Tattoo Parlor Coffee

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We're at Dark Horse, which is a cafe.

A coffee place.

This might be the most unusual coffee shop I've ever walked into.

Well, that's because it's a coffee shop in the very back that's hidden away from you, but in the front, it's a tattoo parlor and a barbershop.

We walked in and I couldn't see coffee anywhere.

And there was a woman sitting by the door that looked at us and it felt like a shady deal.

She's like, hey, you want some coffee?

It was fun.

And I was like, we were like, yeah.

She's like, hey, follow me.

We are the back of the building.

And then she took us into the back of the building.

This is like their parking lot.

Oh, this is it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's walk back here.

She was like, oh, yeah, back here, it's going to be like an event space, but it's also a parking lot.

And as she was telling us that, she dropped a whole cup of coffee into the ice.

She had my iced coffee

and she was pouring ice into it, and she flipped it into the whole ice container.

Yep, and then that ruined her day.

Yeah, and I feel so bad for her.

But this is all, so I think

we were trying to figure out what this used to be.

Oh, we can just walk over here and hit the neighborhood.

Yeah, let's do that.

Um, because this is too big,

this is from a high school.

No, like this, the turf kind of thing.

Yeah, it's from a football field or something.

Yeah, but the back of this, this is

so you can sell hot dogs.

Like, this is like, yeah, yeah, it's almost like this was a field or like some kind of athletics complex, and that's where like the kids sell soda and stuff.

Or the beer bar.

Yeah, that's what that is.

But we get it.

So like, could be hot dogs or soda too, dude.

Hot dogs are soda.

Right, but have you, but also, think about this.

It could be beer.

But this all just looks like it used to be other stuff.

I just don't know what it used to be.

Yeah, they're weird.

We're just in like a back.

There's lockers?

I think we're at a high school.

This is what Bronx Shabbat is.

So this place is called Dark Horse.

They need to mark their parking lot better because we drove by it.

Yeah.

We had to park around the corner of the street.

We're at Dark Horse, and the reason we're here is because Jeff was intimidated.

Yeah, so I've driven by it a few times, going to different coffee shops, and it intrigues me because I love tattoos.

My problem with tattoos, though, we talked about this with Eric yesterday, actually.

I love tattoos, but I hate tattoo parlors and most tattoo artists.

And so

I'm always a little intimidated.

I'm always a little intimidated by tattoo parlors, just because it's always a vibe.

Yeah.

And so the idea of a coffee shop and a tattoo parlor together excites me, but also kind of

intimidated me.

And so I wanted to go, I wanted to roll up with my crew.

I'm glad to hear you say that because walking in, I thought the same thing.

I was like, I don't don't feel like I'm intimidated or feel out of place.

I'm out of place everywhere, so I'm used to that.

Yeah, but I felt extra out of place and weird walking into there.

So it's like, this, this is like unfamiliar territory.

This is not what I was expecting.

Yeah.

It's just weird.

Yeah.

Left here.

Sure.

Okay.

It could be weird, good, could be weird, bad, but it is definitely weird.

No, and I'm not saying this to like dissuade people from going.

It's just, it's not what I was expecting.

When you walk in, to give you the lay of the land, when you walk in, it's like walking into

a venue with a little stage off to like the side and just tables.

Yeah.

It looks like there's one of those Austin breweries.

And there's no coffee anywhere.

Right.

You have to get lit into the back room.

Yeah, you have tattoos for that matter.

It was very weird.

Did we clap?

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

When you go into the back room, there's a door to the tattoo parlor as well.

Right.

It was very,

it's really bizarre.

I wouldn't have thought to combine those, but we were looking at it like yesterday, me and Jeff, and there's a picture of a guy drinking coffee while getting a a haircut and getting a tattoo.

And I said, I want to do that, but I want to be taking a shit and getting jerked off at the same time.

Yeah, when you walk in, it's like that event space like you described, and there's a door to the left that just says tattoo, and a door kind of in front of you to the right that just says barber.

Yes.

No door that says coffee.

There's nothing that says coffee, and you would not know it's there.

And also, there, like, why would the coffee not be front and center?

We must have looked lost for her to have asked us, or this must happen all over.

Also,

much like every tattoo parlor I've ever walked into, everybody in there looks like they know each other and is incredibly comfortable and like they've been living there for 10 years.

And you are immediately like they just all look over at you.

You feel like you're walking into a stranger's living room.

You're like, this isn't my house.

There were four different groups of people all in very intimate conversations and we were intruding.

Yeah, but they were all sitting next to each other.

Right.

There was plenty of space for them to spread out.

They chose not to.

Yeah.

I don't know.

But that had to be something else before it because that space is too

set up for other stuff.

We asked her, but she didn't know, and it was after she spilled the coffee.

So she was not.

She didn't really want to talk to us for a while.

Yeah, I went to the bathroom of Peene when all that happened.

And I walked out.

I thought, as we were leaving, it sounded like she was very angrily scooping ice.

I guess that makes sense.

One time

I went to see my cousin, Chris.

This is before he moved to Austin and became super successful, but he was working at Ruby Tuesdays in Alabama.

And I went to this before we moved to Austin.

What?

That long ago.

And so I went to visit him.

He was a bartender there and sat down in the bar and ordered a drink and was talking to him.

He went over to make it and he dropped a glass and cut his hand over the ice bucket and bled into it.

And it was like that was the end of the night for the restaurant, pretty much.

I mean, they were still serving food and stuff, but it shut the whole fucking bar down.

He was, I felt so bad for him.

Let's go down to Canterbury.

Okay, so show me.

I love the tales.

We forgot to mention

today's a historic day.

Uh-huh.

It'll be remembered for ages.

You'll be telling your children about this.

It's the day Jeff had to pay for coffee finally.

Pay for coffee finally.

Still, I think the three of you, the three times you all have had to pay combined, I think we're finally on equal to big potato.

I don't know.

I don't know how I got settled with the big potato.

I just, yeah, I mean, you know, it's luck in the draw, I guess.

