Happy Holidays Morons! Ft. Nick Antonyan

Speaker 1 The following podcast is a DR Media production.

Speaker 2 the good guys.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Monzo Morans.
Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast and Merry Christmas. This is our special holiday episode.
This is the time.

Speaker 2 Sorry. What?

Speaker 2 What the? Oh my god. What the fuck? Ben.

Speaker 2 What is happening? What's going on? Is that

Speaker 2 Olivia? What is it? Is that her an armed robbing or something?

Speaker 2 What's happening?

Speaker 2 What is this?

Speaker 2 Oh my God, you're cracking up. What is happening? Oh, my God.
Sick, St. Nick and Saint Nick Antonian.

Speaker 2 Yeah!

Speaker 2 Oh my God, what a surprise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Put this on, Santa. You know, do podcasts in the North Pole?

Speaker 4 My first pod.

Speaker 2 I've never done a podcast before.

Speaker 1 I know. This is a big guest.
We thought Mel Robbins is going to be big. No.

Speaker 4 Never done a podcast.

Speaker 3 No, who needs Mel when we have Santa?

Speaker 2 What is this?

Speaker 3 By the way, he is actually St. Nick.

Speaker 2 Oh, man.

Speaker 4 I had no idea.

Speaker 4 Slay was going to crash in the middle of a podcast room.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Wow.
I can't believe we.

Speaker 1 Listen, call her daddy, fucking armchair expert, all the biggest pods he could have gone to.

Speaker 1 Where does St. Nick go? Two Jews.

Speaker 4 Right here. Right here.
I'm right here.

Speaker 4 Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 Nick, Nick. Nick, it's wonderful to meet you.
Me for having virtually.

Speaker 4 I guess, because I crashed on it. Hey, buddy, how you doing? What's your name?

Speaker 3 I'm doing great.

Speaker 2 Is Santa going to be like this the whole time, or can I acknowledge that it's your friend Nick, who I haven't met? It's Santa. You're right.
It is Santa. It's St.
Nick. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay, good. St.
Nick. All right.
So how do you feel about the Jews, St. Nick?

Speaker 2 How do you feel about Jews? My favorite. I love them.

Speaker 3 You love the Jews. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Why do you skip their houses? You don't have to scream, St. Nick.
Why do you skip their houses? It's a little like.

Speaker 2 You're going to peek the microphone.

Speaker 4 that's how passionate i am about jews that's why that's why i'm screaming

Speaker 1 are you is maybe saint nick like a jew the way jesus christ was maybe

Speaker 1 listen why are you so out of breath

Speaker 4 god damn it i gotta snap out of this character fuck can't breathe in this

Speaker 4 holy fuck it's me

Speaker 2 oh my god i can't believe it

Speaker 4 oh what's up dude i try to stay in fucking santa character i couldn't do it i was getting fucking out of breath you look gorgeous.

Speaker 3 You look gorgeous. I should have.
Josh didn't tell me. I would have worn a Santa suit.
I didn't even know.

Speaker 1 But there was a lot of stuff. He dressed me up in the back.

Speaker 2 What a surprise.

Speaker 4 He dressed me up in the back. He's like, you're Santa now.
And I was like, all right, cool.

Speaker 4 I got the text fucking 45 minutes ago.

Speaker 2 Such a stage mom. He's like, I ordered the suit.
You're fucking wearing it, Nick. You're wearing.

Speaker 1 I got the deluxe one from Amazon, $75. Prime.

Speaker 4 It feels really warm in here, dude.

Speaker 2 It's okay. We'll disrobe you.

Speaker 1 um wait wait hold on let's put the put the hat back on really quick because i know um

Speaker 1 you can put it over put it over the headphones that'll be funny i'm sure it'll fit your joint

Speaker 1 um okay wait wait um uh

Speaker 1 santa santa i heard that um you had some presents for us that you wanted to maybe read about santa knows about the show and stuff and i i heard you you you brought us some presents do you want to maybe start with me i love presents uh

Speaker 4 which one is is my, what's my lines?

Speaker 4 They're all your lines. That's about these things.
These are all really mean.

Speaker 1 They're all yours. Okay.
Santa, I heard you had some presents for us that you wanted to. I do.
I love presents.

Speaker 4 Great.

Speaker 4 Josh, Merry Christmas to you. I heard you're back on antidepressants.
None of us can tell.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's not nice.

Speaker 2 That hurts.

Speaker 4 Josh, I really love your four seconds on the

Speaker 4 last of us this year.

Speaker 2 Your work is like micro-dosing too much and you want to throw up these are really fucked up stuff wow okay you're really fucking mean can you say slowly fuck you like deliver

Speaker 1 i'll deliver that defendant i wrote these fucking roast jokes for this schmo

Speaker 2 you're killing it read it slowly all right i'll start from the top great

Speaker 4 Josh, Merry Christmas, you Jew. I heard you're back on anti-depressants.
None of us can tell.

Speaker 1 Ouch.

Speaker 4 Josh, I really loved your four seconds on The Last of Us this year. Your work is like micro-dosing.
Too much and you want to throw up.

Speaker 2 That's funny. Were you on that show, Last of Us? I was.
You were?

Speaker 2 One scene.

Speaker 4 I didn't see you.

Speaker 2 Okay. He was there.

Speaker 3 It was a big get.

Speaker 4 Josh, I heard.

Speaker 4 Josh.

Speaker 4 I heard you just had a third kid. Whoa.
What a blessing. Now there's three people who can feel embarrassed for you when you're wearing wearing a shirt in the pool.

Speaker 2 Bro,

Speaker 2 how depressed are you?

Speaker 4 Why do you hate yourself so much? This is really mean.

