375: Monkey King: The Eyes Have It

This week on Myths and Legends, we're back in the journey to the West with the story of the Monkey King, and we'll see why you shouldn't bathe with monsters and how many eyes is too many eyes when it comes to dinner guests.

The creature this week is a lake monster with the body of a snake and the head of a cat, who was officially an endangered species for 20 years.

This is Myths and Legends, episode 375.

The eyes Have It.

This is a podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore.

Some are incredibly popular stories you might think you know, but with surprising origins.

Others are tales that might be new to you, but are definitely worth a listen.

We're back in the story of the Monkey King.

As a brief background, in the story of the journey to the West, we follow Xuanzong, the human monk who is tasked with retrieving the holy scriptures from the Thunderclap Temple in the West.

Since the road is impossibly long and dangerous, he was granted four guards, essentially monsters on a redemption arc, for his trip.

There was Sun Wu Kong, the Monkey King, a super-powered monkey who turned against heaven about 800 years ago and nearly won.

There's also Pigsy, a stinky appetite-driven pigman who fights with a rake, and Sandy, a dour indigo sand monster man.

There's also their horse, which is actually a dragon but who almost never leaves the form of a horse.

Today, well, today is a relaxing relaxing day as they walk up to a monastery that perhaps, maybe, possibly just this one time is not haunted or full of demons or secretly a monster lair.

A lot of bowing was going on.

Monkey was wary but optimistic.

A Taoist monastery had sat like an emperor atop a hill and well, some of them had to be good monasteries, right?

Like they couldn't all be secret evil places.

Please, could they just give this one a look?

It had been months of sleeping on a bedroll and while yes they were austere and renouncing the world and all that, an actual meal would be really nice.

And so Monkey had agreed on that very low bar and said yes, he would check it out.

They passed a place for a horse to graze.

They passed beautiful ornate walls that didn't carry evil portents or weren't made out of skulls or something, and when they approached the monastery, they saw that it wasn't full of corpses, which was a plus.

Alright, it checks out, Monkey said, as the master of the monastery opened the door, the Taoist monk.

This was what led to all the bowing and the competition to see who could be more reverential.

The monk, the one who ran the monastery, took everything in stride.

You know, the monkey, sand monster, and pig monster that accompanied his esteemed guest, who bowed at the images of the three pure ones before taking a seat.

The monk, the leader of the monastery, called for tea, and his acolytes got to work scrubbing and making preparations.

The tea was set and someone whispered in the host monk's ear.

He nodded and rose.

apologizing to his guests that his acolytes had very rudely brought something to his attention that needed to be remedied at this very moment.

He was so sorry.

It was very impolite for someone to see to their own business while they had guests, but it couldn't be helped.

Xuanzang held up a steaming teacup and the rice balls.

He could not complain.

This was fantastic.

It wasn't human brains.

Loved it.

He told the monk to please see to whatever he needed.

Xuanzang would be here with his disciples enjoying this wonderful temple and this breathtaking view.

See, not everyone is evil, Xuanzang clapped.

And Monkey had to agree.

None of his warning bells were going off, and this tea was amazing.

This was a good stop.

He was glad he could finally let his guard down and learn to trust people again.

Just then, at the back door to the monastery, the monk looked out to see the seven ominous visitors.

Was he here?

The Tang monk?

The monk looked to the ground.

Yes,

yes, he was.

was.

Title One Day Earlier.

Monkey, please.

I've been sitting on this horse for months.

Let me do something, Xuanzong asked.

There had been a spirited discussion about whether or not Master could go beg for donations from a nearby house he spotted.

Monkey, obviously, said no.

Pigsy said master must be tired from sitting on the horse and monkey said, what, compared to walking, no, that wasn't a thing.

Then they started arguing because road trips are tough sometimes and siblings argue.

Xuanzong said that this was his quest, his journey to the west.

It wasn't so much that he was overshadowed in his own quest, but it was almost like it was becoming not his quest anymore.

He wasn't doing anything.

He was just getting kidnapped and almost eaten all the time while they were doing all the work.

And Monkey sighed, and going to this house, begging for supplies at a house you spotted that will help you feel like it's still your quest?

Xuanzong said it would help.

Yes, it would be doing something.

Monkey sighed.

Well,

Xuanzong was the master.

If he wanted to go it alone, it was his call.

Xuanzong lit up.

Really?

Really?

You go on your own, completely unsupervised and unguarded, and we'll just hang out here, Monkey said, starting to unpack Yulong the Dragon Horse.

Xuanzong was so excited.

Thank you, thank you.

