The Christmas Toy, with Alonso Duralde

This is Free with Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Disney plus 12 bucks a month to watch Muppet Adventures when you could go online for free and watch a Jim Henson classic that may only feature Kermit for a few minutes, but has so many other equally memorable Henson characters like an old bear with a cane and a doll that looks like girl Chucky and a clown that dies.

So that's just as good, right? I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming.
Today's movie is The Christmas Toy, the 1986 Jim Henson TV special that definitely was not ripped off by Pixar for Toy Story.

And if you keep saying that, they're going to send Wally to your house and beat the crap out of you.

With us, as always, is the super producer, the heat freak, Matt Lee, hitting us with those Holly Jolly Drops.

Wally's gonna get us.

What did we just say?

That was from the... They're different.
They're totally different.

Oh, oh, shit. My bad, my bad, my bad.
That's on me. That's on me.

That sounds like

an astronaut instead of a BDSM

influenced space on it.

So,

yeah.

I always wish that Buzz Lightyear would fem dom me.

Buzz Lightyear needs perfectly circular breasts. Okay, we'll get into it.
Yes, we will.

We'll get into it.

to get into this movie we have a very very special guest uh he's our first ever returning guest actually in the history of the podcast

he's a film critic one of the hosts of max fun zone movie podcast maximum film and the author of have yourself a movie little christmas alonzo duralde hi alonzo

hi you guys i am i'm gobsmacked i had no idea this honor was being bestowed upon me and i will do my best to make it worth your while. Thank you.
Thank you for stepping up.

We will reward you with one cat toy.

Smells like catnip. Smells like catnip.

Alonzo, before we talk about the Christmas toy, which you're uniquely qualified to talk about, we want to talk to you about some of your other exciting projects in a segment we call Talk to Guests.

Talk to guests.

Okay, Alonzo, you are here for many reasons. You're one of our favorite guys, but also you have a, it is a new edition of your book, Have Yourself a Movie, Little Christmas.

It is a list, and it is a list of Christmas movies for all occasions.

Can you tell us, like,

when you got into Christmas movies? Was it as a kid or was it later in life? Well, you know, I...

I didn't think of it as being into Christmas movies, but I always loved Christmas and I've always loved movies. So, you know, those two things were always always kind of in the stack.

And I grew up in the 70s, which was the golden age of, hey, it's a wonderful life is on again. Right.

And so, you know, that just became very much a staple for me.

So as I got older,

again, this is all sort of in the pre-internet era. You know, I grew up in a house that had like five holiday albums, you know, so it was Bing.

Dean Martin, you know, Andy Williams, Perry Como, and like the Boston Pops. And that was it.
Yeah.

And so to get out in the real world world and discover things like, oh, what, Lena Horn and, you know, Ella Fitzgerald and the Ray Conniff singers was mind-blowing to me.

And similarly, there were all these Christmas movies that I had never seen as a kid because we just didn't watch them in my household. And

I think they weren't making such a big to-do about Christmas movies at the time.

So as an adult, getting to see things like Miracle on 34th Street, the original one, you know, for the first time, and finding these cool old movies, but then also coming upon films like, oh, yeah, I guess that is a Christmas movie because it is set at Christmas and Christmas figures into the plot.

And so the idea was to put together a book where it would, of course, have your established classics, your elfs, and your, you know, your It's a Wonderful Life's, but then also get into things like Eyes Wide Shut and Metropolitan and Gremlins, you know, and stuff that's also wait, wait, wait.

Are we considering those to be Christmas movies? Yes, ma'am. Wow.
Eyes Wide Shut is a Christmas movie.

Go back and re-watch Eyes Wide Shut. It is for all of us, isn't it?

There is more.

You would think it was a Hallmark movie.

The way that every scene that isn't the orgy has like a tree and you know, Nicole Kidman wrapping presents and twinkle lights. Like there is a crazy amount of money.

I mean, I think Nicole Kidman in slutty little glasses is Christmas for everyone. I would love to know there was just like a deleted scene where at the orgy someone takes the mask off and it's Santa.

Don't tell anyone. This is Santa.

I mean, the boots would work, but

and then this new edition is because the first one came out 15 years ago, and there's been a crazy amount of new Christmas movies since then that were worth talking about.

And a bunch of classics that I had just missed the first time. And,

you know, thanks to things like, you know, Turner Classic Movies devoting a week to Christmas movies now.

Suddenly, like, oh, all these noir films that I somehow missed before that are set during the holidays. Let's do it.

What are the deep cuts? As someone who's watched a lot of these, as someone who's written a book about it, like, yeah, elf, it's a wonderful life. All great.

We'll probably watch them at some point this season.

What are the diamonds in the rough? Can I sell you on Blast of Silence, which is a 1960 noir film about a hitman sent to New York City at Christmas time to do a job?

It is like one of these it is super bleak and existential like the whole what year did it come out 1960.

okay like the opening narration is literally like you are doomed to die as are all of us on this human journey you know um but it's it's really it's a really cool noir film and also if you know it's one of those things where like you know low-budget movies just shot with no permits they just went out and did the thing and so if you this movie if you want to see what new york 1959 christmas looked like, just watch everything behind this guy in the movie because they were just in there doing it all.

Um, so yeah, that's a really cool one that I that I hadn't seen before. Um, and what was it called? Something blasted.

Yeah,

blasts of silence. It does sound like a uh angsty uh 13-year-old boy's first band, right? Yeah, there you go, Blast of silence.
But I'm convinced. I'll check it out.
Or their first EP, maybe.

Right, right, right.

Okay, this is something we talked a little bit about when we reviewed the movie, but I think there's a little movement, and I'd like to be on the ground floor. Is Die Hard Up?

No, sorry, I'm not going to lie.

Psych.

I think there's a little movement brewing for Showgirls as a Christmas movie. What?

So there are Christmas trees in the background of much of Showgirls. It could just be they were filming it at, you know, in Vegas at Christmas, and some of that is just in the background.

I did not notice that at the time.

Multiple scenes, you have Christmas stuff up and around in Showgirls. And, you know, thematically, it's about family.
It's about family falling apart. It's about,

you know,

yeah, I'm stretching here.

I think you could make the case that Nomi Malone is on a redemption arc. Well, I think that you could make the case that all people come from people and what are people but families.
Yeah.

So

I don't know. Like any movie could be Christmas if you think about it.
And you know who else was a child? The Lord.

Yes. The Lord was a child.
You know who else liked to eat dog food? No.