Speaker 2 You need therapy.

Speaker 4 I'm telling you right now, you need help.

Speaker 4 This is, you wrote this about yourself, top of the morning. You had, you woke up, you had a cold brew, and you wrote really mean things about yourself.

Speaker 1 And an energy drink.

Speaker 4 Like, this is not even like this. This is this screams, I need help.

Speaker 2 I had a monster. I had a monster, and I am a monster.
Dude, this literally screams, Therapy now, please. Pretty good jokes.

Speaker 1 Okay, do you have anything, any gifts for Ben?

Speaker 2 Pretty good.

Speaker 3 Yeah, do you have any gifts for me?

Speaker 4 Ben, happy holidays. I got you a new mare for Christmas.
Mary Mom Donnie.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Thank you so much.
I thought you said you like juice.

Speaker 1 I thought you said you like juice, okay?

Speaker 4 Ben, you're getting cool in your stocking because you broke kosher.

Speaker 2 Start again. Sorry, sorry.

Speaker 4 Ben, you're getting, Ben, you're getting cool in your stocking because you broke kosher 397 97 times this year

Speaker 2 oh my whoa

Speaker 2 whoa

Speaker 2 i've been shot

Speaker 2 like oh man whoa man

Speaker 2 olivia wait wait there's one more benjo there is

Speaker 4 ben i love this is really because i actually do like your food content and i scroll on it and i look at it and it's it's Ben, I love all your food content, but speaking on behalf of your cardiologist, maybe you should try some treadmill

Speaker 2 content.

Speaker 2 Just kidding, you look great.

Speaker 2 Monaro's Munjaro season.

Speaker 4 Dude, I would not let that slide. I don't know.
I mean, I love Josh.

Speaker 2 He's

Speaker 4 top two of my favorite people in the world. That is just really fucking mean.

Speaker 2 Whoa, whoa. No, don't.
Do you want to become a fitness influencer? Do you want to become fitness influencers, Nick?

Speaker 3 I'm down.

Speaker 2 It's pretty gay, but I

Speaker 4 would love to, bro.

Speaker 4 We have the same body.

Speaker 4 We have a similar body type, so I think we can.

Speaker 2 We have the same body. Let me see your belt.
We have the same body.

Speaker 3 We do.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is what people are.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow. It's gorgeous.

Speaker 4 Beautiful. I love it.
You're slightly skinnier than I am.

Speaker 2 He looks great. Yeah.
Can I get rid of this costume, please?

Speaker 3 Are you on Zebbown?

Speaker 3 Is he on a GLP? Are you on a

Speaker 3 Minjari?

Speaker 2 He's too Armenian for that.

Speaker 1 Wait, there's one for.

Speaker 1 There's one more for Olivia, right?

Speaker 4 i uh olivia i heard you're from cincinnati hey at least it's not dayton jk cincinnati is terrible i wish they were born juiced there so i can spend less time there

Speaker 2 i hate you josh

Speaker 2 love you olivia

Speaker 2 He's making me mean to be

Speaker 4 just making me be mean to people, top of the morning.

Speaker 2 That was was beautiful. Well done.

Speaker 1 Ben, I would only make the workout content joke because you're in such good shape.

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck, dude. I'm done.
By the way,

Speaker 3 this is such a wonderful surprise. I had no idea.
Nick, Josh didn't tell me a thing. I didn't even know you were coming.
You don't have headphones in. You can't hear a thing I'm saying.

Speaker 2 But, Nick, yeah, yeah, you can't hear me. You can't hear me.

Speaker 2 What up?

Speaker 2 What up?

Speaker 3 Fuck you.

Speaker 3 If you guys aren't watching on YouTube, you're missing just.

Speaker 3 This is it, Josh. Josh.

Speaker 1 Do you want to take off the jacket?

Speaker 2 I have to. I'm dying.

Speaker 4 I'm passing out, bro.

Speaker 2 I can't do it.

Speaker 2 You're dressed up like a fucking Mr. Potato Head, like a Bilde Bear.
Is it a warm studio?

Speaker 3 Is the studio warm?

Speaker 1 No, it's a super... It's like a super thick

Speaker 2 felt. I'm sweating.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 4 All this you see is real sweat. I didn't wash my face or anything.

Speaker 1 You being a human Bilde Bear is fucking funny. Can I have the jacket? Here.

Speaker 1 This is not comfortable.

Speaker 2 Never give me this fucking thumb jacket again. Okay, sorry.

Speaker 2 Okay, you take it off the pants. That pants underneath.

Speaker 4 I don't freak the fuck out.

Speaker 1 Ben wants to know why you won't take Ozempic or Munjaro or any of that. Fuck out of here.

Speaker 4 Why the fuck would you even ask that?

Speaker 2 I didn't.

Speaker 5 Put it on.

Speaker 2 Jesus, put the headphones on.

Speaker 2 He can't hear you. I'm dressing back up.

Speaker 2 Hey, I thought I'd say that. I didn't ask that question.
question.

Speaker 2 I didn't ask that question. I was so

Speaker 2 happy. I would never ask that question.
I'm not really liking you. I fuck with your problem.
I would never

Speaker 2 see look. Yeah.
He's so excited. A wedge.

Speaker 3 You look chubby and gorgeous.

Speaker 3 You don't need Ozembic. You look gorgeous.

Speaker 4 You chubbies. Dude.

Speaker 1 All right. Here

Speaker 4 we go. 27

Speaker 4 cameras to cover you on Drake and Josh.

Speaker 4 Who the fuck is I wouldn't be talking about being heavy?

Speaker 1 No, I do. I think you're not.

Speaker 2 You're the biggest thing.

