Unlock Your Brain’s Hidden Patterns in 20 Minutes I Bizzie Gold DSH #1270

5,000 jigsaw puzzle pieces and now they're seeing the whole jigsaw puzzle and they're like,

oh shit. I am this person.
I can't run from this anymore. And somebody's not labeling me.
Someone's not telling me I am this way. I was distracted enough to tell the truth in all these small sections.
And now when I put it all together, I can see now that this is me. All right guys, BusyGold here today.

We're going to talk human behavior. She knows a lot of fascinating stuff.
Thanks for hopping on today. Thank you so much for having me.
Yeah. So you basically figured out there's five brain pattern variations, right? I have.
Yep. Eight billion people, only five of us.
Which is pretty crazy to think about because we think we're so unique, right? It's true. People are very convinced that they are unique individual.
And I always try to emphasize as a spirit, right? Kind of going more higher level. Of course, we're all unique, right? There's no other Sean Kelly in the world.
There's no other busy gold in the world. But the way our brains are patterned by our environment, they all fit into five distinct patterns.
From the work that we've done over the last 11 years, we've found that there are five primary types and then there are subtypes from within that. But yeah, essentially five different operating systems.
If you think of your brain like a computer, there's only five variations of an operating system. Wow.
And do they vary based off country or are they're pretty widespread

everywhere? Interestingly enough, there is a cultural component to this. The environment is

one of the largest correlators to the outcome of a brain pattern. So one of the things that we've

studied quite a bit is that there's a prevalence of certain types of brain patterns in the United

States, whereas there are other types of brain patterns that have prevalence in countries like

India or China or even some of the Arab countries. And then if you think about countries like

Thank you. States, whereas there are other types of brain patterns that have prevalence in countries like India or China or even some of the Arab countries.
And then if you think about countries like Austria or Germany or Switzerland, or if you think of just kind of like the tough Russian as well, where there's a little bit of toughness and stoicism that's very much part of their cultural fabric, you'll see brain pattern types tend to emerge that are similar in those areas as well. So throughout the United States, obviously we have a ton of cultural diversity and we also have a ton of brain pattern diversity, but there are certain brain pattern types that emerge more when a child has a really wonderful, soft, sweet environment with married parents, where unfortunately there might not be a ton of discipline, the might not experience much hardship they don't really learn how to emotionally regulate and we actually see a prevalence of a very specific type of brain pattern type in the US that is less common in other countries and sadly it has a poor quality of life that they promote actually sorry to hear that trust fund babies right that's what they call them.
Daddy's money, trust fund babies. Yeah.
Yeah. It's kind of like a blessing in disguise because you're born into a family with all the success and money, but then you grow up kind of mentally unstable, right? It's true because you don't learn how to emotionally regulate.
The stakes are lower when you're a child. So an example would be my husband's an only child and we have four kids.
So when he's watching the interplay between our four children, he looks at me all the time and says, Babe, I would have turned out totally different if I had siblings. And it's true.
Little kids are going to punch and slap each other. They're going to steal each other's stuff.
And you learn to regulate yourself when the stakes are lower, right? Getting your blanket stolen is not the same as getting your girlfriend stolen. Losing a job is not the same as losing a soccer game.
So it's better to learn those things when you're younger because you're naturally, you have more of a capacity for resilience. But unfortunately, a lot of parents don't ever put their kids in a position where they need to bolster themselves and learn to build resilience.
That is interesting. Yeah.
I'm an only child actually. In the town I grew up in, that was super rare.
Everyone else had like siblings. I wonder if that played a role in my mental development.
It absolutely can. What we've found is that there's not just one specific correlative factor.
So we actually do something called brain pattern mapping. It takes about 20 minutes to do the online diagnostic.
And what we've done is we've actually noticed that there are very specific data sets that correlate to your early childhood history that may include things like religion or culture, but it's more than just the fact that they existed. It's more how they were delivered.
So I think sometimes people try to look at it very simply like, oh, well, Christian families are going to spit out X or Judaism is going to spit out Y. There's more to it than that.
It's whether the religion was there in the first place, but whether, for example, the parents were on the same page with how the information was disseminated. There are also overlaps with academics, how parents actually emphasized or didn't emphasize academics.

And then we also look at factors like how a child is going to report whether their parent favored another sibling. So example would be many people will say in the diagnostic that they felt like there was Hey guys, shout out to today's sponsor Kinsta.

