Cole Escola

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Hello, everyone.

Welcome to another episode of Good Hang.

Very excited that we have our guest today, Cole Escola.

Cole is an incredible performer.

They wrote an original play, O Mary, which was a huge hit on Broadway and which gave them the Tony Award.

And we're going to talk to them about a lot of things today: about struggling in New York City.

We're going to talk about their love for Martha Stewart.

And we're going to talk about what are they filling their days and nights with now that they've stepped away from from their very famous play, which is still going on, by the way, and which depicts a very insane Mary Todd Lincoln with zero research.

Highly recommend.

Before we get started, though, we are going to check in with someone who knows Cole, who has a question for them.

And that person is comedy legend, incredible performer, and just the funniest, the funniest lady around, Amy Sederis.

Amy,

this is Amy.

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Well, first of all, hi.

Thank you for doing this.

I'm sure happy to be doing this.

We're talking to Cola Scola today,

and

your relationship with them

runs really deep and it's very special.

And I think a lot of people

were

very, very excited that they won the Tony and very excited to hear your name.

I was just as surprised.

Yeah, that was so sweet of Cole to mention my name.

Maybe because they owe me $5,000.

I don't know.

Do you think now where you are in life, you could do Omary?

Me?

Well, I was going to say, why aren't you, you should do O Mary.

I don't know if I have the energy anymore or that schedule.

I don't think I could do it, you know, eight days a week.

I mean, I'd like to for you lose weight, you'd get muscle.

I mean, that aspect, live audience, but man, that's a brutal schedule.

That's for a young person.

I was just at a someone's pool the other day and a little kid challenged us, challenged us to all jump in at the same time.

And my ears are still ringing.

And it's just from jumping jumping

in a pool yeah jumping in a pool i'm i woke up this morning i was like oh i have like swimmer's ear everything hurts and all i did was just gently jump into a pool

what did i do what did i do and then you're like oh wait a minute

yeah i know i was i was thinking about you because i was thinking i'm sure Cole would love for you to do oh Mary and you would be perfect in it.

But I know that the schedule is wild.

It's too wild.

And the whole point would be to work with Cole.

You know,

I work really well with them.

And

that's fun too, to discover that.

We work really well together.

I know.

So tell me about it.

I mean, I know a lot of people saw

them play chassis on your show.

So how did you start working together?

I saw Cole

orange juice commercial on YouTube.

And then I worked with Cole on your show on difficult people.

And then I was just looking for a good neighbor.

And I was like, it didn't matter, male, female.

It's just like, it's got to be this person.

It's got to be Cole.

And, you know, always came in prepared, always came in with lines in their back pocket.

Everyone loved Cole on set.

It makes perfect sense that you two love to work together and, you know, were drawn to each other like magnets.

Cause I think the same thing about you, Amy.

Like, you're such a real artist and such a genuine.

For listeners, Amy just leaned really close into the camera.

Got really like a mop to a flame.

Ping, ping, nipples.

I guess that'd be turned ping down.

Yeah.

There's never been anything self, in my opinion, about you, never been anything that feels self-conscious or even kind of aware of what's kind of expected of you.

And Cole is the same way.

And because of it, your art feels so specific and satisfying and unique.

And that's nice for you to say.

Is that why I'm not working?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

So you've never done a Broadway show?

No.

That's nuts.

I've never done Broadway.

Off Broadway, I've done, but have you?

No.

No.

Okay.

Well, sounds like we got to do something.

Oh, that would be fun.

Let's write something where it's just, it's a 45-minute show.

It starts at 6 p.m.

and we sit down the whole time in wheelchairs.

I watch that.

Grab bars, speed rails, wheelchairs.

So we've been asking people who know our guests, who are fans of our guests, to give me a question to ask them.

I mean, my joke question is always: if you could have anyone over at dinner, dead or alive, what would you serve?

Because then you could judge person on what you would make for these people.

But,

and also, and I get interviewed a lot, they'll ask, like, what do we not know about you?

And that's kind of hard because one thing about Cole that I really admire and also about young people is they're so you know they'll tell you anything you know you ask them a question they're so honest and open about it you're like oh my god isn't that private or you know like what well what don't we know about you since you've been telling your whole life story so that might for me it's i have high blood pressure not high blood pressure cholesterol people would be surprised to know that about me um

I always say Cole's an old soul, young spirit.

I have that, the joke question and the lesson.

Oh, I was curious after all this entire journey, like if Cole had to write a memoir right now, like what would the name of it be?

Like, this is, this is a huge success story, don't you think?

Totally.

That is such a great question.

For people who are

want to be performers,

this, this story of O Mary, the story of the show that Cole wrote, starred in, and then won the Tony is what is the best version of writing something for yourself.

Yes.

Success story.

Yeah, success story.

I wonder if there's going to be a movie.

If it would be really, who would be good in the

movie?

It would be like...

I say get Linda Hunt in there somewhere.

Linda, I want more Linda Hunt.

Well, I'm so fascinated by what's behind you in your apartment because you have the best taste.

I'm doing a photo shooting here today.

Okay.

That's my new miniature Dow house that I decided to have built into my fireplace because I have a lot of miniatures.

And so

just put that together last night.

What's your favorite miniature in that behind you there?

Wheelchair.

The wheelchair.

It's well-made.

It's handmade.

It's beautiful.

Crutches.

You know, that they don't make anymore.

Handmade umbrellas out of toothpicks.

Yeah, I have a really nice collection.

Bearskin rug.

Those are the only things you'd grab if there was a fire.

That's it.

Yes, you're right.

Thanks, Amy.

Thanks for your time.

Thanks so much.

Great to see you.

Bye.

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Cole, I'm so happy you're here.

