that my mom is going too. she went three days later and that was an experience that was very intense and a bunch of you were very kindly flew out for that which blew my mind and I still thank you for that that means the world to me of course Eduardo in no show it was duly noted Eduardo yeah I called for you during the eulogy

we all went around

I said

and of course

Eduardo me of course um eduardo in no show um it was duly noted eduardo yeah i called for you during the eulogy i said uh and of course eduardo eduardo eduardo i'm so sorry yeah eduardo sure sure whatever um the funeral is not properly miked yeah he didn't um well i'm glad you can laugh at my parents death yeah um no no I'm kidding I'm laughing too and that's they would have wanted that who knows no I don't think so you know while you were gone you left Austria and we were we had to stay there another few days oh I'm so sorry that must have been tough well yeah we had to go on to Vienna yeah one of the crown jewels I had to go mourn my parents while you guys went to Vienna and shot B-roll and drank schnapps. Yeah.
Just so you understand, it wasn't just you that had a difficult journey. Yeah, exactly.
So then... The van was kind of cramped.
But we shot... We were like, what do we do? So we...
I don't even know if we talked to you about this. We shot something with Jordan.
Yeah. That I'm not in.
That you haven't seen. Yeah.
That you haven't seen. Yeah, I'm cutting it without even seeing it.
Yeah, yeah. So then there's a real roll here because that rolled right into Christmas, felt like days after, which rolled right into January, which rolled right into the fires.
Fires. living in a hotel since then.
And so I remembered us noticing that the Oscars are getting closer and closer. And because of all this madness, we haven't been able to get together in a room and get going.
And so you were instrumental in putting together. I mean, some of the names were obvious because it's people you and i had worked with for a long time but i think we put together a murderer's row of writers amazing amazing writers we just laughed i missed being in a room with this crew oh man and we were we all stumbled downstairs in this very in this building it's a big conference room there and we just would laugh and i would come in i would come in and it was therapy for me because i would come in and uh anyone who knows me knows that i i'm like a fish in water in tropical water when i'm in a writer's room i'm just so happy to be around writers and uh to be joking around usually riffing on things that could never make it into an oscar show and there was plenty of that yes but uh and that was a good shorthand to bring this crew back that had already written for you so that yes they knew they knew my style and also just goofing around like yeah you know it was just an instant.
But I mean, we should do it. Brian Kiley, Matt O'Brien, Laurie Kilmartin.
Dan Cronin. Dan Cronin.
Jesse Gaskell and Jose Arroyo, who also work on the travel shows. Skylar Higley.
Yep. And did we mention Brian Kiley? Oh, and by the way, yes, twice.
Brian Kiley oh and by the way yes twice Brian Kiley was also and then also Brian Kiley Kylie comma oh and Scott Gerdner came in to help shoot some of the amazing he's amazing and he helped give a great look to some of the things Scott Gerdner was a writer yeah on the TBS show Josh Comers Josh Comers fantastic Did we mention Kylie? Brian Kylie. Yes.
But also... Berkeley Johnson.
Berkeley Johnson. And you should see Berkeley's Johnson.
It's a joke I've been doing for 15 years and it's always better. I was...
It's so satisfying, but we have to tell this story. Skylar Higley wrote the Drake joke.

Halftime.

The halftime joke.

We're halfway through the Oscars.

We're halfway through the Oscars,

which means it's time for Kendrick Lamar

to come out and call Drake a pedophile.

And he wrote that joke.

And today I was,

I mean, this has happened to me a couple of times, but I walked to some store this morning to get a cup of coffee. And this young black gentleman came up to me and went, Conan, I got to ask you, did you write that joke about Drake? And I said, I did not.
That is the handiwork of Skylar Higley. And I got to give it up.

I'm not that well-versed in the rap battles,

but I got major props from this gentleman.

Excellent.

But we started working and then just generating ideas and it's the same thing we've done

back when we would do Emmy shows

or any kind of Comic-Con shows, which is just generate thousands of ideas and throw most of them out.

We had so many ideas that you can't get too attached to any idea because you just know that things are going to get cut.

