Side Stories: The Slenderman Escape

Speaker 1 Struggling to see up close? Make it visible with Viz. Viz is a once-daily prescription eye drop to treat blurry near vision for up to 10 hours.

Speaker 1 The most common side effects that may be experienced while using Viz include eye irritation, temporary dim or dark vision, headaches, and eye redness.

Speaker 1 Talk to an eye doctor to learn if Viz is right for you. Learn more at Viz.com.

Speaker 2 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. They go perfectly with music,

Speaker 2 podcasts, and welcome back to the show. Even nature sounds.

Speaker 2 Oh, and the thing where someone crinkles tissue and whispers at you.

Speaker 1 Hello. Look, I'm not here to judge what you listen to.

Speaker 2 I'm here to judge you for not eating Reese's while you listen to it. Reese's.

Speaker 2 Ashley, go back to the nature sounds.

Speaker 2 Nice. Yeah, that's really nice.

Speaker 3 Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know, one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to the big man up north.

Speaker 3 And this year, he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month.

Speaker 1 Now, you don't even need to wrap it.

Speaker 3 Give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.

Speaker 4 Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow after 35 gigabytes if network's busy.

Speaker 4 Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com.

Speaker 2 There's no place to escape to.

Speaker 1 This is the last podcast. On the left.

Speaker 1 Side stories?

Speaker 2 Bloodmill

Speaker 2 That's when the cannibalism started.

Speaker 1 Side stories. Yes.

Speaker 1 Man, I was so good for months. Good about what? My food.
Oh, that kind of good. I'd lost like seven pounds.
Yeah. I was just like, you and I were so good.
It's Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 You're not supposed to be good. I don't care about it.
Obviously, yeah, sure, whatever. But it was like, you and I, Eddie, we just were so good.
You've lost so much weight. You look so healthy.

Speaker 1 Not right now, though.

Speaker 1 I put some back on. But we did on purpose.
It's on purpose. But Eddie and I, this weekend,

Speaker 1 let's just say we went out for a Thanksgiving bunch of shows. Yeah.
Thanksgiving weekend. Can't believe that we braved our own holiday travel like we did this to ourselves.
Took a car.

Speaker 1 We were going to go. Well, I drove across three states.
You love it. Full John Candy experience.
And Eddie and I are both like, we're going to be healthy. We're going to be so healthy.

Speaker 1 We're going to do. And then holy

Speaker 1 shit. It's just impossible to do in Ohio.
Ohio happened to us. Yeah.
Now, I

Speaker 1 expected, it's been a while since I've been to Ohio. And I think that I've only really been to Cincinnati and Cleveland.
So I've never been to any other place. You never partied in Columbus before?

Speaker 1 Not what? No.

Speaker 1 No, it's it's it's a quiet town largely when we go we've been in the middle of winter it's like we're packed i remember columbus being a place where i specifically watched hours of chris chan footage oh you look that's that makes sense yeah inside of my hotel room and didn't leave but this time eddie we found so

Speaker 1 much

Speaker 1 There was so much.

Speaker 1 We ate such big fics.

Speaker 1 We went to Luigi's. Luigi's in Akron, Ohio is one of the better Italian restaurants I've ever been to.
In terms of Midwest Italian, because that's hard.

Speaker 1 That's a weird thing. Ohio's got good Italian food.
Yes. The mob ran through there and they left some good food behind.
Luigi's was one thing. That was one thing.
Oh my God. Well, we had it twice.

Speaker 1 Yes. Because we had it both.
Because we had to try the pizza. Because we didn't have the pizza first.
We just had the baked platters.

Speaker 1 They gave us, they said it was like 3,000 pounds of cheese a week, but they said something like 300 pounds of of cheese a week.

Speaker 1 She was bragging about killing us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that was incredible. I ordered the salad without cheese and the sadness on this woman's face.

Speaker 1 She was just like, I was just, yeah, I was just like, all right, I guess I'll get the cheese. And she's like, thank you.
Yeah, because she thanked me. It's four lettuce leaves and a slice of tomato.

Speaker 1 Without the cheese, it's not anything.

Speaker 1 And she knew that, but she didn't want to say that. But God, I would just say the salt of the earth.
I then went to a place called Fred's Diner that was in the middle.

Speaker 1 It was this little shitty little house that was about 15 minutes from where Jeffrey Dahmer was born. And you could taste it.
And I listened. So like people? Oh, yeah.
I went and I got a little steak.

Speaker 1 I got a steak and eggs, right? And I listened to those old mean women behind the counter bitch at each other. They were tearing each other to pieces.
One was turning to the others.

Speaker 1 Being like, I can't believe that Rita forgot to order the goddamn Pepsi. And we're like, what kind of bitch stack steroid like this?

Speaker 1 And then I was like, but by then, I fell in love with them i felt i watched them i was there for like an hour i fell in love with them i invited them all to the show and they what happened they didn't come they couldn't come but the head waitress was like yeah but don't worry it's a really nice venue i saw pantera there last year and i was just like that's like fucking holy we're in some hard ass chicks dude dude this whole town i just can't believe how much you guys lied to us about akron who lied everybody i mean cincinnati was trying to talk shit on akron i was in cincinnati for thanksgiving and they were all like why are you going to Akron?

Speaker 1 Akron fucking sucks. All this shit.
I get to Akron. Lovely fucking place.
We actually really enjoyed Akron. Yes, it's mostly habited by ghosts.
Yes. And it does need a bit of an alt scene.

Speaker 1 It needs a lot of things. Once it gets in there, though, the people are cool.
And, you know, the shit there is awesome. A bomb shelter was a great place.
That was an amazing.

Speaker 1 It's not an actual bomb shelter. It's a store.
Yeah, it's a store. We just, yes.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry we're doing it this way, but guys, you just got to understand when we do side stories live hi my name is henry sapowski i'm here with ed larson hello we get to see parts of the world that i again

Speaker 1 why would i go to akron the only one the only reason why i'm gonna go to akron is if i'm in witness protection but now i like want to go back i i had a great time i met rosa over at akron coffee roasters which is truly beautiful had my first pour over what's happening to us and then we went to columbus and we got warios which filled my guts warios fuck was amazing.

Speaker 1 Dude, this place is called Warios. They have like the craziest cheesesteaks.
They got the craziest like pork roll sandwiches. This is how fat we are.
We ate Luigi's and Warios. Yes, I know.

Speaker 1 Now

Speaker 1 we need to find Mario. Yeah, dude.
That's how fucking fat we are, dude. Man, the sandwiches at Warios, Rob, you would fucking, this place is like your enemy, dude.

Speaker 1 And Warios, I love that it's named Warios and it like distinctly feeds you food that makes you like destroy plumber's lot.

Speaker 1 Dude, I just fucking, I had that fresh cold cut sandwich with the homemade giardena on it and it had this like tomato butter. Man, damn.

Speaker 1 Dude, I just can't believe we never, this never happens to us really. Normally, I eat like shit.
When we're on the road, I very rarely eat anything good. It's normally hotel, like Caesar salads.

Speaker 1 We'll get maybe one.

Speaker 1 I try to go do better food than you. You eat it.
You get room service too much. Well, you and I, you help me go out more.
Yeah. I just like convenience because I don't like searching for breakfast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you hate breakfast for some reason. It's no, I love breakfast.
I you don't like getting up or going anywhere. I don't like waiting for breakfast.

Speaker 1 Oh, see, the thing is, with you not going to breakfast, I can get anywhere because you can always get in as one. Well, that's the thing is as a solo traveler, you can get in a lot of places.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I also learned.
Just go sit at the bar. I always have it, they always got room for me.
But we literally,

Speaker 1 I look like a big spender. Schmidt's Sausage House.
Oh, I don't even want to talk about it. Dude,

Speaker 1 that place was amazing. I'm like emotional that it exists and that we went to it and it's like it's out of eight's like 1886.

Speaker 1 It's like a German restaurant out of the fucking, like it feels like you're in Germany. And then we shopped at a cuckoo shop.
We shopped, we went a cuckoo clock store. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And this is what Eddie and I did. We were like, we were so innocent.
We went to the Red Stable. It was a, it's a cuckoo clock store right next and right in a little little

Speaker 1 Germany. So German village or whatever the fuck.
Hey, at least we smoked weed. Oh, God.
So at least that was a part of it. So at least we were stoned.

Speaker 1 Ohio definitely needs to work on their weed though oh yeah it does need to yeah it needs to work on shout out to baxter speakeasy for taking care of us in akron as well seriously yeah what a fucking great time man i mean i can't believe it i had to go we're gonna be in vegas this weekend you y'all better come out to fucking vegas because we're going to have a blast if we live yeah wise guys on sunday that is december 7th at 6 30 p.m wise guys town center that's the one past the airport not the cool one no not the good one yeah we're not doing that so remember that it's not the good wise guys but the rest of vegas is really nice.

Speaker 1 I don't know about that. That's not true at all.
Rest of Vegas is not very nice. Sometimes it's got its moments, you know.
I like Somerville, yeah, I like Summerlin. I like Summerlin.

Speaker 1 I like, I love Vegas. I'd move to Vegas.
I know you would. You know, I'd move to you look like a Henderson boy.
Oh, what do you feel like? There's a lot of land in Henderson.

