Episode 226: Work-Life Balance: Does It Really Exist?

Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins.

You're listening to Habits and Hustle, Gresham.

Hello, welcome to Habits and Hustle solo episode.

And today,

I really want to talk about something

that I don't believe is actually a thing that really exists.

You know what that is?

What is that?

Thank you, foil.

It is balance.

I think balance is such a load of crap because I believe it's really hard to have balance.

I think that depending on where you are in your life and what phase and what's going on, certain things are going to take a priority to other things.

And there's going to be a massive imbalance.

I think when you're building a company and they say, well, just have balance.

How do you have balance when you're in the process of building?

Right.

If you are in the process of like transitioning and you're not in that mode, yeah, okay, you can then like work on the balance.

But I think that balance, what it's doing, this idea of balance is giving people a ton of anxiety and making people feel really guilty and bad when they don't have it.

So I'd like people to start being real and stop talking about balance and how we all have balance.

And when you say like, how do you do it all?

And the answer is, well, I just balance it all out.

And that's balance.

Baloney.

I call baloney on balance.

That's what I'm telling you.

It's like the people who like run 13 miles every morning.

Like, get out of here.

Well, there are people who run 13 miles every morning.

That's like, that's a, that's a huge chunk of time.

That's a huge.

No, no, no.

What, what really drives me nuts are these ridiculously long, extensive morning routines that they're like, first I read like

and then I cold plunge and then I work out and then I journal

and then I meditate.

And then, you know, my morning routine takes me to about three o'clock in the afternoon where I then have a shake and then I make a light meal and then, and then do it all over again the next day.

To me, that's what drives me crazy.

These ridiculous morning routines that are so unrealistic for the majority of people, like give me a break, right?

Like to me, a morning routine is waking up at the same time every day and moving your body you know doing a workout that's reasonable 45 minutes i think is a reasonable amount even an hour i think is reasonable having you know one or two things that take you 10 or 15 20 minutes and like call it a day but these things that people go on and on and on that's when like you're talking about balance when you're spending the majority of your day doing your morning routine that is ridiculous i'm sorry but they all call it their five to nine but i don't buy that they get all of that done between five to nine i know well the five that's that whole five to nine thing is a whole other say what it is because it's okay.

So five to nine is like this idea of everyone has the nine to five But some people wake up at five and then they have a whole five to nine and they but a lot of people act like they get like 30 things done between five to nine and I just don't know how realistic that is if you if you go and work out at a gym you have to drive there you have to park you have to go get up you have to you know what I mean then you do your workout you're working out for an hour maybe a 10 minute you know mobility warm-up then you're stretching for 10 minutes at the end then you have to shower and then you're done that's two hour session then you're driving home you know what i mean like no put from start to finish it's a load of garbage.

You're not getting anything done in that time.

You know what it is?

It's like people

say a lot of shit because it's like trendy.

You know what I mean?

Like, I find that people's even their hobbies, their habits, or whatever they're doing is because they hurt other people that they follow or people that they look up to are doing it.

So then they do it too.

Is it actually the fact that they actually like doing it?

Are they even doing it most of the time?

Who knows?

But the truth of the matter is that all of that, that whole, that whole like five to nine, nine this whole long day of the whole day being your morning routine is a it's not sustainable if you are doing it but more than that it's just

Then how do you really have balance if you're spending 97% of your day doing that?

You know?

I'm talking the basics.

I'm talking about balance in life, like work-life balance.

That's the kind of balance I was talking about.

I don't believe that's actually a real thing.

I think that there are some times when work takes a precedent and it's hard to

focus on everything and do everything well at the same time.

And sometimes you have to put more focus, of course, on your family and your personal life.

That's just what happens.

It's like a tug of war.

That's what real life is.

Real life is a tug of war that's ebbs and flows, that zigs and zags.

It's not always water leveling out.

I just think that we put too much pressure on ourselves anyway.

I think that's setting us ourselves up for failure.

I think it's setting us up for anxiety and so many other mental health situations when we believe that we should be balanced because that's the hashtag of the decade or the year.

That's my two cents.

No, I agree with that.

I think also like When you get older, I know you think I'm like a baby, but

I'm 30.

And as I've gotten older, I've I've realized how much more I need to be able to do it.

I need to prioritize.

I need to prioritize rest.

Like I can't, like when I was 20, I could go party and then like do school because I had time to sleep during the day.

I didn't have a job.

Do you know what I mean?

Like things were different.

It's easier to like, to basically have that kind of like, oh my God, work hard, play hard.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I gotta say, I can't really focus on that.

I don't know anything.

You're an old man at 30.

What do you mean?

I need to do it.

With no children.

Let me tell you something.

Do you go clubbing?

If you you go clubbing on the weekend.

No, but I'm 107 years old.

This is what I was going to say, okay?

Like, I do believe people are young.

Retirement home a lot.

I know.

Honestly, like, I should call the old folks home down the street and get you a, you know, get you a bed or a cot.

I'd love to.

Honestly, you're like exhausted.

Just constantly kvetching how she's tired, has nothing new sleep.

