Confidence | Girls Gone Bible

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Hey! What happened at the airport? Sorry, it's early.

I'm a morning person. Are you a morning person? You know I'm a morning person.
I know, but I just, you know what? You are out. You're not.
Wait, I have to show you guys this video real quick of Angela when I try to wake her up in the morning. This is truly the funniest thing ever.
Can I play it on here? Should we put it on the screen? Yeah, yeah. Play it on here.

This is Angela when I try to wake her up when she's taking a nap or the morning.

It's the worst.

It's the worst.

Like, I don't, like, I know 6 a.m. is your thing.

I have to put on, like, armor like David.

Like, you're literally like Goliath.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

It does?

Look, this is you waking up your sister even though she asked you not to show them right now no no that is you because our our our i ask you every time we have a sleepover i say please in the morning like i don't like you can don't, like, you can go do your thing. Like, I don't, like, just go do your thing.
I'm just going to sleep. And then you always come in, but you talk to me.
But you talk to me while I'm sleeping. I do.
Still. Because I want you to wake up.
I'm like a kid. I know.
I'm like a kid that wants your parent to wake up. I just am not.
Like, when God made me, he didn't sprinkle that in. Right.
He didn't sprinkle. He didn't sprinkle you in to wake up at 5 a.m.
to go. I'm not one of those.
That's you. You would be a nightmare if you had to get.
I'd be complaining in the secret place. Maybe I'll try it one day, but that's your gift.
Yeah, it is. That's your gift.
Yeah. Any of you guys sleep with their mouth open? Because I, you know how when we go.
You know spiders can go in your mouth when. Why would you say that? Well, that's what they say.
Oh my God. Yeah, like, you know, they say you swallow like a couple spiders a year in your sleep.
Why would you have to be out? You know what? Anyways, hi, I'm Ange. And I'm R.
And this is Girls Gone Bible. We are a faith-based podcast where we talk all things Jesus, mental health, relationships,

specific. Anyways, hi, I'm Ange.
And I'm R. And this is Girls Gone Bible.
We are a faith-based podcast where we talk all things Jesus, mental health, relationships, specifically the Bible. We love reading from the Bible because the Word of God absolutely transformed and changed our lives and changed us as people.
And we're so glad that you're here. Great intro.
Thank you. Every time is kind of like, does anybody, but anybody but okay but seriously does anybody else feel like they're just not and granted yes i only slept five hours last night but just something is different when i wake up earlier in my body like i feel a little sick yeah you get you you do feel sick at first but then Teach us.
Teach us, Rabbi. You tackle.
You go about your father's business

and father him. What do you do from like five to 12? You're getting ready.
You're a proper study one moment. Yes.
You are. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. I think I might order an apron just to like get in the mode, you know? I started cooking again.
Trying to make meals. Tell us what you've been cooking.
You know, I have the favorites. I make a good pasta.
Okay, we have to talk about that pasta that you made. It's pretty good.
What were those big friggin' macaronis? Should I let out the secret? Sure. I put a little honey in the sauce.
It's a little too spicy for me, but unreal. You didn't like the arrabata sauce? Arrabati.
I love arrabati. The carbone arrabata sauce? Arrabati.
I did. It was just a little spicy.
Yeah. We like more sweet.
But those big noodles, what are they called? It's called rigatoni. No, they were massive noodles.
It's rigatoni. I'm Italian.
I know this stuff. I have never seen a macaroni that big.
And it's rigatoni. Macaroni.
I've never seen a big noodle. The Italians are watching this saying, come to Brooklyn to Brooklyn I'll show ya Albania and Italy Are neighbors We're literally the same Really? Yeah we are You know Albania's In between Italy and Greece You and I are actually neighbors I am so shocked You know that What? I know You don't think I know You thought there was a Southeast? You thought we were In the southeast When we were in Tennessee, I think.
And you thought we were with. We have been so excited to have this conversation around confidence because Ari and I have had an incredible journey with our own confidence and then confidence in the world and then finding our confidence in Jesus.
Take it off, sister. You take it off.
You take it off. I think it's always so important that we talk about the difference between what the world says about a topic versus what Jesus says about a topic.
And worldly confidence is something that we all strive for. We look for confidence in our achievements, our appearance, our accomplishments.
And like worldly confidence is always measured by external standards and factors, whereas godly confidence, and this might sound cliche, but it's the truth. And it's a cliche until you actually receive it and then you implement it and start living it because this is even going to be convicting for you and I,

