From Twitch to OnlyF*ns: A Creator's Journey | Dan Dangler | Dan Dangler DSH #1015

No, like no commercial break.

It's it's just so it's very mentally draining.

So I'm glad that I made the switch.

I can see that.

Neon said streaming's a really hard job.

It's it's probably one of the hardest jobs.

And not the job itself.

Like not streaming.

Like that's it's easy, but it's the fact of how many hours it is and how like

mentally draining it is, you know?

All right, guys.

Dan Dangler here today.

Wow.

Hi.

Thanks for coming on.

Yeah, of course.

Thanks for having me.

Yeah, I just saw you on Ryan Pawnall show yesterday, right?

Oh my God.

I'm always on that thing.

Yeah, he loves you on there.

Well, we come up with good ideas and stuff, so that's why we work together.

I saw you went on with the grandpa.

Yeah, my grandpa, my grandpa Wayne, he's insane.

Yeah.

Wait, that's actually your grandpa?

Yeah.

Oh, I thought that was a skit.

Nope.

He's my grandpa.

And he's, yeah, he's an adult entertainer.

No way.

Yeah.

So did he inspire you?

No.

No.

No.

You know, I didn't look at pictures of his dick growing up or anything like that.

Nope.

Did you know he was in that space, though, growing up?

No, it wasn't until I got a little older that things started.

I think he retired.

And when his wife passed away, I think that it was just like, he's a wild man now.

Yeah.

Scratching that itch that he had during marriage, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Marriage is a tricky thing.

Yes.

I wouldn't know, but yeah.

You're pushing 30 now.

Are you thinking about it?

You just exposed me.

No, I'm not thinking about it.

I'm not even going to lie.

I'm not.

I don't think I ever want to get married.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I'd be like married without the government

if that makes sense.

You don't want to be financially tied to someone.

Yeah, I don't want to be tied in general to somebody like through the government.

Like, I just think that we can be together and be married and do all that stuff and not have to be actually married.

I feel there doesn't seem to be much benefit.

Yeah.

I mean, sometimes for like insurance and stuff, but I don't know.

That's not really worth it to me.

Yeah.

What about dating, though?

I date, but I don't, I'm not really dating right now because I'm working on just my career and stuff like that.

So I'm, you know, I'm, I have eight dogs.

Damn.

Yeah.

Nobody wants to date a girl with eight dogs.

I had seven on my notes, so you must have got every so once.

I did get another one, yes.

Every time I talk to somebody, like, every time I talk to somebody new, like, or I see my friends every once in a while, I have to be like, yeah, there's another one.

Oh, there's another one.

Have you met this one?

Where do you get them all?

They're all rescues.

So this one I just found was running on the street on my way.

I was on my way to collab with

J-Mac.

I don't know who that is.

He's a male performer.

And

there was this little puppy running in the street, not puppy, it's like an old-ass Chihuahua.

And I grabbed it and there was some lady running after it.

I thought that it was her dog.

So I was like, here you go.

And And she's like, no, it's not my dog.

So I'm like, oh, shit.

So I had to take the, take this thing home.

It's old as, you know, old as shit.

So it's like, got to be like, yeah, it's like 13, 14.

It's just on, it's just on hospice with me.

Wow.

That's sad.

It's, it's fine.

It's, it's happy.

It loves food.

So you're willing to take in senior dogs.

That shows your heart is his bad.

Oh my God.

I love any dog.

Any dog.

Besides like crazy dogs.

I've done, I've literally, I've done the whole,

you know, like nut job dog, like crazy.

Like not for me.

The traumatized ones.

Yeah.

Yeah, because the problem is they'll attack your other dogs.

Yeah.

It's too much right now.

I've had it before and I've had just one single dog, but I don't know.

And more of a, I like a whole pack.

Yeah.

Damn, you must have a good dog sitter.

Yeah.

Eight dogs.

Yes, I do.

Thank God.

That shit ain't cheap because I pay mine.

I got two dogs.

It's like $150 a night.

Mine lives with me.

So I have two assistants and one of my assistants is my manager.

So he came with me a day.

So the other assistant watches them while I'm gone and he stays at my house for free.

Smart.

So it's like, not for free.

He stays at my house in exchange for, you know, watching the dogs and stuff like that.

That's a good trade.

Yeah.

Wow.

It's perfect.

Just dogs or you got other animals too?

No, I couldn't have other animals.

R.I.P.

R.I.P., I tried to rescue a bird this past month.

Alexis Fox was, I don't know how dirty I can get.

Alexis Fox was banging and

a bird ran into the window while she was banging in it like and it fell on the ground whoa tried to rehabilitate it RIP it didn't make it baskable this happened like last week I was like god darn it I've never rehabilitated a bird though so I don't know see I'm kind of spiritual so when I hear of a bird flying into a window like that I wonder what the meaning is there

death yeah

no like long painful I don't think that's a random thing I don't know it's I don't know It was, I'm not a bird girl.

Let's just put it that way.

I tried.

Well, certain people can, like, almost talk to animals in, like, a, a way where it makes them comfortable.

Yeah.

Like

Tarzan.

Yeah.

Dr.

Doodle.

Dr.

Dr.

Doodle.

Yeah.

Dr.

Doodle, yeah.

Certain people got that touch.

Yeah.

Sounds like you got that with dogs.

I think so.

Maybe.

Sometimes it's funny, though.

This old dog likes my roommates better than me.

And I think she's a guy dog.

I think she like likes men better than females.

Dogs are good at reading people, too.

Well,

it's not reading me very well.

Nah, but when I bring friends over to the house and my dogs don't like them, that's weird to me.

Oh, yeah, that's a red flag.

My dogs have never not liked somebody.

I don't think they've gotten scared when big dudes walk in with backpacks and stuff.

Like big dudes.

But other than that, they don't really get scared.

Yeah.

You got big dudes coming over?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Big dudes a lot of the time coming over i wonder why yes collapse

so you're not streaming anymore huh

i get banned too much

right now i'm banned i was supposed to stream yesterday on twitch yeah but i'm banned damn what was the reason this time who knows they don't tell you it's always sex related for me like i'm always you know i do i do stuff like i'll be

i don't know i do i try to push the rules a little bit um and i don't feel like i break them but sometimes they feel like I break them.

Well, they've gone pretty PG-13 lately, I feel like.

Yeah, everything has gone PG-13 lately.

It's so annoying.

Like my Twitter got pulled down.

One of my alternate Twitters got pulled down.

Really?

Because I had a picture of me touching a guy's chest like this.

I was like this.

I was touching his chest and it got pulled down.

And I'm like...

We can post our buttholes on this platform.

