Episode 375 - The English Peasants' Revolt: Part 2

Hey everyone, we're doing another live show.

This time we are going to be live October 4th at the Flying Duck in Glasgow, Scotland.

Our first time in Scotland.

Come get your tickets now.

The links are going to be in the show notes.

We hope to see you there.

Like always, there's going to be show-specific merch.

You probably won't be able to get anywhere else.

Possibly some stickers, maybe some patches, maybe some hats.

Who knows?

Get some tickets, come and find out.

We'll see you there.

If you like what we do here on the show, consider supporting us on Patreon.

Just $5 a month gets you access to our entire bonus episode catalog, as well as every regular episode, one full week early.

Access to all of our side series that are currently ongoing and our back catalog of those as well.

Gets you e-books, audiobooks.

First dibs on live show tickets and merchandise when they're available.

And also gets you access to our discord, which has turned into a lovely little community.

So go to patreon.com/slash lionsled by donkeys and join the Legion of the Old Crow today.

Hello and welcome to the Lines Up by Donkeys podcast.

I'm Joe with me's Tom.

Ever since the man in our village in XRs came around and murdered the town sheriff, things have gotten kind of crazy.

We're experiencing true equality for the first time, and the lords with their orange skin and counterfeit sundials can do nothing to stop us.

Tom has taken to stealing several Mercedes cars and roping them together to pull a single wagon.

Meanwhile, I've liberated several pairs of skinny pants, which I'm wearing all at the same time.

I watch as several of our compatriots climb to the nearest sunbed and experience melanoma for the first time.

I pump my fist into the air and cheer, accidentally spitting out my several new stolen veneers.

Oh,

we are in prime, prime Essex energy right now.

I have to admit, I don't know anything about Essex other than the show, The Only Way is Essex.

I mean, that's kind of all you really need to know.

And I had to Google it.

See, when everyone thinks of Essex, they only really think of the like part of it that is just filled with like people who, oh, my grandfather was a Cockney.

So, you know, they kind of talk like Cockneys and they still think of themselves as like working class, despite the fact they drive like a white Mercedes.

White Mercedes with 20% interest.

Essex men are like vibe-based soldiers, you know?

They're all hood rich, like a soldier is.

Like we have no money, but we have a government paycheck that comes in every month.

So we're going to go get, you know, a Mustang with 25%

interest.

I'm really happy I never fell into that trap.

Everybody else is doing that, and I, but I used Prius.

You were smart.

You were

frugal and didn't get yourself in insane amounts of debt.

Yeah, yeah.

Thank God for that.

I spent most of my money on Xbox and PC games, though.

Yeah, you were like, what's the state senator who spent all his money on.

Oh, Duncan Hunter.

Yeah, you were Duncan Hunter, Maxing.

Yeah, i mean he was in the marines to be fair but he was an officer so yeah i don't know where he learns those like illegally using campaign money to buy steam games is enlisted coded yeah that is honestly like once again i am pro defrauding the government if the last episode has taught you nothing uh don't pay tax defraud the government for whatever money you can they are stealing it from you yeah that's a victimless crime don't steal from your neighbors steal from the guy that doesn't matter yeah so when we left you last time the angry and armed peasants of Kent and Essex had found their political and military leadership, freshly sprung from jail, John Ball, a radical priest, and Watt Taylor, a war veteran.

Together, Kent and Essex men, having just taken the town of Maidstone, now began patrolling up and down the roads towards Canterbury, hunting for royal officials or really anyone that had anything to do with the government.

And these actually were quite easy to find

because you wore like a badge.

They're like, oh, kill the cunt with the badge yeah you didn't want to get the badge in for once you know on your stone island tunic exactly it's the evil badge the badge of your ye old g4s tunic

thumbs in the stab vest thumbs in your chain mail just a whole bunch of dudes mobbing and beating the shit out of like the sainsbury security guy no no i'm the other g4s guy Supermarkets in general commit massive amounts of like time theft and wage theft from their workers.

Of course.

It is only right that you steal a pot of hummus.

I think that's one thing that every grocery store across the world has in common.

Yeah, it's also, I was delighted to find out that

when was it?

I think it might have been like maybe a month or two ago that like demand for sabra hummus has fallen through the floor so much that my local supermarkets stopped stocking it, which is, you know, it's all about, you know, small victories, you know, freedom for Palestine, but also, you know, fuck, you know, Israeli hummus and avocados.

Oh no, where am I going to buy my Sabra hummus and my soda stream now?

But in the first episode, the best weapon the rebellion had so far was word of mouth.

Like this podcast, tell your friends about it and check out our live show tickets for October in Glasgow, Scotland.

Yeah, October 3rd, in the flying duck in Glasgow, we

will not be wearing any variety of green or blue and will not be involved in any sort of sectarian arguments.

I'm going to wear a parcel thisick jersey in order to be a good middle-class

Glasgow person.

This time we will be taking no part in partisan conflicts.

This is not a policy the podcast has in general.

And that was without like Watt Tydler even being there.

This was just happening independently of the greater movement.

And when he did gather his men and march through, they just joined in with the locals, taking in new recruits and, of course, burning down the houses of people who were not on their side.

After torching a house in Sittingsburn, Tyler decided it was time to head for Canterbury.

Yeah, I hate when they burn down my Watland Daub Barrett Newbuild home.

Oh no, my Wattle, not my Daub.

Just repairing the Watland Daw by shitting directly on the wall.

Someone having their Wattlenda burnt down is like, I have a brilliant idea to weatherproof our wattle and daub, and they invent Pebble Dash.

Oh, God, a Pebble Dash, Wattland Daub home.

We need to return to, you know, Paleolithic homes.

We need to bring back Irish Kranogs.

That's right.

Everybody should just live in a hole.

Yeah.

We need to live the life that was destined and described to us by Jungie Ito.

You all need to diglet Max.

But those were just Tyler and his men.

Remember the Kent and Essex men, Tyler and Ball being with the Kent group, were not united.

The Essex group was doing their own thing in Crescent Temple, a well-known dump of wealth in the form of huge hospitaler manors and estates and temples.

It is a giant loot box.

Yep.

It's like you're punching local people and just like stuff is falling out of them like it's Fortnite.

Also, they're dressed like Goku, really.

You just beat up a priest and just gold rings fall out like he's fucking sonic.

They raided the properties stealing anything that wasn't nailed down and and armed themselves with hilariously ornate ceremonial weapons and armor that were like on display they're getting like the purple loot drop armor yeah yeah exactly and like giant gemmed out swords and shit like that are never meant to actually be used but they're just like waddling down the street wearing all this yeah this is the uh origin of men from essex and kent wearing multiple signet rings at once exactly then they stole a ton of food stole a ton of wine got blackout drunk, and burnt down the rest of the town.