this conversation, because we can talk about it all we want, but we have to live this topic of having godly confidence because godly confidence has nothing to do with your external circumstance, but it's all about finding confidence that's rooted in your identity in Jesus and trusting God that He has a purpose and plan for your life and understanding that your worth, your worth is found in the cross. Like it really is.
Our worth is not about who we are or what we do or what we have or what we've accomplished, but it's in the one who redeemed us. And like, as I'm sitting here and like thinking about confidence,, I keep thinking about how you and I and everybody watching, we were bought at such a high price.
The cross is proof of our worth. So if you're lacking confidence, you have to look to the cross.
That's so good. Yeah, boy, has our journey been the sanctification process of showing us that our confidence really isn't in things of this world.
You guys already know me, how much I struggled with my self-worth. I couldn't even look people in the eyes.
Even when we first started Girls Gone Bible, I had just such a hard time of understanding who i was understanding that i was enough and i just always had put my self-worth in men and um and and my um achievements that's what i thought would make me feel good um and so it's just been this crazy journey of everything being stripped from me and understanding how my worth has just truly been transformed. Like, I don't know.
I just, having Girls Gone Bible was one of the most exposing things for me because I truly did not feel adequate. I was put on this platform when I didn't know scripture, when I didn't, I really was just learning.
And so I felt so inadequate. I felt like, why am I here? Like, I don't deserve to be here.
I can't, I'm not really a good speaker. Literally, we're going to read Moses, but I've never related so much to a scripture of being like, I stutter.
I have a hard time learning. I am not going to be able to learn this thing.
And God says to Moses, is it not I that gives you the words? Is it not I? And so it's been this crazy transformation and journey for me of him being like, it is not about your strength. It is not about what you can do or how good you are or what college degree you have or how much makeup you wear, what kind of clothes you wear.
That is not where your confidence comes. And so for me, it has just been self-reliance on Jesus.
And I really, he's really showed me so much, especially on tour. Like I have so many moments of sitting behind that curtain before we're going to go out.
It's been so, and I'm still learning. Like Angela has to deal with a lot with me after shows sometimes because I am still in this process of being so hard on myself.
I will look at her sometimes and being like, did I do enough? I am not enough. Look at how I acted.
I started sometimes like, I've put you through so much sometimes because I have felt so inadequate and so not good enough. So it's been this journey, but there's being behind that curtain before I'm going to walk on stage.
And it's not when I'm like all pumped up and like, oh yeah, I can do this. This is, this is, I'm good enough.
No, it's, it's truly when I am in a moment with Jesus and I'm out of all of my strength and I am at my weakest. And I look up and I'm like, I can't do this.
I can't do this for my own strength. And it's when he comes in and he gives me that strength.
But it's when I get to the point where I'm like, my life does not belong to me. I don't have like, it's you, my life belongs to you.
So I need you right now to come and work through me and do this because I can't do anything on my own. And so, um, yeah, it's my confidence really comes from when I'm at my weakest, when I'm self-relying on him, when I'm humble, when I'm as low to the ground as possible, when I forgive quickly, when I say sorry quickly, and when I just always come from a place of humility.
Anytime, my confidence has just changed so much. But now that I'm operating, well, I'm trying.
There's so many times even now where I come from the flesh and I come from pride and I come from ego and I come from trying to be self-protected. And I feel so defeated.
I don't feel good. And so when I am reliant on Jesus, I really sit with him in the secret place.
I really just let the scriptures renew my mind. And I'm not coming from a place out of the flesh, but through the spirit, I let him work through me.
That's when I'm confident because that's when I'm humble. And that's when I'm kinder.
And that's when I can help people. And that's when I can say sorry and forgive quickly.
So confidence is really just being humble and coming from a place of humility and being kind. And that only comes from having Jesus.
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You said like in the moments where you're your weakest and you're like, I can't do this without Jesus. I just heard someone say something like, if your dreams, if you're able to accomplish your dreams on your own, they're probably not from God because God's going to give you a dream that is so massive and so big that you can't do it without him.
So like dream bigger. If your dreams, if you can accomplish things on your own, like be encouraged to dream way bigger because yeah, he gives us a lot of things that we could never do without him.
And that's so true. It's like when we dream big, but when we dream for ourself from our own strength, we're not – it wasn't until you and I both said – we had our hands like this and we said, take it.
Like I don't – you know, and we let him do it. But when we are continuously operating from a place of self, we will never have real confidence.
It's fleeting confidence of the world. I think I love that you talk about humility because I feel the same way that, again, everything that the world pushes, Jesus sends a different message.
Like the world says confidence is all about self. It's about self-promotion.
It's

about getting bigger and better and being the best. And like, that's how you'll be confident

when you have the most, when you are the best. And Jesus is like, go low.
Like confidence truly

does start in humility. And like, I feel like the major shift in my life when it comes to confidence