For example, we had a whole big cold open that we loved. It was not the substance cold open that we ended up going with.
No, it was a different one. And it was basically hammered out before the fires, the idea of it before the fires happened.
And then even after that, we kind of honed it. And it would have been like three or four minutes long and it was you yeah it'd be starting out in wicked so you're in a it was it was well it's the idea that i'm gonna oh cona's now gonna goof on all the movies yes and so it starts with me and i'm all green in wicked finishing defying gravity or one of those songs and i finish it and then you see you cut to the next thing which is gladiator and right and clang clang, clang with swords.
And then you see that I'm a gladiator, but then you notice that I'm still green. And then you go on to conclave and you see people voting with their ballots.
And then one of the hands is still green. And then you cut to me in Dune and one of the characters, Javier Bardemem is saying i can't hear you take because they all wear those masks in the sand take it off take it off and i finally take it what's your problem man and i take it off and i'm green and he's like what the hell man did you start this with wicked and i went yeah we and this stuff doesn't come off and the whole thing is that the dye wouldn't come off and we had to shoot it all in one day and it was kind of a conceptual idea, but we thought, yeah, and this stuff doesn't come off.
And the whole thing is that the dye wouldn't come off.

Right, right.

And we had to shoot it all in one day.

And it was kind of a conceptual idea, which we were,

but we thought, oh, this is,

we can carry this through the whole thing

where then all the characters in every movie

that I've inhabited are laughing at me

and giving me a hard time because I started out as green.

Including Nosferatu.

They're all piling up on you.

Nosferatu, they're all piling on me.

Like, you don't start with green.

Everyone knows that stuff doesn't, everyone knows that stuff doesn't come off. You shoot the wicked at the end.
I know, but we had one day and no one told me. That's a good Bill Skarsgård.
Thank you. So we thought that that was like, oh, yeah, this is the idea.
And then we realized this is so complicated to shoot and it takes so many different setups and started to kind of fall out of well it was more and but also then the oscars said we're opening because of the fires with this big yes that's true musical tribute and that we were like wait you you can a five-minute musical tribute and then go into a five or four-minute comedy piece? So we needed something quick. We needed something quick.
And I was obsessed, always obsessed, with coming out of Demi Moore's back. Right.
Since I was a child. No.
I just, I mean, that visual of my hair coming out of my head was something I was obsessed with. And that ended up being good.
But it's one of the things you learn, which is that you constantly, it's not just, it's with monologue jokes and it's also with bits. And this is just more about the process.
Don't fall in love with anything because also the times change. You know, if something is eight weeks out or nine weeks out, what's funny now isn't the story four weeks later.
So, so many of the narratives kept changing with the Oscars race that, and things would seem funny now, but then not later. And then we got a lot of clarity because I started going out to different clubs and doing jokes and I could see which ones consistently work well.

That was incredibly helpful.

And I think also just, you know, for just confidence in that, oh, no, these jokes are good.

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thanks Sonia sorry

that was my contribution

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wow

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That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Conan. The audiences were very nice because they would go out and say, I mean, I know Nikki Glaser does this as well, but it's a very good tool to go out and try things out with an audience.
But I would say, please don't record this. And they wouldn't.
Right, right. Which was really nice.
Because all they'd have someone have to do is put that online and you're completely screwed. Well, the other landmine, which I didn't think about, I wasn't really aware of, is like I've heard the term award season, but it never, I was like, what award season? There was a different award show.
Once we were going to go to a club and they're like, oh, sure, you're going after so-and-so who's hosting the, you know, Judd Apatow's hosting the DGA Awards. He's going to do his monologue first.
And you're just like, wow, there's so many award shows. We can't even be there when he does his because we don't want to hear something like we can't be influenced.

We want to make sure there's no overlap. So you get into this thing where then you say, OK, that show's over.
I know. But this this comics out hosting the Spirit Awards and they're doing the circuit and trying jokes about.
So you have to wait till, and if anyone does any joke, you can't do that joke then.

Obviously it's gone.

We had a couple of areas where we're just like, ah, no, we can't do that.

We can't.

It's gone now because someone else did it.

