MiniMORBID x 2: Cryptids of the Midwest

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Hey, weirdos, i'm ash and i'm elena and this is morbid in the morning

many mini mini mini mini morbid many morbid many morbid many morbid

times two

a kind of double mini morbid in the morning oh yeah bitches we are bringing back you guys love this song so much i created a masterpiece back in 2018 2017 whenever i did it which is hilarious because it started with the joke it should have gone like triple platinum.

Yeah,

where's my Grammy?

But yeah, so we're bringing back the mini morbid theme song.

We're going to start, we kind of do this for spooky episodes already.

Like we each tell a spooky tale.

Today we're going to talk about some cryptids, but we were also thinking in the future, sometimes there are like shorter cases that we don't end up covering because just interesting topics

that are not super long, but very fascinating.

That's the thing.

And like not always enough a full episode, but we figure if we combine forces like we do for spooky episodes, we could do it for other topics too.

Yeah.

And we can bring back the mini morbid theme song because you guys love it so much.

And bitch, old Morbid is back in the house.

Oh, yeah.

So

here's your mini morbid.

Except it's kind of a full morbid, so it's awesome.

It's a full.

It's a full morbid made out of two mini morbids, which is all the more morbid.

I said to Mikey, we should add a little clip, and I don't know if it should be like, times two, at the end, or like, times two.

I like that, times two, times two.

Because it's like, it really hits afterwards.

I like that.

I think we should add that in.

So I get, I mean, we did to this episode.

So A, you'll find out right now.

Yeah.

Or you already found out

what we chose.

You fucked around and you found, you pressed play and you found it.

You did.

All right.

Do you want to go first or do you want me to?

Oh, yay.

Cool.

I like when you go first.

I'll go first.

I'm talking about the beast of Bray Road.

Ooh, that's a lot.

That's spooky.

Yeah, he's scary, everybody.

He's real scary.

Hold on.

Hold on, because I just, oh, it's Wisconsin.

Okay.

I forgot where it was.

Hold on.

I forgot where it was.

Wisconsin, okay.

Is that?

Wait.

I'm sorry.

Is that the Midwest?

Yeah,

Wisconsin is Midwest.

Is Illinois also the Midwest?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right?

Whoa.

Your stomach said, yes.

Mine is from Illinois, so this is Creatures of the Midwest.

Oh my God.

Look at that.

Look at that theme.

Let me double check if Wisconsin.

What if everyone is screaming at us right now, bitch?

That's not the Midwest.

I was like, Wisconsin, Wisconsin.

That's going to be a lot of geography first thing in the morning.

Yes, Wisconsin is.

I knew that.

I feel like Illinois definitely is.

I feel like Illinois is.

No, it definitely is.

Because Drew's data is from Chicago and that's Midwest.

See, I got to stop second-guessing my own fucking knowledge.

I knew about Illinois.

I second-guessed myself too.

All right.

Spooky shit brought to you from the Midwest.

Hell yeah.

Midwestern, spooky fucking shit.

All right.

So one afternoon in early 1992, which it's the 90s.

It was the 90s.

I wasn't even alive yet.

Oh, of 1992.

I was seven.

Wait, that's crazy.

You're such a bitch for experiencing more of the 90s than me.

Oh, the 90s.

No, I know.

The 90s.

I'm nostalgic for it.

There's got to be a different word for that when you're nostalgic for a time that you didn't experience.

Oh, yeah.

I think it's just jealous.

There is a word.

Is there?

For that?

Because I think.

Let's just pause this episode 80 times to listen.

People are nostalgic for times that they never lived in.

Like,

like...

Like, I feel like I'm nostalgic for certain times that periods that I never existed in.

Like the Jack the Ripper time period.

Yeah.

Or like

the Roaring 20s.

Oh, yeah.

Wouldn't have been great for us either of those times.

I'm just nostalgia.

But I get to like the aesthetic and the vibe of it.

What is it called when you're nostalgic for a time you experience experience?

Everyone's like, can you just get to the fucking case?

This is interesting.

Animoia.

Animoia.

I like it.

Animoia.

It's pretty.

So you experience Animoia.

I do.

90s.

Yeah.

For like the, I mean, I was, I like experienced some of them, but I mean, I wasn't cognizant.

I was going to say it's because it's like me with the 80s.

Yeah, nine, even like 99.

I don't know.

I can't.

I can remember like

flashes.

I guess I can remember flashes of 80s things when I was like five, you know, like, like four or five.

I can remember like certain music videos.

Yeah.

Which, like, I feel like I can, like, remember like little blips from like mom and papa's house.

I also have a very distinct memory.

I can literally see it in my head.

And I like remember the moment we were shopping with you and I don't know who else, but I fell out of my stroller, like face first.

Whoa, yeah, do you remember that?

Why don't I remember that?

I don't know.

You were there, though.

Damn.

You were there.

You were there.

And I fell out of my stroller.

I fell out of my stroller.

Explains a lot.

I don't remember.

Face first.

Damn.

Yeah, I think it's, I think you can remember births because I'm like, I can remember little people.

You're the oldest remembers so much of her early childhood.

And obviously she's still little, so it's not as far away, but it's interesting.

Yeah.

remember, I think it's also significant events.

Yeah.

Because when she was four, she was in the hospital.

But she even remembers things before that.

Yeah.

But she really remembers that time.

I mean, that makes like that.

She remembers every bit of that.

I mean, that's traumatic.

That's why we love Boston Children's Hospital because they were amazing.

Her memories are pretty good for that.

Yeah.

But yeah.

All right.

I don't know how to transition back to scary monsters, but spooky scary skills.

Look at the monsters from the Midwest.

So one afternoon in early 1992, a time where we feel an amoya.

Animoia.

I think just maybe though.

It was in Elkhorn, Wisconsin.

A bus driver named Pat Lester was just chatting with one of her passengers, Doris Gypson.

Doris.

Doris.

Remember when I used to call myself Auntie Doris?

Yeah.

I love that name.

You know, they were talking about strange things that she'd seen while she was out driving because she's a bus driver.

She's probably in Wisconsin.

She's probably seen it all shit.

Including an incident her daughter Lori had had a few years earlier on Bray Road.

According to Lester, her daughter had been out on the isolated road at night when she passed what looked like a large dog or a wolf that appeared to have, quote, human characteristics.

No, thank you.

Which sends me into orbit already.

Like, what do you mean a large dog or wolf?

Also, human characteristics.

What are the human characteristics?

Because I'm picturing a full human face on like a furry dog, and that's freaking me out and or like human hands.

No, I was just human feet.

I just pictured like a wolf with human arms doing my taxes because that's a very human characteristic.

I just pictured this galumping wolf with human feet.

Like big

oversized human feet.

Like giant feet.

Yeah.

Rural Wisconsin does have its share of wildlife.

They have wolves, they have coyotes.

So

Lori didn't think too much of it and kept driving.

She was like, Maybe I just like, it's dark.

You know, like, maybe I just saw something weird.

I just want to say it's bullshit that we don't have wolves around here.

I think wolves are so cool.

They are.

They're so majestic.

They are.

They're so fucking cool.

And they're so pretty.

And every once in a while, I'll tell them that our dogs are related to wolves.

And they're like, they are.

Like, they're like these.

They're a lot more domestic than

as Blanche runs up the stairs farting on every step.

I'm like, she descended from from wolves.

Dolores?

Dolores has started farting, and it is

ungodly.

It is.

She farts.

It makes crazy noises.

I'm like, bitch.

Yeah.

She just, Blanche, every time she runs up the stairs, she just farts her way all the way up.

How embarrassing.

She's not worth it.

She feels not a drop of shame.

Good for her.

But every time I'm like, she descended from wolves.

I want to come back as Blanche in my next life.

The dog.

And my kids are like, I don't think she did.

Somebody else did.

Doubt it.

So to Pat Lester, the story seemed like one of those, you know, local urban legends or maybe just a misidentification of a pretty normal animal.

She's like, I don't know, you retired.

Yeah.

So she was like, I don't know.

I shouldn't think anything shocking of it.

But when she caught a glimpse of Doris Gypson's face, she was suddenly like, you know what?

I think something happened here because Doris was genuinely terrified while she was talking about it.

Oh, no.

Now, according to Doris,

she had encountered a similarly strange animal to Laurie.

Yeah.

The dog.

So, yeah.

So she, and she encountered it on Bray Road, I think, the year before.

It was Halloween night.

Halloween night.

Halloween.

1991.

Oh, God.

The aesthetic must have been going crazy.

One thing I do remember very well in the 90s is 90s Halloween parties at school.