Speaker 4 You're huge. You're gigantic.
When I saw you on TV, I thought I was watching the Willie the Whale over and over and over again.

Speaker 2 No, I do.

Speaker 4 The whole time, I thought I was on the SeaWorld Live.

Speaker 2 The live feed from Shamu.

Speaker 4 Yes, exactly. I thought I was watching Shamu swim around in circles in the pool.

Speaker 4 That's literally what I thought. Every time I saw you on TV.

Speaker 1 should we that's cool should we all take off our shirts josh is that what we need should we all take off our shirts you thought shamu had we take off our shirts now shamu had a live feed no i do watch old episodes of drake and josh sometimes and and i look like john candy ate john belushi

Speaker 2 i look

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 3 it's i you know how people say josh josh real talk you were always gorgeous i swear i turned on the show just to watch another gorgeous fat man that i could see myself.

Speaker 3 I know, I'm not in the mood here, Nick, to be mean to people.

Speaker 3 I'm in the mood to be nice.

Speaker 4 You're right, you're right. You're right.

Speaker 2 You all look gorgeous.

Speaker 3 You're right. We're here.
It's Christmas. You got two Jews, okay?

Speaker 2 That's right.

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Speaker 3 Tell us, what's your favorite part about Christmas, Nick? What do you love about Christmas? Okay.

Speaker 4 I don't really know much about Christmas. Like,

Speaker 4 I'm, like, the surface level Christmas doer. You know what I mean? Like, it's the, it's the, it's the trees and stuff.

Speaker 4 Like, growing up, we didn't really do the whole presents and the whole, you know what I mean? I don't know. We were, it was, Christmas to me was like,

Speaker 4 it was like another day. I wanted it to be like that, that awesome.
Now I'm kind of treating it like that. Now I'm like trying to like buy gifts and do this.

Speaker 4 I mean, we grew up kind of like broken shit, you know, like it's a little.

Speaker 4 It's really cool when you kind of have like, you know, we have money for Christmas. I don't know how to explain it, but like our trees were dry most times because it was like used trees.

Speaker 4 When they threw out, we had, we'd grab it off the street, like on the 23rd, 24th.

Speaker 1 People are throwing them out on the 23rd.

Speaker 4 Sometimes they would, yeah. Sometimes they people would renew their tree.
So we'd grab the renewal, we the old renewal trees.

Speaker 4 Christmas tree was usually dry, nothing underneath it at all ever. I've never like woke up top of the morning, wow, my God, Christmas tree.
Now I'm trying to take it through.

Speaker 4 And now I'm like, you know what, dude?

Speaker 4 I want to buy.

Speaker 2 Right now, if you go to my house, there's toys everywhere.

Speaker 4 Swear to God, I'll face like, I will literally face my girlfriend right now, flip the camera, there's toys everywhere. I bought three RC Jets.

Speaker 4 Uh, it's all adults in your house, but it is, but I don't really know much about Christmas. The only thing I know is gifts.

Speaker 4 I never really got any gifts growing up, but uh, now I'm you know, Armenians are the original Christians.

Speaker 2 We are, we are, isn't there an Armenian? Okay, look,

Speaker 1 don't peer pressure me.

Speaker 4 All right, I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to be a better person, a little less loud.
I'm trying to, I'm trying to be peeking the microphone.

Speaker 1 by the way josh you never introduced nick introduce nick to the people introduced me before you peer pressure me into asking me christmas questions nick antonian brilliant comedian um influencer most importantly actor filmmaker writer uh soon we're going to talk about it has a big movie coming out next year.

Speaker 1 This is really exciting.

Speaker 3 Yeah, with James Franco. We weren't friends when I saw it, so I couldn't wish you congratulations, but congratulations.
It's fucking epic.

Speaker 4 Thank you. You remember that Snapchat thumbnail we got? You and I tried to kiss each other.
We didn't fully commit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, you know, it's the one thing that I know, because I've told Ben, I told you this, and

Speaker 1 you looked at me really oddly. I think it hurt your soul when I was like, I think I'll have to be.

Speaker 3 He told me this, Nick, four times in the same day, by the way. Continue.

Speaker 1 I said, I think before I die, I'll have to be with a man once, you know, to feel the love of a.

Speaker 4 Can I be a fly on the wall?

Speaker 2 I want to watch. Is that weird? No, you.

Speaker 2 that make you gay for wanting to watch our best friend, Rayla Dude?

Speaker 2 I want to fucking watch that. Fuck yeah, dude.
I'm going to have a hot spin for like 20 seconds. I'm not fully gay.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And I would only go to second or third base with a dude. I wouldn't go full home run, but not that I've thought about it.

Speaker 4 What's second or third base? Explain.

Speaker 3 Sucking,

Speaker 2 I think, is

Speaker 1 you know what? You make it.

Speaker 3 I would only suck.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't go any further than that. You make it.

Speaker 1 That sounds really ugly, Ben, when you say it like that.

Speaker 2 Okay, what about a mouth hug?

Speaker 1 I had to kiss Jon Stamos when we did that show together. And what I will tell you is, and I love John, as we got closer, and who else are you going to be gay for than Jon Stamos?

Speaker 1 We got closer and we kissed. And I thought, ah, it's just kissing.
And then I thought, it's not for me. And like, yeah, that was like the moment where I was like, okay, I do like women.

Speaker 4 So wait, you went to second base or was that third?

Speaker 1 That's first. Is it? A kiss?

Speaker 2 First. What's second base? That's first.

Speaker 1 That's first. Hands.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 H.J.

Speaker 2 H.J.

Speaker 4 Okay, playing with dick and second base. That second base you said?