So the whole thing was fascinating, but I have to say the real education, the real behind the scenes education was you know the academy of motion pictures yes they are very serious about certain things and we had the this real lesson in and again i don't fault them i'm just this is what they do they the the oscar the oscar the image of oscar is very important to them and there'd be times where we'd be shooting bits to promote the Oscars. Promos.
Promos to run on ABC. Promos to run on ABC or to go on the internet that would promote the Oscar.
And I remember there was a giant Oscar statue and I shot something with it. It was really fun.
And at one point I said, oh, it'd be really funny. It was about Oscar and I, the Oscar and I sharing an apartment and we don't get along.
Our marriage is crumbling. And this was actually out there.
They ended up releasing it and I thought it came out pretty well. But it's just a nine foot Oscar and I bickering.
And of course, the Oscar's not doing anything. It's just standing there like a statue.
And I'm saying'm saying what happened to our marriage and we're fighting about things that couples fight about but at one point i thought oh this would be really great if the oscar was just on the couch let's lay it on a really big couch and i'll i'll be vacuuming and say could you at least lift your feet or could you at least get up and help load the dishwasher and we wanted to do it it. And they just said, no, no, no, that can't happen.

There was whispering.

There was whispering in this big room.

And then one of the people from the Academy came forward and said,

Oscar can never be horizontal.

And that blew my mind.

Like, wow, this is like the thigh bone of St. Peter.

This is a religious icon.

And we tried to put an apron when it was serving you leftovers. And they're like, no clothing on Oscar.
Yeah. Oscar's always naked.
He's naked, but he won't lie down. Yeah.
There's rules. I didn't know.
Oh, no. There's just rules.
There's a lot of rules with Oscar. And then you realize, oh, this award ceremony has been around since 1929.
Right. There's a lot of rules with Oscar.
And then you realize, oh, this has been around, this award ceremony has been around since 1929.

Right.

There's a lot of different sort of shorthand for what can and can't happen.

But they ended up being very helpful.

I want to stress that.

They let us.

Everyone was great.

They were great.

And the ABC people were fantastic.

And the producers we worked with, Raj and Katie, they would just make anything happen.

They would just, anything we said, they would say, yes, let's, that sounds funny, let's make it happen.

The day we met them, they were so nice.

I was like, oh, this is the classic.

Rope-a-dope.

Yeah.

This is a trick.

The first time we asked for something, you know, and they were amazing, right?

Yeah.

Every step of the way. But it just kept getting, my experience of it was once I said yes, I would always wake up at three in the morning and look at the ceiling and go, what? What? I said yes to what?

And then it takes about an hour and a half to get back to sleep.

And that's just the deal.

That's just what it's like.

I talked to a few others, some of the writers,

and I was waking up at 3,

thinking of things that either were still up in the air or that I forgot to do that day.

They came to me at three in the morning.

