Coach Greg Adams: Why 80% of Men Are Invisible to Women | DSH #1579

Speaker 1 Trying to survive social media as I age and the algorithm changes, just survive.

Speaker 2 Not a lot of people can survive demonetization, so well done. Demonetize you, you people give up, you know? Yeah, they do.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think that's the point they want to discourage you from making content. Just give it up.
They don't want to ban you.

Speaker 1 I don't think they have a reason to, but I just think they're trying to discourage you.

Speaker 2 Seems like everyone in the Red Poll space got hit with that, right?

Speaker 1 Pretty much the big names. Dude, there's some people that are still not demonetized, but I don't think they're making money.

Speaker 2 You were the first, though, right? You were first.

Speaker 1 I was one of the first ones of the main people. I was before Tate, before Pearl, before Fresh and Fit.
I was the one on the radar early after the adpocalypse.

Speaker 1 So I kind of came in after that, which was 2019. But then by 2021, I was the first one to get hit.

Speaker 2 All right, guys, Coach Greg Adams here. Let's go, baby.

Speaker 1 Let's do it.

Speaker 2 Let's get it, man.

Speaker 1 What's new with you? Man, you know, trying to survive, trying to survive social media. As I age and as

Speaker 1 the algorithm changes, just survive.

Speaker 2 Not a lot of people can survive demonetization. So well done.

Speaker 1 Thank you, man. It's been years.
I got demonetized. First channel, 2021, second channel, 2022.
And then the rest of them, you know, I tried to make more channels.

Speaker 1 And then they finally sent me a warning, stop making channels. So we're going to find you.
Yeah. That wipes a lot.

Speaker 2 It usually works for people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they don't demonetize you.

Speaker 2 People give up, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they do. I mean, I think that's the point.
They want to discourage you from making content. They're like, just give it up.
You know, they don't want to ban you.

Speaker 1 I don't think they have a reason to, but I just think they're trying to discourage you.

Speaker 2 It seems like everyone in the Red Pill space got hit with that, right?

Speaker 1 Pretty much the big names did.

Speaker 1 There's some people that are still not demonetized, but I don't think they're making money from it.

Speaker 2 You were the first, though, right?

Speaker 1 I was one of the first ones of the main people. I was before Tape, before Pearl, before Fresh and Fit.

Speaker 1 I was the one on the radar early after the adpocalypse. So I kind of came in after that, which was 2019.
But then by 2021, I was the first one to get hit.

Speaker 2 Do you think it's just a bunch of women or your haters just mass reporting you? Like, or do you think it was more planned out?

Speaker 1 I'm still trying to find the answers.

Speaker 1 It could be haters. It could be feminists.
It could be competition. It could be rival competitors within the space because the space was definitely bringing in.
At that time, it was rising.

Speaker 1 There was a lot of competition to be the prime voice. Kevin Samuels at the time was pretty popular.
So people saw that there was.

Speaker 1 possibilities to make money and it couldn't be competition from within because having figured it out.

Speaker 1 Could have been all of it at the same time.

Speaker 2 Were you beefing with anyone back then?

Speaker 1 I think people were beefing with me. I typically don't beef, you know, especially if they're, you know, I always say I didn't make my platform to argue with people

Speaker 1 about this particularly men to debate them. I didn't have a platform for that.
I just wanted to say my piece and keep it moving. So I didn't beef with anybody.

Speaker 2 Do you engage in debates?

Speaker 1 I don't do too many debates. I've been surprised with some debates.
You know, I've showed up to platforms and they had people there that were ready to debate me that had big names and recognition.

Speaker 1 I'm like, what are you doing here? You know, oh, okay. All right.
I guess we're debating today. Damn, who was it? Yeah.
One was Hafiz.

Speaker 1 So he had the show the roommates and I got invited to Saskast, Adam Saska with PBD Patrick Med David. And they invited me out.
I was already speaking in Florida.

Speaker 1 So I drove up to Fort Lauderdale. And Hafiz was there.
I'm like, what? So he was going in on me. I was like, I'm not prepared for this, but I did pretty well.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like debates aren't really valuable, most of them.

Speaker 1 No, they end up turning into what I call ad hominem attacks, right? Unless there's a good moderator.

Speaker 1 If there's not a good moderator, it's just going to be a back and forth, and then people will pick out little small things, and that'll go viral. You know, they're looking to get somebody

Speaker 1 smoked. Oh, he got the smoke.
So they're not pretty valuable to me. I don't engage in them.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because I'll watch Pierce Morgan, like he's crushing it, but most of them I feel like it's just a screaming match or it's just nonsense. Right.

Speaker 1 Especially if I think the connotator, Pierce Morgan or Nancy Grace, I'm like, they're there to kind of keep their platform going.

Speaker 1 So they're going to interject and not let you get your point out clearly. Right.
So I'm like, I don't have any interest in going in that.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll get some attention for a little bit, but it doesn't interest me much.

Speaker 2 What's your core messaging for people seeing you for the first time right now? What are you really trying to emphasize?

Speaker 1 All right. So for me, it's the free agent lifestyle.
So that's the name of my book. And really, I'm trying to get men information as much as they possibly can related to relationships and marriage.

Speaker 1 So, you know, I was married, divorced, and I went through the divorce industrial complex, went through the child custody and the child support.

Speaker 1 And oftentimes in relationships, women can come out to be the victim no matter what. It's kind of like you can't win.
It's a catch-22 for young men. But a lot of young men aren't prepared for this.

Speaker 1 They want a fantasy. They want, they think relationships are going to be fantasy and somewhat easy, and they don't have to change or improve.
And then, you know, things happen and they wonder why.

Speaker 1 Oftentimes, men don't talk to other men about it they may talk to their mother their sister the girlfriend's friend they don't seek counsel in other men and particularly the reason why is because they don't want to be seen as they fail they're weak

Speaker 1 so we bring the conversation and say hey as men these things are happening these things could happen or they will happen so you better be prepared for it right and now you after going through your divorce and seeing stuff you believe dating is transactional now 100 transactional i I mean, even all the way from the top.

Speaker 1 So we always say all men pay. So even if you're dating an S Court or a sugar baby, that's the transactional relationships that people associate with.

Speaker 1 But when you're in a regular relationship, which we call normal relationship, it's pretty transactional as well. And it simply boils down to the maintenance of the relationship.

Speaker 1 Initially, there might not be a fee. Like you're dealing with a sugar baby, it's going to be a fee, right? She's going to say X amount of dollars, you pay up.

Speaker 1 Where in a regular relationship, it may start off minimally, a date, a coffee, you know, a dinner, where some men have trouble with that. Well, initially, it might be a low cost.

Speaker 1 Then what will happen is there's not a direct per-play fee. However, there's maintenance.
Oh, let's go to, let's go to Cabo.

Speaker 1 Okay, how much is that going to cost between the both of you? Much of the expense is probably going to be the man handling the expense, getting a rental car.

Speaker 1 Okay, there's going to be things like, hey, my family's going to take a cruise how much is that going to happen you know what i mean then you talk about rent and expenses these things are going to add up significantly over time but is the relationship going to be maintained if you remove that if you said i'm no longer going to pay half for all of the rent do you keep the girl two years down the line

Speaker 1 Possibly not. She might say part of the deal was you're going to pay half for full part of the rent.

Speaker 1 So if you remove that one thing, the relationship pretty much is going to be torpedoed in short order. She might start to look for your replacement.

Speaker 1 In that case, that relationship, little did you know, was transactional. Wow.
So it was over the minute you said, I'm not going to start paying this.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to pay half of the air conditioning bill. You let two air conditioning bills run by in Las Vegas.
Guess what? She's like, wait, I'm not paying $300 a month by myself.

Speaker 1 And if you said, well, I can't pay it, pretty soon you're going to realize that

Speaker 1 she might stop sleeping with you

Speaker 1 she might stop engaging with you she might start looking for your replacement so at that point the relationship was predicated on the money that was a big part of why she selected you so that being said what do you think the optimal approach is when it comes to modern day dating well i would say don't plan on being with someone that long really yeah i mean you're gonna have a series of women Wow, so you're gonna have a series of relationships.

Speaker 1 Most people have a series of relationships. Just take, for instance, Jeff Bezos.
Jeff Bezos just married a woman who had five top-tier men as relationships.

Speaker 1 So that woman was shared by five different men, and the richest man in the world had to take that woman and wife her.

Speaker 1 So we have a phrase,

Speaker 1 she's not yours, she's ours. The why is silent.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we're kind of going to be, you're going to have her for a little bit. The next man is going to have her for a little bit.
The next man is going to have her for a little bit. We call this.