It is what it is.

Yep.

Luckily, that place didn't have any breakfast food.

It was a relatively cheap purchase.

Yeah, it really was just, this is coffee, but hardly, it's hardly coffee.

And she gave us a show, yeah.

Oh man, very angry.

We should have made you pay for our tattoos.

We should, oh, we should get matching GMG tattoos

if we all get like if we all get one GMG and like we put our hands together, like we're in a gang.

We got all the G,

you get the M.

Yeah, what does the M stand for?

It's your middle name, Michael.

Good guess.

The cool thing about your M, that lady scared the shit out of me.

Oh, whoa.

Up on the roof.

It's like a mannequin with a gun up on the roof there.

Get that for the social, I assume we'll have.

The nice thing about an M, Eric, is it does double duty.

It could be a W as well.

Oh, it could be.

When it's not in the service of the GMG, you can.

For your second middle name, William.

Yeah.

Wascali.

Eric Michael William the Dork.

That's what they're Michael William.

What if you change it to 100% wheat or meat?

Oh, you know what?

What if?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I hadn't considered that.

The sidewalk's a little narrow here.

Everything is, but at least they're sidewalk.

Yeah, that's true.

Like most of the rest of the city.

Like some of these houses, and then not for

some of these houses.

Yeah.

It's a wild state of upheaval, this neighborhood.

Yeah, it really is like, here's...

what I call like millennial trap type homes and then just

like these have been here for a while.

This is blue.

okay and then houses that have had families living in them for you know a hundred years yeah I was talking with a dude who came to do like some service at my house the other day he'd lived in Austin for a long time like for his family been here for a few generations he was talking about crossing Jack Patilla type

he lived down in this area said he lived across from launderette oh really yeah and he said yeah when he was a kid it was like he remembered like going there or you know obviously he'd lived there like having like the laundry facility oh yeah across the street Wow.

He's like, now it's uh, oh, I never even thought about that.

Yeah, it's like totally different.

I mean, that's that's a great little snapshot of like the change in this whole area and everything.

Well, that place would have been the

start of the change, probably launderette.

They've been around for well over a decade because now when you're you're over there in that area, it's just everything is oh, it changed and it's a different thing now.

And it's a different thing now.

And this is pizza and now it does tacos.

Caesar Chavez is wild.

Yeah.

If you haven't driven down Caesar Chavez in about eight months, yeah, it's totally all totally.

Oh, this is for Dragon Manor.

Cool.

Kind of cool little house.

There we go.

Baby swinging there.

They played a butterfly on their bench.

They made a bench.

They put a bench in there.

Texas state inside.

Texas State Institute.

Yeah.

Is it the butterfly?

I guess so.

We have a statement.

Monarch Butterfly, probably, because that's the Monarch Butterfly store.

We run

Threewood.

Sure.

Maybe.

Yeah.

Do you ever see?

I lived over there in that area, not too far from that community store for a while.

Well, that's how I know about it.

Yeah.

I remember once, it only happened once.

I lived there.

How long did I live there?

I lived there for five years.

Only one time I remember I walked out into my front yard.

Actually, I walked in my backyard, and the tree in my backyard was just covered in monarch butterflies.

Oh, cool.

It was like during the migration, they chose one of the trees in my backyard to rest at, and you couldn't see the tree under all of the monarch butterflies.

That must have been awesome.

Did you take a photo?

Super cool.

No, it was probably like 2009, 2010.

Like, get your phone camera out, right?

Like, phone cameras are terrible.

Didn't want to run inside and get the bulky camera.

Right.

The

I'm not talking about the coffee yet.

I just want to talk about these

cups.

I don't like the way this feels on my finger.

It's spinny.

It doesn't go in one direction.

It goes to a diagonal direction with the slightly angled.

Yeah, and it's making my fingers all...

I don't like the feeling of it.

So those are like the hot

sleeves.

Yeah.

However, however.

These fucking lids, this is the best lid I've ever drank out.

It's got like a pre-drilled hole in the middle.

It does, but then it also has

the little triangle thing for it, but it's also concaved here for your mouth.

It is the perfect sip of coffee every time.

I just have the normal iced coffee.

Well, yeah, that's because you made her dump your coffee into all that ice.

A few years ago, I went to South Korea, and while I was there, I rode the bullet train from Seoul to Pusan.

Uh-huh.

And

I got a cup of coffee on the train.

That's that zombie train, right?

Yeah, it is.

Train to Pusan.

And

the lid of that cup of coffee was indented on the left side and the right side.

And I realized it was so you could put, you could rest your phone on it.

No, like if you were watching like a video or something on your phone, you rest it on the lid of your coffee cup enough to hold it.

And then when you're ready, you just like pick it up, take it off the lid, take a sip of coffee, and put it back down.

That's really cool.

Yeah, it was really neat.

It's amazing to see how much construction is still going on considering how dead the housing market is.

That's fucking...

Well, that's an interesting mix of styles.

There's lots of construction going on, but there has not been a single for-sale sign on.

And it's okay.

No one lives in most of these places.

They're just mail overflowing from mailboxes.

Dude,

I imagine most of these houses are Airbnbs, right?

Yeah, definitely.

Except for the red-purple

is crazy.

This fucking, the tall, that's definitely an Airbnb.

Yeah,

these are all Airbnbs.

That looks like the menu at a Cheesecake Factory.

That one does.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Whoa.

Another unfinished project here.

These are all Airbnbs.

That's a nice little...

That's what they do, right?

They paint them like loud colors like that, so it's easily identifiable.

It's the purple house.

That's the one that looks like Cheesecake Factory.

But like, you know what would be really cool instead is if people lived here.

Yeah.

That'd be fucking red.

Well, I think there's a fair amount of people.

Like these people definitely live here.

Uh-huh.

We haven't seen very many people walking about here.

But it is a Friday morning.

And we are,

we're at work.

And so they maybe are too.

Even during that day we had the last episode, where we were walking around Hyde Park near Quacks.

We should go back to Quacks, by the way.

