DIVORCE LIKE A BOSS WITH DIANA ROMANOV

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Diana Romanov, welcome to Canada Louis. Such an honor having you here.
Thank you for having me. Thank you.
Thank you. You're such a kick-ass divorce attorney.

And obviously, it's unfortunate to say that so many people need the help of divorce attorneys. But hey, if they do, they might as well fall in the right hands, right, Diana? That's right.

That's right.

I have so many questions, so let's rock and roll and get started because I want to try to pack in as much information as possible. I'm going to start with a really tough one, okay?

And I just you can be as honest as you can.

Do you think the court system in general is fair to women when it comes to divorce? And I will explain to you why I'm asking this question.

Oh,

well,

I view a court system case by case.

So I practice in the Bay Area, california and i study the judge if i have a feeling that i'm representing a woman and a judge has a history of certain situations where the the judge is not treating

women correctly then i file a so-called 170.6

motion and it goes also for man

and and then I disqualified this judge from the get-go.

I had to do it only a couple times.

I had a situation where in COVID, the judge,

there was a situation where we were in trial. I

got,

I was representing a woman, I got Montessori school for the child, and

the father said, I don't want to enroll the child into Montessori anymore. And so we had to file an ex-party after an ex parte to get the child into Montessori.

And eventually, we, of course, got the ex parte granted because we went to trial on this topic and we won in COVID. And so then we filed for sanctions in the same court, but another judge was there.

And the judge not only did not give us sanctions, he reversed the ruling that we already went to trial on and spent so much time and money.

And then when I said you can't do that, we went to trial on this.

And father used the same argument he used in trial i live with my mother in the house and i don't want the child to go to montessori because she could be exposed to covet uh-huh

so that argument didn't go well and

the judge hang up on us so he said i'm done with you and he hang up i reported this judge and ever since i was disqualifying this judge under 170.6 I am so happy you're bringing this up and now you're going to understand why.

I literally, and i get messages from women all over the world by the way not just united states that they're getting trashed in court i literally have two friends here in los angeles right now going through divorce one of them has been trying to get divorced for five years she was on the show a few weeks ago and the judge for and i don't think all Every attorney knows what you just mentioned, that you can't disqualify a judge.

And I'll tell you why, because in my friend's case, she's trying to get divorced from her husband for five years. She's not a millionaire, by the way, guys.
She's a social worker on a salary.

And the judge gave this man

her entire house. It's the first time in the history of California that a spouse receives like 100% of this Epstein credit.
I think it's called. It's unheard of.

And they did not let her talk in court.

Her attorney didn't help her. She's like losing her home.
She's losing everything. And this dude comes from a rich family.
He is in perfect age to work. He keeps claiming that he's disabled.

And my friend is getting destroyed in court. So maybe, is this the problem of not being with the right attorney, Diana?

Sometimes I do get clients, and I tend to be careful when I'm attorney number four.

But there were cases where I

accepted a client

where the first attorney didn't represent. Well, usually it happens when a client is very desperate to find an attorney within 24 hours.

And then the first attorney who picks up offers a flat rate in family cases. I would avoid flat rates.

Because what happens is once the attorney receives the money, they do some work, but there is no more human incentive to go and fight for three years if the ex turns out to be very difficult to deal with.

So then she goes, or he goes to attorney number two.

Attorney number two is trying to recover all the mess that has happened. And then attorney number three, and then by the time I'm in the case,

everything already happened.

And so what I notice sometimes, well, we need to hire a forensic accountant from the first day of separation so someone can do proper post-separation accounting for Epstein credit, for Watts credit, for all kinds of credits.

Yeah. So-called post-separation accounting, reimbursement claims.

And then what's with this? So I basically treat that kind of case as if I am the first attorney.

So let me ask you a question because obviously not every woman can afford a kick-ass attorney, such as yourself, right? A lot, like, for example, my friend, she's a social worker for 25 years.

I don't even know how she's handling it. Any suggestions for those who cannot pay?