But what came first? The child or the Lord? I mean, what

I have not dived deeply into the idea of Showgirls as a Christmas movie, but I'm not mad at it. And now that you mentioned this, yes, I do recall there are some scenes where it's happening.

There's a shopping sequence, you know, which is always a favorite in Christmas movies.

I don't tend to get very like argumentative about it. Like, I will die on the hill that yes, diehard is a fucking Christmas movie.

But, like, you know, I've had people say, oh, well, you know, in our house, we watch the sound of music every year. So we think of that as a Christmas movie.
And I'm like, great, knock yourself out.

It doesn't, I'm not going to take that from you as being like one that doesn't count. And somehow my favorite things has become a carol.

Like it has made, it is, it pops up on a lot of people's Christmas albums now because I guess it mentions snowflakes and packages.

So yeah, so like, you know, I'm not, I'm not going to be strict about like that is and that isn't.

But in this book, I definitely try to widen the window of what people might think of as being a Christmas movie, you know, like a film like The Lion in Winter, which is mainly, you know, know, Catherine Hepburn and Peter O'Toole like yelling at each other and politically outmaneuvering each other.

It is set entirely at Christmas. And it's like, and what is a package wrapping but that neckerchief thing that Catherine Hepburn is wearing? Yes, right.

It's a bow for a human. A gift to us.
Every time I like corn holio myself, I just look like her from a lion in winter. And then all of that.

And I'm like, same.

How often do you cornholio yourself? I want to know. Listen, I am by myself so much.

I want you to know that

I have a 3D printed little lizard thing that I play with here.

I got nothing but time to pull a

swirl over my head, baby.

If you're looking for a Christmas gift for Emily, she needs some teepee for her bug hole.

Well, yeah, this is great. We're so excited to have you here to talk about the Christmas toy, the 1986 Henson TV special.

Now, let's go around the horn. Emily, you were stumping pretty hard for this one.

Is this a favorite in the Fleming house? No, I'd never watched this before. I saw it

spoken about in a TikTok, and I think I shared it with you guys because it is free in multiple capacities. Like people have uploaded it to death, which makes me feel like it's okay to watch.

We do not,

you know, we don't endorse the idea of watching things free with ads illegally. That's not something we do.
But the fact that

I watched it nice and legal on Pluto. Okay.

Okay. I watched it free with library card on a canopy.
There you go.

You guys are so great. I didn't do that.

But it's just

YouTube and typed it in. It's like, I just don't think that Disney is coming for any residuals on this movie.
I just don't think they're going to go, hey, wait a minute.

Like, so it's been uploaded so many times that I feel like wherever you can watch it, just watch it.

But I saw it in a TikTok and they were saying that, oh, well, Toy Story clearly, like either it was, you know, parallel thinking, but this was 86, Toy Stories is many years later. And the,

I mean, the parallels are pretty crazy, but I do think Toy Story, you know, they took it and made a home run with it. Toy Story is great.

We are not saying that Toy Story is. I'm not a huge Toy Story fan.

Remake the things that don't work, I've always said, is the shit. Yeah, yes.
That's a good way of putting it.

I think that Toy Story took a lot of things from this idea, which I think a lot of kids think about. The idea that your toys are alive and they

turn your back. Yeah, yeah.

But it's like they took it and they did something. totally different with it.
But it's pretty close.

Alonzo, had you seen this before?

And do you know anything about the legacy of this movie other than the toy story thing um i had been asked to do it a couple years ago on uh one of william bibiani's podcasts i can't remember now which one but that was the first time i had ever seen it And yeah, I mean, like, there's this whole, you could go down a whole real rabbit hole of like specifically Disney Christmas stuff, you know?

I mean, sorry, Jim Henson Christmas stuff, rather, because you've got this, you've got Emmett Auto Joy Band Christmas.

You've got the

Muppet family celebration, whatever that the one where they're all in one big house, and it's the only time you ever see the Muppet Show Muppets and the Sesame Street Muppets and the Fraggles all in the same show.

Oh, crap! I don't even know about this!

Yeah, it's and it's one of those weird, like there's some sort of rights issue thing, so like you have to go to somebody uploaded it on YouTube to see it in its entirety.

Yeah, you got to go to xnxx.com or something. Exactly.

And go to the children's. In case y'all were wondering, that's my site.

In the children's movie section of porn hands.

They got all kinds of stuff.

It's ghub.com.

This does dovetail, though, into a thing that I am obsessed with, which is

I can spend hours on YouTube looking at Christmas commercials of like the 70s and 80s. Sure.

They just like, because it's, you've got 60 seconds to get people in the mood, you know, and so they're just like slamming you with all the the lighting and the trees and the family togetherness and whatever else.

It's a whole subset of filmmaking. And this show,

as you alluded to, had some very memorable holiday spots that

I've seen many more times than I've ever watched or will watch The Christmas Toy. Let's actually, I was going to save it for the middle.

Let's actually talk about that now because we're already kind of talking about it.

So this movie, and Alonzo, correct me if I'm wrong about anything, you sent me this wonderful YouTube link of the commercials that aired during this movie when it played on TV.

And this was sponsored by Crafts, the processed cheese company.

And they had a line of, they had like a product called the TV Guide Cookbook.

No, no, no, no, no, no. See, here's what happened.
So

back in the olden days of

the vision, it was not uncommon for like, you know, the Alcoa Aluminum Hour or the chevy showcase whatever thing so but one of the last messages

presented by winston cigarette exactly but like so you had hallmark hall of fame you know and those would air like like four times a year and hallmark all of the ads during that movie would be hallmark and they would be longer and they would be tear jerkers and it'd be a whole thing about like oh my kids sent me this card and yeah

and then craft would do the same thing they would not just like take out ads during a show they'd be like this hour is ours baby dude I think that's brilliant. I think that's really smart.

So, the whole thing was like, All right, we this show is presented by us. Every time we cut to commercial, it's going to be us talking about our thing.

And then, what we're going to do is we're going to create these commercials that will only air during this special.

And the week that the special runs, we will run all the recipes for the crap that we make in these commercials in TV Guide magazine. And 40 years later, I'm hungry for cheese on some apples.

Like, I want them. I want it.

Matt,

we have a little bit of this queued up in this YouTube video. Would you play a little bit of this so people can get the value?

Create this festive sandwich tray for giving and start with Velveeta processed cheese spread slices. There's no single cheese like it.

