Honest Convo About Anxiety | Girls Gone Bible

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What's up, bro?

What's up, Yuj?

Yuj.

Hey, guys, I'm Ange.

And I'm Arr.

And this is Girls Gone Bible.

We are a faith-based podcast where we talk all things: spirituality, mental health, relationships, specifically, and most importantly, we talk about Jesus.

We love our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Yeah, we're obsessed with him.

Any other thoughts?

We love him so much.

We love him.

And we love you guys.

We love you guys.

What's up, you guys?

We're here for a little fun convo

around anxiety.

But before we get to that, can we please talk about the Boston show?

And did you see that comment that

I got on my photo?

Read it.

Okay, so first of all, something happened at the Boston show that has never happened before.

So

obviously, like Ari and I both believe in the manifest presence of God.

We believe in the glory of God.

We believe in Jesus manifesting himself on earth in a way that, like, it can come up in so many different ways.

You can, it can be a feeling, it can be a sense.

Sometimes people laugh uncontrollably.

Sometimes people sob uncontrollably.

And it's like getting touched by the presence of God.

And it's something that's so intense.

And I think sometimes at a lot of churches, like we love the Holy Spirit so much.

I'm obsessed with the Holy Spirit.

Um, and there are some churches,

this is what they say, like in church talk, where like some churches quench the Holy Spirit, like they don't let the Holy Spirit move the way that He wants to because it can be like uncomfortable sometimes,

you know, and like really disrupt.

Like, sometimes the Holy Spirit wants us to worship for the entire time, and the pastor not even gives a message.

Yeah, like I remember one of the first times I saw a pastor, it was Stephanie at one.

The first time I really saw a pastor like yield to the spirit is she let us worship.

Something so significant was happening in the room.

Like I was losing, like losing it, getting touched, getting transformed.

Like in a moment, but like everybody in the room felt it.

And Stephanie was like humble enough to be and like discerning enough to be aware of it and say, I'm not even going to preach today.

I know.

You know,

she let us worship for two hours and then like spoke for like 10 minutes.

She's incredible.

You know what I mean?

So it takes a lot of humility and just like maturity, I think.

And

so on tour, Ari and I's like biggest wish is always that just the Lord would really manifest himself, like that he would come, that the Holy Spirit would be in the room, that Jesus would be in the room.

That's what people always say to us about tour, that like Jesus was in the room.

You feel the Holy Spirit in the room.

Like it is very obvious.

It's very evident.

And Ari and I's prayer is always like, Jesus, disrupt our plans, disrupt our plans, do whatever you want to, make it uncomfortable, move.

Like sometimes people quench the Holy Spirit because when he comes and he moves, it just, it can be uncomfortable.

And so before Boston, I was like, all right, I am really coming to you this time and I'm really asking you, like, make yourself known tonight.

And Ari and I have this part in the night where we both basically tell our testimonies.

And I get to the part where I talk about how Jesus supernaturally delivered me from alcohol.

And

as I'm speaking, it wasn't even like I was like overly emotional in my testimony.

I was like connected, of course, but when you're on stage, it's always, there's always, do you agree with me?

There's always a level in which like you're in it and you connect to Jesus, of course, and you're very much like, like you let God take over you, let him speak.

But there's always this sense of like you're in front of people, like in a way, like, and I've just been dying to break out of that.

Like, I've been dying.

And in a moment, I'm literally like, I get to the part where I say, like, Jesus supernaturally delivered me from alcohol.

And as the words are coming out of my mouth, they become so real to me.

And I get like shocked by what I'm saying.

And I get hit on stage in front of 1,500 people with the manifest presence of God.

I start uncontrollably sobbing on stage.

Which was my favorite part.

It was not even like.

It was amazing to see that moment for you.

It was crazy because like I, it's almost like you like, I wouldn't want that to happen.

I don't want to uncontrollably sob in front of people.

I'm trying to get it together.

And everybody stands up and is screaming like, Jesus,

like Jesus literally stepped in the room and made himself known.

Like he interrupted and said, I'm here and everybody's going to stop and acknowledge it.

It was the most insane thing.

That was a favorable moment.

That was my favorite moment of that night.

It was

seeing you.

I was like, I wish somebody could have videotaped that because you had to see my face.

I was like,

it was crazy.

Because I know you, when you get touched by God, everyone gets.

touched by God differently, but I know for you specifically, you do this laughing thing

and then it follows up with a cry.

and so I'm sitting there and I'm like yes

it was like my whole family was there so I'm like yes I need everyone to see this moment it was so special and so that was a really that was a really special moment for me and then so somebody commented on

I don't know if you saw this but like

Praise God for what he did in a city like Boston on a Friday night.

So I'm on the phone with Will and Will Hart and Moosey, his wife.

And Will's actually from Boston.

He is.

Yeah, he's from Boston.

Will's.

We didn't know.

I know.

Will's from Boston.

Why didn't we just talk about that?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I thought I was talking about that.

I had no idea he was from Boston.

God, I love that guy.

He's the greatest.

So I'm telling him about the night and just everything that happened.

And he's telling me, he's like, I need you to understand something.

He goes, Boston, not just Boston, like the whole Northeast.

The most fun thing about tour for us, you guys, is the fact that there is a different spiritual reality in every every city city in every region like God will speak to both of us upon arriving somewhere like put something on our hearts like we have a heavy conviction on like this is what we need to talk about this is what these people need this is their issue and Will was telling me like Boston is so shut Oh yeah and that's not to say that people are there are hungry people people hungry for Jesus but the whole northeast they're tough so much brokenness so tough stubborn yeah super stubborn and just shut and they're not some

they're not maybe as open as like the Bible belt is in the South.

They don't have like as much of a spiritual understanding.

And so I'm telling him everything that happens in Boston.

And I tell him this.

So someone says, praise God for what he did in a city like Boston on a Friday night.

All of God's children left the theater and you heard people just shouting, Jesus is king.

My friend and I went and evangelized to some people who accepted Jesus into their hearts and were receptive to the Holy Spirit.

A light expelled in, sorry, a light expelled in the spirit and softened the hearts of people.

Truly a beautiful night.

We've honestly, it was the most beautiful night, and the response we got was unbelievable.

It couldn't have been more perfect.

Multiple people said that about how people were leaving the theater, yet just chanting, Jesus is king in a city like Boston, like in a city in the north.

Like,

that is insane.

That is insane insane that people's hearts were so set on

i know it's i i said too i said i because we had been praying i like boston was like one of the biggest nights just because it's where my hometown that's

i know the brokenness i know i know what that city carries but i know how hungry people are and how real they are passionate and just like

people from

like I've never been more proud to say that I'm from Boston like I'm just so proud because it's like

it's just such an unbelievable city with people that have been through so much that would die for you that are just we're just we faced a different battle but that's why we're so loyal and good and you know you're from the east coast too and i just believe that god is gonna do something so massive specifically in boston there's gonna be such a beautiful revival sorry go ahead no it's true a revival And

we really want to build something there.