was when there was a shift from self-promotion to like truly being a part of Jesus's mission and like truly being a part of like a deeper purpose of serving God and serving people because it does start in humility oh gosh yes and humility is because confidence is not arrogance but humility is not self-hatred. Humility isn't self-deprecation.
It's not putting yourself down and hating yourself and thinking that you're the worst person and beating yourself up. That's not humility.
That's actually pride. It's making much of yourself.
And so we can't get confused thinking that like humility means that you're just like, you hate yourself and you put yourself down all the time and you're just like self-sacrificial and being like, I'm so humble. I can't stand myself.
That's not what God is calling us to. Confidence, true confidence is knowing the power and the authority that you have through Jesus, knowing that you carry it, knowing that you're bold, knowing that you're powerful, knowing that you have authority, but then knowing who it's from, knowing who you who's the root, the origin of that power and that authority.
Like that's how you have true confidence. When you say that, I think about David, and that's why I love David so much.
He's like one of my favorites in the Bible because he was just this little shepherd boy. And it's just like a beautiful illustration of how God took a little shepherd boy and made him king, ruler over a king.
And it wasn't because David had all these things and he was this confident. No, he was like, he tended to his father's sheep.
He was just like a little shepherd boy. And I just love that so much because it just goes to show you that your confidence and how God can use you does not come from how successful and how good you are and all these things that I always thought.
It comes from having a heart after God and being humble. That's why the Bible says those who are faithful with little will be ruler over much.
And I think it goes back to David. He was faithful with little.
He wasn't boastful and proud. He had a heart after God, and he was humble, and he helped.
And so that's where you get your confidence, just being faithful with little, being a servant. And that is where your humility comes from.
So you and I have had a similar journey when it comes to men and boyfriends and appearance and just putting our worth and our value in that. And I just think that there are so many girls that watch and that are like and obviously it's a forever ongoing journey of being like no that's not where my worth is no that's not what I'm valued for no that's not where I find my confidence so should we talk just a little bit about like I love that you know this up because you and I have spent our whole lives looking to men to validate us, presenting ourselves in a certain way because that's what we thought was powerful.
That's what the world pushed on us. So one thing about me is I, so for me, as I'm thinking about confidence, it's more than just confidence.
I was thinking self-confidence, self-worth, self-respect. Like these are all things that kind of go together.
And I think to be truly confident in yourself, you have to respect yourself. You have to trust yourself.
You have to be somebody that you respect and admire and like have traits in yourself and live your life in a way that like is integral and like is just, it's just like a life that you respect. And, but self-respect oftentimes is, is like rooted in our self-worth.
Like we respect ourselves to the, to the degree in which we feel we're worthy. And so I know for me, like, everything comes out of your self-worth, literally everything, what you think about yourself, the way that you behave.
I remember when I was younger, my mom has always valued intelligence. Like she's always been like, like, she's always spoken that over me.
She's always been like, you're so smart. You're so smart.
Like since I was a little child and I never believed her. And for some reason growing up, obviously pain and trauma and like so many different things, I never respected myself.
I never felt encouraged to like be smart. I always leaned into like kind of a dumb blonde persona when I was younger because that's just what I thought I was worthy of.
I didn't think that I was worthy of anything more. I couldn't imagine a world in which I would be considered intelligent or like that I would be valued for my mind.
And it was just such an attack from Satan, obviously from the very beginning. I think God loves my mind and everybody's mind.
And like, that's where so much of like my fruit comes from is like literally in my mind and the way that my mind operates. And since I was a little girl, like Satan attacked my view of myself when it came to like my own intelligence.
And I'd go to school and like, I wouldn't try in school and I would get good grades. And like, I'd always do the homework well and I'd always pass on tests, but I just wouldn't go I wouldn't try I never put an effort and I think about my whole like life in school I always had teachers pull me aside like teachers always saw the best in me that I could never see in myself but they were always so disappointed because they were like why are you doing this you're better than this like why don't you live up to the potential that you can like they saw it in me but I didn't see it in myself so I had no I just didn't have respect for myself so it wasn't until I was like I was 18 I moved to LA I start going to acting school and I still had this like persona of being a little bit airy and dumb that I leaned into.
And I don't remember exactly when there was a switch, but I remember as I was turning like 19 and 20, I began to like grow as a woman as well. And just something happened in me where I was like living on my own and I was making decisions and my environment had changed from obviously my home life.
And all of a sudden I began to step into the woman that God called me to be. And I began to look at myself in the mirror and be like, you have so much more to offer than your body, than your looks, than your personality you have like you're a smart girl you're smart lean into that receive it accept it like I feel like so many of us it's not even just that we don't have confidence we don't allow ourselves to step into the shoes that God has for us because we don't feel worthy yeah you know yeah that is so good I I wish you were saying And then I'm like, you don't feel smart.
You're like know? Yeah. That is so good.
I, I, I, when you were

saying that, I'm like, you don't feel smart. You're like, so the smartest person I know.
I struggled so much. I leaned into this like persona of, you know what I mean? Because I just, I didn't feel ever good enough to step up to that.
You know? You know what it is? It's, it's everything is in Like you're, for me, like my biggest hurdle in my life and still, like it's still something I'm being pruned of right now. You guys are walking through this with me is my mind.
Like my mind has, I have had, I was talking to my best friend last night about this. She's like, I have never seen anyone with obsessive compulsive thinking the way you had it like like so much so that I I wish you guys could have known me two years ago like I could not I had not one moment of peace my whole life like I would ask you if you when I started my friendship, I would ask you the same question.
It was my mind just never stopped telling me horrible things about myself. And so it all starts in the mind.
And then you start to believe it. And as a kid, like it's been eating me alive since I was a kid.
So then you grow up and you believe those lies.

Yeah, exactly.

And that's why I just was having this conversation.

Like when Jesus saved my life, that's the first thing that I had to tackle was my mind, the thoughts.

When you are being told in your mind that you are awful, that you are worthless, that you are not smart enough, that you are just like all these things that your mind say, you are exhausted. You feel you don't want to get out of bed.
You don't feel good about yourself. You can't even look people in the eyes because your mind, you're tired, you feel worthless.
And then on top of that, I don't know how you guys grew up, but like if you grow grow up not feeling safe, you're exhausted. How can you possibly feel good? And so having relationship with Jesus, that's why he says, seek me with all your heart and you will find me.
And then through finding him, you will find yourself. I did not have any idea who I was.
when I literally was relentless and like a little girl being like,

