Introducing ‘It’s Rom-Complicated!’ How to Find Love by Watching Rom-Com Movies (Seriously!) Episode 1: ‘Groundhog Day’

Speaker 1 women don't chase manipulation and moves. Women chase and pursue awesomely authentic men, like the guy Phil Connors becomes in Groundhog Day.

Speaker 2 Columbia Pictures presents, I may be having a problem.

Speaker 3 Bill Murray, I'm reliving the same day.

Speaker 1 Over and over.

Speaker 2 In a story about a weatherman who's living life

Speaker 3 like there's no tomorrow.

Speaker 2 Don't drive angry because there isn't.

Speaker 3 I am an immortal. I have been stabbed, shot, frozen, electrocuted.
You're a god. I'm a god.
I'm not the guy.

Speaker 2 Groundhog day, rated PG at Theaters Friday.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach Connell Barrett.

Speaker 1 I'm here to help you learn to flirt, get more dates, and get a great girlfriend, all by being authentic. No sketchy pickup artist moves needed.
And I have a question for you.

Speaker 1 What if you could become a chick magnet by watching chick flicks? Might sound crazy, but hear me out.

Speaker 1 I believe that romantic comedies, for all of their over-the-top meet-cutes and grand gestures and like klutzy but adorable leads, I think they reveal a lot about what men and women want.

Speaker 1 about how to connect, about how to find love.

Speaker 1 And also, I'm just a big movie nerd and I I love movies. So that's why you're listening to a special recurring episode of the first episode of what's called It's ROM Complicated.

Speaker 1 This is a special recurring feature right here on the How to Get a Girlfriend feed. And in this recurring series, we're going to be breaking down rom-coms to see what they get right.

Speaker 1 And also hilariously wrong about dating in real life. We're going to hand out awards.
We're going to call out the best and worst dating moves.

Speaker 1 We're going to share some fun behind the scenes trivia and tidbits. And yeah, there's going to be a few dating tips along the way.

Speaker 1 And I thought, what better day to start this than on Groundhog Day, which is when this episode drops. So today we're going to look at the movie Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray and Andy McDowell.

Speaker 1 It's the ultimate time loop love story where Phil Connors gets infinite do-overs in his quest to win the heart of Andy McDowell. But does he actually earn the heart of Andy McDowell?

Speaker 1 We're going to talk about that right now. And to make this episode even better, I'm bringing in a very special guest, my girlfriend Jessamine.

Speaker 1 Who better to do the inaugural episode of It's ROM Complicated on the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast than my girlfriend Jessamine?

Speaker 1 So let's dive in and talk about Groundhog Day. Jessamin, welcome back.

Speaker 4 Thanks. Thanks for having me back.

Speaker 1 My pleasure. I'm psyched you're here.
We just re-watched Groundhog Day.

Speaker 1 I love this movie. I think I love it more than you, as we might find out.

Speaker 1 I've seen it many, many times. It's one of my favorite 90s movies.

Speaker 1 Before we get into the movie and also the different categories of some of the good, the bad, the ugly in terms of dating and Phil's behavior, tell me a little bit about if you could go back into your life and think, what day would I like to go back and relive over and over again like Bill Murray had to do as Phil?

Speaker 1 What day would you do over and over?

Speaker 4 Oh man,

Speaker 4 so many days to choose from.

Speaker 1 I would actually,

Speaker 1 I had two days in mind. One was a big event in my

Speaker 1 family's history. My dad turned 85.
This was 10 years ago. My dad's birthday is Halloween.

Speaker 1 And maybe the best day of my life, at least up to that point, was my dad's surprise 85th birthday, where it was a Friday night, and we're trying to figure figure out how to surprise him, my five siblings and I.

Speaker 1 And because his birthday is on Halloween, we made him think we were not going to surprise him. And then we had all these different guests from his and my mom's past show up as trick-or-treaters

Speaker 1 and ringing the doorbell every 15 minutes on Halloween, his birthday. So every 15 minutes, a different surprise guest showed up with a mask on saying, trick-or-treat, and happy birthday, Denny.

Speaker 1 And it was just really emotional. And it was an amazing day.
That'd be pretty intense to relive over and over again. I was going to say.
It's very emotional.

Speaker 1 And then, in terms of just a regular humdrum day, which is what Phil essentially does in this movie, is he takes a regular day, Groundhog Day, and turns it into something special.

Speaker 1 I just love our Saturdays together

Speaker 1 where we cook, or you usually cook, and we listen to music and we

Speaker 1 try to get your dumb cat to be with us, even though she never wants to.

Speaker 1 And yeah, I just love kind of our lazy Saturdays together. What about you?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, sort of in that same vein. I think, honestly, Sundays are pretty underrated.

Speaker 4 And if you're going to relive a Sunday over and over again, like once you realize that you're reliving it over and over again, it's like, oh, it's like a

Speaker 4 Sunday of a holiday weekend. Like, there's no Monday

Speaker 4 next day. There's no Sunday scaries.

Speaker 4 You just get to lean into the general relaxation that comes with a Sunday. Things aren't super busy.

Speaker 4 It's, you know, just generally a very laid-back kind of thing.

Speaker 4 I have a lot of good associations with Sundays. You and I will usually at least spend like the morning, afternoon, just kind of hanging out.

Speaker 4 Yeah, trying to get my dumb cat to just acknowledge our existence.

Speaker 4 Just to put it out there, like, I love my cat.

Speaker 1 Her name is Boots, and she's perfect.

Speaker 4 Booties, Booties, we love her. She's our dummy, but she's just shy.
I wish she wasn't shy, but

Speaker 4 our first date was on a Sunday. And I think

Speaker 4 first dates on Sunday nights are totally underrated and totally underappreciated. Because it's, you know, the next day is like, it's a school night.
Like, the next day is work. Right.

Speaker 4 There's, you know, you're not. expected to like be out late.
It's not going to be crowded at like bars and restaurants.

Speaker 4 There's no pretense for, you know, that you kind of get with sometimes with like a Friday-Saturday night date. Yeah.
So, most Sundays, I think I would be happy to relive over and over again.

Speaker 1 Great answer. By the way,

Speaker 1 dear listener, go back to an episode. If you want to hear about the art of a really good first date, Jessimin and I talk about our very first date back in an episode that dropped in November.

Speaker 1 So you can check that out if you want to hear more from the two of us about how I got my girlfriend. Okay,

Speaker 1 let's talk about Bill Murray and this movie. And,

Speaker 1 you know, this feed or this recurring series is called It's Wrong Complicated. And it is kind of complicated with Bill Murray because I think he's a genius.
He's a comedic genius.

Speaker 1 He's an amazing actor, a great improviser. At the same time,

Speaker 1 there's a lot of problematic behavior that has occurred. and actually did occur during the filming of this movie.
So let's talk about the good of Bill Murray first. He's

Speaker 1 iconic. You know, SNL.