Speaker 1 I think second base is like heavy petting, touching the organ hands, but not

Speaker 3 second is hands. Third is anything with your mouth.

Speaker 2 And then fourth is the bingo bango home run. All right, let's, okay.

Speaker 1 So, the Christmas, what's cool about Christmas at the Antonians, Christmas at the Antonians, is that you guys will do an amazing spread of food, but it's not like the typical, you know, roast turkey stuffing.

Speaker 1 It's like Mediterranean.

Speaker 4 That's why I don't have an answer for you when you ask me, like, Christmas, it just feels like another day.

Speaker 1 Like, talk about the spread because I love coming over to your house the day after Thanksgiving or the day after Christmas.

Speaker 2 Yes,

Speaker 4 yes, there's a bunch of food on the table.

Speaker 4 We, we Armenians are brother. What the fuck do you mean? What kind?

Speaker 4 There's because there's so many kinds. I'm Armenian, so our main celebration is food.
Like some shit happens, like Ben right now, like for example, some great thing happens in his life.

Speaker 4 It doesn't have to even be that great. You can just get out of a parking ticket or something.

Speaker 4 I'd call Ben up, dude. I just, I lit the fire up.
We're doing fucking barbecue. We're all hanging out.
We've got the homies coming over.

Speaker 4 We're going to spread as much food as possible on the table we're all gonna hang out

Speaker 4 and eat and have a good time there's uh i don't know like tomato cucumber salad there's kebabs kebabs there's like you know chicken breast usually with really good marination um rice like pilaf lamb chops yes palaf palaf is like uh basically yeah rice uh there is that pronunciation uh that that is such an armo slash slavic approach to like it's right

Speaker 1 but it's they use the English word,

Speaker 1 but they just go bolof. It's like, you know what businessman is in Russian?

Speaker 1 It's businessman.

Speaker 4 Businessman. Businessman.

Speaker 2 Businessman.

Speaker 4 But yeah, dude. I mean, it's, have you, Ben, you got to come to my house during a break.

Speaker 2 I would love to.

Speaker 3 As you're saying it, I'm literally thinking to myself, all that I, All that I love to cook is apparently Armenian food. That's my favorite stuff with all of that.

Speaker 3 And by the way, and Jews are the same. All that we do is we celebrate with food.
And what you called cucumber tomato salad, we call Israeli salad. And we make a ton of meats.
We love it.

Speaker 3 Chicken, delicious.

Speaker 4 Bring some of that delicious food to my house. And then I'll have my grandma and my mom whip some crazy shit up.
And we'll call it a Christmas. When are you back in LA? I'm in

Speaker 3 February.

Speaker 2 February. Let's jam.
You're at the bottom. Let's steward for a minute.

Speaker 4 Where are you at right now? New York?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm in New York. But I live in New York.
You do?

Speaker 2 What part? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Somewhere that people can't find me.

Speaker 2 In the city.

Speaker 4 I'll be in Manhattan on the 22nd.

Speaker 2 Oh, great.

Speaker 3 I will then be in. Fuck, I'll be in Florida.

Speaker 4 Until when?

Speaker 3 When are you going to be there again?

Speaker 4 I don't really go to New York too often. Yeah, we drop jobs, we become best friends.

Speaker 2 No, we're going to hang.

Speaker 4 Dude, I'm like, I guess I can make it up to Cincinnati.

Speaker 2 that's funny dude

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Speaker 3 Have you ever considered being vegan to get closer to Josh?

Speaker 4 Josh is is a vegan.

Speaker 1 I'm toying with it.

Speaker 3 His life is vegan, though. Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 4 You'll never be a vegan. Not with the way you eat.
I've seen him fucking throw down good. He's not.
You can't be vegan. Don't lie to yourself and don't lie to the people around you.

Speaker 1 That's cute that you talk about the way I eat. You've never lived, Ben, until you've seen Jonah Hungry and an El Polio Local.
Let me tell you, it's like...

Speaker 1 They need to put down mats, okay?

Speaker 2 It's all right.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 it's like a cow at the feed.

Speaker 4 Get the fuck out of here, dude.

Speaker 1 Dude, this kid puts it away and there's not a lot of breathing and there's not a lot of eye contact because it just becomes about the food.

Speaker 3 What's better than that meal when you're in the middle of the meal, you're so full, you're pushing further, you fucking hate yourself, but you love it and you're digging and digging and digging.

Speaker 2 Oh, you make so much fun of me. I need that.

Speaker 3 It's so good. I need that.

Speaker 1 So, Nick, talk about, I'm dying to know. So, obviously, everyone knows you from your comedy career,

Speaker 1 social media, David Dobrik. You know, you've been a staple in our homes.
Now, I'll give the backstory and then you take over. For the last four years,

Speaker 1 Nick's been talking about this movie that he wrote, and it's been in some versions of green lit in quotes, but as all indie filmmaking, you secure a budget, you get an actor, some of the money drops out, the actor has to go do something else, they have to drop out.

Speaker 1 It's really hard for the stars to align, right? So at a certain point, I go, Nick, I hope it happens, but it's a bitch. And of course, Nick would be like, I'll see you at the Oscars.

Speaker 2 I'm like, you will?

Speaker 2 And I was like, okay,

Speaker 1 I respect that level of belief in yourself. Finally, wouldn't you know?

Speaker 3 Oh, boy, optimist.

Speaker 1 Like September. Optimist.
September.

Speaker 4 Okay, I've been, I've, I've been talking to Josh about this movie for.

Speaker 4 And it's also okay to say that you didn't believe it was going to happen because nobody really did. Nobody like really believed it was going to happen ever.

