How To Heal Your Relationship With Money To Attract Abundance

If you feel like you've tried everything to attract abundance in your life, but no matter what, you still find you're stuck in scarcity, I get it.

Because there was a time in my life where I felt the exact same way.

And today, I want to share with you the exact process that took me from making $16,000 a year living at poverty level to building a multiple seven-figure company.

Welcome back to the Healing and Human Potential podcast.

I'm your host, Alyssa Nobriga, and I am so grateful to be with you today.

When I was getting out of college, most of my friends went and got their first jobs and salaries, but I went on to graduate school and that ended up leaving me questioning my ability to make money for myself.

And it created a lot of doubt and comparison.

I didn't feel good enough.

I questioned whether I could actually support myself financially doing something that I loved.

And I would watch my friends succeed wondering if I could ever do it too.

When I set the intention to finally shift my relationship with money and I began this practice and this process I'm about to share with you, I had no idea what was possible.

I was literally blown away because within the first three months of starting my business, I broke six figures.

And so my old stories really had convinced me that it couldn't be this simple, that it had to be hard and it would take a long time.

But I just kept going and doubling that figure within a year and then continuing to grow my business to the place that it is today.

And the best part is that this process, you can start applying in your own life right now.

And this is going to take you so much deeper than just changing your thoughts around money.

It'll help you really heal the subconscious blocks that have you blocking the abundance that's available to you.

And so I want to start off by sharing something that might surprise you.

Your relationship with money mirrors your relationship with your parents.

Yes, you heard me say that right.

So you might never have thought about it in this way, but those early dynamics shaped how we learn to feel safe, supported, and worthy.

And so without realizing it, those same patterns are showing up in your financial life right now.

And so we're going to go deeper in just a moment, but for now, I want you to know that the relationship you have with money is showing you exactly what you need to heal within yourself to experience more abundance.

And by the end of our time together, I promise you this, you are never going to look at money the same again.

What I'm about to share with you isn't just theory.

It's what helped me discover a deeper freedom than any amount of money could have ever given me.

And so if you've been struggling with money, if you feel like there's never enough, or you're tired of that anxious feeling in your stomach coming up when bills are due, maybe you're hitting up against an invisible ceiling around how much income you can create, this episode is for you.

We're going to dive deep into the hidden psychology psychology of money and uncover those unconscious patterns that have been running your financial life.

I'll help you transform your relationship from the inside out so that you can finally align with the abundance that is your birthright.

And so now let's ground this into something that's more tangible and real.

When I first started realizing the connection between money and my caregivers, it changed everything for me.

And I'll give you a few examples of how this might be playing out in your own life so you can see it more clearly.

So if you thought you needed to abandon yourself to get attention from your mom, you might think that you need to abandon yourself to make money.

If you were looking for your dad's safety, thinking it was hard to get, you might project that same pattern onto money, thinking it's hard to get money.

Or if you thought growing up you couldn't get enough love, you'd probably project that onto money thinking you couldn't get enough money.

And so as you start to realize what you've been unconsciously seeking from money is the same thing that you've once tried to get from your caregivers, it changes everything.

And these are the same patterns.

They're just playing out in different areas of your life now.

And I want you to know it's not your fault.

and it's actually beautiful because this means that money becomes an incredible teacher showing you exactly where you're still looking for something outside yourself that's already within and what's even more powerful is that when you shift your relationship with money internally your outer world naturally shifts to reflect that not only in the opportunities your income but all of the results And I discovered this firsthand with my own healing around money.

So when I was six, my dad took a big risk in opening his own company and he did really well.

And that's when we moved to a bigger house.

So around that time, my parents were having some challenges in their marriage and I wasn't as happy.

So my six-year-old brain made that conclusion that when you make more money, you're not as happy.

So I unconsciously decided that playing small equals a happy family and that growing was a risk and it means being unhappy.

And for years, I sabotaged my own financial growth without even realizing it because part of me believed that more money meant less happiness.

It wasn't until I brought this belief into conscious awareness and questioned the truth of it that I was able to break free from it.

And that's exactly what we're going to do for you today.

