The Brutal 18-Hour Days That Built My Empire | John Malott DSH #620

It was those 12, 16, you know, sometimes 18 hour days that were the difference maker.

Well, other people were, you know, like I hang out a lot now.

People see the lifestyle now, but back then, you would never find me in a club.

I wouldn't be at the beach.

You know, it was like I was grinding.

Wow.

This shit had to happen.

We took all the televisions out of the house for five years.

Damn, because I was committed.

My kids hated me.

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Ladies and gentlemen, we are here with one of the first people I've ever met in the social media space, John Malat.

Thanks for coming on, man.

Yo, we finally, finally are making this happen.

Dude, your networking event was the first one I ever went to in Arizona.

That was the very first one.

The Builder Empire one.

Dang.

Yeah.

You know what's crazy about those events?

Melitza out of Miami, she's running the Epic Epic Talks.

We've seen, and that was one of her first events ever.

So we've, I've been around now to so many different podcasts and spoke at so many events that say that build your empire, that forum was the catalyst for them to do these big things.

Dude, look at me.

I'm having events too now.

Every month.

Yeah, and you're killing it, man.

I'm watching.

I see it.

I feel like a proud papa sometimes when I see this stuff.

Like, yeah, I remember him when he was, you know, that.

You've been at it for a while.

Long time, man.

This, yeah, we're going on three decades of hustling.

So I'm curious about your 20s financially what was that like broke um well i was incarcerated so you know that was that was that was a challenge it kind of it inhibited my entrepreneurial uh drive yeah because i i i had uh i had a lot of challenges young so i really what's crazy i really didn't get any momentum until i started really hustling after i was released

24

i realized bum or entrepreneur were really the only two options options available because of criminal record and things like that.

So

it wasn't until about 30 when I started making some decent money as an entrepreneur.

My first year as a full-time entrepreneur, I made four grand for the whole year.

So you can tell I just sucked really, really bad.

But

I was determined.

So I just stayed in the game, man.

I think if there's a claim to fame that I have, I just never, never quit.

Yeah.

Never stopped.

Did you have a good support system?

No.

No, unfortunately unfortunately not.

My mom left when I was really young.

My dad was a steel worker,

great support person,

but didn't have the wherewithal.

You know,

what he instilled in me was a great work ethic.

Right.

Like, go to work, man, outwork everybody type stuff.

Yeah, it wasn't like a knowledge.

It was more just.

Yeah, which thank God that I got the work ethic part.

Because I see a lot of people with knowledge, but they don't have the work ethic.

Right.

Because you can get the knowledge, but if you don't have the work ethic, man, this is a bumpy i'm the same way my first five years of entrepreneurship work ethic but then i went to seek knowledge and mentorship going to events like yours dan fleshman's and stuff smart that's what you got to do man you have to yeah if you don't i mean it's i i see a lot of i see a lot of smart people that are not getting traction and not making big money

because they're not putting in the the deal.

You know, it was those 12, 16, you know, sometimes 18 hour days that were the difference maker.

Well, other people were, you know, like I hang out a lot now.

People see the lifestyle now, but back then, you would never find me in a club.

I wouldn't be at the beach.

You know, it was like I was grinding.

Like, this shit had to happen.

We took all the televisions out of the house for five years.

Damn.

Because I was committed.

My kids hated me.

But we actually read books, man, and played Monopoly.

Yeah.

You know, so

that's interesting.

Yeah.

It was.

I did see you on another show talk about your first kid and you had some regrets there about not spending time.

Yeah, all of my, I have four daughters, so all of my kids got a different version of me right you know the lauren who just made me a grandfather but don't call me grandpa i'm trying to find a better name than grandpa it sounds too old um

i just wasn't there because i was everywhere else i was wild and i was dealing with legal issues um i just Yeah, so she had, she had it the toughest.

It's interesting because she is the kindest.

You can can just see the difference in her because she had the struggles.

And then my next daughter had a little bit better because I was, you know, starting to change my ways.

And that was manifesting inside of the house.

And when I discovered, when I really got into personal development, when it's like, okay, because I always had kind of from a drug rehab facility when I was 17 years old, a guy gave me a book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

So I always had like one foot in personal development, one foot in the hood.

