Episode 511: Residual Cake

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Hello again, everybody, and welcome to another exciting episode of the Jim Cornette Experience.

The holiday season is approaching, and all Tony Khan wants for Christmas is his two top stars back.

Plus, we're going to have viewer mail the return of Reggie's Corner and all types of hilarious hijinks and joining me.

Hawaiian Brian, the podcasting lion, the king of the Arcadian Vanguard Podcast Network, Mr.

Co-host to you, the man born on December 6th, but he wears his birthday suit suit every day of the year, the great Brian Last, everybody.

Hello, Ha, Jim.

A pleasure to be here once again.

It's your show, and we just had a fun drive-through.

Let's see how bad this could be.

Oh, come on now.

And once, by the way, happy birthday.

It's your birthday week.

I don't know if you've solicited for cake like I do at a time like this, but I wanted it to be known that if anybody has any gifts or cash or gift cards or anything for Brian Last, they can be sent to

me at Cornettes Collectibles, post office box 436-963, Louisville, Kentucky, 40253.

And I'll be glad to pass them on to a proper charity because you don't deserve them.

Well, for real, for my birthday this year, we are doing something where we're raising money for charities.

So if I could ask anyone out there who has 15 bucks to spare, go buy a copy of Fight Forever.

We're trying to help the needy.

And

they need someone to buy that game.

Noah, thank you very much.

I appreciate that.

That's very nice of you.

And I will be ducking everyone's phone calls and everything on my actual birthday.

So thank you.

Well, you're more than welcome.

I'm just trying to get some kind of residual cake out of this.

But

they named it Fight Forever.

Should they have not been so overly enthusiastic and smoking a hopium and just named it Fight for a While?

You know, we'll probably talk about it soon because there's been a lot of chatter about the AEW financials.

And the thing with the AEW financials is that there's what you can determine.

Nobody knows what they are.

That's right.

There's what you could determine based on what you can put together, like WrestleNomics or WrestleTix, these people that actually chart and follow things.

They can put together some of the story.

But even that's incomplete.

It's a private company owned by Tony and Chad Khan

with...

As rumor has it, a non-voting interest for Warner Discovery as a minority shareholder, I guess, in AEW.

We don't know any of their financials.

So sometimes when you see things out there, they're actually coming from AEW.

So you don't know if you could trust them or not because they're not going to say, yeah, we're losing our ass.

Boy, we fucked up on that video game big time.

Boy, howdy.

That was a routine on a comedy show one time where the guy came in and said, oh, Jesus.

And I was just, oh my God.

But I saw on, and I didn't even mean to branch off into video game, and don't worry, we'll come back to reality in a second.

But I saw somebody on

Twitter saying that there was a screenshot where 37 people were playing the game worldwide on

whatever they play video games on on the internet.

You know, I can't converse in this language, but it was not a...

It's not a fucking land office business, as they used to say back in the days of a land office.

There's two ways to look at it.

They either made a bad game or after three or four years of development, they released early a game that was incomplete and that no one's willing to wait around for them to figure out whatever the bugs are.

Well, did you see the thing that they sent out?

Again, it was on a

random news site, and I didn't know how to copy this down, and I don't know how to speak the video game language, but I guess they sent out a patch.

It's what they do when something doesn't work.

Right.

It's a repair of an issue.

Okay, well, well they sent out a patch for repair but the the the patch or patches

patches i know you've been in

um

it was a list

that was a wrestler for jim kettner patches remember oh yes a patch patches patch well and patches was

he's actually he's gonna come in as pockets his cousin oh my gosh little cousin patches who is that that's patches it's patches listen to me what i'm trying to tell you before before you make me sub-reference again.

So the patches or whatever were for like a goddamn list of shit as long as a fucking Brooklyn phone book.

Apparently, there was a number of things that needed patched.

I'm glad they weren't in a sailing vessel or they'd all drown.

Anyway.

All right.

Well, that was the patches segment here.

Speaking of drowning,

and I'm not talking about our banter thus far.

We finally got some rain, not very much, but it was colder than a witch's tit

here the other day and the cold rain and everything, and then it warmed up somewhat, and now it was not only cold this morning, but brisk as the wind goes.

And I've got

sole custody of little Harley Quinn for four or five days.

And I took her out, and holy shit, my nose was dripping and froze an icicle.

I can't can't take this.

I was telling you before we went on how cold I was because I ain't got no fat on me anymore to pad me up against this type of thing.

And meanwhile, Stacey's out in California, took a trip to sunny San Francisco, not only to see her mother

before Christmas for a few days, before the holidays, but also she's scratching off a bucket list

listing.

I get what is a thing on your bucket list, A listing.

She's going to see Depeche Mode live in concert.

You as a music industry insider

may think that's just a frivolous thing, but as I call them, depressed mode, she loves them.

She loves the 80s music.

Or is that the 90s?

80s into the 90s.

They started.

80s into the 90s.

They started in the early 80s.

They got real big.

They got, and then did they, did they get real big and then they shrunk?

Or they got real big and then they popped.

What was the usual usual thing?

How did it happen?

It became like mildly popular.

Then they started getting some hits.

Just Can't Get Enough was the first one that really hit big.

And then they started, they switched a member or two.

That guy went and started a bunch of other synth bands.

And

then once things got really good, you know, the heroin came in.

And then everyone got sad and depressed and dark and everything is just dark and just

dark.

That wasn't dark at all.

I thought the heroin was supposed to make you happy.

No, who told you heroin makes you happy?

Well,

that's why I figured everybody was doing it.

They're sad, so they do some heroin and makes them happy.

Well, they say you try it the first time.

Not that I'm advocating.

I'm not going to sit here and advocate.

I'm going to do heroin.

But apparently.

You've heard.

You have heard secondhand.

That's right.

Mere hearsay.

I would never fuck with that shit.

But apparently, like one time it's good, and then you're chasing that forever while you're turning into Sid Vicious, not the wrestler, the junkie bass player from the Sex Pistols, who couldn't play bass.

So why are we even calling him a bass player?

I didn't.

You did.

I didn't call him at all.

It wasn't my reason to watch.

I'm just asking.

I asked you about the people in depressed mode.

And

that's where Stace is for a few days.

Family and Depeche out there in sunny San Fran while me and Harley are here freezing our little tucases off.

For heaven's sake.

And speaking of Christmas coming and the holidays and things like that,

I will make one last plea that if you have not ordered your merchandise from Cornett's Collectibles at jimcornet.com at this point through December 3rd, if you got in by then,

you're going to be good domestically for Christmas.

But if you're ordering afterwards,

Even domestically, you're now at your own risk and the time it takes us to snatch these things down and process them and get them to the feather bottoms and get them mailed out and the ineptitude of the postal service system and the fact that

Christmas this year basically will be coming right after a weekend, right?

It's going to fall on a Monday, so you're pretty much fucked up the day before or two.

And all the other

all-night gas station opened down the street, folks.

That's going to happen also.

So

order now if you would like it by New Year's, but thank you for the folks who have participated so far.

JimCornet.com.

I'll get that one in real quick and we will move on because Brian,

we got a lot of wrestling to talk about here on a program today and a lot of tomfoolery and shenanigans, the backstage stuff,

the stuff that is really interesting in wrestling these days, since that's what everybody wants to know about.

That's where all the drama is, where all the realism is.

But we've got to recognize not only some of the listeners out there, we've got some viewer mail.

We want to share some of the cult of Cornet members' opinions today, but also we have to go ahead and, because it's been a few weeks.

I mean, it's been a big few weeks.

The pay-per-views and the, you know,

declining ratings for AEW and the debuts of megastars for the WWE.

We haven't had time to honor our fallen furry friends and feathered friends.

Some may even, we don't do ones with scales,

but we haven't had time for Reggie's corner.

So

I thought this is that we don't want to get too far behind with recognizing some of our

departed members of the cult out there with four legs or two wings or,

well, some of them had three legs, even the dogs.

No, we don't do scales.

No scales?

I mean, we're not going to do, well, we might do a fish, but we're not going to do any snakes.

We'll do fish, really?

But now I was enumerating the appendages, and I realized that we have had a three-legged dog, I believe, in the past.

So, regardless of how many appendages, the fur, the feathers,

our little animal friends, bestiality is what I'm talking about.

No, that's not what we're talking about, and that's not what this is about.

No, I'm talking about

the animal kingdom, the world of the beasts.

That's what we're talking about now.

That is certainly not the definition of bestiality.

You'll get your Merriam-Webster collection over there, but I'll play the jingle now to prevent you from saying anything else.

This is Reggie's Corner.

Reggie's Corner.

We're here to talk about your good boys and girls.

Reggie's Corner.

We're so sorry they're dead now.

I'll have you know I don't use the Merriam-Webster.

I use the American Heritage Dictionary, and I can just look it up right here.

If you give me just one more second here, so I can get to the BEs, and I'll explain to you that I used that incompletely, properly, of

oh, maybe

no, this will be a great YouTube club.

Jim Cornette defends his use of bestiality.

Maybe I misspoke.

I was thinking of the

animal kingdom, and it came out the other.

Yeah.

Nevertheless,

we got in.

Some of these might be a few weeks old.

As I said, we've had other things going on.

But again, and we can't by any means be complete here with all the emails we get because I don't see them all.

To be quite honest with you, because sometimes it's a deluge, busy times, blah, blah, blah.

The all-night gas station, refer back to that.

So Austin

from an undisclosed no central pennsylvania i thought he was in an undisclosed location

and this was so sad because austin lost his two-year-old puppy toby to a tick related illness he was less than a foot tall toby toby a test drive for toby no come on now you can't you can't joke about the puppies do you ever see that movie you ever see used cars it's one of my favorite comedies i don't know what you're talking about you never saw used cars?

That's right in the prime of like Jim Cornette out of high school, but not yet in the wrestling business, causing trouble, but not too much trouble, but he'll go see an R-rated movie.

You didn't see it?

What the?

It's used car with who?

Kurt Russell?

Was Goldie Hahn in it?

No, it was before they started.

Well, see, I'd have a better chance to remember it if.

No, they have a dog.

They're at a used car dealership, and they have a dog, a very tiny dog, that on command will pretend it's dead and lay behind a tire so they could guilt a family into buying one of their crappy used cars because they killed Toby while going for a test drive for Toby.

So you're going, you're going to equate Toby the small dog with Toby.

A malicious illegal insurance scam with the loss of a two-year-old puppy named Toby to a tick-related illness.

I don't see how insurance got involved in this in any way.

And for the record, years ago, Dennis Carluszo said it it was all A-O-K.

All right.

In that case, if it passed the Coraluzo

insurance

test, then all right, moving on.

And we're sorry, Austin, for all of that.

Also, Kevin and Tiffany wrote in,

and unfortunately, they need to induct Groot, the floppy-eared bunny, to Reggie's corner.

Oh, come on.

Why are bunnies allowed in?

Oh, now you don't like...

Scales aren't.

You don't like bunnies.

You'd rather have a snake or a lizard than a bunny

yeah i mean we may have even discussed this before bunnies shit everywhere they get covered in shit they bite well i've never had a bad experience with it we've had bunnies here at the castle and they they live out there under the bushes and and they you don't capture them and bring them in the house they eat carrots well no they got plenty of room out there no need for me to uproot them from their home But that's different.

Having them just bounce around in the corners of your property is different than having them in your house.

But they're cute and adorable.

Nah.

And furry and fuzzy.

And anyway, as a matter of fact, Kevin, his wife Tiffany had had Groot longer than she'd had him.

And he used to hop around the house and hump one of the cats.

And it was a fun game because their young son had no idea what was going on.

at the point at that point.

But unfortunately, Groot is gone.

But he was a great bunny and wanted to be immortalized in Reggie's corner.

What the hell's going on in that house?

To Kevin and Tiffany Groot, we send our sympathy.

Groot was their last name?

Well,

it is now, I guess.

No, the Groot was the name of their bunny.

The Groot was the name of the bunny.

Well, the bunny had the run of the place around there.

The bunny was the most important person.

So from now on, they're Kevin and Tiffany Groot.

And Tiffany thought it was okay for the kid to watch the bunny fuck the cat.

They all thought

only when he was so young that they didn't know what was going on.

The fuck was the cat thinking?

Well, the cat was probably thinking, How the fuck did I get so lucky to be in the middle of this fucking family of freaks?

Holy shit.

Why'd they bring this fucking?

Why did they bring this bunny into our house?

I was having a nice, peaceful time here, looking at everyone condescendingly, and this bunny came and started fucking me.

The cat was getting all kinds of pussy,

or the bunny was getting all kinds of pussy.

The child was the pussy.

Well, then

I assume.

well then if the cat was the pussy then the then groot was the groot's your daddy well tiffany and uh wesley groot we're sorry for your what was his name

groot no his name

not groot from uh guardians of the galaxy and the bunny but the man tiffany's man

kevin kevin was his name we're very sorry for your loss

Do you think I got that whole thing mixed up and Kevin was the buddy?

No, it can't be.

It can't be.

I apologize for that.

Yes, let's go.

Daniel in Connecticut.

Moving on to another pussy.

I'm so sorry, Daniel, already.

Connecticut.

No.

Hello, Jim and Brian.

I wanted to submit my mother's cat to Reggie's corner.

His name was Mittens.

And he was the friendliest cat of all time.

He would run up to anybody in the house and meow at them, basically saying, pet me, motherfucker.

I love you.

Unfortunately, he died from lead poisoning due to drinking contaminated water.

Which he did after we let a bunny in the house.

He said, I can't take this anymore.

Give me the lead.

The bunny had nothing to do with

mittens.

Mittens and the bunny weren't even in the same state.

But Daniel, we're not only our sympathies to you, but your mother for mittens.

But how do you

will a cat just walk up to like an open

sludge pool of liquid and drink contaminated water?

Do they not have the dogs don't do that, do they?

Well, you know, there are

stupid animals, too.

Not every animal has the same level of intellect.

Well, are you trying to...

I'm not saying this animal, this dead animal, whatever his name was or whatever it may be.

I don't even remember.

Mittens, the cat.

That's right.

You're not getting in the fucking loving

flavor of the segment here today, Brian.

The loving flavor?

The loving flavor.

Have a little sympathy for these people are loved ones or these people's loved ones are animals of various descriptions.

I'd like to go to another cat.

I'm sorry about mittens.

I've heard from Matt from Bergen County, New Jersey.

Now, don't fuck with him.

He's from Bergen County.

I got no problem with Matt.

It saddens me to submit my recently departed cat, Phoebe, into the hallowed halls of Reggie's Corner.

But I am at peace knowing she'll be among other animal greats as she crosses the Rainbow Bridge.

Animal Greats?

Well, that's where there's a lot of memorable furry friends in this hallowed hall here.

Do you think there are retroactive members of Reggie's Corner and also famous members?

Like, for instance, would Lassie be a a retroactive member?

No, remember, I said,

no,

remember, I said when the guy wrote in and said, well, he's been dead 10 years, but I'd like to induct little bupkiss.

I said, we got to set

some kind of modern time limit on this of recent, current, contemporaneous, whatever, because then everybody that's ever had a beloved pet, which would be everybody,

would be deluging us, and this would have to be its entire own separate five-hour program.

But Phoebe,

whenever you would pet her, she'd flop over on her side and let you rub her belly.

And she was a sweet cat, so we're going to all miss her.

Phoebe.

See, you know, it's a monster squad.

You don't even get the reference.

Do you have to equate every animal passing to a vintage movie?

I got more.

Michael and his wife

from Where I Do Not Know

lost their Shih Tzu puppy Genesis, just shy of 15 years old on November the 1st.

Oh, I'm very sorry.

That's very sad.

Good lord, you sound like a fucking grieving widow of a business tycoon who was heavily insured on the fucking witness stand.

I don't know about that, sir, but no, Swan is a Shih Tzu poodle.

So I

oh, okay.

Aubrey, I thought you were just going quickly to the fake sympathy.

So now when it hits close to home, it's a different matter.

I never fake it with you.

Well, that's good to know, big boy.

But

during Genesis's illness, they stayed up to listen to the podcast.

And his wife and he took turns sleeping downstairs next to her every night to make sure she was okay.

But it was mostly old age and et cetera.

But we're sorry to hear about Genesis.

And also,

Daniel from Selmer, Tennessee, and I've been there.

Where is it?

I got eliminated in the Battle Royal.

Sent a picture of Lexi,

who passed away the day before Halloween.

She was an 11-year-old mini Yorkie, and she would listen to our podcast, Brian, while she was in Daniel's lap.

And so we've lost another listener.

Probably due to you in some fashion.

Or whatever's going on in Daniel's lap.

lap and what now don't blame me what are you taking shots at me are you now who's talking about bestiality now you and daniel clearly

daniel is traveling tonight on a plane and i can see his red tail lights as they're heading for spain

he's leaving the country to beat that charge all right

and again from uh

from jason any dogs this week any dogs hold on i'm about we have the shitsu.

We are the shitsu.

We've had the shits, all right.

And also, I was in the middle of it.

Jason from Spartanburg, South Carolina,

presented for enshrinement their bestest girl, Tanner.

She was half Jack Russell and half Chihuahua, 17 years old.

And she passed away November 6th.

And I hate to hear about it, but again, 17 years old.

That's a full life for

the little puppies.

And also,

hold on, where's it?

Lawrence.

Lawrence lost their 12-year-old dog, well, 12-ish-year-old dog, Beanie,

which was short for Sabina to cancer.

He says all leaf blowers and vacuum cleaners were heels to her, but she was a rescue dog.

So they think she was 12, but they had her for nine years.

She would have loved it around here with all the leaf blowers and noises going on.

And anyway, finally,

I got a very interesting email from Anthony, who also has an Italian last name.

He may as well be from Bergen, New Jersey or whatever.

So we're not going to say anything bad about him because he's, you know, he's connected.

Don't say that.

Don't make assumptions.

And that's all Hollywood.

You don't want to, you know, go down that road.

I have no recollection of that.

But he says, hi, Jim.

And of course, Brian, you are implied.

Listening to a recent episode, including Reggie's Corner, you spoke about a listener hitting a deer.

Thankfully, I've never hit a deer, but I have hit an animal.

I think very few probably ever have.

A few years ago, I was driving home from work very late around midnight, pouring down rain, middle of nowhere.

I saw something small in the road, maybe a mouse or something like a squirrel.

I planned on driving over, hoping it would go under my car and I wouldn't hit it.

But before I could even finish that thought, something massive dove down in front of me, and I had no time to react.

I slammed into it and ran it right over.

Bam!

I pulled over immediately.

Looking back in the road, a massive owl lay in the middle of the street, the front end of my car covered in blood and feathers.

By this point, I was soaking wet from the rain.

I got back in my car to breathe and think.

I finished the drive home all of two miles.

The only issue with my car was my front end alignment was fucked.

To drive straight, my hands were at 12 and 6.

I had a very nice car at that time, a 2013 Buick Verano.

The fuck is that?

Have you ever seen one of them?

Probably, but I just don't know it by name because I don't drive Buicks.

Well,

I'm sure the people at Buick would be most happy to hear that.

Boy, this slowed down.

What are you saying about the dead animal?

So, when I looked at my car the next morning, there was no damage outside needing

or no damage past needing a front end alignment, but the rain washed the remains clean off.

I drove down the road, and there was a massive

owl with a wingspan easily four to five feet dragged off to the side of the road.

I still feel awful about the poor bird.

Have you ever run over an animal and not stopped just because you're on the highway or something and you're going somewhere?

Well, no.

Well,

no, I have never.

The only time that I've ever run over an animal, because I'll break for a fucking squirrel and cause a six-car pileup of humans.

But I ran over

the neighborhood bunny rabbit when I lived in Morristown, Tennessee, and was running Smoky Mountain Wrestling.

Every night when I would come home late from a town, I would drive up the hill into my little housing area

and a rabbit would run right out alongside the road and like it was greeting me.

And I, hello, little bunny rabbit.

And one night I'm coming home and this fucking rabbit just darted out right in front of the car before I could even react and sploosh.

It was, I mean, it was, I couldn't have done it on purpose.

And I was goddamn so mad, I didn't want to drive again.

If I ever killed a dog, I might never be able to get behind the wheel again.

So, no,

I stay away from all of the, and I'm aware of these things.

Do you think that's the biggest heel thing you did while in Smoky Mountain?

Run over the neighborhood bunny rabbit?

Who killed the rabbit?

It was Jim Cornette.

Well, I mean, I don't know whether it was a big deal for anybody else or not.

They may not have even noticed it was there.

But back to this owl.

The point is, Anthony, we appreciate your email, but this is not.

Owl Jolson.

I love to sing you about the moon and a June and a spring up.

This is not the only time that I have heard of a person hitting possibly an owl, but a bird, because remember I told you of what, a year or two ago

bobby fulton on his way down the interstate

same thing a goddamn big ass bird of some description was swooping down to snatch up some tiny little prey

and had a double knockout with his car and when he got to the gas station a goddamn bird was stuck up under the goddamn hood of the car in the grill

And

he looked and there was a goddamn bird's ass sticking out at him.

So it can happen.

So remember, people, when you're on the interstate,

watch out for flying birds.

And this has been Reggie's Corner, apparently.

This has been Reggie's Corner.

Goodbye to our friends on the other side.

On the next Reggie's Corner, we'll talk about a bunch more pets who died.

Welcome to the big time, bitch!

Wolf wolf!

All right,

you know, you get a lot, a lot more enjoyment out of that than you ought to.

Oh, that is so funny.

Wolf Wolf tastes that we have, wolf wolf.

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Well, now here's a great transition.

While you're laughing about departed

furry family members,

we got an email, both of us.

