Episode 637: Heinrich Himmler Part I - Nazi Number Two

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There's no place to escape to this is the last podcast.

On the left.

That's when the cannibalism started.

I was listening to lots of Bavarian music.

Oh, yeah.

No,

I got to say, I don't like it.

No, it's not good.

I want to, you know, it's like, I like most genres of music.

The Bavarian music is

stupid.

It is.

It's like silly.

It is.

It's silly.

Bavaria used to be its own silly little place where Bierstein used to be president.

But then that Bierstein began to be filled to the very brim with hate.

Can you imagine being like a guy at this time period and being like, ooh, I want to be Hitler?

Yeah.

Like you think about Hitler as like, oh, what a dashing young man.

They always say this stuff about him, about how he was dashing.

Charismatic.

And then you see all the videos of him.

Like I've been obviously up to my hairline and the stuff.

But it's like, you just forget Hitler was like a wall-eyed monster man.

Kind of like, they always talk about the charisma of Hitler.

And then whenever he's around kids, it reminds me of a certain someone where he's just like, he's got these big, huge eyes.

It looks like Marty Feldman.

Yeah.

Yes.

He's got crazy, like, he looks like,

he's frightening.

Yeah, well, it's, it's Hitler.

Yeah, I know, but I'm still saying, it's like, was if you go re-look at it again, like objectively.

You look, look, and you realize, like, oh, he also has those crazy, like, eyeballs.

Yeah.

Well, those crazy eyeballs.

Captured the heart of a nation.

Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen.

My name is Marcus Parks, and I'm here with Henry Zabrowski.

How you feeling, Henry?

I've never been more 41 years old.

And I can't wait for our audience to get ready to be 41 years old because this fucking series is for the motherfucking dudes.

It is for those who are 41 years old, who want to be a 41-year-old man.

If you want to be one, I was explaining to my therapist this morning, he just had a child.

Time for him to slap on the old horse feed bag of World War II content because it is coming for you by the train load.

I feel like this is the series we could say anything about our wives and not get caught.

Yeah, boys.

Anyway, my wife is extraordinarily supportive of my World War II love.

It's she knows when I'm down and I'm like, I kind of need something to relax.

She's like, Do you want to put on your Nazi show?

Do you want to put on your Nazi show and maybe relax a little?

And once again, the beaches were filled with action.

You're just like, you just smiling, like, smiling, drifting off to sleep.

But dude,

this is our AE history channel, cramming your fucking asshole, jam-packed, filled with Himmler.

So happy about this.

Yes.

And of course, we also have, okay, I'm happy just to...

I'm happy to go.

Cram-jammed with Hitler.

All right.

It's just...

There I was talking to my guy this morning, and I was saying, like, there's a few things in life that, like, I'm always going to be interested in, and I'm going to read and watch everything about it no matter matter what.

It's Nazis, Manson Family, Jonestown, and Hurricane Katrina.

So, I'm

9-11 too.

Are you a fan of 9-11?

I will watch everything about 9-11.

Yes, I will.

And we have the man who knows me very well, Ed Larson.

How are you doing, Ed?

Edvon!

And my name is Edvard!

I like it.

Edvard, I understand.

I understand.

Yeah, yeah.

I did explain.

I did explain to my therapist a little bit about how we were running into this, and I was trying to explain to him.

I was like, I feel this sort of like,

it's like a not happy.

It's like the opposite of happy.

It's like a bad feeling, but I don't know what the feeling is.

And I've been reading all this material, and my therapist was like, so you've been reading about Nazis for 36 days or whatever, and you're feeling sad.

I was like, no,

absolutely not.

Well, today's series is the first of four profiles on some of the most evil men in the history of the world.

Yes!

A little something that we're calling the Mount Rushmore of Evils.

Evil!

Demon!

Evil!

Now, before we get started, I want to say that Mount Rushmore itself is evil.

Yes, it was carved into a mountain in the Black Hills, which was supposed to be land given to the Lakota and Sioux people.

It was then taken back to carve these faces of the very men who helped commit the genocide of their people into what is supposed to be the land given to them after the other land was violently taken away.

Hey, we have a right to take back the land that we took in the first place.

That's right.

It was carved by father and son Team Gutson and Lincoln Borglum, who carved the mountain.

Gutson Borglum also helped begin the carving of Stone Mountain, which is a tribute to Confederate generals, complete with an altar to the KKK.

Hey, listen, he was there.

He was just a hired hand.

He just loves rocks.

I could do an entire episode on this, but I think it's important to mention that the Nazis were known to be inspired by America's genocide of the indigenous people, thus starting the Holocaust.

I'm sorry, Marcus, please continue.

100%.

And we're going to be getting into that later on because, you know, why the Nazis were so inspired by our conquest of the West is because Hitler loved cowboy novels as a kid.

He absolutely loved cowboy novels.

It's like, wow, there's some really great ideas in here.

God, seeing Himmler and some chaps with a a big old hat, nothing would make me happier to see a corpse in the dust.

You said chaps.

Thanks.

Okay, good.

Now, these men.

And yes, it's going to be all men for the Mount Rushmore of Evil because we couldn't think of a single woman to compare to these four.

Hey, we might.

The fourth is still up.

Who knows?

Ladies, you still got a shot.

My step-grandmother, Baba, was a cut.

Yeah.

And Judy was a bitch as well.

I'll tell you that much.

Do you remember that fucking bitch, Barbara Bush?

Who knows?

Completely shaven.

Barbara Ninebush.

Well, these four men are all despicable in their own respect.

These are men who perverted entire institutions and, in some cases, entire countries to fulfill their own sick needs, desires, and beliefs.

These are the worst of the worst.

The ones who used and abused power in ways that caused untold damage on humanity, both physical and psychic.

But the first head to go up on the Mount Rushmore of evil just may be the worst we have to offer.

Who knows?

See, we figured it would be appropriate to kick off this event with a Nazi.

Because who's more objectively evil than Nazis?

He asked as some dickhead began writing a comment on our Instagram page about how the Nazis actually really weren't that bad.

Buddy, it's all over the place.

I was watching a really interesting documentary about the Thule organization, and I have so many people writing underneath it being like, no one was going to talk, no one's going to talk about the Jewish secret societies.

And you're like, guys, I think we might not be learning a lesson.

Now, the obvious choice would be Hitler.

But personally, I don't think that you really learn about the Nazis by focusing on Hitler specifically, because studying Hitler is more about studying a cult of personality.

And Hitler, it's still such a mystery anyway, that he almost becomes a little dull after a while.

It's all of the like reports about him are both like, they don't make sense.

Nothing adds up.

No one's wildly contradictory.

And everyone's got a different pet opinion on Hitler.

You can't pin him down.

He's the most written about man since Jesus Christo.

Yeah.

So it's one of those, and everybody's got something to say.

So exactly.

It's like we're just because Hitler wasn't even necessarily even about the Nazis.

Hitler was all about Hitler.

Yeah.

He wants it too much.

Well, I think if you truly want to understand Nazis, Nazism, and the true evil behind the whole movement, the person you've got to study is Hitler's number two guy, Heinrich Lutpold Himmler.

Yeah, number two man.

Doo-doo man.

He's

Chucky Doo-Doo.

You look like it.

Yeah, he's bad.

He's ugly.

He makes Hitler look handsome.

I would also say we are aware that there was a Behind the Bastards series that happened, I guess, vaguely recently, but also we've been working on this too long to stop the fucking like the trucks.

We're doing this.

We've been preparing for this series for almost a year.

We'll get into it later, but yeah, we had planned this Himmler series for right now, and we're going to fucking do this right now.

We're going to cover Heinrich Himmler, this man who looks like if a potato was a balloon,

and if that balloon was over-inflated and then tried to be re-inflated.

To be honest, if you get him, if you could get him those badass, like weird Nazi no-rim glasses, Chad Daybell.

Clam me dressed in Hugo Boss.

You know what I'm saying?

He really is the least example of what you want.

I mean, I'm just glad I'm not white.

He's an Easter egg that demanded it stay white.

Don't cut us on me.

If Wrigley's Chu was a man,

don't come at Wrigley's Chu.

Now, out of all the high-ranking Nazis in the Nazi Party, Himmler was by far the one who believed in the philosophy of Nazism most fervently.

See, Himmler was an idealist who truly believed that he was doing something good by orchestrating the murders of tens of millions of people across Europe.

Now, just like any fascist government, there were plenty of people who joined up with the Nazis just because it made them feel powerful, or because they believed they could take advantage of the situation for their own purposes.

But Heinrich Himmler was no naked opportunist in the sense of using the Nazis for personal gain.

He didn't have the guts to be an individual.

No.

While Himmler was a loyal follower of Adolf Hitler until he wasn't, Himmler wasn't necessarily following Hitler like much of Germany did.

Himmler was following the ideas, and it was Himmler who created and oversaw the plans to carry those ideas out.

See, Himmler was the quintessential white person nerd we spoke of in our Nazi occult series so many years ago.

Meaning, the thing that Himmler was obsessed with more than anything was white people, their origins, their history, and their supposed superiority over every other race.

What a beautiful way that he could have explored all the different ways we eat hard-boiled eggs.

There's so many things that he could have done here that he left on the table, like Gherkin culture.

Yeah, we are the most boring-looking people.

I don't know.

Certainly, the ugliest babies there are.

Oh, think about what we offer: tuna fish sandwiches,

big ornate clocks.

Honestly, we do amazing things.

We're really good at like taking things that they made and pretending we made it.

Yeah, great ass.

That's our shit.

Spaghetti.

Well, when you read about or hear some of the more off-the-wall Nazi beliefs about Aryan bloodlines or Atlantis, and you ask, who came up with this shit?

The answer is Heinrich Himmler.

It's me.

Because Himmler was the Nazis' number one guy when it came to the occult.

Basically, Himmler studied every racist, occult, and pseudo-scientific writer he could find, and he cobbled together both the belief system and the wild set of racial purity rules that every Nazi eventually followed.

But just like Hitler himself, Heinrich Himmler was anything but the Aryan ideal.

According to one source, he had, quote, and I love this description, a slack butt, a pigeon chest, a receding chin, and small feminine hands.

You knock that mustache off, or you just take it down a shade.

That's Lena Dunham.

I mean, like, she'd be amazing as him in the movie.

She should try to play him.

Oh, my God.

That's exactly what he deserved.

As one fellow Nazi Party official put it, quote, if I looked like Himmler, I would not talk about race.

And that was a fellow Nazi.

Now, to the point of appearance, one author said that Himmler was considered to be awkward looking for a German.

But his inner world certainly reflected his outward appearance.

For example, Himmler was plagued with constant anxiety, which caused horrific stomach cramps throughout his entire life.

Emotionally, Himmler was effectively dead and approached every social interaction, whether it be romantic or platonic, through the lens of what would be best for the Aryan race and his own personal agenda.

But while Himmler sounds and looks like an absolutely ridiculous figure, he was, at one time, easily the most feared person in all of Europe.

And he would brutally and directly orchestrate the deaths of 20 million people at most and 11 million at the very least.

But incredibly, he did not, as far as we know, ever kill anyone with his own two hands.

Tiny hands.

I don't think he could clap.

I don't think he had.

No, because it's just the ultimate example of a guy that couldn't, wouldn't, and then basically punished the whole world for it, which is uh, sounds vaguely familiar.

Yeah, I imagine he would constantly look at his hands and his fingers and just be like

He was so sad.

His hands were so small that it didn't even make his like penis look big.

Like, it was like one of those for a day.

All he could think of was how small his hands were.

If only I could wrap the fingers around the shaft.

You're giving him too strong of a voice.

Hitler is the full-breasted one.

Oh, okay.

Well, I mean.

Oh, little Himmler is

the most evil man in the world.

Oh, everyone's going to pay me, aren't they?

Going to bend over backwards for me.

It's a good caricature, but Himmler could, he could bring out the hot when he wanted to.

I oh, I know.

Now, the personality trait that made Himmler so interested in the white race was the same that made him an excellent administrator.

In his pursuit of Aryan purity and German dominance over Europe, Himmler became the main architect of not only the Holocaust, but of the wholesale slaughter of the people of Eastern Europe.

See, while the 6 million Jews killed in the Holocaust is a horrifically large number, it only tells part of the story of the mass murder perpetrated by the Nazis and organized specifically by Heinrich Himmler.

Himmler was the creator and administrator of the concentration camps, where up to 2 million people were executed.

These two million included not only Jews, but LGBT people, communists, and basically anyone the Nazis didn't like.

Again, I'm Chadwick Bozeman, according to him.

You know what I mean?

Like,

I am the most foreign man to exist to him or I want you to understand that.

Well, you're a Slav.

Yes.

Yeah.

And I get more Slavic every day.

Yeah.

The concentration camps, however.

My back's wider than my front.

My back is.

My back is coming around.

Do you see that?

How my back is getting so big.

Like, I'm Polish as hell, dude.

