IMO Presents: The Look Live with Wesley Morris

She sends a box of

then Ralph Lorenz

first edition clothing line. It was like three suits, seven sweat.
I mean, it was an Oprah-sized gift, and this shows up at my door in this big locker trunk. It's a thank you.

And I'm sitting there, like, with all these clothes, feeling like I've been Oprah.

It's just like, wow, you get a car, you get a car, there's sweaters coming out, and it's all this great stuff, every color. It's like, my God, this woman is rich.

But

because my husband, who is my husband, he's like, we can't keep that. It's like,

it's like, what?

He's like, I'm in office, we don't accept gifts. Imagine that.

This episode is brought to you by Rivian and Kohlagard.

Hi.

Woo!

That is a very religious high.

I mean, you know, it can be church anywhere.

Okay,

so

I'm gonna bring Mrs. Obama out, but I just wanted to say something

before

we started just about this book. It's very short.
I'm gonna look at my phone to do it.

First of all,

I put this, I have a baking scale, a kitchen scale.

Just for kicks last night, I just put it on the scale:

4.12.

That is a heavy book

and I just want to talk about the meaning of a book being this heavy

because

I mean

this book is proof that something happened

something unprecedented and extraordinary for millions of people like we're all here because we know that something extraordinary happened.

And

it expanded people's lives, it changed people's lives, it changed the way people look at the world, what they think is possible. And

this book, this 4.1-pound book,

I mean, it's documentation that all of that actually happened.

And the reason to say that is because

we live in a moment where people are going to try to say that it didn't.

And it did.

And this book is documentation of that.

So, with that,

give it up for Michelle Obama.

Hi, everybody.

Woo!

That was a cat walk.

I was just like, just don't trip. Don't fall.
Have you ever tripped? You know, Wesley, that, people wonder, well, what were you thinking here? What were you thinking there?

I was like, don't trip, don't fall, don't fall down these stairs of Air Force One. No, I never tripped because that was all I was thinking about.

When there were stairs or a long walk or heels, it was just like, just one foot at a time. Don't become a meme.

Now you've got other memes. I do, I do.
But I didn't want falling to the bottom. Those are the good ones.
Those are the ones you want.

Thank you, thank you. You guys, Wesley Morse,

man.

Thanks. I specifically

asked for this brother to do this because you are one of the smartest, most

diverse thinking, broad-minded men that I know.

And I am,

I'm always impressed.

I really appreciate that. Thank you.

Let's see how true that is about this. Okay, all right.
Bar is high. Bar is high now.

All right, so I feel like where I want to start. Okay.
First of all, how are you doing? I'm good. I'm glad.
Let's start there. I'm home.
It's like

everybody's here. It's like half the people in the audience.
I know y'all.

And half the other half I know. Right.
Because my sister drove them up there right there.

There they are. Wesley brought like a busload of people.
Hey, y'all. My sister Robin did it.
Okay. Okay, Robin.
And I'm glad they did.

I'm glad they did. Glad they came.
But I feel good. I'm feeling good.
Glad to be home.

This is the last live event. I'll do a little more press in LA in December.
And then, y'all, that's it.

So,

I think the second sort of like small talky question I have to ask because people want to know.

What are you wearing?

Well, Wesley knows that I forgot to check before I put this dress on. So we're going to go to the back of the dress.
She's exactly. She doesn't even look at the label.
I didn't look.

I knew what I was going to wear, but I don't remember sometimes. And Meredith couldn't be here because she wasn't feeling well.
So this is vintage Zach Posin.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And I was going to wear something else, and then you said you were wearing a suit and a tie. And I was like, oh, okay.
Wait a minute. Hold on.
He said a mint suit. What happened was...

Well, what happened?

I got a text from somebody

asking what are you wearing tonight and it was not from my sister who also wanted to know what I was gonna wear like don't embarrass us and I'm like okay but there was no like there were no caveats no and then Julia wrote back and was like everybody just wants to make sure you guys aren't clashing that's right what would clashing look like under these circumstances because I wore

if you were gonna come out in a tux or if you were coming out in jeans because there was no dress code.

So I try to keep in mind, like, I don't want to come out in a ball gown and you're in jeans, right? She almost wore a tux. Well, then I would have worn something else.

I had a long conversation with Robin about whether I should wear the tux

and I just decided I just wanted to be comfortable. And you are, and you look good.
Also, I don't want to be triggering to you. Like, you look at people in tuxes all the time.
Oh, you like.

Not anymore, though. Bring the pistachio.
It's been eight years. Barack's tux is tucked away

the one tux oh you all by the way he got another tux finally a like he has two or he replaced the old one uh

he probably replaced the old one so the old one's going to i mean

it's going to have a smithsonian going to the real real yeah we have uh we have a whole museum where stuff

and I'm sure that's the only thing that's going to be there the the Obama Presidential Center opens in June you all that's another

and there will be a big celebration, but as part of the exhibit, the archives of many of my dresses will be there. And I keep telling Barack, that's what people are coming for.

They're coming for the dresses, so they're going to be many of them up, and then he'll probably have that tan suit.

And that'll be his contribution. So y'all laugh at that tan suit.

That was meaningful to me. I mean, we can come back to this because I would like to talk about his experience in clothes as far as you're concerned.
There were no experiences. That's a short answer.

He's just now getting his fashion edge together. He's trying to keep up, but

he's the kind of guy that has a pair of khaki pants from the gap, and he just goes and replaces that pair of khaki pants. He's a man.
The girls and I, we are shocked when he has on a color.

And we try to encourage him. It's like, oh, it's purple.
It's lavender. Oh, dad, you look great.
I mean, it's black, blue, tan, gray. That's his story.
He could not write a book. But I guess

I'm not even going to read between the lines of like, he can't write a book. But what I will ask, I mean, we're kind of like...

We're just having a conversation now. So

I'm just wondering, like, what do you think his experience was like?

You know, in terms of his sartorial choices, and did you have a preference? Were you, like, did you ever hope you'd come out of the room? Because one of the most beautiful descriptions in the book is

what was going on on one side of a door and what was anticipating what was going to come out or through those doors on the other side.

So he's waiting for you, event after event, to emerge in the clothes that we all see that this book is full of

did you ever hope you'd open the door and see something different

I knew I wasn't I knew I wasn't going to I mean that's just not you know Barack that's that's not a part of who he is he is not a fashion person he and he looks good and everything I mean he's tall he's handsome

you know so

he's got a blue suit, a gray suit, a white tie,

a white shirt, a blue shirt, maybe a stripe. I mean, it's like a handful of things, and I knew what they were going to be.

So, I mean, I just

truthfully know. I was like, he's like the steady, you know, he's there, and I'm always the flower.

It's like, you know, I'm in a dress, I'm in colors, I'm in, you know, I'm in short sleeves and pants, and, you know, and that's kind of like how the West Wing, East Wing felt.

It felt like the East Wing was where there was color and light and joy. We had apples and children and puppies and there was laughter.

And I don't know if we have any Obama folks here, any West Wingers.

I know we've got some East Wingers over there. And you know when the West Wing would come, the State Department, they would come for briefings if we were doing something.