He even put your name in it so I know from Seth from Ohio.

And

I'll paraphrase this because it's a very personal email, but he wanted to thank us because the shows have helped him through

having a tough time in life.

He's been dealing with mental illness since he was a kid and

really since seven years of age and depression.

But he actually looks forward to listening to these fucking programs that we do in quotation marks.

He escapes from it for a couple hours.

And he likes when we talk about the older wrestling, as do we, because he's not a fan of today's wrestling, but he wasn't old enough to see the stuff first run.

So he enjoys looking back at it.

But Seth, we wanted to say thank you.

And

we appreciate you writing and letting us know we're able to help.

And if you weren't listening, well, then we wouldn't be able to help anybody, would we, Brian?

That's right.

That sounded like as full-throated endorsement, endorsement as for the shihzu a minute ago.

Okay, we got.

Can I read this?

I don't know.

This person, we may be outing somebody.

Do you think we'll get him fired from anything with the heat we've got?

If we talk about a famous actor that listens to the program?

Oh, I don't know.

Is it

a man?

It's a male actor?

Well, like an actor, it would be an actress.

I don't think they call them actresses anymore.

I think everyone's now just considered an actor.

Oh, goddammit.

Well, I don't have time to keep it.

I learned all the words once.

If we're going to goddamn start changing the meanings, it's not my fault.

I've got other things to do than go back and check.

But he's in show business.

Whatever he does.

That's right.

And so we're going to out him here and get some heat on him with all the people that hate us.

But his name, Gabriel Luna,

he wrote us.

He sent us an email.

He's an actor.

He's from Austin, Texas, but now he's out in Los Angeles.

And he plays Tommy Miller

on the HBO program The Last of Us, which we were talking about.

Yeah, we just talked about that.

Because we said, what the fuck is this mushroom shit in flares?

Woo!

Cordyceps.

Cordyceps, which then because we read the ingredients and it passed us by,

but then tons of the listeners, apparently we're the only ones that don't watch the Last of Us.

So I guess we're the last of them.

I am the last of us.

Well, I'm the last of me.

I'm the last of us.

I'm the last.

Oh, goddamn.

That's right.

You are the last of us.

That's right.

Well, and I'm second to last, but nevertheless,

or nevertheless, we need to get with the program because the viewers sent in, hey, the cordyceps is what takes over your mind.

It's the fungus and the last of us.

And then we were talking about the program and he continues on to say,

after saying that he plays Tommy Miller on The Last of Us, I've been listening to the podcast and want to thank you and Brian for mentioning our show.

I love Ric Flair, but due to the content of our program, I'm a bit skeptical of most

things fungus.

But he says he's a big fan of the experience, especially loving all the talk about his favorite wrestler, the great Dusty Rhodes.

He's a big hometown hero back home in Austin.

In fact, he went to the same elementary school in East Austin where my dad went, Allen Elementary.

So there you go.

There's a direct,

semi-direct connection between Dusty Rhodes and The Last of Us.

Dusty Rhodes went to elementary school in Austin, Texas, where the father of Gabriel Luna, the star of the program, The Last of Us, the main character, Tommy Miller, he's obviously, he's got to be the head honcho on the program, right?

I don't know.

Well, we got to find out.

But he's got great taste.

Did Dusty ever talk about his childhood?

Not to you, obviously, but just, do you remember him ever doing an interview and saying anything?

What was it like growing up?

Dusty ever, ever talking about Gabriel Luna's childhood?

No, he didn't.

No, no.

But just as a kid growing up, having that lisp, was it difficult for him?

Or was he able to overcome it because of his, you know, charisma and humor, even as a kid?

I guarantee you, probably one thing that only maybe like Wahoo McDaniel or, you know, somebody that had that kind of reputation or somebody that had a wonderful relationship like Magnum TA or whatever with Dusty would have brought his lisp up to him, much less,

you know, Dusty,

you know, just pontificating about it.

I think he did write something about it in his book, though, didn't he?

Or did he?

I don't remember.

See, that's what I'm saying.

I don't remember if it's ever been addressed, not necessarily a video or audio interview, just ever anything.

Well, I mean, you know, just the unlikelihood of a

kid growing up in Austin, Texas with a lisp, becoming a great orator or something, something to frame it in a positive fashion, he might have commented on.

So what do you think when you hear someone who is a celebrity, someone who is doing well in their craft, is a fan of yours?

Does it make you interested in what they do?

Or is it just par for the course?

Well, now we got a personal connection here.

We got to watch this program, I guess.

We're not reviewing that, are we?

Well, no, we're not going to goddamn.

Are you an expert in either

fucking HBO filmmaking or goddamn fungus-related takeovers of the earth?

That wouldn't be in our

platforms, but that's not really what we're talking about here.

Well, they only take you over for four to six hours.

Approximately, that's right.

But, you know, but

no,

we'll have to pay attention to what Gabriel Luda, the star of the show, The Last of Us, on HBO.

I understand it's a tour de force performance.

It's a one-man show.

He gets no help from the rest of the cast.

See, I'm trying to get him heat right now for liking us.

Moving along,

Charlie and Wren.

And that's W-R-E-N.

Charlie and Wren wrote,

and they're from the UK.

So you can,

you know, they got some weird names over there in the UK.

And here's my.

Charlie?

Well, no, Wren.

I don't know what that would be short for, W-R-E-N.

What would that be short for?

Rennie?

That's like, it, and I'd like you to meet my wife, Kookamunga.

They just come up with something anyway.

Hey, Jim, sending you and Brian adoration from the UK.

See, but I love they're so polite.

Isn't that the stuff Tony Khan takes?

Adoration?

No, I think he got all of it.

My partner, Ren, and I listen to your show all the time.

Upon listening to yours and Brian's thrilling review of woo energy drinks disclaimer, we had to look at the can with our own eyes to see it.

Did you notice that one serving contains 5,000%

of your daily intake of vitamin B12?

According to one online report I found, the average adult aged 18 to 50 should take 2.4

micrograms of vitamin B12 and woo energy contains 120 micrograms.

Thought you'd want to know.

God damn it.

Now that's now one time

years ago, my doctor told me to start taking vitamin D.

He said you should up your vitamin D a little bit.

And then I did.

And the doctor tells every patient that I'm pretty convinced of it this way.

Well, but here's what I did without even knowing about, okay, vitamin D.

Well, I went and pulled the vitamin D off the store shelf that apparently was like multiple, you know, times, apparently, for a person who had no fucking vitamin D whatsoever.

And I took that and I kept getting that because I'm just getting the same thing I've been getting.

And the next year, I had my physical, he's like, Jesus, why are you get off the vitamin D?

I'm like, what, what, it's a bad thing?

He's, well, it's very high,

whatever.

But

is there a drawback to having

500?

Okay, 5,000% would that be?

Get your calculator out.

Would 5,000, you did it so well the other day.

We were figuring the ratings.

5,000% of what you're supposed to have per day, would that be 500 times

or 50 times?

Or how does that work?

Say it again.

Are you still there?

Are you still there?

Say it again.

Yes, I'm saying if you have 5,000% of something that you're supposed to have,

is that 50 times as much or 500 times as much as you're

supposed, or 5,000?

How do you figure that?

Look here.

Do something else.

Google vitamin B12 overdose

and see if anything comes up.

Because it because is it are it should you have 5,000% whether it be 5,000 times 500 times or 50 times, of anything more than what you're supposed to have to live your life free to pursue religious freedom and shit?

Since B12 is a water-soluble vitamin,

it's generally considered safe, even at high doses.

No tolerable upper intake level has been established for B12 due to its low level of toxicity.

Huh.

I have a feeling this is about to change.

Well, but I mean, has anybody just

set out on a mission to take 5,000% of it for a daily habit for a long period of time?

Are those waters unplumbed and uncharted?

What's the most anyone's ever put into a drink?

Put double that.

Is that safe?

Put triple it.

Who cares?

No one's checking.

It's water-soluble.

And water's a pet.

Your kidneys might be also after

you get finished with it.

Well, I got another email.

If you drag one of those, could you be cleared to wrestle if there was an athletic commission checking people?

That's the question.

Well,

but now, what does it have in it that would be checked by an athletic commission instead of just a general practitioner or possibly an internal medicine specialist?

Your heart rate could go through the roof.

It sounds like, oh, I see what you're saying.

If you had the palpitations, if you had the vapors, the tremors, if you had the shakes, the shit.

The blood pressure.

The heebie-cheeking.

Yeah.

the

well, you know,

goddammit.

I'll give you a preview of the dynamite review.

Did you see that when Ric Flair started speaking from an almost

almost calm for Ric Flair demeanor within 30 seconds, his face was as red as Rudolph's nose on Christmas Eve?

Perhaps he's over-imbibing in his own energy.

Well, Sting was enjoying himself.

He was enjoying a private show that Tony's giving him.

I don't know what this is, but we'll go back to that later.

And I have one more email.

And this is from Daniel in the United Kingdom.

And I'm going to do what he asks me to do when I read this email because he says, hi, Jim.

On a future show, and when appropriate, please ambush Brian Last and ask him to play a lick on one of his mini synthesizers.

He goes on.

There you go.

We're done.

He goes on.

Listening to a recent experience, it struck me that he never plays a coherent tune.

He just bashes the keys at random and then acts as if he's not really trying, as if playing properly is beneath him, as if sincerity was a pretentious faw pa.

There's a tiny violin for you, Daniel.

He continues.

He continues.

From hell's heart, I despise Brian last.

Hey, this took a turn.

From hell's heart.

That sentence alone got this read.

From hell's heart, I despise Brian last.

I would love to see a man so thoroughly despicable be put on the spot and humiliated for his musical ineptitude.

Go fuck yourself, Daniel.

How does that song sound?

Daniel,

go fuck yourself.

Daniel, go fuck yourself.

More to come soon.

We have an album that we're working on that we're going to be putting out on Arcadian Vanguard Records available wherever you find your favorite records and tapes.

Oh my god, go play.

Wasn't that just Al Pacino's greatest hits right there?

That's what that one is.

But couldn't you, couldn't you do like they do when they send the song submission in and put you a jaunty beat behind that as you say, fuck yourself, Daniel, and go fuck, fuck, fuck yourself.

I haven't laid down the bass yet.

I haven't put down any other instrumentation yet.

Well, I understand you got to, you got to sketch it out and workshop it and then bring in the backing, backing group.

That's right.

Studio musicians to give you some kind of support back there before you give it a wall of sound.

But there's a lot of fans.

There's a lot of last time travelers out there that are really digging the futuristic sounds that we're dishing out here, again, from the future on the Jim Cornette experience.

But yeah, what you're saying is you're not

You're not going to grace us with an original composition here or just maybe a hot lick, or just a little riff across the keyboard, or anything like that, just before we move on.

Daniel, you could hate me to Heaven's Gate or whatever the fuck you said, but I'm always going to leave you wanting more.

To Heaven's Gate?

I don't know that he was a member of that.

Didn't they?

They all didn't make it, did they?

Oh, yeah, that was a cult.

Wasn't it a movie?

Yeah.

It was a movie, too.

Was the movie about the cult, or was the cult named after the movie?

I think the cult was named after the movie.

The movie was an epic bomb.

Ah, well.

It was the guy who did Deer Hunter.

Nobody's getting out of this thing looking good, but I'll tell you what.

Here's the problem, folks, right now.

If you can't get on free, if

he can't play it on free podcasting, Brian Lass cannot play his original synthesizer music that puts Emerson Lake and Palmer to shame and makes them sound like fucking Spike Jones and his band of city slickers.

He can't play it on free podcasts.

You've got to be a subscriber to his as yet unnamed subscription service.

So in the meantime, if you want to listen to music, you know where to go and you know exactly who to call.

Raycon and our friends at Raycon with the everyday wireless earbuds, play your own kind of music, live your own kind of life, exhilarate in the soundtrack that you provide for yourself.

and block out all distractions, including oncoming trains, or punch that awareness button mode, and you'll be able to hear the train as it crosses you and cuts you in half like a fish.

But

not only now

is Raycon noted for the everyday earbuds, but Brian,

we have hinted at this.

We've talked about it briefly in the past, but this past year, been a big year, big year for the people at Raycon because they've expanded into different areas.

Now they're...

They're helping you avoid being poisoned in your own home, and they're also helping you charge up all of your devices.

Have you heard about this?

Have you read about this?

The Raycon Power Tech and Raycon home branches of the Raycon Empire?

I have heard about this.

I've not necessarily read about this, but I've heard a lot about this.

Well, you've heard about it from me because I'm reading about it.

And they've got a faucet filter now.

that you stick on your faucet.

You may have more than one faucet in your home, in which case, if I were you, I'd cover them all up because this faucet filter removes 99.9% of all the contaminants, bacteria, and chemicals in the water.

And now that other 0.1%, you ain't getting rid of that shit.

We're all getting it.

It's why we're dying at an ever-increasing and more miserable rate.

But the other 99.9%, you know, a lot of the cities in the country these days,

they're sending back effluvia

as tap water.

They say they're treating it.

Well, let me treat you to some of that shit water.

So, Raycon's faucet filter will, it'll take the poop out of your water that before you drink it or freeze it or bathe it.

Would you like to swim around, Brian, in feces?

Just put your face down in a sink full of feces and blow bubbles?

That's not something you'd want to do.

Of course not.

Well, of course not.

So you better get this fucking faucet filter because because that's what we're all doing right now.

And

as a matter of fact, they've also got that.

That's why a lot of people these days are turning into some kind of fucking space mutants, contaminants in the water, bacteria, chemicals, and poop.

Also, the Raycon power tech people.

They've got the magic 180 charging cable, which hyperspeed charges

all your devices, your IOs

and your micro USBs and your type-Cs.

And here's the thing.

It's not only built for durability, but you can rotate this thing 180 degrees.

That's why they call it the magic 180.

You could rotate it 100 degrees so you can take a hold of this thing, turn that some bitch sideways, rear back, and shove it right into your plug.

Okay.

Or your wall, or whatever you need to charge all your devices.

The outlet.

The outlet.

Well, you know, if you wanna get it at a bargain basement fucking factory outlet type of place,

you're not gonna get the quality Raycon.

You're gonna get some cheap knockoff.

The wall outlet, there are no cheap knockoffs.

There are no words that could even be said clearly.

There's only the great Raycon earbuds, which of course everyone can purchase today

and carefully place into your ears and enjoy things.

And of course, fix your tap water, fix your life up while listening to snappy tunes.

Like, go fuck yourself, Daniel, and other big hits.

Listen to the rhythm of the snappy tunes on the Raycon earbuds while you're drinking the clean water with no poop in it.

Courtesy of the faucet filter.

And I guess you can charge everything you've got in the house, whether it be the micro USBs, the iOSs, the Type-Cs, the Ditillator Mach 3s, whatever,

you just turn it sideways, that rotates at 180 degrees and shove it right into wherever.

And it hyperspeed,

it charges so fast that it'll burn your fingers, is what I hear from people who have done this type of thing.

You know, because Raycon is known for delivering high-quality and thoughtful features at half the price of the other premium tech brands.

It just can't hold up to scrutiny, either because of the insane business malpractices that they perpetrate or the horrible people that they employ.

Only Raycon deserves your moral and ethical and professional support, ladies and gentlemen.

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Perfect for last-minute gifts or stocking stuffers.

If

you put this cable in a young lady's stocking, she's going to have you arrested for indecent assault.

Of course, we're talking about a stocking over by the fireplace, and these are, in fact, wonderful.

Wherever she's sitting, you're going to have to ask her first.

Well, of course, we are talking about stockings off the body.

We're talking about

consensual stockings.

Consensual stockings and consensual ears will be enjoying the fine sounds of Raycon or through Raycon.

What's that promo code, Jim?

It's JCE, 15% off.

Enjoy the pleasing sounds of Raycon.

All right.

Well, Brian, before we move on to talk about the

television offerings from the various companies, there was something something that it didn't make television, apparently got edited out before the broadcast, but that some people got in a turmoil over with Ric Flair.

And

this one, I think, is,

are people just looking for reasons to get pissed off these days?

Because apparently Flair said on a promo for one of the B shows, Rampage or whatever,

he's hyping Sting's retirement tour.

He's going to be be with his old friend and opponent for the last three months as he winds his career down and he's hyping a thing up and he's being Ric Flair.

And he says what he used to say in the 80s, I'm inviting all the women down between the ages of 18 and 28, no husbands, no boyfriends to the Marriott or to wherever this is going to take place, whatever, like he used to do in Philadelphia.

And they came.

And most of them didn't bring their husbands and boyfriends.

But it's

in this case, people, oh, God, their heads caught on fire.

Besides the fact

that he's standing there 75 years old,

and

as far as we know, of

still married to

Wendy, I guess, or involved with Wendy.

I thought you were going to say still married the fantasy world.

No, it quit.

And their sting,

who is we all know is a Christian.

If you go to see the monkeys, don't you want to see him play Last Train to Clarksville?

He's Ric Flair being Ric Flair.

There may be a negative connotation to it because of his age and the

revelations that have come out at various points about him flinging his tally whacker around.

But goddamn, it's a fucking line and a fucking promo that he's being nature boy Ric Flair from the 80s.

He didn't curse.

It shouldn't be edited off television.

There was nothing obscene or profane.

No one's feelings or

sensibilities should have been hurt, except if they thought it was in bad taste.

And if you're watching AEW,

then I don't know what your fucking barometer for bad taste is to begin with.

I think to the fans who are complaining about this, it's about who did it.

Despite the fact this is a Ric Flair thing from years gone by,

if a heel MJF or a Christian did this, I don't think you hear the outcry.

But it's Ric Flair.

No, Christian's talking about fucking all the widows.

Yeah, but Ric Flair was on Dark Side with a story about him and that flight attendant.

And a lot of AEW fans don't even want him there because of that.

So to that fan base,

as soon as Ric Flair,

like you said, acts like Ric Flair on TV,

they're going to be up in arms because they want to demure Ric Flair.

Well, if what's he supposed to do?

Come out and read poetry and Shakespeare.

He's got to be the Tony's paying him to be Ric Flair.

And by the way, like you said, he's 75.

It's ridiculous, too.

You know, I'm going to mill people come out and drop his pants when he's 75 years old.

It's an old man.

But here's the thing: it's because that

how many times have we seen,

you know, how old is fucking Rod Stewart?

But if he does a concert, he still asks if you think he's sexy.

Because that's part of the fucking deal, right?

He's not literally,

if he was being true to life and shooting, as the kids say, he'd have said, hey.

All the women from ages 18 to 28, no husbands, no boyfriends, but just bring pacemakers and oxygen tanks.

But that wouldn't be

and he's next to Sting.

I mean, that's the other thing, who it's the exact opposite.

He's 65

and Christian, right?

So it's not like you should take this literally.

And

if Sting was accused of waking the neighbors up by howling at night, then should he still be allowed to go, whoa?

But anyway,

I think that's the thing.

If Jeff Hardy was involved in an angle on AEW-TV where, and WWE did this before the last arrest when he was still there, but something where he was drunk driving or there was some kind of car accident and they alluded to things, people now would lose their mind about that.

They did that in the WWF, didn't they?

They did that in WWF on a SmackDown.

But things like, you know, the MJF Juice Robinson thing that got everyone, including me, up in arms.

It's timing.

It's who's doing it.

It's when it's being done.

It's what the purpose behind it is.

With Ric Flair, it's simply about there's an element of the fans who don't want him there.

And if he acts like classic Ric Flair, they're going to have a problem with it like they never would have before, or like they wouldn't for any other wrestler.

And it's because there are these stories out there.

And like I said, they didn't want him there to begin with.

So they're doing a reverse

Buckaroos elite job on punk.

The fans now are taking up for, well, we're going to run off the wrestlers we don't like instead of the EVPs since they've gone home to sulk.

Well, Ric Flair issued a tweet, and I say issued a tweet because I don't think he actually does any tweeting for himself.

From what I understand, he has a,

it was Wendy.

And then when him and Wendy were on the outs, Wendy shut him out of the account, I heard, and he couldn't get back in there, but there was another person who was doing the tweet.

So when anyone says, why are they all capitalized?

Well, I think that's the way Flair wants it, but I don't think Flair is actually sitting there and tweeting any of this stuff out.

He's dictating it, I believe.

But here it is.

Don't say dictate.

5:43 p.m.

November 30th, 2023, at Ric Flair, NATR Boy.

I am so tired of hearing all this negativity.

I don't need the work, and I don't need the money.

Can't I simply enjoy being by my dear friend Sting side for the next few months without so much hatred?

I know I'm old, but that doesn't mean mean I can't enjoy life.

I have earned the right to do whatever I want, and I'm exactly where I want to be.

I appreciate everything, Tony Kahn,

but I'm more than willing to walk away if I am embarrassing you and your company.

All I can say is, I'm sorry.

So this tweet went out before the episode aired, but after it had already taken place, we don't know what was said, if anything, backstage.

But here's Ric Flair doing what all modern wrestlers seem to do: issuing a public statement about something that probably should have been handled privately.

Well, and at the same time,

you know, he's being a little dramatic.

Be honest, you know,

he ought to say, I'm the nature boy.

Woo, live with it, whatever the fuck.

But he's being the

nice nature boy there.

But by God, it's not, again,

it's it's not like he was obscene, threatened to commit a crime, or encouraged,

you know, baby fucking threatening in a crib like we've seen on this program.

He's doing 80s promo lines.

And

I don't know what anybody would expect Ric Flair to fucking do, but be Ric Flair.

If none of the stories were out there, if Darkseid hadn't aired and people ignored everything else, because Darkseid is really what triggered everyone diving into into this stuff.