So

I'm just like, I'm praying on it, but we really want to start building something really cool there in the future.

I think Tor has just opened us up to, we never really let you guys in, I feel like, on to tour.

So we just did 25.

That was our 25th show.

They're meetings.

They're revival nights.

They're not a show.

There's nothing showy about it.

But we did 25.

I like that meeting.

The Christian meetings.

That's what they're called.

Yeah.

It's cool.

But,

and there's just something about

the apostolic nature, which is basically you going,

and it's like not, you're not doing just like local ministry at a local church.

That's like building one

environment in one place and one church.

Apostolic ministry is like going around to different places, different regions, different cities, and establishing a culture there.

And I think there's something about Tor that has like lit up an apostolic just drive for me.

And I think for you too, where like I love the idea of going to different places where people don't know Jesus or they don't know how to follow Jesus.

And then you just like help them establish a culture

and you help disciple people and you put things in place and potentially plant church.

I have no idea.

I like, I need to get discipled, so I don't know.

I'm like,

I just got hit by that.

But

we have big dreams and really big dreams.

We're like, we get a help on.

No.

Yeah.

It's just so funny how I think for both of us, so much is changing in our hearts.

We're like

public ministry is the best.

It's the greatest.

We love being on a podcast, but the closer you get to Jesus, the more your heart begins to burn for the things of the church, the things that are less entertainment.

And like, there's so much value in entertainment-ish stuff like this, like social media.

But yeah, it's just, I think for both Ari and I, and hold us to this in a couple of months, I think God is really going to start speaking to both of us in the next couple of months of like, our calling is to follow Jesus and to evangelize.

And like,

I think the vehicle in which we do that is just, he's just going to start really speaking like, this is what you guys are supposed to do.

This is the route you're supposed to take.

Because we always talk about this.

We're like, what are we going to do?

Are we going to go do missions in other

Are we going to do social media?

Are we going to plant a local, like be in the local church?

I don't know.

It's just,

the world is our oyster.

I know.

Sometimes when we're on stage, too, I'm like, do you ever feel like this?

I'm like,

did I say enough to bring them to Jesus?

Oh, yeah.

And I used to feel like that.

I sometimes will feel like that because sometimes we don't have time to hit all the points.

And I'm like, no, we're planting the seed.

We're planting the seed.

Like, there's, there's, it's okay.

Like, as long as you're doing something, showing them the love of God, you're doing enough.

Oh, yeah.

So, just it's just a reminder to always plant the seed.

You don't have to say too much.

You don't have to say too little.

Just plant the seed of Jesus.

Yeah.

And the thing about Tor is like, I think what it is most of all, since it is like a revival night, that's what's, that's what's happening.

It's like you, oh, sorry.

Oh, you, um,

develop, you establish an environment where like it's true worship of Jesus.

And when people are truly worshiping Jesus in a room and when people are talking about Jesus and reading from the word of God, everybody's hearts begin to

set ablaze for Jesus.

Like that's what it is.

Like the nights that we do tour,

it's not a show.

It's literally an hour and a half of an opportunity to set people's hearts on fire for Jesus.

Yeah, it's really special.

It's been a,

it's been quite a gift, quite a gift, very hard.

The hardest thing we've ever done.

I loved when we were on, we were about to go on stage.

I don't know which night it was, but I was like, you ready to go?

Because me and her, we just like, it's like we lose all strength right before we go on there.

And she's like, yep, let's go on that battlefield.

I was like, okay.

Come on, let's go to that.

Let's go to battlefield.

Get on your arm.

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What's coming up in June?

And

really excited.

We are releasing our 31-day devotional called Out of the Wilderness, 31 Devotions.

I'll put it on the screen right here.

You guys, Ari and I wrote a devotional and it was the

craziest, one of the the craziest things that we've done and we truly poured our hearts and our souls blood blood blood sweat and tears into this devotional it's

it's more than just a devotional it's really it really is our hearts on paper it's like everything we've been through um we hit so many different topics that i our point in this book was that like anybody who reads this is no matter who it is whatever their situation might be at that moment is probably talked about within these 31 devotionals because we just went from like everything in our lives.

It's so true.

And so we tell personal stories through the lens of the life of Jesus and a biblical perspective.

And it's obviously all about Jesus.

And it's just about how to navigate the wilderness season and just the hard things that you go through in life that we all go through.

And Ari and I talk about things that other people sometimes shy away from, and you know us.

So here you go.

Yep, we really

don't tell me we don't leave everything out.

So you guys can pre-order your book at girlsgonebible.com/slash book.

And you can also get your tickets for the tour that we were just talking about at girlsgonebible.com/slash tour.

Gosh, we want to see you guys in person so bad.

So Ari and I really wanted to come and have a conversation today around anxiety because I read something the other day that said that anxiety is the number one health issue in America.

And R and I have both both had very long journeys with anxiety.

We both actively battle anxiety at some times.

And we'll get into that.

But I just want to preface this by saying we're not doctors.

We're not psychiatrists.

I'm so sorry.

Obviously, picturing us in little doctor outfits walking in that bear.

Take this.

What is that?

The shot.

Oh,

you know, we're not doctors.

We're not experts.

This is strictly our experience, what we've done, what's helped us.

And I just want to say too that, like, we believe in spirituality and practicality both together.

We don't think that you can have practicality, or you, we don't think you can be spiritual without having practicality, and we don't think that you can just be practical without including spirituality.

And when it comes to mental health, anxiety, mental illness, it is

definitely a spiritual thing.

However, it's not just demons attacking your mind.

There's obviously a psychological and physiological aspect to anxiety and stuff like this.

But we also don't just believe that it's psychological.

We believe that Jesus is very much involved in mental health.

And Jesus experienced anxiety.

Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane,

when Jesus was sweating blood, that was anxiety.

anxiety that was anxiety induced he was sweating blood because of the the deep anguish that he was experiencing in himself and you read the Psalms and you know the Lord is consistently speaking by the Spirit about his sorrow his anguish his deep deep anxiety and fear that he experienced and so I love that you said that about Jesus

It's something that really comforts me a lot, knowing that he was so so stressed out to the point of sweating blood.

And he, he went through that too.

So he understands because

through my journey, I've been like, oh my gosh, is this a sin?

Is this a sin that I'm so anxious and I'm struggling with doubt and all these things?

And my OCD with my, you know, trying to be so good and lead people.

And I have so many of you people that I carry in my moments of such anxiety and fear, I'm like, oh my gosh, am I sinning?

Am I, I'm so sorry that I'm doubting you, God.

