Laura Clery: Social Media Is the New Drug And We’re All Addicted | DSH #1567

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Sobriety brought us together, addiction tore us apart.

But spirituality, I'm super into.

I think it's innate.

I think it's within all of us.

And when we deny ourselves of spiritual practice of believing in some sort of power greater than ourselves, we're depressed and anxious and probably have some sort of mental disorder.

Money, it does not fill the hole in the soul, like I said, right?

We're not meant to be alone.

We're not meant to be isolated.

We're meant to have people around us in whatever capacity, even introverts.

yeah you're meant to have whatever your loved one your family sense of community and when we shift our perception from what can i give rather than what can i get everything opens up

okay now we're started we got laura here host of the idiot podcast we are in las vegas short flight for you thanks for joining us yeah thank you for having me your life been pretty crazy lately or what oh man i mean i don't know what you know what do you know i've watched a couple pods you know you're going through some stuff.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

Is that the main thing for you right now?

Your podcast?

Idiot podcast?

Yeah, I would say so.

I would say that's the main thing.

Yeah.

You're a podcaster now.

Isn't that weird?

It's crazy, right?

I know.

It's a weird lifestyle.

It's just kind of the thing to do.

It's in right now.

You get respect for it almost.

Yeah.

I feel like you used to get bullied for it.

Do you...

Did you get bullied for a podcast?

No, mine's two years old, so I joined late, to be honest.

But I feel like they didn't get the respect they used to like five ten years ago this marshawn beast mode lynch prize pick is making sports season even more fun on progs picks whether you a football fan a basketball fan it always feel good to be right and right now new users get fifty dollars instantly in lineups when you play your first five dollars the app is simple to use pick two or more players pick more or less on their stat projections anything from touchdown to threes and if you write you can win big mix and match players from any sport on prize picks america's number one daily fantasy sports app prize picks is available in 40 plus states including california texas florida and georgia most importantly all the transactions on the app are fast safe and secure download the prize picks app today and use code spotify to get fifty dollars in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup that's code spotify to get fifty dollars in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup prize picks it's good to be right must be present in a certain six.

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Well, it's like, it's like daytime TV, and I feel like it's a good way to consistently monetize.

So if you're a content creator, it's smart to have a podcast, you know, whereas like my main source of income pre-podcast was like video monetization, and that can be so, or like brand deals, even, right?

Some months it's great, other months it's not.

And so

it's smart and also just interesting to talk to people and learn things.

It is interesting.

That.

Like, that's cool.

We just get to have conversations with interesting people.

Yeah.

Yesterday I had on a billionaire, a trans channeler.

Trance channeler.

What is, what is that?

So she channels while she's not present.

She channels only trans people?

No, trance.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

She wasn't trans, but she was from Bali.

She flew in, channeled on the podcast for 10, 15 minutes, and that was interesting.

And then right after her, I had on a billionaire.

So just like, you meet all sorts of people.

You're like, give me, Shammy, your money.

Nah, I'm not a liberal.

Come on.

No.

Give it.

You got to earn your dough.

Give me that money.

No.

Nah, you got to eat what you kill.

You know?

No handouts out here.

No handouts.

That's right.

No.

Yeah.

But did he teach you some tips and tricks on how to become a billionaire?

Is that even something you're interested in?

I used to want to become super rich i still do billionaire is a whole nother level though i think i think yeah there's a lot of sacrifice at that level he was telling me he doesn't even go to his kids sports game

he doesn't even know his children's name he knows their names but he doesn't go to the games you know and i have some trauma from that i'm gonna just keep it 100 like oh damn my parents weren't at my soccer games and basketball games oh were they at your events growing up My mom was, yeah.

My dad was a workaholic, so he was never really around, you know?

I mean, look, and I, it wasn't that I was resentful, but he just wasn't there, you know.

Um, but now I'm appreciative because he allowed for my mom to be a stay-at-home mom, and I had the best mom ever.

I still do, if she's alive, and she was just like made my childhood so fun, just like games, and

she was just like a loving, fun, creative mom who just allowed me to be who I was meant to be type shit.

So I feel very lucky that I had a nice mom.

I think if you have one good parent, you're, you're, you know.

You just need one.

You got one?

I got one.

You got one?

One and a half.

One and a half.

That's great.

One and a half.

My dad was, uh, they got divorced when I was 10.

Really?

So one and a half.

He did his best, so I give him that half point, but he had autism.

Wait, get out of here.

Yeah, so he didn't.

He was doing his best for what he knew how to do, you know?

That's my dad, too.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Diagnosed late or early?

Not diagnosed, but

he is on the spectrum.

Like, it's wild.

Like, he watched pulp fiction every single day for two years straight.

He's autistic.

Yeah.

He's a science nerd, music nerd,

has a strong social deficit, doesn't really have friends, will like hyper-focus on

a topic and be totally unaware that we don't know what he's talking about.

You know how they like talk about their special interests for like hours and hours.

Yeah, non-stop.

Yeah.

It's all the signs, just everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He my dad got diagnosed at 60.

Get out.

Late.

And what led to the diagnosis?

I don't know if it was planned.

He kind of just was on prescriptions and I guess one of his doctors was like, you should get tested, you know?

Like, it wasn't really talked about when we were growing up.

Like, I never even thought he had it.

And now, looking back, it's so apparent that he did have it.

Because you're always like, growing up, you're just the eccentric person.

Like, he was just eccentric.

He didn't pick up on social cues.

Oh, yeah.

That's a big thing.

Yeah, I got some really awkward memories thinking about that.

I think about the kids I went to school with and how

now I look back and I'm like, oh, they were autistic.

But then it was just like the eccentric, weird kid.

Not to, you know, not in a bad way, just like different,

you know, wired differently.