Yeah, so it's just like Liverpool Street on a Thursday night at 11 p.m.

Yep.

It sure was.

We have no experience of that at all.

From there, the Essex groups continued throughout the countryside, raiding and robbing, and of course, besieging the home of Sheriff Sawal, who was still inside his house in Cogshall.

The town had come to be kind of a gathering spot for different rebel groups from surrounding villages because they knew he was in there still.

And according to the book, Hand of God, at least 40 different towns and villages sent like groups of rebels to go in and join this siege.

And they didn't want to miss out on the rest of the loot as well.

There's a rather large abbey there.

They didn't want to miss out on all the fucking cool vestments and whatever.

Yeah, yeah.

Finally, the rebels break into Sawal's home and they beat the ever-unholy shit out of him.

They begin to rummage through his house, stealing anything of worth.

But official government paperwork was something they were after, specifically those marked with a green seal.

Now, the peasants would not have been able to read this paperwork they had stolen, but they knew a green seal meant that it was related to finances and taxation.

Ah, so like everything was just like color-coded in a way that even peasants knew.

Yeah, it's a system so simple, even peasants can burn it down.

Yeah.

They gathered up all the documents in town square and burned them.

And they were all like dancing around and getting drunk and very, very happy.

And this would become a common event throughout the revolt.

Burning down houses, but specifically gathering government documents and torching them.

Eventually, they wouldn't be after only things with the green seal either.

It's like, that looks like paperwork.

Only the government has paperwork.

Torch it.

Just peasants walking out of, you know, the house looking like, you know, remember Gold Homer?

Look closer, Lenny.

Just like dripped out in like the first time they've ever seen like a purple cloak.

Yeah, this is what happens when you loot the Lord of Springfield's home.

What is surprising is they didn't murder Siwell, but the Exchequer, John Ewell, who was hiding inside Siwal's house, was beaten to death in front of him.

Send a message, you know?

You never killed the most powerful man.

You always kill the second most powerful man to send a message.

Listen here, Sheriff.

We're gonna fuck up the rest of your life by beating your friend to death in front of you.

Yeah, you go and tell the rest of the scheming unks what's happening and what we're gonna do.

Caving in the exchequer's head with a brick and tell the other sheriffs, motherfucker, tell them.

And with that whole thing handled, the gang split back up and scattered back across Essex.

But still, the government was offering no organized resistance.

Tyler and his men, reportedly numbering in the thousands at this point, simply walked into Canterbury and took it over, including its castle.

Like in the castle, they literally just knocked on the door.

Yeah, you know, it's kind of like, look, we can all either die extremely violently or we can just let them in.

Like, the castle had guards, of course, and the guards looked out there like, oh, boy.

Yeah.

It's like that famous joke.

I don't know how many people it's going to take to whoop my ass, but I know how many people you're going to use.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They forced the monks at the abbey, the local government officials, the mayor, even the sheriff, a guy named William Stepfance, into town square and demanded they all took an oath to the true boy king, King Richard, and reject anything to do with his scheming unk regent, John of Gaunt.

They did, but then Tyler demanded the names of anyone in town who didn't come to the meeting.

Okay.

Names were given immediately.

There was no torture at play here.

Everybody knew what was happening.

Like, oh, we have to sell these motherfuckers out.

Yeah, listen, you know, you can either, you know, swear allegiance to the king, or you can swear allegiance to the unk and like die at the sword.

Yeah, I don't see any unks here to protect you.

Yeah.

These men were hunted down.

Then Canterbury explodes into a riot as people have a mass settling of scores against one another.

This could be neighbors, but especially against local clergy and local government men.

Bailiffs, an arm of the local government used to collect taxes, among other things, were beaten to death on the street.

Other people were strung up.

Rebels joined in with the townspeople, stole all the government documents, and set them on fire.

Word of what happened in Canterbury reached London, and on June 11, 1381, shortly afterwards, a royal messenger, careful to only be carrying things signed in the name of the king rather than john of gaunt rode out to meet the rebels make sure the seal isn't green yeah they just have a knee-jerk response like burn that man

this is where watt tyler kind of becomes the leader because when the messenger shows up saying effectively what in the are you all doing he's the one that steps forward to speak for the rebellion

He explains they've risen up for King Richard and they would not stand down.

The messenger and Tyler exchange notes with the messenger riding back and forth between Canterbury and London, acting as a go-between.

King Richard, who must have been very confused by all these people who were rising up against him while saying it was for him, actually agreed to meet and hash things out.

Also, remember, he is 14.

Yeah, he should be watching, like, you know, fucking One Piece at this stage.

Like, he shouldn't be king.

Yeah, he should 100% be watching One Piece.

He's like, Mom, I'm jerking off in my chamber.

Leave me alone.

The date was set for the next day to meet in Black Eath.

So, Watt Tyler puts out a call to his various gangs of rebels to all head in Black Eat's direction.

And at this point, he could have had possibly up to 100,000 people following him.

Holy fuck.

Those numbers are heavily up for debate.

Men came freely and left.

There was no enlistment or anything.

A lot of dudes joined in for the looting and everything and then would just go back home.

Yeah, they just wanted to go for like a mental health walk with the blokes.

Exactly.

Like, you know, at this time, they could have had, you know, a canostella on the walk.

They could have, you know, enjoyed nature.

Blackheath is quite a lovely area.

So it's about to get a lot worse, to be fair.

Yeah.

It's going to be a lot more on fire and covered in blood.

And depending on the source between the books, The Summer of Blood and The Hand of God, it goes anywhere from tens of thousands to a hundred thousand.

Either way, it's a fuckload of people.

Then they pick up even more people on their way to Blackheath as they make it down to the Thames because news begins to spread that they're going to have an audience with the fucking king.

The peasants are going to meet the king.

Yeah, and the king's going to be like, y'all fuck with One Piece.

What do you guys think of the Fortnite Goku skip?

What, Tyler?

You're kind of like Monkey D.

Luffy.

Have you eaten the like...

The gum gum devil fruit?

Can you like stretch your arms?

He's going to come down in oversized clothes like Billie Eilish, made popular.

Just dressed like Big Pawn.

The mood on the banks with the rebels was compared to that of like a festival.

At this point, they think that they have won.

They're meeting with the king.

They had stolen plenty of food and wine, so now they're just feasting and getting blackout on the hills surrounding the Thames.

Tyler was unquestionably in charge at this point.

Being the point man to talk to the king's own messenger meant that he had been legitimized to the rest of the rebels.

He was also smart enough to keep all of the officials he hadn't murdered in in captivity as hostages.

And he used them to march into London and act as his personal messengers to people in the town, as well as loudly announce the rebels' arrival while playing trumpets,

which I'm assuming they did not know how to play.

