Episode 222: The Paradox of Choice: What Can You Do To Make Better Decisions

Hi, guys, it's Tony Robbins.

You're listening to Habits and Hustle, Gresham.

Welcome back to solo episode number, I don't even know what number.

I'm here with my foil, Shawnee, who is a great foil.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

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A couple weeks now.

In about three weeks or so.

Yes.

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And I know I'm very remiss in talking about all the things that I do or I am doing.

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And with all that being said, we're going to now jump into the topic at hand.

And the topic today that we're going to cover is the paradox of choice.

I think this is very important because, and just to kind of tell you what the paradox of choice is, if you're not really familiar, is that too much choice can lead to decision fatigue, analysis paralysis.

So the theory, of course, then is that too much choice is pretty much a bad thing.

And I'm a big victim of this myself.

And I feel like, you know, even when, you know, you go into a huge grocery store or like a big, you know, a Walmart or whatever it is, and there's so many choices, you get so overwhelmed with what they have available and what they offer that you end up with nothing.

Yeah, I was actually thinking about grocery stores as you were talking about this because I think that's like the genius of Trader Joe's: their limited options.

I couldn't agree more.

I couldn't agree more.

Like, you, you know, like, if you just go to even like a mom-pa grocery store or shop, you know, you have like maybe one or two types of bread, you know, a couple of different types of milk or cheese or whatever.

It doesn't overwhelm you with the idea of like it, you can literally sit there and stand there for days on days and hours on hours and then always have buyer's remorse.

Like, that's what happens to me.

I'm like, oh, I got this type of cheese, but you know, maybe I should have tried the skim cheese, the Monterey Jack cheese, the Monterey blend with mozzarella, not the one with the Jack and the Havarti.

Like literally, like everything now is so hybrid that it really can create such confusion.

And that's like a very simple, obviously a very watered-down example.

But I think this goes with a lot of things in life.

And so that's why we're talking about it today.

Yeah, absolutely.

And so with that being said, I have a few little notes that we've jotted down, right, Shawty?

Yes.

But the negative consequences of having too many options, including regret, disappointment, and this is the biggest one, decreased satisfaction with decisions.

So the question is, what do we do about it?

What do you do about it?

Because now there's so much.

of everything.

There's too much of everything.

News, options of who to follow.

There's so many different opinions that I think what's happening is we are not even even thinking for ourselves anymore because we hear so much in the ether of other people's thoughts, then we start to kind of regurgitate and take those, those in, memorize those without even knowing it.

And that becomes our train of thought.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that's, but that's been happening for like all of centuries.

Everybody's influenced by things externally.

Like our society influences, like just because I think it's crazy that women should have to shave their armpits, but men shouldn't, doesn't mean I'm not, I didn't get laser hair removal.

Do you know what I mean?

Like I still, like, I know it's insane.

I think it's crazy, the double standard that we can't be topless, but men can basically everywhere.

But I'm not walking around topless, like, freely.

So, I think that that happens non-stop.

Is that

no?

But you're talking about society influencing our decisions and us not thinking anymore.

So, I think we never think that's true, but that should be another podcast episode

about that.

That is actually a very true, that's a truism, also.

I think that's true.

Okay, paradoxic choice, though, you have to force yourself to not have to make, like, you have to just, you have to, you can't drive yourself crazy.

It's like you always talk about you have to just force yourself to make decisions instead of spending like 3,000 hours trying to decide something I think this goes back to even a basic point which is know thyself right you can be very easily swayed you but you should know what you like like what your taste buds are what you like what you don't like and limit your choices and this is why what I do I put a lot of things on autopilot and that's why I wanted to bring this up because a lot of times if you put some certain things that could cause you to go down that rabbit hole and could cause this whole analysis, paralysis, or feeling of stuck because there's too much to choose from, when you do the same habit or doing the same thing over and over and it becomes something that you do regardless, it doesn't allow you to sway.

And so, to me, that's very helpful in staying on course to what I'm trying to achieve, right?

So, if I'm trying to, you know, lose weight, I'm just making that up.

I'll only stick to certain foods that I will allow myself to eat and not let what's not available to me to deter how I'm going to get off track.