He could have said the exact same thing.

There would have been no reaction.

Nobody would give a shit.

That's right.

And I think at this point, everybody should have other things to worry about with their fucking time.

Such as getting AEW out of the toilet.

Well, this certainly possibly that might work.

Yeah, this certainly doesn't do anything to help it.

It's just more AEW drama.

Now, Ric Flair's in the middle of the AEW drama.

Anyone who gets there gets sucked into the vortex of the drama.

it's amazing

everyone right everyone gets sucked into it oh or they'll say like no everything's great here and then like months later it comes out i am frustrated that i can't get anything done but you were pretending a few months ago everything was great when you have that level of force behind the suckage you tend to get sucked into it

Would you like to suck yourself up and go through dynamite this past week real quick?

Listen, despite what you've heard, I am no Lanny pofo

now hey now let's discuss dynamite man can defend himself

uh not when i'm bent over sucking my own dick now for heaven again

for heaven's sake

and it it wasn't even really bending over he could it was almost like his spine was double-jointed nevertheless have you seen it well i i've seen him warm up and flex in the locker room and you can imagine how that you know that might take place did anyone in mid-south Wrestling ever talk about, hey, have you heard about Lanny?

Did you know this before?

Oh, no, I knew this long during the ICW and Jarrett days.

And it's not like he made a regular habit of it, but he just was something that was.

Old parlor trick.

It was, yeah, it was rather remarkable that could be done.

But no, I've...

heard rumors, and then it was confirmed to me by a young lady that frequented some of the ICW matches also that had

witnessed that.

Was he trying to teach her something or was it just, you know, no, she had witnessed it, and then I had her reenact it in a fashion.

So, he would do this in front of just a room full of people of whatever.

Lanny Poffo, ladies and gentlemen, has nothing to do with it.

I didn't ask her for the guest list.

I'm not sure who all was.

Come here, Root, trying to put me in your sugar hole.

Watch what I do.

Slap the sugar on him.

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All right, let's talk about AEW for November 29th, and we're not going to talk about a lot of details.

We're going to talk about a lot of fucking

psychology and ask a lot of questions like why and what the fuck.

But did you enjoy the color commentary by Parata Danielson?

No.

I actually did not like his commentary.

It was like Bruno San Martino in the 80s.

What'd you think of this, Bruno?

Oh, he got them in a a headlock, and then he's very tough.

Like, there's nothing said.

It's like a babyface Tony Schiavone.

Nothing really is said.

But, you know, we

have a babyface Tony Schiavani, like Tony Schiavani in a babyface.

Well, you know what I mean?

Just like another fucking guy saying nothing.

And I don't know, and then he gets like the voice just doesn't, I don't know.

I didn't like Danielson on commentary.

Well, but also, we have been told he had a broken orbital socket, and there was rumors he was going to come back maybe and wear a mask as Undertaker has done or as other people, the protective mask when you break your face.

But he comes back wearing the fucking pirate eye patch.

And

he'll wrestle in it also, as we'll talk about, you know, later.

And it something was, I don't know, that was off-putting.

So, how many wrestlers have we seen in AEW with eye patches?

Moxley, Adam Page, that's two.

And I feel like there's been more.

Well, anybody that gets missed, probably, if they show up in the next week or two to follow up on it, that's rare, but it does happen.

That's true.

But anyway, we'll come back to it.

So

the first match is a tournament match, and I've got to ask you,

what the fuck with these graphics?

And the blue division and the gold division and the,

again,

the graph that goes out and vertical and horizontal.

We talked about it some on the drive-through.

But looking at the, is anybody going to get this?

Is anybody going to give a shit enough to try to pay attention to this?

I understand it's the round-robin type of tournament, the G1 in Japan, and Tony now he has the,

I guess they, they're using a points system like they use in

the football leagues over in the UK.

And

Tony even came out in an interview and said Brian Danielson always wanted to do the G1 tournament in Japan, but he didn't want to leave his kids for a month.

So this way he gets to do one.

So

are they just ignoring the fact that the American fans

want and are used to and are educated to,

at best, a single elimination tournament, but they've had so many of those that the tournament idea is meaningless.

So now they're going to make the tournament idea more complicated that nobody's going to be able to follow these random fucking matches and remember who beat who except for this goddamn graphic that looks like a fucking Rubik's cube that's unfinished on the fucking screen.

Help me.

There are fans that think

if New Japan and all Japan at their peak were in English, that would have been enough to open the accessibility to the North American wrestling fan.

But there are certain elements that work better for Japanese wrestling than they do for what is predominantly American wrestling.

It's a reading culture.

It's a culture that reads the newspaper.

We used to do that.

It's a culture that reads the newspaper.

It's a culture that reads books and magazines.

They can keep up with that stuff.

The only way anyone's keeping up with any of this is on AEW's own program, where last week Excalibur couldn't even explain it.

Yeah,

he was groping for the phrase single elimination tournament.

And I think he was like, he settled on, was it not something where you just get beat and go home or something like that?

I mean, the other interesting thing is if it's an annual thing, that means every year they expect the end of November and December to be eaten up with this tournament.

I say eaten up because it eats up a ton of segments on your show that wouldn't be applied to any feuds or programs.

It's all about matches for points in the system.

It'll be interesting.

And again, I said this the other day.

There's a difference between what they do on Wednesday and Saturday.

If the tournament idea works, we'll start seeing Saturday show improvement, I would think, in the next couple weeks, within the next couple of weeks.

There should be improvement this week because there's no Survivor Series, but next week will be the big test.

But if Dynamite just stays where it is,

then it hasn't done anything.

Oh, it's done something.

It's killing off a bunch of fucking talent.

The first tournament match on this program was the plumber Moxley against Jay Lethal.

And by the way, shout out to the nice cult of cornet member in the cornet face t-shirt that was hooting at the plumber on his entrance through the through the crowd.

He's going to be the first guy in the fucking modern wrestling era to get knifed by a fan, not because he has heat.

They're just sick of seeing him walk through there like a dumbass.

With a security guard next to him.

So, I mean, how badass are you?

Yeah.

Yeah, we needed the security guard.

We needed cops with guns and nightsticks and mace and billy clubs and pepper spray and fucking handcuffs and goddamn automatic assault rifles.

I don't know.

Uphill both ways.

I just walked through the crowd.

You could tell by the way I walk.

You can tell by the way he moves his junk that he's a plumber's man with no time to talk.

Well, that's better than anything I could have come up with.

So anyway,

here, poor Jay Lethal and the ship has now sailed.

An athlete like Jay Lethal in there with a freight hopping hobo like Jon Moxley.

And

I don't like the plumbers matches to begin with.

I didn't want to watch them bury Lethal anymore.

I knew what was going to happen here.

And basically the finish was

Moxley gives him a pile driver and gets a two count

because he kicks out and then just turns over and puts a fucking rear choke on him and makes him tap out.

You couldn't even save the goddamn guy's somewhat a little bit of his integrity or credibility by getting beat by a pile driver.

Now you can kick out of that and then I'll just choke him out flattered in four o'clock.

And who was the heel to begin with?

Because there is no heel.

It's just two athletes for points.

Get those points.

Well, they didn't get any points with me, either one of them.

And it's a shame that Jay Lethal has been put in this position and wasted like this, but it's too late to

do anything about it now.

Is one of the problems with these kind of tournaments, and again, it works differently in Japan than I think it would traditionally here with a North American fan base, but we'll see how it does with AEW.

It's one of the problems that there always has to be at least one guy who loses every match.

Well, I'm not even talking about this specific result of this specific match with Jay Lethal.

I'm talking about from the time he was brought in

television multiple multiple times and put in a goofy group where he's a flunky guy.

And

there,

truthfully, I've not goddamn read Tony's map to determine whether it's possible that, you know, that or necessary, I should say, that somebody has to get beat every fucking time.

And I'm not even saying with the way that Moxley's been presented in this company that it would be outrageous for him to ever beat Jay Lethal.

If Jay Lethal had been presented properly, to begin with, it wouldn't hurt him as bad as it does now to just come out again in one of the few singles matches he ever gets to have anyway and just get choked out like a fucking putz

because this guy thinks he's fucking hoist Gracie.

But he looks like Gracie Allen.

Anyway, speaking of looking like goddamn shit,

speaking of looking like the goddamn beast that ate Seattle,

Eddie Kingston, did you see the interview where he was sitting in a hallway in the back

after a,

I assume, hard-fought victory?

He's sitting on a concrete floor, leaning on a fucking block wall in a hallway of an arena with his shoulder straps down

and his stomach, it looked like he was nine months pregnant.

And the camera was down with him, shooting him at the most unflattering fucking angle possible.

This guy didn't look like he would be

just if you were flipping by the channel.

I know nobody does that anymore.

But if you came upon a wrestling program that you had never seen before and were told this guy was one of the fucking wrestlers, you would laugh and move on.

Do the production people not have eyes?

It wasn't even about the content of his promo.

It's about he was sitting there looking like the biggest, fattest, amateur, drunk, fucking tough man piece of shit

mechanic.

They can't make stars.

They can't even make the guys that they've got that look good look good.

And they make the guys they've got that don't really look good look worse.

It was a good promo, though.

And then, did you notice on the announce desk, Brian?

There are three cans of woo, not three six-packs.

Three cans of woo

on the announce desk with a partition in between the announcers and the drinks so that the announcers can't possibly reach them to drink them on the air.

And the viewer at home can't even see what they are.

And no, and they never get a close-up.

You know, if you know what they are, you recognize the can shape and the colors, but otherwise

it might be Pringles.

But

I'm at a loss to explain why it looks like a display that's been left unfinished.

If they're going to put them up there, put enough up there to fill the screen or put a fucking placard

or a...

Three.

Not even a six-pack.

Yeah, not even a three out.

Well, I know that's because doctors advise that you only drink one of these a fucking day, and there's three announcers there, but

they could give a disclaimer down at the bottom.

Warning, announcers have been warned not to drink any of these while on live television for fear of possible FCC repercussions.

You think the money guys are talking to Rick?

Hey, can you say something to Tony?

What's going on with the sponsorship?

Hey, don't worry about it.

Woo!

And then nothing happens.

They went from that desk shot to Tony

with Shivani with Sting and Flair.

And they're talking, and March 3rd, they made the announcement.

And this is,

I think, very apropos.

And

at least Tony's done something now that they can market potentially

in the actual area they're going to do the event in.

March 3rd, his retirement takes place in Greensboro at the Coliseum.

And I would think because of the

level of interest and knowledge of wrestling that a lot of the media still has down there and Flair's name and Sting's name and the Greensboro Coliseum, they'll be able to sell this locally to maybe sell some fucking tickets.

But nevertheless, did you see that the suit that Flair was wearing made him look like a gold-wrapped Godiva white chocolate?

You would almost think he has a much younger girlfriend who's just playing tricks on him or something, the way he dresses.

Well, no, hey, silly wabbit, tricks are for kids.

These suits are for grown-up adults.

I've never seen,

I hope he lives to be 100, but I've never seen a man that age dress in

Christmas wrapping paper.

I always wanted to be the Mad Hatter.

Woo!

It was a weird, it was a weird energy promo, wasn't it?

Like the whole pre-tape, it was definitely pre-taped, I think.

Well, yes.

The whole energy of it was like slow and weird, and then Flair.

started doing his thing.

Well, see, that's the thing because it's a pre-tape and Sting has never been the promo guy.

And,

you know, he was putting Flare over and being all nice.

And you could tell that Rick knew it needed to come up a notch a little bit.

And I mean, I,

you know, I don't know how many notches Rick has these days before he hurts himself, but goddamn, as he was putting Sting over and getting more into it, he turned six shades darker of red

facially.

I mean, he started out as

he had normal skin tone.

And my God, I thought my TV was going on a blink by the end of the thing.

He was glowing.

He just had a strawberry woo energy.

It turns you red.

Imagine if he had the lemon one.

That's like that urine pill J.R.

gave me that one time.

It turned my piss red.

Almost took myself to the hospital.

But anyway, that's it, you know.

So there you have that.

And then we were ready for the next tournament match.

Well, go ahead.

You had something else you wanted to ask.

Any other thoughts about doing the pay-per-view in Greensboro?

Yeah, again,

I mean, should they give a ringside ticket to John Hitchcock?

Oh, just so he'll bring a decent sign, possibly.

There's no way they could do that event without him with a sign.

He was at a sign, he had signs for that specific event they're referencing in 88.

Well, sign, signs, everywhere, a sign, blocking out the scenery.

But nevertheless, no, then they get they should get all of front row section D.

Find Casey O'Connor out there in Wyoming.

But no, I don't know.

I bet you Hitchcock will be there because he probably can't miss seeing Flair and staying in person one more time.

But that's the thing.

The pay-per-view is going to do whatever the pay-per-view does based on whatever they put on it and

how they build it.

So we know that, and that's up in the air.

And it's coming two months after the end of the world as we know it.

And Tony feels fine on December 30th so they're coming back two months later

I do not

I don't know how much Sting's retirement at this point match is going to add to their pay-per-view buys of the audience that normally doesn't buy their pay-per-views I got to get this one but I'm saying that they will probably get more significant interest in the local market in the local area for the live event than they normally have been because of who's involved in that.

But as we've kind of seen,

the AEW fans that buy the pay-per-views, they're going to buy their pay-per-views are always within the same range, except when they did the two a week apart deal back in August and September, September fell in half, I guess.

Looks like Joe Biden dressed like Billy Graham.

Superstar Billy Graham.

Not even the Avengers.

Superstar Billy Graham, yeah, where he wore suits and his tie-dyed pants became like a tie-dyed shirt.

And then it became a tie-dyed diaper.

And then a tie-dyed wheelchair.

And he was dying for like 35 years, 40 years.

You know, there has to be, and we're not making mockery of Superstar.

He was a legend and an icon.

We make mockery of everybody, but there has to be some kind of goddamn Guinness world record there for being at death's door for half of your fucking life.

He literally, he was 80 years old, right?

Or thereabouts close to, and he literally was sick and in and out of the hospital and/or fearing for his life and getting organ transplants for the past 40 years.

Yeah.

Since 1989, he's been on death's door.

Literally, since 89, he's been saying, like, ah, it can happen at any time.

Anything happened?

Well, I don't know why we're laughing about this.

No, we shouldn't be laughing, but it's going to happen sooner or later.

So you might as well predict it.

Ric Flair doesn't know how to be old man Rick Flair.

I'm not even talking about in real life.

I'm talking about on camera.

Watching the promo,

it was too much for this promo.

He got all fired up for no reason.

Yeah, well, it was never like just mindless getting fired up.

There were casual, let me tell you what I'm going to do, those kind of things.

Not saying this needed to be that, but.

No, the reason he did it is because he knew that it had been deadly fucking dull so far to that point, and he overcompensated.

That's what I believe.

He sure did.

What do you think of this Flare run managing Sting so far?

Are they getting anything out of it?

I don't.

They're just,

they've done a couple of interviews together.

Who's how is he managing Sting?

What

have they done at the ring with Flair being a manager?

Or besides, he got in a little boxing match with Christian Cage.

It's not a run of him managing, it's a run of him showing up at random places to talk about the retirement match.

It would blow the fans' minds.

They should have him come out next week with women on each arm.

People

who's their shit.

Oh, people will go crazy.

Oh,

they are.

He's a pervert.

He should never be killed women.

And they should be wearing stewardess outfits.

Oh, no.

See, that's too far.

You've taken it way too far.

It's too soon.

Too soon.

Too soon.

But

they should be the original models that he used at the Clash of Champions in 89 with the Anglo Steamboat.

If they could find them.

Dress them up like stewardesses.

They're all 70.

Then what would they say?

At least he's sticking to people of his own age group.

You got to admire that.

Where did they get those girls?

Like for Bash89, when he comes out for the funk match and he had whatever, like six girls, three on each arm, where'd they find those girls?

No, they would call modeling agencies.

Those women had no idea who we were, who Flair was, who any of these people.

A few of them found out who he was after the fact, but they were just.

hired to be models.

That's why they didn't look.

They didn't look like any of our hot female fans.

They looked like phony fucking magazine cover models because they were making themselves up and shit to get on magazine covers, not to get laid by the fucking boys.

So our female fans were actually hotter, but they were all dialed up better, more professionally.

But nevertheless, yeah, I've heard I would,

you know, dictate that somebody call get six models for Ric Flair and blah, blah, blah.

so they didn't know what the fuck was going that's why they stood there with those blank looks on their faces and just lined up in line as he would come by or whatever bash 89 when he does like the first woo one of the girls turns to the other girl and she's never heard it before she goes woo

anyway we come back to the tournament are you ready to come back to the tournament oh yeah it's like we never left do you think that the listeners of our program mind that we don't take any of this fucking shit seriously anymore?

I don't think they do either anymore.

All right.

So, Mark Briscoe against Rush

in the tournament.

So, now Mark Briscoe, who, if Tony Khan had any fucking clue whatsoever of how to build a star, he could have slotted in as his top gimmick babyface a year ago, and it would have worked.

With the way he can work and the way he can talk and the groundswell of support right after Jay's accident, the people would have loved Mark Briscoe, and he's different than everything else on this program and every other program.

And they flopped that too,

and they dropped that ball, and they fucked Mark Briscoe up.

And he's still as good as he ever was, but now he's on TV a year later with no momentum, having no major wins, and putting over an obnoxious, no-selling gloryhound.

And Rush didn't treat Mark Briscoe like he did Jungle Boy because he knows better.

But Rush cannot talk.

He can't, he can't, I don't think he can speak Spanish.

He has no psychology in the ring.

He does moves back and forth.

He's one-tenth of the money that Mark Briscoe could be as a personality in a wrestling business with proper booking.

So naturally, Rush is getting the push.

And

they're serious.

It wasn't silly and the shit looked good, but it was two guys hitting each other with moves back and forth because

Mark's not the kind of guy that's going to tell Rush, hey, you don't know how to work and listen to fucking me, but he's going to get some of his shit in too.

So that's what it was.

And

Rush gave him a suplex into the turnbuckle, hit him with a forearm and a drop kick to the face and covered him one, two, three.

So just a horrible fitting just beat him flat and in a boring fashion.

No heel cheating, nothing to protect the baby face, nothing to get heat on the heel,

just flat as fuck.

Thank you, Mark Briscoe.

Wasted opportunity.

You can go back in your hole now until we need somebody else to do a job.

And here's this other motherfucker moving on, or not moving on, but scoring points in the tournament that is never going to draw us 15 cents in Chinese money.

Brian, your thoughts?

I thought it was okay while it lasted.

You know, Rush wrestles, and I'm not saying he's not a badass, because I hear that he may be, but he wrestles, like we always say, like one of the Road Warriors.

And you get away with that if the promoter wants you to do that.

So then you ask yourself, what's the future for Rush in AEW?

His faction's terrible, but he's all right.

He's a former, I think, Ring of Honor champion.

But there's not really a big clamoring for him.

But with that said it's not against him there's not a big clamoring for anyone i don't really get excited to see mark briscoe anymore and i always know he's going to lose i always know he's going to lose he's jay lethal

yes all these guys came out of ring of honor and now they're just tony's job guys ring of honor has become tony's job company it barely exists the match was okay the fans that are attending there seem to be into the tournament this week, or at least these matches, these hard-hitting matches.

What does it accomplish?

Time will tell.

Well, only time will tell if we stand the test of time.

It's a hell of a test.

And for the record, I think Rush can speak Spanish.

I don't know why you said that.

No, he's a heat of Andrade.

Oh, Andrade is the one that's got marbles in his mouth.

Yeah.

Ah,

well, Rush can speak Spanish, but he can't speak English.

Well, nevertheless,

so it was flat.

It was flat as as fuck is what it was.

And then

RJ City was in black and white with Tony Storm and Luther and Maria Mae.

And

I don't know what to say anymore.

She's very entertaining at what she does,

and

I can take her having the butler.

And it's the only use of Luther we've seen.

But now she's only been doing this thing like six weeks, and she's already got the fucking girl that's going to cause the issue.

And as we mentioned before, now everybody else is playing along with her.

And Renee Moxley Good and RJ City did the awards presentation thing the other day, the other night on the show.

And nobody's

It doesn't work if everybody doesn't think she's insane, right?

I just think it doesn't work.

You could stop her there.

It's gone too far now.

I gave it a chance early on.

It's too far and cringy and bad now.

And the problem is

RJ City, who I like, Renee, who,

you know, loves to do what he is.

Who's Renee?

Renee who's Renee.

It just seems like all these people are treating it like it's pro-wrestling talent show.

Hey, I want to do skits.

I want to do comedy.

I want to do these segments.

None of it's good.

None of this Tony Storm stuff is good now.

She's talented.

I used to say this about Bray Wyatt.

She should go to Hollywood.

And she's actually good in the ring.

But she should go to Hollywood because she could act and she's into it.

She could lose herself in a character.

And I hope she loses that character right off this fucking show if I have to watch it.

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Well, speaking of losing his character,

what we think about our boy MJF

is this the version of MJF that absolutely no one ever wanted to see?

And are they starting to realize it?

I think there have been mistakes made with MJF's booking, probably since he became world champion, but specifically since the Adam Cole stuff started, and then really since Adam Cole got hurt.

The Juice Robinson thing was a disaster, like we mentioned earlier.

The tofu thing backfired, and now you have Heels able to use that against MJF as something that was lame that he tried to do to them.

That doesn't help him.

He's involved in multiple feuds with multiple people,

which is, in a sense, good for a world champion, but some of this stuff you just don't want to see him in.