Remember that a lot.

I remember pictures of 90s Halloween parties.

Oh, so good.

So this was Halloween night, 1991.

And Doris, who was a senior in high school at the time, was driving home on Bray Road when she felt like she hit something on the street.

Oh, fuck.

She said, it was kind of smoggy out, and my front tire got lifted off the ground.

So she was afraid that she hit an animal.

She was like, fuck.

So she drove about 50 yards and then pulled over and she came to a spot that was kind of like out of the way.

So she checks the front of her car.

She sees if anything happened, you know, to be stuck under the car.

She didn't see anything, but she walked around to the back of the car, again, saw nothing.

And she was about to get back into the car because she didn't see anything around either.

But then she looks down the road a little ways and she saw the thing.

Later she talked about it and she said, here comes this thing.

Here comes this thing.

Uh-oh.

And it's just running up at me.

Oh, you get in your car and you drive out of there, girl.

So she couldn't, she was kind of a distance away, so she couldn't tell what kind of animal it was.

She said it was large and hairy, like a German shepherd,

but much larger, and it didn't move like a dog.

She said it moved more like a man crouched down on all fours.

Ew, not a man.

And that's why I can't stop picturing human feet glumping down the street.

Yeah.

But I also see him in a flannel.

Yeah, right.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

He's got a tattered flannel in my mind.

Oh, God.

So he's like the straight-up werewolf character.

Yeah, yeah.

But she said, I could hear its feet on the asphalt as it's running at her.

Now, she's terrified, obviously, and she turns and runs back to her car.

She gets inside, closes the door just as this thing reaches her and dragged what sounded like claws along the outside of her vehicle.

No!

Yeah.

She told local journalist Linda Godfrey, I just put my foot on the gas pedal and started going.

She said she didn't get a good look at the thing because she was so terrified and it was dark, but she believed it had been chasing after her on two legs.

No, no, no, because she said as she, like, when she looked back, she could see its huge chest heaving as it ran.

What the fuck?

Yeah,

I would.

It's like terrifying.

That is fucking so scary.

Yeah.

I would never recover from this.

No, I would be.

This would be the hot topic in therapy every time I went for the rest of my life.

I'd like to talk about the monster.

Yeah, again, I would love to talk about that humanoid monster that chased me down the street.

How do you ever go to sleep again?

That's the thing.

Knowing that that's like lurking in your whereabouts.

Because you know it's lurking around and you know it's seeing you.

I'd be like, I don't know how intelligent this thing is.

Maybe it knows where I live and it's going to break into my house and a real monster is going to fucking wake me up in the middle of the night.

And if there's never come, it perhaps has a family.

Yeah.

It has a whole crew.

Not a squad.

It has a whole, it has a crew like Jacob in Twilight.

And when they see you, they're going to say, where the hell you been, Loca?

Bella where the hell you been Loca I just watched that again

I'm gonna say for the record that he's really hot in that movie oh you all of a sudden you're team Jacob I was team Edward as a gal and now as a woman I am team Jacob as a woman.

Is that natural?

Is that natural?

Although, you know what?

I'm actually a team zoom.

None of them.

Because Jacob comes on way too strong and he kisses Bella with no

consent.

Yeah.

Not Team Jacob.

Not Team Edward.

But he is really hot.

I was Team Edward.

I'm always Team Edward.

You love a Pale Man.

I do.

I love a Pale Man.

I love a vampire.

But he just also like, we can't get into this.

Yeah.

Let's have a, can we do the bonus episode about Twilight in November?

Would you guys kill us?

Guys, would you let us do that?

Please let us do it.

I want so badly to unpack the movie Twilight from an adult perspective.

I would really love to unpack the movie Twilight from an adult perspective because I feel please so many feelings about

comment on this post and tell us if you are down for us to do that as the bonus episode for November, because that would be really fun.

And just again, the bonus episode.

The bonus episode.

Not a regular episode, a bonus episode.

And just know that if you say that you don't want that, you're breaking too hard.

You're breaking our hearts.

Okay.

All right.

So that's your task.

God, I so much.

Let us know.

You guys say yes.

All right.

So when Doris gets home a little bit later, she's been through it.

And like we were saying, now she's got to go home.

She looked at the side of the car and there were huge claw marks on the back side of the car near the trunk.

Oh, so not only did she have a fucking terrifying experience, now she has to go get work done on her car, which is also a terrifying experience.

I was just going to say, which sucks.

Now, according to Linda Godfrey, the journalist, she saw the marks firsthand.

And she said it appeared as though something with huge claws had dragged both sets along the rear of the car.

This motherfucker keyed her car.

Yeah, with its claws.

Linda Godfrey had been referred to Doris by a friend who occasionally did some freelance writing for the local Elkhorn newspaper.

Linda had been looking for an interesting local story to publish in the paper, and when she heard Doris' story about the encounter on Bray Road, she was like, whoa, this is exactly what I want.

And her instincts were right.

Doris was just one of several locals who'd seen something strange out on Bray Road, and their stories would eventually put the little town of Elkhorn on the map when it came to supernatural encounters.

Now, after interviewing Doris, Godfrey figured the young woman, you know, couldn't have been the only person in town who had seen this fucking crazy, strange, humanoid wolf thing so she went over to town hall and tracked down the animal welfare officer john fredrickson it turned out that fredrickson who had been working in the town since the mid-1980s so oh shit he's he's been around i picture this in my head when i was reading this story because i this like this like hard-hitting journalist, Linda Godfrey, of course, hears this crazy story from Daris and then is just like, I'm going to go down to the local animal rescue officer.

This is in the 90s.

So I'm just picturing it all 90s coated with like a 90s lens.

And then she finds John Fredrickson, who's like, well, I've been this town's animal rescue officer since the 1980s.

And you're just like, yeah, you have.

Yeah.

You have stories.

He has authority.

You have stories.

You have tales.

Tell me that.

What does he look like in your mind?

Oh, I see him.

He's older.

Yep.

Mustache.

Not young.

Yep.

He's got a mustache.

He's chewing on a, on a toothpick.

Okay.

He's just always chewing on a toothpick.

All right.

He's got a hat.

Yeah, definitely.

I'm trying to picture what kind of hat, though.

I feel like it could be similar to like a newsboy cap or like a scallop.

Oh.

All right.

Yep.

I love a scally cap.

Yeah.

I think he's he's one of those like he's got a vibe.

You kind of just described Dave, by the way.

I did.

You did.

So that's who I pictured.

Dave also has a scally cap and a toothpick at most times.

It's true.

I did just picture Dave.

Dave just doesn't have a mustache, right i picture yeah i just picture an older dave all right i mean i see it older dave is that grizzled animal rescue officer who's going to tell you his story let's go except dave would be like you're that's not real that's so dave would be like

that was a wolf leave me alone

we love you dave i love that i pictured dave

so

So the good thing is, and this would be a Dave thing to do, he had been keeping a file on what he informally referred to as the Elkhorn Werewolf.

Dave would keep the file and he would have all the receipts.

Among other things, the file contained copies of reports of a large unidentified animal that people were spotting in the area of Bray Road over the years.

Local paranormal investigator Jay Bakachin summarized all these reports basically as containing a description of a quote biped, a walking humanoid dog with the muzzle, the ears, about seven to eight feet tall hands hairy I don't want to say like a human but humanoid hands with claws deep set fangs enormous eyes just ferocious looking no thank you like what the fuck I don't like I don't like that it can walk onto humanoid hands with claws no so he does have like humany hands just with long nails ew which is so much worse

I don't like how his legs are so big either And he's got big eyes.

I don't like that at all.

I hate it all.

I don't like it.

And he walks, he's like biped, he's a biped.

That's fun to say.

Biped.

Bipedal, I think it is.

Yeah, I think you're right.

While the reports themselves were pretty fucking interesting, for Linda's purposes, more interesting were that some people had actually signed their names to the reports.

Oh, shit.

They weren't just anonymous.

That's kind of crazy.

Yeah, including a report from Laura Andrizzi, a local bar manager in Elkhorn.

According to Lori, she was driving home on Bray Road one night in December 1991 after closing the bar, and she spotted something strange in the ditch beside the road.

That's always when you see the craziest shit on your way home from a fucking restaurant or a bar that you work at.

When you see something strange in the ditch next to Bray Road.

Keep driving.

Keep driving.

It's not for you.

Now, Lori slowed down as she neared whatever it was by the side of the road.

Its back was to her, but she could tell that it was kneeling in the ditch, and she could see that it had pointy ears like a large dog.

