Passion to Zyxx

Hello there, Zix fans.

It's Seth with our monthly release leading up to the Young Old Derf Chronicles this month, suggested by Kaj Celsius over on the Mission to Zix Discord, who said,

I don't have a clever title, but like I always love hearing people talk about their hobbies or passion projects.

Well, Kaj Celsius, you do have a clever title because it's right in your pitch here.

I hereby present the first, the final episode of Passion 2 6,

in which not one, not three,

but two

past guests will detail their niche hobbies/slash passions to cast members.

Not to say that we, the cast members ourselves, don't have our own such hobbies.

I have a not-so-secret Lego addiction spawned from finding a misprint Princess Leia Lego hairpiece that was somehow worth $450 and sent me down a deep and expensive hole into Lego.

Allie has been known to geocache with the best of them.

Jeremy was once deep into roller derby culture as a referee, and Mujan definitely does not participate in an underground dominoes league.

As she would say, don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it.

That list goes on, but today it's all about the past guests, two fan favorites, two cast favorites, and their obsessions.

Later in the episode, Mujan will talk with Rachel Winitsky, also known as Marf in the Zix world, about a not-so-common collecting habit that she has.

But first, we're going to kick things off with Leslie Collins, aka

the one and only Miss Janelle Fitzmeyer, who spoke with our very own Jeremy Bent.

Oh, hello.

How are you?

So nice to talk to you today.

A pleasure to talk to you as well.

Leslie, you and I have known each other for a long, like we were on a musical improv team together.

Really long time ago, like

15 or more years.

Yeah, like I was thinking about it and I was like, I don't like that.

I don't even remember.

It was a while ago.

And I go back with Mujan as well because we were on a...

a mod team at UCB together.

So

I think that's actually how came into the fold is that y'all had a cancellation of somebody last minute.

We did.

And Bujan or you were like, hey, come and sit in.

And I was like, I don't know what I'm doing, but sure.

Yeah, we were doing a live show in LA during season, while we were recording season two.

And we had one recording session booked with Rekha Shankar, and then we had one with somebody else who I could name, but I won't.

It was probably like a famous person.

And then you're like,

we'll find somebody who'll be sloppy seconds.

And I was like, I was happy to be sloppy seconds.

But he canceled literally day of.

And I was like, hey, Leslie's in town.

She's great.

And we were like, okay, if she's available.

And not only were you, you became like a beloved character.

Y'all were really sweet.

And

I had so much fun.

She was a fun character.

And I was just playing my friend Julie.

I was just playing her mom.

Her mom in my ear always sounds like that.

Well, it struck a chord because she is a character that people really seem to enjoy.

Yeah.

And we've brought her back to much acclaim from Zix fans.

But Miss Janelle is not the focus today.

Today, we are talking about one of your very real passions.

And I know this because I've known you for a long time and you are, you are into this.

Yes.

And I'm, and I don't know that I've ever really talked to you about this.

Today, we are talking about your passion, your love

of the sport of sumo wrestling.

That's right.

Sumo.

Yeah.

Sumo.

Now,

I think I might be the best Zix cast member to interview you about this because I studied Japanese in college.

I took a year of Japanese at Boston University.

Hontoni.

I almost got a like East Asian Studies minor because I took modern Japanese history and I took Culture of the Samurai was a class that my Japanese teacher taught that was amazing.

I took Japanese cinema in translation.

So I'm reasonably well familiar with Japanese culture.

My Japanese is very bad as I have not practiced it in close to 25 years.

I've also been brushing up because last year I went to Japan,

but I was, I had hopes of speaking more in Japanese, but I just clammed up whenever I was anywhere close to a wrestler.

I acted like a freaked out fan

and did not use any of my skills.

But you, you did spend quite a bit of time in Japan, if I'm not mistaken.

Yes, I did.

I spent about a year, but it was so many years ago.

So I think I was 23 or 24, 25, somewhere in that range.

So it was like 25 years ago.

Now you can put math together and be like, she old.

So I worked for Tokyo Disney.

It was like my very first paying professional gig or one of them.

It was very exciting.

Right out of college, I studied musical theater.

So I went over there to sing and dance.

