Avoid This Business Blunder: Mentor Mistakes That Cost Millions! | Gary Coxe DSH #590

Okay, number one, have enough common sense that making sure that when you take the advice from that person, that their values and beliefs match with yours.

Those that don't, throw them out.

Those that do, keep them.

Right.

I love that because people just have one mentor, but I have many in different verticals.

So I have a health one, I have a spiritual one, I have a business one.

Nice.

The problem when you listen to just the business one is it's just going to be money, money, money.

Right.

So people get lost in that.

100%.

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And here's the episode.

All right, guys, we got Gary Cox here.

He came in on the jet.

Thanks for coming, man.

I did.

I did.

Thanks for having me.

I'm honored, man.

You and I did, bro.

You and I have been communicating for literally, like you said, years, right?

Years.

And I know you recently, I think, went to Miami and I didn't.

make it because I was in Florida.

So, but yeah, we're here now.

So looking forward to this.

Absolutely, man.

What you been up to lately?

Not too much, just doing a lot of our jet mastermind programs and decided to, you know, probably took about, I don't know, maybe five years to kind of slow down and chill a little bit.

So I'm back on, so we're, that means I'm going to do a lot more speaking engagements on stage.

So I'm looking forward to that.

I missed that.

I've done probably, I don't know, I'm over 3,000 speaking engagements.

So slowed down a little bit.

So I'm ready to rock and roll and get things back up and get the jet lit up and hit some more masterminds.

And I guess you know this,

our sponsor is Sandals Resort.

So that's where we take all of our clients for the masterminds in the Bahamas.

So it's not a bad gig.

Yeah, that's a top-tier resort, man.

Yeah, yeah, it is, yeah.

What goes down on a jet mastermind?

Well, what we do is we show other coaches how to create their own masterminds and be able to do it.

Many times a lot of people think, you know, how do you do a jet?

And it's a lot of money.

There's so many ways to massage this where you can use your clients' money to put all this together.

And then we also show people how to really take their business to another level.

Most people don't, you know, travel in a private jet or get to do it regularly.

And when you experience something like that, you realize that, wait a minute, there's another way to live.

And it gets you to figure out what's the next chess piece that I need to move in the business to make this happen.

And a lot of times it's not extra work.

It's just doing something a little smarter.

You know, just one more little tiny piece to make the difference.

And that's what we give the people the exposure to.

And it's a full day.

You know, we do everything from the police escort.

The police shuts down the traffic for them.

We just want them to see an incredible experience and they remember it for a lifetime.

And more and more importantly they take the content that they learn from it and they use that and they implement it and then they get the results

once you go private it's hard to go back man it really is we have a saying

with regards to a necessity a necessity how's it going

when I remember it I'll throw it at you but I know a luxury a luxury sampled once becomes a necessity

so once you once you taste it you can't go back it's really difficult absolutely same with cars too oh yeah yeah for sure yeah so you're in Miami right now No, we're in Central Florida, between Tampa and Orlando.

Oh, nice.

And these masterminds are all over?

Well, typically we do the masterminds at Sandals Resorts in the Bahamas.

So what we'll do is most people will come and meet in Central Florida, come meet me there, and then we leave early in the morning and go out and come back late that night.

Masterminds are also another game changer, man.

No, they are because what it does is it gets you, you know, and you know this better than anybody, your proximity is your power, your network is your net worth.

And when you hang around people that are regularly talking about, yeah, we did this and it made us a half a million dollars or we did this and it made us 20 grand.

And when you're not around that, it seems to be so foreign to you.

But when you're around it consistently, you recognize that, wait a minute, if I'm not doing it, there's ways to do this.

And the mastermind gets you,

we limit it to about eight people, so it's very intimate.

You know, great big seminars have their strengths as well.

But there's also, I remember when I was younger, I used to think, well, you know, I would love the opportunity to hang with this person, like like, like, hang with a Sean.

How do I get to hang with you and pick your brain?

And that's where this concept came up with.