So this is like the worst trumpet march the world has ever seen.

Yeah, it's because they hadn't invented Oasis yet.

So like that is the soundtrack of hundreds of thousands of men from Kent and Essex arriving into London.

Watt Tyler shrugging on the banks of the Thames.

Like, anyway, here's Wonder Wall, and they'd set another house on fire.

Some might say, we can't find another

way.

The king and his court were no longer taking these people lightly, however.

Probably because they could just look out their window and see that the hillsides were covered with people.

The entire royal court was a short way away, but locked into the Tower of London because it was thought to be the only place they could have a safe meeting outside of Windsor.

It's important to remember that they have no army to rely on here, so this whole meeting thing cannot be a trap.

The king really is working on details of a meeting with Tyler, and they're sending out messages back and forth to make it happen.

The rebels, however, just keep on doing what they've been doing.

They attack and loot Southwark.

Southwark also happens to be the place where there's a sizable debtor's prison.

Before, because I know there's going to be comments.

We know it's called Southwark.

Southwark.

You stayed there two weeks ago.

Yeah, but why do I I know?

Like, look, English people, if you want me to pronounce things correctly, understand how the alphabet works.

Yes.

Southwick.

How am I supposed to get that from that word?

Please, British people, explain that to me.

It's because English is a fake language.

Fair enough.

It has no grammatical structure or syntax structure.

It's a fake language.

It's a fake country.

I am going to propagate.

It's a fake three countries.

Yeah, I'm going to propagate the myth that, you know, Britain does not exist.

I actually could make a good t-shirt out of that.

Just like North Dakota.

Yep.

Yep.

So Southwark happened to be the place with a sizable debtor's prison, which they promptly emptied out.

Yes.

And in turn, a lot of the prisoners and locals joined with the rebels and, you know, creating an urban-rural alliance of a sort.

However, there was a small problem brewing in the rebel camp that maybe some of you saw coming.

Especially because we've definitely talked about this before in the past.

Owing to the massive never-ending party they seem to be having, instead of having a surplus of food like they once had, they had partied directly through their stocks, leaving them with almost nothing.

Yeah, unfortunately, there wasn't the wide availability of getting a kebab after the poll.

Yeah, they really fucked that up.

Oh, bus, can I get a mixed donut, please?

Less salad, just lettuce,

garlic sauce, and chili.

All right, thanks, bus.

Calm.

There's no Brixton hot dog guys sitting outside the rebellion.

Yeah, there's no Brixton hot dog guys.

They couldn't go to Bagel Bake yet.

You know, it's kind of they couldn't get a rotisserie.

Well, actually, they probably could get a rotisserie chicken.

They've probably been eating a lot of rotisserie chickens at this point.

It's like Castlevania.

They're like punching tax houses and just roast chickens fall out.

God damn it, I'm hungry.

Now, this is all only made worse by the fact that more and more people kept showing up to the rebel camp and now there's no food.

So now Tyler had ordered the men to be split in half, with each of them getting to eat once per day, whether it be in in the morning or in the evening, but never both.

So everybody gets like one meal.

This, of course, led to people getting fucking pissed.

So the rebel woodstock that formed on the Thames was starting to look a whole lot more like the Woodstock with Lint Biscuit in it.

Or Altamont, where the Hell's Angels stabbed loads of people.

Yeah, true.

Alta stock.

Gangs of men stalked on either side of the Thames, robbing and killing and burning throughout the night.

Even managing to loot the palace of Lambeth, the home of the Archbishop of Canterbury.

there they burned or stole church belongings and even wore his vestments around mocking him look you know we all want to do that that would be fun yeah 100 yeah there were other gangs of rebels joined with men that just sprung from the southern jail who were simply hunting down and murdering lawyers

which again who's a sin that's breath i'm not gonna pay that child maintenance I'm not paying my child support.

Fuck that.

And the unks are scheming against me to make me pay my child payments.

There's fringe on the English flag, which means it only falls under Admiralty law.

You're going to have to charge me in the middle of the Thames estuary.

Exactly.

Despite this, the king agreed to meet in the morning.

And here's where things get kind of weird.

Well, continue to get weird, I should say.

Obviously, he has to meet in the morning because he has to go for an afternoon nap.

Yeah, he's 14.

He's got to go for his snack, his nap, you know, watch.

you know, the 360th episode of One Piece.

Yeah, it's like, it's either you eat early in the morning, so he's like had like three hours of sleep because he's been up to 5 a.m., like watching One Piece like every other teenager, like I did.

Drinking Mountain Dew and not going to sleep.

Ye old Mountain Dew, which is just like Thames water.

It has electrolytes.

Plants crave.

Watt Tyler was trying to look as respectable as possible as the king and his court were inched closer to them across the Thames on the royal barge.

He tried to make the rebels look like an army, which includes like company banners and ranks and stuff like that.

So it was clear that he should be respected as a commander, but most importantly, a peer.

Meanwhile, John Ball had clearly not been consulted about this.

Instead, he began giving sermons about equality, saying that in the Garden of Eden, who between Adam or Eve was a king, a noble, or a gentleman?

Explaining that if God wanted men to be divided, he would have said so from the very beginning.

In a sermon, which is quoted, might sound very familiar in a certain kind of way, quote, there be no villains or gentlemen, but we all be united together, no greater masters than we.

This kind of sounds familiar in a way.

So, as he's doing this, he is getting the rebels' blood all angered up while Watt Tyler is trying to get them to act normal.

Guys, can you just like chill out a little bit?

Could you stop stabbing that lawyer for five seconds?

I heard they got gold rings inside them.

Lawyers are famously like a barn brack.

This one's only full of roast chicken.

Soft, squishy red roast chicken.

Most of them are still shit-faced, making the scene much crazier.

A lot of them are just brutally hungover at this point.

The court men were probably getting pretty fucking scared, watching what was going on in front of them at the banks of the Thames.

Because remember, up until this point, the message the rebels had been sending out was, actually, we love the king.

But things certainly did not look that way.

So King Richard ordered the barge to stop, deciding that going to the rebel-controlled shore meant everyone was probably going to die.

Yeah.

So we sent someone ahead to say the king would personally receive a petition from the rebels rather than a formal meeting that they had originally agreed on.

So a list of demands was set.

And we aren't entirely sure who wrote it, but it really does seem like it was probably John Ball because it was significantly more religiously radical than anything Watt Tyler had been saying up until that point.

Also, as well, the very first line is: fuck it, we ball.

Yeah, exactly.

Ball is life.

That's a seal.

His coat of arms.

The list of demands weren't fair pay or taxation or even the freedom of the serfs.

Rather, it was the heads of the entire royal court, other than the king himself.

Oh, so we need to kill all the onks.

That's right.

Unk slaughter.

Unksaker.