They always felt a little lighter. They were like, wow.
you know, my office had a pink hue, it had pretty colors in it, we always had flowers. Then you go to the West Wing, and it was war, death,

horrible things, Congress.

Okay, we're done.

And so that was sort of our sartorial.

He was serious, and we were joyful.

I mean, well, we're here now.

So, I mean, you have invoked that part of the White House. Everything you're describing as light and flowers and joy and welcome is rubble.

And I'm wondering how it feels.

I'm wondering a few things about the East Wing aspect of your time in the White House. Because that was where you worked.

You did a lot of your work there.

You welcomed people there.

Music events happened here. The social office was there.
The volunteer office was there. The place that welcomed visitors because we did have a lot of visitors.

I mean, that was one of the things we wanted to do in the White House was open it up. You know, our view was this is not our house.
We are here to do a job. We're here for a term.

We're here for a moment. We are caretakers of this history.

And it's about bringing more people in. I mean, I always, I was always the kid growing up on the south side of Chicago that didn't feel welcome in some of these fancy places.

You go to the big store downtown, and if, you know, all of a sudden somebody's following you, or you go into the museum and people think that you don't belong.

When Barack and I were there, we were thinking about those kids like us who were outside of the gates of the the South Lawn looking in or maybe not even getting down to Pennsylvania Avenue not knowing what it meant to be in the White House not knowing what a state dinner was not knowing what those rooms looked like because a lot of those kids didn't feel invited in

but those were the people who got us there So our goal was to make that house as open as possible.

And the East Wing, that was the place where that work got done, along with all the work that I did on the initiatives. I had five initiatives throughout the eight years, and that work got done in that

in the East Wing. That's where the First Lady staff was located.

So, yeah,

but every president has the right to do what they want in that house.

So, that's why we got to be clear on who we let in.

Okay,

I'm going to change the subject back

to the book

because I really want to talk about the title. Of the book.
Yes.

Because the title to me is deep.

Like, you could have called this

armor.

uniforms

but you called it the look and

I'm the things that come up when I hear this title are, I mean, there are a lot of things. Like,

who's looking? Yeah. Which look? Yeah.

Who were you aware of looking at you?

Which look suited? Which title? I mean, there's a lot of...

Talk to me about the title. Well, that I have to give a lot of credit to.

And I want to take a moment just to shout out Pinggram Random House, my publishers, my longtime publishers, and I know you guys are here.

You know, there's always the point

in these books where it comes time to, what are we going to call this? Yeah. Right.
And like so much of what I do, it's a collaborative effort.

And

I think, you know, the title is so good that when, and I don't know who threw it out, but once it was out there, everybody said, that's it. That's it it says it all

every word and even the the picture on the cover was gonna be a different picture because we wanted to have a cover picture that nobody had seen before

and then I don't know whether it was Chuck or which White House photographer I think it was Chuck that that took this who was it

Chuck it was Chuck

This was the photo shoot from my official White House portrait. So no one had ever seen this, but I forgot about this shot and then he showed it to the team.
And that look,

that sort of like we start the book with this is kind of where it began,

but

this book takes us on a complete arc. So this is like, this is the beginning, and then there's more.

But I think the look, it just, the title itself just speaks for itself. And when you talk to the publishers, they always want one word, one word for a title, right? Yeah, that's where we are.

Coming. Just one.
That's what we want. I see David over there.

So it was a team effort, but

when those words hit the Zoom meeting, we all agreed that was it. And it's about all of it.

Yes, this book is about being looked at,

how you look and what you look. It's how you want to be perceived.
It's all of that.

So while it's a book full of beautiful pictures and it's a wonderful coffee table book, I urge people to read the essays, The Forward by Farah Griffin. All of that.
That is excellent.

It is an excellent forward. That was something that I knew when we started talking about the book.

I knew that I wanted Farah, who is a historian, sociologist, brilliant woman, dear friend, just to set the tone for why even talk about fashion.

Because it's not about fashion, it's about culture, it's about race, it's about a woman's journey, it's about my journey.

Farah helps to provide a wonderful context to the essays that follow.

So

there's a lot in there.

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Let's talk about, let's look at what's in there.

We've got a deck of images in the book.

And I just sort of want to hear you think through

some of the, I mean, you know, you all will leave here with this book. You're going to see them.
But like, I would like to do some close reading on some of these

pictures.

You know, this is little Michelle Robinson at Bryn Mawr High or Elementary School.

That must have been first grade,

maybe third grade. It was probably first grade.

And that was probably gym day because that's a sweatshirt.

And I think my mom was still doing my hair, so that was one of those quick, you do the ponytails and put them up.

But but that was the typical going to public school I didn't have much control over my look because I had no money I had no resources this was a child that you know and and I was a

still a bit of a tomboy then because I had an older brother and I was surrounded by boys I was athletic I loved to keep up I boxed with my male cousins I played catch anything my brother was doing I was doing so I wanted to be if I if I had to describe my fashion desire I wanted to be Jose Cardinal who was the first baseman on the Chicago Cubs and I would pick my braids out into a big fro because he wore his Chicago Cubs cap with his butt and when I wasn't at school that's how I wanted my hair I wanted to be Jose Cardinal

of the Cubs first baseman and you write a lot next can we have the next set of images or this is the next okay and then I grew up

So before we talk about this phase of your life, I want to actually go back and think a little bit about how you as a young person were thinking about what to wear.

There was a lot of dreaming and wishing.

Of who and of what?

It just, you know, when you're young, you just want to do what the cool kids do.

You want to look like the pretty girls on Soul Train, but your parents are broke and your mother sews your clothes and you're mad about it because you don't appreciate the value of a well-made pair of pants because all you want are the Gloria Vanderbilt jeans with the swan on them.

So there's a lot of wanting when you grow up poor, you know?

Because, and maybe that's a good thing because there's a period of you don't get what you want. It wasn't an expectation.

There was no fashion. It was practicality.
I write about the fact that I used to watch Laugh In

young people.

I mean, Laugh-In. Laugh in is a series of

sketch show. It's a comedy thing.
Throw in Martin's.

It was one of the first sketch comedy shows.

Goldie Hawn's name, Goldie Hawn. Remember her? She's like 90 now, but she's.
Remember her, Michelle. I'm talking to the young people.
They don't know what we're talking about.

But she used to dance in short mini dresses and these patent leather go-go boots. And I wanted a pair of white patent leather go-go boots.

I lived in Chicago, it was snow. You know, my mom would look, listen, laugh, and then she'd pick up those rubber boots that you put over your shoe.

You'd need to put a plastic bag over your shoe, galoshes, but they came all the way up.

Yes, I know. It was so sad.

But, you know,

I had no choice. So I think I was probably dreaming of a time when I could ditch my mother's ways and go out on my own.
Oh, she was your first stylist, really. Oh, yeah.

My mother was not a style icon. She was a practical woman.
I love my mother.

And she was very crafty. She sewed everything.
She sewed our drapes. She made cushion covers.
I mean, I don't, you know, my mom didn't work until I went to high school, but she got stuff done.

I mean, you'd come home and the whole house would be remade.

It's like, what are you doing?

You know, my mom didn't shop for herself. She was one of those typical mothers.
She put all of her energy into us.