So it gives people the opportunity to spend an intimate time with somebody like myself.

And then, you know, basically, I can answer whatever questions they have for their business.

So I do a lot of, as you know, the TV shows.

And so we'll talk about that.

But I try to give them as much content that they can use and do something with right away that they can turn some type of a profit or make a big shift in their company.

And I was very blessed also when I was younger, Sean, I was mentored by two millionaires and later a billionaire.

And I learned so much from incredibly, incredibly successful people, even though I personally have no desire to be a billionaire.

We can talk about that later, maybe.

I don't know.

But I do want to learn a lot from them where I can either implement it for myself or share it with other people.

Yeah, mentorship is crucial.

So talk to me how you got that first one because people struggle finding that first one.

You know,

it was actually quite interesting that you asked that.

When I was 16, I had started my second business at 15.

So when I was 16, I was able to drive.

And then I saw this really cool office plaza, and I wanted to start my own wholesale jewelry manufacturing and repairing.

And that's what I used to do.

I did, you know, I repaired Gordon's jewelers and Zales and JCPenneys and all that stuff as a young kid.

And I saw this office building and I thought, I can't afford that.

But you know what?

I'm going to try.

And I knocked on the guy's door, the landlord who owned it, millionaire.

And he said, you know,

let's see.

Let me look at this with you.

And

I didn't have a lot of money at that time.

And he offered me a spot for rent.

We became very good friends and he became my millionaire mentor.

And there's things in my brain to this very day.

This was when I was a teenager.

There's things in my brain to this very day that I use to control and do and change in my business.

You know, one of them is the smart person believes half of what they hear.

The intelligent person knows which half to believe.

You don't believe everything you hear.

So I'm one that's always questioning things, you know, because too many times people are very robotic.

You know, I see a lot of people, they'll take a mentor.

And if you're not careful, what happens is if you're not,

if you don't use a lot of common sense, you will place a higher status on somebody in your mind, higher than they should be.

And because of that, you will listen to everything they say.

And that's called being programmed.

And when you are able to determine, wait a minute, what that person is saying makes sense.

Like, I'll have my billionaire mentor when he was alive he would give me advice and some of it i would take and some of it i wouldn't you got to have enough common sense because everybody's values and beliefs are different you know people say

are you interested in coming on the digital social hour podcast as a guest well click the application link below in the description of this video we are always looking for cool stories cool entrepreneurs to talk to about business and life click the application link below and here's the episode guys You'll see somebody that makes more money than you do.

So the tendency is to go, what?

Listen to them, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

It's like going to the gym.

You see the guy who's really, really big.

The first thing we want to do, if we want to build muscle, is go to who?

Go to the really, really big guy.

So he says, well, you lift the weight this way and then you do it this way.

But he didn't tell you he's also working out seven days a week.

He doesn't have a relationship anymore because his wife can't handle him anymore because he's on steroids and that's how he got so big so quick.

So all these different things, you know, that you don't take into consideration.

And so when it comes to finding the right mentor, it's important to figure out, okay, number one, have enough common sense that making sure that when you take the advice from that person, that their values and beliefs match with yours.

Those that don't, throw them out.

Those that do, keep them.

Right.

I love that because people just have one mentor, but I have many in different verticals.

So I have a health one.

I have a spiritual one.

I have a business one.

Nice.

The problem when you listen to just the business one is it's just going to be money, money, money.

Right.

So people get lost in that.

A hundred percent.

And I think that's why it's so important that people get of the mindset to have the exposure of different kind of people like you do.

And sometimes you can have two coaches in the same venue sometimes or the same you know folder because you're getting different perceptions and that's where that's what i call ucs use common sense that's where by using common sense you can determine okay you know that fits my model that fits my thinking that fits my values and beliefs okay i'm going to take that this one i don't like and then you know make your own decisions absolutely so you mentioned being program earlier i think that's a good segue into the cult stuff yeah so how long were you part of that i was in the cult um into my 40s man Holy.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's all I knew.