Speaker 1 He came to fame on SNL and starred in all these great movies, Ghostbusters,

Speaker 1 Groundhog Day,

Speaker 1 so many classic films. And in my previous career, before I became a dating coach, I was a journalist.
And I got to briefly meet and interview him. And I found him to be,

Speaker 1 he was fine. He was not, I had no problems with him.
But I got a little insight into his comedic brilliance by talking to the Fairleigh brothers once. I got to interview the Fairleigh Brothers.

Speaker 1 And the Fairleigh brothers did a movie called Kingpin, which is about bowling. And I went and I was talking to them about what it was like to work with Bill Murray.

Speaker 1 And I said, what was it like working with him? And they said, oh, he's incredible at improvising. He's a genius.
And I said, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 And they said, every day we would give him the script for that scene.

Speaker 1 He played a bowling, a famous

Speaker 1 world-class champion bowler, very arrogant, over-the-top arrogant. And they said, every day we give him the screenplay of what he was going to do.
And he would look at the pages.

Speaker 1 He would go, nope, that's not going to work. And he would roll up the

Speaker 1 screenplay pages into a ball and throw them into a trash can. He's sitting in makeup as he's doing this.
And then he would improvise everything he said. And they said, and we...

Speaker 1 They told me in this interview years ago, and you know what? Everything he improvised was better than anything we had written. So, comedically, he's just a genius.

Speaker 1 Um, what's your opinion on Bill Murray as an actor?

Speaker 4 He's he's definitely a notable, memorable player in the realms of comedy in general.

Speaker 4 He's, you know, kind of like what you're describing, very similar to like Robin Williams, just having a very unique approach and very

Speaker 4 noteworthy comedic moments throughout their careers.

Speaker 4 I mean, I grew up with Bill Murray. I'm pretty sure Groundhog Day came out the year I was born.
So, like, we're talking about my early comedic

Speaker 4 experiences being a lot of Bill Murray movies, because that was a big period for him.

Speaker 4 As a rom-com leading man, I have other thoughts.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 I cannot doubt that there is something to be said for his comedic career and how he's become such like a

Speaker 4 just a key person who's inspired, I'm sure, tons of other comedians throughout their careers.

Speaker 1 Well, before we get to the categories, we're going to do what's what I'm calling the rom comies.

Speaker 1 We're going to give out some awards, we're going to break this movie down in some fun little categories. Before I do that,

Speaker 1 I have a special, unique relationship to this movie. So I saw it when it came out originally, way back in 93, because I'm a thousand years old.

Speaker 1 So I remember when it came out. And then I would re-watch it every couple years.
And

Speaker 1 it was in the early 2010s, I would say 2010, maybe 2011. I had just spent the last

Speaker 1 18 months of my life working really hard on my dating life. So, for anybody who hasn't listened to this podcast before, I used to suck with dating.
I'm naturally introverted. I was very shy.

Speaker 1 I had really low self-confidence. And I really struggled with dating well into my mid-30s.
Then I started working with coaches. I worked really hard on figuring out what works with women in dating.

Speaker 1 And then I got really good pretty quickly. And I over-corrected.

Speaker 1 I became a little bit arrogant. I went through a period of thinking, you know, oh man, I'm dating three or four women.
I'm approaching girls. I'm getting all these matches on the apps.
I'm the shit.

Speaker 1 Remember the scene in the movie in Groundhog Day when he says to Andy McDowell,

Speaker 1 I'm a god.

Speaker 1 And she says, You're not God. He's like, Well, maybe not the God.
I'm a God.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. What was that again?

Speaker 5 I'm a god. You're a god.

Speaker 5 I'm a god. I'm not the god.
I don't think.

Speaker 4 Because you survived a car wreck?

Speaker 5 You folks ready to order? I didn't just survive a wreck. I wasn't just blown up yesterday.
I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned. Oh, really?

Speaker 5 And every morning I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender.

Speaker 5 I am an immortal. Special today's blueberry blueberry waffles.

Speaker 1 I went through a period where I kind of felt that way about myself. It's amazing what the ego can do,

Speaker 1 what can happen when you all of a sudden get some success in an area where you struggled. And so anyway, early 2010s, I'm re-watching this movie and I'm watching this and I have an epiphany.

Speaker 1 I realize, holy shit, I'm becoming kind of a dick.

Speaker 1 I'm bad Phil.

Speaker 1 I remember I had a date once where I was doing my shtick, my cocky, funny kind of stuff that was working. And this woman looked at me and she looked at me and said,

Speaker 1 does this work what you're doing right now?

Speaker 1 She totally called me on my shit. Probably something you would have said had that been used.

Speaker 4 It is absolutely something I have said to at least three different men.

Speaker 1 What is

Speaker 1 share? Tell us.

Speaker 4 I mean, that's basically it, guys. Just like coming up with, you know, whatever

Speaker 4 negging sort of pickup line kind of BS. Like, yeah,

Speaker 4 this works for you?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 How many times does work? Like something to that effect. And it just kind of shuts it down.
It's great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I remember vividly where I was at this little

Speaker 1 cool, like kind of cool underground cocktail lounge. And I'm doing my shtick and my cocky lines.
And, and it wasn't so much nagging her. It was just a bit of a persona.

Speaker 1 It was like too cool for school persona.

Speaker 1 And it was my version of bad Phil. So anyway, so I'm watching this movie 2011, early 2011.
And I realized, whoa, I'm I'm way too into myself.

Speaker 1 And I'm becoming arrogant, and I'm making dating all about me.

Speaker 1 I think it's because I worked with these pickup artist dudes who said, be self-amused, play up like this kind of like, almost like a narcissistic side of you. And that worked to an extent.

Speaker 1 But anyway, so I watched Groundhog Day early

Speaker 1 in that decade, and I realized I got to make some changes. I got to stop being so damn selfish and, or I should say self-obsessed.

Speaker 1 And what I loved about watching the movie through that lens then was how Phil

Speaker 1 he makes a change about two-thirds of the way through the movie. He realizes I need to start working on myself and becoming a better person.

Speaker 1 And I need to start being much more generous and giving to other people. And I literally went from watching Groundhog Day to thinking, okay, how can I be more like Phil?

Speaker 1 The good Phil, I should say. And there's a great scene where Phil brings coffee to Chris Elliott and Annie McDowell after being a total jackass for most of the movie as this arrogant weatherman.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, here's a Danish. Here's a Danish.
Here's some coffee. And he's asking them their opinion.
And I started to do that. And it felt so much better.

Speaker 1 And it also helped my dating results.

Speaker 1 Women could see, oh, wow, he's not a jerk. He's confident, but he's actually interested in me.
He's listening. He's sincere.
He's vulnerable.

Speaker 1 He admits when he doesn't know something.

Speaker 1 And anyway, just watching the movie and it affected my behavior and actually helped my dating life get even better, but not because of a persona, but because I was being really genuine and a lot more generous with the women I'd met and also just working on myself, trying to make myself better.