Why can like, why, why is this photo getting taken down?

That's weird.

Yeah, I thought with Elon taking over they weren't really taking down accounts anymore.

I feel like Elon made it worse.

I feel like he made it more

like

he doesn't like when the girls like comment under like posts and stuff and do the self-promo and all that stuff.

He talked about trying to get rid of that somehow, but I see a lot of girls doing that.

How can you get rid of that?

It's like it's gonna happen.

I see it everywhere.

Is that how you get a lot of clients?

Um, well, what do you mean, clients?

Like for your OF, like subscribers.

Yeah, I do, I do ads and stuff on there.

I try, yeah.

I have a team for like ads and stuff.

Yeah, I'm not really doing that.

I'm more of the Instagram girl.

Yeah.

That's my main.

That's my main

funnel too, I bet.

I love Instagram.

It's so fun.

Your DMs must be popping.

Yeah, no.

Yeah, I get a ton of like fans and stuff, but yeah.

Nothing too crazy.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do you respond to fans ever?

Not on there.

Because then, you know, I'm already responding on my...

Can I say OnlyFans?

I think so, yeah.

I'm already responding on my spicy site, you know?

I'm already responding on that all day, you know, all day long.

So I don't want to like, I'll just, if I do respond, I'm like, hey, come talk to me over here.

Yeah.

I'm over here.

Yeah.

Was the money better there or with streaming?

With OnlyFans.

Really?

By far.

Yeah.

So that's why I kind of took a break from streaming because streaming is so difficult.

People don't understand it.

Like a lot of times streamers will be like, this is too much for me.

And, like, they'll get made fun of because it's considered an easy job.

But it really isn't because it's like

eight hours every day staring at the computer, going like this, you know, smiling.

Somebody calls you ugly and fat, and you're like,

you know, like, no commercial break.

It's, it's just so, it's very mentally draining.

So I'm glad that I made the switch.

I can see that.

Neon said streaming is a really hard job.

It's, it's probably one of the hardest jobs.

And not the job itself.

Like, not streaming.

Like, it's easy, but it's the fact of how many hours it is and how like

mentally draining it is, you know?

I could see it take a toll on people.

Like, Ninja seems pretty unhinged.

He's, I'm going to say he's a jackass.

He's a jackass, man.

He's such a, like, a sore loser just because he's not, like, popping like that anymore.

He'll, like, put down people for, you know, just if they do good.

You know what i mean like he gets you can tell he gets really jealous when like other people are breaking his records and i saw him with the kaisana stuff yeah he's just very just very jealous man you know kaisanat gets his sub-a-thon beat and he's like good job iron mouse like you you you know you won you did it blah blah you know and then Ninja gets beat and he's like, this is bullshit.

Meaning me, you know?

Yeah, I hate to see that because during Fortnite's peak, he was so fun to watch.

Yeah.

So I hate to see this side of him.

Yeah, it's it's yeah.

I put myself in his shoes and I wonder how I'd feel about probably the same, but you can't show that, you know.

You gotta, yeah, not show that.

Yeah, you don't want to sound ungrateful because sure, you might have had 100,000 people watching you at one time, but you still have 12,000 people watching you, you know?

Like, and that's the stuff I think that people take for granted.

Which is still a lot of people.

Yeah, they don't, yeah.

That's really mentally challenging, the streaming world yeah i wonder what the top streamers these days get do you know money wise like how many people are watching them oh yeah like a hundred thousand like kai senat can have like 50k to 200k you know what i mean it's yeah it's pretty insane but neon um i don't even consider him a streamer like a real streamer because he

view bots everything that's how he got any of his following he bought it all completely bought it all i've heard that he view bots but i've never seen like proof of it yeah well Well, Kick has came out and said,

don't be like Neon.

Oh, really?

Yes.

Wow.

So I don't consider, I will never consider him amongst the top streamers because of that.

Top streamers don't cheat to get there.

So,

yeah.

I didn't know you could view bot that easily.

Yeah, especially on kick.

Especially on kick.

Like all those streamers who are getting like, there was, there are streamers who are gone off the platform now, but like they were getting like 30k fake viewers.

You go into their channel and their channel's moving like super slow and it makes no sense for the amount of viewers they have.

Right.

So that's a sign that they're viewbotting when the chat's slow.

There's also different ways to find out, but yeah, that's one of them.

Damn.

So what about Jack Doherty?

What do you think about that kid?

I don't.

His face pisses me off.

I don't know why.

I think I'm not the only person who thinks that.

I don't really care about him or any of the shit he does.

But one thing, I think he needs his ass beat.

I'm not going to lie.

I think that Jack Doherty, all these dudes with the security guards, they'll literally be like, they'll talk shit to people and they'll be like, say something.

And their security guard will be right in front of them.

I'm like, bro, when I was a kid, if you had a security guard in front of you to talk shit, like you would have gotten jumped so fucking hard.

Like you would have been the biggest loser.

So I just think that like when you have to have like hire somebody to handle your fights for you, I think that like you maybe you shouldn't be fighting.

Yeah.

Well, he's permanently banned right now as we're filming this.

I don't know if he'll get it back.

He probably will because kicks really bad like that.

Yeah.

I don't think he should though.

I think he should be kicked off all platforms.

Did you see that car crash?

That was crazy.

Yeah.

For people who don't know, he was texting and driving, got in a car accident,

hurt his cameraman very bad.

And his cameraman was one of the last things he was worried about.

So it was kind of sad.

He told him to keep filming.

Yeah.

He literally gave his camera to a random guy outside of his window.

Like, like here, watch me jump out my crashed car window.

It was just scary.

In situations like that, I think it shows your true per like your true person.

100%.

Yeah.

And I think that that was really shitty.

Well, I think streaming in general, because you're on for so long, your true colors are going to come out.

Oh, yeah.

100%.

Especially like something like that.

I don't even just don't text and drive.

Especially when it's fucking raining.

On a highway, too.

Yeah.

Like, maybe you got a stoplight, but not highway.

And your friend is in the car.

Like, come on.

Yeah.

Who do you watch the most right now?

Streamers?

I don't really watch streamers right now, but if I do watch them, like, it'll be like, yeah, like Kai or somebody like that.

I might pop in to see what's going on.

Or maybe some of my friends pop in, see what's going on.

But yeah, I'm not really watching streamers too much these days.

Just clips on Twitter.

Yeah.

These clippers, man.

I'm about to start doing it for the pod.

I'm excited.

Oh, my God.

Aden Ross is killing it with these clippers.

Yeah.

You see them on TikTok and Instagram realtors.

Oh, yeah.