You're good at that.

The concentration camps, however, were just the end game of extermination.

It began with another of Heinrich Himmler's creations, the Einsatzgruppen, whose story we will finally tell in full during this series.

We've been dancing around the Einsatzgruppen for years.

We're getting really hardcore into it on this one.

Cool.

Yeah, good.

Can I be the funny one in the Eisenstruppen?

Do they have a Goldberg?

No.

A Goldberg?

Certainly not.

Put an equivalent.

Comprised of seven death squads made up of just a few hundred men each, the Einsatzgruppen terrorized, tortured, and murdered their way through Eastern Europe like a pack of psychotic locusts.

Under Himmler's orders, the 3,000 members of the Einsatzgruppen murdered between two and three

million people face to face using a horrific variety of tactics, which makes Himmler's death squads quite possibly the most prolific killers in world history.

Think about that.

3,000 men, 3 million deaths.

How come no one went after them?

That's actually one of the massive, massive injustices of the Nuremberg trials: the vast majority of the Einsatzgruppen, vast majority of them, they faced zero consequence, absolutely nothing.

Because you know why?

There were so many Nazis.

Yeah, many Nazis, and they were trying to get all of them.

What could you do?

So they tried to flip them, and then a lot of them, they're like, well, maybe they won't do it again.

Well, the problem was that America went in and said, like, okay, we're going to prosecute every Nazi.

And then they looked looked around and said, oh, shit, we don't have anyone to run this country because they're all Nazis.

Well, that's what we got into.

So they had to pick and choose.

Operation Paperclip, and then it turns into all that.

And then we had to find out which Nazis we decided to side with.

And that began the great American slide down.

So

that's all.

We just jumped into another series.

So

let's hope.

Now, Himmler was also incredibly dangerous to other Nazis.

As we all know, right-wing fascist governments are filled with people who absolutely fucking hate each other.

And the survival of the fittest ethos that they usually live by routinely results in them ripping each other apart in a quest to reach the top.

That is the only true, I guess, immediate justice of all of these people we always have to deal with is that right-wing people have to hang out with other right-wing people.

And these guys all have to, the Nazis have to hang out with other Nazis.

And guess what other Nazis are bad at?

Being friends.

They're bad at being friends.

They're bad at being co-workers.

They're not cool, like, guys.

They're not cool team members.

It's like that Anders Bravik shit when he tried to join that one group and he couldn't.

No, it's because everybody, they're mean.

Nazis are mean.

They're crazy.

But since Heinrich Himmler was a sniveling worm of a man, he instinctively knew how to navigate his way through a fascist government.

By waiting in the background for other Nazis to make mistakes, Himmler set himself up to scoop up whatever power they had and add it to his own.

This is how Himmler came to be head of both the SS and the Gestapo, which were both folded into Himmler's massive administrative mechanism mechanism of death.

And the worst part is, Himmler was so incredibly good at what he did that if Hitler had focused his energies entirely on Russia instead of fighting a war on two fronts, Himmler's genocidal vision of a pure Aryan Europe, at least in Eastern Europe, it might have become a reality.

And I'm going to save the audience from Marcus and I's, when we had our production call, which from there we jumped into Marcus and I doing just like left the meeting, began to do a 25-minute 25-minute version of Civ 6 against each other, where we played, we like went off and we just started talking about alternative history.

And we were like, what if?

Oh, but what if they slide in?

Then you have a Nazi-run Moscow.

What if then instead we're fighting them on the Eastern Front with Japan?

We got to go against all of a sudden we're nuking Moscow, Nazi-run Moscow.

And it was like, it's awesome.

Yeah.

Cool.

None of that's real, though, right?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, none of it's real at all.

But the thing is, this series is not going to be about military history because Heinrich Himmler was not a soldier.

While the Einsaltzgruppen were certainly a part of the military, Himmler's role for the majority of his reign of terror in Nazi Germany was not about winning battles and taking land.

Rather, Himmler's job was to engineer murder on a scale not seen before or since, all in the pursuit of some half-baked romantic ideal.

And this is true that the German people's ultimate destiny was to be a race of pure-blooded warrior farmers spread across the whole of europe

every single nazi every single one of these guys that think they're going to do this does any one of them have the upper body strength to do any of this at least the guys at least the guys in the upper echelons imagine him with a pitchfork with bales of hay

like oh there's so many tiny bugs but get into it there's so many big bales of hay filled with large protruding bugs Yeah, they're all equipment managers.

You know what I'm saying?

Yes.

Well, to accomplish his vision, Himmler believed, he would have to engineer the deaths of up to 50 million people.

That was his goal, was 50 million.

And true to his spot on the Mount Rushmore of Evil, Himmler believed that this mass murder was not only justified, but morally correct.

Now, just so you know, this series is not going to be solely about Heinrich Himmler.

By telling Himmler's story, we're able to tell the story of the Nazi Party itself.

We're going to be talking about how the Nazis came to power, how they were able to accomplish such monstrous acts, and why the people of Germany allowed it to happen.

In doing so, we hope to show not just the similarities of what's happening in our modern world, but also the differences, which are just as important.

See, the people in power right now are not literal Nazis, because as you're going to hear during this series, things were far worse in every possible way in Nazi Germany, even from the very beginning.

But I will say that certain things rhyme between the current administration and Nazi Germany.

And the point of talking about it is that if there is any parallel between what any government does and what the Nazis did, then people are going to get hurt, freedoms are going to be curtailed, and people are going to die.

See, the reason why it's so easy to make comparisons between the current administration and the Nazi Party is that, well, the Nazis were at their core an extremist right-wing group.

They just took things further than any party before or since.

That means that any extreme right-wing or conservative group is going to touch tips with the Nazis at some point or another, simply by virtue of coming from similar places of intolerance, reactionary rhetoric, and the belief that they should be able to tell other people how to live their lives.

Not all birds are blackbirds, et cetera, et cetera.

That being said, I think that it is very much in the best interest of our nation to point out if there are any similarities between what is being done in our name and what the Nazis did.

Because while I don't think we're headed in exactly the same direction, we really do want to avoid getting anywhere near it for the sake of everyone involved.

I saw Cabaret this year.

I don't want to do it.

I don't want to be in Cabaret.

I saw Cabaret.

I don't want to be the MC.

Okay.

I was just like, you know, like, let's just like, even if we're close, that's, I think what we're saying is right, Marcus, is that it's not that we're there.

It's just that like, even if we get even kind of close, we should try to avoid that.

Yeah, you really want to start ringing that bell.

Yeah, I would.

I would because it seems to be concerning.

Especially when there's Nazi salutes during the inauguration.

No, baby.

Yeah, you really want to.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

You want to ring that bell and be like, ding, ding, ding, ding, our first hour, huh?

But

I don't think you guys get it that it was a joke.

Yes, and you know how these are.

Yeah.

It's so easy to make that.

It's an easy joke.

We do it all the time in side stories.

I was joking.

We always get the crowd going with Zigheiles before we're going because we want people to fucking be energized,

pumped up.

It's a reference.

I also did deep into research why Hitler's Ziegheil was different.

Oh, yeah.

Why was it?

The so-called Roman salute.

His Zigheil was different because he was to be hiled.

Oh, and so it's a receptive heil.

It was very interesting.

I did not know that he did it on purpose.

Is it bottom?

Yep.

So what?

His went straight up and the other one went across, right?

What are you doing there?

Well, they were light.

They were light.

They were like, well, no, they would do.

He would do the

back, okay.

back one.

Back one.

You do the back one.

It's a casual one.

Yeah.

They would go forward.

He would go back.

Oh, he's a cool breeze.

Because guess what?

The real reason why?

It's because doing the zigheil for too long hurt his shoulder

and his tiny little wrist.

Yeah.

Now, as far as sources go, we've been working on this series in one form or another for nearly a year.

And since we wanted to do this right, we have no less than eight sources from books alone.

So in the interest of expediency, we're going to post our full source list on our Instagram page instead of listing them one by one so we can jump directly into the story of Heinrich Himmler and the Nazi Party.

So put on your big wool bathing suit,

light up a cigar, and tell your wife to go in the other room and shut up.

Now it's time for some Nazi history, Himmler style.

Or invite your wife

if she is also into history as much as you are, because sometimes that is the case.

If she won't get too hysterical.

And if she can possibly sit and pay attention for long enough without you having to curb her like a child.

Have you ever read Mein Kampf?

No.

Could you?

Like, how do you do that?

It's a book.

You can buy it.

You buy it?

Really?

They sell it at like Barnes and Noble?

United States of America.

We technically still are a free country that allows you to read whatever you want.

Yeah.

Well, I know you can read it if you want it, but can you buy it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You can buy it.

Really?

Yeah.

It gets the money.

I do.

I've been getting the job.

I've been getting a chunk the last couple of years.

Actually, kind of crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The copyright came up.

Henry scoped it out.

Yeah.

And now he gets 50 cents on the dollar for every Mein Konf.

Thank you.

Oh, good.

Thank you.

Rob just brought up the Amazon listing for Mein Konf.

Oh, on Kindle.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

And it's $11.99.

Convertible on Kindle.

It's boring.

Yeah.

It's very boring.

Is it boring?

No, it's

pretty good.

It's not bad.

We're going to get into Mein Kampf on episode two because Mein Kampf was a massive inspiration to Heinrich Hemmler.

But yes, it's boring.

It's repetitive, and it's very whiny, as is everything that these fucking people do.

They're such fucking whiny.

They're such bitch babes.

God damn they are.

Himmler, isn't that what he called his mother, Mein Kant?

I'm sorry.

Now, Heinrich Himmler was born in the German city of Munich in the year 1900 to an upper-middle-class couple with pretensions towards German royalty.

Himmler's father, Professor Gebhardt Himmler, was the personal tutor to Prince Heinrich of Bavaria, who was a member of an ancient Germanic royal family whose lineage dated back 700 years.

And so when Professor Himmler's second child was born, he named him after his benefactor, Prince Heinrich.

His father was a fucking cuck, and he's a fucking piece of shit.

He just named him after a prince he works for.

Yeah, he named him.

He's boss.

And the prince even agreed to be Heinrich Himmler's godfather.

That meant that Heinrich Himmler came into this world already believing that he was far more important than he really was simply because his father was a tutor to a barbarian prince.

Now, is it wrong to say a part of where the main issue of where we're going to see all of this bad stuff come out of is that Germany was like a bunch of little provinces for a while that was actually only grouped together not that recently.

It was like in the 1890s, right?

Germany itself as a country is relatively new.

Yeah.

And so every section had its own like

history and its own lineage and its own like ruling classes and shit.

So as things were slammed together, it changed the fabric of the aristocracy, right?

Like it changed the fabric of all these things.

And these are people that are really looking to stay in the aristocracy.

Yes.

The changes that came when the aristocracy went away, the aristocracy.

did not like it.

They don't like it.

They really hate it when they lose their power and when things change and when the young people start coming up.

Yeah, when the money that they were handed just because their father came inside of a woman and it made you and then you get to make that money, they were really sad when that system wasn't working for them anymore.

Yeah.

So, what did he teach the Bavarian prince?

Like, how to make pretzels and shit?

Yeah.

Honestly,

how to whittle shoes,

how to unwittle yourself out of shoes.

That's the hardest part.

They also had whittle gloves.

Whittle, whittle,

whittle gloves.

Buy from your blade.

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Now, Heinrich Kimmler's father being a professor is important to Heinrich Himmler's development, and not just because it gave Heinrich his bookish habits.

It also inured Heinrich to institutionalized violence, like so many other Germans of his generation.

See, even after extreme punishment by parents and school teachers had subsided in other parts of Europe, it was alive and well in the late 19th and early 20th centuries in Germany when so many future Nazis were being born and raised.

And this is important not just to Himmler's development, but to the development of all Nazis.

Yeah, this generation.

Yeah, in Germany, punishment towards children was so severe that between 1906 and 1913, 25% of suicides by young Germans between the ages of 3 and 20, and yes, I did say the age of 3, was the result of fear of punishment for something they'd done or sustained abusive treatment from their parents.

A three-year-old committing suicide.

How?

Bad at letters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Super bad with blocks.

Super bad at being a dinosaur.

Sometimes you gotta, you know, correct the kid being like, Tyrannosaurus Rex has little arms.

What's a scavenger?

I'm gonna hit you with a book.

Sometimes they fought back, though.

Watch the white ribbon.

That movie's fucking awesome.

No, the white ribbon.

I love the white ribbon.

No, the white ribbon's about.

It's a bad motherfucker.

Have you ever seen that?

No.

Save the white ribbon for later because the white ribbon is for after the kids became Nazis and the kids started to understand that they could get stuff out of society by being Nazis as well.

I own it on Blu-ray.

I will share it with you.

It's fun to watch.

It's about how kid Nazis ratch you out.

Yeah, okay.

I understand.

