Former Pastor Ken Joslin On How He Partnered with Grant Cardone | Digital Social Hour #131

Why do you think there's so much tension between religions?

Because people like control.

The stuff we've got going on, it's just it's control of people.

We used to divide.

We used to divide.

That's exactly right.

You better believe it.

I'm with the devil.

He's having a full conversation with the devil.

Really?

Devil is so he's basically said, I'm not even real.

In the book, he starts off saying, I'm not real.

Bob.

He says, well, how do you stay relevant?

So he said, well, what about the church?

He says, well, they mentioned me, so I'm relevant there too.

I was like, wow.

Discipline begins when inspiration and motivation end.

Not always going to be, you're not always going to be motivated.

Yeah.

But did you get your ass up?

I'm not the most talented guy in the world.

I'm not the most athletic guy in the world.

I'm not the best-looking guy in the world, but you're not going to outwork me.

Welcome back to the Digital Social Hour.

I'm your host, Sean Kelly.

I'm here with my co-host, Wayne Lewis.

What up, what up?

I'm back from vacation, y'all.

And our guest today, Ken Jocelyn, how's it going?

Man, it's good, dude.

What's up, fellas?

Good to see you guys.

I like those Jordan threes right there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got me some of those.

Of course.

Former pastor.

What was that love?

What was that life like?

Man, loved it, dude.

People ask me all the time.

Brad Lee's a good friend.

Brad, the first question he asked me on dropping bombs was, do you miss ministry?

Do you miss pastoring?

And I tell him all the time, man, I pastor more people now,

very high-level people in my mastermind, in my conferences that would never step foot in my church.

I'm having a blast, dude.

It's fun.

It's not any different what I do now than I did then.

Interesting.

So you're still religious, but you just do it in different ways.

Well, I wouldn't call it religious.

When you talk about it, it's funny because when people talk about religion, it's like the difference between religion and Christianity, there's a huge difference.

So religion is a man-made set of rules that says if you do A, B, C, and D, you and God are okay.

Like it's funny at my Korea conference in Atlanta and the one in Dallas.

A lot of people are going to hate that.

Well, they will,

but the people that understand it will get it.

For sure.

So, when you walked in my conference, I've got these giant two-foot by four-foot floor sneakers all over my conference.

The very first two, when you walk in the door, a quote I talk about all the time: God's love for you isn't predicated on your performance.

He loves you because he created you as a son or a daughter.

Absolutely.

And you're walking into an entrepreneur conference, and that's what I got on the floor.

Because the reality of it is, religion says if you jump through these hoops and you do enough right, you and God are okay.

right the gospel the word gospel means good news it's when you understand what Jesus did for you you say man you love me enough to give your life for me then what happens is because the religion says if I change on the outside there'll be change on the inside come second the gospel is when you understand and you're enlightened to what Jesus did for you and that he sacrificed his life for me And you understand that and that really comes alive in your heart, what happens is the outside behavior then begins to change because you want to change.

It's not, I'm told I have to change.

And that's really the difference between religion and what I would say relationship with Christ.

People will argue that all the time.

Like, you know, they just

want you to believe what they believe.

And I'm like, well, that's religion.

That's why you get these, you know,

I think it's created for separation in a lot of different ways.

But what you're saying is right.

I'm more spiritual.

Yeah.

So I understand.

Yeah, it is.

It really is.

I think it's just, listen, everybody, we've got our core five inside GSD is faith, health, relationship, business, and finances.

And I tell people all the time, like, I just want you to exercise your faith.

What does that look like for you?

My best friend's Persian.

He lives in Calabasas.

Forrest Magazine calls him the Tony Robbins of Persia.

He said he was on my stage at Create this year.

I put my hand on him and I said, you know, put my hand on his shoulder.

And I had him, Gary Brackett.

You guys have had Gary on the show, Vent Keller, Brent Gove, a lot of really good friends of mine.

And I had my hand on his shoulder and I said, listen, I don't care what faith you are.

I just want you to exercise your faith.

And well, I took some heat, man, on my YouTube channel, man.

God, they were blasting me, calling me heretic, all kinds of stuff.

But really, the reality of it is, was I'm like, if you spend time with me and you're with me and you see my, because my faith is real.

It's not, I just, I don't tell you what to do.

Let me live my life.

You watch how I love God and you watch how I live according to the purpose that I put in my life.

And you're going to want, you're going to ask questions.

Yeah.

Why do you think there's so much tension between religions?

Because people like control.

People like control.

I mean, everything we saw from COVID to the government to the stuff we've got going right, it's just, it's control.

People like control.

It used to divide.

It used to divide.