I'm talking.

In fact, Sean, it was so crazy when I left, right?

I didn't even know what, I'm literally like, if I wanted to, I could cry right now.

I'm not kidding you.

Wow.

When I left, I would not even know what day of the week it was.

I would have to, I did this for nearly six months.

I would have to look at the calendar to figure out what day of the week it was.

Wow.

Why is that?

The reason being is you're so conditioned to do every day.

You do this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, every single day for 40 years.

And then all of a sudden I decide, you know what, I'm gone, I'm out.

And everything is so conditioned on every single day that you do this, this, and that.

And I don't have that.

that that routine anymore.

And man, it was the most unusual thing ever to literally have to look at the calendar for nearly six months to get to the point where I could realize what friggin' day of the week it was.

Wow.

So they don't have a calendar when you're in there?

No, they do.

But the thing is, is

I'm so used to doing Sunday, this is Monday, this, is Tuesday, this, Wednesday, this.

And then all of a sudden you don't have that anymore.

That routine routine is gone.

So, I literally could not figure out what day of the week it was.

That's crazy.

Were you allowed to pursue any business when you were a part of that?

I was, but it was very limited.

Every time I would be on TV,

and I'm laughing because one of your guys on the team knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Every time I'd get on TV, that's causing too much attention to myself.

So, the people in the cult, they would, if they saw me on TV, they'd go to the superiors and they would pull me in the back and say, you know, you shouldn't be bringing so much attention.

It was ridiculous.

So, yeah, it definitely

stunted my financial growth financially, like you would not believe.

And I still have ripple effects that I have to work on because you're so programmed in that to believe that if things are really hard, ah, that's a sign that you're doing well.

Wow.

So what will happen is when I'm doing really well,

is then I'll figure out something to take it to the next level, but take more risk than I probably should.

And granted, it's gotten to me where I've gotten, but it's a little more than I need to because I'm so used to having things hard all the time and struggling.

So it's a pattern I have to constantly work on breaking.

And it was probably tough to get out because your family and your friends were in it.

So that was all you knew.

Yeah.

That's, that's, that's the, I think I've been through everything from, you know, my father was murdered when I was 17.

My wife and I, we had a baby.

She tells me it's not mine.

I mean, a lot of crap by the time I was 21.

That's a cakewalk compared to leaving.

this cult because like you said, you know, all your so-called friends and family, you know, they'll shun you for life.

I've spoken to my mother once in, what, 15 some odd years.

And now it's like me taking Sean and say, Sean, I'm going to pick you up.

I'm going to put you in a third world country.

You don't know where you're going to be at.

I'm just going to drop you there.

And by the way, all the people that you've known all your life, they'll never talk to you again.

Start all over.

Wow.

And that's tough.

I didn't realize how difficult it was.

It put me $350,000 in debt nearly overnight.

Holy crap.

I remember borrowing $75,000 on a credit card because I was not able to function mentally enough to keep the business going.

And I never thought it would be that difficult.

I wish I'd have planned it a lot better.

Man, that's a big amount of debt.

How long did it take you to get out of that?

Dude, it took me a couple of years.

I actually went on the road for three years and three months living in hotels, selling my books and my programs all over the country.

Holy crap.

So you got to sell books and programs just to get out of debt.

Yeah.

Man.

3,000.

Three years.

You must have been so stressed.

Yeah,

I did 600 presentations in those three years.

Holy crap.

And you were selling mindset training?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I want to dive into that because you're able to to help people overcome limits, phobias in 30 minutes.

Yeah, I did.

I was very blessed to do a three-year run on Dr.

Phil's show, The Doctors.

So I think what's helped me, Sean, is because I've been through so much pain and so many challenges in my life, I'm able to feel the pain of what other people have been through.

And then I remember when I was going through trying to get over a lot of this, what were the practical things that I did that I could share with somebody else that would help them get from point A to point B?

Not this, this, you know, you're great, you're wonderful, you know, it'll be all better.