There's levels to it.

Big time.

Yeah.

Like my son is nonverbal,

six years old.

That's being more common these days than nonverbal ones.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess it, I hate to say nonverbal because he can string sentences together.

He's brilliant.

He's so smart.

He just,

but he's not conversational.

You know, like my four-year-old will, if she met you, she'd be like, oh my God, I like the color of your shirt.

Where did you get that?

What are we having for lunch today?

Like she talks enough for the two of them.

Yeah.

But he can string together sentences and get his wants and needs met, but he's not conversational.

So they do say that that is nonverbal, but it's that's debatable.

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

I thought nonverbal was no words at all.

No, like he'll say, Let's go for a walk, like that, and we'll go for a walk.

But he's not, if I say, How are you, Alfie?

He's not going to be like, I'm good, you know, I'm a little tired, but I'm good.

He'll, if I say, How are you?

He'll just look at me in the eyes and smile, or he'll frown or something.

Like, he'll tell me with his face.

How, how I get him to speak more is I give him options or yes or no.

So I say, Are you happy?

Yes or no?

And he'll go, yes.

Or no.

And so he'll tell me how he's feeling.

Like yesterday he wasn't feeling well.

He said, are you sick?

Yes or no?

Yes.

School?

Yes or no?

No.

You know?

So he can understand.

Oh, everything.

Everything.

Interesting.

Yes.

Yeah.

I'm fascinated by it.

Did you watch the telepathy tapes?

So good.

I mean, I listened to the first maybe like four or so.

Do you think he has that ability?

I've tried.

I've tried with him, and I feel like he's just a little young too.

Sometimes I do feel like he knows what I'm thinking.

We're very close.

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And he'll like stare at me in my eyes for like an uncomfortable amount of time.

I love it, but like he's just really connecting in this way.

I swear I say, and this probably sounds bad, I feel like he's on mushrooms all the time.

Like he just experiences things at such a heightened level.

And like his joy is when it starts raining, he's like, yee, and just the level of joy of the rain is different than like how you and I experience the rain.

And then if it stops raining, he looks up and he goes, the rain is broken.

The rain is broken.

It's just interesting, like the way

his brain works.

But he experiences joy on another level.

And up at also sadness and anger.

It's like everything is so extreme.

Wow.

That is interesting.

Yeah.

My friend's the commentator for the Psy Games.

Have you heard of that?

No.

It's a psychic games where people compete in psychic challenges.

And this was the first year they did it.

And they brought out the kids from the telepathy tapes.

And he said one of the girls was like,

it was insane.

Like people would write down like words and she'd be not even facing them.

And she would say every single word.

That's so crazy.

It's crazy.

It's almost like, you know, blind musicians.

They don't have sight, so they're that much more tapped into their ability to play.

Not all of them.

I'm just saying there are some.

And so, like, if you're non-verbal, perhaps your other senses are even more heightened, right?

Because a lot of the telepathy tapes, they're pretty much all non-verbal, right?

Yeah, pretty much.

So they've developed a way to heighten whatever that, what's what is that even?

Just some, I we can't even explain it yet.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whatever that is.

It's fourth dimension or something.

Fourth dimension.

Yeah.

That's heightened, I guess.

I'm into all that, though.

I'm into all those spirituality topics.

Same.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You dabble in like psychedelics and mind-altering substances.

Psychedelics, no.

I'm 14 years sober.

So sadly,

I can't.

Although I'm interested in like micro-dosing, that type of thing.

That interests me.

I just worry

that could it lead me back to that path of drug addiction which i don't want to go back to that you know yeah psychedelics i've definitely seen people abuse them exactly yeah so i have that addictive personality yeah it gets weird when they start taking them every day you know we all know a couple of those people in our lives On shrooms daily.

It's just Tuesday morning.

Morning, John.

The trees are just floating.

What are you doing?

Yeah.

They're just too positive.

It's annoying.

You know, when someone's too happy.

Yeah.

You know, every day.

Just want to smack them across the face.

Like, it just feels not real to me.

Yeah.

I micro-dose, though.

Are you micro-dosing now?

Not right now,

but once a week.

What's your experience with that?

Have you taken Adderall when you were back in the day?

A few times

and like I snorted it.

Snorted it?

Yeah.

Why?

I don't know.

I was in high school and my friend's like, hey, do you want to take Adderall?

It's better if you snort it.

And I was like, yeah, yay.

And I did.

And this was in high school and it just like burned my nose.

It was terrible.

That sounds awful.

It was horrible.

Don't, hey, if you're watching, don't snort Adderall.

Definitely not.

Don't snort anything, to be honest.

If you were thinking about snorting something, I'm here to say don't.

Snorting things, bad.

Yeah.

I feel like I just cured addiction there.

You might have really hit with someone right there.

Yo, I feel like that video.

If you clip that, that's going to change people's lives.

That's some Andrew Tate influencer there.

That's a 10 million view clip right there.

Smart things?

No, don't.

Okay.

No, it's like adderal.

That's what micro-dosing is like?

But natural and no crash.

Oh.

Yeah.

So it allows you to focus.

You're locked in.

They say you're activating different parts of your brain.

I don't know the exact science, but but spirituality I'm super into.

I think it's innate.

I think it's within all of us.

And when we deny ourselves of a spiritual practice of believing in some sort of power greater than ourselves, we're fucking depressed and anxious and

probably

have some sort of mental disorder.

Oh, yeah.

Been there.

Been there for sure.

Right.

And then you found

God.

Found God.

I don't know what to call it.

But yeah, I believe believe in something, you know,

some higher power.

Same.

You got a daily spiritual practice?

Yeah.

Meditate.

Yes.

Nice.

Yeah.

I don't have any attention span for it.

I have ADHD.