This was gonna be so much fun.

It brought him back to his old monastery days.

He was really good at this, they'd see.

It had been like hard mode begging for the last few years, since all he had, but

Xuanzong looked at the group.

What he meant was, uh,

you had literal monsters with you when seeking aid.

Yeah, no, we we got it.

Not offended.

We know what we are, and this is coming from the only only one who didn't try to eat you on our first meeting.

Pigsy shrugged.

Guilty.

Yeah, go ahead, boss.

We'll be here.

Oh, you won't be sorry.

Xuanzong leapt down from his horse and started off in a run toward the house he spotted.

So, uh,

we really doing this?

Sandy watched the boss go.

Of course we're not doing this.

Are you joking?

Monkey laughed.

He would wait 10 minutes and turn into a fly or something.

Following Master to make sure he was safe, Monkey jumped in and started lighting the fire.

Xuanzong was in his hat and cloak.

This was a good day.

The evening was cool and the sky was clear.

It had been a long time since he had been alone with his thoughts.

He could barely even meditate without them going going on about some pointless nonsense or bickering.

Always bickering.

He knew the road to self-cultivation was a long one with many detours, but he also wished they could move a little faster on it.

This evening though, it was all about Xuanzong, the big XZ,

monkeying it up in town, doing a little begging, doing a little blessing.

One mansion on one street could hardly be called a village, but it was enough for him and...

oh

oh no.

It was, well,

it was women.

Seven young women.

Xuanzong might have thought he was making a split-second decision regarding whether or not to solicit donations from the household of seven young women, whether it was worth it to face undue temptation and basic interaction with them, or to turn back in shame, unable to get anything for their party after making such a big deal about it.

It was a lot to think about, which was why, according to the text, it took him over a half an hour.

In the end, well, he didn't want to be laughed at by the group.

So, begging it was.

He took a deep breath and made for the courtyard.

I'm not sure if they actually looked heavenly or if Xuanzong was just being nice when he called out to the quote, Lady Bodhisattvas.

This humble cleric has come to beg for whatever amount of food you can give me.

They didn't reply with um it's just bodhisattvas, not lady bodhisattvas, but they didn't.

They said they, well, they knew about him, they saw him down the road, but they didn't want to feed a priest on the side of the road, but instead invite him in and feed him in their mansion.

I'm going to go with this next part too, because well, you'll see.

Xuanzang marveled, what a world.

The West was truly the land of the Buddha if even the women were concerned to feed priests.

He bowed to the women and followed them into their home.

The pavilion was made out of sandalwood, and the whole whole space was just one big room.

It had a beautiful indoor-outdoor vibe with gardens inside and all that, vines and creepers going up the side, which destroys any paint and makes marks in wood and stone way faster than you think it would, but it was a nice touch here.

But that wasn't where they were eating.

I can't imagine how beautiful the main dining room is, Xuanzong remarked, as the women pushed open the stone doors at the far end of the pavilion.

He took a deep breath and, um

hmm.

It was definitely more of a minimalist vibe going on.

There was a single low table, made out of the same stone the room had been hewn from.

The air was dank, stale, and sour.

Not his choice in dining room, and he had been literally eating in the dirt for months, but

okay.

Please take a seat, master.

The woman gestured to the stone floor.

It would be rude to turn back now, so Xuanzong took a seat.

While one went to prepare dinner, the others asked about Xuanzang's role.

What did he need alms for?

Repairing a monastery, funding a festival, print scriptures?

Xuanzang laughed.

Oh,

he, well, he wasn't just some itinerant priest.

He was sent by the Great Tang in the land to the east to go to the thunderclap temple in the west to obtain the scriptures.

Sorry, he thought they would know all that.

It was covered in the intro.

The women clapped.

Well, what an honor, then.

As the saying goes, monks traveling from afar read the sutras best.

They will prepare a sumptuous vegetarian feast for their guest.

Three of the women stayed with them to talk about the sutras, while four went to go prepare the vegetarian feast.

When the time came, they set the plate down in front of Xuanzong and

okay, that's Xuanzong gagged as he smelled the what could only partially be called food.

Yeah, those

that's human flesh sauteed in human lard and ground up human brains, right?

Xuanzong had been held captive in enough well-stocked monster kitchens to know those two things on site now.

What?

You mean fried wheat gluten and bean curd, the women said.

Silly Billy.

Look, Xuanzong said, it's not that he wasn't grateful, really.

Even though he wasn't grateful at all, this was very gross.

But they had to understand, he was a monk.

On the whole trip he hadn't harmed a single creature, let alone eaten meat.