Oh, yeah, we do that episode.

There were people in the neighborhood.

That's true.

Well, let's go further in the neighborhood.

We're right next to Caesar Chavez.

Yeah.

I can hear something over here already.

Can't wait to find out.

There's a guy walking right there.

Okay, get him.

Jump is fucking funky ass.

When you are in Korea,

is Korean street food like a big?

Is Is it like everywhere, like big, big holes?

Really?

Yeah, it's like, you can't escape it.

And it's, you know, lots of familiar stuff, but it's also lots of unfamiliar stuff.

So it's a little scary.

What was it that you, like, what do you remember eating?

What was the bravest thing you ate?

Yeah, that's a good.

The bravest thing I ate.

It's been a few years since I've been there, so it's tough to remember specifically.

Right.

I mean, I'm not very adventurous when it comes to seafood.

But I do remember I ate some like fresh octopus that had just been like

caught and like cut up.

Yeah.

And it's just like it's not, it's not that it's cooked.

I think they squeeze like some kind of citrus on it.

That's probably the bravest thing that I ate.

So it's like eating it and feeling it like.

So it's like an octopus ceviche kind of thing.

Yeah, kind of.

Okay.

I gotta say, I love the back alleys over here.

Big one.

What's Ookie?

A popular street food that I feel like every vendor had was like silkworms.

What?

It was what?

Let's get like a cup full of silkworms.

People go crazy for that.

You do what with?

Eat it.

Throw them away?

Think anybody's living in that?

Probably not.

Yeah, me.

That's scary.

It's a cool dog.

Yeah.

With a cool ass dog.

I'm going to point out every person we see.

Oh, cool.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, I did not try the silkworms.

I regret not trying the silkworms.

I feel like it was so popular.

It must be good.

I should have tried it.

Really?

Yeah.

Everywhere.

But it's fun.

I haven't been back since.

I would love to go back at some point.

When did you go?

2016.

I actually,

I can tell you exactly when it was because I watched the Clinton-Trump debate with Ken Bone.

Oh.

I watched it.

Dude, you were in Kenbone, Korea?

Did you know Ken Bone was a Rush Tea fan?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

He reached out to us a couple of times, dude.

He was a big RVB fan.

Awesome.

I was

more infamous than South Korea.

Yeah, I witnessed Ken Bone at like four in the morning or five in the morning in South Korea.

Maybe it wasn't.

Maybe it was late at night.

Fucking Ken Bone.

That's crazy.

Wow.

Go down Garden Street.

Okay.

That was like the worst part about, well, I mean, there were lots of terrible parts, but for me, the worst part

about like the whole lockdown in 2020 was just not being able to travel or going, like, I guess you could have, but man, I didn't go anywhere at all in 2020.

It's like stayed in my house and stayed in Austin.

Right.

Nice little house these people have.

This is

cute and quaint.

And they live here because they support local school teachers or whatever.

Or whatever the fuck.

I don't know.

They do.

They had some kind of sign.

I support not local school teachers.

And being a parent of the kid or some shit.

I like international school teachers.

Yeah, I like the teachers from the next town over.

I hear good things.

But like, I just, this little white house, we're walking down the street on Garden or whatever.

This little White House, great.

It's just, you know, it's just a house, whatever.

Then the thing next to it is just...

It's like a compound.

Like, David Koresh is in there, and the fucking ATF is going to show up.

That's cute.

Yeah.

I almost didn't make it this morning.

What?

I had a rough night's sleep last night.

I was mad at the dog.

It was a whole thing.

He was annoying.

You shouldn't go to bed mad.

I know.

Did he eat your dinner?

Nah, he was just like,

he was sleeping in the bed last night and I just couldn't take it.

And so I went and slept on the sofa.

And I was laying, I woke up at like, So I woke up later than normal, you know?

I usually get up around like 6.30.

And I woke up at like 8.25.

And I picked up my phone and I was looking at it.

And I was like, oh, I'll just lay here and play with my phone for a bit.

And at 8.30, I got an alarm that was like, don't forget, you have to record Good Morning Gus from 9 to 11.

And I went, and I kept going.

And I thought, why do I say 9 to 11?

We record at 10.

And I go, ah, I probably just like covered the block or whatever.

I always had to get to work.

It's early enough in the morning where your brain doesn't make sense.

And I was like, I had to always get to stuff at Rooster Teeth, broadcast stuff at Rooster Teeth like half hour early.

It's like that.

And then I was thinking, after at about 8 40 i thought wait a minute gus and i are morning people yeah

oh

i ran upstairs and jumped in the shower and still made it to me

got dressed shower dressed and out of the house in less than 10 minutes you've you've looked like you got there quick then yeah it's good what gus good morning yeah there it is morning

good midday gus yeah good rooster teeth

is still morning but uh

and we used to record it at 10.

i don't know i was just i just didn't have logic at that point in my head yet.

But I did the same thing.

I woke up at 7.30 and looked at the clock and the dog had already gotten up and he was fed and everything.

And I'm like, oh, fuck.

Yeah.

I get to like, I'm going to roll over and sleep in for a little bit.

And then I went, nope.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You guys know what this is?

This is datura.

This is one of the deadliest plants in the world.

Is that right?

Seed pods in here that are psychotropic that they use in Central America to do like journeys and shit, you know, all that ayahuasca shit, but they're so powerful that they're like deadly.

And

my ex-wife took a class on it at Texas State, so she had all kinds of interesting facts on it.

But like there are people that like, if you take it, just fucking kill yourself because they can't handle it.

Like it's so insanely dangerous.

And it's all over the place and you don't know it, but because it's just like a little trumpeting white flower that looks beautiful.

But don't let your dogs eat it.

Don't ever put that shit in your mouth.

Unless you have a cool dog.

Or unless you're like an Ecuadorian spirit guide and you know what you're doing.

That's my dog.

It's like one of the most dangerous hallucinogens

in the world.

Speaking of dogs, that dog was very brave.

Yeah.

He was not a big dog.