Like, obviously, if you fall in the right hands, if they fall in your hands, much more likely that everything is going to be resolved in a proper manner. But a lot of women are not able to do that.

Any tips for those women, probably listening right now, that are like, oh my God, what am I going to do?

It's a tough question.

Sake, if you want to go to war, you have to have the bullets. And if you don't have the bullets, then you got to study.

So, what, and that's what I did. I realized not all people are able to afford my services.
And so, I wrote a book.

Okay, guys, listen up because I agree. The more information you have, I love that divorce like a boss.
Where is the book available, Diana?

Amazon. Everywhere.
Amazon. In four formats.
And also, I have a YouTube channel with over 500 videos. So basically, when I, what happened is I got clients asking me the same type of questions.

What if I'm not a prevailing party in domestic violence? Do I need to pay the fees? What if I am prevailing party? What about custody? What about spousal support?

I created a video, 17-minute long video about spousal support.

Instead of paying half an hour consultation about explain to me California law on spouse. So it attracts different types of people with visual or some people like to read, some people like to listen.

So obviously your audience likes to listen. So that's why I started.
YouTube explaining everything.

And then once they listen and study everything, and then there are questions remaining, what I suggest is to schedule half an hour to an hour, which is manageable, right?

It's not a whole retainer and strategize.

I had a client who did everything herself, motion to compel, spousal, and she would book from time to time, and we would go on a recorded line on Zoom and correct her filings.

And then she would file and she would be reporting to me how successful she was. Wow, I love that idea.
That's like very, very, very good practical ideas.

I'm putting the link of your YouTube channel here on this episode for you guys that are listening to the audio episode and people that are watching the video here on YouTube.

Your YouTube channel is here. I think the more educated we are, right, the better we can protect ourselves.

But I kind of agree with you, like from the get-go, a lot of people go to cheap attorneys in the beginning because they're like, oh, I'm going to save money, la la la.

But I think the cheap may end up being expensive in the long run because, like you you said usually these attorneys that don't have a lot of experience that are going to charge a flat fee they're not going to fight for you they're not they don't have skin in the game so they're not going to help as much as a more seasoned professional attorney would so I love that you said that yes that's that's that's working and I have constantly ongoing clients on consultation basis to strategize and to correct course

Yeah, that's fabulous. Now, I want to ask something else and you can give me your personal opinion.
How about, because I see that a lot, same thing, one of my girlfriends is getting divorced here.

Her husband is a very healthy 59-year-old dude, and he's telling the judge, I cannot work. She needs to pay for everything.

A really famous case now in the media, you must have seen Denise Richards and her husband.

total loser douchebag like oh i cannot work i'm gonna go homeless i mean these are grown-ass healthy men on my friend's case by the way Diana, he rides motorcycles.

Like, we literally see he bought everything with her money, of course. He's like riding motorcycles every Sunday.

We literally filmed him, filmed him, and I said, Show the judge, tell your attorney to show the judge these videos that this pardon, my French asshole

is saying that you have to pay all his bills, you have to pay support because he's disabled and he's out and about enjoying life.

And her attorney was like, oh, no, it's not the right time to show the judge. And I was like,

why are these men getting away with this?

I want your inputs on that.

You know, I just settled a case that was going on very similar to this one. I received, well, a phone call about four years ago from a woman whose lawyer died.

And I was like, okay, well, I can take on this case. And so,

similar, he was on disability,

living in her house with a child,

and driving Maserati

on disability. Yeah, it's like my friend's husband.
He has motorcycles, cars, la la la la la.

And guitars. He had 40 guitars.
And he wasn't working. So he was receiving his disability.
And then

eventually,

I couldn't,

I was telling my client, we need to do something about it. And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so we hired an accountant, we calculated everything to divorce for divorce purposes, dividing assets and debts and post-separation accounting.

They were married for seven years and she was supporting him already for seven years. Wow.
So I was like, you need to stop. So basically, the first thing first, I told her, you created a monster.

You need to get on it. So the most difficult part was.
to get her on board. And then once I got her on board, we filed a motion to terminate spousal support.