Well, yeah, great, but whatever.

But when you go through all this stuff and your emotional hard drive is full of emotional pain, you know, what happens is, is every time you do something that doesn't work in your favor, if you're not careful, you'll reflect on all the other pains you've had in the last 10, 20 years of your life.

And if you don't have specific strategies to circumnavigate that, you're not going to get better or remove that very, very quickly.

And one of the things, one of the examples I give, Sean, is that when we're born, we're programmed to be a slave to our feelings, right?

When you're born, you cry.

You're just constantly programmed to be a slave to our feelings.

So, what I encourage people to do is you have to learn to lead your feelings, not be a slave of them.

So, every time you have a negative emotion or any emotion for that matter, positive or negative, you'll do one or two things.

You'll either ignore it or you'll reward it.

And

you stop and think about every single emotion that you have all day long, subconsciously, you're either ignoring it or rewarding it.

And when you're consciously aware of that, you're then able to intercept and stop it if it's not going in your favor.

And it becomes very, very powerful.

So I've been able to develop a very fast way of getting people to rewire their thinking.

In fact, when I do it on stage, it's kind of cool.

I'll bring somebody who's deathly phobic of a snake, for example, and I'll find the worst, most phobic person I can in that room, bring them on stage, their crying fetal position, the whole nine yards, and then I'll show them, I'm going to share with them, you know, a lot of times as business people, we tell people to make a quantum leap in their life or in their business.

And to make a quantum leap is to have the ability to move when you're not ready.

Most people are looking for ways to be ready to make the move.

So what I share with the audience, I'll ask them, say, how many of you here in the audience are willing to make a quantum leap today?

And of course, what is everybody to put their hand up?

But when you see and realize that, hey, wait a minute, a quantum leap is making a move when you're not ready, let me demonstrate that.

So then I bring this person on stage who's like literally in tears.

And when I'm done, they're without hypnosis, holding a 10-foot snake, and everybody's like freaking out.

And they're watching the process.

So I teach them the process as I'm doing it.

So they understand it.

So when you walk away from the event, you know steps that you can use to implement to get things done faster.

That is impressive.

That's cool.

It's very, very cool.

A lot of fun.

So on the TV shows, that's what I do.

I do it and just in a very fast, concentrated level.

It's a little tougher sometimes because if it's a live to tape show, you know, they'll bring me on, talk about what the problem is, bring me in the person backstage, and then I'll have the show running during the rest.

And I got got to get the person done by the time they finish the next segment.

So you got one trial.

One shot.

But

it's been pretty cool.

Because some people go to therapy for decades trying to fix their fears.

I'm the person typically they'll come to.

Like when they bring me the people on the show, they bring me people who have been to therapy for 10 or 20 years.

Oh, wow.

So that's the typical.

And if I feel that I can't reverse that in one session, I don't take them on.

Interesting.

It was always too, I tried it.

It was too slow for me.

It's ridiculous.

And look at the model.

I'm not, you know, I'm not dissing these people or anything like that.

But the model model is I would want 20 of you every week for the rest of your life, right?

But I can't sleep at night.

I want to be challenged, say, wait a minute, I want you once.

Let me see what I can do with you and knock this out one time.

It's a hard business model, right?

But I sleep better at night.

Yeah, they want you as long as you can.

Rather than yourself, you want them in and out within an hour.

Right.

Now, if it's a business thing, it's a little different, right?

Because that's something you can constantly mold and tweak and so on.

You could, you know, you can work with a business client for years as a mentor or as an advisor.

But on something like that, psychologically, no, it doesn't take that long what have you seen with negative mindsets because my my dad specifically very pessimistic growing up kind of rubbed off on me is that something you could fix pretty quick that's well

yes and no a lot of that as you can understand is from your background is very very ingrained but what I like to tell people when it comes to their mindset what what's the difference really between a negative thought and a positive thought and the difference is the outcome in your mind so stop and think about if you're thinking about something negative what what what what about it is negative?