And I think about that story of him

just being in anguish

and

just having that moment with such anxiety.

So it just comforts me so much knowing that he really does understand because he felt it too.

He says, cast your anxieties onto me because I care for you.

That's what he says.

Cast your anxiety onto me.

That means give me your anxiety.

Give me your worry.

Give me your fear.

Leave every.

And you do that through prayer.

You do that through repentance.

And you do that through

agreement and like verbally just coming into agreement that I give this to you.

You take it and you help me.

I love that you say the cast your cares on me because that's something I repetitive.

repetitively would read all the time.

And it was something that I had a hard time understanding when I first started reading it because I'm like, okay, like, okay, I'll cast my cares on you, but I still have anxiety.

Like, how do I do that?

And I don't know, during my journey, I just realized it's like, when you're having a panic attack, you're like, I can't handle this.

Help me.

Yeah.

Like, I say this all the time, but it's like.

It's seriously what freed me, like being a little girl and being like, I cannot handle this.

I can't carry this.

What do I do?

Exactly.

Like screaming out, crying out, being like, I can't take this anymore.

Like, my heart is so broken.

I'm like getting crushed with grief.

Like, take it.

Please help me.

Like, fervently going to him and being like, help me, help me, crying out.

When I think about,

it's so funny.

I was just thinking about this because we've been, when you text me on the plane,

I just thought about so much when

I was dealing with my anxiety and it wasn't that it just went away.

It was that I just kept showing up at that little Catholic church on my hands and knees and was like, please, like I kept going.

I kept asking.

I kept seeking.

I kept crying out.

And some days it would look like hours and hours of it.

But that's the when you keep going and you keep, you don't give up, you keep knocking, you keep, you just keep fighting with him.

It doesn't mean that all of a sudden it goes away.

It just means that he cares for you and he's helping you through it and he's developing you through it it's it's like an invitation like you have to invite the lord into it you have to invite jesus into it because he can't heal whatever you've and like i said it last week where i was like sometimes anxiety will make me turn away from god because i just it makes me like harden up every time i'm anxious i get super hard and i like almost ice god out in a way when that is the number one time where i have to open myself up fully and be like, I need you to come in.

But anxiety causes us to turn away so much, numb out, avoid all the things.

I think what I really,

what was on my heart for this was like anxiety, first of all, okay, our brains can be so interesting.

Our brains can be so scary.

When your mind feels like a dangerous place to live, That's so scary.

And so many people experience that where they feel unsafe in their own thoughts.

They feel unsafe.

Their anxiety is making them feel unsafe.

And anxiety can make you feel crazy.

Anxiety can make you feel like something is really, really wrong with you.

And I think I've told this story before, but I remember the first time I ever talked to a therapist.

I talked to her one time.

I've never been good at being consistent with counseling, but

I tell her what I'm feeling and all she says to me is, that's so normal.

This is what it's called.

So many people experience it.

I was free in a second.

It did not have as much power.

It wasn't happening as much afterwards because somebody just told me that I am not alone.

Like anxiety will make you feel like you're the only person in the world who feels like this.

Anxiety is so isolating.

If you have social anxiety and you're going out places and you're going, hanging out with friends and you're having all of these thoughts running through your mind and you're super in your head and soup, who else, like you know when you get in your head when you're in public or when you're with people it's the worst feeling in the world you feel so isolated you can feel so awkward you can feel so

it's just horrible that's happened to me i used to struggle with that so so much and a lot of my anxiety manifested physically that happened to me a lot so

I grew up in an environment where like, so any Eastern Europeans or really any foreign people, we all know like growing up in a foreign household is the greatest thing it is the best the best the best um

and a lot of the time like albanians for example they're super tough like they are they're like from the east like so tough they're so resilient they're such survivors and it's the most beautiful thing in the world but there is this mentality of just like keep going push forward don't acknowledge it it's all good just keep going and like you never acknowledge any sort of pain you never acknowledge

I remember my mom would always tell me she she she couldn't understand anxiety because she's like we she's like we never had anxiety and I'd be like I think you you guys you your generation did but you just didn't ever know how to put words to it nobody ever talked about it and such a different time they just such a different they didn't deal with it yeah yeah and so So I grew up in this environment that like, you don't acknowledge things, you don't, so that's where I learned to avoid and to stuff and to numb and to escape but I always say this that like because I avoided so much because I never processed anything because I stuffed everything down like everything that my mind suppressed my body stored in itself and so everything I experienced came out as physical anxiety a racing heart

for me I get super hot I get super dizzy and I just get this over I get really bad chest pain and that's something that I'm battling currently since being, since traveling so much, I am battling really bad chest pain.

If anybody would like to pray for me for that, I am so tired of my chest getting so tight that I feel like I'm going to die.

And this is real.

Like this is still somebody who is wholeheartedly following Jesus, no habitual sin, everybody sins, but no habitual sin, no tolerating sin.

And I'm still battling this for various different reasons, you know?

And then so,

yeah, my vision gets blurry, my body gets hot, and it's just the worst feeling in the world.

And I, you know, used to deal with such bad panic attacks.

And Ari's watched me go through panic, a couple of panic attacks since being friends.

And it's like so sad, right?

It's like so scary.

But imagine I used to experience that from 20, from 19 to like 24, 25.

I experienced a panic attack all day long, every single day for almost five years, like consistently.

That's why I started drinking.

I started to self-medicate with alcohol.

And so I was,

it was just the worst thing.

It was so, so scary, you know?

Are you, so like right now,

what do you think the cause?

I have so many questions.

I'm sorry.

I want.

I want to, can I just go back a little bit?

The first question I wanted to ask you was your social anxiety.

Do you still struggle with that?

And

how have you overcome that?

What tools do you do to,

you know, a lot of people deal with this stuff

to the point where they don't even want to go out of the house.

I even have moments where I'm such an extrovert that I'm like, I can't.

An introvert.

An introvert that I'm like, if I'm around a lot of people, I get overstimulated.

For sure.

And that causes a lot of anxiety.

So what, what do you, you know?

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

um

ari and i are really similar in that way that like we love people so much we for sure get charged being with people i love being with people and talking to people and i'm equally such an introvert that like

when i used to have really bad social anxiety i mean i

would

so I think I've fought being an introvert for a long time because extroverts just like, they thrive in society, you know, and like we live in a world where being extroverted is like, it's a good, like, it's a good thing.

And so I always fought being introverted, but I've really come to the conclusion that like, I really believe I'm a person who's meant to spend a lot of time alone with God, you know?

Like I really have settled into that where I used to not be like that.

That's why I would drink to like do things.

I used to, when I was drinking, I would like,

I couldn't go if we weren't drinking because I had such bad social anxiety.

Wow.

And I didn't even know what what it was exactly.

Mine really came from, I was just anxious all the time.

And so I didn't want to be around people.