That's it.

If the marriage is long-term, let's say if it's over 10 years, the court might say, Well, I don't have jurisdiction or I don't have the authority to terminate it because the divorce is ongoing.

But then I would hire a vocational evaluator who would evaluate this man to see what's going on, potentially even independent medical evaluator to see if his disability

while driving is legitimate and attack credibility. Credibility is everything in family court.
Yeah, so

yeah, so let me ask you a question.

Like, let's say in this case, right, my friend, her husband is like riding these fancy motorcycles around, and he's telling the judge, I cannot work, I hurt my back, I'm disabled.

Shouldn't her attorney present this evidence, like you said you did for your client? Why would an attorney tell their client, like, oh no, let's not show this this to the judge yet?

She's thinking.

I don't think

I would need to know more.

There is potentially some strategy, but it could be that some attorneys don't like confrontation. They would like to settle.
And that's a legitimate cost concern.

If you start putting things out, then it becomes very, very high contentious and litigate. It becomes a trial because then he says, Well, are you saying I'm not legitimately? Let's bring it on.

And then the client would be willing, would have to be willing to pay for evaluation, vacation evaluator, medical evaluator. So it adds up very quickly.

And potentially, the lawyer, knowing that, is holding back. But I cannot speculate.

You know, I need to speak to the attorney or the client to see what they're thinking behind it's just so painful when i see hard-working women marry these dudes like you said your client like my friends even like when i see denise richards i mean she's an actor she's doing her affairs and everything and then this guy's like oh i should be getting paid because she gets paid Guys, I never thought I would say this, but this Black Friday, instead of buying more stuff I don't need, I decided to invest in my sex life instead.

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Any tips how women can avoid ending up being these situations? Like, what should you do?

The red flag starts from the beginning. You know?

Yeah.

I actually wrote my second book, How to Detect Red Flags

and Be Married Happily. So sometimes I have phone calls saying, he's not working for 20 years and now he wants spousal support.
I'm like, why didn't you divorce him after year number one?

I know.

Well, I guess I would say,

don't marry a dude that doesn't have a job, right? Don't put a guy in your house that doesn't do anything. You know, he might have a job.

at the beginning and then as soon as he think he as he thinks he got her he will he will slowly you know lose the job and convince her why he's use useful in the household yeah whatever he does so i i would watch out for that yeah so let's say now it's interesting you mentioned something like somebody move in

because i get these questions a lot on kind of those and i don't know how to answer Let's say the person, the couple is non-married, right?

You meet someone, you really like them, you're like, okay, move in.

Is there any legal grounds for that? Like, let's say somebody's living with you for one year, two years, five years.

So, a two-part question: Is there any legal grounds when you just move in someone in your home? And I guess that would be a yes, right?

Does the length of how long they've been living with you in your home counts?

I gotta be careful because my area of expertise starts with either when they're trying to get married with a prenup, or when they got married and want to get divorced. Okay.

So, this is the type of you know, kind of limbo

tenant situation. Someone moves in, doesn't pay rent, or pays rent.
I think this is more of a different area of law. But no, but I mean, so no, I'm talking about if they get separated

and they're not legally married, is there any weight in the judicial system, the court system? Like, oh, we were living together, we were practically married, but we were not married on paper.

Common law marriage. Yeah, is there such a thing? There was one case, one case, 1971 Marvin case,

where a wife was married for many, many years. They had three kids and they acted like sorry, they were not married.
And they acted like husband and wife. And he told her, she worked for his business.

Don't worry, darling. I will take care of you.
I will, you know. And then when

they separated, suddenly she got nothing. And so

this was a unicorn case

that said, okay, well,

we're going to act as if.

And so she got spousal support and she got division of assets, although they were not married. There are only few cases.

I personally know so many lawyers and I don't know a single lawyer who

specializes on Marvin case except couple in the whole California because there are such unicorn cases. Oh, really?

So, let's say somebody moves in their girlfriend into their house, they're living together for three years, the girlfriend doesn't work, like it happens a lot around here, I lay everly hills, and she moves out.