I was hired just basically to be an American in this

big band show where we sang big band music from yesteryear and we tap danced at the same time and the japanese do everything with honor and perfection and excellence so you know you normally go to a theme park here and all the music's canned you know it's like they push play and like you're dancing and it's There we had a 17-piece.

They wouldn't dare.

They would not.

They did not.

They put a 17-piece orchestra with us on stage and we tap danced.

And we would do this in the middle of typhoons that would come through.

It was like partially outdoors, which was kind of dangerous.

Yeah.

But anyway, I did that.

And when I was there, we had basically a minder, an American kid minder, meaning like the guy that lived in the American village.

And he was Japanese.

His name was like Hide-san, that's what we called him.

And he was, he would teach Japanese classes to us.

This is like before the internet, I swear.

So it's like he had to do it old school.

And I remember looking at a book and being like, I don't know how to pronounce this, reading a book.

How am I going to learn?

So, Hide-san was responsible for keeping us in line late at night because we were a bunch of Americans and we were living in like a nice Japanese neighborhood with other actual Japanese families.

And of course, a bunch of a-hole like kids from the States who have never been wild and free are all over in Japan, all horny, all trying to get drunk, all trying to like do all the things you're not supposed to do.

And he, that was not me, by the way.

I was not one of those kids.

Um,

no, for real, I was like,

sweet, young, virginal, innocent, like everything.

I was like, I'm just here to be a Disney, Disney thing.

And

so Hide-san would take us under his wing and he would also, for those of us that were interested, take us to certain places around town and translate and kind of get us into Japanese culture, show us the customs.

So anyway, he took a few of us to see a sumo tournament.

Sumo at that time, this was like 98, 99, was huge because there was kind of like a resurgence because there were two American guys who were at the top of the ranks over there called Yokozuna.

They were from Hawaii and like American Samoa.

Sure, sure.

And their names were Akebono and Musashi Maru.

And they were Yokozunas.

So that is, in the sport, that's like the best of the best.

That's like being like a chess grandmaster.

Yes.

And you make the most money, you're never supposed to lose.

And at that time, there were also two brothers who happened to be Yokozuna.

So there were four Yokozuna.

And right now, there's actually two, but like one's very, they're both very new.

You usually only have one or two at any given time, sometimes none, because it's a very hard rank to achieve.

So at that point, there were four Yokozuna.

Two of them were American, and two were brothers, the Wakanahana and Takanahana.

Amazing.

And I say their names because in Sumo, they have what's called Shikona, which is a ring name.

So it's not their name they're born with, but it's their fighting ring name.

Sort of like American professional wrestling.

Yeah, it's like the Terminator or

Crazy Wind or Running Horse or whatever.

So it's kind of fun when you learn like what they're like Fuji you hear a lot that could be mountain or kaze is wind.

So they all they have like the translations like strong wind.

So I got into the sport then and when I saw it in person, and what's amazing about it, what I loved is it's very easy to follow.

It's the first guy who hits the dirt, or the first guy out of this like four and a half meter circle.

Yeah.

There are no weight classes.

So the big guys can go up against the little guys,

and you would think that the big guy is always going to crush the little guy, but he doesn't.

Oftentimes, the little guy sweeps his legs out from under him.

So it was easy for me without understanding, you know, Japanese, like who won and who lost.

And there's so much tradition.

Japan has like, like at any given time, there's a bunch of religions that they practice there.

Yeah.

But a lot of sumo is steeped in Shinto religion, like ritual.

So their hairstyles,

the loincloth they wear, which is called a mawashi.

the kesha mawashi, which is the big apron they wear when they do the ring entering ceremony.

All of this

and the rituals that they do before and after the bouts have like a connection to Japanese history and culture religion.

And I was like, I got to know more.

Yeah, it's like their religion is very ceremonial, but like just their culture in general is extremely big on ceremony and sort of following.

traditions and

like a Japanese tea ceremony is like famously a very long and involved thing, and it's very beautiful, but it has all these steps and they take like two to three hours, if I'm remembering correctly.

Yeah, yeah.

And so it's no surprise that, like, yeah, sumo, which is, you know, one of a few sort of sports national to Japan is like, is very similar where there's a lot of ritual.

If you're there for the first time, you're like, why are they doing this?