Once again, didn't want to hurt their feelings, but he couldn't eat that.

Because it was people.

You're not being ungrateful.

You're being rude, one of the hostesses said.

And picky.

That was wheat gluten and bean curd.

Just one little bite, one little taste.

Here comes the anachronistic airplane

Chuan Song stood.

stood, sorry.

Really?

Also, there's a finger in there.

That's...

that's obviously people.

He must be going.

The women, all seven of them, stood and barred the door.

Ladies, I must demand that you step aside, or else I will be forced to resort to, oh no, you know martial arts, he said, his narration only cut short by the kick to his stomach.

Xuanzong was not getting out of there.

They each took turns punching and kicking, which is generally a bad strategy if you're an orc attacking Aragorn or part of an action movie or something, but pretty good if the monk you're pummeling is an avowed pacifist.

Before Xuanzong knew it, because he was actually unconscious for a little bit, he was dangling from the rafters, tied up around his arms.

And then the disrobing.

For them, not him.

But for the monk, it might as well have been the same.

For the man who was constantly kidnapped by demons, anything relating to women women really messes with him.

So, seven women disrobing while he was dangling from the rafters,

yeah, he was mildly freaking out and trying to twist his body to turn in the other direction.

Luckily, for our monks' sense of modesty, they only took off their cloaks and unwrapped their abdomens, seeming to stop there.

Then, coils the diameter of duck eggs began pouring from their navels.

Xuanzong's eyes widened.

Uh

what?

From Xuanzong's disadvantage point, through the door, he could see them wrapping up the gateway on the far side of the estate, coiling them all with their belly button goo.

We'll check back in with the rest of Xuanzong's group just monkeying around, but that will be right right after this.

What happens when Delta Airlines sends four creators around the world to find out what is the true power of travel?

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Henry Ting, Delta's chief health and wellness officer, an instrumental voice behind this travel experiment.

I love that the dream trip versus, you know, the around the corner trip both had very similar mental and social perks and benefits.

Oh, yeah, very much so.

On both trips, their emotional well-being and social well-being went through the roof.

Find out more about how travel can support well-being on this special episode of the Psychology of Your 20s presented by Delta.

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Okay, okay.

Why did Master cross the road?

Sandy said, waiting.

To get captured by monsters and eaten.

The trio clapped.

Even Sandy getting in ragging on dad.

This was fun.

Why didn't they do this more often?

With as much as he gets captured, because we never get a night off, they heard from the edge edge of camp.

It was Yulong.

Hey, Yulong.

They sometimes forgot that he wasn't an actual horse because he hardly ever spoke, including in today's chapter.

That was my addition.

They laughed.

Monkey had gone fruit picking and they were sipping tea by the fire.

This was really nice.

Cool night, good friends, and...

Monkey looked up.

Cool.

Night.

Wait, it wasn't night when Master left, was it?

The others looked to him.

No.

Monkey somersaulted into a tree and peered off into the distance.

Um,

yeah, so

he's been captured.

Sandy slithered up and reported to the other two that the estate Xuanzong went to beg from was

encased in a white shell of some sort.

You were supposed to go spy on him!

Pigsy waved his hooves, pacing back and forth.

Monkey sighed, yes, it would be okay.

He would make this right.

He would put on his tiger skin skirt and make for the village.

And I'm- I'm sorry, are we...

Are we not going to address that?

Pigsy pointed at Monkey.

Address what?

Monkey shook his head.

Your tiger skin skirt.

How long have you had that?

Pigsy asked.

I mean,

always?

Monkey gestured down to what one version describes as his tiger skin skirt.

Really?

Really?

Monkey said, shaking his head.

He didn't think Pigsy of all people, well, monster pigs, would be so quick to judge him.

It's not a judgment, it's just I feel like we would have talked about this if you were wearing it before.

And yeah, I did a quick CtrlF and did not find Tiger Skin's skirt mentioned before.

Pigsy said, uh, whatever, it worked.

Monkey could pull it off.

I know, Monkey shook his head and made for the village with a leap.

Ew, sticky, monkey said to himself as he felt the, yes, sticky wall.

He tried slapping it with his rod, but since it was stringy and pliable, it only bounced back when he hit it.

The third time, his rod got stuck.

If he kept up, he would get stuck and no amount of transformation would get him out of it.

He needed some information.

He made a magic sign with his paws and, somewhere far but not too far away, the local god who was just sitting down to dinner with his wife felt a pull toward the door.

No, he cried, gripping the table leg.

The table started to scrape against the floor as it made its way toward the door.