Can she go to court and say, hey, he should pay my bills and everything because I was living with him, or that doesn't hold weight in court? Marvin case has specific parameters, such as oral promises.

And if she can prove that he said, you know, I will take care of you. And they were acting like husband and wife, not like girlfriend.
Yeah, that's that's that's Marvin case potentially.

So I would consult a specialist on Marvin cases.

Okay, got you. Now, since you mentioned pre-nubs, let's talk about that because I think it's really, really important.

When I got married a long time ago, I dated my husband for six years because I didn't want to get married.

He was really wealthy. I made my own money, but nowhere near as much as he did.
And he wanted to get married. So I'm like, okay, whatever.

And he said, let's sign a prenup. And I was completely on board.
I agree. I personally, and you tell me if you're growing up, I think marriage is a contract with a lot of legal ramifications.

So I said, yes, absolutely. Let's sign a prenup.
But I know there are so many women that get offended. Like if the guy's like, let's sign up, they're like, oh my God.

What's your take on it? Should everybody sign a prenup or when should you sign a prenup? And what would you say to women that get personally offended by a prenup?

Well, when people are already divorced, married, and they have assets and children and potentially building businesses and creating debts. That's a wise thing to have a prenup.

Prenup doesn't need to exclude one spouse, one-sided, no spousal support, and I keep all my assets and goodbye. Prenup could be also determining the rights and obligations.

So it's a good starting point for mature adulting and having financial conversations.

So when the honeymoon phase subsides, what would be And after six years, I assume you were pretty sober talking about these things. How would it look like if we were to separate?

And that's that's what prenup is for.

So if somebody comes to you as your client, like, I'm going to get married,

should I do a prenup or not? Do you recommend that everybody does a prenup or it's a case by case? Only really rich people should do a prenup? How do you approach it?

I would say to people who are young and

they would like to determine how the separation would look like because 50%

do get separated and divorced unfortunately statistically. I would ask them what their plans are, how would they like.
Some people say, you know, we want 50-50 and whatever is the law.

But my parents have inheritance

and they told me I need to have a prenup. So then the prenup would cement California law, potentially modify something about spousal support.

Maybe if they're married for 10 years or more, it will not be spousal support forever, but limit it at 10 years.

If the salesperson support could be 35% of net disposable to the lower earning spouse, we can limit it to 20%.

Things like that, and most importantly, inheritance. Inheritance, according to California law, is separate property, but it gets commingled.

So even though there is a prenup, I would also tell the client, please keep everything separate so that when you get the inheritance, keep in separate account, trace everything, because with the prenup, the same principle apply, the do not commingle.

And if you do, you have to do the tracing. Tracing means you have to have bank statement for all the 20 years prior to

marriage plus marriage. for all consecutive months

so that nobody can say you spent that on in this month or

was it community on that month. So it has to be very consecutive.
I see.

So if some woman out there is listening and she's engaged to be married and she feels offended by the guy asking her to sign a printup, what would you say to that?

Is it a deal breaker or?

If I,

depending who I would be talking to, to a woman or a man, if I were representing women, I would ask her what exactly is she offended about

because the prenup could say that because some men are, for example, wealthy, but they don't work.

So even without the prenup, she gets nothing because his separate property, let's say he has, you know, $100 million and $100 million make money. And so he lives off that money.
Yeah.

That's separate property making separate properties. Like apple tree, apples, separate property.
So then we could say

percentage of his separate property with every, even if it's half a percent every year, capped at 20%,

would be hers.

Okay. I think they get offended because they say, oh, he doesn't trust me, you know, all these things.
Oh, he thinks I'm marrying him for the money.

I hear that a lot. Like, I get all kinds of messages like that.

Right, but it's only if the prenup says you get nothing.

I would defend the position that she should get something.

Yeah, something, something fair, right? I think a prenup should be. I think she's getting married if

there is no shared

joy and responsibility, right? Yeah.