Speaker 1 You can get yourself a very nice place. A lot of room.
That's what I like. You show my dick to the sand.
Spread it out, you animal.

Speaker 1 But yeah, thank you so much, Akron and Columbus, for treating us very well.

Speaker 1 And we're gonna come back now yeah that's how good you were i'm actually that's how good you were i had no intention to ever come back i had family i didn't know like new family julie's family come to the show in columbus and they didn't hate it you believe that i can't believe that they didn't hate it for sure they were gonna hate me well especially after what we did because we also we were in columbus so we were in epstein country so those of you who saw that show knew that it was going to get probably pretty dark and it did yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and god it was great all right so we have a bit of an update oh we do um this is the only update i got from last week we We had that really great run-up that we were talking about

Speaker 1 about using cloning to make babies of the horrendous figures of history and then charging different ways to kill them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And one of the ways that we came up with, we thought it would be really fun, that you take infant baby Hitler and you drown it in a bathtub filled with Jewish cum. Oh, that's right.
We did say that.

Speaker 1 I usually just forget everything that happens the moment I walk out the door. As you should.
And honestly, that protects you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So with the cum math came out, someone sent me an email about cum math, right? That's Hitler's baby picture. That's him, that's Hitler.
You gotta kill him. What a cute little baby!

Speaker 1 You tell me you always had the hair.

Speaker 1 I just wanted a baby picture. It just looks like Hitler.
I want it at the end of a bayonet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so according to this cum bath math, all right, so talking about bathing and cum, someone said this, right? Here's some cum math. You would need

Speaker 1 48.

Speaker 1 All right, let me see how this 484

Speaker 1 did. Someone wrote this number out.

Speaker 1 Someone literally wrote this number out really, really strange. All right, it is 484 million 532,708 men to fill a 320-gallon hot tub with cum, presuming they'd all come once.

Speaker 1 We don't need that much to pay five milliliters. You do, I mean, we just need a bucket.
Yeah, you could just, or it could have an inch of it and we could just hold its face down. Yeah, I need it.

Speaker 1 I need number. I need numbers for like a Tupperware bin, you know, like one of those, like something you put all your holiday decoration.

Speaker 1 So again, we just find out it is 2.5 milliliter per shoot, and then we just do that math accordingly. Yeah, no, that's how we know.

Speaker 1 And again, that's just really just depends, but that's if you're not saving it ahead of time. Also, are these guys backed up or are they, you know, what's the deal?

Speaker 1 Because also, like, this is all the information. Because if you've been coming all week, you know, I imagine you're going to have a little less than you.
Who knows? Is that how it works? Sometimes.

Speaker 1 Catch me. Yeah.
Catch me right time. What's Peter North doing these days? I honestly think he's,

Speaker 1 I think he's worm food. Yeah, you think so? He's probably dead.
He should be dead. I think Peter North might be dead.
He came to death.

Speaker 1 I actually think he got shot in the head. No, he's out there, man.
Oh, he's out of

Speaker 1 him. Oh, he's looking great.
Wow, only 3,000 followers? Yeah, he's... I know this is him.

Speaker 1 That's not the right Peter North. No, that is him.
It says the one and only. Yeah, that's him.
That's right.

Speaker 1 I reckon he's. He's probably horrible.
Yeah, yeah, Eddie. I imagine he's horrible.
Definitely. Well, he made a documentary.
He was a retired actor in quotes.

Speaker 1 That'll be interesting. We'll see what's going on.
We'll find out. Oh, he loves it.
Adam Carolla's a good friend. Of course.
Makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense.
All right.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about someone who's filled with cum. Oh,

Speaker 1 you witches.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 we have some truly wonderful stories this week. Did you not want to talk about Morgan Geyser? I guess there's not much.
No, I want to talk about it up top. Okay, good.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, as y'all know, talk about, you know, cum and a bunch. Oh,

Speaker 1 oh, she's a child. She's sorry.
Well, no, she's not child. No, she's not a child.
It was more just our last name's Geyser. Yeah, I go.
I understand. I understand, baby.
Believe me, I understand.

Speaker 1 So, as you guys may have heard, Morgan Geyser last week, while we were away for Thanksgiving, we were, of course, it happened as soon as we were gone. Morgan Geyser is one of the Slenderman stabbers.

Speaker 1 Now, this took place in May of 2014. They were both 12 at the time.
It was Morgan Geyser and her friend Anissa Weier.

Speaker 1 They basically formulated a plan to murder a young friend of theirs, Peyton Leitner or Lutner, in order to please Slender Man.

Speaker 1 Now, Anissa Weire apparently was a person that brought the concept of Slender Man to Morgan Geyser.

Speaker 1 Morgan Geyser would go on to build on top of that delusion and would say, We can please Slender Man by killing Peyton. We'll stab her to death.

Speaker 1 And then what we'll do is then we'll walk to these in these woods.

Speaker 1 We'll just walk into these woods and we'll we'll go to the, we'll be invited into Slender Man's mansions and become one of his proxies, right? Like one of his like little like helpers.

Speaker 1 And they were 12 at the time. They were 12.
And we now know that that they were wrong, Eddie. No way.
Yes, Slender Man

Speaker 1 shit the pet. People love a thin man.
They really do. And they, you fucking, they'll tall, thin, he'll cheat on you.

Speaker 1 That's the best we ever know about this fucking Slender Man, right? So she was arrested. They were put into jail.
So now Anissa Wire was let out, I believe, in 2021.

Speaker 1 And she didn't. So Geyser got sent to a mental hospital.
Yes. Yes.
Wire was leafed and released in 2021 after seven years. Then,

Speaker 1 I guess it makes sense. I guess.
Well, because Weire did not actually do the stabbing herself. But she talked the other one into doing it.

Speaker 1 You know, Morgan Geyser was the both dominant member of the pair and

Speaker 1 did the actual stabbing, but also brought Anissa along with it. Like, Like tried to sort of put the knife in Anissa's hands.
The original attack happened when they went into a park bathroom.

Speaker 1 Morgan Geyser grabbed Peyton's arms, put them behind her for Anissa to stab her to death. Anissa choked.
She didn't want to do it, obviously. She didn't.

Speaker 1 And so eventually Morgan took it upon herself later on.

Speaker 1 So they gave her seven years for that? Well, she's an accessory to murder. She was there.
She was a part of this. And this is an attempted murder.
That's fucking legit. So I know.

Speaker 1 It's hard when they're 12.

Speaker 1 If you're where anybody dies and you're involved with the party that someone has killed someone yes you're in trouble i understand that at 18 and over but a 12 it's same it's same rules that's wild yeah same

Speaker 1 long ass time for a 12 year old they try to stab her to fucking death so payton crawled

Speaker 1 actually no

Speaker 1 she lived she crawled or she crawled away she got help from the road and then they were arrested so now morgan geyser was put in a mental health facility facility.

Speaker 1 Now they said for a while, I believe that one of her parents had also suffered from schizophrenia. So they felt that Morgan Geyser was showing these symptoms of schizophrenia.

Speaker 1 She said that she experienced full-on auditory hallucinations. She saw color streams go up and down the walls and most importantly, believe Slender Man was real and speaking to her.

Speaker 1 So now she's been in this facility. Do you think she is crazy or is she faking it? This is a long, this is, I mean, this is

Speaker 1 at 12, it'd be pretty impressive if you were faking faking it. Unless you heard all of the symptoms described by one member of your family.
12-year-olds are idiots.

Speaker 1 But also are absorbed and you'd be surprised what they know what they're doing. They're great liars.
Children lie like a motherfucker. They just don't know.
They don't know.

Speaker 1 Morgan Geyser might have, obviously, I mean, let's just say at this point, my diagnosis, she's cuckoo fucking bananas, right? She's all fucked up. Okay.
She's all jacked up.

Speaker 1 So Morgan Geyser is put into this mental facility. She's She's supposed to be there for 40 years.
That's a long ass time. Yes.
For doing something when you're 12.

Speaker 1 Well, it's because of the way that she acted.

Speaker 1 It was because of the, it started with, you could tell that there has been some like obviously genuine concern because they were technically innocent due to insanity. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So they got like released in this kind of conditional way to this mental health facility and they were working with Morgan for a while.

Speaker 1 And so way it started, it seemed, is that they genuinely believed she was very sick and they worked on it.

Speaker 1 Now, they seemed to slowly relax what they were doing with her inside of this mental health facility to the point where she then got in trouble for receiving material from outside of the mental health facility, this book called Rent Boy that is all about a, I believe,

Speaker 1 I know it features sexual sadism and murder and violence, right?

Speaker 1 So that was like the first thing being like, oh, and she said, oh, Morgan Geyser got really upset because they were putting all of these kind of parameters on what she could read and what she was going to do.

Speaker 1 And so, someone from the outside, the first example of a man from the outside of the hospital, sent her this book, this, this, this disgusting, whatever this rent boy book is, right?

Speaker 1 And so, she's reading this really morbid, dark stuff. And that was kind of like one weird thing.
Who was the guy?