One foot causing and wreaking havoc in in the streets and one foot, like

there's, there's got to be a better, you know, scenario.

So, so each, yeah, each daughter had it, had it better.

Yeah, a lot of the parental stuff rubs off on the children.

Sure, does without the kids even noticing.

It really does.

Yeah, I just found out recently that I had some childhood things I needed to address, and I just got so used to it, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, you kind of block stuff out.

You know, there's things that came to light from my childhood that I was like, I never even thought about.

Right.

You know, and I, and that's part of the mind is to protect ourselves sometimes from ourselves.

We block this.

I have a short-term memory because

I think I have to have a short-term memory.

Yeah, you got some trauma there.

I do have some trauma, bro.

You see that tear welling up in my eyes.

Yeah, you said you grew up in a rough area?

Yeah,

it was rough.

You know, anytime you're the only one that looks like you look in an environment,

you tend to be a little bit of a target.

And that was you know that was my scenario dang but it you know it may it made me strong it it it it builds you have to become courageous because like i couldn't go to high school because

it was it was separated by the the way you wore your hat really like the colors that you wore in your neighborhood holy crap and the high school that I was bussed to,

it wasn't my people, so to speak.

And so I couldn't be in the hallways when everybody else was in the hallways because it was a dangerous

crap.

That is crazy.

And they would be waiting by my locker.

So, you know, eventually I stopped going to high school.

Yeah.

Because you hear these stories of if you wear like red in the wrong neighborhood, it's a threat.

Yeah, you know, with that back then, it was.

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You know, Latin Kings, Black Gangster Disciples, and Vice Lord.

And so I was,

when I was in my neighborhood, it was fine, but it was just weird.

You know, when I look back, it's like, what a weird deal.

Yeah.

Like, that is interesting.

So you separated neighborhoods based on weird shit.

So you didn't have a clique, like a tribe of guys, young guys to hang out with?

I did.

I did.

But when I would go into different neighborhoods or different environments, they weren't always there.

Wow.

So that's when issues would arise.

Damn.

And later on, like, I've always had a little bit of a challenge with authority.

So even in my own clique,

I would, they would have these what are called violations, you know, because I violated rules.

And all the rules to me just seem so like,

who really came up with these rules?

Yeah.

I just wanted to party, have a good time, and meet girls.

You know, that was kind of my thing.

What was the rule you violated?

I would disrespect if Manny Fuentes, if you're out there listening, Manny Fuentes was the second leader of our little clique.

And like, I would, I just would talk shit.

And

one time, Manny brought it up at Lupe Pineta's house

at a meeting.

Damn, you're remembering first and last.

I remember all of it, bro.

That was traumatized.

You know, because you're beat, like, you're beat physically beat.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

And it was at a party, so it's in front of girls that you like.

Damn.

So it's traumatized.

It's embarrassing.

And yeah, it was.

Yeah.

So.

Damn.

That's a rough neighborhood.

Yeah.

I got trauma from just saying the wrong things to girls, but you're getting beat up in front of girls.

That's a whole lot of things.

Yeah, no, that's.

Yeah, it wasn't pretty sometimes they felt bad for me afterwards so there were some benefits later on but how'd you eventually escape that stuff um entrepreneurship

and there was a point and really i had a i had a heart attack from smoking cocaine at 17 years old holy crap and it seems like a major it was a blessing you know looking back that was that was really the catalyst 15 years old was my first felony arrest so that was the first time i was incarcerated as a as a juvenile for robbing a movie theater

and

in that facility, it didn't change.

There was no rehabilitation.

Matter of fact, we just talked about how we would be better criminals coming out.

It was like, there was no, like, it wasn't that we were not going to commit crimes or we were remorseful for the crimes we committed.

It was an incubator to make you a better criminal.

Wow.

But the drug rehab is where a man came into my life, a former outlaw motorcycle gang member, Dave, you know, changed my life forever.

He was the first guy who, number one, said, stop being a victim.

And I never thought of myself as a victim,

but he said, he said, all of my language suggests I'm a victim because I blamed everybody.

My mom left.

You know, we didn't have money.

The police, of course,

it's interesting how I didn't have issues with the police after I stopped committing crimes.