With this extreme strictness and frequent punishment that was placed on kids like Heinrich Himmler, it's basically meant that violence as a solution was bred into the German people.

And because Himmler's father was a schoolmaster, that meant that Himmler got it double.

But I will say, you know, because it was so across the board, there was a lot of people that came out of this process that didn't turn into the leaders of the Holocaust.

Like, some of them did stuff like

Einstein.

There are guys in there that did some stuff.

There's the guy that made, like, there's got to be some guy who did tubular bells or some guy that was.

But it's Mike Oldfield.

But, like, you know, British.

Who's the other one?

That was the 70s.

Carl Orff, maybe?

Maybe a new, maybe some guy who made a new cheese.

There's got to be some guys in there that did good things.

No, there were.

There was Bertolt Brecht, Max Ernst.

We're going to talk about all these people later.

Brecht is boring.

I did Brecht.

I love Brecht.

Yeah, I know.

But when's the last time you saw it?

I I own the record.

I listened to it fairly often.

No, you were like the talking about his company.

I like the music.

I like three pennies.

I should be in his plays.

I was in his play.

I was in the Good Woman of Sesh one.

I played an Asian man.

Oh,

one of the axis of evil?

No, I was,

well, you know.

So Himmler's dad probably beat the shit out of him.

Himmler's dad definitely beat the shit out of him.

So jealous.

That's why he looked like Silly Putty.

He looks like Himmler looks like Marcus's Fidget.

Yeah, my fidget glaive, the stuff that, you know, just sort of that, the stuff that keeps me from moving around too much and being distracting on video.

He literally broke the mold.

But more than anything, Heinrich Himmler learned from his father that life was nothing without order.

Himmler's father set up an extremely strict system of rules and prohibitions for Heinrich and his brothers, and their obedience was monitored precisely and pedantically.

Himmler, of course, would one day take this philosophy and apply it first to the Nazis' paramilitary wing the ss and then himmmer would apply those rules to the german people themselves before finally forcing it upon any state that the nazis conquered in their quest for world domination i think pedantic is one of the true signs of the of this whole culture yeah is it because you've got to remember that too they're they're going after things they're criminalizing things that are normal yes and that's a that's when they when you hear the term that i heard a lot in these these documentaries i've been watching of nazification

that's the things that they do is they take things that you first thought was a normal concept and they make them crimes.

So then you're committing a crime and all of a sudden you're a criminal.

Now, I know I'm probably going to ask this question a bunch of times in this series.

What does pedantic mean?

Pedantic basically means like

following rules in a very small and useless way.

Where it's like we're going to like you're following rules that don't, you don't really need to follow them, but you're following them for the sake of following them, even if they don't really make sense.

Or if you're like, why the fuck am I doing this?

At some point, what's called it's

malicious compliance is applied, where they create very ornate rules and then they hold you to them to the very, very letter, and they're almost impossible to follow.

Yeah, like technically, you didn't do that, right?

It's that.

But instead of you just being like, getting into merit, you could like go to a concentration camp.

Yeah.

Yeah, you die.

Sounds like you used the right word.

Yeah.

Now, not surprisingly, Professor Himmler's system of rules and prohibitions created an incredibly neurotic son.

Heinrich Himmler was always anxious, which caused the aforementioned constant stomach cramps, meaning that the most feared person in Europe suffered from a chronically upset tummy.

Oh, I wish I could eat more popcorn, but it's too rich.

Oh, I'm just so nervous being my little boy, so filled with hate.

Because Himmler was so neurotic, he tersely recounted all of his activities in a diary from a young age, perhaps to ensure that his father knew exactly what Himmler was doing at all times and could therefore avoid punishment.

For example, in 1911, we know that Heinrich Himmler went swimming 37 times.

Oh shit, I didn't know Tylenol was around then.

But interestingly, it seems like hate was something that Heinrich Himmler was simply born with.

Thank you.

While his virulent anti-Semitism would appear later, Himmler was known in grade school for having radical views against the French.

He just chose them.

I hate the French.

And then he would just go off on like all the reasons why he hated the French and why the French sucked as a child.

He really did have a natural instinct to understand

that he's like,

we could see it.

How many times have we seen these evil nerds take over shit?

It's like you could see him understand immediately as a little boy, oh, I'm ugly, sickly, uncharming, piece of shit.

How am I,

I'm going to need to be in charge.

How can I make, and also, how can I make myself feel better?

Yes.

By pointing out the shortcomings of others and by creating shortcomings for other entire races of people.

And there are several quotes in this that I had to read to my therapist that I don't know even where to share them, where I had to explain where it's very interesting that you could see this little boy Himmler, because of his diary, there are so many clips of his thoughts that if you put the words he was saying and put next to them pictures of some very current human beings that are talking on the internet, you would see the exact same words coming out of a 15-year-old Himmler's mouth.

Yeah.

Out of the 15-year-olds that we're seeing that are being taught by the malicious,

evil people that are talking to them about this stuff, especially about women.

Yes.

And it started with women and abstract hate.

Yes.

And we're going to get into that later on.

Way into that.

Do you think he hated the French because of how much they cooked with cream?

But I won't because it just makes me all burgly burgly and makes me dumpers loose.

So I'll constrict him a whole breakfast.

If there's any favour that I could have just bizarre Zabinet sauce, I'd be a wonderful look at my stomachs.

I'm doing him, my goal is to do him as late.

It's like I'm passing in a movie.

You're little Lord Fauntle Roying him a little bit.

Yes, he is right now.

Yes, he will be big Lord Fauntle Roy very soon.

But the thing is, it could be that Himmler's hate may have been born from his own shortcomings, which were many.

It's almost like they were just his comings.

or non-cummings

As I said earlier, Himmler was not the ideal Aryan.

He was a small, short, sickly child whose round spectacles only accentuated his round face.

And his

legendarily weak chin did him no favors either.

Yeah, yeah, it's a bad one.

Yeah.

Heinrich, he's one of those guys that, you know, he's somehow he's skinny, but he also has seven chins.

Yeah, yeah.

He looks like brain, like pinky in the brain.

He does.

Yeah.

He looks like somebody I want to fucking knock in the mouth.

Yeah.

That's what he looks like.

Like a peached sofa in an abandoned model home.

Heinrich also complained repeatedly in his diaries about his frequent bouts with illness.

He had many, many colds.

And, you know, to kind of fight against all this, he tried bettering himself through daily weight training with dumbbells, but he was too sickly to get anywhere with lifting weights.

Can I get somebody to remake the picture of Pee Wee Herman working out at the bottom of that?

Can I get that with putting Himmler's face on Pee-Wee Herman's body?

Because that's like perfect.

Now, even though Himmler would have been killed immediately if he had ever stepped foot on a battlefield, he would have gotten bit by a bug.

He like

that's how Himmler dies on the battlefield.

Oh, no.

He's got Death by Trenchfoot written on the ball.

Oh, yeah.

He was supposed to be cannon fodder.

Yes.

His ears are innies.

He was still fascinated with every aspect of World War One, which broke out when Himmler was 14 years old.

He wrote that had he been old enough, he would have been, quote, out there like a shot.

I'd be out there.

I need to be out there.

But I can't be out there.

I'm too young.

I'm too much of a boy.

They will be so frightened by my tenacity.

I'm coming for you.

Oh, the dirt is so hot.

Does anyone have any sense for boots?

My boots are attacking the soles of my feet.

See, for all his evil, Heinrich Himmler was, at his heart, a romantic.

Like most Nazis and like many people on the extreme right wing, Himmler was a fantasist, obsessed with glory in the present that would result in a return to a past that never actually existed.

I'm just going to say this once, as how many posters I read while watching these documentaries that say make Germany great again.

And it is legitimately the quote.

And so just remember that, okay?

Because it's hard to get away from this.

We're not trying to turn Rachel Madd out here.

I don't want to be.

I don't want to be on the MSNBC side of things, but I just need you to understand that.

That they are literally,

it's the same slogan.

It's the same.

The playbook is exactly the same.

Yes.

Also, Reagan used the same slogan.

Exactly.

No.

The playbook is the same across the board.

But Reagan at least had the balls to get shot.

But for all the glory World War I could offer Himmler, if only he were old enough, it also took away Himmler's connection to Bavarian royalty.

Heinrich's godfather and namesake, Prince Heinrich, was killed in Romania in 1916, which removed the Himmler family's privileged access to the Bavarian court.

Himmler's dreams of being attached to German royalty were dashed.

And personally, I think that Prince Heinrich's death instilled a drive within Himmler to return to a position of power and importance at any cost.

Because he knows 700 years ago, little Himmler was dead on the gate of a feudal lord, his bones hanging from it, begging for food.

In any other generation, Himmler is a runoff.

Hitler is the guy the tribe or like literally leaves behind.

He is a waste of physical potential.

He's a waste of mental potential.

And he knows knows that.

He knows that if I don't become dictator, no one's ever going to like me.

Yeah, they used to be.

Germans used to be barbarians.

They were fucking giant madmen.

But they also were, there was levels like, because the Vikings actually kind of had some sort of...

interesting matriarchal societies.

There was stuff in there that wasn't like this.

They are going to go ahead and make up a world that didn't exist after this to explain how the Nazis got to there.

So it wasn't like, in the end, they were just people.

They were like nomadic tribes living their own little lives.

Yeah, but they definitely find a they create a narrative that fits the world that they want to live in.

And they tell people, oh, this is the truth, when in fact, it's just a fantasy that they've created.

Now, when Himmler was 17 years old, his father used all of his remaining influence with the Bavarian royal household to get Heinrich accepted into the army as an officer in training cadet.

But ironically, Himmler's privileged position made it impossible to lie about his age in order to enter the war early, like so many other teenagers.

We were so close.

So close.

As a result, Heinrich did not qualify for officer training until after Armistice Day on November 11th, 1918, when the war was all said and done.

Day after my wedding anniversary.

But Himmler still went through with his army training anyway, although he soon discovered that military life was actually quite difficult for a sniveling, sickly bookworm such as himself.

Himmler wrote dozens upon dozens of letters to his parents complaining about the food, the bed, and how homesick he was.

He would berate his parents for not writing him enough.

He would chastise them for not sending a message or a package literally every single day.

And these are direct.

And Henry, please, I want you to read these directly.

No, no, give it some sauce, but don't add any

in one letter.

Himmler wrote, quote, Dearest parents, today again, I have got nothing from you.

That's mean.

He is

18 years old.

Then.

No one cares about what I did in a canoe today.

Nobody cares about the knots out toyed.

Then, when his parents still didn't write him back, he wrote, quote, Dear mother, Thank you so much for your news, which I did not get.

It's so horrid of you not to write again.

Mean, mommy.

Mean, bad mommy.

No, good to me, not good to little Heiny.

The most feared man in Europe.

Oh, you need to be, mommy.

Show me teeth.

He's not 14, he's not 12.

He's not writing from summer camp.

He is writing from officer training stations.

Mommy, how big was your belly when I was inside?

Can you show me how big was it?

Because a beach ball?

Answer me, mommy.

Oh, I hate the Jews.

I just can't help but think that his name, his nickname is Heine.

Yeah, which is like a Jewish name for butt.

Yeah,

his wife called him Heine.

That's next episode.

We'll get there.

Now, Heinrich considered himself a failure for never being able to fulfill what he believed was his true calling.

Despite his obviously weak nature and physical shortcomings, Himmler believed that it was his destiny to be an officer in a war to defend Germany, and he'd missed that destiny by just a few months.

That's not how destiny works.

Nope.

Additionally, Himmler, like many Germans, was dismayed about how the war had ended, except Himmler, of course, took it personally.

Why did we lose?

It was because I wasn't there.

I was the ex-factor.

In Himmler's view, the Bavarian government had been overthrown by communists and anarchists, who would replace the Bavarian royal family to which he'd only had the slightest connection.

But for Himmler, the dissolution of the royal family was a great loss.

And he, like so many other Germans, was starting to give serious consideration to the rumor that the German people had been, quote-unquote, stabbed in the back by the Jews, who had supposedly conspired to orchestrate Germany's defeat.

But aren't they also in Germany?

Why the fuck would they be orchestrating the defeat of the country in which they're in, Marcus?

Because they're there to make...

The story goes.

Because Cabals are moving all the revolutions.

They're there to make money.

The whole thing is so they can make money on the misery of the german people they were making money before but they could make more money they can't actually people you actually make more it's shown economically why are you arguing with me i'm not i don't subscribe to status

why are you saying these things

it works it doesn't make any sense none of it makes any sense no no no it's and that's what we'll get into again and again is that it that these uh theories about the jews and these conspiracy theories about the jews is that basically what it does is it gives these people an answer for everything to be able to go like, ah, of course, the Jews.

I should have known.

It's again and again.

They're able to use it for anything.

I know my Jewish father was horrible with money.

It doesn't work like that.

Not all blackbirds, right?

And all birds are

blackbirds.