What's going on?

his wife asked.

He pointed toward the door.

He had been summoned by Sun Wu Kong, Ban Horse Plague, the Monkey King.

So?

So, since all of our news is up to date as of 800 years ago he just fought a war with heaven he peed on the buddha's hand he quote loves to drink wine free and beat old folks specially and yeah that rhyme is in the text but why you his wife asked the local god said he didn't know but he couldn't go well it looks like it's getting stronger she gestured to the table and unless he wanted to be picking splinters from his dinner and picking his dinner from the hillside, he better just let go and see what the Monkey King wanted.

After some ineffective convincing and very effective finger prying, the local god shot off into the sky to make his summoning appointment.

Beats old folks specially?

Monkey grimaced.

That's bad.

That's bad poetry.

Technically true, given that the immortals are the oldest things possible, but being true doesn't make it good art.

Monkey strummed the white strands on the wall, which sounded out a low note.

Hey, he wanted to know, could the local god make sense of this?

Oh, wait, you aren't gonna beat me?

Then yeah, this is Cobweb Ridge.

Inside this weird cocoon of what must be webbing is Cobweb Cave, the local god explained.

Monkey nodded, yeah, that that tracked.

It turned out that seven monsters, all women, had chased out the seven immortal dames, who I guess went to be, I don't know, secondary characters in hard-boiled detective movies.

But before that, they bathed at the Purgation Spring, not far from here.

The spiders kept it going and they bathed three times a day.

Hmm.

All right, Monkey waved his rod.

The god could leave now.

The god, not needing any extra reason to leave without a beating, took off.

And Monkey, well, Monkey had to know more.

He transformed into a fly.

He made sure to back away from the wall of spider webs first in case you were wondering if they were going to be that obvious about things, and Monkey grew silent as

literal fly on the wall, he saw the spider webs drop and hmm, they were quite beautiful.

Seven women, sure they were secret monsters, but well, who wasn't these days?

You should really follow these women to the bath.

You

followed them to the bath, Sandy asked, ten minutes later.

Yes, Monkey said.

And you killed them there?

Pigsy and Sandy asked.

Monkey said, What?

No, he would appear cowardly and opportunistic if he killed beautiful naked women while they bathed.

Mm-hmm.

Sandy stood and began pacing.

So he watched these women bathe.

For intelligence, for no other reason, Monkey protested.

Anyway, Monkey said, seven pairs of hands holding up seven sets of clothes.

I got their clothes, and they are stuck in the pool, naked.

They could just go and get naster and continue on down the road.

Pigsy said yes.

But well, they sh shouldn't they take care of the seven naked women first?

You don't get rid of an infestation unless you take it up by the roots.

Monkey said that Pigsy was welcome to do whatever he wanted, but he, Monkey, was just going to get master and go, while the women were embarrassed and couldn't stop them.

Pigsy said he would take the dishonor of fighting these seven naked women in the bath.

Okay, you know how that sounds, Sandy said, as Pigsy parted from he and Monkey, the latter making their way to the village and the house that held Xuanzong.

I know how it sounds, but I'm not master and it's not my my problem, Monkey said.

Despite how it sounded, Pigsy was just gonna fight them, which for some reason involved him jumping in the bath too, but eventually he insisted on killing them, and, raising his rake, the survival instinct of the seven spider women outweighed their modesty, and they ran from the pool, shooting webs again from their belly buttons and catching Pigsy.

And that's how, just before Sandy and Monkey reached the house with Xuanzong, the seven women rushed in first, covering themselves with their hands, and made sure to silly string it up as best they could with their belly button webs.

But they needed more time, so they enlisted the help of their sons.

Their seven sons were seven things that had been caught in their webs over the past few months.

Bee, hornet, cockroach, grasshopper, maggot, and so on.

And whether by Stockholm syndrome or legitimate affection, they were going to defend their moms.

Monkey bracked a smile at the tiny bugs.

They were regular bugs, and they were regular bugs that were regular bug size.

While their, I guess, nude moms were covering up the entryway behind them with spider webs from their belly buttons, this was a weird stop, even by Monkey King standards.

Pigsy, putting his clothes back on with the spider webs trailing behind him, attached to his feet and elbows, said he was done with these women.

He pulled out the world's best fly swatter, a rake.

Seeing as he quickly missed the bugs, they took to the air and multiplied by a thousand each.

Pigsy screamed out a, who could have seen that coming?

when the talking bugs multiplied.

Luckily, Monkey was on it, when he transformed into a hawk that ate insects, and a few minutes and one full belly later, Monkey flapped to the ground next to the very red and bitten Pigsy.