And sometimes he gets serious, and then they go right to Roddy Strong or something, and it takes away the seriousness.

The devil thing, and we can talk about that in a little while, is the Black scorpion.

Unless it's a magnificent payoff, and that's hard to do,

it's going to be a disaster.

And by the way, I heard David Mammet was on real time.

He was.

He said this.

He was great this week.

He was great this week.

Yeah, he said, who was it?

Was it Aristotle he quoted that said, a good ending is both

shocking and inevitable.

It can't just be shocking if they pull out something just completely ridiculous out of left field because nobody would have ever thought that.

That doesn't mean it's good.

And that's what the black scorpion was.

That's what this might be.

But MJF has lost a lot of steam.

I've said it before.

I think he's probably been too good of a team player over there.

I know they wanted to get Jay White over for the main event feud.

A, to me, it didn't work.

And B, MJF shouldn't have been doing a job to Jay White to build into the match because no one thought Jay White was going to beat him and keep the belt.

So you don't give away the loss to set up the bout that people don't care enough about already.

And

they need to do some kind of reset.

And not a reset, but there needs to be a new course.

And I don't know exactly how you get there.

I mean, if MJF's hurt and he's going to need surgery,

he's a young guy and he's in, seems like he's in good shape.

Hopefully he heals fast, but maybe that time off TV would be good.

Well, who knows whether he'll be off TV?

Adam Cole, goddamn, they practically amputated his fucking leg.

He can't get a week off.

And MJF's a much bigger star for AEW and AEW fans than Adam Cole.

So I don't know if Tony would try to get him on TV every week, even after a surgery.

And quite frankly, MJF may want to do that.

But right now, there are severe booking problems with MJF.

And I think a lot of stuff was overthought.

And they haven't done him any favors.

Well, and also, to be honest, and by the way, before before we address what actually was said in this promo, and then we'll talk about what happened afterwards, but

I thought when I first heard he was hurt, well, no wonder that elbow off the top, and you could only blame

MJF for doing that when the table or the announce desk had collapsed and the guy was laying flat on the fucking floor.

He comes off the top rope with an elbow, lands on his fucking hip on nothing but concrete and wood.

I'm thinking, well, he fucked himself up.

Apparently, it's not his hip.

It's his shoulder, which it was in my notes that we even referenced that at one point they did some deal where Jay White gave him some kind of flying ding bat off the top rope and put him right down right on his left shoulder.

And the only reason I didn't wasn't more concerned about that was because the The big bump took all the wind out of the fucking room.

But that had to be, if he's got an injured shoulder, that's where it came from.

Jay White grabbed him.

They did the fucking flip thing off the top, and he put him down on his goddamn left shoulder.

Yeah, you and I had the same reaction when we heard that he may be hurt.

Oh, it must be his hip.

Yeah.

But anyway, he comes out.

He's got his cane again.

More on that in a minute.

But he talks about his injury, torn labrum in his shoulder.

And he's talking about Samoa Joe, but he's putting him over.

He's saying he respects Joe because Joe came here to AEW not to line his pockets, but because he believed in AEW.

Even if you want to rah-rah,

and MJF is smart enough to know that the core AEW fan group wants to rah-rah AEW.

And it's the old ECW thing, you know, we're rebellious, you know,

all hands on deck.

You don't need to hear that from MJF, the person.

He shouldn't care.

He should call Samoa Joe a sucker because he didn't come here to line his pockets just because he believed in AEW.

Hey, I came here and called fucking Tony Khan a fucking mark and I make more money than you do, Joe.

That's MJF, whether you like it or not.

And he shouldn't be out there doing the rah-rah shit like every other goddamn,

it's not right psychologically it's almost like he's going through this therapy and learning to be a nice person who just didn't trust anyone because he had a hard time making friends my god it's it's making him a sap a childish emotional sap like the rest of these fucking people

and he again he talked about seeing joe in tna

and said WWE dropped the ball on him by name mentioning WWE,

but he praised Joe to the heavens and thanked him for paving the way.

It's not what the people wanted to hear from MJF, even then when he started putting himself over.

This is

this MJF would not have gotten over

like the other MJF did

if this was the first we saw of him.

I've said this before, I stand with it.

But he, you know, he put himself over, but he still said that Joe was the toughest opponent he'd ever had.

But December 30th is about his legacy.

And he promised everybody, despite all the injuries, he's going to show the world it's the size of the fight and the dog.

And to take the belt away from me, Joe, you'll have to put me down.

And then he breaks his cane over his knee for emphasis.

And then the lights go out.

And before we talk about what happened next, other comments on this interview, if any?

i mean not really i mean i like the idea of mjf working with samoa joe i just hate the way the actual

i hate the way we're actually getting there the match is being set up you can't see you love the match you hate the

i love the match i love the energy build i love the energy between the two it's just the words they're actually saying and the actions that are actually happening

are terrible i i can't wait to beat you i'm gonna protect you Yes, I'm gonna protect you until you get well so that that's what the heel is saying and then I can beat you and the the babyface is swearing to everybody that he'll have to kill him to beat him but

we we want some oh what you're saying

and what does it mean to believe in aew

what the hell does that even mean

well see that's that's the the little prehouse club that these really hardcore fans have it was same thing with ring of honor same thing with aew tna had some of them

Where it's like, oh, it's it's us, our company, our company is so good, and we're going to beat them.

They're not going to beat the WWF.

They're never going to beat them.

And, you know, that's just a fact.

Sorry.

But that it's like the Uncle Dave type of mentality where they can't just, you know, say, you know, goddamn, that was the shits.

I did segments of OVW that I wish I'd never had to broadcast.

I can admit it.

But I didn't goddamn replay them and build on them every fucking week.

Anyway, that's the thing is that just

MJF is so good at delivering any verbiage, but this is not the personality that was special.

It's a manufactured forced personality because the people started

loving him so much as a heel because he was so much more interesting than everybody else on a fucking show.

So then the lights went out.

And then

we could see because of flickering spotlights.

so they've added a treatment now.

Four black hooded goons

hit the ring and attack MJF and

get him down and hold him.

Three of them hold him.

And one of them has a baseball bat.

And the one of them that has the baseball bat has the,

they're all dressed identically all in black, black, black, black everywhere, black hoods.

But the devil masked guy had the baseball bat.

And there was only the, only the one has the devil mask, right?

What are they wearing?

They're just in black bodysuits.

Yes, but the one, the leader, the, the dead, the head.

He has a mask that AEW has established as being the mask of the devil because MJF wore it when he came out on stage to sympathy for the devil.

And someone stole it from his bag because he carries it around.

Correct.

And now they wear it and they lead this faction of

Dark Order Order outcasts.

That's what I was trying to convey there.

But the thing is, the three guys holding him, all dressed in black, the guy in the black and the devil mask, he's got a baseball bat.

Remember the last time that we saw the devil guy several weeks ago, however long it's the first time we saw him definitely.

And then we saw him again.

But the first time I noticed definitely, he was a smaller fellow, right?

Kind of a slight guy.

It seemed like it, I think, with the first appearance after the stealing of the mask.

Well, this guy was bigger,

bigger and more impressive physically.

Of course, we didn't get a chance to see him do anything

because as he was wielding or brandishing the baseball bat there, Joe's music plays, and here comes Samoa Joe.

And he grabs the guy by the legs and pulls him out and takes his bat.

And then

at that point, the screen went to black,

and there was neither audio nor video

for I counted 13 seconds.

You could see live the bugs live and TBS or whatever,

but

there was nothing else going on.

It was like they lost the feed, but it was 13 seconds of dead air and black screen and television.

It's a while.

And then then suddenly

words start appearing on the screen.

They're being typed up with

sound effects.

And they challenge MJF and Samoa Joe as a duo to face the unknown in a tag team match next week.

And then we come back to the ring and the proper lighting and everything.

And there's Samoa Joe and MJF standing in the ring.

Now,

there was no explanation as to how the fucking four hooded felons were routed and dispatched.

And MJF is flipping out now, doing the Ric Flair when he knows that everything else has been boring and he's trying too hard, promo.

And he says he's going to take out all of the devil's men one by one and says yes to the tag team match.

And Samoa Joe is not happy about that.

Like, what?

You're agreeing.

And then the announcers suddenly, there was a static sound effect.

And the announcers are back in saying, we're sorry we were offline

for a few minutes.

Or however long.

Black Scorpion.

The only thing he hadn't done is turned the guy's fucking head around out of the audience.

360.

And the thing is,

here's what I was going to say.

First of all, about this segment.

Yes, we love the idea of Samoa Joe and MJF facing each other because first one was good and both guys can talk and etc.

The booking of this has been

so back and forth and with this goofy devil shit going on and at the same time with the specter of Adam Cole and Roderick Strong and the Ring of Honor tag team belts and all this other hokey mid-card underneath bullshit

tying up MJF's various

attentions and then

he gets hurt

against one of these fucking

glorified indie yahoos and he may potentially have to have surgery.

One would think to correct that issue at some point, it will be necessary.

But he's still going to go into

this pay-per-view match legitimately injured, you know, with a guy.

Samoa Joe is a great worker, but they work a physical style

or did in their first one.

And,

you know, and at the same time, Tony is allowing him to be presented in this fashion where he is outdeviled by all these different heels and now is coming off like a whiny little prick that's gone through some kind of psychoanalysis to determine that he needs to change his ways.

I'm just

disheartened by this whole thing.

Like I said before, I think with MJF, a lot of people, whether it's MJF himself, whether it's Tony Khan, whether it's whoever else there works with him on this stuff, I think a lot of stuff has been overthought.

And

simplicity is your friend.

And MJF needs to somehow, with the belt or without it, get back to that.

Well.

Can we talk about the devil?

That's what I was going to say.

I have a theory that sounds like it might fit based on something that somebody tweeted.

Would you like to hear that theory?

Yeah, I don't know where you're going.

Sure.

Because

right after, not right after, but there was a commercial break or whatever, but within minutes after

this angle where the big guy

in the black hood and the black outfit and the baseball bat tried to accost MJF,

Wardlow came out right at the top of the 9 o'clock hour.

And there was a fellow on Twitter.

Was it Vince McMahon's thoughts?

I can't remember.

But he put a picture of the guy holding the bat in the ring and then a picture of Wardlow coming down the ramp for his match.

And Wardlow's hair is all flattened down but poofed up at the same time.

And he said, it's what it looks like when you've just pulled your mask off, pal, or what pulling your mask off does to your hair, pal.

Wardlow is around.

He's powerbombing people.

He's a heel.

He knocked Tony Schiavone down on his elderly ass the other week.

He has no regard for other people's safety anymore.

And he said he was going to get even with MJF, but he's never one that attacks him.

He never interacts directly with MJF past

a couple of weeks ago when he snatched him backstage.

Now, a lot of people were thinking

that old Jungle Jackoff was going to be the devil.

Whether that had ever had any basis in fact, we don't know.

But we ain't seen Jungle Jack off.

And with CM Punk now the hottest fucking talent in wrestling, we probably never shall again, because he's the one that caused Tony to lose

the hottest name in the fucking business.

Did they change their mind and they say, well, you know, Wardlow would fit that suit also.

Maybe we'll just stick Wardlow under there and see what happens.

That way,

it still makes sense because Wardlow said he was going to fuck MJF up.

Well, I remind you that even the Black Scorpion, there were several people under the mask until Ric Flair finally was revealed as the Black Scorpion.

Yes, and that is very true also.

So Wardlow was under the mask.

Someone else possibly was under the mask.

Al Perez was a black scorpion.

That's right.

Wardlow,

it's a very big change in character.

If all of a sudden he's not confronting things head-on, he wears a mask and he has a click.

I don't think, I mean, I hope that's not.

I didn't say it was going to make sense.

I said if they have, if they've changed their mind from what they originally had, now they're trying to find somebody that fits the suit.

And it all ain't going to fit, but

they can try.

Now, beyond Wardlow, there are various options that it could possibly be.

None of them are really good.

And again, the payoff has to be good for any of this to be good because it's been getting worse and worse.

You brought up Jungle Boy.

I think that's kind of a false flag when they did Anthony Bowen through the glass window and everyone's like, you see glass, glass.

I think it would be a letdown.

I think too many people already are guessing Jungle Boy.

And I think, unfortunately, it would make people just think of CM Punk.

That's what Jungle Boy is going to do now on.

If he ever does show his loincloth again,

he's going to get ridiculous CM Punk chants.

So I don't think Jungle Boy, you brought up Wardlow.

Let me hit you with a few other names.

One of the first names everyone guessed, Adam Cole.

Well, but

this would be his way of turning on the devil by taking the devil's mask and orchestrating a series of attacks on other people too, right?

They attacked.

Who'd they attack in the back?

Was it Tavin and Bennett or was it someone else?

Well,

that might have been the original intent.

I can't remember whether, yes, this thing started even before Adam broke his ankle,

but he can't be the devil now

because not only would the devil be limping along with he'd be swinging a cane instead of a ball bat,

Adam's surgery, there has to be a payoff before next summer or fall.

And

does anybody expect him back in the ring before then, if that?

So it can't be Adam Cole.

Yeah, they can't.

By the way, I just don't think they can do the devil thing for that long.

People will really hate it.

Well, yeah, and it couldn't be Adam Cole announcing that he had hired people to do this for him because he was injured because it started before he got hurt.

I mean, they can do anything.

Another option people thought is maybe MJF is still the devil and he's playing a trick on everyone else for some reason.

Now, that sounds like an idea that Tony would have, and that's why it scares me.

That may be the most likely thing so far, just because it makes absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever.

The first time we saw the person who stole the devil's mask, they seem rather slight.

Some people think maybe it will be.

Are you saying slim,

light at body weight when you say slight?

Yes, not a big wrestler.

Some people think it may be Tony Khan himself.

Oh boy.

As much as I would like to.

There's your bidding war.

The bidding war for 2024 will be the devil is Tony Khan against MJF.

No, as much as I would like to ascribe any bad idea, if at all possible, to Tony Khan, no.

Number one, I don't think he would dare.

I don't, well, not dare.

I don't think he would ever agree to being a heel to his fans, and I don't think any of his sycophants would let him do that.

So, no, it ain't Tony Khan.

What about a member of the elite?

Kenny Omega.

No, that makes absolutely not.

I mean, anything's possible again when you're not trying to make sense and you're probably changing from the original idea, but no, that makes no sense whatsoever.

Let me hit you with one I've been thinking about a little bit recently.

Dr.

Britt Baker.

DMD.

I'm not saying this is a good idea, but

I can see these guys convincing themselves that it is.

Someone stole the mask.

Someone who wants to hurt MJF.

Someone who wants to get MJF away from Adam Cole.

Someone who's also hurting their other friends.

Britt Baker hasn't been on TV in a while.

She just put out a tweet complaining about how much promo time MJF gets.

Everyone knows she's Adam Cole's girlfriend.

Everyone knows that Tony Khan loves Adam Cole.

He's had a good relationship with Britt.

What would happen if there's some kind of match, maybe it's the world's end match with Samoa Joe, and the devil gets in the ring, pulls off the mask,

rather slight, you know, it's not a big wrestler, and it's Dr.

Britt Baker.

And then she reveals

that while they were in the south of France, she caught MJF and Adam Cole in bed together.

Whoa, I didn't see that.

That was Bianca Jagger.

I'm sorry.

And it was Mick and David Bowie.

No, you got the whole story wrong.

It was Angie Bowie, and she claimed she caught Mick and David Bowie in bed.

Ah.

Well, it was Angie Bowie.

Bianca Jagger was too busy doing Coke and hanging out with Warhole and the gang.

Well, there you go.

Warhole.

See?

Wasn't that the name of a job guy they used, Warhole?

No, that was Warhorse.

That was Warhorse.

Yeah, he ruled ass.

That's why they called him Warhole.

But anyway.

Instead of Warhole, we have Wardlow here, but we're talking about the Devil.

We're talking about Britt Baker.

You know,

that would be classic if Britt Baker was

jealous of the relationship that had developed between MJF and Adam Cole and decided to infiltrate it from behind the mask of the devil.

But then what's the payoff?

How could there ever be a paper?

Oh, there is none, but there ain't going to be a payoff in this fucking thing anyway.

There is going to be no fucking payoff.

No, by the time that this thing blows off, it will be a goddamn popcorn fart instead of an explosion.

The powder is already wet and everybody's lost their matches.

And so there's going to be no payoff anyway, but at least we could laugh.

I can't think of any other options off the top of my head.

I mean, obviously there are random people that it could be like Will Ospreayer showed up, but that would make no sense whatsoever.

But I think they may have booked themselves into a problem here, but we'll see.

Well, you know, and then actually,

not only that, but at least they're trying to explain

the technical things that are going on.

They're trying to explain how the lights are going on and off and how these words come up on the screen and how the devil is able to project his visage

to various places.

See, that's how it would make sense if it was Tony Khan.

Well, that's well, but it's it here's the thing.

Here's the thing.

It may not be Tony Khan, but it may be somebody close to him because they go to the break.

And after the break, they come back, and there's old Sockface, their lead announcer, saying that they just found out that it's an internal matter.

That's a quote.

And whoever this is that's been doing this has the capability to tap into their lighting and their video feed.

So they're trying to,

but again, I think that's a red herring on the Tony Khan.

I think they're just trying to close up the loophole that we have

fucking screamed about since the time that we first saw it.

And how these people pull this shit off, right?

So they're trying to have old Sockface close that up, that somebody internally

has the capability to tap into their lighting and their feed.

That's what they're saying.

Is it the same internal problem for the House of Black?

Well, it's probably

a different intern.

You didn't see the Julia Hart match on Collision this week, did you?

Or the Julia Hart?

No, the lights went on and then she appeared behind Ola.

Abaddon.

Yeah, Abaddon, Abandoned, whatever.

And then the lights went off and she disappeared.

She disappeared and the fans sitting at Ringside were laughing pointing under the ring they were pointing yeah fucking rig apron they're like she went under there we saw it

because you know the blackout is easier to manage on television than it is live in the arena when they've still got emergency exit signs and things like that so that's you know we went through that with getting the undertaker and mick foley and those guys under the ring 25 years ago but You know what this whole thing means, though, don't you, Brian?

This whole thing about it being an internal matter, the devil has the capability to tap into the lighting and the video feed and the house of black, turning the lights on and off willy-nilly and people's music being played at random and all these other type of things,

it means that Tony Khan does not subscribe to ExpressVPN.

What do you mean?

If Tony Khan was subscribing to Express VPN, then the devil would not be able to hack into his satellite feed, into his video truck, into his television production facilities.

He wouldn't be able to tap into the lighting grid because ExpressVPN would make the devil think that the lighting grid is located in Russia or in Cambodia or maybe even on the Isle of Malta.

And the devil, he would never be able to find exactly where Tony was because Lord know the live ticket purchasing patrons can't find where the AEW show's been taking place.

So how would the devil be able to find it if Tony subscribed to ExpressVPN to scrambulate and tabulate all of his signals into another route so that he would be untraceable?

Because that's what they do.

Express VPN doesn't want you people to be found out, you people and your perverse piccadillos and the type of websites that you like to frequent and visit

and linger over and lust after and pant heavily about.

I don't know who you're talking about.

Our audience may may want to access fine movies or television shows that are not available domestically, like The Great British Sewing Bee or various

albums or

all the programs on the tip of your tongue.

So many titles that you can't, or

it just may be that they want to cover up their late-night naughty searches in case the CIA, the FBI, the IRS, or any other governmental agency comes looking.

Or potentially your significant other agency that lives in the the same house and might be looking over your shoulder.

You scramble all this shit up, she'll think you're in Cambodia.

Because private mode, which is a thing I understand that you can set on your devices, doesn't keep your activity private from your internet provider.

The AT ⁇ Ts, the Verizons, they can see all the websites that you're clicking on.

They know exactly where you're flicking your switch and what it takes for you to do it.

And they're probably selling it to all the advertisers.

That's why many of you out there may be getting these advertisements for penis enlargers.

And you know who else can see everything?

Whoever owns the Wi-Fi that you're using, if you're on your school's Wi-Fi or your parents' Wi-Fi, your boss's Wi-Fi,

well, you can get Wi-Fi to death with a situation like that.

But with Express VPN,

you become invisible.

It all goes through an encrypted server.

You're rerouted.

You're bypassed.

Your veins and fucking jugulars are being all reconverted into different streams

so that nobody knows where you're at.

Well, again, there's elements of that that work and are true, but nothing will be done to the actual body or the internal organs of the listeners.

Well, metaphorically speaking.

Ah.

See, that's why.

You know, you're all metaphorical.

But for all of you who've been metaphoring to nasty websites, now's your chance to cover it up.

But for the holidays, folks, take yourself off the naughty list with the number one rated VPN.

Just go to expressvpn.com slash jce.

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And yes, you can see all of those block TV programs from other regions and parts of the world because you're fooling everybody here.

But most importantly, you're fooling the people that count, your loved ones.

Or something like that.

But if you want to access fine programming or websites from all around the world and do it safely and privately, ExpressVPN, what's that promo code one more time, Jim?

Promo code,

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Well, I know with all the action and excitement that we've recounted that people think, well, that must have been the whole program.

But no, we're only at the nine o'clock hour, folks, because at the top of the nine o'clock hour,

You know, they always put in a big match or a big star or something to hook the new viewers that may have finished a previous program and want to check things out.

So this main event

was Wardlow versus A.R.

Fox

at the top of nine o'clock.

Do you think

that they mismanaged their time and they thought that the MJF and Joe thing was still going to be going on?

Or what would...

I mean, they had an overrun, so they ran late.

But

what would make somebody put this on nine o'clock on purpose?