Arrange with ham pepper rings and add a special holiday spread of chopped colours. Leave them in the plastic fragrance.
A beautiful way to give the season's best.

Craft TV special recipes are in TV Guide magazine.

Celebrate the season.

My favorite thing is, there's no single cheese like it. And it's like, of course not.
You're not cheese. You are not.

They don't say it's cheese.

You're a cheese product.

It is quite unlike actual cheese.

They are not amazing. There was a time when they would advertise the processed nature of food.
Like nowadays, it's like, you know, disgusting. You want organic.
It's natural. Everything is organic.

But back then, they were like, not only is this cheese, this is fake cheese made with science.

I think it was also legally they had to call it that.

Yeah, I think that legally they would be like, we have to call it that, and they just do it.

Now they're like, fuck you, we're just going to say whatever. You try to stop us.
Exactly.

And I hope people caught this, but in that recipe, I think they suggest pairing the cheese slices with peppers chopped up in margarine. Yeah, good.
I like that.

I want to die at 40, so I like that.

I will tell you this.

As a kid, I thought it was so disgusting when there was like a big piece of cream cheese with pepper jelly over it and crackers. But now, oh my God.

Let me add them.

Let me at it.

Yep.

These ads are like, they're trying to give you this idea of like, you know, for, for

this is fine home entertainment.

Yes. Yes.
Like you've really, your guests will appreciate the effort that you put in by mixing like chopped apples and miracle whip, you know.

I will say this, all of those ads, the house that like 80s, 90s, like Christmas parties,

there's nothing more decadent looking.

Yeah, because remember when we had a middle class?

Yeah, middle class, but remember where we had houses that were made of beautiful wood? Oh, yeah.

And everything, it's like they still preserved old houses that were made in the early 1900s. And we were like, we can keep living in these.

We'll just keep them around and take care of them and whatever. Why a bunch of shaker furniture? Instead of living in a Lego cube

that we've made everything else into. But yeah, there's always the piano.
Yeah. What's that for? Piano in a fireplace.

Hey, the house in this

special, very decadent as well.

We'll get into some of the details. Let's actually talk about what happens in the Christmas toy.

We start very strong. Kermit dressed as Santa.
You love it when a Muppet is dressed as something. It's great.

He's kind of the narrator. He pops up twice, but he's letting us know we're about to see the story of The Christmas Toy.

The guy that we want to see throughout the movie is like, I'll be here at the beginning.

I'm going to bookend it. And I don't want to get ahead of things here.

I know you guys, but I would deign to say that Kermit Asanta has the best hat. Oh, that's true.
Right. I know that is.

There we go. Thank you very much.

We'll say it's the best. It's a hat.

I don't know of any other hats in it, so it is the worst and the best. It's all the hats.
It's all hats. Yeah.

We are in the home of the Jones family. And wouldn't you know it? When the Jones family go out of the room, their toys come to life.
And all the toys are all Henson creations.

They're all these wonderful little puppets that all seem to have lives and backstories. Recognizable voices, too.
I'd say that there's definitely the guy who voices Gonzo.

Gonzo's all the way to the rugby.

Dave Gills. Easily, that's the voice of Gonzo.

But yeah,

it's like how Kermit kind of sounds like Miss Piggy.

Frank Officer. Miss Piggy kind of sounds like Yoda because it's Frank Off.
Yeah, exactly.

Steve Whitmire, who's the voice of Mew, is the post-Henson Kermit.

Oh,

fun fact.

Well, we don't usually have fun facts on the show.

We like to know nothing about it going in and nothing about it going out. We like to make wild guesses.

That's a new sting. Only fun fact.

It's so respect your ways here.

Anyway,

so the rule in this toy room, which don't think too hard about it or else you'll go crazy, is that if you are seen outside the toy room moving around,

you are frozen

in a state of toy death, a kind of a coma state.

You're a forever corpse. Right.
You're still a functional toy. You can still be played with, but

you can't move.

And you know, the Pixar is like, okay, we're getting rid of that. Yeah, I know.
I love that that was the one thing. They were just like, we're going to do this exact thing, except no toy death.

How about that? Well, I mean, what are the consequences in Toy Story? Is there ever a consequence spoken of of if they get caught actually? What the reality is or why they don't want to be?

I guess just that's that's toy, you know, that feels like the final Toy Story. Right.
They all get caught. We kill them.
They just go, we can talk, motherfucker.

And then they're like, ah, and we're taking over. Yeah.

Oh, oh, I don't know. I don't hate it.

Planet of the planet of the toys. Toys revolution.
Honestly, that feels right for right now. It's planet of the toys.
And then later.

And then, yeah, an astronaut comes to Earth and sees a giant statue of liberty shaped like Barbie. Made of Lego.
Yeah. You maniacs.
Exactly. You did it.
You maniacs.

I will say that I've talked about this before, but my biggest fear of the afterlife is that we could still feel everything, but we're stuck in our decomposing bodies. That'd be bad.

Yeah.

Now I have that in my head. This movie is my greatest fear.

It's like that, but a cat's chewing on you. Yeah.
I mean, we can only hope. And every 20 minutes, somebody starts talking about Parmesan cheese that keeps on the shelf.

Right. It's processed.

Add parmesan cheese to whiskey and chewing tobacco.

Anyway, so Rugby the Tiger, as we mentioned, sounds a little bit like our buddy Gonzo.

He was last year's Christmas toy, and he has beautiful memories of being unwrapped on Christmas and being the main toy.

A bunch of other fun toys in the playroom, which has a fireplace.

That always has a fire in it.

No one's paying attention to it.

I know. This playroom is so decadent.
And like, it's, I love it because it's messy, but the amount of toys in there, this is the 80s, 90s kid fantasy.

That dollhouse, that is like, there's a dollhouse that they all kind of hang over. You don't really get to see it, but I know that it's one of those dollhouses that you could open up.

Like you could pull it open and it would be like, oh, it's so cool. And it's a brother and sister.
And it's cool that they're like, oh, we share all the toys.

Like, the brother doesn't get a favorite toy. Fuck him.

It's like, all we care about is the little girl little girl's favorite toy which um we meet you know his his favorite toy from the year prior to rugby which is a doll that looks a lot like my american girl doll oh yeah i called her girl chucky throughout girl girl chucky and you know if you look at my doll i've heard that i've heard that about

you're kind of girl chucky thanks matt

but i'm giant but um but yeah my favorite thing is you had a full-on american girl doll, and then the thing that took her out of the running as best toy is a stuffed tiger. Are you fucking kidding me?