Well, what would be the outcome on this thought?

And then that's how you determine really what a negative and positive thought is.

So you just can't say I can't and then say you can.

And then now you're a positive person.

Because if I say I can't, I can't, I can't.

And you say, but Gary, say you can.

Well, now I say I can, I can, I can't.

I can say I can, I can't, I can't until I'm blue in the face, but I still don't believe it.

And if I don't believe I can, then I still can't.

So you'll hear people say, change your story, change your life.

That's not true because you can just change your your story.

That does not change your life.

Changing your story, then believing your story, that will change your life.

So now you focus on the belief of the new story, not just the story.

So how can you frame your mind to start believing like that?

That is the million-dollar question.

The reason being is because every situation is different.

Every approach is different.

So if I had 10 people with the exact same problem, I'll have probably maybe 10 different approaches, depending on their mentality, depending on their background, and so forth.

you mentioned earlier you didn't want to become a billionaire correct how come i'm not willing to pay the price i don't want to pay the price i i've i i have some lovely friends who are billionaires and i just don't want to pay the price i don't need a billion dollars right because you're mentored by a billionaire so you get a first-hand view of his life i know so much i mean i love a lot of this stuff but you know it's just not it's not for me i mean i'm i'm fine with a hundred million you know i can live just as well on a hundred million than a billion yeah i feel like there's no difference in lifestyle from a hundred to a billion.

No, not if you do it right.

And, you know, the thing is, is

there is there's always a price to pay.

It's like the guy in the gym, right?

It's like the guy in the gym.

He's really big.

You want to pay the price?

How big do you want to get?

I'm okay with maybe half the muscle.

I don't know.

But, you know, and I say this nothing against Warren Buffett, but, and it's public.

Warren Buffett, he's a billionaire and he's had a mistress for decades.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, decades.

But why?

Because he's traveling all the time.

His wife don't want to be with him and he's still married.

Right.

So now i'm willing to listen would you not listen to warren buffett's business advice you'd be foolish not to but there's a lot of things i may not want to listen to because it may not agree with my values and beliefs and maybe it will then if it does great so this is where i get people to think wait a minute let's go a little deeper don't don't and i tell people don't just listen to everything i got to say because maybe i got something to say it might be right but it might not be according to your values and beliefs.

So then you probably shouldn't do it.

Because that's why when I'm coaching somebody or mentoring somebody, I'll say, Sean, here's my suggestion to you.

Do you buy into it?

And I give you the opportunity to say no because I don't want you to be a yes man.

Now, if you say no, I'll tell you, Sean, I think that's pretty stupid.

Or I'll say, Sean, I totally agree with you.

Let's go ahead and look at this.

What about this?

Because why would I force you to do something that's against your value and beliefs?

Hello, though.

It doesn't make any sense.

Unless your value and beliefs is something that's not in harmony with your goal and needs to be changed.

That's a different story.

Yeah.

I'm not a fan of yes men, man.

Yeah, I don't do it.

I don't like when people

when people aren't their authentic selves, I could, I could sense it within a a minute yeah for real yeah it's not cool man all those yes men out there stop getting that shit man because exit they're trying to please but they don't realize that some people don't like that right you know just be honest and you know what's interesting when you're not a yes man you attract people that don't need that but if when you're a yes man and you're always in the yes then you attract people that always want that i would rather not be that yes man and also let people know that work with me i don't want that because i want your honest opinion i don't have so much ego where i'm not willing to hear your opinion about something Right.

You know, what made you want to become a pilot?

Because I know your uncle actually passed away in a pilot crash, right?

He did.

He did.

In fact, that was the death of my pilot's license for a while, pun intended, I guess, because I started flying very early.

And then when he crashed, I was still living at home.

And I go to the airport to take my next lesson.

My instructor says, your mom just called and you're done, bro.

Damn.

I go, what the what?

So I had to wait till I got out of the house and blah, blah, blah.

But yeah, no, I'm addicted to it, man.