I was like, just, and then I couldn't go back to sleep until this week. It was, it was this week.
I have been, I refuse to, I mean, we finished, it's now Friday. We did, Sunday night was the show and it's been, And my wife is just, I am horizontal all the time.
I'm glad, I know Oscar can't be. She doesn't like you horizontal.
Yeah, never has. The response was really lovely.
And then just, but the thing I keep going back to is, is the the lighting is insane it's the best lighting i've ever had it's the best lighting i ever will have um and it's bobby dickinson right and noah mince and they kept they were like looking at my face and touching little dials and adjusting things during the rehearsals. And they also adjusted my face manually.
But I swear to God, I looked at myself in a monitor at one point in rehearsal and I'm like, who's that guy? It's not me. And I know online people were speculating, you know, did Conan get some work done or something? He's like, like it's called lighting it's called lighting which by the way if you've checked out the podcast this is not oscar lighting and i'm pretty good and also we do these travel shows and i'm always i'm always my brand of comedy has always been hey this this could be really funny let's just go do it right and we shoot it with no thought towards lighting or i'll run into a 7-eleven and do something documentary cruise it's a documentary cruise style as if it were a war zone right so i always look like i always look like uh you know a toy that a dog got a hold of and chewed up and then suddenly i step out there and hit my mark and I'm a 19 year old.
You looked great. And then I step out of it.
It's like, oh, the old pumpkin's back. That's an intimidating room to be up on that stage and looking at all those people must have been.
I think it was you were in the audience., what was it like in the audience? Were you scared for me? You know, I was really... You can say it.
No, I was a little nervous for you. And it was weird not to work it.
It's one of those big events that I would normally have worked. I didn't work at the event.
You brought Tack. I brought Tack.
And we were sitting next to Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawnhn oh my god wow what was that like we were behind the complete unknown cast they are so much fun yeah we were in the fourth row ariana grande and cynthia arrivo were just a few rows ahead of us your seats were much better than i was said they these are not i know i think you made a mistake i think i do i really think you made a mistake. Yeah.
And I just didn't move the whole time because I was like, I can't draw attention. And also, if you leave this seat, someone's going to take it from you.
Yeah. And also, every time you'd come up, Tack would be like, yeah, Conzie.
And I'd be like, stop talking. You can't do that here.
It's the Oscars. Who sat behind you? Oprah! Oprah sat! Oprah! That is a role behind us.
Better seats than Oprah. Oprah Winfrey had to look through your big hair to try and see who had won an Oscar.
How did that happen? Erica Brown was there as well, who works on the show. And I was like, we have to get you to meet Oprah.
So we were following her. We have I've introduced Erica Brown to former first lady Michelle Obama twice.
Twice. Twice.
Yeah. And, you know, she's from Jackson, Mississippi.
That should count as an Oprah. Everybody back home is just like, oh, my God.
And so, you know, I was like, we'll just walk by her and I'll like push you into her you know like just like that's a good idea yeah yeah and you're telling tack to be quiet so what did you do so what happened following oprah and then she just disappeared yeah she's and i think she went out of like a special exit you know well she has trap doors installed yes before she goes people show up and doors. Yeah.
She helped design it. It was really exciting to just be there in the audience watching you and just like hearing the jokes for the first time.
You know, I mean, it was it was awesome. It was really, really cool.
And everybody around was talking about how great you were doing. It was fun.
It was a lot of fun. It was to have also to have an orchestra yeah you get spoiled between the lighting and an orchestra and a high that's the first time they put the orchestra that was high right wasn't that a great idea that was incredible it was really cool they had a trap door an oculus had opened to reveal the the orchestra up on the it was very it was yeah and yeah kind of it and they had a Bond tribute for no good reason other than I assume it was for you, Matt Gourley.
I have some notes. Let's hear it.
No. How much of this show do you guys write? Oh, that is the joke.
That is the joke. Well, no.
Anything I'm doing, we wrote. Yeah.
Yeah, but like the rest of the Oscars have a different writing. No, they have a great, they have a very good team.
Right. Headed up by John Max.
John Max. Okay.
Who works on, man, he's, he worked on every award show. He's working on one right now, I'm sure.
He is, he is. The Soul Train Awards.
He's working on the Mark Twain Awards. I said Soul Train.
Okay, but I'm just, I'm a stickler for accuracy. So.
Theain yeah and so um zach galfanakis did that very joke in one of the clubs i was in oh sorry it's okay it's okay i just want to make sure that he doesn't think we ripped him off uh the um yeah i have to say the that was a that was a of all that was a highlight probably in a long career that was just so oh yeah it was so fun and and then but i just was thinking light it the lighting is amazing there's this orchestra everyone in the crowd's wearing a tuxedo and um i mean you hosted the emmys twice yeah and that's true right but but yes this so it's like oh well okay you know how to do that but then i don't know they're just it was a different level of getting scared before something you get intense you get intense it got very intense because then you know people are watching like whatever around the world or something well after i i wondered i'm like why are you so out of your mind and waking up at 3 a.m.? And then afterwards, you're like, oh, that's why, because it really is highly scrutinized. What's it like backstage? Oh, that's interesting.
Is it chaos? Is it controlled? No, it is a machine. My experience of it was that the way they have it set up is the winners drift off stage right, and they're taken into a whole, you know, it's like a digestive system.
It's like they're taken through the winner's walk, then they're taken right into a press. There's a quick, I think, glam shots.
Then they're taken into the press room. Then they're taken this way.
And I'm the other side mostly i'm either going to set but i'm always coming off from from uh stage left so i'm coming out to either my mark on stage left or to the center so there's not a lot of interaction but every now and then you'd have this amazing moment and the one for me was I'm backstage and I'm watching the monitor because you're just watching the monitor in between. I'll go and talk to the writers and we'll think what could be a funny idea.
What could be a funny thing we could say here. We were constantly trying to think of what's something that could come up, what's happening in the show and what can we comment on.
But every now and then there's not much to do we know which the next joke is it's not for 10 more minutes so i'm sitting there stage left and i'm looking at my monitor and i'm just aware of like a presence to my left and i kind of just look over and it's this guy and i i immediately see that it's Jagger and who I've never met and Mick Jagger looks at me and he starts nudging me and in kind of a comic American voice he's like hey hey how's the crowd how's the crowd how's the crowd how's the crowd out there how's the crowd doing how's the crowd doing how are they how are they and I said uh crowd crowd's really good because they were. I said, it's a good crowd.
And I said, but you don't have to worry about that because you're Mick Jagger. And he went, oh, no, no.
I'm not going to try and do a Mick Jagger. But he said, I always worry about the crowd.
And I said, wait a minute. So you're with the Rolling Stones and you're in Buenos Aires and you're getting ready to come out and start the show and you're going to start off with satisfaction.
Uh, and you're anxious that the crowd isn't going to be good. And he said, I, he said, Oh no, definitely.
I wear an earpiece and I listened to the crowd and sometimes I can tell the crowd isn't quite there yet. And I have to give it a little extra up front and I was so relieved because I realized obviously he's 35 levels beyond me but nothing ever goes away meaning I've had many people give me a hard time because I'm at a small gathering and I'm supposed to get up and give a toast and Liza can tell I'm anxious and I'm getting worked up and I'm looking around the room to see, is this a good room?

