Dating App Secrets: What 99% of Entrepreneurs Get Wrong | Blaine Anderson DSH #1004

you don't want to get the rap of like this guy's at the gym just asking girls out left and right.

That's a bad rap.

Every gym has that guy.

Yeah, you don't want to be that guy.

So you really want to make sure because and if you're speaking to her over multiple interactions, you might realize, hey, I don't want to ask her out.

We don't have that much in common.

She's not that smart.

You know, like whatever it is.

And then you can nix it.

And then maybe you ask somebody else out at a later time.

You don't like blow your one chance at the gym.

Absolutely.

All right, guys, got Blaine Anderson here today, dating expert.

Thanks for coming on.

Yeah, thanks for having me.

Yeah.

Dating market's pretty interesting right now, right?

Yeah, it is.

There's a lot of

complaints I see.

Yeah, I'm curious, you know, if you go back 50 years, if people complained about dating as much.

I feel like probably not.

I don't think so.

Yeah, but everyone is having trouble now, and everyone thinks their city's the worst for dating.

Right.

What other troubles you're seeing?

A lot of different things, but trouble navigating social media and apps, which is very understandable.

Trouble creating connection and flirting.

That's a big one I see from men.

Finding somebody that they feel is on their level or that they connect with.

I hear that all the time.

Yeah.

And yeah, there's a lot of things that contribute to that, but those are some of the problems I see frequently.

Yeah.

Do you think flirting can be acquired, like if you suck at it?

Absolutely.

It is absolutely a learnable skill.

Some people are naturally better at it than others.

And some people learned it or practiced it more growing up because of their environment.

They had a brother or a dad who was really good at it, but it's absolutely a learnable skill and something you can get better at.

Okay.

Yeah.

Some people are really bad, right?

I just see girls like screenshotting the messages and putting them on blast.

And there's different styles of flirting too.

Like

this one style isn't going to work for every guy.

You have to kind of figure out what works for you based on what you're comfortable with, your personality, your strengths.

So it's not one size fits all.

Right.

There's no one pickup line that can work 100% of the time.

No, and that's like, so you know, sometimes people want that.

They want like the secret code.

What's the cheat code?

And that's just not how dating works.

Right.

Yeah.

Cause every girl's different, right?

Some girls might not like that line.

So you got to be adaptable.

And the most important thing when you're saying something or using a line is that it's authentic to you.

If it doesn't sound like something that is authentic or you sound like

you're reciting a rehearsed line, that's going to be the biggest turn off of all.

So you're way better off skipping a line, being your authentic self, being confident than trying to have the perfect, funny, witty, charismatic thing to say every time.

That's not realistic.

Yeah.

How intimidated are guys to date you since you're a dating coach?

Well, I'm married.

But before that.

Yeah.

Well, I've actually, so I've been a dating coach full-time since 2020.

When I met my husband, I worked in a different industry.

So yeah, he didn't have that aspect to be intimidated by.

That's funny.

What does he think of what you're doing?

He loves it.

He loves it.

He probably had friends struggling with it.

Yeah.

And I mean, I, I talk to him often all the time, or I talk to him all the time about it.

And a lot of the things that my clients and the guys I work with are struggling with are things he struggled with in his 20s and when he was younger.

Yeah, I used to be terrible at it.

I think it's like a confidence thing, too.

Oh, absolutely.

I didn't have the best confidence.

So translating that into dating, obviously, you're going to get in your own head.

Are you dating now?

Are you?

Yeah, fiancé.

We're getting married next year.

Congrats.

But prior to that, had no game, no confidence.

Where did you meet her?

We met on a dating app.

So I want to get your opinion on this.

Because I've actually seen you talk about Tinder.

But yeah, we met on Tinder.

Oh, wow.

Which is pretty rare, I feel like.

Yeah, it is.

I mean, not rare to meet online.

But Tinder, I would say,

is one of the lower intent dating apps.

It doesn't mean it's impossible, but there are more people looking for hookups.