That's exactly right.

You better believe it.

I mean, I grew up in inner.

Oh, man, we may get, we may get like straight politics right here.

I grew up in inner city in Pontiac, Michigan.

Dad worked for General Motors.

I grew up in the hood.

You know, I have a lot.

My daughter's married to a black guy.

I got a lot of, a lot of my friends are African-American.

And when you see,

I think when you see and you take a step back and you get a different perspective.

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Peace.

And you see how our government, I don't care left, right, whatever you call it.

I did a conversation at my conference two years ago with Hugh Jackson.

Hughes a dear friend, one of 14 African-American coaches in the NFL, Raiders and the Browns.

Now he's at Grambling.

So I go and speak to his team every year.

I did last year before they played Deion.

It got waxed.

So

I think I got an invite back in this year, but Hugh and I were sitting, I was doing QA with him right behind John Maxwell.

And I said, Coach, I said, we're really good friends.

I said, I'm a 53-year-old white, conservative, former pastor.

What do I need to hear from you that I don't know?

Dude, you could have heard a pin drop in the room.

And we just had a real honest conversation about

what it looks like with race in America and division and the things that we need to hear.

Wow.

Yeah.

I want to get into Growstack Drive.

What exactly is that?

When did you start it?

And how did you grow it to be such a big deal?

Yeah, dude.

I met this crazy 5-foot-5 little bitty dude named Grant Cardone in October of 2019.

And I met Grant.

I went down to his boot camp and I went to, hopped on this webinar on a Saturday.

And he was going to, he's talking about coaching and mentorship and stuff like that.

And I didn't know who Grant was.

I had no idea.

I clicked an Instagram ad.

Dude, you click an Instagram ad on Grant, you're screwed.

You're like Alice in Wonderland, dude.

You're in the rabbit hole forever, right?

So I went down and I had an impromptu meeting.

I met Grant 101, and he said, Ken, why are you here?

I said, dude, I want to blow the lid off my mindset of what's a lot of money because I want to help pastors equip their business guys in their church so they don't struggle financially.

And he goes to Kenneth, let me help you.

We've been friends and a mentor for three years.

And so, right after that, I became one of Grant's first licensees and I started GSD, and it was just really a passion to be able to coach and mentor and help high-level business people around the country.

Nice.

Yeah.

And through GSD, you went on to meet people like Jordan Peterson.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, um, Yes, so Jordan, guys like Brendan Bouchard, um, Gary Breca, Grant, yeah, guys, Sharon Lecter.

Sharon Lecter is a co-author of Rich Dad Poor Dad.

I just had Sharon on my my coaching call Wednesday night.

We're actually doing a two-month series on

Think and Grow Rich.

I had Sharon on because she actually took a two-month series?

Yeah, we're doing two months.

We're doing 13 principles.

So we're doing one or two principles every week.

So I had her on because she sits on the Napoleon Hill Foundation.

She's the one the Napoleon Hill family gave the manuscript for Outwitting the Devil, which is a phenomenal book.

Oh, my God.

You've never read it.

Books.

I read it three times.

But it's insane.

It's insane.

Insane.

I haven't read that one.

Oh, my goodness.

What is it called?

I'm with you and the devil.

He's having a full conversation with the devil.

Really?

The devil is telling him exactly what he does.

He tells you he's not real.

He's a figment of your imagination, but he's everything negative.

His opposition, which he calls God.

He says he's positive.

So he's basically said, I'm not even real in the book.

He starts off saying, I'm not real.

Wow.

He says, well, how do you stay relevant?

He said, well, he said, well, what about the church?

He says, well, they mentioned me.

So I'm relevant there, too.

I was like, Wow, wow, book is the book is crazy.

So, they actually gave the family 60 years, 70 years after because they didn't want to publish it.

The wife was like, No, we don't want this out there because it was that controversial.

So, they finally gave Sharon the manuscript, and it was the original typed manuscript with all of Napoleon's handwritten notes on it.

They gave it to Sharon, she went to her place in San Diego.

She just shared a story with me on Wednesday night, probably one of the creepiest books I've read.

But on Audible, bro, creepy, creepy.

Her voice is like creepy, It's crazy.

It is.

Yeah.

So anyway, I just get an opportunity to meet some amazing, amazing people, man.

Yeah.

And how do you keep these people in your network?

What kind of value are you providing them to keep them as awareness?

So this is one of the things I love to talk about.

People ask me all the time.

They say, Ken, how do you get the friends you get?

I mean, I get to spend time with some amazing people.

And great leaders want something for people, not from people.

And I'm telling you, when you approach people from a standpoint of, Sean, I don't want something from you.