So she wasn't somebody that I looked to. She rarely dressed up.
She wouldn't go to the hairdresser until we all made her. So, no, my mother was not my...
fashion role model.

So I think as a young person, I did know what nice stuff stuff looked like, you know?

But it was something out there to be had.

There are a few pictures. I've seen a few pictures, and there's definitely at least one in the book, of you at Princeton at some point.
And Farah,

like, almost really beautifully close, reads this

in her foreword.

And it's you with your hair and braids,

and you've got a denim jacket on.

and the the jacket is buttoned or fastened at the bottom it's the only fastening so yeah that is it created a waste that i was gonna say that is style yeah that is style operating um i knew it was out there i i knew what it could be right but you don't you know you don't get to actualize it until you get to graduate get a degree, get a job, pay your loans off, and then maybe you can explore fashion.

So it wasn't until I was,

even when I was practicing law, you know, it was the

80s, 90s business suits, ladies, you know, those horrible suits with the big shoulder pads. It was the uniform, and you'd get a red one or maybe a blue one, and maybe a tweed jacket and a black.

It was very sad, sad lawyer corporate clothes with

nylons, which I hated nylons. It was the, that's a man invented nylons.

I mean, those things, it's just cruel and expensive, and they run all the time.

So

even when I had resources, I lived in a uniform of work.

You know, there weren't casual Fridays. Everybody had to wear a suit all the time.
So it probably wasn't until

I became a public figure that I not only had the resources, but the necessity to really think about how I had had to show up. And I had some flexibility.

But until then,

I was just getting through the day.

You know, I write about what it was like to even think about shopping for a suit for Barack's big convention speech. I mean, I was a typical mother.
We were running around. I had a job.

I had little kids. And it was like, oh my God, he's speaking at this convention thing.

I need us. And I now have a-part of this book.

Because I will just, can I, I'll interrupt to just say one thing that's extraordinary about this book, that we, I, I can't, I've not read every First Lady's memoir, um,

but I did do some digging around before we hooked up. And

just

the

facades of how things were maintained, you know, Barbara Bush is maybe the only person I could find who was really sort of piercing the

sort of glamour bubble a little bit about, like, what it like what well you quote her in the book actually about what she will not be doing yeah yeah um

but I also feel like it's important to think about

the

the honesty of this thing right the things you were letting people see in terms of you know smoke and mirrors

yeah the process of it all in terms of the the stresses and the my whole uncertainty is always like like if I'm gonna connect with people the whole point is like if you're gonna help people, especially young people, they have to see you.

They can't see some facade. They can't think that it's all magic because then they don't think they can do it.

So why I am so brutally honest about all the things, it's like, yeah, you know, this is, it looks good, but it's, you know, swans and paddling under the water.

I just want, I think my honesty is directed at young people who covet and look and want to be. And I want people to know what it all is.
Let's talk about it all.

And so dressing for me was like that. I was a typical working mother with a busy husband who was in politics and traveled a lot.
So

I heard that I had to walk on stage with him after his speech. And it was like, oh my God, I can't just wear one of these.

horrible suits, you know,

I gotta think of something. So it's a mad dash to Bloomingdale's.
Why Bloomingdale's? Because you could park there and get your parking validated.

I mean, that's how you think, you know, it's like, I'm going where they validate. And so, you know, that's how I dressed.

It's like, oh my God, I got to run and do this. And then I've got to dress two little girls.
So there's also a cute little girls. dress place in Bloomingdale.

So I was like, I can hit that, get two little outfits, a suit for mom, and back in the car in time for the next meeting.

That was the light side. So you were doing this on your lunch break.
Yes, in between, you know, soccer and ballet and the eighth birthday party of the weekend.

Well, during this period, though, I kind of want to

talk about what I would describe as like your through-the-looking glass moment with respect to like how you were going to present yourself and like what it would feel like to go through the looking glass.

So you

have this on page 44 of your books. Oh my goodness.
See, this is why I like this guy.

There's a story that you tell about, well, I think it's 43 and 44. Sorry.
40 or 44. Anyway, the point, because there's some pictures in between.

Oprah comes and interviews you.

The both of you. Which sounds crazy, right? Oprah comes to your house and interviews you.
That's what life was like. It's like she's coming to our house.

This is before, I mean, does she know who you are, Barack?

She thinks you're important. Okay, all right, well, get ready.

It's like, wow.

My motto then was, must have been a good speech, right?

It's like he gave that speech, and all of a sudden, everybody knew who he was. And I was like, it's a good speech.
You did a great job. Let's go home.
We got to get back.

We were in Boston. And then all a while it just got more ridiculous.
He was on the cover of Time. And I was like, what?

Oprah's coming?

This actually does sound surreal. Just imagine this person.
How long did you guys been married at this point? Oh, we had been married seven, eight years.

Math. Okay.
It's been a while. Do the math, y'all.

We had kids. The kids were little, so.
Just to like watch this person who is just some regular Schmegger guy who you know has something special. For sure.

But to see everybody else figure out what made you marry him is a different story. Oh, wow.
You guys are paying attention to this. So, yeah, Oprah comes over.
So she comes over,

has the interview. She's so grateful that y'all took the time to do it.

Sends you a gift. Oprah, this is Oprah.
Wasn't a car, but it was close.

Now, I don't want to step on any punchlines here, but I know what would have happened to that car.

She sends you a suit like a camel suit she sends a box of

then ralph lorenz

first edition clothing line it was like three suits seven sweater i mean it was an oprah size gift and this shows up at my door in this big locker trunk as a thank you and i'm sitting there like with all these clothes feeling like I've been Oprah'd.

It's just like, wow, you get a car and you get a car and there's sweaters coming out, and it's all this great stuff, every color. It's like, my God, this woman is rich.

But

because my husband, who is my husband, he's like, we can't keep that. It's like,

it's like, what?

He's like, I'm in office, we don't accept gifts. Imagine that.

It's like they're all lovely, pack them up and send them back. So I called Oprah.
Yep, I called Oprah and I was like, I can't keep all these things. And she was like, what?

She's like, yeah, Barack's in office. You know, there's, I mean, you're really not supposed to accept gifts.
She's like, but it's from me. And it's like, yeah, but, you know.

So we sent that stuff back.

I know.

But there's a happy ending to it because he was a state senator. He stepped down as state senator, was running for U.S.
Senator. In between that time, when he wasn't in office,

Oprah sent the clothes back.

What?

Yes.

She was watching. She was like, take them now, girl.
Take them now.

All right. Miche, Michelle.
We have done so many fun looks together

over the years.

One of my personal favorites is when we started wearing your natural curls. And for me, I love it because I felt like it was the opening of the freedom of post-life, Michelle.
Yeah.

Where you were in control and you got to do whatever you wanted with your hair tell me you know that's the vibe that she felt as well i i agree i mean i i love i i loved my hair all the time because i had wonderful stylists like you helping me so i never had to worry about it but as you know there i i always wanted to have the freedom to live my life without you

i didn't want to

you know i didn't want to feel like i couldn't go out i couldn't do anything unless Yane was there making it happen.

So when we started to go into the natural looks and wearing my natural curls and even working with in Jerry with braids, I mean, the freedom that you're talking about. I know you love your braids.