Speaker 4 You were a more handsome version of good Bill Murray with better teeth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I have a personal love of this movie that you might not share just because I remember thinking, I need to work on myself.

Speaker 1 And what I learned, and I'll end on this note, then we'll get into some fun categories. But if you really want to get a girlfriend and

Speaker 1 become the kind of man who

Speaker 1 really will make a woman say, wow, this guy is really somebody special. All I really did once I got good at the mechanics part of dating and flirting is I just said, how can I get better today?

Speaker 1 What hobby can I take up? It was actually, I took up improv around the time that I watched this. I said, I need to bring something new into my life.

Speaker 1 I started taking improv classes, started taking Italian classes, and I could just share interesting things about that I was learning in ways I was growing when I would meet women.

Speaker 1 And that's a really attractive guy. I mean, don't you think, from the formerly single woman's perspective,

Speaker 1 are women, do you think women are attracted to a guy who's working on himself, who's confident, but... but grounded? What are your thoughts? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 4 If somebody's, you know, you see that, I think you see that really if you're on the dating apps and you see, you know, a guy that's put effort into how he's presenting himself on the apps, just like, you know, with his photos, his bio,

Speaker 4 you know, there's humility, there's, he's presenting himself in a way that's like, I'm interesting and I want to meet an interesting person and learn more about them versus somebody who isn't putting in that same effort.

Speaker 4 And it's still kind of in that self-amusing space. Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, they're actually, it's not just about dating, getting laid, that process.

Speaker 4 It's about genuinely just meeting people and having meaningful relationships, even if they're short-lived or long-lived,

Speaker 4 just genuinely interested in life.

Speaker 1 Well, so.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, there's some other things about Bill I want to get into. I say Bill because, you know, we're good friends.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But we can get into that in the categories. So let's get to the categories, these, the rom-comies.
We're going to break down the movie in different little

Speaker 1 categories and awards. The first one is the Meet Cute award.
We're going to rate the Meet Cute. In rom-coms, usually the couple meets in an absurdly

Speaker 1 non-realistic way.

Speaker 1 So this question is, how adorable, awkward, or absurd was their first encounter?

Speaker 1 And the thing I noticed watching this with you recently was the meet cute, they pretty much already know each other, or at least Bill Murray knows Annie McDowell's character from the TV station they work at in Pittsburgh.

Speaker 1 And so they don't have like a super meet cute. They do have, it's a kind of a cute moment where she's standing in front of the

Speaker 1 weather green screen and she's enjoying how silly she looks on the screen.

Speaker 1 He definitely notices her. So I kind of like that it's more real world.
But in terms of a meet cute moment, it's like a six out of 10 at best.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think the introduction of the two, I mean that moment specifically, right?

Speaker 4 The kind of, you know, oh, I saw her from across the room kind of thing, like that was, it's not particularly eventful, but, you know, it's, you see her personality contrasting with him being all like, you know, shitty and bitching about, you know, having to go do this assignment on Groundhog Day.

Speaker 4 But then I think in like the next scene, they're in the van, they're driving out there to Pucksatani, and you get more of that relationship-the hot and cold of her being like new and sighted and idealistic, and him just being like, No, actually, all this is terrible, and I hate everything.

Speaker 4 And she's like, Okay, great. Um, so you there's it's kind of an extended meet cute, I think, and it's very pretty classic as far as those go.

Speaker 4 It's not, I don't know if it falls into adorable or absurd. I think it's just

Speaker 4 it, it it happened,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 it happened in a pretty real-world way. It doesn't feel like

Speaker 1 a movie capital with a capital M. Even though this crazy, cosmic, impossible magic thing happens that this day repeats over and over again.
Everything else is a lot of the movie is very grounded.

Speaker 1 And I like that they met in a normal, relatable way. And we get to see that they,

Speaker 1 he's clearly very attracted to her right away, but she is not into him at all.

Speaker 1 Right. Why do you think she's not into him at first?

Speaker 4 I mean, she doesn't know him, right? So she's just met him, and he's just this grumpy guy, and she's not at all grumpy. And they're co-workers.

Speaker 4 So the, you know, the tension is kind of built from them being coworkers in this sort of workplace rom-com scenario, which, like, they're not, she's not going to see him that way at first.

Speaker 4 They're not going to see each other that way.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 If anything, he's just seeing her as like

Speaker 4 a, I don't know, I don't want to say sex object, but like, oh, yeah she's cute and then just kind of like moves on from it

Speaker 1 all right next category next award the chemistry test

Speaker 1 sparks or duds how hot is their chemistry from brother sister

Speaker 1 to get a room guys what are your thoughts

Speaker 4 it was just it was a very classic chemistry setup but when they actually like

Speaker 4 have when there are moments that they're supposed to have chemistry or it's like you know

Speaker 4 the scene is set that way,

Speaker 4 it doesn't land, at least not for me.

Speaker 4 It's like, okay,

Speaker 4 the dialogue is the dialogue throughout the movie, it is actually pretty solid.

Speaker 4 And everyone, you know, does their jobs well, but their actual chemistry,

Speaker 4 I just don't know how it passed the initial chemistry testing, to be honest. It was, it was PG and it was very accessible, but it definitely wasn't hot.

Speaker 1 Right. You know, it's a PG movie, and I think their connection toward the end is believable.

Speaker 1 The way she sees the man he's become, that I think is,

Speaker 1 for lack of a better term, earned. It makes sense.

Speaker 4 Them settling into each other's personalities and how different they are.

Speaker 4 That shows up towards the end. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I don't think they have incredible chemistry.
I don't think you need crazy hot chemistry in Groundhog Day.

Speaker 1 It's about the jokes.

Speaker 1 It's a comedy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Although that said,

Speaker 1 I do like her warmth, how it pushes up against his coldness at first, his sarcasm.

Speaker 1 So in that sense, it's an interesting kind of a slow burn.

Speaker 1 Early on, you can see

Speaker 1 how you can see why he's attracted to her. She's beautiful.
She's Andy McDowell.

Speaker 1 And we can see why she's not into him at all. There's that scene where

Speaker 1 he finds out that she has him set up at the bed and breakfast, not at the other hotel. And he refers to himself, oh, good, it's good.
It's a good producer who knows how to take care of the talent.

Speaker 1 So clearly we see how that arrogance, there's a lot of truth in this, is that arrogance pushes her away or makes her, does not, she does not see him as somebody she's going to be instantly attracted to.

Speaker 4 And I don't see her as him as somebody that she'd be immediately interested in. So it works.
It's believable. It's definitely believable.

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Speaker 1 Okay, next we have the Steal This Move Award, the best dating move from the movie to try in real life or that you could try in real life. I have a couple thoughts here.

Speaker 1 Do you have anything that you, as you were watching this, you were thinking, oh yeah, I could see that would be, that could work on me or that could work in real life.

Speaker 4 Honestly, the only, like, I just, oh God. Okay, hear me out.
There's this one moment.