I don't want either.

What can I do to help you?

How can I help you?

How can I add value to your life?

A year ago, a year and a half ago, I finished my first creative conference in Atlanta.

Jesse Itzler, John Maxwell, Gary Brecca was there, my good friend Brent Gove, one of the top guys at eXp Realty.

And I had a list of five guys, Randy Garn, New York Times best-selling author on the board with Tony Robbins, one of my best friends.

And I called, I had five guys and I called each of them.

And I said, here's what I want to do.

My word for this year is intentionality.

So the year and a half ago, and I said, I want to invest in our relationship.

And I said, I want to take our friendship to the next level.

I'm willing to invest three things.

My time, my talent, and my treasure into our relationship.

My time, I'm going to fly where you live.

I'm going to spend time with you.

I'm going to put it on my camera.

And I'm busy.

I'm going to put it on my calendar.

Dude, I've been to Salt Lake City to see Randy half a dozen times in the last year and a half.

I've been to Calabasas in L.A.

to spend time with Jeff.

I was just there three weeks ago for a week.

I've been to Gary Brecca's in Miami several times.

Brent and Kathy live in Puerto Rico.

I've been to Puerto Rico.

Dick Keller lives in Dallas.

Andy's got a place in Whitefish, Montana.

I've been to both.

Brian Covey's a senior vice president of a Revolution Mortgage in Nashville.

I was there two weeks, three weeks ago.

So I spend time with these guys.

Like I'm going to calendar time to spend time with you.

Talent, this is the important thing.

And I think this is what people miss when you talk about high-level relationships.

I'm going to use my talent to help your dreams come to pass.

Who do you need to know?

How can I help you, Sean?

Like,

how can I help your podcast grow?

Who do you need?

I even told you on a text message, you need Vic Keller.

You want Vic Keller on your podcast?

Dude sold 11 companies to Buffett for like a gazillion dollars.

Like legit.

Like all my friends and relationships, I have those relationships.

I'm just a conduit and I understand that.

So time, talent, I'm going to use my talent and my relationships to help your dreams come to pass.

And then my treasure.

If you're doing an event, I'm spending money.

When Brent did his build event, does it every year?

Tony Robbins comes in, Dean Graziosi, I'm there.

Gary Breck is there.

His front row seat's like four or five grand, whatever.

As soon as he's going to sell, sell, I buy one.

Oh, you buy your own friends' tickets?

You better believe I do.

I don't ever ask for a discount.

Wow.

I buy it because I'm going to invest my treasure into what you're doing.

You said why.

No, I said wow, because most people I feel like would just show up and don't do it.

How, if I'm your friend and I want you to win, how in the world am I going to not invest in what you're doing?

I mean, you're going to ask a stranger to invest?

I don't ask anybody to invest in my stuff.

But if I'm going to do your stuff, I'm on a call.

It's me, Gary Brecca, Dr.

T, one of the top NLPs, and Dr.

Rob Kelly.

He's out out of San Antonio.

He's the number one addiction specialist doctor in the world, 97% success rate with the clients he takes on.

Whoa.

Dude, when you look at his, it's all A-listers.

His Zoom shot of his A-listers are like Will Farrow, Will Farrow, Wonder Woman, James Madison.

I mean, all these Hollywood stars, Stephen Tyler.

It's just, when you see him, you know everybody.

I'm on a Zoom call with all these guys one day, and all I'm doing is introducing them.

I'm introducing all four of them together because they don't know each other.

I'm like, you guys need to know each other.

And Gary, I said, Gary, you speaking at GrowthCon?

He gets pumped.

This was about a year and a half ago.

He gets so fired up.

He's like, dude, man, I'm speaking on Friday.

Grant gave me 90 minutes.

Are you going to be there?

I'm like, dude, you better leave Amy.

What's the date?

I look at my calendar and I'm like,

I got front row tickets to go see Eric Church in Birmingham.

They cost me a thousand bucks a piece.

Gary, I'll be there.

I put them, I sold them.

I think I lost a thousand bucks.

I picked up the phone.

I called Jim Morales, who is Grant's CFO, and I said, hey, I need a $10,000 diamond seat to sit on the front row.

Not only did I sell my tickets, but I paid $10,000 to sit in the front row.

So when Gary came down the runway for the very first time, I'm standing there right on the front row.

And he beelined to me when he saw me and hugged my neck right before he gets up on stage.

Wow.

And it was one of the most impactful talks I've heard at GrowthCon in the last three or four years.

Wow.

It's incredible.

So time, talent, and treasure.