He was ready to take us out.

Yeah, he was.

He's letting us know what's up.

There's a house for sale.

How much do you think this house is?

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Oh, for sale.

Oh, let's look it up.

It's a big house.

Let's take a guess.

It looks pretty big.

It goes back.

Quite a bit.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Oh, it's very big.

We'll go look at it.

We don't obviously know any specs, no idea.

Square footage or anything.

I'm going to guess it's at least 2,600 square feet.

It's big.

It might be bigger than that.

Never mind.

It could be it could be three.

It looks like it might be a multi-level wraparound porch.

It is multi-level.

It's a corner lot.

It's fenced in.

It's a nice fence.

Got a gorgeous metal fence.

Yep.

It's on a corner lot on a hill.

There's a burst.

So it's raised.

There is.

This is all the house.

I thought I saw Alex Jones walking down the mar the other day.

What's the...

Wait.

This is all.

Does this continue to be?

I think this is the house.

Yeah, this is connected.

God damn.

You're right about it being multi-level.

Is it that other part too?

No, no, no.

I don't.

I think maybe that's a B b unit too or something the fences are like the same here

it might be it might be like a secondary unit a lot of a b units here dude i'm gonna guess that's like a

2.8 million dollar house

i say i say two three i think at one point you were right i'm gonna say 1.9 okay let's see oh that's a

that's smart that's smart we're we're operating on yeah what was going on eight months ago i think there's a lot of people in delusion oh yeah definitely uh Okay, so there's definitely also on the ground out front, there's like a dead grasshopper being eaten by flies, and this is like an A24 film.

Like you start at your beautiful home, and then you go to this and it's like it's really saying something, but it won't tell you what it is, and you have to figure it out.

And you'll have a friend that goes, like, yeah, dude, it looks really deep.

Yeah.

This was like the Deleuze scene for Midsummer.

Yeah, it's a little smaller than we thought.

It's three-bed, three-bath, 2,292 square feet.

So it's much smaller.

2,300 square feet.

Looks bigger than that.

Yeah, it's definitely.

That's about the size of my old house.

Yeah.

And my old house is not that big.

Roughly.

You're going to keep us in suspension?

What's going on?

1.375.

Oh, that's fucking cheap for Austin, Texas.

Hey, in this area, too?

You're two blocks off Cesar Chavez.

I would say this is one of the three, like, most sought-after, four most sought-after neighborhoods.

Yeah.

Wow.

Probably Terrytown, Hyde Park, Travis Heights, and East Austin.

Definitely.

Where's the guy?

Oh, yeah.

Guy in an alley.

Yeah, I think he was stumbling a little bit.

He might have been up to something.

He was either a good nick or a no-goodnick.

There's the sun.

God, it has been a weird weather kind of thing over like the last, what, two weeks?

Yeah.

Where it's been like, hey, it's going to rain.

Just kidding.

Don't worry.

It's going to be kind of cooler, sort of.

I love it.

I love it.

I wish I'd been here for it.

It sounds awesome.

Yeah.

It definitely is like a false fall kind of vibe.

Where

it started to cool off, but it was just to trick you, you fool.

We're well below 100, so I'm fine with that.

Oh, dude.

I got 89 yesterday.

It only got over 100 for like three days this summer.

It was awesome.

Yeah, this has been a good summer.

I went back.

I was trying to figure out how many days it had been over 100, and I couldn't find it reported anywhere, but I did find a bunch of stuff earlier, early reports.

They had estimated we were going to have 36 days of 100 this year.

Oh, we were not there in like May.

We had maybe a week.

Yeah.

I think total for the summer, we might have hit 15 to 20 days.

I think that's an overestimate.

You told me it was under under 10.

I'm like, absolutely believe me.

I saw the other day that this, despite how pleasant it has felt, this was, on average, the seventh hottest summer in Austin.

Really?

Oh, wow.

We've just been so conditioned because the past few are so bad.

We've just been so beat down.

Yeah.

That's brutal.

That's so sad.

That is so sad.

So we are on...

We're just past Holly.

Yeah.

We're headed right towards the town lake, actually.

Oh, really?

Yeah, we're

just on the other side of that.

Ladybird Lake.

Bird Lake.

Sorry.

I don't know what Town Lake is.

Right.

It's I apologize.

You were correct.

And this was a even though she didn't want it.

Uh-huh.

They did it anyway.

This is like a thing here where they renamed the lake.

Yeah.

It was town lake forever.

When did they probably change it only 10, 15 years ago?

It was in mid-like, yeah, 2010, maybe somewhere around there.

Wow, really?

Yeah.

Why?

Who knows?

To honor Ladybird.

She's a person, I guess.

Did that work out?

They were like, she needs more than a wildflower center.

People got to know.

That's so funny.

Man, $1.37 million for that, which is crazy.

Oh, guys.

3D printed house.

Oh,

let's go check it out.

We're right here.

Okay, wait.

So

this is actually a 3D, like one of those 3D printed house.

If you Google

a 3D printed house, they show you this fucking house.

Yeah, I've seen it.

They did all those new stories about it.

I recognize that house.

Really?

Yeah.

Cool.

I was driving around.

I was driving my bike over here because it's near the bike trail.

And I was over here in myself the other day.

It's fucking cool.

Getting an air conditioner over here.

That's a big air conditioner.

That's a big air conditioner.

Middle school or something?

Great school?

Martin Middle School.

Dude, that is definitely a 3D printed house.

That air conditioner is a job in Snowrunner.

That's a two-hour mission right there.

Just get it tipped over and somebody else.

I'm out of fuel again.

Antonio trying to like a game with the crane.

Oh, wow.

It like

it really is the aesthetic of a 3D printed house.

Like, they didn't bother to like, oh, we're going to like stucco or do that.

That's the style.

I think so.

They're just going like

all natural.

So it's all horizontal.

It looks like it's all horizontal striped.

Yes.

But then it has like vertical waving

as texture.

Yeah.

So it has like, I mean, you can definitely see if you've seen like those 3D printed, like they're laying down like the concrete or whatever around it.