And then I had a phobia of panic attacks.

That's literally what panic disorder is.

I would be with people.

I'd be at a dinner and then it'd start happening.

My body would get hot.

I'd start to get dizzy.

And then I'm super in my head thinking I'm about to have a panic attack.

And that would give me so much social anxiety.

But what were the thoughts that were coming through your mind?

Like, what do you think the root cause of the panic attacks were?

Do you feel inadequate?

Do you feel like you didn't have an identity?

You didn't know how to act?

Like, what was the cause of that?

So, the panic attacks are, I think, where it was really unprocessed trauma and pain, just like making its way out.

Yeah, manifesting.

Yeah.

And then, social anxiety probably came from just a deep lack of self-worth.

I think I

always struggled with small talk.

And so it'd be really hard for me to, like, I always loved meeting new people and I loved being with people.

But I,

yeah, I would just battle insecurity and I would battle this feeling of, I remember when it was really bad.

And I do believe that this is truly just an attack from Satan because there's really no rhyme or reason for it.

I would get this social anxiety of like, what are we going to talk about?

Instead of just like letting,

instead of just being like,

just let the conversation go like it's okay if there's a silence don't have to fill it you don't have to talk I would be like what are we gonna talk about because you're like are they not gonna like me will I talk

you know yeah

yeah overanalyzing how somebody else feels in a situation it's just this feeling of being in your head yeah oh it's just the worst instead of just freely being like and in relationship with Jesus there is boldness and there's confidence that comes naturally.

And there is something that comes from your identity being in Jesus that you become solidified and you are no longer,

you are no longer so insecure.

And specifically, you're no longer thinking about yourself so much.

You really start to follow Jesus.

You fall in love with people and being there for people.

So now when I'm with people, I'm oftentimes looking at them being like, what do they need?

Like, are they good?

What are they thinking?

Or I'm just having a good time.

Yeah.

You know?

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What do you have social anxiety?

Um,

yeah, sometimes, of course.

Um, I especially had a lot of social anxiety in the Christian world.

I was like, oh, I'm when they started speaking to Christianes, and you're like,

I'm gonna say, they're looking at me like I'm, you know, I don't know, from the hood.

I don't know.

Like, I just never felt, I didn't feel like I had it.

You were wearing a bow in your air and Chanel shoes and figures.

You know, I opened my mouth.

i'm just this like boston big mouth

you know but i love it yeah of course i think we all struggle with

social anxiety and you want to i don't know you want to be liked you want to be yeah you want to be liked you want to you want to feel comfortable in the conversation i also have i have moments where i i'm like I feel stupid.

I'm like, I don't know.

I'm like,

oh, me too.

You know, when you're at a dinner and you can't stop saying the wrong thing,

sometimes I'll get anxious and it'll make me start talking a lot.

And then I'll like consistently say the wrong thing and take jokes too far and like stop talking.

It's really bad.

No, I was just going to ask you, your anxiety and panic attacks, you know, they both go together.

At this phase of your life,

have you pinpointed where it's stemming from or

just like, yeah, where it's it's coming from?

Because I know it's probably a lot different from when you were younger.

100%.

Well,

you realize over time that like

I have a preconceived, preconceived, I have a

predisposition to

anxiety.

I have family members who deal with the same thing.

You can see the way that it's trickled down.

Like you can see where it comes from.

And

when I'm far from Jesus, that's my default.

So, right, I'm supernaturally delivered from alcohol, and then my anxiety gets healed over time through my relationship with Jesus, through abiding and, you know, spending time with Jesus.

through reading the word and letting the word of God renew my mind and transform

everything about my mind and my brain and my thought patterns.

The more you read the Bible, the less your mind will go to fear.

The more you read the Bible, the less your mind will go to anxiety.

This is what happens.

Like you start to live, breathe, and think scripture.

And everything about scripture is hope because God is the God of hope.

So if you renew your mind with scripture, your mind will always immediately go to, not always, but it will begin to go to hope rather than fear.

Whereas, so when I'm away from God,

my default is fear and anxiety, and amongst many other things, insecurity and all the issues.

But

so

one thing that's different is, I mean, obviously my relationship with Jesus, but I remember when I was having really bad panic attacks, and this is something I wanted to talk to you guys about, is the way we treat our bodies and our minds is crucial.

When I was drinking and when I was vaping, obviously I had anxiety.

If you're smoking cigarettes and you're vaping and you're doing all, if you're smoking weed, like of course your mental health is not going to be good and I don't care what anybody says I don't care if somebody clips this and calls us dorks it's the truth you will not have good mental health nobody's going to tell me that smoking weed is good for your mental health like I know it's not.

And smoking and vaping and drinking, if you're struggling with your mental health, these are the very practical first steps to take is removing anything like this because it's all destroying your body i remember when i used to vape like it was i would start shaking like it you're filling your body with nicotine like something is that what it is nicotine yeah like you're not supposed to have that in your body your your lungs are supposed to take in air but they're taking smoke instead like that's you're killing yourself yeah and so

like treating your body is right is everything and so Recently, with all the travel with Tor,

you know, pouring out in ministry, being in ministry is you're in a spiritual battle.

This isn't, it's not like a glamorous thing where, you know,

and it's beautiful and it's the greatest gift.

And equally, anybody who's in ministry knows that like it's a spiritual, it's spiritual warfare.

Yeah.

And so that's how I get attacked is by through anxiety.

And like

this past weekend, we're on tour.

They're very intense, beautiful nights, but they're incredibly intense and I am am incredibly vulnerable after.

So much so to I'm almost like not well fully, if I'm being completely honest.

And you do everything you can to self-soothe and let Jesus come in and comfort you, but it's like a it's a major battle.

And so I am constantly combating.

this chest pain and panic attacks because I'm not always sleeping right.

Traveling so much takes a lot out of you.

So you see what I mean when you're not, and it's not that I'm not treating my body right, but there are external factors that are having an effect on the way that I feel.

And so, if you're not treating your body right, if you're not exercising, you guys, if you're not moving your body, if you are not sleeping right, if you're not eating enough, that's another thing that makes me anxious.

When I begin to starve myself and not

treat my body right in the way that I nourish my body, I will start having panic attacks because I'm not treating my body correctly, you know?

Yeah.

Do you ever experience that?

Oh, gosh.

Do I and

um

yeah, just listening to you.

I mean, we're both going through this together.

Um, thanks for sharing that.

That's

it's it's

it's crazy.

It's like it's been this battle for the both of us with our minds.

And yeah, I

the only way I can describe my

journey since finding Jesus, because I've battled with anxiety my whole life,

the only way to describe it, it's like I'm in my 30s and I

like I'm a woman, right?

But I've truly have reverted back to like a little girl.

Like it's insane.