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We know that that correlates with a very specific brain pattern type. Really? And if somebody reports that there is religion in their home, but they experience the religion as comforting, they're much more likely to be one of the brain pattern types.
So it's never just one piece of data. We're looking at a whole subset of over 200 different points.
But in general, religion, overall childhood environment, consistency, whether there was any sort of discipline used, whether there was substance abuse and primary caregivers, these are the types of data points that we're looking at. Have you seen a specific brain pattern for the top 1%? Absolutely.
And what's that pattern? So out of the five brain pattern types, it's best to look at it on a spectrum. So we have a graph that I can actually show you and I'll describe it visually.
We'll throw it up on the screen. Okay, cool.
So imagine a spectrum where you've got an equal left and right half. On the left side, you're going to have all the abandonment-oriented patterns.
On the right-hand side, you're going to have all the rejection-oriented patterns. On the left side, as you keep hashing out to the left, so imagine that you would hash it out kind of like you're looking at an XY axis.
Every hash mark that you go, self-trust is going to increase, but your trust in others will decrease. So you're going to look to yourself rather than look outside of yourself to solve a problem.
Every hash you move to the left as well, work becomes more of your happy place, right? You tend to be more career driven, purpose driven, but relationships tend to become more of an area of contention or conflict. So every time you move out to that left side, relationship conflict is going to go up, but your purpose and work life is going to also go up.
Wow. The other thing that's really important here is that you become incredibly situationally aware.
So imagine if you go all the way out to that far left hand side and you are at the max of situational awareness, but you also are at the max of self-trust. Can you imagine what might happen to you? If you're aware of every single thing in your environment, but you also have a high level of self-trust, you'd become paranoid.
Because you wouldn't know what to take action on or not anymore. I grew up with a dad that had us very keen on always knowing where our exits were and always being able to watch the room.
So in a way, my dad kind of parented me to have a high level of situational awareness. Imagine if you couldn't turn that off.
Imagine if every time somebody moved their shoulder weird or made a funny face while you were at a restaurant with friends. Do you think you'd be able to focus on what your friends were saying? No.
No. So the byproduct of that is that the people around you will start to think that you're selfish or disengaged.
Like, oh, he doesn't care about me. When really, it's not that you don't care.
That's not the place that it's originating from. But you can't shut off all the stimuli that you're experiencing in your external world.
That's interesting. So as you move all the way out to that left-hand side on the spectrum, the viewers and listeners are going to see a big circle.
Inside of that circle, we're going to see a high prevalence of paranoia, schizophrenia, anything where you can no longer find the objective line of reality. Within that left side, there are two primary subtypes.
There's a very specific section, which I will do a box around for your viewers where the top 1% are. Interestingly, the top 1% is also where all the most, I would say, famous comedians are likely.
If any top comedian is listening to this, which I know there are many because some of you guys manage my social media platforms, I would love people that have that kind of skill set and that career path to come to me. I will give you a brain pattern map for free because I want to prove my point.
You guys are all in that square. Yeah.
And you predict with 98.3% accuracy, right? We do. So in 20 minutes, we can accurately predict patterns of thought, behavior, and decision making with 98.3% accuracy.
And I think the coolest thing about this is that the entire field of mental health is really built on a foundation of narrative therapy. Well, Sean, tell me about your parents.
What was your parents' marriage like? These are all narrative-based questions that allow you to tell me a story. They're not objective data.
And what we have found is that the narrative is actually a byproduct or coming through the lens of a brain pattern. So if you are not focused on the data, you're missing the wealth of information that comes from understanding how the brain pattern distorts the narrative.
Right. They'll never ask you for data in therapy.
Never. In fact, I think they're triggered by it.
And rightfully so, because if we keep walking the path that I believe my company is walking, it will eventually start to make that field obsolete. One of the things that I've been thinking about a lot because I've bumped heads with quite a few people in this field because I do think at the core, and I think this goes across many different areas of our life, not just the mental health field, there's this sense that healing is no longer possible and everyone should just accept, cope, or adapt.
And it feels like there's something more sinister going on behind the scenes where the powers that be, whoever that is, I'll let the listeners jump to their own conclusions, don't actually want us to figure out how to be mentally well. And for a long time, the mental health field has treated psychology and mental health outcomes like a phenomenon.
And in this way, I think they're relating psychology more to an art, but it really is math. Yeah.
They call it a mental health epidemic, right? Going on right now. Absolutely.
Mental health epidemic that keeps getting worse. i think we were pitched this lie over the last 10 years that the problem was access to mental health so if we just gave everyone telehealth then the problem would miraculously be solved but that has not been the case and the more people engage with tech interfaces and replace the human connection with tech interfaces i think it only only exacerbates the problem.
Absolutely. Now, how changeable are these brain patterns? Because I know these are formed when we're babies, right? Between ages two and five.
And with methods like what we do in break method, it's absolutely able to be rewired. It takes about 16 to 20 weeks.
It does take hard work and the person is not going to like the process. Yeah.
Our brain patterns are going to be partially what dictate our preference. So you're not naturally going to like any of the things that will ultimately help you heal.
But that's exactly the point. I could see that.
It took me years to break one of my patterns. My father was really pessimistic.
So I used to think the worst of every situation. Took took me a while to break that one.
That's a hard one to break. Yeah.
Because like he just assumed the worst. He had what you were talking about earlier.
I think the paranoid stuff. I think he definitely had that.
So interestingly enough, so on that left side, the top 1% are right in the middle of the left side. So if we were to draw a square middle left, it's this overlap between two different pattern types.
One which naturally has a high level of flexibility. So in any given situation, their fear state is adaptable and flexible, not rigid.
And same with the grouping just to the left in a different brain pattern type. So ultimately, and I think ironically, the key to being in the top 1% is actually not to be extremely rigid and controlling, which I only say it's ironic because nowadays on social media, everyone's like, cold lunch, biohacking, morning routine, gratitude journal.
It's like they have their list of their 10 things that they do to keep themselves going, right? The best wake up at four o'clock in the morning. I think if we really dug into it, that's not actually necessarily true.
And I think some people try to adopt that to try to regulate themselves back to the center. But naturally, the top 1% are flexible.
Have you ever seen the show Billions? Yeah, that's a great show. Great example is Axe.
Okay, part of the reason no one can ever catch up with Axe is because they can't quite figure out how he's doing it. Why? Because he doesn't know how he's actually doing it.
He's so acutely in the moment and flow state at any moment that he's able to pivot and adapt so no one can actually get ahead of him because they can't spot the pattern because there is none. Wow.
That is the top 1% where you're driven, you're highly committed, you're highly loyal, and you're able to drive out a goal through all of the other times that anyone else would feel like a failure. You know, obviously cliche statement about how somebody who succeeds has tried more times than you failed.
The reality is each time that somebody on the right side of the spectrum, which we haven't even gotten to, would immediately take the feedback as I'm a failure, I'm not enough, and they would stop. The person on the left hand side would actually generate their best creativity.
When things turn on me, it is the absolute best decisions I've ever made in my business. I don't take it as a sign that I'm a failure.
I take it as a sign that I need to find another workaround or a pivot.