Speaker 1 in our simple terms, monogamy. This is monogamy to some people, but it's not.
It's temporary sexual exclusivity.

Speaker 1 So we temporarily share people sexually over time and we patch this up as going through romantic relationships. Oh, we're just learning about each other.
And this one failed. Okay, I got a next one.

Speaker 1 And then the next one, and the next one, the next one. So most people, at best, particularly women, are going to have a series of men.

Speaker 1 A small percentage of men are going to have the majority of women. And then that larger group of men are just going to have what they can get.
All right. Every now and then.

Speaker 1 Sometimes it might not appear transactional. Sometimes she might say, you know, I really love you, but that's after a series of guys.

Speaker 1 Okay, she might fall down to you and you might get the opportunity to pick that up for a little bit. How long can you maintain that?

Speaker 1 Well, how many times have you heard of people having 50-year anniversaries? 40,

Speaker 1 30, not many, 20.

Speaker 1 Not many people make it past 12, 15, 7, 8. Then they go to the next person, then the next person.
So that's pretty much what I would anticipate modern relationships to be

Speaker 1 and the more we do the idea of women getting married late and men getting married late that means they're coming in with a series of past relationships by the time they get to 30.

Speaker 1 then the average time that they spend married could be seven to eight years so that means 38 they're getting divorced then they're going to find another person or go back and have a series of relationships and possibly get remarried again that's that's the future right so are you upfront with the new woman you meet you're like yo this will only last a little bit like what do you say to them, I guess?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I guess the basis message for me is to say that I wouldn't tell them that I don't anticipate it lasting long, but I don't go in full with both feet and say, you know what?

Speaker 1 You could be my final person that I ever date. All right.
You could be the final woman that I ever sleep with. I'm not anticipating that.
I don't think it's going to be the case.

Speaker 1 And I'm not an easy person to date.

Speaker 1 I won't, I don't think they're going to last very long because I have a lot of things that I want to make sure that if I do commit to this person, that these things are in order before I commit.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to do a lot of vetting and I won't be,

Speaker 1 I won't hide the vetting that I'm doing. I'm going to be pretty aggressive with my vetting to the point where a lot of women will run.
All right. They're like, what? You want to look at what?

Speaker 1 No, no, no. We're not going to do all of that.
You don't need to know all of that. That was in my past.
But as we say, men invest in a woman's past, right? That's what we're investing in.

Speaker 1 We want to know what potential dangers did I have to protect myself from and her.

Speaker 1 For the men, the women are investing in our future. So they want to start from day one.
I met you on day one. When I met you, that's our future.
All right.

Speaker 1 And then everything else before that is what she's there for. She don't care about the past.
She don't care. You could be a criminal.
All right. She don't care.

Speaker 1 She wants to know from you if it's beneficial for her to be with you from that day forward. Men work from that day past.

Speaker 1 Right. That's going to tell us what's going to, the future is going to look like.

Speaker 2 A woman's past matters a lot, right? It does.

Speaker 1 And the fact that they don't want it to matter is a red flag.

Speaker 2 That's concerning to me. It's a red flag.

Speaker 1 Cause once you, listen, I'm going to tell you, I do a lot of vetting with women. I go through,

Speaker 1 I do a deep dive if they allow me to, which is very rare, right?

Speaker 1 Which is very rare.

Speaker 1 And when they do, they do find that it's going to be very intensive. So I do look at their cash app.
I do look at their Ubers. All right.
I'll go and look at their Uber. I'll look at their Instagram.

Speaker 1 I want to see where they stop, where they go eat. All right.
I might look at their Uber Eats. I might look at their Bluetooth.
All right. So let me see what that Bluetooth looks like.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Look at all these Maseratis and

Speaker 1 look at all these Lamborghinis and Porsche's. Look at all these places that you have attachments to these Bluetooths.
All right. So you're going to see addresses.
You're going to see her behavior.

Speaker 1 You're going to see how she moves.

Speaker 1 She might say, oh, I'm a homebody. Let me see what that Uber looks like.
Oh, don't look like you're at home. I see Caesar's Palace.
All right. I see Mandalay Bay.
I see Bellagio. All right.
right.

Speaker 1 I've seen these stops.

Speaker 1 What are you doing there? I see this bar. I see those little, you know, places where you go play video poker.
Don't look like you're at home.

Speaker 1 And I also required them to share their location so I can see how they move during the week because I'm not going to be with them. But I do want to see where they at 1 a.m.

Speaker 1 If they're going to make a stop at 7-Eleven

Speaker 1 or they're going to go to the nightclub, if they're going to Dre's. So I'm going to see that at least or attempt to.

Speaker 1 And of course, there's messages and, you know, you got to do a deep dive. Very few few women want me to do that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because it's going to give up the ghost.

Speaker 1 I'm going to see past lovers. I'm going to see people they were in situationships.
I'm going to see all kinds of things that I'm going to question.

Speaker 1 And I'm saying, if it, if it is you that want to be in a relationship with me, which is normally the case, they're the ones kind of pushing it because that gives them a chance to be kind of safe from the streets, right?

Speaker 1 They can get a break from the carousel. They don't have to, you know what I mean? They are out here going from date to date to date to date.
So they get tired. They get dating fatigue.

Speaker 1 At that particular point, now I can say, okay, I'm going to be a rest haven for you. Am I a pit stop or is this real?

Speaker 1 This is going to show me if it's real.

Speaker 2 Do you allow them to go through your phone?

Speaker 1 Absolutely not. All right.
So yeah, that don't matter to me. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, you know, no, so for me, I often talked about, you know, who, what's considered monogamy, who's going to be faithful and that type of thing. I don't ensure monogamy on my side.

Speaker 1 Now, this is problematic. And for them, I say, listen, if you you don't accept that, that's completely fine.
All right. I'm not there for that.

Speaker 1 So if that's what you want, that's what you would have to ensure me. Down the line, she may provide enough for me to not want to go seek this out.

Speaker 1 But I'm also not just dating around just to date around, but I also travel a lot. So I do have needs.
And if she's not there to facilitate that, maybe she has a career.

Speaker 1 Maybe she works 60 hours a week. Maybe she just isn't in the mood.
Well, in those cases, I can't be with a person like that. I've been married before, trust me.

Speaker 1 I would never put my sexual gratification in the hands of one woman.

Speaker 1 Never.

Speaker 2 I have heard that men are biologically made to reproduce, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, you can talk about that, but we also seek sex for pleasure almost exclusively.

Speaker 1 Sometimes it's for procreation, but for men, it's almost 100% pleasure. For women, it's not.
There's a variety of reasons why they have sex. Really? Yeah.
They can have it for pleasure.

Speaker 1 They can have it to secure a man. They can have it also to apologize.
All right. Like they can have sex to apologize.
They can have sex where they say, oh, I pity this guy. All right.

Speaker 1 Or they can have sex to reproduce. There's a variety of reasons to do that.

Speaker 1 They can have sex to basically work their way up to a relationship. There's a lot of reasons why they have it.
Men have it specifically for pleasure.

Speaker 1 Like, we're just trying to get pleasure and that's it. It's not a loving thing.
A woman can say, hey, I want to draw this man closer to me. I want a relationship from this guy.
Right.

Speaker 1 So she will probably use sex.

Speaker 1 I always say they can use it as an apology because they typically never really truly apologize. However, they may say, hey, I'll make myself available to you tonight.

Speaker 2 And a lot of guys fall for that.

Speaker 1 And they're going to fall for that. And they lose leverage because what they'll do is they don't realize it's an apology.

Speaker 1 And so they will go through the act and then the woman will be like, hey, we're all fair now, right? Everything's okay now. And you're like, no, I want to still talk about what happened yesterday.

Speaker 1 She's like, why? We were just intimate together.

Speaker 1 We're over that.

Speaker 1 We've moved past let's move forward so they will use it as an away a means to apologize and move forward yep and i know we're talking down on women but i think men need to take some accountability too of course when it comes to sex yeah they can't control their sexual urges they can't there there's no discipline around it which which is number one is a problem and number two their problem with it is um related to how they murd muddy up the relationship marketplace right so there's a lot of guys that use sex to take advantage of women right they use it they're not true and faithful faithful to the woman.

Speaker 1 They're not, they'll lie to them. They'll lie to them, manipulate.
And I don't like that at all. I'm like, be up front.