Like when you do those things and you want something for them, not from them, dude, you start attracting what I call champions.

like that that really is the motto of everything we do at our conference in dallas we gather champions we have some of the most amazing human beings in that room and on that stage that you're ever going to want to be around a lot of my guys carlos reyes i don't know if you guys know carlos or not yeah dear friend dude brought his whole family to atlanta my dude let me take let me pay you nope let me take care of your travel nope I love you, dude.

I'm going to support you.

Anthony Trux, Trux speaks on everybody's stages.

30 to 100 grand a pop.

Dude, just take care of my plane ticket.

I'm like, dude, you sure?

He goes, yeah, man.

I love you.

I want to support you.

like okay and these guys know if they need me i'm gonna be there dude i'm there hand whatever they need wow because a lot of your speakers would normally charge 100k to just talk but you're getting them just off relationships yeah most most of them are off relationships well yeah they say the most powerful thing is relationships not money

it's uh proximity is a cheat code right i'm telling you it when you

and again it's wanting something for them.

So all throughout the year, I'm like, dude, how can I, this morning, I'm texting and connecting people.

I'm texting and connecting.

I don't even know you.

I mean, I met you through Gary and Sage.

I mean, I'm like, who does he need to know?

Who does he need to have on?

Who could help him?

And I'm just, I'm constantly thinking that way.

Wow.

And you want to circle all the way back to our conversation about Jesus earlier?

That's what he did.

He goes, man, I'm just here to connect you with my father.

I'm here to connect you with the people you need to know so you can become the best version of yourself.

Incredible.

Imagine if everybody thought like that.

World group.

You know how many friends would actually be?

It would be just so many groups of powerful people Yeah.

Because they all help one another, but we just, society hasn't painted that picture for a lot of us.

You know what I'm saying?

Let me let me tell you, Vic Keller, the guy I told you about earlier, Vic's become a dear friend.

One of my really good friends is a CMO of one.

He owns 17 companies now.

Shares, I think, nine of them.

And one of my best friends, like, hey, you need to have a call with Vic.

So in August, I had a 15-minute scheduled call with Vic.

Dude, we hit it off.

It was an hour and 27-minute conversation.

This guy's a billionaire.

The last 15 minutes of the call, he asked me six times, Ken, what can I do for you?

I said, Vic, I don't need anything from you.

I said, he kept asking me, dude, I want to help you.

I love your mission.

I love your vision.

I love what you're doing.

How can I help you?

I said, dude, Vic, I don't need anything from you.

The sixth time he asked me, six times, I said, I'll tell you what you can do.

I said, November the 1st to the 5th, I got my mastermind in Scottsdale.

I said, fly in and speak for a day.

Hang out.

Randy Garner's going to be there.

Gary Brackett's going to be there.

We had Dana White come in on a Zoom call with me that day and speak to our master.

I said, just come hang out.

This is what he said.

He goes, I'll give you one day.

I said, okay.

So Monday night, the 31st, it was Halloween.

Everybody came and we did dinner.

We started on Tuesday afternoon.

Well, Vic flew in on his jet from Omaha.

He had lunch or he had dinner on Sunday afternoon with Warren Buffett.

So he comes in.

He comes in on Tuesday.

He gets ready to speak and he goes, hey, Ken, I need your videographers to turn the cameras off.

I said, sure.

I said, Turn your cameras off.

He goes, I need everybody to place your phone face down on the table.

I'm going to, he goes, I'm going to spend the next 45 minutes telling you what I've learned from Warren Buffett over the last eight years.

Could have heard pin drop in the room.

Wow.

Vic stayed all three days.

He's at every one of my events.

I talk to him two or three days a week.

And anytime I have a business thing that

I need wisdom on or help on, I pick the phone up and I call Vic.

Who else is going to be able to help me like that?

Wow.

And he showed up because I just was constantly like, dude, I don't need anything.

Who do you need to know?

Who do I know that you need to connect with?

And that's that wanting something for people, not from people, guys.

I'm telling you, if you live your life that way, you're like a magnet for amazing people who want to be around you.

It's powerful.

What do you feel like the main problem is now with like

today's society and culture when it comes to that?

Are we not catering enough to one another or are we not just good friends?

Yeah, so I, so I've got four daughters, my 27-year-old daughter.

When my daughters were in kindergarten,

I used to, every day I dropped them off.

I own my mortgage company back in the mid-2000s for about six, seven years.

I'd drop them off at school and I said, hey, listen, baby, we're a servant leader.

Our family, we're servant leaders.

Servant leaders do three things.

We put other people's needs before our own.

We do things right the first time and we do things without being asked.

Every day when I dropped my kids off for school, they would tell me what a servant leader was.