Dude, kids be like that. It's like, I mean, like, leave it to a mediocre man to come up and

she's supposed to be more in the strawberry shortcake realm. Yeah, but a stuffed tiger toy.
Like, he doesn't even have a little button that you push to go raw or nothing.

I kind of was wondering if she and Chucky are both supposed to be my buddy dolls, which is right. They were both supposed to be.
I think my girl buddy. Maybe, but I mean, there's a million dolls

that have happened, like, you know, baby wets herself, like all that shit. Like, it's the and unlike Toy Story, everything here is not copyrighted.
That's right. Yeah, kind of interesting.

They had nothing to do with it. Not even the movie.
We watched. You could watch it for free anywhere.
Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, I don't know.

It's generic toys, but it's all reminiscent of something.

I find rugby to be the most unremarkable toy. And the ego ego on this unremarkable toy is a good thing.
I know it's crazy. All the more crazy.

It's crazy. So, yes, as we mentioned, rugby is determined to be the Christmas toy again this year.

And he goes out to like get under the Christmas tree so he can be the Christmas toy.

And so

they send Ditz the clown, who is this very cute and dumb clown, out to like. That's so funny.

So he takes it upon himself to like go out and look for rugby. Yeah.

And then one of the grown-ups sees him and he freezes

and dies.

And they take him, they put him on a little like ambulance thing to pull him out. And I'm like, he still works as a toy.
They can still play with him. Right.
That's why you hide a limp corpse.

Yeah, just play with the limp corpse. Kids don't even know he was alive to begin with.

Just, you know, I guess it would kind of suck, though, if like every time the kid left and everyone reanimates, you're surrounded by a bunch of dead toys.

You know, and I, there's a talking phone, and the phone phone, his first instinct is to make a phone joke. It's like, the colored on the other line cannot come to the phone.
I'm like, phony. Yeah.

This is not the

phoning it in. Thank you.
Phone it in.

Phony would have loved that.

Phony would have loved that.

And so there's, as we mentioned, there's Mew, who's a cat toy. Now, I like that wrinkle is that the cats' toys also come to the phone.
Truly cool.

It's a great idea. You know what that means.
I don't think that what that means. The sex toys also come along.

Just a butt plug coming out. Only if they have faces.

I'm not saying they don't. I'm just saying.

I gotta say, there are some weird sex toys that I see advertised on Instagram that it's like a full weird alien like arm.

Yeah, people are into all sorts of things these days. But it's like not even very,

I don't know.

it feels not uh

hard enough to get in there, sure, sure. Just know what I mean.
Yeah, here's a

marshmallow into a it looks like it's just lackadaisical. Like, well, hey, sometimes, listen, sometimes an alien arm has a couple drinks,

all right, don't judge it. Yeah, it's on some new medication, I got a pull early today, yeah,

as soon as

the kids and the adults leave their room, all the toys come alive, and then a giant real doll crashes through the closet Like a Kool-Aid man.

Oh, yeah. Kool-Aid Man.

They can't talk because their mouth's always open.

We are never, ever going to have an advertiser that we have. A severed foot with a vagina.
That's not going to happen.

I don't know if you guys have ever seen one of those. It's just a silicon foot, but it's got a pussy on it.
People are into weird things these days. Anyways, Jim Henson.

If I had a pussy on my foot, I would still not have a good score on WikiFeet.

I guarantee it.

I'd never leave the house. Never read the comments.
Never read the comments. Are you kidding? It's all I have left.

Plug the podcast on WikiFeet. Can you hold up?

That's a good point. I don't know.
Can you take a picture? It's just brainstorming here. Can you take a picture of the Tootsies and maybe hold the phone with the podcast on it near them?

Or I could write it on my feet. Yeah.

Or you guys put out socks as merch.

And then we can wear them for a little while. And then we do a month of Quentin Tarantino films.

I mean, I don't know. If you think about it, socks are Christmassy because stockings

are socks. And clearly, Santa has a foot thing.
I don't know. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. He just goes in to smell them from kids.
Well, honestly, because if you think about it, stockings.

They often put a new pair of socks in the stocking, and it's like, motherfucker, I have socks. Yeah, I'm hanging them over the fire.

So,

as we mentioned, I think the most, so already, we got some, you know, we have the general premise of Toy Story of the toys coming to life, but, but here, here's where the similarities get too.

The similarities are getting a little similar. Actually, yes.
Lawsuit worthy. Yeah.
So the new toy under the tree that rugby goes to take the place of

is Meteora, Queen of the Asteroids. And she...

There's asteroids on her. That's for sure.
Yes. So she is a space toy, not unlike a certain Mr.
Lightyear.

She is from space, and like Buzz Lightyear, she still thinks she's in her narrative, right? Like whatever she's from, whatever TV show or movie she's from, she thinks she's in.

So she's doing like space pattern to all the toys.

And yes, how do we describe Meteora's look?

Very cool. It looks a lot like me from Good Mythical Evening.
I'm going to tell you that. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Barbara melted in a fire.

That's how I describe myself on Hinge. So, yes.

And I think, Matt, Matt, you're certainly on to something. She is mother.
She ate and left no crumbs. She is iconic.
Slay. Queen.
Slay. Slay queen.

Okay, well.

Remake this with Megan as the toy. Oh, shit.

Dude.

Remake it with Megan.

I love it.

I love it. And then, so, yes, but also, I think.
And she conspires to have the toys get seen so they die.

Oh, Megan's murdering the other toys by like pushing them out into the hall. Exactly.
By

seen.

And then doing the splits for some reason.

It's Megan.

That'd be your catchphrase from now on. It's Megan.
That's Megan.

You killed your daughter. It's Megan.

That's so Megan.

So Meteora, Queen of the Asteroids. And yes, we've danced around it a bit.
Two giant, perfectly circular breasts. Yes.
Perfectly circular. Real shiny.

That you would give to any tween girl for Christmas. Of course.

Yes.

Instant body image issues. Well, here's the thing.
I, as someone who has, you know, X-Men action figures that are the same size as that doll, the breasts are crazy. And I've never like,

I've never had an issue with it. It never bothered me because they also have like big muscles.
They're very strong. Like this character is tough, big, strong lady.

But because it's silver and polished,

there's no matte silver paint on this. It is like they went, somebody went

and then like took a claw

like wiki wiki, like really shine those fuckers. She's got literal torpedoes.
Right. Crazy.
It's crazy. I bet they have to put those through like, you know, tarnishing polish and stuff.