Everywhere, everywhere.

There's a big one going on right now.

Oh, really?

For Mr.

Beast?

No, well, yeah, but have you seen this Frogen?

Frogan.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

She pissed off the veterans.

God, she pissed off me, too.

Really?

After that,

I'm from a military family.

So

my brother went to Iraq when I was very young.

And there'd be times where, like, you didn't know what the fuck was happening because you couldn't get in contact.

And she just came out and she's like, I hope all U.S.

soldiers get PTSD and just all this really fucked up shit.

And just like, I hate them, blah, blah, blah.

So she's, she's like, people are blowing her up right now.

She's under fire.

Yeah.

So was she big before this?

Like, was she a known creator?

She was big.

She's like the, she's like really the only one on Twitch who's wearing like a hijab, I think it's called, or maybe just the headpiece, whatever on that's called.

Yeah, so she's very, she's, yeah, she's her own niche and stuff like that.

But damn, um, she's good luck to her, man.

She's I would be afraid to go out in public after saying something like that.

That's one community I wouldn't want to piss off veterans.

You don't mess with veterans, especially in America, where we are pro-pro-military.

Like,

do not mess with.

So, yeah, that one's going viral right now.

Like, she is, yeah.

She tried to apologize, but basically just backed her statement off.

Yeah, that's one thing that I would just let it go.

Yeah, just don't be on the internet for a long time long time yeah the the good thing is though people will eventually forget i feel like hopefully you think so actually no hopefully they don't forget

fuck her she's a bitch have you thank you to all the veterans who work your ass off and risk your life for us shout out to veterans i've had a lot on the show actually yeah um have you had ever been under fire like that before from the internet oh yeah i've had somebody make up a story about me really oh my god when i first started streaming this was fucking miserable um when i first started streaming, I didn't have a ton of money and stuff like that.

Wasn't poor, but I, you know, I was making enough to pay the bills here and there.

I didn't have a patio in my backyard, so I wanted a patio and it was breast cancer awareness day.

So I was like, hey guys, the subs today, half the subs will go to donating to breast cancer awareness.

And then if I make past the amount of my daily amount, that'll go to breast cancer awareness too.

Like I was just trying to do this thing and then had this one loser guy try and say that I was like stealing from charity, that I was taking 50%

of like what goes to charity.

But in reality, I just didn't have a lot of money at the time.

And I was saying I'll donate half of my income to charity.

Yeah.

Not 100%, half of it.

He didn't do shit for Breast Cancer Awareness Day, but he said that I was stealing.

It was a whole thing.

It really, it messed me up big time because it was one of the first like false rumors that ever went around about me.

Damn.

And yeah, it messed me up pretty bad because it's something that I hold close to my heart and all that stuff.

But yeah, I'm over it now.

Fuck that guy.

Damn, that's messed up.

You were trying to do something good, and then you get attacked.

Yeah, I mean, I get where they were coming from.

Like, it could look bad if, like, I made, but I wasn't making money like that at the time.

It was, you know, and I also showed all the receipts to all my, you know, everybody.

Hey, this is what I donated.

Blah blah blah.

As long as you got the truth on your side, you can't really.

Yeah, there was, yeah.

So it was hard, but fine.

When did the money start coming in?

How long did that take?

I'll say

money started coming in probably like

right at COVID.

Okay, so 2019.

Yeah, that's right when it started coming in because I was, um,

I was, that was my last semester of college.

It was, I finished up my other job.

I just quit my other job.

And so it was like, I was really focusing on it and making money from it then.

So, yeah.

That was streaming at the time?

Yeah.

Okay.

And when did you transition from that?

Um, I've been in like OnlyFans for like three years or so.

Okay.

Two, three years, but

yeah.

So that's when I started.

So a couple years in.

Yeah.

That makes sense.

After a couple years of streaming, I went to OnlyFans.

Who convinced you?

Myself.

It wasn't someone that was like, yeah.

Well, of course all my fans were like, open up on OnlyFans.

Open up.

You know, little horny guys.

Open up on OnlyFans.

I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not like that.

I'll never do that.

The only reason I was saying no is because I come from a Midwest family.

Yeah.

You know, I grew up in a church that said being gay was wrong.

I grew up in like very, you know, almost Mormon town, but for the Catholics.

Got it.

And so, yeah, I just,

I lost my train of thought what we were saying.

Your family was super religious.

Oh, yeah, they were super religious.

So like I didn't want to, well, not super religious, but like, you know, judgmental religious.

So I didn't want to go into OnlyFans because I didn't want my family to find out.

That was literally the only reason.

And that's, and I think back on that, I'm like, that is so sad.

Like, I should have just done what I wanted from the start.

Like, it's my own life.

So, yeah.

Wow.

So, how did they take it?

Were they?

Oh, they didn't take it.

Well, they don't, they literally.

Is your part?

Am I supposed to be this emo?

I mean, be honest.

I want you to be yourself.

Well, I mean, long story short, they don't, they don't agree with it.

They don't talk to me anymore because of it.

I've tried, yes, I've tried everything.

I'm messaging them multiple times.

I'll fly you out, come out.

out.

I've done all sorts of stuff.

I gave my dad

a check to get a boat.

My mom ripped it up.

Damn.

So, yeah, like there's been a lot of just, it's dirty money, you know, stuff like that.

But I'm happy.

So I don't really give a shit.

They always have a problem with something I do.

You know, if I was streaming, I was, you know, I had a V-neck shirt on.

How could I?

You know, like, I posted a picture of me in a bikini.

How could I?

As like a 25-year-old.

Wow.

Yeah.

So.

Sorry to hear that.

So that sounds like they were really strict on you growing up.

Yeah, very strict.

And so I just,

it was, it's still a struggle, but like, it's very relieving to like be my own person now, finally.

Damn.

So what about siblings and cousins and stuff?

Did they all cut you off?

Yeah, they all cut me off.

My

siblings cut me off because

I have a brother who's like always been grouchy and shit.

He never liked me anyway.

And then another brother who has kids and he's like, what if my kids asked you about it and wanted to do that?

Blah, blah, blah.

I'm like, you need to talk to your kids because that's fucking weird that your kids would ask me about porn.

You know what I mean?

Like,

I don't think that's a me problem.

I think that's a you problem.

So, um, yeah, we don't talk because of that and stuff.

Wow.

My cousins would all talk to me if I reached out to them, but I just, you know, I,

I grew up being forced to go to family events and shit like that.

I didn't want to go.

So now I'm I'm at a time like I don't have to go to my this random cousin's wedding anymore.

Yeah, that's how I felt with religion.

I got forced to go to church growing up and I hated it.