And then when I picked them up from school, they would give me an example of how they were a servant leader that day.

Daddy, we came in from recess.

It was hot.

Johnny wanted water.

I let him go in front of me.

Miss Green's trash, and you'd be taking that dad.

She's nasty.

I just took it out.

I'm like, okay, awesome.

My daughter goes to college in Birmingham.

She works at a brand new Chick-fil-A.

The owner-operator has two Chick-fil-A stores.

She just keeps getting promoted, promoted, promoted, promoted, promoted.

The owner-operator comes in.

He's like, You're like 19 years old.

How are you getting all this team?

She was like the front end kitchen manager or whatever.

How do you get all these people to do what you asked them to do?

And she goes, it's super simple.

I practice the three characteristics of a servant leader.

My dad taught me since I was in kindergarten.

She sent me a picture from her iPhone.

He had her write, you know, in the kitchen or in the front on the Chick-fil-As where they have the little stainless steel where they slide the fries and the nuggets down, was written three characteristics of a servant leader.

And so

I think the biggest thing is in our culture, man.

That's what we're lacking.

If we would develop people who have an attitude and a heart to serve other people.

When you add value and you serve people, people want to be in a relationship with you.

You can either be transactional or you can be relational.

And if you're relational, I tell people that you're going to make more money than you know what to do with.

And what's your definition of transactional?

It's just, I'm with you or I'm with you just so I can build my brand or I can get a check.

Or it equates into

what my bank account looks like.

Gotcha.

And when you're relational and you really care for people and you want something for them, not from them, you lay your head down on the pillow at night time and you guys get this.

I can tell you get this.

Like, there's a level of fulfillment you get to live at.

I don't care how many comments you got in your bank account.

I know a lot of wealthy people who are freaking miserable.

Really?

And

I know a lot of guys who are not poor, but have decent money, who live at such a high level of fulfillment because they know they're making a difference in the lives of people God sent to them.

And why do you think those people are miserable?

So our number five, faith, health, relationship, business, and finances.

I know a lot of guys who focus on the business and the finances, but their faith, health, and relationships are a mess.

And the reality of it is, is we're created.

We're the only beings created with a spirit.

We're flesh, soul, which is our mind, will, emotions, and our spirit man.

We're the only animal, the only creature that has a spirit because God created us in his image.

And we're created and designed to serve people.

We're created and designed to love and be unselfish.

And when you live a life that way and you really do want something for people, not from people,

you don't live for the dollar.

You don't live to get wealthy.

And there's nothing wrong with any of those things.

Nothing wrong with those things, but you really do live to serve people.

And when you do that, especially when you're doing stuff like I've got a real estate team and stuff like that, when you do real estate or any kind of service-based industry and you take care and you serve people, people are going to do business with you because of who you are.

Right.

Now, there's this notion on social media that billionaires are selfish, that people like Elon and Mark could save world hunger if they wanted to.

You hang around with a lot of billionaires.

What has your experience been like with them?

Man, they're some of the most generous people that I know.

I mean, the ones that I know,

I mean, Vic sits on the board of Acts 29.

It's crazy how my perception of billionaires and what he actually experienced is totally different.

I mean, and I'm sure you can find some that are not.

Because I think that people just, their problem is they want them to do what they want them to do.

Right.

Well, the problem is most people that say, most people that say other people aren't generous are really, I call it the fat girl syndrome.

It's like two girls in high school when they're fighting, they're both fat.

The first one to call the other person fat wins because it gets the attention off of them that they're fat too.

You know, and it's like when people accuse you of doing something, the reason they accuse you is, is because they're not generous either.

They're projecting.

Yeah.

That's exactly right.

Because they don't want you to look at them and go, well, Henderson, you're not generous either.

Right.

And I'm sure you can find people that aren't generous.

And they're not feeding the homeless either.

Yeah.

I just don't.

I mean, my best friend Jeff is working with Tony robbins on his billion meal mandate or whatever him and randy garn both are working on that

i think jeff just did i think it's a billion meals

jeff just bought 400 000 meals for tony

honored him they did a big event they did um in new york city i don't know about four or five months ago amazing so i mean i've got guys man that are really they're really they really have a heart to serve and help people yeah Who are some guys you met that just completely changed your life, like your perspective?

You know, Grant.

And there's some things with Grant that I don't agree with.

Obviously, you know, we're, but dude, he, I've had several one-on-one conversations with Grant, and he's always been gracious to me.

He's given me a platform, pulled me in on Instagram lives.

I spoke down at 10X two or three times to the team.

He's been, he's been phenomenal for me.

Vic Keller is one of those guys.