Like, it's crazy. And I get why for narrative reasons, but like this doll would come in a box.

Like she would be in a meteor box with like a big, you know, cellophane front and stuff and the little twist ties and back.

They just throw her in a box with tissue paper, like she's a sweater from a department house.

You sound like Pixar's lawyers who are explaining why it's not. No, no, no.

Come in a box last year. Came in a box.
But I appreciate that level of authenticity because that is how kids, I mean, like even in 1986, a kid watches like, Really? That's just in a box?

I mean, with the tissue around it? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know what Kraft paid to have this made, but maybe they didn't have, maybe not the deepest pockets on the cheese people.
Velveeta Meteora.

It's just like she's what was it? What was her name? Meteora. Meteora.

Meteora queen of the asteroids, or for

legal name. Yeah, I think we could have done a craft thing.

She should come out of the meteoro like queen of the processed asteroids. It would have been queen of

cheese.

Product. Oh, yeah.
By the way, I think we you cheese product, of course.

Meteors are not asteroids.

Yeah. Name's a little confusing.
Wait.

Wait, what's the difference? She was named for her mother's friend. Oh, okay.
That's fair. That's fair.
Right. An asteroid is an object in space, while a meteor is a streak of light.

Yeah. Okay.
But wait, if a... So a meteor doesn't land, it's like asteroid can land somewhere, but meteors are like, fuck off, I just go where I want.

Yeah, it's like the difference between like a hunk of rock that's sort of you know circling around the asteroid belt for example and something that is it's like the the light streaking from the

from it entering the atmosphere holy shit I have this is the first time I've heard that Matt this is the most fact-filled episode we've ever done what's happening we're starting to like sound smart we're gonna get a sponsor

next week we'll talk about comets Oh, shit. I didn't even think about comets.
I could be wrong about everything I just said. I did.
I don't know. It sounds right.
I asked Grok.

Listen, Matt, if you're wrong, if you're wrong, 30 nerds will let you know as soon as

they walk. I can't wait to be fucking just inundated with, oh, no.

Please, Reddit, do it. Really? Astrophysics community.
Do it on the maximum funny. Please do it.
Treat us like shit on that Reddit. There you go.
Don't make us come to you.

So Rugby, he kind of like tricks Meteora, and then he gets in the box, and Girl Chucky remembers the year before Rugby's year, where she was the Christmas toy, and she

cries a single tear.

This doll has internal moisture that comes out through her eye. It's the saddest like image, just this dull crying.

Which they held on to and ripped off in Toy Story 2. Yep.
Yep. For the When She Loved Me.
Yeah, when

that song.

And I tell you, if you want to ruin your life after a breakup, just put that song on repeat and it will just spoil you. Oh, I've done it.

Well, if you want to just expedite the process of heartbreak, if you want to, like, I got dumped. It's horrible.
I am ruined. Okay, there's ripping off the band-aid, and then there's a lot of people.

Let's just

go.

They always say, feel your feelings. And I'm like, I'm going to feel them the hardest I can for exactly 48 hours.
And then we're going to come out of this.

I just throw on. We need to talk about Bruno.

That's a fun one, right?

Bibity bobbity boo. Bibbity bobity boo.

A lot of great Disney songs for a breakup.

And then it goes from with somebody love me to, what is love? Like, you just go straight to that. And then you're just dancing.

But yeah, that song is by far the saddest song, along with

whatever Billie Eilish's song that she did for the Barbie movie. Oh, yeah.

God, that one ruined my life.

Like, it feels like that takes away, like, that is definitely inspired by When Somebody Loved Me because it's the same level of sadness, and they're both about female toys.

Another thing that separates this movie from Toy Story is that Toy Story has just a couple of songs that are Randy Newman songs and they're fabulous. This one is mostly songs.

Yeah, we haven't even mentioned that. All terrible.
They're not bad. They're not super memorable.
They can't even remember what they sound like. Yeah.
Dog shit. Yeah.

So, yeah,

there's some songs. Great running gag in this.
Speaking of Barbie, so there's a Barbie analog. It's the closest thing to a recognizable brand.

And she never joins the adventure because she can't pick out an outfit. And she's always changing outfits, and she has a little like commando outfit that she puts on.
Anyway, great.

I use that as an excuse not to do much, too. Right.
You should get a little commando outfit. Like, well, I'm not dressed for it.
I can't help you move. I don't, I can't buy my pants.

So, kind of while all this is going on, while the dolls are crying and

thinking about how nothing lasts forever,

dad starts to come in. Now, I think he is the tallest person in the movie.

Oh,

Jordan.

But Mew saves them by making cat noises, and the dad thinks all the ruckus was just the cat.

The hero of the whole movie. Yes, the movie, yes.

They shit on him for smelling like catnip throughout the whole movie, but

he saves the day.

Can we talk about the cat? Oh, sure. I wrote down the cat's name.
It's Ouija. Ouija the cat.
And Ouija the cat.

They're big fans of 1940s photography.

yeah Ouija the cat still alive and running a running a great little team it's a good little chunky like tabby cat I like that cat cute Ouija's great I do think it's interesting because that cat definitely knows that these toys come to life like right has has to know because like cats have good ears this is what they listen for Well, like, and again, but the logic of when they get seen will drive you insane if you think about it.

Cause you're like, right, does the cat count? And also, like, the parents see these toys all the time. Like, yeah, the idea is that they freeze.
I don't know.

The idea is that not only can they, they can't see you move, but they can't see you in a place you're not supposed to be. Right.

So it's like, I guess that's why they never leave the playroom because anybody not paying attention, oh, well, they're in the same place. But do they ever explain? I was.
I missed it this time.

Do they ever sit down and tell Rugby, hey, dummy, if you put yourself in this box and she sees you, you're not supposed to be there,

kind of did.

Okay, good, good, good. But I mean, like, he didn't care if he died or not.
He was,

it was

kind of wild. He was like, I don't care if the business kills me.

I mean, this movie is about Hollywood. Absolutely.

For sure. Like Showgirls.
Like Showgirls, which is also a Christmas

movie. The prestige, which isn't a Christmas movie as far as I know.

Yeah.

But I will say that, I mean, that house, those kids are, I don't know how old those kids are, but maybe the mom has menopause, so she won't remember why those toys are there.