So the people on the left tend to look for workarounds, pivots,

and keep driving toward their goal,

unfortunately at the expense of a lot of their personal relationships.

And that's, I think, the key.

I work with a lot of top performers and I work with that 1%. And more often than not, their life is great up to a point.
But if you look back at their relationship history, intimate relationships tend to be a really big issue. I see that all the time.
Yeah. And it's because they don't understand how to properly, I think, just communicate their motivation.
Because other people, if you're not in that square that we're going to draw on the spectrum, other people completely misunderstand your intentions. Very often, people would think that person is self-centered.
Right. Or even sociopathic.
But the reality is a lot of people, and I'll go back to that example of Axe, for those that have watched Billions, when he starts to falter and not be able to succeed anymore, it's when he literally can't do it for the good of others. If it's just for him, he starts to falter.
If it's for his employees and for the families of his employees, right? If there's more at stake, then he gets his best ideas, right? Then he can keep driving forward. So the irony is that the people on the right, those people don't understand the people on the left and vice versa, right? I think that's largely the work that I do when I work with marriages is that we misunderstand each other.
And when we do that, we call the other person a narcissist or we call the other person toxic. But that's actually very rarely the case I've found.
So misunderstanding someone's intention can actually easily be cleared up if you teach that one percenter how to properly communicate what's happening in their head. So that's something that I've had to really adopt in my life because I'm married to somebody who's on the right hand side.
So typically if I would just keep driving and saying yes to all the things that I have to do for work, and obviously I mentioned that I have four kids, if I don't learn to communicate with my husband and say, hey babe, this opportunity came up, I know I've only been home for two days and it sucks that I have to leave again. But here are the things that we gain.
If I get on the plane and go, should I go or should I stay? Then it gives him a chance to feel included in the process. And he's like, babe, you go for it.
I got your back. But previously, my brain would just be like, I have to go because of my employees or I have to go because of my book.
And I wouldn't think naturally to communicate that to somebody. I would just think they know me and they know my heart.
So they know that I wouldn't just ditch out on my family. So I wouldn't fill in the gap.
That I think is the work that many top one percenters need to work on is how to fill in the gap because people don't think like them. That's what makes them the one percent.
Yeah. Because they're moving so fast.
Right. And often they're not even really aware how fast they are moving because they can't relate to the other 99%.
Right. Yeah.
People will call me an alien all the time. I don't even know how to deal with you because you're like an alien.
And obviously that takes people work to catch up to. Yeah.
Communication styles. That's something I've been fascinated by because I used to shut down when conflict arose.
So I've been having to work on that lately. So this is what I will challenge you with.
I will write down what I think you're, so we mark nine different distinct markers in brain pattern mapping. I think I could accurately predict all nine of yours before you take it.
So I will do that. I will write it down today before you take it and then I'll give you a link.
Just from talking to me for 20 minutes, you can mark all nine? Yeah, I mean, I think I already know it. Dang, that's impressive.
Yeah. Wow.
I think it will end up being the most revolutionary step forward in mental health that we've ever had. And it doesn't matter what type of background I've had kind of brought into the back end of what we've built.
Every time the response is like, holy beep, like how is this not everywhere? Everyone needs to know this. Yeah, it should be with your results.
And everyone does need to know this. It doesn't matter.
Your life might be great. You might have a lot of money.
You might have the nice house, the nice cars, have the kids. There's always insight to be gained from understanding your brain pattern map because it will unlock all of the secrets of why you've done what you've done for so many years.
Yeah. Yeah.
This is valuable stuff. I think part of it's probably because insurance doesn't cover it.
Like if I want to get therapy right now, insurance covers that, you know, but they're not going to pay for this. They're not going to pay for this, but I will say the average amount of money that somebody spends on therapy, if you look at how long people are typically in therapy, doing what I do is significantly less expensive.
Oh, yeah. If you factor in the timing of it, for sure, because some people are in it like Pete Davidson has been going to therapy for what, 20 years? That's probably tens of thousands of dollars.
And I know that this is not the opinion that people want to hear but that does not need to happen yeah it really doesn't just seems like they drag you on because they make money the longer you stay it is a financially and emotionally codependent model and I trained therapists all the time in my modality there ends up being this moment where I'm sure many therapists go into this field because maybe a therapist helped them and maybe they're just driven to be that meat eater or peacekeeper for people. But eventually, if you're aware, you must reach a point where you realize you're ethically compromised.
You're no longer doing what's actually best for your client. Right.
You're just dragging them along at a certain point. Meeting a question with a question for five years is not ethically sound.
Yeah. What causes certain people to be so stubborn, especially in politics? You just can't change some people's mind.
Is that a wiring thing? So interestingly enough, there are very specific brain pattern correlations with political affiliation. If you're cool with it, I'll give a little bit of insight onto the right side of the spectrum because we need to know about the right.
Because the irony is that the right is on the left and the left is on the right. Really? When it comes to politics.
Yeah. How so? So the right side brain pattern types are much more aligned with a liberal ideology, and then the left side brain pattern types

tend to be much more aligned with a more conservative ideology. And I think your viewers are obviously smart.
I think the term conservative has been twisted up for a long time, especially people that think of religious conservatism. Yeah.
Conservatism, when it comes to government, has to do with the application of government reach. So conservatives tend more toward that laissez-faire, like we only regulate if we absolutely have to, because I think many of us realize the most important lesson that you learn, I would imagine in middle school, is that absolute power corrupts absolutely.
So if you allow too many government agencies

to get involved in regulation,

under the guise of safeguarding,

you end up having gatekeeping.