Like that's what it is.

It definitely looks like you can see the million layers of it that go up.

I'm so glad we got you to see this.

I've never seen this before.

I've never seen it before.

Dude, what a happy accident.

We're learning a lot.

That's pretty cool.

How about the city we live in?

It's on the corner of Chalmers and Riverview.

It's a real pretty house, too.

Yeah, it's nice.

Like, obviously the landscaping is doing a lot for it.

They put a lot of money into that.

But yeah, really, really neat.

How interesting.

Morning.

Morning.

It's

another home.

Like right here and everything.

Hey, let's go knock on the window.

Let's see what you can go.

Hey, I want to see.

They must be so used to that.

Yeah.

You've got cameras everywhere on the outside.

No.

How crazy.

It's got a beat.

It's gotta be.

Yeah.

I think the uh huh.

I think the glass and the wood and everything do a lot of like the lift there, too.

Yeah.

Wow, that's neat.

Yep.

I wonder how economical it is.

Well, considering that's the only one I've ever seen,

can't be that great.

Just an early adopter.

Looks cool.

I think I agree with Gus.

It'll be one of those things where like you don't figure it out for a while and then 10 years, it's all you see.

Yep.

So the airstream out in front of this other house,

they're living in it while they redo stuff or whatever.

they have like family in town or something huh interesting a lot of stairs for that house wow a lot of outside stairs it's an abc house abc house yeah yeah always be closing yes

no i think it's a three-unit house oh i did that once i uh was renovating the first house i bought we had to renovate and i rented uh an rv and parked it in the driveway

it did not work out very well that's why i only did it very briefly yeah i mean you'd be living in an RV.

Yeah.

Dude.

It was not great.

We kept tripping the electrical in the house.

It was a huge pain in the ass.

My uncle and his wife, my cousin Chris, his dad,

they work at

Airfields.

Doing like civilian contracting stuff at Airfields.

Like some kind of maintenance or something.

He's older.

He's in his 60s.

He's been doing his whole life.

And he's got like five years left.

And they work in Alabama.

But they got this huge promotion over in Florida in Pensacola, and they didn't know what to do with their house.

So they let like her kids live in it, and they just moved into an RV in an RV park in Pensacola and have been living there for over a year and love it.

Yeah.

What?

I was just hanging out with him over the weekend and he fucking loves it.

They're happy as can be.

I don't know if you remember, that was one of my hair-brained ideas back in the late 90s.

You wanted to go live over on the Battle Springs.

Yeah, by Shady Grove.

They had like a little RV park there.

I was like, shit, you can just live in an RV.

It was fucking $900 a month to live there back then.

Yes, I just get my high-speed internet, my cable modem.

That's it.

900 bucks, live on Barton Springs.

That's all you need.

Okay, for sale.

Oh, there we go.

Intentionally built as that two-unit.

Wow, that's ugly.

That's a lot.

A lot of.

This looks like the first house that you build in The Sims.

Yeah.

You don't know what you're doing.

There's no thought to any of it.

You just go, I need them to live in this box and it needs to be tall.

That's the kind of house a contractor builds with leftover shit that he has.

I love it from a couple of years.

Yeah, it's the Johnny Cash one piece at a time car, but it's a house.

I think a lot of houses nowadays are that two unit style just because like the way the land code works around here.

Yeah.

Well, I think they're about to change that.

To make it more.

Yeah, make it more.

You can have the four now on the same size as a two unit.

That house is pretty cool because they have tile on the outside of it.

Oh, interesting.

Pretty neat.

Oh, so there's the park and everything.

Yeah, so the water is just right down there.

We should maybe start making our way.

over that, huh?

Yeah,

the weather's just so nice.

Oh, it is.

It's so it's it's humid, but not in a bad, bad, bad way.

And the wind, the breeze is kind of cool.

It actually feels nice.

That's the only thing Austin is missing: is if it was breezy,

this would be a way easier place to live.

Yeah, for sure.

But when it is breezy, it's always like a blow dryer.

Yes.

Well, usually like a blow dryer.

This is this is

oh man.

A lot more construction over here now that we're further a little deeper into the neighborhood.

Further in from I-35.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's new mass construction and renovations.

It's not like we're far far from anything either.

Like we've just been walking, kind of like meandering and we're still like 40 blocks from 40 restaurants and coffee shops.

Yeah.

This is a great dog walking area.

Yeah.

You can just sort of meander and go and it's not really well not a lot of cars or anything.

Like Gus was saying, that's one of of the few places in austin that has sidewalks yes definitely true they're not consistent but they're there mostly bottle of valentina some hot sauce there yeah you want some

no i'm fine i got my miccalo vulture coming up in the gutter over here well you just put a little bit of that in that and you got kind of like a michilata kind of situation have you listened to howard stern at all no dude i turned on the other day yesterday because i found that crazy yeah angry allistine

and uh i wanted to hear the eulogy and they were making fun of gary because

they got into the subject of hot sauce, and Gary was explaining how sriracha is this Mexican hot sauce.

Oh, no.

And he went on for a while, and then somebody had to, I think John Hines or somebody finally corrected him.

Uh-huh.

And was like, it's from Thailand, you know.

And

it was pretty funny.

I think that's what it's from.

I don't know where it's from.

Wherever they said it's from.

I actually don't know where it's from.

I think it was from Vietnam or somewhere in Southeast Asia.

I like that it's all those years and they can still.

hammer on Fafoff Ohio.

Oh, still just hammering them so hard.

It's funny.

You said, you know, you asked if Eric would could be listening to Stern.

I didn't realize he was still going.

Dude, yeah.

And that's what, and that's what's happening with somebody who's like,

yeah.

Yeah.

Did you see all the contracts they've signed recently with people that aren't him?

It uh, no.

Oh, you haven't seen that?

No.

That Call Her Daddy podcast?

Yeah.

Which $100 million or something, right?

Like $125 for like

three years or something for exclusivity, but it's like exclusivity on Sirius XM.