Speaker 1 But what they'll do is they'll muddy up the water of available women that could be good and they'll take advantage of them,

Speaker 1 which makes it then she's going to put up a wall to for the next guys. It's going to make it difficult for the next guys.
She's going to not trust. She's going to be screwed over.

Speaker 1 And then at that point,

Speaker 1 these guys have made the marketplace a little bit harder.

Speaker 2 Harder. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I've seen you talk about this 80% 80 of women want 20 of men right and a lot of those 20 of guys are like rich successful guys and they're just seeing it as sex right exactly they don't actually love most of these girls at all now the problem with it is what do you what are they supposed to do turn it down right so i mean here's the woman making herself available now what'll happen is they don't know why she's truly there is she truly there for love is she just there for the recreational part of it most of the time the woman's trying to get something in addition from the intimacy right she may be want to be a girlfriend a wife a regular She may want to get paid.

Speaker 1 She might want something from it, whereas she might hide those intentions. The guy never takes time to find it out.
And then they go ahead and do what it is. It's easy.

Speaker 1 And then after the fact, there's called, there's an after payment where she may become a stage five clinger. She might say she was sexually assaulted, right?

Speaker 1 There's some things that follow that that the guy's normally not prepared for. She might say she was drunk and not conscious enough to consent.
There's some things that can happen.

Speaker 1 She may say, oh, I didn't didn't know you were married and call your wife, right? So there's a lot of things that happen as a result that he didn't take the time to figure out.

Speaker 1 So yes, 80% of men are invisible to women. However, they make themselves available easier to the top 20% of men.
However, there's still problems. Look at Diddy.

Speaker 1 Look at, there's a guy who just got convicted of, we call it grape. He was a former NBA player.

Speaker 1 So, and he had a girl at a house party. She was laying there.
They became intimate. And she said, oh, I was too drunk to consent.
Now he's going to prison. Wow.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, the 20% of men are having majority of women, but there's still problems with it if people don't communicate their intentions. Yep.

Speaker 2 Look what happened to Shannon Sharp. Shannon Sharp.

Speaker 2 He was about to sell his pod for $100 million.

Speaker 1 So $100 million. As I say, all men pay.
He didn't pay her directly, but how much did he lose? How much did it cost him?

Speaker 1 Just for him to have that type of relationship with that woman, which was majority consensual, according to her, except for one time. Crazy.
How much that, so you got $100 million for one sexual act.

Speaker 2 Nuts. You ever worry about someone from 20 years ago coming after you?

Speaker 1 I always say, you never know who you're going to be in 10 years. Also, I always tell young men, you never know who you're going to be in 10 years.
So when you're 22,

Speaker 1 you're like, oh, I don't have anything to lose. But say you become a politician.
Say you become famous. You're a YouTuber, a streamer.

Speaker 1 And somebody from 10 years, that woman's sitting there, she's broke, and she's seeing you running around here with a Lamborghini and you got a big stream with 30,000 people in it.

Speaker 1 She's gonna be like, Yeah, that time that you slapped me, that time that you choked me, that time that you, and now it's a he said, she said.

Speaker 1 So, I always tell guys, Yeah, it seems like it's free now, but you never know who you're going to be in 10 years.

Speaker 2 Part of me is grateful because I used to get made fun of a lot. I didn't pull girls when I was younger, right?

Speaker 2 I've only slept with one girl my whole life, but now that I'm older, I'm like, Wow, that could be a blessing. Because as I get more famous, there's really no one that could really come after me now.

Speaker 2 True, you know, yeah, so it's like a catch-22, I guess.

Speaker 1 We tell people it might not be too bad that you're ugly and short and, you know, awkward and lame and goofy, you know, depending, because seeing how things working out now, there's a lot of guys paying for things that they did 10, 15 years ago,

Speaker 1 which was a party back then. Oh, it was super easy and everybody laughed it off.
But now it's like, oh, well, maybe that wasn't such a good thing.

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Speaker 2 Certain words you could say back then, certain things you could do, you can't do now, you get canceled. Time just changes.

Speaker 1 And I guess for younger people, they don't really realize it.

Speaker 2 No, they don't.

Speaker 1 they're just yeah like we said earlier they can't control themselves when you're young you know you're just super horny i guess yeah that's the thing that's the that's the beautiful thing about getting older all right that goes down a little bit right the big head starts thinking out thinking the little head but when you're young you know you'll stay up in the middle of the night you'll do all kind of goofy things to be able to get it and uh that's where you make a mistake 100 yeah 100

Speaker 2 um what else we got so monogamy in general like you said earlier you don't think you could be with someone long-term do you think that applies to everyone?

Speaker 1 No, some people probably would practice monogamy for a variety of reasons, which are all beneficial to that person. And there's a lot of benefits to it.

Speaker 1 Like, for instance, somebody could be religious or a culture. Somebody could have a moral reason why they would practice it.
Like, for instance,

Speaker 1 you would be monogamous to your girlfriend in exchange for her being monogamous with you. That's an exchange.
So you don't want to screw her over because you don't want her to screw you over.

Speaker 1 It's not because you believe that you are monogamous. It's just the fact that you don't want your girlfriend to cheat and you're trying to exhibit that by your behavior.

Speaker 1 You're exercising discipline to make sure she knows that you're loyal and faithful to her. So it's an exchange.
It's not that you're programmed for it.

Speaker 1 You might have the urges, you might have thoughts, or an opportunity may come up that might challenge it. But there's a reason for that.
It's also sexual health, right?

Speaker 1 Like who wants to be catching STDs and STIs out here?

Speaker 2 Hell no.

Speaker 1 Right. Nobody wants that.
So the more you do it, the more partners you have, the more you increase the chance. That's going to make people want to be monogamous.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't want to catch nothing out here, or I don't want to catch a case. So these are all great benefits to it.
Now, for me, like I said, for me, I've done it before.

Speaker 1 I've been married and with one woman, and we were supposed to be true to each other. But typically, you'll find that one or both partners aren't.

Speaker 1 Now, what do you have? Do you have a marriage? Do you have it? So

Speaker 1 it's a little bit tough for me to commit to it at this point.

Speaker 2 I saw, yeah, both my parents cheated so i i grew up with that environment see

Speaker 1 and uh once that starts it's it's over no yeah it's done i mean so i think you can maintain a marriage without monogamy i don't think you can maintain a marriage that was monogamous and then cheated

Speaker 1 okay so right so if you both start off and say we're both open or i'm open on my side and closing on this side it could work.

Speaker 1 That doesn't mean jealousy is not going to be there. There's jealousy in marriages that are monogamous.

Speaker 1 So there's always jealousy. However, I think once you have a marriage that started monogamous and then there was an affair or indiscretion, you can't recover from it.

Speaker 2 What do you think of Tate's strategy? So he'll have girls in different countries. It's much more cheaper.
There's no child laws or whatever, divorce laws. It seems pretty effective.

Speaker 1 I think that's a good idea.

Speaker 1 If you have the ability to afford it.

Speaker 1 Right. So it's a good idea because, you know, in the United States and the United Kingdom, the divorce laws are ridiculous.
right? It's pretty much set up for men to fail.

Speaker 1 And once the failure is there, nobody is there to help the guy. The guy is just going to be basically there to get stripped

Speaker 1 from a variety of people.

Speaker 1 Whereas if you're traveling and you go to places where those laws aren't there, as long as you're not taking advantage of the situation, particularly, let's just say you're having 15 kids in this country.

Speaker 1 I don't agree with that. But if you can go there and find something that works for you, that's more beneficial and you want to get married, go for it.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, he buys them all a house.
You know, he takes care of their expenses. It seems like they're pretty happy from what I've seen.

Speaker 1 And if they're happy with it, and that's a good arrangement. I think the arrangement was what I would call a payment up front, right? He's basically not writing a blank check.

Speaker 1 He knows what he's going to pay. You get a house, you get this child, we get the support, you get this particular amount of allowance.

Speaker 1 That's pay-for-play or payment, but a lot of people are not doing that. What they're doing is they're writing a blank check

Speaker 1 to one person particularly or two

Speaker 1 over their period of life.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they're putting all their eggs in one basket, right? One basket.

Speaker 1 Now, when them eggs get dropped, right, now we got a problem and nobody's going to come help you. And now there's a blank check.
You don't get to determine like Tate strategy.

Speaker 1 He determines what they get.

Speaker 2 Right. It's similar to Elon.

Speaker 1 Similar to Elon. Okay, you're going to have my baby.

Speaker 1 We're going to have a cohabitation agreement, NDA, non-you know, non-disclosure agreement, and you're going to get this much support or access to this fund. He gets to control that.