So you keep driving in the ditch you get out of there this would not have been unusual in and of itself i guess like just seeing like a dog in a ditch you know like hanging out oh so you know i rode that i would stop for a dog in a ditch

but lori said she was immediately put off by the fact that it was literally kneeling like she was like immediately i'm like oh dog and then i saw it kneeling kneeling yeah like so godfrey later recalled she said it was kneeling in a way she didn't think a canine could kneel like a human.

Yeah.

So you see a dog in a ditch and your immediate thought is like, oh, a dog.

I should stop and make sure it's okay.

And then you look and it's kneeling like a human.

So you hit the gas.

Fuck that.

So when she pulled ahead of it, Lori looked into the rearview mirror and was stunned by what she saw.

The animal, she was...

at least sure that it was an animal at this point, was crouched down and appeared to be eating something.

No.

She said its elbows were up and its claws were facing out, so I knew it had claws.

I remember the long claws.

What?

From what she could see, it looked as though it was eating some sort of roadkill.

Ew.

And when it finally noticed the car slowly pulling up beside it, it turned its head towards Lori and the lights from the car reflected in its eyes, but it didn't run away like most animals would.

It just stared at her.

And she said, it struck her as very unusual that like an animal would run away.

Yeah, and be stunned.

And like, or be stunned.

It literally looked at her and then continued eating.

Dislike.

Later in her interview with Linda Godfrey, Lori described the beast as, quote, dark brownish-gray in color, somewhere around five feet seven inches in height and around 150 pounds.

What a menace.

And most unnerving at all, she said it looked almost human in shape, except for the head, which looked very much like that of a large dog or a wolf.

She said, to this day, I believe it was satanic.

It was just my feeling.

I don't really believe in werewolves per se, but I believe something could be, well, conjured up.

That was not of God.

My favorite thing about that

is I don't believe in werewolves, but I do believe that's satanic.

Like, it's just like, girl, if you believe that satanic.

You don't believe in werewolves, but you do believe in a demon in the ground.

Let's not write off men that can turn into wolves on a full moon.

And say that this is satanic.

That's the thing.

If you're believing this is satanic, we got to open up the door to werewolves.

There's a bunch of others.

Possibly being real.

Like, let's not write them off so fast, okay?

I was really rooting for you, girl.

I was too.

A few days later, Lori went to the library and started combing some books on Wisconsin wildlife because this was bothering her.

I mean, yeah.

It would bother me too.

She was hoping to find something that resembled what she'd seen on the side of the road so she could just like put it aside.

She came up empty.

And she, so she visited John Fredrickson's office and reported the sighting, hoping she'd be able to explain something that that he could just look at her and be like, oh, that's this.

Right.

And Fredrickson said later, not too long into the conversation, some books that were on the shelf just came flying down.

There wasn't really any cause for the books to go flying down.

So that was the end of that conversation.

What?

What?

I'm like, so is the essence of the werewolf in the room with us just fucking with you now?

Like

the essence of the werewolves.

Is he everywhere?

He's everywhere.

He's everything.

He's

everywhere to me.

He is.

He's everywhere to me.

So the deeper that Linda Godfrey dug into Fredrickson's werewolf file, she continued to discover reports of this unusual and really scary creature out on Bray Road, all giving more or less the same description.

Not long after she published her first article about it, Linda received a call from a woman in Palmyra, a tiny village of about 1,500 residents, 15, kind of 15 or so miles from Elkhorn.

The woman was calling to report something her son, 17-year-old Tom Brichta, had experienced in the summer of 1992, not long after Laurie's encounter on Bray Road.

I want to go to there.

According to Tom, he and a friend, Chris Maxwell, were on their way home from a wedding reception one night in August, and they passed through Elkhorn.

There was an incredibly like super dense layer of fog that night.

So Tom was driving slowly when they felt a thud, like they'd hit something that they didn't see in the road.

It's giving I know what you did last time.

It is.

So Brichta's mother said he thought he hit a mailbox, so he backed up.

That's when he realized it was no mailbox.

So Tom opened the driver's side window and immediately noticed, quote, a real skunky smelling odor.

So Tom stuck his head out the window, expecting to see a dead or injured skunk on the road.

But instead, he saw something he still can't really explain.

His mother told Linda Godfrey he described it to me as big and hairy, and that it was walking and quote, reaching out in his direction.

What?

Now I'm just picturing him like with arms outside.

That's what I picture now.

And now I'm like,

maybe he's not satanic, maybe he's Creed.

Spot the difference.

I mean, spot.

Maybe it's entirely impossible

that he's creed

the entire band

right here.

That's why he's so big.

That's why he's so big.

He's so many.

He's a whole band.

He has arms that open.

That's what he was doing.

I'm screaming.

So, according to Tom's mother,

I was creed, but he's creed.

So, according to Tom's mother, the family had a cabin in the woods.

According to Tom's mother, he was not creed.

He was not creed.

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The family had a cabin in the woods and spent a lot of time hunting and camping, so Tom definitely would have recognized any of the usual wildlife like bears, wolves, coyotes, anything like that.

In his videotaped interview or Creed again,

he wouldn't recognize them.

So he'd never know.

In his videotaped interview with a reporter, Tom described it.

He said, I saw a faint shadow of actually how big it was.

It was large.

Its lower chest or belly was at the top of my car.

Oh, fuck.

It was whitish-gray with black streaks in it, and it was hairy.

I didn't get any facial details, but the lower part of the body I can describe to a T.

It had large legs.

The feet were a little fuzzy.

I can't describe them as well as I can the arm that was reaching for my car.

With arms wide open.

The fingers were either pointed or had quite the nails on them.

The arm was.

I love quite the nails.

Quite the nails on them.

I really need somebody to describe my nails as quite the nails.

Your fingers have quite the nails on them.

Helly, give me quite the nails.

I like that he wasn't like, that's a good way to describe it, that he's like, they weren't claws.

They just had quite the nails on them.

The arm was long and kind of odd-shaped.

Now,

the sight of this thing in the road obviously terrified Tom, and he stomped on the gas, trying to get as far away as possible.

A few miles down the road, near Highway 106, the boys spotted a state trooper and pulled over to report what they had just seen.

So they reported it right away.

When he got home that night, Tom got out and inspected his car, and he noticed that the animal had scratched a small piece of the pinstriping from the exterior.

Rude.

After going inside and telling his mom what happened, they called the sheriff's office to report the incident a second time.

Now, later, as she was working on another article, Linda Godfrey confirmed the report with the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department, who verified that Tom did report that sighting that night.

She also found other reports of an unusual animal sighting that same night.

Oh, fuck.

Including one report that came in about a half hour after Tom's report.

Wow.

Yeah, which is strange.

This feels legit.

Yeah, like the sheriff's deputy told Linda Godfrey, someone called in and said they saw a large object in the ditch at 106 and north and thought it looked like a bear.

Oh.

A squad was dispatched and saw nothing.

The two incidents were seven miles apart.

Wow.

Now, like Doris Gypson and Lori Andrizzi, Tom couldn't help but notice how human-like this thing looked.

That's what really stood out to him.

It stood on two legs.

It walked towards him like a person.

Its head and upper shoulder shoulders were level with the corn stalks growing in the field beside the road.

That description is the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Do not ever be level with a corn stalk in my presence.

No, don't do it.

Keep that away from me.

Don't do that.

Also, just if you're next to a corn stalk, I assume that you're dangerous.

You're nefarious.

As soon as corn stalks come into play,

I'm terrified.

It's very he who walks with the he who walks behind the rose.

Yeah.

You know, like that's.

I don't need it.

Being level with a corn stalk is that satanic.

Being in the vicinity of a corn stalk

is pretty creed-like behavior.

Yeah, so

which is also synonymous with

so Tom said it hadn't noticed us.

Then it looked at the car and looked at me and gave

two thumbs up.

Are you ready?

Just kidding.

Honestly, not far off.

It gave this little snicker like it was challenging us.

Oh, so he's like a frat bro.

And it says, we were scared.

It was huge.

What?

So he literally was.

He snicker?

He was just standing next to the corn, level with the corn.

And then

like that?

He looked over and did the

little, the little like, I see.

I picture him as being a little more dingusy.

Like he's like, hee hee.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

I picture him more.

Oh, I don't like that one.

That's almost scarier.

It kind of is, because you don't want a dingus.

No.

chasing you, you know, a dingus monster.

Honey, I've had a dingus chasing me a couple of times.

A dingus monster, in fact.

Honey, I've had a dingus chasing.

monster.

Honey the lamb.

Honey the lamb.