Same.

You can still meditate?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

How long?

It depends.

I have this.

This feels like a cheat code, but I have this Himalayan sea salt cave right near my house.

Whoa.

Yo, and you walk in, and it's a cave just made of Himalayan sea salt.

It's on the ceilings, the walls, the floors, and you lay in these zero gravity chairs and you just do this guided meditation in a sea salt cave.

And so I'll just hop in there, do 45 minutes.

Now, that they make it easy for you to stay because it's such an experience.

Wow.

At home, sometimes it's just five minutes.

And I'll just like literally go on YouTube and type in five-minute manifestation meditation or five-minute anti-anxiety meditation or five-minute mindfulness.

Or maybe I have 10 minutes that day, but it does help me to have guided.

And I don't do it every day.

I try.

The Buddhists say that

all it is to meditate is to be fully present right here, right now.

So if you're actually here with me right now, this is actually a form of meditation.

If you're cooking and chopping a tomato and fully focused on that tomato, that's a form of meditation.

It's just true presence.

Interesting.

Yoga is a moving meditation.

I don't know.

So there's different ways to meditate, I guess, is my point.

Okay.

So I guess I meditate daily, but I meant in the sense of just sitting still and darkness.

Going like, um.

I struggle with that.

Yeah, that's most people do.

But I might have to try that Himalayan seesaw place.

That sounds like a vibe.

I've always wanted to do...

Have you seen those darkness cave retreats?

No.

You haven't seen that?

Tell me about it.

So you're in a dark cave for three days, no light.

I hate it.

You don't think you do it?

No, it sounds terrible.

Wow.

I would try it.

Why?

I like challenging myself.

I guess it would be good for you to get off that screen.

Yeah, it's a dopamine detox, I call it.

Okay.

Yeah.

But why no light, though?

I don't know why, actually, to be honest.

But it just sounds sorry.

I also want to do

how do you pee-pee?

You could still pee.

How do you poo-poo?

You'd still shit.

Okay.

Right?

I guess you could.

We've all shit in the dark before.

How dark are we talking?

It's a cave.

It's pitch black.

You gotta make sure

you're seeing.

Can you use, um, what do you call those?

Those wipes?

Wet ones or whatever.

Yeah, you'd have to bring some of those, I think.

You know, shitting outside's never fun.

Sad that that's the first thing I think of.

You're like, it's this beautiful dark cave experience.

And I'm like, but how do you shit?

Yeah, that's your thought brows.

I also want to try the one where you can't talk.

Have you heard of that one?

Dude, I would fail so hard.

If you're ADHD, so would you.

You think so?

Because I'm an introvert.

Okay, maybe not.

I think I can do it.

I don't talk that much.

I do.

You do?

You're an extrovert?

Um

I think it like ebbs and flows.

Yeah, maybe.

I do like people.

I like like do you ever wake up in the morning, walk to a cafe and just talk to strangers?

Not really.

Okay.

So that's I like to do that.

Yeah, I won't I won't make the first move usually.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm all about talking to I just like listening to people, talking to people.

Interesting.

So do you.

I mean, you have a fucking podcast.

Yeah, I can toggle it.

Like on the podcast setting, I can turn it on a little bit more than usual.

But when I get home, I'm drained.

And so you've always been that way?

Massive introvert.

A lot of confidence issues growing up.

Identity issues.

So yeah, I was never really a talker.

Yeah.

It's just what it is.

But yeah, you can't talk for, I think, there's different programs.

There's one that's seven days.

I think there's one that's a month and there's one that's a year.

Have you done it or are you just...

No, I want to do it.

Yeah.

I would do the week one because a month is pretty crazy.

No, a week yeah but now you can't talk at all you can't talk and you live in a community so you have to accomplish tasks without talking

so it's all through eye contact

that's so cool yeah it's pretty nuts my son alfie would kill that yeah he would probably do really well actually yo he would thrive yeah i'm uh i'm gonna try it though you should i've been feeling a little comfortable lately i wanted to like challenge myself more yeah i feel that you know yeah it's easy to get just in this social media space just complacent, I think.

I know.

I know.

I agree.

Yeah, we get all these views and it's not real life, you know?

Yeah, when you do the same thing for so long, you know, it you stop pushing yourself and challenging yourself.

I find it hard.

Like, I'm struggling to finish my book.

I this is my third book, and I'm like,

My I remember with my first two, my first one, I was like,

just so lit up around it.

And then I wrote about all how I went from being a suicidal, drug-addicted psycho in like toxic relationships, depressed, all that shit, to getting out of that and building a life beyond my wildest dreams.

So it was an exciting book to write for me.

And then my second one was all about, you know, having babies.

I have two kids and getting married and what motherhood and marriage and all that.

And my third one is honestly the last three and a half years of my life, really, which is going through my separation, my divorce, and all the chaos and healing from that journey, which I'm still in.

And maybe that's why I'm struggling to finish it because I'm like, still in it.

Dude, I'm still fucking in it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

I've lived quite a crazy life so far.

Yeah.

Well, thanks for sharing it in books because you're probably, you know, helping people out and impacting people that you don't even know.

I hope so, you know.

Yeah.

Divorce is tough, man.

Like I said, my parents got divorced when I was 10, and it was rough.

Yeah, and 10 is a hard age because you're so used to the dynamic.

Whereas with my kids, they were one and three when we separated.

So they're so young that they just know, oh, daddy lives over there and mommy lives here.

Right.

And it's not to say that they don't have hard feelings.

I mean, my daughter was just, you know, crying to me yesterday saying she missed him, you know, like it

happens.

But they're so young that I feel like it probably

is more natural.

The yeah, yeah, I know what I'm trying to say.

Yeah, I know I remember can speak words.

No, it's a touchy subject, I get it.