And then after you go for a couple of times, you're like, well, they can't start until they do this.

This is extremely important.

Right.

Exactly.

So there's so much to discover in it.

And so,

yeah,

I had been a fan then.

And then, you know, like I said, the internet and streaming and all that wasn't around.

So I couldn't watch again.

Yeah, so when you got back to the States, you had to sort of give it up a little bit.

Yeah, for many years, like 14 years, till I found the NHK World News Network, which is like Japanese PBS, which is great.

If you ever want to go to sleep, you can find any documentary that, or Japanese television show.

There's some crazy stuff on there because Japanese do have incredibly crazy and delightful TV shows.

They're game shows.

Game shows are

like unbelievable.

But they also have like very calming like shows about ice making or like Persimmons and Kyoto.

You know, it's just like you could fall asleep and turn it on and it's just very calming.

So I found the NHK World News Network.

Like you can get it on your Roku or Apple TV.

And then they have Grand Sumo highlights.

So

yeah, and they have English commentating, which was huge for me because I kind of understood, but I didn't understand all of it.

I didn't understand the sport, how it was breaking down.

I didn't know the guys' names as much.

And so then I got really back into it.

And I could watch, there's six tournaments a year.

There's actually one going on right now.

And they're 15 days long.

So every day for 15 days, you can get a 30-minute highlight reel and with English commentary.

So I started to watch that.

And then

I learned a lot more about the sport.

And then

as I was doing that, I lived at home because it was the pandemic.

And my sister came through the living room and she was like, why are you always watching these guys?

And I was like, well, this TV is the only one that has the Roku on it.

So I got to watch it in the living room.

And my sister got into it as well.

She started to get real real curious.

And at the time, there was a wrestler who was the greatest, he was actually from Mongolia originally, one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, the most winning wrestler of all time, the Mohamed Ali of Sumo, but he's Mongolian, so he doesn't get the full respect because he's not Japanese.

But his name was Hakaho, which is another aspect of Japanese women.

Yes, they are

homogeneous, and he was not one of them.

But no matter what the case was, he really was.

He won like 65 tournaments over his career.

Like nobody could beat this guy.

I can go on a whole other tangent about Mongolian boke wrestling.

We might have to save that for a future segment.

Anyway, so she got in love.

She kind of fell in love with him.

And, you know, it's easy to fall in love with these guys.

They're big, they're strong, they're muscular.

They're not all...

They don't all look like butterballs, you know?

A lot of them are like massive traps.

So then she she got into it.

And then we decided out of the boredom and the time that we had to start a podcast.

And then we've been doing a podcast every week for the last, I think, five years.

We have

267, 200, I don't even know, episodes.

Way ahead of Zix.

I mean, I'm amazed I do it every week, but here I am.

Every week I break down some aspect of the sport or I break down like what, what's this wrestler all about?

What's his style?

All that kind of stuff.

So I have become, oddly,

I wouldn't say I'm a complete expert, but I would say, yeah, I might be an expert.

I'm like working my way to be an expert in this sport.

This is similar to like, I don't consider myself a Eurovision expert.

I think my co-host Dimitri might qualify as a true Eurovision expert.

But as an American, I know more than probably 99% of Americans about Eurovision.

Yeah.

I did see her Eurovision pictures and I was like, I need to go.

That looks amazing.

And the same way, it's like for 90, probably 99.9% of Americans, you know way more about sumo.

So yeah, like you become an expert.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Had your sister been to Japan before she started watching Subo with you?

No, my sister's funny in this way.

She, when she gets into something, she's like, oh, I'm getting into that.

so when she watched a bunch of lord of the rings movies she got so into peter jackson she was like i think i'm gonna go to new zealand and get my master's in documentary filmmaking and she did right wow she's just like you know what i'm really interested in reiki and then she gets herself certified in in rei you know like she just has this ability to go get into something and excel at it.

She's just a brainiac.

So we compliment each other well because I had lived there.

I hadn't been back since until this last year.

We both went this last year.

And we have a following online.

So like it was really fun for us to continue kind of bringing like that kind of experience from us, Japan, seeing the tournament and to our listeners.

So she went with me then.

But we make a nice combo because we both edit, we both have different perspectives on it.