Randy Garn, Gary Breck.

I was on the phone.

I told you guys on the phone with Gary Sage this morning.

I've lost 82 pounds in three years.

Gary's been a huge, he's been hugely instrumental in that.

Wow.

You know, my best friend, Jeff, I mean, when you get around Brent Gove, he's one of the top guys of the XP, 29,000 agents in his downline, 1.2 million a month in residual income.

Gosh.

I mean, when you get around these guys, and these guys, I tell people all the time, this is what's different about what we're doing in our, in our, I call it a movement at our conference and our mastermind is,

like, they're amazing entrepreneurs.

but they're even more amazing human beings.

They are amazing human beings.

And I think being around the guys that I get to be around that are at that level and then seeing, I just sent a voice text to all.

I've got six people on my text thread.

Gary Brecca, Randy Garn, Vic Keller, Brian Covey, Master Jeff, and

Brent Go.

Those are the six thousand.

I sent a text this morning and I just 30, 45 seconds on what I loved about every single one of them.

Wow.

And I'm like, dude, I love you guys.

Like, Gary Brecca, this is what I love about you.

Randy Garn, this is what I love about you.

And I just went through that.

Dude, the text messages after that of us firing back is Proverbs 27, 17, iron sharpens iron.

Dude, we're constantly sharpening each other.

My best friend, Jeff, went to his house at the beginning of the year, and he goes, what's your goal this year?

I said, dude, I'm going to make a million bucks.

He leaned across.

We're sitting in his backyard at Calabasas.

I mean, he lived right across the street from one of the Kardashians, right?

He leans across Raddy's pool and he puts his hand on my knee.

He goes, a month or a week?

I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you don't understand.

I said, we should do about $5.192 million in revenue.

I'm going to make a million dollars this year myself.

And he goes, he leans, he puts his hand on my knee.

He goes, a month or a week.

And then it hit me.

And I'm like, I said, dude, just let me catch up to making a million dollars a year.

And then I'll get to the million a month.

When you get around those guys, they don't let you think small.

Like they force you to think and believe bigger than you can believe on your own.

Wow.

It truly is iron-sharpening iron.

I like that.

Yeah.

So you're big on manifestation.

I mean, I guess it's manifestation.

you work your ass off until God moves in such a way that it happens.

And I've got a concept that I created three years ago called incremental, not monumental.

My weight loss journey and my business journey.

Small daily disciplined decisions over time always equal monumental results.

Success can't escape you when you do the right things every single day.

Every single day.

And it's, dude, it's you got to do the things.

We're on a call.

This is funny.

We're on a mentorship call with Grant.

There's 1,200 people in the Zoom call.

It's huge.

And

Grant and Elena were on the call, and he goes, I'm going to give you guys homework.

I want you to ask five people this week to describe you in one sentence or less.

I text Grant and Jared.

I said, hey, I got a question.

Grant calls me preacher.

He goes, what you got, preacher?

I said, hey, G, this guy named Grant Cardone gave me some homework.

I was supposed to ask five people to describe me in one sentence.

Since you and Elena are right there sitting side by side, can you guys be my first two people?

And he just laughs, right?

Grant laughs and he goes, he thinks for a second.

He looks at me.

He goes, did you always show up?

Every Every time I look up, there you are on social media.

You're doing your own events.

You're sitting in the front row of my events.

I'm on an Instagram live.

There you are.

Like every time I look up, you're there every single day.

And it literally is putting in the work when you don't feel like putting in the work.

I was just texting Ben Newman.

He's a huge, phenomenal,

like a sports psychologist coach.

He was being with Nick Sabin in Alabama for five years.

And I text Ben.

One of the things I commented, I said, you know, discipline begins when inspiration and motivation end.

You're not always going to be motivated.

Yeah.

But did you get your ass up?

I'm not the most talented guy in the world.

I'm not the most athletic guy in the world.

I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but you're not going to outwork me.

You're not going to get up every single day at 4 a.m.

like I'm going to and get in the gym and do the things that I do every single day.

And over time,

I heard somebody say this several years ago.

We always overestimate what we can do in the short term and we underestimate what we can do in the long term.

It's a marathon, man.

It's not a sprint.

Well, because people want instant gratification.

They want it.

That's a society.

They want it because Instagram exposes you to so much impact.

It's so like right now, you can have this right now, right now, right now.

So we're chasing that, like the now versus, like you said, the long-term incremental successes and the micro successes.

People want to focus on the macro bad.

And it's hard to make a million dollars if you've never made $100,000 before.

They don't understand that.

But when you get to make a guys that are making more than a million dollars a year, all of a sudden you go, man, this is possible.