But I haven't seen you.

I've obviously seen you on stage and I've seen you on TV and I've seen you everywhere, but I haven't seen you in person in a minute.

How is it feeling having just finished your run?

I know we're just catching you.

It feels

insane.

We kind of joke sometimes here about like how we always talk about like hard work and acting is working hard work.

And in many ways, it's not that hard.

This is not that hard.

No.

But what you do is very.

Eight shows a week is really like, I used to think like, well, you have your days free.

Totally.

Like, oh, come on.

But I, um,

i i

i will never i will never think

that way about broadway people or theater people ever again it is the hardest job so hard so hard and the hardest part of your day is at the end of your day so it's like you can't even enjoy your day well but i slept i i i go to sleep at like 5 a.m okay talk to me about your sleep okay so um i love talking about sleeping i'm kind of weird i'm like one of those quirky kind of people um

No, I mean, I do the show.

I'm like vibrating, hyper.

I eat after the show.

I have acid reflux, so I need to wait at least three hours.

Which one's this mine?

Raise your hand.

Is this mine?

Is this mine?

Yeah.

I just realized that I have that too, but I didn't really know what to call it.

But it was like, oh, and I would

have been burning in my throat.

I hate that.

Pass the marinara, please.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what did you have post-show?

Was it a similar meal or different?

It was,

you know, not a lot's open at like 10 p.m.

So it was either

Indian food,

which is great for acid reflux because it's very mild,

you know,

just cool spicy.

Just some, just some spicy cream sauces.

Amy Sederis always says, hot creamy meal, straight to bed.

So, yeah, that or like a bowl, like just slop and the most chaotic bowl,

just like adding ingredients, not considering what they will add up to.

Yeah, how they're going to marry.

I like oranges.

So you get your bowl or your food, you eat, and then you would then stay up till five in the morning.

Yeah, yeah.

Just like basically being on your phone, looking at your phone.

Being on my phone, watching YouTube videos,

Marco Poloing, my friends.

Do you use Marco Polo?

Yes, I love Marco Polo.

It's the best.

I thought that that was a Gen X thing, but millennials like Marco Polo.

Millennials are dipping their toes into Marco Polo.

Gen Z could not be more.

Yeah,

they're embarrassed.

They're embarrassed and Gen Alpha don't have phones.

They're like, their phones are in their heads.

Yeah, exactly.

They're

implanted in their heads.

Yeah.

But I am like kind of obsessed with the fact that you have this open spaces, like you're a wide open space now.

What are you going to do?

To To be honest, I was really,

I was really like, I got good hang on Monday.

I'll just, that's my next, I'll get there and then we'll figure it out.

So there's a part of you that like wants that structure and you're going to have to figure out how to structure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm sort of, you know, like

when you get off of a boat, for those of you that own boats,

all my audience, everyone, everyone listening owns a boat.

You know, when you get off your boat

or one of your boats, when you get off your biggest boat

and you're like, you're, you're wobbly, you're sea legs.

That's how I feel.

I used to say that about SNL.

Like, leaving SNL was like a train pulling away.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you kind of like all the gravel kicked up and it sped away.

And you could kind of hear the chatter and the laughter.

And also you were kind of like,

like, glad you weren't on the train.

Both those things.

Yeah.

Because for people who don't know, O'Mary is continuing on without you.

Yes.

Titus Burgess starts tonight.

Wow.

Again.

Yeah.

Right.

He did it for three weeks, and now he's back for six.

And then after that.

Jinx Monsoon.

And then after that, you haven't announced yet.

We don't even know yet.

So what is it like to create a character?

Good.

Yeah.

Great.

But I mean, how do you do you pick who's going to do it?

And I'm sure you're at a point now where people are emailing you and saying, I would like to do it.

Yeah.

Much Must be interesting.

I bet you're thinking about people who want to do it.

What is that process like?

It works.

Why are you doing it?

You know,

the first,

it really started after the first replacement, which was Betty Gopin,

who took this part and this job so seriously, like

trained for it.

And

I think people weren't lining up to take over the role yet because they wanted to sort of see like how it would go if someone else did it.

And she was like brave enough to be like, no, I know this would be like

the role of a lifetime for me.

So I want to jump at it.

And she was incredible.

Yeah.

And it felt like really validating to watch,

I don't know, someone

love the part.

Well, you're playing a version of Mary Todd Lincoln based on no research.

Yes.

And it's this

tour de force.

That part allows whoever is playing it to like swing for the fences.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's what I love, if I may, what I love so much about it and loved, and I saw you, only you in it, but, and I can't wait to see more people in it.

But what I loved about it is it was like this place where you could go really, really big, but it was very,

very moving.

Oh, thanks.

Really moving.

It's hard to do both of those things.

Thank you.

I think you do those things, both of those things really well together.

Thanks.

I, yeah, I, I, that was my goal was like, to

like, I, I even wrote it on my dressing room mirror, like, um,

can you love me if I'm annoying?

Oh, like, that's good.

Yeah.

Can you root for someone who's annoying?

That's what I wanted.

Because, you know,

I'm sure you feel this way too.

Like, I'm annoying.

You know, I'm too much.

Yes.

Yeah.

That is, in fact, a friend of mine has a game where she says boring or annoying.

So you categorize people into boring or annoying.

Both are, no one wants to be boring.

No one wants to be either.

That's a good one.

Give me annoying over boring.

Absolutely.

Any day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give me someone who tries too hard.

Of course.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

And I'm in the annoying camp.

And

so what I'm hearing is because the show has ended, this is like an existential nightmare for you.

Yes.

Yeah.

Got it.

Yeah.

It would be for me too.

It would be like, it's just like, what do I do with my day?

What is my life?