And eventually that turns into bureaucratic overreach

and lost funds that we're all seeing right now with DOGE.

Liberal application of government

is government should basically regulate everything, right? The human being individually can't be trusted. They need the government to save them.
On the left-hand side, remember self-trust. So the more you go to the left, it's like, no, I trust myself.
I don't trust them, which is, I think, what predisposes them toward a more conservative perspective because they're inherently suspicious of other people. On the right hand side, it's very much a I don't trust myself and I give away my authority and I look for other people to solve my problems.
But the interesting thing about the right side of the spectrum. So same sort of hashing out to the side.
Every hash you go to the right, your self trust goes down. So if you're toward the center on the right, you still probably have a decent level of self-trust.
But as you keep going, your self-trust plummets and you become fixated on relational interactions. So if you think about the contrast of the person on the left who can't shut down their external environment so much that they can't listen to you, the right-sided person is going to fixate on every single way that you fidget your hands,

raise your eyebrow, and it will all be what you don't like about me. I'll be trying to absorb or

observe the situation from that external perspective, but it's all a projection of

what I think you're thinking. So imagine how dangerous that is because I obviously have my own

negative self-talk. I've got my own insecurities.
That is going to be projected onto every single

I'm going to own insecurities. That is going to be projected onto every single person that I'm watching because I'm thinking about how they're seeing me rather than being present to the conversation.
So the more you go out to that right side, that can start to become relational paranoia where you start to think that everybody hates you and everyone thinks that you're dumb everyone thinks that you're ugly and you'll center on this and you'll cycle on it over and over again and you'll believe that it's true even if the other person has no idea what they've done they just said hey how's your day going yeah the other person's like oh my god sean hates me it's like what i used to be me actually well don't give me too much information because i already thought you were going to be over on that right side. So I'm definitely going right side spectrum.
So if you look at the right side spectrum, you're also going to see that in general, as you move out toward the right, having purpose and career can become really challenging because your brain is looking for what others think you should be doing. So obviously that's hard to align with purpose because typically purpose is something that's driven from the inside, right? It's not something that you get from the outside in.
So I've seen a lot of people that end up on the right side spectrum struggle with career. You know, go from job to job to job.
Go from this job. I want to be a police officer.
Maybe I want to be in the military. Now I want to be an entrepreneur.
By the way, entrepreneurs are not on this far right side of the spectrum. An entrepreneur could be like center right, but not all the way out to the far right center or far right side.
Only because they are naturally looking for hierarchy and they don't typically function well without the perception of hierarchy and either somebody to look to for information or unfortunately somebody to blame. So there are certain subtypes within this right side pattern.
So I break them into conflict prone and people pleasing. So these two will separate again into whether you're isolating or engaging.

So an example with a conflict prone engaging type, they're looking for somebody to be their mentor, right?

They're possibly on social media looking at all these people that they want to be like.

But more than they want to be like them, they want to be them. And ultimately, when they get close enough, they're going to be looking for all the ways that they can dethrone this person.