I need to be a little girl being like, I need to understand who you are. So understanding his word, the Bible, that's why like understanding the scriptures, understanding his love, understanding his safety, understanding all these things, you then like, I don don't know if I share this in another episode, but when you understand Jesus, when you go into relationship with Jesus, it then calms your nervous system down.
Then you start to feel safety. Then you start to feel loved.
Then you understand and you marinate on these scriptures, and then you understand that you're not all these things. That's when all of my thoughts, when I started to lay down the sin, when I started to just go all in with Jesus, really die to myself, that's when the thoughts started to subside.
I didn't live in my flesh anymore because I was lying down my life. And so I started to feel steady in my mind.
I was anchored. I wasn't so sick.
I started to feel love. I started to feel appreciated, which then calmed my nervous system down, which then made me feel confident.
Yeah. Because I was like, wait a minute.
I'm not all these things. These are lies.
I started to understand what the enemy was. I didn't know what the enemy was two years ago.
I thought I was literally mentally ill. I thought I was crazy.
That's what the doctors told me. I would have to take pills to subside the thoughts in my mind, which then I would wake up and then I start.
So it's like, and I come from a town that that's what we do. We take pills to subside the thoughts because we all think we're mentally ill.
We all think we're chronically depressed when really we just need to go into intimacy with Jesus. We need to not go to church on Sunday, but we need to get in the morning and read these scriptures because that's what's going to calm the thoughts.
Following him is going to anchor you. It's going to steady you.
It's going to make you confident. And so I just, I don't know, for me, like feeling safe, feeling loved has made me feel so confident.
It's made me feel steady. It stopped the thoughts.
Everything starts in the mind. If we sit there and we have, and I'm telling you, mental illness, obsessive compulsive, it's a demon.
It is. And it says it so much in the Bible that they had demons in their thoughts.
Like it goes back to that. So we have to tackle the thoughts because it all starts right here.
And once we tackle the thoughts, then we start to feel safe. When we know who are, we have a dad.
We have a dad. So when we start to feel safe, then we start to feel better.
Yeah. A hundred percent.
We don't rely on all these other things, you know? It's so good. And it's just like, you talked about it earlier about being in the secret place and how like truly everything that we are looking for, everything that we're searching for, we will find in the secret place.
Self-worth, self-confidence, and identity are breathed and spoken into us by Jesus in the secret place. Fruit is produced in the secret place.
I want to speak to anybody who's sitting here who is looking at their own life and feels like you're lacking fruit. If you're lacking love, if you're lacking joy, if you're lacking peace, self-control, gentleness, kindness, patience, if you're lacking these things, you will find it in the secret place.
Like literally John 15, apart from me, I am the vine. My father is the vine dresser.
He cuts off every branch that doesn't produce fruit. Abide in me and I in you and remain in me and you will have joy.
You will have joy and you will produce fruit. And everything that we're looking for comes from the secret place.
The secret place is a cleansing. I found Jesus in the scriptures.
I do everything that I need to do to get educated in the scriptures. And also my secret place has

changed so much because while Jesus is the scriptures, there's also an element to abiding that coming from someone who can lean into performance. Sometimes I could be like, how much scripture can I read to reach a level of spirituality? And God is asking me to sit and rest and abide and let myself be loved.
And so like my secret place, I spend so much of my secret place sitting in silence and literally just imagining like a cleansing happening where he removes impurity, but then fills me with himself, fills me with fruit. Like sometimes I'll close my eyes and imagine like fruit being planted in me.
Like I imagine love being planted. And then I ask Holy Spirit to come water it.
And then I watch it bloom. And like, this is all just like visual exercises, but it's all found in the secret place.
Like, that's my point with that. And then self-confidence goes so much with identity.
And like, we'll speak, we'll read the little story from Exodus, but like, you can't be confident if you don't know who you are. You can't be confident in who you are if you don't know who you are.
Jesus has to form our identities. Our identity has to be rooted in Jesus.
What does that mean? Jesus has to speak over you. And he does that in the secret place.
And he does that through your asking. He does that through your prayer.
A little thing that I've been going through, I've probably spent the last year and a half praying the same prayer quite often, which is, Jesus, who am I apart from Girls Gone Bible? Because Ari and I fall into this, and this applies to every single person because I know that every single one of us has something in our life that is our purpose. Jesus is our purpose.
It's our purpose. It's our calling.
It's our business. It's our ministry.
It's our gift, our athletic gift. It's our singing gift.
Like we something that's bigger than us, and it becomes so

disillusioning when we think that that's who we are. And so we start Girls Gone Bible, and Girls Gone Bible becomes this massive thing that is bigger than both of us.
And that's beautiful. Thank God it's bigger than us.
I'm happy that Girls Gone Bible is bigger than Anjan RER.

But then at the same time, if you're not careful, you can then start to attach your own value to this thing or attach your value in relation to this thing. And so if I really think about it, I've had to have so many conversations with God asking him to differentiate who I am from Girls Gone Bible.
And I've asked Him, because from the world's perspective, technically, Girls Gone Bible has more value than me as an individual. People would rather invite Girls Gone Bible than me.
Sometimes people don't even know our names, but they know Girls Gone Bible, and that's what they refer to us as. And so I'm constantly in a conversation with God asking Him, like, I need you to speak identity and worth into me.
What is my worth apart from Girls Gone Bible? What is my worth apart from Ari? Do I have value? Am I enough without everything else? Because we can so quickly slip into this thing is who we are, it's everything, and God forbid it ends tomorrow. Then what do we do? So attaching our confidence to anything that is outside of us, anything apart from Jesus is a recipe for disaster.
And you would know this, Ari, because you had everything stripped from you, And so have I. But it's the kindness of God for that to happen because we put our value in everything else.
And God shows us, hey, don't do that because it can and it will, by my own design, be stripped from you so I could leave you empty so that finally I can come and be your source. Finally, I can be the one that fills you up.
You know, he's like, why don't you put it in the hands of someone who will never leave you and will never disappoint you. Right.
And it won't be, it's eternal. It won't be taken away.
Don't put your value and your confidence in yourself. Um, an unreliable, uh, unreliable human being who were faulty.
We fluctuate. We change my mood.
My confidence is going to depend on my mood well my mood changes literally every 30 minutes sometimes for better sometimes for worse yeah so like i don't want my confidence in that and like our confidence just truly this is so much easier said than done but it is something that you have to every single day of your life apply and implement into your life. Our confidence should not be rooted in ourselves whatsoever.
And scripture repeatedly, consistently reminds us of that saying, oh, I will boast only in the Lord. Trust in the Lord, your God, with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It's always like we're putting it on Jesus and taking it off of ourselves.
I trust in God and I lean not on my own. Like that one is explicitly like everything I find is in Jesus.
I will not try and muster it up myself because I'll never do it. It'll never happen.
Yeah. And changing your even prayer life too.
And this is something we're all working on because I think it's important to have purpose and to want to do something you love. But instead of being like, will you do this for me? And can I have that? And I need to get to this place.
So how can I serve you? How can I be a servant to you? Because it wasn't until I realized that my life was not mine, that it's not about me. I gave him lordship over my life.
So it's service to God. And it honestly, it sounds to a new believer so crazy, but it actually takes the pressure off of us.
And it's like, then we're like. It's so powerful to lose all all power it's like we don't have to go by our own strength anymore we don't have to be these big boastful people with the confidence and do you and let's get to the like we don't when you because honestly you think that's confidence and all these achievements and then you get to the top and you realize wait a minute This isn't.
You're empty. You're lost.
You realize that that doesn't fulfill you.