I love my braids. I do.

I love the braids too. Well, because I'm also very active.
Yes. I'm swimming all the time.
I'm playing tennis.

And I can do it myself, whether you're there or not.

But the natural style that you structured, I loved loved it

because it was fully me. It was free.
It was also a representation to all textured girls out there that our hair comes in all different shapes, sizes, and colors.

And this straight look and bouncy look is wonderful. It's fun.
But the way our hair curls naturally

is also beautiful and full and alive in ways that we got to celebrate. Absolutely.
And the other thing is, is that with braids and natural hair, you are able to be in control, right?

And it, and I think that particularly when you started wearing your hair natural, it was the rite of passage that everyone else was just like, okay, Michelle's doing it. I can do it too, right?

Like everybody loved the flowy, bouncy. And I love that too, but I also love the versatility that our hair has.
We have, our hair can be a chameleon and we, there's so much that we could do with it.

And so you are able to embody that and show that to everyone to kind of give them be like, all right, girl, you could do this too, which is extremely important.

You know that I'm very big on making sure that your hair isn't just looking beautiful, but that it stays healthy. Absolutely.
And that goes back to the products that we use.

So you know that I love your braids and I love that the braids give you the versatility that you want, and which is why we've played with you parts, we've played with wigs, we've done so many different things to master the look that you want for the time and place that you are and whatever you're doing.

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Okay, so I just wanted to hear Oprah's side of the story.

So I reached out to Oprah Winfrey. Of course you did.

She got back to me.

And what she,

her version of the story, you guys, perfect, perfect alignment. Because it happened.

But what she wanted me to know was that there was another story.

Okay, which she's talking about the

Legends Ball. Yeah.

Y'all, she invited me to the Legends Ball.

As what Oprah called a young'un.

Yes. Because you were a youngin'.
I was the a young'in, but I was still like, you know, Coretta Scott King was there. Tina Turner, Coretta Oprah.

I kept walking up to her.

I said, Oprah, are you sure you meant to have me here?

She was like, yeah, go sit down. You're supposed to be here.
When Oprah goes sits down, you like. Yeah, she's just like, stop asking me that.
Go sit down.

Don't cross that way. That's right.
But she said that, you know, every year at her Legends events, she gives a gift to everybody who goes. The Legends get one, the young'uns get one.

And normally at the Legends events, she says

she gives out pajamas.

Every year she was given out pajamas. And this particular, your year.
Well, it was her 50th birthday, so it was a big year for her. It's a big, it was the big one, right? Well, Gail is like, girl,

don't be giving people pajamas. enough with the pajamas we've we've enough don't do it

so Oprah's like hmm what can I give people what would mean a lot that aren't pajamas that would really entertain everybody and not take Gail off

so she's like what about a little

black and black and diamond hoop earrings Well, there were two different types of earrings. And the teardrop.

The legends got these big diamond teardrops, and then the young ones got these big diamond hoops with black and white diamonds on either side.

So we're at this luncheon where everybody gets the gift and they're opening up. Again, you get a car, you get diamonds, you get diamonds.
And I open mine up and I look at Oprah.

And she's like, you can't keep that. I was like, I can't keep these.

So everybody's like, ah, they're putting their diamonds on. Ah!

You know, and all these, these are like great. It's like, you all don't have nice stuff? I would think like all of you all.
Tina Turner is just rolling in the eye.

Like I'm the only one in that group that's broke, right? And they were so happy with these diamonds. And I was like, you know, I can't keep this.
And she's like, really? I was like, I can't.

I can't keep it. Because he was a U.S.
senator then. Well, her version of this story, once again, y'all are on the newlywed game.
Your stories match up.

But what she really wanted to emphasize in telling me this second story was

that

y'all are good people.

Y'all are wanted to stay on the right side of all the laws because, I mean, you know how it is.

I mean, count the people who, every day you hear about people taking gifts and the gifts are like gold bars.

This is a gift from one of the most famous people on planet Earth. Can't keep it.
And I think what she,

she wanted me to run it by you, but she also wanted me and the rest of us to know that from the beginning,

y'all were ethical,

conscientious,

and

she knew she'd chosen the right people to align her values with.

Well, that starts at the top.

And that's, you know, one of the reasons why I love many reasons why I love and respect my husband. That's who he is.

He doesn't, you know, he's not extravagant, but he believes in the importance of symbolism.

And when you are the commander-in-chief, there's a standard at which you know you have to set for the American people.

And some of these things aren't even laws, they're just norms, they're just things that you do because you don't want the people to feel like wealthy people have a different level of access

and you know access to power so that means you got to say no a lot

our motto was like if it looks like fun we can't do it

oh my god put that on every bumper sticker in this town

all right but let's talk about some of the symbolism can we have well let's do the slide that was previously up, and then we'll just sort of go through them. So this is you wearing Jason Wu

to the inaugural, to one of the inaugural balls.

The first one.

Talk to me about this.

The moment. The moment.
The dress.

what the experience was like because this is you going through another portal essentially. Yes, for sure.
I mean, there were so many portals

in this time time in our lives.

And it was all very surreal. The whole day was surreal.
I mean, many of you all were there. It was 800 below.

It was like the coldest weather.

You wore two pairs of pantyhose. Two pairs of pantyhose.
I should have had on boots. I didn't even realize.
See, this is what I learned in the second inauguration. I was like, I'm putting on boots.

And then it was like 70.

But it was a long day that started with a prayer breakfast. So I I'm of course up at 5 a.m.
Right, because that's what women have to do. We have to get up to get hair and makeup done.

And then the girls have to get ready and mom and you've got family and friends. So it's all a little spinny when that's going on.

And so you go to the White House, you make that transition in the morning after the prayer breakfast. And then you get in the cars, you go to the Capitol.
And that's when it gets otherworldly.

When you're in the Beast in that moment and you're driving down and you see the you know the monument

of the beast and you don't really see the breath of that day until we walk out of the capitol in that moment where you see the president the family everybody walk out and that's when we saw what you would say history it was like oh my god look at that

And when you grow up seeing the March on Washington, when you see the symbolism of what it means to be on the monument and you're on the other side of that, I mean, that's when you're like, whoa,

this is something.

This is, and it should feel that way. You should feel the weight and the responsibility.
I mean, the whole process is to ground the administration in the seriousness.

of the task you're about to take on and the responsibility and that it is not about you. It is about all those people standing in the cold, you know, hoping

for some kind of change.

But it is cold. And

then, you know, to do it with little kids. I mean, remember how little the girls were? They were just, so, you know, mothers with little kids, I'm just, don't fall.
Are you paying attention?

Are you warm enough? You know, so I'm looking at the Bible, but I'm looking at Sasha teetering on a stool, trying to look up. Are they paying attention? Is somebody picking their nose?

Because these pictures are going to be historical.

So, you know, I've got that going on in my mind while I'm trying to take this in. And I think being a mother in these moments helped to ground me

because I couldn't get too wrapped up in it because there's the mothering part. Are they okay? What does this feel like for them? Do they feel seen in this moment? I mean, how are they emotionally?

I'm constantly weighing their emotional energy through all of this as well.

That's why clothes have to be secondary. It had to be.