Yeah, it's like it's just nice to be relieved from that and not have to do that anymore.

And like fake being this like, I don't know.

I just didn't want to sit at my cousins' houses and stuff anymore.

No, that type of stuff should call you.

Like it shouldn't be like a forced thing anymore.

Yeah.

And I was just, I kept getting forced by my mom to do things.

And I just, you know, and I'd, I had therapists and they're they're like you shouldn't be forced to do anything and all that stuff so damn yeah yeah I got forced go pretty much forced to go to college too yeah same here and I had to pay for it oh that's even worse at least my mom shout out to my mom pay for it pay for it my mom said do whatever you want but first get a degree and I got two degrees graduated magna cum laude and paid off everything and I'm debt-free damn and then I did porn because my mom said do what you want afterwards and she didn't like that so two degrees so you got a smart side to you Yeah, I got a dedicated side to me.

Good work ethic.

I'm really not that smart.

Like I remember I hold a lot of information, but like if me and you did a math test, you would beat me.

Oh, I failed pre-calc, so I don't know about that.

Pre-Calc?

That

sounds too smart for me.

Yeah, I couldn't pass that shit in college.

But I would dedicate myself to it hard enough to learn it.

for the semester type shit.

Yes, you got good work ethic.

Yeah, that's where I succeeded, thankfully.

That makes sense.

Wow.

what a life.

You got a very interesting life.

It's very interesting.

It's cool to see that and hear this because there's people watching this that could probably relate though.

Yeah.

Strict parents and want to pursue a passion, whether it's OF or whether it's something.

Yeah.

My mom wanted me to do human resources.

Wow, that sounds terrible.

I know.

She signed me up to be a nurse aid and I was wiping old people asses and stuff like that.

Like I just, yeah, so I mean, I loved the job, but my, me and my mom had a different view for my life.

Yeah.

I mean, I like to volunteer and help out, but not as a like full thing, because then you're limited.

Yeah.

You can only see a certain amount of people a day.

Rather than creating content, we can impact millions of people.

Yeah.

We could actually help people.

Damn.

I don't even know what to say after all that.

Thanks for being honest and vulnerable.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm so like open.

I don't even find it vulnerable.

I'm just so open and honest about everything that like I'm open book.

Anything you want to know.

Have you always been that way yes yes yes i used to be sassy very sassy growing up but yeah always an open book i'll always give you an honest if you're like

i'm that type of girl if my friend asks hey have i been gaining weight i will tell them yes girl you've been gaining weight no you haven't blah blah blah i'm just very honest that's a good friend to have Sometimes some people don't like that.

I told my friend before that she looked funny, like she had an outfit on.

She's like, well, I didn't need to know that.

Yeah.

I mean, be honest.

If I got a booger in my nose you know like tell me I'll tell you yeah yeah I got you I'm putting on weight tell me because you don't well I won't tell you unless you ask me I'm not gonna go that also comes from my German side of the family like my mom if she if she brought an overweight girl to her home growing up my German grandma would be like you're fat you need to lose weight damn because that's just like the German side like Germans think that they're helping you by saying something like that but they don't realize like that's actually really hurtful yeah so Germans are just super honest people oh yeah oh especially back in the day like yeah for sure have you been out there germany no i haven't but i've a bunch of my cousins have came here and stuff like that so you've been traveling a lot no i actually don't travel too much because of my eight dogs makes sense if i do travel it has to be somewhere like that i can get back in time in case something wrong happens you know yeah so yeah Like I could never go to like China or something, I don't think, because it's just too far away.

Yeah, Yeah, that's 18 hours at least, I think.

Yeah, I flew there once.

Yeah?

Yeah.

So long.

Oh my gosh.

Did you lay down on the seats?

Nah, I was broke back then.

Well, not broke, but I just, I was 10 years old.

Oh, yeah.

Well, at least the seats were a little bigger when you were 10.

I was still the tallest one there when I was 10.

Yeah, well, that's true.

Yeah.

Yeah, those Asian guys are short.

Yes.

Yes.

You ever been with an Asian guy?

No.

Really?

Yeah.

It's so surprising.

I always tell my fans and followers followers about that i'm like yeah i don't i've never been with an asian guy wow is it the height thing or what do you think it is no i don't have anything against asian men i just haven't like

i just haven't ran into an asian performer like there's not a lot of asian female i mean male performers that's actually true i don't know any to be honest Well, it's a very judgmental life, like, you know, like their parents and stuff like that.

It's a very harder, like, thing to get into.

They would drop the kid like your parents did.

Yeah, 100%.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

I didn't think of it that way, but 100%.

Yeah.

Some cultures are,

some cultures are just okay with it and some aren't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wonder why.

I don't know, but us black and white people, we all,

we don't care.

We'd be throwing our booties around everywhere.

Absolutely.

There's plenty of us.

Non-stop.

This is an interesting episode for me because I don't watch porn.

No?

No.

I don't fucking believe you yeah i don't watch porn are you asexual no i'm not i thought i was before but i just had low testosterone oh okay so you have low testosterone right now you think not anymore well then why don't you watch porn i just have sex how often uh once or twice a week okay that's enough for me that's good yeah that'd be plenty for me yeah most people do like not most people but people do it daily it's like i don't get that i'd be drained i don't need that you know i need more of an emotional daily like rather than a sexual daily, you know, emotional daily.

I haven't heard that before.

Yeah, like, I'd rather, like, sit there and like hang out with you, watch a movie, chill, like, do that on the daily rather than have to fuck daily.

Like, you know, like, I don't mind fucking, but like, it's my job, you know.

Like, sometimes I like to focus on the other stuff.

Yeah, you probably get home off the work.

Like, I don't want to.

I don't want to fuck.

Like,

yeah.

Yeah, because you just.

did it for hours.

Yeah.

Well, not hours.

No.

I will know.

I draw the line.

If a collab lasts longer than 30 minutes, I quit it.

Damn.

I tell them that.

I'm not wasting my time.

30 minutes.

Nope.

That's actually pretty long, though, to be honest.

And if anybody jerks off to a 30-minute video, like

I can give them 15 minutes and buy another fucking video.

You know what I mean?

I don't need to give them a 30-minute video.

I can give them two 15-minute videos.

30 is impressive.

If you could last the whole time.

Yeah.

Well, and then plus, like, if you save it and then you have like multiple parts in the 30-minute video, you're less likely to sell more videos.

You know what I mean?

Because you gave this long form content that they can continue to use interesting so you drop in a video a week i'm oh yeah i have sex with like i'd collab like twice a week probably okay so two videos a week yeah i don't know yeah kind of depends how i drop them but is it the same guys normally you just yeah it's around the same guys sometimes it's a new guy but it's always the guy that is in the industry and has you know like experience in the industry has worked with people i know like stuff like that has to be like that.