Speaker 4 There's no context for this scene and it's never really explained, but it's when on one of the days he like shows up to the movie theater with this random woman

Speaker 4 and he's like in this full cowboy getup.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like Clint Eastwood.

Speaker 4 And there's really no explanation for it, but that's the only moment where I was like, you know what?

Speaker 4 If a guy invited me on a date and either said like, hey, dress up as a French maid, I'm going to dress up in a full cowboy getup. I could actually, like, that could work.

Speaker 4 If the symmetry is there and your senses of humor are lined up, that's like the one thing I'm like, yeah, no, I get that. But otherwise,

Speaker 4 that was really all I remember standing out.

Speaker 1 Okay, I've got a huge one.

Speaker 1 So there's this incredible set piece about a third of the way through the movie where we, you know, he's trying to seduce Annie McDowell.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the first time they go out on

Speaker 1 this, for lack of a better term, date, they're spending the evening together, they go pretty far.

Speaker 1 It goes pretty well. They start to connect and

Speaker 1 he is essentially letting the chemistry within reason happen organically.

Speaker 1 And there's something to be said about allowing

Speaker 1 natural chemistry to just arise, as opposed to what happens then as he repeats the day over and over again, he tries to force the chemistry by manipulating things, which we'll get into and what not to do in a second.

Speaker 1 So, I think one takeaway that you should learn about, that the single guy listening to this should take away from that is

Speaker 1 don't force it. Let chemistry arise if there is any.

Speaker 1 Don't try to force it with a woman on a date. And you might have a really good, and he actually has a really good date with her.

Speaker 4 Of course, it's a million miles from where I started out in college.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah? You weren't in broadcasting or journalism or anything like that?

Speaker 5 Uh-uh.

Speaker 4 Believe it or not, I studied 19th-century French poetry.

Speaker 1 Le Fiqui je meraire, c'est a con bonfaire.

Speaker 1 Qu'e c'est bonfière.

Speaker 1 Impe.

Speaker 4 You speak French.

Speaker 1 You You know, she even comes back to his

Speaker 1 B and B room

Speaker 1 and they're having a really good date. Of course, he screws up by trying really hard to get her to hook up with him.

Speaker 1 But I feel like one lesson is just let it arise. Just let the chemistry arise and don't force it.

Speaker 1 That was one thought I had.

Speaker 1 Oh, and the other one is this is more of a long-term play, but this is really where Phil

Speaker 1 changes the game and his whole life in general. But also, I think he becomes so much more attractive to Rita,

Speaker 1 which is to take up a really cool, fun, interesting skill.

Speaker 1 Now, you might not have 20,000 days to repeat over and over again like Phil does, but Phil really levels up by saying, you know what, I'm just going to take up jazz piano.

Speaker 1 I'm going to become really good at ice sculpting.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start working on myself.

Speaker 1 So this is more of a long-term play, but if you want to to steal a move from this movie, that I really, that really helped me a lot is pick up some kind of passion project,

Speaker 1 whether it's picking up a musical instrument or, okay, maybe not sculpting ice, but working on yourself in some way, because that gives you something to talk about on a date with a woman.

Speaker 1 Or she might say, Oh, so what have you been up to lately? Tell me a little bit about you.

Speaker 1 And you might talk about, oh, I just got back from taking jazz piano like Phil does in the movie, or working on learning some kind of language.

Speaker 1 And that gives you something to talk about on a date where you get to express something cool and interesting about yourself.

Speaker 1 That's going to be an attractive trait to a lot of women, especially if they like your type.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and it goes back to that idea of, you know, you're putting effort into who you are as a person and how you're presenting yourself.

Speaker 4 on a date and it's it yeah it generates conversation beyond the you know standard interview questions that come up on every first and second date.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm taking piano lessons right now. I just want to impress you.

Speaker 4 You just want to be interesting on our dates.

Speaker 1 Yeah, on our 700th date.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I see that from you.

Speaker 1 Okay, next award, next category, the Don't Do This Award for the Worst Dating Move.

Speaker 1 Anything come to me?

Speaker 1 Well, I'll go first here. There's an obvious one here.

Speaker 1 There's an amazing scene. It's so cringeworthy.
He meets a woman named Nancy.

Speaker 1 And he, because he's repeating, he's in this time loop, he's repeating this day over and over again.

Speaker 1 He walks up to Nancy and gets all this information about her and then uses it and makes her think that they know each other. So the

Speaker 1 glaringly obvious don't do this award is don't lie, don't pretend to be literally, he's literally pretending to be somebody he's not.

Speaker 4 He's manipulating her.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's manipulating her and it's complete. Yeah.
It's completely.

Speaker 1 When I watched it the first time, it was hilarious. Oh my God, that's so funny.
He's just pretending he went to high school with that woman, Nancy, so he could hook up with her.

Speaker 1 And as I watched it again with you last week, I was like, oh my God, this is so,

Speaker 1 so manipulative, so gross.

Speaker 1 And sadly, it's still what some people teach in the world of like the whole toxic pickup artist world.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And I imagine now with

Speaker 4 the internet, you know, it's you can do tons of research on somebody before you meet them. And it's,

Speaker 4 you know, it's like, oh, you could see that being like some sort of weird pickup artisty thing.

Speaker 4 Like, you know, do as much research on her as you can and, you know, you'll be able to agree with her and have all these. It's like, no, it's just manipulative and

Speaker 1 boring. Right.
Quite honestly. I think

Speaker 1 there's a way to do a little bit of research about, not about the person but about something that you know they're they're interested in to be able to talk about that thing and i don't think we did this i don't think i did this before our first date but you know you and i had been texting about

Speaker 1 about your i think you i i i knew you were into dance or you were into some kind of theater

Speaker 1 and i suppose i could have done some research and and learned a little bit about what you were into but research if you know a woman you have a date with is really into skiing or really into a certain band.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Do a little research on the things she's into so you could talk about it.
You might want to ask her some questions that might engage her. So there's a there's a good Phil way to go about

Speaker 1 using intel about somebody versus what he did, which is say whatever it takes to get Nancy

Speaker 1 into bed with him. Right.

Speaker 4 And then he used the pretty much the exact same approach and technique with Andy. And that just, that whole scene was even more cringe inducing when he finally got her back to his room.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. She says we counted.
She said no like five different ways, five different times.

Speaker 4 Like the but her body language, like all the signs were there. All the signs that one should be looking for on dates were all there.

Speaker 4 And he just did not, he was plowing through and it was just vomit inducing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was me. It wasn't that bad, don't get me wrong.
I wasn't as gross as Phil, but absolutely.

Speaker 1 Get her back to to your place, make her feel comfortable, all this seduction stuff. I did stuff at least in the vicinity, in the direction of what he was doing.

Speaker 1 And I remember thinking, well, I guess this is what you do.

Speaker 1 And I just, I didn't feel good about it in terms of,

Speaker 1 you know, I never did this one. There's, there's a really gross move some guy said at a seminar once.
He was like,

Speaker 1 it was

Speaker 1 it was like right before you're getting closer to intimacy, sex.