So little by little, they'll start to turn. This actually ends up being the covert narcissist pattern.
So they'll want to get close to people because they want to be like them. But ultimately, they want what they have rather than they truly admire the other person.
And eventually, this will lead them to create conflict and toxicity. And in many cases, these are the fans that will eventually try to turn on you and cancel you.
So a lot of what I work with top CEOs and business founders would be on how to spot people like that in your organization. Because if you have employees like that that are close to you in your inner circle that know all of your trade secrets and you get to be yourself, right? You're kind of letting your guard down.
Those are the people that will weaponize those things on you eventually and try to take you down. So just a little bit of predictive power to insulate CEOs so that they don't have that happen to them.
That's a good skill to have. And we can do that with brain pattern mapping.
Yeah, that's a great skill to have as a CEO because someone like that can tear your organization apart, right? If they get inside. Yes.
Wow. And they are attracted to the CEO.
So they're going to do everything they can to get there only to try to take you down. Do you see a lot of narcissism in the top 1% too? I don't actually.
Really? So that's what's really interesting. Remember how I talked about how in the top 1%, their biggest issue is that they're not properly communicating their intention.
And because people are so different from them, they assume that it's coming from a place of selfishness. The reality is many of the top 1%ers are driven by wanting to support other people, right? Do well for their family.
So going back to this Axe Cap example, he is driven by wanting to give his kids the life he never had and, you know, getting his wife all the clothes that she didn't have. As soon as that goes away, he's like a shelved person.
He's not driven to do anything anymore because a lot of these people are driven by loyalty and wanting to bring other people up with them. That makes sense.
What's interesting is that desire to want to bring other people up with you is what ends up grabbing these hitchhikers of covert narcissism that end up wanting to take you down, steal from you, dethrone you. Or unfortunately, they just act entitled.
And those are the people that you'll bring up and instead of being grateful, they want more. Yeah, yes men, they call them, right? Absolutely.
You reach a certain level of success and you surround yourself with these yes men. And when we look at the square, if you go to the very farthest left side of the square, right? So it'd be kind of like on the left vertical line.
That is the only place you may see a little bit of narcissism. But the majority of the square, these are people that are adaptable, flexible.
They care about their employees. Many of the people that have built these huge companies, in part, it's because they genuinely care about their company culture.
They care about their employees. They want to bring people up with them.
It's a rare person where they just kind of like act in a silo and just do what they want to do and don't care about other people that ends up truly getting to the top. That would be more like old money.
Yeah. Right.
Old money. Sure.
Old money. Top one percent.
Sure. Narcissism.
I can see that. But the people that actually built themselves up less than 90 percent.
Yeah. And that's a lot of the new money, too.
Yeah. It's kind of a different way of making money with the internet now, right? Yep.
And that square is also where you're going to see top entrepreneurs for sure. And you can see entrepreneurs in that center circle.
The interesting thing about the center circle, right, which would have overlap in left and right sides, these people typically had very mundane vanilla childhoods. And as a result, they didn't learn how to take calculated risk or at least calculated risk wasn't modeled to them.
So they tend to set their lives up to be extremely complacent. So maybe for them, they perceive it as, you know, I just live a simple life.
I like my simple life. The reality is when that person ends up, let's say having their kid go to college, they typically have an identity crisis because their entire identity was built around having the white picket fence, having the 2.5 kids on the dog and playing the part or being in the role, but they never really figured out who they were.
So as soon as that goes away, all of a sudden they're like, my husband and I aren't getting along anymore. It's like all of a sudden everything got thrown off.
And it's ultimately because that person doesn't know who they are. They're playing this role to lead a consistent, stable life.
So I see those clients quite a bit when they do have the empty nest or if they do have the midlife crisis or if a partner dies suddenly because their entire sense of self was wrapped up in their relationship. So those people in the center, they just don't know how to take a lot of risk and therefore there's very little reward.
So when I have those clients, I actually help them learn how to intentionally embrace risk and put themselves out there in situations that are way outside of their comfort zone because that's actually how they're going to build their sense of self. The interesting thing is, we look at the spectrum, everyone on the left, there are obvious benefits for us in the workplace, but we all know that there are places that we struggle in relationships.
So for a human being, we need to have dynamic range. And most human beings essentially don't.
We know how to do something a very specific way and maybe there's slight nuance or subtlety to it, but ultimately we move through the same cycle over and over again. When we learn how to have dynamic range, we need to learn how to adapt some of the strengths of other brain pattern types in an effort to get toward the center.
So when people on the left and right get toward the center, we do experience it as peace and stability because we do take risks. And now we're choosing to stay in something for a little bit longer than we might like to, or we're choosing maybe to say no to the one work commitment to spend another five days at home.
So these are some of the subtle things that we can do to get back toward the center. But like I said, the reality is that every human being ideally starts to rewire so that they can have dynamic range because we shouldn't just be responding to everything the same exact way.
And ultimately when the brain pattern is running the show, we do that and we don't realize that we're doing that. That is fascinating.
Yeah, I was just going to ask when it comes to like dating and friendships, should you stick with the same brain patterns? But you basically answered like you should have a mix around you, right? So interestingly enough, brain pattern types tend to attract very specific other brain pattern types. And there's typically a crossing of the spectrum that occurs.
So example would be the top one percenters in that square tend to attract people on the right hand side. And this is why I think so much conflict comes up because the two see the world completely differently.
So naturally, the person on the right is going to see the situation how they would see it. And they're going to project that onto the other person.
Well, they obviously are choosing to ditch me or they're choosing to not make me a priority where they're not understanding all the factors that the person on the left is considering that they might be completely blind to. So brain pattern types, when they come together, kick up something I call symbiotic dysfunction.
So when two specific brain pattern types get together, what ends up happening is all the ways that I need to be triggered to carry out my brain pattern cycle are exactly the triggers that you give me and vice versa. So the way you trigger me, the way I respond to that happens to also be your trigger.
So we end up in this cycle that many, of course, will describe as toxic. But what I've found more often than not is that these cycles can absolutely be stopped no matter how toxic your relationship is.
I've seen relationships come back to a very solid, secure marriage, even when somebody was right in my face being like, getting divorced was the best thing I ever did. And then four months into working with me, they were back with their husband.
Happy family, happy kids. So if somebody who's literally doing kind of like the liberal feminist, like I'm better off on my own, can then come back and say, actually doing this work with you, I realized it actually was the problem.
And I took ownership of that with my husband and now we have the best marriage ever. Holy crap.
Yeah, a lot of people can't take accountability, right? They cannot. And I think that is one of the cruxes of the work that I teach is radical personal responsibility.
Every one of our brain patterns ends up distorting our perception of reality. And these distorted perceptions are called self-deception.
And this is what my whole new book is about, is how we don't realize that our perception of reality is being skewed. And when it's skewed, our perceived choices are extremely limited.
So if everyone were to imagine a big circle, inside of this big circle is all of the things that you could possibly choose at any given moment. When our brain pattern is active, it's like taking a tiny circle, like the size of your bottle cap and placing inside of that circle.
Those are the only choices your brain will allow you to see in any given moment. So a good way to explain this is obviously you have these awesome crystals on your desk.
I technically could grab one of those and awkwardly throw it at you. Why don't I? Because that would be weird.
That would be violent. So but technically is that inside of the circle? Technically a psychopath might grab there and be like I just want to throw it at John.
But I would look at it and be like that's pretty crystal because my brain's going to just show me what confirms my brain pattern type. So what we're trying to do when we help a client uncover what their pattern of self-deception is, is that we're trying to help them understand how their brain is limiting their perceived choices using language.
Our brain functions on systems of language just like your car would need fuel to go unless it was a Tesla. So our brain needs language and everything we look at it will generate language alongside it, right? So if I look at your face, my brain says glasses, curly hair.
I can't just look at something without my brain in tandem piggybacking it with language. So what we have found is that to rewire a person's brain pattern type, you actually have to dismantle the language that the brain is generating from their brain pattern.
So it functions a lot like a computer spitting out ticker tape. A lot of us have learned to stop listening to it or just pretend it's not there, but we have to address that level if we want the person to heal.
That is crazy. Yeah.
We all got our own personal bias, right? We do. That is so interesting.
And when you learn how to take it off, you realize very quickly how distorted your perception of reality has been the entire time. And with it, the excuses that you make, the justifications that you make, the rationalizations, because those are all byproduct of the way that you see the world.
I feel like that's why some people take psychedelics because it resets them. It can.
I have an interesting perspective on psychedelics only because I think the vast majority of people are not emotionally well enough to handle psychedelics safely. I did a lot of psychedelics in my teen years, so I'm definitely not coming from a place of, you know, being a square.
But there are, and I think this honestly goes back to that square on the left-hand side. Those people could do psychedelics and I literally could stop tripping anytime I want.
And that was something that I realized when I was in high school, other people would be like, my face is melting. And I would always be the person that could pretend to be sober while I was high.
Wow.