Honey, the dinguses.

Honey, the lamb.

I brought a couple home.

You met them.

Oh, yeah, it's true.

Dinguses forever.

Not forever.

But yeah, he said,

he said, hey, and then he was like challenging them.

But he was scared.

He didn't like it.

To like a duel?

Maybe.

Maybe.

To a sing-off.

Oh.

He said, you guys know Creed?

Yeah.

You guys like that band?

Because I am that band.

I'll win this circle.

Now, after publishing the two-page spread about what she was by then calling the Beast of Bray Road, which is a great name.

It is.

In the fall of 1992, Linda Godfrey had become a kind of like, you know, representative of this creature at this point.

I mean, yeah, she's done the work.

She's doing a lot of PR for him.

She's his agent now.

She is.

Yeah, she's signed.

She says manager.

So, for a period of several weeks, she received countless new reports about the beast, some relatively recent from like, you know, the previous few years, while others were much older.

When she started out in her investigation, she assumed the beast sightings were a new phenomenon because a lot of times these things will come up and you're like, yeah, it's only been in the last few years.

People just made this up.

Right.

But as the stories poured in, she started to wonder whether Wisconsin had been home to some strange species that had somehow managed to avoid detection until now.

I mean, I could see why she's seeing too much of it.

The article brought more accounts, and countless sightseers encrypted hunters to the area in search of this beast of Bray Road.

Which, that's not great.

But by far, the most interesting among them was the editor of a paper from a nearby town who'd grown up in the area.

And after reading Linda's article, he remembered a story his father had told him when he was young.

According to Linda, the man's father had worked as a night watchman for St.

Coletta School for Exceptional Children.

Okay.

This was in nearby Jefferson.

On the school grounds, there were several, quote, ancient burial grounds.

What?

Yeah.

They were trying to preserve, and the watchmen had taken to include them in their rounds.

So they were trying to keep them, like at bay.

No one at bay.

They were trying to preserve them.

So they were trying to keep them from like vandals, anything happening to them.

Like anybody

at bay.

They were keeping the vandals at bay and keeping the ancient burial grounds safe.

And at bay.

Apparently.

And at bay, bay, apparently.

So the night watchmen are using their rounds to like go in there and make sure no one's fucking around.

Yeah.

One night in 1936, the editor's father, Mark Schackleman, was doing his rounds when he came to the burial grounds and saw a large animal frantically digging into the mound, like it was trying to unearth something.

No, thank you.

Unsure of what he was looking at and not wanting to endanger himself, he quickly and quietly backed away.

The next night, Mark was again on his rounds when he came upon the beast a second time at the same spot.

And this time though, he shined the beam of his flashlight at the animal.

And to his horror, instead of running away, the creature rose onto its hind legs and stood up tall.

And he estimated it to be more than six feet tall.

Level with the corn.

Level with the corn.

The corn with the corn.

Level with the corn.

Honey, the corn.

So years later.

How am I going to follow this?

Years later, when he recounted the story to his son, Mark Shackleman described the animal as being covered with dark or black hair and having a terrible odor like long dead meat.

A stank ass.

A stank ass.

And remember, Tom, when he hit something in the road, he smelled like a skunk-like odor.

Yeah.

So like a bad smell, like an odor, you know?

I like the smell of skunk.

That's so weird to me.

I won't even get into that because I don't understand it.

It's a thing.

No.

Other people like it.

I'm sure it is.

We're going to have a whole.

No, don't use the comments.

Wait a second.

No, comments.

The comments are for Twilight.

Don't tell us if we can do Twilight for November's bonus episode.

Do not support Ash's.

I know I'm going to hear a million people.

Don't support Ash.

Ash, I'm on your side.

I know everyone's on Ash's side here.

It's okay.

I don't like the smell of skunk.

You have to tell us in the comments section about the Twilight bonus episode.

Do not.

Guys, that was Elena saying it.

Here's me.

It's Ash.

Ash.

I'm not reading from.

I'm not reading from a script.

She didn't write this for me.

The comments are indeed for Twilight.

Yeah.

We need to.

I know that I have supporters out there who also like the smell of Skyno.

So don't even feel the need to reach.

Because I know you're out there.

You can PM me.

Yeah, there you go.

PM you?

Oh, private message.

I think I aged myself there.

Thank you for pointing it out.

I think that's like what old people on Facebook say.

You can evening you.

I don't understand.

I probably aged myself.

You cannot evening me.

I don't know what that means, but don't talk to me.

Yeah, don't evening me.

Anyway, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight.

Stinks.

So this thing stinks is what we know now.

More surprising than its side was side, nope, size.

More surprising than how big it was was that what the beast did next.

Standing before him, it looked him right in the eyes

and made a sound the watchman later described as, quote, sounding like a proto-human language.

What?

It was though the creature was speaking to him, but it wasn't speaking like English like we know it today.

What?

From where he stood, the only word Mark could make out was what sounded like Ghadara.

What does that mean?

That's not a word.

So we will, so there is something to that.

Gadara?

Yes.

Maybe he really wants some Godiva.

Godiva.

No, they think it's something else.

So as they stood facing each other, Mark began to pray, assuming that this thing was going to attack him.

Frankly, I might do the same.

Honestly, he was like, I think I'm going to die right now.

If there's ever a time to pray, it's when a werewolf yells Godiva.

Literally.

Now,

when Creed in the form of a beast in front of you yells Godiva

by the cornstalk.

By the cornstalk.

Or actually, he's on an ancient burial ground.

Oh, yeah, he's on an ancient even ground.

More fucked up.

So fortunately, after uttering those strange words at him, it just turned and walked off into the woods.

Oh, I would feel cursed in that moment.

But here's another thing.

So remember how Tom said this thing kind of snickered at him, like made, like made a fool of him?

Shackleman said, and this was way before this, that account, he said, it looked like it sneered at me.

I never saw that thing again or anything like it.

What's the difference between a sneer and a snicker?

Sneer is kind of like a.

And a sneer is kind of like a face.

Like a treat, like a stank-ass face.

Like just gives you like a, hmm, like, I'm going to mean mind

in you.

Like, yeah, like that little, like,

like, he does.

Oh, it's like an

to me, a sneer has that, like, uh, feel about it, but not necessarily the notion.

He doesn't do that, like, come at me, bro.

But it's like that feeling.

She's kind of like, if someone's sneering at me, I think they, they're like,

they want to find some.

Yeah.

They're like, come get some.

Yeah.

Don't start none, won't be none.

Exactly.

Wow.

Yeah.

What the fuck?

Or like if we're bringing it into today's world, bitches ain't shit.

And they ain't saying nothing.

That's what this guy was saying to him.

What if he was saying bitches ain't shit?

What if they just did that trip?

And then he just turned around and walked into the woods and never kept saying, oh, motherfucker

tell me nothing.

He does be, he does bees in the trap.

He does.

So whatever the beast had said, if it had said anything at all, it made no sense to Mark Shackleman, obviously.

He was like, I don't know what he was saying to me.

That would be the most horrifying part.

It was only years later, after he told the story to his son, that it was pointed out to him that the word that the beast spoke sounded very similar to Gadara, the town in the Bible, where Jesus casts out a legion of demons from a possessed man.

So I do think this is Creed.

I think it is.

I think it's Creed.

I mean, that's...

The only song I know of them is the Arms Wide Open song, but...

Yeah, I mean, Creed, let us know.

Creed.

If you're

you also

uh so the stories of the beast of bread road that linda had collected not only established a timeline dating back further than anyone had expected uh but it also created a pretty unique legendary cryptid that brought a lot of legend trippers and paranormal enthusiasts from all over the country to this area.

Much to the displeasure of some local residents.

Yeah.

But one thing Linda's collection of stories couldn't do was provide any indication as to where the animal had come from in the first place.

Maybe it's just of the land.

Honey the land.

Honey the land.

So to some, like Linda, it had probably always been there.

That's what I'm saying.

On the land.

Hiding among, you know, the Wisconsin forests are

dense.

But others predicted it was something evil in nature.

Throughout the 1980s, there were rumors of satanic cults active in the area.

And many, like Lori and Drizzy, who we talked about earlier, couldn't help but think one of those cults may have brought the beast of Bray Road into being like conjured it like conjured this demon if you have the ability to do that you need to you need to get to work on some other things as well and also I'm sorry if you believe that that can happen you cannot discount werewolves being a thing you just can't I will stand on business with that 10 toes down John Frederickson who you know was the town animal rescue officer for some time is willing to entertain such the such theories he'll entertain any theories really when it comes to this okay he said i I wouldn't discount some type of occult activity.