The police were terrible when I was committing crimes.

I hated them.

They were unfair.

Teachers, of course, because I dropped out of high school.

It just went on and on.

And he said, stop being a little biach, basically.

You know, it's you.

And he basically said, you made an appointment to be here.

You can blame everybody else.

But, you know, and he said, for you, the bad news is you made the appointment to be here.

The good news is I can help you make a new appointment.

And then he was the guy who gave me the book, How to Win Friends Influence People.

Classic.

Man, it was my, I didn't know that information existed.

And, you know, I lost my sister, the heroin, overdose at 21

when she was 21.

My brother, he's been in and out of trouble his whole life.

He's two years younger than than me.

He looks like he's 30 years older than me, and he just can't get it together.

And I think a lot of that is responsibility.

Coming out of there, I still didn't take responsibility, but the seed was planted.

So I started to evaluate the things.

I evaluated my contribution to my problems instead of saying it's you or that person.

Right.

And it's so easy to be like that.

Man.

I was like that too, growing up.

So easy.

I mean, it's just easy.

You put the blame on someone else and you're good.

Yeah.

Like, I'm going to keep rolling.

Yeah.

Take accountability.

People still struggle with that right now, even in their adult years.

I know a lot of grown people.

You know, I always like people think that age has something to do with wisdom.

Like, they think because you're older, you're wiser.

I said, no, there's a lot of dumb old people.

It's evaluated experiences.

It's not even just experiences that make you wiser.

It's evaluated.

It's like do something and then evaluate it.

And that's what I've learned to do every time.

Like we leave here, I'm always doing plan to review.

Every Friday, my wife and I do a plan to review session.

We review the week.

We plan out the the next week, and then we go crush it for the week.

That's cool.

Yeah, and it's a way to evaluate all of your experiences that you're having.

Like, we just got back from Dubai, and by the way, amazing, amazing place.

I need to get out there.

Oh, you'll, it's from an

entrepreneur to go there and don't just go there to see all the incredible things they've built.

But we did a deep dive into like the back end, like the family that's been there, you know, that was in the Pearl business in the 1800s.

I mean, just it's just insane what the philosophy there is catered towards producers.

Politics is second or third.

We're everywhere else in the Middle East, pretty much everywhere else in the world now is all politics first.

You can see America like what we're doing.

For sure it's first year.

And producers end up being frustrated.

But without producers, you don't have an economy.

Like if we gave the politicians what they a lot of them scream for and all the producers stopped producing, what do you think the world would look like?

The planes would stop flying.

The, you know, the innovation would stop happening.

So it's interesting.

Have you ever heard of the book Atlas Shrugged by Ian Rand?

It was written in the 50s, but

it's basically the scenario of what I just said.

If the politicians got their way and all the producers stopped producing and they just let these agencies and

special interest groups run everything.

It's a big book, a thousand pages

on the scenario of what would happen.

So I always tell people, read that book because, and it was written in the 50s, but it's probably more relevant today than ever before.

Interesting.

So you're still a big reader?

I am.

Yeah.

I think it's important.

Got to keep the mind sharp.

And

that's one way to do it.

Absolutely.

You just kind of switch up the reading, but there's always the classics I always go back to.

Like, Think and Grow Rich is a classic.

It's the foundation for so many of these personal development books today.

I love that.

I want to dive into your relationship with your wife because you guys are the most public couple I know in the entrepreneur space.

And we were talking earlier about how a lot of public couples just fail for some reason.

Well, today it's, you know, quitting is easy.

You know,

more than half of all marriages end in divorce today because it's simple.

Like, you know, we, and there's, the grass is always greener.

There's always, you know, that shiny object syndrome is alive and well in relationships.

Right.

So if you don't, if you don't do what I want you to do, then I want to go find someone that will.

But the challenge is that person is going to do something else you don't like.

And so people bounce from deal to deal.

And I did the same thing, man.

I used to say, well, I'm not the guy to get relationship advice from.

And I had a mentor tell me, you sure are, because

you messed so many of them up.

So I could tell you exactly what never to do in a relationship.

So when I evaluated

this relationship and my wife, based on, okay,

what am I looking for?

Like,

there's nothing like coming home to someone who's got your back.