And I can't imagine that they've seen their subscribers go up.

Hey, Sirius, listen.

I've got a couple of podcasts.

Yeah.

I'm open to making some deals.

Yeah, we'll do whatever.

We'll do whatever you want.

We don't care.

I would say that the Howard Stern show might be the most,

and I'm just shooting from the hip here.

So I'm going to be wrong, and somebody's going to have a real hot take about it.

I get it.

But is the most affected piece, media property that I have seen from the pandemic?

Oh, pandemic destroyed that show.

It's totally.

Howard is a germaphobe.

Yes.

And that just like that, that shut him in.

And they are still,

they're just now, I feel like starting to recover.

Yes.

And he's just now starting to get out from behind us.

Like he was talking about going to see Pearl Jam, even though he knows he's going to get COVID.

I saw that.

And I was like, I can't fucking believe he's actually going to go.

Has he caught it at all?

I think he's had it twice.

Once or twice.

I've had it less than Howard's turn.

Oh, way to go, man.

I've had it.

Twice?

I'm getting the

booster one like tomorrow.

Yeah, I need to schedule that.

My wife was like, I'm getting this booster.

Do you want to get this booster?

And I went, yeah, sure.

I guess.

Whatever.

Shoot me up.

Yeah, I don't care.

I think the last booster that I had was like in 2022.

I had one last year.

I had the one last year before I went on that international trip.

Oh, that's smart.

Just to be safe at that and the flu at the same time.

Yeah.

I'm excited for the comments for all this.

Actually, the booster doesn't do what they think it does.

Oh, cool, man.

Thank you.

Okay, if you can do what you want, I'm going to do what I want.

I don't give a shit.

If you start a podcast, I have a booster.

I don't give a shit.

Listen, I lost my job.

All bits are off.

I got none to lose.

You guys can't afford to get sick.

I'm trying to see the dentist before all this stuff runs out, man.

I don't know.

Me too.

Oh, dude.

I'm going to vote for this dog.

Ellie Bear 2024.

Make America Perfect Again.

Aw.

I really disagree with that dog's foreign policy.

That's the isolation stuff.

I have a lot of questions about the dog's economics plans, and I am only holding him accountable for them.

Austin meditation group self-realization fellowship that's that's a cult right

no I think it's probably more just like uh he's in the cult he loves it he loves no no I don't I'm not into that but I don't think it's a cult I think it's just like one of those meditation centers for like non like people that are spiritual but not this guy loves it he's in it

he's listen he's 75 grand in the cult it's got to work out

they keep knocking on the door we lost our jobs.

I don't know what the guys want.

I thought you guys about landmark forums.

Yeah,

if you're listening to this and it's particularly windy, very sorry.

Anybody particularly windy?

We are walking in the wind.

We are out and about, and it is windy.

That's what you signed up for.

This is the famous Austin bamboo that is impossible to kill unless it's in my yard.

Yeah.

And then it's very easy to kill and very expensive to keep alive.

Honey, bunches of votes, la forma perfecta dependar elia accounto

Cono july las crucientes and verdas qual los niños les encantas.

Ademas delicios os trosos de granola nu es y fruta que todos vanadis fruitar.

Honey bunches devotes para todos.

Tod para sabermás.

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You guys want to take this back alley?

Yeah, sure.

We're just sort of wandering back towards the color palette of that.

I have an original car.

I love cars.

I love all these beige wood flowers.

Like all these flowers here and everything.

Yeah, another millennial trap here.

It's very nice.

Pretty, though.

I did an old man thing.

Oh.

I gave up a little bit on life.

Yeah.

I was watching

one of those commercials with Mr.

T and Tony Romo for those sketches that you don't have to.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I bought them.

You're wearing the Mr.

T shoes.

Whoa.

I was like, man, not bending over sounds great.

Dude, do your feet pity our feet?

Yeah.

I just got them yesterday.

So

my whole life has changed.

If I sound happier, it's because I didn't have to bend over.

Yeah,

I was thinking that earlier.

I went, Gus sounds happier.

When I see those things, I think like,

I should probably get shoes that I have to tie twice as hard because apparently I need, if it hurts that much to bend over, I should be doing it more.

Right, right, right, right, right.

I shouldn't be going the other way.

Yeah.

Because I'll never bend over again.

Yeah, you'll never bend over again.

Exactly.

That's exciting.

You got the Mr.

T shoes.

That's so funny.

You like them though, for real?

Yeah, they're great.

Nice.

Highly recommend them.

There are so many flies on the ground back here.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on.

There are a lot of flies on the ground.

Flytown.

Again, it's like an A24 film.

Just film this.

Ah, there's probably somebody

dead.

Yeah, there's probably dead or chopped up or locked in a barbarian style torture chamber.

Spoiler.

Airbnb around here.

Spoiler.

That movie was not what you thought it was going to be.

No, it was not.

From the mind of one of the guys from Whitest Kids You Know.

Insane.

Insane.

Like, what

is this like a comedy?

Oh, it's kind of funny sometimes.

Oh, yeah.

It's like, look at what people from the internet can do.

Me, I farted on Eric in a record store.

Dude, fucking, goddamn.

We're record shopping yesterday, and we're, I'm like 15 feet away from Jeff, and Jeff's going through some records.

He's like, oh, hey, Eric, check this out.

And I'm like, yeah, what's up?

And walked over and I got this close and he ripped the loudest fart.

The loudest.

I wonder if the microphones picked it up.

It was so fucking loud.

Awesome.

I just like scurried away.

I was out of there.

That was fucked.

That was bad, dude.

Oh, my God.

Anyway.

That's my barbarian.

So, what did you guys think of Dark Horse?

Dude, real quick, that shovel is a bird.

Oh, yeah.

You guys make a picture of that.

It's a shovel and some shears.

A shovel.

They made a bird out of that shovel.

Whoa, whoa, hold on, guys.

Wait, wait, wait.

It's a bicycle fork?

Is the legs?

Fellas, fellas, hang on.