To be then stuck on poles around London.

So the court then decided they needed to get the fuck off the river and make back for the Tower of London where it was safe.

They sent one final message to the rebels saying if they wanted to continue negotiations, they could petition again at Windsor.

This infuriated Ball and Tydler.

They saw it as a direct middle finger.

The king, or in their minds, the court, blew off their agreed-upon meeting date, place, and time.

The men were furious, mostly because Ball's preaching, but now there's even more evidence, as Ball pointed out to the king's barge and said, Look, they don't care about you.

They won't even come over and talk to you like men.

Oh, this is not good

rallying rhetoric for a group of between 50 and 100,000 men who have just destroyed everything in their path.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Tyler or Ball or maybe Kerr, we don't know, pointed that, hey, the London bridge is a short few hours away from here.

We could just go to London.

So they begin marching.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, the rebellion continues to spread.

More houses, more businesses, and everything in between burns as the rebels march towards the bridge.

Oftentimes, it's locals joining in and burning their own shit down.

For example, rebels burned down Southern businesses.

Virtually every time a local neighborhood joined in the rebellion, they would turn on their neighbors, which when you think about it, makes sense.

These are rebels that really do not have a higher political ideology, but they do have an expansive list of grievances.

So their personal revolt means settling them.

Yes, we love settling scores, whether they're...

personal, political, religious.

And it just so happens that that guy owes me for the pair of shoes that I made him.

Yeah, that dude owes me six groats.

Yeah, give me my groats.

Gimme them groats.

Run them groats, motherfucker.

They eventually get to the London Bridge, which has an issue.

Namely, the London Bridge is a drawbridge, meaning it can be taken up in order to protect the city, which they had done.

So now the rebels are sitting on one side of the bridge and the people of London City were standing on the other, just kind of staring across.

And most importantly, the rebels are still just attacking and torching things at random on their side which the people in london are just kind of watching as a spectator sport yeah it's like look we don't know if they can swim also the the thames has like an insane undercurrent as well so you can't really swim across so you've been told it's mostly like suicidal to try to swim yes it is pretty much like you are going to die Meanwhile, rebel leadership made sure to stand at the edge of the bridge and yell across it, hey, we're not going to destroy London.

We're not going to rob anybody.

Instead, we just want to pass through your streets and hunt down traders.

Yeah.

In fact, if you let us across, we'll even buy things from local shops at market prices.

We won't even haggle over any of them groats.

Yeah, we got all these groats that we've stolen on the way.

Would you like a chalice or some priest's vestments?

Would you like a priest's vestments?

Would you like this chalice that's only slightly covered in blood?

Would you like a sack full of veneers?

Yeah.

Groats is fine too.

Bring back bartering.

We have invented our first cryptocurrency called Toothcoin.

Meanwhile, the mayor of London, Walworth, was standing there and realizing there is no way he can appease these people forever.

Like someone who's going to control the bridge is eventually going to let it down.

He's only one man.

The city guard does exist, but there's literally nothing they could do against this many people.

Yeah, it's like, when you think about it, like being in that position, it's like impossible to make any decision that doesn't have the worst possible outcome.

Because, like, lower the bridge, let them in in good faith that they aren't going to sack the city and like they might trade whatever they just want the traders.

Still, hundreds of people are going to die.

Also, as mayor of London, you probably have to think, I'm probably one of the people considered a traitor.

Yes.

And it's, do I let them in while they're not too pissed off, or do I let them sit across the bridge and get angry and angry that they have to wait?

And then they make it across.

Yes.

There's also the small problem that the commoners of London were starting to empathize with the rebels and yell at him, lower the fucking bridge.

So he did.

And soon thousands of men were pouring into the city.

Londoners join in and on the other side of the city, more rebels burst through the old gate, who are they were not let in politely.

So again, this is a good example.

Like they were coming in.

Yeah, and it's great that, you know,

historical lyricist Fergie then later wrote a song about this.

How come every time you come around, my London, London, London Bridge is coming down?

Funnily enough, the video for that is recorded on Tower Bridge and not London Bridge.

Fergie, I'm ashamed of your a historical music video.

Yeah, like great historiography, but, you know, unfortunately is lacking in geographic expertise.

Hate that.

Yeah.

This first target was, of course, the debtor's prison.

Thousands more people quickly joined the ranks.

Then they began to march directly through Ludgate and what amounted to be a gated community for London's wealthy.

Honestly, when, because they announced soon that

like Klarna and stuff is going to be reported on your credit report, like they are going to bring back debtors' prisons.

Like people have bought so much stuff from Sheen and not paid it off that like the fucking prisons are going to be full of people.

The debtor's prison brought to you by Klarna and sponsored by G4S.

Yeah, I'm going to be locked up in prison because I bought that Afghan 9-11 rug on Paylator.

Worth it.

Now, one of these houses included John of Gaunt's Savoy Palace.

This is considered one of the most outlandishly expensive, over-the-top palaces in England and maybe even Europe as a whole.

And it's more fitting for a king than a duke.

The thing is huge.

It doesn't exist anymore because, you know, they burned it down.

Soon, Ye old Suburbia burned, along with the local hospitaler temples and churches.

The hospitaler or temple also happened to be where a massive number of legal documents were held.

So of course they were captured, piled up, and burned.

Finally, the rebels made it to Savoy Palace.

Thousands of men went wild, looting anything they could get their hands on, while others didn't even wait for them to be done looting it to set it on fire while they were still inside.

Once again, people don't talk about how important looting is to men's mental health.

I know.

And the other guys are just trying to harsh their mellow, you know?

Yeah, like we talk a lot about how it's never a good time to go camping with 10,000 of your friends.

Sometimes it is really good to go for a mental health walk with 100,000 of your friends.

Sometimes it's fun to go looting with 10,000 of your homies.

However, Watt Tyler had given explicit orders that men were not supposed to steal from the palace for themselves.

They were supposed to loot for the commons.

So when he caught a few people pocketing things for themselves, he had them thrown back into the palace as it burned.

Ah,

that is a

interesting choice to show power.

Yeah, I'm also really surprised it worked

because they really did seem to be stealing a lot of things for themselves up to this point.

I mean, if you bring 100,000 people to essentially besiege a city, they are going to like steal a spoon.

Yeah, and you have to think of like the kind of wealth that these people are seeing.

Like, these are people from like mostly the villages of Kent and Essex, and now they're in the craziest-looking palace in all of the kingdom.

Literally 40 years ago, half the population was wiped out.

Yeah, this is like after the Taliban took over Afghanistan.

You saw the picture of like the Taliban in like General Rashid Dostam's palatial estate

and just like fucking around on his personal gym.

Like this is exactly what that's like.