Yeah.

You keep it pretty professional.

Oh, I am like one of the most professional posters.

I genuinely believe that.

Like part of me like wanted to, I'm kind of mad I didn't wear like business suits as like a personality because I feel like that would have been more me.

But like, yeah, I wish I would have done that besides of like, oops, besides like dresses and stuff because I really do treat it like a, like a job, you know, I'm not, if we're not on the clock, like if the camera's not rolling, i'm not gonna fluff you you know what i mean like if you know what i mean what does that mean okay i was like you're looking at me like you did i never heard that okay see like if the camera pauses and we have to take a break like the guy has to stay erect oh wow and so a lot of times girls will help the man when the camera's off i'm a professional corn star i'm not helping you the camera is off you should be professional enough to get it up and be ready for me damn that's how it works you know yeah you got to switch the camera angles, right?

So you, yeah, different stuff.

Like, it could be anything, you know, like have to break to drink, you know.

And if I have to sit there and give you a 30-minute blowjob to get you hard again for our scene, then I'm not going to work with you again.

Cause I'd rather just like get what needs to be done in the 30 minutes.

Yeah, because that's more time you're spending.

Yeah.

Then I'm not here to give free blowjobs that aren't on camera.

Damn.

But it's just the truth.

Like, that's a lot.

Yeah, your fans would be upset with that line, I think.

Yeah, that's okay.

I'm professional about it.

Have you ever met a fan?

Yeah, I've met tons of fans.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love my fans.

They're great.

That's cool.

Some people draw that boundary, I know.

I don't, I don't, like, meet up with them or anything like that.

I see them at events.

Oh, got it.

I draw the line at meetups.

I don't do meetups because I've had bad experiences.

I've had a guy from California come to Michigan, try to live with me.

Whoa.

With his dog and everything.

What?

Yeah.

Showed up at an animal sanctuary I volunteered at, followed, almost followed me all the way home.

But I realized some guy was following me.

So I pulled over.

And I was like, I'm Michigan.

I'm Michigan German, German, Italian, spicy girl.

Pulled up, jumped out of my car.

Why the fuck are you following me?

And then he gets out of his car.

I don't know.

I don't know.

And then it was like, long story short, he ended up, I was like, Zee, called the police because I thought he was like somebody who was sick.

And, um, and he's like, don't have Zach call the police.

I was like, what the fuck?

How do you know my friend's name's Zach?

And then I put two and two together.

Oh, this is my stalker from California.

He's here in Michigan right now.

Yeah.

So.

So he was messaging you before that?

He, yeah, he messaged me here and there.

And he'd be like, I want to come to Florida with you and the mods because I would take my mods to Florida and stuff.

I want to come there.

I'd be like, no, no, no, don't.

You cannot do that.

No.

Like, and I would block him, create new accounts.

You know, like, he would just.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's unfortunate.

He's gone now, though.

I don't know where he is now.

Probably on another girl.

No, or in jail, hopefully.

He got a lot of DUIs.

He had a DUI?

He had a lot of DUIs.

I had a lot of paperwork against him, so I found out a lot of stuff.

Wow, you did your investigation.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

What are the mods?

Is that Discord mods you're talking about?

Yeah.

My mods are like my best friends.

Really?

They're not even really my mods anymore because I don't stream as much.

But

so, yeah, it's

it's just a group of people who used to help me out on my account.

Now we, now they come and visit me in California and stuff.

Nice.

Yeah.

One of my assistants was a mod on my Twitch channel.

And then we became friends.

And then he moved to Michigan to hang out.

Cause I was like, why don't you live here?

Because his job is, you know, it's a travel job.

So he moved to Michigan.

And then I moved to California and I was like, just come to California with me.

So he came to California too.

So yeah.

There we go.

Yeah.

My mod became one of my best friends slash roommates.

Shout out to him.

He made it.

Yeah.

He got out.

Are you ever going to well, you're banned on Twitch.

So what about other platforms?

I'll be back, though.

You'll be back?

Yeah.

I might be on ban today, actually.

Yeah.

But would you ever like go to Kick or Rumble or something?

Fuck no.

I'm not going to Kick.

Kick is like full of

I don't know if I can say this word.

So full of like adults that talk to children.

Really?

yes i didn't know that there's been there's been men who have been kicked off the platform for talking and getting drunk with underage children whoa yeah so there's a lot of that um there's a lot of just

just nastiness i don't want to be associated with that platform anymore i um i actually had a deal with them a while ago i was getting paid to stream for them and I was getting banned, like not banned, I was getting like my category switched.

Like people were fucking with my channel while I was streaming.

Like they would,

the kick mods would put me in chess while I was streaming, just chatting.

I don't even know how to play chess.

I don't even have a chess board.

They would literally mess with my category to like fuck with me.

It was the weirdest.

I've never had like staff fuck with me like this before.

And then also they

told me, um, if I didn't want to be fucked with anymore to

be on during the, I think it was during the daytime, because at nighttime, their mods are from the Middle East and their mods are less

accepting of females and stuff like that.

So they basically told me.

Oh, yeah, Islam.

They told me don't stream at certain times because I'm most likely.

to get messed with.

That is strange.

I'm like, why can't you just handle your fucking staff and not have them harass anybody?

And I can stream at any time I want.

That's super unprofessional.

It was the most insane thing.

I have the craziest messages in my Discord from like one of the owners of Kik, like just the most insane things.

Jeez.

I do see a lot of degeneracy on that platform.

It is so degenerate.

It is for like the like it is the platform for

stream reject like

stream rejects if that makes sense.

Like yeah people that get banned rejects.

Yeah, it's a stream for it's the place for rejects.

Yeah, people that get banned on Twitch, right?

They pop over there.

Yeah, and then they do like all this like pedophile chasing stuff.

I've seen that.

It's like, how do you feel about those i don't like it really like the vitality stuff i think that people should be held accountable obviously if for like doing you know pedophilia stuff but i just think that you're putting way too many people at risk you know like you could be you don't know these people could have a gun and shit like that they're already unhinged enough to like touch children you know i just think that you should like maybe assist the police with that like yeah You know, like, because they catch them and they like shave their heads and all that shit.

Then they let him go.

It's like, you didn't fix his pedophile problem

you just him up a little bit and now he's still gonna go home and be a little fucking weirdo one of them suing vitalia i believe yeah for shaming him or whatever yeah that's the thing it's like insane it's it's just a mess like i think that they deserve it absolutely i just don't think it should be done that way yeah it's tough man as a streamer i get it you're constantly trying to innovate think of new ways to get views but you you're pushing that line yeah it's getting dangerous when you hit that line you know Yeah, the pranksters stuff.