There's nothing like having someone in your circle that you just know for a fact is solid.

Right.

Because it's hard to, you can have business partners that you think are solid and then money gets in the way or something.

And

like I'm weak in a lot of areas and to have somebody strong in the areas that I'm weak in,

it makes us powerful.

It makes us unstoppable in the marketplace.

So it wasn't just great for in the house and just having peace in a house.

You know, having peace in your house to come home to an oasis is nice.

Yeah.

But then to have someone who is entrepreneurial-minded and can see where the pitfalls.

And women tend to have better discernment than guys do sometimes.

They can see stuff.

Like I'll get around someone and I'm thinking, oh,

this guy's cool.

You know, we'll do something together.

And she'll be like, ah, I will be careful.

And then, no, he's fine.

Then I'll go do business with him.

And then all of a sudden, like, damn, you were right.

It's happened to me like 20 times yeah yeah it's happened yeah too many times for me to count but now i listen that's the other thing in relationships communication it's easy to talk about it but we communicate everything and sometimes you know like anything else is like the communication can be harsh it could be you know we have we argue and we do our things yeah but but we know we're coming back to the table nice so we have those friday meetings i think that's cool to meet every week and discuss like what we can improve on and everything and we you know and we do everything together like i i used to be in relationships but i was always on boys' trips.

You know, I was on fishing trips and whatever.

You know, I'm going to watch the game, going to have a beer.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but I'd rather go have a beer with my wife and watch a game.

I'd rather go

on a fishing trip with my wife

because we're connected that way.

So you bring her everywhere?

Pretty much.

See, I like that narrative because a lot of guys will say you're whipped or whatever, stuff like that.

Tell me what you want.

I don't mind it.

I bring my girl as many places as I can.

Why wouldn't you?

I mean, that look, that's I, that's there's a reason why there's the male and the female.

We're supposed to be connected.

Now, I know there's a whole other movement out there that people are switching things up a little bit.

I, but I'm telling you, what I believe is that we're supposed to be connected, right?

And there's a reason for it.

And we don't have to be on top of each other 20, you know, on top of each other 24 hours a day, seven days a week, but

I love it, you know, and

it works.

Yeah.

Any cultural clashes with the families?

Not with the family so much.

No, but because,

as you know, I'm a white male and she's a black female woman.

It's interesting how society still has hang-ups.

Our social media goes ham sometimes, racial stuff, which I'm like, we are not past this shit.

Age gap is

the age is, you know, I don't, you know, I'm way, she's way more mature than me.

I'm still very immature.

She says I'm 15.

So I think women mature faster than guys do to begin with.

But the age is, is also an issue.

So what's the age gap?

23 years.

23 years.

Yeah, so I'm 53.

She's going to be, well, she's 30.

Wow.

Yeah, she's 30.

She's the oldest woman I've dated.

No, she's, yeah, she's going to be 30 next month.

Wow.

So you're always attracted to the younger.

No.

No?

No, it just so happened.

I was walking into a nightclub on my birthday 2016.

She was walking out of the nightclub.

I saw her and I was like, whoa, hold on.

You need to go back in this club with me.

And after a little bit of convincing, she walked back into the nightclub with me.

And

here almost eight years later.

What a story, man.

Yeah, we're still hanging.

You can say not to Married Girls You Meet After.

I know.

And I normally would, because I, you know, it was my birthday.

I was going to have a good night no matter what.

It just worked, man.

And

after we hung out outside of the club, and I was like, oh, you know, she, you know,

fitness model.

And obviously, the look was there.

That was the first thing that I saw was how beautiful she was.

But then we started having conversations and we had these entrepreneurial talks because that's what my whole life revolves around, you know,

let's go.

make a business.

Let's go crush something.

Let's go make some money.

And she was showing me, you know, she's college educated i'm not she was all these things that i wasn't so the when they say opposites attract i think that was really the case

and we had we had we'd have these long conversations about building and then we talked about building companies together she had her company i had mine and i was in the process of selling my main income source at that time.

And

I had sold another company three years prior to that.

So I had been partying for three years straight, and I was kind of done with that lifestyle.

So I said to her, I said, Look, the nightclub is probably not where I'm going to be next week.