So, for people that are thinking about getting married, like you said, the divorce rate is very high, like half of all marriages fail, right?

Any tips in terms of planning and getting, I mean, you must have seen it all. Do you have maybe one or two pointers that would increase the chances of a marriage being successful?

Yes.

First of all, talk about everything.

How to raise kids? Do you think the kids should go into private school? What religion? Where would we live? You know, people get infatuated with each other and then get married.

And then I ask, so what did you like about him?

Well, you know, he was handsome. I'm like, what else? Well, he was such a nice guy.
What else? And then I find out there was nothing

other than culturally, maybe same culture,

French or whatever. And then the time is ticking.
And

then it turns out he's drinking, taking drugs, and she stays longer than she should, and then has a kid or a second kid, and then they divorce.

And then she tells, well, he was abusive all these years. And he was like, da-da-da-da.
And then she tells all the, but,

well, why did you stay for

15 years?

So I would say, in terms of planning,

create a questionnaire, 100 questions that are deal breakers

in a relationship.

And then see if the values and interests align. Because if they don't, it's going to be the handsomeness is going to crack at some point.
I think it's very good advice.

I do think and believe a lot of people rush into it.

Like you said, you meet someone and they're like, oh, butterfly.

I have friends that they say, like, oh, I'm madly in love, like within two weeks of dating each other, like two, three weeks of dating each other. Like, I love you, love.

I'm like, that is nowhere near enough time to find out. Like you said, if you really like someone, if you have similarities.
I think you need to pace yourself, right? In getting challenges.

My worst case, domestic violence cases are, well, they met each other and in two months they got married and got a kid.

And then, well, did you know that your spouse actually already had a kid with another marriage and destroyed the other parent with the same domestic violence? uh fake claim yeah

i would study the other person How they treat, you know, when they go to the restaurant, how they do they treat a waiter? How do they drive? Are they aggressive? What, how do they act when they drink?

Do they lose their patience? How do they resolve conflicts? So it's not about the honeymoon phase is easy, but when a first conflict hits, how do they recover from that conflict? Do they apologize?

Do they suggest couple therapy?

Yeah. The repair is also important.

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Because I also see like a lot of cases that women marry a guy and then turns out he was a crook or dishonest with his finances or you know all the chaos.

I saw like a documentary yesterday, really interesting documentary on Amazon Prime about this Hollywood dude. And turned out it was one of the biggest Ponzi schemes in history.

I forgot the name of the documentary. He's in federal prison now for 25 years.
And the girl was clueless because she was so young when she married him.

She had no idea that his multi-million dollar business was a Ponzi scheme. Is there, like, because I know it's a very delicate subject.

Like, if you're dating someone and you say, hey, what about your finances? Is there a delicate or a proper way to get into that subject before marrying someone?

Yes, I would like to see his tax returns.

Really?

All of his bank accounts, current statements.

I mean, it's okay. So it's okay to say, yeah, I'll marry you, but I want to see your tax returns and your finances.
That's what the prenup is. The prenup

to disclose assets and debts and income.

And so part of my process is to send preliminary declaration of disclosure request, which is FL 142 assets and debt form that requires to attach all recent statements and credit card debts.

You know, at one point, I had this client who was marrying this guy and she wanted a prenup because she was wealthy. He was not.

And then at the time when he sent his disclosures, it turned out that he had a lot of debts. She was pissed.
And I'm like, seriously? Now?

Yeah.

Did you the prenup? You're pissed. What about like all the years that you dated him?

What about asking about his debts? I know, that's what I mean, right? But it's such a delicate subject, but I agree with you.

I think it's so important so you don't fall in somebody else's chaos, right?

Yeah.

I mean, it's delicate when, when, when it's none of my business, but the moment I marry this person, it becomes my business because

a third party can also go after wife. Oh, really? Yes.
Oh, wow. I'm so glad.
I'm glad you're mentioning that. Yes.