And you've hit, you hit the peak.

You got the Tony.

Like, there's nowhere to go but down, babe.

I know.

Truly down or or like across, like leave the business.

Yeah, across.

Like just jump in a river and

change my name.

Yeah.

Don't bring my phone.

Like,

burn my fingerprints off.

Did you feel?

I hope you felt this way, but I know collectively people that were watching you win.

Were really angry.

They were, yeah.

I mean, did you?

There was riding on the streets.

Yeah, I saw.

It was like when the Eagles won the.

The what?

Sorry, that's for the guys, for the dads, for the dads who listen.

No, but you, but you, when you won, it felt like people, it felt felt like you were carrying the hopes and dreams of a lot of people.

Okay.

Well, did you feel that pressure at all?

Pressure, I felt like

the, the best part of the whole experience was like people that I, you that I have been performing with for like 15 years at like Joe's Pub or the duplex or like, or people that came to see the shows like

so happy for me.

Like that was the best feeling.

Like I scored a goal for the team.

Yeah, everyone felt invested in it because they felt like they were part of it and they saw it when it was smaller and then getting bigger and growing.

And it felt like this, like, you know, it was a rare combination, your show, oh, Mary, of feeling indie and small and private and just for you and the entire Broadway community and

it

the entire country coming and feeling the same way too.

It was a wild combo of both those things.

The whole country came.

The whole we looked at the numbers.

We looked at the numbers.

Yeah.

There was like even like South Dakota?

Yeah, there were four people in South Dakota who like said they were going to come.

Yeah.

And they still might.

They still might.

But

yeah, now it's time to go away, I think.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Take a little break.

Oh, I it like if I'm sick of me, I can only imagine how my friends feel.

I know that nobody actually knows who I am, but the people who do,

they've had a lot of me this past year.

But I got to say, you have handled it pitch perfect, Cole.

Like you've been so funny,

like super funny, like self-deprecating, but not like falsely modest.

You've been in, like, it really feels like you've been

stealing the money.

Oh, my God.

I just, no, I'm.

Now you're ruining it.

To work with people that you respect and like this is my job.

I know like I get to play.

I get to play.

I get to come here.

And this is, this is my work.

Like, who am I to complain?

I'm so lucky.

I'm so lucky.

Like, I don't even remember who got nominated.

Like, the award is not the thing.

No, and we were like,

we were all rooting for each other.

Yeah.

You know,

the best part has been getting to know people.

I actually hate when they called my name, my heart broke.

I thought George clooney like like like my my friend my friend my friend george now he's going to lake como without this trophy and that's and i get to have it so i sent it to him i sent it i did you did i did and you sent it from the heart i sent it from the heart or i sent him a picture of it yeah yeah with my finger yeah yeah you're not gonna give him the real no no no no no no he doesn't deserve any it's too many

um and famous you you ran up there famously.

You really hustled up there.

Why?

They tell you you have 90 seconds from when they call your name to the end of the speech.

So crazy.

So I was like, I want to talk for as long as possible.

That's my.

That was your goal.

That's always been my goal.

Like when I was a kid and they would ask, like, oh, what song do you want to sing?

I would sing the 12 Days of Christmas because it was the longest song that I knew

and

still the longest song.

But so I was just like, well, I want to be able to thank everyone that I had in my head because I didn't write anything down stupidly.

Such a good speech.

Such a good speech.

But I left so many people out.

But that's okay because what you did is, like,

I think you learn a lot about somebody when they give a speech because to your point, you were aware of the time.

Yeah.

You were trying to use it to your advantage.

Yeah.

It's shocking to me how many people get up there and they go like,

anyway, and you're like, time is ticking.

Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah i can't believe you are taking so much also that thing that i think it was on this podcast that tina said to you about like that steve martin said so this is like you got to kill every time yes it's like i i do feel that yes yeah you have to be funny and you have to be gracious but you have to be like you have to produce that moment yeah and you produced it really well Thanks.

Played a good game and we just feel really good about where we're at right now.

Numbers wise, um, just gotta stay in it and um, hope for the best.

Now, I heard this straight, straight character you did on Cobear.

Yeah, do you have a straight,

a straight woman, my age voice?

Your age, no, just older, okay, like a boomer woman's stadium, like my like my mother.

Yeah, what is that kind of character?

Well,

I'm a little bit um hoarse, so my

voice is a little

lower than I'd like it.

But

we were going to go up

Saturday and

just see what Tracy and them were going to cook.

And

just sort of just nothing.

For people who can't see, Cole is

touching their head a lot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And

you're right.

Just a little aggrieved.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And a tiny, like a tiny headache.

Yeah, tiny.

Tiny headache, just thinking about

just like talking.

That's my favorite.

I mean, when I was growing up, just hearing

small talk

between women at the store was my

just heaven.

Well, you were raised

primarily by women.

Yeah.

Yeah.

By my mother and my grandmother.

And I loved my grandmother's friends and, you know, complaining about health issues.

Okay, but you grew up in Oregon.

Thanks.

And

that's not, that's not, I'm not trying to make you feel bad.

No, you grew up in Oregon.

You got in a community theater.

You made your way to New York.

Yeah.

What was like the first, like, can you just paint a picture of when you first arrived in New York City?

How old?

18.

Yeah.

I mean, fresh from my like hometown, you know, and then the first place I lived was the 92nd Street Y on the Upper East Side.

Now, imagine an 18-year-old

little gay kid coming to New York City and that is their first impression of New York, the Upper East Side, thinking like, wow.

I can't wait to have fun.

Old men.

Old men.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

These restaurants close at 6 p.m.

This is amazing.

Yeah.

And

why did you end up over there?

I went to,

we can bleep the name of the school out.

Okay.