Like I have, I feel like I'm, I've said this in another episode, but I am truly like a little girl again, having to

unlearn so much, unlearn thought patterns,

unlearned ways of coping,

unlearning like

I'm seeing so much in myself that needs to change and that God has to work on that I have been accustomed to since my whole life.

And so unlearning these thought patterns, I mean

with my anxiety, I think everybody deals with anxiety in a different way.

Like, you deal with it in a completely different way than I do.

Yeah.

When I get anxiety, I like mine comes out where I spiral.

Everybody, this is very much thought-based, right?

Everything's thought-based.

Everybody becomes a threat that's close to me, that's near me.

I completely freeze in my chest.

I actually don't know what's going on and I don't know how to process anything.

And so I will have outburst.

And

it's been something that God has really,

he's really been working on in my heart.

And it's, I've been going through a lot of shame with it because it can come off that I'm actually like,

I've had moments of being like, do I even have a good heart?

That the people around me, I just like,

I'm like, get away from me.

Or like, I can't talk about this right now.

And I completely like go, go cold.

And

it's been super hard.

Like Angela said,

doing ministry, this is all so new.

And it's just the biggest blessing,

but equally so hard.

It is.

more costly than anybody could imagine.

And I have, and I'll tell you, I've had moments of being like,

you do not deserve to feel like

you should, like, you should not feel like this.

Like, this is amazing.

Like, you know, but I'm like, but I'm sorry.

It feels heavy.

And I don't know what's going on at times.

I don't know what I'm feeling.

I mean, I can't tell you guys.

I've had moments where I'm like, I don't know what I'm feeling.

And I'm actually really scared.

And like

some nights I'll like get to my room and I'll I'll feel like my whole body is.

I didn't mean to get emotional, but

like

I know.

Yeah, like, I'm so sorry.

I'm so embarrassed.

This is so helpful.

Yeah, I'm going through so much,

so much right now.

And as like a 30-year-old woman, it's like, I have such moments of feeling so embarrassed because I'm like, God, shouldn't you have it together?

Shouldn't you know how to navigate these things?

But I've never known how to, I've never known how to deal with this stuff.

And I've never been taught how to deal with my feelings or anxiety.

And

I've been having a really hard time lately processing

what's going on

inside.

Yeah, it's been a hard time to express what I've been going through, but it's been really hard.

I remember when I had my breakdown of when I lost everything and I found Jesus, I would go in there and talk to him for hours, but lately, my first default is not to pray.

And I think that's one of the gifts that you have is you just you've always had the gift of faith you've always like every time something would happen

with us you'd be like can I pray for you or let's pray and I mean there have been moments where I'm like no I don't want to

so normal yeah so many people feel that way it's more common to feel like that than to have the desire to pray yeah a hundred percent yeah it is right yeah I swear this is so helpful yeah these people probably feel so much shame

I have too.

I have felt a lot of shame because,

I mean, even you, you've been like, oh, no, we're going to pray.

And I'm like, no, I don't want to.

Why can't I?

And so my first default is just to run and panic and just like

lose control because that's what I have always done as a kid.

And so.

God's been doing a work in me.

He really has.

I've been unlearning so many things.

He's, he's really brought me to a place of humility and

working through things with him.

It was so funny.

The other night I was really struggling with anxiety.

My little sister came to a couple of the shows that we went to, and it's been so great because My sister's a little bit stuck in her way.

She's 11 years younger than me, and so she's really watching me.

She hasn't really seen all this spirituality stuff.

She's learning it.

I love it.

I can't so much.

She loves you.

And so,

you just sounded like her.

I did.

I know.

We're just alike.

And, and so I was having a moment and then I, I had called a couple people and I said, hey, and I didn't even know my sister could hear me.

And I was like,

hey, I, I really, do you think that you could pray for with me right now?

And I just like closed my eyes.

I had two people just pray over me and stuff.

And I look over and my sister is bawling her eyes out.

And she's like,

I can't believe you.

She's like, I mean, my sister has seen me through every single walk of my life of just like,

just every single season of my life.

And so this was never who I was.

I was someone who would just like panic and go in my dark room and dwell.

And now she's, and she saw that moment of me doing that.

And she's like, look at you.

Look at how, look at how far you've come.

You were a girl who like never knew how to deal with feelings, who had to live in survival mode your whole life, and you're just like learning all this stuff on your own, and you're calling people to pray for you.

She's like, That was the most beautiful thing and moment I've ever seen, and I'm so proud of you.

So, I had a lot of

breakthroughs this past weekend, and

I've had my family really help me see myself.

I think

with my anxiety, you just need people.

You need, you need prayer and you need to, when you want to fight against prayer, that's the time you need to go into prayer and you need people.

Call somebody.

You have to have people.

And I know that is so hard when you are in anxiety because the first, your first defense mechanism is, let me take a pill and

ice out.

Let me go in my room and sleep.

Let me like, let me like go to a fleeting pleasure.

Let me go to a a device.

Let me go to something to like mask that anxiety.

I know that's what I did.

Yeah.

But

yeah.

People that love you, like going to people, therapy has,

I don't, I hear a lot of mixed things from Christians of being like, oh no, I like, I actually hear Christians say that you should go to God and not therapy.

I've heard that a lot.

Therapy has helped me unlearn and get to the root of like

so much

of what I, why I act the way I act, why I'm avoidant in my feelings, why I'm doing certain things that are out of pocket.

Like they're really helping me go deep into when I was a child because I don't even know why I do the things that I do.

We don't know.

And so they help you go back and they, they dig deep and they, they help you navigate.

Yeah.

Can I just say

therapy so I've been going to counseling

um

recently and I'm not kidding like I'm truly not kidding you guys it has changed my life it has changed the course of my life and it hasn't even been that much it's not really like I've been doing this for a long time but having someone to talk to who can speak sense and truth into what you're feeling.

And just to go off what Ari's saying, as a girl, finding spiritual mothers has changed the course of my life.

I don't know how I would, I do.

Actually, I was walking with Jesus with not that much transformation in my life because I didn't have mentors and I didn't have anybody to guide me.

Having spiritual moms, guys, finding spiritual dads, you find these people in church, you find these people, not just friends who tell you what you want to hear and tell you that you're amazing.

My spiritual moms, the women that I talk to, every conversation that I have always ends with what I'm going do, what I need to do better.

I can literally come to them with an issue about somebody, and like it's the other person's not even a part of the conversation.

It's incredible because we don't need people just like making us feel like we need people who can speak truth and life over our situation.

And like, you have to find people who are older, who have walked with Jesus for a long time and who've been through what you've been through and can see things from like an overview.

Like, this is why you're feeling this way.

This is why you're triggered.

This is why you're anxious, and this is how we're going to deal with it.

Yeah, you know, yeah, or even like friends that you've had since you were just a kid that know you, that

understand, know your patterns, yeah, know your patterns and stuff.

