Redefining Success: The Heart vs. Mind Dilemma | Jarek Tadla DSH #760

This time I said, like, when I'm gonna redesign this oldie attic, restructure this old attic, I want to do it my way and ask for all the help that I can possibly can.

A lot of men feel shame or guilt when they have anxiety or depression and they're scared to talk about it, you know.

I was hiding, man.

Like, I was hiding for so many years.

If the last thing didn't happen,

I would probably

wouldn't be here.

All right, guys, from Poland.

Moved here at 21.

Jarak Tadla.

Thanks for coming on man.

Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah, what was it like over there those first 21 years?

You know what?

It was

I think it was like a very good journey.

I needed so what happened is when I moved here I appreciated everything this this country has to offer and for being the immigrant and just see everything

how how accessible and the wealth because I moved here in 1993.

The steps was humongous.

And I'm telling you the second I pass like you know cross the border I got my green card.

I'm like, I'm not going to waste it.

Like, here, here you go.

We say in my country, like in the United States, you know, the money is, you know, is growing under trees and laying on the floors.

And it's like, I'm like,

you know, it's just, you have to learn and you have to kind of like see it.

But I immediately went to work and I did not waste any of my time.

I love it.

Did you come alone or with your family?

No, I came with my parents.

Okay.

Yeah.

My parents won the green card.

And what happened is, because I was under 21, I was six days before.

So

me and my sister immediately jumped on it.

Got it.

So that's how it came in.

My older brother came 10 years later because he did not qualify because he was over 21.

And did you all speak English?

Hell no.

Oh, you didn't?

No?

No.

That must have been tough now.

No.

But you know, what happens is when you,

in a society that everybody speaks English, it's easier.

Yeah.

Because, you know, you just merge.

And then, you know, everything around it.

It just takes like to comprehend.

It takes like three months and to speak at six months.

Oh, that's not bad.

Okay.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, you're 21, you're young.

You, you know, we observe the the knowledge like immediately.

So and that first job dishwasher, right?

Yes.

I did my research on you.

Oh.

Yeah.

But you know what, like I when I tell people this was my best job, people's like, why?

Why would you say that?

Because at that time I didn't speak any English.

So I was not involved in any politics, any like gossiping, anything.

I was just doing my job, going to, you know, going home, going to school, you know, English second language language, and then college, and I was happy.

And when I started listening to English, and I, you know, I understand all the politics and everything's going on and gossip, I was like, okay.

That's the one bad part about America.

The gossiping, the celebrity culture.

Yeah, but I don't think it's only in the U.S.

I think it's all over the world.

Yeah, India is a big Bollywood or whatever.

Yeah, it's probably worldwide, right?

People will always kind of hate on those more successful and famous.

Yeah, and now with the social media, I mean, you have access to everything.

Yeah, it's amplified.

Everywhere, yeah.

Yeah.

And now mental health because of social media is pretty bad.

And I know you talk a lot about that too.

I talk a lot about mental health and emotional fitness because

I went through so many

stages in my life that I wasn't completely aware of it.

You know, when all the stuff, like something really bad happened to me, I thought it just

I was a, you know, God was sending me a, you know, red flag to just wake up, wake up.

But I'm a slow learner.

It took me a while until I hit the bottom of the bottom.

And every time I hit the bottom of the bottom, I thought, that's the bottom of the bottom.

And then a few years later, I was like,

this was just a warning.

I was like, I give you a warning, man.

I give you a warning.

And like, you know, I'm telling you, I'm a slow learner.

But until I got the signal and awareness, and I want, that's why I'm here with the social media.

You know, social media is a gift and a curse.

You know,

you can use it for the good or for the bad.

Agreed.

And you know, we have like, you know, everybody have access to us, like, you know, own Bible.

And people know you and like family and friends.

But on a on a on a social media I mean you can I mean there's eight billion people yeah you know so you can really reach and connect with people that really need help and relate to with them you know rely with you with your message I'm very careful with my feed because it's easy to compare yourself on social media so I try not to follow people that flash their expensive lifestyle or cars or materialistic stuff I try to follow motivational people healthy people and my feed now is really good but I used to compare myself a lot'cause of social media.

Yeah.

You know.