Seeing as their insect distraction sons were dead, the spider mothers stopped covering the door and ran inside.

The trio followed but found only Xuanzong, still dangling from the rafters, groaning out a...

Hello.

Monkey sent Pigsy and Sandy to search the back rooms, but the spider women had broken and run.

We could root them out, or we can just burn their house down, Monkey shrugged.

The spider women were already in a compromised position, and if Monkey and Company got rid of their base, I mean, what threat could they possibly pose?

And so, they did just that.

They cut Master down, piled the house with wood, and lit it on fire.

And so, according to the story, they continued down the road in ease.

We'll jump back into the framing narrative with the monk and the visitors, but that will, once again, be right after this.

What happens when Delta Airlines sends four creators around the world to find out what is the true power of travel?

I think it helped me sort of like get grounded.

I think I unlocked some like childhood dream.

Turn my stress into excitement.

Take that gratitude from those experiences into your daily life.

That's why Jim Espeg, host of the Psychology of Your 20s, sat down with Dr.

Henry Ting, Delta's chief health and wellness officer, an instrumental voice behind this travel experiment.

I love that the dream trip versus, you know, the around the corner trip both have very similar mental and social perks and benefits.

Oh, yeah, very much so.

On both trips, their emotional well-being and social well-being went through the roof.

Find out more about how travel can support well-being on this special episode of the Psychology of Your 20s presented by Delta.

Fly and live better.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

So what what do this animal

and this animal

and this animal

have in common?

They all live on an organic valley farm.

Organic valley dairy comes from small organic family farms that protect the land and the plants and animals that live on it from toxic pesticides, which leads to a thriving ecosystem and delicious, nutritious milk and cheese.

Learn more at OV.coop and taste the difference.

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Back at the back door of the monastery, the monk squinted and saw his sisters emerge from the forest.

Oh my gosh, what happened to their clothes?

The seven women told their brother that they heard he had guests.

The monk replied, yes, that's why this was so rude.

But when his acolytes told him that his sisters were here in various stages of distress and undress, he couldn't very well not see them.

The sisters took this opportunity to fill him in on the story from the previous day.

That was quite the Tarantino-style flashback revelation, the monk paced.

That was why they must die.

The sisters all growled.

The monk brushed his face.

So you come into my temple on the day my guests are to be served tea, and you ask me to do murder.

We ask you for justice, the women stepped forward.

That is not justice.

You're still alive, the monk said.

Before cracking a smile.

Nah, he's just kidding.

He's totally cool with murder.

Come inside.

They followed him to his quarters, careful to stay out of view of the guests and acolytes, and he showed them a teaspoon's amount worth of paste.

He now paced this room.

This.

This came from the dung of all mountain birds.

Collected up to a thousand pounds.

It was cooked in a copper pot down to just one cup.

Three pinches were then pan fried, cooked, and further refined until the poison, with just a taste and a blink, would have the person looking on the face of King Yama of the underworld.

If a normal mortal ate this paste, only one thousandth of a towel, so one thousandth of fifty grams, so 0.05 grams, would kill them instantly.

It would, paradoxically, kill an immortal with three times that amount, so.15 grams.

For these, though, who were stronger and more accomplished in the way, they would do twelve times the lethal dose.

So, 0.6 grams.

He asked his sisters for a scale.

The monk returned, apologizing again.

He had to instruct his students on how to pick green vegetables and white turnips.

He looked down at their tea.

Of course it was cold.

He would get this afternoon back on track.

He called for a change of tea.

You know what?

He would go see to it himself.

He returned with tea and dates, and Monkey reached for a mug, but found himself blocked.

Oh, that's that's my mug, the monk said.

Monkey looked at him.

A mug's a mug.

What's

what's the deal?

This one's mine, though, the monk said.

He pointed to the four mugs grouped together.

Those four were theirs.

This one was his.

Well, I like this one.

How about you drink that one?

the monkey pointed.

The monk gasped.

Oh no, those are those are nicer.

They're better.

They're for his guests.

Well, if they're nicer, then I insist that you enjoy it.

You've earned it, taking such great care of us.

Sun Wu Kong smiled, showing all of his monkey teeth.

He could see that the monk was starting to sweat.

I must insist against your insistence.

It wouldn't be proper for me to give a guest less than myself.

The monk forced a laugh.

Monkey, Xuanzong barked, drink the tea he gave you.

This is a nice place.

Why are you doing this?

Monkey glowered at the monk and picked up his mug as Xuanzong, Sandy, and Pigsy all took a drink.