Also, toys, if you have kids, are always in the wrong spot. That's

so

underfoot. I don't know how

they could,

yeah, how could they know? Why do they die? Nothing makes sense. We had to lift the stakes, I guess.
It was just, you know, add some stress to the movie. Yeah.

Okay, so we are almost to the thrilling and tear-jerking and nonsensical conclusion of the Christmas toy, and we're going to talk about it right after this.

Hello. Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network podcast.
No, no, I'm sorry. No sales calls.
Goodbye.

It's a multi-award-winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.

I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time.

She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old.
She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on.
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Okay.

So

we think that Mew, the cat toy, has died. And rugby, rugby needs to apologize.
So he, like, leaves the room again and just talks to Mew's corpse.

And

he sings Mew a song where he says, like, you're my friend and I love you. And Mew wakes up.
And Rugby says, where, this is fucking chilling. Yes.
He says, Where were you?

He's like, I was in a place that seemed like no place. It was very dark and very cold.
He was in hell.

They go to hell. It's crazy.

I actually have this clip because I was so

like, here it is. We're kids.
I was someplace else,

but it was like no place.

And it was very dark and cold. Suddenly, it wasn't so dark.
And then it was a lot warmer. And then we got

back.

Why was it a lot warmer? Right. Okay.

It just occurred to me. Do you know has stolen the idea of the dead person being brought back by somebody else's lamenting song? No.
What? Rent.

Which is also a Christmas movie. Wow.

Write a fucking book about this.

The cat toy is angel.

Oh, you're right. Will we find out that Mew has AIDS?

Oh, no.

Today for you.

They cut the AZT break number. Right, yeah, yeah, sure.

Well, I will say, so I don't know if y'all have seen Skin a Marink.

That was awesome. I'm probably, it's a very polarizing movie, but there is the whole movie is essentially

dread and it makes you feel like what it was like before you were born. Right.
And what you will most likely go to after you die.

And I definitely posted that on Twitter and the filmmaker confirmed it. Oh.

Cool.

I'm sorry.

Definitely. Win this, but don't, don't do it.
Don't get stoned and watch it, by the way. Absolutely not.

But that little mouse toy coming back, that is kind of, I think, what we're all afraid it is.

But if a stuffed tiger cries hard enough, we will come back to life. And wouldn't you fucking know it?

It also brings the clown back to life. So everything's fine.
No one dies ever.

Relaxing. well it took yeah relax leadership

well i think there's some kind of messaging that maybe it was intentional or maybe not but there is something about um

how leadership is more important than uh favor maybe and how like you can utilize your favor or like you know popularity or whatever to help others instead of seeking more favor. Yeah.

And that's kind of what glory shared is that. Yes.

Yes, exactly. So it's like, you know, that, and it's this generational thing where the doll whose name we don't remember because fuck her.
And this

because she was the oldest one. Like, she was a couple of years ago.
We don't have to remember everybody. Well,

the bear is the oldest, oldest. Yeah.
The bear, it was fantastic. I needed more of the bear.
I needed more of that.

I loved it because he was just like, oh, you know, I haven't been in the living room in so long. And I was like, oh, someone, someone just killed this bear.

I know, it's like, I guess the toy's age. The cat's been peeing on me.

They put me in a home and called it a playroom. Yeah.

But it is like this poor cat toy. Also, get that cat another toy.
Oh, they do get the cat.

They get another Mew, a girl Mew.

And so their friends, the little girl, loves Meteor.

See, and Pokemon ripped this off because that's where mewtwo came from that's mew and mewtwo fucking everybody stealing from this thing is the beginning the alpha omega beginning and end

of stone i was gonna say this movie also was ripped off by saving private ryan

okay say more well because

rugby you know is goes out he's like no i gotta go and then there's a rescue party to get him and a bunch die everyone

is trying to rescue him and then and then mute's last words are earn this and then he dies

This is the John Carter Warlord of Mars of the

special. Everybody just picked it apart for parts.
It's all connected, man.

It's all connected.

So Meteora, the little girl loves Meteora. I just kind of wrote down the phrase, I love you, Meteora, forever and ever, just because that was a fun phrase.
I'm like, well, she doesn't love her enough.

Someone wrote that.

She doesn't love it enough to go sleep with her in the bed, which like every favorite toy I've ever had, like my American Girl doll, I just roll over on those tits and then I was just going to say

you do not want those wake up poking you out. You don't, which has made me go, this little girl is kind of aging out of toys in general.
So everyone's kind of on the same playing field at this point.

But I slept with my American Girl doll in my bed, and it's why her hair is fucked to this day.

But like that Meteora, she ain't getting the kind of love that a stuffed, you know, she'll get a different kind of love. Everybody, yeah.

And she, she's, she even says, like, I'll love you forever, just like I love, you know, the

rugby and my god and girl Chucky. Yeah, and so it's like, oh, okay, maybe try.

But she's already setting her up to be like, oh, to feel like a loser next Christmas when something else comes along, when the Christmas phone shows up. But something tells me she don't give a fuck.

Like, some tells me Meteora's like, I don't give a fuck. But also, she's made of plastic, so it's like, try to destroy me, bitch.
Like, like, try.

I'll be in the landfill forever. Exactly.

I'm going to be poisoning the groundwater of your children's children.

The microplastics in me will make your taints grow smaller.

I will make you infertile, little girl. All your descendants are doomed.

It's true. It's good.
So, yes, Meteora is part of the family now and apparently has just figured out what being a toy is and dropped her whole space backstory.

She sings a final bad, unmemorable song with the other toys. And then fucking Kermit, fucking weekend dad, just slides on in.

You could tell he was at the bar having a couple drinks. You can smell the fucking old-fashioned on Kermit's breath.

And he very casually says, Well,

it looks like everything worked out here.

It's like, yeah, sure.

Where were you when the toys were dropping dead?

Yeah, Kermit. One of these things fucking went to hell.
The two muppets died and reported back from hell. The toys from this, the Jim Henson characters from this need to unionize.
Like, stats.

Absolutely. Guys, Kermit's got a heart out.
He's got to be in Chatsworth by four, okay? Kermit can also be. Ditz was never the same again.

Yeah, Ditzy. Yeah.
Dits did porn after this. Yeah.

Maybe this is like an Event Horizon where Ditz went to hell, but something came back with him. With him.

But Event Horizon is another movie that makes me afraid of dying. It's Skin of Marink and Event Horizon.
I love that we got both of those mentioned in the same episode.

Event Horizon, also a Christmas movie. Oh, shut up.
Fuck up.