Speaker 1 I don't believe anything is going to happen, though.

Speaker 4 I know. You're super pessimistic, which is okay.

Speaker 2 We're realistic.

Speaker 4 But is it really realistic?

Speaker 1 I think it's almost, I would call the odds of getting a movie financed

Speaker 1 close to impossible.

Speaker 4 You see,

Speaker 4 that's where your mind's fucking with you.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I agree. If you

Speaker 4 plant the seed that something's not going to happen, you give me a lot of really, really good advice. I swear to God, I look up to you like an older brother.

Speaker 4 Like, I would literally call you sometimes and ask you for advice because I really, really want to know what you have to say.

Speaker 4 I genuinely, you're one of my favorite people in the world. I'm, and I'm, you know, I say this to every person I'm around.

Speaker 4 They ask me who one of your favorite people is in the world, it's 100% you.

Speaker 4 I genuinely look up to you as an older brother,

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 4 sometimes what you do that I don't want to see you do, honestly, moving forward.

Speaker 4 I agree with being realistic, but you need to have some sort of delusion sometimes to get to a level that is really hard

Speaker 4 to get to, right?

Speaker 4 If I was realistic, I would have told myself

Speaker 4 10 years ago. I'm not going to, I'd go like, you know what? It's not going to happen.
Everyone's doing it. What are the odds of me making it

Speaker 4 i think

Speaker 4 one thing that

Speaker 4 i'm not giving you advice but i i i i genuinely sometimes think you should have some sort of delusion um to really be great um

Speaker 4 sometimes you like that i i i i i i i i i i

Speaker 4 because i hear you talk about it You're like, I gotta be real about something. How about how about how about ease your mind and be a little delusional sometimes? Go like, you know what? Fuck it.

Speaker 4 If it's not going to happen, someday it will. Maybe it won't happen fucking right now.
It won't happen. It won't happen the next month.

Speaker 4 It's not going to even happen in the next fucking five years, but someday it'll happen.

Speaker 4 I think you should have that delusion, bro. Because I hear you sometimes talking to me about the movie that you want to, that you wrote and you want to direct, you want to do the TV show.

Speaker 4 You need to have that delusion inside of you. You need, because the odds are impossible.
The odds are against you

Speaker 4 look at guys like elon musk and and all those other guys that are doing crazy like once in a lifetime genius but bro but but if if if if they thought realistic they would have and that this is for all the dreamers in the world this is for everyone that's a creative this is for everyone with wild dreams be as fucking delusional as possible because sometimes delusion pays off

Speaker 2 I agree. Nick, you are speaking

Speaker 3 my fucking language, bro.

Speaker 4 You should be delusional.

Speaker 3 You are speaking my language. I love this.
I love this. I do think it's part of Josh's shtick.
I don't think he's actually that down on himself.

Speaker 2 No, he's not. He's not.

Speaker 4 But sometimes.

Speaker 3 But what you're saying is gold. Yes.
It's gold.

Speaker 4 And it's true. Sometimes

Speaker 4 you have to just let go of your brain and let it, bro, because dreaming is free. It doesn't cost you anything.
All it does is cost you time.

Speaker 3 Did you know when you were bringing on Santa? Did you know that when you were bringing on Santa that you were going to get this level? My God.

Speaker 1 This is better than Mill Robinson here.

Speaker 2 This is

Speaker 2 she hasn't come out yet. We don't know.

Speaker 2 It's the bank.

Speaker 2 We don't bank who?

Speaker 4 Do I believe someday I'm going to win an Oscar? 100%.

Speaker 4 100%.

Speaker 4 Do I believe I'm going to be one of the biggest comedy actors in the world?

Speaker 2 Guarantee.

Speaker 4 It might happen within the next decade. It'll take me, sure, it might take me till 2035, if I'm not dead, obviously, to become, to become, to become top 10 in comedy.

Speaker 2 But it'll happen.

Speaker 4 It will 100% happen. And nobody can fucking tell me otherwise.
Nobody. No one can ever tell me otherwise.

Speaker 4 Because they can't take that away from me, bro.

Speaker 4 They can take away everything from me. They can't take away my fucking dream.

Speaker 3 It's just what it is. You're describing, Nick.
You're describing shoot for the stars, land on the moon. That's what I'm fucking talking about.
Okay, dude. We shoot for the stars.

Speaker 3 We're going to be really happy on the moon. If we shoot for the sky and then we fall on our ass, God, this is a great podcast.
I'm so merry with cheer.

Speaker 3 Like, what else do we do on Christmas? As Jews, we typically go to Atlantic City and we eat Chinese food.

Speaker 2 That's what Jews do. That's what we're doing.
I love Chinese food.

Speaker 3 You can go to Atlantic City and you see a bunch of Hasids bumming cigarettes, playing blackjack. That's what we do.

Speaker 2 That sounds like a great fucking time, dude. Dude,

Speaker 1 speaking of Hasids, this is, I'm going to do my what are you nuts early. By the way, we do a segment at the end end of the pod called What are you nuts?

Speaker 1 It's our gripes with people, places, and things, like anything in life, big or small, that you're like, what are you nuts? So start thinking about it now.

Speaker 1 You'll have, you know, 20 minutes to think about it. But my what are you nuts is, speaking of hasids, I was on a flight back from New York after our wonderful record with the great Oz Proman.

Speaker 1 So we're, uh, I'm, I'm flying back on United, and there is a

Speaker 1 Hasidim family, and there's this kid who's like 12 years old. And much respect to all religions, all cultures, always.

Speaker 1 But, you know, as Ben can speak better to it, there is this idea of not letting outside, too much outside culture in because it can be, what would the word, word be, Ben, like incriminating?