Speaker 1 Once it gets put into the government's hand or in the lawyer's hand, in America, you don't get to control that.

Speaker 1 They basically get to say, you're going to give this person this, and this is the results. You might lose your children in the process.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you make your girls sign NDAs too?

Speaker 1 I do. Yep.
So they got to sign an NDA. And also,

Speaker 1 they sign a cohabitation agreement, even though they won't live there.

Speaker 2 Oh, what is that?

Speaker 1 Cohabitation agreement pretty much says what would happen if you live with me and

Speaker 1 what your responsibilities are or what you have access to, what you own, what you don't own, what the behaviors are, what do I expect for you when you're living there.

Speaker 1 Now, they're not going to move in, but there are situations where the woman is living there. Staying at night.
They're staying at night in multiple days, right?

Speaker 1 They may stay tonight five days in a row.

Speaker 1 That's almost living there at that particular point, or she may stake a claim. Hey, I moved in.
I live there. I have a drawer or community.
I receive mail there.

Speaker 1 So in that case, we already have ironed out what that is. You can also do a prenatal or a co-parenting agreement, even though you don't have to, you don't intend to have children.

Speaker 1 Most people don't intend to have children, but stuff happens, right? So in that case, you can decide what you're going to do. We're going to co-parent.
You're going to have 50-50 custody.

Speaker 1 There's going to, you know, we're going to have equal parenting legalities related to legal custody. where you can iron that out before anything happens when you have leverage.

Speaker 1 Let's say she lives with you, you know, off and on in a month and you get, she says, oh, I'm pregnant. She's not signing a co, she's not signing a co-parent.
She has the leverage now.

Speaker 1 She could do what she wants. She can walk.
She can get up and move to the Philippines. She gone, right? She could just be like, that's it.
And you have no way to get her back.

Speaker 1 You have no way to get that. Now you got to go to the courts and say, she needs to be back here so I can get access to my kids.
Good luck.

Speaker 2 Damn.

Speaker 1 Good luck. So when I engage with someone seriously, they got to go through this paperwork.
This is another way to vet them. Because if they say, I don't want to sign this, okay, bye-bye.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
I see these athletes. I don't know how they keep falling for it.
Like Anthony Edwards, just baby mama stuff. It's like, you don't know by now to like get some documentation or something.

Speaker 1 Get some documentation. That would be the only thing I would suggest.
People say keep it in his pants or something like that. I'm like, he obviously has a behavior.
Because people see that.

Speaker 1 And I would get all of that documented before we even get to the point where we have to go to court. I would fight over that document.
before I would fight under the rules of the legal system. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think he paid her all up front. Did you see that?

Speaker 1 He attempted to pay her all up front.

Speaker 1 In many cases, you cannot, so they don't accept payment up front. Wow, right.
Why? Um, a variety of reasons.

Speaker 1 They're, they have Title IV D, which they're connected to the Social Security Administration of the federal government. They don't want this lump sum payment, they can't do anything with it.

Speaker 1 Um, they also kind of want you beholden to them and order to them monthly to pay them monthly so they can send you, I call it fan mail, or they can send you mail.

Speaker 1 This is your, this is what you owe to us, this is what you need to pay. They can constantly kind of harass you.
And then, if if you can't meet the obligation, well, then they could throw you in jail.

Speaker 1 They kind of could control you a little bit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The child support numbers with these athletes, it just blows my mind, dude.

Speaker 1 I don't know how in the world.

Speaker 1 I know they make a lot of money, but I don't know how you can say, I'm going to give this person $2 million for having my kid. A year.
A year. Yeah, like what? Like, this doesn't make sense.

Speaker 1 $10,000 a month. And they're going to make $15 million

Speaker 1 to take care of your kid, quote unquote, which they're not.

Speaker 2 They just did a study study on how long, how much it costs to raise a kid, and it was $400,000, zero to $18,000. So to get $2 million in one year doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 No, it doesn't add up. It doesn't add up at all.
Yeah. So why does it cost that much to raise a kid? It only costs that much to raise a kid for you because of who you are.

Speaker 1 I don't think that system is fair. I think it should be a cap.

Speaker 1 And that would probably change the behavior of the women. 100%.
Because they're not going to go after these guys anymore. All right.

Speaker 2 I'm advised to go out. I don't even blame the woman, honestly.
Why not?

Speaker 1 I mean, listen, listen, I mean, people hate it, they hate to see it, but what is she supposed to do? It's not illegal. I mean, why not? Right.
And so the guy's going to fall for it.

Speaker 1 He doesn't have the discipline, whatever. But I think there should be a cap that would change the behavior of the women.
They're going to say, I'm only going to get $3,000 a month.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm not going to make myself available to these guys. They're not going to be easy prey.
So they might do something else. They might find YouTubers next.
I have no idea.

Speaker 2 I mean, streamers are where the next money is at, man.

Speaker 1 So they're coming after you next. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Shit, dude. I'm good.
I got discipline. Right.
I could keep it in my pants. Right.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 2 I did want to talk about the male loneliness epidemic because I was there, man, in college. And now it's gotten even worse, I feel like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's a male.

Speaker 1 I think men need a little bit more of an idea of what they're going to get from women when they're young.

Speaker 1 And it's confusing because women have changed significantly since, you know, 20 years ago, the college girls.

Speaker 1 There were always college girls and girls going wild and this type of of thing but today women are able to monetize themselves they're able to have a reach internationally so it is making men feel like they don't have a chance for a certain amount of time

Speaker 1 but i'm gonna say before the 1950s it was like that men had to go to war men had to fight men had to kind of work and make their way sometimes they even had to have land they had to go through family uh there was a dowry or a bride price like there was things that the men had to do to qualify They may have to have a farm with sheep or it may be hand down.

Speaker 1 So men didn't always have it easy to get access to women.

Speaker 1 But there was a time period where it was, which was post-World War II, and it became like the women were like, oh, okay, you get a girl and you get a girl and you get a girl and you get to go to Sally to the prom and a sock hop, right?

Speaker 1 We fantasize, we idolize this time period. But that time period is long gone.
We haven't adjusted. So now there is an incentive where this is a thing that men have to kind of improve themselves.

Speaker 1 They have to compete. Where women are like, oh, I got access to, we have perceived access to a bunch of men.
And the men are like, well, you don't really have that access.

Speaker 1 You're still going to fall down to me. But when

Speaker 1 women in their 20s are told really not to settle down, they're told that they're too young to have children, despite the fact that they. they have an open fertility window.
So they could.

Speaker 1 They're told that they can freeze their eggs. So they pushed this timeline all the way down.
They've had fun. They can party.
They can travel. Hot girl summer.

Speaker 1 They can date multiple men. They could try to date up as much as they possibly can.
They could try to reach into their DMs for celebrities or they could just chill out.

Speaker 1 They could just stay in their room and stream on Twitch all day.

Speaker 1 They are not forced to make a move. They can make that move in late 20s, early 30s.
And even now, they're saying 40s,

Speaker 1 right? Where they're saying women can have children in their 40s. So they're pushing that way down the line in priority.
So where does that leave the young men?

Speaker 1 You have to compete in a marketplace where

Speaker 1 you're pretty much invisible to this group of women. So it's going to create a loneliness, but down the line, it's going to flip.
The true loneliness is going to be from the women.

Speaker 1 So much of the loneliness is propaganda, but there are men that want a relationship. They want a hug.
You know what I mean? They want a cuddle. They want intimacy.
They're not going to get it as easy.

Speaker 1 It's going to flip. Once the women turn mid-30s and 40s and 50s, majority of the women, majority of the women will be lonely, childless.

Speaker 1 They won't have family events to go to in their 40s and 50s and 60s. They're going to be alone as well.
So a reality is going to happen. I don't know where we're going to go with it.

Speaker 1 I don't think there's a chance to actually converge and meet it in the middle. I think women have stood their ground.

Speaker 1 The men are trying to find a way to either use shame or criticism to criticize their approach. But where do you go from here? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's going to be interesting to see how it plays out. I personally haven't met too many feminists I thought were happy.

Speaker 1 No, they typically aren't going to be. Yeah, because it gets difficult.
They become somewhat invisible, more invisible than they were. And this is a hard adjustment for them.

Speaker 1 So they may reach, they may lash out. They may

Speaker 1 become angry at men, or they may say, it was all men's fault for my life, the results of it. They may, you know, try to revert back to their 20s and get attention.

Speaker 1 You know, you see a lot of older women try to keep up with the sexy sex appeal, yep, and you know, they do the miracles of modern science, Botox, injections, and fillers, and filter.