So, when you're poisoning a super-powered monkey, you kind of want to make sure you actually poison the super-powered monkey.

When Xuanzong, Pigsy, and Sandy all collapsed, foaming at the mouth, before Sun Wu Kong took that drink, well, that told him his intuition might be correct.

Lucky for the poisoner host monk, he was quick with that hand when Monkey threw the poisoned drink in his face.

Unlucky for him, he was soon up against the wall, with Monkey's supernatural staff slowly pressing into his forehead.

Sun Wukong ordering it to expand and demanding the monk tell what type of poison he used before Monkey's staff met the wall behind him and the monk was unable to say anything ever again.

He did say something, An excited, Sisters!

Unfamiliar with the sisters poison, Monkey almost demanded an explanation, but he was hit from behind by the webs, too many webs from too many sisters with belly buttons that were too weird.

The monk laughed as Monkey dodged more of the sisters' webs.

He was slowed already, and he knew that if he stayed even for a moment longer, he would be stuck forever.

As he plowed through the roof of the monastery, he looked back and saw, like the village from earlier, the webs wrap and encased the entire structure.

Another meeting with a local god, to learn that these women were in fact spider spirits who shot cobwebs from their belly buttons, something that I thought was pretty well covered earlier, but whatever, Monkey came up with a plan, which was why he now paced before a legion of Sun Wu Kongs, all with forks in their hands.

Quick background, Monkey can make clones of himself of any size just from a single hair.

This particular group required 70 hairs, but luckily Monkey is covered in hair.

They stood in attention, the group of them looking up at the monastery, covered in thick, belly-button web strands.

And Monkey, the Sun Wu Kong Prime, said it was spaghetti time.

They all had their forks and their orders.

Get to work, gentlemen.

The monkeys marched up to the monastery and got to slashing.

When they severed the strings, they then got to twirling.

It didn't take long until, next to giant balls of webbing, each one of the seven spider sisters were yanked from the monastery.

I'm not sure how ten monkeys all roll up one string, but that's a long way down on, you know, the realism list, so we're just not going to worry about it.

The spider sisters, though, After having a very bad day fighting pigsy and having to run around the countryside naked, were now having a worse one, begging for their lives from these forking monkeys.

The monkey army had them pinned down, literally, and Monkey made his demands, or was about to, when a face appeared in the window.

Hey, sisters, the monk in the temple said.

Sorry, I know he wants his master back, but I'm going to eat the Tang Monk and effectively achieve immortality, so...

Sorry, he probably won't kill you, though.

But are you thinking that because I'm a disciple of the Tang Monk, I won't kill your sisters?

Monkey asked.

And before the monk could respond, Monkey gave a head nod to the monkey army, who proceeded to turn their forks on the spider women and smash them into green goo before the brother's eyes.

But you're supposed to like make demands or something.

You don't just kill them.

The monk couldn't really believe what he just saw.

Run, Monkey advised the monk.

And the monk agreed.

Monkey found him deep in the temple, back to the door.

Like the sisters, Monkey wasn't gonna give the monk a chance.

He brought down his iron rod and it was blocked by the monk's sword.

Monkey's eyes widened.

This was really cool.

He battled 50 rounds with the monk, all while asking if Xuanzong had these powers.

Can all you monks like go Super Saiyan and have really good fighting abilities if you need them?

He could see the monk's hand was starting to shake with fatigue.

You probably shouldn't start a fight you can't finish, though, Monkey shrugged, and then noticed that the monk was starting to get naked?

Monkey groaned.

Hadn't there been enough nudity for one week?

Seriously?

With that, the monk's shirt dropped and Monkey stopped fighting.

What was he even

looking at here?

The monk's robe fluttered on the wind, revealing the bare chest and eyes.

A thousand golden eyes coated his chest around his ribs.

Monkey stood equal parts awestruck and kind of grossed out.

You know they kind of look like spider eggs?

Was the last thing he said when, glowing as they charged, the eyes shot a thousand golden beams, which singed his fur and threw him back against the now golden rafters of the monastery.

And it hurt.

Somehow, this monk had managed to do what all the armies of heaven could not.

Give Monkey a boo-boo on his head.

Really, Monkey felt the sore spot on his head.

from where he hit the metal pillar going 150 miles per hour, and he was non-plussed.

What in the world was going on?

He had to get out of here.

With one shake of his fur, he turned to scales and he stood as a pangolin, an anteater, with iron claws, burrowing through the stone of the monastery floor, whispering a silent apology to his master.

Monkey's pangolin claws tore through the dirt exactly 20 miles away.