This was my birthday.

It was kind of my grand finale.

Wow.

So you haven't been to the club since?

No, I've been to the club many times since.

You can't give it up, man.

You know, not like that, though.

I was out like five, six nights a week

just popping bottles and being a big party phase.

I did.

I did.

Yeah.

What do you think kind of fueled that drive to party that much?

I think idle hands.

I just was flush with cash from a sale.

Right.

I was coming off a divorce.

And,

you know,

when you're not fulfilled, you find things.

And I found those things out in the nightlife.

Got it.

And

it's funny that three years of that,

it looked, I think from the outside for other guys, it probably looked like a cool thing.

Like amazing, right?

Yeah.

All these girls.

It wasn't, um, it wasn't fulfilling.

Yeah, a lot of guys idolize that party lifestyle.

It never made sense to me.

Yeah, and you're smart.

I mean,

keep that energy, bro.

Keep that energy.

I did like a year in college, and I just grew out of it so quick.

Yeah, see, I think that's what I missed, though.

Like, if they would have told me you party like that in college, I probably would have went to college.

I didn't know.

I missed that.

That's why I left it.

I chose my school based off the parties.

You know, that was the main reason, be honest.

So you get it out of your system.

And like, you know, we party, but it's different.

Like, now it's, we don't, we don't live to party it's like okay we're gonna celebrate something right you know we're gonna you know if we go out um we actually live in a area that's all you know nightclubs and stuff and restaurants run so we pop in and say hi but it's not it's not like it used to be like it wasn't yeah sounds like you found that good balance between business dating and money and all that stuff yeah it and and still finding it you know i i balance is always at this thing i had a mentor paul j meyer god rest his soul incredible man um but he always talked about getting balance but it's it's so difficult when you're in the pursuit of something.

Like if you're running this and you know, like you're heading out tonight to LAI here, you got all this stuff going on.

Like, you don't have you don't have balance.

Not today.

Yeah, not today.

You got six people lined up in the green room.

You got an event you're doing tonight.

There's no balance.

So

there's different pieces to that.

Sometimes my wife and I are very focused on like the just 100% health and wellness, health and wellness.

But then the business is kind of off to the side.

Then sometimes it's like all business, 100%.

Then, you know, then I, she will, she never skips the health and wellness side, but I will.

I love that.

Yeah, health is important.

It is, man.

And I'm going to tell you this.

I hear people and I see people sacrificing their health in the pursuit for money.

And it'll be the down the road, they'll realize it was the biggest mistake they ever made.

Because at some point, if you lose your health, you'll give up every single dollar you ever made to get your health back.

So you might as well, you know, a little bit.

It's that slight edge.

Yeah.

Just a little bit, man.

Do something every day for your health.

Hit the gym a little bit and do something, you know.

Absolutely.

I agree.

What's your take when you travel, right?

Because some people totally give up business and work calls when they vacation.

I have a kind of different point of view where if I'm needed, I'll step in.

But how do you feel about it?

No, we make sure, like, we stay in hotels that have great fitness centers.

When we were in LA before we went to Dubai, we stayed in the Marriott in Irvine right across the street from the Lifetime Gym.

Oh, nice.

So we just walked over to the gym.

When we were in Dubai,

I had bags of ice brought up to the suite to fill the tub.

So I started every morning at 6 a.m.

in an ice bag.

You are crazy.

I hated it.

Just let me tell you, I hated it.

And then from there, we went to the gym every single morning.

So you just, you have to prioritize.

You can schedule it in.

Even if you're a hard charger and you got a gazillion, just

do it earlier or do it later, but do it.

Because I didn't do it at one time.

For me, it was simple.

At 40 years old, I lost my health where I literally was making arrangements.

You know, I owned a nightclub at the time.

So

just because of that lifestyle, owning a nightclub meant, you know, I was drinking Red Bowls by day, Red Bowl vodkas by night, and literally killing myself.

And they found it wasn't necessarily like some people say, oh, they had issues from.

from

I had forever chemicals that they used to produce energy drinks found found in my system.

Oh my gosh.

So it was like I didn't even know what a forever chemical was.

But when we were running blood tests, I'm like, you have this stuff and this is, these are the things that they use to manufacture energy drinks.