And she's like, it's a dinner party.

What are you doing?

And I'm like, it just never goes away.

You're always worried about that stuff.

And to hear that Mick Jagger, who's, I believe, 81, the front man for the Rolling Stones, is asking people, asking me, how's the crowd? You think I'll be all right out there? I don't know. It's going to be touch and go for you, Mick.
House of lighting. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. But he, I mean, I was kind of intimidated because I didn't know what he would be like.
He was incredibly nice. He said to me at one point, oh, and by the way, we've never met.
And I'm like, he, how do you know you've never met me? Isn't your life just a blur of occasionally an orange person comes by? He was lovely. He was great and funny and thoughtful.
And I had a great exchange with him and then i knew i i need to end this like don't hang on too long so i said well anyway wonderful lovely it was very nice to meet you too and i i walk away and i think ruthie has me walking away from him and i saw that ruthie was filming it and i just walk up and go like, okay, that just fucking blew my mind. That's pretty crazy.

Back into the tent

with the writers.

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On top of it all? On my mind splitting, try the Sonic Smasher as a double. Or why not? God forgive us all.
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Live free. Eat Sonic.
Were you guys in a tent?

We were.

It's kind of a black duveteen kind of roped off area.

And we had monitors and we had a, you know, we had the scroll of the script.

And so we would, like after Flow 1, Brian Colley had a joke about, you know, it's a first win for Latvia. Yeah.
It's your move, Estonia. Yeah.
So you guys are on the fly just like coming to things. What's the process of you doing that and then getting that into the teleprompter for him in time? How much time was there? There was this producer named Rachel was right in the room with us and she really helped with the script along the way.
She's great. During the show, our script guy, John Croteau, who we could not have done any of this without.
Yeah, he's a hero. He came out from New York just to work on the show, which was amazing because he worked on the world show.
He walked the whole way. He walked the whole way.
Because we wouldn't give him bus fare. Right, and he's right now only in Iowa.
He's still on his way back home.

But she, so we'd tell Jot, you know, okay, let's do this. And then she'd talk to the prompter person and it would come right up and he'd read it and be like, okay, you've got 10 seconds to get out of there.
There was one. A couple of times.
There was a moment that I was happy about, which is we're, I don't know if we're backstage, but it's very just before the show.