He was a very precise pangolin.

And he dragged himself from the hole.

His body ached, his head throbbed, and Monkey.

monkey wept.

Really, he couldn't believe it.

Poisoned.

Poisoned by some monk.

And that was it?

If their journey to the west was a sea voyage, they had navigated storms and floating mountains and sea monsters, only to be capsized and sunk by some small gully, as the story puts it.

It was over.

Then another weeping matched his own.

It was an older woman walking along the road, out

on her own,

in the middle of nowhere.

Hi, Monkey said, drying his eyes.

What uh

what is she crying about?

The woman shot him an angry look, saying that she was crying about her dead husband who was dead.

She had some rice soup and paper money to present at his grave because her real husband was really dead.

Alas, he had been poisoned by the demon lord of a hundred eyes from the Yellow Flower Abbey, slightly over 20 miles from here.

The poison was fast acting.

For someone like her husband, it killed him instantly.

But say, for a monster or a great monk, it would take three days.

But at the end of the three days, their bones would be complete goo, just like totally decomposed.

Monkey looked up, so there was there was hope.

Was that what she was sent to inform Um sorry, is that what this completely random and chance interaction was supposed to tell him?

It's not completely random, Sun Woo Kong.

The elderly woman smiled and put her hand to her mouth.

Wait what?

How do you know my name?

he asked.

And then he was nearly blinded by the brilliance of the Bodhisattva, an immortal, floating in the sky before him, telling him that the story of her husband was was made up.

He was fooled by a ruse.

Monkey shrugged, Yep, she got him.

Her name was the old dame of Lee Mountain, and she was on her way home from the festival of the dragonflower tree when she heard of the Tang Monk's ordeal.

She had the information that could save his life, but Sun Wu Kong had to act quickly.

Sun Wu Kong might have said that maybe she could have dispensed with the whole ruse to just give him the information straight away, but he had it now.

The name of the immortal who could subdue the demon lord of a hundred eyes.

Monkey could probably do it, he consoled himself as he traveled to the purple cloud mountain, but maybe not in the time frame allotted.

Three days until Master's body was a stinking mush.

Prolamba was her name, and she lived in heaven.

The story devotes a whole poem to how nice her house and lands were, but what stood out to Monkey was how completely and utterly alone she was.

There wasn't even a guard posted at her house.

Nothing to keep Monkey from waltzing in and and confronting the Bodhisattva to her face.

That face was very shocked.

Like the local god, she wasn't up on the latest news of Monkey's redemption arc and only remembered him from, essentially, the wanted posters all around the universe.

Monkey used this to his advantage when, having not left her house in over 300 years, she refused to help him.

And he said, quote, I am a demon of the earth.

No matter where you go, I can find you.

Which, if you're breaking into the houses of elderly women women and screaming at them with implied threats and letting them know that they'll never be safe because you'll always be able to track them down, you kind of have to wonder if that's good guy behavior.

That being said, if Monkey didn't save Xuanzong, then this whole redemption arc was for nothing, and he would be back on the run from heaven, so he really had to make this work.

And it did.

The woman said that she could stop the demon lord of a hundred eyes.

She had just the weapon for that.

Her little embroidery needle.

Monkey said, oh, an an embroidery needle.

That was the secret.

Unless there was a big and frankly odd reveal immediately following the sentence, then this trip here and his threats against a lonely elderly woman were all for nothing.

A needle made from the eyes of my son, Star-Lord, Orionis.

Who is real?

That's an answer to an email I got.

It is a real character.

I didn't just make up Star-Lord Orionis.

Monkey nodded.

There it is.

All right.

Could they go?

Xuanzong wasn't getting any less poisoned.

While we're on the Guardians of the Galaxy references, when they got close, Prahlamba pulled out her embroidery needle and, not even needing to whistle like Yan do, let it go.

It traveled by itself to the monastery.

And yeah, eye stuff does not bother me, but if you think about it even for a moment, moment, a flying magic needle being the kryptonite of a demon with a thousand X-Men style Cyclops eyes, it kind of works.

And it's also extremely brutal.

There was a lot of screaming from the monastery as Monkey and the Bodhisattva Prahlamba slowly approached.

When they arrived, they found the monk rocking back and forth, palms to his eyes in the beautiful garden.

Monkey called him a faker for some reason.

Not sure why, he just saw the magic needle fly in there and then came in to see the evil monk blinded.

And Prolamba asked if she could take him with her.

She needed a guard, you know, so no allegedly reformed demons could just walk into her house.

Monkey didn't care, just as long as he could get his master back.