Holy crap.

You drank that much.

Drank that much, man.

I was going.

Like, think about it.

I wouldn't get into the, I'd get, I'd get to, it was a restaurant nightclub, so I'd get there around 2-3 in the afternoon, and I wouldn't leave till 5 in the morning.

Geez.

Nice graveyard shift.

Yeah, and I would do this five, six days a week.

So you're doing a graveyard shift, which they've they've done studies on, and that's terrible for you.

Plus, you're drinking energy drinks.

And drinking alcohol at night.

And alcohol, yeah.

So triple whammy.

Yeah, well, I was doing it to myself.

Damn, and you were making arrangements at 40?

At 40, I thought, like, I couldn't get out of bed.

Holy crap.

And that's never me.

I have high energy.

Even without a Red Bull, I'm a high-energy guy.

I can't picture you like that.

I've only seen you in high energy situations.

It was bad.

I mean, I literally couldn't leave my room, my bedroom.

Jeez.

And it was, and we couldn't figure out what's wrong.

I was doing all these tests and stuff, and we couldn't figure it out.

And I'm like, dang, this is, this is crazy.

Yeah.

So what, what, what did it end up happening?

It ended up, it was, it was related to a bacteria on my prostate.

And they say it was triggered to, it was triggered by what, what they believe were these chemicals that were, because you just don't know how things are going to manifest.

But like, you could be great today.

And there's things happening inside.

You don't even realize what's going on.

Yeah.

You know, and, and that's kind of what happened to me.

And it's just my body shut down my body said no you this is it at 40 that's scary yeah so I you know that was where like it's crazy that sometimes you have to have that happen like my one of my early mentors Jim Rowan would say you know the guy who has a heart attack and survives is more likely to go on to live a long healthy life

because why he stops doing and eating and stressing the way he was prior to that because now his life is on the line.

Right.

So sometimes we need these life-altering things to make the changes.

It is a shame that you need near-death experience to realize certain things.

And that seems like that's been the story of my life.

No, I've had it not to me, but like to close ones of mine, near-death experience.

And you're like, wow, life could end at any moment.

And when you're that close to it, you don't take things for granted.

That's why right now experiences are so big for my wife and I.

Right.

You know,

the trips we're taking.

Like, I don't really care about the stuff anymore.

You know, I've had all that stuff.

So there's no need for me to, you know, flex with the Rolls-Royce or whatever.

That's not the important stuff.

Matter of fact, we invest so much money in our health and well.

If you see, you know, every 90 days now, we get our blood work done.

Wow.

So we know our numbers.

And my goal is always to have numbers better than my wife, who's 23 years younger than me.

Nice.

And so I have this target that I'm always shooting for.

And I am.

You look great, man.

Thank you, man.

I'm telling you, I feel great.

And

I study nutrition.

I study health and wellness.

And I'm on top of it.

And we invest big money in it.

Because a challenge living in America is you have to invest your money to be healthy.

You can't be healthy by default.

No, you can't.

The grocery store is killing you.

You know, the chemicals in the air and the water and everything else.

We don't even think about this stuff.

We manufacture food here.

We process everything.

And it's literally killing us.

It's killing us.

And our kids, look,

look at the things that our kids suffer with today that didn't exist in the the 70s when I was growing up.

Autism was like one in 10,000 kids when I was growing up.

Now it's like one in 10.

I mean, something has shifted dramatically.

And sugar is a big problem.

Like, we put sugar in everything because, you know, we had a war on fat, and it just goes on and on and on.

So

we just invest big money now to be, I'd rather put that money there than in.

anything else.

I feel that.

And then go travel.

I love that.

And have the energy to experience, you know, all these different cultures and things like that.

I love that.

I'm the same way.

I want to travel more and get my health in order because five years I did not take my health seriously at all.

And when you're young, you can get away with it.

Yeah.

You'll bounce back quick.

But you'll hit a certain point and you're like, dang, it's taking more, it's taken longer to bounce back.

Yeah.

I feel that.

How were your testosterone levels?

High.

High?

That's my wife.

Okay.

Hi.

Yeah.

I do a lot of things.

I've had dips.

And and you know, as a man, you know when you're dipping, at least I do.