Why not, right? I'm not going to fight you on it. Sure.

The ship,

it went to the North Pole and it brought something back.

Okay, so that is,

yeah, so that's what happens in the Christmas toy. I can never remember, it's not a very memorable name.
The Christmas toy, there you go. Okay, that's what this thing's called.

Now, listen, we have certain segments on this show. Usually, they work pretty well.
Once in a while, you have a segment, which you

didn't have to do, but you got to do it, or the podcast listeners will freak out. So,

I guess we got to do the hunk watch. All right, let's go.

Okay, which toy did everybody want to fuck?

You, put it in my butt.

I mean, come on, it's Meteora, honey. This is fucking versus

harder than when we did the land before time.

We all wanted to fuck Sharptooth, right? I forget. Yeah, I think it was Sharpetooth or Littlefoot's dead mom.
I can't remember.

But

I'll start. Yes.
Meteora. Yes, Meteora.
Meteora is, yes, is an icon, iconic. She is.

I will say we only see dad's legs and ankles, but he's in pretty good shape.

Yeah, the dad from the Christmas toy.

I'm going to go with

mostly unseen dad.

Any other questions? Any other thoughts on this? Can we put out a request to the fans? By the way, we love you guys. We love you.
You little freaks.

The few, the proud, the freebies.

If you could go out and create a

wiki feet for dad's feet from

the Christmas toy. Yes, please.

And then also Nan from Muppet Babies.

Yes, Christmas toy. And

yes, please, please do that for us, for Christmas. That's all we want.

My hunk for this is going to be the mellifluous voice of Ed Hurley telling you all about the many fine products from

the many fine products. Mine's Mew.

Yeah. You love the music.
Which mew was that again? The cat toy. The little mouse.
That cat toy is the,

I think that that is our real protagonist, like selfless.

Yeah.

He died. He died for rugby.
Died for us. He's a Christ figure.

And what does Christmas celebrate but the birth of Christ? Wait, I don't think anybody's saying this isn't a Christmas movie, so never mind.

This is an Easter movie. It's not even Christmas.
Oh, shit, this Christmas movie is an Easter movie. The rest of the movie is Mew.
Did Jesus go to hell? Whoa. Probably.

For a second.

Mew did. I mean,

his dad's away from him. I think what he went for was pretty hell-like.

Okay, listen, so our minds are all blown. We need to take a minute to process all this wonderful, new, correct information.

And we're going to rank the movie when we come back.

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we're back. It's free with ads.
We're here with Alonzo Duralde, author of Have Yourself a Movie Little Christmas. It makes a wonderful gift.
It is in stores now.

We are going to rank the Christmas toy on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials. But first, some exciting news.

This is our first holiday episode proper in the main feed. Over there on the bonus feed, we got something really cool coming for you.

Over there on the bonus feed, we do free with ads TV, and we are doing the Power Rangers Christmas special. I'm dreaming of a White Ranger Christmas.
Mild spoiler for our discussion.

This is the most I've ever enjoyed any Power Ranger.

Wow. The fucking rips.
We're going to talk about it over on the bonus feed, maximumfun.org/slash join. Alonso, you do shows on Max Fun.
You guys have bonus episodes too.

If people sign up, they get our episodes. They get your episodes.
They get all the episodes. Have you done any cool stuff over there on the bonus feed that you want folks to check out?

Yeah, no, we've done a lot of fun BOCOs over the years.

Recently, Ify Nuaroe, who is no longer co-hosting the show, but we, you know, still number one in our hearts, he and Stuart Wellington of the Flophouse attempted to explain how to play Warcraft to Drea Clark and me.

And to this day, we still don't know what any of it meant. But, you know, they were very enthusiastic about it.
So that was cool. I'm sure.

And I got the guest on a Eurovangelist's Boco episode where I showed them the not exactly the Eurovision song contest movie, The Apple, and all minds were blown. Okay.

Hot damn maximumfun.org/slash join. All right.
We're going to rank the Christmas toy on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials. Alonzo, you're our guest.
You're a Christmas movie expert.

What do you think of the Christmas toy?

I mean,

look, I grew up steeped in

Muppetness. You know, like I was part of the original audience for the Sesame for Sesame Street.

The Muppet Show came on when I was a little kid, you know, saw the Muppet movie in theaters, all that stuff.

This is not Apex Muppet. So

that's a good way to put put it. B-side.
This is

cut. Character design, not super on point.
And the songs, as you mentioned, are I can't remember them to save my life.

So, but, you know, it is a Muppet thing. And there are like a bunch of different characters at the same time doing stuff.

And I can only imagine how completely complicated it was and like how elevated the stage had to be so that people could be standing under it doing all that stuff. Yeah.
So I'll say like a six.

Hey, okay. Yeah, that's reasonable.

Emily, what do you think? So I

knew this was going to be bleak because I watched that, you know, the TikTok talking about it and I kind of knew what was coming. But I kind of,

as somebody who is in Los Angeles pursuing this, you know, the devil's work,

you know, this ain't God's country out here. So it's like, you know,

in the, in the words of our Lord, whatever piece of shit Waylon, whatever his name is, but but

it was nice to be reminded of

it's okay to not always,

you know,

be the center of attention. It's okay to just like let other people have a moment in the sun and to,

you know, lift others up instead of constantly trying to lift yourself up. There was kind of, it was, it was nice to look at that.
It felt like something I needed to hear.

Be nice to the toys you meet on your way up. There you go.
Yes. It seemed like something where it's like, you know, the little guy is sometimes the best guy.

And

the cat toy is the best toy. And also, I bet that toy is played with more than any other toy is the other thing.
But of course, it's torture. It's not like real playing.
Yeah, it's being the

play is death, pretend death. But, you know, it's something.

Maybe there's some mild BDSM stuff in this movie. But, you know, ultimately, I like

the idea of

that just because things change and you're not at the top of something doesn't mean that there isn't life to live. I like that.
And

I liked it. I'm giving it a seven.
I don't think children should watch it. I think it should just be for self-centered

people in their late 30s who are accepting that maybe Hollywood isn't what we thought it would be.

An allegory for show business. Yeah, an allegory for your career being not what you thought it was.

Matt, what'd you think?

I

listen, I'm going to give it a five. The way I felt about it was I watched it to overcome a fear that I had of this movie when I was a kid.

Okay. Because I saw this when I was little, and

the death of Ditzy had had stuck with me for a long time. Oh, my God.
And I truly had forgotten, like, I'd memory-holed this movie until last week when you guys mentioned it.