Speaker 1 It can foul the mind.

Speaker 3 I think it's, it, it, it would just, no, it would probably just tempt you to do something that you're not supposed to do.

Speaker 3 Like if you, if you watch movies where women are doing promiscuous things, you're going to want to do promiscuous things.

Speaker 4 That's the idea.

Speaker 2 Okay. And by everybody.

Speaker 1 And that's in almost every religion. That's for people who are very devout.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 For sure.

Speaker 1 And so there's this kid, and he's like 12, 13 years old, and there's this beautiful monitor in front of him with 500 movies and 1,000 TV shows.

Speaker 2 He watched the map for five and a half hours.

Speaker 2 Bro, that's the story of my life. Bro, the amount of times I've dozed off looking at the map is insane.
I felt so bad for him.

Speaker 1 I was like, dude, let this kid watch Paw Patrol.

Speaker 2 I don't know. He's 12.
I'm like, let him watch Stranger Things.

Speaker 1 Like, that sucks.

Speaker 2 But respect, respect.

Speaker 4 Sometimes the map is the best thing to watch on a flight. I swear to God, dude.
I don't know why.

Speaker 3 When you're not watching, when you're not watching the map, all of a sudden they bring you on a weird ass route. So honestly, maybe

Speaker 2 you're taking the direct route. You know what it's like? All of a sudden, you pop into the map.

Speaker 3 You're like, why the fuck did I go up, down, left, right?

Speaker 2 And then I lost 45 minutes. Bro, you know what it's like?

Speaker 4 I feel like

Speaker 4 it's a very like guy thing. You know, like sometimes, like, even like a fucking, the, the, the captain of like a cruise ship, you, I don't know.

Speaker 4 I feel like if I were on a cruise ship, I'd be like eyeing the captain to make sure he's steering right. You know what I mean? So I don't have to interfere and like steer for him.

Speaker 4 But like, I, I just feel like we're always trying, I don't know, it's like, you know,

Speaker 4 safe situation. I don't know if that makes sense.
Like when something's like, something goes out, like, goes down outside, you walk with like outside with like your flip-flops on.

Speaker 4 You're like watching the ruckus outside, seeing if there's anything you can like assess and like hey settle down like you know what i mean yeah

Speaker 2 i don't know if that makes sense or what i'm saying it doesn't hey nick um no

Speaker 1 i i i'm fairly it i'm confused but really but i can't explain it correctly but okay so tell us about so

Speaker 1 you finally secure the money for your movie in september right

Speaker 4 i can't get that mic break

Speaker 4 Like I know what I'm saying in my head. I don't know how to get it out.

Speaker 4 It made perfect sense in my head, too. That's the fucked up thing.

Speaker 1 That'll be the name of your life.

Speaker 2 You know, something makes perfect fucking sense.

Speaker 4 I'm like, wow, that makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 3 I'm talking about watching a map, and you're like, Yeah, you know, when there's a catastrophe outside, and you throw in your flip-flop,

Speaker 2 okay, wait.

Speaker 1 So, you get the money for the movie. How do you get James Franco?

Speaker 2 Uh, the

Speaker 4 producer reached out to

Speaker 4 his manager, and uh, we sent in an offer and the script. Um, and then uh,

Speaker 2 he

Speaker 4 wanted to do the film, but the two characters in the movie, it's Adam and Jacob.

Speaker 4 We initially wanted him to play Adam.

Speaker 4 In the complete beginning, I was supposed to play the role of Adam. But we were like, you know what? With my comedy timing and stuff, maybe I should play Jacob and he should play Adam.
He came back.

Speaker 4 He's like, I think it's way funnier if I play Jacob.

Speaker 1 And is Jacob more of the.

Speaker 4 Jacob's like the goofball. Like, he's full of life.

Speaker 1 And Adam's super depressed.

Speaker 4 Adam is super depressed. He hates his life.
He's super pessimistic.

Speaker 2 uh

Speaker 1 so tell me i love this moment tell me about the call when they say

Speaker 1 you're trying to bring it down like i feel like my face is blocked okay go ahead tell me about the call that comes in when they say frank goes in

Speaker 4 david filmed it okay but dave uh i i was um sorry thank you we're on a podcast okay okay okay okay this is this is exactly what happened i don't want to sound like a like a super no people love this i i don't want to sound like a super weirdo but

Speaker 4 i knew that day was gonna come i i i for years bro i'm telling you dude i'm telling you bro like i i just had this feeling i had it with you too swear to god ever since i was i was young i was like dude i think me and josh can like

Speaker 4 do a lot of comedy together well i

Speaker 1 do you want to tell that story

Speaker 4 because it links it links it links can i say can i say that let me let me let me show you what delusion is get ready getting back to that let me show you what the fuck delusion is right here

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Speaker 4 When I was like 18,

Speaker 4 19,

Speaker 4 I knew where Josh lived.

Speaker 2 I knew his...

Speaker 1 It was never a good start.

Speaker 4 I knew where he lived. He lived on Vineland at the Ava apartments.
Right? Was it the Ava apartment?

Speaker 1 And tell people what a real motherfucker I am. I lived in that apartment until I was 29.
That was, I mean, super humble.

Speaker 2 Super humble.

Speaker 4 I saw him. I saw him

Speaker 4 park his block BMW

Speaker 4 at the apartment building. He walked into the elevator, and then I walked in front of him, and I held the elevator door open.

Speaker 4 This is literally the idea of the elevator pitch, but I knew it was going to happen for years. Because I was a fan of him growing up.
I thought I can contribute my acting services to him.

Speaker 4 And I thought I, I, I just, I was just like, I think we would be great together. But I already knew it years before he even knew who I was.