Man, we can do this.

Like, I can, because you look at guys and you're like,

and one of the things Vic told us about Warren Buffett that first day, and he had dinner, he calls him Mr.

B.

He goes,

he's a man just like I am.

He puts his pants on just like I do.

But he's been doing the same thing every single day, seven days a week, since he was 17 years old.

So he's been doing it for 75 years.

That compound interest over time, over time, over time, over time.

it's just i think he's been getting 20 a year for 50 years straight crazy dude like do the numbers on that bro that crazy returns are crazy yeah

um have you had any rock bottom moments or have you always been just man no dude i uh ended a 27 year marriage about a year and a half ago four daughters um how was that hardest moment in my life i mean i pastored for 15 years man um hardest moment in my life um

i mean i remember it was march of last year it's about a year and a half i walked out of mediation on Friday.

I was in mediation with my attorney, and the median attorney came in, and she goes, she looked at me, she's like a 65-year-old grandma, kind of like the attorney that don't put up in a shit, right?

And she just kind of grabs my hand and she goes, tell me what happened.

I just lost.

I'm crying.

I'm like, what?

I've been separated at that time for over two years.

I'm like, what is wrong with me?

Why am I doing this?

And

I signed all the stuff that day, and she goes, your divorce will be fine on Monday.

And I walked outside and I called Jeff, my best friend in Calabasas.

I said, dude, man, I'm struggling.

He goes, I'm going going to send you a plane ticket, fly out here.

And I flew to Calabasas and I spent nine days at Jeff's house.

And the first five or six days, he would not let me talk about business.

He goes, we're not talking business.

He goes, I just want you to be here and get healed.

And

it started me on a journey, just a healing journey for me personally for the last year and a half.

And it's been an unbelievable ride for me, my daughters, just really strengthening those relationships.

Yeah, so

it's not always good.

life life can be hard and that's why those relationships are question now yeah is healing and accepting the same thing because i feel like

i mean i may be wrong but i feel like we truly don't heal in a sense but i feel like we learn to accept which is totally different from i don't i don't think you can heal until you accept so it's they're the same thing yeah i don't think well i mean there's i think there's things that you can do you learn how to

dude i have i have at one time had three therapists i have two right now wow i have two so you were going to see him different days i have have two.

Dr.

Robb's online.

He's an NLP guy.

Maxine is, I tell people, she's a mild version of Medea.

She's an older, 50-year-old black lady who don't put up with nothing.

I walk in the door.

She's like, you pray in the spirit this week?

How you and Jesus doing?

I'm like, we're good.

We're good, Ms.

Maxine.

And

I see her, and then Lauren is a dear friend.

She speaks at all my conferences.

She's one of the top somatic therapists and dating and relationship coaches

on social media.

She's phenomenal.

I meet with her every week, and we do somatic therapy.

I walked into Maxine's office last March, right after my divorce was final, first time I met her.

And she said, tell me your story.

Tell me a little about you.

And I said,

born in Detroit.

I was raised in Pontiac.

Parents got divorced and I was eight years old in second grade.

Mom moved us to the Atlanta area.

From my sixth grade year to my senior year of high school, I moved back and forth to my dad six different times.

And she looked at me and she goes, why in the world would you want to move so many times?

I said, Maxine, I didn't have a choice.

If I ever got in trouble, my mom would say, go pack a bag.

I had 24 to 48 hours.

I was on a bus, a plane, or my dad was on the way from Detroit to pick me up.

She wrote in her journal, and then she looked at me and said something to me that was probably, I've had two aha moments in my life.

One in August of 93 when I gave my life to Christ.

I was 25 years old.

And then this moment.

And she asked me this question.

She goes, Ken, how do you think that's affected your relationship with the women in your life who are supposed to love and protect you?

And I lost it.

Three weeks before that, I was in San Francisco with a woman that I love very much that I was dating.

We didn't even make it out of San Francisco.

We had an argument.

I got triggered.

I made her pull the car over.

I got my suitcase out of the car and I left.

Wow.

And so here was a 53-year-old man living out the trauma of a 13-year-old boy, except now you're not going to tell me to leave.

I'm going to leave before you tell me to leave.

And it was an eye-opening experience.

And I spent 14 months really doing a lot of therapy and reading the Masculine in Relationship by G.S.

Youngblood, The Way of the Masculine Man Man by David Data,

Therapy with Dr.

Rob, Therapy with Lauren, Therapy with Maxine.

Why those books?

Just people recommended them.

Some of my therapists recommended them to me.

And really learning how to control my central nervous system to where I didn't get triggered and just react.

So do you feel childhood trauma?