Because I could just turn it on and off. But I have more control over my perception in general than maybe other people on the brain pattern spectrum, which I do think correlates with that left-hand square.
Ironically, and this is kind of crazy, but not the religious Bible teaching that people would naturally think of, but true biblical paradigm parent techniques actually place you into that left square. So I do believe actually God designed us to be patterned that way.
And if you look at it from a biblical paradigm, when you become patterned by the world, you end up being able to be manipulated by the devil. And ultimately, the right-hand side is patterned by the world, right? You're looking to the outside world to tell you what to do or what's good enough.
And on the left-hand side, you're kind of leaning into yourself and you're finding that flow state to figure out how you and your personal spiritual connection can navigate through a situation. So I do think there was, I think, an original design for us.
And I think that's why when people are able to land there, they do experience success in this life. So interestingly, I have found that there are ways to help parent this intentionally.
And I do teach that as well. So for parents that are listening, if you want to turn your kid into the top one percenter, there are specific parenting techniques that you have to employ to get your kid there.
Yeah. Who wouldn't want that as a parent, right? I'm already thinking about this stuff.
I never realized how important ages two to five were for kids too. People don't talk about that.
Critical. And I think a lot of people feel like kids have the memory of a dog.
Oh, they're going to forget about that. Right.
Maybe they won't be able to recall it verbally. That's possible.
But our brain and body and our somatic experience is going to function like a sticky web that's going to catch every single memory. And it'll use everything that it's caught and encoded to make decisions about our world.
So even if you, Sean, don't consciously remember and you couldn't write it down on a piece of paper, doesn't mean that it's not still in your operating system influencing all of your decisions. So we do hold on to everything.
And ages two to five are absolutely critical. And if you think about it, sibling order definitely has a brain pattern split.
When you're the first child, you're much more likely to be on the left side of the spectrum because your parents are much more likely to be dysregulated and have a hard time navigating childhood. If you think about it, I have four kids and I can think about kid one to kid four.
My ability to be relaxed and handle problems in the early one, two, three years with my last child is completely different. My first child, everything felt like an emergency.
Right. If you see a kid coughing for a second on a mushed banana, you think they're going to choke.
And then on the last kid, you know, they're sitting there eating carrot sticks. Oh, they're going to be fine.
You know, my youngest daughter, literally one day I just looked at her tooth tooth and her front tooth was cracked in half. And I was like, this is child four.
I literally don't know what happened. That could have been like three months ago.
They say parents are the strictest on the first one, right? Definitely. So I think bigger picture, it's less about being strict and more about a parent having emotional outbursts where the child might feel like they're having to walk on eggshells because their parent seems mad for reasons that they don't yet understand.
That's going to put a child into a position where they no longer trust adults. If they don't understand how to map the pattern of a parent's behavior and their parent's behavior is erratic, their trust issues are going to rise up.
Interestingly enough, it actually has a positive outcome. So the irony is that there is a sweet spot.
You want your child to not inherently trust other people. And I know that sounds crazy, but that is part of the problem with why we have so many rejection brain pattern types in the United States.
And surely things like social media and technology have played a role in that as well. We want a child to have a high level of self-trust and with that self-efficacy, right? If they look at a problem there, they look at themselves.
I think I can solve that first instead of mommy help me. Great example of this would be, I have my youngest daughter.
She was climbing up on a kitchen one day, like a play kitchen. And I had my youngest son, River, who was only 11 months younger than her in my arms.
And I saw that she was getting to a place that she was going to have trouble getting down from. So I'm watching her and I noticed that she's going to look to me and be like, ah, I'm like, mom, help.
And finally, I wait for her to look at me and she goes, mom, mom. And I just say, honey, you're fine.
Look at your feet. And she looks at her feet.
How are you going to get down? Right. I don't run over to her.
I don't try to rescue her. I don't grab her down myself.
I talk her through it. And I talk her through it with questions so that she can go through the process.
And at the end, she got herself down. I asked her questions, but ultimately she generated the answers.
Well, I could put my foot to the left. I could put my hand here.
And then by the time she got down, she just moved on with her life. She didn't come over to me.
She didn't even come to me like, look, mommy, I got down. Because it was something that she did and she was proud and she just kept moving.
And do we think that a kid like that's going to be likely to do the same thing again? Hell yeah. This is the kid now that will go to the jungle gym at a playground and climb something that's way too advanced for her and not look back at her.
So I've now taught her instead of running over and saving you, you can save yourself. I love that.
And that goes a long way. And those are those small moments that a lot of parents miss where we just step in and we're so afraid that they're going to bump their head that we give them, unfortunately, a negative outcome as an adult.
Yeah, 100%. I feel like with these helicopter parents, obviously they mean well, but they could be harming their kids, right? They do harm their kids.
Because they're too hands-on. Absolutely.
And I know this is not necessarily going to be popular with, I think, the climate that we've experienced in the U.S. since COVID times.
But COVID times, I feel like so many people decided that homesteading and homeschooling was the solution for everything. And what I have found time and time again is that homeschooling can go terribly, terribly wrong.
Yeah, I bet. Terribly wrong for a variety of issues.
So one of the primary issues is that if a parent has trouble emotionally regulating themselves, what you've done now is you've isolated your child and you've now made yourself their primary source of environmental stimuli. And you've now isolated them potentially from friend groups.
And you've also isolated them from social interactions that will actually start to teach them about their behavior.