You always. these achievements and then you get to the top and you realize wait a minute this isn't you're empty you're lost you're you realize that that doesn't fulfill you you always come up short yeah and I've I've I've learned that the hard way and I'm glad I did because I'm like wow I got to this place but I still don't feel good because there was always an emptiness because I didn't have Jesus and it wasn't until he filled that yeah that hole in my heart is where I was like, whatever, I have you.
That's all that matters. A touch from you is better than anything we've ever done.
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If you don't know, now you know that The Chosen played a massive part in Ari and I's life and in our friendship. Literally, when we first became friends, I wanted her to know about Jesus and I wanted her to start reading the Bible.
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Can we talk about, can I just touch on singleness? Yeah, of course. Can I pour into my single people real quick? Because I've been on this journey of singleness.
This, she's been with me and it's been at times exhausting and just really difficult. And there's been times where it's felt like I have got, I have gotten just the wind punched out of me, healing from heartbreak, feeling a lack of identity and self-worth at times of just heartbreak and not feeling good.
because my whole life I have had I've gotten love from another person I have leaned on another

person and so to enter into a season longer than I expected of singleness has been hard, rewarding, and just such a struggle. And so I know some of you girls or guys can feel so tired at times and you just don't feel good.
But I had a moment on Friday. And that morning, I had just been praying, God, can you help me out? Like, I'm exhausted.
I'm a woman that is just really desiring this. Like, I am ready.
Like, I feel like I'm ready. And I'm just tired, and I want to go out with my person on a Friday night.
Like, you just, you desire these things as we, and that's okay. And so I was just in my prayer time just talking to God about this stuff, and then I had went to a movie with my girlfriend, and I was driving home, and I had blasted this country song on, and I had my windows down.
And all of a sudden, I got into this place of I am singing out loud. I had my windows down.
I was in a moment of full joy, and I just was singing my country song and I was all myself. And I just heard God be like, this is why.
This is why. If you would have seen me two, like three years ago, you could have, you would have never catch me driving by myself on a Friday night, listening to music and being in complete peace and joy.
And so my biggest fear used to be alone. And like, I would just want to tell you guys, like your biggest fear should be not knowing how to be alone.
Exactly. It is, it is a, it's being in hell.
If you cannot be on your own, that is hell, because you are putting your identity into someone else. And so I just wanted to say that to you guys.
I know that sometimes it can be so hard and tiring and you're just like, where is my person? But God really is doing such a mighty work in you. I can't believe what he's done through my singleness, through my tiredness, through my days of crying out and being like, where is he? And I just had that moment.
I just wanted to share that with you guys because I can't believe it. I can't believe I can go to bed alone and lean on Jesus and not another guy.
So it's just been like, that's the goal. That should be the goal for you guys.
Yeah. I love that so much.
Because so many of us put our worth in other people and and we will always come up short, and there will always be a hole in our hearts.

So just let God heal you if you are in a season of singleness, and it is His appointed time. So just don't grow weary because He's working.
Exactly. And I love that you say that.
I was just listening to Stephanie Gretzinger and, you know, she is

married and she's like one of, she's just an amazing, amazing woman, worship leader. And just

like I listened to every, I listened to all of her talks, but she, I was listening to one of her

talks and she ends it with, and it just hit me so hard because it's so the truth and we hear it all

the time. But hear me right now when I tell you that a marriage and children will not fulfill you if you're not fulfilled right now, if you're not at peace with Jesus, if Jesus isn't Lord over your life and over your heart, a marriage and kids and everything that you're asking for will never fulfill you.
That's why people are miserable when they have everything that they want. And that's not to say that somebody in their singleness or like me, when I was in my singleness, that you're not hurting, annoyed, a little pissed off sometimes, lonely.
Like you can be all of those things and still have a fulfilled heart in Jesus. So it's not that like you have to get to this place where you're like, I don't want it anymore.
That's not what it means. You can still have all the emotions.
You can still feel like, you can still feel all these things, but you can, it's just about coming to the awareness that if I'm not good right now, I'm not going to be good with them for a period of time. The honeymoon stage always makes things a little lighter, but then like relationships are not meant to just simply make you joyful and confident they're actually meant to like hurt a little bit and and bring you higher yeah and just to speak Ari talked about singleness maybe I'll just say one thing about relationships and like I've shared this I think on GGB plus actually But when I, I was for like you know really single for six months before I met John no um male attention really didn't have any I tried to not have really guy friends I was just like really trying so hard to be like I cannot let this part of me be fed because it's been fed since I was 15 years old yeah it's got to die.
And there was a death. There was a death in my provocativeness, in my flirtiness.
There was a death that could have only happened through me being starved of male attention. My need for confidence through male validation had to be starved in solitude and singleness.
And you're experiencing that. You know what I mean? Like that's what we go through.
And then I meet John and like that died, right? But he was the first godly man, godly relationship where I, it was my first time with a man again. And I had to relearn how to relate to men.
Because felt in dating John it almost woke back up a little bit where like that's my default that's what I thought I thought flirtiness and just like a little bit of whatever and meeting a true man of God there was a second death that happened yeah it was killed once again where I met a man who literally wanted to see Jesus in my heart.

