End of Year Ritual and New Year Intentions | EP 68

Welcome. I'm Alyssa Nobrega, your host of the Healing and Human Potential podcast, a place for you to discover the multidimensionality of what it means to be human.
Over the past 20 years, I've trained thousands of coaches in my methodology, leveraging my experience as a former psychotherapist, and I'm here to share with you all the wisdom and insights that I've learned along the way. Each week, I'll share with you life-changing tools to support you in awakening and manifesting your dream life from the inside out.
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We are almost at the end of the year. And as I sit here to record this podcast, I'm just reminded of all of the gifts that this year has brought.
So I just want to thank you for being here, for listening and to start implementing what I'm sharing here, because this is where your life changes. I've always found just before the end of the year can be a powerful time to reflect on the last 12 months and then set us up for intentions in the coming year.
It helps us consciously close things out and step into the new year with fresh energy. And so today I want to share with you a special end of year ritual.
I've been doing this ritual that consists of four prompts over the past few years, and it's beautiful. It's really meant to support you in taking a sacred pause to reflect, to really integrate all the lessons that you've learned in the past year, and then set you up for a powerful new year.
What I find is that the ego often looks for lack where we aren't yet. And this is a subconscious way to motivate us to do

better, to do more. So for example, let's say you have a fierce inner critic that tells you, you never hit your goals.
So why bother making them? And you feel really disempowered, or you don't even want to set goals in the new year. This is often unconscious for people, but if you've been doing personal development work for a little while, you may be more conscious of it.
And what I notice is that that pattern of criticism is trying to help us show up more so that we do reach our goals, right? So we are improving in the future. But when we investigate how effective it is, we actually see that it paralyzes us.
And then we completely miss out on the gifts and the things that we did step into this year. So it's important to slow down, to take dominion over this pattern of thinking and acknowledge all that we've stepped into and the lessons that came with it.
So we can take the intention of doing better in our lives, but we upgrade the approach for how we do it and how we improve, realizing that being compassionate with ourselves is actually productive. And so this practice that we're about to do is not only going to make you feel good, but it's also going to help you more powerfully step into what it is you want to create next.
Because it's really easy to look at where we're not and then totally miss out on all the doors that are opening in front of us right now. And so when we shift out of the mindset of not there yet or never enough, we open to the possibilities and we can see the opportunities in front of us more clearly that we may have missed before.
And so as you intentionally reflect on the experiences you've had this year using these prompts, it's going to help you zoom out and then realize how much wisdom you've gained over the last year. I'll guide you through this process right now.
So you want to grab a pen and paper, get comfy and really sit and reflect on some of these questions. I love being next to a fire with a delicious holiday drink, maybe some cacao or a little spiked eggnog, whatever your flavor is.
But this is a beautiful practice to do as a family with your kids. I've done that for many years.
I love that. You can also do this with friends or you can make it a solo sacred practice.
It all works. Whatever feels good for you this year.
And you can come back to this every year if you want. But if you do do it with a group, you might consider going around and sharing your reflections after you have some time to write it down.
I think it's a beautiful, more conscious way to connect as a family, to hold each other's dreams, or just learn from each other's lessons. Okay, so let's move into the four different prompts now.
And just know that you can elaborate on these questions. You can make them simple.
Whatever feels right for you, just drop in and capture what comes forward. You can also pause the episode as I guide you through each prompt, just to give yourself more time to reflect if you need.
You may even want to take time briefly now to look at your phone and just go through your photos of the last year to kind of refresh your memory. Or you can look at your calendar to recall some of the events that happened in the past year.
Okay, so the first prompt is to write down three things that you are most proud of from this year. So think back over the last 365 days and all that you've accomplished, and then write down three things that you can pinpoint that you are proud of.
This can be anything that's true for you, big or small. Did you finally start taking steps towards something you've been dreaming about, something you've been talking about? What are some goals that you've accomplished this year that you're proud of? Maybe you prioritized your health, you completed a pattern that you've been playing out for a long time, or maybe you started standing up for yourself.
Really tune in and start feeling into, did you set boundaries? Did you really learn to love yourself more fully this year? Did you start showing up as an amazing friend, partner, or parent? Tune in and start writing out whatever's true for you and feel free to write more than three if that comes up. In psychotherapy, there's something called the nourishment barrier.
And this is when we don't take the time to do something like this, where we just keep looking for the next goal to give us something without pausing and really

receiving of the acknowledgement of what we have stepped into. We end up creating this hungry ghost where we look for the next external goal to give us something that we aren't already receiving.
It's like the barrier is in the nourishment. So you taking time to pause and reflect on all that you've stepped into is going to help you feel more nourished, which will give you more energy to say yes to your dreams moving forward.