But she really likes to get into the nitty-gritty of the actual techniques and what's called kimarite.

That's the way somebody could bring down an opponent.

There's like, I don't know, 82, I don't know.

There's like a bunch of different ways you could, you could make somebody fall down to the ground or out of the circle.

And so she likes kind of the technical body aspect of things, like why, why this guy pulls this way with his right arm and all the gravitational.

Sorry, that's my dog who insists on coming in.

That's okay.

I wouldn't say I bring the personality.

She has personality too, but like, I have different interests.

Like every sumo wrestler sings.

Did you know that they all do karaoke machines?

Everyone, every single one of them.

That's amazing.

And imagine

yeah.

So, what happens?

Like, Japanese love karaoke, right?

They love it.

Yeah, they love it.

It's like part of their culture.

So, every time they go to an event, like these guys are asked to just hold a microphone and be like, We're going to turn on the karaoke machine, and we need you to sing.

And

there is a strong tradition of sumo singing within this ancient sport.

They live live monastically, like in what's called a stable.

And when they're younger, they don't have rights.

Basically, they have to go higher up in their ranks to be able to have more privileges.

So they hang around the stable and then they play video games, they sleep there, they eat there, they do everything together.

But they have to go to sumo school and they have to learn about all their traditions and all the sumo songs.

So, not all of them are great singers, but surprisingly, many of them are.

Imagine going to see

like, I don't know, Travis Kelsey.

And

everywhere he goes, they hand him a microphone and then they're like, okay, go ahead and sing me a Frank Sinatra song.

Yeah, he does a bunch of jazz standards and you're like, huh.

Okay.

It's really fun.

And they have like, so there's.

Sumo always has events, like fan events.

They have a belly touching event where the guys go, there's all these fans that are there.

They all sing songs, they play games, or they do all these like things that totally please fans.

And then at the end of the two hours of the, you know, asking questions, them singing songs and games, the crowd is allowed to go through one by one and touch the belly of a sumo wrestler.

So half of the stuff we talk about is not always the technicality of like sumo and

during the tournaments, it is.

It's all the sport.

But between the tournaments, it's like they do all kinds of silly events and there's always news.

There's always scandal.

There's always stuff like that.

So there's plenty of stuff to talk about.

And we have our fans write poetry, songs, because we have a Valentine's Day episode.

So it's like, there's a lot of people who are really into the sport and they follow us and they love the fluff.

Have you ever talked about, because this is one thing I know about Sumo, having read the book Freakodomics,

where they talk about high-ranked sumo throwing matches to each other

so that they don't lose standing.

Well, that happened for many, many years.

They say it doesn't happen now, but I have a hard time believing that.

So the guys have to hold a rank of, it's called, I won't get too technical, it's called kachikoshi.

It means that within 15 days, they have more wins than losses.

Right.

Okay.

You have to have a positive win-loss.

Right.

And if they don't, they have what's called a makikoshi.

So if you get a kachikoshi, that means you go up in rank, like maybe one or two levels, but that means you have like a better chance of making more money.

You have a better way to getting all the way up to the top of the rankings where you're the big baller, right?

So,

this is what would happen: is somebody who is a high-ranking guy

might have a buddy because they all know each other very well.

Of course, they all went to sumo school, right?

They all know each other.

Well, in the old days, they would be like, Hey, man, you already have your kachikoshi, and I'm at seven and seven.

If you kind kind of lose this one today,

I'll throw you some cash and then I will have my kachikoshi and I'll keep my rank because you don't want to lose rank because then you lose money.

But the thing is, there was a huge scandal that's come up a number of times about match fixing.

There was a yokozuna of yesteryear who

got kicked out because of that.

Oh, yeah, there's been a lot of scandal.

But the crazy thing is, is that they say it doesn't happen.

And I really do watch it sometimes.

We're like, okay, it makes sense that that match might have been fixed.

But they have been watched so much by the Japanese public who does not like any of that funny business.

Guys have died in the sport due to harassment.

Like it has been brutal in the past.

And the Japanese public's like, no, no, no.

Maybe in the past y'all were cool with that.

Not anymore.

So they really are much better about it.

But does it it probably happen?