I don't want to talk about the coffee yet.

That shovels a bird you get it the fuck you got to call it that one the fucking craziest sense i've ever heard see here's some big dogs where if they bark you're like i'm intimidated yeah they're gonna intimidate

these dogs could easily jump over that fence oh they don't yeah they don't give a shit yeah i thought the coffee was okay yeah 6.8 yeah

i wouldn't go i mean it was fine i wouldn't go with that though though yeah it was um it was like a seven

to me okay it was like a fine cup of coffee it wasn't super hot

i i didn't want it to be super hot but like when i took that first sip and it was a bracing sip of like, okay, let's see, and it wasn't hot, it was very weird.

I go 7.2.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Somewhere right around there.

It's fine.

Totally.

But at the same time, I don't think Dark Horse is the place you're going specifically for the coffee.

I think coffee gets third billing.

Isn't it tattoo barbershop?

Yeah, what do you think is first billing in that?

I think it's tattoo.

It's got to be tattooed.

But the tattoo parlor is probably open the least.

That's probably the most lucrative.

Yeah.

Because I don't, it's probably not barbershop.

Do you think barbershop is top building?

The tattoo shop and the barbershop were both closed.

Granted, it's a little early.

Neither of them was open.

I wouldn't walk in and get a tattoo right now.

We get our GMGs, dude.

Dude,

I will definitely get a tattoo from Dark Horse.

Eric and I have been brainstorming on some different tattoo ideas for these.

Jeff has some ideas for tattoo stuff that I'm so for.

I love it.

I just need to fill space before I die.

Yeah, you ever feel like that?

No.

We're going too far?

No.

What is the deal with this lot that doesn't actually front to the street?

It just comes out to the alley.

Oh, it's a

easement?

Yeah, I think so.

I think it's.

Why wouldn't those houses own it back here to the easement?

I think this is just an

undeveloped tract of land.

I'm sure you're not going to be able to do that.

It doesn't face the street.

It wouldn't have an address.

I mean, this does.

It would have the B address of that.

Doesn't this have an address?

Yeah.

615B right here.

1615B.

It would have the same as that.

Weird.

They just haven't developed it.

It's why it'sn't fenced in, I guess.

Like, you think they would run their fence all the way up.

Whatever.

Not my point.

I mean, I think there's a...

Most of the

B units front to

these

alleys, right?

Yeah.

You see, like this.

They fenced in all the way back here.

Right.

Here comes a car to run us over.

V-mer.

Is this...

Why not just pave the whole thing?

Big fucking plate.

I think it's impervious cover.

Yeah.

There's like the impervious cover rules, so they got to leave.

That's when they do this.

That's what I assume it is.

Huh, impervious cover fucked me at my old house.

Yeah, it's uh oh, it's definitely what it is, then.

Yeah, it's kind of a pain because they're doing the same thing here.

Yeah, interesting,

but I mean, it it's good.

You don't want to

you don't want to pave the whole city, or you end up with like a Houston where nothing right absorbs and drains and city floods.

This is where I live in that shed.

Uh-huh.

That's my barbarian house.

Dude, you got to see the real Austin.

Walk some back alleys.

Yep.

This is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre House.

Big time.

Or like, here's another one: 1608B.

16082?

Yeah.

It says B there.

Very.

Just the dogs.

No, no.

It's at dog eye level.

Yeah.

No squatting.

Well, the dog's going to see it and be like, taking a shit.

Oh, it says no.

I'm a dog and I can read.

Just two letters.

Yeah.

That's fine.

Can you say no to a dog?

I understand.

Yep, because it's UT colors.

Ah.

Hook them.

Can you walk them?

I really like you too.

Texas and Michigan playing this weekend.

Yeah.

Who's playing?

Texas and Michigan.

By the time this comes out, how did we do?

We did great.

I think I picked Texas to win in my pick'em.

Oh, swimming pool.

Little plunge pool.

Yeah.

Nice.

I'm so turning around.

I have no idea where the car is.

I think it's up to the, up like that way.

Yeah, I think we're only like...

We're probably two blocks from.

Yeah, we're at Kill Mall right now, so we got to be pretty close.

Yeah, we just wandered really far.

Yeah.

It was a lot of walking, just because this is

because this is the oh, we heard this, let's come over this way.

Yeah, I like it, yeah, you hear the music, oh, yeah, it's a it's uh it's attracting us like a siren song

in Narctenia, hell yeah.

Oh, not anymore, not anymore.

Now it's now it's Jeff's music, not Jeff's done.

I know this song because it's on every commercial.

It's every commercial and every TikTok in the world.

This might be the most commercialed song yeah next to fucking here we go

now we're talking one cranberry song yeah i love that they skipped it fuck yeah

i'm not listening to that shit yeah get that out of here yeah

put some flock on baby let's go hell yeah

oh canterbury i know the street yeah you know their tales i know their tales yeah did you ever read cranberry tales in school i read it yeah i was I was in middle school, I think.

I was the only kid, I think, in my school that was bummed he didn't finish it because he died.

It's such a fucking fucking cool idea.

He's doing so many different stories about going to the same place.

What do you mean he died?

It's like 22 short stories in Springfield.

Yep.

Do you ever hear about that?

Was supposed to become...

Yeah, it was like a soft pilot.

Yeah.

Really?

For like a Simpsons spin-off?

Yeah.

And that didn't do well enough to spin it off.

It wasn't about it not doing well.

It was James L.

Brooks was like not a, he's, you know, the executive producer, decision maker for The Simpsons.

And he doesn't, he's not a fan of The Simpsons.

So he's like, well, this is a bunch of characters that aren't The Simpsons.

Why would we make this?

So he killed it.

God.

Yeah.

I've heard that about him.

I've heard that he's that way.

The Cletus vignette was one of the best moments in history.

Oh, I think.

I'm going to eat a skunk.

This is again.

Some focal.

That's one of the best episodes of that show.

Great.

It's great.

Great episode.

Yeah.

But yeah, I was supposed to be a soft pilot.