Speaker 1 I forget the name of the guy. It was just some other man.
He's not a family member, no friend, or anything like that.

Speaker 1 He's just random-ass, like, I forget the guy's fan name, but he's like a fan of horror or like a fan of her of her.

Speaker 1 He also was helping her sell her artwork on Facebook so she's she's drawing all these sort of like Morgan Geiser is drawing these super morbid pictures and selling it so like gotta fill that canteen but it's again it's like I don't think it really works like that it's another kind of an example of like is she okay or not and so you have these mental health evaluations and one of the I was watching a thing about this afterwards and it's hard because you have to take the sick person's word as much as you can corroborate that they're okay and that they're better, but you have to take their word.

Speaker 1 So, Morgan Geiser could have very much been giving them everything they want to hear for the last several years. So, they gave her provisional release in 2025 to go to a group home.

Speaker 1 Honestly, I kind of agree with.

Speaker 1 I agreed and I didn't agree because this is where my thought process comes in: is that I don't know if she knows if she's really sick or not. I don't know what she knows.

Speaker 1 And I think that what we're now seeing, my problem is, is that now with what just happened, i think she's a lot more aware than uh she says she is i i think especially the behavior i saw in the body cam footage where she very much is obviously uh she was almost in charge of this relationship with this other person so now we know that morgan geyser was in this he was in waukesha right at some group home 8 a.m november 23rd they call that she has left from this place she's in madison right she's disappeared from this home she cut her like she has like one of those like locator tracker devices on her ankle.

Speaker 1 She cut it off with a scissor, right? No idea you could just do that. And they

Speaker 1 ran off with this unnamed man, technically, right? Didn't know. Turns out this person goes by the name of Chad Mecca.
That's like, well, that's their legal name. They now identify as a woman.

Speaker 1 They go by Charlie. Okay.

Speaker 1 And this person is 43 years old. Morgan Geyser is 23 years old.
This person began speaking with Morgan Geyser from within the group home. And then I guess, like,

Speaker 1 from outside, that's the only thing that's kind of muddy is that I can't figure out where they met.

Speaker 1 I know that this person was not allowed to visit Morgan Geyser at the group home, which means they already could tell something was really weird about their relationship. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This 43-year-old person then begins to sneak into the window of this 23-year-old murderer, almost murderer, attempted murderer, probably like, you know, the very now famous true crime case. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's almost like in my mind, like at first in my head, oh my God, this person, this older person is manipulating Morgan Geyser. Like that's the first thing I thought in my head.

Speaker 1 That's what I, that's what it seems like to me from an outsider. Cut to the body cam footage.
So they are,

Speaker 1 they're at some truck stop. So they managed to get a Greyhound bus ticket.

Speaker 1 That's not that hard. That's not that hard.
You say manage. But that's, I mean, in terms of like, that's all the money they had.
They then walked across Chicago. They ended up at this truck stop,

Speaker 1 middle of nowhere. Then they kind of just, I guess they crashed.
And the police came, and you can see the way that they're acting is that the older person, Chad Charlie, is acting like a child.

Speaker 1 It's like,

Speaker 1 kicking the grass, doing all this weird stuff. And Morgan Geiser's the strong one.
Morgan Geyser's holding, being like, don't let her go. Let her go.
I know, I know every, I did it. I'm the bad one.

Speaker 1 And she's doing this. And you're like, it's very, very interesting.
So it looks like Morgan may have

Speaker 1 been the ringleader in this situation? God fucking knows. They had made this sort of fantasy run.
They thought that they were going to go to Nashville together. They thought it was going to be,

Speaker 1 I guess they thought it was going to, but they had no money and they had no particular plan. And now we know that Morgan Geyser is back in jail.

Speaker 1 They caught her, I believe it was the night before Thanksgiving. And this is my problem is that first of all i wasn't sad that she got caught but i was like yes it's like mike myers yes

Speaker 1 when i found that it happened i was just like oh fuck like my my morbid true crime brain and penis yeah i call that my more my true crime penis got real big right oh yeah because we have a show to do yeah and i was excited yeah but then you look at this and you realize like oh it was really it was really quite sad and i don't think that morgan geyser ever should have been let out you don't think so?

Speaker 1 I mean, she obviously tried to escape. So

Speaker 1 you're right. Now we know that she, I think that she's quite manipulative.
I think, but also, I got to say, 40 years for a 12-year-old who didn't even kill anyone.

Speaker 1 I know that she tried, but it seems like a lot. It really does.
I think it takes a lot for 12-year-olds make really bad decisions. But I think it's different.

Speaker 1 I think there's a very big difference between like accidentally not feeding your gerbil and it dies. Well, that's you know what I mean? It's not a harmless thing.
But I mean organized murder.

Speaker 1 An organized attempted murder by two 12-year-olds is more unusual than anything else. It's very unusual.
It's extremely unusual. It's a very, very extreme case.

Speaker 1 So I could see why they wanted to put her in there for 40 years. And I could also see why they

Speaker 1 try to adjudicate it. Like, you're also seeing this is the system.
Trying to let her out. Trying.
Trying to like like help and like. Trying.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the problem is, is they just, there's only so far.

Speaker 1 You can help. So what do we know about the person who tried to help her? Just honestly, not a heck of a lot.
And they are, I mean, my. How much trouble are they in? What's their crime?

Speaker 1 I actually, I have no idea. I have no idea if they do get in trouble.
I mean, if they paid for the

Speaker 1 bus ticket, it could be trafficking, I guess. Morgan Geyser is an adult.
It's a legal adult. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's legal.

Speaker 1 It's just, I feel like it's just that Morgan Geyser was still technically, I believe, under sort of like a kind of probationary.

Speaker 1 I mean, they saw an anchor man at her on, so yeah. Yeah.
So she's going into jail.

Speaker 1 And then they're going to probably put her back into that facility. You know, they just

Speaker 1 chill out and like you just be, just do your rehab, man. Well, the problem is, is that I think that she's, she's kind of screwed up.
Oh, yes, that's right.

Speaker 1 Morgan Geyser and this person met at a church. They were at a church together.
And she started doing the things, telling this person,

Speaker 1 they're treating me bad. They're not letting me do these things.
They're abusing me.

Speaker 1 I think that. Morton Geyser's the manipulator.

Speaker 1 I think that Morton Geyser, like, well, I think the other person's a, I'm going to call him a capital C crepezoid, like, for certain. Like, definitely a full fucking creepozoid.

Speaker 1 Well, this article I found does say that Chad Mecca has a history of sexual assault. Oh, of course.
So, yeah, you're not wrong there. Of course.
Okay. Of course.

Speaker 1 Who else is climbing into the window of a famous stabber? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like literally thinking that they could do it.

Speaker 1 So obviously it's very complicated, but I think that Morgan Geyser is now going to, now they're going to be like, okay, well, now you stay in. Yeah.
And now the other one's fucked. Good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The other one needs a fucking break from society as well. I think the other one could probably maybe, I think the term is touch, not touch grass, because they were sleeping on grass.

Speaker 1 I think they need a break. I think they need, I don't know what they need.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just, it's weird because I'm so torrent on this, to be honest with you. Well, of course.
Because we believe that we would like to believe that you can rehab people. Especially a child.
Unless

Speaker 1 it's just.

Speaker 1 They start killing too early and they're just

Speaker 1 bad. Yeah.
A 12-year-old organizing an attempted murder is very different. It's very, very different than stealing.
It's different than smoking. It's different than anything else.

Speaker 1 So I could see why everybody's a little confused.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Especially with dealing with Chad Mechan, now

Speaker 1 this new level. Go ahead and throw the book at that one.
Oh, yeah, they're going to. Oh, there we go.
As far as I'm concerned, that person, I got no, I got no.

Speaker 1 I got nothing in the game for them. But I honestly still feel bad for Morgan Geyser.
Oh, yeah, I feel very, I do.

Speaker 1 But then the problem was, see, I also don't know whether I'm cynical or if I'm mean or something, because like I was watching the footage of her being transported back because they had the body cam footage of her going back in and sort of the way she's going like, oh,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. No, she's doing, it's the opposite.
It's like,

Speaker 1 I hate to say it, but it feels like alligator tears. You know what I mean? It kind of feels like, I think that you're, you're putting on a face because you're going, I never should have left.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. Like, she's like doing this thing.
And I was like, I think that you're, you told everybody else that you were getting physically abused in here yeah

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 you're not saying the truth either and what are you gonna do out there well now they're an adult yeah but what are you gonna do out there how old morgan guys are now 20 i think 23 23 oh my god i don't know what they're gonna do i don't i feel like they need more help i need even more more and more and more and more and more help i mean they just added another 10 years at least i'll tell you that much they got to unfortunately looks like they got to cook some more yeah well an interesting detail also she's apparently still talking to Slender Man.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's the whole thing. It's all like she's having these, she's still having these like weird episodes, and she's saying all this stuff.
I think that she's dangerous. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, if she's still talking to Slender Man, she's definitely dangerous. I think she's no question about that.
I think she's extremely dangerous. And I just think it's sex.