Yeah, there's some times I watch and I'm like,

that guy didn't look like he was trying as hard as I know he could.

But then there's always something with injuries too that you're never aware of.

Yeah, I was going to say, I was like, I can't imagine that sport is kind to the body.

No, I mean,

they eat a lot because they have to.

They have what's called chanco nabe.

Every time they practice in the morning for three hours, they go, they get cleaned up, they have this massive meal, and then they take a nap.

And that's how they put on the weight.

And by the way, the weight is not always the case for every wrestler some guys are like yeah morbidly obese and it takes a toll on their body years later they die younger than most people

but uh some other guys they don't eat quite as much but they still have to be big yeah there's so much muscle underneath that so they have to kind of eat like that and and work out like that well i i don't know i like any sort of implication of not trying your hardest would would naturally turn off a japanese audience yes but like, I do think it makes sumo more interesting to know that there's this like behind the scenes sort of like

oh, yeah.

I mean, and it's no, it's no secret.

The sumo association in the past, the yakuza, which is the Japanese mafia, can be everywhere.

And in this old sport, um,

yeah, it they used to sometimes be in bed with gambling and yakuza activities.

I'm assuming people bet on sumo matches.

Yes.

And the wrestlers, you know, they're under the thumb of their coach, which is called an Oyakata.

So there's all these different stables, kind of whatever environment each stable is.

How would you know what's right or what's wrong if you came into the sport at 15?

Like, how would you know a world without harassment or what they call power harassment, which is basically hazing?

How would you know a world where match fixing is wrong if everyone around you is doing it and your oyakata looks the other way or part of it.

Guys you've looked up to or who taught you growing up are like, oh, yeah, you know, sometimes you should call them.

Yeah, it's fine.

It's fine.

And your coach was an old wrestler.

So that's the way it works.

So he knows.

He just comes from the older generation where things were tougher and more, you know, more loosey-goosey when it comes to that.

So these young kids don't always know, you know, but I'd say overall today,

you don't see it as much.

The punishment is extremely strict strict for any

stepping away.

Yes.

I mean,

if there's any sort of lying, if there's any sort of breaking of the rules, especially during COVID, like you get canceled from the sport.

Yeah.

Few Japanese celebrities of any stripe bounce back from scandal in Japan.

They don't.

They don't.

They're just like, bye.

Yeah, it's a pretty tough system.

Yeah.

They don't, not a lot of PR teams in Japan willing to do rehab assignments.

Well, what's crazy is that they have this Japanese Sumo Association, which is like 800 or so former wrestlers that has their own publicity arm.

So the publicity arm is essentially run by a bunch of wrestlers who don't have any training in publicity.

But that's so fun though.

It's just such a mess, but like a delightful mess because it's done by these old coots that have no idea how to do it.

So if I want to get into Sumo, I can get NHK World News on my streaming device.

Oh, yeah, and you can also just go to YouTube and just look for Grand Sumo highlights.

And you might see the word Basho, which is their word for a tournament.

But you can translate that into Japanese, the kanji, and then also Google that and find that.

Or it might be easier if I just check out Sumo Kaboom.

That's right!

You know, we have a lot of fun stuff that we do to get people kind of involved.

So we run a Basho, like a tournament bingo contest.

Oh, that's fun.

Your card is all the wrestlers.

And then if they get a winning record, that's the kachi koshi or a machi koshi.

But if you get, yeah, if you get a bingo, then we give away prizes.

And

yeah, it's a jar of my homemade jam, but also we have like

we give away merch, like gift cards for merch.

Sure.

I've had Leslie Collins' homemade jam before, and it's really good.

This is crazy.

I've shipped my jam across, like, I've sent it to Norway.

Wow.

We have people all over the world who play this.

I've shipped jam to all over this world.

And I think

there's not that many English-speaking, you know,

sumo podcasts.

Yeah.

We're one of three.

So

we have a lot of listeners and they're all over the world and they're just sumo fans.

So we have our bingo contest, which is a really great way to learn who the wrestlers are, kind of figure out what their names are and how they match up on a card, and then win prizes free to play.

We also have raffles.

We're giving away like some signed merch from one guy who's,

we have this amazing connection to one guy who is from the Ukraine, actually.