Boop.

For one year, one calendar year.

And their dorms were at the.

And why did you drop out of college?

Couldn't afford it.

Like, I couldn't even afford to take out any more loans.

Was that a stressful?

Were you thinking, like, this is a nightmare that I can't?

No, no, no.

I was heartbroken.

I was like, I didn't know how I was going to get back to New York because I sort of

figured this out the first summer I came back home.

I was working at a church camp with my brother, mowing lawns, digging post holes, washing dishes.

And

then I found out like,

they're not going to give you any more loans because you don't have, unless you have a guarantor.

Right.

And all the adults in my life were poor.

Yep.

And I hated them for that.

I was like, it was so juvenile to be like, well, maybe if you'd made better life choices, mom,

I could live out my dreams.

And now I'm like, thank God I don't have student loans.

Yes.

I don't have student loans because I couldn't afford to go to school.

I mean, rejection is God's projection.

Thank you.

I love when you came up with that.

I can't say that.

I came up with that.

I remember when you came up with that.

What did you do, though, at 19, then you just worked hard?

Yeah, I went, I worked at the scholastic bookstore playing Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Wow.

And I mean, I worked at the cash register as well, but that was, I I really came alive when I played Clifford,

you know.

Uh but you were living with who then like were you like renting a room from renting a room um in

in a railroad apartment where a complete stranger had to walk through my room to get to his bedroom.

Sure.

And often like my I had like one season of Sex in the City on DVD and he would always, I would, I was always missing one disc

and then it would appear back the next day and then it would disappear and it was he took it he took it it was a straight guy and he was like jerking off to it oh because of the sex scenes episodes

and this was like i mean this was what year 2008

so

porn was available online yeah he could have but but there was just something

about kim cattroll i guess yeah probably that hey i get it hey i get it hey i get it we both do we both get it um when did you first get paid to be an actor?

Other than Clifford.

Well, but my first paying job was when I was 11.

Really?

I was in

a regional production of The Grapes of Wrath.

I made $50.

Total.

Total.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yep.

I played Winfield Jod.

Okay.

My lines were,

Ma, Ma, look, over there.

Great.

Yeah.

That's $50.

$50.

But I did come up with,

I've said this already to Mo Raka.

I'm sorry for those of you who.

Oh, God, then we're going to cut it.

If you've already put it on Raka.

But I think you'll appreciate this.

At 11, I came up with, there's a scene where everyone's like saying grace over food.

And I came up with stage business of like.

opening my eye and stealing a piece of food.

Oh my God.

I have a similar story, which is when I was about that age, 10 or 11, I was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

And I have to.

Great comedic part, by the way.

Hilarious.

Hilarious.

Somebody laughs.

And they, because it was the 80s, they just gave us a real dog.

They were like, hold this real dog.

You know, it was just someone's dog.

And I had the dog the whole day and no one fed it.

And it was, and I would never do that now.

Yeah.

But someone just gave us a dog.

I was 10.

And there's a moment where Dorothy says, like, where the tornado starts, and Dorothy says, Toto, Toto, where are you?

Yeah.

And in the first show, I was holding Toto and I got a laugh,

but not the kind I wanted.

Right, right.

They were laughing at me.

Yeah.

And did you, and you clocked that right away?

So in the second show, I put the dog down and I walked a few feet away from it.

And then I said, Toto, Toto, where are you?

Everyone was like, now that's clever.

And it was like, a star is born.

And it's so true that that feeling when you're like, wait, I can do something else.

The mischief part.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

did you feel like,

was there ever a time where you were like, well, I don't want to be an actor because it's not fun?

Because the way I felt was like, oh,

being a performer means, you know, acting school and doing our town.

And I was like, I don't think that's for me.

So I guess I don't want to perform.

I think, yeah, I didn't know anyone who was an actor.

Or like, I didn't think it was a job

that I could do.

But I think even from a very early age, I was like, whatever I want to do, I want to be in control of it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, like, I, I wasn't good at auditions.

Yeah.

Same.

Because it was like, I don't know if you don't.

No, I, I, whenever I get sides, I'm like, oh, you know, who should get this?

Exactly.

God.

And I call my manager and I'm like, are they seeing Gideon for this?

How about Taylor Trench?

Because he would nail this.

And also

as a writer, I feel like

I don't, I need to know,

I need to really trust the writer to, to, or, or like feel like I really understand the right.

Cause I think so much of acting, you have to be a little delusional and be like, oh yeah, I know how to do this.

Yeah.

I know what they're going for.

When I read a script, I'm like, oh, I'd love to sit down with the writer and

see why.

Now, why is she saying this?

Yeah.

I know.

You have to, you have to, yeah.

You just have to kind of overcome insecurity and just assume that everyone is supposed to be looking at you.

I actually know how to do this more than the writer knows.

Yeah.

I struggle with it all the time about like working for others.

We've, we've all

witnessed that.

We've watched you on sets sort of flounder.

And we're all just

like,

Oh, get those lines out.

Great scene where you're acting and you panned the other side.

It's like, girl, sweating.

Sweating.

Sweating.

You knew it, girl.

Yeah.

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We worked together on a show called Difficult People.

Speaking of great writers, Julie Klausner and Billy Eichner and Scott King, and we were all working together on a show, and that was a lot of fun.

That was so much fun.

That was like, and that was a situation where, like,

I trusted Julie completely.

Yes.

And like, the character was, I just got it immediately.

And the character was Matthew, this

basically demon Twink.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Full of himself, musical theater

villain.

Yeah, he was like, gay villain.

In a way that, like,

like the way that, like, you said, oh, you understand, you have a love for

women.

Julie has a love for awful gay guys.

Yes.

Yeah.

Totally.