Again, you can feel free to pause here if you want more time. We're just going to move on to the next one.
So now list out three things that you've learned this year that you never want to forget. Did you discover new practices that you love or hard lessons that you don't ever want to repeat again in the new year? So maybe you came across a profound wisdom that really shifted things for you or you're clear that you want to let something go.
You don't want to take it into the new year. What I find is that sometimes people reflect on what they don't want, the things that they want to leave behind, but it comes with a level of judgment.
So maybe they say, I'm going to let that toxic person go, or I'm never going to be a doormat again. But then it comes with a level of resistance.
And when we judge something, we're actually stuck with it. So the intention is good, but we don't need to be in resistance to make a change.
And if you really hear the wisdom in that and incorporate that into your way of living, it can change your life. You do not need to be in resistance or judgment in order to change something.
Acceptance, not complacency, but acceptance to say this is what it is, helps you align with the moment, have more energy, and more proactively create the change that you're wanting. The other thing I see that people do, and I want

to highlight this for you, is that they focus on the person and not the pattern. And when we do that, we get sucked into drama thinking it's really about them.
It's not. You got to focus on the pattern because that pattern can play out with lots of different people.
And I like to think of life like school. We're an earth school where we're presented with people in situations to help us evolve and grow.
And so life gives us infinite opportunities to learn those lessons, whatever we came here to learn. And as we do, we don't need to repeat them in the same dynamics over and over again with different people.
We either evolve or we repeat. So when we condition ourselves to look for the learnings, it helps us keep our heart open.
And that gives us a sense of compassion for ourselves and whoever else the person or situation that's helping us learn that lesson. My approach to life is that I want to use everything for my growth and evolution.
So for example, this year I learned instead of bending over backwards to make other people happy at my own expense, which I learned in childhood, that pattern got developed then. I'm now prioritizing my own health and well-being, knowing that it comes first.
And sometimes you can know these things, but there's deeper levels of integration. It's kind of like watering a plant where that water seeps in at a deeper level.
And so I'm learning to be with the part of me that thought I needed others to be okay for me to be okay. The part of me that wasn't comfortable with others being upset, so that I learned to take care of that part in me first, and not play into being over responsible for them.

So this is not only empowering for me, it's also instant.

I'm starting to see that I can walk away from things that are not in alignment.

And when I do, it's actually replaced with something better.

But I have to be with that part of me that's scared to let go or scared to do

it differently in that gap between where I am and where I want to be. And so think about what you're

learning and what you're leaving behind this year with an open heart and with gratitude for all the

learnings that you can implement moving forward. I encourage you to write these down.
Not only is it going to help you ground them, but then you can also review them anytime you need a reminder. Okay, so let's move on to the next one.
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Because making gratitude a daily practice is a great way not only to boost your mood, but also strengthen your relationships and improve your overall mental health. And for this exercise, reflect on the three things that you're most grateful for this year.
So when I reflect on this, I'm reminded of how grateful I am for all the joy that I experienced this year. I really started intentionally prioritizing pleasure and play this year.
That was my intention. And being able to travel and experience the beauty of so many places around the world, leaning more into having fun, both fed my marriage, but it also strengthened bonds that I have with my family and friends.
I had a milestone birthday this year. I turned 40 and I went to my favorite place in the world, Bali.
I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. It feels like this new decade is about enjoying the life that I've built rather than trying to build more.
And I know my forties are going to be the best decade of my life. That is until I hit my fifties, in which case I'm going to make those the best years of my life.
And I'm also grateful for hiring a CEO who is rocking my world every single day. This is a prayer that I've been working on for three years and it came true beyond my wildest imagination.
So I just want to name, if you had a dream in your heart that you've been working on and it hasn't happened yet, it is still on its way to you. Trust the timing of it.
So you can either write down things that you're grateful for or people that you're grateful for. So who are the people that you couldn't have gotten through the year without? Maybe some remarkable friends or family.
And so in the spirit of gratitude, I want to share a practice that I came across recently in lieu of, or in addition to holiday cards. So sending out an end of year gratitude card to the people who really positively impacted your year is so simple.
It's a beautiful gesture, but it can make a huge impact in their life and let them know that you really see them and that you're grateful for them. It can be anyone.
And when you take the time to share this, it truly makes a difference and can light somebody up. It can make their day.
Whether it's writing them a handwritten card, that could be the icing on the cake. Or if you don't have time for that, or you express through your heart and your voice, send them a voice note.
So for the last prompt, what are the three things that you want to call in for this upcoming year? So fun way that I like to do this is to imagine that it's the end of next year, and you said, that was the best year of my life to