But here's something that might shock you.

95% of our behavior is unconscious.

And so that means only 5% of behavior change comes from our conscious mind.

And so when you're trying to change your financial situation by thinking positively or just setting goals, you're only working with 5% of your actual power, right?

That's the other 95% is your unconscious programming.

And most of that was set by the time you were seven years old.

And so think about it.

The way we relate to money is based on the conclusions you made up as a child.

And because when you were seven and younger, your brain was in theta state, which is essentially like a sponge.

You're absorbing everything that you see.

You want to really watch for how your parents handled money, listening to what they thought about it, how they treated it, just the energy around financial conversations in your home growing up.

Essentially, what were the beliefs that you inherited, quote unquote, around what money is.

And sometimes you absorb conflicting conditioning.

So maybe your mom spent freely and then your dad saved every penny.

And so you've got mixed messages leaving your relationship with money feeling totally disorganized and confusing because it seems like you don't follow any logical pattern around it.

This is why.

And here's the thing.

This is the subconscious mind.

So it confuses what's familiar with what's safe.

So even if your financial reality isn't what you want, if it's what you know, your unconscious is going to keep recreating it because to your mind, the familiar feels safer than the unknown.

And so our beliefs are the lenses through which we view life from.

And so maybe you want more money, but you have an unconscious belief that I have to work hard to make money, or I have to sacrifice my happiness or my health to make more, or other people can do it, but I can't.

And so when it's unconscious, it's not about fixing it.

It's first about bringing it into conscious awareness so that it doesn't have power over you.

And so sometimes just seeing it is freeing.

Other times you're going to need to do some deeper work around it.

But just know that what you judge, you're stuck with.

So you want to see it compassionately, see how it's been trying to serve you.

And then ironically, you're no longer judging it.

You're no longer identifying with it.

And then you can change it.

And so before we dive into some of the deeper transformational work, I just want to be clear.

You could have all the best strategies in the world to make more money.

But if you have an unconscious limitation running the show, it's going to make it a lot harder to step into your goals.

It's kind of like you got one foot on the gas and one foot on the brakes.

And so I want to expose five of the most common money beliefs that I see hold people back from stepping into the abundance that they really want so you don't get sucked into these unconsciously.

These myths are so pervasive in our culture that most people don't even question or see that they have them.

So myth one, working harder, working longer makes more money.

So a lot of us grew up believing that if we just put in effort, then we were going to be rewarded financially.

But we all know that this isn't true because people that work the longest hours or are juggling multiple jobs aren't the wealthiest.

And don't get me wrong, having a good work ethic is honorable.

But the truth is money doesn't always reward effort.

What it rewards is creativity, strategy, and the value that you provide to others.

So working harder isn't the answer.

Working differently is.

And when you approach money and business with the intention of enjoyment, you naturally put more in, you grow in your mastery, and then abundance becomes more sustainable.

So myth two is that you have to ask for money.

I hear people say this all the time.

I hate asking for money.

But let me reframe this.

You're not asking for money, right?

You're charging for your services.

When you go to the doctor, do they ask for money?

No.

When you get a haircut, do they ask for money?

No.

They tell you their fees and you're empowered to say yes or no.

No asking.

And when you think you're asking for money, it's like you're a little kid projecting authority issues onto somebody else.

You lose your power.

But when you see you're charging for your services, you take your power back as a professional.

And so myth three.

is charge what you're worth.

I hear this all the time.

And this is one of the most common misconceptions from service providers.

They tie their self-worth with their net worth.

But the truth is, you are priceless.

Your services, on the other hand, are not.

And so what you charge is never a conversation about what you deserve.

The work that you do is independent from who you are.

And your pricing is about the value you provide, not your value.

Right.

That has nothing to do with you.

No one deserves more or less than another.

And so the secret to abundance is knowing your inherent worth and value apart from your income.

And once you know this, no one can take that away from you.

You step into your power and you feel free regardless of your bank account.

Myth four is I need to make more.

So this is oftentimes an unconscious story that's tied to scaring you into action.