Yeah, so that's where I'm what I, what I'm walking through right now, and understanding what triggers my anxiety.

Why, there's, there's like a, there's always a route to like,

um, why you, why you're going through

certain things

so much.

I don't know.

I mean, we could go, yeah, like, yeah,

I

self-blame a lot, like to the point where

I've been trying to get to the root of it lately, but I believe that's what's causing a lot of my anxiety.

And I think God

is really working through that with me right now.

And it goes back to when I'm a kid.

It was always my fault.

So I just always had this perception that it was always my fault.

And I would always self-blame.

Self-blaming has

caused an immense amount of anxiety.

Keeping things in and not talking things out right away

creates so much anxiety.

And so I'm just trying lately, like my anxiety has gotten so much better.

It's like actually insane.

I can't believe like when I laid my life down, when I took sin out, when I

just started like the forgiveness, not having a heart and heart, like all these things are so correlated to anxiety.

But lately, for me, it's like the self-blaming, like the fear of abandonment.

Yeah, for sure.

And then when I don't go to someone right away and talk things out, and when there is this like barrier between me and someone,

I almost cannot sleep at night.

I'm sick, like I, or when I feel like it's my fault, I will live in condemnation and shame for weeks.

And I cannot, it is like I'm in, I'm in prison.

Yeah.

And so

this is what I'm going, walking through right now currently.

And

God is just really, yeah, God's, God's, I don't have all the answers.

I don't, I don't have this, all the solutions, but like, this is what has been causing me anxiety in this.

Yeah, season in this season of my life.

Thank you so much for sharing that.

You don't know how many people that you just freed and helped because

you have such a beautiful way of articulating what you feel.

Like you really do.

It's one of your gifts.

Like you just like, I don't know.

You just have this power.

And like so many people don't know how to heal from anxiety because they don't even know how to address it.

They don't even know how to acknowledge it.

So like Ari

finds the root and the, and the.

the problem and like the origin of why she's feeling like you just helped so many people right now

because I don't feel like that I know how to articulate so thank you you are really you are one of the most articulate people

um

yeah

I've been going through something very similar to Ari I'm having a lot of

I'm just like

I am in so much transition right now and I think I've actually never heard anybody

talk about

this

um

how difficult transition is, how much anxiety comes from transition happening in your life.

I have the greatest life ever, like literally such an amazing life.

I have everything I could ever need or want

and

it does not fix everything and, you know, it doesn't.

There's something about transition that causes you to grieve in a way that brings up every single thing that's that's in you.

If you are somebody who's transitioned out of a relationship or even into a relationship, that's both transition.

If you're about to get married or you're switching a job or you're moving to a new place, this

these things create so much anxiety.

I am dealing with such a deep level of anxiety that I am like waking.

It's this chest tightness that like for the love of God, I, it has to go and it will, and I know that it will.

And, like, this is an episode on hope.

Um, Jesus is hope, man, like, he is hope.

He's hope.

And there's hope in healing from everything because we'll go back to how we've healed from so many different things.

But, like, right now, I'm transitioning into like a beautiful part of my life.

I just moved.

I am in a relationship that's beautiful.

All of my

dynamics in my life are changing.

Everything is changing.

And it has brought up so much fear,

so much abandonment issues.

I'm just afraid all the time of things changing.

And

yeah, I'm just experiencing like a deep level of anxiety of for the future.

And like,

yeah, and like all the things, right?

I have faith.

I know Jesus is going to come through, but I just want anybody who's in a season of transition to understand because you can't really, you don't understand why you're feeling the way that you feel and if you're like me like so many dynamics in my life are changing and I realize like I've literally never not had a codependent relationship in my life codependency is I've done a I've been like learning about codependency because codependency will wreak havoc on your life.

Like codependence, codependency is like you're completely enmeshed with somebody else.

And so if one person goes this way, you go with them.

If you go that way, they come with you.

So it's this constant relationship should be like one person moves and then the other one pursues.

But there's like a choice in the pursuit.

Codependency is like you're pulling each other back and forth.

And it's just,

it's awful, honestly.

And so I'm like realizing

that,

yeah, I'm like, just like Ari, like I'm trying to learn how.

to have relationships in my life that are not based out of fear.

And I have a deep, deep, deep fear of abandonment that goes way back to my childhood and multiple things that have happened that I don't usually talk about.

But

almost all of my relationships are based out of fear in a sense, like deep love.

And then there's always fear in it, fear that they're going to leave, fear that they're not going to want you anymore, fear that you're going to be pushed out and forgotten.

Like it's so weird.

And it's so weird to be 29 years old and be like, you feel like you're in high school because you're like, why am I afraid of all the, you know what I mean?

Like,

so much shame comes along, I think, with what we feel because you're like, I'm, I'm like a full adult.

Why do I, why am I going through things that feel like, yeah, I'm in high school.

It's just, it's so crazy.

So that's what Ari and I are dealing with right now.

And all of this stuff develop, like will.

bring up anxiety and it brings up all the issues in your heart.

But the Lord is so good and he's so kind and you have to go on a journey of healing.

You have to go into the depths of your heart that you've never touched before, that you've never even seen before, that you've never let anybody else see.

And you've got to let Jesus put his finger on it and

move it and like heal it because you can't heal if you don't bring it to the light.

And I think that's what Ari and I are both experiencing.

We have moments where I think we're so overwhelmed and we're so overtaken.

We're like, spiritual warfare.

And then it's just like

Jesus is doing a deep, deep work in our hearts.

Yeah,

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It's really scary.

It hurts.

Yeah.

But you have to face yourself.

You have to.

And sometimes that looks like

you're in a pit of hell.

And it sucks having to look at everything.

But like, I know, I'm sorry, but like,

you, like, me,

I've always been, I've always had someone.

Right.

Like, whether it's a partner or a friend, I've always had like someone.

And it's like, he's like, no.

He's like, I'm, you're going to face yourself i mean the amount of tears and loneliness and just like

what i've had to endure do what i've had to endure through this time of loneliness and being alone and having to face myself and not leaning on someone has been and like being in this time of my life in my 30s where I thought I would be married and I would have someone and I want so badly.

Like I was literally looking at a video last night of a girl holding her baby and I start weeping.

I'm like,

I've never felt more of a desire that I want to have a baby in my arms, that I want to raise a child, that I want to be a mother.

Like it's something I deeply desire so much.

And so it's, it's like, it's a wrestle because I say this all the time, but,

and I'm, and I, and I struggle with it.

Like, I'm not someone like, oh my gosh, I can't believe who I am through my singleness.

Like, no, I am not this tough girl.

Like, I'm perfect.

I don't even want it anymore.

Yeah, like,

no, like, I certainly didn't get there.

I'll be fully honest.