He's from Ukraine, and he came to Japan, I think, right amidst all of the insanity.

And he's done amazingly well, and he's beaten all of the Yokozuna.

This tournament, he may very well win the whole thing, which is unheard of because it's only only his second or third tournament in the top division.

So his name is Ionishiki, and we're giving away,

we got three or four signed items from him personally.

So we are silly.

We talk about the sport.

We just talk about like fun wrestler stuff and the history of Japan and a lot of the culture.

It sounds very fun.

It sounds like if you were interested in getting into sumo, this is a great way to do it.

Like, I certainly didn't know that they sang.

That is my new favorite sumo fact.

Oh, yeah.

They'll, they'll dance for you, too.

I mean,

it's just so much fun.

So much fun.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to start watching some sumo and I'm going to start listening to some sumo kaboom.

Leslie, thank you so much.

Oh,

my pleasure.

It's been so fun.

It's always good to chat with you.

It's good to see your face, too.

But it's really nice to just chat with you and just and hang out.

It's always a good time.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know who else will be in this episode, but I'm sure they're going to start talking now.

Ah, so right, you are, Jeremy.

This is when I'm talking.

Hello, it's Seth again.

What a wonderful discussion with Leslie Collins.

Please do check out Sumo Kaboom on the podcast app of your choice.

And if you would like to revisit the Mission to Xix episodes with Miss Janelle Fitzmeyer, God bless her.

Her first appearance was in episode 213, Attack Some of the Clones, and then she returned in season 5, episode 515, Gary's Home Companion.

The Eurovision podcast that Jeremy mentioned obliquely that he co-hosts is called Eurovangelists.

Okay, next, another beloved guest, Rachel Winitsky, who, of course, plays the space wielder and hoarder Marf in conversation with Mujan Zolfagari.

Rachel Winitzki, it's so wonderful to have you on this, of course, 1000th episode of Passion to Zix.

I think that's

what an honor.

Marp, huge part of the Zix canon.

And similarly to Marf in a way, you are a person who collects things and has a collection of their own.

What is your passion, you would say?

Well, I have a lot of passions.

I have a lot of hoarding tendencies.

I collect a few things, the biggest of which is vintage salt and pepper shakers.

Okay.

I've seen these.

Yeah.

And you have more than like two, I would say.

You would have

more than two, I think less than a hundred, but like

there's certainly a lot in my house.

They're, they're in three different locations.

So it's a little bit of like a jump scare when people come over and they're like, oh, they see like one part of the collection.

They're like, oh my God, like, that's so cool.

Your salt and pepper shakers.

And they like turn around and there's more of them.

And then they're like, huh.

And then I go and look over there and they look at the third location and they're like okay and then by that point they're sort of like

how interesting yeah and then these aren't just like your run of the mill salt pepper shakers they're more how would you describe them like what makes them unique besides having so many of them um

well they're they're like little guys

I would describe one of my greatest passions in general to be like little guys.

Like, when you are somewhere and they and they're like little guys that you could like take and put in your house and there's like any sort of like

i don't know how else to describe it like just little guys and

uh salt and pepper shakers are like the ultimate little guys to collect because

they come in every form imaginable like

there are ones that are like

apples but like the salt is a whole apple with a slice missing and the pepper is like the slice or or like there's one that I didn't get once that I've thought about literally every day since that was like a naked woman laying on her back and her big round boobs were each a salt like one was salt and one was pepper and you could like remove them.

I have one that's like two fried eggs.

The yolks are the salt and pepper.

Wow.

And then there's ones that are just like dogs, cats.

Yeah.

They're endless and they're all so cute.

What's your most prized salt and pepper shaker?

Oh my god.

Well, I have one that's like this poodle sitting on a chair.

Okay.

But she's like kind of a diva, very 80s.

And the poodle is one of the shakers and then the other shaker is the chair,

which is, I think, funny to me because that's just so random.

Can the poodle, is it sit on the chair?

The poodle is sitting on the chair, which is actually like really precarious.

And I worry about having a delicate collection in a place prone to earthquakes.

Yes.

And I will say, I keep thinking I need to like stick them down with museum wax and then I don't.

But the poodle is actually the only one in my collection that did once fall off the shelf and break and I had to gorilla glue it back together.