So it absolutely becomes her business.

oh my god that's very important information that's a third party and even with the prenup that can happen because prenup is between parties it's not it doesn't bind irs so for example they are married they file joint tax returns he

he doesn't he you let's say she doesn't make as much as he does and then irs goes after

audit or underpayment who do you think they will go after oh my gosh her too

wow i'm so glad you brought this up because this is super that's why i say you've got to educate yourself before just going crazy and getting married or eloping in las vegas

now before we run out of time two more quick questions we always talk about guys like millionaires right oh i want you to sign up prenup i want you to sign up pre-nop but obviously i have a huge uh female audience so let's ask this question let's say somebody like me i'm not a millionaire

i work really hard but i own my business You know, I do my show, la la la. Let's say I decide to get married again.

Like a lot of women, like me, they're entrepreneurs, they're business women, they work so hard.

Should we be asking the guy, like, yeah, I'm sorry, I really love you and everything, but I deserve to have a prenup to protect myself?

Or is it like, no, you don't have enough, or should everybody ask for that? First of all, I would not apologize.

Say, I'm sorry. I love you.

Don't say I'm sorry.

I would say

getting married is also getting into a business partnership.

And that requires full disclosure. Here is my full disclosure.
And I would like to see your full disclosure.

And then let's talk about... planning together.
How do you see? And sometimes the conversation is going to be who is going to pay how much for bills. I had people who created a spreadsheet

proportionate to their income contributing to joint account. So they went to town about that type of stuff.
But that's not what prenup is for, explain to them.

The prenup is for the case of divorce, not death, not marriage, divorce.

Well, do not include clause about cheating because it's against public policy. Do not include clause about unborn children when they're going to live.

But I would definitely be very open, unapologetic about the fact that we need to talk about money. I love that, ladies.
Listen, I agree.

You have to be empowered, you have to protect your hard work, you have to protect your assets. And of course, when we meet someone and we get married, we hope it's a fairy tale forever, right?

But unfortunately, half of the time, it's not.

One more quick question, Diana, because you mentioned something. You said after,

is it after 10 years that the law considers a marriage long-term marriage? From the date of marriage until the date of separation, and the date of separation is determined by two factors.

A, one spouse says we're divorcing, our relationship is over, and second factor, that spouse acting accordingly. So

no sex, no going on vacation, no holding hands, no acting like husband and wife, wife and wife, husband and husband, basically separated. Okay.

So if from that point on, marriage separation, more than 10 years, the court says long-term marriage, which means that the court doesn't have necessarily jurisdiction or the court could terminate marriage, spousal support sooner than retire, age of retirement, death.

of either party. But

after 10 years, I notice people starting to get,

well, the 10-year mark makes it easier to realize, okay, this is long-term marriage, divorce. A lot of clients come in right before the 10-year mark.

Yes, because after 10 years, supposedly you're going to pay more, correct? If you get divorced,

for longer, for longer, meaning

when the marriage is shorter, then it's usually half of the length of the marriage in spousal support.

So eight-year marriage would be four-year spousal support, but 10-year marriage doesn't have that cap.

Okay, got you. Thank you so much.
So, I guess the message is: if you are thinking about getting married, educate yourself as much as you can and read your books.

I'm definitely getting your books on Amazon right now because I love educating myself. I love it.
I was watching her videos on YouTube last night, by the way, and you're fantastic.

Thank you for doing that because, ladies and gentlemen listening, like she said, it's free advice. So, if you think of information,

yeah, sorry, free information, tons of free information. So, if you think you don't want to pay or you cannot afford a fantastic alternative such as Diana, log into her YouTube channel.

The link is right here on this episode. But if you're listening to the

Kindle.

Audiobook. So, whoever listens and likes to listen.
Let's go. I'm putting all your links here.
So, you guys go get educated. I hope everybody lives happily ever after.

But if you do end up being divorced, like my friends, you don't want to be in trouble. Diana, thank you so much.
It was such an honor having you. Many kisses.

And I wish you a wonderful holiday season. And I'm sure I'm going to get hundreds of questions.
And I'll invite you back next season to

come help us out again.

Guys, be safe out there. And I'll see you very soon.
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