Speaker 1 Also, Slender Man's not real. That's the issue.
That is the main issue, right? Yeah, there is no Slender Man. There is none.
Unless, of course,

Speaker 1 it's Eddie Redmane. Yes, it could be Benny.
It could definitely be Eddie Redmane. I can bet you right now that Eddie Redmain's wearing a mask and he's zooming in.
Where has he been?

Speaker 1 I haven't seen him do anything. I bet you he's grooming her.
Whoa, Eddie Redmain. Eddie Redmane himself is grooming her.
Can we check his phone records?

Speaker 1 I would love to find out because you know he would love to have a little girl killed in his name. Oh my god.
It would really help him.

Speaker 1 You know that he would, you know that he'd only make him stronger. It'd only make him bigger and stronger.
I just, God fucking damn it. God fucking damn it.
I knew it. He's doing good.

Speaker 1 He's God. I hate him i hate him you do hate him

Speaker 1 what are you doing oh he's got um

Speaker 1 you know he's only got stuff he's only got one movie in production oh no yeah

Speaker 1 yeah i think he's on his way out i think you i think you've uh we came into existence yeah good yeah i think so oh wait no it's a julia roberts picture

Speaker 1 she's gonna do great

Speaker 1 yeah it's gonna be great yeah he only gets stronger he's doing awesome yeah i know yeah good for you you, Eddie. Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 honestly, I can't regret him in that way.

Speaker 1 But still, he is trafficking girls. I know he is.
To his home, and he's cutting their cliffs off, and he's turning them into mittens

Speaker 1 for fetuses. Little baby fetuses.
Yeah, we have that on. I know that.
I have that on tape. Yeah, we have.
Yeah, we know these things. I have that on Betamax.
Yeah, Henry has his little sparrows.

Speaker 1 My sparrows and my spiders.

Speaker 1 Spy from North Way.

Speaker 1 Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way. Stick them in your underwear.
You'll wear quince every day. Hey, that's right.
It's Christmas time. Cold mornings, holiday plans.

Speaker 1 That's when you need your wardrobe to just work. You get chilly.
You know what you're going to do? You're going to go to Quince. And Quince is going to make you a prince.
And no. A Christmas prince.

Speaker 1 Oh, how wonderful. A Christmas prince dressed in his quince.
Ooh, how lovely. Do you want a cashmere sweater? How about a weighted blanket? You can get all of it over at Quince.

Speaker 1 Oh, everything I own is made from Quince. If my television could be made from Quince, I'd let them make my television.

Speaker 1 If they made ham sandwiches, I would buy Quince's ham sandwiches because you can trust Quince because they have

Speaker 1 all kinds of high standards for craftsmanship and ethical practices. So, this Christmas, when you're buying gifts for other people or yourself, go to Quince!

Speaker 1 Get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince. Don't wait! Go to quince.com/slash last for free shipping and your order and 365-day returns.
Now available in Canada, too. What?

Speaker 1 No one told me. That's q-u-in-ce-e.com/slash last

Speaker 1 free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/slash last.

Speaker 1 This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

Speaker 1 Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online.

Speaker 1 Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place.

Speaker 1 From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business.

Speaker 1 The best part about it is it can help you design a funnel in which you can very quickly record commercials so that you can get it done while you are desperately trying to get on break.

Speaker 1 That's the best part about Squarespace, it can really shorten up the time you spend doing things. You got to get in there.
You got to get in there. Use Squarespace.
Man, is it fast?

Speaker 1 It is absolutely incredible. You're going to love your experience at Squarespace.
Head to squarespace.com/slash Henry for a free trial.

Speaker 1 And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Henry to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Speaker 3 To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium, unlimited wireless for a great price.

Speaker 1 So that means a half day.

Speaker 3 Yeah? Give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.

Speaker 4 Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow under 55 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 1 See mobile.com.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. You want to do this next story, man? Absolutely.
This is the other, one of the seriously, crazy stories all week. This one is just as insane as any other story I've ever read.

Speaker 1 But also, nothing technically happened. Okay.
But bad. I mean, obviously, crimes happened.
But like, none of the dreams came real. Are you talking about wedding?

Speaker 1 No, I'm talking about going down Haiti Way. Oh,

Speaker 1 this is such an interesting,

Speaker 1 cool, I mean, not cool is the wrong word, but like, it is just like wild fucking story. All right, so we got two evil, broccoli-headed, this is like straight up evil, no question about it.

Speaker 1 Evil, fucking, twerpy, rat-faced little white boys named Gavin and Tanner. 20 and 21.
Think about these fucking idiots. So, Gavin, younger than Geyser, younger than Geyser.
Think about it.

Speaker 1 And then, but also just shows this is the, you know what? This is the undeserved confidence that men receive. Oh, especially from Texas.
Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 Because Morgan never thought she could take over an entire island. No.
You know? And that's where she's thinking small.

Speaker 1 Because these guys, Gavin and fucking Tanner, Gavin Weisenberg and Tanner Thomas, these two fucking wastes of life. If your name's Tanner, your parents really fucked you over.
They really do.

Speaker 1 And I know some bad Tanners too, and some fucking shitty tanners. I don't think I've ever known a good one.
No, actually, Tanner's tanner's a hard name.

Speaker 1 Honestly, if you're a good tanner, please write in. Side stores, LPOTL at gmail.com, and I want proof you're a good tanner.
Yeah, explain yourself because I don't believe you.

Speaker 1 All right, so these guys were indicted in a grand jury in Texas Eastern District for a horrific idea. So what they wanted to do.
Fuck crimes.

Speaker 1 Well, they would more than think. Well, yeah, oh, yes.

Speaker 1 They started amassing stuff. Very much so.

Speaker 1 They're going to probably face life in prison. They wanted to

Speaker 1 absolutely are.

Speaker 1 They wanted to create an army of homeless men from Washington, D.C. that they were going to float over to an island next to Haiti.
Yes. Right.
Which I believe was called, it's like Cavole.

Speaker 1 It's part of Haiti. Yes.
It is officially part of Haiti. They thought that which is a goddamn disaster right now.
I know. It's one of the worst run places.
I mean, it's not run by anybody.

Speaker 1 It is a complete, utter disaster. If you were going to pull something like this off, Haiti would be the place to do it.
Thanks, Eddie.

Speaker 1 Thank God. So these guys, they really thought that they were going to pick up.
So it was Gunave Island, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So DC area, they went to go work in the DC area because they thought that they would build up a bunch of mercenaries. They would turn homeless people into mercenaries.

Speaker 1 They would then sail them across the water to attack this island. They then would kill every man on the island and then capture every woman and child to become their sex slaves.
Correct.

Speaker 1 That is the plan. 26,000 people.

Speaker 1 Like that. Yeah.
Right? Easy. So these guys were like, oh, fuck yeah.
Of course we're going to do this. We're going to buy a sailboat.
We're going to get guns.

Speaker 1 We're going to get the homeless guys together. By the way, your number's way off.
85,000 to 100,000.

Speaker 1 It's estimated.

Speaker 1 Easy then.

Speaker 1 Estimated residents. Because you know how easy it is to train and organize the homeless, right? You're going to get them all the way.
They love listening. That's why they're in that situation.

Speaker 1 First of all,

Speaker 1 I mean, they did their homework. They literally

Speaker 1 learned Haitian Creole. Okay, so first of all, they said,

Speaker 1 they say they learned Haitian Creole. I'd love to test them.

Speaker 1 Right? So

Speaker 1 one of them enlisted in the Air Force and told him that, hey, listen, the reason why I'm getting the Air Force, Tanner did. He enlisted in the Air Force so we can go on.

Speaker 1 So he said, like, listen, it's going to help me get on the inside. I'm going to get training, right? Weisenberg, the other fucking idiot, he was up.

Speaker 1 Well, Tanner, he was assigned to Ramstein Air Base in Germany. You've been there, right? Yes, I have been there.
It's got a Taco Bell and a Kmart. Incredible.

Speaker 1 And then he got himself reassigned to Joint Base Andrews so that he could be nearer to DC. So he said, quote, he could continue their project while he was in training.

Speaker 1 Like this idea that he'd go out and ghislain Maxwell, a bunch of homeless people to become mercenaries while he's training in the Air Force. Which I joined the Air Force to commit this crazy crime.

Speaker 1 But I've also heard that training when you're in the army or the armed forces, maybe I'm wrong, seems to take up the majority of your time. Yes.
I don't think you're gonna have a lot of time.

Speaker 1 I don't think you're gonna have a heck of a lot of time to groom the homeless people, especially with how much lice is on them. All right, so it's very, very hard.

Speaker 1 The other fucking piece of shit, he went and he,

Speaker 1 this was

Speaker 1 Gavin. Ugh, I even hate saying their names.
Yeah. They just sound like fucking

Speaker 1 shitty toe-headed children, like just in the going, Mom, mother, mother, mother,

Speaker 1 oh, mother, I want coccharine milk, I want cocoran milk, you know, like that style of like these fucking shitty little algae-filled kids and every Montessori skill.

Speaker 1 These kids got green skin, they're all dying, right? So, Gavin, he goes, he gets enrolled in the North Texas Fire Academy to train in command and control protocols, right?

Speaker 1 He said skills he would need, of course, because he has to train in order to lead this armed coup of an island, right? Yes, failed out of the school.