From here, the rebels broke into other groups, raiding and burning other parts of London like Westminster and Newgate before doubling back and rejoining one another, only to break apart again and lash out at other buildings and free more debtors' prisons.

Though, strangely, the rebels were holding to their promise somewhat.

They were only attacking people they saw as traitors.

Granted, that is a very fluid statement.

Those were largely the nobles and the gentry, and people and properties connected to them.

Really, the main reason for that, so far at least, is the petty grievances of Londoners had not become part of the revolt.

The petty grievances of Londoners is a sentence that is ever, ever accurate.

Like back then it was whatever, I don't know, fucking can't get enough growth.

Now it's, oh, they're parking line bikes outside my house.

That's enough to burn the city down.

Yeah.

These were largely rural people who didn't know anyone or anything about London other than the London elite, owing to the fact they ran the country.

However, that was changing.

Londoners were joining in, and with them they brought the same beefs that the rest of the rebels brought with them when they joined the movement.

Soon gangs of Londoners were stalking the city, knifing those that wronged them, burning and looting as the rebellion continued the same kind of spread that it had up until this point.

Knife goes in, Luke comes out.

Knife goes in, Luke comes out.

I really could use a roast chicken right now.

Step, step, stab, step.

The growing amount of violence probably wasn't helped by the fact that they did not understand that a lot of the prisons in London were not debtors' prisons.

Yeah.

They were just prison prisons.

So they just unleashed wave after wave of rapists and murderers onto the streets as well yeah it's like whoops all crimes oh well when you're running a revolt right and you want to be able to commit violence where better to go than the experts at like murderers ink yeah you need to liberate the prison full of flatnosed geezers yeah back onto the streets however i should point out that so far most of the violence was still not indiscriminate For example, one of the men they dragged out of the street and beheaded was a man named William Leggett.

who's a very wealthy lawyer who had a reputation for building something called man traps that he would put in ditches around London and ensnare poor people.

This, like,

there is this is the same, the same person who does this would 100% go on a fox hunt.

There is a kind of like a folklorist and people who are into like metaphysics and stuff, like a theory of like, there is a energy and spiritualism within the land that affects how people are.

And it's like, this is just what Britain is.

The men traps guy.

Like everyone in Britain either wants to be the guy in the Falklands who like essentially went Rambo before Rambo, the guy setting up the man traps, or they want to be the Wirril Catman.

Like those are the, you know, which way Western man, it's like which way British man.

You can either be a costume sex pervert roaming the countryside.

You can be putting like snares in the ditch to capture your common man, or you can just be like, I just want to drive a white BMW.

And the worst part is, is the catman would get caught slithering into the ditch and get caught in the man traps.

Even though he is a cat man.

Or you want to be like the bloodthirsty soldier of fortune who like wants to

shoot people of a different color.

Yeah.

Which is arguably, I think, one of the strongest impulses of British men.

Sometimes those are the same guys.

Yeah, well, see, they haven't caught the cat man yet, so he could be all four.

Yeah, it's the cat, the cat guy used to work for Blackwater.

Many people don't know this.

As the rebellion grew, their anger became much less directed, and soon individual gangs band together to hunt down the people they hated or simply owed money to.

Now, the Tower of London is not far away from all of this burning.

They were watching it happen, and the royal court was still held up inside.

Many of them were watching their own personal properties burn down as a growing crowd gathered outside the tower, demanding the king come out and meet them like they originally promised, threatening the 14-year-old, like, come on now, face me like a man.

Nobody in the court knew exactly what to do.

They knew they didn't have the force needed to suppress the rebellion.

According to the mayor, who was now inside the tower with them, most of the city guard had joined the revolt.

The story, as it is told, is the 14-year-old king was still largely being controlled by the Council of Unks.

And this is what finally broke him of that.

And Richard, surprise, surprise, really had ceased to understand what was happening.

Namely, where exactly the rebels fell on him as king, since it started off with them virtually worshiping him and now they were burning down London.

So he sent a message out against the will of the court, offering any and all rebels who simply went home complete amnesty.

He is experiencing a life experience that I think has only been felt by like members of BTS.

Like BTS stands are this level of fanatical about, you know, Jumin and Jung Cook

as these people are about Richard II.

They must have been really happy when they did their two years in the South Korean army.

Like nobody will bother me in the barracks.

The messenger was literally laughed at, carrying the message of an amnesty.

Instead, the rebels sent a counteroffer, the heads of all the traitors, and a total abolishment of the surf system.

And this brought serious problems to the court and the king.

It was was clear that if the rebels really wanted to, they could almost certainly storm the Tower of London.

The only reason they hadn't is respect to the king, I suppose.

The king did not want to hand over his court, many of whom were his family,

and had effectively raised him, knowing they would certainly be torn apart.

Yeah.

So he tried to politic them.

That's gonna work.

Remember, he is 14.

This is not a good place for him to be.

Oh, do you guys like One Piece?

Do you guys want to hang out and play Xbox with me?

I got the new expansion pack for Fortnite.

You can play as Goku.

He wrote another message saying the same.

Everyone would be pardoned if they went home, but they could also write the king personally of their grievances and he would do his personal best to handle them.

Now, this only pissed them off further.

They saw it as another form of disrespect.

Another way to drown the regular people with the weight of administration and writing.

Something that to be clear here, these people were not able to do for the most part.

And that is something the king knew.

And the rebels are like, that's unknown right there.

Yeah.

That's real, like, it's a real unknown move.

To be fair, I do want to not unk talk, but I really want to be on unknown.

I want to see like all the TikToking uncles.

My God.

I do like the idea of an unk talk

because it segregates them to a place where they can only talk to each other.

Yo.

It's kind of actually, no, someone did make a sketch about this a few years ago.

I remember it's like a, it's like daycare for uncles.

so the rebels decided that anyone in london who could read or write a letter legal letter

needed to be beheaded so they could show the king what they really thought of his offers yeah they're doing pole pot exactly it's the english khmer rouge oh god no the english khmer rouge is such a cursed concept like yeah yeah because english people would love to do it yeah i don't think glasses were a normal thing yet but they definitely kill people that wore glasses yeah like anybody anybody who could write a legal document get dragged over to Cheapside and beheaded on Bread Street and Milk Lane.

After some men of the court in the tower began to demand the king attack the rebels, it was clear that negotiations would not work.

So Walworth helpfully pointed out, most of the rebels were pretty fucking drunk most of the time.

So if we wait until nighttime where they're all tuckered out and hung over, and we sent a force out against them, it would not be hard to defeat them, or at least drive them away.

There were many war veterans who had gotten wildly wealthy over the course of the Hundred Years' War and had used that wealth to purchase properties in and around London, and who would certainly side with the king and, of course, bring their men at arms, who are, it's easy enough to think of them as like a private army.

And there's hundreds of these around London.