He wanted to see Jesus in my eyes. And he did not simply just validate me and tell me I'm the prettiest, most amazing girl in the world.
He actually told me, he gave me feedback and it was hard. And he told me, he saw me and he told me the things in me that were not godly, that were not fruitful that were were like, and he just taught me like, hey, this is who you can be.
This is who you should be. And it like made me, that's, but that's the confidence that I got.
Not him validating me, telling me you're so hot and like, whatever. It was him being like, I see Jesus in you.
I see where he wants to take you, but you're not there yet. That's true confidence.

But then he built me and helped build me up.

You know what I mean?

So I say all that to say that you find a man who doesn't value sexy.

Does he like if I look pretty?

Sure, obviously.

I know that that's not what he values.

That's not what he's going to value when we're 80 years old.

You know what I mean?

So it's about letting God do something in your singleness

and then let God do something in your singleness,

but don't go back on the work that he's done

based on the man that you pick in the future.

Because a man can take you so far back

if they're valuing the wrong things in you.

Well, I love that you say that too, because you met someone who speaks life into you, who made you better. And even if it's not a boyfriend, another way for confidence is to really surround yourself with people, because there are going to be days, even when you do have Jesus, that you can't pick your head off the pillow, that you can't see yourself, that it looks dark in your eyes.
We go through this. We go through spiritual warfare.
We go through anxiety. Even though we have Jesus, it does not mean that we aren't going to face really tough battles.
Even as mothers, you're like exhausted like and so um really surrounding yourself with people that speak life into you yeah speak life you it is so important like I can't tell you guys enough how important it is to have friends yeah to surround yourself with people that when you can't pick your head up off the pillow, that they say, you are good enough. You are worth it.
Get up. I'm here for you.
I love you. Go look at yourself.
You are enough. It's okay.
And so sometimes when we aren't feeling good and we're getting attacked in the mind, the first thing that we think is to go in isolation, to go in that dark room, to take those pills, to just stay in hell in our mind. And so push yourself, fight through it, be around friends, be around people who love you that can speak life to you.
I love the scripture. Something that I will always speak out loud is, so as a man thinks, he is.
And so I know one thing that I'm learning is that God does not condemn you. He is not yelling at you.
I have in my journey have thought sometimes, I felt like my relationship with Jesus is like a report card. Like I have to do this, this, and this to feel value, to be loved, for him to do nice things for me, to him to give me grace.
And that's actually the quite opposite. And it's something I'm still learning through with him is I'm understanding his love because I do have a lot of condemning thoughts.
I do feel like I don't measure up to his love sometimes. And so just understanding that, changing the thought patterns.
I love to read Psalms. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, you are with me.
Even though I'm in a tough time, Jesus, you're still with me, I feel safe again. Like I had a moment too where I was getting defeated by my thoughts.
This was actually yesterday, by the way. I had a spiritual, a little bit of a spiritual attack where I really was struggling when I woke up and I was getting just beat with my thoughts.
And I go, no, no, no, no. This is not going to fly with me.
If this was two and a half years ago, I would have went in my dark room. I would have slept for days.
I would have just. And so I go, no, no, no.
I literally immediately opened my Bible. I just opened up immediately to Psalms.
I started speaking it out loud. I started speaking.
I think it was Psalm 91. I started speaking out loud.
And all of a sudden, the thoughts subsided. And I look up, and I looked different.
And I was like, this is confidence. This is confidence.
Defeating the voices in your head. Defeating that.
The enemy. That's what he wants.
He wants to get in your mind. He wants to deteriorate you.
He wants to make you think that where you are, this depression, this is the best you'll ever be. You're never going to get out of this.
So when you fight back and you overcome that, I was like, this is true confidence. I can't even believe.
I just did. It's confidence.
That's authority. You were speaking scripture over yourself.

And it, like, literally filled you with the authority that you have in Jesus.

And it, like, that's confidence.

Yeah.

When I was struggling really bad with panic attacks all the way back.

So I get sober at 23.

And then I had, like, this long journey with panic attacks and anxiety.

And then I spend the next year, year and a half probably healing from the panic attacks.

But like my anxiety was worse than ever.

And I was the worst version of myself.

Like I was this big.

Yeah.

I was.

Feel exhausted.

I was like you say, you couldn't look people in the eye.

I literally was like, I couldn't look people in the eye.