The comparison game but here what it is my pet peeve my pet peeve is because it's unfortunate in this society depends how much money you're worth that's how much respect you get

and what happened is when i had the bottom of the bottom i need like fathers i need people that went through it and all those good fathers all the good examples they were not social media flushing all the stuff there were guys of fathers that were working two three jobs and i didn't have access to them and then i didn't want to listen to somebody who accomplished everything it's It's on social media.

But yet, it's like he's a douchebag.

He's not a good father.

He's not a good role model.

And it's hard to kind of find those right people.

And it was hard for me to find anybody that I can connect with that's going through the same stuff that I do.

How were you able to find that first mentor?

Well, what happened is

when I found my first mentor, I mean, you know, like I was always self-improvement.

So Tony Robbins was like, you know, since 2002, like I was deep, deep in with Tony Robbins.

And then after my ski accident in 2016, I found Raul, Raul Velesias, the Edge, the Edge group.

That's my brotherhood.

I've been with them eight years.

And he was the first guy that really woke me up.

Because like,

there is something, there's missing something in me.

I'm not happy.

But what happened is I didn't even know how to ask questions.

Like, I just don't like it.

Yeah, but why you don't like it?

Like, the feelings that I have, you know, it just first with the emotions and feelings, it's we don't understand them.

We feel them, but we don't get it.

Like, but this is not it.

You know, I'm like 40, 44,

44-year-old man.

Like, by

rules of society, I have everything.

Yet I'm miserable.

Like, there's emptiness inside.

And I started looking for answers, and I couldn't find it.

So I start, you know, hiring coaches and people, you know, because Tony Robbins is very big.

You know, you go to the seminars, there's thousands, thousands of people.

Yeah, you're not getting one-on-one with him.

Yeah, so I was looking for like a more intimate, you know, kind of one-on-one.

And that's how I found with the group.

Nice.

And then from then, the journey just started.

Dude, that's crazy.

So you almost died from that accident, right?

The ski accident?

The ski accident was very serious.

I did not die, but what happened, I was six months in hospital.

I got 13 surgeries in and out.

Jeez.

And I almost lost my leg.

I broke everything in my body, but however, the biggest problem was my leg.

I couldn't recover.

And

completely rewrite the story in my head.

Yeah.

Like completely.

Like I didn't realize how weak I am.

Wow.

Because like I could conquer everything I put my mind to it and yet I struggle with this.

But then I recover anyway, you know, because it's the, you know, I use my, you know, my work ethics and

I don't know how you, like, I always question myself in my voices,

were we born with the work ethics or were the parents give it to us I said

I you know because like why some people have it so much and some people don't right

so so I could always put my mind and get out of it so of course the recovery took two years and you know but the imposter syndrome in my head and and was kept telling me that hey you know you're not doing enough, you know, now you won't be a good father, you can play the soccer, you cannot, you know, at that time, I have four kids.

wow so what do you mean i cannot walk anymore in my life you know suddenly the not enoughness came in which is by the way in my book

i'm not gonna be great father i'm not gonna be enough i'm not gonna be enough for my kids and the story was getting worse and worse and worse i'm like i become a victim of my own circumstances that i created i mean this is nothing you just had a ski accident But because I recover, of course, you know, and the two years later, everything recovered.

You know, I forgot about it.

Wow.

So it's it's like, I'm in glory.

Yeah, I come out of it.

And then two years later, divorce.

I was like, whew, I'm like, are you kidding me?

But I was already mentally prepared.

I already was aware of emotional intelligence and fitness and awareness.

Oh, so you saw it coming?

So there's like, you know, yeah, so I was kind of like mentally prepared.

But I wasn't prepared.

I was like, oh shit, right, I was on the bottom of the bottom after the ski accident.

Right.

Boom, divorce.

Okay.

Then I recover after divorce.

Then my oldest child just, you know, move out and disown me.

Then the second child, I'm like,

God, why me?

Like, what did I do?

Wow, he disowned you?

Yeah.

Holy crap.

But now we good.

My kids can be there and I will love it, but it took me two years.

But the problem with all the inner works that it took, you know, because I become the douchebag, you know, I become the, you know, the guy to have everything.

And everybody, you know, I look at for

all my validation outside the world.

Like, you know, so if I want to be loved, I want to look at validation if I buy more stuff or I win another competition or, you know, I, you know, I buy more businesses and have more employees.

And that's what I look at for validations.

Right.

A lot of people think that way.

Yeah.

And so I become a product of the environment.

Yeah.

Exactly.

And I have to completely disconnect it.