A deep love and respect for deep love and respect for respect.

And she is so good at writing that those kind of characters that you, you know, you're kind of rooting for and also afraid of.

Yeah.

Yeah.

At the same time, like you don't want to leave the room while they're around.

Yeah.

They'll destroy you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was a really good experience.

That was so fun.

Yeah.

And

I feel like.

God, we had so many laughs.

This is what I'm saying.

Like we just get to play.

We get to play.

Yeah.

I mean, but it's also hard.

It's hard work.

It is, but it's like so rewarding too.

And it's like,

like when I think of like, you know, like where I came from and like what my parents did to like, like, how dare I complain?

You know, how dare I, you know?

And someone's like, ma'am, your coffee is ready.

I'm just trying to hand you your coffee.

I did, I just asked you if this was your coffee.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

I won't be tipping, but thank you.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you have a.

You know who I heard doesn't tip?

No, I'll tell you later.

Oh.

I'm just getting on.

Did you, have you ever rated tables?

I worked in the restaurant industry.

I I was a busser.

And then

I worked at a bakery.

I was a counter person.

I feel like you would be very good front of house.

I'm not because I don't.

Well,

so I also did sex work, breaking news.

And that was.

And that's front of house.

That's front of house.

That's all how.

That's front and back.

Front and back of house.

Of house.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Price difference.

What do you want?

You want the front of house or the back of house tonight?

50

50 bucks for the back house.

You'd do a whole thing where you pretend that they weren't on the

you didn't have a reservation for them.

And it'd be like, your name's not on the list.

It's not on the list.

Check again.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was way, way, way, way less demoralizing than

service job.

Yes.

Like

because A, sex work, I was in control.

Like, I named my price.

It was also like the money for the time spent was way,

you know, making $100 in an hour.

And, you know, this was to this was a different time, okay?

This was a long time ago.

That was a lot of money back then.

Okay.

That was a lot of money back then.

This is pre-Tony.

This is pre-Tony, okay?

So I couldn't charge what I could charge now.

Now I could get it easy, $140.

Of course, that Tony bump.

Please, the Tony Pump.

But like that versus making

$10 an hour, having people yell at you because their chocolate cake is dry.

What I'm learning is like control, creative control, especially.

Control of your time.

Yeah.

Structure is very important to you.

And therefore, you use all of those.

I use people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I use people.

That's the only thing we're going to pull from this is you saying I use people, and we're going to put it on a loop like a boomerang.

Just like keep injecting it throughout the whole episode.

And why is that?

Seven times.

I use people.

Yeah.

It's going to be like a Howard Stern clip that we play over and over again.

That Fred presses a button and then it goes, I use people.

No,

but you took all the strengths to make the show that you made because it's like you created.

I mean, it is so hard to write a show.

And you've done a few of them.

Yeah.

I've been in New York for 20 years this year.

Yeah.

And

I probably started writing and performing like my third year here.

So yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know it's it's and I just couldn't be more grateful for like

because that experience, it's like we got to go to the bottom.

I look back on it.

Wait, wait.

I just want to say like

keep going.

Keep going.

If you're out there and you're thinking, is it going to happen for me?

It will.

It absolutely will.

Sir, we got your test results back.

And

I've been trying to tell you.

Thank you so much.

Yeah.

I need to, we really need you to see a doctor.

But

what I want, so I talked, so when you,

when you thanked Amy Sederis,

that was a big deal for a lot of people.

And it was, and you thanked many people in your speech.

And for people that know Amy Sederis' work, what it felt like was,

I can't explain it other than this genuine moment of a friend who was there for you and you thanked a lot of your friends who were there for you for a long time yeah that's really it was really special to to feel i yeah i i really want i i thought like who do i want to hear from the next day

like

who

like like john and claude like all of my friends that i thanked were like what

like they're they sent me a picture of their like jaws hanging open like i you i can't believe you thanked me.

But

my friends are the most important people in my life.

And I would, you know,

what am I going to like, you know, pull up some corny ass teacher from.

Sorry.

You've never had a teacher.

You've never had a teacher.

Not once.

You've never had a teacher.

You brag about that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, but, but also you saying that that's so, that's so interesting that you say that.

Who do you want to hear from?

Because also when you mention Amy and John and Jeffrey and Claudia, like you're also like sending a signal of like, this is the kind of artist I am.

Because those kind of artists, Amy specifically, Sederis, you know, who when I when I came to Chicago, she was the senior.

Yeah.

Like she was on stage.

She was Queen B.

She was Queen B.

And

she, like you, had this true artist vibe, which was like they,

they, they make commercial work that people will love, but they're making it for themselves.

Like there's not a feeling of what we should do that's going to work or it's interesting.

It's just like, I just want to do what me and my friends will think is good.

And we talked to Amy before this podcast.

Oh, boy.

Let me have some Coke Zero.

And she loves you and talked about how

thrilling it was to hear her name and how she was watching it with everybody.

And it was very exciting.

And your appearances on her show were so stupid and funny.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Incredible wigs.

Oh my God.

The best.

Yeah.

Amy is such an expert on wigs.

And I'm sure you are at this point too.

I've given up a little bit.

Okay.

Okay.

How, uh, do you, I'm sure you know how to put on your own wig.

For people who don't know how to put on their own wig, what are some tips?

Honestly, some people just don't have a face for wigs.

And I have the perfect face for wigs.

You do have a great face for wigs.

Look, I'm not saying I'm stunning.

You are stunning.

But I'm not saying that.

Okay.

You said it.

Okay.

I'm not saying, you know, I have a lot of faults.

My teeth don't match.

None of them look like they belong together.

But my face is perfect for wigs, and I can admit that.

It is.

Every single wig changes your face.