However, others in the court pointed out that any raid would, you know, be insanely destructive because now Londoners were the biggest part of the revolt.

Yes.

There was nowhere to drive them away from.

They are our home team.

Yeah.

Once again, it is like going to see Millwall, West Ham, and then trying to get the tube home.

It's like, you're going to get a clump.

That'd be an experience.

Like, it's like watching wild animals at a safari.

Is there a train that rides directly next to their train that we could gawk at them from?

Actually, oh, when was it?

It was, I think maybe like six weeks ago or so.

I was at Liverpool Street Station and I was like waiting for my train.

So i sat and like the people who know liverpool street station well was like i was sitting beside the atms on that bench that's there and i think spurs were playing and there was like two like massive groups of fans that were just singing at each other and i was like that's what i imagine this is like

the do those eventually turn into fist fights or this is more of a west side story situation or it's more foot stomps and finger snaps yeah it's a bit more that also football fans will fucking hate that you just compared it to Westside Stewart.

Well, then they should stop being so much like a fucking musical.

Several of the men at court with military experience actually suggested the opposite of military action.

I assume because they know the kind of horrific violence they were going to be looking at.

Yeah, you know, because London wasn't that.

It was still big, but it wasn't that big.

And suddenly you have like a hundred thousand guys who are out for unkblood in the city.

Cheapside has turned into like beheading square.

Yeah.

They are operating on like 40k orc logic.

100%.

They have begun worshiping Gawk and Mok.

They want more DACA on their wagons.

Or is it Gork and Mork?

It's Gork and Mork, I think.

And committed to Orc heresy.

For a man who has recently taking up Warhammer miniature painting, you should know this.

I play Imperial Guard.

Howard.

That's it.

Howard.

Play some real shit.

Play Tao or play Orc.

Look, the Tao are like...

You could cut cut the Tao out of 40k lore and nobody would notice, first of all.

No, they're not.

Okay, you know, the Tao are cool, the Necrons are cool, and the Orcs are cool.

Oh, I'm gonna play as a human unless I

can't relate to the game.

No, I just wanted to send wave after wave of conscript to their death.

Yeah, you know, for a fantasy and sci-fi author, you seriously lack imagination.

I'm not going to disagree there.

Yeah, see, orcs are like the perfect faction because

you you have to believe it.

You have to believe it to build it.

Yeah, you have to believe in the gork and the mork and putting more DACA on your fucking wagon to go behead lawyers at Cheapside.

Yeah, and then you need like a orc kind of grind set influencers.

On that greenskin mindset.

Yeah, get on the greenskin mindset.

You know, you need to move to orc city and you need to, you know, grind out, you know.

Suddenly you will build a fortress.

You will build a large machine just because you have willed it to be.

I think they use teeth as currency.

Yes.

Horns, I think it is.

Whatever.

Teeth and horns.

Yes.

One is the dollars and one is the cents.

We'll let you be the judge.

Well, what's the growths?

I think those are just, you know what I'm saying?

They're the growths.

Several of the men in court that military experience point out that, like, look, we've dealt with rebellions.

We've dealt with armies.

These people are not an army.

They're not a unified body.

If we just give them some of what they want, the vast majority of them are probably just going to fuck off and go home.

And whatever is left behind, we'll probably be able to deal with.

And by June 14th, the king had decided on a compromise.

He ordered Walworth to send for the sheriff and various aldermen of London and through them ordered all the people in the city between the ages of 15 and 60, notably taxable age, to leave the city and head for Mile End.

And the king would meet them personally there.

It's not too far away from the Tower of London.

It's an area that some rebels had already camped out before, so they could probably think of it as like home turf in a way.

And the goal was to lead the rebels away from the Tower of London, so the royal court with a death warrant hanging over their head could escape

using their own king as bait, which is kind of funny.

I mean, look, you know, at this time and for a long time, the king was kind of disposable.

Yeah, I mean, again, he is a 14-year-old.

Famously, Richard III was buried underneath a car park.

Oh, don't worry.

This King Richard is about to have a horrible, horrible death eventually.

I know how King Richard II dies.

The king only took advisors with him who had not been openly threatened with murder, which was admittedly only about three people of his royal court,

as well as of a large party of knights to protect him.

And a large party is only like 20 guys at this point.

Not nearly large enough, should anything go sideways.

And things were not calm.

As the king was like walking through the streets, he's on horseback.

People were like throwing stuff.

And one guy literally grabbed the king's horse by its reins, pulled the horse down, punched it, and started screaming at the king.

Yeah, I mean, look, you know, sometimes you got to fight a horse.

I, you know, a hay when you got to fight a horse at the unction, you know.

I got ever been so bad you threw a haymaker at the king's horse.

Hey, that's a good double layer joke.

I've never been so mad I wanted to physically assault a horse.

I don't like these guys must be like, and not to mention, remember, most of these guys are blind fucking drunk on a mix of stella and the world's nastiest wine.

Once again, it is Liverpool Street at 11 p.m.

on a Thursday night.

Yeah, I bet, I bet, like, tonight I'll see someone punch a horse.

Yes.

Well,

maybe not tonight.

Maybe not.

Well, actually,

we'll see.

I'll keep it updated.

I'll keep you updated on the horse assault case.

It's really strange because, like, um, the area I live in, like, I very rarely see police, like, aside from when they're like driving through.

Um, there is currently kind of a gang war going on near where I live.

So like people are getting stabbed.

Yeah, the groats versus the scroats.

Yeah.

But quite often I see police on horseback for some reason.

Weird.

Back in the Netherlands, I have seen police on horseback during the NATO summit and they just like shit all over the streets.

It's wonderful.

Horses.

Don't like them.

Everybody's can't trust them.

Punch the king's horse.

Animals shouldn't have anxiety.

My dog is anxious whenever I leave the room.

There you go.

Animals shouldn't have anxiety.

Anxiety is for people.

And poodles.

No, no animal should have anxiety.

Make anxiety human again.

Yes, exactly.

And just think of what all this looks like to this 14-year-old king.

It must have looked like he went on an alien planet.

The king never talks to peasants.

Yeah.

And now he's riding in a mob of them.

One of them decked his fucking horse.

And they're all like covered in black soot from constantly burning shit down.

They're covered in blood from the constant stream of beheadings that's happening in Cheapside.

Some people are carrying severed heads.

They're either blind, drunk, or terribly hungover.

It must have looked absolutely insane.

Now, the king makes it to Miles End, but none of the rebel leaders had come.

Ball and Tyler remained at the Tower of London with a massive body of men.

Meaning nobody inside was able to escape as originally planned.

Once again, Joe, it's mile end, not miles end.

The people are screaming at you in the comments.

Mile end.

Well, there's a difference between a mile and miles, okay?