And that's where the work started.

Wow.

So do you think you were so strict on your kids they kind of distanced themselves?

Yeah.

Because what happened is I was strict on myself.

I was, I'm telling you, brother, if the way I talk to myself, I would not have anybody around me.

I talk to myself like shit.

But that was like the motivation, you know what I mean?

You're motivated, like getting up at four o'clock in the morning, not going to gym.

It's like, oh my God, get up, get out.

Like, what are you loser?

The way I talk to myself,

it become my identity.

But also, even though I did not speak to other people, but I carry the energy but then i emptied the buck because you know because i want to you know just looking for validation from other people i empty my bucket and i become people pleaser and that depleted me more and more and more because i forgot about little yadaik wow i forgot about myself so when i hit the depression that the you know that i want to get out of the bed i was like oh my god like i'm empty I just give everything away.

But that's where the awareness started.

It was like, okay, now we're going to work.

And this is the work that I absolutely don't know how to do.

Because you have all the voices in your head and the imposter that you trained for 50 years.

And now imagine how you change your habits.

You know, it's hard.

So that's where you go.

And

you worry it yourself.

You were on your own for years, right?

Yeah.

So that must have been probably the lowest of the low right there.

Yes.

By yourself with all this money and probably a huge house.

Yeah, because what happened is I built the

the huge bunker around me and I didn't want

nobody in it.

But what happened is by me not allowing anybody in it, because everybody wants something from me.

I did not allow anybody in it.

Guess what?

I did not allow anybody out of it.

So all the pain always stay inside.

So when Raul helped me with taking the bricks down, I start opening and I just realized, you know, when I become vulnerable, how much people help me and just sharing the story and just, you know, being present and being vulnerable.

And it's like,

I was like,

I like that.

Yeah.

But the imposter and the devil, because the devil was still in my head, you know, yeah, you loser, you're not doing this, you know, you're not doing this.

It's like, you know, yeah, you're good here, but you're horrible here.

And it's the voices and me

understanding that I'm not the only, I thought that I'm the only one going through all these issues.

And I was like, I was born like that.

You know, I was going through the issues when i was swimming when i was in the high school when i was in the college when i was like you know building my careers and i was like that's why i kind of distance myself from anybody you know because i like and then i realized everybody is like that all the guys like all the men is like huh it's like i'm not the only one right and it's like we all have these voices you know it's like i thought this devil imposter just sitting in my head and just with me yeah and it's like oh we all have it you have it.

I'm like, I can guarantee you, like, you know.

Yeah, I talk to myself a lot, actually.

How is yourself, though?

Mine used to be very negative, dude.

I grew up in a household where my parents were very negative, pessimistic, and it took me years to change that.

Even still today, I get negative thoughts.

It's tough.

I think we all get negative thoughts.

We do.

And look at, I'm getting goosebumps.

What happened is the negative thoughts, like how quickly they build.

The little negative thought, it goes to the next one.

And next one is suddenly in the bubble.

It's like, holy shit, how did I end up here?

You know, it's like 40 minutes later, I'm just hate the whole world.

Like, you know, so I have to go back to the gratitude and being grateful.

And I meditate, pray, and it's like, you know, just reset myself.

I love that.

Yeah, but now I'm cutting myself a lot quicker.

But it takes, like, really, it took years and years to do that.

Yeah.

It didn't come overnight.

You know, like, in the beginning, like, I did not even know what the feeling is.

You know, I could not even describe it.

The only feelings I knew is like happy, not happy, or angry.

But that's why I could, you know, I got triggered triggered like immediately, you know?

So it's like, holy shit.

You couldn't control your anger?

Yeah, because you know, it's like you're carrying, well, why nobody can understand this shit?

Like, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Because you got all that emotion you're storing in your body.

You got to let it out.

Yeah.

So you would let it out through anger.

Exactly.

And, you know, when I had the depression, the last one, I was like, you know, I cannot, like, I, like, literally.

For three, four weeks, I could not get out of the bed.

Damn.

Like, like, I get, and me, like me, I could not get out of the bed.

Like, you know, my queen just literally, like, like when she opened the blinds, I'm like, bitch, I'm gonna

close the freaking blinds.

Like, you know, and she's like, I'm done.

Like, you getting out of the bed.

I'm like, no, I'm not.

I'm like, you are.

And I'm like, no, I'm not.

And she just kept pulling me.