Thank you.

And

every single time you put on a wig, I just feel lucky that I get to do it.

Sorry.

Sorry.

It's just, it's play.

It's play.

It's play.

Like, it's my, my job is to play.

Like, are you playing?

Like, I show up.

You're kidding me?

Every day I'm like, pinch me.

Like,

ew, ew.

Ew.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

But okay, so you do Amy's show.

Uh-huh.

You thank her at the Tony's.

And she had a couple questions for you.

Great questions, of course, because it's Amy, a genius.

She had two questions.

The first one was,

if you could have a dinner party for anyone

alive or dead,

what would you serve?

I hate cooking.

Oh.

Well, I hate doing dishes.

Yeah.

And

I'm also someone who, if the recipe says like it takes an hour and 15 minutes, I need four hours.

Yeah.

Because I'm

I'm taking, I'm doing every step like four times in my head, repeating it back to myself, Marco Poloing a friend, explaining it to them.

Taking notes on that Marco Polo.

What I'm going to, yeah, taking notes on that Marco Polo.

I would make

mashed potatoes.

A big bowl of it.

Big bowl of mashed potatoes.

And who would be at your dinner party?

I know it's a hard question.

Yeah.

The self-or or dead party.

Okay, Martha Stewart.

Oh, but then I wouldn't want to.

But you'd want her when she was dead.

I would want her dead.

Yeah.

Half dead.

Dying.

Yeah.

I would want to serve cold mashed potatoes to dying Martha Stewart.

That makes sense.

That's my dream dinner party.

Her last bite.

I would get to say, like, you know, I served Martha her last bite.

Yes.

And she was like,

cold.

You know, she,

I was obsessed with Martha as a child.

Ooh.

I was, was

her her show from the 90s, you know, where it was like in her home.

Yes.

And she would be like, while the pie's baking, let's retile the roof.

It was like, she just assumed like, you can do it.

There's time.

Yeah.

It takes 45 minutes for the pie.

That's plenty of time for the roof.

Get up.

That's the best thing about wasp-y energy, which I never knew growing up.

I wasn't around it.

And when I was finally around it in college, I couldn't believe how much the women got got done in a day yeah

it was a lot

of mucking about and getting things done she's in a cranberry bog you know while her steak's marinating yeah she's doing it she's really doing it and then but i would i would i was i loved her show so much and i wanted to be like a connecticut wasp you know but um I would spend all my birthday money on Christmas decorations

because I wanted to, you know, copy her.

Because Christmas was the most important holiday.

Christmas

is the most important holiday.

But

I met her a year ago

at this little dinner.

And we were sitting, we were alone at a table because no one else had sat down yet.

And I'm like, don't talk to her.

Leave her alone.

She doesn't need to know, you know, how much she means to you.

And she just looks over at me and she goes,

Are you married?

And I was like,

Yeah.

And she's like, I haven't seen the show yet, but I love history and I, I, I'm dying to see the show.

She hasn't come, but it's fine because

that's, I have that.

I have the, the moment of the memory of her looking at me from across the table and saying, are you married?

It was

like, yeah.

Anyway, so yeah, that's to answer the question, I would serve her dying.

Dying Martha Coleman.

Do you, this may, this leads me to this question, which is, you have so many people have come to your show.

Yeah.

And you are a big fan of a lot of the people that came to your show.

Who are who stands out as people that like was like, wow, I can't believe they're here?

Well, Rosie O'Donnell was big for me because I would run home after school every day to watch her show.

And that's like, that was my only avenue to seeing Broadway performers

was her show, you know?

That was big, Elaine May.

Yes.

That was huge.

That's it.

Everyone else could fuck off for all I care.

Get out of here.

Get out of here.

Yeah.

But you would greet people after your show is so tiring.

Oh, I love it.

You do.

I do.

I do.

Maybe because I wrote it.

Yeah.

So it's like, it feels from me.

Yeah.

So it, if, maybe if I was just doing.

just acting in someone else's show i'd be like can i please just go home i felt a little codependent when i got the chance to see you after your show.

And I felt a little codependent about like taking up your time because I just felt, I knew, but you were so generous.

And I was like, wow, Cole's being so generous with their time after the show because I just felt like, oh, you must be so tired.

You have to get to bed.

But now I know you had hours before you would sleep.

Hours before I would sleep.

And also, like, the thing

people after the show are like,

I know you hear this a lot, but you're, I'm like, I don't, it's never enough.

A, we're not performers because like, like, you know what, I'm fulfilled.

I don't need any more validation at all.

Now I just do it for you.

No.

And also like

every show, I'm, I'm working my ass off.

Like I, I want to hear after every show feedback, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so I would, I would, I'm sure the stage manager and director were so sick of me.

I would be like,

just like, I would come off stage gasping for notes, being like, scene three.

I know I didn't get there.

I know I didn't get there, but I think I stuck the landing at four, right?

They'd be like, yeah, it was a good, it was the show.

It was the show.

You've done it 500 times.

It was just like the rest of them.

But that's the way to keep it fresh.

It's like you're just constantly tweaking it.

Yeah.

And, and

the other question Amy Sedaris had was: if you were to write a memoir of your, you know, past year and a half and you had to title it today,

what would it be called?

Enough already.

Enough!

Enough already.

My year on Broadway, the hard way.

A story of love and redemption.

Keep going.

Love and redemption.

Through the eyes of someone who's seen it all and lived to talk about it.

Or

slash.

enough already.

Bits and bobs.

Okay, I have a few quick lightning round questions to ask.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

What is your,

and this is just fun.

These are just, this is just fun.

These are just for fun.

Okay, I can relax now.

Yeah.

That was very serious.

Yeah.

I felt really

sick.