Speaker 1 And he said, well, never ask her if she wants to have sex. Ask her, should you, ask her, should I put the condom on or should you?

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Like using like sales technique stuff, like, you know, so do you want to take the 36-month rental or the or lease or do you want to buy it? It's like, maybe neither.

Speaker 1 Maybe she, maybe neither of us should put this condom on. Maybe we should take our time.

Speaker 4 Everybody knows a real gentleman puts his own condom on.

Speaker 1 I think that goes without saying.

Speaker 4 Like, the question shouldn't even be in, ah,

Speaker 4 so many feelings.

Speaker 1 Thank you for giving me the cold open soundpipe for this question.

Speaker 1 Nailed it.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Okay.

Speaker 1 Next category. It's the this aged like fine wine.

Speaker 1 This category is, what's something that's timeless and great about this movie? For me, it's just the message of

Speaker 1 constant and never-ending growth and improvement is one of the ways to be fulfilled in life. Just always be working on yourself, always trying to get better.
I think that message is universal.

Speaker 1 I think one of the

Speaker 1 most fulfilling things I've ever done in my life that's made me happy is

Speaker 1 letting go of a certain result or not being so result-oriented in life and just saying, you know, I just want to get a little bit better at things. I want to learn new things.

Speaker 1 I just want to always grow and improve. So to me, that's aged, like

Speaker 1 fine wine. That and

Speaker 1 Needle Nose Ned.

Speaker 1 Ned is amazing in this movie. Needle nose Ned.

Speaker 4 He deserved a spin-off, but we'll get to that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 4 the concept of kind of what you're saying, like the message of being able to work on yourself, you know, it's about the journey.

Speaker 4 I think the whole premise of having to do the same day over and over again, it's a very interesting premise that can be used in a number of ways.

Speaker 4 The movie Palm Springs recently, a few years ago, when that came out, that really took that

Speaker 4 timeline and did it really, really well.

Speaker 4 And you had two characters that were in that loop

Speaker 1 that had some lessons learned along the way.

Speaker 4 That's absolutely a timeless concept.

Speaker 1 If you had to guess,

Speaker 1 how many years do you think Phil was

Speaker 1 stuck in that loop?

Speaker 4 You know, I feel like I had always just assumed it had something to do with like, oh, it's

Speaker 4 because the whole thing is, you know, we have six more weeks of winter. So my thought was

Speaker 4 he does six weeks worth of days, but I know that's not right because that's impossible. I mean, he has to get in 10,000 hours of becoming a piano player.
So

Speaker 4 yeah, God, it had to have been

Speaker 1 years,

Speaker 4 right?

Speaker 1 Not just what I would assume it takes at least five, maybe 10 years to get that. It takes only five years.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Five years sounds about right.

Speaker 1 But he was also getting great at ice sculpting.

Speaker 4 He did the ice sculpting.

Speaker 4 He did something else, didn't he? I mean, he was doing the snow stuff too.

Speaker 1 Oh, right, right. And why why can't it say story?

Speaker 1 Maybe that's maybe you learn. Maybe you get good at sculpting snow faces while you're getting good at ice sculpting.

Speaker 4 Right. He had his piano lesson in the morning and then his

Speaker 1 right. Harold Ramos talked about this.

Speaker 1 He changed his answer when he was asked about it. First, he said, oh, it was probably about 10 years.

Speaker 1 Then he said 30 years.

Speaker 1 Some have said a thousand years.

Speaker 1 And he, you know, one of the things about this movie that I think has also aged well is the tonal changes.

Speaker 1 It's a comedy about a gruff but kind of lovable guy named Phil. And then it becomes really dark.
He's suicidal. I mean, he's jumping off of buildings.

Speaker 1 It gets really dark and bleak. And then it becomes a rom-com in the last, basically the last half.
And

Speaker 1 I don't know, maybe it must have been a long time he was stuck in that loop if he's if he's willing to jump off of buildings and get into a bathtub with a toaster

Speaker 1 with bread still in the toaster, which I love as he electrocutes himself.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 If you're going to kill yourself, and please don't try, but if you're going to do it, if you're going to use a toaster, you may as well toast some bread while you're doing it.

Speaker 4 Right, in case you like survive for a few minutes and eat a snack.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Let's Let's talk about the next category. What has aged, not like fine wine, but like warm milk.
What has not aged well in this movie?

Speaker 1 I think a big thing that hasn't aged well is Bill Murray's reputation for

Speaker 1 onset behavior.

Speaker 1 He, now, Andy McDowell has always spoken well of him. She had no issues with him.
But Gina Davis wrote a book, came out a couple years ago.

Speaker 1 She talked about some pretty gross things that she alleges Bill Murray did on the set of,

Speaker 1 or when they were filming a movie called Quick Change, which Gina Davis.

Speaker 6 But I have to ask you about this one particular thing that's getting some attention from the book.

Speaker 6 You write about alleged sort of abusive behavior on the part of Bill Murray, your co-star in the 1989 film Quick Change.

Speaker 6 You say he used,

Speaker 6 this is just a weird set.

Speaker 6 You say he used a massager on you during a private meeting or tried to and got to for a little bit and another time berated you in front of the casting crew, yet you never said anything about it at the time.

Speaker 6 You said those were ways to test you.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 7 you know, I only learned later what it was about. It was at the audition that

Speaker 7 before he would let me audition or talk about the role or anything,

Speaker 7 I had to let him

Speaker 7 put this massager on. I had to lay down on a bed in the hotel suite and let him put this massager on my back.

Speaker 7 And he was so insistent about it that I knew I was never going to be able to leave the room unless I went crazy

Speaker 7 you know

Speaker 1 without

Speaker 7 you know being forced to do this thing and I found out later that it was because he

Speaker 7 I had just won an Oscar and he thought I'm not I'm not going to cast her unless I know she's not going to think she's all that and she has to have to be sure that she's going to do what I want

Speaker 1 and then there was a movie a couple years ago an Aziz Anzari movie I forget the name, that basically got, the movie got canceled because Bill Murray was accused of some sort of inappropriate behavior.

Speaker 1 And the movie still to this day never was never finished. So Bill Murray's reputation, I think he's a comedic genius.
I also think there's a lot of

Speaker 1 there's a lot of problematic behavior that a lot of people have brought up that is clearly aged poorly.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I think now like going back and watching it and seeing the movie itself and his character and Groundhog Day and then, you know, it's kind of like, oh, you know,

Speaker 4 are we actually just seeing him being himself in some of these takes? You just, you don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 You just watch it a little differently.

Speaker 1 Well, he

Speaker 1 essentially his relationship, friendship with Harold Ramos, the director, ended during the filming of this movie

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 he was going through, Bill Murray was going through a divorce when they were making this movie. So he was going through a lot of personal issues.