Debatable, but go on.

He's not called mile Davis.

But what if there's more than one of them?

He's moving back and forth very quickly.

It looks like two.

Then it's Mile Davis's.

Miles Davis's.

Long distance runner and jazz improvisation, Miles Davis's.

But still, thousands of rebels made the trip.

And the king then asked rebels to pick a leader from amongst themselves and come afford and talk to him.

And again, he was like, What are you doing?

Yeah.

And what can I do to help you?

The rebels, this time around, very moderate because their leadership isn't there.

They asked for freedom, manumission from serfdom.

They asked that no one be compelled to work unless it's by choice under mutually agreed upon contract.

And what amounted to be rent control?

They didn't demand the heads of anyone.

They didn't demand a fundamental change of government.

They didn't ask for like a fundamental change of the Catholic Church.

And to this, the king agreed

immediately, on the spot.

The crowd immediately deflates.

They have no idea how to respond to this.

They never expected this.

The revolutionary fervor, if you want to call it, immediately leaves their bodies.

And it's kind of like, you know, a dog catches the car that's chasing.

And then the king, well, he may have been caught up in the moment because he goes further.

Okay.

Because it's important to remember how much of a fundamental change to England this agreement would make on the spot.

And then he decides: it's like, I understand your complaints against the members of the court.

You see them as being traitors.

So I am deputizing you to hunt down traitors throughout England and bring them to the king's court for judgment.

Ah, that's not a good idea.

No, it's a death squad.

He just green lighted a death death squad.

Yeah, it's, you know, ye-old Khmer Rouge.

Yep.

Once again,

it's the English Khmer Rouge.

This is a bit of a problem when everybody knows exactly where the men they think are traitors are hiding.

And now they have all been greenlit.

In seconds, the thousands of rebels that were chilling in front of the king just broke out into a sprint towards the Tower of London.

The king shrugged and left towards Baynard Castle.

He was like, yeah, not going back there though.

Oh, fuck it.

I'm gone.

Now, like, some people have argued that, like, he didn't know what was going to happen.

He said, bring them to the king's court for judgment, not, like, become a death squad.

But there's thousands of people.

They have beheaded several hundred people at this point.

They have burnt down massive swaths of the city.

You have seen these things.

And you're like, well, they'll surely listen to me.

Meanwhile, at the tower, things were grip.

As the attitude in the crowd began to change.

There's maybe a hundred guards in the tower.

And from the change in energy outside, they knew they were quite screwed.

And things in the tower were getting quite bad anyway because the rebels had blocked off anybody from getting inside with like food and water.

And the tower of London was not stocked like it was going to be the victim of a prolonged siege.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ball and Tyler were outside urging men closer and closer and screaming in the guards' face to lower the drawbridge.

and stop protecting the traitors.

And the guards eventually got word of the king's orders.

And it's like, well, he kind of made them all more powerful than we are.

Okay.

Inside the Tower of London is the Duke of Sudbury, the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Like the number one public enemy, number like, I'll say like 1.5, because of course John of Gaunt is number one.

Yes.

But he's fucked off to Scotland.

He's nowhere near any of this.

And there's a lot of reasons why.

they want Sudbury's head.

And a fair amount of that is mostly coming from Ball.

As the Archduke of Canterbury, he had excommunicated Ball four times and threw him in prison three times.

So like John Ball definitely like whipping up the crowd for his personal grievance there.

But also as Archbishop of Canterbury, he is like giving a religious veneer to a lot of this crushing taxation and these feudalism laws and serfdom and all this other shit.

And he is the pinnacle of the things that need to die for this more equitable version of the church to be built.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he's in the Tower of London.

The guards simply dropped the bridge and stepped aside.

Like, well, I mean, if the king gave you permission, we have no power.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The rebels rushed into the tower.

They kind of like mocked the guards and like pointed at him and stuff.

Yeah.

John of Gaunt wasn't there, but many people connected to him were.

They like worked for his house, so to say.

And they were quickly captured, as was the archbishop.

Everyone captured had a hood thrown over their heads.

They got smacked around a bit, led over to Tower Hill, and were beheaded.

Fun.

Yeah.

Oh, even funner, though, none of these guys were good executioners.

Oh, no.

So it was a whole lot of like chopping wood trying to get the heads off.

Someone said it took like nine times to get the Archbishop's heads on.

And he was probably alive for at least half of that.

Oh, God.

Look, you know,

you got to give it to the French.

The guillotine is just an incredible invention.

I mean, there's one of the greatest griffs that existed back in the day was to be an executioner because people would pay them extra to make sure the axe was sharp.

Yeah.

So they didn't fuck up the job.

Nobody there got paid that day.

No growths going around.

No growths.

The rebels had gotten what they wanted.

Their arch traitor, minus John of Gaunt, of course, was dead.

But that led to a strange little problem.

What now?

These men who were given the junior sheriff's badge to hunt down anyone they considered considered traitors were now entirely charge of London.

And the king was right in one thing.

Giving in to the demands of the rebels did make a lot of them go home.

Especially after they chopped off the archbishop's head.

However, those were the chillest of rebels.

Left in London were the true radicals.

They saw traitors fucking everywhere.

And just like with the archbishop, they were not going to submit them to the court.

In their heads, the king's order made them the court.

Oh.

Now gangs of rebels stalked the city under severed heads of the royal courtmen held aloft on spears.

They found more people they considered traitors, more beheadings took place, and more heads were added to set spears.

So it just kind of looks like a kebab at this point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nothing and nowhere were off limits from their hunt, even Westminster Abbey, which also happened to be a place where a lot of people had hidden, knowing that they would fall into the traitor category.

It did not take long for groups of rebels to find them, start beating the shit out of them, and like capturing the men they were after.

They were dragged over to Cheapside to get their heads hacked off by the neighborhood's worst executioner.

And again, their heads were added to the spears, which at this point must have been very heavy.

In the middle of all this, distinctly non-rebels would make up fake charges against business competitors and tell the rebels of their crimes, real or imagined, who in turn would cut heads off.

Then the original guy who accused them would just take over their business.

One man, a local fishmonger, turned his once small business into a monopoly in one neighborhood because he had ratted out all of his neighbors for fake crimes.

I am Captain Birdseye now.

And in case you're wondering, yes, this is when a large group of armed Englishmen also turned on any foreigners they found, namely the Flemish.

What's their reasoning?

Fuck them.

That's why.

I mean, it mostly boiled down to the same reason anybody hates foreigners.

It's like, oh, the reason why I don't have X or Y is because of them.

The reason why my shitty fishmonger business is going out of business is because of the Flemish.

There's also a lot of Germans and Italians around too.

They also got murdered.

But yeah, they really, really poured out some hatred for the Flems.

It's like, when you were starting that sentence, I was like, here comes the anti-Semitism.