Speaker 4 And I told him, I'm like, dude, there's this TV show that I want you to do.

Speaker 4 I think you'd be great for the role. You and I together.
We can make it hilarious. He's like, talk to my manager.
I don't do deals in elevators. Where I live.
And where you live.

Speaker 4 Elevator door closes. And I was like, all right.

Speaker 4 I was like, game on. I'll be best friends with him someday.

Speaker 2 And then,

Speaker 2 and then

Speaker 2 years later.

Speaker 4 I don't do deals in elevators. I don't do deals in elevators like five years passed and thank god he didn't recognize who i was five years passed and

Speaker 4 you know i i i uh david invites me he's like hey we're gonna film a bit with josh and i was like great

Speaker 4 and i was like okay be as funny as you can this is your moment to show him your acting services

Speaker 2 uh

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 4 So so I we did a bit and stuff together. And then I think

Speaker 4 you got my number or something. And then I was like, all right, I almost have it in the bag.
I still have the TV show in the back of my head, by the way. Keep in mind.

Speaker 4 I'm still thinking about the TV show.

Speaker 4 We started talking back and forth. And then, bro, years later, we shot a pilot together.
And that was literally the pilot that I pitched to him like a decade ago.

Speaker 4 Didn't get picked up.

Speaker 2 Don't talk about it like that.

Speaker 1 You shot, okay, hold on. You shot a pilot presentation that I was, I played a character in because I love you and I wanted to,

Speaker 1 you're making it sound like, you know, we didn't get picked up by Fox. Like you shot a little proof of concept.

Speaker 2 It was a proof of concept, yes.

Speaker 1 And I wanted to come help support.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes, yes. It was a proof of concept.
We filmed it, but it was literally the same thing I pitched him in the elevator. But it's funny how like things just come around in a circle.

Speaker 4 But obviously, like we did the pilot.

Speaker 4 We're still, you know, pitching it around.

Speaker 4 It'll get picked up someday. It's so good.
It really is really, really fantastic.

Speaker 2 Okay, so

Speaker 4 and then

Speaker 4 I told Franco, too. I was like, bro, I was like,

Speaker 4 I knew years ago we were going to work together. I knew years ago.
I planted that seed in my head.

Speaker 4 I knew for years you and I

Speaker 4 are going to be co-stars someday. I saw it in my head.
I saw him and I together, and I thought it was hilarious. I thought it was really funny.
You know, like chubby, funny guy.

Speaker 4 Franco, good-looking, funny guy. Perfect, perfect mix.
And I told him, I was like,

Speaker 4 it was like day like

Speaker 4 day 10 of the shoot. I was in the car and I was like, bro, I'm like, I knew this day was going to come.
I was like, literally, having an out-of-body experience. I'm like, I knew.

Speaker 4 I'm like, you didn't know, but I knew, I knew for years, bro, that like this, this duo was going to someday happen.

Speaker 2 Franko goes, no, I knew.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And goes, really?

Speaker 4 But, dude, this is exactly what delusion is about. Like, sometimes you have to plant that seed in your head.
You got to tell yourself over and over and over again

Speaker 4 that this is going to happen. Whatever you have planned in your head, bro, whatever you have planning, you plant that seed and someday it'll happen.

Speaker 4 With Josh Ainu, with James Ainu.

Speaker 2 Who's your next victim?

Speaker 3 Who's your next victim?

Speaker 2 Trump. Who's your next victim?

Speaker 4 I'm going to do a movie with Brad Pitt soon.

Speaker 2 Okay, I like it. That's

Speaker 2 it. All right,

Speaker 4 I'm going to do a movie with Brad Pitt very soon. I don't know when, but it's going to happen soon.

Speaker 1 It's actually Brat Pitt, and he's an Armenian guy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, him and I are going to do a we're going to do a comedy together.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 3 he owns a kebab shop. Maybe it's a rival kebab shop.

Speaker 2 Oh, I like it. Brat Pitt.

Speaker 2 Pete Mousefeld.

Speaker 2 Pit Master Pitt. That's good, Pitt Master Pitt.

Speaker 2 Pete Mausfell.

Speaker 2 master.

Speaker 1 When does the movie you guys are editing it now? And then

Speaker 4 it's it bro, it looks so good.

Speaker 1 And will you try to do like festivals?

Speaker 4 Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna do south by southwest. Um,

Speaker 4 I'll be on stage picking up my awards.

Speaker 4 Um,

Speaker 1 I don't know. Oh, it's shot already.

Speaker 4 Yeah, movie's done.

Speaker 3 It's shot already.

Speaker 4 Movie's done. Got it.
All right.

Speaker 2 Well, thank you. It's in post.

Speaker 4 It's in post, bro. It's been in post for the last couple weeks.

Speaker 3 I'm just saying, I would have loved to have been an extra. It's gone.

Speaker 4 Bro, we're filming another one in June. I'd love to have you there.
I'll write you in, actually. Great.

Speaker 2 100%. Great.
I'm in.

Speaker 4 I'll write you in, Josh in.

Speaker 1 Perfect. We'll be the good guys.
We'll play ourselves.

Speaker 4 I love it. No, I would love to have you guys play a role in the next movie.

Speaker 1 With the little time we have left, and tell me if you don't want to go here because we don't have to.

Speaker 1 We can not go here, but I'm because you have a beautiful, lovely girlfriend, but I'm fascinated by, you've told me before that since your fame, that there are, there's certain clientele for a guy like you, that women sometimes fetishize you,

Speaker 1 that they, like, sometimes,

Speaker 1 sorry, it's just the iconic.