Yeah, I know.

Honestly, that's a whole, by the way, that is a whole other solo.

We could do a whole lot of people.

Okay, but I had a good point here.

So, what I was saying is that, is that like, if you, if you are building a company or doing a lot of work or whatever, you have to then prioritize resting.

So you can't like have this whole work-life balance where if you're working 18 hours, then you're all of a sudden like going out at night and having a social life.

That's just so not realistic.

Yeah, it's not real.

That's my point.

None of this is realistic.

There is a big distinction between what is realistic and what is just, you know, jargon because it suits the, you know, the ether or where we are in our life or a culture.

I think there's a major, major distinction between the two.

I'm just saying it how I, this is what I believe.

And you can disagree, you can kick and scream and yell.

I just think it's something that I think we all, we, we as a group of people, we fall into these, you know, catchy hashtags and then we try to live by them, which is so unrealistic.

And what happens is it just spirals and backfires on us.

And that's what happens.

So take the pressure off and think like, you know, it's okay that I'm hardcore in work right now.

It's okay that I'm like, can't focus on that work right now and I got to really focus on whatever's going on in my personal life.

Guess what?

That's called life.

That's all.

Wait, okay, question.

I know, join the Facebook group.

No, no, yeah, we'll definitely do that.

But hold on, I have a question.

I have a question for you about this.

So what do you, do you have a message for people out there?

Because I think you're really ingrained in the fitness world.

And a lot of people see these people who have, you know, 0% body fat, whatever, 5% body fat, and they don't realize that to attain that actually requires literally no balance.

So what's your message?

That's a great example, right?

And I think to me, what happens is you're giving the wrong messages out there that people who are like, oh yeah, I just, you know, I just wake up and I work out and I drink my green shake and I have this.

You know how much dedication and zero balance goes into having that six pack and that hard body?

You know how much balance, how much lack of balance goes into that?

That means very little are you socializing by going out for meals.

That means your social life is down the tubes, basically.

And if you do go out for dinner, you're bringing your own food in a container.

That's what you're doing because you're not going to let the restaurant cook because of all the added calories and fats and all the other shit.

So, lack of balance in the fitness business, when you want to look a certain way, is vital.

So, that's the first thing.

You got to make everything in life those choices, right?

You got to make a choice and choose what's important to you and what you're willing to give up for whatever that goal is.

That is the reality of things if you want to have a six pack and you are you don't there's going to be things that you have to you got you got to give up to to get that done and you know if you want to how about like run a hundred miles you want to run it or a marathon forget about an ultra marathon if you want to run a marathon how many hours you have to train for that like nothing comes easy or without a price nothing does there's no such thing as balance that's my point if you want to start a company if you want to like train for for something, if you want to be really good, if you want to be excellent, like really excellent in something,

there requires things that you have to give up in your life to maintain it or to even get to that point.

Nothing happens by just like doing a little bit.

And, you know, yeah, you can get better at something, you can progress 100%.

But if you really want to be exceptional, you're basically

diving in full force on something with zero balance.

Initially, at the beginning of the podcast, I was just talking about an imbalance.

Now we're talking about if you really want to go hardcore and be amazing and extraordinary, there's zero balance at a cost that is very high, which means usually no social life, no personal life, no friends, loneliness.

And that's okay for some people, which by the way, I'm not saying that none of it's okay.

I'm not, I'm saying all of it's okay, but just know it's a choice you make and not to be somebody who has to fall prey into what people tell you what you should do to have a happy life of balance because it's baloney.

Yeah, or falling prey to then you having all of these negative self-like talks in your head where you're thinking, well, I work out just as much as this person says they do.

I have the balance that they say that they have, but yeah, I don't have that physique.

Cause a lot of times, you know, they're posting about, oh, balance is important.

I eat carbs too, but really they don't.

If they have a six-pack, if they're doing this, they're sacrificing a lot more than they're opening up about.

By the way, I think there's something to be said for also where someone's baseline is, right?

Some body types, right?

Sometimes body types, they can eat different foods and they react differently.

They digest it differently.

Their body responds differently.

There's so much that goes on.

There's more design that goes on in on things like that.

That really is a whole other podcast.

That is a whole other episode.

If you guys want to hear more about that, I'm more than happy to share it.

Just guess what?

Leave me a comment so I know.

I'll talk all about that because that's a big one.

And if you guys ever have any questions or topic suggestions that you'd like to hear Jen talk about on the show, please drop it in the Facebook group.

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Woo!

Wow.

We're crushing it.

Yes.

We are cooking with gas, as Jen likes to say.

Cooking with fire, I say too.

Sorry, cooking with fire.

Thanks, guys.

Have a great day.

Leave a comment.

That's my big thing.

That's what I push.

Oh, and if you guys have not checked out my book, Bigger, Better, Bolder, please do.

I think that, you know, it's it's very valuable if you want to try to get to a place of more bold, being more bold, asking for what you want, chasing the life you get.

There's a lot of great ways that's tactile and practical that can help you get there with a workbook.

So check it out.