And you could use an app with what I call higher intent, like maybe Bumble or...

Hinge where it's more relationship focused.

That being said, there's millions of users on all of the apps.

So you can find someone who's looking for what you're looking for on any of them.

Yeah.

And I was on that app before the bots started coming in.

So now there's these OF bots, these AI bots.

Yeah.

And I heard there's a lot of them.

Yeah.

Anywhere online or social media now you have that risk.

Like I've seen bots made of me that are like using my voice and stuff, which is really scary.

Yeah.

That's creepy.

So they have your voice?

Yeah, because I have so many reels out there and so much video online.

It still sounds fairly robotic, but I've had people send it to me that like someone has DM'd them and it's like a a robot version of me being like sending a voice note being like, this is Blaine, Dady Coach.

Like if you send me money, I will give you advice.

I'm like, no, don't do that.

It's not me.

No way.

I'll never send you a DM in a voice note.

I mean, eventually they'll be so good where it'll be one-on-one.

It's really scary.

Yeah.

And like have video too.

People have done that with my pod.

They've had my guest say all this crazy stuff for their product and they do this with Rogan Show too.

And then they run ads on it.

And they're getting tens of millions of views on these fake AI videos.

That's so scary.

It is really scary.

Yeah.

So those apps bumble.

What about Raya?

So Raya, I don't have a problem with Raya.

I would say from my experience using Raya and even what I see my clients and my friends on Raya, it because it is global, you're oftentimes seeing people all over, not just in your location, which inherently makes it harder to meet up.

And then oftentimes the type of people who are on Raya aren't necessarily, you know, it's more exclusive.

There's a lot of like celebrities.

There's a lot of Instagram influencers there.

They don't necessarily need dating apps to date.

They're meeting a lot of people without that.

They have a lot of people approaching them, asking them out.

in other places.

So they don't necessarily use it as a way to actually go on dates.

So even though you might match with people on Raya, the conversion to actually being on a date is much lower than other dating apps in my experience.

I could see that.

I see it more of like a networking thing.

Yeah.

To be honest.

And people use it for that.

Yeah.

And it's like kind of like seeing who else is there.

Right.

And now these apps have like a friend option, right?

Yeah.

Raya does.

Oh, they do.

Here just for friends.

Okay.

I'm going to have to talk to my fiancé because I'm always down to network, but yeah.

She never liked those apps.

Yeah.

Tinder has it too.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

But it's like

Bumble BFF.

That's like one to make friends.

Oh, yeah.

Bumble.

Yeah.

Bumbles.

Is it still where the girl has to message first?

No, now they have

changed it a little bit.

That's actually a recent update where the girl can put a prompt or a question on her profile So then the guy can message her first So I mean and that's not surprising, you know when you think about Women want to be approached if you think about it like evolutionarily like it is usually the man who is the one physically approaching and doing the initial legwork to get the attention from the woman So it's not surprising that like oh this app that like made the women do the first move realized like women don't actually want to make the first move and then made this update So to put the onus back on the guy Yeah, so do you coach mainly men or women?

Yeah.

My business is primarily men.

I have worked with women in the past and like a lot of the advice is the same, same.

But even from a business standpoint, when I got started, I knew it was important to pick Elaine and pick a segment and I chose men.

Right.

I mean, men probably would rather listen to you than another man about dating.

You'd be surprised.

I get a lot of, you know, like, why would you ask a fish how to fish type comments?

And like, girls don't actually know what they want.

Like, some men would definitely rather listen to a woman.

And like my clients, the men i work with want to hear from a woman but there's also a lot of guys out there who for whatever reason aren't comfortable learning from a woman don't believe women and but those i'm not i'm not trying to convince those people that i'm right you know like that's more of an ego thing i think yeah how has the red pill movement treated you probably terribly right i don't pay a lot of attention to it frankly it's just like not my sphere um we have differing approaches to dating and what we think makes sense for men and women right um but i wouldn't say I'm like overly bullied online that I know of.