And it seems like it might be motivating, but it's actually paralyzing.

This is a short fuel that burns us in the process and it leads us to procrastinate, to freeze and distract ourselves because it's actually too stressful and then we're not productive.

And so when you're able to relax your nervous system and and come more fully present to this moment, you realize that this is where real innovation, creativity, and resourcefulness come from.

And you discover the truth that you don't need anything more in this moment.

You wake up to the realization that thinking you need something in the future only keeps you stuck.

And from here, you can choose to create more, but now it comes from a different place, one that's more sustainable.

And so the myth is money gives me freedom, security, or happiness.

Yes, of course, money provides for our basic needs and creates a sense of material security.

And we all need that to some level.

But beyond that, the joy or suffering that's created through money is because of the stories we attach to it.

And think about it, somebody who finally hits their financial goal, maybe they hit their first six, seven figures, maybe they're buying their dream home.

After that initial rush of getting what they think they wanted, the anxiety, the emptiness, or that lack mentality still comes up.

It's not always getting what we want that brings us happiness.

Oftentimes, it's pausing the striving for something else in the future that brings us more happiness.

So just for a moment, we stop searching in the future or we're grasping for something that's not here yet.

And that alone is a relief.

And so it's less about finally attaining the thing and it's about stopping the chase that allows us to rest in this moment to find a deeper peace.

And so if any of those myths resonated with you, I want you to know this isn't about judging yourself.

These are patterns that were formed since we were young, watching people around us.

And at the time, they were the best way we knew how to take care of ourselves.

So now we're just doing the work to wake up beyond this unconscious programming and update what's more empowered and what's more true for us Before we dive back in today's conversation, I want to share something that can completely change your life.

If you're craving more than just inspiration and you want to actually live this work, then I have something special for you.

I'm hosting a brand new five-day challenge called Self-Doubt to Sold Out.

And inside, I'm giving you powerful embodiment tools, some straight from my paid accredited certification program, to help you discover life-changing tools that you can apply on yourself right away, how to embody unshakable confidence and have a wait list of dream clients, as well as how to heal your relationship with money so that you can attract the abundance that you truly desire.

So imagine feeling on purpose, doing what you love, making a real impact in the world and being financially rewarded for it.

This is what this is about.

Since real transformation happens through embodiment work, I'll be doing live demos, group exercises, so you don't just hear it conceptually, but you actually embody breakthroughs every single day.

And so whether you're ready to expand your toolkit, you want to have greater impact or just experience a greater level of freedom, this challenge is for you.

And I'll be giving away daily prizes each day, but all you have to do is click the link in the show notes or go to a listenabrigga.com forward slash challenge to save your spot while it's still available and free.

Okay, so I want to ask you something, but for this to work, you have to get present and really be honest.

I want you to ask yourself, can I know without a shadow of a doubt that the safety or the joy that I'm looking for money to give me isn't already here before I go looking for it.

Often it's our search for more that blinds us to what's already here.

And this is where true freedom and security live in the present moment.

But here's what happens.

Most people become victims to things outside of themselves that they can't control, right?

The stock market, the economy, other people's opinions.

And this is what I call outsourcing.

And it really just leads to frustration, anxiety, and manipulation.

And so the other option is what I call insourcing, where instead of waiting for for something like money to make us feel secure, we cultivate a sense of security with inside of ourselves.

And instead of needing financial success to feel worthy, we recognize our inherent worth and value, right?

We become the source of love for all of the disenfranchised thoughts, feelings, and sensations.

We become that home for those things.

And when we do this, we feel way more empowered.

And so let's dive into applying this specifically in your life with money.

The first step is to identify what I call the core wound around money.

And so this is your primary operating system, the pattern that's been unconsciously running your financial life.

And you can ask yourself, what's the complaint I have around money?

Maybe there's never enough.

I don't know how to make more or I can't seem to save, right?

Think about what's your common complaint.

And then once you see that, the second step is to identify what's the desire inside of that complaint.

So if it's I'm not making enough, the desire could be I want to feel more abundant or I want to feel more successful.

If it's I can't save, the desire might be I want to feel more secure.