Well,

I feel like it does, but your childhood trauma is kind of the mold or sets the tone of how you view life, relationships, love, and anything.

Oh, a thousand percent.

A lot of times, I had no idea, dude.

I'm 53 years old.

The one question I kept asking Maxine and Lauren is, how in the world have I not?

I mean, it's not like I've not been to therapy before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How in the world did I not know this was there?

Right.

Like, and there's just moments in your life you have no idea those things are there.

So at my conference this year, I mean, literally.

On the at the end of Friday, I brought Lauren up.

So faith, health, relationships, and the relationship section.

Lauren comes up.

She talks about masculine, feminine, and polarity in relationship.

And then then I come up, we grab two high top, we tip two bar stools, and I share my story just like I shared with you.

350 foreign people, not a dry eye in the place.

And then I've talked about how do we know that we have unresolved trauma?

Two things.

Number one, we react versus responding.

Like when somebody says something, you get triggered and it goes zero to 100 quick.

You can just feel your temperature gauge going.

Reactive.

You react instead of responding.

Because response is, okay, let me sit with it.

Let me process it.

Let me hold space.

Okay.

And then

you can have a calm conversation.

I could not do that a year ago.

Not even close.

Second thing is, if you can't set and keep healthy boundaries.

If you're in a relationship and you can't set and keep healthy boundaries, there's probably some unresolved trauma that's a reason why you can't do that.

And it just takes work.

It's no different.

Dude, I've lost 80 pounds.

I was in, that's a plan of fitness busting my ass this morning, lifting like a fiend, on the treadmill, sweating, Peloton at home, F-45 class, all this stuff.

Gary's 10x health systems, I'm on all that stuff.

You have to do those things, and therapy is no different.

And you still like

men have less support than women when it comes to the emotional aspects.

Why is that?

Because we're supposed to be men.

We're supposed to be.

Yeah, but we're emotional beings, too.

Yeah, but it's just, again, it's a societal thing that says this is how you're supposed to be.

And the reality of it is, dude, when I was in Urban's Mastermind in LA, and I'm talking about high-level Joe Marion's in that room with us, Kent Clothe, it's a very high-level room.

And I'm sitting sitting there, and there was a couple of guys, dude, and they just broke down.

I'm talking about very wealthy guys dealing with father issues, dealing with anger issues from people who had betrayed them.

And I'm just watching this dynamic in this room.

And even in my own mastermind, I'm watching this dynamic of people being free to really drop the curtain and go, hey, dude, here's what's going on in the inside.

And I heard Craig Richell, he pastors, probably one of the largest churches, like church in Oklahoma.

They've got hundreds of campuses.

I heard Craig Richelle say this 15 years ago at a pastor's dinner.

There were a dozen of us there.

He said, guys, you're only as sick as your secrets.

You're only as sick as your secrets.

Somebody should know what's going on in your life.

Not everybody, but one or two guys.

And I have one or two guys.

Out of that six, my best friend, Jeff, knows what's going on in my life.

He knows Vic Keller knows what's going on in my life.

There is nothing I keep from those guys.

Absolutely nothing.

They know everything about me.

So it's important to have at least one person that you could just vent to.

Dude, here's who I am.

Non-judgment zone.

That's exactly right.

You need that.

I mean, you got to call them crying and they just listen.

I said this on my stage at Create.

These guys, I had all of them lined up.

I said, these guys love me for me.

They don't love me for the impact I make.

They don't love me for the stages I have or the mastermind.

They love me.

They love Ken.

They don't love Ken because he runs GSD or runs a mastermind or hangs out with Grant or does all.

They love me because of who I am as a human being.

And when you can find friends or relationships like that, dude, it's a game changer, man.

Absolutely.

It's a game changer.

But the therapy thing, let me say this for some of you guys listening.

The therapy thing is this.

Like, we tell people, like, therapy has like this bad connotation, right?

It does.

Therapy is just like getting your oil changed in your car.

You don't change your oil when your engine locks up.

You change your oil every three to 5,000 miles so your engine doesn't lock up.

Right.

Therapy is the exact same way.

It's just preventative maintenance.

Preventative.

That's it.

Preventative maintenance.

Ken, this has been so powerful, man.

For real.

I'm inspired.

Where can people find out more about you and what are you up to?

At Ken Jocell on Instagram.

That's the best place.

GrowstackDrive.com forward slash create Dallas.

We're going to be in Dallas at the end of July.

Yeah, but Instagram's the number one place.

Awesome.

Wayne, make sure you guys follow me on Instagram at the Creator.

And thanks for watching.

Thanks for tuning in, guys.

See you next time.

Peace.