I was like, oh my god, that's real. Ditzy, Ditzy, yeah, and then I watched Ditzy die.
As an adult, I

feel better. Um, and I think I have overcome my fear.
So, for that, I'm giving it a five. I hope we get to do the same thing with What About Bob at some point.
Are you afraid of What About Bob?

One of the scariest fucking movies I've ever seen. Oh, my God.

It's about a guy who won't go away.

Oh, boy. You should be a woman sometime.

I can't imagine. This is true.
What About Bob and It Follows are kind of the same. They're the mother also kind of the same.
Yes, I'm telling you.

I love imagining you like sitting next to your daughter's bed and just going, Bitsy.

Sometimes, sometimes men don't. Don't look at the toys or they'll die.

Jordan, what do you you give it? Yeah, thanks, Matt.

I'm going 6'2.

It's pretty creaky. There are better Muppet holiday things out there.
A Muppet Christmas Carol is obviously a fucking GOAT movie.

The best Christmas Carol there is. Yeah, oh, absolutely.

Not even fucking close.

But I think if you are like a Muppet freak,

like seeing the deep cut is kind of fun. Like seeing all these kind of

D-list, forgotten, never again Muppets is kind of cool. And yeah, I think that it's, it's, you know, it's nice and brisk.
It's a TV special, so it's under an hour. And yeah, I think

you could put this on for a kid who's too young to understand the fatalism of it all.

And you'd have a pretty fun time. So yeah, I'm going to go

six for the Christmas toy. I mean, there's something about 80s kids, though, the resilience of 80s, 90s kids.
We watched some pretty bleak stuff. We had the funny thing, never-ending story.

And we still turned out like selfish pieces of shit. So, you know, whatever.
TV shows that existed only to sell you toys. Of course, yes.
And cheese in this case.

Poison cheese. I feel like Christmas is the cheese season.
Like, what other, you can't eat cheese in the summer. No, that's true.
That's not a summer food. It is a winter food.
Yeah.

Listen. That's me.

We could sit here and debate. all night whether cheese is a winter food or a summer food.
It'd be a good use of everyone's time.

But But we want to do some plugging. We want to hear a little bit more about Have Yourself, a movie Little Christmas.
And anything else you want to talk about, Alonzo?

Sure. Yeah.
So it is, again, my revised and updated film guide. Look for the beautiful new red cover.
I'm much more happy with the way it looks now than what the first did.

And it's anywhere you buy books.

I'm finding in talking to other authors that, you know, bookstores are not always on top of what's going on. So if you want to get it online, get it online.
It's cool. It's great.

And, you know, that way you're guaranteed to find the thing. But wherever you buy books or wherever library you go to, like, ask for it by name.
Please check it out.

And hey, why not listen to my podcast?

My husband, Dave White, and I have been doing Linoleum Knife for 15 years. We're both film critics and we review new movies.

You can also hear me on Breakfast All Day on YouTube with Christy Lemire, right here on the Maximum Fun Network on Maximum Film with Kevin Avery and Drea Clark.

And I pop in to deck the hallmark periodically to talk about Christmas movies there as well. I am Alonzo.Doraldi on Instagram, A.
Doraldi on Blue Sky, and the easiest person on earth to Google.

Okay.

Emily, anything to plug?

I'm going to always plug Phlegm gems, especially for the holidays.

My little jewelry store that I have on Etsy, I'm hoping to start a Squarespace store. I know Etsy, there's some AI content.

We're all a little worried about that, but please don't penalize the small businesses and creators that exist on there because there's nowhere else for them to go on platforms and stuff.

So it's the holiday season. A little bit, let's give people some grace.

But I'll be on there. I am planning to, if you want to email me at Flemilygems at gmail, I'm very interested in your small businesses that exist on Etsy or anywhere else.

And I would would love to do some fun little posts and ads. So if you could send me a link to what you're doing, I might want to post about it.
So please do that. All right.

Phlegm gems for all your holiday jewel jewelry needs.

Matt Lee, anything got? Get it, get up, yep.

Don't mind if I get it.

You know what I was going to do? I'm just making noises, okay?

Everyone, go to the ice house on December 13th, 2025,

and see me do some stand-up. I'll be there at 7:30.
That's what time the show starts, I believe. And the link will be in the description.
Okay.

Speaking of links, I got a hot new link people should check out. Have you guys heard about this hot new link? Have you guys heard about bit.ly slash cool fight? Bit.ly slash cool fight?

No, what's that link again?

Bit.ly slash cool fight. That's the one.
Okay, you remember the link? I'm going to circle back to that link. Remember the name.
Okay.

Marvel Comics.

They've just announced a new Predator comic mini-series

drawn by a bunch of talented folks who you know from the X-Men Comics and written by me, Jordan, a guy you know from this podcast. It is called Predator Bloodshed.

It is a five-issue Predator comic miniseries coming out February 25th.

It is a Predator story set in the world of an underground fighting tournament, much like Mortal Kombat. We don't have the license, so it's a Mortal Kombat-like tournament with the Predator.

Kind of feels like Wolverine should exist in there, though, I gotta say. But you know, Predator has fought the Meteor somewhere else.
What?

I know. Oh, Meteora.
Can we get the license to Meteora? Of course you can. It is not copyrighted.
Right. Meteora is public domain.

by design. She can fight Winnie the Pooh in one of those weird horror movies.

But no. Predator Bloodshed.
It's five issues. It comes out February 25th.
You can put it on your poll list at your local comic book store. This is my first mini-series with Marvel.

It is very exciting. I love the Predator.
He's our favorite thick guy, our favorite hear me out.

And you can get it at your local comic book store or

you go to bit.ly slash cool fight and you can get all five issues delivered to your house and autographed by me. We're doing it through a cool store called Collector's Paradise.

Bit.ly slash cool fight. You pre-order it.
Collector's Paradise. I'll ship them right to you.
Signed by me. Okay.

Alonzo, thank you so much for being here. You're the coolest.
We appreciate your facts and your

very great pleasure. Lovely to hang out with you guys.
And

seriously, I don't even know what to do with the honor of being your first repeat guest.

I hope it happens again. Yes.

I think that maybe Christmas is your time.

It might be. Maybe it's Alonso time.

All right. Alonzo, you locked yourself into six other episodes this year.
Yeah.

Yeah, Alonzo, thank you so much for being here. And of course, tune in next week when our movie will be Santa Jaws.

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