It's just, it's an amazing thing.

I love it.

I fly, I mean, helicopters, jets, single engines.

I've owned helicopters and airplanes forever.

Wow.

But it's just a, for me,

it's a great way to keep the brain going.

It's a great lifestyle, you know, and I've been able to incorporate that into

my jet mastermind retreats.

Yeah, that's brilliant.

It's a lot of fun.

And you just trained Dan Henry.

Yeah, no, Dan and I, we've been friends for a little while now, and he's been doing some flying.

And as you know, as you mentioned, we came over here in the jet.

So that was a lot of fun.

But no, it just raises your game, that's for sure.

But

the lifestyle ah nothing like it man that's a long route in a jet from florida yeah no see it's it's it was full day yeah wow florida's i didn't you know i mean i i don't get her that often but i realized that wait a minute crap that you're like right on the california border man it's a five-hour flight right yeah it's it's east to west and the jets can't fly as fast as commercial right no it depends on the jet in fact what was so cool um we were at 34 000 feet coming over here and then on the radio they're calling out hey you know we've got a jet a thousand feet above you with spirit Air.

And you could just see him like right above it.

It was so cool.

So, yeah, we're up there with airliners.

Damn.

Oh, yeah.

That's pretty close.

Oh, it's.

Oh, yeah.

It's very close.

I'd be a little nervous.

No, it's slick, man.

It's, I mean, you could see him just like, shoot, so cool.

So cool.

You see any UFOs up there?

No, but I've definitely seen meters and stuff like that.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, it's awesome.

Yeah.

It was one

day, it was at night, obviously.

I guess obviously I've never seen one in the day.

So it was at nighttime.

We're flying over the Gulf and it was like this massive green and purple.

And it was so huge that everybody on the radio, on the pilot's radio, were talking,

you see that?

You see that?

People, we saw it for miles and miles.

And that landed on Earth?

Yeah, I'd imagine so.

I don't know if it completely dissipated before it got there, but it was massive.

It was huge.

It was so, it was so big that everybody, and you just don't talk on the radios unless you're acknowledged or you have a question, but people were just like, shh, and that's just unheard of.

Damn.

Unheard of.

That's fascinating.

And then one time we came back from the Bahamas from our mastermind, and then we saw SpaceX go up at night.

That was friggin' cool.

I saw Starlink once in the hot tub.

That was the first time.

Isn't that cool?

Really cool.

I thought it was a UFO.

I don't know what it was.

I've never, but I know I've heard of other pilots doing it, but I've never, but the meteorite stuff I've seen.

How far does a radio go?

Can you communicate with planes like hundreds of miles?

Hundreds.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Depending on how high you are.

Oh, absolutely.

Wow.

So pilots are just chatting it up up there?

Well, it's more organized than that.

It's valuable real estate, so you don't want to overdo it.

Wow, that's cool.

What has been your favorite places to fly to um i like the berry islands it's my little private little island the barrier islands

in the bahamas

i got to get out there man no you don't keep it that way it's very quiet we don't we don't like anybody out there

all right i'll i'll i'll set you up i'll fly you out there with me no it's a private island um you go out there for a weekend it's a seven mile beach part of it and you might be good to see

five people for the whole week.

Damn.

Yeah, it's the best.

How do you eat food and stuff?

Man, ask good questions.

You got to fly it in sometimes

because there's a boat that comes in once a week.

And if the boat doesn't come in because of weather,

then everybody's out of it.

Starving.

There's like two little

grocery stores, one bar, and that's it.

Wow.

Yeah, it's a lovely little island, but it's getting a little bit more populated now.

People are catching on.

People are fleeing the country.

Pretty crazy timing.

This election is going to be pretty pivotal, I think.

Man, it's going to be nuts.

It's going to be nuts.

I try to stay out of it.

I'm with you.

So now that you brought it up, and you know, so I guess some people get pissed off or not.

I've never voted in my life because that's part of the vote.

Really?