Speaker 1 And Bill Murray is famously difficult to contact, to reach. He would just disappear for days at a time, apparently.
And I read this in Entertainment Weekly.

Speaker 1 He was having real problems with Harold Ramos. And so

Speaker 1 the studio insisted that Bill Murray give them somebody who could be the constant go-between so they could be in touch with him because he would just disappear.

Speaker 1 and not be in touch with anybody and they'd have to shoot scenes without him. And so to be kind of a dick, according to this article, he said, okay, fine, I'll bring somebody who'll be my

Speaker 1 liaison. And he found a deaf person.

Speaker 1 Just as a total F you.

Speaker 1 And their relationship essentially, their friendship ended, Bill Murray and Harold Ramos, until Harold Ramos

Speaker 1 was near death. I guess apparently Bill went to Harold's deathbed and they had some kind of

Speaker 1 some kind of reconciliation. So this movie ended their friendship.
Just a real bummer. It's a great movie.

Speaker 1 So, Bill Murray, you know, he hasn't really been canceled per se, but I feel like his reputation has taken a big hit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I think he's, I feel like he recently came out and made some statements about, you know, he's really almost fully retired from,

Speaker 4 you know, big blockbuster movies. He hasn't been in a big movie in a decade at least.
And he does acknowledge his behavior, sort of, but

Speaker 4 you know,

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Speaker 1 Okay, next category, the What Are They Wearing Award, calling out iconic or terrible fashion choices. Any thoughts from

Speaker 4 so again,

Speaker 4 I, when I, this movie came out early 90s, and when you and I were watching it, I'm looking at it like, okay, I don't remember the early 90s because I was an infant, but

Speaker 4 I'm like looking at the fashion. I'm thinking like, this is, was this made in the 80s and then like filmed in the 80s, late 80s, and then like put together in the 90s.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 It wasn't particularly bad for the time, but it was definitely dated. The hair, the clothing choices.
I can't remember the name of the costume designer, but I clocked her name.

Speaker 4 I was like, what, what happened here? Here's a story here.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's, I think it came out in 93, and it looks like 1987.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And, you know, you would know better than I would, I guess.

Speaker 1 Yes. Now, I kind of, because I'm from that era, I sort of have a thing for the whole 80s look.
So I liked Rita's puffy, floofy, Andy McDowell's fluffy, poofy hair. I do have her.

Speaker 4 I think I'm a little jealous of puffy, floofy hair, because my hair will never be that at all, no matter what I do.

Speaker 1 Next category. Did they make Kiss Terry?

Speaker 1 K-I-S-S.

Speaker 1 When they finally kissed, when they finally got together at the very end, how did that,

Speaker 1 how would you rate their kiss on a scale of one to ten?

Speaker 1 Sizzling hot?

Speaker 1 Modeling. Right.

Speaker 4 I'm thinking like, is the scale good or bad? Because it definitely made history as a pretty terrible kiss. Like it just kind of looked like I don't know if it's like his face just looks like that.

Speaker 4 It just they looked like mashed together. It just is not.

Speaker 4 I think the setting was very romantic. Yeah.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 1 we're not watching Bill Murray movies

Speaker 1 for the hot sexy makeouts.

Speaker 1 But I did feel like the romance was, I think they justified it. It was quote-unquote earned.

Speaker 1 But at the same time, it's not like I was like, oh man, this is...

Speaker 1 This is turning, this is a turn-on.

Speaker 1 Definitely not.

Speaker 4 I've seen some pretty good kisses.

Speaker 4 This is not on a good kiss scale.

Speaker 1 This might be my favorite category. Next, the No One Talks Like This Award.

Speaker 1 In this movie, there were two moments that jumped out. One was when

Speaker 1 Phil is sitting in the diner and he's stuffing his face with crawlers and drinking coffee out of a giant pitcher, and he's just basically in I am God mode.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Annie McDowell Rita starts quoting French poetry.

Speaker 4 The wretch concentered all in self.

Speaker 4 Living shall forfeit fair renown, and doubly dying shall go down to the vile dust from whence he sprung, unwept,

Speaker 4 unhonored, and unsung. Sir Walter Scott.

Speaker 4 What, you don't like poetry?

Speaker 1 I love poetry.

Speaker 8 I just thought that was Willard's code. I was confused.

Speaker 1 And then there's a very rom-commy moment later where he's finally starting to appreciate how wonderful she is. And he says, oh, you like boats, but not the ocean.
You like this, but that.

Speaker 5 You like boats, but not the ocean.

Speaker 5 You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There's a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof.
And a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone.

Speaker 5 You're a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones.

Speaker 5 You're very generous. You're kind to strangers and children.

Speaker 5 And when you stand in the snow, you look like an angel.

Speaker 5 How are you doing, this?

Speaker 5 I told you, I wake up every day right here,

Speaker 5 right in Punxatoni, and it's always February 2nd.

Speaker 5 And there's nothing I can do about it.

Speaker 1 And it's really, it's sweet, but just people don't talk like that.

Speaker 4 No,

Speaker 4 I remember those same moments thinking like these are absurd, but

Speaker 4 with the actual flows and movie and the setting of it, it didn't really pull me out. You know,

Speaker 4 it worked for what it was.

Speaker 4 The quoting when he quotes back French poetry to her on their date, it's like, ugh, gross. But it's...
it technically works.

Speaker 4 And I'm still in the, okay, this is an absurd romantic comedy where he's like learning about her and memorizing all these things

Speaker 4 and going to extremes in all these directions. Like it's definitely strange, but it works for what it is.

Speaker 1 Next, we have the Judy Greer Award for the best supporting character or the character we'd like to see a movie about. To me, I want to see a whole movie about Ned Needle Nose Ryerson.

Speaker 4 I want to see, yeah, like a, it doesn't, I don't know if it's a feature necessarily, but just, you know, something about his life, what he's been doing, how he got to stay in fashionably

Speaker 4 tilted, tuxatoni, because he seems to be like a pretty BMAC on, or BMOC in like that area. He's like the insurance guy.
There's got to be some there.

Speaker 1 I heard a theory.

Speaker 1 It was on some other movie podcast talking about Groundhog Day, and they said,

Speaker 1 what if Ned is in his own time loop

Speaker 1 and he is, he's reliving his day over and over again.

Speaker 1 And he is just, he hasn't evolved yet. He's stuck because he's this annoying guy who comes up and tries to sell you insurance.

Speaker 1 And he's not going to be able to escape until he finally grows into the man he was meant to be.

Speaker 1 I thought that was a pretty cool theory.

Speaker 4 Or maybe that's, yeah, maybe he's reached like the peak of his evolution, just being like constantly positive and forever going to sell insurance. And he's just accepted it.

Speaker 4 And it's like, you know what? That's fine. That's also an option for how you can live your life.

Speaker 5 What a shock. Do you have life insurance?

Speaker 6 Because if you do, you can always use a little more.

Speaker 5 Am I right or am I right or am I right? Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 That's as good as it gets for Ned, maybe.