I was scared. I was fearful.
I was anxious and I was incredibly insecure. And Socrates taught me to start praying for boldness.
You guys have to write this down. Pray for boldness and confidence and authority every day of your life.
Lord, fill me with boldness. That's confidence.
It's boldness. Like you literally look all through the book of Acts and it constantly says that the Holy Spirit filled the disciples with boldness.
They were filled with boldness. It's the spirit of God that enters in and fills you, builds you up and gives you that boldness.
So confidence is just like, there's so many different names for confidence, but it's boldness. It's authority.
And I just want to say, again, Stephanie Gretzinger, she said this, and I just wanted to say this one quote. She said, we are suffering with a self-worth issue because we've made much of our own worth instead of focusing on him who is worthy.
The truth is we can give you all of these step-by-step ways in being confident and loving yourself and telling yourself, you're amazing. You're good enough.
You're great. Jesus is worthy and His worthiness covers us.
That's what it's about. Jesus is worthy.
Jesus paid the price for us to be worthy. We are not worthy on our own.
He who had no sin became sin so that we could become the righteousness of God. He took on our insecurity to give us confidence.
He took on our self-worth issues to breathe life into us. It was an exchange that happened, but we find it in Jesus.
The truth is, none of us, unless you're delusional, and that's great, none of us are going to be 100% confident. You're not going to wake up one day and be like, can I be honest? The closer I get to Jesus, thank you, Holy Spirit.
It's the Holy Spirit who gives us awareness. We are only as self-aware as we can be through the Holy Spirit.
Thank you, Jesus, that the Holy Spirit literally gives us so much self-awareness. But the closer I get to Jesus, the more intimate I am with Jesus, the more aware I am of my flaws.
The more impurity I see, the deeper I go, oh my gosh, that's not good. This has to go.
I am weak in this area. Ew, my default is pride.
The closer you get, it's not that you start to think you're amazing. You just, you start thinking less of yourself, period.
Right. The more you, so it's, so this idea that one day, this idea that one day you're going to wake up in Jesus and think I am literally perfect and beautiful and amazing.
It's probably not going to happen, but you do wake up and you think, wow, you behold the beauty of the Lord and you say, he is worthy. He's worthy.
So I am worthy. He is holy.
So I am holy. Like it's a mirror and a reflection and you look in the mirror and you no longer see yourself, but you see Jesus.
That's the point. It's that we would start thinking of ourselves less and we start thinking of Jesus more.
This is a cliche. This is a Christian cliche until you implement it and you live it.
There are days where I fail at this, but there are days that I actually succeed in knowing that like I am so insecure today. I'm insecure in relationships.
I'm insecure in friendships. I'm insecure as a speaker and a talker on a podcast.
But like, thank God, I don't need to think about myself all day. You know? Yes.
Yes. That was beautiful.
And it's so true. And I think that's been one of the greatest things for me and you is that we don't have to go out and try to be all these things, but we actually are seeing all the nasty stuff inside our hearts.
And it's like a constant cleansing and it can feel exhausting at times, but it's all, it's just molding us into the image of Jesus. I am testing with Function throughout this year, and I can't wait to share with you what's going on for me.
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Call 1-800-958-1000 or visit tnusa.com slash ggb. April 15th is just around the corner act now before the irs acts first so there's um the scripture revelation that i love so much in a loud voice they were saying worthy is the lamb who was slain to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise jesus is the only one who is truly worthy.
His worthiness is what covers us. Worth is not something we earn or gain.
We simply receive through our relationship with Jesus. Yeah.
It sounds very airy and mystical and like whatever, but if you really, you have to say, Jesus, help me understand this. Give me revelation of of my worth that it does not come from literally anything to do with me.
And confidence is coming from a place of constant everyday surrender. The more you surrender to Jesus, the more you say my life isn't mine.
The more you say, I don't want to live by my own strength and by my own achievements and by self. Take it.
What do you have for me? That's where you will find true confidence because that's when he will open heaven's gates for you and he will open doors for you that no man can shut. You're looking at a girl right here that started Girls Gone Bible when I just started reading scripture who could not look people in the eyes, who never in a million years thought I could speak because I like will stutter sometimes.
I have a learning disability, learning disability. And he said, oh, yeah, really? Is that what you think of yourself? And look at you now.
And then he has me speaking to you guys. And not only that, these things that I absolutely said this in another episode and I was just talking to Angela.
I said, you know, Ang, I think I just had a breakthrough. There was a night on stage probably a couple weeks ago.
I'm talking to you guys on stage and all of a sudden I completely go mind blank, like complete brain fog. I was like, I don't know what I just said.
I was like, what did I just say? And everyone just started laughing.

And I was like, I would have absolutely beat myself up for days if this was two years ago.

But he is highlighting to me, R, this is who you are.

You forget things sometimes.

You're a little like, you know, but it's okay.

And like, I will find myself in prayer being like, Jesus, have me be really intelligent. Have me speak on all these things.
And he actually has me go on stage sometimes and be the exact opposite because this is who I am. And I have found so much.
He has made me feel so comfortable with myself because he's like, this is beautiful. And so, I don't know, some of you guys could have some little quirks about yourself that you absolutely hate.
And God is just going to reveal so much to you. It's not about, again, how long you went to school or your college degree or how much you have known the Bible or how long you have been a Christian.
No, it's not.

It's a heart of surrender, a heart after God. Please study the story of David.
It is like the best story, a humble heart to constantly put out your hands to others. That's true confidence.
It's serving Jesus. It's having a surrendered life to him.
Before we go, I just want to read one of Ari and I's favorite stories from the Bible. You guys know who Moses is.
Moses is the man of God who the Lord chose to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, out of slavery into the promised land. And we just love this story so much because God himself basically, Moses is the only man who ever saw God face to face.
He literally saw God face to face, the only person in history who's come to face to face. And so you see here, so basically God comes and he shows up in a burning bush.
He appears to Moses and he tells Moses, you are going to be the person who leads my people. I'm trusting you.
Imagine God comes down and says, I'm trusting you with this. And you're still like, I don't think so.
Like, I still don't think it's me. And he says, go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh.
You must lead my people Israel out of Egypt. But Moses protested to God, who am I to appear before Pharaoh?

Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?

God answered, I will be with you.

My favorite thing, God so often doesn't answer our silly questions.