And I went outside and I was like, look at, you know, I have this like a huge skylights in my house.

And I'm like, look at the clouds.

It's like, what the hell are you doing?

But I believe in my own thoughts.

First, I was sick like a day, two days, then the two days become a week.

And I was like, oh shit, you did not work out in a week.

You did not answer any phone calls.

You did not make any progress.

You did not read.

You did not like.

And then the new pain became the more painful.

And then I just,

the new pain become the fuel.

I forgot about all the other stuff that I was depressed about.

the new pain.

And I have to completely bury myself and start, you know, from the new, you know, from the new yaddic.

Like, you know, like, I was embarrassed like i walk 100 yards dude i swim three miles a day i bike 100 miles a day like i walk 150 yards like to the stop stop sign to from my house because i live on the end of the cul sock go fly and i was like that was nice but i cannot tell anybody hey i walked today 150 yards motherfucker you you you run 20 miles a day like what are you talking about you and i was excited because i could not go back to the old yatic that is doing the same thing because you know, I dropped the, you know, for so many months, I dropped it.

So, you can, you know, so,

but this time I said, like, when I'm gonna redesign this old attic, restructure this old attic, I want to do it my way

and ask for all the help that I can possibly can.

That's that's important.

A lot of men feel shame or guilt when they have anxiety or depression and they're scared to talk about it, you know.

So, that's powerful that you shared that.

I was hiding, man.

Like, I was hiding for so many years.

And if the last thing didn't happen, I would probably

wouldn't be here.

Wow.

I wouldn't be here.

You know, I become a part of the brotherhood, the tribe.

When I really hit the suicidal thoughts, I mean, I was so lazy in bed.

Can you imagine being so lazy?

I have my boat outside the house with all the scuba directive tanks.

And I was so lazy because now I have to call my captain.

I cannot drive the boat.

because then if I if I go and you know go and to the to the water with the scuba die tank like you know go 100 yards it's the easiest death i'm like what's gonna happen with the boat so i cannot call him i'm not gonna commit suicide in front of my captain that i know him for 12 years you know what i mean so i have to do it alone i was so lazy to walk thank god i was so lazy because that's what we hear you know i mean and that was hard wow you know or then driving to my title company they're on 28th floor so jumped off the building i'm like no maybe i'm not gonna jump because

What if I change my mind in the middle?

You know what I mean?

Thanks.

You really had these thoughts.

Oh, it was bad.

Like, it was done.

done like i was like and it's like yadak you

you really when you you when you put your mind to it you do it and that it scared me even more wow and my whole is like we have this phone calls every single day just think of your kids think of your kids think of your kids and that completely get me out of it but it was like a day by day and it was like people say there was like any jump no it was a long ass process I feel that, yeah, I saw you say on another podcast, kids are here to teach us lessons.

Yes.

Yeah, I believe that too.

Yeah, because what happened is like do you have any kids i want kids we just got uh engaged we're getting married next year nice and i want at least two three kids so nice so i got five nice yeah so believe me all the pain and all the stuff that you know you see it you know in you so our kids are really like like my kids are best lessons for me because they taught me everything you know i struggle with you know it's like they are the mirrors like when you see what and the kids always give you the feelings they don't know how to tell you how they feel, they act up.

They want us like dad, please feel this.

Like, I don't like this stuff.

And, you know, and then when you start feeling and you're just understanding, you're like, shit, that shit triggers shit out of me because that's, I still not resolved.

They're inside me.

They're still my issue.

But yet, you know, I did not ever realize it.

So.

I look forward to it, man.

Yeah.

I didn't want them for a while, but my opinion has changed on kids yeah you know i'm telling you after one two it's like

three four five there's no difference there's like you know elon musk has 11 now i think yes that's a lot man yeah you want more yeah you know what no

you know i can tell you my oldest one i love my like i love my kids and my my my daughter she taught me good lessons very painful lessons and i i gotta tell you without those lessons

i need those lessons because even i always got out of it without kind of cheating and finding the ways out.

You know what I mean?

And my oldest one, they really taught me the lessons.

It's like, you know, because I was never present.

I was always like that.

It's like, why are you guys complaining?

You guys have everything you can imagine.

Like, you know, the only thing they wanted, they want to spend time with me.

Yeah.

And I never, like, you know,

I just did 100 miles on the bike.

I'm tired.

I have this important phone call.