Okay.

So because that's part of the occult thing.

So

I love that because I can say, you know, the president, the present president, I can say something about him is really good, and this part about him is really stupid.

And the other people, that part's pretty good, and that part's pretty stupid.

I love just being, you know, in the middle of however I want to be.

I didn't know people in cults couldn't vote.

That's interesting.

No, you can't.

Oh, no.

Well, not this cult.

Oh, oh, no.

Wow.

No, no, that's interesting.

How many people were with you?

Was this like a bigger one?

Yeah,

seven million total.

Holy totally, yeah.

Seven million people?

Dude, you know what I found out about this stuff, Sean?

Smart people can do really stupid things.

You know, and I'm not the dumbest person in the world, but I was in there

doing stupid things and thinking stupid things.

You know, I mean, it's, and it just, it shows how easy we can be programmed.

I mean, it's crazy.

I'll give you an example.

I remember dating this girl after I left the call, right?

I remember dating this girl.

And she's she's a tall girl she said to me how tall are you i go i'm i'm 6'1.

she go you can't be 6'1.

what do you mean i can't be i'm 6'1.

so she's really acute to that because she's like she was 5'11.

yeah so i pulled out my um

my driver's license and my driver's license has said 6'1

all my life that i've been 6'1.

yeah she measured me i'm 6'2 on my pilot's license which i never look at my pilot's information it's 6'2.

I've been 6'2 and didn't know it.

Wow.

So the point here is there's so many things, and I tell people,

don't believe everything you believe, and then you'll be really smart.

So if you're always questioning what you believe, you always see there's a possibility there may be, even in business, a smarter way to make things happen, a smarter way to do things.

And what, you know, like when I talk about the smarter way of do things, you watch somebody who's like deathly phobic when I'm programming them, right?

Are we wiring them?

Here, they are not

consciously saying to themselves, go ahead and sweat and increase your heartbeat, right?

Think about that.

So when somebody's deathly phobic, their heart rate can double.

They literally get sweat on their palms and their forehead.

If the human mind has the ability to do that in the negative, imagine what you can do in the positive when you can control it.

So this is why I'm able to get up at, I've been up this morning.

I started working at 3 o'clock this morning, 3.30 this morning.

And I will go till 9 or 10 o'clock tonight and I'll rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.

But I have a diet, and I have a mind and a thought process that enables me to do that.

Wow.

So you're pushing your physical limits with your mindset.

Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

For example, you might hear this, but technically I never say, I feel tired, right?

I'll say, I'm tired.

All right.

Or if you ever hear me say, you know, I feel tired.

Well, what I'm actually saying to myself is feelings can watch.

Feelings can change.

So if I feel tired, it's only a feeling.

So that means I can change that feeling.

And stop and think about it.

When you feel tired, what are the ways that you know you're tired?

Most people don't know that.

They're divided into separate ways.

Have you ever gone so long without sleep, your eyes burn?

Right?

That's one level of tired.

Have you ever gone so long, not quite so long, but your eyes aren't burned, but you just feel exhausted?

That's another level of tired.

So you have different stages of it.

So for example, if you were like really exhausted right now and we yelled and somebody said, there's a fire, there's a fire, there's a fire out there, your adrenaline would spike.

You would be rushing out of here and you probably would not be tied for the next four to ten hours depending on the severity of the fire agreed right yeah if it's a traumatic incident absolutely so that's all what a mind game so my job is to show people how to play games with their mind instead of their mind playing games with them i love that one of the most common fears might be the most common one i believe is public speaking yes sir have you fixed anyone with that yeah you know the thing with public speaking it's all about me me me me me me me I mean, the illustration I give people, I say, Sean, look, let's say you had a problem with public speaking and I put you in front of an arena with 10,000 empty seats.

Could you speak?

Well, if there's nobody watching you, it's no big deal.

The moment people start coming in, what happens now?

You start internalizing, is my hair okay?

What if I say something wrong?

And it's all internal stuff.