So to me, I think that is why I think habits are really important, structure and routine are really important.

And that's why I even eat the same breakfast every day, because left to my own devices, knowing that that is something that I will actually really mess up on my, you know, given my own, left to my own devices, because I love food, I wanted to always start my day off on the right foot.

So therefore, I always eat the same breakfast or the same two breakfasts every day.

So I don't like myself go off track.

But the bigger thing is, sometimes what happens, even with dating or guys, my mother would always say to me when I was younger, you know, that like too many options lead you down a bad path because you end up with nobody, right?

Because if you're always looking for the grass is always greener,

meet a dating app.

Has she seen one of these these days?

But nope, but it's true.

It's because you can always think the grass is always greener until you see its water bill.

That's like the big saying, right?

But I guess I really wanted to kind of throw this out there.

If people have ever felt and feel like this is something that happens to them on a regular basis in the world we live in now, there's more choices.

There's more options.

dating apps, like, you know, it doesn't matter who your date was with yesterday.

You could have had a great date.

And it doesn't matter.

It's like, okay, well, who can I go out with today?

And then you end up in no relationship.

That's why, by the way, I think this is the problem.

The paradox of choice is why people are not dating anymore.

They don't have relationships like they used to.

People are not having sex anymore.

I know that's a big one too, because people get so like overstimulated with what's available that they end up literally doing with no, no, doing nothing with nobody.

Yeah, it's crazy how that's happened.

I have, oh, I have a really good actionable item, by the way, for clothing, paradox of choice.

So, okay, a couple.

One is if you ever find a silhouette that you like, buy it in many colors.

I do that all the time and I think it's a really important thing.

Some people think, oh, well, I already have that style.

I shouldn't.

If you find a silhouette you like, please go buy it in a ton of different colors.

You'll thank me later.

And then the other is there's a really cool new thing that's been going around on social where people are, you can copy and paste your photos now if you have an iPhone.

I don't know if you've seen this feature.

No.

But you can literally hold down a picture of you and it will copy just you like a little icon and you can paste it into your notes app.

And there are people who are saving all of their good outfit combinations into a notes app.

So if they're ever like, oh, what should I wear?

I have nothing to wear, they can go to their notes app, they can look at their little outfit notebook and see like all the different combos and outfit combinations that they've picked over the years

and pick one.

So I think that that kind of stuff is like another way to sort of autopilot some of these really annoying choices that we have to deal with.

Or it's just simplifying your choices.

That's really, it's about how to, like, I guess the action item in this one is: if this is something that happens to you, then how do you simplify your choices to make this something that doesn't take over your life and where you feel like you're kind of like end up end up with nothing or not, or decision fatigue or buyer's remorse and all these things?

I love that example.

It's a good one.

For clothing.

That's why I always wear, by the way, a black tank top and jeans as my fancy outfit because I have, honestly, because I don't know what to wear.

I know.

It's so much, it's so much easier.

I have so many turtlenecks, black turtlenecks.

It's just the easiest outfit.

I just bought like another five black turtlenecks.

You know what you got?

By the way, people make fun of me that I'm like Raggedy Ann Ann because I'm like a doll that literally just wears the same outfit over, like, you know, exactly what I'm gonna be wearing all the time.

Raggedy Ann was a bad example, but I'm just saying, like, it's literally like, I do what you just said too, which is if I like something, I buy it in 20 colors and I just wear the same thing over and over and over again.

But then, like, there's this whole debate, which I didn't want to even open up Pandora's box.

Oh, please open.

Is that the fact is, like, when you have, like, my message is like about take advantage of all the, what's available to you, what's out there, what's all the options, right?

And therefore, with when you do that, you live a life that's way more authentic to you.

Now, I want to make sure this is a point that we like really distinguish between.

That is different from

decision fatigue and the analysis, paralysis of what happens when you have too many things to choose from.

There's a difference.

I think a lot of what we're talking about could really kind of stunt people's ability to grow.

So, you have to be able to have a self-awareness and reflect and see how is that stunting your life, or how are you actually using it to benefit your life?

How can it stunt your life?

Explain that.

Well, what my point was, one of my philosophy overall is to basically chase the life you want, right?