There's something going on in my business.

That's like, I always figure out something.

I never want to be present.

Yeah.

And

they want to just spend time with me.

Because they, like, that love me.

It's like, give me your time.

But I give time to everybody else, not to my kids.

But most importantly, I always forget about myself.

You know what I mean?

You put yourself last.

Yeah, I put myself last.

Wow.

And then the bucket here got emptier and emptier, and that's where the pain came.

And then, you know, and then on the unconscious mind, conscious mind,

they were going both directions.

I always tell people the devil lives right here

and God and love lives right over here and the light.

And it's funny, all my financial decisions, all my relationship decisions, any good decisions in my life, I made it from here.

Wow.

All the decisions.

And then this is always screw up everything.

Really?

Your brain?

Yeah.

Because we make decisions, everything we make, all the decisions we make in our mind is based on the experience.

You know, we perceive our reality the way we see it.

And sometimes we have to step out of ourselves.

and just give ourselves the opinion and give ourselves different perspective.

Interesting.

But with the, you know, and in the in the head, we know we know we always manipulate everything.

What is like, you know, we can manipulate it.

In the heart, it's like, no, that's what I want to do.

That's true.

It's easy to lie to yourself.

Yeah.

You know, and justify it.

Yeah, people said the gut feeling is the thing.

It is gut feeling.

It's like, you know, it's right here.

You feel it.

Yeah.

And the best of the best of the deals, you know what I mean?

And the best deals that I didn't do it, I took myself out of it in my head.

I started over analyzing, you know, well, now you're older.

You got it.

I want this.

That's it.

I'm like a little kid, three-year-old kid.

I want this, I want this, you know, 100 units now.

Uh, and then it's like, no, that's that's we have to do this, this, and it's you know, I mean, yeah, because your brain sees the numbers, right, and it looks good, but then the business partner, your gut's telling you not to work with that person, exactly, and then it ends up going bad, exactly.

Yeah, your gut's never wrong, man.

Nope, crazy, nope, it must be some like energy field or something that your gut can sense, you know.

You know, the older inner work I do right now is

I've done ayahuasca.

My friend told me,

I know you for like 20 years.

I know you don't believe in any shortcuts.

People around you, they know like you freaking work hard and there's no shortcuts or anything.

But there's a shortcut.

I'm like, dude, don't say these words.

I'm in so much pain.

Dude, there is a shortcut.

So I went to the ayahuasca experience.

I got out of it.

I'm like...

Holy shit.

You know, first of my, like, you know, like, really, my soul, my, you know, unconscious mind, conscious mind, the first, they went to war.

Like, they went to war, like constantly.

And then, like, you know, after a few hours, they start loving each other and they start guiding her.

This direction we're going, this direction we're going.

And that's when the peace came.

But I'm not going to be on the medicine all the time, right?

So it's like, you know, that's that's where the work, the reading, and surrounding with the right people, and you know, work started.

So, it was a good experience, it was definitely a good experience.

Nice.

I've been considering taking it.

Yeah, so you'd recommend it?

I would highly recommend it.

Okay, yeah, you got to go to like Brazil or something, right?

Peru?

Well, there's is like,

I did in Orlando.

Orlando.

Yeah.

Those are, you know, guys from Peru and from Costa Rica.

And what I like,

it's a husband and wife.

So you have the masculine and feminine energy.

Yeah.

So you kind of like connected with the nature and everything else.

And I would highly recommend it.

It definitely helped me.

Did you leave your body?

Yes, seven times.

Oh my gosh.

You took it seven times?

Seven times.

Holy crap.

It was a few hours, the first few hours was horrendous.

Wow.

I perched a lot.

The pain was unbelievable.

But what happened is, it was keep telling me you have to bury the odiotic.

Like, he's not serving you.

He's like, you know what I mean?

And it's funny that then when you go to the conscious mind and then you got out of the medicine and the life starts, you're like, I like that, I don't like that.

And then, you know, at least you have something that can relieve it the in the back of your head.

You know, it's cool.

Oh, man.

Did you see aliens?

No.

Okay.

No.

I really see myself.

I saw all the pain I went through like a child who, like, I wasn't even aware of all the stuff that happened to me.

Wow.

I was like, I, you know, because we remember the story we tell ourselves.

Yeah.

You know, but suddenly all the experience that I was like, oh my God, I never even remember that.