These are called social sanctions.

So a parent is not likely to give social sanctions that are really going to matter.

But if I were in middle school and I did something that was rude and a bunch of my friends suddenly turned their back at me and wouldn't talk to me on recess, I'd have to think about it.

What did I do?

Why won't my friends talk to me?

But your mom's not going to do that.

Your dad's not going to do that. They're not going to turn their back on you and push you out of the group for recess.
And sure, those are things that feel sad in the moment. But those things build you up.
We need those things. Because again, the stakes are lower.
If I'm a child and my friends just push me out of my group for two days and then let me back in because I changed my behavior. With very low stakes, I've learned how to become a better person.

But push that into adulthood, that's a hard lesson to learn. And most people don't learn it because they think that it's the other person's fault.
It's not me. I didn't do anything.
This group is victimizing me. And thus, the far right side of the spectrum ends up being mostly where very left-leaning liberal political ideologies exist because they're looking for that like connection and like group identity, but they're also looking to be victimized by everybody else rather than looking in the mirror and taking radical personal responsibility.
How am I distorting the situation and projecting my insecurities onto somebody else? And what can I do to fix that? They're not asking those questions. And when you give people on that side information, in my opinion, they're typically very unwilling to listen to it.
Yeah, like you said, it takes four to five months to change this pattern. So you're not going to change their opinion on the spot, right? Absolutely not.
And they're so similar to that left side square that we've talked about where you have the top 1%, the right side square. So basically the mirrored equivalent of that over to the right.
These people are going to have a really rough quality of life as self-reported, right? So maybe not on the outside looking in because they might have kind of pulled off a decent life for themselves on paper. But if they were actually filling out qualitative information about their life, they would be miserable.
They'd probably, you know, often people on that right side square would report suicidal ideation, not having a purpose, just feeling completely lost and stagnant. Yeah.
And in that far right side square, that's also where you start to see a prevalence of personality disorders. So in particular, borderline personality disorder is very prevalent in that right side square.
Have you come across any clients that had that one? Absolutely, all the time. And is that fixable or are they too far gone? Yeah, I mean, technically what we do is behavior strategy and it's not therapy.
I've seen it rewired successfully many, many times. And borderline personality is regarded as one of the more challenging ones to have a client work through, predominantly because they're unable to see the error of their own ways.
And when they're faced with information, they will typically split and go into some sort of denial or delusion state. What I have seen with Break Method is that because of the way we do it, they're extracting the information over a period of time and they don't know how something's going to be used.
So we're intentionally capturing a piece here, a piece there, a piece there, showing them how to map it all out to a place where they can't run from it anymore. And they realize that they are ultimately the ones that said this.
And when they see the whole piece come together, it would be like looking at 5,000 jigsaw puzzle pieces. And now they're seeing the whole jigsaw puzzle and they're like, oh shit, I am this person.
I can't run from this anymore. And somebody's not labeling me.

Someone's not telling me I am this way.

I was distracted enough to tell the truth in all these small sections.

And now when I put it all together, I can see now that this is me.

I do this.

Wow.

And when somebody is finally able to cross that threshold and face the truth without splitting,

and they have a tool like break method, then they can heal. Yeah.
my dad had bipolar and they just gave him medicine that just made him numb. Very common.
Yeah got rid of all of his emotions. So and interestingly enough the highest prevalence of bipolar is going to be that far left side.
Oh really? Yep so far far left side inside of the circle leaning toward the paranoia. Yeah he was super paranoid Damn.
I think a lot of that was childhood trauma, to be honest. It absolutely can be.
There's, I would say more so I have seen with clients that come to me previously diagnosed as bipolar. I obviously don't diagnose anybody.
There tends to be a more chemical component to it as well.