Yeah, my mine was rough.

I think my dad dipped for like a year without talking to either of us when it first happened because he was so traumatized from the legal fees and the court and all the fighting.

It's a lot, it's pretty expensive, you know.

Oh, yeah, and then uh I think at first he like lost custody or something, but then they agreed on some some sort of 50-50 donation.

Oh, so it was 50-50?

I would go on weekends because I was still in school and he moved towns.

So I would see him on weekends.

And did you like going on the weekend?

I looked forward to it.

You did?

Yeah.

So you were close with your dad?

Growing up, I was closer with my dad than my mom.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like as a kid, you're going to gravitate towards one, right?

Totally.

Yes.

Where do your two kids lie in that?

Right now, probably

me because they live with me 100%

of the the time for now.

You know, it's all very public.

I mean, he,

we met, you know,

12 years ago and we were both sober.

We were both in recovery.

That was like a very important thing for me to be with someone who was not in like active addiction.

Now, I'm not talking about like, okay, you smoke the occasional joint or, you know, psychedelics here and there or like a glass of wine with dinner.

Like, I don't fucking care.

I'm not judging you.

But if, you know,

if you're at home in active addiction, that's going to to be really triggering for me and dangerous for me.

So whatever.

My point is we met at a party.

You know, I saw him.

My sister, I was like newly sober at the time.

My sister forced me to go out.

She's like, Laura, you need to leave your house because like I wasn't, you know.

She's like, just, just, you know, get out and come to this party.

And at the time, she would only hang out with British people.

Right.

That's random.

Yeah, they call it an anglophile.

That's what, yeah, it's called an anglophile when you're obsessed with British culture.

How would she find them in America?

She fucking just did, yo.

And she

like hung out with strictly British people.

And then it got so bad where she would call me sometimes to be like, Laura, do you want to get some tea?

Oh, God.

Yeah.

And I'm like, you're from Chicago.

What are you doing?

What's happening here, Colleen?

And so, but then it kind of softened.

Now she doesn't have the British accent, but that at that time she did.

And all her friends were Brits.

She found the Brits in L.A.

There's like a British

club of British people.

Okay, Okay, so I went to, it was like one of the producers of Radiohead because that was she was, she was in a relationship with that guy for like two years.

And so I went there with all these British musicians and artists and shit.

And I walk in and I'm all nervous.

And then I see this man like across the garden.

He's laughing with someone.

I remember liking his smile and he was holding a bottle of water.

And I was like, ooh.

So I went up to him and I was like, hey, like, where'd you get your water?

And it worked.

Yeah.

Wow.

What a pickup line.

He was like, Balden.

And I was like, where did you get your water?

I love water.

And I swear, I swear.

I go, I love water.

And I think it's really important to stay hydrated.

And then he was like, he looked at me.

He goes, obviously, you don't love water, but you would have brought some yourself.

Damn.

Yeah.

And then I was like, well, no, I do love water.

I just didn't think to bring it myself.

And then he was like, I'm just saying, if you really like, liked water, you would have brought your own, like I did.

And I was like, all right, whatever.

I'm going to go find some water.

So I walk away, go find the water, hang out with my sister a little bit.

And everyone's getting like progressively drunker and higher.

And I'm just like, oh, I don't feel comfortable around.

I want to go home.

So as I'm leaving, I see the water guy.

And I'm like, I guess I'll say goodbye to the water guy.

And I said, hey, I just want to let you know I'm leaving.

And he was like, why are you leaving?

And I said, because I'm the only sober person here.

And he goes, I'm sober.

And I go, sober, sober?

Because there's like,

you know, I'm driving home tonight sober.

And there's like, I'm a raging alcoholic.

If I have one drink, my life goes to shit sober.

And he goes, sober, sober.

And I was like, no way.

We're both sober.

And so we start talking about that and recovery.

And he's a musician and I'm a comedian and we're just back and forth.

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And he was like, Well, I just moved into town from London.

I would love to go to a meeting, a recovery meeting with you.

And I was like, I'm going to one tomorrow.

So we meet at this meeting and then we have like a three-hour lunch after.

And it was kind of the rest was history.

You know, we just started hanging out all the time.

Within six months, we were engaged.

Wow.

Within a year, We were married.

Yeah.

Whites?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's fast.

Yes, I know.

He was also 12 years older than me, which, you know, I mean, that's not too crazy, but it's not, but it is.

Wait, so how old were you when you met him?

I was 24.

He was 36.

Okay, 24, you're very young at that age.

You know, your brain's still developing.

My prefrontal cortex was not fully developed, but I'm not one of those like, I wasted 10 years of my life with him.

Like, no.

That's good.

Yeah.

You're not vengeful or.

No.

Absolutely.

No.

I don't regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

I really think I learned so much from that experience.

And there were so many fun years.

Like, we had an amazing time together being creative.

I love it.

Laughing, passionate, made two beautiful kids.

We would collaborate on all these awesome.

comedy sketches and songs and things and just had a great life.

And then it was fun, then fun with problems, and then it was just kind of problems.

And what happened is, and I can talk about this because it's all out there, and he talks about it, was that he relapsed.

And yeah, in 2021, I had our daughter.

And so, postpartum, new baby, you're not sleeping.

We had just bought a new house that was being renovated, that was stressing him out.

And our son was just diagnosed with severe autism.

We did not know that if he'd ever speak.

We, all that was available at that time

was,

and it sounds like it's not that long ago, but I swear to God, dude, if you look up like Autistic Kids, it was just the worst shit you could possibly imagine

online about it.

There was just no, yeah, like he's going to need 40 hours a week of intensive therapy or he's going to be spreading his shit all over the wall.

I'm sorry.

Like, no, it's called like fecal smearing.