This like a lot of past pain

I remember from like when I was two years old, three years old.

Wow.

Like the the the last last memory i always have is was like when i was seven and during the medicine uh it was truly like i was two three years old dang you know like i

if like even a year like it really went went down

yeah i don't remember anything before like six seven yeah that's yeah so but there's some trauma because you're you're still registering that emotional trauma right when you're that little so you don't even know that you have it brother we carry a lot of wounds man yeah and it's like you know when you start doing the inner work and it's funny when when you share what you do, and like, you know, when you share stuff, you learn a lot about yourself.

And when you listen to the other people, you're like, oh my God.

I never even think of that.

Yeah.

I give myself, like, I really, like, I surround myself with a lot of people, and I try to get out of my head.

You know what I mean?

Because, and, and to give myself perspective from, you know, other people.

Yeah, this podcast has been amazing for my self-development, honestly.

Yeah.

You know, because I never used to talk to people about my problems.

Like, I was pretty anti-therapy.

I didn't believe in it.

But I think talking is important.

Yeah, because as guys, you want to keep that shit bottled in, you know?

No.

It's looked at as weak.

Exactly.

You're weak.

You're soft.

You know, like, it's like, well, what are you talking about?

Like, you, you're a man.

You know that I never cried?

Really?

Never, ever.

Not one time.

Listen, never, ever.

I did not cry.

This was a point of weakness.

When I met Raul

and he went through the process,

I started crying eight times a day.

Damn.

I'm like, and you know the story that men crying is weak?

Nope.

It just releases the emotions that

you don't carry

otherwise.

So me by kind of releasing my tears, what it does.

It's better to release the tears than lose my temper on somebody else who doesn't deserve it.

Because if people do do something, if they don't do it, the stuff doesn't trigger because of them.

The stuff triggers you inside that it's a trauma or wound that you didn't resolve it, but you see in other people.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So

he doesn't work hard enough.

This is like,

because I cheat, I, you know, I find a way.

So it's like, you know, you know, and it's like you see the stuff, like, you know, absolutely expectations.

Did you interview Patrick Bat David?

No, he's my neighbor.

Oh, he's your neighbor.

Okay.

I saw a video, I think, on your YouTube with him.

We are neighbors.

Got it.

Yeah, we live.

He moved in to my island

I think three years ago.

You got a $20 million house, right?

Yeah.

Something crazy.

Yeah.

Wow.

That's a good neighbor to have.

That's a good neighbor.

I surround myself with good people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, I have Lil Messi parking and knocking on my door.

Yada,

can I park my cars over here?

So

yeah, I put Lil Messi in our island, you know, put the deal together.

So the guy, he was going to buy my house.

And then because I have a master bedroom on the main floor, and he got three boys.

And on the, you know, on the other master bedroom, the bedroom, the kids' bedroom was on the second floor.

You know, they didn't want to buy the house.

So we showed my friend the house, and my friend was like, well, I sell it if you buy my house.

So we put all the deals together.

That's smart.

Yeah.

Wait, so you sold your house?

Yes.

Oh, so you're not neighbors with Patrick anymore?

No, I have four houses over there on this island and I live like a two block.

Oh, wow.

So we're still neighbors.

Dang.

Now it's like, you know, like, yeah yeah now I'm building a house two houses down from him nice

four houses there so you really like that area yeah you saw a lot of potential in it that's my business yeah real estate that's how you made all your money right yeah how do you get into that was it from Grant Cardone or someone oh no no no no no I

you know what it's again it's a story talking to people okay

this was like I have a one one conversation it was 90 95 I was the last year of college and I live upstate New York and there was one conversation at that time was my girlfriend family

and and they said they live in the Faultlex they rent three of them and they

and they live in one

and I'm like what

and I you know we got home and there was the one conversation we got home and I told my girlfriend at that time hey we're getting married We're telling everybody no gifts, just money.

And we're going to use the money and I'm going to sell everything we have, you know, because I was buying and selling house you know I mean cars yeah and then like you know because I was like a waiter I was then working restaurants and selling cars so I'm gonna sell all the cars and everything else and we're gonna buy a fourplex

I have no idea I thought the only thing I'm gonna buy I'm gonna buy a fourplex live in one of the units and that three people gonna pay for my rent for my mortgage and I'm done yeah and then the fourplex becomes second fourplex then the third fourplex then the fourplexes become 12 units, 17 units, then 50 units, then 100 units, then 100, then 1,000, 2,000.