Yeah.

Which, I mean, he did, he was the one who said like the books came off the shelves when they were talking about it.

But he said, if by chance somebody evoked some kind of occult entities, like maybe that's a thing.

So he believes that like maybe the occult is involved here.

Maybe it was brought into being.

Or maybe there's just ancient shit in the world.

That's what I think.

I think there's just ancient shit that we, that have realized that we all kind of suck and that it should stay away from us, probably, and they do, yeah.

And then every once in a while they don't because they're like, because I think he truly has the mentality of bitches ain't shit and they ain't saying nothing.

Well, and he also, like, he's not really can't tell me nothing.

Like, that's why he's like, I'm not worried about you.

Well, he's not really seeking anybody out.

They're stumbling across him.

Exactly.

He's like, I'm just trying to eat roadkill.

He's just out late night, you know?

He is.

He's just out late night eating roadkill.

It's just like that sometimes.

You know, he's just having his version of a faux fauffau.

It's also nice that he's eating roadkill and he's not yeah he's not nobody saw him actively kill anything i i have this one story thing about him like this this one set of research about him and nowhere in it do i see him tearing apart animals that are alive so

he's a pacifist is he trying to

baby kill humans i yeah i think he's just trying to fuck with them or he's trying to be like get the fuck back in your car maybe he's trying to teach us all some survival skills and he's like listen none of you have a survival instinct yeah you're all getting out of your car looking at me a strange ass motherfucker who's who's on par with the corn who's bamping through the night

and it's like you're all getting out of here bamping through the night and it's like i'm trying to chase your ass back into your car so you know never to get out of your car again what's up that if you are driving late night do not get out of your car and maybe that's why he actually talked to the one guy who was the night watchman yeah because he was like i know you don't have a car so godiva okay and i think he also was like, last night you did the right thing, and you just ignored me while I was

on the mound.

Now you're shining a light upon me.

Now you're shining a light on me that doesn't feel very survival instinct-ish.

So I'm going to teach you.

Go on.

Get.

I'm going to teach you Godiva.

And then he just

and then he walked back into the woods saying, bitches ain't shit.

And he ain't saying nothing.

So that, I think that is the beast of Ray Road is just out here trying to teach us all some survival instincts.

I'm kind of obsessed with him.

Yeah, I think he's pretty great.

I think he's real.

I think there's...

I kind of love his attitude.

I do too.

I think there's near the snicker.

I also feel like there's not just one of him.

I feel like he's got a squad.

Oh, yeah.

I think there's all...

There was a couple different color descriptions.

Yeah, there was some darker ones, some lighter ones.

So I think, yeah.

I think we have a whole crew here, and I think they all have fucking attitudes.

Also, maybe it is a Twilight thing, and they're just like people in the day, and then they shapeshift.

Like Oz even from oh, yeah, from maybe

you know, and then they have sick-ass tattoos like Jacob and his squad.

Hell yeah, so that they don't imprint on children.

Don't do that, that's why we need to talk about Twilight, okay?

Because we will talk about the future ones if you let us.

If you let us, if you let us, this could be a beautiful gift, it could be a beautiful thing, but we we want to make you guys happy with these bonus episodes.

So, I really it's in your hands.

Give us the opportunity to provide you Twilight happiness because I can provide, we can provide,

we can provide.

No, honestly, if you guys don't let us do Twilight, I might cry.

So

sorry, I took a bite of a donut.

This bitch just has a chipmunk cheek full of a Boston cream.

I really do.

That's so Boston of you.

All right, I'm back.

Sorry.

I took a bite right as we hit record and I was like, whoop!

Donut break.

Donut break.

Yeah, we got to do Twilight.

Please.

Please.

It's going to be great.

Please.

You want more of this?

More of this commentary?

Let's go.

Let's go.

Open it up.

All right, honey.

Well, it's my turn and we're still in the Midwest.

Have no fear.

We haven't traveled out of there.

Good.

We're going to be talking about the Enfield monster.

Not to be confused with the Enfield poltergeist.

I was confusing them, so thank you for telling me.

I'm glad that I could be of assistance.

Thank you.

The Enfield

place.

So on the evening of April 25th, 1973, 50-year-old Henry McDaniel and his wife Lil, they were just coming home from like a school function, something for the kids.

Henry and Lil.

They got home a little past nine and they found their two kids in a state of absolute panic.

That's not where you want to find your kids.

No, they were freaking out.

No.

And according to them, they obviously stayed home alone after their parents went out.

Not long before their parents got back, they started hearing loud scratching noises at the door.

Yeah, I don't want any of this when I come home.

And when whatever was at the door wasn't able to get through, they said it moved onto the windows and that they also heard claws scraping across the metal of the air conditioner outside or like the condenser.

It's time to burn the house down.

Get rid of the entire well, no.

Where else are you going to seek refuge?

I mean, I don't know.

This doesn't feel like a refuge, though.

I know, but don't be, don't be burning down your house when the cryptids are outside.

I mean, that's never really a good solution to anything burning down your house, but here we are.

You heard it here first.

Don't burn down your house.

So neither of the kids managed to really get a good look at the animal.

The best they could say was that it was just like a weird creature.

So obviously the parents were like, okay, I won't leave you home again.

The amount of times my kids have been like, Did you see that weird creature in the woods?

And I'm just like, It's probably a deer.

You know, it's actually wild.

That literally happened this morning.

I believe it.

One of the kids, first of all, saw like something crazy in the forest and then told me that there was a pelican on my head this morning.

Yeah, sure did.

Fun fact, no, no, there was my head.

Yeah, can confirm there was not a pelican on her head.

Uh, she looked in the tree, though, and she was like, I saw something big and brown and furry in the tree.

That's why it's moving so much.

And I was like, That's a squirrel.

That's just a squirrel babe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a brown squirrel.

So I'm sure these parents were like, that's just a squirrel babe.

And that's the thing.

And Enfield is like, it's a rural place, but it's not so remote that they would have to contend with aggressive or confrontational wildlife.

So they were like, okay, I don't know about that.

Yeah, they're like, it's probably done.

But then not long after the kids like went through the whole story, the entire family started to hear the sounds again.

So the parents were like, fuck, should have believed you.

Damn.

Henry later told a reporter, this thing was trying to get into the house.

Oh, I hate that.

so now concerned that whatever it was you know might succeed this time because obviously it's it's trying to try it again henry ran to his bedroom and he grabbed a flashlight and a 22 caliber pistol that he kept on his bedside table by the time he came back the beast moved from the front of the house moved on so he slowly opened the door aimed the flashlight out there And after a quick sweep of the yard, the flashlight's beam landed on the thing that had been clawing at the door.

And now it was standing between two flower bushes at the edge of the yard.

Later, Henry said it had three legs on it, a short body, two little short arms, and two pink eyes as big as flashlights.

That sounds horrifying and hilarious all at the same time.

Kind of adorable.

It has three legs and two little stubby arms.

Two little stubby arms, literally T-Rex arms.

And it's just standing between two flowers.

You know what it sounds like?

It sounds like a child's drawing.

It turns out to life.

Because it also has pink eyes.

Yeah.

It sounds like a kid's drawing

mikey just asked me if i farted in its eye and the answer is no because this was 50 years ago mikey did you fart in its eye

fired

boom rest boom fired i'm just kidding don't kill me you guys all love mikey i get it elena

So from where Henry was standing, the shape of the body, he said, like similar to yours, almost looked human.

He said it was around, I thought you were saying similar to mine, similar to your body audio.

Almost looked human.

I was like,

wow, your shots are just ringing out in this podcast studio.

I thought you were like, similar to yours, it looks almost human.

I was like, whoa,

wow.

I realized I had some kids, but

I realize, but damn, I realized I was a podcast.

I would never say that to you.

What if I ever said something that diabolical to you?

So I was like, oh,

similar to your cryptid

idea.

Look at the beast of Bray Road.

Yeah, similar to this.

Not to the beast of this podcast.

Arguably, I'm the beast of the podcast.

Actually, arguably you are.

I'll take it.

I can't breathe.

I'll own it.

No.

Similar to your cryptid.

It looked human.

It was a little shorter than yours.

Your cryptid, are you?

Actually, it was around your height.

It was about five and a half feet.

Maybe I am this cryptid.

Well, it was a grayish color.

I mean, I've been there.

Well, after you give birth, actually.

I'm checking off all the pops.

I don't think I'll ever recover from you thinking that I said you were almost human.

I think we just might need to pause so I can breathe.

Hold on.

Just the way it was.