It's all internal stuff.

And some of it is, you know, some things in your past and so forth, because a lot of it will relate to maybe you don't think you're going to be good enough.

You're going to make mistakes and so forth.

But man, it's just fear of speaking is just all internal crap.

Agreed.

All internal crap.

I used to have it, but as soon as you actually start speaking, it goes away.

Yeah, yeah.

And then once you start, you see, a lot of times, too, that we're looking for validation.

There's so many psychological things about public speaking.

I think that's why it's so challenging for people because there's so many psychological things tied to it.

Am I going to be accepted?

Am I worthy?

Will you like me?

Will you not like me?

And I remember years ago, I did a speaking engagement with Brian Tracy, right?

You've heard Brian Tracy.

And Brian and I, we were talking, and he was saying this nicely to help me out, but he he didn't realize how long I'd been speaking.

And we were in a smaller group at the time.

This was in Miami, and somebody walked out, and he kindly said, Gary, I don't know if that bothered you or not, but they may have something important that they have to do.

They're not leaving because of you.

Now, if I didn't have experience, what could I have thought?

Oh, did I say something wrong?

That person just left now.

And before you know it, you're trying to speak, but you're on this stupid dialogue about yourself again.

But there's, yeah, so much of that is psychological.

Yeah.

What do you think about people pleasers, people that try to please everyone?

Yeah, you got some issues.

You got got

to be one.

Yeah, yeah, you got issues.

I still kind of like to be helpful and please people, but it just takes away so much energy.

Yeah, there's a difference between helpful and pleasing, right?

I used to have one person that said, well, you know, they used to work with me, Gary, how do I answer that?

I don't want to be mean.

Mean is a perception as long as you're not a jerk.

You know, if I say kindly to you and you ask me something, I say kindly to you, hey, Sean, I really, I'm sorry, but I just really can't make that happen.

And you walk away and you want to call me a jerk, that's okay, but I know in good faith and in good conscience that I was really kind to you.

And when somebody's a people pleaser, there's a lot more, something way, way deeper as to why they're needing to please.

So when we're younger, we basically, there's several things that we want.

We want to be appreciated.

We want to be approved.

And when we want to be approved and appreciated, we're always doing things and also approval, right?

Appreciation, approval is important.

So we're always doing things for approval.

Now, when we're kids, we want that from our parents.

As we get older, if we're not careful, we'll look for unhealthy ways to get approval.

We'll look for unhealthy ways to feel appreciated.

And when we don't learn the

distinction between what's healthy and unhealthy, we start keep doing these unhealthy things.

And that's why some people constantly need to please people because maybe they didn't feel they got enough love and they need more attention.

And that's their only way they know how to get attention.

Right.

Yeah.

Looking back at it now, I think it was just me trying to fit in in school.

Yep.

And I was always trying to please people to make new friends.

Right, right, right.

You know, some childhood drama.

Yep.

I was a big introvert growing up, so it was hard to make friends.

Wow.

Yeah, you've come a long way, man.

Good for you.

Yeah, you have.

This is huge.

Yeah, man.

Well done.

Well done.

Dude, it's been fun.

Anything you want to promote?

I know you got the book.

Yeah, no, well,

the older book is Don't Let Others Rent Space In Your Head.

But the mastermind is my fun stuff.

You know, I love to work with other high-end coaches and authors, entrepreneurs, and show them how to really take a cool jet mastermind and take their business to another level.

A lot of these coaches are charging only like maybe $10,000 for their work when they can do it so much smarter and so much better and charge a lot more and have a lot more fun doing it.

But try to have a lot of fun doing this.

You know, you and I know, as an entrepreneur, it's not the easiest thing in the world.

And I try to do as much as I can to get as much fun out of it as possible.

I agree.

I love it.

We'll link the mastermind below.

Thanks for coming on.

Yeah, I appreciate that.

Yeah, Sean, thank you, bro.

Appreciate you.

Thanks for watching, guys.

And see you next time.

Peace.