A squash match?

And how long was it?

Power bombs the guy, the referee stops it, and he walks out of the building.

But how long Moxley and Lethal was like 20 minutes, wasn't it, or close to it?

Oh, it seemed like forever.

And so was the Ruche match.

So I don't know what could have run short.

I don't, maybe this was on purpose, and he's just crazy.

That's that's a possibility,

but that's what happened.

And then

to celebrate the return of Dante Martin from a fucking broken leg where his to remind everybody because they did, they showed the VTR of it.

I couldn't watch it.

I didn't watch it.

He had his leg broken and his foot turned around and was flopping in the complete opposite direction.

But one would think that that would happen because he let a fucking idiot penthouse give him a goddamn Canadian destroyer off a ladder through a table onto the floor

but you have to be an idiot to take it so it's both guys fault well no you got to be an idiot to do it somebody you got to be I was about to say in Dante Moron Dante Moron

Dante Moron that'll be his NXT there you go um

he's just as as much at fault because he let somebody do it to him, but you could have hurt yourself doing it to somebody

because it was stupid and there was no reason for it.

So that was last March.

He's just come back.

And now we were treated to the

origin story of Broken Mad Hardy's discontent.

They actually booked on television Matt and Jay Hardy and Brother Zay, who used to be,

what did I say?

Jay Hardy.

Matt and Jay Hardy.

Sorry about that.

Matt and Jeff Hardy

and Brother Zay.

See, Jay Zay,

who used to be Isaiah Cassidy before his partner got hurt, mysteriously disappeared somewhere.

And

I guess he was teamed with the Hardys because he was one of the underneath guys that fucking Matt Hardy, when he was a crooked manager, was trying to bilk out of his money on a contract.

So they're still together.

But now it's the Hardy boys together with Brother Zay,

and they wrestled the returning Dante Moron

and his brother Darius and that superstar that Jericho created, Action Andretty.

I said, Who are the fucking babyfaces?

Who are we supposed to be cheering for?

Well, clearly, Pop Flight are babyfaces because they're hometown boys.

Then why put them against the fucking Hardys?

I can't explain what sense did this make,

And apparently, the way it was designed,

and now after Matt's tweet, we may know a little bit more about why.

They wiped Matt and Jeff out on the floor with something, and they just stayed there.

And then all three of the other babyfaces, Andretty and the Martins, did repeated shit to Zay.

And so it was three babyfaces kicking the shit out of one babyface, and then they beat him one, two, three, and you never saw the Hardys again,

which was probably the only way they would agree to be involved in that thing.

So that's obviously what pissed Matt off and led to that tweet that happened a day or two later.

And this was the most ridiculous matchmaking.

And

why would you do this?

That was a running theme in the program.

Do you have an answer?

I can go on.

No, like you said, you can certainly understand why the Hardys would be frustrated, specifically this week.

We last saw Action Andretti dropping Roddy Strong on his head.

Forgot about that.

Oh, that's right.

That's right.

Nothing else you could really say here.

The Martins are back together as a tag team.

Usually they have a good three or four week run before one of them gets hurt.

Yeah.

So hopefully, this is a good four weeks.

And,

you know, that's one of the few teams I'd like to see in there with FTR.

Not just one match, but

something where these guys can actually learn from FTR.

If they are kids that will be quiet and listen, I bet FTR could get

the best thing out of them they could get.

You know, I said the other day there was nothing what FTR really was interested in.

I'll be interested in that.

Well, we'll never see that.

Unless they beat FTR, then we might see it.

But you said there was nothing really that they could say.

Well, that's apparent because After we came back from the break, Renee Moxley Good was in the back with the Martins and Andretti,

and there was nothing they could say but because

before they could speak a word in walks penthouse

the motherfucker that crippled this guy to begin with i'd never want to see him again right

and he comes in with alex and he brings in

i gave felix his brother and either

gravity or commander or dir commissar or whoever the fuck the other guy was felix is his brother

penthouse's brother yeah you said felix's brother came out.

And no, I said he brings in Felix, his brother.

Oh, I thought you said Felix's brother.

No, Felix is his brother.

Yes.

And the other guy was one of the people that wears a mask and fucking has a weird name.

Like I said, Gravity or Commander or Commissar or whoever the fuck.

And he...

He counted to three.

He challenged for a six-man tag team match by counting counting to three.

Penthouse points at each one of them says one, two, three.

And then he points at them himself, one, and his other guys, two, three.

So he challenged them for a six-match.

That was the segment that the Hardys put this fucking team over to get to.

Did you like the TBS title match between Julia Hart and Emmy Mercury?

Well, she's not wearing the mustache anymore, although she still has has the crown and the cape

of a royal Freddie Mercury.

I think she's eaten too much margarine.

Well, she's back, and usually when she's back, she's on a lot, and then she goes away again.

Well, I'll tell you, next to Emmy,

Julia Hart looks like Rhea Ripley.

Because Emmy looks like they dressed up a pudgy dollar store cashier and said, go out there and imitate wrestling moves.

And

but the reason I even remark about this match is because of the finish.

Did you pay any attention to it at all?

I don't think so, but you're going to mention it and I'm going to remember that I saw it.

Julia Hart goes for a moonsault because that's her finish, right?

Right.

I did see that.

But Emmy is way too close to the turnbuckle.

And as she's laying there, she realizes that Julia is going to, when she does the moonsault, the backflip, she's going to overshoot her.

So as Julia is in midair,

Emmy tries to,

like

the 3,000 people that are in this building or whatever are not going to notice.

Emmy thinks if she just rolls over once and

that she'll be in the right place.

But as she tries to roll over once, she rolled over on her stomach and only got a half of a roll.

Before Julia landed on her, Julia hit the moonsalt on Emmy's back, and they both kind of landed in a heap, and the fans couldn't tell who got hurt.

And then Julia just rolled her over and covered her one, two, three.

I did see this.

Yes.

So it looked like she thought, I'll just do a complete revolution laying here flat on my back and end up in the exact right place for her to land on me and started too late.

So then.

Are the house of black babyfaces or heels?

It depends on who's in there.

Julia Hart's a babyface because this is a bunch of sexually frustrated guys that are either afraid to or unable to get laid.

And that's, you know,

their dream girl.

There's more to it than that, but that may be a portion of the audience.

Well, whichever portion of the audience I'm thinking about is the one that they're thinking with, also about Julia Hart.

But

when the other fucking bleckers get in there, without her, it's, you know, eh.

Anyway, did you want to talk about the big showdown, the big heart-rendering

English-rendering showdown discussion between Edge and Christian Cage?

Well, I think we have to talk about it.

I'll just say one thing and then let you say everything.

I think if you looked at our audience, and it's a pretty big audience,

maybe 95% of the audience could have booked an Adam Copeland Christian Cage feud better than whatever we've seen play out on AEW-TV.

which,

again, simplicity is your friend, wrestling bookers and sons of billionaires.

Simplicity is your friend.

He can't be simple because the medicine doesn't slow the brain down that far for him to be simple and tell a story that everyone would understand and want to hear.

It's bouncing off of the insides of his brain like a fucking bullet ricocheting off the inside of a grain silo.

So Christian Cage comes to the ring with five security guards who are obviously outlaw wrestlers because you can tell them a mile away.

And one guy had on high waters that looked like he was wearing fucking Lord Littlebrook's pants.

And they invited, or he invited, Christian did, Edge into the ring to speak to him.

He said, if you don't mind making your presence felt.

And they're listening or they're trying to put a little

logic and realism in this because he called him, he didn't come out.

And Christian gets flustered and calls him out again, calls for his truck, play his music, nothing.

So at least it wasn't set up, but the problem was

that Christian hadn't thought of a lot of real entertaining shit to keep him busy while we were waiting for him to come out.

But nevertheless, then they play the music and out comes Biker Edge.

He's wearing a fucking knit cap and goddamn leather

vest and a fucking fucking heavy metal t-shirt of some description and blue jeans.

He looks like he just came from a Hell's Angels rally.

Was this guy not in the WWE last year wearing a long sequined robe?

Looking like a star instead of a fucking biker?

Maybe he moved to the mean part of Toronto.

No, he moved to the bad side of Asheville.

Actually, I guess he probably would find some bikers over there at the mean side of Asheville.

Because the polo ponies don't roam free.

They're on the menu at the corner diner.

But anyway, so then Christian hides behind the security when Edge gets in the ring.

And then he tells him, wait a minute, I want to talk to you.

Security, leave.

And they leave the ring.

And Edge does not

in any way advance on Christian.

Christian backs up in the corner with nothing in between him but air and opportunity.

And he says,

we're not going to make it to the match in Montreal on December 6th, which is this coming week or this week as we're in it,

for our match that we're going to have because I'm sorry.

And the crowd immediately starts chanting bullshit.

And then Christian says.

Well, biker Adam Copeland seemed to kind of believe it.

Well, you know, he was being contemplative,

Adam Copeland.

Contemplative Copeland.

The biker.

Yes.

Contemplative Copeland used to be on the

evangelistic circuit with Armageddon T Thunderbird.

But nevertheless.

It's amazing what Gum Alley does to a man.

It was a revelation.

So Christian says that Edge took out Dino and he took out Nick.

So Christian, he went for a drive and he reflected and soul searched.

How did I become this person?

Who am I?

Let me clarify this.

He told old road stories about their younger days together

and how they used to take his mother's car places and do this and that and the other thing.

And we were the greatest tag team ever.

And Christian's father was like Edge's father, so they're brothers.

And Christian's, I love you, man.

This was not only extremely long, but nobody was buying it except Edge looked like he was actually thinking about it,

trying to milk the suspense.

It was long, wasn't it, Brian?

It certainly was.

And it's important to note that although a lot of people love Christian's performance in these things, this is two weeks in a row with a long, never-ending, not good segment.

Yes.

That just never ends.

And I've said he's a bond villain.

He's been my favorite fucking heel on the program, and he's a verbal wordsmith, but no.

this and

so Edge thinks about it he's conflicted and then after all this big apology and all his sob story and going back to when they were kids at their

their mommy's knee or whatever the fuck before Edge even thinks about it and answers Christian tries to hit him with the title belt

And as he comes to swing, Edge just turns around and knees Christian in the nuts

and says, nice try, dumbass.

Next week, I'm going to win that belt.

And by the way, here's something else.

Go fuck yourself.

And that was not muted at all.

But then three seconds later, there was a long three or four second audio mute.

So you can tell that even the fucking guy, he's got one job.

There's a seven second delay and you got your finger on the fucking button.

You got one job, but he he was so bored and zoned out by all this ka-ka and fake drama that had gone on before

that by the time he heard fuck,

it had already gone out to America.

And then he bleeped whatever the fuck else was said.

And that was, that was that.

What'd you think, Brian?

Not everyone could pull off go fuck yourself.

I grew up in the Northeast.

I'd I'd like to think I could pull it off.

Adam Copeland, not so much.

You know, it reminded me of the way you broke it down.

Christian just turning on him with the belt.

I mean, why do all of this to do that?

It's so dumb.

It's like when Callas turned on Jericho because Jericho didn't turn on him.

Yes.

It's just overthought.

But get the answer first.

Let him say no first before you try to swing at him from behind.

It may have worked.

There are just ideas, it seems like, thrown against a wall and they go out of order, and it doesn't matter.

They just do it this way.

I mean, we could talk more about this angle.

What do you think about the fact they're doing the match next week or this coming week on dynamite?

Not on the pay-per-view, but on dynamite.

Well,

you got to get this young kid, Copeland, over.

Put him on TV where people will see him and then put him in a pay-per-view match when they know who he is.

Of course, it's insane.

They signed Edge and the ratings went down.

That's not a reflection of Edge.

That's a reflection of Tony going over the Edge.

Nothing helps.

Again, that's the thing.

Give this away.

It's 25 years in the making.

Edge versus Christian has not happened since their tryout match in Toronto, where they got signed to a developmental deal in 1997.

So he's putting it on fucking TV next week, three weeks in front of a pay-per-view.

Unless you thought that the Christian Darby stuff was so important that it needed to continue, and by the way, it seems like that's over now,

then there's no way this whole thing couldn't have been done better.

And I meant it before, and I said it.

I bet the majority of this audience, if I said, or if you said, they don't listen to me, if you said, there's an Adam Copeland.

Well, apparently Daniel does.

Hey, Daniel, he hates you from hell's heart.

Go fuck yourself, Daniel.

But if

you said book, Adam Copeland, book, Edge versus Christian, the big feud finally,

it wouldn't have been this.

It's making me want to see them wrestle each other and do stuff less.

Christian's getting go-away heat pretty quick because these segments are all going long.

And then he always has now the fake, like, oh, oh, my God, what, what?

In the middle of the thing, he doesn't know what's going on.

He loses control.

These are not good segments.

And when he was talking about himself and he had the dinosaur there as a backup, as a bodyguard and a flunky, that was great.

But once we brought Nick Plain into the thing and there's more attention on these two and they're not good

and he's not good talking more about them in this convoluted saga

between him and

his best friend Adam that could have, as you said, easily been told in a better and more realistic way.

Yeah.

It's that it seems like two best friends performing with each other.

That's the issue.

They keep showing all these photos of them in the past.

It still seems like two guys playing characters playing with each other.

Hey, wouldn't it be cool that you say this and I'll say that?

And then I'll say, go fuck yourself.

Tony, you can get that, right?

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah,

we'll tell the audio guy so he can bleep it.

Go ahead and say it.

Didn't they get in trouble when Moxley literally said, go fuck yourself the first time on the air to a fan?

And then Jericho tried to run with GFY the same week.

Yeah.

But Moxley had just said it, so you couldn't go with GFY because Moxley literally said, go fuck yourself.

And so he, I wonder if he had to pay for that trademark application that he had up for a week on GFY.

Didn't they just bleep MJF?

What did they bleep MJF saying the joke?

Blow me or what would he say?

Blow me.

Blow me got bleeped.

But here's the thing.

There was a

talk about months ago about the language, and they started cracking down on bleeping things, or we say bleep because that's what it used to be, but an audio mute where the sound just goes out.

And

it seemed like they got in line a little bit.

And now, not only are they having to mute everybody again, but they're missing the mutes.

Those two mutes.

Maybe this is a good time to remind you.

I just went and looked it up.

Remember, we talked about in July that AEW

was banning different things and they were going to have rules.

How many injuries ago was that?

How many death-defying freak accidents was that ago?

Yeah, all of these things were banned without approval.

Spots and bumps on the ring apron outside, table, ladder, and chair spots in and out of the ring, elevated spots outside of the barricade.

Try to see anything about blood.

Well, but we've said many times, you can drink the blood, but you can't throw the blood.

Yeah,

every single thing here is something that we've seen on TV since July when we first saw this.

Well, that's because it was bullshit because people were upset that everybody was getting hurt, so they put something out like they were going to do something about it, but there's nobody controlling any of these fucking guys.

And,

you know,

we've heard through the little grapevines that the producers are often frustrated, the ones with veteran experience, not the friends of the modern generation.

And nobody's going to contain them from doing anything, and nobody's going to discipline them after they do anything, except for the disciplinary committee, which is headed up by a guy who's had two major injuries in the last year and was once forced to retire from wrestling for several years because of fucking head damage caused by concussions.

He's in charge of the disciplinary committee if they get out of hand giving each other concussions and shit.

You want to talk about the main event?

AEW Rolls on.

Let's go to the main event.

Because I don't want to talk about it.

It was a tournament match with Swerve Strickland against Jay White.

Remember, I asked a minute ago who's the babyfaces?

Who's the fucking heel?

Now they got the people cheering Swerve, the guy who terrorizes infants in their cribs.

And they want people to boo Jay White, who couldn't get fucking heat in a goddamn sauna with a can of gasoline.

And

they're fighting.

And within a minute, they're out on the floor, and they're having a meaningless cold match between two heels that's going to do neither one any good.

And they went overtime, and the DVR froze.

And I believe a fine upstanding journalist once said, It's not my job to record the overrun.

It's not my job.

It's not my job, man.

And Chico and the man.

Chico, don't get discouraged uncle dave is trying hard as he can

chico

don't get discouraged because uncle dave has lost his rabbit ass mind

it's chico and the man

well swerve strickland prevailed over jay

so so swerve beats the guy that was just having a six-week run as being better than the world heavyweight champion and stole the belt from him he had the belt he literally had the belt for several weeks.

Yeah.

So there you have that.

So there, that program and that tournament and everything continues to drag on.

Do we know how many people watched this episode?

800 and what thousand people watched this television show?

And did they lose 20%, 25%, or 30% of the audience they start with?

Well, we do have the ratings, Jim, for AEW Dynamite on TBS, November 29th, a Wednesday.

Of course it was.

AW Dynamite on TBS was watched on average by 858,000 viewers.

It's got to have an 8 in front of it these days.

We're down to

the most ardent admirers.

They were up 2% compared to last week's total viewership of 845,000 viewers.

Well, bless their little pea picking hearts.

Where did they start?

Well, these ratings were compiled by WrestleNomics.

Quarter one, 8 to 8.15 p.m.

Jay Lethal versus Jon Moxley with Picture in Picture.

969,000 viewers.

You check in the big bangers.

They come in, but they don't stay.

Well, quarter two, 8.15 to 8.30 p.m.

The stay of Lethal versus Moxley.

And then an Eddie Kingston promo backstage.

That was the one where his giant beach ball stomach was stuck out at the angle they shot.

No, I'm it's the production people that they allowed that camera angle and they allowed that tape to air.

It's their fault.

It's not his fault for having a big stomach.

It's their fault for fucking accentuating it.

Followed by an ad break, followed by Sting and Ric Flair's backstage promo,

894,000 viewers.

Okay, so the Moxley effect loses them

75,000 people before they can show everybody Ric Flair and Sting.

And then we go to quarter three, 8.30 to 8.45 p.m.,

a match in the Continental Classic Tournament.

Mark Briscoe versus Roosh

with picture-in-picture ads.

And Tony Storm's backstage segment,

876,000 viewers.

And that lost another 18,000.

Not bad considering what was involved.

We are now involved with quarter four,

MJF's live promo with Samoa Joe and the devil's involvement,

an ad break,

and the beginning of A.R.

Fox versus Wardlow,

882,000 viewers.

So therein lies the MJF effect, which we once talked about as it would be the highest rated quarter of the show, and now he gains 6,000 viewers.

That's what this MJF is doing to the reputation of the old MJF.

And by the way, 9 o'clock while we're in the middle of A.R.

Fox and Wardlow,

where do they go at 9, up or down?

Well, the big 9 o'clock hour, Jim, 9 to 9:15 p.m., quarter five.

The finish of A.R.

Fox versus Wardlow,

Brother Zay and the Hardies versus Action Andretti and Top Flight with picture-in-picture ads,

834,000 viewers.

So

Jesus Christ, they lose 48,000 on a quarter involving Matt and Jeff Hardy, but with their presentation, as we've discussed many times these days, not surprising.

So now the 9 o'clock hour is the low point of the program so far, and they've lost 135,000 viewers from the start.

But wait, there's more.

Okay.

Quarter six, 9.15 to 9.30 p.m.

An ad break.

Top flight and the Lucha Brothers and El Hijo del Vikingo's backstage angle.

It was Vikingo.

Julia Hart versus Emi Sakura with picture-in-picture ads and Mariah May's backstage segment.

Good lord.

789,000 viewers.

No, hold on.

They got a gift there.

That is 34, 45,000 people they lost for that segment.

That's a fucking gift.

That should have been below 600.

Well, we then go to quarter seven, 9.30 to 9.45 p.m.

The endless Christian Cage live promo and angle with Adam Copeland, as well as an ad break,

832,000 viewers.

Okay, so Christian and Edge get back

43,000 of the 45,000 the previous clowns lost.

But

therein lies a problem.

Now they know they've seen MJF, they've seen Edge, they've seen Christian.

We got two heels wrestling.

Why would we emotionally want to see either one of them win?

That is a meaningless match.

I predict doom and gloom for the eighth quarter.

Well, we have the eighth quarter, 9:45 to 10 p.m., as well as a three-minute overrun.

In the Continental Classic gym, Swerve Strickland versus Jay White White with picture-in-picture ads, 790,000 viewers, and for the three-minute overrun, 826,000 viewers.

Okay, 790 again is a gift.

That means they only lost 42,000.

And I can't believe that many people stuck with it at the end.

The overrun

is

the next program's audience that they didn't know that they were going to see three minutes of this wrestling match.

And so you can't really say that suddenly 36,000 extra people switched over to watch the last three minutes of this.

So

maybe now we know why Tony's doing it and not scheduling it

because that extra 36,000 people in some way increased their average, did it not?

I would think so.

We would actually have to sit here and do the math, which is.

And know how to do the math.

But so do you think, is he doing this without telling the viewers?

Because that way that gives him an artificial bump at the end?

Because from start to finish of the scheduled program,

they lost 179,000 people.

Remember, Dave said the plan,

and I'm doing air quotes, the plan from AEW was to not ask for an allotted extra 10 minutes.

To just ask the network as they go that they need an extra few minutes.

That's interesting if it is a concerted effort by Tony Kahn to artificially boost the number because he could clearly wrap the show up before then if he wanted to.

And why do something that you're going to do on television you want people to see and then not tell anybody that you're where they might miss it?

Who's timing out the show?

Whose job is it to time out the show?

QT Marshall just quit.

So maybe it's in the hands of.

you know, fucking Ben.

Who's on the clock?

Ben.

Ben's at Gorilla.

Whatever the fuck.

Listen, Alvarez said it in that clip.

It wasn't always perfect.

Every now and then something happened, but for four years, they got it right with at least ending the show on time.