It was after you were like, Mikey, you're 100.

Then you were like, similar to you.

It looks almost human.

I was like, no,

no.

She's just like, pop, bop,

and you know what, Jeffy?

Hey, Deb.

Oh my god, no.

Take cover.

Crowd rod.

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, get it together.

Get it together.

So, from where Henry was standing, the shape of the body almost looked human, similar to your cryptid.

Thank you for that.

It was around five and a half feet tall, except it was a grayish color.

Okay.

From the doorway, he aimed the pistol and he fired in the direction of the beast at least four times.

He was not fucking around.

No, he was like, die.

He was like, die.

He said, when I fired that first shot, I know I hit it.

The creature gave out a hiss, much like a wildcat's.

Then after it cried out, it just turned around and got the fuck out of there.

And he said it covered 50 feet in just three or four bounds before disappearing into the woods completely.

Holy shit.

It's literally like...

Edward Cullen when he runs really fast.

Yeah, hold on tight, Spider Monkey.

Look at me pointing back to Twilight to get it on your mind again.

There's so many things I want to say, even about that, just that one.

And we will.

Seen alone and you better let us.

Yeah, you gotta.

Can a home security system really call itself security if it only responds when someone's already inside?

No.

And that's why Simply Safe is different.

It's designed to help stop crime before it even starts, before it's even happening.

How does it do that?

Well, AI-powered cameras detect threats while they're still outside your home.

And that is when they can alert real security agents.

This is the game changer.

Those agents take action while the intruder is still outside.

That's so important.

They are already acting before that person gets inside and does whatever it is they're trying to do.

They confront the intruder.

They let them know they're being watched on camera, that the police are on their way.

They can even sound a super loud siren or trigger a spotlight if they need to.

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So he was shocked by whatever the fuck he just saw in the backyard.

So he ran inside and he said, 911, I'd like to report a cryptid.

And two state troopers arrived a short time later because they didn't have a lot to do, I guess.

Yeah, they were were like, let's see what this is about.

So they arrived obviously way too late to see what this was.

But with Henry's help, they were able to find the tracks that the animal had left behind or the cryptid.

And they were nothing like anybody had really seen before.

The tracks of the dirt looked somewhat similar to what a dog might leave behind or an animal with like a similar foot pad, but it had six toe pads on each foot instead of five.

It's a six-toed, three-legged, stumpy-armed bitch.

Gray thing.

Yeah.

Or bitch.

Or bitch, if you're nasty.

So the three men searched the perimeter around the house and a short distance into the woods, too, but they didn't really find anything aside from the prince.

Back at the house, they listened as Henry described what this was.

And at first they were, I was like, what?

They said, maybe it's just a large dog that you never have seen before.

And a large six-toed dog.

Maybe it's a large six-toed dog with three legs.

That's five and a half feet tall.

And has tiny arms as well.

Makes sense.

They were like, I don't know.

Honestly, valid.

Why not?

Just throw that out there.

Yeah, just in case.

It might stick to the wall.

Yeah.

Henry was like, no, nope, not a dog.

Pretty sure it wasn't.

But after listening again to the description, trooper James Masser said that while it seemed highly unlikely one could be roaming the woods of western Illinois, he said, it kind of sounds like you're describing a kangaroo.

Has he seen a kangaroo before?

Okay, so obviously.

Has this man seen one?

Here's the thing.

Kangaroos don't have three legs.

I was gonna like, as we know, but what does he think a kangaroo is?

Well, I kind of, I sort of see what he's getting at.

So they don't have three legs, but in the dark, a tail could have given the appearance of, you know, an animal standing on three legs, especially because they also use their tails for balance.

So it might have looked like he was standing like that.

But it could have accounted for some of the other features too, especially because he was like in the dark.

Yeah.

Because they have those little arms.

Yeah.

They're grayish.

We're in the middle of the

day.

That's the thing.

He was like, it sounds crazy because I don't think there would be a kangaroo in Illinois.

It's a Roman.

Like, I've never seen a rogue kangaroo.

I haven't either, much

to my chagrin.

Yeah, I mean, I would love to.

I would really love to see a random kangaroo.

Do kangaroos have six toes?

That I don't know.

Let's find out.

Do they have toes?

At first, it said 18, and I said, what?

Five toes on each front paw and four toes on each hind foot.

So nay.

So no.

Unless.

Damn.

All right.

Well, there goes that.

So, there's that.

Well, he said in the dark, it could appear to have a human shape.

Gray is the color for kangaroos.

And he said it could have easily explained the growling hiss that it let out after it had been shot and how the animal managed to cover so much distance in a short time.

But, like you just said, they don't have six toes on each hind foot.

Yeah, that's your, that would have been my first question.

Yeah.

Well, Master suggested it could have been a kangaroo, but Henry flatly rejected that explanation.

He said he once had a pet kangaroo while serving in the army in Australia, so he would recognize one if he saw it.

I'm literally obsessed with the fact that he was able to shut that down with that.

He said, bitch, I had a kangaroo once.

He's not a kangaroo.

Oh, you think you know about kangaroos?

He said, I'm going to one-up you here.

I haven't.

This is my kangaroo.

This is not.

And honestly, that would make me be like, Did you release your kangaroo?

Like, wait a second.

I don't really know what happened.

Do you have a connection to a kangaroo?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, aside from taking down the information, there really wasn't a lot that they could do, the troopers at that point.

So they conducted their brief search and then they left the house, assuming that that was probably the last they'd hear about it.

They were like, this guy's kind of crazy.

He's kind of crazy.

In a town like Enfield, the population is less than a thousand residents.

So there's not a lot that goes on there, especially back then, without somebody else in town knowing about it and then everybody else in town knowing about it.

So not long after the state troopers had shown up at the McDaniels house, almost 50 to 75 onlookers had lingered in and around around the family's yard while they conducted this search, just trying to figure out what was going on.

Yeah.

And as a result, of course, over the next few days, everybody in town, including a lot of reporters, had heard about the unusual encounter and they just wanted to hear directly from Henry himself.

I would want to hear.

Now, Henry was like, hell yeah, I'll tell you everything.

And over the few days after the encounter, he gave a ton of interviews where he described the animal and he just, you know, kept giving increasingly dramatic retellings of the story, which honestly, if I saw what he saw in his backyard, I'd do the same thing.

And when asked how he was able to recall the event so clearly and describe the beats, like all the details, he said, I have a photostatic memory.

Obviously.

Yeah.

He also told reporters that he was sure he wasn't mistaken in what he saw because the next day, some school children told him that they had seen a similar looking animal while they were playing on the school's baseball field.

Oh, so now we got more, I would confess.

He said he was sure it wasn't, quote, a prankster.

And he said, because no man can run that fast and leap such distances.

I don't know.

Ask Edward Cullen.

I don't know.

Just saying.

Hold on tight, Spider Monkey.

Now, when it came to exactly what the thing was, he didn't really know exactly, but he said he did have a theory.

He said, if they do find it, they will find more than one, and they won't be from this planet.

I can tell you that.

I like where he went there.

He said, I like that he went full stop.

He said, Martian.

He said, 10 toes down, this is an alien.

It's an alien.

They should study it.

Okay, I'm into it.

So when the articles were published in the papers about the sighting, Henry's phone started ringing off the hook.

He said he got around 250 phone calls, mostly from people telling him that they thought he was describing a kangaroo.

So everybody was really ten toes down on that.

Everyone's so willing to accept the fact that a kangaroo is just rogue in the Midwest right now.

They really are.

Like everyone was just like, yeah.

Because possibly a kangaroo.

Like if somebody was like, I saw something strange last night, like we're in Massachusetts.

I saw something strange last night in my backyard and it looked like this.

The furthest thing from my mind would be that's probably a kangaroo.

And if somebody was like, I think it was a kangaroo, I'd be like, I can tell you 100 reasons why it wasn't.

Yeah.

I can tell you 150 reasons why that's a cryptid and not a kangaroo.

I'm pretty sure our climate is not super similar to Australia.

No, definitely not.

I don't really think they're hanging out here.

That's the thing.

I don't even know if they really could.

I don't survive for a long time.

I don't see them roaming around.

I don't have either.

I've yet to see one.

Well, according to Henry, one call that he got was from a government representative who told him it was the fifth sighting of such a phenomenon.

And the first being was in 1967 near Denver when UFOs were reported seen in the West.

I like that a government representative was like, hello, Henry.

Hello, Henry.

I'd just like to call you and tell you that you are one of five people who have seen that.

Okay.

All right, honey.

He's like, here, you know what?