Speaker 1 So, they'll do that as a means to say, hey, 45 is the new 25. They'll do a variety of things to keep themselves alive.
However, it's going to be that they're still going to remain single. Yep.

Speaker 2 How much of the dating issues in today's society do you blame on poor parenting?

Speaker 1 Good question, man. Good question.
Poor parenting. I've been critical of parenting, specifically from the millennials and the Gen X parent group, which I'm a Gen Xer.

Speaker 1 You know, the people in their 20s and,

Speaker 1 you know, their late teens are a result of millennial and Gen X parenting, where the parenting has become weaker.

Speaker 1 And these two generations are experiencing massive amounts of divorce or, you know, children out of marriage and wedlock.

Speaker 1 These parents have tried to be the friends of these children and not parents. They didn't want to tell their kids no.
They don't want to spank them on the hand. And as a result,

Speaker 1 their relationships didn't manifest and turn out well, high divorce rates. And then you look at them, the kids were somewhat isolated.
You got two parents working outside of the home typically.

Speaker 1 And now the kids have been left on their own. So if they had learning disabilities, they had to use the school, the public school, the public school indoctrination camp.
They had to use daycare.

Speaker 1 Daycare is basically going to be where your kid's going to fail. Yep.
Your kid's going to fail. If they start off on daycare and they went through daycare all the way to eighth grade, good luck.

Speaker 1 Kid's going to be a mess. And then when you have also the kid have access to too much time, which we say idle time is the devil's time, right? Idol hands are the devil's hands.

Speaker 1 So the kid's going to get in trouble. As a result, how possibly can they see what a good wife and a good husband could be? They don't have the demonstration of it.
So they're going to go to fantasy.

Speaker 1 They're going to watch Leave It the Beaver and I Love Lucy. And they're going to go watch rom-coms.
That's where the majority of us are getting our relationship advice from.

Speaker 1 Music, music videos, celebrities.

Speaker 1 You know, these are our examples of relationships, which are not good examples. It should come from the parents.
But

Speaker 1 I always often tell people, find five people,

Speaker 1 find five couples that have a relationship that you would want to mimic, that you wouldn't want to copy. Five couples that have been through the test, they have kids, husband, wife.
Find five couples.

Speaker 1 Most people can't do it.

Speaker 2 I can't think of five.

Speaker 1 Can't think of five. Five real couples, not your grandparents, not your parents.

Speaker 1 You got to disqualify your grandparents because they've already been through the hell and the storm before you were born. All right.

Speaker 1 So they kind of, your grandma didn't have any opportunities and leverage. Grandpa got kids in Vietnam and Korea, you know, so it was a different time.
You can't really go for your grandparents.

Speaker 1 That's what people will say. Oh, I want to love like my grandparents love.
Well, that's 60 years down the line. What did they do in their 20s and 30s? They had hell too.
Right.

Speaker 1 Can you name five couples and go out and say, I want a marriage like them? It's tough for people to do. I can't.
And I'm saying that's why, the reason why is that you idolize celebrity.

Speaker 1 You idolize movies and songs and music videos and

Speaker 2 Disney princess movies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Disney princess. You're not idolizing anything that real because when it's real, relationships are tough.

Speaker 1 And most people don't want to go through the toughness. So I never want to argue.
Hey, man, you're not ready for a relationship. Right, you're living with a person.

Speaker 1 I don't care if you're living with a wife, a sister, a mom, and you're an adult child. You're going to argue.
You're going to have disagreements. You're going to have disagreements.

Speaker 1 You're going to just be like, I want to be isolated. Don't talk to me.
Well, if your wife says, Hey, I get to talk to you whenever I want, guess what? You got now got a reality check coming.

Speaker 2 What do you think of that trend where uh you sleep in separate rooms from your

Speaker 1 love it? I think that we've been misled of how people sleep.

Speaker 1 I can't sleep with people in my bed. It's disruptive.
People snore. I snore.

Speaker 1 People shift around and move. It has been proven that people will disrupt your sleep, even if they're sitting there quiet.
Wow. Because you can't spread out.
You can't roll around.

Speaker 1 You're having to be considerate when you're in some realm, REM sleep. I like the idea of being able to separate if needed.
Okay. If needed and say, hey, there's a room over here.

Speaker 1 There's a room over here.

Speaker 1 In my marriage, we slept together probably the first two or three years, but then we started sleeping in separate rooms because I'm an early bird and she was a night owl. Right.

Speaker 1 So we're going to go to, am I going to force her to go to bed at 9.30? She don't want to go to bed at 9.30. She wants to sit up till 1 a.m.

Speaker 1 So if I'm forcing her to do that, I'm making her do something she don't want to do. Then how is she going to go to sleep?

Speaker 1 Or if I, she said, no, you got to go to sleep with me at midnight and stay up, that's not going to work either. So it is good.

Speaker 1 I just think that you have to have then trust that the the person is not going to do something when they're not in the bedroom. Right.
So as long as you have that, but that's almost tough too.

Speaker 2 Would you say you have trust issues with women?

Speaker 1 Absolutely. I don't think, I don't think any man should be able to trust a woman at all.
No, I mean. What if she's a virgin? Well, that's even worse.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, at some particular point, she might want to explore something.

Speaker 1 It might not be with you. Typically, if you ask a woman that was a virgin,

Speaker 1 the first person she ended up having sex with, is she with that person today?

Speaker 2 Probably not these days.

Speaker 1 Nope. She's not.
It was a quick hookup. It was an odd, you know, it wasn't a special rose petals and a heart-shaped bed in a special place, comfortable with somebody playing the harp.

Speaker 1 It probably was some dude that was a forgettable experience. It was probably not pleasurable.

Speaker 1 It probably was rushed. He probably pressured her into it a little bit.
It was a basketball player at her high school or at her college.

Speaker 1 She thought maybe there could be something there and there was nothing. Right.
So that's typically what happens there. But I think in the trust realm, I think we get trust wrong.

Speaker 1 What we want to do is trust a person initially, which is not good.

Speaker 1 You could trust a person that earns the trust, but it's not favorable for men to trust a woman initially because by nature, she's an untrustworthy individual, right? She's not going to do things.

Speaker 1 Like she needs protection.

Speaker 1 How do you trust a person that needs protection, right? You're there to protect her. She also needs guidance.
That's what she looks for. She needs masculinity.

Speaker 1 She needs you to tell her what to do and when not to do it.

Speaker 1 And if she says that, yeah, well, I don't want you to tell me what to do. That gives her the window to do something that is untrustworthy, right? I don't want you to monitor my Instagram.

Speaker 1 I don't want you to check my text messages. By that nature, she's not doing anything that is trustworthy.
She might say, I want privacy. Which is fine.
That's fair.

Speaker 1 In relationships, there should be some level of privacy. However, However, what I'm finding is that people are not being private.
They're hiding things. There's a difference.
They're hiding things.

Speaker 1 And so if they don't want you to check on that, well, then they're hiding it from you. By that nature, she's not trustworthy.
And men as well.

Speaker 1 I know people are going to talk about it, but I talk about relationships from the male point of view. But yeah, by nature, she's not a trustworthy individual.
Men are already labeled untrustworthy.

Speaker 1 So we're already kind of like, we don't trust them.

Speaker 1 Okay, so they're going to ask you where you're going. So they already know that they are not trying to trust us.
And they say they are, but they're watching you like a hawk.

Speaker 1 For women, they're like, oh, you should be able to trust her. She seems nice.
She thinks like she would never do that. She's a virgin.
She don't seem like she's in these streets.

Speaker 1 Well, okay, go ahead and relax and not pay attention. Yeah.
Okay. You don't find out quickly.

Speaker 2 I just find it's,

Speaker 2 I agree, but like you mentioned, the wall earlier, you don't want to have that up the whole time, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So if she earns the trust.

Speaker 1 And you'll be like, oh, she never would do anything. I've been watching her for a year, better part of two years and three years.
I see her behavior. She's open.
She shares with me.

Speaker 1 She doesn't seem like she's hiding anything. Then you could probably extend a lot more trust where you're not worried about it.
Right. Right.
You're not worried about it.

Speaker 1 It only takes 15 minutes to change all that.

Speaker 2 One bad decision, one bad decision.

Speaker 1 And we're human beings. I mean, we're.

Speaker 1 If you look at us just as an individual, sometimes people get offended because I talk about relationships and women the way we do, but I'm just talking about human behavior.