Speaker 1 Okay, the genre swap. If this movie was remade in a different genre, what would the movie be like or what would the title be?

Speaker 1 I've got a couple thoughts here.

Speaker 1 Maybe sci-fi, Edge of Tomorrow,

Speaker 1 Horror,

Speaker 1 Groundhog Sleigh.

Speaker 4 Ooh, yeah, or just like

Speaker 4 Groundhog's Day, like ground, like grinding up hogs, like ground tongs.

Speaker 4 Horror movie.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 I'm not a horror freak.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, they're actually grinding up the hogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like soil and green. Soil and green is people.

Speaker 1 And then Cinemax After Dark, Poundhog Day. Come on.
Who wouldn't want to watch Poundhog Day?

Speaker 4 The main location in the film, Gobbler's Knob,

Speaker 4 is right there.

Speaker 1 Gobbler's Knob is going to be the location where they shoot pound hog day

Speaker 1 uh next category the tear-jerking trophy what moment got to you what moment made you tear up or maybe not literally but got to your heart a little bit for me it's when he's i just have a soft spot in my heart for for older people and when he's trying to bring the old man

Speaker 1 When he's buying him soup, just watching the old man eat soup and Phil is giving him a second bowl and the the older homeless man looks at Phil when he realizes there's a second bowl coming and he's just so appreciative.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, it's just so sweet.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the old, the old man, I think that it was obviously designed to be the tear-jerking moment. I didn't get anywhere near tears or jerking at any point in this movie.

Speaker 1 Just for the record.

Speaker 4 But yeah, like when he's doing the CPR on him and like the alley, it's a very like emotionally inducing moment.

Speaker 1 Well, they'll be jerking when we watch Pound Hog Day. Right, naturally.

Speaker 1 Oh, I forgot. I forgot to mention, just real quick, going back to they don't talk like this.

Speaker 1 Remember when the old man passes

Speaker 1 and he says, oh, I want to see his chart. What happened? Remember what the

Speaker 1 nurse said?

Speaker 1 It was just his time.

Speaker 1 It's not the way nurses talk, I don't think. No.

Speaker 4 I mean, they might if it's like real busy and, you know,

Speaker 4 it's like, yeah, this nameless old person has come in and died. And that does probably truly just happen, but

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, a couple more, and we'll be good to go.

Speaker 1 Happily Ever After Award.

Speaker 1 How long do they last? It's February, the movie ends, it's February 3rd now.

Speaker 1 How long do these kids last? Days, weeks, months? What's the over-under?

Speaker 4 I still don't know what an over-under is, but I'm not going to tell you. That's fine.

Speaker 4 That keeps the mystery alive in a relationship is me not understanding gambling terms.

Speaker 4 It's like, you know, so they're so they're co-workers that have just hooked up that are in a romantic relationship now. So they've got maybe one month of like

Speaker 4 fun sneaking around, you know, early stages, and then it's

Speaker 4 all right, well, I guess we should be in a relationship now. So now they've got a month of dealing with like HR and

Speaker 4 making that, you know, public.

Speaker 4 And then maybe another month of just pure toxic chaos. And

Speaker 4 either they decide, yeah, we're going to be toxic together forever or they're going to shut it down. So anywhere from three months to forever is my best guess.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Three months to forever.

Speaker 1 I think, actually, I think as a couple,

Speaker 1 I think actually I could see them working long term because Phil has, again, he's just gone through at least 10, maybe 30 years of growth.

Speaker 1 He's incredibly evolved. And I think Annie McDowell's character, Rita, I think she's a wonderful catch, and I think she's got it all together.
Here's the problem for this couple.

Speaker 1 He has just lived, I don't know, 50,000 straight days over and over again. And now he's about to go into the, back into the regular world and everything's going to be different.

Speaker 1 I think that's going to be traumatizing for him.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I didn't think of that.

Speaker 1 I think all of a sudden he's, he's, it's the ultimate culture shock.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying that's going to, that's not necessarily going to end their relationship, but I think first he has to just, he needs like a year of therapy just to re-entry.

Speaker 1 It's almost like there's something called re-entry shock. I think when,

Speaker 1 when, uh,

Speaker 1 when, what's the term for people who formerly incarcerated, right? Yeah. Right, yeah, yeah.
It's almost like that. It's like he just got out of prison in a sense, or a kind of prison for a while.

Speaker 1 So he might not be datable for a year or so.

Speaker 1 He might need deep therapy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's like aged 30 years, but he's still the same. And now he is.
Yeah. Yeah.
I didn't think of that.

Speaker 1 Two more. The Grand Gesture Award.

Speaker 1 Most rom-coms end with some big, grand gesture. But what I like about Groundhog Day, one of the many charms, is that there's not a huge romantic gesture.
It's actually really small.

Speaker 1 The moment when we really see that he has changed is they're just lying in bed together, and she's actually asleep, and he's saying how she's the kindest, sweetest person he's ever met.

Speaker 1 I knew that I wanted to hold you as hard as I could.

Speaker 1 I don't deserve someone like you.

Speaker 1 But if I ever could,

Speaker 1 sorry I would love you

Speaker 1 for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1 To me, that's the big gesture. And what I like about it is it's not a big gesture.
It's a really small, sweet, understated gesture. So

Speaker 1 I'll give it a swoon on a scale of lame to swoon. Not because it's grand, but because it's actually really understated, but sincere and sweet.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I agree. I think it's like a light, swoony moment.

Speaker 4 He's finally wrapped up his journey. And it's, yeah, it didn't need to be a grand gesture.
I think that would have pulled everyone out of it.

Speaker 1 Actually, the big gesture comes from her when he's, when she

Speaker 1 buys him in the auction.

Speaker 1 Remember that? Yeah, that's that's the gesture. I like that.
They flipped it. She's the one who's who's making the gesture.

Speaker 4 Right. I mean, he, yeah, I guess he kind of kicked it off with the piano playing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And speaking of that, I'm so glad I wanted to bring this up. As a dating coach, I hear this so often.
I hear, and there's so much, so many videos and

Speaker 1 so-called experts talking about this on social media.

Speaker 1 It's the idea of making a woman chase. How do I get her to chase me?

Speaker 1 What do you say? What do you do to get a woman to, quote, chase you? And I hate the concept of chasing somebody, that you can manipulate them. into getting them to chase you.
I think what

Speaker 1 we learn from watching Phil realize that he can't get

Speaker 1 Rita to quote chase him. It doesn't work because it's not real.
It's manipulative. It's forced.
It's dishonest.

Speaker 1 She actually starts to pursue him when he just becomes more evolved, more awesome, when he stops trying so damn hard. He's great.
He's taking piano. He's giving of himself to others.

Speaker 1 He's helping little old ladies with the flat tire. He's just become such a great, not great, a better man, a good man.

Speaker 1 And that's when Rita starts to notice him and starts bidding on him for the auction and essentially becoming really attracted to him. What makes her quote chase is not any manipulation or move.