And so in April of the year 1919, Heinrich Kimmler put his natural-born hate into practice by becoming a right-wing youth just after graduating high school.

And he joined no less than two paramilitary units led by extreme right-wing figures.

Now, two paramilitary units, that sounds a little overblown, but that's one of the mistakes people make when thinking about Nazi Germany.

It's not like the Nazis were some right-wing aberration that just happened to find their way into power through deceit and cleverness.

Instead, the Nazis just happened to be the one extreme right-wing party in Germany out of

many who came out on top in the end.

And Heinrich Himmler claimed membership in a fair fair amount of these groups throughout his 20s before he finally settled on the one led by Herr Hitler.

Now, one of the two right-wing groups that Heinrich Himmler joined in 1919 was led by a man named Rudolf von Sabaltendorf, who was the chairman of a group that was extremely important to the development of certain elements of the Nazi Party and to Himmler's own interest in the occult.

In addition to running right-wing paramilitary groups, Rudolf von Sabaltendorf was also the chairman of the infamous occult organization known known as the Tula Society, who are using the swastika as their symbol years before the Nazis co-opted it as their own.

Yes, we were dueling it long before it was cool.

Yes, I was also

when there's only 25 people in there.

And I can't say 999!

999!

So why have I heard that the swastika comes from like Japanese culture?

It's not necessarily Japanese.

It's a Hindu thing, like

Buddhist, like

Indian Asian culture.

It's an ancient symbol, but it's just a symbol of good luck.

And it also, it looks cool.

Like, that's that's what they like.

Wow, that looks great.

There are things that were done in this time period that were done literally for stylistic reasons and for propaganda reasons.

I mean, I would say that 90% of what they did was done for style and propaganda.

And Rudolf von Zabottendorf was a truly very mysterious, dark character in all of this because he came from turkey and he came from essentially maybe being one of the people that ran guns to the same guys that did the armenian genocide so rudolf von zabottendorf has been this kind of proto understanding of mixing

mixing international espionage with uh racist ideologies and learning how to swing use them in political worlds.

So this guy, Rudolf von Zabottendorf, is like a giant dark dark hole into history that I started to tumble down.

And then you're like, oh, okay, this is, it's this whole other series.

Yeah.

Have you ever seen the swastikas that they use as design in Glendale on all the light posts and stuff?

Yeah.

It's fucking weird.

Yeah, dude.

But it's like, again, they're still being like, well, we had it first.

Yeah, it's an easy design, you know.

Founded in 1919 by a war veteran named Walter Nauhaus, who was obsessed with the Teutonic Knights responsible for the Crusades, the Tula Society was the group that gave the Nazis their flavor, so to speak.

Your swerve!

See, the reason why the Tula Society had chosen the swastika as their symbol was because it was ancient and it was in no way connected to Christianity.

It was therefore in no way connected to the Jews, because the Tula Society was naturally anti-Semitic.

But as it went many times with these people, they found a way to turn their hatred of someone else into a plus for themselves.

The reasoning went that if the swastika wasn't Christian and it wasn't Jewish, then it had to have originated with ancient white people.

And the only only ancient white people around were the Aryan race.

If you believe it.

Yeah.

If you even believe it.

Can you believe it?

It's the Aryans again.

I just want you to let me know when you're ready for me to jump on in here.

See, by 1917, the Tula Society had become obsessed with two things.

First and foremost, they were convinced they were going to find the origins of the Aryan race somewhere in Europe.

But they were also going to ensure that the existing Aryan race remained pure.

What these guys started to understand understand is that we need lore, we need world building.

Yes.

We need stuff that we could hang our hat on.

There is no Germanic capital G spirit.

We don't know what we could do.

We all want it.

We're all desperate, some kind of national spirit.

Something that can fill us with something outside of ourselves that we can then use as a cudgel against everybody else.

So the Tula Society created a version of the birth of white people, that there was a frozen island named Tula, where that's where we crawl out of that white people crawl out of the ice in this magical place where we had technology in the ice and then we spread and we are the beginning of all society even we are the white walkers we are the literally now it's not but we know that's not we know it's not true but they were gonna just make it up because they can with the tula society to ensure that they at least kept their own house in order Any prospective member had to sign a special oath swearing that to the best of their knowledge, no Jewish or quote-unquote colored blood flowed in either his or his wife's veins, and that there were no members of the so-called colored races amongst their ancestors.

But besides the racial stuff, the Tula Society also involved themselves in politics.

Like most of these groups, the Tule Society lumped Jews and communists together.

The Nazis also subscribed to this.

So, the Tula Society attempted to infiltrate the new German socialist government in 1919 to perform a coup.

Instead, seven Tula Society members were captured and executed, including its founder and three German aristocrats.

This, I think, tells you that Heinrich Kimmler was not the only person in Germany who wanted things to return to the way they were before the war.

And that's, I think, extremely important.

The aristocratic class in Germany plays a massive role in the rise of the Nazis.

And in actually, like, the aristocrats were the ones who opened the door because they thought that they could take advantage of Hitler.

They thought they could could control Hitler.

They thought they could control the Nazis.

They're like, ah, he's just some, they called him a jumped-up corporal.

They're like, ah, he's just some idiot.

He's just some fucking, he's some peasant.

We can control him.

Guess what?

You fucking can't.

Yeah.

You cannot control these people.

You know, and aren't the Nazis more communists than socialists?

In reality?

What they did, this is actually, so

this is an extremely complex thing.

Should I not ask that question?

No, we shouldn't get into it too far.

But it's extremely complex.

The The question, the answer is

those thought structures,

the answer is those thought structures were extremely popular within Germany at the time.

Actually, Germany was way more left-wing during this time period.

After the collapse of Germany and

then all of this after World War I, basically Nazis realized if we talk like communists, if we talk like socialists, people will essentially hook people in.

And that's what they did.

They took the language of those things and just flipped it on its head so they can do stuff like, we're a communist, we're a socialist group, we're for the people, we're saying these things because one of the big things Himmler's

Yeah, and what Himmler's going to say later on is that the SS looks scary, but he's going to tell the SS, act like you're, they're going to be afraid of you, naturally, but you're helpers.

You're helpers.

And so that's this whole remember that.

So every single time they're doing, they're just twisting language so that somebody like you can be like, aren't you all socialists?

Because that's important to the game.

Now, the Tula Society's link to the Nazi Party has admittedly been overblown over the years by occult Nazi conspiracy theorists.

And that includes us, way back in the day when our grasp on history was, let's say, a little more tenuous than it is now.

We're still doing our best.

We're still learning.

We're trying.

That's what you got to do.

You got to educate yourself and learn over the years.

That's what we've been doing.

You never stop.

You never stop growing.

You know, I've learned.

There are just, we know more so.

It's there are two layers.

There are just more and more layers.

There's more and more understanding that certain things are just done

for reasons that we don't want to understand.

Like that the idea that this occult side of it,

Himmler knows when we'll begin to express that there is a literal, there's a practical way to harness this.

And that's what it is.

It's keeping a foot on something.

There's a power in using it.

Yes.

Yes.

In reality, no prominent Nazi was ever a part of a Tula society save for Anton Drexler.

Drexler was the founder of the party that became the Nazi Party, the German Workers' Party, which, add to

your point, sounds very communist.

And while Drexler was definitely a member of the Tula Society, Hitler never was, despite many claims to the contrary.

Really, the Nazis just liked the cut of the Tula Society's jib and vice versa.

But when Hitler began his true rise to power, he purposefully distanced himself from the Tula Society.

Like, I don't know.

They're fine, they're fine, but that's not really our thing.

And this wasn't because he disagreed with anything the Tula Society was saying, but because Hitler knew that the Tula Society was simply too weird for most regular Germans, too out there with their occult beliefs.

In modern terms, the Tula Society is to the Nazis kind of like what QAnon is to today's right wing.

But definitely, you're not going to win over most of middle America talking about Tom Hanks ain'tly raping a child any more than a middle-class German in 1919 was going to be swayed by arguments that white people deserve to be in charge because we come from Atlantis.

What did Tom Hanks do?

Tom Hanks, you know, he's very persuasive.

You know, if I'm going somewhere, I'm molested.

See, I want to get in your box to charge you.

But that's one of the things that people don't realize about the Nazis is that Hitler was, he always liked to present himself as a reasonable man.

Well, he was like, he very much, he did like all the crazy shit, all the wacky shit.

It was a slow role.

He always wanted to present himself as reasonable.

He loved a referendum.

He always loved, like, let's just, let's put it to the people and see what the people say.

But then you see the Schleischer?

What's his name?

Schleicher.

The guy that would end up putting Hitler in charge, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah.

The one who ended up fucking getting killed during Night of the Long Knives because he thought that he could fucking control Hitler.

Because because you can never fucking control these people but then he brought hitler right so he was the first one to meet but everybody who met hitler was like straight up were like this guy's fucking insane right this guy's really insane but they all were like ah because he he began to realize i just i have to change tone yes but just as it is with q anon there were some people in germany who were swayed by the wackier shit and heinrich himmler was most certainly one of those people dude this is the xenon poll Yeah.

Because the Xenon poll, like what that does, with the Xenu poll, this is the Xenu poll.

So what this does again is that you're in so far.

I'm going to tell you something ridiculous.

Now what that's actually going to do, that's a loyalty test.

And that's going to make you double down.

Like, if you don't believe that white people can naturally harness the transformative power of the Earth itself, Vrill, and be able to create UFOs that can fly and be able to travel past in time in order to like fuck a Mastodon or whatever.

Like these guys like legitimately, like, they believe that outwardly because that's a sign that you're a true believer and you're going to be in lockstep no matter what.

And some people are more willing to believe the crazier shit than rational shit sometimes, too.

Because the crazier shit can't be proved.

And it's a better story.

Yeah, it makes life more interesting.

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Now, while Himmler wasn't a member of the Tula Society, he was a member of right-wing groups run by Tula Society members.

And Himmler gobbled up every bit of pseudoscience and pseudo-history that these people spewed.

He certain understanding.

See, during World War I, many Germans found themselves drawn to the myth of Atlantis.

But what they heard was an Atlantis myth with a racist slant.

This myth said that Aryans, i.e., white people, were actually Atlanteans and that the lesser races had caused their downfall.

This belief was thanks in part to the occult thinkers of the time, like Madame Helena Blavatsky,

who didn't give a second thought to the possible consequences of the shit that she was making up on the fly.

I will say, upon a rereading of The Secret Doctrine, if you look at it, she legitimately, it's all filler.

Yeah.

The race stuff in

The Secret Doctrine is all filler.

It makes zero sense.

We tried covering it on our series, and it was the worst part of the whole thing.

But they understood that what you do is you take a thing that appears to be a mysterious truth that you can't understand and need an otherworldly intelligence to walk you through.

What they'll do is, what they understand immediately is zoom into something specific that's already around that nobody can explain.

We will attach an explanation to it.

Now it has an explanation.

Now it can be actionable.

And they're going to simplify it.

Yeah.

How do Jews sink a city?

The actual lesson of Atlantis is supposed to be these very magical white people destroyed themselves with their their own hubris.

That's the story.

That's what the real story is supposed to be.

But the Germans who love this shit combined the Atlantis myth with the pseudo-science of the day.

Stuff like phrenology and eugenics, which eugenics comes from America.

And it's all coming back.

All that phrenology shit's all back.

That's the new fun stuff that these guys are all doing.

All the these people I'm not allowed to name anymore, all the various

celebrities that we're doing with that.

That our

the shape of our skull tells us what our

phrenology is supposed to be.

Dude, phrenology is is all racial science is bigger than it's ever been.

Yeah.

Since this time period.

Yeah.

Well, it became common occult knowledge amongst people in Germany that Atlantis was either Iceland or Greenland, and evidence of ancient Aryans, they believed, could be found somewhere on these islands.

Now, Himmler was just as into all of this shit as all of the other white people nerds who were getting into it at the time.

But Himmler was also obsessed with Germanic history and mythology.

There's a term for it, Aryosophy.

Areosophy, which is the turning of theosophy into race, into Aryan-based.

Huh.

That's interesting.

Well, additionally, archaeology was all the rage amongst the upper crust of Germany when Himmler was growing up.

So having knowledge of ancient history only played further into Himmler's ideals of what was required to be a part of a proper society.

See, by the time Himmler was 10, he had memorized the details of all of Germany's most famous historic battles.

And in high school, his knowledge of ancient German weaponry and warfare was said to equal or surpass that of his teachers which I'm sure made him an incredibly aggravating student.

Of course that's who he was.

Yeah dude.

Yeah, actually the thing is about that that staff, I'm not sure you're putting it in the right pillar.

I know what's asking you.

As far as Himmler's specialties went, his historical hero was Frederick Barbarossa, the 12th century king of Germany who had launched the Second and Third Crusades.

Barbarossa was also who Hitler named the invasion of Russia after Operation Barbarossa.