But the key is to find out what is the desired feeling that you're really seeking through money.

Is it security, freedom, love, or recognition?

Once you identify that feeling, then the third step is to ask yourself, which parent or caregiver did I want that feeling most from growing up?

So years ago, I had a client who was repeating the same strategies that she learned as a child to get love, attention, and approval, only now she was using them to try to get money as an adult.

And as we talked about earlier, this is incredibly common.

And she was a high-functioning business owner, but she was burning out all the time.

This was the quote-unquote negative thing that was happening in her life that called her to see what was the unconscious programming playing out.

And when we dug deeper into that pattern, we realized that the over-responsibility she carried in her business mirrored the very thing that she learned as that pattern growing up.

She felt responsible for her mom's happiness and now she was overgiving in her business, offering too much for free, undercharging.

And because she equated love with taking care of everyone else around her, she burned out.

But here's the beautiful thing.

After she shifted this pattern, she had more boundaries in her business.

She even called her clients forward versus enabling them.

And she started making more money, enjoying her work more.

And so once you know what your core wound is, then you can stop projecting it onto money, your business and your clients.

And then you see those things aren't the issue.

They're simply the mirror.

And then the fourth and last step is to welcome the core wound.

So this doesn't mean that you're judging it or trying to get rid of it.

You're not trying to change it in any way.

You're genuinely being with it and you're forgiving any of the judgments that you previously held towards it so that you can start waking up beyond it.

That's what supports you in waking up to a more abundant truth.

And something I speak to a lot because it's that life-changing is that neuroscientists have discovered that it only takes 90 seconds to feel an emotion through your body without mentally resisting it or indulging it and it moves on.

And so that means all those years of financial anxiety, all the stress about money, it was really just inviting you to breathe into and allow the experience experience of what you were feeling for 90 seconds if you know how to skillfully do it.

And just know that your freedom, I promise you, is closer than you think.

But the problem is most people try to either avoid uncomfortable feelings around money or they get sucked into them and ruminate for hours, days, or even years.

And there's a third option.

You can feel it fully for 90 seconds as a sensation, not a story, and then it naturally moves on.

And know that feelings aren't hard.

It's a resistance to them that is.

And some people avoid emotions altogether.

Other people dive in and they don't know how to get out.

The goal isn't to indulge or avoid.

It's to allow the emotions fully for 90 seconds with presence and then they integrate into your nervous system.

And then you're going to start to feel empowered because you know how to stretch the range to meet your experience exactly as it is.

This is how you begin to transform the triggers around money in your life by seeing them not as the problem, but as pointers.

And triggers aren't bad.

They are breadcrumbs leading you back to the freedom you thought money would give you.

And so here's one of the most powerful principles that I've discovered in my work.

The very thing that you've been trying to avoid is the doorway to what you deeply desire.

And I call this the paradox of transformation, and it's the game of opposites.

So if you want to feel abundant, you embrace scarcity.

If you want to feel secure, you embrace insecurity.

If you want to feel peace, you embrace stress.

And I know this sounds backwards, but here's why it works.

So when you're running from a feeling, you're actually giving your power to it.

And oftentimes the ego is making it mean something about you.

But when you turn towards it with curiosity and compassion, you discover it's just energy moving through your body.

And if you're courageous enough to find this out for yourself, you discover that underneath the thoughts and feelings, there is a peace that is always available to you.

And so I'll ground this for you by sharing a story of a client who really met her fear of being seen, aka the fear of being judged.

So she was given the opportunity for her business to be featured on national television and it was big for her, her brand and the growth of her company.

But the day before the feature, she came to my office for a coaching session and all of her stuff came up.

And she was confronted with what she'd been running away from for years.

Avoiding all these feelings were the reason that she had been hiding and playing small so that she didn't have to feel all this.

And within less than a day before she was going to go on camera, the panic had set in.

So I invited her to meet it versus running away from it.

And she looked at me like I had lost my damn mind.

She told me if she felt it, she was going to vomit.

So naturally, I pulled over the trash can because I know that these avoidance strategies can be really convincing.