It's like a thing that some kids do.

Whoa.

My kid never did that.

But like, I'm just saying in my mind, I'm like, oh no.

Like, it was just like very, there were not many uplifting stories or

I don't know.

It was just a scary time.

We didn't know much about it.

And I think that that maybe was all too much for him.

Plus, the pandemic was going on too.

Plus the pandemic.

It was all so much.

And yeah, so he started picking up.

I didn't realize he was using.

I just thought he had was different.

Oh, he hid it from you.

Hid it.

Wow.

Yeah.

And I I was like, okay, I didn't think he was using it.

I just thought he maybe fell out of love with me, you know, because there was such a distance and there was no,

I just didn't quite understand what was happening.

And then I was dealing with postpartum depression.

So it was just a very challenging time.

And

yeah.

And then he, it got really bad and dangerous and to the point where

I said, we need to separate.

And

I

you know can you live here thank God we had two properties we had one one house and then we bought another and the first house we were using as our studio

and I asked him to just stay there and he agreed and

yeah and that was that was three years ago that was um the end of 2022.

Jeez.

Yeah.

Were you trying to work it out from distance or was it just you're we're done?

No, I was open.

I was open to

trying to fix it but it just kind of kept getting worse and now i realize it was the drugs oh like i would be like

oh god just

i i sorry um

like the night i said he did some really scary abusive shit and i said you know i don't feel safe i I think it's best we separate for now.

And you, I want you to get help, you know?

and then the next morning the next morning i wake up and i get i'm getting all these texts and phone calls from friends and family are you okay oh my gosh are you okay laura and i'm like what like i haven't told my mom like what's going on and then i look on youtube and there's a video i separated from my wife

what

you filmed a video that night

and then i was like what the why did you do that like what this is all so fresh i'm so traumatized there's police like all this crazy shit was happening and for me it was such a sensitive thing we have a one and a three-year-old like i'm so traumatized and then now it's out there for millions of people to see and there was no you didn't talk to me about it

and he was like sorry and then like another thing happened and boom puts it out on the internet it was just non-stop every conversation we'd have he'd put it out there it was just horrible and it felt like betrayal after betrayal and that's why i think you know the drug addiction was the demise of our relationship absolutely sobriety brought us together addiction tore us apart

but also

addiction in general i do think social media played a part that you know you know it's real and that addiction to you know posting and the views and the monetization and the likes and the comments and the uh it gives you a hit 100 and i think i did experience i have experienced that i'm not gonna lie like i have, I think he did to a another

level of like, I'm willing to post the cra it was like the Logan Paul suicide for us.

Yeah.

You know, like you're just,

you see it and you go, that's horrible, but oh my God, this is going to blow up.

And he, right?

That's addiction, I think.

That's what happens to a lot of these live streamers.

Oh, tell me about that.

Well, they're live all day.

So they got to keep their audience.

Yeah, some of them are live for eight to 12 hours a day.

So they got to keep their audience entertained.

So in order to do that, they feel like they have to do crazier and crazier stuff.

And like you're starting to see some of them get arrested overseas.

There's this one guy named Vitaly.

He got arrested in the Philippines.

Like they're annoying locals, like trying to film content, making fun of them.

And then there was someone else arrested in like Asia.

Because certain countries don't play around, you know.

That's real.

Yeah, so they're just following that social media trap.

I've definitely been guilty of it too.

I think everyone that does content has been.

that's right same

yeah so i kind of like have some boundaries now i filmed my birth

30 million people saw me give birth you were live streaming it no i wasn't live streaming it was a vlog but

and i i think at the time

i

was obsessed with birth videos because i was pregnant and i wanted to learn as much as i could about the process and i was like how cool all these women are vlogging their birth so I get to see what an at-home water birth looks like and what an epidural hospital birth looks like, and what a natural hospital birth looks like, and what fucking birthing in the woods looks like.

Like, I get to see all of it.

This is awesome.

So, I was blown away by these, and I thought they were so cool.

And then I went back and forth, and I was like, I make content.

Like, why don't I vlog my birth?

I mean, it wasn't full frontal, okay?

Yeah, I was from the back.

I was careful with the angles.

Yeah.

But nonetheless, yeah, you know, yeah.

You did an home birth?

No, I was going to with my first son.

I had like bought the tub and everything.

Oh, there's a special tub.

Oh, yeah, there's a tub.

You can't do it in your bathtub or?

No.

Wow.

Big ass tub.

Okay.

What's special about it, I guess?

I guess it's just big.

I can't fit in tubs, so I can't relate.

I know.

You're you're a big guy.

So am I.

I'm six feet.

You're pretty tall, yeah.

Six feet for a woman.

Yeah, we were gonna do home, ca I don't have kids yet, but uh we're too far from the hospital, so

are you gonna no because apparently you have to be within five minutes from the hospital in case something goes wrong

well I'll tell you I I was this close and my then husband was like I don't know Laura I'm kind of nervous what if something goes wrong and I and you have a midwife if you have a home birth right not a traditional doctor but a midwife and they guide you through the birth and I was like don't worry I'm like everything's gonna be great I'm like let me pull up her Yelp reviews and just read them to you to to like assure you that this birth is going to go better than you could have imagined.

And he's like, all right, fine.

So I pull up the Yelp reviews and all of a sudden, boom, I see this new one-star review.

And I'm like, huh.

And then I start reading it.

And I'm like, oh, God.

And then he goes, what?

Read it.

And I was like, no, no, no, we don't need to read that.

And he goes, no, read it.

Sorry, I totally spit on you.

No, you're good.

I didn't even notice.

Oh, good.

I spit on him.

Damn.

I did not mean to spit on him.

On my arm?

Where was it?

It came out.

I think it got on your paper, maybe.