I'm going to validate you because everybody's calling you and saying this is not a kangaroo.

Do Do you know what they're doing?

Or this is a kangaroo?

That a government representative loves to do more than to validate civilians.

Yeah, it happens all the time.

Yeah.

It happens every single day.

I see it so much.

Me too.

In the streets.

They're always validation and getting on the horn and being like, I would love to validate you.

Getting on the horn.

I love it.

So Henry maintained.

He was like, yeah, that government official is right.

I didn't see a kangaroo.

And other people saw this shit too.

I mean, I trust Henry here.

So he maintained that what he saw wasn't a kangaroo.

And he cited plaster molds that had been sent to the lab for evaluation of the tracks that they got and they didn't look anything like a kangaroo print of course not it's not a kangaroo yeah i actually we talked about it like quickly earlier but they're unique and easily recognizable because of the shape of the foot and the fact that they have large claws yeah according to henry an anthropologist who had seen the prints casually identified them as resembling those of a bear So he's like, that's like the furthest thing from a kangaroo.

No, because you look at a kangaroo's claws, they're like, their claws are long.

And like, I think when they're running, they go up a little on them but still those are long ass claws and they're like very spindly yeah and remember they said it looked like a dog per with another an extra toe so it's like what

um

so who knows about the tracks but while the mystery of the species remained unsolved what was clear to most law enforcement and local fish and game agents was that henry wasn't making this entire thing up not only had the state troopers actually seen the tracks outside of the mcdaniel house but they also followed them down the railroad tracks and into a cornfield a few miles away.

Oh, they're always up in the corn.

Cryptids love corn.

Cryptids plus corn equals love.

Honey, it's the land.

Honey, it's the corn.

They're just always up in there.

They are.

This guy is not as tall as the corn, like I was.

I forgive him.

But he was, but honestly, that probably made it easier because he could traipse through the corn.

Yeah.

He was he who walks behind the rose.

Walks in the rose.

In them.

Also, I looked at a kangaroo track.

No.

Have you seen them?

I haven't even seen a kangaroo.

It's a kangaroo track.

Oh, it looks like...

There's only two toes in a kangaroo track.

Yeah, no, that doesn't look like a kangaroo track at all.

Not a kangaroo.

They need to look up their shit before they start citing that an Australian creature is in our midst.

Probably.

Yeah.

Probably.

But, you know, the government agreed that it's not.

The government.

Government.

So the mystery deepened a few days later when investigators pulled, quote, something resembling hair.

off of one of the tree limbs in that field

where they were looking around.

According to Henry McDaniel, they all agreed, quote, the material looked nothing like animal or human hair.

Ew.

Yeah.

I don't like it.

Now, when he was asked whether there was any blood or other evidence found that would indicate that Henry had hit the animal when he fired that night, he told reporters the anthropologist saw drippings of a clear substance that they collected for samples, but he wasn't sure what it was.

Damn.

So something came out of this

cryptid or animal, and it was a clear liquid.

Something.

Yeah.

He just went oozing away.

Yeah, but didn't they didn't know what it was like they got samples well and it's like that's the thing because it got shot yeah at least once

and it's like is that its blood maybe does it bleed clear liquid kind of like a buffy zombie or like a non-zombie like a demon yeah yeah or it's very alien-esque it is you know that's why henry thought that i'm on henry's side unfortunately by the end of april the story kind of petered out when most of the press and public moved on but it was revived in early may when henry called reporters to say he had seen the beast a second time on May 6th.

Henry's always seeing this beast.

He know it.

One time, two times, he's seen them.

He's seen them.

He said he got, he was awoken in the night by his dogs barking around 3 a.m., the witching hour.

And when he went outside to see what had gotten them so agitated, he saw the same three-legged monster standing on the railroad tracks about 75 feet away.

He said, I seen something moving down the railroad track and there it stood.

I didn't shoot at it or anything.

It wasn't in a hurry or nothing.

And when when asked whether he was unnerved by seeing something paranormal for a second time, he said, I wasn't scared.

I'd like to have it as a pet and charge admission.

It's something that's there, and we got to accept it.

I'm literally obsessed with Henry.

Henry's.

I like his vibe.

Yeah.

I like his whole...

thing here.

He's like, this thing is there.

Let's just accept it.

He's also saying, like, I think we have a connection because he keeps coming back to me.

Yeah, and I'm not scared about it.

I think maybe we're kindred spirits.

So, you know, I see him, he sees me, and I could have him he said with arms wide open i accept this creature whole fucking circle and he would have named him creed he would have so there you have it there we go well the second sighting obviously brought a new round of reporters to enfield including wwki reporter rick rainbow rick rainbow it's also it's always so fun to say like newspaper names like that or like radio names like wwki because you have to say it like that yeah uh so rick rainbow was accompanied by edward phillips a pet store owner and a big game hunter rainbow interviewed Henry, and Phillips went out to the area where the animal had last been seen, and he started making plaster casts out of the tracks in the dirt again.

Smack.

Later in his reporting, Rainbow described the tracks as about four inches in diameter and having five distinct toe pads, possibly a six.

Not a kangaroo.

No, definitely not.

According to Rainbow, there were at least three other people in the area who had, quote, seen something that, shall we say, is strange, including the McDaniels next-door neighbor, 10-year-old Greg Garrett, who said he saw the animal about half an hour before Henry had the first time.

He said he was in the backyard when the thing confronted him and quote, stepped on his feet and tore his tennis shoes to shreds.

That's the most 10-year-old thing to say in the world.

He said, that's what happened to my tennis shoes.

Stepped on my goddamn shoes, and that's the reason they're all fucked up, ma.

Yeah.

That's the reason.

It's the cryptid.

Do you feel stupid now, ma?

Ma, it was a cryptid, not kangaroo.

That's why I need new shoes, ma.

That was exactly what I thought when I read this, too.

Kangaroo Cryptid stepped on my gun.

It confronted me.

I need new shoes.

It stepped to me.

What was it?

It sneered at me.

It did.

It sneered at

me, bro.

It did all the thing.

And now I need new shoes, Ma.

I believe it.

So that's, I know, that's the thing.

It's like, I believe Henry saw this thing.

I really wish another adult had.

I also wish

not 10-year-old Greg.

But here's the thing.

The second sighting of the monster didn't just bring reporters.

It also brought a small group of hunters from as far away as Indiana, all looking to capture whatever this was and like capitalize it.

Oh, don't capture him.

I know.

Well, when in Rome, the police felt that way too.

On the afternoon of May 8th, local police arrested five teenagers from Elwood, Indiana, on charges of violating hunting regulations after they were discovered to be hunting without a license and had literally no proper safety precautions.

They were just like wily shooting off into the distance.

Literally.

Just before they got arrested, they said that they saw a quote gray hairy creature in some underbrush and that it ran faster than a man.

So let it be, man.

It's better than us.

Yeah, don't shoot it.

If it's better than us,

it deserves to be here.

That's what I think.

It ran faster than you.

That's it.

If it can outrun you.

Survival of the fittest, baby.

It fits.

Just the whole thing about there's another Twilight thing where it's like, outrun you.

What does he say?

As if you could outrun me.

I love it.

Oh, man.

Please, please, you guys.

I beg of you.

You've got to let us.

Back to this.

So they all took aim at the beast, they called it, and they fired with rifles and shotguns.

And two thought they hit the animal, but it still managed to get away.

So this man is like out here, or this creature is out here, like Swiss cheese, still getting away.

He's just leaking fluid.

Everywhere.

Ew.

Ew.

Ew.

So the arrest prompted White County, which is a crazy name for a county,

Sheriff Jim Clark.

Like side note.

Like side note, maybe come up with a name for your county.

That's rude.

But White County Deputy Sheriff Jim Clark made a public statement warning everybody else that they were about to be arrested if they kept shooting this thing.

He said, nothing I know of is in season now, especially monsters.

Anybody we know of out hunting monsters, especially with guns, will be put in jail.

We are afraid they will kill somebody.

He said, y'all, monsters are not in season right now.

That's literally what he said.

He was like, I'll let you know.

We'll come up with a new law here in Watt County.

You think you got a monster hunting license?

I don't know why they're suddenly southern, but they are.

It's literally Illinois.

If you're talking about monster season.

There's like a Chicago accent, but it's really hard to do.

It is.

It's hard.

I don't even try to piss you all off.

I don't know why you do that.

I have family from Chicago, okay?

Yeah, we're not out here trying to piss off Chicago.

We love Chicago.

Sometimes Drew has a weird Chicago accent.

I love that for him.

Yeah.