Like, you mean you can't think about it?

That was always my model. I had to set up enough of a process that allowed me to show up well, represented.
But then once the clothes were on, there was just too much going on.

They had to fit, they had to move, they had to be warm. I had to know we did all of that beforehand so that once hair hair makeup, as my team who is here knows, it's like once it's done,

don't touch me, don't look at me, don't come near me. I don't, I barely look at myself when it's over

because then the work happens. And that's the point.
The point isn't the look, it's the look. It's us looking out for the country.
It's us looking out for the nation.

It's us looking out for all those people who are depending on us. So the look goes both ways.
See, this is why you're doing my job now. I don't want to say that.

I mean,

because the title is infinite, right? It means like a thousand different things.

Can we have the next one?

So this night, that gown, was just

the end of it. And I will say that the choice of Jason Wu, I've said this before, was intentional.
The dress was beautiful, but we were beginning to realize that everything we did sent a message.

Sometimes people would read the wrong thing into a fist bump, into,

you know, into everything. Into everything.
Into every single thing. Which is why it's just like, look, folks, when I tell my story, I'm not whining.
I don't feel put upon.

This is just what happened.

And I hope it doesn't offend someone for me to tell you what happened in my life, because it is what happened to me. and it is the truth.

As you said, if we don't tell it, there will be other people who will try to pretend like it didn't happen, but it did.

And so, there were a lot of things that we had to take into account.

I mean, the fact that something, you know, anything was made of me wearing, having my arms out, was just a small indication of the kind of

crazy attention that or standard of beauty or acceptability that was at play.

So we knew that everything was going to send a message. So who I chose to design my gown was intentional.
Jason was an extraordinary designer. This was not a DEI hire.
It was an affirmative action.

It was the prettiest dress. It was the best dress that I put on.
It made me feel ethereal.

He just happened to be an immigrant kid new to the business who happened to be as talented, if not more than some of the greats who always got those opportunities.

Oscar DeLaurenta, he just got the opportunity. It was just a given.
And see, that's how the world shouldn't work.

You know, at some point, we, the greats, should step aside to let some of the young people get a chance.

And so...

That was always my... I was saying that in Washington, D.C.

Well,

but doing that, me wearing Jason Wu, where that could have been Oscar De Laurenta, it would have just been another one of his accomplishments. For Jason Wu, it changed his life.

And so that's what we were trying to do with the choices that we made was to change lives, to say something different about who belonged and who was good enough.

And Jason Wu, that dress was the beginning of like, we're going to do this with everything we do including everything I put on we're gonna rep American designers we're gonna rep everyone but you know I didn't wear Chanel I didn't wear beautiful clothes but let's let's look at some of the beautiful clothes yeah but I I always reped American designers of all races of all all classes and these are well this just this is just shows the breadth of my style evolution.

Can we talk about the Sergio Hudson I mean all of these I believe I believe these appear together I believe in the I'm going to call this the breaking the internet portion of the work.

Do you understand like so I get

sorry

I understand

that one and that one in terms of like kapow kapow kapow like blam. But I want to say

I love this country because that one the Sergio Hudson, the one you wore to Joe Biden's inauguration, that to me

is just one of the most bewitching

pieces of outfits I've ever seen anybody wear.

There is so much happening here that I have never seen on anybody. Really? I mean, well, think about when this was happening.

You're wearing a mask. Well, nobody saw anybody.
That was also it, you know? It was like, they were were probably like they're still alive

that's what i i attribute some of that to it's like oh my god mom and dad are still here

but you would never worn

you would never worn anything like this

i mean at least in terms of how we think about you in public right

and Just talk to me about how it felt to wear that. And did you feel powerful in it? Because this is a power suit.
It's a power suit. These are power clothes.
Yeah.

And so talk to me about what it felt to be in them. Well, you know, a beautiful anything, right, makes you feel everything, right?

For that particular

event, I mean, we all remember what just happened, January 6th happened. So to my mind, I was really in practical mode.

We didn't know what was going to happen at this inauguration because the sitting president was trying to convince us that January 6th was just a peaceful protest.

So it wasn't clear whether anybody was going to be safe. Were you safe at the Capitol where it just happened?

So to my mind, where we usually travel with hair, makeup for touch-ups, staff, assistants, I said, I don't want anybody with me inside this perimeter because if something pops off, I don't want to put my team in jeopardy.

So I was like, we're getting dressed. I knew I wanted to wear pants because I was thinking, if I have to run,

no, I'm going to be able to get it. That's where you went.
I was thinking, I need to be comfortable. I need to,

that's not a heel. The boot that I wore was a lower heel.

I wanted to be able to move. I wanted to be ready.

That's what it it is though, right? Yeah. This is offensive and defensive.
Yes. This is preemptive.
And any power that comes just comes with the,

yeah,

we're here because this is important and it's important for us to show up. I think that's what was going through my mind, this feeling of we're going to be okay.

You know, democracy can withstand a lot and our presence has to represent that. I don't know that it was now the coat is beautiful, the the flow of the pant was was lovely,

yes all of that but by then I was already I wasn't wearing a lot of dresses then I had had my becoming book tour so I was in pants more and more because I was just shifting away from that look into something else.

And I was like, and I'm going to continue that look here. And Sergio Hudson is a fabulous designer and he is he's known for his suits and his coats.

Meredith pulled it out, and once again, I put it on. I felt good in it.
I felt warm.

And we had no idea that it was going to break the internet. I mean, there's some of these moments, the Versace dress.
I put that on. I was like,

Yeah, this one. The gold boots.
It's like, yeah, these are really, really cute. And I can, Barack is at the first test, right? So I walk out and he's like, wow.

And I'm like, hmm, it's a good one, right?

Yeah, yeah.

But that, the inaugural outfit, there was really a lot of practicality for me that went into that dressing because

of the circumstances. Can I read it a little more? Please.

The belt. Oh, the belt.
The belt is superhero, right? You think? I mean, I don't know what this is not about you

if I'm doing my job. Uh-huh.
Yeah. The belt to me says Marvel.

It says

strength.

It also says I don't give a fuck.

Like

I did this. I mean, I don't know who you did it for, but it definitely felt like that was whatever it means to say for you, for you.
Yeah.

I don't know. It's just such a a good thing.

And that absolutely, once I left the White House,

the responsibility of dressing for that job changed because I was not in that job anymore. I know a lot of young people say, did you feel like you have to give up part of yourself to, you know,

look,

when you're a professional, you dress for the job. That's what I tell young people.

It's like until you have control and power and leverage, then you better look at what your boss is wearing and act accordingly because you need a paycheck. So be smart about it.

You dress for the job and the job of first lady was a different kind of job.

When I was done with that, I was doing different, I was my own boss.

I wasn't representing the nation in that way. So yes, those, a lot of the, and the Versace dress was the last state dinner.
So that was a kind of, I don't care dress.

Now I will tell you that one was like, because of the dresses that were available, that rose gold, I put that on. I was like, this is sexy.
It's the last one. This is like, bye.

Bye.

Hi, I'm Carl Ray, and I'm Michelle Obama's longtime makeup artist. I've been on many of these sets, but I'm so excited to be in front of the camera.
My first client was my mom.