Speaker 1 I'm a, I call myself a,

Speaker 1 the chocolate of Confucius. I'm a psychologist.
I'm a sociologist. If you look at human behavior, we're pretty fallible creatures.

Speaker 1 Like we do dumb things, and it only takes a few minutes to do very dumb things, especially when we're emotional.

Speaker 1 So if we're angry, if we're vengeful, if we're jealous, we do the most ridiculous things that we're somewhat apologetic about it when we're caught.

Speaker 1 Only when we're caught. When we're not caught, we tend to hide it.
Let's see if we can keep that away from this person because I have hurt them. I've disgraced them.
I've done something against them.

Speaker 1 So then I'm going to hide this discretion.

Speaker 1 I didn't mean to do it or it wasn't my intention. We do this all the time, every day.
We do this with our bosses, our managers, our employees. We do this all the way up and down the line.

Speaker 1 Now, when it comes to relationships that are pretty much undocumented relationships, we suppose they extend trust to people. Like, oh, it's natural.
And it's actually not natural at all.

Speaker 1 Your boss has a relationship with you and you sign a contract, which they say they can terminate you at will if you don't follow a said job description and show up on time. They basically hire you.

Speaker 1 And this is the person that you're with the majority of your life. Not your girlfriend, not your husband, not your wife.
You're with this. And you are under a contract.
You sign papers and documents.

Speaker 1 When you go get a lawyer, when you go to the hospital, you sign in papers here and there. But for some reason in relationships, we go into the jump in feet first.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're supposed to do this and we're supposed to do that. And it never is that.

Speaker 1 It almost always inevitably inevitably is some bs yeah that now you can't even go to some document to go and say oh well listen you signed this here and you said if there was any can't go to it oh we're supposed to trust and we're supposed to feel like this it really doesn't happen that way it sounds nice but yeah facts over feelings facts over feelings absolutely it's a little bit tough yeah it's tough should men show any emotions around their woman

Speaker 1 I don't want to be completely like, no, we should be stoic. We should hold masculine frame.
I don't want to be, I don't want to be that guy. But

Speaker 1 the problem with it is women will not use it properly over time when you demonstrate certain levels of emotion.

Speaker 1 So initially she may be, oh, I feel that this person's being sincere. I like that this man is opening up to me.
This is great. Unfortunately, she might use that information against you down the line.

Speaker 1 Remember when you cried?

Speaker 1 That one time you broke down. Remember, you broke down about the time where I ruined your baseball car collection.

Speaker 1 She might say in a time of, you know, maybe that she's upset with you, that you were weak. She might emasculate you.
She might use that information against you. All right.

Speaker 1 She might tell that information to someone else. All right.
He was, he opened up to me and she might share it with someone. Then that person gets that information back.
And you're like.

Speaker 1 I was opening up to you. I didn't want everybody to know this type of information, but I don't think they can help it because they're social creatures.
So they tend to talk and overshare. All right.

Speaker 1 That's basically what they're tending to do. They have a tendency to do this.
And so they may mean no harm. They may be trying to just talk.

Speaker 1 And sometimes words slip out of their mouths that put you at risk. That's why you have to have a discussion with them.

Speaker 1 Do not share anything that happens in this particular situation in the house at work in between us. Now, this is not good for her because she needs protection against abuse.
So she...

Speaker 1 If you tell her, don't tell anything that happens in this house. What if you do something against her?

Speaker 1 Now she's going to be like, nah, I can't reach out and tell.

Speaker 2 She'll be on edge.

Speaker 1 She's going to be on edge. So censoring her is not the best way to go about it.
So now what's the next best? Do not show any emotions to women.

Speaker 1 If you do, it's probably going to not be in your best interest.

Speaker 2 What about if you're at the wedding and you tear up a little bit?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hope you're not on camera. You know what I mean? I hope they don't get your videographer don't get that on camera because that's what you're going to see go viral, right?

Speaker 1 And she's going to say you cried.

Speaker 1 And let's say she doesn't cry and you was crying through your wedding vial all right yeah you're gonna look like a sucker all right and then yeah don't let your friends see that you know for men i think you know the the modern thing is that we're an emotion culture now so they want men to express themselves emotionally and not have this pent up

Speaker 1 idea of you know i can't express myself however you will find that it's often used against a man

Speaker 1 We haven't figured that out yet.

Speaker 2 No, you're right, though. When I see men crying on video, it's like I lose a little respect for them.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 yeah so i think what what's happening is we're trying to outthink and out logic ourselves against our nature it's been programmed this way for a long time i mean maybe hundreds of years or thousands of years and there's a reason why we do things there's a reason why we have these codes all right never show emotion against your your girl never do this it's not something we came up with um to you know establish some gender roles we just know it just doesn't work it just doesn't work you know what i mean like we look at men differently that do this and we say, what's wrong with him?

Speaker 1 You know, why would he do that? Why can't he exhibit toughness? For instance, if a guy wins the MVP of the NFL and he gets up there and cries,

Speaker 1 what kind of football player is this? Right. This guy can't lead the locker room.
He's supposed to be the team quarterback and he's running around with fingernail polish and he's crying in the stands.

Speaker 1 Guess what, man?

Speaker 1 He can't lead the team. He's not a real man.
So he immediately loses respect, even though we want men to open up. Right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's ironic. Can men and women be friends?

Speaker 1 Depends on what you're talking about here. I think if you're saying if two people are in a relationship and they have friends of different genders, it's going to be a no.

Speaker 2 Oh, a no? No. Okay.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 So if you're single, yes, but in a relationship, no.

Speaker 1 If you get into a relationship, those friends of the opposite gender, you must have a different relationship with them.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or else you're opening up yourself again. This is where we get into these, well, this should happen.
Well, we know what does happen. Right.

Speaker 1 People are naturally going to be jealous or people will take opportunities that might present themselves or take advantage of situations where now you got to talk yourself out of it.

Speaker 1 I'll give you an example.

Speaker 1 Men tend to become friends with women to sneak their way into relationships. Okay.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 this might be something that women don't want to accept. I think they innately understand it, but they will never admit

Speaker 1 because they need multiple men. They need men.
They need friends. Because let's say I say, I'm going to take care of you, and I don't.
What are they going to go to?

Speaker 1 They need someone else to hop to. Right.

Speaker 1 So they're going to keep multiple men around for this reason that gives her a little bit of security and a sense to protect themselves from you not handling your responsibility.

Speaker 1 So they have male orbiters and men that are friends and these type of things.

Speaker 1 Now, it is said that 50 to 75 percent of women have a backup mate planned while they're in a relationship. Damn, that high.

Speaker 2 Holy crap.

Speaker 1 Now, if that's the case, who are they? These are male friends. These are people that she considers a friend.
These are people that she says, don't worry about that guy.

Speaker 1 And eventually, essentially, these are people that she can hop to.

Speaker 1 On the other side, if a man has female friends, you will find that if he gets in a relationship, she's going to change your friendship.

Speaker 1 She's not going to be buddy-buddy with you. She's not going to come ask to hang out.
She's not going to say, hey, let's go meet at the movies.

Speaker 1 She's going to initially, immediately go, oh, that's his girl. I'm going to take a back seat.

Speaker 1 She's not going to cross the line. She typically is not going to maintain relationships and continue to text message you.
She might if it's a coworker and it was innocent.

Speaker 1 But if she sees that you get into a relationship and lock in, you're going to see her back up.

Speaker 1 She's going to back up initially. Now, it's not going to be all the way, but she's not going to be like chummy-chummy and say, hey, let's go grab a taco.
All of that's going to go out the door.

Speaker 1 Whereas the men she will see a man in a relationship and he will continue to push he will continue to text message her he will oh just a friend right and she'll be like oh it's just johnny you don't have to worry about him and johnny is positioning himself to be the fall

Speaker 1 okay so i'd say no i would say it's just dangerous similarly married people typically do well when they hang out with other married people right

Speaker 1 Married people typically do not do well when they hang out with other single people.

Speaker 1 Right. So I got married.

Speaker 1 You will see married people hang around married people now if there's an affair is typically between those married people but it's going to be rare it's going to not going to be apparent

Speaker 1 but if someone's married and a group of married people go out and hang out with single people or all the time you're going to see problems immediately you are who you surround yourself with exactly so if then you take that into account a female in a relationship hanging out with a male that is outside of the context of the relationship is probably going to be detrimental to you even though people don't plan well i don't plan on doing it.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't plan on getting in a car accident, I don't plan on doing certain things, right? So, you don't plan on it, but things do happen when you position yourself for it.

Speaker 2 So, that being said, if you're with a woman, are you saying yes and no to who they hang out with, who they're friends with?