Yeah.

People walking with security, purposely bumping into people.

Oh my God, that drives me nuts.

I just think if you're not an A-list celebrity and you have security, I think you're a fucking loser.

I genuinely think you're a loser.

I'm a female and I don't need security when I go out to places.

Really?

No.

Because I'm a normal person and I don't talk shit about people like

these Jack Doherty's and neons and them.

I don't need somebody to back me up like that.

I could see it for certain corn stars because there's just some weird guys.

But yeah, I get what you're saying, though.

But even for certain corn stars, I can go out with people and I can go out with the big girls and they don't get like fucking, you know, it's just not the same type of interaction that like Jack Doherty and all of them are getting, you know?

Yeah.

I hope he turns it around.

I don't.

I hope he goes away.

You don't think there's some.

I think they're all losers.

I'm not going to lie.

I just think they're losers.

Damn.

I think a lot of people.

Do you think people can change, though?

I just think he's very spoiled.

When When he got in that car crash, that showed me everything I needed to know about him.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I couldn't tell if he was doing it for show, like for show, but then he got in that crash and he was still the same person.

Yeah.

They're just bad people.

And even Neon, like, I've seen videos of him before he starts filming.

He goes up to everyone and tells him, yo, I'm going to pretend to be this guy.

Yeah.

Like, if I annoy you, let me know.

Oh, yeah.

There's, and there's the whole, it's just, the whole thing is just a weird world.

It's very reality TV.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, I just hope people don't get too carried away where someone ends up dead or something.

Oh, it's going to happen 100%.

100%.

Yeah.

Between fucking Fouzi and all these people.

Fouzi's going crazy.

I know.

Again.

He messages me every once in a while.

Oh, he does.

Yeah.

But it never makes sense.

So.

I think he might be manic again.

Yeah.

It's like the fourth time.

It's not good for your health, this stream.

Genuinely, it's not good for your health.

But it's very addictive.

Yeah.

When you see the views, right?

Yeah, so addictive.

You're chasing it.

Money.

Even me with my clips, like if they don't get like 100k views, I'm like, damn, I'm kind of sad about it.

Yeah.

And it's like you shouldn't be.

I know.

It's still a lot of people, but

when you're chasing the top, I guess, chasing the fame, it's a lot.

It's risky.

Yeah.

It's okay.

Well, what's next for you?

Oh, God.

Two more collabs this week?

Yeah.

No, I'm doing, I'm starting a lot of YouTube.

I'm really excited about this.

But YouTube over the years has become a lot less

monetizable.

Is that how?

Yeah, the ad revenue is down.

Yeah, I feel like it's pretty low, but it's where I feel like I should be because I feel like it's like just enough energy to exert for a video.

And then I don't, you know, then I can like chill.

Yeah.

I like that.

Like yesterday I went to a Halloween party and I just brought my YouTube video with me.

Like, you know, I just videoed myself and just hung out.

Felt like like nice and,

you know, nice and relaxing.

It wasn't like having a chat, watching you the entire time and having to be on like that all the time.

So I'm excited to start this YouTube journey.

What kind of content you thinking?

I'm thinking just vlog style, you know, like I go to this Halloween party.

That'll be, I put up my Christmas tree already.

Wow, that's early.

I know.

I love Christmas trees.

I might not decorate my whole house, but I'll definitely love the Christmas tree when it becomes cooler outside.

Real or fake tree?

Fake.

Okay.

I've always been a fake tree, girl.

Why?

Because I don't want my house to burn down.

Oh, good point.

And I like to reuse my stuff.

I literally just did my Christmas tree and I put all plastic ornaments on it and I zip-tied them all to the tree.

Zip-tied them to the tree.

So then next year I don't have

to put anything on.

God, part of the fun is always putting it on.

No.

And then every year.

I fucking hate it.

I love it.

Every year I add a new ornament.

Oh, I have a million ornaments, though.

Like my, that's what my family did growing up: they gave everybody ornaments.

Aunts would give everybody an ornament every year.

So I have like 10 million gingerbread men and like all these like shit that I don't want, but it can't get rid of because it's like sentimental.

Yes, but no.

Like, it's like, I don't even know who gave it to me at the time.

But it's just, yeah.

My growing up, I had to put ornaments on the tree that were given to me.

Yeah.

And I didn't like that the tree wasn't cohesive.

You got OCD or something.

No, I just really liked

growing up.

I wasn't a big Kardashian fan or anything, but I always saw their Christmas trees that they put in their living rooms and stuff.

I was like, I want a fancy tree like that.

They've inspired a lot of people in many different ways.

Especially women.

Yes.

No, because I can't stop watching that show.

I can probably thank my BBL to their,

what is it?

Their influence on society.

I can definitely thank my BBL too, probably.

Yeah.

Wow.

What other surgeries have you done?

Oh, I've done them all.

Damn.

Yeah.

That's, but I just think it's funny when people don't know.

And like, some guys are into like natural boobs and they have to ask you if they're natural or not.

Yeah.

To be like, well, are they natural or no?

And so you tell by the touch, right?

Yeah, no.

Not for me personally.

My boobs feel real.

Wow.

Because my boobs are very fat.

Like they're fat.

They were big before.

They just ended up like starting to sag a little bit.

So I got boobs, put the boobs in, and just made them perk up a little bit.

So my boobs are still very soft.

But yeah, you can tell on like very, very thin girls and stuff like that.

I can't tell you've gotten a lot in your face.

You can?

I can't.

Oh, okay.

I was like, Jesus Christ.

I thought you just did.

You know how someone you could tell?

No, I don't do a lot like that.

Yeah, no, I don't do stuff to my face.

I only do like facials and stuff like that.

Not like dirty ones.

Well, those two.

Yeah, but yeah, no,

I am mainly doing, yeah, like facial treatments.

I don't really get face.

I don't get my face.

Botox and stuff.

I might get Botox here and there, but I don't do it like crazy.

I'm just, I'm just preventing looking old.

That's what I'm trying to do.

What was the one that makes your lips?

Is that the Botox?

Lip filler.

Lip filler.

I get lip filler too, but.

I can't tell.

Some woman only.

I don't have a lot.

Gosh.

I have tiny lips, so I just have a little bit.

I never understood the attraction towards the big, fat lips.

Some people's lips look really good, though.

When they're that fat and and big?

Some of them.

Some of them don't though.

Some of them look like from the side view, they're like

side view.