Oh, that's fine.

We good?

Yeah, we're good.

Keep that in there, please.

So

he's like, rate it.

And I was like, all right, fine.

And basically, it was the most disturbing story that the husband had written saying

our baby almost died because of this midwife.

We had been going to a traditional LBGYN as well.

and the traditional OBGYN said the baby was measuring big, large, so it's safest to have it at the hospital.

But the midwife assured us, nope, your baby is the perfect size.

You could totally do it at home.

You can do it.

And like convince them to do it at home.

Then apparently the baby got stuck in the birth canal.

She couldn't figure out how to get it out.

It was then

finally they pulled the baby out and the baby was like purple and blue and not breathing.

The mom was hemorrhaging, just blood everywhere, all over.

So the mom almost died.

The baby had to be airlifted to the local hospital.

Holy crap.

Yeah.

And it was so crazy, dude, because I was this close to using her to

give birth to Alfie.

Guess what?

I also had a traditional OBGYN who was like, you know what, Laura?

Your baby's measuring big.

I think it's safest that you go to the hospital.

And this fucking midwife goes, no, Laura, your baby's perfect size.

Have it at home.

And then, dude, I'm getting chills just thinking about it then I read the one-star review that's the exact same story that we had except they listened to the midwife and the baby and the

mom almost died that's that could have been you easily literally holy crap so right away I was like we're going to the hospital like and I was so like thank God that I just pulled up that yelp that day.

Yeah, imagine if you didn't.

No, because before, and you know what's crazy?

He goes, I've had to write this three times because she keeps deleting it.

Yeah, you can't remove negative reviews.

And he goes, I'm gonna keep writing it every time she deletes it because I need people to know.

Because every other review was good.

Yeah, so I wouldn't have known.

Wow, we gotta find that guy and thank him.

Yo, whatever his username on Yelp is.

Bring him on.

Can you message people on Yelp?

That'd be pretty cool, right?

Oh my gosh.

The bond over bad reviews.

Have you ever left the one-star review anywhere?

No, I'm not like that.

Yeah, I don't.

I'm not a reviewer.

I do.

Even if I eat a bad meal, I just feel like it hurts them.

Like, I feel bad, even though the food sucked, you know?

Yeah,

I don't know.

I just don't.

Actually, I left one

in Woodland Hills.

No,

my apartment building.

My car got broken.

Okay, so I was in Woodland Hills during the pandemic.

My car got broken into.

Someone tried to hotwire it at my apartment building.

So I'm like, can I end my lease early?

I don't feel safe here.

They wouldn't let me end the lease early.

They wanted me to pay like a bunch of fines.

So I left it.

One star.

Left the one star review.

It actually got like 10,000 views.

So I hurt their apartment complex really badly.

And then they let me leave.

Your review went viral.

It went viral, Loki.

And they wouldn't give me the camera footage.

That was the part that was pissing me off.

Why?

There's a camera in the parking deck, and they wouldn't give it to me.

I wanted to see who robbed me.

It was my fault.

I was flexing on social media, but I still wanted to see who robbed me, you know?

That's crazy.

Yeah.

One star.

So that was the only time I've done it, but usually I'll leave a five star.

You do?

So you'll if you enjoy the pancake, you're gonna write about it?

No, they have to offer me something for free.

Oh, yeah, you gotta get a free pancake.

They gotta give me a free cupcake or something.

People out here giving you free shit.

Yeah, you get a lot of free shit.

Vegas, yeah.

Yeah, I always think that's so funny.

It's like you actually don't need the free shit.

And when you did need the free shit, you never got free shit.

Yeah.

Dude, I just went to the gas station.

She gave me a free fucking coffee because she follows me on Instagram.

No way.

I said, I don't need the free coffee.

I needed the free coffee before I popped off on Instagram.

That's when I could have used the free coffee.

It's pretty nuts.

Have you heard of this app called On the House?

What's that?

It's an influencer app.

You get

an influencer credit card.

Are you kidding me?

In every major city.

LA, Vegas.

No.

Guess how much my allowance is?

What?

$4,000 a week.

Wait, are you out of your mind?

Are you being for real?

For real?

For real.

On the House Network, they don't even pay me.

I'm going to show you the app.

Show you all the restaurants in LA.

What?

$4,000 a week.

Wait, shut up.

So I can spend that at restaurants, at spas, at hotels.

Can I do it?

Yeah, you just sign up.

Oh, wait, $10,000 this week.

My bud.

So $10,000 is my weekly allowance.

Yeah.

What do you have to do?

You just sign up.

I think it's invite only, but I'll invite you.

These are all the spots in Los Angeles.

You can scroll.

There's like spas, restaurants.

It's nice being an influencer, guys.

Social currency is a real thing.

Spas, hair,

crazy.

Dude.

Can I bring my friends?

Yeah, I bring my fiancé all the time.

No.

How did you meet your fiancé?

Wait, no, save it for mine.

I'll save it.

I'll save it.

I need to stop asking you questions.

I do that when I go on other shows as a guest.

Like, you can't stop.

I just want to ask you things.

How's the comedy stuff these days?

You on the road a lot?

No, I don't.

I don't do stand-up.

Oh, you don't do stand-up?

No, but I am.

Next year, in the fall, I'm going to have a live show.

I'm going to tour that live show all over the world.

I'm doing that.

So you're going straight to a tour.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Because usually you start like local first.

Well, here's what I'll do.

I'll start local.

I'll test out the show for maybe a few months, do like small theaters around the West Coast to like get it good for a few months, workshop it, and then just take it out.

Because it's like I have the audience.

I've got 25 million followers across all my platforms.

Yeah.

So I've got the audience.

I've been doing it.

I put in the 10,000 hours.

Like I've been doing it.

I've not done live, though.