Speaker 1 Immediately, six months later, two weeks after being dismissed from the school, he then goes to Thailand, which is where every low-rent white boy goes to in order to buy sex, right? Yes.

Speaker 1 So he goes there because he wants to. I want to go there for the weed.
Exactly. I want to go there for the food.
And the fights.

Speaker 1 With your wife? No!

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 they have the little fights.

Speaker 1 Lots of boxing. It's fun.
Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.

Speaker 1 That's where my friend Sonia went. She went to go train.
Fighting? Muay Thai. Oh, well, there you go.
It was awesome. I told you.

Speaker 1 But so he was going to go. And so then they flew to Thailand.
Our friend, Sonia. Please.
I think Sonia considers me a friend at this point. I agree.
Yes. It's been years.

Speaker 1 Continue. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 And so this guy was like, they wanted to go then train in a Thai.

Speaker 1 They look evil. Oh, yeah, they're such fucking evil.
The one on the left, especially.

Speaker 1 Do we know if that's Tanner? Who gives a fuck? I believe, yeah, that's Tanner on the left.

Speaker 1 They both gave a fucking fucking fucking miles to tell her if he got beat to death. He needs a hammer in the center of his forehead, right? So

Speaker 1 they went to go get Thai sailing school, right? They want to learn in Thailand. And they went to sailing school.
And guess what they found out?

Speaker 1 I guess they didn't research it because they're fucking morons. They're bad at sailing.

Speaker 1 It was too expensive for them to join. In Thailand? Yep.
What do they think they're going to get money here for? They're 20. Okay, they're morons.
They're morons and they're rapists, right?

Speaker 1 So that's the problem. So they go.
Oh, they're the future rapists, right? Well, yes.

Speaker 1 So it turns out during this whole time period, while they were trying to figure out how to put all of this together, they couldn't figure out how to recruit homeless men.

Speaker 1 They couldn't figure out how to train the army. They couldn't figure out how to sail.
So they just said, fuck it. We're in Thailand.
Let's make some child pornography, which is what they did.

Speaker 1 Oh, they Gary glittered it. Oh, yeah.
They decided to just kind of get that going. They said they just dropped some of that in there because they figured they got some time.

Speaker 1 You know how Kanye's always working on beats. It's the same thing where they just sat there, they figured, we could do our job.
We could do a job while we're doing our jobs, right? And so they are.

Speaker 1 So the two trial, they're two now, obviously, they are going to be going to jail and they're going to be probably murdered in there. Now,

Speaker 1 they are convicted. They got two charges.
It was for conspiracy to murder, maim, or kidnap in a foreign country and production of child pornography, child sexual exploitation material.

Speaker 1 So they could, they're going to go to jail. And then when they go in jail.
The first charge gives them life in prison. Oh, yeah.
Which is crazy.

Speaker 1 I mean, just like thinking of going to another country to merm and rape gives you life in prison. Well, apparently.
Just for like thinking and planning it. I think it's because of the

Speaker 1 written amount of...

Speaker 1 This shows how dumb they are. Is that it must be the amount of written evidence, like hard evidence that shows how much they planned it.

Speaker 1 You got to use a chalkboard for these things. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 You might want to do this with a Whisper campaign.

Speaker 1 You know, I think it's a lot of that. It's the

Speaker 1 it's him changing bases. It's him going to trying to sign up for the sailing school.
Like, that's how they put all of that together. My God, these fucking idiots.

Speaker 1 Evil little idiots. And that's the problem, too, is that it's not even, like, think.

Speaker 1 Think the fucking universe that they are extremely bad. I mean, obviously, it was already an unrealistic idea.
Yeah. Just the idea was flawed itself, but also so was America.

Speaker 1 It was a little thought in somebody's head. It was a little thought, and then it just happened.
So who knows? Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 Also, on a side note, fucking central Haiti right now is under total gang attack. Downtown Haiti's not going well.

Speaker 1 Well, downtown Haiti, Port-au-Prince, if you want to, Port-au-Prince is like they're fighting back a little bit. The Kenyan army, Kenya sent a bunch of troops to Haiti to help clean up Haiti.

Speaker 1 And so, and like they're like fighting the gangs in Port-au-Prince right now. And so, Port-au-Prince is like getting under control a little bit, not really, but it's still mostly run by the gangs.

Speaker 1 But central Haiti, the Kenyans haven't gotten out there yet and the government out there.

Speaker 1 And so that last week, they killed dozens of people last week in the gangs in the middle of Haiti, killing a lot of women, a lot of children, and they've completely taken over central Haiti now.

Speaker 1 Well, those two 20-year-old white boys are going to really crush it over there. Oh my God, they would probably just get immediately murdered.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you think that when they're coming to the bottom of the city, you know what? Well, they have the bad news bears of mercenaries all on their stinky tugboat coming on there all going, ah,

Speaker 1 all these like men are just like, they're probably just going like, water, that's a beach. You know, like, they're

Speaker 1 the real punishment would have been like, you know what? Go for it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let Haiti deal with them. Nothing would make me happy.
They would have just eliminated them immediately. The U.S.
government, yeah, just being like, yeah, sure, here. Here's tugboat.

Speaker 1 Won't you go try it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, go. I'll definitely go.
Go ask for barbecue. Yeah, go there.

Speaker 1 Go try to take their women and children. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Definitely go.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 1 Your untrained homeless people are going to do fantastic against them. Oh, my God.
This is fucking terrifying. Oh, yeah.
It's very terrifying, man.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 great story. It is a great story.
It is a great story. Fortunately, it's a phenomenal story.
But the only reason why it's truly good is because they didn't make it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, if they were going to do this, they should have taken a page out of our friend over here, Ryan Wedding. Oh, yes.
He kind of accomplished this in a weird way.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 I didn't even think about it like that. Yeah, this guy, he's making the white boy turn different dream real.
It is weird how these two stories are kind of similar.

Speaker 1 But this is a guy who knows what he's doing. Yeah, he's not going to just murder and rape.
He's just selling drugs. Well, because that's the thing you notice.

Speaker 1 It's kind of the difference between the Nazis and the Mafia. Oh, interesting.
You're just there to murder and rape. A lot of people are not going to be super into it.

Speaker 1 Because a lot of times people are like, I ought to be, you know, like, because I know a lot of people, I'm not to yuck anybody. A lot of people are.
Yeah, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Obviously, Tanner's very super into it. But the idea is that, like, you know, Nazis kind of thought that all the murder and the rape and all the torture would like catch on.

Speaker 1 And everyone be like, wow, yeah, this is awesome. You know,

Speaker 1 just do this. Yeah, oh, cool.
And I think

Speaker 1 they didn't really register that most people don't like it. And then, and it bumps people out.
And the drug dealers, on the other hand, if you can make money

Speaker 1 and you can help, I can help you make money and we all just make money. Yes.
Seems like people like it. Yep.
So Ryan Wedding, former Canadian Olympic snowboarder. I love this.

Speaker 1 He has not meddled or anything. He is now one of the heads, maybe, of the Sinaloa cartel in Mexico.
What was that? What's that white rap group in Canada? Is it Snow?

Speaker 1 Snow, the Informer? Yeah, is it Informer? I think it's just one guy. I think Snow is one man.
Dude, talk about, can we have the no Informer version of this? That's what this is, man.

Speaker 1 This man kills the informer dude he is white as fuck he went he was again this is el chapo's cartel yes canadian snowboarder he goes i guess he's first arrested for like so i get he does i think was it the 2002 olympics yes and he didn't medal he kind of gave it up i guess well you have to and you're at age but i feel like a lot of people you know there's certain things you can do i don't know i don't know if you got to give it up but then he gave it up for something way more lucrative lucrative, drug trafficking.

Speaker 1 And he got arrested in LA. Yes.
Yeah, he did. But now he's down.
They're looking for him. He is on the FBI's most wanted list as one of the heads of the Cinna Loa cartel.

Speaker 1 Dude, it is, that's not like your local mom and pop cartel either. You know what I mean? This isn't the low-level

Speaker 1 one of the most successful. I guess that's a weird way to put it.
No, it's not. One of the most successful cartels in history.
Historic cartel.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he also is one of those guys where they keep raising the amount of money. Like the reward is something between like 10 or 15 million dollars now.
They keep raising it.

Speaker 1 And they're like, that's how you know how well connected he is. It's 15 million because the fact that no one's

Speaker 1 like just getting that money. Yeah, no one's just a white guy in Mexico.
No, he's running some shit. He's running some.
He's right. He's really doing a good.

Speaker 1 They have no idea where he is either they have like a picture of him at a coffee shop but they're like he may be in the US Canada Colombia Honduras Guatemala Costa Rica or elsewhere dude he's like they call him like

Speaker 1 that's like half the fucking continent that's the whole continent man and no

Speaker 1 he's in North America

Speaker 1 Colombia's in South America dude and his nickname is El Jefe

Speaker 1 the grande they call him the grande and then oh yeah and one's one's bad they call him buddy oh well yeah

Speaker 1 you know that's not a nickname Yeah, that's probably what he calls everybody.

Speaker 1 Giant and public enemy are also his names.