And plus, checking my numbers every 90 days.

So I keep tabs on that.

But there's so many natural ways to,

you know,

HGH, you know, levels you can boost through fasting.

And

there's lots of things you can do to boost your testosterone.

I'm telling you, do martial arts, like Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

There's a lot of studies around just doing like combat type stuff, you know, to raise testosterone.

Raise testosterone.

Yeah.

So there's a lot of things you can do

to raise testosterone naturally.

That's cool.

Cause they say after 40, you start dipping.

Oh, yeah, for sure, man.

You got, and if, if you're not paying attention to it, you're going to drop and you're going to be sluggish.

The biggest thing for me is, man, I got to keep my sex drive right.

Like,

but that, that's why men are men.

And at least for me, like, if that, if that's dipping, then I start questioning myself.

So you want more kids?

No more kids.

I like, I like the act of making kids more than having them now.

She's of age.

Yeah.

No, we both made a decision.

Like we're

selfish.

And you can't be selfish with kids.

Interesting.

So when, you know, there's, we have next, next year, we've already got a plan.

We've got a six-month trip that we're taking.

Holy crap.

Yeah.

We're going to be gone for six months.

It's a long one.

Yeah.

You know, the beauty of Airbnb is now you can go live in someone else's house and just like it's your own.

Right.

So we're, you know, Thailand and the Philippines, and we're gonna hit bali and um

yeah so like lugging kids around on a trip like that doesn't seem like a lot of fun it'd be tough yeah and then the problem is if you hire a nanny you're not really bonding with the kids so it's the balance i did then i did that we had a traveling we had um in my my previous marriage with with my daughter we had we had someone that lived with us sylvia was incredible but i'll tell you you you get

sylvia handles it when we would travel we get an adjoining room, and Sylvia and my daughter slept in that room.

We slept in, they got up early and did stuff.

We missed so much of it by doing that.

And maybe other people do that better than we did it.

But it just was a crutch

that it wasn't fair to her.

Sylvia became mommy.

Wow.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And I didn't have to do a lot of duties.

So, I don't know.

It's kind of a deep topic, I think.

It is.

so the the bottom line is no we're not going to have kids um and i think that america living in america having kids today is a little it's a little scary scary more than a little it's yeah i don't want my

i don't know i i just there's just too there's so much information coming at at these kids and and

not all and i have certain philosophies that I would like to keep in my house and I don't want my kid leaving the house and then having a new set of philosophies that are con

are in direct conflict with my philosophies.

Yeah, I think public schools out the window for myself.

What I went through was traumatic enough, and now it's even worse.

It's way worse.

Like, oh my gosh.

And kids are brutal to each other.

Like, you think

I got bullied.

Yeah, man, and that's been, that's, they've been brutal from the beginning of time.

Yeah.

But now you got social media, you got all this other stuff along with that brutality.

Yeah, social media bullying is almost worse, honestly, because at least when you're bullied in person, you kind of know what's going to happen.

But with social media, people just attacking you in all sorts of ways.

It's just mean and nasty.

Like I'll take, like, when we were kids, it was, we would fist fight.

It was, it was beatings.

That's how it went down.

Now it's this verbal, like, mental game.

And I think that stuff sticks, like, you get beat up.

You know, you get a fat lip and bloody nose or whatever.

You know, you're embarrassed, but you get over it pretty quick.

Yeah.

That's the, I don't remember how many fights I was in as a kid.

But I can remember some shit kids said to me.

That's true.

Now I'm 53 years old and I can remember stuff from junior high that was said to me.

Yeah, sticks and stones can break, right?

Yeah, sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.

That's the, that's, is, like, the names are worse.

The names, because you think about it,

we're mental creatures.

We're, we're weirdos.

You know, things our mom said to us, you know, it's stuck in there somewhere.

Oh, for real.

I'm an Aquarius, so I deep thinking is all I do, man.

Yeah, for real.

You're in your head.

And think about that.

Like, I tell people all the time, for most people, what's going on in their mind, it's like eating a junk food diet.

Every single meal is junk food.

Every snack, everything.

Because we're saying this, we've got this negative stuff replaying in our head.

And if you don't find a way to either push that out or work past that, you're going to be depressed.