And I just told her, I'm here with you.

We're going to go there.

And she did.

She didn't end up throwing up, by the way, but what happened did surprise her.

By embracing her fears of being judged, she discovered a deeper acceptance.

And so who knew the way to embody her wholeness was through embracing her fears?

And of course, that makes sense that she didn't feel whole before because she was rejecting a part of herself.

But the moment that she stopped to welcome it, she felt free.

She was more at peace.

And then she went on to be on that show and she shined.

And that opened up opportunities for her business.

But more than that, she felt her inherent worth and value.

One less powerful part of this work that I'll share with you to help you break free from your unconscious story around money is a framework that helps bridge from your heart back up into your mind.

It's about reclaiming your truth about money and letting go of old inherited stories and consciously choosing what agreements you want to have with it now.

So for example, it's safe for me to spend money or money supports me and enjoying my life or it's safe for me to receive.

So let me walk you through how to do this with some examples so that you can start practicing this on your own and then really apply it to your own life and make this a reality.

You can say, I let go of the misunderstanding that I have to work hard for money.

The truth is, it's not about working harder that makes more money.

It's about getting creative and finding ways to offer value to others doing what I love, right?

So you're saying, I let go of the misunderstanding and then stating the truth.

So it's like, I let go of the misunderstanding that I never have enough.

The truth truth is there's always been enough.

I'm here right now.

That's proof.

Scarcity was just a story that I told myself about the future that would try to scare me into action so that I was safe.

But I can see that it doesn't work and I can let that go now.

And if you want to go deeper into this work, having me guide you personally for free, I'll share an opportunity about how to do that in a moment, but it's also in the show notes.

So the last thing I want to share with you is the deepest truth that I know about money and abundance.

And it's that the freedom that you are seeking in financial success is already here.

The abundance that you're trying to create is your very nature.

And the security that you've been looking for in your bank account is available to you right now in this moment.

And when you realize that, not just intellectually, but in your bones, everything changes.

You stop chasing money from a place of lack and you start creating it from a place of overflow.

This abundance is already here and it doesn't come and go.

Just your awareness of it does.

And so all we're doing is parting the clouds that block us from more fully realizing this.

And we use everything that comes up in our human experience from the breakdown to the breakthrough so that we can more consciously awaken to this deeper freedom and our wholeness.

And it doesn't mean that you stop chasing your financial goals or that money doesn't matter.

You actually show up more bold because you take risks knowing that your worth isn't tied up in it.

And it means you pursue goals, but from a completely different place inside of you, one that's more free, creative, and generous.

I hope this has supported you in starting to reclaim your power around money, but know that this is just the beginning.

and if you want to go deeper into truly embodying these shifts in your life and your business this is where i want to share that special something that i have coming up it's a five-day challenge where i'm going to take the work that we did today on abundance and financial freedom to a way deeper level this is where i'll give you powerful new embodiment tools from my training as a licensed somatic psychotherapist so that you can embody a deeper sense of confidence i'll be personally coaching you live pulling people up guiding you through transformational group exercises and giving you those practical tools that you can use use right away.

And this is for anybody that's interested in personal development work or if you're a new or experienced coach, therapist, and healer working in any niche.

And because this is live, you're going to be part of a supportive community of incredible humans that are really stepping into their power, making the impact that they know that they're here to make.

So to register, just go to the show notes or go to alistenopriga.com forward slash challenge.

And remember, your relationship with money isn't about forcing yourself to think positively.

You already have everything you need right now to transform your financial life.

Not because you understand how to get something you don't have, but because you're remembering what you've always been.

Okay, I hope to see you in the challenge.

And until then, keep loving yourself into the fullest expression of who you already are and know that the world needs your gifts and you get to be abundantly supported in sharing them.

I can't wait to see you live.

Thank you so much for doing this work that changes the world starting with yourself.

It truly does make a difference.

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It does help us grow and we are so grateful.

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I have so much more magic I want to share with you and I cannot wait to do that soon.

But for now, I just want to say thank you so much for being an example of what it's like to live with an open heart and mind in the world.