Speaker 1 Giant. Giant.
To just be known as giant. But yeah, well, this guy, he is Pam Bondi's looking for his ass.
Well, you know, that means he'll get away with a lot of people. Well, that means he's lucky.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He'll get away. But yeah, dude, the fact that he's running this is insane to me.
Because also, El Chapo's son just like rolled over on everyone. He didn't roll over on him.

Speaker 1 Nope. This was yesterday, I believe.
Yep. And then so no one knows exactly

Speaker 1 where this guy is. Also, another Sonola cartel leader

Speaker 1 was just killed yesterday. El Pinchon.
Well, that was like one of those because now we're just

Speaker 1 in a semi-hot war, right, with Mexico, essentially, right now? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
Or always are, I guess. But I thought that we didn't do that for a long time.

Speaker 1 And now it's like, because it's our administration's particular obsession, I believe that we are, we've really ramped it up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've ramped it up, but we've also ramped it up against Venezuela, but that's a whole nother story.

Speaker 1 That's our lip story, that's a whole nother thing, but yeah, so this guy, he's out there there looking for him, but it seems like he's just successful,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what? And that is a sign of success, I think. Yeah, you know, because like, you know, I worked with, I'll always remember, I worked with John Hawks on the Amy Schumer show.

Speaker 1 John Hawks, he played Saul. I love John Hawks, one of my favorite actors in the world.
Deadwood, and he also played the

Speaker 1 guy who gets jerked off a bunch by helen hunt yeah he's great at getting jerked off in that movie yeah and he said that i always remember because he's like he didn't have him cell phone he doesn't have a computer if they need to go get him they go out to his ranch they literally like fax him at his ranch they email him scripts to his little ranch that's the only way that you can find him that's the l hefe man yeah that's the l hefe way he lets things come to him you know carrot top doesn't have a computer or thinkable it's because he keeps smashing it yeah

Speaker 1 Just it's a banana. Yeah.
But no, so they believe the FBI believes wedding has ordered dozens of murders across the globe, including the United States, Canada, and Latin America.

Speaker 1 They say he's orchestrated the murder of U.S. federal witnesses to testify against him.
And

Speaker 1 it's gunned down in a restaurant in Medellin, Colombia, early this year. Dude, this guy is legit.
He must have been quite the competitor. But he didn't meddle.
No, he didn't meddle.

Speaker 1 He was not a great snow. I mean, he was a great snow.
He had to have been if he became an Olympian. But how sad is that with that kind of stuff?

Speaker 1 When you think about how, like, you train your whole life for the stupid Olympics. It's the only thing you do.
It's the thing you, that man's been snowboarding since he was a fucking child. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right. And then you get the one time, you make it all the way.
You beat every other snowboarder in Canada in order to get on the snowboarding fucking Canada Olympic team. And then you don't meddle.

Speaker 1 And it's like you did nothing. I mean, this guy's dad has to be proud of him.
Well, yeah, the dad is, but nobody else is.

Speaker 1 That's got to be the most brutal feeling in the world when you have done nothing. You've done nothing but win.

Speaker 1 You've won your way across the country, and then you get to the last place where you got to win, and then you fuck it up. God.

Speaker 1 I mean, now he's won. He's in the last place where he has to won.
It seems like he's won. My motherfucker's living the life.

Speaker 1 Whatever is going on, yeah, he's a murderer, and God knows every other thing he's done. But honestly, this is the best sports career I've seen since OJ.
Yeah, like that's an incredible

Speaker 1 post-sports career. Yeah, so if you have any information,

Speaker 1 who's had a better post-sports career than this? Than this? Bill Belichick, he's dating a 24-year-old. I mean, that's horrible.

Speaker 1 He's doing, dude, his life looks so miserable when he's honestly plays it. I guess that he's so bad.
He can't even win college football right now. No, he's just, he's very distracted.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But if anyone has information on Ryan wedding, keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself.

Speaker 1 I'll fucking shoot you in the head.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go out here to extra say I have no idea where he is. Yeah, I had no idea.
And if I did, here is your continued success.

Speaker 1 Honestly, here's your continued success.

Speaker 1 And honestly, until I hear otherwise, congratulations.

Speaker 1 LFA.

Speaker 1 We'll be your podcast.

Speaker 1 Honestly. We'll be your Sean Penn.
I will be. Honestly, come here.
We can talk about this. I can get you access to amazing people, David Desmelchian.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I can get you access to. Who else can I get access to? I can get him access to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, who else? All sorts of people. I can get him access to a lot of stuff.
There's a lot of people looking for.

Speaker 1 I can't even say it. I know Bob Sackett's widow.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. Stop bragging.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Yeah, Ryan.
Best of luck to you, buddy. And we mean you're just

Speaker 1 renatural. We're not neutral.
Yeah, we're not trying to get you caught. We're just talking about your story.
You're just, we're literally, we're deeply impressed. Right?

Speaker 1 But I'm certain he's a murderer. We know he's bad.
All right. Before you guys all fucking tear us to shreds, we know he's a bad man.
We know he's bad. We're just actually scared of him.

Speaker 1 We are genuinely frightened and sort of proud. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just a little bit. Oh, man.
Bye from your blade.

Speaker 5 An extraordinary holiday starts at Paragold, the destination for luxury home. Elevate the season with unique, heirloom-quality decor, gifts, hosting essentials, and more from design's best brands.

Speaker 5 Our largest ever selection has something for every celebration and style. Shop in-store and online at paragold.com and enjoy free, fast, full-service delivery.

Speaker 6 Looking for a snack that's better for you and irresistibly tasty? Grab a bag of skinny pop popcorn.

Speaker 6 The original ready-to-eat popcorn is made with just three simple ingredients, and it still delivers all the light, airy, and satisfyingly salty flavors you love.

Speaker 6 Share a bag of skinny pop with your favorite people, or just keep it to yourself for some endlessly enjoyable solo snacking that lasts and lasts. Deliciously popped, perfectly salted, skinny pop.

Speaker 1 Popular for a reason.

Speaker 3 Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know, one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to the big man up north.

Speaker 3 And this year, he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month.

Speaker 1 Now you don't even need to wrap it.

Speaker 3 Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

Speaker 4 Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow after 35 gigabytes if networks busy. Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 4 See Mintmobile.com.

Speaker 1 You see, this is another really crazy slash sad story, but it's right up our alley. So I feel like we got to talk about it.
The one out of Ocala is an Ocala, oh, Ocala, Florida story.

Speaker 1 This story's fucked up. A woman from the UK traveled to the United States to have a man from Ocala.
Horrible place. Don't, if you're going to be tortured or murdered anywhere, don't do it.

Speaker 1 Voluntarily, yeah, no, don't do it. Do it.
It's really bad. Miami.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just not even, there's nothing worth it.
Although they are building Ocala up. It is better than it used to be.
Are you being paid by Ocala to say that?

Speaker 1 No, I just know that it is technically better. They're trying to port St.
Lucie and make it a respectable place. Sure.

Speaker 1 But this guy lived there.

Speaker 1 This guy's one of these. He's got a real long

Speaker 1 chin beard.

Speaker 1 That was the last picture, the old picture of him. He's a real long, like goatee.
Guys who grow their goatee real long. It's pretty interesting.
Look. So, Sonia Excelby, she was 32.

Speaker 1 She was from Portsmouth, England.

Speaker 1 She flew into Gainesville Airport on October 10th and then found this man,

Speaker 1 Dwayne Hall, 53 years old.

Speaker 1 She contacted him online and talked to him about murdering her. She was suicidal.
And she was like, I want to, I guess she realized she couldn't do it herself.

Speaker 1 And so she thought this guy would, she fetishized getting murdered. Yes, and she met him on a fetish website.

Speaker 1 This is very, obviously when we covered the Arvin Mivis, when we covered the Arvin Mivis case, this is kind of a similar mechanism where she said, like, not only do I want to be murdered, I want it to be horrific, I want to be tortured, I want it to be a whole process.

Speaker 1 They spent a long time communicating with each other, kind of setting up the parameters for it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then she flew over here, met with him. He...

Speaker 1 Started to kill her. Started to do what he they sort of had agreed to do.

Speaker 1 Seems like they had sex a couple of times as well well or they or it seems it depends he filmed it yeah yeah yeah he filmed it and then deleted it and then they were able to recover the video yes so this nothing's ever deleted by the way no no no no no no no no no yeah yeah and so they they deleted it and uh and then he ended up uh killing her uh and then he stabbed her a bunch and then he mailed the knife to his friend and he got caught with all of it now didn't she

Speaker 1 we now know that there were some communications during the time that she was trying to maybe

Speaker 1 tell somebody, I've changed my mind. Yeah, it seemed like she, like, but it was already too long.
Oh, yes. It was already too far gone.
She was already in there. Yeah, she was already in there.

Speaker 1 This guy's a murderer. Well, because he's just looking for people to murder on the internet.