Well,

look at the amount of people on Prozac, the number one selling drug in the country.

Wow.

I think that if you're not living to your purpose, if you're not doing something daily, if you're not engaged in some type of activity that excites you and warms you up and gets you rolling, you're going to be depressed.

And we have a whole map, we have millions of people that are depressed right now

all over the country.

I didn't know it was the number one selling drug.

Yeah, it's crazy.

And that's an antidepressant?

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't really believe in those, to be honest.

We don't, yeah, we, we, don't get me started on this pharmaceuticals.

That's a a whole nother you know rabbit hole we can go down yeah i just think it create i think it creates depend like they create one drug to fix one problem and then that drug creates 13 other side effects you know you see the commercial yeah it's hilarious yeah the whole commercial is side effects yeah you got you got psoriasis so put this take this and uh potential outcome is death i think i'll keep the skin problem yeah like viagra you can have a heart attack on that yeah so yeah like you know

your heart's supposed to be pounding you strong in those For real.

That negative loop, though, is, I know what you mean.

I had that for like 24 years.

Just negative thoughts out there, negative thoughts, and it's so easy to get wrapped up in it.

How old are you, man?

I'm 27.

27.

It took me a while to get out of it, but both my parents had it.

So it kind of in the house just rubbed off.

Yeah.

And when someone would tell me something, my immediate reaction was negative.

Isn't that crazy?

It's common.

It's common.

Yeah, it's nuts.

And because

we were doing so many of the personal development events, and that's been the event business I've been in for my entire life,

you meet so many people like that.

They come up to you after an event, and they tell you these stories of where they've been in this loop, this negative loop.

And the beauty of an event or a book or even someone listening to a show.

Maybe there might be one person listening to one of your podcasts.

That's why I love these podcasts now, because you can reach so many people.

All of a sudden, you reach somebody that says, okay, maybe that was the seed I needed to be planted for me to start to change my mind.

I wrote a book with a guy named Les Brown, and he used to say,

once your mind expands, it can never go back to that original dimension.

Yeah.

And that's what's, there's so much, there's so many ways now to expand your mind that didn't exist when I was coming up.

Agreed.

You know, we had to go, we would pay, you know, you'd have to go to a seminar, drive to a summary.

You know, you weren't getting it.

We didn't have Zoom.

We didn't have.

Nothing online.

Yeah, nothing online.

It didn't exist.

Wow.

You had to be very intentional.

Yeah.

And yeah.

So I'm a different era now.

Kids can learn a lot quicker now.

There's teenagers make millions, millions, crazy.

That's why I'm like, I can't be left behind.

You know, you got to adopt.

You have to.

And my wife, I drive my wife nuts because

I'm a little slower on the draw on some of the TikToks.

Yeah, and all of it, man.

But I'm playing the game, and I'm not the sharpest in the game, but I'm in the game.

I'm doing it, and I'm excited about it.

I think

when you have excitement for the future,

I heard a quote one time where there is no faith in the future.

You can't pack a punch in the present.

And because I'm so excited about the future and like technology, I think I could live forever based on technology that's coming and artificial intelligence.

So there's an excitement around staying healthy enough, long enough to see what's coming.

And that's another thing that drives me from a health standpoint.

I think it'll be possible one day to live forever.

I told my wife, you know, you know, what might happen is I might just get a robot, a robot body, like my head on a robot body.

The question is if you want to live forever.

I know that's that, that's going to be the next, the next dilemma that we face.

Because if you're at an old body and you got offered, do you want to live in this body forever?

I would probably say no.

No, but if you can give me, you know, a

really nice body,

give me a super strength body, yeah, then I'm like, hey, all right, we can I can be a superhero.

I love it.

Yeah.

John, it's been fun.

Anything you want to close off with or promote?

No, man.

Just

I would just tell people, don't get so caught up in

what other people are saying, social media and all this other stuff and get out of your own head.

For me, that was one of my biggest challenges, like you said,

that loop, getting caught up in my own mind.

And

just go out there and make shit happen.

Boom.

We'll link your IG below.

Thanks for coming on.

Thanks, man.

Appreciate you.

Yeah.

Thanks for watching, guys.

See you next time.