So I could eat shit.

That's why I'll start local, like just to test it out.

And then my book is coming out

the fall of 2026.

So I want to do like a live book tour with a live show.

It doesn't need to be like traditional stand-up.

I could do whatever I want out there, you know?

Yeah.

So that's cool.

There's been a lot of comedians that start lately off social media, right?

And then transition to the live.

Yeah.

Like Trevor Wallace is one that comes to mind for me.

Trevor, I love Trevor.

Trevor and I have done a few sketches together.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I did one called Dating a Younger Guy, and he just played, like, he's actually not, he's like in his 30s, but he

could appear

in his nature to be like that of a mid-20s.

I thought he was in his 20s.

Yeah.

He acts like he is.

Yeah, exactly.

No, Trevor, we love you.

I think he's fucking hilarious.

He makes me laugh.

He's so funny.

His dating videos are hilarious.

I love Choco.

Him and, you know, Zach Justice?

Probably if I saw him, I would know him if I saw him.

He does those viral dating videos where like girls will date him.

What a living.

Just to get paid to go on dates.

Shut up.

Yeah.

So like 20 girls audition to date him.

He films it, gets a million views.

Oh, my God.

And he's just going to pick up lines and quirky.

And that's a million-dollar career these days.

And that's your job.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

I've seen people make all sorts of money in weird ways.

And I don't judge.

Like selling feet pics and shit.

Feet pics.

Yeah, I've had on a lot of OF girls on the show.

And oh my god, the money is crazy.

Let's talk about that.

I filmed a sketch with Bella.

Bella Thorne.

She's top like 10, right?

She makes a million dollars a month.

Holy crap.

Yeah.

That's nuts.

Yeah, she was really nice.

I filmed, it was just a comedy sketch, King Batch.

Remember King Batch?

I know King Batch, yeah.

He called me to be in it.

It was just like a fun day of the short film thing.

And yeah, she a million dollars a month.

It was wild.

How tempted were you after the divorce to sign up for OnlyFans?

I know.

It's so funny.

I like, I, you know, I'm sure there's like a MILF category.

There it is.

It's a big one, too.

Is it?

Yeah, it's the second biggest, I think.

Really?

Yeah, I've had some MILFs on the show.

Well, it's kind of wild because I get hit on by a lot.

Like I'm 39.

I get hit on by a lot of 20-something guys.

Really?

It's really strange.

And I think I'm kind of like, what do you want from me?

You know, and then I think, like, maybe mommy issues or something.

Like, they say guys are attracted to their people that are like their mother.

Yeah.

So that's why I'm like, oh, it could be that.

Like, you know, girls have daddy issues and probably have mommy issues.

And they want that.

I don't know.

I don't quite know.

It's some conscious thing.

I think we're attracted to the trauma that we grew up in, right?

Because that's what we're used to.

I mean, I definitely have daddy issues.

Big time.

Ooh.

But OnlyFans, no.

No, no.

What if it wasn't nude?

Like, what would it be?

Bikini picks.

I think that's what Bella does.

I don't know that she does.

Yeah, I think a lot of the celebrities don't do like full-on nude.

You know?

Oh, God.

I mean, I know, I don't think I would.

I think because I have kids too.

Yeah.

Then I look at someone like old school, like Pamela Anderson, and I'm like, she's an amazing mom.

Like, I think her sons and her have a great relationship.

And she wasn't doing porn, but she was doing the, I would say, the equivalent of like the bikini OnlyFans, right?

Yeah, yeah.

She was a sex symbol.

I try not to judge it, but no, I don't think I like being a clone.

I don't, I also don't need to be that stupid rich, you know?

You're comfortable where you're.

Yeah.

I,

you know,

I think my best year, I made, you know, near almost 4 million a year.

Yeah.

And then it fluctuates, but I don't need more than that.

I just need, I've got my dream house, you know, my kids are loved well taken care of.

I do what I love for a living.

I, dude, after the separation, though, I started to struggle because, yeah, because funny as money, I was making, dude,

I would write, because I have 14 million followers on Facebook, right?

I was one of the first, people making content on video content on Facebook, which is why I blew up.

They weren't even monetizing the platform when I was making sketches on there.

My manager goes, What are you doing?

He goes, get on YouTube.

You're not even monetizing.

I go, Yeah, but when they do, I'm going to be rolling in it because I'll be one of the top.

And that came true.

They started monetizing.

I was one of the top.

So I would write a sketch in an hour, film it in three, edit it in two, post it the next day.

Sometimes I'd make $250,000 on one sketch, one

gun comedy sketch, okay?

Because that sketch would get 200 million views.

That's insane.

Because I was one of the top, and it would just be dumb shit that I thought was funny, you know, that was maybe topical or like it was Valentine's Day coming up and I was like, oh, I had a new baby and I was like trying to get it on with a baby or something like not that sounded really bad.

That sounded really bad.

That's not what I meant.

When you have a baby, right?

Because the baby is napping and you only have 30 minutes.

So you got to get ready and make it happen before the baby wakes up.

It was that, it was that.

And it was just the rush of like trying.

It was just that.

It was a three-minute dumb sketch, some physical comedy in there.

And like that literally made a quarter of a million dollars, you know?

So crazy.

That's nuts.

Yeah.

And it was so cool because I'm just doing what I love, being an idiot, being funny.

And

anyway, my point is I'm happy doing that.

Now the money's not like it used to be on Facebook, whatever, but you just keep going.

Yeah, I heard it transitioned to Snapchat.

Is that true?

Dude, and I'm not even, I'm on Snap or I have my team managing it for me.

I don't go on it ever.

But dude, I never,

I don't make money on Snap.

Well, you have to post like a hundred times a day, which is annoying.

No, I'd rather just not do that.