Yeah.

The earlier stuff we do have to send to the government, but this we can just keep for ourselves.

Oh, they're, honey, too late.

They're listening.

Well, let me ask you this: have you ever sent the wrong text?

Oh, yeah.

Because it's the worst nightmare.

I've sent

there was someone that I had a crush on who I was very attracted to.

And I went to send a picture of him to my friend.

Yeah.

But instead, I sent him a picture of himself.

Yeah.

And then quickly

was like,

I think I said something like, i love this shirt like where'd you get it just sweating bullets

yeah oh yeah have you ever sent a screenshot of a convo i similarly like a screenshot and then sent it to the person no no i don't think i've done that i've almost done that and i you know i've i've definitely heard tell

and i've i yes and i've tried to cover it by being like

can you see this

i said the thing saying, Wait, can you, can you read this?

As if something

was wrong with my phone and I was testing my phone.

Well, now they know you got to cut this out because, yeah,

eight of your friends right now are like, Can you see this picture?

Bitch, I really thought she was going.

And they were like, Yeah, I do.

And you're like, oh, good, because my phone has been weird and I'm trying to figure out if my pic, if my screenshots were

anyway, love you, love you.

Thank you so much.

So happy you're back with that guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So what is your go-to?

Do you use eBay?

Yes.

What's your go-to search term?

What do you search eBay for?

I guess my most used word is vintage.

Yeah.

Or I'll just type in an actress's name and then sort by price highest first.

To get the highest price.

Yeah, because that's what's going to be, you know, like, oh, this was her couch.

That's smart.

That's how I've, you know, I have Marlena Dietrich's library card.

You do?

Yes.

I've talked about this.

I told Mo, I told, you know, this, Amy.

Come on.

You already told Mo this.

I told everyone.

And by the way, that reminds me, beautiful homage to Bernadette Peters.

Oh, thanks.

Beautiful, beautiful.

And you heard from Bernadette, yes.

Yeah, yeah.

And that was the most

beautiful I've ever felt.

She said,

I thought they looked absolutely lovely.

Although when I wore it, I wore my chest hairs in a different pattern.

Perfect.

But more importantly, congrats, Cole on the Tony.

Yeah.

Oh, what a

class act.

How?

Why is Bernadette Peters important to you?

I mean, as a kid, she just was Broadway, you know?

Like, and

I don't know.

Just, I just,

she's, she's show business, you know.

My dad used to say, like, make a joke.

He'd be like, the only person I would leave your mother for is Bernadette Peters.

That's, I, I, now, the, the term a little.

Why are you telling me?

This is weird.

Like, like, picking me up for my, my, like, soccer.

Like, like, not letting you, like putting his hand on the door before you, like, you're about to leave.

He's like, wait.

The only person I would leave your mother for is Bernadette Peters.

Have a good day at school.

You're like,

I'm six.

I'm six.

I'm trying to go to sleep.

You're whispering this.

You're whispering this into my ear.

Julie Klausner is the one that I first heard the term a little something for the dads when she was doing on her podcast a Tony's recap of Aladdin.

Aladdin had performed at the Tony's and, you know, they had the sort of like, you know, the girls sort of like shimmying.

And she said like, oh, you know, a little something for the dads to show, like, hey, Broadway is not just for, you know, the women and those gay guys.

We got a little something for you two, fellas.

And I feel like Bernadette is, you know, she's got a little something for the dads.

She has a little something for the dads.

She does.

It works for the dads.

Gorgeous.

Okay.

But

lightning rounds.

Yeah, lightning rounds.

Sorry, not doing this fast enough.

No, me.

If you could cast a modern-day politician as Mary Todd Lincoln, who would it be?

Lindsey Graham.

Would probably, you know,

he'd probably learn a lot about himself.

That's right.

He might like wake up and be like, it would be hard to get him to be.

Oh, my God.

Is that what he sounds like?

Yep.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, Mary.

That's what he would call it.

I've been so bad.

I'm sure sorry, everybody.

You know, playing this part has taught me that it's not okay to judge, lest ye be judged.

I've been so bad.

I better quit, but I'm not gonna.

I extended my run.

I'm so bad.

I hope I don't get spanked for it.

I bet

one of you

men better not spank me.

And I better not pay you to do it.

And I don't like to be chased either.

Okay.

What about a famous act who would play the the role of O'Mary in a dramatic film?

I'm sure you've thought about this.

I bet there's talks about making a movie.

If there are, honey, I'm out of it.

I'm out of it.

Amy Sedera suggested Linda Hunt.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Right?

Linda Hunt.

Absolutely.

Incredible.

Cherry Jones could do it.

Cherry Jones.

Cherry Jones.

She could play Lincoln, too.

That would be really interesting.

She would be amazing, Miss Lincoln.

Or, yeah, a Muppet.

Or a Muppet.

Miss Piggy.

As Mary Todd Lincoln, and then everyone else is human.

That's a great idea.

Yeah.

Actually, cut this because

I'm talking to Disney tomorrow.

It's not Disney.

Is this Disney?

I think they're Disney now.

Disney.

Guys, can we look that up?

I hope they had good lawyers because those Muppets don't know what they're signing.

No, I don't.

Yeah.

That's the one that you turn.

Yeah.

Oh, jeez.

Do you believe in psychics?

Do you go to psychics?

Have you ever had a psychic tell you anything that came true?

I always quasi-believe astrology and all that sort of stuff.

So what you sign?

I actually don't believe it.

Right.

I'm a Sagittarius.

Okay.

Virgo moon.

Gemini rising.

Okay.

I don't know much about it either, but I am a Virgo.

That's my sun sign.

And you don't know your rising.

My rising is Aquarius.

Okay.