Speaker 1 But also, the guy, technically, it's that fucked up thing that we covered with that case where they, like, at what point,

Speaker 1 when you set up, like, obviously, side stories, L-PO-TL, the gmail.com. We have so many people in the King community, and we know that there's so many rules.
And, like, obviously, in this,

Speaker 1 murder is a psychopath. It's bad.
But you're in a scenario where you've been talking about it for weeks and you're telling somebody word for word,

Speaker 1 whatever I say,

Speaker 1 you keep doing it. Yeah.
Whatever I say, you keep doing it. And then you're now in the middle of it and you're saying, I don't want to do it anymore.

Speaker 1 To me, I would be like, if I was the guy looking to voluntarily kill somebody, I would really want to make sure that that was really

Speaker 1 a certain decision. Yeah.
And I would be checking in all the time and I would be giving them ample room to leave the situation. Nice.
Because, you know, you're a good guy. I'm new.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're new at this. But Excelby messaged her friend on Discord on October 11th.
She said, he made it clear that there's no way out unless I shoot him. I was questioning it last night.

Speaker 1 I thought he'd do it quick and not give my mind time to stew. So she was stuck for a while, Her body was found in a shallow grave a week later.

Speaker 1 And then, I mean, he's then sent. The reason they knew that he did it, because they found, he bought a brand new shovel to dig the grave.
Oh, I mean, you got to. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then they found the special day. They found the sticker from the new shovel in the ground next to her, in her,

Speaker 1 in the grave. And then they knew he bought, then they found the shovel at his house with her DNA on it.
Oh, wow. Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was just fucked at that point.
Well, as he should be.

Speaker 1 As he should be. Yes, of course.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's arrested with charges of first-degree murder, kidnapping, credit card fraud, because he took her credit cards, bought a bunch of shit, as you do.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he's done.

Speaker 1 It is just a bunch of evidence against him. Oh, yeah, he's done.
He's done. Yeah, he's definitely, he's a murderer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and she was, she wanted to take it back, and he went through with it anyway and did it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is a fucking horrifying, weird case. I'm sure a lot more stuff's going to come out about this.
Absolutely. It's just, I can't believe in this year of 2025 that this still happening.

Speaker 1 Because like, I actually was just reading about some guy, some old fuck that went and got, he, he was a part of a

Speaker 1 European suicide service and he went and he used it himself. He was like 92.
He's like a doctor and they do with like a medical facility and they put a hot shot in you and they do all this stuff.

Speaker 1 They stop the weird thing that just slowly stops giving you oxygen, like the tube. We talked about it.
The suicide pod, though, is actually apparently really nice. Yeah, because it's nitrous.

Speaker 1 You don't choke to death. Yeah, you just click the button and you go to sleep.
But yeah, because they put, I forget what it is, the gas.

Speaker 1 It's like another type of gas where it's like it's something that they, oh, yeah, he's immediately

Speaker 1 as Rob is Google.

Speaker 1 Suicide pod. Help us available.
Yeah. Help us available.
Yeah. No, no, don't worry.
No, no, no. We're doing this for entertainment.
988. Suicide Outline, of course.
Always just calling.

Speaker 1 Always call to check in. Make sure they're okay.
Well, there were three people living their best life in the Florida Keys this week. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. When you go ahead and you put the dick down in a Wind Dixie.
This came in really hot off the pipe right before we got recording here. Florida Trio.
Yes, Marathon, Florida.

Speaker 1 Three people were arrested after authorities in the Florida Keys say they were found having sex while heavily intoxicated in a Wind Dixie parking lot in the middle of the day. You know,

Speaker 1 people say life ends at 40,

Speaker 1 but not according to these guys. If you look at them, Sharon Helen,

Speaker 1 I'm going to say her name is Saplinski, 45,

Speaker 1 Saplinski, Marshall. Adam Lowry, 43 of Key Largo.
Oh, what a sexy town. Michael McDonald Howard, 59 of Marathon.

Speaker 1 They were all cornhole on each other inside of a car, inside of a parking lot of a Wind-Dixie.

Speaker 1 And if you see the three of them you know why because the sexual energy is off the charge yes the south did rise again oh man oh man now my question is were the boys kissing most likely

Speaker 1 boys were kissing actually you know what i'm looking at these guys no no no you don't think the boy you don't think the boys didn't start off the kicking of the night you know honestly these three they all look like criminals not to be a bad guy uh judgmental person.

Speaker 1 They all look like criminals. Let them do it.
You know? You know what I'm saying? It's middle of the day, buddy. It is the middle of the day.

Speaker 1 It's the middle of the day, and it's a private business parking lot. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 If they were in the driveway of their home. You're right.
Tickets were Amada. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Don't you want air? Do you want, don't you want

Speaker 1 walls? It just helps, you know, because it sounds like I'm going to guess what they were doing. My guess, her tits were out and she was jerking them off.

Speaker 1 And while sitting on another man, I'm guessing. Or all three of them are in trouble.
She's just doing this. Because

Speaker 1 if you're just sitting in the front seat watching, do you get in trouble?

Speaker 1 Sidesories, L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com. I actually don't know.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And also, I will say they're lucky they did this at a Winn-Dixie and not a Publix because they would have thrown the fucking book at them when they did this at a Publix.

Speaker 1 To be honest, at Win-Dixie, they told them to come back. Yeah.
They were like, yeah, honestly, we have a sale. Yeah, Chuck Cola is really cheap today.

Speaker 1 If you really want to. Honestly, we've got turkey breast.
It's like, come get some of our hologram ham. Yeah,

Speaker 1 um, when you guys come,

Speaker 1 come on inside. We actually just made some halal

Speaker 1 because it's almost almost Hanukkah. And you guys must be celebrating soon.
Oh, man. Do you look Jewish? No, these people are not Jewish.
Oh, wow. No.
Yeah, no, not great. Waspy names.

Speaker 1 There is nothing, there is nothing Jewish about these people. I'm just checking.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, here we go.
All right. September from some letters, I think.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's hear somebody. I think we did listen to now.
I think we should know.

Speaker 1 Fuck yeah. Who did that one? That one is from Peyton Proster.
Thank you, Peyton. Thank you, Peyton.
Very.

Speaker 1 That's fucking sweet. For those of you that send in sad widower stories.
We'll get to them, we promise. We're going to be reading them or we're going to go through them.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go through them and on i'm going to like uh make them bearable but last stream on the left we will announce a winner of the foot dildo it's right there behind we will choose the saddest widower story behind the sign if you need it oh okay i see oh well you put it back in the packaging yeah yep we're gonna talk about it they're gonna get that they're gonna get that foot dildo well then we have the other ones the actual vaginas Yes, and we did say those are usable.

Speaker 1 The foot one, we already touched it a bunch. And so it's not like, we didn't fuck it.
If you're a widower, do not fuck any of these fake pussies. Why not? I guess it's probably best.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let them fuck the fake pussy, man. You know what? All right.
Yeah. Oh, you win.
Yeah, let them. What are you talking about? You win.
They made them. We didn't.
They're still packaged. I want them to.

Speaker 1 I want them to. Yeah.
Just make sure you follow the cleaning instructions. Yeah.
Get a hose. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So here we go. I love this.
My father was sextorted. Uh-oh.
After hearing about your sextortion segment on Side Stories today, I figured I'd write about my dad.

Speaker 1 Ten years ago, I woke up for work and there was a Facebook message from who I thought was my dad.

Speaker 1 He and I were always a bit estranged, so I find it kind of odd that he'd have messaged me at all, let alone 3 a.m.

Speaker 1 I figured he was just drunk messaging me randomly, or worst case scenario, something had happened to a family member.

Speaker 1 Little did I know it could be worse than that.

Speaker 1 The message request was a video, and as I'm on the toilet pushing out my morning poop, I hit play.

Speaker 1 All I could really see was a silhouette of a man in the distance in a room that appeared to be illuminated by a television screen.

Speaker 1 I figured it was supposed to be a funny video he shared, but the figure started walking closer. I soon realized that that figure was clearly masturbating.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking to myself, why is this motherfucker sending me a video of some asshole jerking off? And then it hit me. It was my father, absolutely going to town on his penis looking into a webcam.

Speaker 1 Apparently, he got some sort of message from a person or a pre-recorded video of a woman touching herself and inviting him to join her. My father, being my father, naturally obliged.

Speaker 1 After some time, according to him, the messages started saying that he was caught on camera and if you don't send X amount of money to Yada Yada, they were going to share this video to everyone on his friends list.

Speaker 1 Little did the scammers know, my dad gave absolutely zero fucks about anything and said, go ahead, motherfucker. I don't give a fuck.
That's what I said.

Speaker 1 Yep, it certainly wasn't the worst shit I'd heard from my dad, but I absolutely wasn't expecting to get a video of the man beating on his dick that created me while I was taking shit.

Speaker 1 Later, when I asked him what the hell was that all about, he explained it to me. He couldn't stop laughing.
You have to be in my fucked-up family to find the humor.

Speaker 1 My sister and a few cousins also got the video. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Still joke about it to this day.

Speaker 1 I guess they had cloned his account to make me think it was him sending it.

Speaker 1 We lost Pops in August to asshole cancer that spread throughout his body, which was fitting because he was an asshole, but he was a funny one.

Speaker 1 That was, that made me fucking laugh.

Speaker 1 That made me fucking laugh. Oh my God, how much he didn't care and how much the family didn't care.
I feel bad they had to see it. But still, like, I just love that it bounced right off of him.