Maybe I just don't know.

Yeah.

Do you put, how much emphasis do you put on the location, like where you meet the woman?

So that's very important.

Where you are spending time and trying to meet a woman or women generally can be, can determine whether you are successful dating or not.

If you're trying to meet women in the wrong places, you're not going to get women on dates with you.

So you and where is a good place to meet women is very dependent on the person.

Like, you know, whether or not

a bar or a club is a good place for you personally, I mean, a woman depends a lot on your personality and what your strengths are.

And quite frankly, bars and clubs, in my opinion, aren't great places to meet women if you're looking for a girlfriend.

Agreed, because it's loud.

You have nothing in common, except that you're both at that bar.

Alcohol is involved, which makes people act differently, be more inclined to like be rude oftentimes.

And if you, especially a lot of the clients I work with, would identify as shy or introverted or at least in certain settings.

So to stand out at a bar like where it's loud, like you said, where there's a lot of other competition and people is really tough.

Yeah.

What about a gym?

So I met my husband at the gym.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's definitely possible.

And I people.

There's definitely people in both camps.

I hear people say like, no, it's like a safe space.

You can't meet people there.

But I actually don't think that's true if you handle it correctly.

So the key thing is knowing what to do.

The gym absolutely is a safe space for a lot of people.

So you need to be able to read the room a little bit.

It's what I call a high stigma environment, which means you need to put in more upfront work before you ask her out.

You're not just going to approach a woman and ask her out immediately.

You need to qualify her first.

You need to understand, like, is it believable that she's single?

Is she showing interest back in me?

That's a very important one.

If she like has one headphone out and is like trying to get back to her workout, that's not a good signal that you should ask her out.

Right.

If she's asking you questions back, if she's talking to you, if she's holding eye contact, then you know that could mean green light.

But before I would ask her out, I would say you should actually get to know her over multiple interactions in the gym.

For example, when I met my husband, he introduced himself the first time, but he didn't ask me out that time.

But because he'd introduced himself, we had a short conversation.

Then when we'd see each other at the gym moving forward, we would talk again.

So we were able to get to know each other lightly over multiple interactions before he asked me out.

Smart.

He's playing a long game.

Yeah.

And that's like really what you have to do at the gym to like not, and you don't want to get the rap of like, this guy's at the gym just asking girls out left and right.

That's a bad word.

Every gym has that guy.

Yeah, you don't want to be that guy.

So you really want to make sure, because if you're speaking to her over multiple interactions, you might realize, hey, I don't want to ask her out.

We don't have that much in common.

She's not that smart.

You know, like whatever it is.

And then you can nix it.

And then maybe you ask somebody else out at a later time.

You don't like blow your one chance at the gym.

Absolutely.

Yeah, I like to people watch.

So I noticed at my gym, my lifetime, like girls seem pretty closed off.

Because first of all, all, they're super outnumbered.

Second of all, weird guys are looking at them.

Yeah.

And yeah, it's just a, it's a tough setting, but it worked for you.

Yeah, I think I, so we were at a workout class.

We were at a Barry's boot camp class and classes facilitate.

it better because before class after class there's times that make sense to to have a conversation you're standing around you're waiting for something you can talk about the class have you done this class before like do you like this instructor what'd you think of class there's built-in conversation topics where if you're just cold approaching a random girl at the gym, it's a little tougher.

And if you can't do it while she's working out, it's a no-go if she has her headphones in.

So it kind of has to be the perfect storm.

Like you're both at the smoothie bar at the same time, you're both at the water fountain at the same time.

And that requires a certain amount of luck.

Right.

Are you seeing an increasing amount of breakups these days compared to the past, you think?

No, I wouldn't say an increasing amount of breakups, but I do think people are struggling more to get into relationships initially.

And I think part of that is due to just having so many options, this illusion through Instagram and through dating apps and through OnlyFans that you have access to all of these, all of these options.

And that's not the case.

That's honestly an optical illusion.

Like, yes, you in theory can access these people, but creating connections is still very hard.