But anyway, by mid-May, most people people in and around Enfield were pretty tired of the Enfield monster.

How could you be?

It's ridiculous, in my opinion.

It's ridiculous.

They just wanted things to return to normal, which I've never wanted.

I can't relate.

I can't relate.

The editor of the Carmy Times wrote, the case of Enfield's alleged monster has, for all intents and purposes, reached a climax and apparently is going downhill.

I mean, let's take alleged out of there.

It's a crooked monster.

Even the sheriff thinks so.

Yeah.

At the sheriff's office, deputies were writing out citations left and right to would-be monster hunters for trespassing, violating local hunting laws, and other city officials were frantically trying to answer questions from reporters who were like, hey, what's up here in White County?

What's up with this monster?

Sheriff Roy Poshard told reporters he had already, quote, declared an end is going to be put to the monster kick before somebody gets hurt, and he loses his mind answering queries from news media.

He was like, I'm going to go crazy on your buddy.

I don't want to talk to y'all anymore.

He's like, go on, get.

Go on get.

So whether local law enforcement and residents wanted to be done with the monster was kind of irrelevant.

As long as there was still some interest in the beast, and it turned out there was.

Of course.

So, after speaking with Rick Rainbow about his reporting, I think it's Lauren Coleman, a graduate student at the University of Illinois, he decided to come to Enfield and study the animal himself if he could.

He had spent years collecting data on similar sightings of unidentified animals all around, and he thought that the Enfield monster could actually be a legitimate case of a previously unseen species.

Yeah, because that's the other thing.

It's like

it doesn't have to be a monster, everybody.

We don't know everything that's on this planet.

That's that we discover new shit all the time.

So like called science.

Look it up.

Strange looking animal.

That's what Lauren said.

He had a degree in shit.

Yeah.

So unfortunately, though, after just a few days of, you know, looking out for the beast, he gave up on his search when he came away, or when all he came away with was just a few nice pictures of the white county countryside.

Pretty.

Yeah.

Name it something else.

He insisted he wasn't giving up, but he told a reporter he wouldn't resume his search until there was more definite information.

Which is like kind of a bummer.

Lame.

So the final word on the monster came in mid-May when a letter from a man in Ohio arrived at the office of the Carmy Times addressed to the publisher.

The letter writer, Alan Yorkshire, had read all the stories about the Enfield monster, and like many, he believed the description matched that of a kangaroo, and he was wrong.

Guys, it's not a fucking kangaroo.

If this is a kangaroo, I'll eat my hat.

It's not.

But this is crazy.

The difference between his suggestion and like the suggestion of countless other people was that he actually owned a kangaroo.

Okay, maybe you're an expert, but I don't know.

It's not a kangaroo.

I'm going to eat my hat.

According to him, his pet kangaroo, Macy, had gone missing a year earlier, and he believed that she was stolen by somebody who was relatively local.

Macy did kind of fit the description of the monster and was described by her owner as

well-trained and gentle.

And in his letter, Alan indicated that he would be traveling to Enfield soon and would offer a reward to anybody who could lead him to Macy.

But as far as anybody knows, he just never showed up in town.

Are we sure he had a kangaroo named Macy?

I don't know.

This is very funny.

I mean, he wrote to the people.

Or did he just say, like, so I had this kangaroo named Macy?

I mean, I don't know.

She turned up missing.

I have no idea, but.

I think he had a kangaroo named Macy.

That's

so specific.

I know.

Almost too specific.

You never know.

Unfortunately, he didn't come out.

Yeah.

Well, it turned out that the letter from Ohio was the last piece of,

you know, significant information on the origins of the Enfield monster.

A year later, a reporter from DeKalb traveled down to the town to see if anything had come of the story, but most people were pretty eager to put it behind them.

A waitress at Echo Cafe said, I think it's about all over now.

I heard the sheriff told him he better not be seeing any more monsters or he'd be off to the funny farm.

She's talking about

Henry.

Damn.

Yeah.

Poor Henry.

So whether or not law enforcement actually told Henry to keep his mouth shut is unknown.

They might have.

But what is clear is that once they put the story behind them, the Sheriff's Department fully intended to keep it there.

In 1974, Sheriff Poshard said, no, there ain't no damn thing to it.

I let all that stuff go on until he got people with guns out there.

I mean, I can understand that he doesn't want people with guns trying to hunt this thing.

Yeah, that's kind of the sheriff's worst nightmare.

That I totally get.

That's very dangerous.

Yeah, that's the thing.

It could have all been fun.

None of you needed to shoot this thing.

You could have just been like, ooh, we have a fun local monster.

Like, just let it be.

Things just got too risky once everybody was shooting willy-nilly.

We have plenty of local monsters floating around the Bridgewater Triangle.

Yeah.

None of us are out here trying to kill them.

No.

Just let them be.

Let them live.

They were probably here before on any of us.

They definitely were.

So I don't give a shit.

Puckwudgies, all right.

You out there?

I think they're out there.

Thunderbirds.

Whenever I take Dolores out at night, I'm like, fuck, Puckwudgies.

I think about it frequently.

Thunderbirds.

Giants.

Thunderbirds.

It is what it is.

Puckwudgies are my biggest worry.

Yeah, Puckwudgies will fuck you up.

I don't want to fuck with them.

But that's the thing.

I don't want to fuck with them.

And

don't fuck with me.

I'm not trying to kill you.

Don't try to kill me.

It's what I always say.

Puckwudgies, live and let live.

Exactly, Puckwudgies.

I live, I let you live.

Yep.

Well, a few years later in 1978, a team of sociologists weighed in on the Enfield monster and they called the story, boo, a classic case of social contagion.

Whatever, man.

Based on their analysis, the number of actual sightings were a lot smaller than most most people thought they were.

And one of the supposed sightings, you know, the one that Greg Garrett had seen, was a practical joke, unfortunately.

I mean, I'm not shocked.

I think he just fucked up his tennis shoes.

Yeah, he did.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

In their final report, the team concluded: of the several monster reports discussed in Enfield on the McDaniels first-hand reports and the May 6th report of the WWKI party were made by people who, or were made by people who, in all likelihood, thought they saw something.

But Henry McDaniel maintained that he did indeed see an unidentifiable creature in his yard that night.

And the state troopers did find evidence of a strange fucking animal having been there.

He saw something.

So something happened in Enfield that night, even if we don't know for sure what it is.

And that is why the Enfield monster has remained a local Illinois legend ever since.

Illinois, you have a monster.

You do.

It's okay.

And it's not a kangaroo.

No, it's not a kangaroo, and it's okay.

It's fine.

It's all right.

Also, if White County is still named that, you really have to change it.

It's crazy.

That goes crazy.

It goes really crazy.

I believe Henry.

I believe Henry.

And I'm prepared to defend him.

Yeah.

I think our cryptids should team up and just take over the Midwest.

I think so.

I think they have.

I think so.

You know?

Yeah.

The Beast of Bray Road, I think, could really do some damage.

I think he did.

It seems like the Enfield.

He was just hopping along.

He was just hanging out.

Yeah.

did he want to get in a house maybe but maybe he was cold exactly it's a midwest it's like are you free to the dark i'm cold maybe that's what it is yeah and maybe he was knocking but it just sounded like he was scratching because he's got acrylics he's got acrylics so it's like sheena shea she can't make a fist she can't how are you gonna knock if you can't make a fist you just gotta tap with your nails she taps on that phone

there you go sheena shea I am watching old Vanderpump Rule's episodes as usual.

That's very relevant.

All right, well.

I love these cryptids.

That was cryptids.

Let us know if we can cover Twilight because we're gonna

on the bonus episode.

Please, on the bonus episode, the bonus episode.

Not the actual episodes.

Bonus.

Bonus.

We hope you keep listening.

And we hope you keep it weird, but not so weird that you no, actually, do keep it so weird that you spot a cryptid in the wild and then please tell us all about it.

Yeah, and let us do Twilight.

I mean, we're doing it.

I've decided.

Executive decision.

Executive decision stamped.

Hey everybody, it's Babs.

You know, one thing that makes the holiday season so magical is the traditions we share year after year.

And that's why I'm so excited to tell you about Birch Lane.

Their classic furniture and festive decor is carefully crafted to bring joy to every seasonal celebration.

Plus, it's delivered fast and free so you can start spreading the holiday cheer.

Shop my hand-picked Birch Lane collection and more classic styles at birchlane.com.

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Or maybe not.

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Visit LegalZoom.com.

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LegalZoom is not a law firm and does not provide legal advice.

Visit legalzoom.com.