Jeez.

And then the game just never stopped.

Wow.

What about the 08 crash?

Did that affect you?

Well, I always tell people that I win latterly in 2008.

Yeah?

Yeah.

How'd you stay clear of that?

Because a lot of people got wrecked.

Well, here, what happened is

when I bought all this stuff in real estate in 2001, 2002,

and I have,

I don't know, got feeling again.

I listen, you know, it's like everybody's too late.

It's too late.

I was in Denver, Colorado.

It's too late.

It's too late.

So I started doing foreclosures.

So I prepared for the crash.

I did not time it right, of course, because by 2006, I was having all the, start raising money for everybody, and the crash wasn't happening.

And then

when 2008 crash happened, I started buying everything like, you know, for like 10 cents on a dollar.

10 cents on a dollar?

Yeah, so I did not even sell any of my properties.

but suddenly when I bought my properties, like my fourplexes, for example, at $60,000, $70,000 a door, suddenly I was buying 100 units at $10,000, $17,000 a door.

Wow.

So I knew I cannot be wrong.

Like I knew I can be wrong.

And then,

you know, after that, after the crash, you know, I did so good because then the market went up, so I bought everything I can put my hands on.

And I retired again in 2010.

Oh, it's you're retired.

Well, I retire many times, man.

But I retired so many times, and it's like, and that's what the mental bottle started.

Because, you know, instead of like, because we, as a man,

we do need a purpose.

Without purpose, we're dying.

The money, you can get the money.

The money doesn't give you any happiness.

If you don't have a purpose, you're done.

Facts.

So, you know what I mean?

So then what happened is, oh, I want to have more kids.

You know, it's like when you quit smoking, you're going to start drinking.

When you quit drinking, you're going to start smoking or start eating more.

You know, we substitute our addictions.

And, you know, we, like people that are like successful people they are addicts like any successful person I know there is an addict and I'm addicted but now we can use it in a good direction or bad direction

you know

and so then you know I have two more kids

oh because I missed it you know because in my my oldest ones you know I the girl was always working like I work twenty twenty two hours a day damn like I was falling on the on a on a on a on a desk and then you know going back to work.

And then son, I have all the time in the world, so let's have more kids.

and then dead dead that took two years okay i'm bored okay let's start start doing iron okay so now training so then i came and start training like over training you know one iron second then start winning competition start winning everything and then ski accident happen

and it's so it's it's it we just substitute for for another addiction yeah i don't think i'll ever retire man yeah even if i have a hundred million a billion i don't think i'll retire you will not i love working no like doing this is so fun.

I feel so fulfilled.

I'm getting, yeah, that's like you see, that's what I because you found your purpose in fulfillment.

Yeah, and I'm telling you, when you find a purpose, it's like, and it's funny, like, when I was going through my journey, and then people were like, wow, find something what you love, find something what you love.

And I was the first douchebag, like, shut the fuck up.

It's like, dude, you got to make money.

What are you talking about?

Like, you know, find something you love.

And I realized that you can make money and you'll be miserable.

And like at 20, like my journey, like literally 20 years, like I was always miserable.

You know, because it's like

at one point it's like, okay, you got 10 million, then you got 100 million, then you have 200 million.

It just doesn't, it doesn't fulfill you anymore.

You know, you need to have something that, you know, they have that infinite game, so it never stops.

Absolutely.

You know?

And you definitely found the right thing.

I found it.

Yeah.

This platform, being able to share messages like yours and seeing the comments and the messages I get daily now, saving people's lives.

There's been a couple suicides we've stopped that I know of.

It's powerful, man.

I feel really fulfilled.

You touch the subject, sorry, I'm getting this one.

When you get to the level of suicide,

you really, your mind

you disconnect.

You literally hear the voices that were never in your head.

And you're like, where is this coming from?

And you become so delusional that you really, your reality is the voice.

And the problem is that the voice that we created.

And it's hard to get out.

If you, like, like the first thing, if anybody thinks of suicide or any even start having even have those thoughts, and

I'm not saying go to freaking therapist.

Talk to somebody.

Talk to your friends.

Talk to somebody.

Just don't hide it.

It's like when you just get this stuff out,

that's where the first step starts.

And but

I didn't want to even tell what I'm going through because that would be

he's weak.