And my moon is Leo.

Of course.

Of course.

Had to go there.

Favorite New York restaurant.

Ooh, Uncle Geno's.

Is that real?

No.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Sunday,

5 p.m.

before the dinner rush, getting that corner table at Uncle Gino's.

Ask for Gino.

Ask for, yeah, he's always there.

He's always there Sundays early.

Get there early.

Get the corner table and just sit and people watch.

I love to just sit and have, and eat my pasta and just sort of people watch.

Cause, you know, actors, we absorb.

Okay, ABCV.

ABCV is my real answer.

Okay, great.

What is that?

It's the, you know, ABC Kitchen?

Yeah.

They have a vegetarian vegan restaurant.

Are you vegan?

I am.

I was vegan, and then I started eating eggs last year because I was so hungry from the shows.

Yeah, of course.

You eat your protein.

I was, for some reason, I was just craving eggs like a snake.

You're lucky you're not a...

50-year-old woman because we need like 47 grams of protein a day.

Do you really?

Or else your bones just like crumble?

You turn into a bag of dusty bones.

We have to eat 45 eggs a day.

Oh my god.

And then lastly, if you had to choose just one cult to be in,

how would you design your cult?

And what would be your...

Like if I was the cult leader.

Oh, great question.

Would you like to be in it or would you like to lead it?

I would like to be like the first lady of the cult.

The Sheila to the Bhagwan.

Exactly.

You'd like to be the lieutenant.

Yeah.

The Mary Todd Lincoln.

Yes.

Yeah.

And you'd like to keep like promoting the cult leader and being like, they're really important.

You have to, you have to pay.

The one who's doing all the work.

Hyping.

You'd have all the power.

No, yeah, all the power, but no glory.

Sort of just behind the scenes being like, we got him.

You know, like in the back of a black car.

I mean, I always love those cult documentaries where the

second in command is talking to us about how incredible the cult leader is, and then they finally reveal the cult leader.

And you're like, huh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, Jared?

Yeah, Jared?

Jared?

Jared, that's the guy guy we're talking about.

Wow.

Like, they're always described as very charismatic and hypnotizing.

And then the picture is just like, I mean, I guess those people are like agents, essentially.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're the hype.

You're going to, oh, my God.

You're going to love it.

Oh, God, he's so hot.

Just wait.

And then the last question is for today.

What are you?

Okay, you've got free time.

You're, you, you've got, you're going to have to put some structure in your life now moving forward.

Um, I'm not gonna ask you what's next yeah because i feel like it's too soon yeah i i just don't know yeah you know but i want to know what are you watching listening reading and what are you doing my kids no

oh no not doing i mean listening sorry you read i answered before can we cut that i'm reading my kids

listening to my kids

i just want to focus on my kids

i'm having dinner with my kids i finally get to have dinner with my kids i get i get to just be a mom

which is the most important role it's the most important job no but sorry what am i watching listening to you what do you what do you do what makes you laugh because you are you have you're so funny and you have so many funny friends and like like what do you what do you laugh at uh really just my my friends like yeah i wait for them to make me laugh on marco polo john early does this bit

where he will send me a marco polo as if he's meaning to send a message to someone else.

But it's this elaborate thing where it's like he's secretly planning with all of the rest of my friends to kill and cook and eat me.

Like,

you know, like, you know, before the Tony's, he'll send like a message being like, okay, so hi, Claudia.

So.

Cole fully thinks they're going to the Tony's.

So that's fine.

I am a little worried about getting them out of the dress just in terms of grilling.

It'll be hard, you know, like stuff like that.

That is so fun.

It makes me laugh so hard every time.

And it

complicated bit.

A fun, complicated bit.

And it goes to show like what you said earlier, which is like your friends love you.

Yeah.

You love your friends.

Yeah.

And you guys can deeply tease each other.

Yeah.

Like that's that to me is like a big love language.

Yeah.

And it goes to show that like you're very safe around each other.

Yeah.

And we, it's just play.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

We'll be right back.

There's no, there's, we're not on the air.

All right.

We're not on the air.

This isn't live.

Mark, back to you.

Anyway, that's been Cole as Cola.

Mark, thank you.

How's it going out there, Mark?

How's the weather?

Are you doing okay during the hurricane?

People should know, by the way, it's like 102 degrees today.

I know.

And I'm in flannel.

You're in long,

princely-like flannel.

Yeah.

Cole, thank you so much for

having me.

Thank you.

So, and congratulations on your huge success.

I was not going to say huge boner.

Sorry.

Cut that out.

We can't.

It was in a part of the tape here.

We have to make it a sound clip.

And it's, I use people

and huge boner.

Yeah.

We have to make it another sound clip.

I'm so sorry.

It's all right.

Thanks.

That was so great.

Thank you, Cole.

That was so fun and funny.

And it's just

for this polar plunge, I just want to point you towards more cola scola content because there is so much funny stuff on YouTube, whether it's the orange juice commercial that me and Amy Sederis and Cole referenced,

or it's the serial killer documentary

fake videos that Cole made with Jeffree Self and others.

And just there's so much content that they've made over the years that is so funny and stupid and weird and so many different wigs and they have a face for all of them.

So

check that out and thank you so much for listening to this episode and every episode and thank you so much for listening in general and for being so nice.

Okay, bye.

You've been listening to Good Hang.

The executive producers for this show are Bill Simmons, Jenna Weiss Berman, and me, Amy Poehler.

The show is produced by The Ringer and Paperkite.

For The Ringer, production by Jack Wilson, Kat Spilane, Kaya McMullen, and Aalaya Zanares.

For Paperkite, production by Sam Green, Joel Lovell, and Jenna Weiss Burman.

Original music by Amy Miles.