Yeah, you know, just get it.

Nothing to do with the Willie Nelson movie.

Oh, I find it so fascinating that it's always the weakest guys that like the big, strong guys.

Yeah.

Those big, strong, strapping, big-tocked, big-bald men.

Very much love a big-breasted men.

Yeah, like a sports journalist.

Most specifically, Himmler was drawn to Barbarossa's restoration of the Dustinian codes, which were laws enforced by moral justifications.

In King Frederick's case, he ruled by the divine right of kings, and that meant that everything he did was moral and just solely because he was king.

Himmler took these ideas and internalized them and began to believe that laws should enforce morality.

Influenced by King Frederick further, Himmler also believed that morality was universal, not subjective.

But Himmler also believed that he was one of the few people who knew what those universal morals were.

And those morals certainly weren't good news for anyone who wasn't white, straight, and chaste.

Now, Heinrich Himmler was a sponge for ideas.

And in the mirror.

Yeah.

Yeah, I got him.

So he was just as influenced by contemporary thought coming out of Germany as he was by the concepts dreamed up by his medieval forebears.

Himmler particularly latched on to an ethno-nationalist German movement called the Volkisch Movement, which first gained steam in the late 19th century and also heavily influenced Hitler.

If it tells you anything, the official Nazi newspaper was called the Volkisch Observer.

See, during World War I, Imperial Germany believed that it was owed expansion beyond its borders so the German people could spread across Central and Eastern Europe and return to what made Germany great in the first place.

I understand they weren't Germany yet.

They were just there already.

They didn't need more.

They always were there.

They wanted more.

No, they wanted Eastern Europe.

But they didn't ever have it before.

Why do they want it now?

You were fine sitting there.

Because there are more Germans now, and so they needed more land in order to be more German.

Yeah, World War One must have been real fun.

Did you say more land or more bland?

Hey, there's nothing bland about Germany.

We went, it's because it's with many tapestries of different flavors.

Yeah, they have all kinds of different mustards.

Dude, they do.

Hey, dude, wait till you go.

I love, I'll say this.

I love Germany.

I love it.

And I love German culture.

I love German music and art.

It really does suck that the Nazis gave the Germans such a bad name because they really have made some incredible things throughout the years.

Hey, but ever since they've been doing good.

Yeah.

They just have a little period of time.

Yep.

Well, by the 20s, Germans had become obsessed with rolling back the clock to the country's ancient agricultural roots because writers in the Volkisch movement began espousing the idea that old German farming traditions had refined and biologically honed the Nordic race, but those traditions had been lost.

I mean, they definitely did create a series of ladies with some of the best, most succulent alabaster mommy milkers that you've ever seen in your life, but

I don't know if that's going to do much for the war effort.

I mean, big-titted beer wunches are probably some of the best things that God and his German face ever created, but I don't know.

I mean, but that's really where I tap out.

Not sure if it's like superiorities.

Sausage makers are delicious.

I want to meet them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, the reasoning went that in ancient German tradition, German farmers had picked the strongest of their children to inherit their land, so that only the fittest would farm the fields and therefore continue propagating a superior bloodline.

So somebody like Himmler would have been definitely chosen by his big strapping father, certainly not drowned in the river when he was fucking five years old.

But owing to what the Volkisch writers saw as the negative influence of the French Revolution, German landowners were now dividing their land equitably amongst all their heirs, thereby imperiling the Nordic race and undoing generations of selective breeding.

So through the Volkisch movement, the ideas of being pure through breeding and the importance of agriculture, these two ideas became inextricably linked in the minds of certain segments of the German population.

No,

you can't farm.

Yeah, but that's the thing.

And we're not talking, it's like, we're not talking 1933 here.

We're talking like 1899 We're talking like that this is these are ideas that have been fermenting in Germany for decades by the time the Nazis come along but and by the time Heinrich Himmler starts really getting into it and and so to see here is like Himmler's putting these things together to create a story you can follow like that's going to be one of the things he understands that a fascist government and just kind of like what a revolution needs like what he views as a revolution needs a revolution needs a plot.

It needs benchmarks.

It needs all of these things.

860 degrees.

Yes.

But it needs like, it needs like something.

It needs a story.

And Himmler understood that immediately.

And he started seeing, oh, this is the story we're going to tell.

By the time of the Nazis, this idea had been taken even further.

They called it Liebensraum, or living space.

I remember that from high school.

Yeah.

Social studies.

Oh, yeah.

But the Nazis had added the provision that anyone who was in the German so-called living space, unfortunately, they had to be removed, enslaved, or exterminated, depending on their racial characteristics.

You're kind of living in my space.

You shouldn't be living in the space.

And I would move you, but that's hard, so we're just going to have to kill you.

Yep.

This sick fantasy would be central to Heinrich Himmler's future plans, and it would drive every major decision throughout his life to the detriment of millions.

You don't want to be online after Himmler when you're at at the fucking old country buffet.

Oh, man.

Because oh, motherfucker wants his room.

Man.

Imagine if Himmler was on Twitter.

Oh, he might have been actually, he might have been saved.

There's no sense of him.

Maybe he would have gotten out of his system by just being, because there's definitely, I'm having such a hard time not comparing him to so many different people that we know in the space right now because he's very, very similar to a lot of them.

I wish.

Exactly.

I mean, that's the thing.

I mean, we're starting to see, you know, they say like, oh, you know, Twitter like helps it, helps it get the poison out.

But now we're starting to see that, no, these things online, fighting online, it doesn't help get the poison out.

It only increases the poison until it flows over and spills over and splashes the rest of us.

I actually, I have a kind of a theory that I'm building now that I think that it does sort of help for a while.

I think that it does allow pressure to increase from people saying hateful things.

I think the problem is that eventually you do begin to realize it's not moving the needle and that sometimes that that either hopefully that makes you stop being a troll that normally either maybe there's like one or two it's either you upgrade to something worse or you finally stop yeah it's also good that we see it in real time because all this Himmler shit we learned from like his diaries and stuff yeah after he died we got a handle on you know now we get to like see people post it their thoughts in real time which is kind of cool what's amazing about himler in this aspect is the fact that he wrote down every single one of his thoughts.

He did.

So we know exactly what he was thinking.

Yeah, that's why we know Himmler.

Like, that's why we can say so much about Himmler as opposed to, like, why Hitler's still such a, even though Hitler wrote an entire book about his beliefs.

Yeah, he was a fake version of himself.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, with Himmler, we know exactly who this man was.

Now, when Heinrich Himmler read about the Würkisch movement, it sounded to him like the ideal life, despite the fact that he was the upper-middle-class son of a professor from one of Germany's most cosmopolitan cities.

A horse farted.

Now I'm sick.

I hate this corn.

The corn is hard.

Oh,

oh,

I hate shocking it.

Even the paper around the corn is sharp.

It's the husk.

But like any nerd, Himmler was just trying to live out a fantasy he'd read in a book because Himmler had been greatly inspired by an author with the extremely German name of Hans Günther.

Yes, my mother was a trooper.

Hans Gunther's book was a hugely popular tome called The Night, Death, and the Devil, in which he argued in the most racist way possible that the German people were destined to live in an agrarian culture in which every German is a warrior farmer who could both live off the land and defend it, if need be.

It's the same guys that were at Charlottesville.

You know what I mean?

It's the same fat-bodied piece of shit, weak-shouldered, weak-chested little bitches that are going to go and like act like they're going to till a field.

A lot of them can't till a Walmart.

I will say, The Night, Death, and the Devil is a great title.

It's a good day.

It's a pretty good day.

Yeah, The Night, Death, and the Devil.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

You know, if that was a movie on a shelf at Blockbuster, I'd be like, that one, please.

Give me that and 310 to Yuma.

Inspired by Hans Gunther's ideas, Himmler made the very surprising decision to study farming at the Technical University in Munich when he was 19.

But the catch was that he had to have one year of practical experience under his belt before he could join the program.

Now, even though Himmler acquired an apprenticeship on a farm in short order, his body was not prepared for 12 hours of manual labor six days a week.

To his credit, he did try to push through the pain, but he still ended up sick in bed with paratyphoid fever after just five days on the farm.

He couldn't even get through a work week.

Dearest father, I think a chicken coughed on me.

Dearest father, will the white race prevail?

I have beet disease.

Oh, oh, beet disease.

The vegetables.

Son?

Yes, you have not conquered disease.

Oh, you have disease of the beet.

Yes, I have radish AIDS.

Help.

Help, father.

Send help.

Send money.

Send money.

The fever landed Himmler in the hospital for three weeks, but Himmler's hospital stay basically became the 1920s equivalent of falling down a racist YouTube algorithmic rabbit hole.

While bedridden, Himmler alternated between Jules Verne and political works that only reinforced his conservative nationalist viewpoints.

It's kind of like sitting there and going back and forth between Minecraft videos and Nick Fuentes.

Yes, excellent.

I knew that beets were the Jews' apple.

I knew that for certain good sour beets.

Particularly, Himmler devoured books that had the seemingly incongruent views that the Jews had both started World War I and had stabbed Germany in the back by forcing them to surrender on the cusp of victory.

Really?

Because you figured the people who forced them to surrender were the other armies that defeated them.

That is more what happened.

Yeah.

And it was the generals that were like, oh, we can't win this.

Oh, we not.

Oh, we're losing this.

Well, that wasn't that, well, but that really was kind of where the idea came from,

is that the German generals at the time, unlike Hitler later on, who took Germany to the bitter end until Berlin was absolutely destroyed, the German generals in World War I looked at the men they had, they looked at everyone else, and they thought, we can't win this.

And if we keep going with this, then these people are going to march into Germany and they're going to destroy our entire country.

And we don't want that to happen.

But there were guys on the German front lines who were like, oh, everything's going great.

Like we're still, we're winning battles.

We're doing shit.

Like everything's going good.

But because the German generals made the responsible decision to not sacrifice millions of more of their citizens, many Germans did not believe.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah, that's what they thought.

They were like, they wanted to fight to the last man, to the last, you know, until it was, until there was no hope.

Man, fucking Himmler would have died died so fucking fast.

No, I know.

It would have been awesome.

He can't even garden, much less live in a trench.

You know, like

he couldn't.

Five days.

I have to confess to you.

I don't even really like water.

I don't like to be wet.

It's like I'm covered with slow.

Now, once Himmler was out of the hospital, he decided that maybe the hands-on apprenticeship wasn't the right move.

Yes.

So he quit the program and enrolled at the University of Munich with a major in agriculture.

So I can write papers about farming.

Yeah, so he could be more theoretical with it.

Yeah, you know how that is.

Well, what are seeds?

What is a seed?

I mean, you can get a major in it.

You can get a degree in agriculture in college and go on to be a farmer.

My grandfather did that.

You can be a researcher.

You can do lots of stuff.

Yeah, no, I'm not putting it down.

I'm putting him down.

No, please, please, yes.

He also joined a group that was far more suited to his background, a racist fencing fraternity.

That's now that is Heinrich Kammler's land.

Well, he does look like a pincushion.

He wrote in his diary that he only gained the confidence in college to engage in intellectual debates with other men after he had received his first fencing scar.

After I was caught with the sword for the first time, then I felt I could truly debate with the men.

Goddamn, I just want to mash his face into my fucking ass.

As do I.

Now, at the University of Munich, Himmler linked up with other young, extreme, right-wing shitheads who also wanted to waste their youth on hating people different from them while talking endlessly about the best ways to subjugate said people.

See, anti-Semitism was on a sharp rise in Germany after World War I due to the whole stab in the back thing.

So, Himmler and his compatriots would quote-unquote debate as to whether or not Jews deserved equal rights or if they should even be allowed to participate in Himmler's precious fencing duels.

Himmler also immersed himself in an anti-Semitic book called The Sin Against the Blood by a German dickhead named Arthur Dinter, where Jews are depicted as race-defilers and the embodiment of everything wrong with society.

That's all to say that the Nazis did not in any way, shape, or form create the anti-Semitism that eventually bore the Holocaust, although writers like Arthur Dinter did become members of the Nazi Party eventually.

Instead, the Nazis merely picked up the ideas that were already floating around Germany and took them to the most extreme conclusions.

He was just mad that his last name was Dinter.

Yeah.

I don't like being Dinter no more.

Nobody likes a Dinter.

An arter, Arter Dinter.

Arter Dinter.

Sounds like he was named by Kroke.

As you might expect, Heinrich Himmler, with his extreme anxiety, weak chin, and hateful personality, he was not the most charismatic man in Germany, and he was almost completely bereft of social graces.

Himmler always had problems forming personal relationships because he was shy, uncertain, and constantly struggling to understand what people expected of him.

Well, he's also a myopic, racist, shithead.

Yeah.

As one author put it, Himmler simply didn't know how to strike the right note in his behavior with other people.

Yeah, because he was a virulent Nazi.

Mm-hmm.

That same object

tends to make you unlikable

to the majority of people.