But my voice,

the longer I waited,

the voice got so loud and so clear that I was scared of the voice.

Wow.

And I know it wasn't mine.

Like I know I was so delusional that I believe in the bullshit I'm telling myself.

Like I was that suddenly you believe the bullshit story story you're telling yourself.

And if I'm on the top of the mountains and I have those issues, what about if people that have real problems?

Because I have no problem at all.

When 2022 happened, I just got out of

toxic relationship, toxic divorce.

I made so much money during COVID.

I mean, like, it's sick.

Because, you know, when COVID happened, like all the real estate just boom, right?

Yeah.

I find a queen of my life.

I have a good relationship with my kids.

I mean, I have everything,

but yet I'm empty inside.

And the voices, I just believe those voices.

And I truly, I believe in the voices.

And I couldn't believe it, how delusional I was.

Wow.

And until I started, like, hey, I think I have a problem.

You know, I don't drink, I don't do drugs.

Like, I like there's something like, you know what I mean?

And I think, and, and somebody, some people laugh.

It's like, dude, you don't have a problem.

I'm like, don't tell me I do have a problem.

But thank God I already have the tools.

I have the coaches.

I have everybody.

You know what I mean?

So at least they took it serious.

Right.

And they just walked me through.

That brotherhood.

Yeah, the brotherhood.

That's powerful.

Because if we're not part of the, you know,

when you in the, like in the in the tribe, because we got to be part of something.

You know, like, even, and you don't have,

I'm talking about men because, you know, we are men and I'm men, so I don't know how women think.

But if you if you kind of feel that you part of something and you know you're in the tribe or brotherhood that

you can be vulnerable and nobody's gonna judge you,

it's got easier.

You know what I mean?

And then you know when you're not alone.

Because sometimes like, you know, like I love

my queen, but there's some stuff you cannot tell.

Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean?

There's some stuff that we gotta, you know.

And when you have somebody that you can really like vent, And you know the venting, you're not gonna be criticized for it or you're not gonna be judged for it.

And then it's like, hey,

how do we resolve this?

And then we just move on.

And it's, and suddenly, even in somebody talk about his problem.

Like you said, like, you, you create this platform, right?

But in the brotherhood.

And he's like, is he fucking with me?

He's talking about me.

This is what I'm like.

This is my voice.

Like, what is, you know, and then you get the lessons, you know, how they deal with this stuff.

And then, you know, we develop.

Agreed.

But we got to be part of the group.

We cannot, you, you cannot do anything alone.

Yeah.

Without relationships, like, you know, I mean, without even like a relationship with Sam, 14 years, I wouldn't be here.

I wouldn't be here.

Yeah.

And, you know, it's funny, like, we talk, we cry, we just, we just, we just do everything.

It's like, hey, you know?

I love that.

Yeah, Brotherhood's changed my life too.

Yeah.

I joined one when I was 21, and they these guys took me under their wing and it changed everything for me.

It's important to be around guys like that.

Okay.

Tell me about your brotherhood.

It's a mastermind, Dan Fleischman's mastermind, 100 million mastermind.

And I was the brokest one there.

I was the young but I was also the youngest.

So they liked that young energy, you know.

So they took me under their wing, and now I'm best friends with some of those guys six years later.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I always tell, you surround yourself with the five alcoholics, you become the sixth one.

You surround yourself with the five cyclists, you're going to be the sixth one.

You surround yourself with like five visionaries, you're going to be the sixth one.

You surround yourself with the five millionaires, you're going to be the sixth one.

And it's like, you really, it's like finding and being a part of it and getting the advices.

You know, know, sometimes I get advice.

Just I didn't even ask for it.

And it's like, oh,

thank you.

I gotta go, brother.

Like, whoa, what did I say?

You did something.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

And it's like, you know, like right away, text my office or it's like, hey, you know, that's what I thought.

You take action.

Yeah.

That's why you're successful, man.

Yarak, it's been cool.

Anything you want to, I know you got a book.

Anything else you want to promote or close off with?

No, just my book and just, you know, just bring awareness to emotional fitness and the mental.

Because we all go through the struggle and just share the message and just open up and just just just

you know.

And I know that we scared like some man, we scared, but uh, it feels good.

Yeah, powerful.

We'll link your uh Instagram below and your book.

Thanks for coming on, man.

Thank you, buddy.

Yeah, thanks for watching, guys.

As always, I will see you tomorrow.