And so people always often have the mindset the grass is greener.

So they go on a first date and they don't feel the sparks and the fireworks aren't aren't going, then they're like, you know, I have like a whole list of these other people on

the dating app.

Like I'll just explore one of them rather than giving somebody a little bit more of a chance to develop that connection and explore a relationship with them first.

Yeah.

Guys call it a roster.

Yeah.

Girls call it a roster too.

Oh, girls.

Who's up on the roster next?

Oh, that's funny.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, I'd be curious what percentage of people are like in relationships compared to like years prior.

Yeah, I don't know how it compares to years prior, but I think it's, you know, if you're looking at like dating-aged women, something like two-thirds of women are already in a relationship, which ties back to needing to be resilient in dating.

So I, I, we like, we talked about dating apps.

I think dating apps are a necessary evil.

I think they are worth using to get in front of people you might not otherwise meet.

But they, if you are relying on them exclusively for your dating app, for your dating life, you're probably not going to have a thriving dating life.

You need to work on offline meetings, offline approaches too, which are harder.

So people don't want want to do it.

But

sorry, I lost my turn.

Where was I going with that with meetings?

Offline meetings.

Yeah.

Dating apps.

Yeah.

No, I could see that though, because most people rely on dating apps.

Yes, exactly.

And that's, you just, you can only go so far there.

And some people just aren't going to do as well on dating apps as others.

Now, I've heard most of the attractive women don't even use dating apps.

Is that true?

Yeah.

A lot of women, or they might use them here and there or for fun, but they're not relying.

They're certainly not relying on them.

And so guys might see them and they might even match with them, but then it doesn't lead to a date and they get frustrated.

Oh, that's what I was saying about approaching because so many women are in relationships.

Guys will approach three girls and be like, it's hopeless.

You know, no one is interested.

Like everyone's in a relationship.

And the reality is that a lot of people are just in relationships.

So it's a numbers game.

Right.

You have to be talking to a lot of women.

You have to be approaching a lot of women to find the ones who are single and like the ones that are going to be interested in you.

Yeah.

Wow.

I didn't know 66% of women were dating.

I think it's around that.

Yeah.

It's really high.

Yeah.

So you got, it's a numbers game.

So two out of three are dating.

So or like married or in a relationship.

Yeah.

That's super high, actually.

It's higher than I thought.

Yeah.

So you got to pretty much approach at least three girls then.

Cause if you're just putting all your eggs in one basket or two baskets.

you know they could be dating and that's why i say okay you can put 20 of your effort online but then 80 of your effort should be spent offline i love that and which which venues are you recommending people to go to so it's very specific to the person you should be spending time in places that you enjoy, that you thrive, that you feel confident, that the type of woman you want to date is going to be at.

So I like hobbies, things that you're already doing.

Not all hobbies are created equal.

Your video game habit is probably not going to lead to you meeting that many women.

But hey, if you've always been interested in taking a language course or taking an art class or a writing class or stand-up or yoga teacher training or the gym, like whatever your interests are, lean into those and spend time each and every week investing in them.

And you're going to meet like-minded people.

And even if that like-minded person,

you might meet people through those hobbies.

Maybe it's not your girlfriend, but it might be a friend who you now, okay, have things in common with, share values with.

That and friend invites you to a party and that's where you meet your girlfriend.

The whole idea is you want to expand your social circle and community offline to meet people like you who you could have a connection with.

What do you think of the wingman strategy?

Like going out together.

Yeah, like having a guy hype you up or a girl hype you up.

Yeah, I mean having friends is a great way to leverage improving your dating life.

If you are constantly having to go out solo, that's going to be tougher than if you're going out with friends.

If you have a friend to talk you up, like, you know, case in point, like I said, you meet a friend at one of your hobbies, then you go to a party with them.

Like they're going to be more inclined to talk you up to like that mutual friend.

Like, oh yeah, he's a great guy.

Like he's the man as opposed to like you showing up someplace by yourself and then you have to do all the work building the trust, creating the connection.