I was like, all right, I got it.

Like, I go through

so much.

I go through days where I'm just like, but it's just, you got to do it.

You have to face yourself.

You can't lean on someone.

You have to do it with Jesus.

And it looks lonely and it's hard and it's isolating at times and it's scary and it looks unpredictable.

I can't tell you how many times I've literally looked up to Jesus, especially recently, and been like, all right, if I'm supposed to be like Paul, just equip me now.

Because at this point, I don't know.

You want me to be a nun and just get some dogs?

I don't know.

But like, it looks really really unpredictable

but one thing i will say is like i've had an epiphany where i'm like because i've looked at my life and i've seen how many years i wasted of complaining right and how he worked it all out for me i've stressed out my whole life yeah about what i'm gonna do with my life and look at what he did Oh, I heard the best thing.

I think you were with me.

What did we hear?

It says, scripture says that when you praise you gain an audience with god so imagine when you complain who you gain an audience with that's wait can you say that again when you scripture says that when you praise you gain an audience with the lord when you so imagine if you complain who you're gaining an audience with

that's really good isn't that crazy yeah that's good

um

So, so yeah, so I really, this is something I'm walking through that I'll just say real quick.

I

look at my life.

I complained my whole way through my 20s.

I'm like, why did I do that?

I missed so many amazing moments with family, with friends.

I'd be on beautiful vacations and I'd be so stressed out, I could not function.

And so, I'm like, I had this moment with Jesus where I was like,

I'm done complaining.

Like,

it's okay to feel, it's okay to mourn, but like, I do not want to look back at this season.

And I've done a really good job, so I give myself grace, but I don't want to look back in this season and be like I complained my whole way through this

and so I'm like I don't want to do that don't want to do that and so I've been really intentional about being present this is what God has me in and me complaining and me fighting and me looking back is giving me anxiety.

It's keeping me stuck.

And I do not want to end up like the Israelites because I'm telling you right now, what should have taken them 11 days, took them 40 years.

And sometimes when we keep complaining and we have that lack of faith, we stay stuck and we're just prolonging what God has for us.

And so,

yeah, just understanding where we are right now is where we are supposed to be.

And if we be on mission of where God has us, it's going to take a lot less longer.

I swear.

100%.

I think that is so helpful to everybody that an anxiety comes so much from looking at the past and from longing for the past.

And just like so much of your anxiety will stem from just being just so stuck in the past because Jesus says, press on, move forward.

We just wanted to tell you guys a few other things because I really want people to feel seen in their anxiety because so many people experience things that they don't know how to put language to, and it really removes the power of everything that you're dealing with.

When there's a name, there's a feeling, there's some way to acknowledge what you're going through.

And there was something that I experienced that when I have mentioned this before, I've had so many people be like, I cannot believe you said that.

I've never heard anybody else talk about it.

Or I can't believe that had a name.

I've experienced that.

So when I was going through.

So I got sober at 23.

And then I spent the next like a year, a year and a half healing from the anxiety and the panic attacks because while God got me sober in a moment, like I said, the healing took a while.

It took a while of prayer, deliverance, therapy, and just abiding in the presence of God.

But I was experiencing so much anxiety, so much panic, because right, I was self-medicating for all of those years.

And then all of a sudden, I don't have alcohol anymore.

I don't have anything to mask or numb what I'm feeling.

All of a sudden, all of that anxiety hits me at once.

You guys, for a year, I literally thought I was going to die or end up in the hospital because my mind was so

broken.

It was so full of fear.

It was so full of anxiety.

And I could not make sense to what was happening.

I thought I was dying all the time.

At that point, the social anxiety was like, I couldn't even sit at a dinner with people.

I was so anxious.

I couldn't look people in the eye.

I couldn't really hold a conversation.

Like, I was dealing with so much anxiety that I was freaking out, like freaking out

and

i remember i went into um a therapy session my first one and i told the lady what i was experiencing and she goes this is what it's called you're experiencing derealization and depersonalization this is a symptom of anxiety and i'm just going to read it for you guys so many people experience this it's almost like a form of disassociation in a way so depersonalization is a feeling of being detached from yourself You might feel like you're watching yourself from outside of your body or that you're not really in control of your actions or speech.

People often say, I don't feel real or I feel like I'm floating outside of myself.

I know so many people feel that way and it is the scariest thing because you really feel like you're crazy or like losing your mind.

I know how often people feel something like this.

And I just want you to know that you're safe in your body, you're safe in your mind, and you're not alone.

And then the other one, this is what I experienced, derealization is a sense that the world around you is unreal or distorted.

The environment might feel foggy, dreamlike, colorless, or like you're in a movie or behind a glass wall.

And you might think nothing around me feels real or the world feels off or unfamiliar.

And I remember the first time this ever happened to me where I, is that dere?

So that's derealization.

I was sitting in COVID, it was the height of my anxiety.

I had just gotten sober.

It's COVID, and I'm in Florida with my family.

And we're sitting around me and my family members, and we're playing a card game.

And all of a sudden, this is my mom, my brothers, my sister-in-law, my niece,

people that I've known my whole life, people, they're my family.

And all of a sudden, we're playing cards.

And I look up and I go,

I don't know them.

I lost my mind for a second I was like I don't recognize these people like I knew who they were but they felt so unfamiliar and it didn't feel real and I go outside and I start panicking because I'm like what just happened like what is that I thought I was losing my mind how many years ago was this it was probably like five years ago, five, six years ago.

No, four, five years ago.

And then after that, it would happen every once in a while.

Like I remember I was on the phone with my boyfriend at the time on FaceTime and I had the moment again where I'm looking at him and then I go,

he looks unfamiliar.

Like so, so weird.

And it's anxiety.

It's a symptom of anxiety.

And

both are part of what's called disassociation.

And they're often triggered by anxiety, trauma, or stress.

While they can be unsettling, they're not dangerous and they don't mean that you're losing touch with reality permanently.

This is what I want to tell you guys.

I have such a heart for minds and brains and anxiety because I know what it feels like to have your mind play tricks on you.

I know what it feels like to feel unsafe in your mind.

It's the scariest thing in the world when you feel like you're not in control of the thoughts that you're having.

One more thing I just wanted to mention was intrusive thoughts.

We've talked about this before, but I'll never stop talking about them because I have so many people who tell me they experience intrusive thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts can come in the form of thoughts, ideas, or images.

I used to have really bad intrusive thoughts that I was going to die.

Like that's just my mind would tell me all day you're going to die, but it's not even just a thought.

It's like this, it's intrusive.

And it's like this demanding

thought that comes into your mind and it's so loud.

And then you think it's a sin and you're like, am I bad?

Uh-huh.

Oh, so a lot of people,

and this is why I want to speak this, because I know what people go through.