Speaker 1 I like that the guy taking it. If someone sent me a video of someone jerking off, I would immediately shut it off.
But he's taking his shit and he's like, what is he doing? What is this?

Speaker 1 What's going on? What are you doing? Who's that? Oh. Is that my dad? Oh, yeah.
I'd be screaming. screaming.
I'd be screaming. I would have a seizure if I saw my father masturbate it.

Speaker 1 But, you know, you also, he wasn't a beloved father. No, I think that actually kind of weirdly helps.
It makes it easier. Yes.
Oddly enough.

Speaker 1 If it was like a good father, you probably would have paid the money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you might have. Who knows?

Speaker 1 All right, here we go. Here's another one.
My grandmother has been hit with the scams hard in the past. Oh, another? Uh-oh.
She sent computers to Africa because Mark Zuckerberg asked her to.

Speaker 1 She sent tens of thousands of dollars to these scammers.

Speaker 1 One saying that because she wouldn't give him money, she had to commit, he had to commit himself, and now they won't let him out unless she sends money, which she did because she felt bad.

Speaker 1 Anyway, when we finally figured out what she was doing, we put an end to it.

Speaker 1 She started getting messages saying that they had nude photos of my grandfather with other women and that they would release them to the public and humiliate her.

Speaker 1 My grandfather, whom is the biggest perverted old dog you could ever imagine. Also, she believed it.
Yep. Told my grandmother to ask the people to send them to him.

Speaker 1 And he was excited about showing the public about how much action he was still getting. You see, that's fun.
Again, dementia can be really, really fun.

Speaker 1 But it can also work.

Speaker 1 We don't know. No, no, no.
No, absolutely not. No.
Oh, my God. No, no, no.
It was just the lady had already become a very fertile ground for scammers. Yeah.
So more people can. You got to be careful.

Speaker 1 Scammers put them in prison forever. I mean, I hate scammers more than anybody.
There was a, I was just following a case last night.

Speaker 1 It was on 48 Hours about a dentist that got essentially got his assistant addicted to drugs. And then she started getting into a relationship with him.
And then he would manipulate her.

Speaker 1 By giving her drugs and doing all this kind of stuff. And there, there was something to that where

Speaker 1 at that very end they were going to go through the sentencing. They couldn't really figure out what the crime was.
A lot of times it was kind of trying to figure out, like, okay, if

Speaker 1 you go, if she voluntarily taking the drugs, if you got to find out this kind of evidence.

Speaker 1 And it turns out he got this sort of type of murder plea, which is he, it's, it's called depraved heart murder. Okay.
Where

Speaker 1 because of his actions as both a doctor and as a person, it's like some, it's not, it's like a set, it's a version of second degree murder. It's like, this should be illegal.
Yes.

Speaker 1 We have have to do something we have to figure out how to do this and so he got like book thrown at him 40 years like the minimum supposed to be like 20 25 that's how much they gave guys but they gave 40 because he was a doctor because it said the same thing you should this we have to make an example of you yeah you should know better yeah as a doctor these scammers are crazy i get texts all the time from scammers and they've really like i hate how they like straight up prey on loneliness like it's just always like oh how you been let's get sushi tomorrow and stuff like that those are the texts i've been getting oh yeah and it's just like

Speaker 1 they're very interesting. They're all like, you going to Deirdre's tonight? Yeah.
It's really crazy. She starts sending pictures of your fucking balls, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, then I'm going to start getting the other one. Hey, but then, hey, cool.
You know what? I just

Speaker 1 need to have like a crazy dick pic ready of someone else. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I need some.
You know, you need what? Robert Irwin. Robert Irwin.
The chef, the celebrity chef. I showed you the penis before.
I thought you meant it. Habits.
I thought you meant that.

Speaker 1 I thought you met the

Speaker 1 crocodile. I'm never talking about it.

Speaker 1 Because that's the same name of the guy who just won Dancing with the Stars. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, never him. No, I don't even know he existed.
I'm talking about Robert Irwin, the fucking, I'm talking about the chef with the huge fucking hog. This is who everybody thinks you're talking about.

Speaker 1 No, not him. That's a boy.
That's a child. He's got a little penis.
God knows how little this penis is. That's a little child.
I won't talk about him. I'm talking about Robert Irvin, the man.

Speaker 1 You know what you need to have? What? You got to have...

Speaker 1 What's his name's penis on your phone? You gotta have fucking Lenny Kravitz. Lenny Kravitz's penis.
I'll keep that on my phone.

Speaker 1 The wife wouldn't mind that. Well, then, honestly, they don't let her see it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Keep it for yourself. I bet Lenny Klavitz's penis is beautiful.
It is. Have you ever seen this picture of it? I don't want to see his actual penis.
It's right here. What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 It popped out on stage. Oh, it popped out on stage? Yeah, it was on stage.
Oh, man. This is innocent.
Hell yeah, man. That shit fucking flew away.
Honestly,

Speaker 1 it popped out like a salamander's tongue.

Speaker 1 It just zips out. He looks like a giant evil butterfly.
I love Lenny crap. Oh, we always do.
And the ladies do as well because he's got a big old cranking hole.

Speaker 1 And it just zap right out. Well, yeah, there you go.
Even the blur is big. Yeah, it wasn't.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it wasn't going his way, huh?

Speaker 1 I actually do think it is. You do think it is? You just, you know, you got to, you really got to wear more relaxed pants.
Oh, all right, go check it out, Lenny.

Speaker 1 Live every day, knowing for a fact you can survive a funeral at Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 And you can laugh about it later on with your family knowing about how it was a lot to deal with emotionally but you can also love the fact that it's probably never gonna happen again yeah

Speaker 1 and that it's that you can have beautiful cherished times with the family and

Speaker 1 and still then celebrate thanksgiving later on yeah this is your last Thanksgiving funeral. I'm calling it.
Yeah, I think that it's a hard day. It's a hard day already.
Because guess what?

Speaker 1 Food gets cold. Food definitely gets cold.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we're already busy on Thanksgiving. Super busy.
It's hard to put it all together. It's hard to throw an event of that nature.
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 The only funeral on Thanksgiving should be for the turkey. Yeah.
And then actually, that's a fun one because we all eat it. Yeah.
We're going to be in Vegas on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Come and hang out with Henry and I and Mega. Wise Guys, Town Center

Speaker 1 this Sunday, December 7th at 6.30 p.m. It's going to be a lot of fun.
We're having a blast.

Speaker 1 I got some stuff I'm going to give away because we've been doing the reverse Q ⁇ As at the end of the show. Yes.
And we gave away some stuff this past one.

Speaker 1 We gave away a bunch of Dan Marino cards that Henry and I signed.

Speaker 1 But I got some stuff to give away at this next show. I'm very excited.
So come on out. We're going to have a blast.
It's going to be a great time. It's almost sold out, too.
No, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's get close. They're doing good.
It's just, honestly, it's just out by where the people live. Yes.
So if you're a people of Vegas. I don't want Vegas locals.

Speaker 1 I want people of Vegas to come. Tourists are welcome, but I want the locals.
Yes. I want you guys there.
I want to know you. We go to Vegas enough where you should be friends.

Speaker 1 George Knapp, get your ass out there. I want to see you at our show.

Speaker 1 Also, I got some stand-up shows coming up January 4th at Oxnard Levity Live. That's a Sunday.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a hard one to get people out to. So please come and join us.
I mean, it's going to be a lot of fun. I got Holden McNeely and Jake Young doing a set.
Julia Johns and Carolina Hindalgo.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a lot of fun. That'll be a lot of fun.
And then on February 18th, I'm going to be at the Punchline in San Francisco with Grant Gordon. Come check it out.
It's going to be a blast.

Speaker 1 I love you guys. And that's it.

Speaker 1 That is it. That's all we got, baby.
So go check it out. Go check out all our fucking horse shit.
Because the last bad guys had left Coach Mac. And Christmas is right around the corner, isn't it?

Speaker 1 You can really feel the pressure. We got to do some extra work.
Get ahead for Christmas. We can take some time off.
I'm going to blow my brains out. You love it.
I do. I got more work for you to do.

Speaker 1 Yay!

Speaker 1 Bye! Hazard May!

Speaker 1 Hail Akron. Yeah!

Speaker 1 Oddly enough.

Speaker 5 An extraordinary holiday starts at Paragold, the destination for luxury home. Elevate the season with unique, heirloom-quality decor, gifts, hosting essentials, and more from design's best brands.

Speaker 5 Our largest ever selection has something for every celebration and style. Shop in-store and online at paragold.com and enjoy free, fast, full-service delivery.

Speaker 6 Looking for a snack that's better for you and irresistibly tasty? Grab a bag of skinny pop popcorn.

Speaker 6 The original ready-to-eat popcorn is made with just three simple ingredients, and it still delivers all the light, airy, and satisfyingly salty flavors you love.

Speaker 6 Share a bag of skinny pop with your favorite people, or just keep it to yourself for some endlessly enjoyable solo snacking that lasts and lasts. Deliciously popped, perfectly salted, skinny pop.

Speaker 1 Popular for a reason.