Even if it'd have to be stupid money to do that, because that's annoying at that point.

I think, like, Trevor told me he makes, is he going to care?

You can edit it if you want.

Trevor told me he has someone managing his Snapchat and he makes

decent.

Yeah, I've heard like, yeah, Dobrik and Bryce Hall will make like 100K or something.

Oh, wow.

See, that's really good.

Which isn't bad.

That's really good.

I guess it's worth it at that point.

I guess so.

Yeah.

Posting 100 times a day for 100k a month.

I would, I would probably do that.

Would you ever do OnlyFans?

Hell no.

And why not?

Guys don't make as much, first of all.

Second of all, sex is really like sacred to me.

I've only slept with one woman my whole life.

So like, I don't want to share that with anyone, you know.

I love that.

I feel the same way, and I feel so weird because we're in this hookup culture, and

people are just, I'm blown away by how over-sexualized everything is, and it makes me really sad, actually.

And even when I'm walking down the street, a guy will say, What do you do?

And I say, Oh, I make content, and then they give me this look, and I go, No, like comedy.

Like, I make silly content.

I have to, I have to explain because they just assume I'm making porn.

That is how normalized it is.

Wow.

If you say, as a woman, I'm a content creator, a lot of people, I see it.

They go to like, hmm.

Because of the OF culture.

Because of the OF culture.

And it's really sad for these young girls.

I feel really sad for them.

There's some crazy stats, depending on the city you live in.

I know Miami's like one in 12 girls.

Yo.

That do it crazy, right?

Of the girls you've interviewed,

do they has anyone said how it's negatively affected or are they all just like, my life is amazing.

I'm so rich.

I'm empowered.

I wouldn't date a guy for free type shit.

Like, it's definitely glorified for the most part.

Some of them will have weird fan encounter stories, but for the most part, it's about making money and they don't really talk about the negatives.

I also just think money, it does not fill the hole in the soul.

Like,

right?

As someone who grew, I grew up with working class.

I wasn't poor.

We had a roof over our heads and food to eat, right?

But that was it.

And so I was happy because I was loved.

You know, like that's it.

And just

so

I don't know.

Yeah, you get to a certain cap, I think.

Like once you make X amount of dollars, it's different for everyone where your happiness levels doesn't really change have you seen that documentary happy no you would love it they basically study happiness okay what makes someone happy for so long they've been studying depression anxiety but it's called happy i love that you write everything down i do um my adhd we'll forget that i love that yes same

um and so there were a few different ways i was like doing uh

living in your purpose, like having a purpose, having direction, right, in your life.

That's a huge component.

Community was another big component in what makes someone truly happy.

We're social primates.

We're not meant to be alone.

We're not meant to be isolated.

We're meant to have people around us in whatever capacity, even introverts.

You're meant to have whatever, your loved one, your family, a sense of community.

And then they also said, and this, oh, service was a big one.

And that's something I learned in recovery,

that selfishness and self-seeking are the root root of our problems.

Wow.

Yes.

And when we shift our perception from

what can I give rather than what can I get, everything opens up.

I love it.

And ironically, the more you give, the more you get.

So that was another key to my success was I stopped going, what can I get?

What can I get?

What can I get?

And what can I give?

How can I like spread joy today, make someone laugh today, or make someone think today?

Became a service mindset.

And then because I viewed my work that way, I started getting things.

It was crazy.

Whereas when I focus on what can I get, it was often like the addict shit.

It was never enough or whatever.

But

in this documentary, one of the most interesting parts for me was they said, if you go from homeless to having food and shelter, your happiness level raises significantly.

If you go from homeless to having your basic needs met, but then after your basic I'm sure you know this after your basic needs are met if you go from that to

500 or a million dollars a year your happiness level does not raise significantly no uh no very very little wow very little and then I heard recently of something like if you can hit 200 or 250,000 a year I would say that that's subjective on like where you live too and the cost of living but that that's like the cat like any more than that you won't your happiness level won't raise wow like that's all you need that's all

yeah that's what i heard from you know who told me that cody sanchez who's pretty reputable yeah who i heard you had i saw that you had yeah she's awesome yeah she told me that so she was like just get that 250 a year and you're good but like even what i found so fascinating is once you have your basic needs met what if you make a bunch more your happiness level does not rise so or at least not significantly so if that's all we're after at the end of the day to be happy and feel like fulfilled and content in our lives then why are we chasing chasing this thing that doesn't actually work?

Yeah, I don't know.

It's a very fascinating conversation because it also depends where you live, like you said.

Yeah, because there's people in tribes in Africa that are happier than us right now, which is crazy.

They make no money, they don't know how to speak, I guess, or they speak a different language.

But they have food, they have community, they have shelter.

Yeah, right?

Kind of shelter, I guess.

Yeah,

yeah.

But once you got a certain size house, like, is a bigger one going to make you happier?

Probably not.

My water bill is fucked.

Dude, my electricity was 3,000 last month oh i can't because my ac broke i can't oh no and i'm in vegas

yeah look at us complaining such a first world problem i know it's really hard you guys it was really hot

um

that's about it i know you launched a book club anything else you want to close off with here that was really fun yeah thank you for having me um yeah i have a book club every month because my adhds will not read unless i have like a deadline and so I want to read a new book a month.

So I started a book club, you know?

And so that's on my Patreon.

You can go to patreon.com/slash Laura Clary.

And then it just has like, I go live.

That's the only place I go live.

And all my podcasts, Switches, they all go on there first.

So, but yeah, you can just find me at Laura Clary everywhere.

Cool.

Check her out, guys.

Check out her pod.

And maybe you'll see her in person one of these days.

Don't come and maybe you will.

Cool.

Peace.

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Thank you guys for supporting, and here's the episode.