And take whatever, don't just take what's available, don't just acquiesce to what's in front of you, but go after what all the options are and take action.

That's something I want people not to make, don't don't make the two go hand in hand is what my point is.

I feel like they're slightly not so connected.

I mean, I guess maybe there's the paradox of choice when it comes to like life choices like that, but I think these are more like just all consuming, overthinking choices that we're presented with every day because our society is so full of stuff.

You know, you walk into a grocery store, you're shopping online, you're this, that, and the other.

It's like for clothes also, something I do, I know my color palette.

You can actually get colored.

You can get like tested.

It's like a whole thing and you can figure out what your color palette is.

I'm glad that you mentioned that.

I was just shooting.

And then it makes shopping so much easier.

So no, no, no.

This is exactly the example that I'm happy you brought something up.

So it's me and this whole beauty regimen makeup situation, okay?

Because I am terrible at skincare and beauty.

I mean, it is pathetic.

I don't know how to, I don't know how to wear, it's actually, it's unbelievable.

I don't know how to wear foundation.

I don't know how to put on eyeshadow.

I don't know how to put on blush.

When I do, I look like a good one.

Okay, forget makeup.

Everyone's, a lot of people are about to makeup, but skincare, come on.

No, no, no, no.

What I'm going to say is, let me just, let me just take it to the place I want to take it to.

I go to Sephora to say, listen,

to myself, self, I want to go buy myself the basics to then be able to put on, you know, to put on makeup on my face before I do things like this.

And I literally, without a question, every single time I've done that, I've left with nothing.

I've left with nothing in my hands because there's too many shades to choose from.

There's too many palettes to choose from.

And so therefore, I literally just leave.

Or what used to happen was I'd buy everything and then end up using nothing because I had no idea what to do with it.

Versus if they said,

there's one,

there's three for light, medium, and dark.

Now it's like a million lights, a million mediums, a million this.

It gets super confusing.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, in that case, just hire a makeup artist to tell you exactly what you need to buy.

and then buy those things online.

And you save yourself so much time.

I'm glad that you said that too, because that is a simple action plan.

Yep.

Yep.

All these action plans.

And that's what I've done.

So I've simplified my clothing, my beauty,

and my breakfast food.

But these things can be like they sound small, but they can literally take over and consume some people's lives every single day with these choices.

So honestly, I think streamlining them opens you up to be able to do the other thing that you're talking about, which is going and getting the life that you want and not acquiescing to things because you're not worried about like, oh, what do I wear?

What do I do this?

You have actionable items to be able to help you make those decisions super fast and save a bunch of time.

And at the end of the day, time is the only commodity that you literally can't buy more of.

It's the most important thing in this world.

So quickly, just to conclude, what you do when you have this paradox of choice, which is probably all of us at some point of our lives or in one way or another, or all the time, is you want to limit,

like...

set limitations.

You want to like create some kind of parameters of what you're looking for.

So you're not getting into that decision, you know, that decision fatigue.

And when you're walking into something, you have the parameters you've set already.

Also, trust your instincts, know yourself, set priorities so you're not just willy-nilly going into it.

We gave this stuff about putting things on autopilot, such as one meal a day, or like you were saying, about the, you know, also, and I wear the same outfit all the time.

So, you

know, what you're, what you're looking for when you walk into a store, right?

So, know, because I think more, sometimes more information you have before you make a decision really helps making a better decision.

Grocery list, right?

Super important.

Following a grocery list, a makeup list, you know, ask experts, ask people who are really strong in a certain area to maybe help guide you so you're not just like willy-nillying it like I do with makeup.

That's just my example, of course.

And the other thing you were saying was, of course, about the fact of I love making those outfits and putting them into notes.

That's a really good idea too.

So there's a lot of ways we can kind of create our situations where we're not going to be dealing with that analysis paralysis and the overwhelming amount of information and things and stuff that we can choose from.

Make it easy on yourself.

Make it easy on yourself and create these parameters.

It will make a major difference.

Again, that's just 101.

So hopefully that was somewhat helpful.

And that's it.

Let's wrap this up with, of course, subscribe, leave me a review, a comment, and of course, just join the Facebook group.

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Bye-bye.