I would always watch her apply her makeup. When I was around 14 years old, I asked her if I could do it for her because I thought I could do a better job.

She obliged and soon after she started asking me to do her makeup a lot.

I never knew makeup was a career until I was an adult. Now my work has introduced me to so many interesting experiences.
I've worked in film, TV, print, fashion, and beauty all around the world.

I've also had the pleasure to work with many celebrities and dignitaries along the way. And I'd love to work with you.
So the next time you're booking on Airbnb, click on the services tab.

You'll find professionals like me and my team. We can help make your next special occasion even more memorable.

Weddings, galas, birthdays, headshots, or anytime you just want to feel and look your very best. You can find me at airbnb.com/slash services.

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One photo we don't have with respect to that Versace dress, it is in this book. And look at you you with your tabbed book.

I put a tab on the Versace. I was raised a very thorough young man.

There is a photo

of...

Can we talk about

this one? Oh, the back?

There's no page number. What page?

It's in the section. That's probably my sister.
Robin, is that you?

It's in the section of... There's a whole section on inaugural gowns.

It's just before page 210.

so what is it you're looking at the draping of it no what are you looking at what do you see there's a photo of you i never watched you from behind

i've never done it and it's it's not for the reasons you think

i'm just it it just never it's not that's not what we're doing here it looks good it's it's a well

it looks great but i'm saying What are you saying?

Jeff Koons,

Brancusi.

This to me is like you can see your reflection in this dress. Yes.

And the one place where it's not draping is back there.

And this,

this is, this is you just said. Yes.
This is

I D G

A F.

This is kiss my ass.

Oh.

This is the world is looking and can see themselves in this part of the dress.

You can see the section.

Do it in the front. Right.
In the front, it's. Well, now you're reading a lot

into.

You put the ball on the team, Mrs. Obama.
I'm going to take a swing.

Look.

All of my choices ultimately are what is beautiful and what looks beautiful on. And I think as women, in the end, that's the whole point of it.

One of my philosophies is that if I don't feel good in it, if I don't feel beautiful,

I don't buy it. I don't pick it.
I don't wear things because they're in.

I don't even know whether I'm going to like a dress. I don't pick a dress from the rack because we all know something that looks good on the rack, you put it on and it's like, ooh, not for me.

And that's one of the messages. It's like,

if you feel good with your arms out, wear your arms out. You know, if you feel good in nylons, then put them on.
That was my philosophy. Does anybody feel good in nylon? Some people do.
I don't know.

I did not like them. But you also look happy, like in a lot of those photos.
I'm always happy.

I had a really great job and a great time doing it. And we got a lot done.
I mean, there was so much joy in everything we did. And this is one of the things that I wanted to

show in the book was the life of that White House. Just the vibrancy, the activity.

So, you know, we could have done just a series of photos of standing in pretty dresses, but when you open this book, you see, you see kids, you see puppies, you see all the movement because we were an active White House.

And that, and we were a joyful White House. One of the chapters is called First Lady as a Verb.
Yeah.

I mean, everything

for me was about,

it was about moving the ball. I mean, literally, physically, moving the ball.

An initiative, as my team will know in the East Wing, it was like, what are we going to do? We're not going to announce something. I didn't want to be a

first lady that was a slogan, first lady. It's like, mmm, you know, just say whatever.

I wanted to

have tangible goals and outcomes that I could see because I came from that world of running a non-profit. I ran programs, I started things, I like to build things and see them go.

Those are great verbs.

I mean, for real.

So, yes, I was always a person that was thinking about moving things forward, going ahead, and that helped us get through.

You know, if you're focused on the work, you know, just getting things done every day, then it makes all the hardships, all the thorns and arrows, and all the haters and all the negative things, they just blow right off of you because you have an agenda in front of you.

And if you focus on that agenda, which is what I would tell my team, that's what we're going to focus on. And clothes, we're like that too.

We're going to figure out a process that we make this simple so that we're not, while I have to wear a lot of clothes, I'm not going to spend every day, I cannot spend every day thinking about what I'm going to wear.

I have to have this done quickly. We fit one day a month.
We fit. We had the calendar.
We knew what we were doing. Meredith, my stylist, brought clothes in.
We fit them. We tried them on.
Done.

So that the work could get done. And as I said, I was concerned about: can I hug somebody in it? Will he get dirty?

I mean, I was the kind of first lady that there was no telling what I would do, you know. I mean, I'd walk out the house,

and I'm doing push-ups, you know, and then people start. I mean, in the time that I was, I think I've caught a football pass from an NFL player.
I played soccer with David Beckham.

I did push-ups with Desmond Tutu. I have done broken a Guinness World's record for jumping jacks.
I mean, and this would all happen on a day.

It could. It could be, you know, you're giving a speech on health here.
You're meeting with the First Lady of blah, blah, blah. And now you're digging up dirt in the backyard with kids.

So my clothes had to

be ready for that. Because the thing about clothes that I find is that they can welcome people in or they can keep people away.

And if you're so put together and so precious and things are so crisp and the pin is so big, you know,

it can just tell people, don't touch me. You know, if you're not dressed to bring people in.
Great point about that. You know, your clothes can make people push away.

So I always wanted to be able to, if a rope line was happening, if somebody was going to be be in tears and need a hug, we're not wearing white, we're going to wear print if I have stuff to do because I'm not going to leave some, I'm not going to push somebody away when they need something from me, and I'm not going to let the clothes get in the way of that.

And I had a team of people who understood that.

So,

you know,

there had to be a lot of thought and that stuff had to be done well in advance. Well, I want to talk about the team for a second because

these people seem seem fantastic. They are.
They've been around the entire time.

And I don't know, I mean,

Yenae

and Jerry

and Meredith, of course, Carl. Yeah.

I want to take a second to talk about Carl. Yeah.

Because there's a part, I mean, you know, everybody, one of the beautiful things about this book is that everybody who is on the team has a little section of the book where they talk about how they got started, what it's been like to work with you, what the artistry that they practice.

Because, I mean, it's work, but it also is, and it's a talent, but it also is art.

And for like Carl's entry in this book, like, I might start, I'm gonna read it. I'm gonna read part of it because I think it's beautiful.

And I think that, like, it is such a,

it stands in for the whole of how

many, many people think about you in a way that feels different from the way we've thought about people who've had this job before.

And I also think that it is a testament to,

I just can't imagine many other women allowing

what Carl wrote to appear in print at all. Because it's just, well, it's intimate.
Yeah.

And it's about you. So hold on, let me just read a little poem.

This is. I love your teacher.
This is Carl Ray

writing about what it is like to do Michelle Obama's makeup.

Carl, are you listening?

Carl's here? Carl is here. Carl's always here.
Look at me. Don't I look like Carl's here?

All right, so I'm going to start.

Oh, fuck. Can you read it? You can't read.
You can't see, can you?

I'm sitting here going, wow, he's got great eyesight. That's good enough to get me through this.
I think I can do it. You can hold it up real close.

Or far away.

I think I can do it.

Depending on whatever she's doing later that day, I might add to that and then use some concealer. This is about the foundation.

This is a parenthetical. She inherited amazing skin from her mother and has passed it on to her girls.
I set her face with powder, which allows everything else to apply smoothly.