So one of the things that I always recommend when I have clients that have previously received a diagnosis like that

is honestly to work with a functional medicine doctor

because nine times out of ten, there's something else going on

where if we complement what we're doing with something that's dietary

or supplements or IVs, you can get further faster. I've even worked with a doctor recently who does these amazing, they're from Germany.
It's a very specific type of psychiatric homeopathic dose. And I guess they're really intense and there are only a few practitioners in the country.
And I've actually had some clients also work with this doctor and seen amazing results with that. Wow, I love how you take that approach too because some people just focus on the spiritual stuff and it's not enough if your body's lacking nutrients or something.
Absolutely. And there are certain labels that I think do come in tandem with underlying physical issues where it's like, I can help you work on the behavioral, mental, spiritual piece, but if there's an underlying chemical physiological component to it, we need to get another person on board on the team to support that while we're doing the other work.
And we do have access to that. So typically if I have a client like that, I'll bring other people on board the team.
What about psychopaths? You run into any of those? Well, I've definitely run into some people that I think we would call psychopaths. They have a variety of other diagnoses.
I would say the most challenging client I've ever had that I think you or I would look at their behavior and be like, okay, well, I would probably give them this layman label, have pure OCD. Pure OCD, I think, is actually more common than we think it is.
And pure OCD can be on the very far left circle or on the very far right circle on the brain pattern spectrum. And it's very challenging to navigate communication with these people because they're literally not living in the same reality that you are.
Damn, pure OCD. So yeah, pure OCD would be, many people will use the word intrusive thoughts.
So instead of an OCD where it's a compulsion, like everything I touch, I've got to touch it five times, right? This would be where your brain locks on to an intrusive thought and you cannot get out of it. Holy crap.
And this is relatively common and I think honestly most people don't realize that they have intrusive thoughts until they maybe, you know, if they're in my work and they take one of my lectures, they're like, oh my god, is that what that is? That's not normal. I'm like, no, that's not normal.
And you can get rid of it. It's challenging, but you can get rid of it.
I've actually had quite a few clients who, going back to psychedelics, I've had quite a few clients who already had the underpinnings of like a pure OCD, maybe without the diagnosis, but the underpinnings of pure OCD go down the muddy waters of psychedelics. And as you can imagine, if there's already that sort of architecture, as soon as you put something like psychedelics into that architecture, they can spin out on that forever because you've now introduced so many stimuli and visuals that an average person can't really reconcile because they're not part of our three-dimensional reality.
They have a really hard time coming back to physical reality without fixating on all of the new information or visuals that they have introduced. I've seen this lead to clients going into a psychedelic ceremony and then coming out.
This has happened in two different cases that I've had personally where they've come out and all of a sudden have sought me out because they're like, I went in and I was straight and I was married and I had kids. And now I am perpetually thinking gay thoughts and I'm afraid that I'm gay.
And this doesn't feel like me. I know I'm not gay.
So obviously this is going to get weird for a second, but I know you've gotten weird on this show. When you're messing around with stuff like that, you are emotionally open, right? You're energetically open and there absolutely are things that exist beyond the third dimension.
So now you potentially have these entities that are now engaging with the already corrupted mental wiring. And it's really easy for one of those things to jump into that pre-existing intrusive thought cycle and now start to trick you into thinking that you're gay.
Wow. And I've seen that happen to, unfortunately, both clients were war vets.
Oh my gosh. Who were actually given access to psychedelic treatment as a PTSD treatment.
And obviously, again, I'm not a therapist or a psychiatrist, but I, in my just personal experience, have watched this go terribly sideways. And that's one of the reasons why I say psychedelics require somebody to have their mental wits about them.
Otherwise, they can easily descend into the abyss without realizing it. And I think this goes back to, at the beginning of my book, I tell a story that is what brought me, I think, into this entire field.
I went to boarding school when I was 13. I was a competitive athlete.
So I was living away from home and there are a bunch of much older kids around me. And I decided to do mushrooms for the first time.
So at 13, at 13. Wow.
So I did mushrooms for the first time and it took a few days to really come back to normal like for a few days i was like wow am i ever going to be the same again and then it just so happens perfect storm event i then get invited to go watch the movie fight club in the movie theater right so i go see fight club in movie theater have you seen it before yeah good movie okay so you know the very last scene where the two characters are standing there and they're watching all the buildings blow up and there's the clear realization oh shit these are the same person yeah that messed me up okay that messed me up bad so now I think that would have messed me up even if I hadn't done mushrooms for the first time a week prior but I did so my brain was already like wide open and I was already questioning everything and reality. And I remember just sitting there and being like, oh my God, I have always thought that crazy people knew they were crazy.
You can be crazy and not know it. And I swear my whole brain melted.
And for like a couple of weeks, I was just having an existential crisis. But from that point forward, I was committed to solving this problem.
because that is the ultimate self-deception how can somebody be that mentally unwell and have no idea wow that is deep I love that origin story that's cool yeah it could definitely go the other way though with psychedelics I've seen it with people I know absolutely terribly wrong terribly wrong and if there was already a challenge with finding that line between objective reality and other, it's pretty much a recipe for disaster. I would really encourage people to not get so sucked into people that idolize it.
You've got to tread much more carefully and I think be a lot more thoughtful with your research and looking at more negative outcomes before you decide to do it. Yeah.
Busy. Where can people take your tests and get consulting from you? You can go to breakmethod.com and in the top right, you just say start my brain pattern map.
It takes about 20 minutes and I think it will absolutely blow your mind. I love it.
Yeah. I'm going to take it, guys.
I'll post the results on my Instagram.

Can't wait.

And we'll link your book below as well.

Thank you.

I'm so excited for that.

Absolutely.

Thanks for coming on, guys.

Check her out and I'll see you next time.