Yeah.

And it just always, like, that's not always like fine.

Like the idea too, I'll never understand that.

Like these guys do have like friends and they do have these things where you have to act all normal around them or whatever.

Can you fucking imagine it?

Can you imagine it?

I like, yeah, I get it.

You're going to put me in a concentration camp.

But honestly, you might have to if you think I'm going to give him a high five.

I don't want to touch him.

I really, it's like, it's like he was like, just I keep going back to Andrew's Bravik.

He just looks like him.

He acts like him.

Yeah.

Very similar.

Well, that same author basically diagnosed Himmler with what modern psychologists would call an attachment disorder.

That meant that Himmler placed very high expectations on other people, but was unable to define what those expectations were.

So, as a result, his expectations could never be fulfilled.

It was impossible.

But Himmler would still become highly frustrated when people disappointed him, and he had a constant desire for affection with no way of knowing how to obtain it.

Because of these constant failed connections, a disordered person like Himmler will shut down even further emotionally while trying to find outlets to compensate for their lack of relationships.

He could have used like a body pillow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, what a flesh shall I attach to a hockey machine.

What have you done for this man?

This man, honestly, you just look at Himmler and you for my first thought in my head, this man needs some hentai.

In Himmler's case, his attachment disorder manifested in strict observance of social formalities and rules for everyday life.

Himmler believed that if he abided by every rule there was, no matter how pedantic, he could defend his lack of emotional maturity by saying, actually, everyone else sucks because they don't follow the rules.

And if this doesn't ring true to what we are dealing with on the internet, then I don't know what does.

This is such like an incel thought process.

Like this is such like this idea.

You're wrong.

I hate you.

I hate you.

And that what I have to do then is that because all of you aren't behaving the way that you all need to be behaving There should be rules in which you all have to give me things and treat me nicely because you are you won't do it because because I'm a putrid boil

And it's just like yeah, I'm sorry putrid boil.

Maybe think about the putrid part of the boil.

Like, I get it.

You're just a boil.

Plenty of boils out there who have a good time.

You know what you do?

Nice shirt.

Yeah.

Good haircut.

You know what women like?

If you want people like a general, better shoes.

You'd be less, then you'd just be a boil with great shoes.

Now, while Heinrich Kimmler certainly had compatriots who shared his beliefs, he never had what you'd call friends.

Well, he did have one friend when he was a teenager, a kid named Falk Zipperer.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Apparently, they would write...

Was he played by Martin Starr in the movie?

Apparently, they would write poetry together.

Himmler's poetry, awful.

Absolutely terrible.

Falk Zipperer, though, did get some poems published.

He was okay, but eventually he just got tired of them, like, I don't want to hang out with this fucking guy anymore.

IMC Zipperer!

In Himmler's view, human relationships required him to commit too deeply, although his diary entries from college portray a nerd who was extremely anxious to be accepted by other students.

This, however, was a difficult proposition because he was, after all, Heinrich fucking Himmler.

And he wasn't any more of a likable guy when he was in college than when he was second in command of the Third Reich.

Reichable.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Himmler was described as shy but incredibly arrogant, notoriously anti-Semitic, violently opposed to communism, inflexible in straying from his routine, and terrible at reciting Bavarian folk poetry, which he tried to do often.

When Himmler ran for student office, he got the smallest number of votes, because while most people didn't hate Heinrich Himmler, nobody liked him either.

Why?

As such, Himmler did not do well in the romance department either.

Himmler, however, justified his lack of success in forming intimate relationships with women by announcing publicly that he would remain a virgin until marriage.

You don't even try.

You try to break me.

Try to see if I'll give you some of this big penis.

He would say, I am choosing not to have sex with anyone of you.

Say, I hate the way.

He would say, I hate the way I feel when they're body body-to-body with me.

I hate the way I lose control.

Even though he looks like sperm and an egg.

Well, here we go.

Here's a quote.

Here's a quote from Himmler's college diary.

And if you put this quote next to somebody else's face, you might be confused as to who said it.

A woman is loved by a real man in three ways.

As a beloved child that one must argue with or even punish, as a wife who shares your struggle without shackling you, as a goddess whose feet one must kiss.

Yes.

And so, yeah, there's a guy probably put it right next to his face.

You probably know exactly who I'm referring to.

It's exactly what I mean when I say that, you know, these not so easy to compare these like extreme conservatives and extreme right-wing thinkers to the Nazis because they're all coming from the exact same place.

Yeah,

butthurt virgins that can't make friends, can't do anything, they suck at everything, and so they want to destroy the world and bring it down to their shitty little level.

I mean, that's partly that.

It's partly that, but I think that only is a small, that's only a fraction of these people.

Oh, get me.

I know.

Oh, I know.

I'm just staying at it for frustration.

Now, during college, the only time Himmler came close to a relationship was an obsession with a young woman named Maja, whom Hitler claimed to have gained considerable influence over through the use of hypnosis.

Despite his hypnotic charms, however, Himmler and Maja remained, as he wrote in his diary, just friends.

I was just trying to challenge my own virginity.

And my virginity one.

I like you because you sound like Maza.

Maza.

Now, after Heinrich graduated with a fucking agriculture diploma in 1922, owing to his teenage obsession with somehow becoming a Germanic warrior farmer, Himmler took a low-paying office job in Munich until he could afford to buy his own farm.

In his spare time, he participated in hollow military exercises with the German Reserve Army.

You could just see him with his like body armor that he bought off of Amazon.

Like, you could see all these guys playing ice.

It's like all the same shit.

Yeah.

Because of Himmler's piddling services, he would denounce any of his peers who had not participated in the military.

While considering his own experiences in the military, in which he whined to his mother about not writing him often enough, he considered those to be heroic.

He said he had a very.

Himmler had an extra, what you'd call an extraordinarily good self-image.

Yes.

Himmler also continued to fail in the realm of romance and once remarked to a peer that he actually despised women.

Yes, he despised them.

Specifically, Heinrich would write obsessively in his diary about a pretty waitress who was living a life of moral depravity, which Himmler believed he could alleviate simply by giving her money.

Again and again, Himmler adopted the Madonna whore viewpoint when it came to women.

He considered flirting, kissing, and sex above all to be wicked.

And he thought that people who indulged in sexual acts for any reason other than procreation were simply giving in to their animalistic side, which was not very German at all.

I actually asked my therapist for what this would be called, and he couldn't give me something.

The idea of like a gateway idea.

This is like one of those gateway ideas.

This is like one of those things that, like, if you can learn to hate one person, I can teach you how to hate ten.

Like, it seems like it's one of those where, because it's interesting, right?

This hatred for women really just comes from his own,

like, incel-like nature.

Well, it's just his own frustrations and his inability to connect with anyone.

But then he uses that as another way.

So later on, when he will subjugate women and blah blah blah kind of stuff, he will use this as another.

It's a way to get a 15-year-old boy in the door.

Sure.

This is a thought that puts a 15-year-old boy at the foot of all the other thoughts.

But it's also

very much about his attachment disorder and his expectations and women never meeting those expectations.

But because he has no sense of real self and no sense of, like, he can't understand that's a him problem.

He wants to change the literal government.

He wants to change the world's government in order to reflect those ideas.

Exactly what we're saying.

Again, it's the problem.

It's not just like, oh my God, I should dress better.

Oh, my God, I should learn to play the piano.

It's the world needs to change.

Women are horse.

Yeah, he can monologue.

He can't listen.

Yes.

Well, for Himmler's part, his ideal woman was untouchable and totally desexualized, with an attitude towards covetousness that was just as chaste and strict as his own.

In his dreams, Himmler fantasized about a woman who would gladly join his quest to Germanize the lands of Eastern Europe as a settler.

She would be a nurse, a mother, and a sister figure, all while avoiding any erotic or threatening femininity that served any purpose other than to propagate the German race.

In turn, women mocked Heinrich Himmler and openly called him a eunuch.

Oh, very much so.

Because this idea, because guess what it sounds like?

I mean, it sounds the idea that women are just supposed to be baby factories.

That's all they're supposed to be.

they're supposed to just father the armies of the nazis well baby factories and you know they they must keep the house in order they must make him dinner make sure he's okay milk yeah milk the cows it's definitely it's all subservience now around 1922 himmler's diary entries displayed a massive uptick in anti-semitism and he also began to write quite a bit about how much he hated homosexuals whom he considered degenerate.

Himmler also started referring to himself with his weak chin and pigeon chest as a so-called true Aryan.

I think he was right.

Now one of the reasons.

I think he is the true Aryan.

Now one of the reasons why Himmler's anti-Semitism increased in 1922 is because that was the year that hyperinflation hit Germany.

Because of the extraordinarily short-sighted conditions of the Versailles Treaty, which placed most of the blame and responsibility for World War I on Germany, the country owed massive reparations.

In order to pay these reparations to other countries, the ruling government figured, fuck it, why don't we just print more money?

That'll solve everything.

Why hasn't anyone ever thought of this before?

It's money.

Just make more of it.

This is, of course, a stupid idea.

And pretty soon, the price of goods in Germany increased by literally 10 million percent.

In 1923, one dollar was equal to 4.2 trillion Reich marks.

I'll always remember those pictures when we went to go see after the fact when they had split up the country.

This is afterwards like the idea of big wheelbarrows filled with money.

Yeah.

That they were burning to keep the houses warm.

Yes.

Fuck.

Now the Himmler family lost much of their wealth due to hyperinflation.

And the right-wing extremists that Heinrich already followed began saying that a cabal of Jewish bankers were somehow profiting off all the misery hyperinflation caused.

It's at this point that the answer to any problem in Himmler's life, as I said, was, oh, of course, it's the Jews.

As if Protestants and Catholics won't steal your fucking money.

It's crazy to think that a Catholics wouldn't try to get a fucking chunk of that shit.

You guys are crazy.

Yeah, you mean the organization that demands 10% of its followers?

Seriously.

Yeah.

And it's like at the rest of it.

Or let's go over to all the fucking televangelists who are constantly asking people for money and telling them that if you don't give them money, you're going to go to hell.

And the only way to get to heaven is to give them money.

Industrialists make money on a world collapse.

So these guys are all doing it.

It's not just the Jewish people.

It's a lot of guys look like you, Himmler.

But as a result, Heinrich Himmler began associating with even more far-right extremists who were railing against what they believed was the grand communist-Jewish plot behind the whole thing.

The source of it all was the ruling government, known to history as the Weimar Republic.

Founded as Germany's first attempt at democracy, the Weimar Republic was what replaced the throne when Kaiser Wilhelm abdicated after his defeat at the end of World War I.

You know what I mean?

Filled troll.

Basically, an uprising of workers and veterans bloodlessly took over Germany and established a parliamentary system much like England's, then combined it with an American-style presidency.

Now, the moderates of the Weimar Republic beat out the communists, who were also trying to grab power after the Second Reich fell.

But while on paper, the Weimar Republic was one of the most liberal governments of its time, gave women the right to vote, it declared all Germans equal, it gave every German the right to free expression.

Mistake, mistake, mistake.

All this did was make these guys angry.

Yeah.

It was effectively a centrist government that pleased no one.

As a result, the Weimar Republic in the early years had to deal with not only massive inflation, but a fair amount of attempted coups by paramilitary groups on the right and the left, in addition to its continued diplomatic isolation, because the whole world was still really pissed off about World War I.

It was a bad one.

Yeah, it was a really bad one.

The world was still very pissed off about it, and a lot of them still blamed Germany.

Now, Himmler took the hyperinflation of the early 20s personally once again, because with his agriculture degree, the best job he could get in the economic climate was a low-paying job working for a fertilizer company.

I didn't want to work at the poo-poo store.

I purchased from the poo-poo store.

Additionally, Himmler had no friends and no romantic prospects.

I don't want them, they're gross.

In other words, Heinrich Himmler was pissed off at anything and everything.

But in 1922, Himmler heard tell of another group of miscreants, where his anger and conspiracy theories would enable him to finally fit in somewhere.

This group was just one of the numerous extreme right-wing anti-Semitic paramilitary groups in Germany at this time.

But this group had a massive advantage.

In effect, this group had just drafted the LeBron James of hateful charismatic leaders, the one man who was going to grab everyone's attention and push this group to the top.

The group was, of course, the Nazi Party, and their stock in Germany was rising quickly due to their star speaker, Adolf Hitler.

Y'all, I am bringing my talents down

to South Beach.

I like Heinrich Himmler because he looks like my one testicle.

But it's true.

It's like he was kind of banding about and he was like the guy.

Hitler was the guy.

He was the Chevy Chase.

Yeah.

Also, I hate that we say party all the time.

I know.

It's a political party.

I hate that one.

Now, Hitler's ideas had mostly been taken from the German return to nature Volkisch movement that we mentioned earlier.

It's the same one that got Himmler so excited, where every German was supposed to start a farm, have as many babies as possible, and defend their country when necessary.