And often I do a little, quote, baking, unquote, by applying extra powder

beneath her eyes, down her nose, and on her chin and forehead. We then finish with a setting spray.

Her skin has red undertones, so I use warm bronze and gold tones to highlight and brighten her cheekbones and other high points of her face, and cooler brown tones for contouring and sculpting her jaw, nose, cheeks, and forehead.

Blending along the way to enhance the structure of her face. If she's wearing an off-the-shoulder look, I apply shimmer or glow to her shoulders and décollettage.
That's a.

Depending on what she's wearing, I sometimes even apply it down her arms and legs. Then I work on her eyes, my favorite part.

I fill in the lids, often with gold, bronze, or soft peach, and then do a brown contour on each eye crease.

I generally use a black pencil on her top lash line, sometimes followed with a liquid eyeliner for a quote, kitten eye. We've gone full-blown cat on special occasions.

I then use a black or brown brown coal eyeliner on her waterline. Now I don't know what a waterline is.
Is it just a thing? Okay.

Thank you Carl. I learned something new.

I then use a black or brown coal eyeliner on her waterline and fill in her eyebrows with a brow pencil and powder. Lips and lashes are generally last.

For her mouth, I use a lip pencil, lipstick, and finish with a gloss. 75% of the time, I opt for a nude lip, which I do in a variety of tones, including peach, brown, caramel, and pink.

Nothing too distracting, always enhancing. I always want the focus to be on her message.
I'm going to skip way ahead. Michelle remains my primary client.

I've worked with her for 16 years, and I believe she's more beautiful now than ever before.

I'm not done.

She loves the fact that I'm fast.

This is fast. How long does this take? He can do that in 15 minutes.
Damn.

I mean, how long did it take the Chistine Chapel to happen?

I mean,

Michelle remains my primary client. I've worked with her for 16 years, and I believe she's more beautiful now than she ever was before.
She loves the fact that I'm fast.

Sometimes she doesn't even look in the mirror when I'm done.

That's his exclamation point. Look at yourself, I'll say.
You're beautiful. President Obama on multiple occasions has said, Carl, I want to thank you for making Michelle look and feel beautiful.

And he always responds, my pleasure.

He does. That's beautiful.
I'm so glad you read that.

I find that

so moving

because it is

Like the care.

I didn't want to go into this really, because it kind of doesn't need, it's so obvious, it doesn't need to be said.

But this is a black woman.

This is a black woman who was in the White House. A place,

I mean, I don't care what they say, she was never supposed to be.

The idea that you were being beautified in a place that, you know, at many points in history, were responsible for making sure

you couldn't even write the words White House

by a white man who loved you

is just,

that is America to me.

That is, yes it is. Yes it is.

And

I don't know. This book is deep because nobody talks about this stuff, right? I mean you can get, you can go to YouTube and see all kinds of beauty tutorials and all that stuff, but

this isn't a tutorial. This is

it's kind of like

fashion criticism. It is an artist talking about his craft.
Yeah, it is hearing about what it is like to practice that craft on an on an excellent person.

I'm gonna say according to him, but I know, you know.

What is what is it,

how does it feel to

have gone through that experience

where what is happening is on the one hand how you're supposed to look,

but beneath that really is about how you're feeling?

Whew.

Do you have a question?

I mean, you know, it's complicated

because I

you know, as I said before I think that

you know life is such in during those times even now can be such a whirlwind

that there

I think this is the moment where I took the time to actually reflect on it

so what came up for you while you were reflecting on it I mean we have the book but what was it like to write it Well, it was beautiful. It was a book that I always knew I wanted to write.

The question was always the timing of it.

Because I think, quite frankly, I probably had a little PTSD, I probably still do,

about how I, what I put out into the world. Because I know that there will always be some kind of commentary, some reaction.
You do it, you also want a reaction.

I mean, I wrote this book to create a conversation among us as people, as women, as women of color.

You know, so I knew I wanted to do this. It was just now felt like the time.

I also knew that I wanted to

use this as kind of a love letter to the team of people that you just wrote about, Meredith and Carl and Yannae and Jerry.

And let me just say, that team is the team that's been with me the longest, but there are so many others.

All the seamstress, all the designers, Johnny Wright, who was my hairdresser during the eight years in the White House. I think Dawn is here, who has done my nails all this time.

I mean, my trainers and, you know, it's just, you know, this whole process of showing up for the world,

there's no way I could do it without this team. And I think about how much they

sacrifice because we live in an age where it's like the odd part of the First Lady position is that I guess I'm famous, but I'm not a celebrity.

What's the difference to you? Well, celebrity is a celebrity stylist. You're styling for beauty.
You're styling to be seen.

I'm styling to work.

And I'm not saying that, you know,

I never walked on a red carpet other than a state dinner red carpet.

I am the first, I have a job to do. And so my team has to understand that mission.

And when you've worked in the beauty industry and you're used to a stylist who wants credit or wants to be seen, it's like we're not even talking about this.

We did all of this and we're not talking about it because we're also thinking about the times that we're in. How are we going to talk about fashion when there's a recession?

How are we going to talk about, you know, a pair of shoes when, you know, we need immigration reform I mean there is also thinking about what is appropriate to say at what time and I always felt like fashion was the underlying story so that meant that they had to kind of cut their shine you know there was no posting there was no behind-the-scenes gossip or talk and to have people who were so young let me just remind you Yane was 18, 19 years old when she started.

You'll hear her story

and Jerry the same way. These were kids.
Meredith was 28 years old.

We had a very young White House, a lot of really smart young kids who came in understanding the assignment, that none of this was about them, me. We were there to support the commander-in-chief.

We were there to represent the country. Everybody took their job seriously.
They didn't make money. There was no glamour to it, you know, industry of glamour.

You know, this was about message and service and the fact that they were willing to make that sacrifice right alongside of us, riding in, you know,

bad, sweaty vans, taking helicopter rides that were precarious,

you know, being on boats, being in holds in Africa with no air conditioning and no lights and through thunderstorms. I mean, this was not a glamorous job, but they did it and did it well.

So I want their stories to be told because this is what this work is. You know, we as women, we don't get to just show up any kind of way.

We don't have the luxury yet to just

wake up and throw on a tie and call it a day.

There's a lot of...

And I think this book is,

you know, this book is kind of speaking for all of us, for all that work that we do that sometimes goes unacknowledged. I mean, I even saw it when we did foreign trips.

You know, the West Wing didn't necessarily plan a trip for a woman.

You know, they wouldn't think about the cobblestones or the rain or the grass or the terrain, but yet here I am following my husband around in a pair of heels or, you know, because what a man has to do is if it's casual, you take the jacket off.

If it's formal, you put the jacket on. You take the tie off, you put the tie on.
It's like we don't get to do that.

But I'm with him every step of the way. I'm doing like the Ginger Rogers thing.
I'm doing the same thing, giving speeches, but I'm doing it with heels and walking backwards. And it's not just me.

You know, it was our Secretary of State. It was all of our senior advisors.
It was Nancy Pelosi.

When I would think about these women who are along on these code els, and they're trying to keep it together and keep their hair in place.