And we... A couple of times, yeah.
There was a moment that I was happy about, which is we're, I don't know if we're backstage, but it's very just before the show, and we see Timmy Chalamet coming in. Right.
And he's wearing a bright, bright yellow outfit. It was a red carpet coverage.
Red carpet coverage. And they're dressing rooms.
And he's wearing this suit that's just bright, bright. Like creamsicle.
Creamsicle yellow. And I said, well, he won't get hit driving his bike at night.
And people around me were like, that's funny. And so I just kept it in my head and I walked out there and it was one of the first things I said, like, hey, you won't get hit on your bike.
And people were like, and I'm like, that's not even on a prompter. But it was just kind of, it was a nice feeling to feel like it is the same thing as you can just think of something and say it and this giant important room if it's if it's okay they'll laugh at it it doesn't not all have to come through this this huge process of agony you were very i mean you were very loose you know i had a few pills in me well whatever they worked because you were as loose, you know.
I had a few pills in me. Well, whatever.
They worked. Yeah.
Because you were as loose as a goose. And it was perfect.
It was. It was a really fun night.
And I have to say lots of thanks and gratitude to ABC Academy. They really did.
And the producers, Rajie they they made they took really good care of us and they seem to know that yeah conan this needs to be what conan wants it to be it's got to be his in his voice they were very good about that and everyone is very supportive yeah michael bearden the the uh conductor the musical director great who worked out the uh song with with me. The song, how long was time with you? Yeah, he was great.
He was a great collaborator, right? Yeah, Michael Bearden was great. And that's a guy that worked with Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson.
I mean, the list of people he's worked with is insane. So I had huge moments of inadequacy saying, yeah, I want to sing this song.
And he would sit down at the piano and start. And and we'd be like making it up and thinking wouldn't you rather be working with a real musician right he would transpose the key on the spot like oh okay let's try d flat yeah d flat yeah it sounds like you're a d flat and um so uh but there were so many fun things like the sensibility has always been we love puppets and silliness so we got obsessed with sandworm we early on and then i kept putting off ordering it up i'm like i'm like is this we're gonna have a sandworm first the sandworm was sitting in the audience and i'm like uh all right a sandworm oh oh and then there was one idea where the sandworm comes out with an envelope.
And we're like, no. How are we going to get...

It's not going to be... All right, a sandworm.
Oh, and then there was one idea where the sandworm comes out with an envelope.

And we were like, no, how are we going to get,

it's not going to move.

And then we realized that-

Then it was going to come down upside down

and talk to you.

And it was going to have lines.

And so there's a whole lifeline to these things.

There's a whole evolution.

And then finally it became clear,

sandworm needs to be in the orchestra and needs to have gone to the Berkeley School of Music. Who played the Sandworm? It was a guy who does creature acting.
But also, crucially, from our team, the gentleman, the artist who dresses me and who, Scott Cronick, who's been with me for years, who I married. You married on television.
On television. In New York.
He and his partner in New York. You officiated the wedding.
Is that right? You're not married to him. But I also was married to him for a while.
Okay, you did that for a while. And then Lza found out and the whole thing went south but enhanced your own marriage exactly um but he built the sandworm and in three days he built it in three days and so it was behind the harp but then we had different ideas for who should be behind the piano and it wasn't quite working out we couldn't quite figure it out and then finally it occurred to us the sandworm should be the person on the piano and then if sandworm can show up again on the harp as a callback that happened we came that happened like the day before the oscars we realized i think it was the day before we realized it was that friday that yes sandworm should come out on the piano first and then show up later on on the harp because he's a multi-instrumentalist.
That's important. But when he came out, the first time we rehearsed that song, rolled out on the piano, it was such a great reveal.
Such a great, almost as dramatic as you coming out of Demi Moore's back. It was just like, whoa, that's a great tableau because you're singing in the foreground and there's a sandworm.
A worm is pounding away at the keys. Yeah, I was like, okay.
But Scott Cronick designed the costume and then at the end of the show, before the show was even over, I think someone from the Academy said, we'd like to keep the sandworm. Because they have a museum.
Oh, yeah. Great.
So I don't know if it's ever going to happen but if you go to the academy museum you can see that you can see that you can see the shark from jaws you know you can see the the the snow globe from from citizen kane and oh there's sandworm there's sandworm from the 97th osc, ruining the museum, dragging it all down.

I heard they had to get rid of the shark from Jaws to make room for the sandworm.

It's priorities,

but I think they have the right.

The sandworm ate the shark

because he's above it in the food chain.

We mentioned Scott Gardner.

He directed The Substance.

We did an ad parody, Cinema Streams.

Did a great job of that. And then he shot our two, Jeff Bezos arriving at the Oscars.
Yeah. And Matt Scharr.
A reason I'll never get a package again. Yeah.
Bezos is probably like, ha ha ha. See to it, he never gets a package again.
He's petting a white cat. And yeah, Matt Schar, our travel show editor.

We were working on the travel

shows during,

like we had to come in on the weekend and edit, and

I didn't even tell you because I thought

you'd be like, what do you do?