Speaker 1 I think you should be able to verbalize and say, I'm not comfortable with that person.

Speaker 1 Okay, now this is going to test your relationship. She might say, I am.

Speaker 1 What do you do?

Speaker 1 I don't think there's anything you need to worry about.

Speaker 1 You could take her word at face value, or you could find out the hard way. Because

Speaker 1 what if you find out? Typically, women will keep their exes relationship with their exes. I've noticed that.
You notice that, right? That's strategic.

Speaker 1 That's the same thing as her having a fallback plan. Okay, I'm comfortable with this guy.
If this guy doesn't work out, I can immediately go back to comfortability. What I know.
Okay, I like this guy.

Speaker 1 I'm starting to like this guy, but I can always go back to my, oh, he's my ex. We don't have anything and he's married.
Don't, don't, you don't have to worry about this. He's married.

Speaker 1 He's got a girlfriend, but we still talk and tell jokes and share memes and we're still in the group chat.

Speaker 1 This is going to be a disaster. Yep.
This is disastrous. All right.
So then if you verbalize it, what do we hear? Oh, you're just insecure. You're controlling.
We hear gaslight manipulation.

Speaker 1 We hear a way for her to explain it out. And you know, I'm not insecure.
I'm not controlling. You don't want to be labeled these things.
So you're like, okay, I'll overlook it. And guess what?

Speaker 1 Give it time and you will realize that you shouldn't have overlooked it.

Speaker 2 I'm not a fan of if you're dating someone, they still talk to their ex. Right.
There's no need.

Speaker 2 That might be the one exception, I guess. But other than that, there's no need.

Speaker 1 I don't think there's a need at all. You think with kids? Well, with kids, you should, but you have to make sure, okay, I don't want this person visiting my house.
Right.

Speaker 1 But I think men have to start

Speaker 1 doing this more often. But what you'll find is when you say that, you'll have other men say, what's wrong with you, man?

Speaker 1 It's not the women that are going to get you. It's the other men.
Really? Yeah. The other men are going to be like, man, you are.

Speaker 1 And typically you don't know what their relationship status is. They're just online saying that you're insecure.
And I don't worry about that. And my wife can do whatever she wants.

Speaker 1 Well, you don't know what type of marriage they have.

Speaker 1 But I don't think exes.

Speaker 1 should be part of the conversation because these people know how to be intimate with each other easily.

Speaker 1 They don't require a date, they don't require, um, you know, people are familiar with seeing them around, they're not required to, you know, go to a hotel.

Speaker 1 They can be, they know how to undress each other very, really quickly.

Speaker 1 They know how to get right to it, and they know how to basically walk away from it. So they're too comfortable with each other.

Speaker 1 But what you're going to find is, and this is what people don't realize: the ex, who is actually her ex

Speaker 1 was she was in a relationship with that person even when you were around

Speaker 1 since since the beginning

Speaker 1 So she was there's an overlap between you guys There wasn't an end and you were the beginning.

Speaker 1 There wasn't a gap most likely there was an overlap which makes it even more dangerous that she's continuing to communicate because she was comfortable overlapping you two

Speaker 1 and she means she's gonna overlap you two on the way out right or the next man's gonna be an overlap

Speaker 1 That's why it's dangerous for her to keep conversations with her ex.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and that's when you see guys getting into fights over girls. It's always the ex or something.
My uncle lost his life over a girl, man. It's just like, it's not worth it.

Speaker 1 This might be controversial, but most issues that men get into is over women.

Speaker 2 Oh, 100%. I don't think that's controversial.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's printing. I call it death by simp.
So what typically happens, men that commit crimes, it's often going to be towards a woman or because of a woman. All right.

Speaker 1 When they do risky behavior, they sell drugs, they become part of gangs. It's normally they're trying to impress a woman or get an attention from women.

Speaker 1 Or they have a woman that's a part of that particular group that they may be sleeping with the other man's partner and there's a fight between each other.

Speaker 1 So a lot of the behaviors that men are doing either violently are directed towards women or as a result of them.

Speaker 2 100%.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pretty simple to see that. So in that case, when people say,

Speaker 1 love is good. When I say love got people in cemeteries, love got people in prison.
They love them a little bit too much, right? You know what I mean? Like the love went out of order, right?

Speaker 1 The love created chaos. So you got to be careful with that.

Speaker 2 Do you believe in love?

Speaker 1 I believe in the definition of love. I don't believe in what people call love.
Right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's been outplayed at this point. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think what it is, it's more of a fantasy approach to it and not very realistic, which goes back to relationships are transactional. Love don't pay the bills.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I love this person, but we're going to be evicted in five months or in a year or next month.

Speaker 1 How good is love? In the divorce court, they don't mention love one time. They don't mention God or love.
When you get married, they talk about God and love.

Speaker 1 When you go to divorce court, no mention of God, no mention of love. The judge is God,

Speaker 1 right? The love comes from the money that's about to be split up. All right.
So they don't even try to get you back together. They don't even say, you know what? I thought you loved each other.

Speaker 1 Why are you doing this? Not once. They basically are like, okay, good.
Let's dice this money up. All All right.
I'm God. I get to judge everybody else.

Speaker 1 And then let's go ahead and make everybody's life miserable.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 1 The love is gone. And you never know who your wife is until you see her in divorce court.
That's the true wife? That's the true wife. That's who she really was the entire time.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. Hopefully, I never go through that, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want to do that. Hope is not a strategy, by the way, but right now, yeah, you have to plan to not go through that.

Speaker 2 You need documentation. So one and done for you.
My dad had two divorces and no more after that.

Speaker 1 I mean, why? Destroyed them.

Speaker 2 Destroyed him.

Speaker 1 Destroyed them, them man you're never the same never the same i mean these are very difficult things for men to go through and i don't think people really give men the credit for going through a divorce they basically say well you know suck it up and get back out there and don't talk negative and don't share any bad information about the mother of your children but men get destroyed they almost never financially recover he lost two houses there you go So you lose the houses.

Speaker 1 And not only that, you lose future assets. You lose your ability to retire.
You might lose your access to your children. You lose the ability to determine

Speaker 1 where the monies go for your children. So the wife can take all the money and spend it.
And then when the kids turn 18, they show up at dad's doorstep. Hey, dad, there's nothing left.
All right.

Speaker 1 Send me to college. And you're destroyed financially.

Speaker 1 And not only that, your heart's broken. You feel betrayed by the people that were.
closest to you. How do you recover from that? Men don't have a way to recover from this.

Speaker 1 They don't have people speaking to this. And I speak to it.
So I give men an option. Okay, you went through your first divorce.
Do not get married again for five years. Only see hookers and escorts.

Speaker 1 Never date anyone seriously for five years.

Speaker 2 Hookers and escorts?

Speaker 1 Yes, that's it. You don't need your heart involved in any other woman because what's going to happen is you're going to get snookered into the second marriage relatively fast.

Speaker 2 The rebound.

Speaker 1 The rebound. And that woman, you're going to get the playbook to how to be, not be the previous woman.

Speaker 1 What you're going going to do is you're going to meet her within the year or two, and you're going to tell her, My ex-wife did this, my ex-wife did that. What is she learning?

Speaker 1 She's learning not to do these things.

Speaker 1 So, she's going to do everything. I'm wonderful.
I'm great. Oh, my new girl, she's great.
She's not like my ex-wife. You already told her what not to do.

Speaker 1 Second marriages have a worse divorce rate than the first marriage. Really? 50% to 60% of first marriages in the divorce.
It's 63% to 70% for second marriages.

Speaker 1 And it's 73% and above for third third marriages. They're basically worse.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 they typically are shorter. They're shorter.

Speaker 1 You basically get married in the three years, you're done. All right.
The first marriage was way longer because you were willing to work through it.

Speaker 1 Once you already learned how to pull the rip cord, it's easy for the second marriage to just get pulled. Normally, there's other kids involved.
There's stepkids on both sides.

Speaker 1 So you're dealing with a completely different recipe, which nobody gives you a playbook for.

Speaker 1 And the marriages that don't end the divorce, the guy basically doesn't want to look like an idiot and get divorced two times. So what does he do? He just like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to suck it up. Sexless marriage.
Sexless marriage, I guess I'm going to have to do, I'm going to look like an idiot when two women divorce me. Right.
It's my fault now.

Speaker 1 So he basically just lives through it.

Speaker 1 And if he gets divorced, then he basically done. He's cooked.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Because out of the remaining 30% that didn't get divorced, how many of them are actually happy, you think?