Now they can't do it any week.

Or announcing when they would be commercial-free and/or when they would have an overrun.

But the point is, they lost $179,000 from the start to the finish.

$179,000 out of 969,000

is

more than 20%,

right?

Or maybe not.

Well, nevertheless, I don't know how to do the math, but it's somewhere around there.

It's less than 20%.

It's about 20%.

Are you trying to figure this out?

Well, I'm looking to see if there's anything in

WrestleNomics's data here, but I'm quickly scrolling through things.

I don't even know what I'm looking at.

Well, now just get your calculator and punch in

179,000 divided by 969,000 and the answer will come to you.

But that was dynamite.

Well, that was indeed dynamite.

And you kind of hinted earlier, did you watch Collision?

I saw a good deal.

I kind of hinted.

You,

you,

me, had, had told me that there was an angle

between FTR and the House of Blech

that

somewhat defied description.

And maybe

I should check that out.

And as a result, I had to zip through

some portion of the program to get there.

And then by that point, I was like, my God, how much worse can it get?

So I don't have detail on the whole thing, but I do have notes with detail on the angle.

The angle, I thought you should see because I always complain that FTR have these

world-class all-time matches, but there's no great feud.

Like, there's never great angles.

There's no rivalry.

There's no personal issue between themselves and another team that would be identifiable a la,

you know, fucking Midnight Rock and Roll or goddamn, you know, the Andersons and fucking Weaver and Becker or whatever.

There are no feuds or rivalries that aren't based just around, we want to see who's the best.

There has to be something else.

Arn and Telly were fucking bastards, you know?

Like, they would do bad shit and then they would dress nice.

There was a reason to hate them.

So, FTR is always missing, I think, that.

So, when I saw that they were doing an angle, even though it was the House of Black, well, I'm not a big fan of, I said, let's see what they do here.

And I'll wait for whatever you want to say.

Let's get there because, first,

if you want

some type of clarification, ladies and gentlemen, of the listening public, as to why that collision is

aptly named because it's the same thing that the Titanic and the iceberg did to each other.

This show has hit the wall and gone south.

And listen to what they presented on two hours prime time national cable television.

The tournament is ongoing there, too.

I don't know if it's the blue block or the gold blocker.

Remember the blue blockers, the sunglasses?

Did they work?

Did you ever get any of those?

The guy had a catchy rap tune about the blue blockers.

Who was that?

I don't know.

The guy on the commercial.

What commercial was that?

For the blue blockers, the sunglasses that blocked the blue.

I can't remember it.

But that was the highlight of the commercial they played for like fucking six months every goddamn waking hour you were watching television.

All right, well, that was apparently not, it was before your time, or maybe you were still at a black and white television.

You couldn't figure out what the fuss was all about.

Maybe.

Brody King versus Claudio Castignoli

in a cold match between a heel and is Claudio, is that group Heels?

I don't know what the fuck's going on.

Well, you say a cold match, it's a tournament match.

It's a cold match because there's no fucking issue, and it's another one of these matches that went 20 fucking minutes with a finish as flat as a plate full full of piss.

They have their, and I love Claudio, and I wish that somebody would book him correctly.

But they have their match, and then Brody King hits a sloppy pile driver and gets a two count,

and then picked him up and clotheslined him and got a three count.

So not only were we 20 minutes into the show, but the finish was flat as a plate full of piss and just buried fucking Claudio.

Why just beat a fucking stud like that in the middle of the goddamn ring with no out, no bitch, no gripe, no fluke, no heel cheating.

And also, after you've given him a pile driver, that didn't beat him, but a clothesline did.

And it wasn't like that, they said, Oh, God, that was one of the shittier pile drivers that's ever been delivered because it was.

They didn't know that.

That was the finish that obviously was called for to kick out of that.

And then

it wasn't like, oh, shit, I can't beat you with that, brother.

Get up.

Oh, fuck.

I think the sloppy pile driver is a fine setup to a clothesline for a pin.

But only if he had done it on purpose, which he didn't.

You can just tell he's one of these bent-leg pile driver people.

Remember Bobby Eaton and Ric Flair?

Not that Brody King is ever going to be in that fucking company unless he's serving the fucking hors d'oeuvres.

But

they couldn't do a pile driver, but he does a bent leg fucking pile driver.

And he and Claudio's head had already popped.

Claudio may have said, fuck the fucking guy and popped his own head out.

Maybe I don't fucking know.

But anyway, that was that.

You know what?

I don't have this in front of me, and I know you don't either, but I'd like to see it.

What has been the shortest match in the tournament so far?

Because it feels like every match is going at least 20 minutes.

I don't know.

Some of them you have to time with a calendar.

So

I don't know what if there has been a short one.

And did you,

I I skipped by, but I'll report here as a factual comment that Abaddon

beat Kiara Hogan with some fucked up looking move where she throws her leg up over the girl's head and just drives her face into the ground.

Yeah, I watched this.

I don't even want to go any further on that.

It took Andre.

The highlight of that was Julia Hart appearing, not being scared of the scary Abaddon, and then the lights go actually disappears and the drunk fans at ringside pointed to the.

Oh, that's the, that's right, that's the one, Isip, but you had mentioned that to me off the air.

We do talk off the air every once in a while.

Yeah, so they,

but I mean, where do they expect, where does anybody think that she's gone?

Do they think she's really teleporting to another dimension?

And you can see, again,

I think we mentioned this earlier in the program.

You can see in the arena, they've got emergency exit lights and it can't be pitch black.

My God.

Can you imagine making

an entire arena of 3,000 people pitch black in this day and age?

That's illegal.

It's a fire hazard.

So of course they're pointing, she's under the ring, but you got to act like just like you're standing there dumbfounded.

When somebody's music is playing and acting like they're not standing behind you, when the people are screaming, they're behind you.

What do you think fans think, though?

That the lights go out and they hide under the ring or the lights go out and they run to the back as fast as they can.

Well, it depends on how long the lights are out.

Sometimes

these lights are out so long you think they forgot to pay the bill.

And then you figure, well, fuck, they're back at the hotel by now because they couldn't get their shit together.

Remember when they were changing positions on the entrance?

You're like playing a game of fucking lights out, lights on, twister?

So it's nobody is convinced that they're really teleporting themselves around or that they're the apparitions of the house of Blech.

But yeah, Julia Hart appeared and disappeared.

Did I mention that it took Andre 15 minutes to beat Daniel Garcia?

Daniel?

Daniel Garcia.

Go fuck yourself, Daniel.

No, okay.

No, no, that's the wrong Daniel.

And then they had, who are they?

The Bears or the Boulders?

Boulder Bronson and his brother Bear?

No, now they're a name.

They're like the iron curtains.

The iron curtain.

The iron curtains.

They're multiple curtains of iron.

No.

They're like the fucking iron freezers.

They're the iron.

What are they?

The iron warriors.

But they still called them bear

bronson boulder or whatever the fuck.

Those big fat hairy guys.

They gave them a match with Tavin and Bennett, and Tavin and Bennett beat them.

And I was, again, just

thinking what an amazing addition to this lackluster tag team roster that Tavin and Bennett could have been if they'd have been brought in as a legitimate tag team with serious interests and given some wins instead of pushing Roddy around in a fucking wheelchair with a neck brace on or a flea collar or whatever he's wearing.

Instead of being a grown man walking around with a pet giraffe on TV like your Georgie Animal Steel or something.

Because Bennett is a hell of a worker.

And Tavin in this match could do all of the fucking diving over the top.

Plus, he's a grown man.

Their problems in AEW are not in the ring.

They're good in the ring.

It's the way they're booked.

It's the bad comedy.

It's the childishness of the comedy.

But they're good in the ring.

But

so naturally, they're on a secondary show doing stupid shit with job guys and fucking pushing people around in wheelchairs and acting like idiots carrying stuffed giraffes around.

So then we get to

the house of Black, which is Malachi and Buddy,

our friend Buddy,

against Matt Seidel and Christopher Daniels, who, to my knowledge, have they ever

teamed up in this company together on television?

They have known each other for years.

They're both veterans, but.

They had a big run in 2004 with Orangutan Pro Wrestling.

Oh, come on now.

So that again,

cold match for the House of Black to get over, and they do.

They beat Chris Daniels.

And then

the music is playing.

Their music is playing because they won.

And the lights go out.

And then FTR's music starts playing.

And now they get spotlights and shit.

And they enter.

And Malachi Black starts talking.

And

I was trying to listen to what he was saying.

I was trying to make notes on the point of what he might have been saying to them.

And at first, and then I said, wait a minute, is he one of these guys that speaks different languages in his promo?

But then I realized, no, the words are English.

Did he start like saying something that he had prepared in his mind and

he fucked it up and he started over again or something?

I couldn't follow what the fuck he was trying to get out until finally

he assumed that they were there to join the house of black.

Why would he assume that?

I had the same thought.

Why?

Why?

Where has this been established that there was an offer made?

And maybe it was on fucking Rampage.

Who knows?

But

and then he said the House of Black have been there for both of you.

When?

When?

I mean, I know we haven't watched watched this.

When I hid that gun in the Everglades for you.

Hey, quit now.

There's absolutely no proof of that whatsoever.

I helped him.

Well,

unless there's somebody that can testify to it.

But again,

we haven't watched the program for the past couple of weeks, but we haven't heard of any of this interaction.

But he didn't say any of it very clearly, did he?

Did you notice that he was just...

First of all, what I noticed was his accent went away.

I was like, man, he sounds like he has no accent whatsoever all of a sudden.

Doesn't sound like the same whispering, spooky man.

Like, all of a sudden, it all went away, and that threw me off.

And then he was just talking gibberish.

And again, I assume you're here to join the House of Black.

We've seen this a lot, too.

I assume you're here to join my bullshit faction.

Like, that's happened multiple times.

Even though there's no reason for me to believe this.

But again, FTR,

their career has been lacking great angles and

great heated rivalries that aren't built around who's better in the ring.

Which is, unfortunately, because of who's been booking them for

most of the time they've been a team.

But at the same time, everybody else gets to do their own shit.

Why are Dax and Kay?

Why does Tony hate them?

Why are they in the doghouse?

Why does Dax lose every single match he ever has except the one against Cash?

Why

do they go away for long periods of time?

Well, I think some of the stuff we do see on TV, you have to ask yourself how much of this is what they want to do because they are doing it on collision.

Well, I can see him calling the finishes a mile away and laying the matches out and calling the matches, but why would anybody?

in the wrestling business want to do any of the interviews and angles that they have ever done.

So they're still babyfaces.

That Midnight Express knockoff music hits big pop because people think of the Midnight Express.

Big Pop still.

Come on.

Big Pop.

They come out there, they're fired up, they get the fans fired up, and then they just stand in the ring like Patsies.

Well,

that's where I was going with this next, because whatever the fuck that Malachi Black driveled out with his verbal effluvia out of his yapper,

he then bent over and laid the microphone down in front of Dax and like, and now your turn to respond

I challenge you to a verbal duel yeah well anyway he wasn't throwing the gauntlet down he was throwing the microphone no he didn't throw it even he said it gently and he stood up here your answer

and Dax bear in mind Dax and Cash have been standing there listening to whatever the fuck it was he just said

Even though they've made this purposeful entrance and they just stood there and listened to this drivel.

And then as Dax Dax bends over to pick the microphone up, Buddy just fucking knee lifts him right in a fucking face.

Boom.

And down he goes and sells it.

And they get in a fight with cash and they two-on-one him.

And then

Buddy grabs Dax in,

I don't know, it looked

just like a goddamn here.

I'm just going to fucking pinch your face.

I'm pinching your face and stand behind you with your arm at an awkward position.

And now you're completely immobile even though

you're a grown man an ex-multi-time world tag team champion you're completely immobile for quite some time and helpless

while malachi hits that fucking kick that

i don't know if he ever whips it but there's a few that looks suspicious to me on the fucking stiff side he hits his kick on cash

and by the way i wrote this is more awkward than it sounds

and then Buddy still has Dax, and Malachi Black gets the microphone

and says, no one is coming for you

about three times in a row

while Dax is immobile being held down.

Not even by a goddamn

shoot hold by fucking John Jones or Connor McGregor, but by a fucking one-handed chin grip or whatever by Buddy.

He looked like he was in shock.

What was that?

He was realizing, oh my God, how are we ever going to fucking survive being in the middle of this shit pile?

And then he hit Dax with the kick right in his fucking face.

I think he had, oh Malachi had actually,

I think it was Cash, that he stuck his foot out under Cash and picked him up with his leg like,

bam, and then kicked him.

And now he just kicked Dax while he was on his knees.

And they left them both laying there.

And they've not even uttered a fucking word, FTR.

And

what are you going to say?

Well, boy, we sure are suckers.

We should have kept Tully Blanchard.

He'd have told me not to bend over.

By the way, important to note that FTR are clearly the babyfaces.

While all this is happening, the fans start chanting House of Black.

Yes.

Because they've

idiots in this.

Tony has managed to turn his audience against almost every one of his baby faces and got him to cheer for almost every one of his heels.

He's a fucking wizard.

It's like, you know, fuck that Bambi.

Give that Hunter an extra fucking couple of buck shot.

So let me ask you this, just because it's preposterous to me.

It's preposterous to you, obviously, to the people who don't understand it, to any of the fans saying, you guys don't get it.

Now FTR get to get their revenge next time.

There's a difference between needing to make a comeback and just looking like complete shit for the youth.

Yes, it's not just by rote, by,

you know, automatically, well, now the babyface gets his revenge and it will be comes back for revenge or whatever.

You have to want to see someone get revenge.

Someone has to deserve revenge.

Someone can't.

You know,

in the old cowboy movies, for fuck's sake, when the fucking outlaws came and burned John Wayne's ranch and raped his wife and killed his horse,

well, that was totally uncalled for, and he was minding his own business.

And by God, we know John Wayne, even though the wife and the horse may not have been that tough, John's going to get even.

And you were on his side because that was the right side of the morality play.

But they're portraying their babyfaces as these dip shits that don't lock their doors and fucking have signal flares.

Hey, outlaws, come and rob me and rape my wife because I'm out of town and I'm an idiot anyway and nobody likes me and I'm an ineffectual prick.

And then the outlaws come and they look cool because they got the wife and they burned the fucking ranch and they rode off with the horse.

And what's that fucking dick going to do about it, John Wayne?

The fuck?

Does that make any sense?

There are no strong baby faces.

No, there are a bunch of people with the faces of babies, but nobody that looks like that you want to admire them and see them get even for a potential wrongdoing that has been done to them.

Even if the wrestlers don't want to go to the bar, and plenty do, but even if some of the wrestlers don't want to go to the bar, the fans at home want to imagine that they can go to the bar and have a drink with their favorite wrestler.

Yeah.

Not go play video games.

There are some fans, I guess, who want to go sit in their underwear and play video games with them.

But I don't know why I said sit in their underwear, but I guess there are just some crazy fans out there, is what I'm saying.

But then there are other people who, the way they see a great ball player or something.

But I mean,

you don't even have to want to be a wrestler or a great ball player.

If you're watching a movie,

how many people want the fucking hero of the movie to be a dipshit that gets fooled and conned and taken advantage of all the time and then gets beaten up when he tries to do something about it?

And ultimately, in some cases, in Tony's programs, doesn't get even in the end,

just moves on to let somebody else wipe their feet on him.

And this isn't even the first time we've seen the whole no one's coming to save you thing.

Didn't that happen to MJF?

I mean, that's one of the things that sets up Samoa Joe.

Well, yeah, but why?

FTR used to have friends, didn't they?

They were baby faces.

They dealt with besides punk.

Is that okay?

Well, yeah, punk's gone.

He was your only friend.

What the fuck?

Why?

but they were the babyfaces and they were and it was two on two by the way in a group with three people in it the only two of them were there and they beat the shit out of FTR completely ungoddamn contested two against two so the odds were even so again I told you I thought you should see this because when I saw this I couldn't believe it just didn't make any sense and I couldn't believe it got on the air because I couldn't believe that Some of the people involved wouldn't have said, what are we doing?

Why are we doing this?

We're not doing this

i don't think that anybody you know wants to get the heat of saying why would we do something like this on the show that they know that pretty much now that nobody's going to watch

but anyway there was there was more of it there was just a bit more

did

did you check out the next match brian after that little angle between

Viking O and Pip Sabian?

A little bit of it because Suzanne was in the area, so I yelled at her that her favorite wrestler was on, so she came in.

Well, it looked like, and by the way, Google this one, kids.

It'll be hilarious.

It looked like Fuzzy Cupid versus Sky Low Low in color on national television.

Well, Kip Sabian's not that short.

Good lord.

Remember, Zach Sabre's one, it looks like a Q-tip.

Yeah.

I think Pip Sabian, what's shorter than a Q-tip?

Looks like the tip of a douche nozzle.

But nevertheless, did you see the finish?

Yeah, he fucking landed.

If Kip Sabia didn't break a rib, he's lucky.

He just landed right on him.

He did the, I'll let you describe it.

Go.

Well,

the announcers termed it a 630 flip.

I can't imagine that he intended to do this.

Was it supposed to be?

What's the most

revolutions that have ever been done on one of these things, a 720?

What would it have been if he'd have, instead of landing on

poor Pip Sabian, who now will be called Pancake Sabian,

instead of landing on him with his back, with Viking O's back, back first onto Pip's chest, full force off the top rope after flipping

whatever number of times, 630 fucking degrees of times.

What would a seven?

He had to have been trying for a splash.

Nobody would have, if you'd have told Pip Sabian, look,

you lay there and I'm going to come off the top like a cannonball type of thing, but I'm going to do

a 360

and then I'm going to turn

over again and land with my shoulders and back directly on your chest and ribs with all of my weight at that velocity.

How the fuck is Pip Sabian going to be, oh, okay, brother.

I'll keep my arms in.

What?

Maybe it's like the Darby dive where it looks like it looks incredible.

And if you talk to anyone who's ever taken one, they're like, oh, yeah, I didn't even feel it.

He's so light, you just push him off.

Maybe Viking O,

he's a smaller guy.

Maybe.

I'm sorry.

I thought I saw lightning shoot out the head of Pip Sabian's dick and shit out of his asshole.

Slow-mo that down and tell me that that's not a motherfucker that had gone, oh, and fucking grover.

I agree with how it looks.

I'm trying to justify what the sales pitch could be.

Take this move.

I weigh 140 pounds.

You won't feel a thing.

Nobody could be that stupid.

It

so it was.

Because Dan was here for the ending.

I missed the early part of the match.

She came up for the middle of the match and I said, let's see what he does.

And even she winced when he went right on him.

I was like, ooh.

Well, okay, now I said, could he have been trying to do a splash and he fucked up?

Here's another thing.

Could it it have supposed to have been

a centon where his ass was going to land

over past

Pip and take the brunt off of this?

And instead, he was off on that and he just crushed him with his goddamn entire body weight balled up.

He was going pretty fast to turn that into a centon where he was going to land on his own ass.

Well, you're right about that, but he had to get over.

I don't mean that way.

I mean, he had to get over two revolutions, didn't he?

Or at least one and a half.

So you got to get up a little fucking steam coming off the top on that one.

And Pip there being

big around as my fucking thumb and mostly bone and cartilage.

It could have crushed his sternum, broken his ribs.

That'll fuck your lower back up too, just a shock like that while you're laying flat.

So for a TV match, that's what I'm saying.

There's so much that can go wrong with this bullshit that these fucking idiots want to do where they do trapeze acts off the top rope and multiple revolutions and come down with knees and elbows or their body weight on

the jury may still be out on how Danielson got a broken orbital socket, but

it's a good bet that some hard piece of an opponent landed on his face or drove his face into the fucking hard floor.

And they just do this for fucking T because that's the only thing that Viking O

is good for.

And that's the only thing he can do in him and fucking Commander and their Commissar and Herr General and gravity and motion and fucking.

I don't think that's fair.

I think Viking O is much better than Commander whose only ability seems to be to take as much time as possible to catch his breath, get his balance, and run run across the ropes to jump to the floor.

Oh, well, I thought Viking O was the one that did the tightrope walk, but it's the other game.

Well, that's because, you know why?

I don't know that because everybody's wearing a goddamn mask and the same time of fucking Starburst Fruit Chew fucking outfits.

Well, except Viking O.

No, he's wearing the fucking

sleeve on one side and a goddamn loincloth on the other side.

I don't know what the fuck.

The point is, these guys, Jesus Christ,

why take a chance on letting one of these guys cave your fucking face in when you're already doing a job for them?

And all right.

And then speaking of caving people's face in, Danielson had Eddie Kingston in another tournament match.

And

I believe I mentioned earlier he's wearing the oddest eye patch I've ever seen.

It not only in

there's no support or protection.

Like they said, oh, he might be going to wear one of the protective masks, you know,

to come back and wrestle early.

It's just black cloth, but it looks odd and gets

frazzled as the match goes on.

And it looks like he's just wearing some stripper's black panties wrapped around his fucking head.

And he won nine seconds before my DVR froze.

So they at least almost managed or just barely managed their time on Saturday night.

Yeah.

And I believe Danielson got three points.

Yes, he got three points and taken off his IQ.

Who do you think is going to have the most points?

I don't care.

It's well,

who's in the tournament?

Will they count?

Like, if someone's in the tournament next year and the year after, do you get the claim like I have the most points in AEW history?

Probably, but I would say, who's in the tournament that Tony is most fond of,

that was a fan of

the G1 tournament in specific and Japanese wrestling in general, that's always wanted to do it, but never got to.

And son of a gun, he's come back early from a broken face

to be involved in it for the love of the game and the support of the company.