a friend. So tune into your heart and notice what happened for you to be able to say that.

How did you feel? What did you do? Or what did you notice in your mind's eye? What images came

forward? Just notice, who did you spend time with? What experiences did you cultivate and create? What goals did you have that happened for you? Just take a moment to feel into it. You can follow the thread of aliveness, of excitement, and just see what are you wearing? How do you move through the world? What are the things that you've loved from this year that you want to continue moving forward in next year? So getting really clear on these things and writing them down helps you set intentions more easily to create your vision.
You might just want to narrow it down to focus on three intentions that you have for next year. And so once you've clarified this, notice how you have to show up to live into and honor this calling.
And so as you're clarifying this, notice what it feels like as if you were already living into it. Embody that quality right now.
See if you can find a word for this quality that can encompass everything you want to step into for the next year. So having a quality for the next year is like a North Star.
It really reminds you about how you want to feel and what you want to create in the world. And so if you're having a hard time making a decision or choosing a specific direction, you can reflect on that word.
I'm not personally big into New Year's resolutions, but a word for the year really resonates with me. I actually choose a word for every six months because my birthday is in the middle of the year.
So it's a good time to reflect, but a lot of people stick to one word for the year. I used to have a tune in because I want to check in with my body and my intuition.
And I used to hear trust as the word. And that happened for maybe like six years.
Every year I would tune in and I'd hear trust I'm

like oh my god I'm still working with this but I didn't feel like it was really sexy and yet when I really sat with the quality of trust I knew if I could embody that that would deeply and profoundly change my life if I could live from a sense of trust so it felt true and it felt right so I want to invite you to really tune into your heart and your body not just your mind to listen to what your word is. Okay, beautiful.
So those are the four prompts. If you're doing this in a group, go ahead after you've written everything down, go around and share with each other so you can learn from each other's wisdom and really celebrate and hold what you're stepping into.
And if you want something that I've done and loved is put this piece of paper in an envelope, close it, seal it, and it becomes this time capsule that you can review at the end of each year to look back and see how far you've come. So last year I did this with my stepkids, their mom, my husband, and it was a really beautiful way to connect deeper and create a ritual out of it.
So I highly recommend doing it each year and just making it your own flavor, whatever feels creative and good to you. Send this episode to a friend or a family member that you want to do it with so that you can hold each other accountable because doing it in communities really a beautiful way to make sure that you prioritize it and make a ceremony or a ritual out of it.
And so I hope that reflecting on this past year and seeing your insights on paper in front of you has helped you really create a clear path moving forward with a full heart. I know how beneficial it can be to do a practice and a ritual like this for my body, my mind, and my soul.
And so I hope that it's helped you tap into your gifts and the learnings that this year has brought versus getting caught up in the egoic trap of focusing on where you're not. And remember to take notice of the people, the places and experiences that energize you, really leaning into what lights you up and steering clear of the things that suck your energy.
I would love to hear your wisdom and insights that came up for you. If you feel called to share them with me on Instagram, tag me, send me a DM.
I love connecting with you. May this open your heart and mind and help you feel more connected and grateful for the blessings that you have in your life.
And may this upcoming year be the best year yet. Thank you so much for doing this work that changes the world, starting with yourself.
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