If they could have found him for sure, if they found any population, any notable population of Jewish people, definitely the same thing would have happened.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

By June 15th, the rebels were effectively in control of London.

The army was either still in France or on the Scottish border, and everyone tasked with maintaining order in England was either executed by, you know, giving them permission to do it, which of course, the king was regretting.

Tyler and Ball had ignored any other royal messengers since they were given the keys to the city.

Rumors flew that they were just going to finish the job, go after the king, destroy the church, and replace it with their pseudo-Jesuit apostolic mashup that Ball believed in.

But the most popular and widely believed rumor in the court was that they were going to burn all of London to the ground.

Which, to be fair, they were doing a lot of heavy lifting as to why they would believe that.

So the king turned to, let's call it the military solution to this issue.

Walworth, the mayor, as well as John Philpott, an alderman and member of the Grocer's Guild, and Nicholas Brember, the former mayor of London and one of the most wealthy men in the city.

Now, none of these men were military guys, but their idea was: hey, we got money.

Let's just hire a bunch of guys to fuck these people up.

I mean, this was common as well.

And they could rely on loyalists with their men-at-arms to give at least some professional soldiers to this whole deal.

The military thinking is left to another advisor, Sir Robert Knowles, a war hero who had taken two French cities during the Hundred Years' War and had been made fantastically wealthy and had several men at arms.

Any worries about order, making the rebels happy so they'd go home, shit like that, none of that was there this time around.

It was decided that whatever damage they did destroying the rebels was less damage than the rebels would do if they were left alone.

So, the king ordered his advisors to mobilize their private armies.

Meanwhile, it was decided that they should probably try and just get the rebels out of the city walls to make any battle easier.

So the king would try the same thing he did at Mile End.

He would send a message asking for the rebels to come and meet him personally, this time at Smithfield, a semi-enclosed field normally reserved for festivals and the occasional execution.

For example, that's where William Wallace got executed, and his guts burned in front of him and his dickenballs cut off.

And his grill falling to the ground.

Yeah.

R.I.P.

Grilliam Wallace.

That's right.

Never forget.

Once again, thousands of rebels gathered waiting for the king.

When the king arrived, With his party, they personally demanded Watt Taylor step forward to speak with them.

So Watt Taylor, chest out, fucking proud as shit that the king knew his name, did as he was told.

This time around, things had changed, though.

The entire point of this rebellion, from many of their perspectives, in the beginning, was to return power to the boy king, with the idea that he'd been corrupted by, of course, the Council of Unks chaired by Unk John of Gaunt.

But he himself was revered as a savior of the people if only he was allowed to rule.

But now Tyler, he didn't kneel before the king.

He wouldn't take off his hood.

He didn't get off his horse.

He didn't even call him king.

Instead, he called him brother.

And you can just imagine the recoiling and horror going through the king.

Brother.

He Hulk Hoganed him.

I mean, this could be, this is why I generally believe that I think to understand the revolt, you need to understand it as John Ball is in charge.

He's the guiding force between this, behind all this, because Watt Taylor was not talking like this before.

Or maybe he was just high on success.

Because look at all of they've done.

This man just executed the Archbishop of Canterbury.

He's just running on the DJ Khaled We the bass.

Exactly.

He dreams of being Mr.

Worldwide, but worldwide is just England.

Yeah.

Because that is the only world he's ever conceptualized.

Of course, the king does not respond well to this show of equality and instead asks him why he wouldn't leave London, which Tyler responds that he demands a charter, one that followed Ball's thinking, i.e., an abolishment of nobility, though the king would remain, but as an equal ruler to a parliament of the commons, the true commons, not the house of commons as it currently existed.

The church would be transformed to the one that Ball dreamed of.

Also, going back to the doomsday book we talked about in part one, the book that all of these guys believed was the true law of the land because they got fleeced by some sovereign citizen lawyers, Taylor demanded the book become the only law of the the land and called it the law of Winchester.

Now, this was actually a thing that existed.

I should stop and point out, but Tyler was just wrong at what the law was because, of course, he was.

The man could not read.

It had nothing to do with the doomsday book.

Rather, it was the Statue of Winchester from 1285 that he was referring to, even if he didn't know it, because why would he?

It effectively devolved government power away from a central body to local ones, including policing, taxation, virtually virtually all matters were supposed to come down to a kind of collective responsibility,

which makes sense in context.

It was written in 1285.

A centralized government was just not possible.

So this was a way for a kingdom to work, but it wasn't based on serfdom, hypothetically.

But of course, that is what it turned into.

But the long heads and lungs kind of fall out of favor and ended.

It's been almost 100 years.

They also demanded full manumission or an end to English serfdom, as well as any class-based laws that limited what the newly freedmen could do, eat, or own.

Then to the absolute shock of Tyler and the gathering rebels, the king smiled and said, all right.

Yeah, he's 14.

Yeah.

Well, it was a trap.

The king told Tyler, the only thing I'm saving is my crown.

This is a trap.

And this is where we'll pick up on our conclusion to our series on the English Peasants' Revolt of 1381.

Yeah, brother.

Listen to your brother.

You're going to give us equal representation in terms of the law and the government, and we're going to pay less taxes, brother.

He's hitting them with the classic Hogan of like, that doesn't work for me, brother.

Don't turn this shoot into a work.

Don't turn this work into a shoot.

But that is part three.

How are you feeling?

I am excited to hear how this goes very, very, very wrong for Richard II.

It goes really wrong for everyone.

But we do get introduced to probably my favorite guy in the story in part three.

Okay.

So I'm really looking forward to that.

But that is a podcast.

Tom, you host another podcast.

Beneath the skin, show about the history of everything, told you the history of tattooing.

I also have books for sale on beneath the skin shop.com.

We also have a live show in Glasgow on the 3rd of October.

at the Flying Duck in Glasgow.

Tickets will be available in the description of this episode.

Come see us live.

I will be dressed as Grillian Wallace.

And it is a really big venue.

So it would be really nice if we didn't feel bad about that.

Come, convince your friends to come.

You will have fun.

Everybody enjoys it or else there will be goofs, gaffs, and maybe even some japes.

That's right.

This is the only show that I host.

Thank you for listening to it.

If you like it, consider supporting us on Patreon.

Five bucks gets you absolutely everything.

Seven and a half years of bonus content, science series, e-books, audiobooks, first dibs on merchant live show tickets.

Leave a review where you listen to podcasts.

It helps us.

And tell your friends, people online that you like us, share our content on social media, or if you don't do social media, a message in a bottle.

It helps us immensely get the word out because we're an independent show.

We don't have any real marketing or advertisements, and it helps us a lot.

Until next time, put on the vestments, dance around, get goofy with it.

Don't listen to your unks.