Side view is pretty bad.

It's like a duck.

Yeah.

But yeah, I just don't like that.

Like the big upper lip that's sticking out.

Damn, so you've got them all.

Is there any on your list that you want?

No, but I've, like I said, done all done boobs, butt, lipo, arm lipo.

I just got out of arm lipo, and it was the biggest mistake of my life.

Why?

I've never had any issues with surgery surgery until arm lipo.

Literally, it just, I don't know, my arms did not want to recover.

Holy crap, so you're bruised up still?

I'm, yeah, I'm real messed up right now, but

yeah, it doesn't seem like you needed the lipo.

I felt I needed it, but damn, yesterday, my assistant goes, I hate to say it, but I don't even realize the difference.

I mean, and I was like,

Don't say that to me when I have this giant thing on my arm and like this arm's all fucked up too.

Just say it looks good.

You're already pretty skinny, so.

No,

I'm naturally not a skinny girl.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm not a fat girl.

I'm naturally just like a thick girl.

Okay.

Yeah.

Certain guys like that though.

Yeah, like flat stomach thick.

Flat stomach thick.

What does that mean?

Like my stomach's flat, but I'm like still a little thicker.

Okay.

Like a sports player.

Sports player?

Yeah, like a Serena Williams or?

Yeah, but she's very definitely not that.

I'm not comparing myself to her.

But yeah, she's, you know how she's thicker.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's me.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, it comes in waves where like certain guys want thick and then they want to make it.

Yeah,

right now is the skinny phase.

That's the face.

I'm like, god damn it.

Bring it back.

They're bringing back the supermodel phase.

Oh, no.

I'm so sad about that one, though.

Because I'm a food addict.

I love food.

I'm very much a food addict, though.

I like can't, I can't say no if you put certain things in front of me.

What's your go-to?

Italian?

yeah, but right now I have a problem with sour punch straws.

Oh, so candy.

I'm having a really bad candy problem.

You got a sweet tooth.

You might have a parasite.

You think?

Do you have a sugar craving right now?

I am so bad with sugar cravings.

I'll introduce you to my parasite girl.

She'll give you a cleanse.

Your sugar cravings will go away.

What?

Yeah, you have a parasite infection.

Crazy, right?

It's common though.

Don't feel like it's a.

How much?

What is it in me?

What's in me?

Worms or some shit?

Type of worm, yeah.

But when you have a sweet tooth like that.

No, no, no.

Stop.

Are they microscopic?

Go back to this worm thing.

Yeah, they're microscopic.

They're not big worms.

I'm going to jump off a fucking cliff.

I don't want any fucking parasites inside me.

I'll get you right.

I had them too.

Oh, my God.

It's so bad, though.

It's to a point where, like,

like my one of my assistants is actually a nurse.

And he's like, you're going to give yourself diabetes because of how much candy I've been eating lately.

You might have to get your blood tested for it.

Oh, fuck.

Man, as long as it's not worms in my butthole, have you ever seen that before?

No.

Yeah, that's new.

You saw that?

That's insane.

No, this podcast I used to listen to.

Not podcast, it's a radio show, Dave and Chuck the Freak.

I fucking love them.

Their radio show where I grew up.

And

they...

They talked about worms in the butthole.

No.

Yeah, it happens to people.

And they said to like to check, you have to put a piece of duct tape on your butt.

And then

yeah, and then you fall asleep and then you wake up and if we pull the duct tape off, there'll be some worms on it.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Or a flashlight to your butthole in the dark.

Have you tested it or?

No, that's my number one fear though.

That's my number one fear.

Whenever my butt is itchy, I'm like,

I better not have fucking butt worms.

Oh.

That's my like number one fucking.

That would affect your work.

Worms?

yeah, that would affect my work.

You're right.

Oh, gross.

Yeah, no, I just,

yeah, no.

I used to have a tapeworm fear.

Oh, worms are my biggest fear in the world in general.

They're up there for me because I was super skinny growing up and I was convinced I had a tapeworm.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

I was like 150 pounds.

150 pounds?

That's 6'5.

Oh, I was like, that's not bad at all, but at 6'5, I'm gonna be a bad one.

I'm a foot taller than this.

Yeah.

That's way too skinny.

You can see my rib cage and stuff.

Yeah, no, that's like almost as much as I weigh.

Yeah.

With another foot.

I'm like 140 right now.

Most girls don't admit their weight.

I'm a big girl.

I'm a big girl.

I'm not big, but like I'm heavy, girl.

You're like the first girl that's just said it without.

I'm very sad about it.

I'm not very, I'm an open book.

I don't have any secrets at all.

Not even one.

Oh, that's good.

A lot of girls are conscious about their weight.

No, I'm trying to be like, I would love to be like one.

And maybe I'm like actually,

no, maybe I am 140.

I'm either 145, one like 35.

Okay.

But yeah, I don't want to be.

I want to be like 115.

Damn.

That's like, that's good for me.

I'd be a little too skinny, I think.

I think it's like too skinny if I'm like 105.

Damn, that's skinny.

That's like too skinny.

But I've, I've hit 115 before, which is very not like me.

I was sick at the time and it looked really good.

I was like, ooh, she's skinny.

That is the one benefit of getting sick.

Yes.

You lose like 10 pounds.

It was so great for a little bit.

I mean, mind you, I couldn't work.

I couldn't do anything, but you were real sick.

I was skinny.

What was that?

COVID sickness or?

No, it was just anxiety.

I had a bad anxiety spurt for like a couple months, lost a shit ton of weight.

I deal with, all my fans know, I deal with mental health like hugely.

I couldn't tell based off just this episode.

Yeah.

I mean, I deal with it myself.

I don't, I'm not a like, I don't take my mental health out on anybody.

But yeah.

So it's been a lifelong thing or did it come yourself?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, lifelong?

I just got diagnosed bipolar disorder.

What?

Yeah.

My dad had that.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't have it bad, though, you know, and it's very, it affects me only.

Like, I don't, I will never be like

at you or anything like that.

It's not, yeah, it's something that just, I, I'm very, I've been in therapy my whole life, so I'm very like aware of my mind and stuff.

And I know that it, I'm like, oh, my mental health isn't good right now i'll talk to you later blah blah blah that's good though because at least you could recognize yeah i'm very happy i can recognize it very easily a lot of bipolar people can't yes and that's it's hard yeah my dad like i was very shy as a kid because if i said the wrong thing he would yell at me or yeah you know that's yeah that's it's Definitely in me, like, you know, definitely in me.