It definitely helps.

I know people that have like a gay best friend and then they'll use that guy to like talk to the other gender.

Yeah, that's actually a good one.

I also love as a place pickleball.

I think that's a very, I don't know if it's big in Vegas here.

Okay.

I feel like it's huge in most major cities at this point.

And it's very social.

Men and women play it.

It's not heavily skewed one way or the other.

It's easy to learn.

All levels can jump in.

So I love that as a way to meet more people.

Yeah, pickleball is an equalizer sport for sure.

What about DMs?

Have you ever seen someone slide in and it actually worked?

Yes, I've definitely seen it happen, but I would say guys rely on DMs too heavily.

Like if you are struggling on the dating apps, then trying to use Instagram as a dating app is probably just going to be more challenging.

And it works a lot of the same way.

You need to have decent pictures.

You need to look good online.

You need to be able to send a message that sticks out.

And the mistake guys make is like they're DMing these girls who have like 100,000 followers.

And it's like, yeah, you and 20 other guys have sent her a DM today.

So like, why you?

What's standing out about you?

And then the other problem is, are you, is she even going to see it?

So that's why it's a challenging strategy and definitely not one to rely on.

Yeah.

I've seen some of these girls inbox.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Literally 100 DMs a day.

It's nuts.

Yeah.

So like, why?

How?

I think it's more, what is more realistic is using that as a way to get in touch with like a mutual friend or someone who, you know, isn't an Instagram celebrity, isn't like a random person from the internet, but is someone you actually are one or two degrees removed from and you have a reasonable reason to reach out to them.

That's going to be a much more successful strategy in the DMs.

Like I get DMs all the time.

I literally wear a wedding ring on each hand.

I talk about being married on my platform.

And if you just spent two minutes like doing a little recon on my profile, you could skip it.

But guys don't.

They blindly will slide into women's DMs, and then it's like, oh, I'm discouraged.

And it's like, okay, what does she even live where you live?

Is she even single?

And then, like, why you?

That's not a good strategy.

Yeah, for real.

The distance thing is tough, too.

Yeah, really tough.

I don't see those working out for the most part.

Well, especially if you haven't met in person, you know, if you meet in person first, you like really hit it off.

You happen to live in other places or one person moves away.

That's much more realistic than starting a long-distance relationship with somebody you've never met in person.

Yeah.

So you went on one of my favorite shows, Shark Tank.

I'd love to hear about your experience.

I've had a couple of those guys on the pod.

Amazing.

It was a wonderful experience.

It was definitely a bucket list item.

It was way more nerve-wracking than I maybe like ever thought it would be.

I guess I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about like, what would it be like to be on Shark Tank?

You know, when you watch the show, you're just like sitting at home on your couch like that idiot, like whatever.

And it was definitely a big moment for me.

And I'm really happy I did it.

Nice.

Were you trying to get one of them in specifics?

Yeah.

Mark Cuban was the one I like really wanted.

I would have wanted to.

Yeah, because I feel like he's such an awesome, he is an awesome guy.

He is the type of guy a lot of the men I work with want to be like.

He's successful.

He has a family.

He's known as a good guy.

He does, you know, philanthropic.

So I felt like he would be a good shark for me.

And it ended up working out.

He made me an offer.

Nice.

Yeah.

Oh, you took it?

We didn't end up closing it after the fact.

Oh, the DD.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I heard a lot of those deals after.

I think it's like, what, 20, 30%?

It's a lot.

He was wonderful.

He was amazing to work with.

I just ultimately, you know, what you see on the show is literally what happens on stage.

And to actually take an investment from somebody, there is so much more that has to be discussed and figured out and agreed upon.

And it ultimately just didn't make sense for us.

Yeah.

Well, everything happens for a reason, right?

Yeah.

No, he's wonderful.

I don't have a bad thing to say about him.

Yeah, shout out to Mark.

I've been trying to get him on the show.

If you're watching this, Mark, I know you're going on a run right now.