Speaker 1 Not many.

Speaker 1 Not many. I mean, it's tough for people to continue to go through something that's painful and be happy or then maintain that relationship and be happy.
So

Speaker 1 the idea of the happy marriage is only related to television. Happily ever after.

Speaker 1 They never go through what happens. So it's tough for men to get an idea what to do and who to go to when these things happen.
Some men, they off themselves.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 1 based on these divorces.

Speaker 2 100%. And it's difficult.

Speaker 1 So, you know, it's stuff that we try to give people an idea of however

Speaker 1 men we're hard-headed we got to go through it ourselves to really get a ego check yeah i agree i got bonnie blue coming on next week oh do you okay oh my goodness that should be it just what would you tell her if you saw her bonnie blue she's the one that slept with a thousand in a day

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 man what would i tell her

Speaker 1 I don't think she's doing anything.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't think she is doing anything that is not being allowed for her to do.

Speaker 1 I think her parents are helping her with her marketing. Yep.
So it's a family business. So they've monetized their daughter and it's a family business.

Speaker 1 She's probably going through some trauma and she's hiding that. So it possible, she could be a little bit more honest about what she's going through.

Speaker 1 I don't think people will consider taking her genuinely, but she's probably going through a lot of things that she's not telling people.

Speaker 1 But she's promoting that lifestyle so that, yes, a lot of people are probably going to duplicate it or compete with her and they're going to go through the same issues but i think you know from a lot of people have drawn the lines and said she's degrading society i mean there's people there's women doing that that you never even heard of and they're not doing they're not filming it or they're filming it and they're not just as popular right but i and i know living in las vegas I know them.

Speaker 1 Oh, you've seen them.

Speaker 1 I know them. I've seen them.
I've been around them. They walk casinos at night.

Speaker 1 They walk to casinos at night and they're doing the similar, maybe not a thousand guys in in once, but some women are just doing, you know, six guys at once.

Speaker 2 Yeah. A thousand a year probably.
A thousand a year.

Speaker 1 So it's happening and

Speaker 1 it is what it is. I try not to promote her on my show.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 where men stand is that they're going to subscribe to her.

Speaker 1 They're going to give her money. As soon as I keep talking about her over and over again, they're going to give her money.
For my particular audience, I try to protect from that.

Speaker 1 But I can see why people will want to get, you know, interview her. She got, she got numbers.
Yeah. I would interview her.
I just wouldn't talk about her. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. The simp culture.
I used to be a simp, I'll be honest. Okay.
And I could see where they're coming from, but I was so surprised how many of them there are these days.

Speaker 2 Because when I was a simp, it was rare. It wasn't like a common thing, I feel like.

Speaker 1 Well, you can hide behind the computer, right? You could just send your $5

Speaker 1 or talk to them and, you know, get subscribed to this. I just think it's easier for men to be able to have relationships with people online.
That's why, you know, can we say OnlyFans? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the OnlyFans thing, some people don't understand it. For me, I, I understand it completely because of the culture that we're in today.
So people are like, hey, there's free access to this online.

Speaker 1 Why would you subscribe to this person? Well, that person you can somewhat have a conversation with. You feel connected to them.
You might not be talking to her.

Speaker 1 You might be talking to her manager or pimp or whoever. Yeah.
So. But they feel connected to a person.
Whereas this video you're seeing on this website, you're not connected to that person.

Speaker 1 You might be able to get yourself pleasure, but you don't have a connection to them. That's like an Instagram site that you can see and interact.
They might heart your comment. Right.

Speaker 1 Where over here, they're not. Typically, the men that are using these are married men, overwhelmingly married men.
And married men do not have this relationship with their wives.

Speaker 1 They might tend to like younger women. They like the younger version of their wives.

Speaker 1 Even if they're old or they have a daughter that age, they still have a desire to communicate with this particular group of women. They can't get that on off-site.

Speaker 1 They can get that or they can get an idea that they're doing that on here. So it is for those group of men serving a purpose.
So it's creating a simp culture where the women can monetize themselves.

Speaker 1 These men can feel like that contribution is helping her pay her way through college or something like that.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, I just think, you know, without that, without the internet, without access to social media, you're not going to be able to cure simp culture.

Speaker 2 That's when I was a simp. Yeah, it was a lot harder, but now OnlyFans has made it so easy.
I think 30% of guys my generation are virgins now.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 something like that.

Speaker 2 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 Which the women is something like 18 or 19%.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. So it's more women are engaging in this particular, engaging in sex, and the men aren't.
They're being excluded from it.

Speaker 1 People are looking for answers. People want to help this group of men.
So they'll say, be more confident and, you know, learn, you know, get a bigger chest or do some push-ups.

Speaker 1 Like they start telling me what to do, get a better job. Like they're trying to solve for it, but they're missing the entire picture.

Speaker 1 Every time I hear people try to solve for this, they get the solution wrong

Speaker 1 because what they don't want to do, and they know this, they do not want to say these OnlyFans girls or the women, the young women that are experimenting with this particular group of people should be shamed and ostracized from society.

Speaker 1 They should be, we should have parameters around what these women do. We should not let them terminate their kids and jump them on birth control.

Speaker 1 But they can't do that.

Speaker 1 That is cancel culture. That's misogyny.
That's patriarchy. You can't go in and attack that group of people, right? They're protecting a group of people.
You're blaming them.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you're victim blaming. Oh, they're the victim.
All right. They had to be forced into this and you're blaming them.
However, they then tell the guys that they have to become better.

Speaker 1 And that's the way they're going to get these women. And it's false.
They're not going to get the, not immediately. You'll get the remnants of this woman.

Speaker 1 You'll get her after she's shell-shocked through OnlyFans. I know a lot of former OnlyFans girls.
They're shell-shocked.

Speaker 1 They're a mess.

Speaker 1 They're a mess. They're trying to readapt to society.
You will find that they're doing riskier behavior other than the OnlyFans related to drugs.

Speaker 1 They're doing a lot of escorting and a lot of things where they're showing up at hotel suites and there's orgies and it's a mess. They're shell-shocked.
They're in massive depression.

Speaker 1 They don't know how to make money,

Speaker 1 fast money, the way they made that fast money. So they start doing fast money tricks after that.

Speaker 1 And then they start wanting to marry a rich guy to get out of that situation and potentially scrub their history off the internet. That's how they, that's their, that's their out.

Speaker 1 So they're not able to maintain regular relationships. after that.
They're not able to maintain regular jobs and work, go work at sling hamburgers and deliver, you know, as a waitress.

Speaker 1 It's too much, it's too slow.

Speaker 1 However, it's the men's fault, right? Oh, you poor guys out here need to become better and then come, you know, run game on these girls and learn how to approach them. It's not the truth.

Speaker 1 It's not the truth. We're allowing the women to degrade themselves and then telling the men to be better for that group of women and marry them up after they're shell-shocked.

Speaker 1 They're not addressing that side. Right.

Speaker 1 How come the promiscuity has gone up on the woman's side and declined on the men's side?

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 We need to figure that out. All right.
Why are we allowing that and not shaming that or just shaming the men?

Speaker 1 These men got to be better. They got to start eating their weedies.
And, okay, but what about what these girls are doing?

Speaker 1 That's completely messing up the balance of the relationship because at some particular point, she's going to want to get away from that promiscuity. It's a period.
It's a phase.

Speaker 1 So what is she going to seek out? these group of men and completely manipulate the hell out of them because they're inexperienced. They don't want to ask the tough questions.

Speaker 1 They're just lucky to be there. But they also have somebody's completely traumatized through promiscuity and putting their ass on the internet.

Speaker 1 So for the future relationship, it's going to be a disaster. So recipe for disaster.

Speaker 2 R.I.P.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 Coach Craig, it's been fun, man. Where can people watching this watch your show and keep up with you, man?

Speaker 1 I'm on the free agent lifestyle channel on YouTube. Also, the Coach Reg Adams channel is my main channel.
You can get me on Instagram. I'm on Instagram and TikTok.
Coach Reg Reg Adams.

Speaker 1 You can Google it. I'm on there.
I got the book, The Free Agent Lifestyle. Go get it.
Oh, yes, sir.

Speaker 2 Pleasure, man.

Speaker 1 Thank you, man. Thanks for coming on.

Speaker 2 I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Guys, I think you're live every day, right? Live every day.

Speaker 2 Live every day. Check them out.
See you next time.

Speaker 2 I hope you guys are enjoying the show. Please don't forget to like and subscribe.
It helps the show a lot with the algorithm. Thank you.