Like, I went to Halloween horror nights last night and I just wanted to like yell at everybody because, you know, if it gets too close or people walking by will hit your shoulder like you just you want to start a fight with them yeah and you're like this is no this is not not a normal thought it's like road rage but in person yes exactly it's like you just you have these irrational thoughts like I want to scream at this person but you just don't do it you know because they're it's they're not intentionally doing it yeah and it's just a lot of it comes down to my my brain and it's only affecting me everybody else having a good time yeah i'm not big on crowded places i don't go to clubs bars i don't know know what happened just in college i liked it yeah but now as i'm older it's like oh my god i know like the halloween horror nights i was telling my friends i was like if i went to this when i was younger i would have been this would have been a blast like so much fun it was fun as an adult but like you start getting tired and you're like yeah i want to go home i got to get up in the morning you know all that stuff but to go as like a teen with like your boyfriend like and your friends that would have been so fun the highlight of the year oh yeah so fun but yeah Like with this unruly party coming up, 4,000 people, I'm like, I'm not even going.

Yeah, no,

it's a lot of people.

I'd rather be home with my dogs and my girl.

Yeah, 100%.

Me too.

Smoking weed.

Yeah, I've been smoking a little lately, actually.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

I used to not be able to.

Oh, yeah.

Bad anxiety.

Oh, huh.

Yeah.

I get like that if I smoke too much wax.

Wax for sure.

Yeah.

Or edibles.

Oh, you think so, huh?

Do you feel edibles?

I don't feel edibles.

I'm I'm on Lexapro.

Whoa.

If anybody is on Lexapro, they know

you don't feel shit, not even in your vagina sometimes.

What?

I've never heard of that.

What is that?

Lexapro is like, if you ever talk to somebody and you're like, they're not there.

Like, they're not mentally there.

Like, they're like a fucking robot or something.

It's usually they're on Lexapro.

So it's like a dissociation?

It's very, it just calms you down.

Oh, it's like anti-anxiety.

Anti-anxiety, anti-depression, anti-all that stuff.

So, yeah.

You seem to have plenty of emotion here, though.

Well, I'm insane.

So, this is you dumbed down?

Yes.

I want to say I'm wild.

So, yeah, but all my, if you, like, my aunts are on it and my mom, if you talk to them, they're like robot.

Like, it's just weird.

Damn.

When did you start getting on that?

When I was younger.

But it's the only thing that really makes me feel okay, you know?

Only thing that really makes me.

I don't know, kind of feel like I'm at a normal.

Sounds like you need a psychedelic experience.

Oh, my God.

Someone...

No, who told me to do that?

Fouzi told me to.

I don't know if that's the best person to be telling you that.

Fouzi told me to.

What did he say?

Ayahuasca.

He did something somewhere.

I don't think it was ayahuasca.

Maybe DMT or something.

Fucking weird.

Don't quote me on this, anybody, but if Fouzi says something about he did some trip.

He's like, oh, it made me feel a lot better.

I'm like, okay, I don't know about that because I see a little bit

stuff everywhere.

But yeah, I always wondered if that would help me, but i think i have too much anxiety i think it would actually do the opposite it could go either way you could have a really bad trip or you could just be cured for life yeah unlock all your childhood trauma and release it i just don't think i i don't think i feel like you have to be very chill and very like ready and open for that to get that experience you need the right mindset right i'm not i'm not there

it'll call you one day i can literally take like

three eighths of shrooms and not feel anything what it's because of lexapro Holy crap.

It's insane.

Like, so I'm like, I don't even know if any of these experiences would work for me anyway because of the medicine.

What happens if you didn't take the medicine?

Has that happened?

I always take it.

If I didn't take it, I'd start feeling anxious and all that stuff.

So, yeah.

That's how I was when I was on Xanax.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

That stuff's so bad for you.

Terrible.

Did you, how long were you on it?

Only two months, but I cut it instead of tapering off.

So I had a seizure.

Oh, my God.

It's insane.

Yeah.

I almost died from it.

It's insane.

I was on colonopin for a year, and I was trying to get off it for months, months.

Like, I was telling everybody, I'm trying to get off this drug.

Like, it sounds like I'm a drug addict, but I'm prescribed this drug and I'm taking this tiniest dose of it to try and get off it.

And I'm still like, I would be shaking,

throwing up, having to call people to get fluids.

It's like, how the fuck is this shit even allowed to be prescribed?

They give it like candy.

They should not, you should not be allowed to take that shit for more than a week.

Like literally.

You had a seizure and you had it for two months.

Two months.

Just for that's insane.

Pan out was high during the seizure.

So that that fucked up my relationship with weed.

Oh yeah.

That's yeah.

No, it's it was horrible.

I'd be fine.

And then the next day all of a sudden you're shaking.

You can't like do anything.

You feel like you're dying.

I just rough.

That is so bad.

They got my dad too.

He had a seizure at my soccer game because he was going to withdraw.

It's so bad.

And you don't even, you can't even tell sometimes.

Like you're like, I feel okay today.

And then the the next day you're withdrawing yeah it's quick it's like for me it would like happen like a couple weeks later all of a sudden i'd have a withdrawal i'm like i've been taking the same dose for

you got to keep upping it

it's just insane the whole thing it's just if you are considering taking colonopin and xanax i would try another outlet or don't continuously take it yeah should never be continuously taken like we did i feel like it's like way too much for your body

and my memories were wiped.

That's too much.

I don't know.

Oh my god, yeah.

That's another thing, too, is they said that

those meds are like, they can give you dementia.

Whoa, they literally said that.

They were like, you need to get off of this shit.

They asked me.

Like, when I came here, I got a different psychiatrist.

He's like, holy shit, I can't believe you've been on that for a year.

Yeah.

They don't tell you the side effects when they're prescribing.

No.

Like, you know that you, you know, these things a little bit, but you don't think that you're going to get sick from just taking it as prescribed.

yeah.

You know, like it's wild.

Yeah, so the one you take, there's no memory issues.

No, this isn't like it's not a narcotic or anything like that.

So, yeah, I don't take any narcotics.

This one just mellows you out, yeah.

Just like, um, it's a buildup, you know, like one of those things you have to keep taking because it stays in your system.

Yeah, that's cool.

It's okay.

Well, Dan, it's been a fun episode.

Sorry, we talked about so much random shit.

That's how I think I've ADHD, too.

Okay, I'm all over the place.

But anything you want to close off with here?

Nothing.

Just

if you had fun, if you want to follow my Instagram

or anything, I'm the dandangler on everything.

The dandangler.

We'll link your YouTube also.

Cool, awesome.

Perfect.

Thanks for watching.

Thanks for coming on.

Thanks for watching, guys.

See you next time.