I just saw him on Theo.

I saw him on a couple other ones.

Nice.

Yeah.

He's going through a lot of hate right now on Twitter.

So why?

Politics.

Oh,

I don't even know his politics.

Well, he's not into it, but he's

like talking about like he's promoted someone.

So

it's a very controversial thing.

I'm going to have to follow up on that after this.

Yeah, looking at that.

He's been getting torched.

Who do you think initiates breakup more?

Men or women?

So I'm going to make a very big generalization here.

Hot take.

I think relationships that are in their 20s, the woman tends to be the one who breaks up more because she has a higher cost on her time, like and she has more options.

And then when you get a bit older, like when people are in their 30s, it tends to be the man who initiates the breakup more often.

He's in less of a rush to take that next step to necessarily get married.

There's less of a timeline on biologically when he needs to progress relationships.

So he's more willing to end something and start anew.

Yeah, because in their 20s, girls want to have kids, right?

So they're kind of.

Or they're at least like thinking about like that as a possibility.

And women in their 20s are highly desirable.

They can meet, they can date men in their 20s.

They can date men in their 30s.

They can date men in their 40s and up.

Everyone is going to be interested in women in their 20s.

They're in their prime.

They're in their most like evolutionarily.

They're in their most fertile time.

Right.

So that's going to be, they are in high demand.

They are sought after and desired.

So they have more options.

Yeah.

And I see that with some some woman friends of mine.

They're really trying to rush it almost, you know, trying to find a guy to have kids with.

But I don't think relationships should be rushed.

No, I think they can't.

And I think, I mean, there's a lot of different

types of relationships.

And some people meet and get married immediately and have kids and it works out and they're married for 50 years and other people are, you know, together for 10 years before they get married and then get divorced within a year.

So I think, you know, rushing is less in my mind about exact timing and and more about how deeply you're connecting and while you're knowing each other and you're talking about like the big picture important things.

So that's what really needs to happen before taking a next step is making sure you're aligned on what the future should look like for both of you.

And when do you think it's the appropriate time to have that conversation?

Like around being exclusive.

Yeah.

So

I get this question a lot and there's no right answer for every relationship because every relationship is different.

I think I see men and women both trying to rush this.

And usually, the underlying reason is because they want to lock it down.

They feel fearful that the person is going to find somebody else.

And that is the wrong reason to want to be in an exclusive relationship.

I say you should not want to be exclusive with someone until you are aware of their flaws and want to be with them anyway.

Because if you're still in the honeymoon phase where you think they're perfect and everything is hunky-dory, then you actually don't know them well enough to want to be exclusive with them.

So,

at the very, very minimum, I would say like four or five dates, but that seems very soon.

And I think a more reasonable timeline is a few months of dating, two to three months of dating.

It depends off obviously, it also depends on how often you're hanging out and seeing each other and having the conversations that should be had before being exclusive.

Respectable.

So you're not a fan of sex on the first date?

Again, I think like there are definitely people who had sex on the first date and are happily married.

And there's plenty of people who that didn't work out for them.

opinion is that you are better off forming some sort of emotional connection before having the physical connection if you want a long-term relationship with this person if you're just looking to have fun and you just want to hook up like and both parties are into that like go for it but if you want things to progress further or you want to explore that possibility i recommend getting the emotional connection going first.

Sex can be awkward.

Sex can be weird, especially the first time.

So if it's like kind of awkward and you don't have an emotional connection yet, it's very easy for either party to be like, eh, like, I don't think they're the one.

Like, I'm just going to move on.

Whereas, if you already have an emotional connection, you've built some amount of trust, like the sex is more likely to be good, especially for the girl.

And then, if it is kind of weird or there's like, you know, that awkward moment, it's like, okay, well, I still really like this person.

We can like move past that.

Right.

I agree.

And that's where I differ from most guys.

I want that emotional connection before I ever do that with someone.

Yeah.

You know, but there's guys rocking up hundreds of bodies.