You can't tell that it was broken, but I think that's what makes it so unique.

Also, it's just a very precarious

object.

During, you know, the fires, which we both experienced, the fires.

We're going there.

We're going to a dark place.

We're just shifting focus to a dark place.

Because you, we left the city for a little bit, some of us.

Did you consider taking any of these?

Did you take any of them?

That is such a good question because I live in Pasadena, very close to the fires.

And

when we left, I was like running around our house being like, what do I want?

And I'm someone who owns like so much stuff.

Like I am such a collector.

I have like a million and I also have like,

like,

I have like a bunch of vintage phones that I've collected.

And like, oh, just like so much shit, Mujan.

It's everywhere.

And I was like, oh, like.

Everything matters.

And also like nothing matters.

Like, right, right.

And I did think about my salt and pepper shaker collection.

I was like, oh, I'd be devastated to lose this but also like who the fuck cares

that's a good mentality yeah

yeah i did take a painting i took a watercolor that somebody made of our dog bagel

and i took my dad's guitar that i inherited but that was it i didn't take oh and i took my journals

I was like, I'm going to need to remember what I did in 2024.

And that was it.

And my salt and pepper shakers, I left to fucking

rot.

Or you were leaving them in a way for others to discover in the future.

Well, you know what's actually really beautiful is that

apparently a lot of people found ceramics in the rubble.

Yeah.

And I don't know, I don't know how much of these, how many of these salt and pepper shakers are made of like good materials, but

friends found like family heirloom seder plates and the ashes, like things like that because it lasted so like there is something interesting about i don't know like

i bought a ceramic recently from a woman who had lost her house and and had some of her like art that

that she recovered from her studio and was selling it and it was like cracked and she was like it's my collaboration with disaster and I was like that's so fucking cool and it's like amazing and I don't know I was like oh that's cool to think that my like little like ceramics collection could outlast something like that.

So in that way,

hoarding is beautiful.

It's beautiful.

Hold on.

I have some important questions about salt shakers.

Okay, yeah.

So this is a salt shaker flash round.

Okay.

We're going to just like plow through these questions.

Okay.

Okay.

Where do you generally find these salt shakers and pepper shakers?

Flea markets, antique malls, estate sales.

I made a rule for myself that I'm not allowed to buy them online.

Okay.

Yeah.

If I open that up to myself, like I would just like never stop because you can buy unlimited salt shakers online.

Yeah.

I like love going to flea markets and antique stores, but I find them to be really overwhelming.

And it sort of became like, okay, this is like a small thing that usually isn't too expensive.

That can be sort of my goal.

Yeah.

The other way that I often get them is that friends now will like either get them for me.

Like I have one friend, Amy, who like

will be like i'm so sorry but i like saw a bunch that you needed and i got you 12.

i kind of like want you to if you can like list just like from memory right now all the different variations of salt and pepper shakers you have like we know about the dog we know about the the egg one okay i have a set of squirrels with tennis rackets oh yeah you need those i have one that's like a fruit bowl

and it has like a bunch of fruit in it and it's plastic and then the like banana and the and the peach are like the salt and pepper shakers.

I think that's really cool.

I have one that's a

oyster shell that's open and the pearls are the salt and pepper shakers.

I have an umbrella stand where the umbrellas are salt and pepper shakers.

Fantastic.

There's one.

Oh, I have a piano and a piano bench.

I have one that is the

set that my grandmother had of like her everyday dishes.

I found the like salt and pepper shakers that would have gone with that set.

Yeah, and so I got those.

There's some like really weird ones, like asparagus with faces.

And you're like, what went into this decision, this design decision?

I have a dog and cat one that are actually the only ones I ever ordered online because I saw them at a flea market and I didn't get them and I like couldn't stop thinking about

them.

Fantastic.

Yeah, there's a there's a lot of a lot.

Is there anything you think that the general average person may not know about salt and pepper shakers?

Yeah, a lot of them will still have salt and pepper in them.

And

I will get them home and then like it'll spill everywhere.

And there's something like so nasty about like, oh, like, is this 30-year-old pepper?

I don't know.

Other than that,

really, just that a salt and pepper shaker can look like anything.

That's true.

That's true.