Why are you working on anything other than

the Oscars? When people would try to talk to me about

the travel shows, every now and then

Jeff Ross would say something like, so anyway,

you know, if we do end up going to India, I'd be like, it's not about the Oscars! If it's not about the Oscars, I don't want to talk about it! Yeah. I'm a real pleasant chap.
You know what? Yeah, we were real pleasant leading up to, your mind works constantly when you're focused on something. And, you know, I feel like a lot of times when you're getting your creative energy out, you're just making fun of us more than you normally would.
No, no, no, no. Yeah.
No, that's in your head. I'm going to say so.
That's in your head. Do you feel that way too, Matt? Yeah, I felt that.
I felt like it was just. A cloud of anger and passion.
It was just elevated. So it was a real joy for all of us who work for you.
It wasn't always easy to be around, Picasso. Okay.
But boy, did he fill a lot of museums with wonderful work. That's right.
Two, three, four. Picasso and sandworms.
Those are my muses. But also, Sweeney, weren't you, we were in Austria, and weren't you trying to then pull together this writer's room from across the world as well as during the day you would be directing the Austria show and then at night you would come back to the hotel.
And then we would all chill. And you would be going and trying to pull together.
I was on the phone with different writers' managers. Because initially it was like.
Who are often funnier than the writers. Yes, the managers were very entertaining.
They got great ideas. They're great to chat with in Salzburg.
Yeah, and that was all coming together over there. Yeah.
But then we ended up, you know, we, we reassembled our old team and they, it's the best move. They're the funniest.
Yeah. It was so much fun.
It was great. Incredible.
Great to have that room. That writer's room.
Good to see them all again. Yeah.
It was a nice reunion. It was really, really nice to see everybody.
Also to have everything humming where there's a writer's room downstairs working see them all again yeah it was a nice reunion it was really really nice to see everybody

also to have everything

humming where

there's a writer's room

downstairs working on the Oscars

I'd be in there joking around

then I'd come up here

yeah

and we would do a podcast

abuse these people

abuse you guys

you could abuse people

on multiple levels

I know you really could

you had room set up

just to make fun of people

people are gonna get

the wrong idea about me

from these jokes you're making

oh yeah yeah

anywho

Connie can I also ask

you went on Kimmel

which is really funny

and he gave you advice to sit down. Did you sit down? No, not that much.
No, you're on your feet. I was on my feet the whole time because I'm very hyperactive.
Yeah. Jimmy's advice was sit as much as possible because it's a lot of standing and I can't sit still.
And so there's footage. I mean, I gotta give a shout out since you're naming everyone you've ever met.
I think it's, hey, doing an amazing job. I'm gonna list the people that served in the Korean War now on the American side.
No, but Ruthie and Samantha, who handle the social media,

they did this amazing thing

where they were shooting video all the time,

sort of day in the life video and posting it.

But there's, not only am I not sitting down,

but at one point I'm doing a Russian dance

while the writers around me are chanting,

Conan, and the show is only half over.

And I'm expending energy and doing that leg kick dance. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.
And then I, it's madness. Absolute madness, but that's the world I like to live in.
Anyway, it was a, it was an honor, it was a privilege, it was a thrill, and Mike Sweeney would not have happened without this man he was probably due no we'd have found something else sure of course very quickly so the first thing I learned about is everyone's replaceable what's next so you better show up to work what's next I mean you've hosted the Emmys you've hosted the Latin Grammys Latin Gramm Come on, Eduardo. You're a real fit.

What do you think?

I think you're a perfect fit.

I think you'd be great about that. You're Spanish killed during the...

Si, es verdad.

Yes.

That was, yeah.

And you're Hindi and you're Chinese.

You're Mandarin.

The key to the Mandarin was they were laughing

so they couldn't hear the Mandarin.

But anyway, it was a real highlight, but it's also, man, it's nice to have that behind us. Yeah.
I've got to say. Well, great job.
I know I haven't said that until now. No, you really nailed it.
Fantastic. Well, we can't just be patting ourselves on the back here.
There's work to be done. There's work to be done.
Bobby Goodman. Yeah.
This I talk to you? Can I talk about this guy? What you do and what you did. Now I'll be Sebastian Maniscalco.
This guy, this fucking guy, this fucking guy. All right.
That was our Oscars podcast. Talk down.
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend

with Conan O'Brien, Sonam

of Sessian, and Matt Gourley.

Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs,

Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow.

Theme song by The White Stripes.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer

is Aaron Blair, and our associate

talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

In the next video, Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick.
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