And the men are just in their stupid suits, just not thinking,

not asking a question, not realizing all the machinations that have to go on for us to stand up and show up.

And we feel like we have to do this stuff quietly, like it just happens. It isn't magic, it's a lot of freaking work.

And it takes care.

I think that's also the four pounds, right?

Like, the work, I mean,

they worked, y'all worked, so we work, right? Like, to lift this,

to carry it. I got to take two of these back.
Okay. I put them tellingly in my garment bag.
Yeah.

Did anybody, you're talking about these, you know, the difference for women in this experience in terms of like what you all had to, just what it's like to put on clothes, period.

Did anybody talk to you just about how to not look or how to look during those years? Did you get advice from anybody? No. Okay.

No, there isn't, you know, there isn't a handbook for it.

You know, that was one of the excellent things that Meredith was able to do. And most of this

was very important on foreign travel

because you know even

the the state dinner at Buckingham Palace to wear gloves to not wear gloves that is the question you wore the gloves I wore the gloves but there were so many meetings about those gloves and were they appropriate and who wore them did the queen wear them and then what did other first ladies do and the state department they weren't that helpful

they they didn't they didn't have the strong opinion about it

and let me tell you if I showed up as the first black first lady and didn't have something appropriate, you remember when I touched the queen after she touched me? It's like,

she touched me first, y'all. She did.

She did.

And I felt like it was rude not to touch her back.

Or you wear a cardigan. I mean, you know, we're out in the country

in the world representing the country. That takes work.
a visit with the Pope, the amount of

requirements to visit the Pope,

a mantilla, you've got to have your arms covered, you've got to cover your knees.

That's if you're, you know, you can be in the Sistine Chapel in shorts and a t-shirt, but if you're going upstairs to see

the Pope,

there is a way to dress.

And some of that comes from the State Department, but some of that work was Meredith, researching what other First Ladies wore and calling designers people on the ground who knew.

And because she did that work, I didn't have to.

I could be there and do the work and know that what I had on was appropriate. Those are things that male leaders do not have to think about.

If you were visiting an Arab country, the amount of rules and who you can touch and who you can't and what you can't do as a woman, all of that is very it matters very much

so that becomes a real

that's a that's a real diplomacy issue that if you get it wrong maybe you wear the wrong color or you've you know

a color in a certain country could mean something So you're constantly sending messages with everything you do.

And for me, there's absolutely no way that I could get to a foreign country because I was also working there, giving speeches, meeting with young girls, doing work there.

And then I had my kids as well. And they had to be dressed appropriately.
You had to wear something to get off the plane. Then you had to get in the car.

And then you had to wear something to the, just the amount of packing that it would take for a foreign trip. That was all Meredith.
There was one person.

doing that for me, my girls, my mom if she traveled, managing outfits, steaming, getting things ready for event after event after event. That's a lot of work, y'all.
Yeah. Yeah.

I, um, we've got to go.

But I've just got to, my sister asked,

my sister and her friends had some questions.

Okay. We have time for one.

It's a question I share, which is basically,

do you get advice from your daughters about what to wear and what not to wear? No, let me not laugh at that.

No, no, no. The girls, they,

yes, I get the, mmm, you look good, mom, or that works. I know if they, look, they go in my closet a lot.

That's a sign of approval. Oh, for sure.
But they, you know, as they get older, they're starting to respect

what I have. I mean, I remember I was going to give Sasha an Alaya dress that I had.
And for those of you, Aalaya is a really, she's like, well, why would I want that?

I was like, ooh, you just don't know.

You just don't know. But now they're starting to know.
It's just been fun watching them come into their own style. They're very different girls.
They have their unique style.

I find that I'm now at a point where I'll see something.

cool that they have, a jacket or a shoe, and I'm like, where'd you get that? We're doing more of that. They're like, where'd you get that?

But

that's very different. You know, teenage children, that Brandy Melville period,

I'm sorry. But that's that short, those short dresses and the, they went through, they were just like every young teenager.
They wanted the stuff off of the web. They wanted to go to the mall.

They wanted, you know,

they thought designer clothes were for old people.

And so they're just now, as they're coming into their own professions, they're just now starting to appreciate the quality of clothes and to understand dressing for, you know, being out in the world.

So

we're starting to develop a more shared fashion story together. And it's like a new thing for you to talk about?

No, no, with girls, you're always. Look, Sasha was beating her face from the time she was 11 years old because this is the thing about this new generation.

social media introduces them to a lot of stuff early on I didn't wear makeup until Oprah came over I mean literally you know you take one picture that appears in the press with no makeup on and you're like I need a makeup artist because I don't wear makeup all the time, but when you are filmed and seen, it does make a difference.

You do not show up on TV without makeup. You just, Brock will get touched up.
He's learning that too.

So I didn't grow up wearing makeup, but the girls, you guys who have young girls, they all know how to do their makeup because of social media.

They all go on these websites and they know how to powder and contour in ways that are amazing to me. So Sasha was doing that for the longest, and Barack was like, she's just wearing too much makeup.

And I was like, It's a phase, you know, this is what he had to understand. Girls, we play.
We play in these spaces. And I was like, let them play.

You know, they will get to the point where they will decide as women on their own what they can afford to do, what they have time to do.

I was like, they get to the point, it's like Sasha, the minute she gets in college, when she doesn't have any time, no makeup, and lo and behold, she chose sleep. over the extra time to put that.

So it's just slowly, it's like, wooh yeah, that hour routine, you know, you can do that when you finish your homework and you're just at home.

Or you could learn from Carl how to to do it in 15 minutes that's true she's gotten faster

but that's the the beauty of having young young young girls around just watching them and I give credit to that this new generation the younger generation a lot of this openness the sharing comes from that they want authenticity They want to hear your truth.

They don't want things to be powdered over or smoothed over.

And they're honest.

I think my decision to wear braids more and more comes from a whole generation of young black girls who are embracing their natural hair, who are no longer using relaxers, who are saying, take me as I am, who are embracing their beauty.

And as I said, I wanted to be a part of supporting them in that journey. And I know that me being Michelle Obama, the first

former first lady, wearing braids in the White House mattered.

And that was a deliberate decision that I made to support young girls that are trying to break old patterns and norms that don't serve them as young girls.

And I credit that generation, and I want them to continue to be themselves and show up in ways that make sense for them, not following some limited stereotype of what beauty is.

And I say that not just to girls of color, but to all women. You know, that's what we need to break out of: is this one narrow standard of what is acceptable and beautiful?

I hope that what I've shown is that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

There isn't one way to wear your hair, there isn't one way to look professional, there isn't one way of showing up as an American.

And I think it's incumbent upon all of us as women not to make, not to look for us to look like each other.

you know we should embrace the power of how different we are our hair texture our sizes and shapes it's all beautiful and it's all important

and it all matters but we have to fight for it Because if we let somebody else set those standards for us, we will be trapped in this narrow

place. So yes.
So I hope that this empowers us as women as people to embrace all of who we are

whatever that looks like michelle obama everybody

thank you wesley

you all thank you dc thank you for writing the book

wonderful crowd you all take care good night

Hope you're ready because it's officially November. We are in holiday hustle mode and it's game time.
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