Speaker 1 It's just him

Speaker 1 being a man who's just putting so much great mojo and karma into the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, being

Speaker 4 on it,

Speaker 4 being your authentic self is what makes you appealing to the people that you want to be interested in you.

Speaker 4 The chase is just human interest and wanting to pursue somebody and learn more about them and be a part of their life and have them be a part of yours.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, there's a great moment when he's finally turned a corner. He's really accepted his situation.
He's realized, you know what, I'm going to accept where I am and make the best of this.

Speaker 1 And there's a great moment when he's eloquently talking about what Groundhog Day now means to him on air, on the camera. He talks about

Speaker 1 being welcomed into the people's hearts and hearths of Punxatani.

Speaker 8 But standing here among the people of Punxatani

Speaker 9 and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts,

Speaker 8 I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.

Speaker 1 And that's the moment when Rita looks at him and says, hey, Phil, that was great.

Speaker 1 Do you want to go get coffee?

Speaker 1 And it's not because he said anything gamey or manipulative. It's because he's just evolved into an even better, the best possible version of him.
And that's what's making her interested.

Speaker 1 I just, I just, I think that's a great lesson. And you can't teach that in a pickup class.
You got to earn that. You have to become that man.
You can't fake that.

Speaker 1 That's exactly. Yeah.
And he's like, sorry, I got to go. And he's busy catching a child who's falling out of a tree.

Speaker 1 I'd love to meet you. Can we take a rain check? I got to go catch this kid who's going to fall out of a tree.

Speaker 4 Yes, we do.

Speaker 1 Oh, another one last quick dating tip that I love about

Speaker 1 good Phil. And you might be able to speak to this.
I think you probably would agree. is that he never totally loses his dickishness.

Speaker 1 Right? He's still a little bit of a dick, right?

Speaker 4 He's a smart ass. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's an edge there that I think is cool.

Speaker 1 And not everybody has that dickish edge. I do.
And I let it come out, but I, not in a fake way, but don't lose that edge. And he doesn't lose it either.

Speaker 1 He still, you know, he saves that kid who falls out of the tree, but he's like, well, you never thank me.

Speaker 1 I'll be back tomorrow, maybe, you know, but of course he will.

Speaker 1 He really has become super like the most evolved version of him, and that's why Rita goes for him. So, I guess my tip for you guys listening is just spend 30,000 years in a time loop,

Speaker 1 become

Speaker 1 super evolved, and then you can date your Andy McDowell type.

Speaker 4 You can hook up with your co-worker, okay.

Speaker 1 Last one, the final category, the final award: what is the movie's biggest love lesson? I'll let you go first, ladies first.

Speaker 4 How about you go first?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 4 my final thoughts are that

Speaker 4 the ROM of this rom-com isn't really, it's not the focus, right? It's not,

Speaker 4 I'm not convinced that the romantic aspects of this are the primary messages that we're supposed to get from this.

Speaker 4 But maybe you have a different take as, you know, an expert.

Speaker 1 I think that

Speaker 1 the romance

Speaker 1 i think it's a device

Speaker 1 he needs to find motivation to grow and he needs to become worthy of love

Speaker 1 and so my the biggest love lesson for me from groundhog day is to become worthy of an incredible woman's love

Speaker 1 you've got to grow into a better man and you've got to give to her to the world to others You can't be so selfish. You've got to be more selfless, and you've also got to keep growing.

Speaker 1 And I think it's only when he's grown to the best fill and he's actually thinking about others and contributing, that's when Rita falls for him. So to me, that's the biggest love lesson.

Speaker 1 Grow and give, and that's how you're going to get a great girlfriend. But what do I know? I only have the greatest girlfriend in the world.
Come on, stop. What?

Speaker 1 Who's that?

Speaker 1 So that's my love lesson. But I do.

Speaker 1 But I want to make sure I honor your point. What were you trying to say? Or what were you saying about the rom aspect of this?

Speaker 4 I feel like I've seen people or heard people say like, oh, this is one of the greatest rom-coms of all time. It's not, it's not a, is it a rom-com? We're talking about rom-coms here.

Speaker 4 I maintain that it's a comedy. I think the kind of like the romantic aspect of it is a mechanism.
This is, again, this is the 90s, the rom-com boom. You need that romantic relationship as a tool.

Speaker 4 I think to demonstrate what you're saying is, you know, a big piece of making your life better for yourself is working on yourself and engaging in that journey.

Speaker 4 Even if you're not stuck in a time loop, you know, you can approach every day with that same

Speaker 4 sort of mentality of like, what am I going to do today that was different than yesterday?

Speaker 4 How am I going to make these changes so I present myself differently to people? I'll have better relationships with women. I'll have better relationships with my coworkers.

Speaker 4 I'll have a better outlook on my job and how it's important. I mean, him being,

Speaker 4 you know, the journalist and him being in the role that he's in as a caster,

Speaker 4 he has this responsibility to share his take and his perspective on events that are happening in the world.

Speaker 4 And his journey helps him approach it differently, like we see in the movie.

Speaker 1 I think what I love about the movie is that it's a lot of different things for different people. I think you're right.
I don't think it's a rom-com in the classic Harry Met Sally sense.

Speaker 1 I think it's, it's, there are definitely, I mean, there's romance in it, and they go from not liking each other to being together. So in that sense, it's a rom-com.
But it's also a movie about

Speaker 1 growing into a better person. It's about maybe accepting where you are

Speaker 1 and letting go of

Speaker 1 things you can't control. Just saying, all right, this is the situation.
I'm going to make the best of it that I can.

Speaker 1 I think that's one of the reasons why so many people love this movie, is it can be a lot of different things to different people. To me, it's a part of it's a rom-com, part of it's a silly 90s comedy.

Speaker 1 Part of it's a bleak,

Speaker 1 a bleak,

Speaker 1 not bleak, but a

Speaker 1 soulful deep look at

Speaker 1 what can cause somebody to lose hope and how they get that hope back. To me, it's all those things.

Speaker 1 And it's Chris Elliott. So, and I'm a Chris Elliott fan, too.

Speaker 1 That's fair. All right.
Well, thank you so much for being with me tonight, Shmoopy, and helping me launch It's ROM Complicated.

Speaker 4 Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 That is the first

Speaker 1 of, I hope, many episodes of It's ROM Complicated.

Speaker 1 The next episode of It's ROM Complicated to be decided.

Speaker 1 But the next episode of the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast, we'll be back to those core nuts and bolts of how to flirt, how to get more dates, how to meet women in real life, which we're going to be talking about in upcoming episodes as we lead up to Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 thank you so much for being here, for listening. I know there's a million podcasts out there.
Thanks for choosing mine. And don't forget, you're a dream girlfriend.

Speaker 1 She's out there, just like mine was.

Speaker 1 And she already likes you, or she will like you. She just has to meet the real authentic you.
So go out there, Carpe Datum, seize the date. Till next time.