I have met girls, I've met boys, I've met people who have been like, I need to tell you something that I've experienced.

People have like sexual intrusive thoughts.

They have dangerous intrusive thoughts.

I've known people to have sexual intrusive thoughts when they go to church and it's so shameful and it's so scary and you think something is deeply wrong with you.

And like, while that's not something that like there is prayer, healing, and possibly deliverance that needs to take place if this is like an ongoing thing,

intrusive thoughts are not real.

And your mind just does crazy things sometimes, but you're not crazy.

And they're not your thoughts.

And

I've always heard this from a psychological point of view, that with intrusive thoughts, you just let the intrusive thought go by because the more you try to fight it, the more power you feed it.

So if you just let the, it happens to me all the, recently, not recently, a few months ago, I had a thought.

What was it?

What, it was something like, this is so weird.

It's so weird.

I think I was like at a Starbucks or something.

I don't even, I really don't know if I'll keep this in.

It's so weird.

And I have a thought of like, I like got my drink and then I had a vision like that I threw the drink at the lady.

And that's an intrusive thought.

Like, obviously, no part of me is going to throw the drink.

And I remember I started dying laughing because I was like, that's so weird.

Like, it's so weird.

But this happens to people and they think they're losing their mind.

So we're here to tell you today that these are all things that you pray about, you bring to Jesus, you read the word of God that renews your mind.

The more you fill your mind with scripture, honestly, can I be honest?

The past few weeks of my life, we talked about this earlier, I have had a little bit more of an emphasis on abiding in worship than I have in scripture.

And that's beautiful, but

we need the word of God.

We need scripture to fill our minds because we will become very weak in our minds very quickly.

And I noticed my capacity for stress, my capacity for conflict, my emotional life was suffering severely because I was not in the word as much as I should have been.

And right, I'm still spending time with Jesus.

I'm doing,

I'm praying a lot.

I need the Word of God.

I need Him to speak.

I need Him to fill my mind.

The topic of intrusive thoughts.

I have one of my biggest things is obsessive-compulsive.

I have it probably worse than most.

Have had it since I was a kid, obsessive-compulsive thinking.

Sometimes you get healed from it.

I don't want you to beat yourself up.

If you hear these stories of deliverance and healing, and then some people,

it's a process.

For me, it was a process.

And I love that you say that.

But I will tell you, for someone who thought I had to be on, and listen, medication is also great for people too.

That's why God makes medication.

What I've lived for two years is that.

Going from a girl who could not live life because all I did was get tormented in my mind to then,

like, truly, like, you could be, someone new could be listening to this and be like, renewing in the mind, what do you mean?

Well, we've lived it.

I, I'm telling you right now, obsessive, compulsive thinking, I cannot believe my mind two years later from,

I know that if I'm not close to Jesus, if I'm not praying, if I'm not in my Bible, if I'm not like even first thing in the morning, Those thoughts, I'm going to, I'm going to backtrack.

I'm going to revert back to having obsessive compulsive thinking.

I didn't just get completely delivered from it.

I have to stay as close to Jesus as possible.

I mean a lot of my tormenting thoughts were from being in sin.

I couldn't, I can't believe that I don't suffer the way I do now that I laid down sin.

I can't believe it because that's what scripture says.

If you're someone who's like, I know, but I'm still battling with it, it's okay.

It's a process, but he's with you.

That's why he says, cast your anxiety is on him because he cares for you.

It's crying out to him, staying close to him.

And you will just see the renewal of your mind.

It's insane what he did through my mind that

the doctors always told me would never be cured of.

His name is Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals, and nobody's going to tell me otherwise.

Nobody's going to tell me that the God of the Bible, who literally spent his entire ministry healing people, delivering people of tormenting spirits that tormented their thoughts, and he's not going to do that today.

That's what he does.

That's what a relationship with Jesus does.

You have to take heart.

You have to have hope.

You have to believe for healing.

That is what you need to do.

If you're struggling with your mind, if you're struggling with your thoughts, you have to come into agreement with what Jesus says in his word, that if you go to him, if you cast your anxiety, he will take care of it because he cares about you.

He cares about your anxiety.

You have to give him everything.

And like Ari said, You have to remove sin from your life.

You have to remove sin from your life.

I'm not saying that all mental illness comes comes from sin, but what I am saying is that when I was in sin, sin separates you from God, which leads to death.

Sin leads to death.

Separation from God is a spiritual death.

If you're spiritually dead, it means you're not spiritually alive, which means that you're not fed, which means that you will be filled with anxiety and worry.

Any sin in your life is driving your mental health down.

Like it really is.

I'm telling you, when I was still living in impurity, when I was not pursuing purity, when I was tolerating sin, when I was tolerating sin out of my own mouth, when I was tolerating the things that I watched, every single thing irrigates, eye gates, open doors.

Like everything.

Everything, everything that we do has an effect on our mental health.

That's why Jesus calls us to a life of purity, holiness, and righteousness, because that's what leads to life.

Everything else will truly lead you into bad mental health.

And there's genetic predisposition.

So you're already fighting a battle that's not yours to begin with.

You're fighting your parents' battle with mental health, their parents' battle that's just passed down.

But the beautiful thing with Jesus is that he steps into your story, rewrites your family bloodline, and says that it ends with you.

Whatever you're dealing with that your mom couldn't heal, that your dad couldn't fix, Jesus can fix in your life.

You have the ability.

And so we're just going to give you one piece of scripture, 2 Corinthians 10, 5.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take every thought in our mind captive and make it obedient to Christ we declare every thought that comes in obedient to Jesus that means no thought can come into your mind that's a lie that's an anxious thought that's a fearful thought Jesus is Lord over your mind Jesus you are governed by the spirit of God not by fear not by anxiety you have not been given a spirit of fear but of power of love and of a sound mind and we come in agreement right now and declare the mind of Christ over you.

You have the mind of Christ.

You belong to Jesus.

Your mind belongs to Jesus.

He is your safety and your refuge.

You are safe in your body and you're good.

You just have to understand you're more than just okay.

Your future is going to be more than just okay.

It's going to be full and it's going to be full of life.

Yeah.

Good job, Ange.

We love you guys so much.

Seriously,

we're so in this mental health journey with you because we've walked it.

We continue to walk it.

We're in it with you.

And it's a daily renewal.

It's a daily surrender.

It's a daily battle, but you're not fighting it.

Jesus is fighting it on your behalf, but you have to let him in.

Yes.

And God will never condemn you.

So when you have condemning thoughts, you have to know it's not real.

He will never condemn you or make you feel shame.

And one of the greatest things that we have is we can choose our thoughts.

We can choose them.

We can shut them down.

We can make make it obey Christ.

Amen.

Amen.

We love you guys so much.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

May He make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.

May He turn His face towards you and give you peace.

We love you.

Great episode.

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