Hitler also believed, like Himmler, that Jews and communism were inextricably linked and had to be exterminated, while the Slavs of Eastern Europe were destined to be a race of sterilized slaves who would get the warrior farmers on their feet before dying out completely.

Please leave us alone.

I really do, man.

Everything America's.

I feel fucking super fucking foreign in this.

Yes, yes.

It's nice.

Yes, I feel very American and British at the same time.

Yeah, dude.

Both men believed that the most dangerous ideas in human history were pacifism, socialism, and democracy.

This is the opposite, though.

Yep.

And they scoffed at any pretensions towards humanism.

In other words, they were both massive dickheads in every way possible.

And Himmler was immediately attracted to the ideas being espoused by the Nazi party.

He's like finally not the main dickhead.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

You can go there and be like, oh my god, they're bigger dickheads than me.

And they do worse stuff than me.

No one, dude, no one's a bigger dickhead than Heinrich Himmler.

I know he's gonna be like, oh, wait till they fucking want I'm in there.

Yeah, yeah.

Now by the time Himmler came along in 1922, the Nazi Party was well on its way.

Hitler had joined in 1919 when it was still called the German Workers' Party.

He was member number 555.

Although the party had started its membership numbers at 500 to make them seem like they were much more popular than they really were.

Well, you've seen they were liars?

They were liars.

He was actually member number 55.

Within two years, the Nazi membership, however, went from 55 to 2,000, mostly because of Hitler.

He was elected their leader in 1921, and the swastika, borrowed from the Tule Society, was adopted as the party's official symbol.

By the end of the year, Hitler was speaking for crowds of up to 6,000 people.

And by the time Himmler started coming around, the Nazis' membership had exploded to more than 20,000 people who had mostly been lured in by Hitler's speeches.

People like action.

This is one of those things that I think we're kind of even seeing now.

Like people like fast action and are easily fooled by fast action.

I think that somebody like Hitler, what he does is offer fast action.

It's a simple solution.

It's easy answers, fast action.

And people are amazed because they're used to bureaucratic red tape.

And nobody likes and they always joke and hate about the idea of government's red tape.

Even though the reason why the red tape is there is to sort of like do the thing the governments are supposed to do.

Called checks and balances.

And calling the people and see how it works and creating coalitions, doing all this dumb shit stuff that takes a long time.

Makes everybody angry and upset.

Hitler's like, what if I just take all that out?

Yeah, what if I just did it?

Like, that actually, that is kind of Hitler in a nutshell.

What if I just did it and it didn't matter what, what didn't matter what the consequences were to the people you don't like?

Because then we're doing it.

And I'm just doing it.

Yeah.

See, Hitler had actually joined the Nazis as a spy for the German army, who were investigating various extremist organizations due to all the paramilitary coups that the Weimar Republic was constantly batting away.

As a result, Hitler had infiltrated several political movements prior to discovering the German Workers' Party, and he'd learned something from all of them.

He's sort of like, you know, we talk about Jim Jones.

He went to every single church in his town and paid attention to every single one.

Hitler did the exact same shit.

From the Social Democratic Party, Hitler said he learned how to manipulate crowds and how to destroy opposition through constant attack.

He wrote, quote, I understood the infamous spiritual terror which this movement exerts.

At a given sign, it unleashes a veritable barrage of lies and slanders against whatever adversary seems most dangerous until the nerves of the attacked persons break down.

This is a tactic based on the precise calculation of all human weaknesses, and its result will lead to success with almost mathematical certainty.

And he is a hundred percent correct.

A hundred percent correct.

This tactic is still used today.

By who?

Hitler also understood that the way to win over the public was to keep things simple.

If you have just a few straightforward ideas that you ceaselessly hammer into people's brains and pair them with recognizable symbols, pageantry, and colors that arouse them, it will make people feel like everything's going to be all right.

Lock her up.

Yep,

lock her up.

Use songs that people know, that make people feel comfortable.

This has been used to great effect in recent American history.

Simple, straightforward ideas that you say again and again and again.

And the whole thing, and that's the thing about Hitler.

Farts lead to shit.

Yeah, well,

farts do lead to shit.

That's right.

But that's the thing about Hitler is that you really got to understand about this, is that it's not about that Hitler made, you know, that he, of course, did create hate within people, but the feeling that Hitler,

the feeling that Hitler created in the German people is the same feeling that people are responding to now.

Everything's going to be okay.

Everything's going to be fine.

And then they're telling us that everything is okay.

Yeah.

And then everything's good.

Yeah, everything is okay.

But everything's going to be fine.

Everything's going to go back to the way it was, even though the way it was never actually fucking existed in the first place.

You were just young.

Why was he screaming it?

Yeah, that is true.

Why was he screaming it?

You know, sing a song.

Yeah.

Rap.

My name's Adolf Hitler, and he ought to say, I'm going stings into a Nazi like wait.

Is that the only way I knew I knew knew it?

The only way I knew.

Additionally, Hitler knew that acts of terror and violence, if successful, would attract people who wanted to feel a sense of power.

This was extraordinarily attractive to a lot of young German men in 1922 who were coming off a humiliating defeat in World War I and had little future to speak of in Germany economically.

He used to take, he got to take the momentum of a bunch of guys that just got done killing a bunch of people in a field and now they have no idea what to do with all that energy.

He now gets to use those guys also.

But he also was able to get guys like Himmler who never got to be in the war.

Exactly.

That wanted a little taste.

Well, because the guys who were actually in the war in Germany at this time, they actually looked at the trenches very nostalgically.

Like they looked at it as like that was the time of glory.

That was the time whenever, like, when in England and America, they're like, that's the worst fucking thing that ever fucking happened.

Let's go.

Because it was bad.

It was fully awful.

Because it was bad and we were right.

And it's not glorifying to die in a trench.

It actually sucks.

yeah you want to die really on a slip and slide yeah you want to you want to die like anywhere else but in a trench yeah but in germany they didn't think of it that way they they would talk about how glorious it was how wonderful it was how we should return to that it's a fantasy that wasn't real yes and there were all these younger guys like heinrich himmler that were like oh god like i wish i could have done that i wish i could have had that so when it came time to go to war there were a lot of people like oh this is my chance i can have the same glory that those guys in the great war had also everyone's so poor right now in germany extremely so and so when you get to that you get extremely desperate and you start making irrational decisions we see that with people in this country right now

exactly this tactic of playing on the hopelessness of disenfranchised young men has been used to great effect here in america in the last few years but it's by people who are simply looking for clout or influence we call it the manosphere But the difference between then and now is that the young men of 1920s Germany have been raised with the same extreme brutality that Himmler had been raised with.

So they had absolutely no problem meeting out violence whenever they were told that violence was the solution.

This, thankfully, isn't the case in America anymore, because while we may be conditioned to accept violence, we've been conditioned to accept gun violence, and we've been conditioned to accept it as a way to protect our freedoms.

It's passive.

We're also constantly told that gun violence is wrong, and the people who perpetrate it are routinely vilified.

So the difference here is that while young men are being recruited, they're being recruited to buy products and like and subscribe because they are not conditioned to commit violence on a Nazi Germany scale.

What we're seeing though is on the other side, which is a soft encouragement versus hard encouragement is what I would put it in this way.

And we're in stochastic terrorism.

Instead of saying like, hey, like the Nazis and the stormtroopers were told to beat people up.

Go out there, they're communists, go beat them up, kill them if you have to.

These guys are being told now that they're, what they're doing is on the news, everyone's saying it's bad, don't do that.

They go on the internet, and memes are telling them it's hilarious.

And the memes are coming from inside the house.

Yes.

The memes are literally coming from people within these organizations that are using those memes to, you know, what was it, 764?

That other group, we have that group.

We have Order of the Nine Angles.

Listen to my episode on Panic World about for more about 764.

And so we have these things that are also then actively happening, but it's just they're going to the same guys and appealing them in ways that are specifically, but no, all of these groups are hunting for young men.

Memes are news for people who can't read full sentences.

Yes.

Yes.

Now, Hitler did not rise to power alone, and many of the most famous shitheads of the Nazi Party were recruited during these early days in the 1920s.

As far as Heinrich Himmler went, he was brought in by an early ally of Hitler's who would, of course, not survive the inevitable purges that come with these sorts of movements.

The man who brought in Himmler was an actual World War I veteran who'd lost his fucking nose during the war.

Cut your nose.

Cut your nose.

Give it back.

Here's your nose back.

This noseless man was an absolute fucking bruiser named Ernst Röhm.

Röhm was an excellent organizer, a strong leader, and he utterly lacked any sort of moral compass, which were all qualities that Heinrich Himmler appreciated.

It's actually quite interesting he has no moral compass because actually our personal body compasses are actually in our nose.

There's tiny deposits of iron in men's noses more so than women.

That's why technically they believe that men have more of an ability to naturally find direction is because we have more of that iron content in our nose.

And so technically he would have even less of a moral compass without the nose.

Interesting.

Oh, that is interesting.

And, you know, Himmler probably liked him because with all all of his belly issues, he could fart around him.

Yeah.

I remember being like.

And he's just like, I could still taste it in my covert teeth.

Rome also had an extreme capacity for violence.

He believed that Germany was going to be won basically through street fighting.

And he was kind of right.

I mean, that was one of the big advantages of the Nazi Party was that they had roving bands of psychopaths that would just walk through the streets of Germany and beat the shit out of anybody who didn't fall in line.

It was never a law that you had to hile Hitler every time you saw somebody else, but if you didn't hile Hitler, then one of Chrome's men would beat you half to death, if not beat you to death.

It's not just, that wasn't just a fucking Downtown Abbey storyline.

It happened.

Well, also, they learned to separate the two.

What they would do is

the stormtroopers became an unofficial side group to the main Nazi crew, right?

Because for a while, Hitler was saying, I don't run the stormtroopers.

Yes.

Oh, very much so.

Yes.

He was at the plausible deniability.

Yes.

Rome's capacity for violence made him the perfect man to co-found the Nazis' first paramilitary wing, the Sturm Ab Teilung, aka the SA.

But history knows them better as the Stormtroopers.

Now, remember, the Stormtroopers, they're not a part of the government.

No.

Not in any way whatsoever.

They're not soldiers.

They're just fucking guys.

They're kids.

Yeah, guys and kids.

Yeah.

It's proud boys.

Yes.

Now, under Chrome's leadership.

Again, if they wish.

Now, under Grome's leadership, the SA made several attempts to violently overthrow local governments throughout the Weimar Republic in the early years of the Nazi Party.

They also carried out several assassinations across the political spectrum, including the murders of rival right-wing extremists.

Between 1919 and 1923, right-wing Greikhops like the SA killed 354 people and politically motivated murders, while only 22 murders were committed by left-wing groups in the same time period.

Step it up!

But just just like today,

because there were some murders committed by left-wing provocateurs, the right-wing was extraordinarily good at convincing anyone who would listen that it was actually the leftists who represented the real danger, even though their own people were committing murders at 16 times the rate.

Interesting.

Isn't it?

Isn't it?

Now, in the early days of the Nazi Party, Hitler was not the infallible Führer that he would one day become.

Men like Ernst Rome, I just, God, I love saying it.

Yeah, and I know I sound like an asshole, but I loved saying his name properly.

You're allowed.

Ernst Rom.

Who's Rome?

Rome, in particular, would disagree with Hitler because Hitler believed that the military should be subservient to Nazi ideology, while Rome thought that the military should come first and everything else was secondary.

Both men, however, hated Jews and communists.

Hey, so as long as they can get along, that's really what it is, about finding compromise.

It did unify them for a surprisingly long period of time.

That's just nice to hear.

But really, Hitler put up with Rome because he desperately needed Rome's connection.

I also like how every time he puts on some glasses, see four to his bottom lip.

I'll always lift.

That fahawei did we only have one jack-o'-lantern.

We can't lose our jack-o'-lantern.

I hear you talking about me in the last room.

Jacqueline Rom.

I did good things.

The bastard stole my nose.

Rom was a war hero who had deep connections to the military, and he wore his resume literally on his face.

You could see what he had sacrificed.

While Hitler's military experience made him little more than a so-called jumped-up corporal, as I said earlier, that's what all of the guys who ran Germany's military, that's what they looked at.

That's what, even like, you know, they didn't take him seriously.

Yeah, even von Hindenburg, the German president.

That's what he called him when Hitler started gaining power.

He's like, who's this jumped-up little corporal?

Well, when he first met him, he was like, get him away from me.

Yes, that was most people's reaction to Hitler was, get this man away from me until some of the aristocrats and some of the more right-wing people decided, like, oh, no, we can use him.

And again,

use them.

Yeah, watch Rise of the Nazis on BBC, honestly, really does explain this really well.

Yeah, BBC Select Rise of the Nazis, it's my favorite Nazi documentary series ever.

It's incredible.

It's his favorite.

Yes, it is.

That is is my not.