He says, who am I?

Who am I?

Who am I?

He doesn't even answer.

He says, I will be with you.

Because in God's mind, he's like, it doesn't matter who you are. Don't you see? It's not about who you are.
It's about who I am and if I'm with you. And then he says, this is your sign that I am the one who has sent you.
When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God at this very mountain. But Moses protested.
If I go to tell the people of Israel and tell them the God of your ancestors has sent me to you, they will ask me what's his name. Then what should I say? God replied to Moses, I am who I am.
Say to this, to the people of Israel, I am has sent me to you. Again, he says, I am who I am.
Whenever you're in a conversation with God, just imagine he's constantly, you're so concerned with all of these things to do with yourself and your life and your this and your that. And he's like, me, I am who I am.
Focus on the great I am. That's where you'll find everything.
That's where your problems will be fixed. And then I just want to say a little bit later on, basically that still wasn't enough from Moses.
And then Moses is having a conversation with God and Moses is saying, and you love this part where God is like, you're going to basically speak to my people. You're going to give them the commandments.
You're going to do all these things, basically telling him, you're going to preach. And Moses is like, I can't do it.
I stutter. I stumble.
I don't know how to speak. I've never been articulate.
I can't say anything. And God, I, I think tries to encourage him maybe one more time.
He

protests once again. And then God goes, okay, we'll have your brother Aaron do it then.
Ouch. If you are so, if you make so much of yourself in your own insecurity, who knows what is going to pass you by? Who knows what your lack of confidence, not just in yourself, but your lack of the God in you is going to cause something to pass you by.
Like there might be a plan and a purpose and a will and a gift for your life that literally is just going to pass you by due to your own insecurity because you've made much of yourself. Make small of yourself, make little of yourself and make big of Jesus.
So good. So good.
Can I say one last thing? Yeah. Self-respect is the recognition of our God-given worth and our decision to live that way, to live with integrity, to live with righteousness, to live with holiness, to live in honesty.
If you want to have self-confidence, you need to have self-respect. You need to live a life worth respecting.
You know what I mean? You and I, so much of our confidence came, and this can be really confusing when you're listening to the world telling you that it's okay to live a certain way, but we have no idea how much insecurity a lot is probably being produced because we're not living out God's will for our lives. Living a life of integrity and holiness and purity and righteousness that has created so much confidence in us because you're in the will of God, the will of God, like Ari says sometimes.
The will of God. Living a life of confidence very plainly is being in the world, but not being of it.
You will never have true confidence if you are doing everything the world but not being of it.

You will never have true confidence if you are doing everything the world is saying and doing.

And I know that's really hard

because everything's in our face all day.

Instagram, TikTok, the, the, the, the.

Let me tell you, it is fake

and it is the kingdom of something else like Stephanie E.K. is.

Anything that is of this world, you're serving another kingdom, which is the enemy. That is not real confidence.
That is getting chewed up and you will be spit out so fast. And can we say one thing? I don't care if you've been living up in the world until this very moment that you're watching right now.
I don't care if you're actively in the—I do care. But if you're actively in the middle of sin, if your life is full of sin and darkness, you can choose right now, right now, to give your life to Jesus, to change your ways to accept Jesus and live a life that is righteous and holy and blameless and pure.
You know what? You know what true confidence is? Tell us. Repenting quickly.
You can be in the middle of... Do you know how much I fall? I fall short, a God's glory, but it is the daily of getting...
Jesus, please help me. It is...
Do not have the... The minute we have pride and ego and we don't hit our knees and say, get it out of me, we're not going to have confidence.
So it's like the daily of repentance and understanding and saying, Jesus, work all this out of me. That's true confidence.
If you've never given your life to Jesus and you are lacking confidence and you are lacking security and you're lacking joy and you're lacking peace, right now is the perfect moment to give your life to the one who gave it to you, the one who formed you, who knit you together in your mother's womb, who declares you as fearfully and wonderfully made. Give your life to the God who will give you everything.
If you're a non-believer and this all seems so funny, take it from two girls who were literally living in the world not that long ago and absolutely got our lives flipped and turned upside down. And it's hard and it's not easy and it's sacrificial and it's cost us absolutely everything.
And you know what we've gained? Life and life abundantly and an immense amount of confidence that is not rooted in things that can be taken from us. So if you've never given your life to Jesus, you can literally just pray this prayer with us, accept Jesus into your heart, give him permission to be Lord of your life and see what he does.
So you can pray with me, dear Jesus, I give you my life. I believe you died on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins.
And on the third day you were raised and you're seated at the right hand of the father. I invite you into my life as my Lord and savior.
Fill me with your Holy Spirit. I renounce the devil.
I renounce the world and I renounce my sin in Jesus name. Amen.
We love you guys so much. We love you guys.
We love you guys so much. Thank you so much for being our best friends.
Go and be confident. Be confident in Jesus.
Be confident in who Jesus created you to be. We love you guys so much.
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. Shalom, shalom.
I love you.

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Save $80 with code SPACE80 at Talkspace.com. Hi, I'm Chris Gethard, and I'm very excited to tell you about Beautiful Anonymous, a podcast where I talk to random people on the phone.
I tweet out a phone number. Thousands of people try to call.

I talk to one of them.

They stay anonymous.

I can't hang up.

That's all the rules.

I never know what's going to happen.

We get serious ones.

I've talked with meth dealers on their way to prison.

I've talked to people who survived mass shootings.

Crazy funny ones.

I talk to a guy with a goose laugh.

Somebody who dresses up as a pirate on the weekends.

I never know what's going to happen.

It's a great show.

Subscribe today.