So weird.

Dude, nice house.

That's a Texas-y house.

And Marvin owns it, though.

Oh, yeah.

Marvin wants everybody to own it.

Marvin Windows.

these are my fucking windows

I don't think that's uh gonna pass the smell no that's good

it's fine what's the problem okay Jeff let's do fix it man when I see you do better when I sold my house over on the east side

during the like the buyer's inspection the inspector found some electrical problem I needed to replace a breaker

the problem was that the panel I had at that house hadn't been made in like 50 years oh

so I had to go on the hunt to find a breaker for this panel that was no longer in production.

It took about a month, but I found it.

Was it cheaper than just getting a new breaker?

No, I had to find the breaker.

Oh, yeah.

What do you mean like a new panel?

Like getting a new panel would have been faster, but way more expensive.

Yeah, because I had to replace the panels in my old house.

I need to

be 50 bucks or something.

I have a sub panel that needs to be.

It's a lifetime warranty, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

But it's like, I know I'm gonna have I'm gonna call them and they're gonna go well.

actually.

What happened?

Have you talked to the builder?

It's going to be that shit.

So I don't want to do it.

But it's such a nuisance.

I don't blame you.

Yeah.

Need to hire a guy who just does that.

I need a property manager for my own property.

Just hire a property management service that just takes care of all that stuff.

You just need...

I need it for one month.

You need rich people amenities.

Yes.

Yeah.

You need the help.

Yeah.

That's it.

We've got to figure out how to get rich people amenities for everyone.

Just, I would say it's a handyman, but it's not really a handyman.

It's a guy who's going to call and get.

He's going to arrange it.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

Like, he's lining it up.

It's a guy named William.

There you go.

William, call about the

take care of the breaker situation.

The shitter is backed up.

William, we are out of cheese-its.

The commode is fucked.

That's a cute little house.

Yeah.

I would love to live over in this area.

Based on the construction, I think you could.

A lot of opportunities.

Uh-huh.

Cheaper than we thought.

Yeah.

You got, what did we say?

We got $1.3 million.

$1.37 million for

what would have been a $3 million house

18 months ago.

Yeah.

Fucking crazy.

All I have to do is commit some Chase Bank check fraud, and then I'm going to get a lot of money.

How was that?

Here's the thing.

Check out this glitch.

Here's the thing.

I have a conspiracy theory about about it.

I think nobody actually did it, but everybody made videos about how they did it or how other people were doing it.

But I don't know that a lot of people actually did it.

You're going to find out that it was like a fucking Wyden Kennedy ad.

Yeah.

Yes, exactly.

Yeah, it's going to be that kind of shit.

We'll arrest you.

Yeah, so it's just that.

Also, it's just check fraud.

It's clear.

It's clear that it's just check fraud.

I think it's just, I think they just did it to remind you that check fraud exists.

Don't do it.

Right.

I think it's like for a new generation that's never written a check.

yes it's like hey checks they're cool right check hey checks are cool right that's money that doesn't exist yet hey you don't see it's in the little library oh yeah painting techniques

you finally finished the bronze bow jack one of the chances i read any of the books zero that's what i was looking for oh madeline lingle a ring of endless light i have not read that but i've read madeline lingle when i was a kid Harlan Coban, I watched one of his shows on TV once.

Barbara King Solver.

No, I haven't read that one.

Damn.

Tough.

Oh, hey, you know, that's why the little library is here.

I haven't run any of that.

No.

But it's a nice little library.

And you can sit down next to the cactus on a little bench.

Yeah.

And I think there were some of those poisonous plants back there.

Oh, cool.

So I'm going to go to the next house over.

I mean, eat some of those.

Sit on this bench, read a book,

pass out.

Find me in the middle of the street rolling around.

It's good.

Dude Park.

Is it this one or the next one?

I think it is.

It is this one.

We did it.

We made it in a big circle.

Got your steps in for the day.

Yeah, good time.

Oh, look at this.

Wind chime.

Yep.

Got some good audio texture.

Love a wind chime.

My neighbor had a wind chime for like three months, and it was driving me crazy.

Oh, I like a wind chime.

Yeah,

I'm not anti-wind chime at all.

Gavin is.

Yes, Gavin hates it.

Well, we did it.

Made it in a big circle.

How are you guys feeling about this episode of Good Morning, Gus?

Good.

Hope the wind wasn't too bad.

I hope it exists.

Yeah, I guess we'll see when we have to cut here in just a second.

See if it loses everything again.

Oh, I'm nervous every time we use them now.

This house is for rent.

Yes.

Yeah, you can live here.

I'm just for washing.

Exactly.

Why?

Yeah, but then I rent it.

I don't have to wash it.

They wash it.

That's what renting is.

What a dirty house.

Yep.

Launch a power wash simulator.

You have a good time.

Well, this is episode five.

Five?

Five.

Probably.

And

they should be coming out soonish.

Soon.

Or not.

Well, I mean, if you're listening to this, they've been coming out for five weeks.

Exactly.

Yeah, I'm in Adobe Hell at the moment, but that's maybe a topic for another time.

I don't worry.

I'm not lying.

But that's the fun of it because we get to do it the way we want to, and Mr.

Teeth can't make us stand up.

Yeah, big fast stop in your face.

Well, thanks for listening.

Follow us on social.

I'm sure it's in the description.

And let us know what your questions are.

So when we do another batch of eight, maybe we get to them.

If we do.

Definitely check out the social media.

Because there's going to be a bird made out of a shovel and a bicycle.

Here's the thing.

We're coming up.

We only have three left.

And then we have to make a decision.

I think that should be like the cliffhanger for episode eight.

I didn't even think about it.

Is that we have this is five.

We'll We'll have two more regular, and then the eighth will be, I mean,

could potentially be our final episode ever.

Yeah,

it depends how many shady rays you buy.

It's just well, it depends on how many yeses we get.

We need a unanimous yes.

It's tough.

It's tough.

So stay tuned for that, and we'll see you guys next time.

Okay, bye.

Bye.