Yeah.

I think that's a very different.

I mean, it's just a different strategy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm friends with them, but

I say nod to somebody else off screen.

Oh, man.

People close to us know who I'm talking about.

So a lot of your clients are coming out of a divorce or a long-term relationship.

So they don't know how to pretty much flirt or talk to girls, right?

Yeah, I think the problem oftentimes if you're coming out of a divorce or a long-term relationship is that so much has changed.

The dating landscape has changed so rapidly.

Sure, dating apps existed 10 years ago, but they weren't, it's not like every single person was on them.

It wasn't so important to your dating life.

It wasn't so competitive.

And so they just like aren't sure how to text and appropriately communicate there.

Like, how much should they be texting?

They don't know how to make their dating apps.

They're just out of practice, really.

And so it's helpful for them to have someone like give them the blueprint of like, okay, here's what it's, here's what is expected of you.

Here's how I recommend implementing it.

Here's what you should be doing when you jump back into the dating pool.

Right.

I love how personalized your advice is because a lot of these coaches give such broad things to follow and then people follow it and it doesn't work.

Yeah.

I think that's a mistake I see a lot of coaches making and like people following.

One piece of advice isn't probably going to work for everybody.

Even advice I give online, I might say something and people are in the comments like, well, that doesn't work for this type of person.

It's like, yeah, that might not be like the system that is going to work for you based on your strengths or based on who you're looking to attract.

So dating is personalized and thriving in dating is even more personalized, but there are definitely blanket rules that apply across the board as well.

Absolutely.

So you're four years into coaching now.

Any of your clients get married yet?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I've been invited to tons of weddings.

I've had baby announcements.

Nice.

Yeah.

Things are moving quick now.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I've had at this point over 5,000 men go through my programs.

Wow.

Yeah.

So I've had actually like a good number of weddings.

Yeah.

I'd be curious over time, we'll see how your results like, maybe like what percentage of people are like succeeding from.

Yeah, people have different goals you know a lot of my clients are looking for long-term relationships and looking for marriage but i also have plenty of clients who are in their 20s and they don't have a lot of experience with women and sure one day they want to get married but right now they're just looking to have more options with women they're excited about right and have fun with it and that's okay too so it's like i don't count getting married as like my the ultimate success like for some people it is if that's your goal yeah there's a lot of other ways to be successful dating point yeah some guys just want to hook up maybe they don't want kids yeah so yeah yeah, I guess success is different when it comes to dating.

Yeah.

My goal for my clients is they feel confident.

They feel like they know what to do and when, and they feel like they have options with women that they are excited about.

Yeah.

That confidence can be learned.

Yeah.

Oh, definitely.

I think a big part of my issue was I didn't have a father figure.

So just that my confidence wasn't there.

Girls told me I was ugly growing up.

So yeah, I had to rebuild that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

I think confidence is really a baseline if you want to date attractive women.

And when I say attractive, I mean that more holistically, like women who are also confident, women who are secure with themselves, you know, you often will attract somebody at the same level sort of across any spectrum that you are.

So if you're a super needy guy, you're probably going to date and attract super needy women.

If you're not confident, you're not going to attract a confident woman.

So what you want to attract, you need to be yourself.

Agreed.

Yeah.

Cause in high school, like there was all sorts of people.

There was nerds.

There was athletes.

And now 10 years later, I see them getting married and stuff.

And yeah, there's a, there's a person out there for everyone.

Like, you know what I mean?

And I think that's an important call out.

Like, no matter how niche your interests or even like your sexual desires are, the world is vast.

The internet is big.

You can find that person.

Like, no matter what you're into, there is somebody else who is also into that and will be into you if you start doing the right stuff, if you put yourself out there.

100%.

Blaine, where can people get lessons from you and keep up with your social media?

Yeah, datingbyblaine.com, dating by Blaine across social media.

Get in touch and I would love to help you.

Cool, we'll link it below, guys.

If you need help dating, check out the links and we'll see you next time.

Peace.