Speaker 4 This is going to the big, the big situation.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good job, Carmen San Diego.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 But, like, whatever.

Speaker 4 Keep insulting me, dude.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. But, like, fuck it.

Speaker 1 Like, their girls would be like, you're my type. Like, I, like, you and Zach Galifanakis are my type, right? Someone said that to you once.

Speaker 2 Like, what is that?

Speaker 1 I would just love to hear about

Speaker 1 that.

Speaker 2 Ask Paige. Why? My wife?

Speaker 2 I mean, yeah.

Speaker 2 Why? Oh, because she, because I'm like you? Yeah. Oh, I got it.
Got it. Got it.
Okay.

Speaker 2 No, shit. Oh, got it.
Got it.

Speaker 4 I mean, yeah, we're not super far off, but I get it. Yeah, I'm a little on, I'm on the bigger side, obviously.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, I'm just asking because you will say, like, women will have a certain fetish.

Speaker 4 Let me, let me, guys, let me, let me say something, bro. Sometimes

Speaker 4 really, really good-looking guys just don't have the personality. I'm not saying I have a great personality, but I think I have a better person.
I'm a little more bubblier.

Speaker 4 I'm a little like funner to be around. I, I, you know, I like to eat like after like 11, 11, 11, 11 p.m.

Speaker 4 Fuck it. Like, Like, let's order dominoes.
We'll hit the gym tomorrow. Are we going to hit the gym tomorrow? I don't know.
We're just saying it so we can order dominoes and some wings and hang out.

Speaker 4 A dude that's eating cucumbers and chicken all day long is not going to be as fun.

Speaker 4 Girls want to, you know,

Speaker 4 they want to have a little bit of fun, whether it's the personality, the late night frozen pizza,

Speaker 4 you know.

Speaker 4 Ice cream

Speaker 4 ice cream, for example, right? Oh, hey, we're passing by Baskin Robbins. Let's let's pop in.
Fit guy, hell no. He's he's going straight to

Speaker 4 Erewhon getting a smoothie. He's getting a strawberry smoothie at Erewhon.
He's not going to get Baskin Robbins.

Speaker 2 Cucumbers and chicken.

Speaker 4 You know, I love Erewhon. I love Erewhon, by the way.
I love it. It's my favorite place in the world.

Speaker 2 I'm not listening.

Speaker 4 Sometimes

Speaker 4 you want

Speaker 4 the

Speaker 4 cookies and cream with

Speaker 4 a little bit of chocolate chip cookie dough with some strawberry and

Speaker 2 like a chocolate mint.

Speaker 2 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It was coming.

Speaker 4 So that's what some girls want.

Speaker 1 Ben, should we get to what are you nuts?

Speaker 3 Woody nuts. Gripes with people, places, and things.
You look on the street, you're like, what are you fucking nuts, lady? Put on some shoes. You got something, Nick?

Speaker 4 Person, place your thing. Person, place or thing.
Person, place for thing. Shut the hell up.
Let me fucking think. Person, place a thing.
My brain's slower than yours.

Speaker 4 Let me fucking think for a second. We know.
Person, place.

Speaker 2 wait what

Speaker 2 person plays a thing

Speaker 4 person plays a thing um

Speaker 2 nick's like who's a person i got it

Speaker 1 good good luck fixing the levels on this app olivia holy

Speaker 4 oh my god all right skip past me

Speaker 1 Guys, Merry Christmas and happy holidays. Thank you for listening to the Good Guys podcast.
Ben, what do you want to plug? Anything?

Speaker 4 Watch the movie when it's out. It's incredible.
It's so good. It's my breakout performance role.
All the way to the top, brother.

Speaker 2 It's called.

Speaker 4 It's called Love Meets in the Sunshine.

Speaker 4 Love Meets in the Sunshine.

Speaker 3 Love Meets in the Sunshine. I love that.
Do you? You sure it's not a gay story? It's not gay. Fuck, people keep saying that.

Speaker 2 It's okay.

Speaker 3 Love Meets in the Sunshine gives me Brokeback Mountain, you and Franco. And that's not a bad thing.

Speaker 3 That's not a bad thing. Fuck you.

Speaker 2 That's what it gives me.

Speaker 3 Love into the sunshine.

Speaker 2 Gives me that. Can I ask you something? I'm expecting he's going to groom you.
That's what I'm expecting.

Speaker 2 Can I ask you something?

Speaker 2 You can.

Speaker 4 You posted this video of you eating

Speaker 4 caviar with fried chicken. How was that?

Speaker 2 Unbelievable.

Speaker 2 Was it?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.
That's all I got.

Speaker 3 You got to make sure it's as thin. You need to make sure it's as thin as a chip.
And then all of a sudden, it's like a chicken potato chip with creme fresh caviar.

Speaker 3 And it's the best fucking what was it out of 10

Speaker 2 uh

Speaker 2 probably a 12 12 out of 10. wow 12 out of 10.

Speaker 3 but by the way everything even bad food is a 10 out of 10. actually there's bad and then there's good normal is 10 out of 10.
this is a 12 out of 10. This is above normal.
Very delicious.

Speaker 4 Highly recommend. Where do I get that in LA?

Speaker 2 Highly recommend.

Speaker 3 You make it.

Speaker 4 You didn't make that. You got it in a box.

Speaker 1 Oh, and that.

Speaker 3 Oh, you're talking about that. Okay.
Kokodak. This episode's five stars.
Otherwise, what are you, nuts? Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts. Watch us on YouTube.
Share our clips.

Speaker 3 Watch Jonah's gay movie.

Speaker 2 Mondays and Thursdays.

Speaker 2 See you fucking piece of shit next time.

Speaker 6 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 6 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.