Oh, another favorite are ones that my friend Reed found for me that are feet.

Like,

it's just like two

stick-up feet with like, I think they have like red nail polish.

And I just find them to be like so beautiful.

Rachel, when is it?

When will it be enough?

Or do you think this is just like, this is just the start?

Um,

I feel

in my current home, I don't have room for that many more.

Okay.

And I've become

really

picky about them.

And so now when I, when I see them, I'll be like, I become really discerning.

And I'm like, okay, well,

do I need this?

Sometimes I just have like goals.

Like I found a one, I found an owl salt or pepper shaker somewhere that didn't have a pair, a match pair.

Oh.

And it made me really sad because I was like, oh, no one's going to get this because it

doesn't have a match.

And like, I just, if it has a face, I'm like, that's a living being.

Yeah, I can.

And I felt so sad for it.

So like now.

I feel like I completed the main video game and now I'm sort of like going back and like collecting all the coins where I'm like, oh, like if I find the pair for that, if I see the boobs again, like I'm going to get that oh of course

like you

boobs will be guiding you for the rest like that's gonna be your I know and I've I've actually found those online and

it needs to come to you I think it needs to come it needs to come to me and so that's sort of the thing uh

and I think they will yeah so right now you would say your number is between two and a hundred

yeah I should count

I really don't know like I'm gonna count when this is over.

And then do you, and this is like the big question.

I should have asked this number one, but do you actually use any of them?

Absolutely not.

No, right.

No, and I don't even use a regular salt.

Like,

I use like sea salt and a pepper grinder.

Sure.

Also, I do genuinely think it would be gross.

Yes.

I think I just love the idea that you have.

Is this true?

Like,

do you have like orphans?

Like, salts without pep their peppers?

Peppers without without their salts?

I have a few.

Just the owl and the and I have a baguette that's missing a pair.

And again, like

I feel like they'll find me.

Like I think the pears will

I think the pears will come to me.

But also this is a call for action if anyone out there has the other side of these.

I know if you see if you have a little owl

that has holes in the top

you might have a pepper shaker.

You might you might have the second half half.

You might have the link that brings these two together.

That would be so beautiful.

I really hope I find it someday, but also, I think I've given the owl, the singular owl, a good life.

I, because I'm a history nerd, I always like looking up the first.

Did you know about the first salt and pepper shaker?

No, tell me.

Let's do a quiz.

Quiz time.

This is a standard thing we do in mission to no, what is it called?

Passion to 6.

Right.

I should know that.

It's called Passion to Zix.

That's a name that we were doing.

All right.

In what year did a newspaper state a pepper box for salt is the latest Yankee invention?

Was it?

1937.

1872 or 1601.

Okay, was it 1872?

It was 1872!

It was.

The Albany Register on May 10th, 1872 declared the pepper device the hottest new thing.

Wow.

Oh,

that's amazing.

Who knew?

Well, Rachel, thank you so much for telling and teaching and guiding us and inspiring us in the world of your passion, salt and pepper shakers.

And I hope that every one of your salts finds its pepper and vice versa.

Thank you so much, and I will go count them right now.

Okay, if it's more than 100,

I'll lie.

If it's more than 100, I'm going to lie about it.

Well, there you have it, folks.

Are there any less additive words than there you have it, folks, by the way?

Like, yeah, we already knew we had it.

it.

Anyway, to hear the Mission to Zix episodes featuring Rachel as Marf, look for episode 306, The Fresh Connection, an absolute classic, and also episode 512, A Noob Hope, which was actually a two-hander, also featuring Justin Tyler as Old Derf, and episode L10, Just the Tubes of Us.

L stands for live.

That was a live episode we released in a past maximum fun drive.

Speaking of which, and speaking of Derf, please join us in making the Young Old Derf Chronicles.

If you are not yet a supporter, please sign up at maximumfun.org/slash join, and you will not only make the Young Old Derf Chronicles possible later this year, but you will unlock lots and lots of bonus content to tide you over until it debuts, and you will be able to join our festive Discord.

Thanks again to Leslie Collins and Rachel Winditski.

We will be back next month with another episode of not Passion to Zix.

Something else suggested by our beloved supporters.

Maybe you.

Okay, till soon.