If Danielson doesn't win this, doesn't he look like a complete fucking idiot?

I actually think the person who should win this, the person it would help the most,

and the person who

right now,

it's not he could use it, but it's the right time.

I would go with Swerve.

Well, that might be, but that would be looking to the future instead of the guy that's retiring next year.

But Tony is going to want to

reward Brian Danielson for his,

you know, efforts and years of service by giving him this present

because that's what friends do for each other.

Well, we will see what happens right now, just for the record, in the Gold League.

Jon Moxley and Swerve Strickland both have six points, so they are the leaders in the Gold League.

And in the Blue League, Brian Danielson, oh, no, excuse me, not Brian Danielson, Brody King has six points.

So he's currently leading the Blue Division.

But Brian Danielson has three points has three points because he's only had one match so far.

In the Blue League, Brian Danielson has three points, also with three points.

Andrade El Italo and Claudio Castagnoli

rounding out the leaderboard, or I guess the loser board.

They have no points here.

Daniel Garcia and Eddie Kingston, both with zero points, have lost two matches.

And in the gold league, Jon Moxley, Swerve Strickland with six points.

Roosh and Jay White

both with three points and with zero points.

Team Cornet, Mark Briscoe, and Jay Lethal.

Oh, thanks very much.

But, you know,

that's the show there, folks, that they presented on Saturday night.

And that's the way

that the angle, again, another angle involving FTR, the best in-ring tag team in wrestling, but unfortunately

ill-served outside of it.

That's the way their latest angle was butchered.

And Brian, I'll tell you what, I hate to see amateur bookers butchering angles.

But you know what I love to see?

I'm afraid to ask.

Butchers,

bakers, dozen.

What do you mean?

And candlestick makers.

I love to see professional butchers that know their stuff.

Ah!

Butchering the Omaha steaks for the folks at Christmastime at the holidays.

The butchers cut fillet mignons from Omaha Steaks are

very good.

They talk about butcher's cut.

You can actually cut them with a fork, but

not when they're raw.

You got to do the professional deal first.

I only butcher the transitions.

Well, there you go.

But at least you're a professional at that.

Mouthwatering burgers, gourmet jumbo franks.

We've talked about how big and plump and juicy the franks are.

They're positively John Holmes-like.

I mentioned that last week.

The Frank Morella Franks.

The Frank Morella Franks.

And with Omaha Steaks, the possibilities are endless, much like with the other people we just mentioned.

But right now, because it's the holidays, this offer is not going to last long.

They're going to run out of cows, folks, out there in Omaha.

As a matter of fact, right now, I understand they've sent all the way to Lincoln for extra cattle to come in for this sale that they've got going on right now at Omahasteaks.com.

50% off-site-wide.

So you can stock up and fill up the freezer for the holidays and feed the whole family.

You can have the butchers cut filet mignons.

You can feed your kids the mouthwatering burgers and you can shove one of the jumbo francs down your wife's neck.

It's the possibilities are endless.

And not only is it 50% off site-wide, now a minimum order may be required.

You can't just say, give me one hoof and a horn.

Yeah, that's ridiculous.

But at these prices, it's worth it.

But

if you take advantage of the 50% off sitewide sale going on now at Omahastakes.com and use the promo code JCE at checkout,

you're going to get an extra $30 off your order.

$30 on top of.

So

let's say, for purposes of examination, that you spent $200.

Well, then you're really spending $100.

You're getting $30.

You're getting $200 worth of meat for like 70 bucks.

You ought to be arrested for theft.

You're stealing from Omaha Steaks.

Are you doing your math right?

Well, I don't know.

Did I?

You ought to be arrested for math, but Omaha Steaks is delicious.

Wait a minute, 200 down to 100 and then 70 was 30 off.

Oh, is that what you said it was?

Then that is indeed what it is.

Good job, Jim.

Oh, goddammit.

I'll have, don't try to impugn my mathematicism.

I'm a fanaticism at the mathematicism.

Folks, five generations of family-owned expertise out at Omaha Steak.

It started with General Grover, Omaha, five generations ago, and all the little Omahas have come in and taken over the goddamn family business, but it means uncompromising quality you can trust, or old Grover will come back and haunt them.

Every steak, every entree, flash frozen, vacuum-sealed.

shipped to you in a wonderful cooling container with the dry ice and everything.

It's harder than Chinese arithmetic when it gets to you.

And it's backed by their unconditional 100% money-back guarantee.

That means you send it back no matter what condition it's in.

I guess if you eat half of it.

Well, I think there have to be some limitations on that.

You can't chew it up and send it back.

It has to be pre-chewed.

And

you're going to have a taste to know.

I don't know why you would send it.

You're not going to send it back.

It's delicious.

How would you pre-chew

the food?

Nobody,

you don't know whether you like the food until you post-chew.

And then, well, folks, here's that thing.

You chew it up, spit it back, and send it back to the

signal.

That's what I'm saying not to do with bad grammar.

It's 100% money-back guarantee.

So don't let the most wonderful time of the year be the most stressful.

Be a gifting expert for yourself, for that person in your family that you love or you want to feed, for that young lady down the street, give her a little meat for the holidays.

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Use the promo code JCE at checkout for an extra $30 off.

Promo code JCE Omahastakes.com.

That's the meat of the matter, Brian.

Yes, it is indeed.

The meat of the matter with Omaha Steaks.

You love the Phillip Mignons.

I like Fillet Mignon, but I have to say they have the best, you call them Franks, the best hot dogs out there.

Well, they call them Franks here on the copy.

Not that I sometimes follow the copy, but.

I like that.

It's old school.

Frankfooter, but they have fantastic.

It's a footer, all right.

It looks, it looks like somebody's fucking foot.

Possibly a little skinnier than a foot, but as long as one.

It looks like a delectable hot dog, not like a foot.

Well, I mean, it's similar in length.

Anybody would be pleasured or pleased with a hot dog of this length.

That's right.

Once again, put your foot on the gas and go to Omaha Stakes website.

What's that promo code one more time, Jim?

OmahaStakes.com.

Promo code JCE, if you're asking.

Well, what in the world?

I'm asking you what you're doing.

This week, you and the various programs over at the Arcadian Vanguard Network.

Another fine week of programming on the Arcadian Vanguard Podcast Network.

Get information about all the shows on Twitter at Super Podcasts or on Facebook at facebook.com slash Arcadian Vanguard.

A few notes.

Big news this week on the wrestling news.

For the first time in 460 days, Mike Semper Vivi was sick.

And Lou Kippleman moved in.

And you can hear Lou and Mike and all the wrestling news every single day for free.

Get your wrestling news, all the news, and none of the opinion from thewrestlingnews.com directly, or look for Arcadian Vanguards, The Wrestling News, wherever you find your favorite podcasts.

Also, want to know.

Do you think that Kippleman infected him with something on purpose to get that opportunity?

Sort of like the stand-in suddenly going on for the star?

I don't even know.

That's a pretty good record that Solomon had going, or I'm sorry, not Solomon, but Simper VV.

For Semper V V.

My other S Fellow.

Semper Vivi had.

On the rest of the Spanish.

Well, it was Solomon's choice.

But Simper Vivi had going.

He had a good record going, and he wasn't going to come to.

It was like Walter Cronkite.

He was just ever-present.

He was there.

And Kippleman, bubbling under with jealousy, blind with rage, green with the green-eyed monster.

Come on, that's ridiculous.

Secretly, somehow.

Possibly sent something in an envelope.

Did Simper Vivi receive any white powder in an unmarked envelope lately?

Actually, no one's heard from him in about a week.

Well,

okay, so Kippelman's serious about taking this thing over.

Well, here,

no takeover, but the actual news in reality, once again, the wrestlingnews.com.

Also, want to make mention of Stick to Wrestling with John McAdam.

They recently had a two-part look at World-Class Championship Wrestling, Star Wars, Thanksgiving, Turkey Day, Spectacular Star Wars, 1983.

Hear all about that.

A lot of people have the Von Ericks on their mind.

Hear Von Eric talk at mcadampod.com or wherever you find your favorite podcast.

I don't know why that made you laugh.

And of course, the 605 Super Podcast, the

Mothership.

Go through the archive today at 605pod.com.

Available wherever you find your favorite podcast, The Mothership.

That mothership is starting to run through me like X Lax through a widow woman.

All righty, before we close up the evening's festivity or morning or afternoon, whatever time you choose to watch the program, before we close up the festivities, I'll just leave it open-ended.

We got to talk about SmackDown.

Because

whereas, again, we've mentioned that AEW has apparently lost the plot, as our friends across the pond say, and they're just grasping everywhere like they're in quicksand and gesticulating, trying to find a low-hanging branch.

They're not going to do shit on SmackDown, but you know exactly what they've done when it's over with.

Is that the best way to say it, brother?

Again, they will bore you to tears, but at the end of the program, you remember everything that they really need you to know and you understood kind of why it was going on.

They bore you in a pleasant enough way that you hang around to the end because you know something is going to happen or something will be about to happen, and you'll be led to believe something may happen more next week.

Yes.

At the very, very end.

And the people that are perpetrating it are, in large part these days,

people that are known to the public.

Remember, it was a time a couple of years ago, I said, Jesus Christ, I wish hit me in the head so I can see some stars when I watch this program.

And now there's you're looking at Nee, you got Bianca, you got Charlotte, you got Ripley, you got Punk, you got Cody, you got L.A.

Knight, you got Orton, you got, I mean, Logan Paul, Pat McAfee shows up.

You never know what the fuck, right?

And these are not

again, I hate to say it about my generation, the legends that are showing up, these are goddamn people that are still contemporaneous and getting in the ring.

So, anyway,

having said that, they started out December 1st, SmackDown, with the women's war game package, and

they're trying to,

oh, this drama amongst the girls.

Bailey now is an island unto herself and her group damage control because Teigen and Oscar and EO and Carrie.

They're kind of all, huh?

Dakota, not Teigen.

I thought it was Teigen.

It's Dakota.

No, they used to be a tag team a long time ago.

Well, okay, Dakota.

Whichever one's still hurting, ain't working.

The point is,

they're friends from long ago, and Bailey's starting to be iced out of this deal.

But Bianca came to the ring first because she, again, she's over the fans love her.

This is a level of star power that AEW or any other company's women's roster can't touch at the top of their company.

It was Bianca, Charlotte, Ria,

Becky, etc.

I'm not going to include every single member of this group.

It's about to come out in that equation, but

Bianca thanked her partners and told E.O.

Skye that she was coming for her because she wants her title back.

And I don't know if you noticed or if you zoned out or if you even cared to watch this, but this is the kind of thing that especially

the women unfortunately perpetrate this even more than the guys do because

maybe some of these women are coming from a theater background.

I don't know.

But they know what's going on, and

the modern generation, they're not trying to look at it from the standpoint of if it was real, if this was really legitimately happening, what would my reaction be?

They're worried about getting all her script out, right?

So Bianca

strongly makes the point to E.O.

Skye, I want my title back.

And then she paused, and then she smiled, and then she put the microphone down to her waist in her hands and started to turn and look for EO's music to play.

And when it started playing,

she was visibly, facially, obviously not surprised about that.

What this

she must have seen the format.

Exactly.

And it's gotten to the point where now they just go out and they perform their

given verbiage and then pause and wait for the obvious and expected and totally

not extemporaneous interruption from the.

It's so school play-like

at this point with a lot of the girls segments and some of the guys.

I'm not going to be totally chauvinistic there, but then here comes Dakota and Oscar and EO and Carrie.

And again, they're memorized and they're laid out says nobody is talking over each other.

No lines get interrupted.

It's too smooth and everyone is expecting to say these things and expecting these things to happen.

And with the four heels getting in the ring, Bianca just stands there and then just starts bickering with them.

And she's not intimidated, but a lot of people are like, well, she's a babyface.

She shouldn't.

Okay, if she's not intimidated, she should be mad.

Or she should be standing her ground or preparing to potentially be jumped.

But it just sounded like girls arguing on a reality TV show.

And then they play music, and Charlotte comes out now with Shotzi.

And they're not mad either, though,

because

they get in the ring and just start talking to them.

And then they just get in a fight, and it's sloppy.

And the heels get their asses kicked, and then they roll out and have shocked faces in the entryway as they're leaving with their tails between their legs.

And, you know, and

once they go to the break and they come back, there are more girls arguing.

Now, the heel girls were arguing with Bailey.

Where were you?

And she's like, well, I didn't know you were going out.

Well, if she was really intent on going, she could have caught up with him in the previous 20 minutes if she's paying attention to the fucking monitor.

And then they asked Bailey to help later on with Bianca.

And what the fuck is this women of wrestling?

We're 20-something minutes into the fucking show, and we've got a bunch of girls fucking bickering with each other.

Help me here.

There really is no help.

And yeah, they've done this now a few times where they start the show and have a long segment with the women.

I guess because they know there'll be a lot of viewers there at the beginning.

Who knows why?

But Swami's barking at the UPS, man, if you hear that in the background.

And I will say I'm starting to like Charlotte or believe Charlotte is a babyface more than I did before.

She's just casually kind of finding her way in it.

And now, of course, as I say this, she'll probably turn next week.

But she's finally, I I feel like she's actually doing a good job as a babyface.

I didn't think she would.

Well, and here's the thing: I'm not detracting from Charlotte as a babyface.

I'm not detracting from Bianca's babyface and a star, both of them.

And again, I've said Bailey's a good promo.

I suggested one time she might be a good manager when her in-ring career was over.

I didn't know she was going to put together a group of girls all smaller than she is.

And,

but you've got Bianca and you've got Charlotte Shotzi.

We're not

the gimmick, the whole overboard thing.

Haven't seen a lot in the work.

But again, it's fucking six, seven, eight of them, nine of them all fucking,

you know,

screaming at each other or not screaming at each other, depending on whatever point.

And it just, eh, eh.

And the war games, a little much for me.

I'm still smarting over that one.

But did you see Bobby Lashley and the the new hurt business, aka the Street Profits?

No, I actually didn't really watch this segment.

Well, they put Bobby Lashley in a single match against Butch.

And

Lashley looks great.

Again, got some new gear.

The Street Profits, he's got them dressed up, except one guy's wearing red pants.

I don't know what the fuck is going on.

And they had a little angle going where Lashley blew Butch off in the promo last week, like, kid, don't speak to me until you go make a name for yourself or whatever.

And apparently, Ridge has walked out on the brutes and Seamus has been missing because he's injured, I guess, for real, but he's been missing.

So Butch is on his own.

And they booked Butch against Lashley.

And Bobby, he did a promo at the start.

He's told him when he told him to make a name for himself, he didn't mean with him.

Kid, I'm going to break you into pieces, right?

And they had a little match and blah, blah, blah.

I tried to give this one a chance, but

they went to the break in two minutes after the fans were chanting, Let's Go, Bobby, at this huge heel bully

kicking his shit out of this fucking

again, a little baby face.

But when they came back,

Butch's comeback was three in Zagiris and some weak kicks by, you know, just by rote.

And then Lashley speared him one two three and put him into

next week and that was an entertaining little piece of business that you didn't i could have done without the commercial break in it right in the middle of something that short

but what we saw on television i don't know what they did for three minutes with people in the building it was too long for the people in the building but to see

Four minutes of Lashley beating up the little guy

on television, that's what you need.

You need even the big stars sometimes need to win some fucking matches decisively

on television.

But at the same time, the way that they set it up with a little bit of a personal issue and Lashley wasn't like, I'll kill you, you son of a bitch.

He was scoffing at this little prick that has so much gumption and talking up to him.

makes him the heel and butchers the baby face because he's not going to back down against this guy.

It's about to beat his brains out

and get it out of there in five or six minutes.

Why can nobody figure out how to do that in AEW?

Because Tony's in charge.

Well, there you go.

I expected a more vehement answer.

But anyway, so Lashley basically

knocked poor Butch into dreamland.

And you know, Brian, I had him redo those rings.

They used to be hard as concrete back in the 80s in the Andre and Hogan and Bundy era.

But I've told you the story about how I had the rings redone a little bit for the younger guys that were taking more bumps and how I talked Vince into it.

But there's still those rings up there.

There's still no helix sleep mattress.

I think you can agree with this.

I agree.

I agree with what you're saying.

I agree with where you're going because I love helix sleep.

See,

Butch got knocked into Dreamland, but you don't have to have a 300-pound ex-wrestling champion run you over to go to Dreamland yourself.

All you need is a Helix Sleep mattress in your own home.

And we've been talking about we both have them.

We both love them.

As a matter of fact, Stace just ordered another one that's amazing because not only is it good for her bad back as the other one was, but also it cools your dad.

It's the cool down.

I didn't realize.

I thought, well, I don't really need cool down.

You never know how much you need cool down at night until you get the cool down mattress.

Holy cow.

It's like some kind of chemical wizardry.

It feels like it's been in the refrigerator.

You know, for a long time, you've had one Helix sleep mattress, and we've had several Helix mattresses here in the house.

Now all of a sudden, you're starting to catch up.

This is a competition, you think?

Well, that's because you're just hoity-toity and you change all of your...

major things in the house so often because you have that crew standing by.

You've got the butler, you've got the the downstairs maid, the upstairs maid, the chauffeur, the gardener.

They just carry things in and out.

Well, it's just me and the Monroe's and the feather bottoms around here.

And you know that all of them are severely underequipped.

Either each of them has one arm or each of them has half a brain.

Half a brain.

Well, in the Monroe's case.

But together they make

Shibata Monroe?

No, no, they never divided Shibata's brain.

Oh, that's true.

That's true.

That's true.

But I'll tell you another thing.

We've been talking about these Helix mattresses for so long that, folks, you know the drill.

You know about the 10 to 15 year warranty.

You know about the 100-night free trial.

You know about the fact that you're not going to have to go to a mattress store and lay on some filthy DNA-ridden mattress that other people have done Lord knows what all over.

Especially when those stores are closed, that's where they have the big parties.

You don't have to do any of that with Helix, but also

we've now been told, we've been telling you, we've been alerted to this,

Helix mattresses do not contain fiberglass, which can be harmful to your health.

Did you know, Brian, that some mattresses, some brands use fiberglass as a flame retardant

in their mattresses, that you're sleepy, you've got your face buried in to fiberglass.

Well, that cat could cut you wide open from asshole appetite.

That fiberglass, like any other glass, is sharp as a serpent's tooth.

And you're not going to be sleeping on a bag of glass with a Helix sleep mattress.

You know why?

Because Helix owns its own manufacturing facility, which is entirely free from products containing fiberglass.

And they've taken it a step further.

They've banned all kinds of glass.

You can't wear your eyeglasses when you walk into this facility unless they're plastic.

And they've taken out the windows.

It's just a giant block of concrete.

There's no sunlight that penetrates through any crack of this thing.

It's like going into a tomb.

As a matter of fact, some people, the employees, by the time they take their eyeglasses off and work about 10 or 15 years in this entirely concrete encased facility, not only are they not exposed to any fiberglass or any other kind of glass, but they start to mutate, much like the fish at the bottom of the lake under Mammoth Cave, where they eventually

evolution takes over and they have no eyes.

So we've got to buy these mattresses to help out these people.

The workers?

The workers.

They're going blind.

No, they're blind.

They're going to keep you free of fiberglass and fiberglass-related injuries.

All helix workers, if that's what they are called, it sounds awful that way.

All helix workers are happy.

All helix workers will.

Well, some of them are making the best of a bad situation.

Yes, but

they're going blind for your comfort.

So the least you can do, ladies and gentlemen, is buy one of the most comfortable mattresses out there today that can be delivered right to your door that requires you not to go out in public and roll around on.

And you can try it out.

If you don't like it, you can send it back.

They give you your money back.

They're suckers that way.

But you're robbing them blind, literally, because these people are literally up their eyesight for your comfort.

Figuratively, well, historically, you're robbing them blind, but in reality, it's a wonderful deal from a wonderful mattress.

I don't have time to look up the exact meaning of literally right now, but people use it in a lot of different ways.

But right now, folks, if you want to save some money, I'll tell you what you can do as soon as I find the line that tells me that's right, because Helix right now is offering 25%

off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners.

In honor of the holidays, you go to HelixSleep.

That's H-E-L-I-X-S-L-E-E-P

dot com

slash J C E, and you got a.

I'll wait till you get a pen and paper, ladies and gentlemen, because you're going to have to write this code down.

So we'll wait just one moment while the pen and paper is found.

The code is is HelixPartner25.

Helix Partner25, because you're going to get 25% off.

See what they did there.

HelixPartner25 at helixleep.com slash JCE.

25% off and two free pillows just because they love you and they're not going to cut you with glass.

Save their eyesight.

That's right.

They're not going to cut you with glass.

They're great mattresses.

Worry about about nothing but a good night's sleep, which you won't even have to worry about that.

Helix sleep.

One more time.

What's that promo code?

Hold on.

Wake up.

I was waiting for him to get a pin.

Helix Partner 25.

All right.

Well, wake up and go back to bed.

It's smack that.

Wake up and take your sleeping pill.

They had a package on the men's war games and Randy Orton's return.

And

Paulie, I'm loving Nick Aldous.

Are you loving Nick Aldous?

Just the general flavor.

I'm loving Nick Aldous, but also the dynamic between Aldous and everyone.

Because everyone has like this weird relationship with him, especially Pierce.

And I want to see where that's going to go.

But Aldous has been great in this role so far.

Yeah.

And he's not being a...

You know, he's not being a heel in a traditional sense where he's siding with the heels.

He's being a snotty showrunner that's out for probably himself down deep.