Prolamba nodded and, from a paper package, brought out three red pills.

With Guardians of the Galaxy Superman and X-Men references all in the past minute or so, I'll spare you a Matrix one too.

And Monkey thanked Prolamba, as, pinching the monk's neck, he writhed and transformed into a centipede, his true form.

Monkey shrugged.

Weird, but not unexpected.

If this is your first time listening to the Journey of the West episodes, a lot of times animals, especially evil ones like tigers, spiders, lizards, and in this case centipedes, gain supernatural abilities as they age.

turn into demons and deceive travelers.

Sun Wu Kong found Xuanzong, Pigsy, and Sandy all still writhing on the floor and foaming at the mouth.

Gently shoving the pills down their throats and then holding their mouths shut until they swallowed, Monkey graciously relieved them from the pain of being poisoned with several hours of vomiting.

Xuanzong wiped his mouth to say he was sorry.

Monkey laughed.

He understood.

The day Xuanzong didn't go off on his own to a stranger's house to beg for food for no reason and put himself in physical danger, well, that was the day this quest lost all meaning.

Xuanzong smiled.

Really?

No, don't do that.

Monkey shook his head.

I'm your bodyguard.

Listen to me.

This was a big mistake, and you got the closest you've ever been to dying.

What were you thinking?

Sheesh.

Now, I think you have about six more hours of vomiting, then we can get back on the road.

And they did.

To be continued.

And we will.

We've heard everyone's requests for more Monkey King, so I've been trying to do one every other month now.

So look for one at the end of August, early September.

Next week, it's what happens when your spouse wants to put you on a diet.

Specifically, one quarter of one pee every day, which is basically another word for starvation.

There's also still a membership thing on the website and on Apple Podcasts.

For less than the price of a keyboard waffle iron, a waffle iron in the shape of a computer keyboard, you can get ad-free and bonus episodes that aren't a keyboard.

I mean, don't we all spend too much time in front of keyboards anyway?

Do our waffles really need to be keyboards too?

Unless it's some sort of weird symbolic thing where you're starting your weekend by eating an effigy of your enemy or something?

The member episodes are probably a better, more chill way to start your weekend.

Anyway, check out mythpodcast.com slash membership or find us on Apple Podcasts.

The creature this time is the Storsjudjurit from Sweden.

The Storzjudjurit is, well, a great lake monster, and I'm going to call it that from now on.

Sorry to all of our listeners from Sweden.

I just could not find a way to pronounce this word.

And every documentary that covers it sidesteps it too.

Anyway, it is a lake monster.

A big one.

A once legally protected endangered species lake lake monster, but we'll get to that.

So, one day in the early Middle Ages, some trolls got to cooking.

Two of them, Jata and Kata, stood on the shore with their own cauldrons cooking for days, weeks, or months.

I'm not sure if this was a competition or a collaboration, but someone managed to produce a monster.

A serpent with a cat head leapt from one of the cauldrons with a bang.

Now, if you're wondering if a creature that was half cold, dispassionate killer from its snake side, and half excited, joyful killer from its cat side, if that would be bad for everyone involved, it was.

Either things went very right for the trolls or very wrong, but regardless, they got out of there in a puff of smoke and the lake monster slithered into Lake Stjorzion.

Unsurprisingly, it caused a lot of problems for a lot of people, eventually growing so big from its vicious escapades that it encircled the island in the middle of the lake.

Luckily, a writer was around.

I'd like to think that words have power, but in the case of Ketil Runsk, they they did.

Literal magical power because they were runes he stole from Odin.

He used them to trap the creature in the lake by carving on a stone on one shore, one that's still there to this day, with the warning that if the runes were ever deciphered, the creature would be freed.

Like Nessie, or many other creatures we've talked about, the monster, literally meaning lake monster, large lake vermin, or lake unanimal, has allegedly been seen many times over the last 130 years, one of the most famous times being when a member of the Swedish parliament got a bunch of guns and friends and went hunting for it.

It was even captured on tape in 2008.

I'll link the video in the show notes so you can be the judge.

In 1986, though, the city near the lake celebrated its bicentennial, and they declared the creature an endangered species.

So it, its offspring, and nest were protected by law.

This was reportedly reversed in 2005.

So if you're looking to go to Sweden and hunt a cat-headed snake, it's open season, I guess.

Maybe go in the summer, though.

That's it for this time.

Myths and Legends is by Jason and Carissa Wiser.

Our theme song is by Broke for Free, and the Creature of the Week music is by Steve Colmes.

There are links to even more of the music we used in the show notes.

Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.

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