That's my, the Nazi show that I mentioned earlier.

When he makes love to Carolina each night, the beginning of it is the Dutch Land DuPod.

No,

not even close.

It has nothing to do with a sex like our sex.

Yeah, they only listen to Can.

Yeah.

Grom also had connections to weapons and explosive manufacturers who were far more likely to make a deal with someone like him rather than, say, a failed artist whose biggest military accomplishment was getting gassed and blinded at the end of the war.

That would be Hitler.

I couldn't see.

Which is why I changed the name of the group.

You know, Rome, he could take the gas.

But it was these connections and more that made Hitler ignore a very large part of Ernst Röhm's life.

See, Ernst Röhm lived as an openly gay man in the Weimar Republic.

He attended gay nightclubs without shame.

He held membership in an organization that supported gay rights.

Men, don't think this makes him fucking cool.

It doesn't.

He's still Ernst Gromm.

It's like, no, it's just this, what?

You're like, oh,

he's been like, I know this is the best part about my experiences in World War One.

Yeah.

I now got two holes in my face.

He has an asshole on his face.

GP my head.

Someone come and come in my fucking brain.

I'm gay as hell and I'm ready for head sex.

Come in my brain.

I don't know why.

Come in my brain.

It's gosh, I'm going to be thinking about that for days.

Yeah, just being like, ow, ow, I keep hitting my penis on your nostril bones.

See, while Weimar Germany was more open about homosexuality than, say, America at the time, it was still a don't-ass, don't-tell situation.

Although the Weimar Republic was still famously swinging and comparatively progressive.

Yeah, it was awesome.

There were very few openly gay men, but gay clubs weren't explicitly banned, and major political parties actually worked to decriminalize homosexuality.

The laws were never passed, of course, but the point is they still tried.

Ironically, though, the Nazi Party was the predominant party against gay rights, even though one of their top men was openly gay.

Never wanted to let a contradiction stop them, though.

The Nazis would use Rome to recruit people who might be on the fence about the conservatism of the Nazis.

The Nazis would point to Rome and say, hey, dude, we're cool.

We got a fucking, we got a gay dude.

And he's a totally badass gay dude too.

He don't got a nose or nothing.

No, dude.

That guy better be hot as hell.

Like, that's what I'm saying.

No, he's not.

No, but that's what I'm saying.

If you're going to have a major gay Nazi, I want that guy to be hot.

Yeah.

I don't want him to have no nose.

Sell me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, he was a hefty man as well.

Yeah, I want somebody.

Yeah, dude.

I don't want an expert level gay.

I want an entry-level gay.

Yeah, but the thing is, is that, you know, the fucking, you know, the right-wingers are still doing this today.

I mean, they did it with fucking Milo Yiannopoulos.

Like, oh, no, look, we've got a gay guy.

Oh, no, they'll have like...

Look, there are gay guys here.

It's fine.

It's great.

No, we're cool.

Don't worry about it.

You know who's noticed how they push the three black people they have behind Trump.

Yes.

Like they push him right behind his beach and stuff like that because they're like, see, look.

Yeah, it's always that see look.

Yeah.

Now, Heinrich Himmler met Ernst Rome in 1922, but Rome did not immediately bring Himmler into the Nazis.

Like Hitler, Rome was a member of several right-wing groups.

So Himmler was brought into a right-wing paramilitary group that allied itself with the Nazis called the Reichs Reichskriegsflauge or Reich Warflag.

I don't wanna have a problem to get members.

And from what it seems like, Himmler was not necessarily a Hitler stand like so many others in Germany.

In fact, Hitler doesn't even make an appearance in Himmler's diary until February of 1924.

This is interesting because Himmler had formally joined the Nazi Party six months earlier.

So he definitely knew Hitler personally long before that.

But I think this points towards my assumption that for Heinrich Himmler, the ideas of the Nazi Party were far more important than the leader, who, in Himmler's mind, was just a means to an end.

He's the guy that can get this shit done.

They're all view him as somebody that can control, which is because in the end, you know, as we know,

they don't succeed, you know, like, which will get.

They succeed for a while.

But the idea is that they, you know, just interesting, because even in his own mind, he just thinks, like, we'll get through this Hitler stage.

Yeah.

It's kind of how Cheney used Bush.

Yeah.

Now, frustratingly, there was actually a moment in time when Hitler's right-wing movement might have been stopped before it gained too much steam.

This moment came when Hitler figured he had enough men to do what so many others had tried and failed to do before.

Hitler was going to make a run for a coup with the infamous Beer Hall Pusht of 1923.

During this short failed attempt, thousands of Nazi stormtroopers marched with Hitler through the streets of Munich the day after Hitler had taken over a political rally in a Beerhall.

I love the name of the Beer Hall, Berger Braukele, with 600 of his goons and a machine gun.

The capture of the Beer Hall had filled Hitler with a false sense of confidence.

He figured he had it in the bag.

But when he marched to the center of Munich to fully take over the Bavarian government the the next day, the Bavarian paramilitary opened fire with many machine guns and killed 16 Nazis, while three of their own were killed as well.

Hitler ran away, barely injured, while top Nazi Hermann Göring was badly wounded in the groin.

God you should have got shot in the fucking dick.

Hitler was tracked down and sent to prison, but even though his actions had led to the deaths of 19 people, he was given the incredibly light sentence of five years.

Five years.

It is fascinating, though, because, like, right there and then, the whole thing could have been over.

Yeah.

Right there and then, the whole thing could have been over if they had really

put the boot down on him, which they try to do several times.

And then after this, we'll see.

Well, they do.

They will try.

There will be a giant emergency attempt at some point to stop the rolling train.

And it's already too late.

It is far too late.

By the time they realize they can't control Hitler and that he's not just useful, it's way too late.

Oh, yeah.

Now, since Himmler wasn't fully into the Nazis just yet, he did not participate directly in the beer hole push with Hitler.

Instead, he was with Ernst Röhm and his men that day.

They actually, they were the only ones who had the the only successful action of the putsch.

Like they occupied the war ministry by barricading themselves in with barbed wire and machine guns.

This group, however, negotiated a peaceful end with the Bavarian paramilitary.

Rhome was arrested, but Himmler was allowed to go free, although he lost his job and had to move back in with his parents because of his involvement with the coup.

But this is the key.

This is like one of the big keys is Himmler going back to live with his parents.

Yes.

Yeah, in their basement.

So as the year ticked over to 1924, Hitler was in jail, the Nazis were banned by the government, and Ernst Röhm had left the party soon after the coup over an argument he had with Hitler, although he would return six years later.

You know what he did?

He went and he he ran the Bolivian army for a while.

Whoa!

Yeah, he was actually like the proto, like, yeah, let's go to South America.

Let's check that out.

Let's check this out.

Oh, actually, it's got a knives.

Hold on.

He killed Butch at Sundance?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Whoa, what if he did?

Well, this was the moment when life was looking up in Germany.

While things weren't perfect or even all that stable, the Weimar Republic had finally started to gain its footing as a legitimate power that could provide an actual life for the German people.

The economic and political systems have begun to stabilize.

Germany joined the League of Nations in an attempt to return to the world stage and the German people were creating incredible art, movies, and music.

While Hitler was in prison writing his bullshit fucking book, the people of Germany were enjoying Bertholt Brecht's Three Penny Opera, Fritz Lang's Metropolis, and the surrealist masterpieces of Max Ernst.

And this is just three examples of all kinds of incredible art coming out of Germany in the 20s.

In other words, it looked like Germany might be on a comeback, having narrowly missed a right-wing takeover.

But tragically, in an example of how the world has been interconnected for well over a century, despite claims that globalization is a relatively recent phenomenon, the Weimar Republic was absolutely fucking destroyed by America's Great Depression.

How?

Since everything is kind of interconnected, you know, there are people that, you know, Americans that had invested in Germany, you know, that, and since all of these things, you know, were kind of, you know, since all these things were related to each other, when America's economy fell, Germany's economy absolutely fell apart.

Well, they were also like the first, that was like an extension of us in a way, too.

We were all over Germany at that point.

We were deeply extended.

So when all of that went down, we were doing all sorts of, once we were knocked out, because we were the new financial superpower, and then all of a sudden we're knocked off the board.

Yeah.

And the consequences of the Great Depression, they actually hit Germany harder than even America due to the fragile nature of the Weimar Republic.

Their unemployment was far worse than ours was.

Hyperinflation came back, and the return of economic instability allowed the far-right parties like the Nazis back inside just as they were about to be kicked into the dustbin of history.

They were able to say, look, this is what you get with the Weimar Republic, even though it had nothing to do with the Weimar Republic.

It had everything to do with the greed of America.

American American stockbrokers, you know, doing what they did that led to the Great Depression.

But they were able, the Nazis were, and these right-wing folks are able to use anything and everything and say, look, this is why things are bad.

Give it to us.

We're going to make it better.

We're going to make it great again.

Everything's going to be fine if you only give us all the power in the world.

And in the end, Hitler ended up serving nine months for starting a coup that resulted in the deaths of 19 people.

Additionally, Hitler gained another victory in February of 1925 when the ban on the Nazi Party was lifted after Hitler made a solemn promise to, quote, obey the law.

See, and that's, I mean, that's as good as a, you better want to hold on to some of these IOUs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it was for Lamborghini.

You might want to hold on to that.

But while Hitler had been in prison, Heinrich Himmler had done what a lot of frustrated, unemployed young men who had to move back and what their parents have done over the decades.

He immersed himself in the occult.

Yay!

And that's where we'll pick back up next week for part two.

That's where Ol Sabrowski comes in.

Hitler's out of jail.

Himmler's getting into the occult, and shit's about to really start popping off in Nazi Germany.

It's about to become Nazi Germany.

I can smell the vrilla bubbling.

It's tossed salad and scrambled eggs.

This is good.

I don't know what to do.

Tossalads and scrambled eggs.

This is only the beginning.

Scrambled eggs all over

by me.

Patreon.com/slash last podcast on the left.

Watch that Nazi information roll on by.

What is a boy to do?

What is a boy to do?

Come check out patreon.com.

Watch us talk about Nazis live.

Go to LP on the left and watch us do social media about Nazis for the next month and a half.

It's not much more evil.

Looking for new merch and new ideas, send them down the pipe.

And then go to our YouTube channels and check out all our new shit at LPN TV, someplace underneath, LPN Romance.

See, No Dogs in Space and The Foreign Report.

Hell yeah, man.

And we're coming out.

We're coming to you, motherfuckers.

We're going to be in Milwaukee really soon on October 11th at the Paps Theater.

Come check us out there.

And then we're going to be in Oakland on October 25th at the Fox Theater.

And then, all right, Cleveland, rescheduled official.

This is official.

This is official.

We are coming on the same day, November 29th.

We're going to Akron at the Goodyear Theater.

Nobody's happy about this.

No, not even the people of Akron.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nobody's happy about this.

It's not our fault.

We did the best we could.

We tried, but yeah, Akron's the best we could do.

Yeah, so we're going to be, it's only 40 minutes away, so please still come out to the show.

If you had tickets in Cleveland, you will be able to transfer them over, correct?

I believe that that is true.

Yeah.

Yes.

All right.

If not, you can flood our emails and yell at us.

We honestly don't because we have no control over that.

You have to actually go to where you got the tickets and get them refunded.

It's Henry's fault.

No, it's not his fault.

I decided.

He did this.

He was the close down in the theater.

I specifically need to say we can't control.

We don't know anything about the tickets.

Please, for the love of Christ, go to where they gave you the tickets.

We'll help you.

I'm going to go ahead and say they sent you an email.

Read it carefully.

Good night,

email

is going to clearly tell you what you need to do.

We don't know.

Henry's phone number is 513.

And of course, we're coming to Portland Revolution Hall December 12th and 13th.

We got more dates coming.

Also, if you are in Wisconsin, I'm doing an extra show while we're in town.

On October 12th, I'm going to the Comedy on State with my buddy Logan Metz from The Promise of the Real.

It's going to be a badass show.

Come check us out there.

That's it.

Love it.

All right.

Well, Hail Satan.

On Hal Geen.

You know what, honestly?

I've learned nothing.

Yes.

How am I not surprised?

Gonna keep barreling forward exactly as I was.

I got a good hail today, guys.

Hail the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp.

Yeah, two, three, four.

We are the Jumbo Shrimp.

Here to play a game.

Oh,

champions.

Minor league champions.

2025.

Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp.

Way to get them, boys.

One more.

Two, three, four.

We are the jumbo shrimp.

Here to play again.

Marching in single file.

Shrimp stepping their way.

You know what I'll say?

You know what's nice?

Is that shrimp?

It's a kosher meat.

Yeah.

You know?

No, it's not.

It's the opposite.

You

They can't have shrimp.

They actually can't have shrimp.

That's another hateful thing that we've done today.

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Hi, listeners.

Marcus Edd and Henry here with a little bit of an announcement.

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