And, you know, he's when he's interacting with Paul E,

he wants to, he's always wanting to call the shots on this program is Aldous.

So he's not, you know, cowering or whatever.

Pierce is more of a baby face.

He can get a little more exasperated with the situation and is more sympathetic in the, and also he's familiar, and the dynamic between them is.

But Paul E's there with Aldous, and Paul

asked Aldous

if it's true that he invited Randy Orton to SmackDown.

And Aldous says, yes, and I'm going to sign Randy Orton to SmackDown tonight here on the program.

And Paul E's, well, does Roman Reigns know about this?

And Aldous says, well, there's an email that I get many times that says all communication to Roman Reigns has to go through Paul Heyman.

So this is the communication.

What are you going to do about it?

And Paul says, anything it takes.

So

it's simple, but they're fucking, they're building some drama in a

45-second fucking interview with the top people in the company that you can easily understand.

And there's no point system here.

That's, I guess, what's getting over.

So when are we going to get all this versus Pierce?

Will it be a big thing on WrestleMania?

Will they just do it on TV to settle like some kind of debate?

When do you think we'll get it?

We're going to get it.

There's no way we're going to get it.

Well, no, but I'm not saying I don't want it.

I'm saying I think WrestleMania is rushing it.

I think they ought to run this thing for a long time

before they

are actually

physically put in a position of getting in the ring and settling the score or whatever, because then

one of the scores has to be settled.

And who's going to

unless you're doing a a program with them?

I didn't make people want to.

It took me a year and a half to make Commissioner Bob Armstrong a wrestler again in Smokey Mountain Wrestling.

And they didn't have the fucking cast, or we didn't have the cast characters they have.

So they could stretch this thing out.

Like it could be an ongoing thing.

It better be.

No, but all this has been perfect in this role.

And,

you know, this is the best way to use them right now.

It's been great.

But then

I swear to God, then they do this stuff so well.

And these these people look like stars and look like important people.

And then

here comes another cheetah segment in the Tarzan movie where they go into back, and there's purely deadly, and they look ridiculous.

And Butch has the hang dog face.

And they talk bad to Butch, and he answered him back, and they beat him up.

And I felt like with all the accents, I was watching the British Broadcasting Corporation, and it was a fucking backstage fight between models and maybe one of the fucking cabbies that showed up.

That

it's unnecessary.

I'm not saying don't do anything with everybody on your roster.

I'm saying the preliminary guys, especially when they look that ridiculous, don't all have to be in fights backstage.

It just

makes it blah when the stars do it.

Nobody cares anymore because it's always done.

Anyway, you liked,

from what I remember you saying to me, old Escobar's match here on the program.

He cut a heel promo on Mysterio and Carlito and,

you know, the LWO guys, because now he's become a heel.

And,

you know, he's like, Fuck all these guys.

They left me.

They turned their back on me.

They stole the family, the whole nine yards.

He's got a gripe.

and whereas i thought escobar was a little bland as a babyface i do admit now he's a good heel promo he's got a little surly look to him and a little snarl and

i'm liking the the the promo here and he can actually speak so you can understand him

unlike many of his countrymen that are put on television these days

Do you like Mr.

Escobar?

I think Escobar has been really good.

I started really liking him as a babyface.

It's like the Dakota Kai thing years ago in NXT.

Perfect as a babyface, and then the heel turn.

Wow, this is even better.

Escobar has been great as a heel, good fired-up promo, great intensity.

And,

you know, I don't know what else to say.

The other LWO guys are kind of dead in the water without him.

Well, that's what I was going to say, because then he wrestles one of the

LWO guys, Joaquigan Wild from Waukegan, Wisconsin.

No, Joaquin Wilde, I believe is, but we'll call him Waukegan because that's easier to say.

And I don't know what he was doing because

he started out the babyface, old Joaquegan.

Everything he did was herky jerky, except the dive that he did.

He did perfect, right?

Flipping off the top rope and but otherwise the punches were stomping and wildly over

exaggerated with the swing.

And it looked like either he was nervous, he was rushing.

We haven't seen this guy wrestle in a long fucking time.

Who knows if he's rusty?

And maybe it's because they had no time.

They only went like three minutes, but I wrote he can't punch.

He's herky jerky.

He rushed his comeback.

And then Escobar beat him with his finish.

One, two, three, three minutes.

And then he starts continuing to get some heat on the guy.

And music plays, and here comes Dragon Lee

and suddenly Dragon Lee has been

inserted or penetrated himself into this thing over the last few weeks

and at first Escobar bailed but then he came back in to try to surprise Dragon Lee and Dragon Lee did some

awfully contrived stuff to Escobar and Escobar bailed out and I wrote where is Carlito I thought this was supposed to be Carlito and Escobar.

What the fuck is going on?

And didn't Escobar just beat Dragon Lee on the pay-per-view?

Clean.

Then where is Carlito?

Who has Carlito?

What?

Maybe Carlito's hurt.

Maybe no one cares.

I mean, I don't know what to say.

What is Carlito's way?

Maybe the way to San Jose or Bayamon.

I'm not exactly sure.

I want Carlito.

Give me Carlito at Escobar.

What the fuck is this Dragon Dragon Lee bullshit?

God damn it.

I have to say, Dragon Lee is good.

I've seen him do good stuff before he got to WWE.

He doesn't stand out at all in WWE.

The mask, the ring gear.

You know, I'm usually not too picky on this kind of stuff with the Luchadors, but he doesn't stand out.

He seems more generic than most, I think, there.

And it's overdone.

That's why I can't keep track of who's on the other channel unless you have a goddamn...

They don't identify most of the luchadors that just wander into backstage promos, or there's no graphic.

So, you're like, unless you have a mask chart and you've memorized, well, there's Penthouse, there's Felix, there's Commander, there's Gravity, there's Motion Sensor.

So then Aldous and Pierce were together.

And Pierce asks if Aldous intends to sign a raw legend like Randy Orton away from him there that night, and Aldous says yes.

Well, Pierce says, I've got my own contract here,

and I'll be joining you later.

And now they're fighting over signing Randy Orton, not fighting, but arguing, and there's a competition here.

It took 45 seconds, and okay, now I know some more shit's going to go on.

And, you know, in between,

most of these speaking parts, they either have a crummy match or goddamn long entrances or endless self-gratification spots about how great they are on various platforms.

But at least they make the points and you can follow it from one segment to the next.

So then, what'd you think about Logan Paul at the nine o'clock hour?

I think he's great.

Again, this guy,

I'm sure that I would hate him as a person to just hang around with, be around, talk to.

We would have nothing in common and he would probably drive me out of my mind.

But as a natural

pro-wrestling talent, as somebody who gets the fucking not only the verbal part of it, but the psychological part of

you're stirring people up, but how to keep himself over

or important or not to just say ridiculously stupid, out-of-place things, and to have the the kind of matches that he's having,

even where some of his, obviously, he doesn't have the

fluidity of a guy who's done this

day after day, week after week for several years.

He's fucking natural.

And he's another mega star at this point in time.

what's considered a star these days in the wrestling business that they've got you know tied up it's amazing.

And he's the U.S.

champion.

And he said, the more that you people hope I fail, the harder I work.

And I just wrote, he's got all kinds of energy.

He's got the personality.

He's got a gift of bullshit.

He said he's the fastest rising star in WWE history.

And then, of course, he gives us the bad news.

They're having a tournament too.

And, but

do you think they're just doing this because they're like, all right, you fucking moron over there.

If you want to have, we'll show you how to have a tournament.

People will understand and we will make something business-wise out of it.

Do you think that's it or is this complete coincidence?

They should use that.

They should have next week Logan Paul comes out there and goes, here's the tournament.

I've devised a point system.

And then you could have Aldous come out and say, we're not doing a point system, single elimination.

What do you think this is?

Well, he announced the tournament, but I'm not particularly looking forward to it because the people in the tournament to determine his next challenger for the U.S.

title are Escobar,

Dragon Lee,

Carrion Cross.

I forgot he was a thing.

When he said his name, I was like, oh my God, I forgot about him.

And then I couldn't find him in the graphic because I forgot he had the hair.

It took like two different times that I'm showing the graphic for me to find him.

You thought he was the NXT silhouette wearing blackface.

i wasn't sure who he was in there no

and lashley and grayson waller and austin theory and kevin owens i mean i get crosses in there somebody's got to lose whoever from nxt

well i you know well hold on a second

go ahead then jump in Would you use this as a chance to elevate someone from NXT or because it's against Logan Paul as opposed to

like a randy orton someone who knows how to maneuver himself after elections

yes and yes and no that's the no this would not be the place to bring braun breaker up right and

unless then he was going to just mow logan paul down and win the whole goddamn thing i don't think they're going in that direction it looks like see here's the thing dragon lee and carrying cross and somebody from nxt who

may get a break, but that's for people, I would think, to lose in this tournament.

You've got Owens fixed to come out and interact with

these yahoos, Waller and Theory, and Escobar and Dragon Lee.

There's a way, you know,

I think it's probably

just a little, and Lashley.

There's poor Lashley.

We're not going to see Lashley and Logan Paul, I don't think.

So

maybe somebody from NXT

fucking

ends up getting in a program with,

oh my God, this is a mess, actually.

It's got to be Owens.

It's got to be Owens, doesn't it?

Because he just comes out here.

They're telling us what's going to go on.

We're not going to be surprised by this.

Owens versus Logan Paul.

That's interesting.

Well, looky here.

And I don't think they did it just because it was Waller and Owens.

Then they announce a tournament, and then Owens comes out.

His music plays.

And by the way, somebody compare what kevin owens looks like

in 2023 to what he looked like in 2012 he's 11 years older but he's lighter he's trimmed his hair he's trimmed his beard he's cleaned up his gear

everything that he hates me to this day for telling him to do

and threatening to get it put in his contract he'd do it until they couldn't figure out how to write it that he wouldn't do and refused to do and never did, he's done.

My hat's off to you.

But Owens said, You in my ring is a nightmare, an unbearable jackass with a crap drink.

And he vowed to win the tournament and the title.

And they stood there and talked back and forth to each other in WWE style until the music

plays in Waller and Theory

come out.

But what I'm thinking is,

Owens is the odd guy in here besides Lashley.

and I don't think that Lashley is going to, we're going to see him against Logan Paul.

That Escobar and Dragon Lee are in a program.

Waller and Theory are in a tag team, unfortunately, thing.

And maybe Cross and the NXT guy that gets NXT guy a win, whatever.

But it seems like it's Owens from the candidates.

And for the U.S.

title, at least Owens has some stature in the community.

But nevertheless,

Waller and Theory come out, and they're as good as Waller

dressed in that lime green LeMay bullshit.

And Theory's got it.

Has anybody sunk faster than Theory?

The one bad thing about Vince McMahon being banished to billionaire land off of creative is poor Theory

just looks like a sap now alongside King Sap.

They say that they like them together as a team, that actually they

it was a temporary thing and now WWE is happy with how they are interacting with each other and getting over or doing things with each other, I guess.

Oh, good lord.

Well, then that means we're doomed.

We'll never see Theory in a serious light again.

And Owens punched Theory and knocked him out of the ring with one punch, and Waller went to get him.

They beat Theory in all the matches.

They knock him out.

Waller gets all the interview time.

And

Owens and Logan Paul stared at each other after the the other

after the two heels had been dispatched by one punch from Kevin Owens, and he turned his back on him while he was still at ringside and stared at Logan Paul.

And he went to the break, and then we come back with Waller and Owens in a match.

But

it's got to be Owens and Logan Paul.

I think they're telling us.

Shouldn't we believe them?

I mean, you would think so, unless NXT is used, that NXT

blind spot is used to do something, but would you.

The silhouette.

Actually, no,

they've been hiding this guy, but they've been training him in secret.

He dresses in all black with no eye holes in the mask, and they call him silhouette.

If you were going to bring up a bronze breaker and do something to get him on the main roster, would you do it this time of year?

Would you do it December?

Well, no, but I wouldn't also do it in a tournament, as you said, to wrestle a guy who is a big star, but is not an experienced professional.

And I think that it would,

I don't just think they'd bring Braun Breaker in blind after he's been on NXT television for that long and people have seen him.

I don't think they'd bring him in in a tournament and say, well, here he is.

Well, they have bigger plans for him whenever they decide to do it, I would imagine.

But Waller and Owens, there was one good line from

one of the announcers who said Owens was inspiring, and Logan Paul said Owens inspires him to go to McDonald's.

But anyway, the finish of this thing, because I'm not going to watch Grayson Waller work,

is that he stuck Owens's hand in between the turnbuckle and the turnbuckle pad

and then left it there to back up like Owens couldn't pull it out.

And Owens is keeping it in there.

And then when Grayson Waller goes to kick the pad with the hand in it, Owens pulls it out like he's fucking pulling his Excalibur out of the fucking stone

and schoolboys him one, two, three, and rolls out.

And that was the resolution of that match.

I ain't kidding.

So that's why I'm saying star power is what we're selling here, folks.

And speaking of which, then they had the package on the

most sexual moment.

I'm sorry, checking my notes here.

The most social moment in WWE history was the return of CM Punk.

We got to start calling him the Rainmaker, don't we, Brian?

Was it the most sexual moment for you?

You're trying to say something?

Well, like Mussolini!

Oh, my God, what happened there?

Uh-huh.

Someone grabbing your crotch?

Oh, boy.

Don't squeeze too hard.

Is it you?

No.

Oh.

It's

my special crotch Grabola 3000 machine.

Yeah, I didn't even go with who then.

If it's not

who?

CM Punk is the Rainmaker because 95 million views, they say, across all social media platforms.

As a matter of fact, obviously, as we talked about last week, we trended on YouTube with our comments on him returning.

And,

you know, at this point,

you can't really say that even Roman Reigns or even Cody Rhodes or even Brock Lester or whoever, nobody else in wrestling gets as many people talking and or talking as excitedly or vehemently or opinionatedly as CM Punk does.

Do they?

Every news outlet covered this and not just

the ones that you would think have resorted to going for clicks these days, as we found out, like Sports Illustrated, but I mean, fucking networks.

And for anyone who wanted to argue if he was or wasn't the biggest star in AEW, there isn't anyone in AEW now or up to this date, you know, anyone who's been there and left who could have gotten this kind of reaction.

They couldn't get elected dog catcher next to this.

And again, not only real news outlets, but real reporters covered this, not the crumb or the scrum crumbs that Tony has,

you know, that's paid guests practically.

So, and they did a package, and it makes it look big.

And then a recap package of the raw promo, which came off better in package form with B-roll, because he made the points.

He made a lot of points.

And we didn't say there was anything wrong with what he said.

We just wanted more or something more, a more dramatic announcement.

But at the same time, when you look at this package, he's got a high bar

to live up to

with

the promos that he's dropped in the past that have shocked people.

So, because a lot of times, you know, we forget

you can't shock somebody every week unless they're a mental patient in the 50s.

And then, but any comments on the packages there?

No, I think they're doing a good job of promoting how big Punk's appearance was without saying how he said nothing on Monday.

And now he'll be here next week on SmackDown to say nothing or

maybe give a little bit, and then you could tune in two weeks later on Raw.

Is he going to be on Raw this week, or is he just on SmackDown?

Well, we don't know, do we?

Well, you would think they would announce it.

WWE usually announces that kind of thing, but they didn't announce he was going to be at Survivor Series as a we're paying attention, right?

But for the people now, it's like shit, punk's back.

I get a lot of people in the old days, especially

of

wrestling and the casual viewer to that still a deal to them.

They don't know which side or which roster somebody is on or the difference in the program.

I've heard it a million times.

Oh,

you're on WWF.

You're on WCW.

They just recognize the company.

So people will be tuning in thinking they're going to see some of these people when they hear about it.

It's not a regular thing every week where people might tune in to Raw to see somebody that's that's not on Raw.

But when punk gets this kind of attention in mainstream news outlets, somebody that hadn't watched a wrestling show in five years may say, oh, shit,

I'll watch Raw Monday night and see what's going on.

You don't know.

So they'll pick a little something up on everything.

And then around 10:45, they say, you know, I think I've seen enough of Raw.

This guy's never going to be on here.

Yeah, well, there you go.

Then speaking of never being on, good Lord, Bianca versus Carrie Sane happened, and Carrie Sane was dressed like a pirate and holding a disembodied ship's wheel.

It wasn't connected to anything.

It was just

the wheel.

It looked like she had just wrecked the minnow.

So they had that.

And then we get to the main event of the evening.

Aldous and Pierce in the ring.

They're both going to try to sign

Randy Orton.

And Aldous said as your general manager of SmackDown, and he introduces Orton.

And when Randy comes out, have you noticed he's starting to look like those classic pictures of his grandfather?

And I'm not saying Randy Orton looks like his grandfather in a bad way.

When his grandfather was young, Bob Orton, because remember, Bob Orton Jr.

was taller, thinner, lankier.

No, but they all have the same face.

They all have that Orton face.

Well, but also Bob Orton Jr.

had curly hair and long, floppy curly hair for much of his career, and that's how you picture him.

Whereas Randy

not only has the Orton face, but is

wider.

Because remember, Bob Orton Sr.

had a big upper body, and he looked like, you know, when they did those classic early 60s pictures, he posed like Johnny Valentine or Buddy Rogers and had the good lighting and the blonde hair.

Well, Randy has that.

I mean, he's jacked.

He looks like the big O Bob Orton Sr.

But he got a big ovation and screams and chants and blah, blah, blah.

And

Aldous and Pierce start arguing and pitching their shows.

They both got the clipboard with the contracts.

One says Raw and one says SmackDown.

And Adam Pierce wrote off, I will get you a title shot with Seth Rollins for the world title if you sign this contract.

And Aldous counters that with, I will give you the guys that took you out the bloodline if you sign this contract.

and just then paul comes out heyman and he takes over the show as he usually does and not in a bad way again it's just he's so good

and

well randy orton's back looking for revenge well there's going to be no rkos handed out tonight and no decision made by randy orton

because the bloodline is going to make your decision for you and he's all about get them boys and here comes solo and Jimmy out.

Now, again,

you know, I'm thinking

it's the perfect time

for this to happen, just like it was in the girls' promo when he got interrupted.

But these guys,

they make it look more like the shit is actually transpiring in the moment.

Do you see what I'm trying to say, Brian?

I do.

They have more experience.

There's a little more bad.

But anyway, here comes Solo and Jimmy.

And Orton fights back, but they outnumber him.

But then L.A.

Knight's music hits.

And L.A.

Knight hits the ring and makes a comeback.

And now, every time he hits somebody on a comeback, the people are yelling, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they love doing that.

So they're probably going to keep on doing it.

And LA and Solo fight off through or down the entranceway to the back, and Orton hits

the draping DDT on Jimmy, and the fans go crazy calling for an RKO because that's what they want.

They want to hear punk talk.

They want to see Randy RKO people.

And as the fans are chanting Randy, Randy,

boom, he hits it and Heyman's upset and Orton takes both contracts and Paul's going, go to Raw.

Go to Raw and you'll be safe.

And Orton pitches the Raw contract over his shoulder and signs the SmackDown contract.

I believe he should have probably held

the contract up a little bit better for people to see which one he pitched, but Pierce did a good job of selling it on the floor.

That's what I was going to say.

Pierce is the one who got that over because otherwise it's just a folder in the air.

Yeah.

And it was spinning and probably, you know, he could have put somebody's eye out with it.

Call Stephen P.

New.

But anyway, signed the SmackDown contract.

And then he told Paul E, call Roman

and tell him daddy's back.

Oh,

and Paul storms off in a huff, and Aldous raises Orton's hand, and the music is playing.

And then

Orton jumps up and RKO's Nick Aldous.

Boom.

So we got that going on, too, because

you couldn't trust the rattlesnake.

Apparently, you can't trust the viper either.

Little, little

Aldous Orton McMahon-Austin dynamic going on here.

Do you think they should have done that?

Yes, I love it.

Because Aldous,

here's the thing.

I'm not saying that Aldous and Pierce need to get in the rig and settle their differences in the next couple of months.

That's an ongoing thing.

But Aldous is obviously an ex-wrestler and a pretty decent-sized human being.

He shouldn't be paralyzed by one RKO.

And this establishes the same thing they were doing with Austin and McMahon.

Orton's going to be anti-authority, even if this authority is a little more posh, but he's still a little heelish.

And I think he can take a bump like that.

And now he's going to begrudgingly, he's just signed Orton, but now he's going to secretly want to get even with him.

And he's going to have to temper that with what's best for business.

But all this, at least, you can understand this shit, and it means something.

It doesn't get lost.

There's plenty of time to dwell on it in the middle of these goddamn rotten matches on this show.

But that was SmackDown.

And Randy Orton is now on SmackDown.

And he is signed, sealed, and delivered.

But I bet, you know, Adam Pierce, could Pierce get goddamn punk as a result of this?

Could he go on a bidding frenzy?

You don't know what's going to happen, but it's all stars.

Are they about to repeat the same thing?

If Punk's going to be on SmackDown, we'll once again Pierce show up and they'll both try to sign him and then Punk goes the raw and it evens things out.

Well, but maybe Punk don't want to go anywhere because maybe Punk says,

I'm back.

I didn't say I was,

you know, going to fucking limit myself.

Maybe he's a free agent.

He's not necessarily, you know, wanting to play ball with anybody.

Who knows?

We got to wait and find out.

Do we have to wait and find out when this program's over with?

Oh, I thought we already knew the answer to that.

We certainly do, folks.

Come back for more on the drive-thru and next week here on the experience.

And Christmas is coming, so we're going to be on the bus.

We'll have more on that soon.

Until then, thank you, fuck you, and bye-bye, everybody.